#sister loss

[brokenheartedartichokes]

I often miss my childhood bedroom

The walls all painted light blue

The window isn’t level in the wall

It makes the ceiling look askew

I miss the kindergarten floors

Yellow speckled paint

And the bunk bed that now holds junk filled milk crates

I miss the soft close of my door

And the creek in the floor

I miss the smell of warmth filling the room

While the outside is filled with blustery winter doom

I miss racing up the stairs

And throwing my bag in that old wooden chair

With my name so carefully painted

I miss the poster’s and pictures that adorned my walls

Now the paint is just lighter in those spots

The ceiling still sparkles with glitter spray paint

And in the frame of the door is still etched my name

And my sisters

And the dogs

Now exercise equipment covers the floor

My parents have gotten older, and it’s not my room anymore

But the walls are still blue

And it still smells like my room

[iankaikkinenvitutus]

The truth is that I miss you, Like I really fucking miss you. I keep reminding myself that you are dead, because somewhere in my mind you are still alive and this isn't reality.

[nyxanarchy]

[abrothersloss]

29.12.2023

It's almost New Year's. Christmas came and went again. We spent it with T&F for the second year running; it was ok, but for me nothing replaces you. There's always an empty chair.

The more the years pass I'm starting to feel your absences more and more in things that never contained you. I miss you our kid. Always.

[dearalyssanoelle]

Dear Alyssa,

It's been a long while since I've written. I'm sorry about that. Not that I haven't thought of you, and the world without your energy in it. So much has happened, that I know you see from your perfect spot, perched somewhere high up, taking in all the golden light.

It's not the same of course. The wanting of you here on the earth plane, the seeing what I'm doing, who I'm becoming, being able to meet wildflower, meet me for coffee, a facetime. It's still so strange that you will not appear somewhere saying hey, sorry I'm late. And it's even more strange that we are coming up on 12 years gone. That seems too long and then at the same time too short? Time is weird and it continues to remind me. No matter how far we are from this time in 2011, I still have the urge that I can outrun it.

Strong minded girls. The two of us. I just want you to know how much I miss you. How much I love you. How I wish you could be here, and I could be shopping for Christmas gifts or sending each other funny memes.

I love you sissie. Miss you even more.

[nyxanarchy]

yes my sister is dead and I'll never see her again, but I have to go to work, and to school, and I have rehearsal, I have to keep going, I have to keep living, I have to cook, I have to take the cat to the vet, I have to comfort my parents.

I feel like I'm constantly telling myself "you'll grieve next month, when this assignment is done, when the play is done, when it's summertime and you'll have more time, when you are not busy. You have to endure one week more, one month more, one year more. You'll cry when you have time, because the world keeps spinning and it doesn't wait for you."

I feel that if I stop even for a moment I will be lost. If I sleep one day through the grief I will never get out of my bed again. If I skip one day of school I will stop going.

I always say goodbye to my friends and tell them that I love them, because I now know that everything and everyone dies. And people can die suddenly in their sleep even if they are seemingly healthy. When I watch the people I love, I know they are gonna die, and my heart already weep from their missing. I cry over the cat knowing there is a day when she'll have to go too.

grieving as an adult is so funny it's like. im sobbing my eyes out i'm laughing like a maniac im pondering the mortality of everything around me. ok glad thats out of my system because i have a dentist appointment in an hour

[lgbtlunaverse]

Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intent to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.

[adhdandcaffeine]

Hummingbird

Messengers of happiness

Healers of the sick

Fierce, loyal, tenacious

That was you.

[3-aem]

universal healthcare is not broken and anyone trying to convince you it is is delusional and a dckrider for big health insurance. yes there are wait times but waiting for care is Not the same as being denied care.

in america your physician prescribes care and an insurer can still cuck you out of it because someone across the continent who has never met you can say: doesn’t seem medically necessary. Leaving you to handle a bill that is wildly inflated by the same insurers that just denied you.

let me drill it through your head you can pay thousands a year in premiums and still end up sick and financially burdened for years by One incident. no insurance company is Avoiding going broke by denying claims. theyre doing it to profit off your misfortune and your illness. Because healthcare fundamentally does not cost the amount that they claim it to be.

[gomzdrawfr]

Ghost would so ask Price to do a voice impression of Optimus Prime and then ask him to do it in comms and get giddy about it

[solargeist]

I love how over time kid xelqua has become less just baby grian and more grian's kid who he found in the woods/somehow created and now the kid represents all of grian's childhood trauma and Catholic guilt and grian is just trying to break the cycle bc there's this magic fucking baby who is the best thing in the world

JKAGJKD yes Exactly, see evo Grian has a lot of family issues, from being an orphan, to the Watchers, he has ISSUES, so raising a version of himself is..... definitely odd, but weirdly healing.. He sees how he was as a kid, he wasn't that bad, he was just a kid ! He didn't deserve to be abandoned or anything. He sees all of his ache in Xelqua, he's very much breaking the cycle.

[mumbo: You alright mate, you have that look in your eyes. grian: no yeah--i'm good, i just.... its easy to raise him, y'know ? i mean, i know he's literally me, but.. it makes me wonder about my own parents--before the watchers, if i was anything like him, i don't know why they left] (-me)

[brokenheartedartichokes]

Stephanie

I’m 28 and still on particularly snowy days my sister will call to question the magical properties of Narnia

She still shouts “I love you one time”

She’ll offer to buy Anna’s house because it reminds us of Russ and even though we’ll never say it those tables are too big, to empty

And we’ll sit and order coffee and eggs and though neither of us is particularly fond of their coffee it’s routine,

An unspoken secret shared by three sisters.

She’ll offer to bring me to the thrift store

And bitch about the way I drive

She’ll say I annoy her

And I’ll say she’s worse

But we both know without the other we couldn’t survive

My sisters love is quite

And ear shattering loud

She might blend in

But it’s always her I’m searching for in a crowd

[iankaikkinenvitutus]

I see people talking to their siblings, being able to message them, tell them about their day.

And here I am, talking to an empty room, just hoping that somehow she is able to hear me on the other side

[nyxanarchy]

How can I live when my little sister is dead? How can I continue to walk this world alone knowing she is not here, knowing no matter how hard I look for her I'm never seeing her again? How can I go on, forever missing? I wasn't supposed to do this alone. What am I if not an older sister?

[sergle]

I'm listening to a lot of Maintenance Phase (bc I love it) and this comes up sometimes, so I'll just be sat here thinking about how common it is for little kids to grow up watching their moms and other women in their life jump from diet to diet. Just as ambient background noise in your childhood, the adults around you obsess over calories aloud, express guilt over eating enjoyable food, frame exercise as a form of punishment for eating, and so on.