#sirius puns

[incorrect-fanfiction-quotes]

Portkey Rubber Bullets; Unfair, But Practical

Harry, getting shot: Ow, what the fu—

Harry, now somewhere else entirely: —ck? Okay what, that’s not fair, is he serious with with?

Sirius: No, I am.

Harry: Oh shit, he got you too?

Ron: And me.

Tonks: Everyone in the Order, really.

Voldemort, singing to himself: Badda bang badda boom, I present to you your doom.

[sunnysaystuff]

puns :3

sirius: prongs would you be a deer and get me a glass of water please<3

james: fuck you so, so much !

sirius: oh, please don't, my brother will get jealous :(

james: fuck off pads <3

sirius: but you're doe funny, prongs :( i couldn't deerl with leaving...

james: are you shitting me😭

sirius: nooo...james you know i'm always sirius, DOEn't you?

james: HOW do you have so MANY of them for fuck's sake...

sirius:

sirius: no i-deer

james: pads i'm gonna kill you

sirius: come on prongs, deernertime!! james: james, calling: REGULUS!!!!! i want dinner!!

regulus: *manifesting from the shadows (descending the stairs) like the spooky wizard (edgy nico di angelo ass bottom) he is* dinner has arrived, potter ;)

sirius: oh, FUCK no! prongs keep your paws OFF my brother!!!

james: last time i checked, YOU had the paws, pads...

sirius:

james, turning: reg, you look so- *glances at sirius* so FETCHING!!!!!!!!

sirius: sirius.exe has stopped working

[vyntagewrites]

James Potter with a little extra pudge around the mid section, after years of his wife’s cooking & more low key quidditch.

Remus Lupin needling bifocals to read, sheepish to admit it.

Lily Evans Potter refusing to dye her hair when the grays start coming in, saying it’s “natural & beautiful”

Sirius Black dyeing his hair when the grays start coming in, saying “my names not Sirius Gray!”

Ashdjdintszgaydifnr the Marauders, getting older.

[enbysiriusblack]

peter pettigrew is smart, he just has exam anxiety

[sorenphelps]

he’s clueless why everyone starts to take off their clothes when he invites them to see his stamp record collection

sort of a continuation of this

bonus:

R: so you meant it seriously… uhm, this is awkward…

S: well, i am always Sirius

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Sirius: *sitting with his face buried in his hands* Remus: *worried* Sirius? What’s the matter? Sirius: *still not looking up* James is fully convinced that he’s part dinosaur. Remus: ??? Sirius: He says that stags have evolved from dinosaurs and that it makes him part dinosaur. Remus: … may I ask how he came to this conclusion? Sirius: *big sigh* Stegosaurus. Remus: Stego- Remus: Remus: *sigh* Stag-osaurus? Sirius: Mhm *nods* Remus: Remus: Lemme just- Remus: JAMES YOU’VE BROKEN SIRIUS YOU BITCH

[everwalldigan]

Sirius: can I be frank with you, Frank?

James: not if I’m frank with Frank first, isn’t that right Frank?

Frank: *grinning, opening his mount to answer*

Remus: *sobbing on the verge of a mental breakdown* STOP PLEASE STOP

[wolfstarlibrarian]

hello! you probably won't answer this but do you have any recs for a ballet!wolfstar au? thank you :)

Oh, but I will! There's already a dancer list in the library because this is one of my favorite AUs. I'll link that list below along with ballet specific recs.

Wolfstar Dancers Wolfstar + Ballet

Dulcet by bluepeony Remus has devoted his life to ballet.

Pas de Deux in the Upper West Side by wilteddaisy (taotu) Remus Lupin is a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet. A lead role comes up for grabs in the company's newest ballet and Remus is determined to have it. But only when Sirius Black — oozing talent, charisma and all the elements of a world-class distraction — joins the company does it hang in the balance.

Fire On Fire by WolfstarGarden Sirius’ frown deepened. After a moment he murmured in a low voice, “I don’t understand you at all, Remus Lupin. Oh, but I would so very like to.” A flush crawled boiling heat up Remus’ neck as he fumbled for an answer. “Goodness Sirius … I’m no one special.” Sirius’ gaze didn’t waver. He said simply, “I think you could be very special to me.”

the elasticity of time by @mordax101 Where Remus gets into a bit too many fights, running from these fights brings him to his favourite record store and the ballet studio behind it, and a subsequent friendship that carries him through the years. (set in 70s muggle London)

Icarus by EkaFricai After six years performing as a professional ballet dancer, Remus Lupin returns to the Hogwarts Dance Academy to teach. (modern wolfstar AU)

Share this list with your own recs and headcanons!

[aludraslytherin]

James, talking to Sirius: I'll follow Reggie into Hell and back, but I just wish he could stop going there Reg, hunting down the the tiara in the Room of Requiement: I feel like someone is talking about me

[xenon1962]

[monotonemudpie]

Why isn't Snape the herbology professor?

Because he can't keep Lilies alive.

Why does Snape shave?

Because he doesn't want to be Harry.

Why didn't Snape take art classes?

Because he didn't want to do Pottery.

He's really Sirius about that.

Too bad he's stuck, Remusniscing.

We wouldn't want that cycle Lupin.

He stays in at night because he wants nothing to do with the Mooney.

Why does Snape where all black?

Because Sirius hates his family.

Thank goodness he's a potions professor, or else he'd get too Snivelly.

[overlord-of-fantasy]

Hogwarts has a free day

Peter: Guys, they are clothing school tomorrow.

James: Jup, they shirt it down.

Remus: That socks.

Sirius: I was underwear of this.

[anonymouse5]

Regulus: you’re a bitch

Sirius: thanks

[lusinzak]

Marauders fandom assemble!!!

So I was thinking about the fanfictions in different AUs, the canon compliant ones, and ones that are not, and it downed on me that our whole fandom is kind of a multiverse, like in Marvel. And in every universe, the characters are unique, sometimes not even a bit like the ones having the same name in a different fic. It is amazing and interesting, but, BUT what if they interacted with each other? Like a wizard Remus somehow travels to a non-magic AU and meets his friends, or James tries to bring Regulus from a not canon fic to one he sacrificed himself.

How cool would it be.

(And by the way, if there already are such fics, I am not aware of them, so drop recommendations, please)

[everwalldigan]

Sirius: hey Remus

Remus (already sensing some bullshit incoming): what

Sirius: what would you call a cow-horse hybrid who’s also a werewolf

Remus: ???? I don’t know, what?

Sirius: a moo-neigh

[fyloune-taylorsversion]

And Remus is oblivious ofc