#singing from the male’s perspective yeah that’s a big one

[fridayiminlovemp3]

i’m open to more ideas

[deepdreamnights]

Zone Defense (A Song About Continents)

Be "That Guy" at the party with a song that makes an incredibly niche argument for you!

I turned a list of the continental plates into a verse, even.

Lyrics and Prompt below the fold.

Prompt for Album Image: Twilight Sparkle's battle stage from street fighter 2, wide-angle shot, angled view, fisheye lens, animation background, up-angle view, two point perspective

Lyrics and Music Prompting:

[slow echoing start] [Catchy Hook] and the carribean too

[build] [long build] [arpeggio] [syncopated bass] [build] [drop]

[pre-verse] Oh yeah, yeah yeah, it is an eight planets and five dwarfs situation like how either fish don't exist or you are one

[build] [Catchy Hook] Zone. [drop]

[chorus] [Passionate Female Singer] The Continents are the tectonic plates the sole system that recapitulates once the data is scrapped and new measures are tapped if the results get changed then your method is flat Sev-er-al new small continents and sunken ones more than a few Yeah, Aotearoa's a contine-e-ent and the carribean is too!

[Catchy Hook] fish don't exist [funky breakdown] [drop]

[stern male scientist] [spoken word sample] "Wait." I hear you ask in a vague, sad fumbling at peer review. "What about Europe?" Henceforth, such arbitrary regions will be known as zones. We do not say zone enough.

[bridge] [sudden sample hit] eight planets, five dwarfs [break]

[hook] Zone.

[chorus] [Passionate Female Singer] The Continents are the tectonic plates the sole system that recapitulates once the data is scrapped and new measures are tappedthe if the results get changed then your method is flat

[bridge] [sudden sample hit] [break] Say It Zone. [tempo change] [solo]

[stern male scientist] [spoken word sample] I want you to imagine the economic boon. New editions of Trivial Persuit. A revitalized game show industry. Whole new fields of unexplored pedantry-based party smalltalk. Tourism. Imagine, how much better it would be, after a long, tiring oceanic flight, if the attendant cames over the speaker and said

[bell ring] [Passionate Female Singer] You're now entering the European Zone

[stern male scientist] [spoken word sample] Feels like the future, right?

[rapid Sprechgesang] North and South America plus the Carribean makes three. Panama, the Eurasian, Somali, Philippine Sea and the Agean's scattered bits Juan Fernandez, small and wet both words Easter also fits Indian, Arabian Antarctic, Easter, Scotia the Indo-Australian African, Juan de fuca so don't forget the cocos Those are the plates before ya and while the pacific's there we might call it Aotearoa

[chorus] [Passionate Female Singer] Sev-er-al new small continents and sunken ones more than a few Yeah, Aotearoa's a contine-e-ent and the carribean is too!

[bridge] Oh yeah, yeah yeah, it's an eight planets and five dwarfs situation

[stern male scientist] [spoken word sample] You're now entering the European Zone You're now entering the European You're now entering You're now You're now The Zone Feels Good Feels Right Say it Zone [big finish] [outro] [end]

-

Prompt for the Song: driving, spiraling techno-industrial music with hard rock influence. Operatic singing and sci-fi male narration samples.

Song composition is public domain, the lyrics, being human written, are not.

The Continents ARE the

This is the only categorization system that you could scrap the data from, make all new observations, and then reproduce again. You get a couple of small continents, a couple of underwater ones... It's a "8 planets and 5 dwarf planets" situation and a bonanza for the trivia game industry in one!

"But what about Europe!" I hear you shout in a vague attempt at peer review.

Henceforth, all arbitrary sociopolitical regions (like "Europe") will be designated as Zones.

We don't use the word zone enough. Think how much hearing "You are now entering the European Zone" come over the intercom after a long plane journey would greatly enhance the experience of international travel.

Go ahead, say it out loud. "Zone."

Feels good.

Feels right.

Zone.

[findingtheperfectcharacter]

Hm… Thinking about Penny from Dr. HORRIBLE’S Sing Along Blog- and the video The Problem With Penny… And The Post about how male characters are viewed in a Darwinian way (given more depth by the people who view a work then given in the text) and woman are viewed in a Watsonian way (the text is all there is and their inner life is never thought about.) and the Homeless part of the plot.

The tl;dr is Penny is distinct and important as a character by the way she interacts with things outside of this ego driven love triangle and has pretty fair motives about dating Hammer actually

Penny’s quest to help the Homeless is her Primary motivation, it’s the first thing we see her do that isn’t part of a memory or Billy’s fantasy. Caring Hands is her I Want song. And Billy’s interaction with this part of her life is… Not to give a shit. No literally, he’s so busy trying to get the Wonderflonium that he spends most of the conversation ignoring her trying to have an actual conversation with him about the subject, and in the short bit where he is listening he talks down to her, ‘you’re trying to help the homeless? Well that doesn’t matter because they’re a symptom of the disease that is Society (tm).’ And she’s like. ‘Cool cool, I’m all for revolution. Can you sign anyway? Oh cool, thanks. You seem distracted :/. bye.’

She pretty much admits in the laundromat scene that she didn’t actually insta fall in love with Captain Hammer, just thought he was hot In and went on a first date…

To a Soup Kitchen. Where the two of them interacted with the homeless, and that’s when she discovered his ‘hidden depths’ ‘he seemed kind of cheesy at first, but then I found out he was sweet.’ She likes him- not because he’s a big fuckable alpha male- because he’s nice enough to her and at least pretends to care about the thing she does.

Speaking of which- the next thing he does. He gives her the one thing she’s wanted this entire goddamn movie: That building to be turned into a Homeless shelter.He’s a guy who’s nice to her, pretends to share her interests and helps her achieve her goals… As an audience we know that Hammer’s a douchebag, but from her perspective at this point it makes total sense to like him.

We don’t get a full backstory for Penny yeah, but Penny’s song actually does give us a why. ‘Grief replaced with Pity/for a city barely coping/dreams are easy to achieve/if hope is all I’m hoping to be/anytime you hurt there’s one who has it worse around.’ While going through her shit and believing that the world was cruel and she’d never find love or happiness, she looked around and noticed that there were people deeply suffering and realized- even if things are bad for her- she could still be a source of happiness and a beacon of hope for others in the world who are suffering.

Meanwhile the plot continues to show these two jackasses using the suffering of others as a way to get laid. Like Hammer doesn’t give a shit about the homeless, but is willing to help them to get in Penny’s pants and spite Billy. Billy doesn’t give a shit, he stops the ceremony to give them the shelter to do some selfish vengeance ‘ohhh look Hammer’s disguise as a nice guy is slipping. Look at your hero now’ he says while shooting his death ray gun around. And like… This was a thing Penny cared about. And he ruined it for his ego. Despite his lofty claims of revolution he has no actual goal beyond having the biggest dick in the room.

I’d actually argue that Penny is an extremely important character in this story, because she was the only person who actually gave a shit about the world around her. The only person who sought to create actual change. And was killed by a man who screamed revolution while holding no philosophy.

[missluckycharms]

You, Me and Harry make three. Part One.

Summary: Joey, Izzy and Harry are in a poly relationship. They're head over heels for one another and they can't seem to keep their hands off each another, even when they really need to.

Harry is the Harry Styles, the man who is known for being so open and lovable. He's nervous to let the world see his girls, what would his fans think If he was dating two girls at the same time? And they all shared the one bed and home? He doesn't want to know, he wants them all to himself.

This small story follows the three and their rendezvous together behind the scenes.

Masterlist.

Warnings: Switch!Harry, Mommy kink, slight Daddy kink, FxFxM threesome, fingering, oral sex f+m receiving, Male + Female penetrative sex, Female + Female sex, spanking, choking, hair pulling, sneaking around (?) masturbation and mentions of it, degradation kink, praise kink, dirty talking, anal play, biting, polyamorous relationship.

Warnings apply to both first and second part!

Word count: 3.6k words.

A/N: There will be a part two, keep your eyes out for it. I also envision the women with Blonde and Brown hair, but you can apply any hair colour you want to this scenario, I just wanted to give a description to people who find it hard to imagine people :)

—

Adrenaline.

It's rushing through Harry's veins as he finishes his last concert of his first ever world tour. His body covered in sweat from singing Kiwi and total of three times and his suit jacket is for a fact dripping from all the dancing he did, his body isn't exhausted, no, it's hyped up and he could go out and perform again if he could.

It's a bittersweet moment ending the tour he thinks, on one hand he has more time to himself, more time for friends and family but on the other hand he doesn't get to do what he loves every night for at least another year, which is perform for thousands of people.

The crew is cheering and slapping him on the back as he walks off, the band following him as they all congratulate one another on completing the whole tour. There's tears, tight hugs and even a champagne bottle popped by Mitch, for someone who seems emotionless he was the most emotional one amongst them all. He basically cried into his champagne flute.

Harry pulls himself away from the crew celebration after an hour or two, his phone buzzing in his back pocket non stop as he tried to converse and have a fair well party with his whole crew — he knew exactly who was texting him, and they won't be happy he isn't responding like he usually does.

His phone is filled with messages, some from Joey and some from Izzy and a few more in the group chat they all have together. Harry is scrolling through them all as he sits in the back of the car on the way to their hotel room. He lets out a shaky breath when he sees two photos — one of Izzy wearing a bright pink lingerie set, her dark hair all around her while Joey wears a dark cobalt blue set, her platinum blonde hair vibrant against the lace.

Izzy is laying down as Joey looks at the camera between her legs, the picture being from Izzy's perspective while the second photo is similar, but this time Izzy's panties are off and Joey's head is nuzzled into her pussy.

If anyone knew what Harry Styles was hiding behind the scenes they would be shocked, he's hiding two beautiful women who are in plain sight for all his fans to see, the pair helping out the crew and makeup department on tours while only the three of them know what they do behind closed doors. It's somewhat thrilling to have this secret, it's spurs them on more and even makes them act out and fuck one another in public places, such as Harry's dressing room or even his tour bus when all the rest of the band is asleep — they all seem to get off on their little dirty secret.

Harry never wanted to hide his girls, he feels guilty for doing so. But to protect them and himself from the hate and backlash they would get for this, he settled on keeping them himself only. Sure, there's times where they'd want to go to a restaurant, hold hands all together and feed one another dessert like couple do, but they have to settle on a professional looking dinner, each spread around the table with a large gap between them all as they try and keep their hands away from one another, cameras flashing outside and update accounts flashing the images labelling Harry to be at a business dinner.

It does take a toll on them, some nights they all cry together and hold one another when one of them has to leave and see family, they all aren't ready to tell their families so when one leaves it's like something is ripped from them, it's like they're missing a piece of themselves. Harry is the one who's away a lot, giving the media to calm down on the speculations that Harry is dating one of them — it's mainly always Joey because she's blonde and seen as "Harry's type" because of that, both of his girls are his type.

They take small vacations together, the three of them locked away in a villa in Italy or even in Spain, their own private space to lounge by the pool together or even show affection to one another more openly around the foreign country — but then cameras show up snd Harry is immediately hurrying the girls inside as he pays off the paparazzi to not leak the photos.

It's tiring, they're all exhausted from hiding, but it's what they have to do.

Harry chuckles darkly as he looks at the photos, his hand sliding down to palm himself through his suit pants as he types out a message with one hand, a lazy smile on his face as the driver doesn't suspect a thing.

Harry: told you both to wait, you know what happens when you disobey me, my girls.

It's not long after he sent the message that he's parked outside the hotel, the driver opening his door as a security guard walks out and helps Harry into the hotel under all the preying eyes of fans and paparazzis who seem to love blinding him every second with their flashes and asking him ridiculous personal questions that you wouldn't even ask someone who is on trial.

His security guard walks him as far as the elevator, Harry saying he can do the rest by himself — but in reality he didn't want anyone but him to hear the sweet little moans that are probably coming from his suite right now.

"Couldn't even wait two hours for Daddy, huh?" He says deeply walking into the room, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up as the two girls both look at him on the bed, Izzy nearly passing out from pleasure as Joey smiles evilly from where she's sat between Izzy's legs.

Izzy makes grabby hands at Harry which he immediately melts at the sight, she's the more submissive one in the relationship, leaving Harry and Joey to be the more dominant ones, and when Harry is submissive it's usually Joey fucking Izzy before him as he watches.

"Feeling good pup?" He asks Izzy brushing a strand of her hair from her face, her eyes glazed over and mouth slight parted as Joey teases her, sucking and nipping at her clit as Harry rests beside them both.

"Yes Daddy" Izzy says softly, licking the thumb that Harry brushes over her bottom lip, he slowly pushes it into her mouth as she takes it in with a small whine and suckling noises are heard from her pretty mouth.

"That's a good girl. You enjoying yourself down there?" He asks Joey more sternly, she loves when he's stern with her, while Izzy loves it when he dotes on her.

"Mmh yeah, such a pretty tasting pussy" she teases him, keeping her eyes on his as she licks a big stripe up Izzy's centre, Harry's cock twitching in his pants at the sight as Izzy keeps sucking on his thumb.

"Hope you've had your fun puppies, because you both know how Daddy hates it when you disobey him" he says with a small laugh, the two girls looking at him as he removes himself from the bed, standing tall as he strips down to his boxers.

"C'mere my girls, wanna feel both of you suck my cock" he says palming himself as he watches Izzy cum on Joey's tongue before they both jump off the bed and into their knees.

"I'm only obeying because tonight is your night, prepare for you to lose all control tomorrow, Daddy" Joey says, Harry already knowing she means what she says as he smiles at her.

"I'll look forward to it Jo, darling" is all he says as he runs both of his hands through each of their hairs, one hand on Joey's head with her hair wrapped around his arm, as the other has Izzy's hair wrapped around it, guiding them both to his clothed cock.

"Take me out, go on, know you both missed Daddy's cock" he moans out when they both palm him through his underwear, their hands immediately pulling down his boxers as he kicks them off, standing tall as both girls look up at him innocently through their eyelashes.

They both flatten their tongues and run them up either side of his cock, Harry immediately tightening his grip on their hairs and throwing is head back a little as he grunts under his breathe at the feeling. They both suck the head of his cock, their tongues in each other's mouths a little as they dance along the slit collecting his pre cum as he nearly buckles under the feeling and view he has of his girls.

"That's it, suck Daddy's cock" he breaths out through moans, his eyes fighting to stay open so he can watch every move his girls make.

The room is filled with heavy grunts and moans, small whines and sucking sounds from them all, Harry throwing his head back as he curses loudly into the air, Joey and Izzy working on his cock fast and messily just how he likes it. He's nearly scent into a frenzy when Izzy focus's on his head and pumps the rest in her hand while Joey sucks his balls into her mouth, dribbling and moaning around them which vibrates through Harry's body sending shivers all over and erupting goosebumps on his skin.

"Need to fuck you both now, onto the bed" he says sternly, taking their heads away as they both whine and try to get back onto him. Gentle slaps to their cheeks cause both girls to scurry over onto the bed, kneeling down and watching as Harry rests onto the bed, back against the head board as he begins to stroke himself.

"Izzy, do you wanna ride Daddy first? Yeah?" He asks and he chuckles lighty when Izzy nods in excitement, crawling onto his lap as he welcomes her into his embrace.

"Joey, sit on my face, gonna eat that pretty cunt of yours while I fuck our darling little Izzy" Joey smiles darkly at this, both of them looking at Izzy who's smiling cheekily against Harry's chest, her petite frame lost in his broad one.

Harry lays completely on his back, Joey coming to sit down on his face, as Izzy teases herself with the head of his cock. Joey faces Izzy, their mouths immediately catching in a sloppy kiss as Harry helps Izzy slide himself into her. She doesn't move, she grinds down a little as Joey's tongue explores her mouth, her tattoo hand holding the petite girls face as Harry holds onto Joey's plush thighs, his face nearly being smothered but he loves it — he wants to be smothered by her thighs always.

"Look at you Izzy baby, taking me all, such a good girl for me" Harry says lowly, looking at Izzy from between Joey's legs as Izzy begins to move, Harry immediately grabbing Joey's thighs and sitting her flush onto his face, his nose resting on her tightest hole as his tongue flicks and sucks at her pussy.

"Ride Daddy's cock Iz, fuck yourself until you cum like a good girl" Joey whispers to Izzy, her hand holding the girl by the jaw as she speaks to her, their lips inches apart as Izzy falls apart on Harry, the feeling sending her into oblivion as she bounces harder and faster, erupting guttural moans from Harry.

"Is he making you feel good Jo?" Izzy asks, her voice a slight tremble as she moans loudly watching as Joey grinds herself down onto Harry's tongue with force.

"Yeah, but you're making him feel so much better baby, hear him? Hear him moan into my pussy because of the work you're doing?" Joey asks as Izzy smiles lazily at her, her words making her go faster and faster on Harry's cock which ends in him meeting her bounces with thrusts of his own.

"That's it, fuck her Daddy, fuck her so good" Joey moans out loudly, grabbing Izzy before she crashes down onto Harry, holding the girl in her arms as Harry fucks up into her with all his strength.

"Fuck, yes right there Daddy" Joey moans out, Harry fucking his tongue into her while he fucks Izzy hard, the two girls holding onto one another as Harry pleases them both.

It's not long before they both cum with screams of his name and a mixture of Daddy between them all, Joey being the loudest as Izzy is barely able to speak or keep her eyes open over how fucked she is.

"Feeling okay puppy?" Harry asks when Izzy is laid out on his chest, his cock slipped out of her as she comes down from her high, Joey beside him as they both cradle Izzy and help her calm down.

"M'okay, just tired Daddy" she slurs out, the two helping her lay down onto the bed, Joey laying beside her as Harry positions himself on top of a smiling Joey.

Izzy turns her head to watch the two, Harry immediately bending down to kiss her softly as Joey kisses Harry's jawline and runs her hands over his bare chest lightly, her fingers playing with his dangling necklaces as her legs wrap around his waist, ankles locking behind him.

"My two pretty girls, all fucked out" Harry whispers as Joey pushes her hips up to him, signalling she's ready as he pecks Izzy's face before pulling away and focusing back down on Joey.

"Eager little thing aren't you? Such a slut for Daddy" he says to her, their lips inches apart as Izzy gasps at his language, Joey smirking and enjoying every last word that drips from his mouth towards her.

"You're also a slut for me Daddy, don't lie" she fires back, Harry shaking his head as he lines himself up with her pussy.

"Right now, you're my little slut, take it all for me, yeah?" He says kissing her chest as he pushes himself in, her moans immediately filling the room as Izzy runs her fingers over the lace bralette on Joey's skin, her head right next hers as they both look up at Harry.

"Come on Daddy, fuck me like a whore" Joey whines out as Harry begins to pound into her harshly, his balls hitting her ass as she sets a fast pace that has Joey's eyes rolling into the back of her head.

"You're going to hard Daddy, gonna hurt Jo" Izzy says nearly crying, Harry immediately bringing a hand to her face and cradling it as the other cradles the back of Joey's pulling her hair lightly.

"She likes it hard baby, she likes Daddy to wreck her pussy and call her his little slut" he says softly and calmly to Izzy who pouts before pecking his lips.

"Harder Daddy, please" Joey moans out, Harry immediately thrusting faster and faster as he holds both of his girls in his arms, Joey's legs wrapped around him as Izzy pecks his bicep every now and then with small giggles.

"Yeah? Want it harder, does my little slut want it harder? Does she want me to fucking wreck her and make her unable to walk for days?" He asks sinisterly as Joey babbles and moans under him, her words slurred and her eyes leaking tears at the intense pleasure she's feeling.

"Wreck my pussy Daddy, fucking ruin me, yes!" She screams out when Harry hits her spot over and over again, Izzy's small fingers now rubbing circles over her clit as the two of them coax her towards an orgasm, which hits her hard and fast.

"C'mere, wanna kiss you both before I cum" he moans out, his hips slowly down as his two girls push their heads together so Harry can bend down and take both of their mouths at the same time, their tongues everywhere as they all moan and grab onto one another.

"Come on Daddy, cum for us" they both moan out, looking up as Harry kneels on the bed over the two of them, their hands on their boobs pushing them up as he strokes himself fast, his eyes rolling back and his body covered in sweat.

"Gonna look so pretty painted in my cum, my two pretty babies all fucked out beneath me" he moans out, their tongues out flat as he finally cums, spirts and ropes of his cum coat their chests and some splashes up onto their tongues as they swallow it greedily, their fingers rubbing through his cum painting them more as Harry watches in awe, completely spent.

"I love you both, so much" he says smiling at them, their faces glowing and their own smiles on their faces as they look at him like he's the best thing in their worlds — which he is.

"We love you too H, right Iz?" Joey asks Izzy who's trying to fight off sleep, her small nod and smile is enough for Harry as he coos over how cute she looks, her cheeks blushing at his complements as Joey kisses her face all over making her giggle out, Harry kissing Joey's as they all attack one another with kisses gently with laughs in between.

"Think it's time for a bath, huh?" Joey laughs out as Harry agrees, Izzy laughing also as they both lay next to one another covered in Harry's release.

"Don't move, I'll be back" Harry says, the pair of girls whistling and cheering him on as he runs to the bathroom butt ass naked, his laugh loud as he wets two wash cloths with warm water.

"Are you two ever gonna not laugh at my ass?" He asks kneeling over them again, one hand clutching a cloth and washing Izzy while the other washes Joey and gets rid of his cum from their skin.

"It's funny! It's so soft and squishy looking when it jiggles!" Izzy laughs out, Joey beside her nearly snorting as she laughs along, Harry laughing and shaking his head as he throws the cloths into a laundry bin.

"You have a cute butt Mr Styles" Joey says kissing his nose as he flops his body down onto them, one of their legs resting on his waist as he rests his head between their breasts, both of their fingers running through his hair.

"We can't stay like this" Joey is the first to speak up in a few minutes, sleep nearly taking over them all before she realises they need to clean up and get ready for bed — Izzy needs to do her skincare routine while Harry needs to drink his nightly cup of tea.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Come on, bath time" Harry groans, grabbing his boxers and sliding them back on to avoid anymore comments on his bare ass, the two girls avoid eye contact with him as they bite back their laughs looking at one another.

"I can hear you both laughing!"

"We aren't laughing!"

"Yes you are!"

"Nope!"

The three of them have been dating for almost a year now, everyday bringing something new but their love for one another grows by the second. Harry cherishes small moments with them, heck, he cherishes all moments with them. When they step outside together Harry addresses them as part of his crew to not raise any suspicion. But all he wants to do is scream at the top of his lungs that these two beautiful women are his girlfriends.

Just as Harry is filling the bath, adding Izzy's favourite bath bomb and setting out Joey's favourite body wash for her, a shout and a hard knocking is heard from behind the front door to the suite, causing the two girls laughs and conversation to stop.

They look at him as he holds up a finger to his lips, shushing them both as they nod watching as he heads for the door. He opens it slowly, only revealing his head. Jeff stands outside, his hand running through his hair as he jumps when Harry opens the door.

"There's fans outside, they won't leave until you come out. Please just walk out and show your face or something" Jeff says nearly passing out with anxiety, his hands shaking from how nervous he was being bombarded with the fans who are lined up outside the hotel at nearly midnight.

"Okay, I'll be down in a few" Harry sighs, knowing guilt will eat him alive if he doesn't see his fans, but he'll also feel guilty letting the girls bathe alone and be without him for awhile again.

"We heard, go down to them. We'll have a bath and you" Joey says walking over to Harry, Izzy beside her as they hold hands, Izzy shorter than the two as she looks at them softly. "Can bring us all up some wine when you're coming back up, sound good?" Joey finishes as Harry smiles looking at them both.

"Yes Ma'am's"

[whatiwillsay]

taylor isn’t stupid

taylor swift is famous for the easter eggs, hidden codes, and secret symbology she leaves for fans, giving them clues as to who her songs are about (or supposed to be about), when new music or content is coming, and other insights into her life and what her art represents.

she posted red shoes on her 22nd birthday in 2011 as a clue to let people know the title of her next album - red:

she posted a picture of herself playing scrabble in the fall of 2018 as a clue that the count down to her new single would start on national scrabble day six months later:

so this brings us to the lover era

taylor hid so many clues in this era that she was not straight and we know taylor hides clues because of examples like the ones i provided.  she’s maniacal and unhinged but it is 100% what she does.

the first big thing is she released her single me! on LESBIAN VISIBILITY DAY:

i don’t even think taylor is a lesbian 😭i think she’s some brand of bisexual but this still feels like a signal that she isn’t straight.  we know taylor knows about which national days are what because she keeps up with it all enough to easter egg national scrabble day plus this is her big “lgbt ally era” (🙄) so you would think she would be keeping up with the days of awareness for members of the lgbt community.

and whether you think taylor was trying to come out that way or not, a lot of the internet did, and they went and wrote articles about it (lots of articles) (more on that later).

then there was the bi flag colored “proud” bracelet she pictured on her wrist and posted to ig:

turns out a fan made this for her because they were bi and proud about it but i don’t understand why she pictured that bracelet, she didn’t have to, she could have turned it so you couldn’t see the word proud.  regardless more articles got written about how people thought taylor was coming out as not straight.

then there was the straightest gayest clusterfuck that was the yntcd music video in which taylor basically made herself the center of a gay pride riot in a gay trailer part.  in the music video she represented all the gay pride flags and she posed with two herself:

the bi pride flag (yeah some people say there’s green at the top of her hair, i don’t care the colors are there):

and the pansexual pride flag:

both these pride flags were not represented anywhere else in the music video - just those scenes with taylor.

this prompted more people to wonder if taylor came out

it also prompted a lot of people to accuse taylor of queerbaiting, appropriating and infringing on gay culture, and overstepping her bounds as an ally.  all responses to yntcd were loud 

are you noticing a pattern? the lover era was just: taylor does something gay.  people write articles about how they think she just came out/otherwise comment on her sexuality.

now you know taylor, who is obsessed with the media’s perception of her would have known about this.  you know her publicist would have been duty bound to let her know, “hey taylor, all this gay stuff you’re doing? it’s making people speculate that you’re gay.”

and you would think that maybe if taylor didn’t like or appreciate this speculation around her she would have toned down the gay for her next project.  instead she aired miss americana in which she listed gay pride as one of the things that made her, her.

as if that weren’t enough the next album she dropped was extraordinarily gay:

in folklore you have betty in which taylor sings about wanting to kiss a girl and yeah maybe it’s “from a male perspective” but 1. that’s a gay thing to do anyway and 2. the character that is the supposed male is named after an irl girl.  we also get seven in which taylor sings to a childhood love who is a girl and she says they’ll have to hide in the closet.  taylor isn’t stupid.  she knows what being “in the closet” means.  she is a writer and a brilliant one at that.  she could have said anything- hide in the corner, hide in the cabinet, she very specifically chose the phrase that means to hide the truth about your sexuality.

and lest we forget about illicit affairs in which taylor sings to a lover who is cheating on a man with her.

and that’s just the explicit stuff, the entire album is laced with queer themes and coding other than just those songs.

many people wrote about and commented on how gay folklore was.

so the next thing taylor does?  drops another super gay album including another love song canonically about a woman.

so antis, take note.  taylor is not stupid.  she doesn’t mind the speculation about her sexuality.  i’m not saying she’s for sure gay.  but if she’s not she absolutely is leaning into stirring on speculation anyway.  and tbh if she’s ok with baiting this heavily and she’s not gay she might just be a terrible person? so reconsider your hetlor stance because a straight taylor = a baiting and unhinged taylor.  so you don’t need to keep policing gaylors and telling them not to speculate about taylor’s sexuality.  she is signalling to us that she is not straight which she 100% does not have to do.  no one made her pose with the pan flag,  no one made her write seven, no one made her include gay pride in a list of traits that define her in a documentary that she produced.  this is purposeful on her part.  it doesn’t mean she’s for sure gay but it does mean she wants people to wonder if she’s not straight.

[egyptsblackrose]

Dancing with Strangers

Ok here’s part 2 I guess, this is a bit longer than the first one, I was listening to the playlist again and kinda got into the zone. This chapter is where things get a little hotter but theres no sexy time still...I don’t know do you guys want that? Do you want more plot? I don’t know how long I wanna make this story guess I’ll leave it up to you guys so let me know what you think. Also the image included is one I drew digitally from a template found on Pinterest, if you repost or use it please give just mention me :)

Warnings: swearing in this one, very suggestive behaviour and language, nothing to spicy

Like to Part 1 here-https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/648370506842701824/dancing-with-strangers-ok-so-theres-a-playlist

Part 2-

You were grinning from ear to ear, a gentle happy buzz fizzing under your skin as you entered the heat of the club your friends insisted was the best in town. Been an exchange student in a very different country like Japan could have been a scary experience for anyone, but you had actually spend some of your young life living in Hiroshima and made life long friends, 2 of which were currently pulling on your hands to lead you to the bar as they laughed loudly. Japanese was your second language, one you adored and had kept practicing through the years, and when the chance came to study at the same uni as your best friends for your final year, you couldn’t buy the plane ticket fast enough!

“Y/N! What are you drinking?!” Miku shouted to you over the music, Sakura already flirting with the barman.

“Same as before, just a vodka and coke please Mi-Mi.” She nodded and turned to Sakura, yelling at her to order the drinks already. You couldn’t help but smile and shake your head at your friends antics. They never seemed to change, no matter how many years passed.

Taking a look around the club, you was somewhat relieved that the crowd on the dance floor wasn’t too crazy. You could hold your liquor pretty well, hence why you weren’t as effected as the others in your group, and you didn’t want to loose people in the crowd.

A sudden shiver took over your body, heat stroking your skin like a touch, trailing over your form. Not so surprising, people were often surprised to see a foreigner in the clubs, so you brushed it off. Taking the drink Miku had bought you for her round, your group cheered and took a drink. As “Such a Whore” finished, you and your friends cheered as “Sexy chick” began, quickly finishing your drinks and heading to the dance floor.

———

Blue and black eyes roamed the foreign beauty with no attempt at hiding their interest. She was stunning; her lush hair shimmering in the flashing lights and flowing with every move she made, dressed in something skin tight and pretty to show off her curves but not too revealing and flashy, make-up made to look natural and only flatter her already pretty features. Her body rolled in controlled rhythms to match the beat, her feet shuffling. God she was a sight for sore eyes.

Her face lit up as she and the group surrounding her recognised the beginning of “Lights down low”. Then the real show began. It was like she rehearsed the dance before, singing along to the sinful words. Gojo licked his bottom lip slowly, his blue eyes glued to the way she threw her head back and grinned cheekily at no one. Kakashi couldn’t stop staring at how her hips snapped and thrust like she was acting out the song from both male and female perspectives, his hand tightening dangerously on the glass bottle now finished in his hand. Images of possibilities filled their minds.

“Damn,” Gojo sighed almost to himself.

Kakashi nodded in agreement anyway. “Please tell me you don’t want her for yourself.”

Gojo grin was devilish. “Now where’s the fun in that?” He chuckled, passing his brother another beer he’d just bought, sipping as the foreign beauty dancing like a damn belly dancer to “Culo”. “Do you wanna try make the first move this time?”

The other white haired male shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to risk loosing this one.” Gojo patted his back good natured lay. He was proud of how far his best friend had come in his confidence and prowess, but he knew he had a way to go yet.

“I know what you mean though pal, what a catch.” His blue eyes narrowed at some men clearly eye-fucking you. “I’m gonna make our play before one of those wolves takes a bite.” Kakashi levelled the group was a fierce glare of his own, nodding in approval. This was their hunting ground after all, others had to wait their turn and take the scraps.

Handing his half empty bottle to his still glaring friend, Gojo gracefully weaved through the crowd, gently easing past the many women trying to dance with him. He was determined, his goal set, eyes locked on you.

Your friends span you, making you laugh, but you paused for a second to grin as “Promiscuous” opened up. What you hadn’t expected was a very hot, very pleasant voice to gently sing the beginning “How you doing young lady,” into your ear.

Surprised, you turned only to pause as the most amazing blue eyes you’d ever seen pierced through your gaze and stared right at your soul. Your cheeks heated as the man grinned, pleased at your staring and continued his singing. Blinking to clear your mind from the surprise and shock that a damn MODEL was hitting on you, you began singing too.

“You expect me to just let you hit it, but will you still respect me if you get it.” Your tone held a warning in there somewhere, wether he picked up on it over the volume was another matter. The white haired beauty before you laughed cheerfully, smoothly taking your hand and spinning you to face away from him, before pulling you back so you were pressed up to him.

“I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent.” He teased, hands squeezing your hips. You didn’t even pause, singing the reply but focused more on moving your body to the beat, and into his. “Promiscuous girl, your teasing me. You know what I want, and I got what you need.” He growled in your ear, causing your spine and insides to shudder in delight. You tilted your head back and laughed, only hitting his chest. God this guys tall.

You dipped to the floor and brought yourself up elegantly against him, now facing the dazzling stranger with a teasing grin of your own. “I’m a big girl I can handle myself, but if I get lonely imma need your help. Pay attention to me, I don’t talk for my health.”

The male’s grin turned hungry, his large hands dragging up the side of your body from your hip, tracing your collarbone, before wrapping his hand around your throat. There was no pressure, he just rested his big hand there, engulfing your neck easily, making you look at him as he bit his lip. “The names Gojo Satoru, and you beautiful, can call me Sensei.”

“My names L/N Y/N, not beautiful, flattery only gets you so far...onii-san.” You smirked back as the song changed to “Where have you been”.

Gojo smiled genuinely, letting out a long hum of amusement. “Then let me start by buying you a drink beautiful, I left my brother all alone at the bar just to try talk to you.”

Laughing, you raised a brow. “Talk? Yeah right. I’m sorry but I’m out with my friends, and I don’t want to leave them, I’m the most sober one after all-”

“Of course she’ll have a drink!” Miku all but screamed excitedly. You turned to her with a frown, opening your mouth to refuse, but she grabbed your arm and whispered loudly in your ear. “He’s Gojo Satoru, and his friend is Kakashi Hatake! They’re like small time celebs around here, they’re both hot as fuck and close. Like REALLY close, they only ever take a girl home who they both want, they know what the fuck they're doing too and they’re policemen! Trust me, go with them and thank me later! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Miku all but pushed you into Gojo waiting arms, the male chuckling charmingly at the scene. You watched as your group of friends gave you thumbs up and shooed you away, Sakura and Miku blowing you kisses and winks. “What the?”

“So, what can I get you beautiful?” Gojo purred in your ear to distract you, his arm wrapping comfortably around your shoulders and leading you back to Kakashi who had ordered another drink, and was straightening out his shirt and hair out of nervousness. “Don’t worry, just one drink, anything you want and if your not having fun by the end of it, then I’ll escort you back to your friends myself.”

You bit your lip, about to glance back at your friends to check on them, when another handsome white haired male gently smiled at you, with stunning black eyes, an adorable beauty mark on his chin, a dangerous scar over one eye and a perfect jawline. “One drink wont hurt then, I guess.” You replied, almost shyly as you stood between both men, leaning against the bar.

One drink turned into four, and they were not drunk quick ether. You had lost track of time and songs playing as Gojo and Kakashi bantered easily, always keeping you involved and centre of attention. You were beyond grateful that you could hold your liqueur and hadn’t being going crazy like your friends, it made it easy to follow along with the conversation. You were quick to pitch in effortlessly with cheeky and teasing remarks that had the 2 men both in stitches with laughter, and enamoured with you all at once. Most women were happy to sit and giggle, focus on looking pretty and flirt with suggestive touching, not really focus on what they were saying. You were intelligent, modest and sweet with undertones of naughty delight. It excited both men more than anything had in a while.

When a more suggestive song came through the speakers, Gojo sent Kakashi a discrete look, both leading you to the dance floor after your drinks were finished. Once in their favourite spot, their stage was set to begin the best part of the hunt. This part was more than just seduction, this was about using the music, their words, bodies and heat to turn yours on to the max, until you couldn’t take it anymore. And their favourite spot held just enough cover and darkness to keep all sinful acts a secret.

You inhaled sharply as Gojo’s large hands spread over the front of your thighs, pulling firmly so your back and body were pressed into him, while Kakashi’s rough hands gripped your waist, one of his legs pressing between your own. The two moved in synch perfectly like a well oiled machine, Gojo rolling his body into yours as his feet shuffled. The roll forward would drive you into Kakashi, and more importantly your core onto his firm muscular thigh. The male in front of you would gently shuffle and thrust forward as well, the action meaning there was absolutely no space between you and their hot hard bodies. Their hands would guide and encourage your own dancing, focusing on your hips and slow movements that was driving them just as wild.

You felt like you were melting from the inside out, there was a craving for more deep within you, and it was burning hotter the more they teased. Fingers would lightly graze your breasts and a insincere “sorry” would be breathed into your ear through a smirk, lips would brush your neck, hands would squeeze and tighten their grips at random intervals, keeping you tense and senses focused on them and them alone.

Only when you were a dazed, panting mess did Gojo deem you wooed enough, and Kakashi insisted on getting you another drink. At some point, Gojo had picked you up by your hips as Kakashi had pulled up a bar stool for you, easing it under you. The action was so quick and effortless for both men you couldn’t help but blush, especially as Kakashi kept a hand gently resting on the small of your back, drawing soothing circles there. Gojo’s hand was rested on your thigh as well, like it was nothing, and smirked at you now not hanging to look up so much to meet their eyes.

You stuck your tongue out at him in response. “Careful beautiful, I might just take that tongue if you don’t watch out.” He growled hotly into your ear. Holy-

“I think she’d like that Sato.” Kakashi grinned, groaning the words into your ear. You’d noticed how he’d relaxed more and more as the night went on, becoming a little bolder with you when he saw you weren’t pushing him away or favouring Gojo. The touches were turning less and less innocent or ‘accidental’, and the way they looked at you... Gojo had no shame, staring hungrily at each and every curve, licking his lips hungrily as his hands would skim the line between teasing and inappropriate, working slowly to drive you crazy. His blue eyes drank in every hitch in breath, every shudder, his own patience thinning as he watched your perfect teeth graze your wet lips. Kakashi had a different approach, he wanted the eye contact, he want you to look into his eyes and see he wanted you. “She’s panting, poor thing.”

You hadn’t noticed how your chest was rising and falling rapidly, too busy trying to hide the fact of how turned on you were caught between these gorgeous men. “Your right brother, her thighs are clenching too. What images are forming in that naughty mind of yours beautiful? Care to share? We’d be happy to make them reality, wouldn’t we Hatake?”

The most sinful, hungry groan rumbled through your ear in response as Kakashi stood forward and shielded your body from view of everyone else in the club, sneakily easing a hand up your thigh. Up and up and- you gasped, the single finger making you jump and let out a whimper. “God yes, I want her to make more of those sounds Sato.

“I’ve already called a taxi.” Gojo said lowly, pushing his body into your side so you could feel every hard line and ridge of his toned form, and something poke your arse. “You ready to go beautiful?”

All you could do was nod, too afraid of how desperate you’d sound if you tried to speak. Downing the rest of your drinks, you squeaked as Kakashi eased you off the stool and immediately directed you towards the exit, Gojo leading the way to the taxi and opening the door for you, both always touching you as your legs wobbled and mind raced.

Part 3 - https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/648557120920354817/a-rose-by-any-other-name

[sgtjbbhasmyheart]

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Three

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1740

Warnings: Nosy (and well-meaning) friends acting like nosy siblings, angst, bad language words

A/N: After I originally posted this chapter on AO3, I got some comments that exacerbated the beginnings of a year long depression. Please be kind. I intended this chapter to come across as the gang being like siblings...always being in each other’s business. Is there a breach of privacy? Yes, but without the ill-intent. 

DO NOT copy or replicate without permission

Bucky clutched his phone in his flesh hand as he made his way down a long hallway to the communal kitchen and eating area. A soft, crooked smile rested at his lips as he entered the space. Natasha and Sam were sitting at opposite ends of the rectangular table separating the kitchen from the lounge, enjoying a late breakfast. Steve was at a kitchen counter fiddling with the Keurig machine. He pulled another mug from the cupboard when he saw Bucky approach. “Mornin’, Buck. Sleep well?”

Bucky’s grin broadened as he leaned his backside against the countertop. “I did, actually. Thanks for asking,” he answered, looking to his phone at the incoming text.

(Y/N) Would you rather have skin that changes color based on your emotions or tattoos appear all over your body, depicting what you did the day before?

He missed the way Sam and Nat looked at each other in suspicion at his answer to Steve. He was too busy pressing the keys on his touch-screen.

Bucky The tattoos would be awkward, speaking from a male’s perspective, so I think color changing would be better. Not by much, though.

Bucky Would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night or sweat maple syrup?

Bucky saw Steve slide the new mug, now filled with coffee, across the granite-top toward him from the corner of his eye. He glanced up quickly from the screen and nodded. “Thanks, buddy.” Steve answered with a smile.

“What, no grunted thanks or mumbled acknowledgment?” Natasha quipped, standing from her seat to place her plate in the dishwasher.

“Yeah, man. You have been using way too many words lately. I miss the grumpy dude that would brood in the corner,” Sam added, crossing his arms at his chest. “Are we even sure this is the right Bucky?”

Bucky’s phone vibrated again.

(Y/N) I love me some spaghetti! Can you imagine sweating sticky, gooey maple syrup during a humid New York summer?? Your clothes would be toast.

(Y/N) Mmmm, french toast.

Bucky chuckled at the reply, drawing the attention of three sets of eyes.

Sam wasn’t wrong; he wasn’t the same Bucky.

It had been five days since (Y/N)’s first drunken texts. Five days. He couldn’t believe so little time had passed. Somehow, (Y/N) had wiggled her way under his skin.

He had noticed after only a day or two; he was smiling more, less volatile. He felt lighter, happier. He wasn’t skulking about the compound like usual, trying to avoid the rest of the team. Some might go as far as to say he was friendlier than usual.

It felt good to have someone, a friend, learning about the real James Buchanan Barnes, for once, without the threat of The Soldier clouding their perception of him.

“You’re freaking me out, man. Straight outta Invasion of the Body Snatchers or some shit,” Sam declared, rising from his chair.

“Hold on, Sam,” Steve placated, lifting a hand to the advancing man. “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation to Bucky’s good mood lately.”

Bucky set his jaw in frustration, the muscles ticking. He wasn’t a Pod Person. He was just happy, for the first time in seventy-five years.

His phone went off again.

(Y/N) Would you rather sneeze once every hour, on the hour, or burp every time you saw an attractive girl?

A wide smile split his mouth as he scanned the screen.

Bucky Am I sneezing in my sleep or just when I’m awake?

When Bucky brought his gaze back up to his teammates, he noticed Natasha’s own eyes flick down to his phone. The slightest smirk curved the corner of her lips.

“It’s curious,” she said, a perfect eyebrow inched higher to her hairline. “All the people you text are in this room, yet, you haven’t been able to pull yourself away from your phone.” Her eye contact never wavered from Bucky’s face. “Don’t ya think that’s odd, fellas?”

“Natalia,” Bucky warned, his voice gruff. He knew she was fishing.

Sam laughed boisterously. “Yeah, I noticed that the other day. It’s glued to your hip nowadays.”

“It could be anyone from the team, guys,” Steve reasoned. “I bet it’s Tony.”

Bucky became increasingly agitated as the redhead slinked closer, passing his phone back and forth between his hands.

Natasha shook her head in the negative. “Nuh-uh,” she said, leaning against the counter directly beside Bucky. A hair’s breadth of space separated their shoulders from one another. Tipping back, with her elbows propped against the hard surface, she kicked her legs out casually and crossed her feet at the ankle. “Those two have barely said two words to each other since the good Sergeant here was welcomed back into the fold. It’s not Tony.”

“That still doesn’t prove anything,” Steve replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I bet it’s a girl,” Sam said in a sing-song voice. “But, where would Ice Man here meet a girl?”

Natasha smiled while looking at Sam as he stepped closer to the trio. “Let’s find out, shall we?” She nodded to Sam and, without batting an eye, lunged at Bucky.

She tapped the underside of the hand holding the phone, causing the device to flip up into the air.

Though he hadn’t seen the attack coming, Bucky’s reflexes were cat-like, and he easily caught the phone in his opposite hand.

Unfortunately, Natasha was just as quick and knocked the phone from his hand again. She effortlessly swatted it out of the air and into her hand. As Bucky clamored to retrieve the cell phone, she swung her arm behind her back and tossed it into the waiting hands of Sam.

By looking at Sam’s broad smile, Bucky knew he was having a field day at his expense. He pounced on his teammate, grappling for possession of the device. He wasn’t sorry for elbowing the other man harder than he ever would if they were sparring each other. He needed his fucking phone back!

Sam managed to flick the phone over his other shoulder in the process of Bucky grabbing ahold of Sam’s wrist and twisting the same arm behind his body. It clattered to the ground at Steve’s feet.

As everyone stared at the cell phone lying prone on the tile floor, Sam backed Bucky into the cabinets, trapping him with his body. “Let me go, Bird Brain!” Bucky huffed.

Steve bent to pick the phone up, holding it in his hand. Bucky could see the war playing within Steve’s blue eyes as he struggled against Sam. Steve was just as curious as the other two but didn’t want to betray his friend.

Natasha quickly snatched the device from Steve and started thumbing at the screen.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” Steve protested.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you to put a passcode on your phone, Barnes?” Natasha tsked as she navigated to the messaging app.

Bucky knew the exact second she found what she was looking for because her eyes became comically wide. A feral, shit-eating grin crossed her mouth as she raised a brow again.

“Tell me about (Y/N).”

“What?” Steve questioned, crowding the red head. “Lemme see.”

Bucky felt his cheeks go aflame as Natasha angled the screen so Steve could see the message thread. They burned hotter as Steve looked up with his own shit-eating smirk.

“Well, well…” Sam piped up. “If your faces are anything to go by, Vanilla Ice’s still got game.” Bucky twisted his arm back further in retaliation causing Sam to grunt in discomfort.

Bucky watched as Natasha’s thumb skimmed along the screen to delve deeper into past messages. Her thumb stopped as she read a passage; her green eyes rapidly followed the lines of text.

“I always kinda figured you’d be into someone that would call you out on your BS. She sounds fun,” Natasha said as she continued to scroll.

“No one’s into anyone. We’re just friends,” Bucky murmured.

Steve’s head shot up to stare at his best friend, sorrow painting his features. He edged away from Natasha. “Does she know who you are?” he asked.

Bucky shook his head no. “And she never will.”

“Aww, but you guys sound so cute together,” Natasha pouted. Bucky frowned at the insinuation. It couldn’t ever happen.

“There aren’t any rules saying we can’t date,” Natasha mentioned. “Hell, you know how many times I tried to set up this big lug?” She motioned to Steve with her thumb.

“That’s different,” Bucky said after a few moments. He eased up slightly on Sam’s arm.

“How so?”

Bucky rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, the blush starting again. “He’s Captain America, and well, I’m not. Not exactly everyone’s favorite.” He downcast his eyes to the floor.

“Buck, you know that’s not true,” Steve said woefully. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I know, Stevie. Until then, though, I’m still a pariah.”

The super soldier serum couldn’t have been given to a better person, but Bucky always felt like he would be trapped in Steve’s shadow, no matter the amount of good he did. He would still feel weak for what Hydra did to him, or not good enough to be labeled Captain America’s best friend.

Feeling the room take a considerable turn toward somber, Natasha called out, “Holy shit, Barnes! You used Wilson’s toothbrush to clean your toilet?”

“What?!” all three male voices cried out.

Sam rushed forward, trying to see the proof for himself. “You’re a dead man!”

Freed from the weight of Sam’s body, Bucky leaped forward toward Natasha and Sam. Slamming into Sam’s back, he snaked an arm around the other man, reaching frantically for his phone. He was done with them spying on his non-existent personal life.

Bucky smacked against Sam’s hands and arms, trying to dislodge the device.

“Stop!” Sam bellowed. “You’re hitting me like an eleven-year-old girl!”

“Gimme back my phone!” Bucky shouted.

Suddenly, the sound of ringing filled the small space of the kitchen. The scuffling stopped in an instant as everyone tried to figure out where the noise was coming from. Sam glimpsed down at his hands and jumped apart from Bucky as if he’d been burned. He looked horrified!

“Oh, shit!” Sam exclaimed, shoving the phone back at Bucky.

“What did you do?!” Bucky screeched when he realized the ringing was coming from his phone on speaker.

The sound ended abruptly, only to be replaced with the gentle tinkle of a woman’s voice.

“James?”

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

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[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 14)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Billy Russo x Reader Word Count: 6039 Warnings: fluff, light angst, mentions of cheating

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: Major cringe warning everyone.. I can’t wait for your reactions! 😂 A huge thank you to my wonderful beta Sam @buckyofthemyscira​​​​ Feedback is always appreciated! 

PART 13 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Bucky pulls off his headphones, pressing a finger to the keyboard to stop the music he’s reviewing, taking a moment to pinch between his brows. He gets up to stretch his legs, grabbing the empty beer bottle along with him for the short walk to the kitchen. He tosses it in the garbage with the rest.

He doesn’t like drinking this much but lately he hasn’t been feeling great. His music has been stagnant, devoid of life and energy. Thinking about it only makes him feel worse, a painful reminder that deadlines are coming up and what little he’s created is absolute shit.

The knob squeaks as he turns the faucet, letting the water turn to liquid ice before he runs his hands through them, splashing it up against his face. He hears the hiss of the pipes next door and his heart sinks.

It’s Y/N’s shower. He looks towards the wall wondering if she’s alone, quickly shaking the thoughts out of his mind. He shouldn’t care if she’s alone or not. She’s in a relationship and it shouldn’t matter.

Bucky tried really hard to not think about her. He promised himself he would get out there and find someone and well, it hasn’t exactly worked out. In the last three weeks he’s been on a dozen dates. Most of the girls could barely hold a conversation, while the others were less exciting than watching paint dry.

He fucked a few of them even though he said he wouldn’t. That wasn’t the point of these dates but Bucky needed the distraction. It was hard hanging out with everyone, it didn’t matter if Y/N was there with Billy or if they were not; Bucky wasn’t sure what was worse.

Over the last few days he has been messaging someone new who’s been doing a pretty good job of keeping him entertained. Bobbi, she works at a gym Uptown. She’s worked extremely hard for her body and flaunts it in most of her photos and sure, Bucky would love to hit it but there’s something more that keeps him drawn in.

She’s so direct, talking to him as if they had known each other for years. He loves checking his phone to see her latest message, a smile already stretching across his face when he sees a long text about something that happened at the gym. Apparently a lot of characters workout there and she has an endless list of horror stories she couldn’t wait to share with him.

They planned a date for the end of the week and Bucky was very excited to finally meet her. It was promising, the idea that he could be happy with someone just like… just like everyone else.

You hug yourself a little tighter as you walk down the block, feeling the cool breeze move right through you. Billy seems to be in his own world, his head gazing down to his phone as it had been through most of dinner. You didn’t voice your annoyance though because it would only make things worse.

Billy’s been in a bad mood ever since the Feds came knocking at ANVIL’s door. A few former employees were recently involved in a string of armed robberies and Billy was questioned about it. Word got out and he lost a big account as a result.

Obviously the situation is upsetting but it’s not just that, Billy’s been distant lately. You’ve been spending a lot of time together but maybe that’s the problem, the honeymoon period might be over. You know it’s a normal part of any relationship but the idea that things could change so drastically doesn’t make you feel great.

“Hey watch where you’re going,” an unfamiliar voice barked.

Your head turned quickly to find Billy getting in the face of the stranger he apparently bumped into.

“What did you say to me?” Billy’s dark eyes sharpened like a bird of prey closing in on its target. His nostrils flared as he snarled, staring down the other man until he backed away with his tail between his legs. Billy looked him up and down, a smug smile creeping across his face in silent victory.

A heavy arm fell around your shoulders as Billy pulled you closer to him when he began walking away.

“What the hell was that?” you asked after a long beat of silence.

He faced you with the same incredulity he gave the man before. “That was people knowing better than to get in my way.”

Your stomach churned with unease and that silent alarm inside you was going off. You needed to get away from Billy, for tonight at least. By the time you got to the front of your building you figured out an excuse you hoped would work.

“Hey so, I promised Elena I would head in early tomorrow. Paperwork’s been piling up and medical records have been on our case about it. So, can we raincheck this?” You smiled, using your best doe eyes to seem sincere about it.

Billy stared you down, looking for the slightest crack in your expression. It was something he had always done, reading people, checking for lies. You know it’s a product of his upbringing, with so many broken promises made by a faulty system.

“Yeah. Yeah that’s fine,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Remember I got us Knicks tickets.”

You nodded in agreement, gasping slightly when he caught you off guard by his kiss. It was the last thing on your mind but you gave in, opening your mouth to his forceful tongue. Anything to keep up appearances, for tonight.

Billy watched you enter the building and you waved back at him right before you disappeared for the hallway, finally able to take a breath. On the way up to your floor you wondered if you should talk to Wanda about what happened. It was kind of late though and even though she would want to hear everything about it you didn’t want to disturb her.

As you approached your door you looked towards Bucky’s. Maybe he could give some advice from the male perspective. Then again you didn’t want to bother him either. Bucky’s also been pretty distant lately and you’ve barely seen him in the past month. Maybe everything’s changed, your relationship, your friendships. Change is supposed to be good but this felt all wrong.

You couldn’t find a comfortable spot on your bed, tossing and turning, kicking off the covers, pulling them back up again. Nothing seemed right. There was too much on your mind and you couldn’t relax.

“Shut up brain, just shut up!” you begged out loud, grabbing your phone to find something to distract yourself.

Scrolling through your playlists you tried to find one that wouldn’t give you the urge to stay up and sing along, and then you stopped on the perfect one. It was Bucky’s playlist, Greatest Cinema Scores. Grabbing your headphones you laid your head back on the pillow as John Williams carried you to dreamland.

You groan, rolling over to one side. It’s still dark out. You don’t want to look at your phone but you give in anyway. Two in the morning. At least you still had a few more hours of sleep. Your stomach spasms forcing you to get up, hurrying your paces to the bathroom because the weird rumbling has you convinced you might not make it in time.

It’s five past two in the morning when all hell breaks loose. Hell translating to everything you’ve eaten this evening coming up and out of you from both ends. It’s not pretty. Tears are streaming down your face as you puke into the garbage can you’re rapidly filling, trying to catch your breath in between painful heaves. The other end isn’t much better, hot liquid expelling itself from your body; stomach cramps, body spasms all doing their part to add to the mess.

Ten minutes pass by the time it’s safe to leave the bathroom. Your throat burns with the remnants of vomit, your ass is on fire and you curl back into bed, brushing aside the tears from the corner of your eyes. Your reprieve is short lived as your stomach grumbles again and you rush across your apartment, giving yourself over to the porcelain throne.

More comes out of you than you’ve taken in and you wonder about the science of it all. When will it stop? Dinner was simple, a glass of wine, a small house salad, chicken parm and some vegetables that come out whole as you peer into the soupy garbage held out in front of you. A whiff of the stench makes you gag again setting off another round of vomiting.

Everything hurts. Tears burn hot against your skin as you cry alone, half naked and in need of a shower at this point to clean yourself up. Elvis died on the toilet, is that how you’re gonna go too? It seems entirely possible at this point.

By the time the sun begins to peak out through the large buildings you’ve exhausted your body of all its worth. You’re shaking as you change into clean pajamas, crawling back into bed, barely having the strength to raise your phone to your ear as you leave a message for Elena, telling her you won’t be able to make it in today.

Sleep doesn’t come easy, not when you’re still getting out of bed every hour to get rid of every part of your insides. Isn’t it out of you already? You think back to dinner and the slightly pink chicken you thought at the time was your imagination or bad lighting. Dammit.

You text Billy, telling him you have food poisoning, hoping his seafood and linguine didn’t leave him in the same position you were currently in. After the hundredth trip to the bathroom you opened up your fridge looking for something. You squirm as you look at the orange juice, however tempting it is the acid would probably burn through you. Your mouth waters looking at the forbidden food, aka anything that isn’t a plain cracker. Do you have any of those? Nope. How is it possible you don’t have a single thing you could possibly eat?

The trek across your apartment and back to your bed seems like it went on for miles and now you shake with chills, wrapping yourself up in the blanket as you text Wanda begging for her to come over with Gatorade, ginger ale and crackers.

You whimper out loud as you feel your stomach gurgling, it wants another round versus the toilet where you’re going to lose. By the time you come out again you’re sweating, shaking on weak legs as you cry yourself to sleep.

In another hour you’ve woken up, thankful for the returned text that she would come by before heading to work. After your latest round in the bathroom you trudge to the front door unlocking it, and move to your couch where you plop face down. You text Wanda, telling her the door is open, and try to shut your eyes until the inevitable happens. Because you know it’s going to happen again. For some reason you’ve been cursed and there’s nothing you can do about it but suffer.

You aren’t sure of how much time has passed but you hear your door opening, bags rustling in hand and the tiniest smile spreads across your face.

“Wandaaa, my butthole hurts,” you whined, lifting your head up off the couch slightly to groan even more. “It’s like a volcano that’s erupting hot brown lava. There’s so much of it Wan. It won’t stop. My ass is vomiting shit.”

“Wow Y/N, that’s quite a visual.”

Oh no. Panic surges through you when you realize that was not Wanda’s voice. A weak arm pushes you up from the couch where you turn around to find Bucky somehow looking at you in the eye after he heard your very blunt confession.

You’re stunned into silence, not knowing what to say because you had just said far too much than you ever wanted to. Suddenly you feel nauseous again but for a different reason.

Bucky shifted one of the bags he was holding into his other hand so he could send a small wave in your direction, trying not to burst out laughing as he said, “Hey neighbor.”

“B-Bucky, what are you doing here?” you asked, sinking back down onto the couch because you couldn’t support yourself anymore.

“Wanda texted me, said she wasn’t able to get these to you before work.” He set the bags down, walking closer to you and crouching down by the couch. “Are you okay?”

Your head shook a little before you answered. “No. I think I’m dying. I’m puking up my organs.”

“Oh yeah? Which ones?” he chuckled.

“My intestines, definitely my stomach… maybe a kidney or two.”

He cracked a beautiful smile that somehow made you feel better just by looking at it. Bucky reached the back of his hand out to feel your forehead. You were a little warm but you didn’t feel feverish.

“Well I’m here now and I brought all the good stuff you need. Will you let me help you?”

Tears filled your eyes as you replied, and Bucky smiled again. He emptied the bags in your kitchen, taking out a bottle of ginger ale, Gatorade, crackers and some instant white rice.

“How about a little ginger ale to settle your stomach, yeah?”

Bucky brought over a glass that was less than half filled. Sitting next to you, he helped you sit up and you waited for the room to stop spinning before you took a few small sips as he told you to. Your hand was shaking and Bucky took the glass from you before you spilled it.

You didn’t think a few sips of ginger ale would be a magical cure but you wished it would. You felt so shitty… which seemed fitting, but it really wasn’t funny. You leaned against Bucky, closing your eyes as you sighed in frustration. It was comforting to feel his arm around you, and hear his whispers that everything would be okay.

“Are you nauseous? Do you need to…”

“I just don’t feel good,” you cried against him.

Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, wishing there was something more he could do for you. When Wanda texted him he had shot right up, threw on clothes and raced to the store. He wished you had asked him, that you were as close as you used to be but he understands why you might not have wanted him to know.

The briefest thought about Billy crosses his mind. Did you tell him? Was he going to come in and take care of you? Would you shove Bucky aside if he did? But Billy isn’t here, and Billy isn’t important. Right now this is about you and doing whatever he can to help.

“Hey doll, do you want to try and eat something?”

You barely process the nickname as you think about how your stomach is feeling. It’s still too early to try and eat so instead you ask for some Gatorade, hoping that might make you feel a little better.

Bucky brings it back, along with a wet washcloth he places on your neck, feeling your skin prickle at his touch as he moves aside the collar of your shirt. It’s a nice relief for the short while it lasts. You head back to the bathroom again but at least you didn’t vomit this time. You’re thankful since you’re really not sure you have the strength to even handle throwing up anymore.

Back on the couch you lay your head down on Bucky’s thigh, curling your body into a fetal position as he lays a throw blanket over you. You don’t realize when you’ve fallen asleep but you wake up at some time later to find the sky is lit in a golden glow of the afternoon sun. Bucky assists you with sitting up, helping you quell the dizziness with more sips of Gatorade and ginger ale.

You feel brave enough to eat, hoping that one single cracker will not send you back on the hell ride through your digestive tract. Bucky can’t help but smile as you nibble on the cracker slowly like a hamster.

“What did you eat that got you sick?” he wondered.

“New Italian place on 23rd and 8th. Bad chicken. I mean, I thought it was good at the time but I don’t think I’ll be going back again.”

“Good to know. I’m gonna cancel my plans tonight,” he said, digging his phone from his pocket.

“Yeah, definitely go somewhere else.”

“No, I’m cancelling the whole date.”

Your head spun as you turned it too fast to face Bucky. “You have a date tonight?”

His head shook before he began speaking. “Nope, not anymore. I want to stay here and take care of you.” You began to protest but Bucky insisted. “Y/N, I really want to do this. Please, let me help you.”

The fluttering in your stomach made you wonder if you needed to rush to the bathroom again but it didn’t feel the same as before. Instead you smiled softly, thankful to have Bucky’s kindness. It was nice to know someone wanted to take care of you.

In the moment you scanned the table for your phone, remembering the text you sent out this morning. Billy still hadn’t replied. Maybe he’s sick too or maybe… well you don’t have the energy to think otherwise at the moment.

Your mouth is watering, craving anything and everything that you can’t have. Even the drinks have to be sipped slowly otherwise you’ll set your stomach off again. It’s so unfair. Why is this happening? And why is every commercial food related?

“Bucky, can you change the channel?” you begged.

He switched it to a show about animals, that’s fine, that’s… not fine. The TV shows a raccoon eating delicious red grapes and you feel the tears begin to flood your eyes. You huff against Bucky’s leg, not bothering to change the channel because there was no point. You couldn’t eat and you probably never will again. Was that being dramatic? Maybe, but right now you’re not in the mood to think sensibly.

“I feel bad askin’ but is it okay if I order food? I know you can’t have any and I really don’t want to make this worse for ya.”

Bucky is staring at you with big blue eyes, hoping his small request isn’t too much of an offence at the moment. You almost wanted to say no but you couldn’t, it’s not Bucky’s fault you ate bad chicken.

“Pizza? Really?” you whined after he placed his order.

His eyes grew big with panic and he was about to call back and cancel his order before you stopped him.

“No, no. I’m sorry Bucky. It doesn’t matter what you eat, I’m gonna want everything so enjoy yourself.”

You pouted, grabbing the throw blanket to pull it over your shoulder as you adjusted your position of resting on his leg, shutting your eyes until he got up to answer the door when the pizza arrived.

“That smells really good,” you said, frowning as Bucky opened the box.

He was hesitant to take a bite, feeling guilty as you looked at him. “Can I make you anything? Think you could handle some rice?”

Your head shook and you took out another single cracker, chewing on it slowly as Bucky sat down beside you with a few slices.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You’ll feel better soon, I promise. And when you’re up for it let’s get pizza. We still haven’t kept our promise.” Bucky’s mouth dropped open in response to your confused face. “Our pizza quest! Remember? Eat our way through the city to find the best pizza!”

“Oh yeah!” You smiled for the first time, bright and beaming across your face and Bucky was happy he was able to bring that out in you. “We definitely have to do that.”

The night continued with Bucky putting on Galaxy Quest for you both to watch. Halfway through the movie you went back to the bathroom, missing a call from Billy. Bucky couldn’t help but look over as your phone buzzed, seeing a picture of you and Billy smiling together.

A moment later a text came through and he knew he shouldn’t read it but he couldn’t help himself. Bucky looked towards the bathroom to check that you weren’t about to come out before he grabbed your phone, reading Billy’s text.

Billy: Wtf Y/N where are you? Did you remember the basketball game?

Bucky placed your phone back on the coffee table, remembering to unclench his jaw as your bathroom door opened. What an asshole. He didn’t even ask how you were.

“Your phone rang,” Bucky reluctantly said as you sat down again.

He watched as you read the text, typing back furiously. Another buzz and you were responding to Billy again, your face getting angrier the longer the back and forth messaging went on.

“I’m sorry, that was rude,” you said, tossing your phone on the table. “Let’s put the movie on.”

You got comfortable against Bucky, ignoring the buzz of your phone. The texts didn’t stop coming in and you tried your best to ignore it and pay attention to the movie but Bucky could clearly see you were upset.

“You can answer that if you need to.”

“I really don’t want to. Billy’s so concerned about wasting money on tickets, not once has he even mentioned the fact that I’m sick. Did he not get my messages?”

Bucky bit his tongue, not wanting to say something he might end up regretting, especially if this isn’t the end of you and Billy like he hoped. Why would he hope that? He’s dating now. Or at least he thought he was.

He cancelled his date with Bobbi tonight without hesitation, just so he could take care of you. She seemed cool about it, asking if he was free tomorrow and Bucky agreed to another date but the longer you stay curled up beside him the less interest he has in wanting to see anyone.

The warmth of your body against his lulled Bucky into a deep sleep. It wasn’t the most comfortable, slumped on the couch in a mostly sitting position but he didn’t want to move, not when you had fallen asleep before him. You were exhausted from everything you went through so your sleep was more important to him than the cramp that developed in his neck overnight.

You woke up, slowly opening your eyes, rubbing the sleep from them as you realized you weren’t in your bed but on the couch resting your head against Bucky. You watched the rise and fall of his stomach through the soft sweater he wore, the one that most certainly left tiny marks on your cheek from leaning against it.

Looking up at Bucky you smiled at the way his head was tilted to the side, eyes shut peacefully as small puffs of breath left his mouth. You thought about everything Bucky had done for you, what was supposed to be a simple task of dropping off ginger ale and crackers turned into his whole day being rearranged just to take care of you.

You wanted to do something nice for him in return, it’s something you’ll have to think about when your head’s not as light as it feels. Slowly you begin to sit up, taking a few sips of Gatorade from the bottle that was left on the table. You feel… better but still not great.

It’s daring but you aim to eat two crackers, hoping it won’t set off your stomach. It was grumbling with hunger but you knew better than to give in with actual food even though you were craving pancakes.

After sitting up for a while you didn’t think you felt dizzy anymore so you got up slowly. You felt the weakness in your legs as they carried you across the room but at least your trip to the bathroom was normal. A regular pee was a lot better than everything else that came out of you yesterday.

“G’morning,” Bucky said mid-yawn as you opened the door, seeing his sweater rise up to reveal a sliver of his toned stomach as he stretched his arms out.

“Morning Bucky.” You smiled as you made your way beside him again, reaching your arm across his stomach as you settled back against him, nuzzling your head on his chest.

Bucky loved this but absolutely hated that he needed to use the bathroom and therefore ruin the way you cuddled up against him. “I’m sorry doll. I’ll be quick,” he said, rushing up off the couch.

Doll. You liked that nickname. It was a little on the old fashioned side but it was endearing. Billy called you babe which was fine and all but it definitely didn’t have the same effect as doll. The thought of Billy made you roll your eyes. You would have to speak to him today but you really didn’t want to.

“Alright, where were we?”

Bucky’s voice rang out as he opened the door, walking back towards the couch. He moved his neck from side to side to crack it before he sat down again, letting you cozy up to him.

“How’re you feelin’ today?”

“Better. I think I might try some rice later.”

“Just let me know and I’ll make it.” There was no hesitation in his offer, just pure tenderness in wanting you to get better.

The morning was spent cuddling on the couch until Bucky’s stomach began grumbling worse than yours. He got up to make himself something while you insisted you weren’t ready for anything more than crackers and ginger ale yet.

“I’m gonna take your garbage out and head home for a quick shower. You think you’ll be okay? I’ll be quick.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Bucky.”

He was thankful you didn’t tell him not to come back. You seemed much better than yesterday and you probably didn’t need him but Bucky really didn’t want to leave. Sure he had work to do but this was more important. He wouldn’t have been able to get you off his mind anyway so he might as well be useful.

During Bucky’s absence you debated talking to Billy, knowing it would probably end up in a fight but you didn’t have the strength to do that yet. Besides, you hadn’t done anything wrong so there is no need for you to be chasing him down.

With the little energy you had you decided to freshen up. While splashing your face with some water you noticed the broken blood vessels in your eyes, the result of straining so much to throw up. Fun stuff.

It was a bit of a struggle to get undressed and changed into new pajamas and you had to lay down in your bed before the room stopped spinning. Thankfully Bucky had come back and was able to help you.

He handed the glass of Gatorade to you, rubbing slow circles of comfort on your back that seemed so natural for him.

“You need to eat something Y/N. Think you’re up for some rice now?” he asked softly, gazing at you with concern as he awaited your answer. You gave a simple nod and Bucky leapt up to get it started.

The burn of tears rushed to your eyes as you thought about Bucky. He was so eager to make sure you were okay, taking out your garbage that was filled with various bags full of vomit without hesitation, spending every minute of his weekend just to take care of you. He even cancelled a date.

Something inside your stomach twisted at the thought of Bucky actually dating someone. It’s not like him sleeping with someone was a surprise to you but apparently in the last month you’ve drifted apart from him, unaware he had started to date people instead of just sleeping with them. You’re not so sure why this makes you feel so… well, you’re not really sure how you feel about it but you know you feel something.

None of this should matter though. You have been dating someone for two months. Someone you thought you loved but this past weekend has taught you a lot about Billy. Not only has his change in demeanor put you off but the fact that he hasn’t shown any concern for you over this weekend really makes you want to end your relationship.

Bucky happily brought over a small bowl of white rice. There wasn’t much in there to begin with but you could only manage a few teaspoons before you had to stop. The worst part of it all is that you were so hungry but you really couldn’t eat much, and certainly couldn’t chance upsetting your stomach anymore no matter how badly you wanted to shovel the rice down your mouth.

The afternoon was spent on your couch again, cuddled up against Bucky as you continued to watch movies. His arm was around your shoulder and occasionally you felt his hand rub up and down over the curve of your arm. You smiled against him, letting yourself enjoy however long you could have Bucky like this.

In the back of your mind you thought about him dating again. Whoever he ends up with would be the luckiest girl ever, to have someone as kind and caring as Bucky take care of them as he has been with you. You chew on your bottom lip remembering the shared kiss on New Year’s Eve. Yeah, it was safe to say you would be completely jealous of any girl that ends up with him.

While attempting to have a little more rice you watched Bucky respond to his phone that had gone off a few times. It was hard not to glance over at him, imagining what pretty girl he was probably talking to.

What you didn’t know was Bucky was talking to a girl, Bobbi, cancelling the plans they had rescheduled for today. He didn’t bother to reschedule again and Bucky knew it was stupid not to but somehow the weekend he’s spent on your couch made him lose all enthusiasm for dating someone. Logic tried to reason with him, remind him that you were in a relationship but it was hard to deny the way he felt about you, how he’s been feeling for a long time now.

Bucky can’t stop staring at you, watching as you finish up the rice from earlier. He’s hated seeing you in pain but being able to help you this weekend has been such an honor.

As the sun set you realized you were not at all prepared to go back to work tomorrow. You probably could use another day off but since you weren’t throwing up anymore you wanted to at least give it a shot. Besides, Tony had been relying on you a lot recently with the logistics of getting The September Foundation prepared and you didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

“I need to take a shower.” As you stood up you felt a little dizzy and Bucky had his arms around you just in case. After a moment of a few deep breaths you felt a little better. “I’m okay,” you assured him.

Bucky didn’t quite believe that so he poured more Gatorade and handed you the glass.

“I’m not leaving you.” Bucky wiped his hand down his face realizing how forceful that sounded. “I mean, I won’t leave until you get out okay? I don’t want you to slip and fall or anything.”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked just in case but now I feel like I’ve jinxed myself,” you joked. Having Bucky hear your vivid description of shitting was bad enough, you really didn’t want him to find you passed out in the shower.

Bucky lowered the volume of the TV to barely above mute, wanting to listen out for anything out of the ordinary. He heard the shower turn on and a minute later the curtain pulling as you stepped in.

A text from Sam pulled his attention away from listening and he opened the message, his jaw clenched as he scanned the photo attached. It was Billy, with his arm around another girl. She was short with dark hair pulled into a bun, dressed professionally and Bucky questioned if he was jumping the gun at thinking the worst. Maybe she worked with Billy or maybe it was his sister.

The next text that came through proved his theories wrong. Sam captioned the picture of Billy kissing the girl with “Asshole.”

Bucky: I’m with Y/N now. She’s been sick all wknd I don’t think she knows about this.

Sam: Do you want to tell her or should I have Wanda come by? She’s ready to rip his head off.

Bucky: So am I Bucky: Fuck. Bucky: idk maybe Wanda should talk to her?

There was nothing Bucky wanted more than to tell you what an asshole Billy was but he didn’t want to be accused of using it to his advantage in any way. Bucky would be there with everyone else to support you through this but as a friend only. You deserved better than Billy no matter who you ended up with.

“Bucky!”

The sound of your voice in distress makes him pop up from the couch. He runs to the door, fear coursing through his veins as he hopes you’re okay. Inside the steamy bathroom he finds your head poking out through the shower curtain, the rest of it pulled close to your body not to reveal yourself.

“I forgot to grab a towel,” you said, smiling. “They’re over there.” A bare arm slick with water points behind him and he grabs a towel from a shelf. “Thanks,” you said, taking it from him, watching as he nods awkwardly before shutting the door.

Bucky’s cheeks are flushed from the brief humidity and the sight of seeing you in the shower. Well, not that he saw anything but just the idea of it has his heart racing.

Ten minutes later and you were out of the bathroom, changed into new pajamas, these ones covered with a cute cactus print, brushing through your still wet hair.

Silence filled the room as you finished your post shower routine of putting on a variety of moisturizers and facial sprays and Bucky felt like he had overstayed his welcome. You were winding down even though it was still early, and truthfully he had a weekend’s worth of work to catch up on.

“So there’s more rice on the counter, plus an unopened bottle of ginger ale too, and if you need anything else you know where I live.” He chuckled uncomfortably at his bad joke. “Really though if you need me please call me okay? I’ll come running.”

He didn’t mean to sound so desperate but it was true.

“Thank you so much for everything Bucky.” You threw your arms around him for a hug, melting deeper into him as he wrapped his arms around your body.

Neither of you realized the other didn’t want to let go but you made the move to reluctantly pull apart. Bucky had spent his whole weekend doting on you, you didn’t want to force him to stay any longer.

Bucky smiled as he gazed upon you, the way your eyes shifted down before staring back up at him. He leaned in slowly, pressing his lips to your forehead and a surge of electricity went racing through you. His kiss lingered and the longer he made contact with your skin the more you wanted to press your lips to his.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he said, walking away slowly towards the door.

Your heart was caught in your throat as you locked it behind him, letting out a deep, longing sigh, and the realization that you might have feelings for Bucky.

PART 15

[spaceorphan18]

99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story #35

A/N: The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

I started something like this a while back - and now I’m taking the idea and really running with it. Each chapter is a ficlet of a different character at a different point in Kurt and Blaine’s life - documenting their love story. This starts in Audition, and each chapter will be paired with a different episode until reaching Dreams Come True.

[Ao3]

***

Sugar Motta (Heart) 

“Blaine Anderson?” With all her tiny might, Sugar Motta burst into Blaine Anderson’s bedroom.  She didn’t even bother addressing Blaine’s parents, who had been sitting in the living room when she walked in.  She had just thrown a few hundred-dollar bills at them and barged straight towards Blaine’s room.  Blaine is sitting at his desk, and looks up, startled as she drives in.  “We need to talk.”

One eye might be covered with an eye-patch but, he’s still able to convey a confused look.  “Um, Sugar.  Hi.”

“You have been avoiding my calls,” she says, firmly folding her arms across her chest.  “And no one avoids my calls.”

“Well…” Blaine tilts his head, still perplexed.  “I did just have surgery.”  

“Listen, this is how it’s going to go,” Sugar says, with pure authority.  “Daddy is throwing me a party.  A celebration of me.  Because I am awesome and I deserve it.  And my party is going to be the best -- because I am the best and everything that I do is the best.  And I’m going to have the New Directions sing at my party, because I can be lead singer and show off how wonderful I am.  But, I need a male vocalist whose voice is as sexy as I am.  And while you dress like my 84-year-old grandpa, wear way too much gel in your hair, and apparently are into being a pirate these days…”

“...eye surgery, Sugar…”

“...There is not a single person in that club, other than me, whose voice is as sexy as yours.  So, I want you to get over being sick or whatever and be the big surprise at my party.”

Blaine’s jaw drops slightly, aghast at what to say.  

Sugar bonks her head with her hand.  “Silly me, I forgot…” she digs into her purse and pulls out a wad of cash, pushing it into his face.  

Blaine pushes the cash back.  “I would love to sing, but I don’t need your money.”  

Sugar’s fake smile falters, trying not to show how insulted she is by his refusal of money.  She lets out a little pretend pout as she stuffs the bills back into her purse.   “Suit yourself.  I still expect a stellar performance as my Valentine’s Day present.”  

“Oh!” Blaine sits up a little straighter in his chair, enlightened. “You know, I’ve been trying to come up with a good Valentine’s Day gift for my boyfriend.  This would be perfect.  I could serenade him -- something lush and romantic, maybe an old jazz standard…”

Sugar lets out an unsatisfied grunt.  “Well, we’re not going to do that.  I want something sexy.  And hot.  Because I am sexy.  And hot.  Singing songs from a hundred years ago is gross. And not hot.  And I can’t have gross at my party.”

Blaine rolls his eye, but Sugar is too busy looking past him to even notice.  

“Oh, my god,” she screeches, noticing something that immediately sets her on edge.  “Why do you have a framed photo of my man Rory looking so classically handsome in a suit on your desk?”  She towers over him, looking quite scary for such a little person.  

Blaine again looks around, confused, until he sees the photo.  “Oh, no, Sugar, this is Kurt.  As in my boyfriend, Kurt Hummel.  You know him - he’s in glee club with us.”  

“Oh.” Sugar grabs the photo, and upon further inspection, and realization that it isn’t one of the boys who idolizes her, sets it back down, disappointed.  “Oh! So, your boyfriend is the incredible sad sack who sits in the back of the choir room and does nothing but mope.”

A hint of a smile climbs on Blaine’s face.  “He’s moping without me there?”

“It’s kind of pathetic,” Sugar informs him.  “You should really fix that.  Or dump him or something.  I would never be caught dead dating someone as depressing as that.”  

“Well, yeah, that’s why I want to do something sweet for him,” Blaine explains.  “Kurt is -- the love of my life.  His smile lights can light up a room, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.  The least I can do is bring joy back into his world.”

“Yeah, I stopped listening because this isn’t about me.”  She digs out her sunglasses and puts them over her eyes.  “Call me when you figure out what sexy number you’re going to do at my party, and do it soon or you'll be fired.  K?” 

And with that, Sugar turns on her heel and leaves with the same whirlwind energy as when she had arrived.  

[kaypeace21]

Hey Kay! I was wondering... I'm thinking of writing a Byler fic. Is there anything that's missing from the current fic library that you think would be good to see, in terms of tropes, characterisation, things to explore, etc? I would also appreciate hearing from your followers. Just any ideas that people would like to see in a fic.

yeah sure ...

1)We need more povs from Mike’s perspective. (Almost all are from Will’s pov - let’s mix it up sometimes)

Mike in canon is the pinning-gay -(overly romantic) whipped one , but we never see it. And he’s pretty much never written this way! Mike in s3 has 6 drawings from Will on his wall  (he kept them up since s1-for years- despite replacing the poster on the same wall). Has even caressed extra drawings of Will’s that he’s kept in his binder.  In s1 wrote a whole story for Will about defeating a monster and giving the king it’s  7 heads (cause Will rolled a 7 when the demogorgan attacked him.) And as a Star Wars fan he had his own character be given a medal by the king (like how leia gave the medal to Han for his heroism.) He attacked people for insulting Will. Literally hates apologizing -but is quick to do so for Will . Boy ran in the pouring rain twice for Will- disobeying cops, the government, and his parents to do so. He initiates every byler moment (arm thing, hand touch, ‘best thing i’ve ever done’, ‘crazy together, right?’, always asking Will “what’s wrong?” or “are you ok?” etc). And was upset at Will dancing with a girl + insecure about Will replacing him -after he moves away.

-but 90% of byler fanfics (don’t get me wrong some are good) are from Will’s pinning perspective. Also do people realize Mike is clearly the more romantic/ emotional open of the 2 while Will is clearly the more emotionally closed off/aloof one?  He loves Mike too- but he’s def less obvious about his feelings- based on how he behaves. Will rarely opens up to people (Mike being an exception). But, it’s never written that way (usually it’s the opposite).  

2) as a gay women all the reductive stereotypes annoy me. it’s obvious when fic writers try to have the gay romance be modeled after het romance- and try to make one into the ‘girl’/ ‘guy’. Duffers don’t stereotype  Mike or Will but a lot of fanfiction writers do in order to make the gay romance resemble a straight one more (canon character traits, be dammed). Please, stop pushing heterosexual dynamics on gay and lesbian couples and trying to make one “the girl” and “the guy”. It’s very offensive and innaccurate.

Because he’s taller and most people head canon him as bi they make Mike a jock (despite in canon having horrible aim and not being able to run as fast as the rest of the gang). And Will (since most see him as gay) is weak/ sucks at sports compared to mike...despite knowing how to use a bat, shoot a gun, and being able to tear castle byers apart with his bare hands . Also nothing in canon shows Will likes to wear makeup and dress in drag (but it’s a constant thing that i’ve heard come up or heard others mention). It would be fine if he wanted to express himself in such a way. And if it only came up in an occasional fic it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it’s such a common theme that comes up (despite no canon evidence) that in most cases it just screams ‘straight writers trying to make Will into “the girl”’.  Not to mention the huge emphasis of their height difference (shows this too). It can get annoying calling him “short” & “petite” (a term used for women) when will isn’t even the shortest guy member- and now his actor is way taller than gaten (dustin) a bit taller (I think?) than caleb (Lucas) and barely shorter than finn (Mike’s actor). But writers even in future fics write him as short...ok? ya’ll really can’t let go of making Will “the girl.” Cause ya’ll incorrectly equate shortness to femminity. It’s tiring. Some writers straight up say he’s “pretty “, “feminine” or “looks like a girl” 🙄

3) it’s not byler if it’s unrequited- stop tagging it as such

4) more emphasis on Will’s passions(art, writing, horror movies). Maybe in his upbringing with Lonnie.And jon being a good bro to him. Will’s Mental health issues maybe ?

5) mike is a socially awkward, clumsy, unathletic, (caring) science/sci-fi /D&D loving nerd. In au whatever- but mike is not a bro-y jock, or a cool bad boy. 😂 plus , more writer mike would be nice to see

6) headcanon him all you want -but at this point it’s pretty obvious (to me at least) Mike never loved el,and was just lying/confused/ projecting Will on her. And El is/was also confused and never loved mike.   so it would be nicer to see that instead of Mike just ‘falling out of love’ with her. Mike is gay. people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. same energy. writers even threw in a telemarketing joke so Mike says in s3 “El? no. sorry not interested.” And Mike has more rainbow refs than Will.  Boy is clearly gay not bi (way too much evidence to talk about here) .  They even  compare mileven to ted/karen who “never loved each other.”   The  writers make fun of mileven constantly and say over and over it’s not actually romantic - (if you choose to read just 1 link read this one  and get with the program) . plus, most Bi dudes  wouldn’t stop being attracted to a girl the more fem she gets (and only be attracted to her when she looks like a “guy”(specifically their guy friend).which yes the characters in s1 said over and over again that El looked like a “boy”/“will”.  And then they have him Makeout with her while putting up a  drawing of said male bff on the wall (cause now she looks less like him) and so he needs to look at said bro, to stomach the makeout seshes/ and in an effort to transfer said romantic feelings from guy friend to gf. Then push his gf’s hands off himself during the kisses- sing to stop kissing, and  kiss to mostly show off how straight he is. And without said pic- not kiss back and just keep his eyes open and not reciprocate. Nor would they have Mike equate het romance to something he thinks he has to do as a part of growing up . Bi dudes consider falling for a girl as simply romance not a foreign idea that has to be done cause there’s no other option and that’s ‘just what old people do’. Mike claims el is the only girl he’s ever had feelings for - but like dustin said mileven is “bullshit “ (stancy parallel -where nancy was not in love but faking it). So mike’s never been into a girl and is also into Will... so...

7) it’s the 80s they can’t just be open/ have pda in public (you could have gotten k*lled or beaten severely.) And most of their friends/fam would not take it well initially. (I think jon, Karen , and steve/robin would take it well... but not most of the crew.) although they’d all prob come around eventually . -Takes me out of a fic to have such historical revisionism when everyone is just totally fine with byler and they’re out to the public/strangers.

but that’s just me. What about you guys?

[moonprincemulti]

Can I request a Headcanon for what stray kids changbin would be like with a Ftm Transgender Partner? From starting hormones, transitioning, to getting surgery, & just in general.

Thank you ☺️ I love your writing and it makes me so happy to see people include Male readers 💚💛

- 26 Oct 2020

- Stray Kids Changbin reacting to a FTM partner

I have been so excited to write this request! I'm sorry that it took so long for me to reply though... I have schoolwork that takes quite some time so, I do my best to fit in some writing time where I can.

Anyway, I'd love to imagine how Changbin would react to their partner being like this, since I am a trans person myself.

--------

Coming out:

Changbin would be surprised at first. He knew you weren't the girliest girl, but he hadn't thought about any gender problems at all. As he listened to your nervous words, he'd smile and then pull you into a hug. He'd tell you that he loved you for who you are, no matter what your gender was. He'd help you the best he could, and was curious for what this course would bring you both. He was glad you were able to tell him, as he'd be ready to support you through everything.

Psychological treatment:

Changbin would wish you good luck everytime you had an appointment with your psychologist. He'd ask you how it went, and he would be happy if you came back with good news. He'd often get little treats or gifts for you, to reward you for being so strong.

During dysphoric moments:

Changbin wouldn't always notice immediately when you were having trouble with dysphoria, but once you spoke up about it, he would desperately try to distract you. He'd talk about your favourite show, sing you a song, and if things were really bad, he'd just hold you in a tight hug, whispering sweet encouraging words in your ear.

Start of T (horomones):

Changbin would be nervous, maybe even more nervous than you, because this was the first big real step in the transition. You had been preparing for it for a while, but Changbin was still nervous what it would mean for you. He hoped the best of course, because he wanted you to feel better and more confident. As things started to change after a few months, Changbin would notice them and compliment you. The moment your voice began to change, he would tease you about how it would crack or shoot up, but you two could always laugh about it.

Top surgery:

The day of the surgery was one bomb of nerves, anxiety and hopefullness. Changbin had made sure that his schedules would not interrupt this big happening, because he wanted to be there for you the whole time. Before the surgery he would make you laugh, talking with you about how he would take care of you afterwards. Because with tiny t-rex arms, you were helpless, and Changbin didn't mind providing for you. He held your hand as you were given the anesthetics, and he stayed with you until the last moment.

When you came back from the operating room, he'd quickly grab your hand again, talking to you with a sweet voice. He'd tell you how great you did, and when you burst out in tears of happiness, he'd do the same. He was so happy for you, to finally have been freed of your most prominent female features.

Changing your legal name & gender:

Changbin came with you to the government facility. He would hold your waist as you'd talk to the personell, and stroke your back as you sat down to write out the paperwork. When all that was done, he'd surprise you with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. The moment you two left the government facility, he couldn't stop calling you 'his man, his boyfriend, his handsome y/n'.

-----

So yeah, I think Changbin would be very accepting and supporting throughout the whole process. He loves you for you, no matter the gender. He would show his love through various things, but he would always be there for you.

I hope you liked what I wrote out. I didn't include bottom surgery because not all transmen want to get that done. This is also partly from my perspective on how I view my transition, so it might be different than how you view your transition. But I atleast hope it made you happy.

For any transmen that come across my blog, feel free to request something!

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: Soft Cell’s 1981 debut, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret! The first great gay synth-pop album, and the one that walked so that acts like Bronski Beat, Erasure, and the Pet Shop Boys could run. Yeah, “Tainted Love” is cool, but have you ever heard “Sex Dwarf”? Full transcript after the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today’s video tackles Soft Cell’s 1981 debut, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret. While “Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret” is not necessarily a household name, this album did produce one track that I can just about guarantee that you’ve already heard, assuming you have any familiarity with Western popular music.

Music: “Tainted Love”

“Tainted Love” is one of those classics that’s almost too big for its own good, with an enormous shadow in popular culture. Few compositions from the 1980s, from the general arena of synth-pop, or, indeed, in the popular music canon, have quite as much of a legacy. As an introduction to the significance of Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret, it’s not an awful start, but it does have a bit of an “obvious single choice” feel--not only for that huge hook, but also for how tame, even quaint, it starts to feel compared to the other stuff here. “Tainted Love” is a gay song, sure, but it’s only expressing that idea in an abstract manner--it is a cover, after all. What the remainder of the album lacks in “DUN DUN,” it makes up for in frankness and remarkably candid handling of sexuality, which still manages to be a bit shocking, even as this album reaches its 40th birthday. Could anyone but Soft Cell’s Marc Almond really have sold us the raw, lurid raunchiness of “Sex Dwarf”?

Music: “Sex Dwarf”

Beyond the outrageously explicit nature of “Sex Dwarf,” its most noteworthy characteristic is just how playfully, cartoonishly devilish it is. I’ve always read it as a work in the grand tradition of the queer community reclaiming the trope of the camp gay villain, seen so often in popular media. In its purest form, this gay villain archetype is the ultimate expression of chaos and disorder--their rejection of social norms of gender and sexuality and their threat to the status quo go hand in hand. While it’s reprehensible to simply equate queerness with evil, there’s a long tradition of reclaiming that same imagery, turning the lavish power of such transgressor figures into a badge of strength, and that’s how I tend to interpret “Sex Dwarf.” That said, for as much as tracks like these seem to almost force a specifically gay reading of the album, it also seems interested in themes of sexuality and sin, more broadly. Take the track “Seedy Films,” for example, a more playful number full of slinky clarinet, teasing rattles, and breathy, almost gasping female backing vocals, seemingly suggestive of a more heterosexual vantage point.

Music: “Seedy Films”

I like to think of each track on Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret as coming to us from the perspective of a different anti-hero, each as unreliable and capricious as the last. Another key track that complicates issues of perspective and identity is the album’s tense opener, “Frustration.” “Frustration” delivers on its title musically, with a stubborn refusal to ever resolve its constant melodic tension at any point during its runtime, making it legitimately fatiguing and stressful to listen to. Its lyrics might be interpreted as a critique of the boredom lurking behind mainstream society’s “ideal” life of suburban safety, and a send-up of the alleged appeal of fitting in and being normal. But we could interpret it equally well, as a song that’s less about being “straight” in the sense of “square,” and more about being heterosexual--perhaps as the lament of a closeted gay man, tormented by an incommunicable internal struggle, despite all the material comforts in the world.

Music: “Frustration”

Either way, “Frustration” can be compared to “Secret Life” on the flip side, which focuses on the idea of a divide between one’s external facade of a respectable and ordinary existence, and the darkness of one’s internal, deviant, carnal desires.

Music: “Secret Life”

Whether their narrators are parsed as gay or straight, their songs are certainly tense tales of repression and release. And they’re also mediated by the idea of being trapped in a tame, and particularly middle-aged existence. The clearest expression of the theme of getting older, and possibly more and more constrained by the need to put on airs of respectability, is, naturally, “Youth”:

Music: “Youth”

The stale, conservative lifestyles of the middle-aged certainly don’t seem like the most natural subject matter for a debut album by a pair of twenty-somethings, but I like to interpret this fixation as a bit of a memento mori. The urgency of enjoying life’s pleasures, now, is checked by the fear of a future in which that window of opportunity is closing. As I said earlier, all of these tracks are narrated by some character or construct, and in that sense, the real identities of Marc Almond and David Ball matter fairly little. In the world of Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret, nearly everything feels constructed or artificial--it’s all just an act, as much as “Secret Life”’s narrator puts on a respectable front. The superbly campy “Entertain Me,” which wouldn’t feel out of place in some cult musical, engages most clearly with the idea of performance, bringing in a giggling call-and-response choir and a chaotic clamour of percussion in its desperate attempt to, well, entertain us. Critically positioned at the top of the second side, it’s the perfect place for the album to second-guess itself as a work of art.

Music: “Entertain Me”

That track is certainly more “Rocky Horror Picture Show” than “Architecture & Morality,” isn’t it? While the synth-pop acts penetrating the mainstream before Soft Cell, like Gary Numan and OMD, had a bit of punk’s rough, low-budget, DIY ethos to them, Soft Cell were the first ones really crafting performative, self-aware post-disco synth-pop, that owed more to the swooning divahood of Donna Summer in “I Feel Love” than it did to the starched shirts and robo-rhythms of Kraftwerk. Much like disco, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret is truly a production--dense, luxurious, tweaked to perfection in a studio, and featuring several traditional instruments that are uncommon in rock, such as “Frustration”’s saxophone and “Seedy Films”’s clarinet.

The most noticeable thing about the cover of the album is almost certainly its lurid blue and fuchsia lighting, gleaming harshly against Almond and Ball’s leather jackets. It immediately takes us to the sweaty, nocturnal, and of course, homoerotic world this music dwells in. The duo stare us down, with fairly cross or standoffish posturing, suitable for an album as in-your-face as this one. There’s a bit of a narrative hook here, with Almond either producing this mysterious, almost certainly illicit package, or perhaps tucking it away. Almond’s sunglasses are a small detail, but one that I think holds a lot of contextual significance. There’s a long history of erotic art aimed at the gay male audience utilizing devices like hat-brims and shades to create a “disrupted gaze”--a sort of lightly objectifying, or compartmentalizing, manner of sexualizing its subjects. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention Ball’s snakeskin necktie, which is another classically sexy touch. Note also the neon light motif used for the text, which contributes to that nightlife feel as strongly as anything else. With a name like “Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret,” it would’ve been truly sinful to write that out in anything besides this warping neon, and it’s the perfect title to accompany an album that’s as insistent and gleefully tawdry as they come.

Earlier, I had contrasted Soft Cell with other major players in synth-pop who came before them, and I think that context is vital to understanding why this album is so indispensably important. Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret is, quite simply, the first great gay synthesiser album. Growing up in America, the rock and roll heartland, it’s hard to escape the understanding that electronic music is inherently gay-coded. But that’s an impression you won’t get from that first generation of artists, who presented as unpretentiously butch, and were more interested in singing about factories, spaceships, and telephone lines than about sex or romance with anybody. The deep relationship between queer culture and the music synthesiser simply wouldn’t have blossomed the way it did without Soft Cell, and the unforgettable worldwide success they achieved with “Tainted Love.” Without that foot in the door, the rise of groups like Bronski Beat, Erasure, and the Pet Shop Boys later in the 80s would’ve been unthinkable. That alone makes Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret a piece of essential listening for anyone seeking to understand the history of electronic music.

While Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret remains Soft Cell’s great masterpiece, and they never reached the same heights of commercial success again, they went on to release two additional studio LPs before disbanding in the mid-1980s. Marc Almond went on to have a fairly successful career as a solo artist, bagging a few additional hit singles in the UK, and David Ball became half of the house duo The Grid. The pair did re-unite in 2002, to produce a rather serviceable LP called Cruelty Without Beauty, which explores many of the same themes of their earlier work, albeit through a lens of Information Age dread.

Music: “Caligula Syndrome”

In 2019, we were told to expect the true final report of Soft Cell, in the form of a grand farewell concert entitled “Say Hello, Wave Good-Bye”--a title pulled from one of the singles off Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret. But, for all of the hype, it looks like that really won’t be the end for them after all, as Soft Cell have announced yet another reunion in 2021, and another new studio album in the works. So we’ll have to see what else these two have in store!

Overall, my favourite track on Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret is the single “Bedsitter.” It’s all about questioning whether the life of hedonistic excess is really worth it in the end. It’s about those moments one spends between benders, binges, and flings, gripped by emptiness and self-doubt. Therefore, the presence of “Bedsitter” adds some nuance, and undercuts a lot of the easy, simple conclusions we’re tempted to make, from a surface-level reading of the album as a free-love bonanza. With languid and melancholy verses clashing with a disconcertingly anthemic refrain, it’s filled with tension from within, and despite its lack of external conflict, it comes across as one of the more unsettling tracks we have to choose from. That’s all for today. Thanks for listening!

Music: “Bedsitter”

[bisluthq]

hi I was wondering what your favourite sapphic songs of Taylor's are? cause kaylors make such a big deal of the 'male perspective' in songs like our song, love story, mine. and I agree that wanting to experience that is gay in itself. but those songs just feel so straight country love songs that I really cannot see them as sapphic, particularly given that she also sings from the 'female perspective' to the man. so I wondered which songs feel most sapphic to you?

Ohh boy yeah the male perspective (except Betty where it’s gay in concept and feels very like when 15 year old me was obsessed with Blue Mountain State lmao) never screams gay to me. Let’s do a roundup of sapphic lyrics and themes.

In Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor says: “Drew walks by me... Can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly... The kind of flawless I wish I could be.” Now the whole song’s unseen pining is pretty gay to me. Like I say, there are unrequited straight songs but it’s very like... “why aren’t you understanding that I’m right here? How can you be so blind?” In Teardrops Taylor seems very aware that this person (well boy in the song) won’t ever notice her.

And sure we could say “well she has poor self-confidence” but then there’s that line in the bit I chose: “The kind of flawless I wish I could be” - why is she comparing herself to a boy? Do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you is such a big mood for queer women especially young queer women. I dunno, like my first few late elementary/early middle school crushes (and my first few crushes were on girls) were very like: “Do I want to be her? Do I want to be her best friend? Or do I want her to hold my hand? And why does her holding my hand make my heart beat faster and seem to have no effect on her?” There’s a definite way queer women compare ourselves to the object of our affections that straight women don’t seem to do that makes “my crush is the kind of flawless I wish I could be” feel extremely sapphic to me.

Oh bonus one from Teardrops: “The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star / He's the song in the car I keep singing. Don't know why I do” - why doesn’t she know? Like what’s confusing about this situation? She likes this dude why is it such a big fucking deal that she does? And again why does she want to be like him?

Anyway yeah that whole song.

Also Invisible is gay af. Like if you reverse the pronouns it’s the universal queer woman’s story of being in love with your friend. And this bitch is into some dude who isn’t anywhere near good enough for her and your affections are invisible but if she only knew - and she won’t - the two of you could have something beautiful together.

Stay Beautiful also reads gay but apparently she wrote it in the fourth grade so maybe her vocab was just bad idk.

On that album, Tied Together with a Smile and I’m Only Me When I’m With You are formally, officially, according to Tay’s explanations about her female friends btw. If you listen to those two songs and then the first two I listed they’re... not that fucking different lmao. It’s that same idea of “you get me and I just want you to be happy”. It’s all just... gay...

Fearless is probably one of the least gay albums overall IMO (tho I’m open to people making stuff gay) but it does give us the title track which is very fucking gay lol so it makes up for the number of straight sounding songs on here. First there’s this bit:

We're drivin' down the road

I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool

Run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

Man “I wonder if you know” is exactly that feeling I was describing like, I wonder if you realize this is more than friendship? I wonder if you know that I want you. And the “you’re just so cool” isn’t as explicitly “I want to be you” but it’s also got some of that shared energy. This person is so cool that them running their hand absent-mindedly through their hair is making her feel some type of way and yet she’s not sure if the person knows that. Now why wouldn’t this extremely cool guy know that the girl he’s giving a lift to is possibly interested?

Then there’s this bit:

My hands shake

I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss,

It's flawless,

Really something,

It's fearless.

Why does this first kiss require so much bravery? It’s not her first ever because “I’m not usually this way” implies she has been in a similar position before. And then:

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

Fearless

“I don’t know why” - well because you like this person! Girl, you’re into them. Oh, you’re not sure why because it’s a girl? Also lbr discussing clothes with your crush/partner is a very gay girl thing so just that addition of “my best dress” in the context of the rest of this incredibly gay song is... gay...

Oh and a bonus point:

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first

Fearless

Making that big a deal of handholding and saying it requires bravery is, you guessed it, gay af. 

Untouchable also delivers some gems: “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you” - I mean this is that whole vague confused forbidden vibes I spoke about before and the “And when you're close I feel like coming undone”. For me, it’s the fact that this person’s mere presence is enough to make her undone and she’s begging for a “taste of Heaven” feels... gay...

Jump Then Fall is also pretty damn gay to me. It’s got that dangerous “this could be dangerous” thing going on (“I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer”) but it’s also positive and... she’s saying jump and I’ll catch you which... like I get that it could be metaphorical but generally with het couples the dude would do the catching. Like if it was just that it’d not be that gay but again, the whole thing... is...

Whoa, oh, I need you baby

Don't be afraid, please,

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Baby, I'm never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

'Cause I'mma stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall, baby,

Jump then fall into me, into me

Like why are they both so scared? Why is she convincing herself and this person? What’s the danger? Is it just meant to be a “loss of virginity” song?

Then there’s the catching bit I mentioned:

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

When people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

Idk man. It’s gay.

By the way for two unrequited songs that fundamentally feel straight to me, look at The Other Side of the Door and You Belong With Me. I’m not saying you can’t have queer readings. But both of them have that “blame” angle to the guy’s lack of interest or inability to requite her feelings. Like she’s saying “I won’t tell you what I want or that I want you but you should figure it out ya big dummy!” which is inherently different to that “I know this is completely pointless and I’m barking up the wrong tree” energy of the other songs I mentioned. “I’m worried you’ll hurt me” songs are also different to “if you stand close to me I’ll completely fall apart but I can’t let you see” of... like... Untouchable.

Hey Stephen has the “I can't help it if you look like an angel” line but it’s generally straight for me because:

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they're beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

Do you see what I mean it’s like “I know you might not want me but you should” and that’s not a sapphic vibe. Like that’s to me what makes her gay sounding songs so much gayer like they capture a very specific feeling - being confused on if you want to be her, be her friend or fuck her dumb ass.

On Speak Now Taylor adds another type of gayness into her repertoire. She does the “I’m singing about a guy but it’s all about a girl” thing in Better Than Revenge. Now I know she has been called out a lot for this and she herself has now said obvi girls don’t steal your boyfriend BUT that’s not the part I find interesting. It’s shit like: “She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things” - like girl, that is psycho. Being obsessed with the fact that she is wearing vintage dresses is weird. And Taylor does this in the title track with her lengthy descriptions of the bridge compared to ZERO description of the guy. Not even “looking so handsome” - like there’s nothing. But the bride is “floating down the aisle like a pageant queen”.

Idk this is only three albums and only like my favorite gay bits and I already have so many and I haven’t even gotten to Treacherous 😭 I think I should make a hashtag for this and carry on later.

The point is, for me, it’s not about her singing a back and forth with a guy and a girl. It’s capturing supremely sapphic wlw feelings that I’ve never seen a straight female songwriter or musician convey, even where I’ve loved their music and felt it strongly resonated with me for other reasons.

[jeonggukkiepabo]

LONELY CHRISTMAS [MIN YOONGI] | FAMILY GATHERINGS

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been your second favorite holiday of the year, especially since you and your boyfriend Yoongi were literally inseperatable. Well, usually you were. But BTS gets more and more famous - world tours, award shows and other idol priorities making it almost impossible to spend this year’s Christmas with your second family. 

WARNINGS: so much fluff, but also the dirty kind of smut. fingering, oral (male and female receiving), choking, spitting, raw sex (i dont need to say anything, do i?), switch!yoongi, switch!reader, fighting for dominance, Yoongi being meow meow but also rawr.

QUOTES USED: 2. “That’s the eggnog talking. I’m cutting you off.” 4.  “Don’t be such a Scrooge.” 6. “It’s snowing.” 7. “Open it.” 9. “I’m just happy you’re here.” 24.  “Is this the part where we kiss?” 31.  “Help me decorate.” 

Now; Merry (early) Christmas, celebrate well & enjoy this filthy ride to hell.

Also, a big thanks to @holyfluffly​, who spent her precious time reading through this & checking for any mistakes. ♥

Since December started to come around – and you finally decided that it was time to stop binging on your favorite Halloween movies -, your house changed from spoopy graveyard to Rudolph’s shed. Fairy lights and beautiful garlands were hung up everywhere and once you plugged all your Christmas lights in, your house was lighter than “Son Goku in his final form”. At least that’s what Jungkook used to describe it when he first stepped into your winter wonderland. It was a tradition your boys always teased you with, but it was a tradition you brought with you from your home country that you wouldn’t want to miss. Your mother used to hang up lights everywhere, different Christmas shapes (you once had this weird reindeer light that looked more like a stabbed donkey, but… well) on every window and your balcony while she said “No matter how far apart we are, your light shines on me” – and 2 years after her death, was your most favorite thing to do once the calendar hit December. That, and ordering a shit ton of products from the LUSH and Bath and Body Works Christmas range. Jimin really loved the welcoming smell of cotton candy and gingerbread men, but Jin would sneeze when you sprayed all their pillows with the Snow Fairy body spray.

Usually, it was Taehyung’s favorite task to pick out a Christmas tree with you, decorating it with the entire family (that obviously consisted of all his band mates, their dogs and you), but this time it was just you, Tannie and Holly  walking around the tree field and picking a random one, much smaller than what  you’d usually get. There won’t be any presents underneath it anyway. Decorating wasn’t any fun, your Christmas playlist wasn’t helping, the smell of cotton candy wasn’t sweet enough. You made way too many Christmas cookies that wouldn’t be eaten. Your favorite pair of fuzzy socks had a huge hole in them and, oh well, your boyfriend wouldn’t be there for this year’s Christmas.

“Don’t be such a Scrooge, Y/N! It’s festive season!”, Jungkook yelled from somewhere behind Yoongi, energetic as always. “I wouldn’t be a Scrooge if my boyfriend and my friends would be here, celebrating the fest of love with me.” You mumbled quietly, a heavy sigh leaving your chest. It was currently the 17th of December, the first snow has fallen over Seoul, your fireplace crackling softly in the background. Yet, you were freezing. “Jagi, come on. It’s just another day of the year, we’ll be fine. We have New Year’s together, what’s the deal?” Your boyfriend didn’t care that much about festive traditions, hating the thought of Valentine’s Day or Halloween, not even speaking about the stress he always has around the Christmas season. For them, worldwide superstars, it was just another workday.

“You’re just happy you don’t need to wear one of our Christmas sweaters, huh?”, you scolded him, knowing his hate for the scratchy sweaters with the ugly patterns that you always made him and the boys wear for photos and your Christmas dinner at home. “Yeah, I won’t even start talking about those Rudolph ears you bought for our photo last year…”, Yoongi smirked. “I loved those!”, you vaguely heard the voice of Jimin in the background, Taehyung agreeing him on that. “I still wear those whenever I wash my face, thank you Y/N!” Sighing, you wished you were right there, with your loud and energetic boys, instead you were suffering on your own, the pout never leaving your lips.

“Boys, you’ve got 10 Minutes left!”, their tour manager interrupted your sulking, Yoongi nodding at him. “We’ll be right there.” He smiles at your pout, sticking out his bottom lip as well. “I’ll call you after the show, okay? Will you be still awake?” BTS was currently on world tour, playing somewhere in Europe and the time differences made it rougher than ever to talk to your boyfriend every day. You shrug, shivering under the thought of another sleepless night without your love, without the sounds of Taehyung and Jungkook fighting over some videogame and without the thought of Jin’s delicious breakfast to wake up to. “I guess I will, see you later, Yoongs. Bye Tae, bye Jungkook, bye Jiminie!”, you wave to the boys you considered family before smiling sadly at Yoongi. “Good luck, I’m sure you guys will rock that country! I love you.” “I love you too, Jagi. I’ll text you before I’m going to call you, okay? Try and rest.” “Bye, Noona!” Then the screen went black, all you could see was your own sad appearance in one of Yoongi’s oversized Hoodies.

Days went by, you didn’t have the chance to talk very much to Yoongi because of yours and their working schedule, they were currently in the States to record another hit song with some famous American singer that would explode on the Charts the second it comes out. Sure, you loved your boy’s music, you could listen to them sing and rap for hours, they worked hard and deserved all their success – but you didn’t wonder that all of them weren’t in a relationship. Tour life was hard, not only for their girlfriends but for them, too. A simple picture from across the world with a random girl could ruin relationships, just because of a misunderstanding. When you and Yoongi started dating a couple of years ago, Jin had a long-distance relationship – which already sucks for ‘normal’ human beings, but for worldwide superstars? A catastrophe because you couldn’t just come home to your significant other. It was over for them after a few months because she met a nice guy from her apartment complex, because he was there while Jin wasn’t. It was sad, especially for the Maknaes, because they needed affection, they needed their experience, they needed love. Instead, they had to have One Night Stands, making sure that those girls wouldn’t talk about their “night with BTS”. Truth be told it was too much work to find a girl to get laid, so they’d simply refuse, giving into their frustration and suffer from loneliness.

With Yoongi, things were easy. He didn’t get jealous whenever you hung out with other guys, but he also didn’t give you any reason to be jealous as well. People always describe him as “cold”, “depressed” or “weird guy that’s always quiet”, but once he warmed up to you, he was even funnier than Jin, his dry humor and loving gestures winning over your heart immediately. He was a family person, loving to be in a cozy home surrounded by his bandmates and you, even if he’d never say that out loud, all of them knew it. Yoongi was a loving person, whether he was showing it or not.

The 20th December rolled around quicker than you thought, last minute presents were bought, the house completely decorated and one Christmas movie after the other was playing on TV – but you were still sulking. “You didn’t even help me decorate! I had to do all of that by myself!”, you switched your phone camera so you could show Jimin how beautiful the living room looked, smiling at his little pout. “Noona!”, he whined, “Don’t be angry, okay? I promise you I’ll decorate for New Year’s all by myself.” “Don’t worry, Jiminie, it’s not your fault you can’t be here. Where’s Hobi? I’m watching his favorite Christmas movie, but I can’t get in the mood without my sunshine.” Jimin looks around, his lips twitching, but he remained quiet. “Jimin?” “He’s… uhhhh… He’s doing stuff with Yoongi and Tae?” You raise an eyebrow at him, taking another sip of the creamy eggnog you ordered online because it was nowhere to be found in Seoul. “Are you lying, Jiminie?” “No, but… Oh, Jungkook calls for me, bye Noona!” Sighing, you dropped your phone aside, head tilting towards the window while a soft smile appeared on your lips. It’s snowing.

On the 24th December, the boys had their last official concert of the year – in Australia. A 13-hour flight away, plus the two-hour time difference that made your heart sink, because whenever you were ready to call Yoongi, he was already too tired because of the concert and travel exhaustion. As one of the idol’s girlfriend, it was basically your job to watch their performances, you streamed all of them, no matter what time it was in your time zone, but it wasn’t as good as it would be when you were there. You loved going to their concerts, not standing backstage to watch the show, no. You preferred going into the crowd, singing and dancing along with ARMYs from around the world and watching your family from down there, enjoying their glow and sensual performances from a fan’s perspective. But today, it was just you and your laptop, watching the stream in your bed, a cup of your favorite tea beside you, Tannie on your lap and Holly somewhere besides you under the blanket, asleep like always. A smile was plastered on your face as you saw that all of them were wearing those “stupid Rudolph ears” – even if Yoongi looked grumpier than ever. You were fascinated as always – how could those cute little boys turn into Korean gods within two seconds? Of course, the Maknaes were the center of attention, fans chanting for them, dancing and screaming – you couldn’t deny the fact that they looked great, but exhaustion was plastered on all of their faces. Your eyes were plastered on the smol bean that caught your heart and as if he knew, he smiled into the camera, giving it a finger heart.

The 25th December was rough, you didn’t even want to get out of bed, staying under the covers for several hours after waking up. There was no reason so get up if there wasn’t anyone to give presents to. You didn’t use your phone, watching The Nightmare before Christmas again because if you acted like it was still Halloween, you wouldn’t be as sad that you were alone on your second favorite holiday of the year. It was around 12pm when the two dogs came into your room, whimpering because you didn’t take them out yet. “Ugh, fine, fine. Let me grab my shoes and we’ll go out”, you mumbled groggily while heaving your tired body out of bed. Pulling your slippers over your cold toes as you tied your hair out of your face. You didn’t plan to go out for too long, so you didn’t even try to make yourself look good. Humming the movie’s soundtrack, you made your way downstairs, surprised by the warm scent of cinnamon and vanilla that filled the house. “Huh, did I leave my candles on?” With furrowed eyebrows you  check the living room, not wanting to burn the entire house down on Christmas, but you stood still in shock when you realized why it smelled just the way it did.

Jimin and Jin were busy in the kitchen, baking cookies and cooking up your Christmas dinner. Jungkook and Taehyung were building a giant gingerbread house while Namjoon sat besides them, frustrated over his own ruined house laying in broken pieces. Hobi placing all of the presents underneath the Christmas tree while Yoongi sat on the couch, Holly on his lap and a loving smile on his face as he saw you in your sleepy state with a frown on your face. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

Suddenly, seven pairs of eyes were on you, smiles beaming across the entire room and seconds later you were caught in a warm, cozy group hug. “Surprise, Noona!”, Jungkook beamed as he pressed a kiss on your cheek, receiving a flip against his forehead from Yoongi. “Lips away, you can kiss Taehyung, not my girl.” Taehyung’s cheeks burned a bright red, Jungkook looked away while biting his lips and Jimin just smirked but pressed you tight against his body. “We’re glad to be back.” Jin groaned, pulling you out of the hug. “Let that poor girl alone, she needs to collect her thoughts first. Look at her”, he pointed towards your face, shock still written across it as you looked into each of your boys’ faces. “You… I mean, how… You were… Australia?” Your boyfriend laughed, now pulling you into a tight hug while burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the familiar scent that always calmed him down. “We’re here, that’s all that matters.” “We took the first plane back home, but we’ve been waiting for you to get up since 9AM, what did you do? It’s Christmas, usually you’d set an alarm at 6AM to run and check your presents”, Hobi pouted, pointing towards the tree.

“I didn’t have a reason to be up, so I watched The Nightmare before Christmas. But now, I’m just happy you’re here”, you smiled fondly at all of them, “Open your presents. Especially you, Babe. Open it!” You clap your hands excitedly, jumping up and down as you hand them their presents: a big, soft blanket for Jimin, so he can roll himself up in it and be cozy the entire holidays. A new Japanese knife for Jin, because Namjoon broke his favorite knife when he tried to cut through a book – don’t ask, nobody knows why he did that. Namjoon got a new KAWs figure he didn’t have the chance to buy yet while Hoseok got a new Palm Angels hoodie. Taehyung and Jungkook got some games for their PlayStation and a set of new controllers, because… well, Jungkook tends to destroy them when he’s in a rage. Yoongi’s present was hard to find because he basically has everything he wants and you weren’t too familiar with all those high end music technologies that you could give him, so you decided on a spa weekend over the holidays, just the two of you in a fancy wellness resort. Exactly what he needed after that tour. “Y/N, you must be poor by now! I should have gotten you a gift card or something”, Taehyung pouted, “You spent way too much on our presents!” You smiled, shaking your head and pressed a soft kiss on his cheeks. “Everything for my family. You’re all that I have left.”

The day went by way too fast; a fabulous Christmas buffet was set up by Jin, eggnog and wine handpicked by the youngest Maknae and Christmas movies of Jimin’s choice made up for all the days you spent sulking in your room. “I love you guys so much. I can’t believe you surprised me like that! Ugh, I really thought I had to spend Christmas with just the dogs.” You placed your head on Yoongi’s shoulder, cuddling deeper into the soft material of his hoodie while he rubbed your shoulder. “That’s the eggnog talking, love. You’re the anchor of our little family, we couldn’t be apart from you over the holidays, Jungkook would’ve driven us crazy and Namjoon would set the hotel on fire while trying to light a Christmas candle”, Yoongi mumbled. “A Christmas wonder! Yoongi confessed his feelings! Tweet that, Namjoon!”, Hoseok yelled while earning a slap on the back of his head from Jimin. “Don’t scare him, he’s like a deer right now, if we just ignore it, maybe he’ll say something nice about us too!” Yoongi just rolled his eyes, pulling you closer toward his small frame while mumbling “Idiots”.

It was past  midnight, your tummies filled with delicious snacks and desserts, brain fogged because of the amount of alcohol all of you drank that day – and you were just happy to finally be in bed with your boyfriend again. “You know how lonely the nights were without you? Not just you, but also the boys. I even missed Jungkook’s animal imitations”, you sighed, “I missed breakfast, without Jin all I ate was toast and cucumbers. I’m lucky to be part of your family.” Yoongi smiled, a precious, rare smile that showed all his love for you.

“I had time to think on tour, you know. It’s rough, you not being there with me, I saw all those places, cities and famous buildings, but didn’t have you to share those moments with. I had dinner with Taehyung right in front of the Eiffel Tower, I shared a Pizza in Venice with Jungkook, had beer with Hoseok in Berlin, but I wish I had all those moments with you, love. So, I’m bad at this stuff, you know that. The entire world knows that, but you also know that I love you. And I wish you could be the person by my side on tour, on every tour. I wish you could be my +1 at events, dinner parties or during award shows. I even talked to our management, because an ‘official girlfriend’ is dangerous for all of us. But I didn’t want the world to meet you as my girlfriend, Y/N. I want them to finally meet you as my wife, the woman that won’t ever leave my side. This is probably trashy and I could use better opportunities for that, but… Y/N, my love, my flower, my angel, would you marry me?” Yoongi, the smooth guy he was, pulled out a simple yet beautiful rosé gold ring – without a box – from the pocket of his sweats, sitting in front of you on your bed, crossed legs and a nervous smile on his face. You couldn’t hide the pout on your face, lips quivering and tears dwelling in your eyes while you looked at the beautiful man in front of you, the beautiful ring in his hands and outside, snowflakes fall from the sky. Everything was perfect. “Yoongi… Yes! Fuck, of course!”, you jumped into his lap, not caring about the pling your engagement ring made when it fell to the floor, because right now, your fiancé was more important. You showered his face in kisses, not caring the slightest about the grumpy noises he made – even if they were fake, because he was just as happy as you were. His smile was beautiful, something you didn’t see that much because he seldom smiled so brightly even his bottom teeth were showing. “Is that the part where we kiss?”

You didn’t hesitate to press your lips onto his, soft and loving, sweet and tender. “Min Yoongi, is that the part where you turn into the sweet little kitten your fandom thinks you are?” Smirking, Yoongi growls at you, showing you his teeth once more. “Oh baby, I’m going to show you that nothing on my body is little.” His lips were back on yours, his hands buried in your hair as he made his way between your legs, almost crushing you with the comfortable weight of his body on yours. Whatever loving, sweet innocent kiss you shared before, this one was completely different. It gave way to heated passion as you both continue the lustful, erotic exchange. Yoongi’s shaking but skilled hands started to peel off your ugly Christmas sweater and the rest of your clothes, falling to the floor forgotten, before he gently bites along your jaw and the nape of your neck, leaving a trail of love bites on the way down there. Your moans fill the room that still smells like cinnamon and cotton candy, combined with Yoongi’s musky scent and the sweet scent of a heated make-out session. With his lips still attached to your soft skin, you take the opportunity to catch him off guard and flip both your bodies into a new position; you now straddling his slim waist. Yoongi’s lips widened in shock, then turned into a bright smirk. “Someone’s feisty.” You just smile at him sweetly, cutting off his words as you wrap your hands around his beautiful throat, leaning your face towards his ear. “I wouldn’t speak  like that in such a position, Babe.”

Yoongi’s voice hitched, “Y/N”, he whined. The same hand that restricted his airways comes up to slightly slap his scruffed cheek, but it had still enough force to leave a sting that reminded him not to speak up anymore. “Aren’t you going to be a good boy? Or should I call you a good little kitten? Would you like that?” He shakes his head quickly, baring his teeth once more. “Shut that, love. You won’t be able to tame a lion. I’m not a small kitten.” He knows he could switch positions any time, hell, you knew that too. But you also knew that he enjoyed that position  too much to change anything now. Shaking your head in displeasure, you crawl down the bed to be at eye level with his beautiful cock. The cock  that had you limping almost every night, that never fails to give you pleasure, that already sends tingles to your core. Your hands were cold against the prominent vine that ran from his shaft to his leaking tip, red and sensitive as you licked your finger to circle around it. Tiny moans – mewls – left his mouth, causing you to giggle. You knew it. His balls were tight, full and hurting. He was away for so long, having almost no time to pleasure himself. You cooed, the other hand coming up to gently play with them, rolling them around as you kept applying pressure to his tip. Yoongi’s groans got louder and louder once your mouth was finally working its magic on him, his hands buried inside the loose strands of your hair, trying to shove you down deeper. Much to your displeasure.

You hissed, letting go of his length as you crawled up to sit on his toned chest. Smiling, you slid your fingers through your soaked folds, holding them in front of his sweaty face. “Suck.” Oh, and how he sucks. His tongue working circles around your digit, collecting your sweet juices as he hums happily. “You’re my toy. A fucking toy, do you understand that? You don’t get to make rules here, Yoongi. If I want to suck your cock, I’ll do it how I want, not how you want it. Or did I miss something?” You made sure his eyes never left yours, fingers still inside his  mouth – and you just decided to shove them down a bit deeper, making him gag around them just like he wants you to gag around his cock. “I asked you something, pretty babe. Mind answering?” Yoongi hums again, not able to speak with your fingers down his throat, but it was good enough of a try for you. It wasn’t every day you got the chance to dominate Min Yoongi, you were sure to getting everything out of it. You pulled your now wet digits out of his mouth, wiping away his spit somewhere in his mint colored hair, as you turned around to sit on his face, just like he loves you to do. By now, his only problem was holding back his load, eating your pussy wouldn’t help with that though. “Now, are you going to cum for me, precious? While devouring my pussy? I bet you’d like that, huh?” Yoongi hums again, his hands already on your ass to spread your cheeks, allowing him to dive deep into your pussy, drinking your juices, slurping them down like a fine, ripe wine. Teasingly, you continued to jerk him off, enjoying the tension in his body, his concentration on your pussy rather than his own orgasm. “Mh, wait. I changed my mind. Hold it, you don’t have my permission just yet”, you laughed as you squeezed his balls – but he wasn’t able to control it or hold it back. His cock twitched uncontrollably, one small rope of cum leaving the tip. “Ugh, look at that”, you sighed while shaking your head, sitting down deeper on his face – your ass now flat against his forehead as his tongue, the oh so famous rapper tongue, worked its wonders.

If Yoongi was frustrated, he didn’t show it. He knew better. Even though it was his first real orgasm in weeks, his first ruined orgasm in weeks, he stood up the man he was and continued what he was here for. Pleasuring his fiancé. Just before your orgasm arrived, you crawled down again, collecting the small puddle of cum with your tongue and fed it to your soon to be husband. You let him taste himself, he swallowed greedily. “Such a good boy”, you purr while wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Now, I hope you know who you belong to.” Yoongi just nods, licking his lips to still taste you. “Tell me who you belong to, Yoongi”, you command.

“You, babe. Only you. I belong to you”, Yoongi moans out as you started to grind against his smooth thigh, picking up your desired pace as you used him to satisfy your own desire. His hands were on your hips, guiding you and helping you to speed up, but just before your orgasm reached his peak, just one little rock of your hips missing, he turned you around, leaving you with a ruined orgasm as well. “Fucking son of a bi-“, your frustration interrupted by Yoongi’s teeth biting into your nipple, his hand smacking your other tit. “Oh, that’s not a nice word, baby”, he pouts while pinching both of your erect buds with a bit too much force. A sharp stinging sensation radiating through your body. “Fuck, Yoongi”, you moaned, desperate for release. “Now, now”, he tzed as he looked down at your trembling body. “Sucks to be played with, huh?” Elegant fingers started to rub circles into your swollen nub, your body rising from the mattress just to be pushed back by your fiancé. “Still”, he orders, plunging two of his long, delicate fingers into your dripping hole. Yet, you needed more. “Yoongi”, you whined. “Are you going to be a good girl now? Instead of a fucking brat?” “Yes!”, you cried out, tears running down your cheeks, hoping he’d just do something. “Good, because bad girls disgust me”, he spoke through clenched teeth as he pulled out his fingers and shoved his cock inside you within seconds. “Fuck fuck fuck, yes!”

“Shut up! Or do you want the boys to come in and join you, huh? You want our little Maknae see how stuffed you are?” Yoongi always knew about your affection for Jungkook, the way his doe eyes always make your heart jump, leaving it impossible to deny whatever he wanted from you while addressing you as his ‘favorite Noona’. You were weak for him, but you wouldn’t want him to see you in such a situation. Shaking your head in shame, you pout as you dig your heels into his ass to get him to move faster. “Make me cum, please. I love you”, you whine, word for word leaving your lips as he thrusts deep and powerful into your clenching hole. Just before another beg could leave your lips, Yoongi’s index finger slipped past them, your chin securely trapped between his thumb and middle finger. His other hand slowly found its place on your neck. “Look at you”, he smiles. “Such a good girl, knowing how to beg like a big girl.” You whimper again, squeezing around him as he slowed his pace with a devilish smirk. Your lips played with the tip of his finger while the thumb of his other hand came down to circle your clit painfully slow, spitting onto it and watching his finger mixing it with your arousal. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, both of your hands gripping the wrist that was choking you. “Tighter, please”, you gasped out, enjoying the feeling of almost no air coming to your lungs. Oh, how Yoongi loved to see you struggle for air, just as much as you loved to be on the receiving end. “You gonna come for me, angel?”, he growled as he tightened his grip, already feeling his own orgasm approaching. “Going to cum around my thick cock, huh?” You nod, already seeing spots in your vision, your orgasm shooting through your body just like a firework as soon as Yoongi released you, allowing the blood to shoot back into your head. You couldn’t control your body anymore, gushing against him as you rode out your high with closed eyes. That alone triggered Yoongi’s orgasm, a loud scream leaving his lips as he finally released inside you. “Fuck, you squirted all over me”, he groaned while looking at the mess you made, his stomach glistering in your juices. “I don’t care, I want to snuggle my Grinch now”, you pouted with grabby hands, smiling happily as Yoongi obeyed.

“I think we lost the ring somewhere between our clothes”, Yoongi mumbles with his sleepy voice, “I hope Taehyung won’t find it, he was the one that chose it – ‘If Y/N says no, I’ll wear that one happily’.” Suddenly you’re wide awake, knees on the floor and digging through your clothes to find the symbol of your love. “Got it!”, you yelled as you threw it to Yoongi, holding your left hand in front of his face. “You’ve got the honor, babe.” Smiling, he slid the ring over your finger. The black diamonds sparkling in the dim light of your room, the rosé gold complimenting your skin tone perfectly, just like the man in front of you does. Your fiancé, soon to be husband, the love of your life. “Merry Christmas, love.”

[borisbubbles]

28. ITALY

Diodato - “Fai Rumore”

And we’re back to our usual disconnect, where everyone pretends to love Italy and I don’t. I cannot wait for all the Italian crazies to be OUTRAGED by this ranking (28/41 is fine for an entry I don’t care about...?) and reblog this all over the tumblrverse and inflate my reader stats. 😈 but first, let’s discuss what we have on our hands here. 

Song Analysis

There’s no way this post *won’t* end up offensive to every Fai Rumore fan, so I will resort to brutal honesty. I never, ever, *ever* cared about “Fai rumore”. In fact, I’d even say it’s strongly overrated by the gross of the Eurovision fandom? 

Okay so here’s the deal. I will not deny that “Fai Rumore” has several things going for it. The song has emotional gravitas, Diodato has a great voice and acts very well. It’s technically precise and well produced. It is very competent at what it sets out to be, which is a very standard HQ Sanremo Power Ballad. 

But here’s where I feel like I deviate from the norm: You may think “wow Fai Rumore! How brilliant, meticulous and poised”, but I think “how expected, overtly earnest and unfun?” 

The problem is, this is Boris’s Bubble and Boris doesn’t enjoy songs that feel like they belong inside a trophy cupboard, and “Fai rumore” is exactly one of those songs, don’t lie. So “meticulous, poised and brilliant” you say, well *I* say “how overtly earnest, unfun and aloof”? I have a Spotify - if I wanted to listen to good music, I’d just use that? Or one of my like 15 Youtube Playlists containing non-ESC entries? Why would I watch Eurovision, or Sanremo for that matter, for the good music when there are so many other (and easier) options available for me that align better to my tastes?

The fact that “Fai Rumore” is *too* perfect for me (and therefore very hard to empathize with imo) is one thing, which leads to other thing I need to point out. I’ll let my friend Matthew take over here, who wrote this paragraph on ESCUnited right after Diodato’s selection: 

That final sentences is bone-chilling because it’s so, so true. “I AM A SOPHISTICATED MUSIC FAN BECAUSE I FOLLOW ~FESTIVALE DI SANREMO~” is such a common trope of elistism (like, replace “San Remo” with any quality newspaper, nobel prize winning author or classical music composer and you’ll find to be nearly universally applicable to snobs across the globe), but I find it specifically ugly in Eurovision.

You see, would the same courtesy be extended to a country of lower prestige if they got a Fai Rumore? Would the same courtesy be extended to a person of colour? or a woman? How about others songs that, like Fai Rumore, emulate their country’s musical traditions (Fai Rumore is SO italian you can smell the basil), except those traditions fall outside of the western European bubble? See, it doesn’t bother me that Italians like Fai Rumore and are proud of it. They’re Italians. Of course they are! I don’t judge them for it. I don’t rly care if the odd introvert finds solace in a song of this calibre. But as soon as Matthew made the aforementioned post, people who had previously rated Diodato as a 5/6 already started adjusting their scores to 10s and 12s and, well...

It bothers me that the same fanbase that DEMANDS cultural diversity (Diodato) and/or MOAR ETHNOBOPS (Efendi) refuse to accept a Solovey or an Origo -which are a thousandfold more layered, sophisticated and daring- as an equal. 

It bothers *even more* me that people are willing to immediately give Italy a plethora of chances (especially when they choose men! fuck institutionalised sexism!), while not doing the same for a Belarus. Belarus HAS no clear musical scene or funds to really produce good music, yet produced a ridiculously good NF (with a VERY righteous winner - yes, Chakras, but also: Chakras) I’ve seen snobs SLAM VAL, mercilessly despite being an excellent left-field pick (god imagine if Yan had won Eurofest for a sec. What a nightmare). Italy, otoh, also delivered a sterling NF, have *a VERY* rich musical tradition, tons of talent and money and production value... and they still went the lowest common denominator available, and yet they receive praise, without so much as a whisper of protest from our so-called “value seekers”. This level of hypocrisy and double standard wielding, all in the name of wishing to be taken seriously delivers *such* a toxic undercurrent to Eurovision and has absolutely soured me on Diodato. This isn’t his fault, but sadly he’s become a weapon of mass misconstruction and well just because I hate the guy who pressed the big red button more doesn’t mean I automatically like ICBMs. As we come near the songs I actually give a damn’ about, I will start calling the shitpociries out. Brace yourself for it, when I rank Solovey and Da Vidna inside my top five.

Want some examples specifically pertaining to the Diodato fandom? Sure, I’ll give you some:

EJEMPLO UNO: 

Diodato fanboys openly coddling him on social media post-lockdown all “PROTECT OUR POOR MUNCHKIN FROM THE CORONAVIRUS”. Like... he’s a *thirty-eight year old adult* he can take care of himself, BACK UP OFF HIM you freaks. 

EJEMPLO DOS: 

The relevant media having baptized Diodato as THE SAVING GRACE OF THE LOCKDOWN, ITALIANS SINGING ‘FAI RUMORE’ FROM THEIR BALCONIES IN DEFIANCE OF COVID-19, which is such a bullshit narrative it’s turned my hair from black to brown.  Yes, the Italians sang “Fai Rumore”. What they don’t tell you is that they also sang many other Italian and non-Italian songs, including humanitarian anthem “Roar” by Kety Perr (cue to Katy Perry being like “OMG I’M SO HONORED TO INSPIRE SO MANY ITALIANS ::hungarianflagemoji::” on twitter.). CNN Like, Eurovision related media LOVE portraying it as a ~life-chaning confort anthem~ - the reality is that “Fai rumore”, while playing its part, was merely a tiny spoke in a giant wheel. 

EJEMPLO QUATRO:

Well take a look at how many people will reblog this post and slam it for daring to point out, what I think are really obvious truths to anyone who doesn’t suffer from musical myopia. 

In the end, the song is okay and it’s okay to love it. But if you ‘love’ it because you’ve convinced yourself that you must, and not because it genuinely means something to you, I don’t think you have grounds to criticise to criticise anyone but yourself.

NF Corner

As I said, I didn’t follow San Remo live (I never do! *gasp* blasphemy, I know), but I did plan to check it for this write-up except RAI deleted every live performance? And they won’t let me embed the few remaining vids either? 

Anyway, this happened so right-click-open this a new tab and then return once you’ve finished it. 

Backstage feuds being fought out LIVE on the stage in front of millions of viewers 😍 Apparently Morgan and Bugo were at loggerheads for a while, and had a massive row RIGHT before their performance on the second night, which caused Morgan to stray from the script and sing all the insulting things Bugo told him *to Bugo* instead of the actual lyrics of their duet. 😍 😍 😍 Bugo IMMEDIATELY stormed off the stage to the point where Amadeus had to like... literally tell the gobsmacked audience that Bugo had left the building 😍 😍 😍. This is some god-tier pettiness and I’m completely in awe of it. DEITIES. 😍

aside from Sincerogate, I would’ve embedded vidoes that contained the DRAMA (Rancore), CAMP (Achille) and UNABASHED WEIRDNESS (Levante) of this year’s line-up, but I guess RAI really doesn’t like for people to have fun. Oh well. 

Italy 2020 vs Italy 2021

Diodato is male and Italian, so yeah, guaranteed top 10 in Rotterdam, no matter what happens. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Cynicism aside, televoters WOULD have flocked to it without thinking twice (for exactly those two reasons), passing over many better entries in the process and well... I’m tired and exhausted and I think you can guess I am not very impressed by this likely outcome. 

Not sure what RAI’s strategy for 2021 is (lol it’s RAI - they don’t have a strategy. besides Italy have bigger fish to fry than the Eurovision Song Contest as you know), but I’m not very invested either way. I could imagine them internally selecting Diodato if he’s willing to do ESC in 2021, but if this was a one-off deal (which I think it was), they will probably select another plain white bloke for you to obsess over, so no worries :-) #TuttoVaPene

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’m sort of conflicted? On one hand, god Fai Ru*snore* is SO typical of “Italy in Eurovision”, not just from a musical perspective but from a point of reverence as well. On to the other hand, when are the fanbases *not* acting insane w/r/t Italy?

San Remo was  really crazy this year, enough for me to award Italy a couple Senheads. However... if I wanted to see nice and inoffensive triumph over a bunch of deranged, gimmicky, ott masterpieces, I’d just rewatch #London1977? (offensive take #16: “people that like Marie Myriam the most in 1977 do not understand Eurovision”) Ehhhh whatevs.

Score: 2 Senhits out of 5. 

[flying-elliska]

Portrait of a Lady on Fire !!!!!!!! A review pt 1/?

Honestly this is the kind of movie where watching any other movie after it for a while feels superfluous. It's like...an Experience and honestly it feels like it rearranged my way of Looking at Things. While watching it parts of it were just extremely known and relatable, a sort of ah yes I have been there. At the same time I had this very strange feeling of "I didn't know it could be like this for real" and "oh wow so it can be like this !!!!!". So hmmm I really loved it.

It's funny because my fave movies are usually not this slow or quiet. There is a lot of empty space in this movie and it's slow to start but once you're inside it's such an incredible breath of fresh air. This fits the story as in the beginning the situation is uncomfortable and the heroines are evaluating each other, but as they create this bubble for themselves, you get drawn into this feeling of warmth, intimacy and liberation.

For a movie between two women it is remarkably unsentimental and that's very enjoyable, if a bit disorienting. The women move in stark, empty spaces, and they are not trying to fill it with pleasantries. Heloise is too angry and she is a little wild, no doubt both having to get used to the world outside the convent and brutalized by grief. Marianne is unsure of how to deal with her and made uneasy by the secret she has ro carry. The movie is honest about basic facts of life in those times without dramatizing : abortions, forced marriages, true love not getting its way. It has an almost stoic core. It's very interesting. The facts of the story are heartbreaking but it never wallows in that sadness. Instead, it gives space to the things that truly matter, that it turns its artist gaze on ; the bond between these women and alm that flows from that, in precisely choreographed brushstrokes of glances and breaths. It feels like an extremely disciplined way of telling story. The vibe is sparse and airy, the dialogue minimalistic, its use of timing impeccable. Each frame looks like a painting and yet is brimming with tension ; I feel like a lot of that has to do with how characters - Heloise especially - are often filmed in movement, half disappearing, turning around. It's slow but never boring. That strict frame gives an incredible space for deep, real feelings to develop, the kind that take you by surprise and turn you upside down like a thunderclap.

It's been called a Female Gaze manifesto by the realisator so it's not surprising that I am in love with its gender optics, as much for what it does as what it doesn't. The intimate scenes for example manage to be remarkably erotic while completely eschewing male gaze typical objectification most often used in wlw s*x scenes. There are no lingering shots of naked bodies. The only glimpse of genitals is in a totally non sexual context. At the same time it's remarkably frank about what is happening, via the use of a metaphor-shot that made me giggle with glee. The focus remains on the tension and later complicity between the characters. They look so into each other in a way that feels almost intrusive to watch, soooo rarely shown by actresses playing wlw on screen. Also, kudos to the period appropriate body hair. It's so well done.

The absence of men from most of the movie is just great. Too many wlw movies still center the question "but what will men think ?" and even though that question can be relevant in real life we also deserve stories where it doesn't matter one bit. And the solidarity between women just has something magical about it and also incredibly true to life. I don't like clichés but I grew up mostly surrounded by women and there was this naturalness of helping each other out and forming family around that, even if temporary. It's not rah-rah girl power, it's a very grounded mutual aid guys don't help out or aren't worth shit so we have to rely on each other sort of thing. The subplot centered around helping Sophie, the maid, get an abortion, was just so well done because it breaks down the boundaries of class between all of them. They act like caring big sisters towards Sophie, they play card games and read books together...It's also a great way to bring the two lovers to be together.

And from there there is a centering of female creativity that happens that is incredible. The painting of course, but escaping the bonds of assigned purpose when Heloise starts participating in the elaboration of the painting. Heloise directing Marianne to paint a recreation of the abortion scene, a part of women's lives mostly untold. Marianne playing piano for Heloise, bringing new life and passion into her isolated life. The village women singing in this eerie, powerful way all together around the fire. Them reading and discussing classical stories. One very interesting piece of symbolism is the piece of embroidery abandoned by Heloise's sister, before her death, and then Sophie starting to embroider again, a bouquet of flowers we see decaying slowly. It's that female soldarity and liberation of creativity that allows the love story to blossom, or more exactly it happens at the same time as if creating a world in which queer love can exist or vice versa, queer attraction powering the development of such a world. You can so obviously see that women being together is good for them, on any level.

This also ties back into the stoïcism of the story. Because their love story doesn't have a happy ending, but the movie expressedly tells us that that's not what matters. Of course, it's heartbreaking. But it wants us to pay attention to the joy of creativity, not the sadness. That's the point of the Orphée myth retelling and making the "poet's choice". They won't see each other again but what they experienced together has changed them fundamentally and will power their creativity for the rest of their lives. We can see it as Marianne teaching younger girls to paint by being the model herself, or painting the myth. Heloise commissioning that painting with the book, inserting a reference to their love in her very wifely painting. And her enjoying the music Marianne first played for her fully and live and having so much joy in her life through art. It's so refreshing to have a movie going beyond "period homophobia was tragic ://" because despite often awful circumstances queer love has often brought such bright joy, creativity and perspective to the lives of the people experiencing it. Even if they weren't allowed a "happy ending", there is so much more to love than that. And it feels so liberating this idea that those bright moments are worth living for themselves beyond where they will lead. It's a difficult but fundamental perspective on life, I think.

Anyway I have lots more to say but let's not write a book just yet. All in all this is definitely one of my favorite love stories of all times and I am hard to please so like...yeah.