#single life reflections
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Throwback Thursday: Reflections on My Accidental Marriage Retreat
Throwback to when I accidentally joined a marriage retreat while single! It was awkward yet enlightening. I'm grateful for the experience and the time I spent bonding with my son. Here's to embracing life's surprises! #ThrowbackThursday #SingleLifeAdventu
Looking back at my accidental adventure into a marriage retreat while being single, I can’t help but laugh at some of the situations I found myself in. It’s funny now, but it was quite an experience at the time! Amused by My Single Adventures I am genuinely amused by the odd scenarios I encountered while single. Signing up for a singles retreat only to end up at a marriage retreat was both…
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#accidental marriage retreat#bonding with family#Johanny Ortega&039;s Blog#relationship insights#single life reflections#unexpected lessons
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Opalized Wood / Heart
#gw2#guild wars 2#gw2 oc#dragonheart#gw2 sylvari#my art#and admist the void... when everything was thought lost... a single spark comes back to life#an opal in a dark abyss#glowing brighter and brighter until the sky reflects only its light
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curio cabinet
#ts4 wip#getting the mirrors to reflect properly took way too much math#my single braincell was fighting for her life
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eckhart and emerleigh finally got to moonrise towers and got Extremely Necessary Evil Disguises for the infiltration. no, neither of them remember how easily they were able to infiltrate the goblin camp without said disguises.
lae'zel just doesn't appreciate good fashion sense. gods.
#bg3#art#bg3 tav#eckhart and emerleigh#bg3 eckhart#bg3 emerleigh#bg3 art#tav#tav twins#bg3 marcolak twins#god these two are so stupid it physically hurts me#finally got a halfway decent screenshot of these two that reflects their current looks!!#please god dont ask me what mods exactly i have here because i cannot tell you for the life of me what every single one is#also the screenshot is an edit so they can be in the same picture. obvs i just took 2 screenshots and stitched em together haphazardly
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accidentally took somewhat of a vc fandom break for a while and i come back and it’s almost vamptember lol oops
#i’m not back back but i’m lurking and trying to catch up hope you’re all good & thriving! <3#also being gone kind of made me reflect a lot on the state of vc fandom & sort of where i fit in & how i've changed since i started my blog#the good and bad yk it’s interesting to me to note where my meta thoughts#-have evolved or changed completely or remained exactly the same#and how i interact with fandom too bc i’ll be honest when my blog was peak active and i was answering several asks a day#-i was wired on stimulants *and* in school full-time#lbr that amount of activity requires a very specific sort of energy and a very specific sort of schedule#and thinking about things that i would do differently here if i could start over things i’ll be doing differently now#and things that i plan to keep doing!#anyway a lot changes in two years is what i’m trying to say#but dw i’m still thinking about armand and lestat every single day of my life that will never change <3#hekate.txt
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Welcome to the “they’re just like me fr (derogatory)” club featuring no color because I would rather die than draw Sif with color
#keese draws#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#jackie stern#oxygen not included#ignore how I made sif look comically tiny I didn’t mean to even if I’m right#also the (derogatory) mostly applies to just jackie but sif made me remember I have hashtag issues so he gets a lil too#I do deeply adore both of them I just like jackie more because she’s a terrible person#which in turn means I bully her harder#I wish I could imagine fun interactions between sif and her or olivia but alas I don’t think it’d be very interesting#jackie would not be interested in talking to sif and olivia as much as I love her isn’t a very interesting conversationalist lol#I’d still enjoy watching her and sif interact but I feel like sif would get kinda overwhelmed by her technical questions#same with jackie if she actually did talk to them but I think she’d be more keen to seek the scientists of their world#and then she’s like this time craft needing immense power thing is bullshit I did it and it generates infinite power all by itself#and then she blows up this planet too to prove her point or smth#but yeah there’s smth deeply wrong with these guys I think they should die horrifically over and over again#but alas that only happens to one of them 😔#I’d love to put jackie in a timeloop she’d actually probably be actively happy for the first maybe few months but once she starts to crack#she’d just spiral soooo bad and shes absolutely incapable of self reflecting so her ass is not escaping#rly the most interesting question of looping jackie to me is how long would it take her to even for a second think she might have done a#single thing wrong in her life lol#sif vc aw shit I just messed smth small up time to have a breakdown over it#jackie vc wtf why did the earth blow up this must be dr.techna’s fault
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The reality of being a survivor is that the person or people who hurt you might just get to live full, rich lives and leave you behind. It's a perverse feeling, and it's true that that is fucked up. It feels like they still control you even when they're out of your life, and you feel trapped. However, you still deserve to be happy, to be fulfilled. Your life hasn't ended because they stole parts of it. They will never truly be able to take the essence of who you are.
Remembering this has taken the edge off of this thought. I won't ever give my abusers that power over me ever again. They never fucking deserved that.
#recovery#abuse#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#you can ABSOLUTELY grieve and be furious. you are entitled to those emotions and i think you're right to feel that way#but don't for a second buy into the idea that you don't deserve a good life. you DO. they fucked up and that's no reflection on you#you deserve so many good things#like... i do wish i could sit down with my abusers and fucking lay into them. but that's not possible#they're living their lives without a single thought as to their actions. they probably don't care that they ruined my life#so i won't empower them further by letting their influence transcend their presence#and that's HARD to do. it take effort and it's a daunting task#i don't blame people if they find that hard to do or think about#but i want to remind you that one day it might be easier. you'll get to a good spot#i believe in your ability to heal however that looks for you
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maybe I'd be more into astrology if the signs weren't like:
You're the coolest person on the face of the planet with that sign! And THAT sign, you're so productive and stable! Oh, and this sign, everyone born during this time of year is unbelievably hot and has a great dumptruck. And this sign is the best friend you could ever ask for.
As for you, you uh... (checks notes) cry constantly. And your moon sign is um. An overdramatic bitch. Sorry.
As for your GIRLFRIEND on the other hand! She's adventurous and fearless! Anyway your signs aren't compatible so u should probably break up 😘 crybaby
#astrology#zodiac signs#Zodiac#Horoscope#Hard to enjoy this stuff when no star chart or horoscope has ever accurately reflected a single facet of my life (:
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Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Irina + Nadia/Elena, Nadia/Roberto, Nadia/Sloane Song: Would've, Could've, Should've by Taylor Swift Summary: Exploring some of the parallels between Sark and Nadia, by comparing Sark’s relationship with Irina to Nadia’s relationships with Sloane, Elena and Roberto. Content warnings: Character death, child abuse, needles, torture, violence, flashing lights
#aliasedit#alias#nadia santos#julian sark#elena x nadia#irina x sark#nadia x roberto#nadia x sark#nadia x sloane#isplus#nsplus#fanvid#myedit#expanding on my old theory that irina for sark is what roberto elena and sloane all put together are for nadia.#wonder what is worse to have multiple people trying to act as your guides in life while actively planning on harming you#or to have one single person in your life who made sure that you have no one but them; who replaced everyone in the world for you?#when she's your mother as in Mother. when she's your maker your creator your savior. your arsonist and your torturer.#and your sense of identity is tied to her so strongly that you can't remember the life before her. you had no life before her.#and then you wake up one day and you realize that you've been surrounding yourself with her doppelgangers for years.#that everyone in your life; EVERYONE you've ever been close to or wanted to be close to is a reflection of her in one way or another.#it's that when you're raised with an angry man in your house there will always be an angry man in your house;#you will find him even when he is not there quote. and sark very much can't live without irina in his house.#he'll find her even when she's not there. he'll find pieces of her in everyone he meets.#he'll surround himself with women who remind him of her. he's in a constant search of a god to pray to#because the god who made him; who gave him purpose; who taught him everything he knows; has abandoned him.#if sloane had been present in nadia's life from the very beginning he could have eclipsed everything and everyone for her in a similar way.#but nadia had a life before him. she had people who loved her before him. she had a chance to become her own person before him.#and while it didn't save her in the end it DID help to protect her from most of his influence. nadia KNEW who she was.#and knew who she didn't want to be. and if nadia hadn't run away from the orphanage; elena could have become her 'irina' too.#imagine sark and nadia meeting for the first time as the protegees of two derevko sisters? both shells of who they used to be.
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#frase#frasi#quote#quotes#citations#citation#citazione#citazioni#life#vita#self reflection#self care#self love#self improvement#take care#take care of myself#building myself#single lady
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the idea of a Gayest Player In The NHL bracket at all is already in poor taste to some degree bc i get everyone loves to make the “they’re so gay for each other fr” jokes but the condition of the actual league and its actions right now is like. you do understand why calling these people Gay Icons (Positive) for funny haha jokes is just. at best inappropriate timing, yes? but the idea of literally including one of the guys who got pride nights cancelled with his homophobia is just. can we take a minute to realize that hockey fandom doesn’t take place in a void completely unconnected to reality and see that this is just. a Really Bad Look. at best.
#gav gab#saw someone reblog the actual bracket intro post with among other things#‘mom come pick me up they’re calling tseguin a gay icon in 2023’ and like#LMFAO. YEAH. FOR REAL. YOUVE SEEN WHAT HE SAID ABOUT THE SEDINS YES?#anyways get outta here with that shit#people have gotten real confident with the ‘they’re about to fuck at centre ice’ thing and saying hockey is a Super Gay Sport#which is a fun joke to make with your friends online ig#as annoying as i find it generally#but you do understand this isn’t real yes#and i know the bracket is not making claims about reality#but what it IS doing is including players like eric fucking staal#in a bracket for Gayest NHL Player#and the real life actions of staal actively make the sport unsafe for queer athletes and queer fans#stop mistaking jokes about hockey players fucking each other or writing rpf about that as any kind of activism#or any kind of actual reflection of the nhl#how do you think this is an appropriate thing to do for so many reasons lmao how are you including some of these guys on this#even before you get into some of the other insane behaviour going on in this bracket existing#‘I didn’t pick the contestants!’ you did you. you’re in charge.#‘just hope they get voted out’ don’t include them at all what’s wrong with you#why do bracket creators always act like it’s some kind of mandatory moral imperative they include every single thing nominated/voted in#you have agency here lmao. use it. fucking spineless.#rpf for ts#adjacent enough anyway#homophobia cw#why would you do this#lmfao the brief scroll of that blog i took the amount of ‘propaganda’ that’s just ‘this guy has friends’#wild. genuinely wild.#one request id like to make to the liveblogs this year too on a vaguely tangentially related note is#reign in your blatant and unrepentant amatonormativity please#from your local aro
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I'm supposed to sleep so I don't look like a zombie at school but brainrot is too strong. Anyway have those memes made with fatigue and without glasses (I'm probably fucking up my eyes rn lmao)
Spoiler till chapter 10, but most of it are prediction of my own
(I hope I'm not too far from reality and it won't come up too ooc, sorry if that's the case @nicoforlifetrue 😔)
Soul and Spirit : Where is the rest of ye ?
Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna hibernate until next Sunday
#rotten reflection#Theirs new nicknames take such a special place in my heart you don't understand#If the hyperfixation that ensmavedmy soul possess me hard enough#I might redraw some memes#Yes I do arts#I just never post anything#Also I never drew a single turtles of my life so I'm scared lowkey
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whyyy do people downplay you having any sort of mental illness, it's frustrating to deal with. This is why I like to stay in my bubble and not try to date, I guess I'm not meant for anybody..
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i promise i will calm down on the lyanna talk eventually, but -
the idea of twins and not knowing where one ends and the other begins; of being one in the same, to everyone else and to each other, and the blurring of lines between identity and autonomy. the way that benjen and lyanna are so intrinsically bound to one another, and the way that lyanna haunts the narrative and lingers in the lives of all of those whom she left after she dies, and the concept of not even benjen truly being alive - or real - once she is gone. benjen is forced to see her face every single time he sees his reflection, and ned and robert and everyone who knew her can't look at benjen without seeing lyanna, can't hear him laugh or see him smile because they are also hers. i do think this adds to his reasonings for leaving, for joining the night watch and going to the wall - it is the furthest he can get away from his sister (he will never forget her, never stop seeing her), and the only comfort he can give to his brother and those he knows, because their days will be haunted as is but he will certainly not help anyone to forget.
#* OUT OF CHARACTER.#sibling death /#benjen keeping ties with winterfell as a means of providing for the night watch#and benjen loving seeing his brother when he can. but also being So.#like sorryyyyyy. please do not point out the obvious thing that i have to live with every single day of my life and#is the reason i avoid my reflection. lets talk resources -
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thinkign about percy again
#anzu says shit#my ocs#She sees shit. she sees and hears shit#this girl is just BARELY holding it together!!!!!#id say therapy could fix her but at this point i dont think it will#id say yuri could fix her but i think that would Also Make Her Worse#scenario where shes washing her hands in her apartment bathroom and a twisted version of reflection begins talking to her….#specifically a version of her with green eyes bc yknow#and the reflection is taunting her. mocking her.#“You just aren’t cut out for the fixer life / but we could fix that for you. Just let him in.”#“One single step to turn your life around Percy. Just let him in.”#and she ends up punching the mirror so hard it shatters#THE WORLD IS DOING COCOMELON SHIT (ship of theseus) TO HERRRRRRRRRR AND SHE IS NOT HERE FOR IT NO SIR#in the end shes still perseus. just like she always has been and always will be.#usgjwkwiajhskdkdhdjksj percy why must you throttle my brain so. leave some room for rain world and pmoon in general will ya….
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Honestly realising it is completely fine to not want a romantic relationship not only because I just don’t want to but also because I don’t want the commitment and want to freely make decisions for my life just how I want to live it felt really nice :)
#cause like I feel like I’ve been blamed for wanting to make decisions without a partner in my mind#because I want to be able to do on trips or study elsewhere without having to factor in another person#*go#but honestly as long as I’m open about that and don’t get into a relationship and then ignore all the needs this person has#than it’s completely fine and valid and nothing is wrong with that#this still doesn’t feel fully right but having another friend think the same and me not believing they are in the wrong for that helps#just let me live#starrytalking#aromantic#asexual#aroace#queer#relationship#commitment#freedom#life#also not wanting to be committed to a romantic partner doesn’t mean not being able to connect with people#or not being able to be close and in a way committed in friendships#I love my friends a lot! but they also don’t demand me to be on a phone call with them every single fucking day of a vacation#or express that they wouldn’t be okay with me wanting to go on a vacation or internship far away for more than a few weeks because they#would just forget about me in a way?#like yes this is very directed at one person and I think I both misunderstood their point there and also they r valid in there needs and I#just didn’t realise I don’t actually want a relationship (with neither of us being good at communicating our needs and wants yay)#but this still sucked#and ofc my friends express that they’ll be sad about not seeing me for a while#but also I don’t feel like they want to lock me in a cage and control me every move because they express sadness without stopping me from#going. which the person I’m angry at also probably didn’t actually want but well their emotions sometimes got the better of them#and having needs in a relationship is obv valid but they have to be communicated and shouldn’t be controlling and I should’ve reflected on#what I want so just a lot went wrong but I’m learning a lot atm :)
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