#because the god who made him; who gave him purpose; who taught him everything he knows; has abandoned him.

[juliareed]

Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Irina + Nadia/Elena, Nadia/Roberto, Nadia/Sloane Song: Would've, Could've, Should've by Taylor Swift Summary: Exploring some of the parallels between Sark and Nadia, by comparing Sark’s relationship with Irina to Nadia’s relationships with Sloane, Elena and Roberto. Content warnings: Character death, child abuse, needles, torture, violence, flashing lights

[nemesyaaa]

losing my religion // dark!cult leader!rafe x innocent!reader

summary ; god loves you but not enough to save you.

warnings : mentions of religions. manipulation. cult. smut. corruption kink. small town church trope. religious trauma. purity/innocence kink. slight of god complex. first time. dark/soft!rafe. mentions of murder. sweet lamb trope. coercion. smoking. little age gap. heaven goal. mentions of size kink. glorification. be careful with the warnings. minors DNI.

author's note : it's around 5k words. pfiouuuu. televangelism by ethel cain playing in the background please.

“ father, will i go to heaven ? ”

“ father, will i be this good all my life ? ”

“ father, where was god when i thought he was there ? ”

“ father, did god let me sin on purpose ? ”

you lived in a small remote village, the kind of town where everyone knew each other, and where there were no secrets. well, you thought there were no secrets because everyone here was a true and firm believer. all the locals lived for god. and you would do anything for him and for your ticket to heaven. you had been baptized as a baby and had grown up as a child of the lord, and his most faithful angel. you have acted so well since your childhood and were sure that your death will be a pleasant trip to paradise.

you went to church every day because you always had something to say to god, to ask him, to make him understand. you prayed to speak to him, for him to see you, for him to hear you, for him to know how grateful you were for the life he had given you. your parents had always recommended that you cherish your existence, but also everything that happened to you, the misfortunes as well as the pleasures. life was neither all rosy, nor all white, nor gray or black. you were the only person to give it color. so your religious sister told you that you just needed to know how to paint, but that sometimes you would fail, you would fail but that it didn't matter. because you will make a masterpiece again sooner or later.

you were a devoted child, a faithful lamb with no anger inside, but above all full of love. you gave it to everyone when god had taught you and commanded you to share it as much as possible, that it was this feeling that would bring peace on earth. and who did not want peace, who did not want to please his creator? you were a good girl, so sweet and innocent, the kind sweetheart of the town, incapable of harm or sin, always dressed in your white dress and your little black shoes. you wear everything that can please god. you walked through the church hallway to join the choir, holding the candles. the world had his eyes on you, but especially this tall man lodged in the dark corner.

this man was not god and you knew it, because god would never look at you that way.

you wouldn't know how to describe this gaze on you, but it made you uncomfortable. you continued to move forward, holding the flame preciously against you. you sang with your angelic voice, glory to the almighty, glory to the one who made your existence so beautiful, to bring your back to life every time you felt, and this guy was still staring at you like you were the only person that existed, like the world had taken away the entire universe except you.

maybe you were an angel. after all, you were among the Lord's faithful.

you had never dated a man in your life. your parents and god forbid you, because you needed to stay pure for the good one. you had to remain virgin and clean for your future husband. you were forbidden to look at them, touch them or talk to them except for church activities. you were so loved by god so you had no right to sin, no fucking right to betray him. you had to remain as intact as the mother of everyone, as virgin mary.

you were as holy as the bible, the treasure of the creator. you were devoted like a lamb to his owner, as the followers to the cult leader.

you had never experienced something like touching yourself, making yourself feel good, and anything that included carnal pleasures. you didn't know about pornography, sexuality and lust. you walked away from it as if it were the devil. you were unable to make your god mad, you were too scared for that.

you were faithful to the lord. you helped the people of the village, homeless, the destitute, poor children, the elderly, you helped the world become a better place even when it seemed to be turning against you.

at the end of the mass, everyone, the priest had sent you to collect the funds from the locals.

you were standing in front of the steps. people were always kind and smiling to you as you were collecting funds for the church.

and you had been waiting for this voice to come at you.

“do you really want to go to heaven ? ”

you turned to face the man from earlier, the one hidden in the benches. you answered him with the sweetest smile, and the most nervous look. "yes, i do everything to go there. am i not good enough ? "

“everything?” the stranger had laughed kindly, but it had offended you slightly with that soft giggle.

“ why are you laughing ? this is not funny. ”

“ slow down, baby. you're too pretty to get on your nerves. ” he had pulled out a cigarette.

“will you forget God for a second and be an angel to me ? ”

“ God is in my heart, is in me. i can't forget him, even for a second. he's the reason why i'm living. ”

“ be sweet, angel and light it for me. don't say no, your divine father is watching you, you don't want him to catch you refusing to help a stranger and be mad at you? ” you looked at him with strange open eyes but you accepted. because he was right.

you didn't know how to say no to people. God didn't teach you to say no. people needed to help the people.

you lit his cigarette, and during the whole process he looked at you, his glare scanned your face. you were staring at him, and saw your own silhouette in his eyes, your shadow dancing in the perfect blue of his pupils.

you felt the heat in your cheeks, the burn of his gaze on your skin. you were unwell. you didn't like this situation, the unsteady feeling, the stranger proximity.

when you met him, you felt like a sinner more than a believer.

but he smiled at you. the soft kind of smile that made you forget everything, that made you feel so dumb.

“would i go to heaven now?” you teased him with a small laugh to echo his words.

“not yet but i can help you if you want if you're serious about that.” he answered.

“ i'm serious. ” you were really curious, and he had your full attention. you knew it wasn't good to talk for that long with a man. especially, older. but you took the risk.

you should have stopped when he complimented you because your parents said that men who are nice to girls like you always have bad intentions. but there was also something so charming and bewitching about this man. the way he was adorable. you didn’t see the evil in him.

“i really want to go to heaven, i swear on my life, sir. ”

“ sir ? such a polite thing but i'm not that old, sweetheart. i'm tall, not too old. ”

“ anyways, i really want to go to heaven !! ”

“you already said it, doll. i think God is tired of hearing it now. he wants proof, you know. he needs to see how devoted you are to him. ”

“how can i prove it to him?”

"i know God. i talk to him every day. i am his ruler. do you know what that means? that i am the one who decides for him whether people go to heaven or not. i am his most loyal servant, so he trusts me.”

“are you really connected to God?”

"you are too. we all are but the difference is that i can take you to heaven. i promise you." he placed his hand on your cheek, caressing it gently , a tender and unique gesture that made you shyly smile. “i���m not an angel. not yet.”

"yes, i assure you. i knew it as soon as i saw you in that church. join me." he announced with a warm voice.

“you have always been divine, i never doubted it. you have to go to heaven, you understand? you can't behave so well, be so charitable and disappoint God? and you wouldn't dare doing it, don't you, pretty lamb ? because do you think he will forgive you ? no, sweetheart. you will be punished and rejected like every sinners. ”

“ you're wrong ! God loves me ! ”

“you don't understand. you must be perfect until the end, you must be a great god masterpiece, not his biggest failure. you can't just be the chorus of this choir, be the beautiful thing who holds the candles at mass, the kind soul who helps others. you can't be just that when i can offer you even better and absolutely everything you want. any of your wishes. join me and i will make all your wishes come true, i will make you the new face of the paradise. i will make God see you everywhere. ”

"it seems so unreal...i don't know..."

he had cut you. he didn't want to give you time to think, leaving room for the barrier of doubt."you have to join me, isn't that what you wanted? for me to find you? if you believe in god, you have to be a good girl, make the right choices. "

“okay….” you finally agreed.

he waited for you in his car, one hand on the steering wheel. and you joined him inside. there was so much euphoria in you. you felt like you were doing something so right, so you had this goofy smile on your face.

"does God think i'm a good believer ? i pray every day, i attend mass every time, i sing in the choir and in my rooms all the songs dedicated to him. i only have the Bible as a book and i read it all the time. i can't do anything wrong. i'm good, i promise, i'm good. ”

"is that true? you'll have to show me so I can tell."

“I’m going to pray for you too.” you added. “I pray for all the souls in this world.”

“oh yes my angel will pray for me. i want to hear your prayers, all your prayers about me. but not in front of me. "

“ why ? ”

“ seeing you bent on your knees for me will make me sin. i wish you could see the kind of temptation you are. ”

you had arrived in front of a mansion. you were so flustered and nervous. you didn't understand what you were doing in front of this place, and why he had brought you here. he took your hand, reassuring you with his touch, and guided you inside.

you were not alone. there were other people, women and men. all dressed slightly the same, as if there was a regulation outfit. the atmosphere was strange, a little sectarian. there was an organ playing in the background, and everyone was looking at you kindly so you tried to relax.

"don't be afraid. they're like you, they just want to go to heaven. can you understand?"

you nodded and he showed you around all the places. he even showed you a room and said it would be yours. she was pretty, absolutely perfect but she wasn't yours. not that of your house.

"I'm not going home?..."

"what do you mean? this is your home now. we're a family."

"a family? i have parents, they will worry…”

"i thought you wanted to be close to God. were they lies? you know, you shouldn't joke with religion, and with words. if you want to be a good little christian, if you want to go to heaven, it is to me, and only to me, that you must be devoted.”

"I...I...no, i promise! I'm sincere! i'm sorry, really, I'm sorry. " you now felt terrible. there were so many tears in your eyes, you couldn't even see the room clearly.

the man smiled before taking you in his arms. "it's nothing, you just need to be clearer with your words, okay? I'm your only savior, you don't need others.”

he had wiped the tears from your cheeks. “I have a gift for you…” he whispered and you found your smile again.

no one ever gave you gifts. it was so rare. “open it” he told you.

it was a dress. not the one you usually wore. “you have to put it on. don't you want to shine, shooting star ? ”

" now ? "

"now." his voice was a little firmer.

“i can’t change in front of you…” you admitted. "you're a man...and I'm a girl...it's sinful, it's like having sex! we have to get married to have that intimacy. "

he smiled and laughed. "you've never been naked in front of someone? you've never left this body in front of someone else?"

he had approached, slipping up behind you, towering over you with his height, his hands resting on the corners of your trembling shoulders.

“my sweet thing, it’s as if you’re begging me to corrupt you.”

“what do you mean?”

“that i must see this body.”

" Is it bad?"

“What would be bad, angel, would be to upset me.”

he had pulled the tab of your dress to lower it a little. there were shivers in your body. you felt like you were doing something wrong.

"you're not doing anything wrong. this is what god wants you to do. he told me."

" It's true ? "

“ only the truth. just now. i wouldn't dare lying to you, my sweet. ”

there was nothing you could refuse god. If it were his will, you would do anything.

"but I've never done anything like that? I always thought it was wrong, that I didn't have the right."

he pulled your dress down to the floor, your naked body revealed in the mirror. you could feel his gaze growing more intense as he took in everything you had shown him. "is my body okay? I mean, this is the first time anyone has seen it so..."

"sweetheart, I've never seen anything so beautiful. but I don't just have to see it to judge it, I have to touch it. will you let me ? "

“Lust is a sin.”

“do you want to know my name?”

you had just now realized that you didn't even know his identity. you nodded your head.

“rafe.” he spelled it. “ you must know my name to pray for me, but also to glorify me.”

“glorify ?”

"you must glorify me. salute me and worship me. these are the rules if you want to go to heaven. you must be devoted, I told you.."

" fine…”

he sat on the bed, and you moved closer but he stopped you.

"no, no. all this sweetness but no useful brain ? ” he mocked. “ to worship me, you must be on your knees. ” he said, crossing his arms on his chest.

“ treat me as the same way you treat your god, angel. because this is what i am to you. i want to see your legs bow down for me, i want to see them treading the ground up to me. i want to see that precious look at the same height of my knees, let me see that head lifted up to glory me. "

he had lit a cigarette, the fourth since you had spoken, and had smiled when you started walking on your knees towards him.

he pressed his hand against the growing bulge in his pants.

“open your mouth.” he commanded and you obeyed, and he slipped his cigarette between your lips. “don’t smoke it, hold it only. don't go against my rules. can i trust this dumb baby brain for once to not disappoint me ? ”

he had taken off his pants, with his boxers. and you turned your head, strongly ashamed by his action.

he mocked gently. “in your place, i would not look away, that would avoid unpleasant surprises when this thing will be buried inside your virgin cunt, sweetheart. ”

he had retrieved his cigarette, and turned your head towards him.

"I can't believe you've never seen one. you've been such a good girl to me. you've been waiting for me. "

“will god hate me?”

“how can i show it to you?”

"it's not god you have to fear, it's me, sweetheart because I'm the only one who will decide for you from now on. do you understand? I have to be sure that you are deserving."

“give me your hand. let me guide you...do you trust me? ”

“ i trust you, rafe. ”

he had positioned your hand on his cock which was already hard. you shivered. your hand was clumsy around his painfully boner. yet you had heard him let out a grunt.

his fingers moved with yours, accompanying you in his lewd movements. you had god in your head, heart and body but your fingers fisted around that thick dick made you warm and good. you hated that feeling, but you can't deny the pleasure. it was the first time. you weren't used to it. you moved back and forth with little confidence, while he kept your grip around his bulge. you followed his back and forth, pumping him with fragility. you weren't sure if it felt good but his muscles had tightened.

your fist slid over his length, your hand working massively. your touch was divine, he threw his head back. you could feel his abs twitching in synch.

“open those legs. let me see that sweet untouched pussy. i'm gonna take such good care of it. are you still trusting me ? ”

“ yes…”

you didn't want to. it flowed between your thighs, the wetness spurted in a mess on the floor. and you weren't sure if that was a good thing. you couldn't tell if it was pleasure or not. it was new to you.

“trust me, you don’t want to make me repeat that a second time. do you ? ”

and that was enough for you to bend to his will.

"you feel, baby ? the sweet mess between your legs ? don't hide from me. ”

you continued to masturbate him up and down. you turned him on so much that he already wanted to come in your hand. his cock twitched in your hold and his balls slapped repeatedly against his skin.

"does that make you feel good? do I need to do better? do you want me to put my lips on..."

he had cum on your face. and you stepped back in surprise. “let me clean you up…”

you came back to him thinking he was going to wipe you but he caught his seed with his fingers, and brought them to your mouth. “if you don’t want me to put them down your throat, you better lick them now.”

you lapped up every last bit of cum on his fingers until they turned white again. you knew he was serious when he threatened you. "that wasn't really a warning, I'll do it someday. I really want to use every part of your body. and you'll let me. yes ?”

“whatever you want...”

he smiled and stroked your hair. “you learn quickly.”

you didn’t really know why but his recognition made you happy. she had an impact on you. you needed, and sought, his validation. it promised you to be even closer to god, to show god that you were faithful to him.

you had this urgency to please rafe, to show him that you could be really good.

for rafe, you were another girl that he led into his cult, another lamb in the troop. you were perfect, you always had the profile. he knew it as soon as he saw you.

he had come to the church only to see you. he attended every mass and ceremony hoping to corrupt you. you were so innocent, so kind and so sweet, and above all, you were ready for anything.

you prayed every day and read the Bible. so you had a desire, a goal, a faith.

he had placed you on his legs, his hands caging your waist, wrapping each part of your hips. “I’m going to make you an angel.” he had said, rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet entrance.

“I’m going to go to heaven?”

"it's heaven that will beg for you to come to it, I can even say. but you still have to do one thing for me..."

“tell me. I’ll do anything.”

" good. i really want you to take that dick. show me how much you want to reach eden, i want to see god in you when i'm fucking you. i want to hear prayers in that mouth for how i make you feel, how perfect i am to you and that sweet cunt of yours.”

you rubbed your dripping pussy against his cock, feeling the feverish, leaking tip against your slick folds. you had gently entered him between your impenetrable walls until now, letting out a long and loud moan when you felt his dick getting even harder inside you. It took you several bounces on his thighs to get used to, your pussy stretching around him. you could feel every inch of his length filling your canal but also widening it.

his large hands covered your ass, gripping the gummy flesh of your cheeks, his body moving and following your movements. he had grabbed your face to force a kiss from your already open lips, sliding his tongue against yours. a drool dripped from your jaw, as your pelt slammed and bounced violently against his. your hands were around his neck, trying to keep up the pace.

seeing you struggling and jiggling, he laughed. “even if you had prayers, you couldn’t even say them, too fucking dumb for that shit, right now ? ”

and it was true, you weren't even able to say a word without gurgling. you had tears streaming down your face, your moans were locked against rafe's glossy and pretty mouth, and you were trying hard to take his big cock as best you could. his dick was stuck between your sticky walls, your breasts hitting her toned chest.

“keep going, you’re perfect…” his smile was evil because it motivated you.

you were riding him without even being able to think. you were a fragile little thing doing bad things with a bad guy.

but you wanted to please him. you wanted rafe cameron to think you were good and deserving. you wanted to go to heaven, so you did your best.

and he knew it. you had broken your purity for him.

you were convinced to do something right, convinced that god saw you and that he would be proud to see you so devoted to him.

you didn’t see the harm. you were an angel and you let a demon corrupt you.

you had succumbed to man and his vices, you had let sin enter into you, and let it do you good.

rafe knew what he was doing. you had been his prey. and he couldn't wait to see you at his feet, to make you his perfect doll that he could handle so easily.

because it was only the beginning before you were completely his, completely in control of you, choosing what you eat, what you want, what you wear, what you think.

you were his and his only.

you were his nice girl, not god's one, the one who smiled at everyone, who always prayed in the church pews, who helped those most in need.

he had found you and snatched you from god. because it wasn't him to whom you owed your life. you were wrong and he had to correct that.

you were an angel, and he loved seeing you cry for him. your tears was made for being looked by his ocean eyes, to felt loved by his kisses.

he was completely buried inside you, plunged so deep that you were completely dizzy. and every time you thought he couldn't go any further, he surprised you. you were pretty sure he could put a baby inside you right now, just from the way his cock thrusted inside you, invading your shaking body.

you had squirted and cried, accompanying your tears with apologies. "you're fine. it's just means you liked it. it will also happen to me, angel. don't worry.”

the more he called you angel, the more you began to believe that you were one. you had squirted again but now you weren't scared anymore because he had reassured you. you had been afraid that it would be a disgusting thing and that he wouldn’t want you anymore.

but it was so strange. he was both gentle and cold.

“stop...I’m going to be pregnant!”

"that's not how it works...but if that's what you want, I can take care of it...whatever the angel wants.”

after that day, your life had been totally different, completely transformed by rafe.

you were part of this community now. you were all brothers and sisters, united for a common goal. you always prayed. but above all, you were completely manipulated. you were so controlled that you forgot your family, your friends, your entourage, your involvement in church. only god remained with you. he was still there.

you wore the outfits rafe wanted you to wear, you ate the food he wanted, you only talked about topics he allowed, you became someone else. you were what he wanted you to be.

but one night you heard god. you were sure it was his voice in the darkness. you were sleeping in rafe cameron’s arms, his bicep resting on your stomach. it was strange to see him sleeping like a child when he behaved like that.

you had begun to follow god’s voice in the darkness, your feet pacing and pacing through the empty hallways. the light guided you, it was he who accompanied you. he pulled you out, into the huge garden.

“do you think you can leave? do you think you can leave me ? are you that fucking dumb ? ”

Rafe’s voice made you jump. you weren't sure if you woke him up because you were a quiet person. but now he was in front of you, and he really didn't look very happy.

"I have to leave..."

“I’m afraid you can’t.”

“god spoke to me.”

"oh really? god may be talking to you but you need to listen to me. aren't you grateful for the life i gave you? didn't you want to be good? you're tear up your ticket to paradise. just bury yourself alive at this point."

tears had started to fall down your cheeks. you felt trapped because you didn't know who to listen to. god or this man?

your feet moved towards rafe. as you approached, his arms stretched out as if to reassure you.

“i’m sorry….i'm really sorry…..”

“i know you are but you also know that it’s not enough.”

“so tell me what i need to do to be good enough? ”

“you must sacrifice yourself. ” he said with that deep serious tone.

you looked at him with fear. you couldn't kill yourself.

“ i can’t kill myself, rafe…”

“i know, angel but don't worry, i will. ”

“ what do you mean ? i always did what you wanted me to do, i always been so good to you, i never be against you and your rules ! you promised me heaven, you promised me....everything. was that a lie ? you 'ever be serious to me ? answer me...never ? rafe, i was all what you wanted me to be, even that was not enough for you ? ”

“ i really wish you were. any last word, baby? ”

“ can you at least shoot me in the heart ? ”

“ tell me why...”

“ it's the last part of me you never took away from me. but now that i will die, you can take it. it's all yours. ”

[rpgchoices]

Davrin's past and his Dalish clan and his vallaslin (all mentions I could find)

So much in the game is hidden behind banters between companions (which is ahhhh a bit annoying) so I compiled all the banter and information I found about Davrin's past.

Not really plot spoilers, just Davrin spoilers.

At the end I will summarize everything in a bullepoints list.

Bellara and Davrin banter:

Text here (link)

There are also a few other banters I did not record where it is implied Davrin does not care about the gods or some other late game revelations. The only thing he cares about (and mentions again later in game, in a main scene) is how people see Dalish and elves, and how to minimize the risk of humans hating elves even more.

Taash and Davrin's banter (text in description for each image)

Davrin's quests information:

Here are other mentions from Davrin first quest: Rook: How did it go? Davrin: Poorly. They felt like I rejected them. Rook: Did you? Davrin: Yeah, I suppose. Clan life wasn't for me. I had to get away. Rook: So then what happened? You're out in the world, looking for adventure… Davrin: Got my ass kicked. Went broke. Davrin: I couldn't go crawling back to my clan a failure. Doubt they'd take me back. It forced me to figure out what I was good at. Always had a knack for hunting.

Other info we get from the Halla quest is that: Davrin spent summers tending Halla as a kid alongside Eldrin, who is not his uncle, but like an uncle. So this is a case of Davrin wanting to spend time with Hallas, or being made to by his clan. Eldrin's vallaslin is Ghilan'nain:

So it could be that Davrin's new vallaslin might be Ghilan'nain too. But I think it is Andruil's or a mix of the two.

Davrin could have gotten the vallaslin to honor Eldrin (we know he is the only member of his clan - if he is part of his clan - Davrin has no trouble contacting, even if they seem to have not met each other's in a while). But we also know Davrin was a hunter.

Eldrin was also the one who taught Davrin what to hunt basically. In his first quest Davrin says "When I was a kid, I'd hunt just about anything. Rabbits, deer, fox. Eldrin gave that purpose. Taught me the Way of Three Trees. The Way of the Arrow, Way of the Bow, Way of the Wood."

This is from Andruil and if we look at all three vallaslin:

Emmrich and Davrin:

(they have some discussions about Davrin not believing in the Fade or liking it, this is the one which mentions the Dalish clan)

There are also a few other banters at the Lighthouse that mention the Fade and the sky. Mainly they are about Davrin being uncomfortable with the open space and stuff about him disbelieving the Fade: "Good. Because it's not the sky. Emmrich says it's the Fade. Me, I don't know what to think."

Final banter with Davrin:

So basically, the summary of what we know for certain is:

Davrin left his clan voluntarily because he felt restless, he did not care about tradition and lessons, and he wanted to see the world

He felt like he did not fit in his clan since he was a kid

He was also hunting everything he could find until Eldrin taught him the way of the Three Trees and to protect life by hunting darkness (monsters)

Eldrin is like an uncle for him and lives isolated (unsure if he is part of Davrin's clan) and Davrin used to spend summers helping him with the hallas

Davrin feels like he pissed off his clan, he rejected them and both Davrin and Bellara agree it would be hard for him to go back

In another dialogue, he says he actually did not think the clan would take him back at all even if he crawled back asking for help ("Like a failure" he says)

He does not regret joining the Grey Wardens and looking for adventures, but he seems to regret that came at the cost of leaving the clan and not being able to return or keep in contact with them

Also, he says the outside world was different from what he imagined

PART 2 HERE

[megumimania]

SUMMERTIME — nanami kento

synopsis: it’s nanami’s year to host the annual summer barbecue— but will it go as well as he planned?

warnings: nanami kento x fem!reader, gojo is a lowley a dick in this one, brief mentions of jjk 1st and 2nd years, fluff, nanami not trying to kill gojo for 5 mins challenge go!

author’s notes: heyyy im back from the dead! honestly life has been so busy but im glad to be back for now, im just cleaning out the drafts!

“please dont—” nanami calls out but it’s too late. the sound of his porcelain vase shattering on the ground cuts him off.

at this point nanami knew that this would happen. in the days leading up to the annual summer barbecue, you’d heard your husband whisper, yell and mumble every expletive in the book.

you know he didn’t mean to curse so much, it was just the stress of planning everything getting to him. it was also the fact that he often tried to separate his work life and his home life. he’d refused to do overtime when you had dates planned and he often booked days off to work around your schedule.

the separation between his home and work life made his life less stressful, knowing that you were kept away safe from the evil world of curses and jujutsu made the harder days more bearable.

“sorry nanamin!” the pink haired teen called out, flashing one of his usual smiles that could probably let him get away with murder. nanami waved him off seemingly unfazed.

at first things were going smoothly.

drinks were flowing, the kids were either playing or swimming in the pool and his fellow co workers were chatting away on the patio. for a second nanami could breathe until the smell of acrid smoke wafted in the air.

he forgot he left gojo on patties and hot dogs duty.

“gojo did you just burn the hot dogs and patties?” nanami asked calmly, simultaneously going over the relaxation techniques you’d taught him in his head. nanami wasn’t quick to anger by any means but when gojo came into the equation, it was almost instinctual.

nanami couldn’t throttle gojo in front of his colleagues and students. what kind of impression would that make?

he figured that they would understand nonetheless, almost everybody here had thought about doing the same thing, it’s just that he’d be the first to actually do it.

“nanamin this is no way to talk to your elders!” gojo berated him, shaking his head profusely for dramatic purposes only.

“i thought you’d know better manners than that.” gojo replied, feigning disappointment.

in any other situation nanami would apologise for his supposed lack of respect but when these words were coming from the mouth of a 28 year old, over powered man child, his comment was like water off of a duck’s back.

“i don’t care, you better fix this,” nanami replied, his voice low and threatening.

he did not want to disrupt the lively atmosphere of the barbecue because of one idiot’s mistake. he slipped some money into his hand, hoping that a few gojo free minutes would lower his blood pressure.

he spotted you talking to shoko and utahime by the pool, looking gorgeous as ever in your blue sundress. you were throwing your head back in laughter as shoko made a funny joke.

god you were still beautiful as the first time he met you at a party that celebrated the merger between the two companies you worked at.

he remembers it as if it was clear as day, whilst everyone was networking and socialising with each other, you stood off to the side of the room like a wallflower and from the way you kept zoning out whilst several conversations were happening in your direction.

he knew he found the one in you.

the only person who’s social battery drained faster than his. nanami was and still is forever grateful for the slight buzz that the complimentary champagne had given him, as it gave him the liquid courage to talk to you.

and now five years, a wedding and a beautiful home later, nanami still looked at you with so much love and affection as if everyday was the first day he met you. he was extremely lucky to have you in his life.

“i’m sorry ladies, i need to borrow my wife for a second.” he said politely as shoko raised her hands in mock surrender, giving him a cheeky grin. by no means did he want to pull you out from the conversation you were having, he was happy that you jelled well with his colleagues.

“she’s all yours nanami, don’t worry about it.” she patted his back playfully as her and utahime walked off in an another direction with their drinks in tow.

he knows he’s being awfully clingy right now, pulling you away from what seemed like a good conversation but he just wanted a brief moment with you before he had to deal with everyone’s shenanigans again.

in the back he can see nobara and maki hustle everybody in an intense game of poker, shoko and utahime purposely accidentally blowing smoke into gakukanji’s face to piss him off or to probably send him into an early grave.

“would i be a terrible host if i kick everyone out right now, hm?” he pulled you into his chest, your presence having a calming effect on him.

nanami could die here in your arms. in an instant the sensory overload he was currently experiencing was immediately quietened by just being here with you.

you rested your hand on his chest, the blaring testament of nanami’s love for you sitting pretty on your ring finger. the ring cost a pretty penny that nanami was all the willing to spend, even going the extra mile to buy lab grown diamonds for you.

“i think they’d be more understanding if you fed them first,” you joked, looking over at the grill that was currently missing from the action. “speaking of…where is the food?”

by reading his facial expressions, it didn’t take much to deduce that a certain white haired and blue eyed sorcerer had a role to play in all of this.

it was common knowledge that gojo wasn’t a good cook by any means. that part was really solidified last year when half the staff was out sick because he decided to experiment with his food on one friendsgiving evening.

“c’mon babe, chill out have a drink or two. you’ve been so uptight all day.” you suggested, offering him a reprieve from his host duties. nanami couldn’t say no to a pretty face like yours, especially when you were looking at him like that.

he eventually gives in, grabbing a bottle of beer from the cooler. it’s not his favourite drink of choice but he figured that it would do for the time being. nanami relaxes under your touch, his heart rate and breathing becoming more slowed and even.

you forget how much work aged him, even though he says that it’s the most fulfilling job that he’s had. the wear and tear of being a sorcerer definitely added years onto him despite him only being 27. a vacation is definitely needed for the both of you, a long one preferably away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

protests come from the partygoers who are eagerly awaiting the food. yuji and nobara proclaim that they’re gonna die without food that earns an eye roll from megumi, who has gotten accustomed to his friends dramatic tendencies.

gojo arrives on cue with a terribly awkward ijichi who profusely apologises for their lateness. nanami quickly gets up and helps put the bag of food away before telling ijichi to grab a drink and chill out by the patio. he feels bad that gojo made him work on his day off because lord knows after dealing with gojo 24/7, a break is definitely needed.

“you’re a lazy sack of shit.” nanami tells gojo as he begins to plate up the food for the kids, handing out plates to the kids as they come. gojo plays dumb, as if he wants to ruffle nanami’s feathers even more.

maybe it was a rich kid or only child thing hell, maybe it was a mix of both but as much as gojo claimed his childhood wasn’t like one of those “super rich, super spoiled kids”, it did show in his mannerisms and body language. for example his attitude towards the mundane like doing the dishes or laundry. someone was always doing something for him.

“what do you mean?” he asks, feigning ignorance. nanami wasn’t going to give him the reaction he wanted, choosing to be blunt as hell. someone had to bring him back to reality one way or another and unfortunately the task befell on him.

“you made ijichi come in on his day off, just to drop off some food.” gojo groans in annoyance. trust nanami to turn everything into a teaching lesson. it wasn’t his fault the food was heavy and in his eyes, this wasn’t work, this was merely ijichi helping him run an errand as a good friend does.

“if he didn’t want to go with me, he would’ve said something, right ijichi?” he calls out to the younger man, who stills at the sound of his name being called. he meekly nods, not wanting to be dragged into this mini argument between them both.

“still doesn’t change the fact that you’re still an ass.” nanami still relented much to gojo’s dismay. his expression changing once you came over, the hard lines on his face softening as he spoke to you.

gojo thought it was adorable as hell that nanami was a complete softie for his wife, a complete contrast from the stoic exterior he displayed on the field. he knew that deep down nanami had a big heart—it was evident in the way he always looked out for the students and the other sorcerers.

you placed a kiss on his cheek, poking fun at how red he turned from the moment before walking off, food in hand. gojo leaned in closer to make a cheeky remark but was immediately silenced with a burger being shoved into his mouth.

“shut it.” nanami muttered before going over to join you on the loungers. gojo was stunned, he was too busy trying to work his way through the layers of bread and meat to process what just happened.

nanami was too busy enjoying his time with you to care about what gojo’s next plan of action was. however he mentally drew up a scoreboard that brought a sense of satisfaction for him.

this week:

nanami 1

gojo 0

[kurishiri]

03 ┊ A match of life and death, the art of self-protection

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— jude⌛'s past records, record #3. i'm so, so sorry for taking so long on this ,, orz

— cw: brief mention of human trafficking in the end.

Jude: I’ll give ya more in return. So give that medicine to me.

Going so low as to threaten him with a shattered bottle, it resembled what had been done to us by our father and brother.

God knows how long we glared at each other.

But the one who opened his mouth first was the doctor.

Oswald: ...Listen up, lad. An investment is lending out funds with the expectation of future gains.

O: Only an ignorant and selfish child would think he could receive funds just like that.

(...!)

(Hate to admit it, but this damn doctor’s got a point.)

I could shout and yell out all until I gave out, but in the end I was only saying bratty, spoiled nonsense.

Unable to say anything back, the doctor handed me a thick medical book.

Jude: What’s this for?

Oswald: By the time I come around next time, have this entire book memorized.

O: If you can demonstrate your abilities, I promise I will administer the medicine.

The book he gave me was so thick, it could probably kill a person if they got hit with it.

And the doctor came around here once a week.

——All that to say.

(He’s thinks I don’t got it in me from the start so he’s givin’ me this tall order.)

Jude: Ha, bloody hell... all of ya lookin’ down on me, aren’t’cha.

(But it’s this or nothin’ for us.)

(I’ll weave from a single straw if I hafta.)

To get more out of this than if I were to steal and sell it for a likely-high price,

I was grateful to my mother, who had taught me how to read.

Jude: Couldn’t ask for nothin’ more. I’m in.

——is what I said, but memorizing everything was far from an easy feat.

Jude: Ether has been used as a narcotic in treatments...

J: Tch, there’s way too many fancy words in ‘ere.

I felt like my heart was going to get crushed countless times.

But, if that happened, that would really be the end for us.

I absorbed myself to the point I neglected sleeping and eating——

And then, one week later, I memorized everything.

The damn doctor would point to a page, and when I recited its contents, he let out a satisfied laugh.

Oswald: Haha, to think you really went and memorized everything. That was quite a feat even for myself.

Jude: The hell? Weren’t ya the one who told me to memorize this entire thing?

Oswald: Indeed. It’s my defeat.

O: As promised, I will treat you guys.

Jude: As ya should, ya git.

Jude’s little sister: ...Hey, mister doctor.

Oswald: Hm? What is it, kiddo?

Jude’s little sister: Will... will ya really fulfill your promise?

Jude’s little sister: ‘Cause even if my brother makes a promise, all the adults go ‘round breakin’ ‘em.

Jude: ......... (O_O)

Oswald: I could say anything with this mouth, so I was intending to show it with my actions...

O: But I will not break the promise. ——And that is absolute.

And so, the damn doctor, as promised, periodically administered the medicine to us.

My sister and I then slowly recovered.

While under the treatment, the damn doctor didn’t utter a word. Nor did he show us any pity.

He simply treated us as another human being, on equal footing——and while I hated to admit it, that made me happy.

So that may have been why my mouth ended up slipping.

Jude: They would’ve wanted us dead. Which was why I did everythin’ I could not to.

Dammit, I had thought then——but the damn doctor responded with a dispassionate voice, all the while continuing the treatment.

Oswald: If you died because others had wished for you to die, that would be the most uninteresting thing.

O: So, if that’s the case, why not live a stubborn life? That is the ultimate revenge.

In an act of amusement, he would tell me about lots of things.

And I would come to absorb more and more of that knowledge.

But, such a peaceful time would end and fade away in an instant.

Jude: The hell? ...Ya sold her?

to be continued…

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masterlist🌙 ┊ ko-fi ☕��� ┊ comms 🤍

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Well, ig it's time for me to talk about one of my favorite lores and streamers at this point.

Fit MC of 2B2T and his tragedy.

Honestly, when I watched the launch of QSMP I was full on Philza watcher. I never knew Fit before, but I was charmed by his voice, humor and friendship with crow father. And honestly I never even expected any lore from him, so when his first lore stream happened I was pleasantly surprised! So, I really want to express how much I love Fit's lore. It's not in your face and has a lot of subtle hints and build up. Honestly, it's not an essay but rather an expression of true admiration of masterful story telling in form of incoherent ramblings.

(I'll try to compose it, but I can't promise it'll always be coherent)

So let's start with quick review of his lore. FitMC of 2B2T is, evidently from the oldest anachy server. It's described as wasteland, where you can't trust or be trusted. Once he was approached by a person, whom Fit can't remember. It was a contractor who sent our favorite war criminal to the Qsmp with a mission to steal player data. Everything up from there is in vods.

Well, it is a great start, isn't it? At this point we have a very sad start. Practically no trust and emotional connection to anything. The eternal destruction, explosions, deaths and betrayals don't teach you anything different. So once he came to the server, I imagine, Fit didn't care about anything but mission. Player data and that's all, but right from the start this mindset started to change because of the greatest misfortunes of any mercenary or a 2b2t player. Emotional connection.

So now let me break this up into some sections.

Philza: you really thought I won't bring him up? As a greatest (platonic) Fitza/Wallflower duo enjoyer or just a Phil watcher, I couldn't leave him out of this post. I really think that Fit's learning started with crow father. From the start we know that they're at least are acquaintances. But throughout all this months they grew into something more. Philza's trust is hard to get, but if you get it this'll be worth it. Yet Fit got it. Throughout the good old days of Qsmp, when everything was easier, Fitza always were together. No matter was it a life threat or a camping trip with kids, they're with each other. Trusting to each other enough to letting each other in eggs' homes. And after feces hit the fan, it didn't change. A person, who was taught to never trust a soul and to survive no matter what, was standing there, saying "I'm with you, Phil" In the midst of attack. The trust between them is just incomprehensible. A paranoid hardcore survivor and a war criminal, with a lot of secrets and separetion anxiety, became best friends. If anything goes South for Phil, Fit'll be spying, controlling situation. If a wise crow ever starts loosing his sense of reality, this soaked in blood hand will lay on his shoulder, reassuringly. And it isn't one sided. If Fit needs anything Philza instantly passes him it ("You're too good to me"). Phil shares everything he can with Fit and even trusted the Dream to him. And Fit even had a small separation anxiety attack, just cuz Phil was gone for a few seconds. They are so close, Fit even considered letting in Phil on his purpose, Aaaaah... They're gonna be the death of me. Philza learned Fit friendship/ platonic love.

"You [Phil] and I [Fit].... We walk into churches and they burn just by our presence."

Ramon: the baby boy made in heaven by God himself. There's so much to be said here. Once again, coming into the island, Fit never expected to connect with someone, especially to have a son. After having a rocky relationship with Spreen was left one on one with a child. The absurdity of situation is just as laughable, as ironic. A man, who's hobby was killing kids with no back thought, was now stuck with a child, having no idea of how to raise him. And, honestly, he did pretty good! He gave Ramon freedom, but always was here, close enough to help if needed. Of course he wasn't the saint, yet he always tried to be as honest as he could, even letting him on the "Family secret". Ramon loves his dad, and it's obvious by how he helps Fit with his job, building him a communication with his contractor. The little one even taught this cold person to be kinder and more open. They only have each other. And Fit is ready to do anything if it means he'd get to leave with his baby boy by his side. Also I don't wanna hear a scrap about 2b2t historian not caring about his son's disappearance. He does. After behaving and distancing himself from his past antics, he decided to burn the ship, where Ramon lost his first life, just to avenge his baby. He visits his sons house every stream, looking if maybe he came back. If you want any prove of how much they care about each other search Ramon's graduation. They made each other better and their love is just aaahhh. I love them. Ramon taught Fit parental love.

"Baby boy, made in heaven, by God himself.."

PacTW: the last, but not least, Pacman himself. Oooh, love, oooh, lover boy.... Now, I haven't watched a lot of their interactions, but from all I've seen they're suuuuper in love/crush. All those little glances to each other, protection, quality time... Honestly, I think these two videos explain everything. They trust each other and at least have a crush on each other. And once again, there're a lot of small moments that prove this point. Fit having a small panic attack over not seeing pac for a few seconds and even helping to find Walter Bob and Mike. And Pac, no matter how much he loves Mike, didn't drop Fit after the latter was accused of being a traitor. Love is blooming, and even though it's "baby steps" These are still steps. It takes a lot to relearn trust and especially this kind of intimacy, when all you knew before was war, betrayal and lie. And thus Pac taught him love and trust.( I'm not big on shipping but every time hide duo hug my life gets a little better).

"Baby steps, chat. Baby steps. (Puts roses Pac gifted him)"

But, why did I call Fit and his fate tragic, and then just list all the good interactions Qsmp gave him. After all he experienced at 2b2t , this island seems like a heaven. But, Fit was, is, and forever will be stranger at the paradise (this man is way too good at presenting lore. Even music gives us soo much things to think about... I love it.). No matter how much Fit loves people around him and feels this being reciprocated, he'll never have this full closure. He knows and believes that once everyone knew his mission, they'll hate him. Even people I listed before. He'll never be fully honest with anyone (apart from Ramon), and no matter how people love him. Fit truly feels for Baghera, when she told him about her past and her fear of telling it to BBH. It is literally what he struggles with. This dialogue has a lot of good foils and parallels. The fear of their past, full trust/ forced lie, darkness/ light, and eventually positive outlook. Baghera was eventually able to trust Bad with her secret, yet Fit wasn't. But this paradise spoiled this war criminal. It made him more trusting, more social. Fit can't now be alone, cuz he connected with people. This server, though is full of secrets, lies and danger, is still a paradise. A heaven on earth for a lonely man...

So the last part of this long ahh post is about his desire. The one thing that convinced Fit to go to qsmp. Freedom. Which he doesn't have. By making this deal with Contractor he fell into the trap. He must to find this player data, or else he'll return to the world he tried to escape. For forever. With no way out. But once he came to the server, Cucurucho will never let him go. So he's now in double trap. Yet the biggest trap is Ramon. He's prepared to sacrifice everything for his baby boy, and can't leave the island without him. And without Ramon Fit wouldn't be able to contact the contractor. So in creating connections, Fit traps himself further.

I can't really call it a character analysis, but it's all I see in Fit's lore. A very lonely war criminal, that got so tired of distrust and destruction, that he agreed on a spy mission. But once his mission started he learned how to love and care, that he trapped himself further. Love isn't a miracle that saves you, but it's a very useful tool. Once you learn to understand and reciprocate it, life may become better. (Sorry, it's super cheesy, but I think it encompasses Fits character very good) .

Fit is a spy. They're not supposed to have a family and love, because they can't stay for long. And I think at first, Fit saw everything and everyone as just a means to an end. Just the player data. But after all that has passed he can't be the same. He has a son, friends and a possible love interest. Will he be able to still continue his mission? Will he still betray them and they're trust? I don't know.

But I now I love how cc! Fit does his lore. It isn't so in the face and doesn't affects other, yet it is so layered. Everything is so important down to the music choice aaaaagh. I don't even pretend to analyse everything in his lore like contractor, memory loss, head aches and ect.

I just love it. It's marvelous.

[jrwiconfessions]

Sorry this is going to be a long one, but I really hate the take of Mallard Conway and Clarence Albert (guy implied to be the first Wisperer) having been a couple / a one-sided relationship.

Basically all we know is that Clarence was Mal's mentor and that Mal deifies him, THATS IT. Charlie made one joke and the fandom ran with it.

Which sucks because I feel A LOT of Mal's actions make more compelling when viewed from the mentor angle.

In his first appearance, Mal takes Tide away from the Prime Defenders - separating this new Whisperer from their mentor/parental figure to see how they react to a similar situation. It's just the first of the many tests Mal subjects him to throughout the series. We know Mal sees a lot of himself in William (because he flat out states so), he puts him through these trials to test if he is worthy of being the Wisperer, to inherit the legacy of this person he admired so much, this person who taught him everything and gave him purpose.

Also the line "There is no Wisperer anymore, there is no-one. There is no God!" that he says in ep 39 is also super interesting? Like he's the last disciple of a long dead god, growing more resentful and furious with every false idol he finds in his desperate search for meaning??? That's sick as fuck.

-

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I just read your response to star-anise and I wanted to say thank you. It's horrific how NPD is demonized. People will paint every move as malicious, i.e if you make a sacrifice and you're not a narcissist, you're selfless and kind, if you are, you're playing martyr for praise and attention. I find it interesting that people can be labeled as either bad or good for the exact same actions or reactions depending on your likeability and prior labels

when I was in my first anthropology class, my one-day thesis advisor started interrpgating us about WHY certain observed phenomena happened. He asked us why it is that societies tend to send men off to war, and we gave him a million different answers and he tore into everyone, forcing us to look deep into our assumptions of what reality was. He asked us about why we jail homeless people and he did the same thing, ripping apart the explanations our class had been taught from childhood. He asked us why incest was generally considered morally wrong and even then none of our answers could withstand his interrogations.

We were 16, 17, 18, and 19 year olds mind you, he wasn't expecting us to be debate geniuses. But he picked emotionally impactful topics on purpose and held us all in that classroom looking into a mirror and explaining to ourselves what we believed and why while he undermined everything we thought we knew.

Lass was a dick in so many ways, and my decision to respond to his assholery with spiteful rivalry and dogged refusal to cower before him and his smug interrogations of our conceptualizations of reality made me one of his favorite students. He met my wife back when we were still dating (she sat in on my thesis peer-presentation at the end of my senior year) and told me she was a keeper because of the questions she asked me and the other presenters during our Q&As. He was a man who liked living in the uncertain and prickly, and I have to admit that his approach was contagious in some ways.

When I think about the origins of the language of "narcissist", of Narcissus the lover of beauty and the admirer of rare treasures, of the vengeful and insecure Greek gods who tended to dole out vicious punishments to any human who dares to see humanity as equal to divinity, of the angry backlash that hegemony always has to anyone who is unable or unwilling to buy into its inflicted premises....

Well. What seems more likely? That there is some class of people biologically incapable of comfortable coexistence with other humans due to moral debauchery? Or that there is a group of people whose willingness and ability to be subjugated by hegemonic power structures is incompatible with social structures that normalize systemic abuses and violations of self?

I'm not saying that means someone is a perfect flower who has never done anything wrong, but like. Maybe individual accountability for systemic mechanisms of interpersonal and social abuse is still bad even when it's against people who do wrong/bad things sometimes.

I dunno. I think people are comforted by easy moral answers, but I spent 8 year working with Lass in various capacities and never met anyone who could fully step up to the task of defending their beliefs against his interrogations. Like. the man was a moral-grey-area metal-detector of a human being, and no matter how nuanced we thought we'd gotten in our analysis, he was always able to pull a further assumption out for us to examine. I learned to distrust my own feelings of confidence in really interesting ways. At this point if I think I have something all figured out, I take that as a sign that I should take a step back and look for my blind spots. Which I think was the point of Lass's trial by fire approach to teaching in many ways, damn the man.

People are really confident in their hatred of and rage towards "narcissists" and that tells me that the blind spots aren't being monitored. That's all I really need to say that I'm unwilling to take anyone's assertions about narcissism on faith. I don't pretend to have answers (though I continue to find the pursuit of those answers in conversation an admirable and enjoyable process) but I think it's important to be loud about that so that people don't gloss over that element of what I'm saying when I'm communicating about functional interpersonal dynamics.

[jankwritten]

I will never be normal about Ox and Gordo’s relationship actually. Thinking about them makes me insane. Like imagine being abandoned by everyone you love everyone all at once they’re all dead or gone across the country or fucking banished to prison and they left you alone, ON PURPOSE, and you can’t do a damn thing about it because if you leave you abandon your home, their home, you lise what feels people you have left and is it even worth it when they left you so easily and

There’s a little kid hiding behind his fathers knees and he’s never had root beer and you watch him grow into this intense strange boy who doesn’t understand that his father isn’t coming home his father left him and god don’t you know how that feels and you watch him learn his way around a car and you remember the man who taught you who gave you a chance who listened when you said what was wrong and

He needs a job and you’re the only one who cares so you help, god, of course you help, you can’t let him or his mom lose what little they have left so you let him work for you under the table, he doesn’t need to but he demands it even though you paid off their debt as soon as he asked. It’s the money of those fuckers who abandoned you, anyway, and Ox needs it Ox and Maggie need it and

He’s everything to you he’s your son your brother your life and he’s fifteen and he’s your fucking tether, he keeps you human, and you think finally, finally you’re healing. You both had shit dads who dealt you shit cards but you’ve got each other and you don’t need anyone else and

Then they come back and it’s not for you. They come back and they don’t even speak to you.

But they speak to him. To Ox.

They need him. Just like they needed you when you were barely a teenager when your father leveled that town when he killed your mom when you had to become their witch because the pack needed it your Alpha needed it because Thomas-

But Ox chooses them, over and over. You try to make him understand that they’ll only use him and hurt him and he doesn’t care. He chooses them. The damned wolves.

Imagine the man you loved hated needed despised dies and his son makes every imaginable mistake and you follow him because he is your Alpha he needs you and you leave. You leave Ox behind and you hate yourself every day, for three years, you know how this feels you know exactly how this feels and it’s bitter in your throat because you hate him him Mark him for this choice you’ve just made and you understand and you hate it and it’s vicious and you can’t forgive him so how can you forgive yourself and

You come home and he’s not a boy anymore he’s not a kid but a man and he’s tall and strong and he’s the Alpha, somehow, and he doesn’t need you anymore.

But he forgives you. Easier than you’ve ever forgiven anyone in your life, he forgives you because he loves you and you love him and you came home.

[lovelywhiteroses]

z and Mc bonfire Christmas 🎄 trees just for entertainment purposes. (Mc has a rocky feeling from xmas and capitalism)

✨🌹Hm how interesting. I’ll be sure to make this for you dear Anon.🌹✨

Z never got the point of Christmas. All he knew it was apart of Christian beliefs. He was obviously not fond over Christianity, however he noticed you looked a bit worried. He knew that you weren’t much into believing in god, though some people persist on their beliefs, you tend to stray away from it. There were always some Christians also judge you and Z from afar, some of them encountered you and him and even try and ‘save you and him’ from ‘straying away from the path of god.’ Of course Z got angry at them even trying but you knew if people knew he was actually a real demon, there would be… consequences… thankfully you would convince them that some of them do that. Meanwhile some are actually decent. You always worried about what Z thought of the holiday. Though you weren’t strong on the belief of god, but you liked celebrating it. In fact you hoped they would feel the same feeling you get every year it comes around, but you’re too scared to ask. What if he gets angry? What if he won’t celebrate with you? All thought of something bad that would possibly happen. Z was and always was able to sense emotions. And when it’s from you he doesn’t seem to know what’s happening. That’s because his ability to sense the emotions doesn’t necessarily mean he knows exactly what’s going on through your head. He never truly understood human emotions. But with your help he gain only a bit of understanding. But in this case not so much. Hence why they sought to make you feel better. You would be back from work, you would be in your apartment when you noticed the box where you kept a small Christmas tree. You didn’t put it up yet due to thinking if you did Z would get the wrong impression on things. That’s when you felt a pair of hands on your face. “Guess who~” you chuckled a bit. “Hey Z.” You turn to him as he gave you his usual cocky smile. “I’ve noticed you’ve been down recently. And I know you don’t want me to burn stuff down, so I began to think-.” You laughed a bit. “Wow. The powerful demon can think.” You said with sarcasm, thankfully you taught him about how sarcasm works and he understands you mean your comment as a joke. “Hehe! Yeah. But anyways. I’ve thought!” He paused for somewhat of a dramatic effect. “How about a bonfire tonight? You know get rid of all those pesky sticks outside.” You thought for a moment and it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. “I guess you can call it a Christmas bonfire if you will.” You were caught off guard for a second. “Wait you knew about-.” Z frowned a bit. “Human, I’ve been around ever since humans walked. Also some sinners in hell talk about it. But what’s the problem?” You sigh and crossed your arms. “I guess I just.. thought since most of the reason for Christmas was about celebrating you know.. you would be against it..” it took Z a couple of seconds but it then all clicked. Everything now made sense as to why you were feeling so down lately. “Human.. is that why you looked so down recently? Cause you thought I wouldn’t wanna celebrate with you?” Looked at the floor and then you him and nod. Z felt glad you thought of his feelings but he never wanted you to worried about something you liked to do every year. Z may not like the fact that the holiday was made upon Christian beliefs but it doesn’t have to include praying to a god that hates them. He then hugged you trying to comfort you. Though he still doesn’t get human emotions he still tries to learn. “It doesn’t always have to be about Christian stuff. If anything, I’ve learned that we can just enjoy it regardless of those beliefs or not. Sorry if I made you worry though.” You could feel a rush of relief and joy from hearing that. You hugged them back glad you don’t have to worry anymore. Z could sense this and he smiled. “Now C’mon! Those branches aren’t going to burn themselves!” He said as you you then laughed at how excited he was just to burn some sticks and branches. Thankfully the fire wasn’t too big. After that you finally put up your little Christmas tree.

This year feel more magical somehow, more than ever before ♥️🖤

✨🌹Have a lovely Christmas dear anon. Sorry this took so long. I ran into a writers block. Thankfully I’ve gotten my motivation back.🌹✨

[bernardo1969]

On his final journey to the city of Jerusalem, the Gospel of Luke recounts how Jesus taught the Pharisees and teachers of the law of Moses one of the most important spiritual principles of the Kingdom of God, the mercy (compassion, kindness, gentleness) toward one's neighbor above masks and appearances, because as Jesus taught: "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" Luke 6:36. And it happened that an important Pharisee invited Jesus to eat at his house, perhaps this person was Nicodemus who had already spoken with Jesus at night about spiritual rebirth, and as this character realized that Jesus did not wash his hands, Jesus answered the other diners with these words: "You Pharisees clean the outside of cups and dishes. But inside you are full of greed and evil. You fools! Didn't the one who made the outside make the inside too? Give what is inside as a gift to the poor, and then everything will be clean for you" Luke 11:39-41. In this speech Jesus gave a total of 6 misfortunes to describe how those who sow error cannot inherit blessedness, that is, true happiness. And Jesus did this with the purpose to teach men to enter into the righteous life ("Do to others what you would have them do to you" Matthew 7:12), the life in the grace of God. The Gospel story ends by saying how, in response to this discourse of Jesus, the response was in many cases counterproductive because many of the Pharisees did not convert in response to the teachings of the divine teacher but began to question him and seek to make him fall into error.

[e-devotion]

I choose to be thankful

1 Thessalonians 5:18  NLT  

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 

That is one of the most important parts of life.  Being thankful is not only a choice but a way of life.  The way we look at things and people and situations ought to create more faith than fear, bring freedom instead of bondage, and insight more than blindness.

That is why I take a little time today to be thankful for a few things that mean the most to me.  Each of the things I share mean much to me, but there are many more things too.

I am thankful for my wife.  We have now spent more than 31 years together, fought battles together, enjoyed celebrations together, lived though some of the most difficult things together, experienced some of the greatest joys together.  Next Wednesday will be our 31st anniversary, and I am over the top thankful for Julie as she is a gift from God.

I am thankful for our church.  The Community Fellowship has been in existence for almost 18 years serving those who are hungry, hurting or homeless by meeting needs and telling them about Jesus.  That happens through “demonstrating the love of God to our community” and beyond.  This remains true today as it did way back in 2006.  I am thankful for this blessing.

I am thankful for the passion God has put in my heart.  Passion comes out in lots of ways.  You can see it as I talk about our kids and grand kids.  You can also learn from my God-given passion when I share about helping friends who are homeless or those battling addiction.  That passion also extends to the mission work I get to be part of in Cuba.  I am thankful for this important passion.

I am thankful that God gave me purpose, has refined that purpose in the last few years and continues to fuel the purpose He has given me.  And it is still pat of who I am and in everything I get to do.  I am thankful for the purpose of sharing Jesus and helping others know that each has been given potential from God.

Psalm 50:14  NLT  

Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God, and keep the vows you made to the Most High.

Being thankful is a sacrifice because it is part of our prayers and our praise.  Being thankful is also something that reminds us that God is the giver and I am blessed to be part of what He is doing.

I choose to be thankful.  Now, it is your turn.  What are you most thankful for?

Colossians 2:7  NLT  

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.

[sunsfade]

OH DRUNKEN GODS OF SLAUGHTER pinterest link 1. pinterest link 2. baldur's gate iii, fantasy universe.

(temporary) summary: istar works as durge, even if there are. some minor differences. in short, post mystra's ""death"" a few centuries back, talos wanted to take over her realm and even pretended, with an avatar, to be the god of wild magic. knowing no god would let him (considering the god of destruction/wind being in charge of magic isnt exactly a good idea), he decided to leave a little gift for her. he created a being from all the magic that was not constrained by the weave, and then sent it faaaar away so that the child would not be found until he needs them. that child being istar. bhaal, when choosing his bhaalspawns, did feel something was different about that one. she was prone to destruction, he felt it, and decided to claim her. he did what he usually does with bhaalspawns, but he. paid special attention to her. she was an interesting weapon, not yet honed but brimming with potential. and he decided she'd be his to wield.

like all bhaalspawns, she grew up with visions, then bloodlust. she brought a certain amount of chaos everywhere she went. despite being apparently human, she did stop to age at some point. she spent some decades with a tribe of elves in a forest named eryri, which she used in order to name herself pre-tadpole. they're the ones who taught her how to control her magic. humans destroyed and set fire to the tribe to steal some of their resources, and in return istar went. bonkers….. she went on a quest for revenge, and killed every person that ever had anything to do with the orders being given, which resulted in basically wiping out a kingdom from existence. (there are legends, now, about that) at that point, bhaal considered her ready and brought her home. slowly but surely, she climbed within the cult. not because she was motivated, but because making these ruthless choices was terribly easy. compared to orin, istar is much more. calculative. her way of killing is absolutely brutal and ruthless but there is always an amount of… choice, in it. she doesn't kill for the sake of killing. she kills with purpose. it is what orin despises about her (the whole thing about. bhaal doesn't care if you kill a king or a pauper. but istar does. because istar craves power. istar craves revenge. istar wants to be in a position where no one can ever bring her grief again) which is how she even got into plotting with gortash in the first place

but istar did bring something with her out of eryri… a small dragon, too young to be a real threat. it was her tether to humanity, in a way, which made it her biggest liability. orin took advantage of that, slaughtered the creature, and it gave her the leverage she needed to take down istar, sending her with a tadpole to moonrise towers. post waking up, istar is. a little bit feral. and i do mean that in every sense of the word, even in the way she acts or moves. even the way she looks bc orin sent her on her way after cutting off most of her hair (that istar kept very long in honor of her tribe's customs) and kressa's torture, which resulted in a certain amount of scars. magically healed, yes, but still visible. anyway. shes very much a wild dog trying to remember that biting barking and growling aren't the only tools she has. sometimes works, sometimes doesnt. during act 1, her answer to everything is using intimidation every step of the way ahdjndkd which is funny when u consider that. 1. shes a 5'2 human. and 2. she's a storm sorceress with a taste for just. using her nails teeth and fists whenever the need arise. and 3. she cant wield a sword or anything bigger than a dagger aghbjdnd hmmm what else? she very much is chaotic neutral, making choices either according to what is best for her or best for her allies. while she has manyyyyy flaws at least shes loyal ig.

important meta:

istar & her magic.

istar & talos.

istar's story is a story of grief.

an evil playthrough?

my canon concerning bhaalspawns.

if you're playing durge too, read this.

an overview of her bg3 verse.

istar after her ascension. (post-game option)

[theysaidhush]

Teaching your Sub!Fox!Yeonjun how to dom you!

We all now that foxes have a bad reputation. They’re sly.

Teaching your sly fox how to dom you was not very hard, he kinda had that dom vibe, it was just sleeping. When he asked you to teach him how to dom you, you were both in the middle of something important. You were riding him slowly, taking him deeply as you were stroking his ears and tugging on his hair. He let that out with a moan, panting heavily as he was trying to not cry from the pure pleasure he was feeling. Obviously you stopped your movement and he whined, trying to snap his hips into yours which earned him a tug on his tail - cuz yeah he can a brat sometimes. Later he asked you again and you were like "yeah I kinda wanna see what kind of dom you are" and huh, he’s a mean dom, but that’s a story for another day.

Teaching your lil fox how to dom you means that you’ll have to show him EVERYTHING. How to wrap his hand around your throat, how to make you gag on his dick and not feel bad afterwards, how to manhandle you to bend him to his will. You basically taught him how to turn you into the perfect sub/little mate. He was concerned and messed up few times. Whoops, his grip on your throat is too tight! Oh! did he hurt you while slamming his fat cock into your warm cunt? Ish, he’s tugging on your hair a bit too hard. You would plead - "Yeonjun, stop it you’ve already made me cum four times!", or "Too fast t-too fast !". But can you blame him? He’s just pussy drunk and despite getting a grab on the dom personality he’s still your needy boy who will dry hump your ass because you’re not paying attention to him. So once you gave him power over you ? He’s needy AND in charge.

Remember how I said that foxes are sly? Yeah. Plus we’re talking about Yeonjun. He would probably act clueless the two times you taught him how to dom you because he wanna keep the surprise but the third time? God you created a MONSTER. Honestly you should have expected it since he had always been a bratty sub but now? You flipped a switch and he only know how to dom you in the meanest way possible. Needy and subby fox no more, he’s Renard whose only purpose is to beat his own record of ‘how-many-time-can-i-make-her-cum-in-one-night’. Your new Dom!Yeonjun, with his tail wagging like one of a happy dog, groaning in your ear as he’s thrusting relentlessly in your pussy and only to lap at all your mixed juices afterwards. Dom!Yeonjun making you cum on his finger again and again, forbidding you from touching his fluffy ears for comfort cuz he made you cry and moan.

Yup you definitely created a monster.

[pastorsnotebook]

𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 "DOESN'T ALWAYS" 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗦 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗔 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡

"𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝘿𝙚𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨"

Passages that seem to support this teaching:

𝘙𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘴 8:28 "𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦."

One time, I preached with a Theme "Everything happens for a reason" using Romans 8:28 as a passage. But as I grew deeper spiritually in studying the bible passages I am using... I discovered that EVERYTHING "DOESN'T ALWAYS" HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

These are the five analization points that I used before but the Holy Spirit corrected me and taught me these truth:

𝙖. 𝙉𝙊 𝙀𝙓𝙀𝙈𝙋𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉: "𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨" – everything whether it is good or bad, yes, there's a certain reason. But not everything we put our mistake and failure's accountability to God.

There's no exemption to this. If we do mistakes and fail sometimes, remember that God doesn't make us and intend us to fail. We are the one who chose wrong decision because of our freewill and sometimes because of our emotional standards and not biblical standards. It is not God who is in charge why we chose wrongly... don't put God as accountable when we do mistakes. Sadly, many people tend to do bad decisions and let other be accountable for their personal decisions. Many call this as "pa-VICTIM" effect. They are the cause but do blame game if the results are bad.

Anyway, there's a reason for us to learn and gain knowledge from bad even worst experiences we've been through. Maybe that would be the reason how we would manage to keep us failing again.

Remember again... not "all things" God intended these failures to happen unto us. So not everything "God made it" happen for a reason.

𝙗. 𝙉𝙊 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙇𝙊𝙄𝙏𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉: “𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧” – this does not say all things happen for a reason – in context God is telling us that since the Spirit is interceding for us then no matter what happens He will turn it for our good so His divine purpose will not be thwarted.

𝙘. 𝙉𝙊 𝙀𝙓𝘾𝙐𝙎𝙀𝙎: “𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙙”–

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.” [“Loving God” = obedience to Him] that's what this word means. If we love God, we will be directed to do His will and keep us from sinning. This word is not an excuse and doesn't support the word "everything happens for a reason."

𝙙. 𝙉𝙊 𝙀𝙓𝘾𝙇𝙐𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉: “𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙”–

whom He foreknew, He predestined. Yes! To do good works according to Ephesians 2:10

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." This passage doesn't support "everything happens for a reason." But clearly states that if we are called, then we are created to be good and righteous in God's sight. These words in Romans 8:28 never meant to make us fail or to do mistakes then exclude ourselves as an accountable for what we did.

𝙚. 𝙉𝙊 𝙀𝙓𝙋𝙄𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉: “𝘼𝙘𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚” -

- this word stands for the perpetuation of His covenant. God not purposely makes us fail and then giving us rights to say "Everything Happens for a Purpose" God's promises doesn't expire, yes, no expiration to every individuals if only... Yes, if only we trust and obey to God's commandments. Most of God's promises have prerequisite of certain obedience and trust to Him for us not to tempt and fail but for us to test and succeed. Yes, God even gave answers before these testings, the bible itself we can found the life's greatest answers from the life's greatest questions.

Pondering question:

IF EVER, we truly believed using "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON" supported by Romans 8:28 error we would never:

a) Speak to the mountain because the mountain would be something God put there for some reason.

b) Bind and loose because whatever was before us would be within the framework of the will of God.

c) Resist the devil because everything we encounter would fall under the heading of “Everything” – even God using the devil to teach us something.

d) Take medicine and try to get well since the infirmity would be from God to teach us something.

Verses to take:

Psalm 37:23

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

To God be the glory!

#PastorsNotebook

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

10th January >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Tuesday, First Week in Ordinary Time 

(Liturgical Colour: Green)

First Reading Hebrews 2:5-12 The one who sanctifies and the ones who are sanctified are of the same stock.

God did not appoint angels to be rulers of the world to come, and that world is what we are talking about. Somewhere there is a passage that shows us this. It runs: What is man that you should spare a thought for him, the son of man that you should care for him? For a short while you made him lower than the angels; you crowned him with glory and splendour. You have put him in command of everything. Well then, if he has put him in command of everything, he has left nothing which is not under his command. At present, it is true, we are not able to see that everything has been put under his command, but we do see in Jesus one who was for a short while made lower than the angels and is now crowned with glory and splendour because he submitted to death; by God’s grace he had to experience death for all mankind. As it was his purpose to bring a great many of his sons into glory, it was appropriate that God, for whom everything exists and through whom everything exists, should make perfect, through suffering, the leader who would take them to their salvation. For the one who sanctifies, and the ones who are sanctified, are of the same stock; that is why he openly calls them brothers in the text: I shall announce your name to my brothers, praise you in full assembly.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 8:2,5-9

R/ You gave your Son power over the works of your hand.

How great is your name, O Lord our God, through all the earth! What is man that you should keep him in mind, mortal man that you care for him?

R/ You gave your Son power over the works of your hand.

Yet you have made him little less than a god; with glory and honour you crowned him, gave him power over the works of your hand, put all things under his feet.

R/ You gave your Son power over the works of your hand.

All of them, sheep and cattle, yes, even the savage beasts, birds of the air, and fish that make their way through the waters.

R/ You gave your Son power over the works of your hand.

Gospel Acclamation James 1:21

Alleluia, alleluia! Accept and submit to the word which has been planted in you and can save your souls. Alleluia!

Or: cf. 1 Thessalonians 2:13

Alleluia, alleluia! Accept God’s message for what it really is: God’s message, and not some human thinking. Alleluia!

Gospel Mark 1:21-28 Unlike the scribes, he taught them with authority.

Jesus and his disciples went as far as Capernaum, and as soon as the sabbath came he went to the synagogue and began to teach. And his teaching made a deep impression on them because, unlike the scribes, he taught them with authority. In their synagogue just then there was a man possessed by an unclean spirit and it shouted, ‘What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are: the Holy One of God.’ But Jesus said sharply, ‘Be quiet! Come out of him!’ And the unclean spirit threw the man into convulsions and with a loud cry went out of him. The people were so astonished that they started asking each other what it all meant. ‘Here is a teaching that is new’ they said ‘and with authority behind it: he gives orders even to unclean spirits and they obey him.’ And his reputation rapidly spread everywhere, through all the surrounding Galilean countryside.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.