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6blackfilin9 · 3 years ago

Note

I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

#my art #naruto #naruto shipuden #akatsuki #naruto akatsuki #akatsuki kakuzu #kakuzu #naruto anko #mitarashi anko #kakuanko #they are very entertaining disaster

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ash-rabbit · 3 years ago

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Reading Recs for Each Entity

When Magnus ended, I thought back on different media that I've enjoyed, some of them fit very neatly into the dread powers, unsettlingly so in some cases, others not so much. If you enjoyed the show for it's horror, and want more of that, then I've got a list for you.

Assume everything here is rated M and has some gore, death, and general dark themes.

Beneath the cut, because there's 15 of these fears. Feel free to add on if you like. By the way, I'm citing writers, not directors when there's a movie.

Beholding

1984 - by George Orwell: Classic surveillance society. Very boring to start off with classical lit, but it was and still is a relevant commentary on society.

Psycho-Pass - by Gen Urobuchi: Has anyone read Hobbes' 'Leviathan'? It's like if that met psychological horror. This anime engages in what it means to live in a world where crimes can be stopped before their ever committed due to the Psycho-Pass system. This system allows authorities to monitor ones emotional state and likelihood of turning violent. I think there's a brief mention of sexual violence, but it's been a hot minute since I've watched.

Panopticon Theory - by Michel Foucault: Yes, political theory. I've read it multiple times (not by choice) and it offers some interesting insights into the world of the Magnus Archives. It's greatly influenced how I regard the dread powers, that being that Smirke's 14 is incredibly limiting.

Buried

Nutty Putty Caving Incident - A real life news story. The only time I can say I've felt properly horrified and deeply unsettled. If 'Lost John's Cave' was the statement that gave you nightmares, avoid this. It's true and it's tragic.

Corruption

Fate/Zero - by Gen Urobuchi: Another anime by the Urobutcher. If you thought Jane Prentiss was excellent this is the show for you. It's excellent for all sorts of reasons, and engages with other avenues of horror but when I heard the Prentiss statement, I was brought back here. Living hives, magical evil wasp larvae writhing beneath someone's skin, it happens. Your warning is that anything bad that can happen to a child, will happen to children here. I mean it.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - by Oscar Wilde: Moral decay, and it's just a damn good read. It's not conventional Corruption material, but the corruption of one's soul in the pursuit of beauty and pleasure is somewhat fitting I should think. I like it, so it's here. Also Jonah Magnus vibes.

Dark

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - by a bunch of people: it's a movie. Not an orthodox choice but I feel the dark deals better in ignorance then the literal. Err, no spoilers, but nothing particularly bad happens, it just sort of tugs.

The Flowers - Alice Walker: A short story about innocence and ignorance. Not particularly spooky, but it hits you at the end.

Allegory of the Cave - Plato: Just a good preliminary reading that provides an alternate lens. It's not spooky, I just like it.

Desolation

All is Quiet on the Western Front - by Erich Maria Remarque: The effects of war on the youth, child soldiers, and the death of innocence. It's bleak, and miserable, but it's honest and Remarque and his family were persecuted by Nazi-Germany because the book carried 'anti-german' (anti-war) sentiments. There's a movie as well.

Pan's Labyrinth - by Guillermo del Toro: Also anti-war, with bad things happening to good people and children. A bit heavy handed with it's symbolism, but hey it's a two hour movie. Also be prepared to read subtitles. It's very good, and if you haven't seen it, I don't want to say too much.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - by Ken Kesey: There's a more popular movie version as well. Corrupt systems, cutting people down until they fit into a socially appropriate mold. It's fairly dark, and has lobotomies since that was what, the 60s? I watched this in my catholic high schools film studies class, so I don't think there's anything overly egregious. But an interesting lens for the Desolation.

The Count of Monte Cristo - by Alexandre Dumas: For a fun revenge romp. The titular count gets his revenge after everything he's ever loved has been stolen from him and looks to do the same to his betrayers. Err sexual violence happens here as well. A bit of background that might inform the reader: Dumas' father was half black and affected by the 1802 discrimination laws, causing him- a high ranking military officer to be dismissed. The precursor to Monte Cristo, 'Georges' deals more heavily in themes of colonialism and racial discrimination.

End

Masque of the Red Death - by Edgar Allen Poe: You know why this is here. Warning for plague allegories and people not properly social distancing.

Nothing in the Dark - (Twilight Zone): No words needed, it's the Twilight Zone.

Death Parade - by Yuzuru Tachikawa: This is your fun suggestion. It's light for the most part, but there are scenes and moments that will absolutely hit you.

Extinction

Godzilla - A whole bunch of people: Atomic bomb fear during a time of censorship. Everything is an allegory.

Flesh

Tokyo Ghoul - by Sui Ishida: It's the most Magnus-y out of all my suggestions and I desperately want to see a crossover between them. The manga is better as the anime tends to brutalise plot points and water down the horror. Deals with becoming a cannibal, the nature of humanity, and other things. Warning for mentions of child abuse. Kaneki has a sort of - if Martin was the Archivist vibes. Not 1-1 of course, but if I had to make a comparison, that's the one.

Lamb to the Slaughter - by Roald Dahl: Arguably more slaughter, but hey I'm not giving you any warnings. I read this short story for ninth grade english, so I'm sure you can survive this one.

Hunt

Se7en - by Andrew Kevin Walker: A movie about a detective hunting serial killer. It's excellent, there's gruesome murder scenes. It's from the 90s go watch it.

Frankenstein - by Mary Shelley: From the perspective of Mr. Frankenstein it's the terror of being hunted, from the monster's perspective it's the horror of being alone. It's good, a pillar of sci-fi written by a teenager, don't snub this because it's classical lit.

The Bone Collector - by Jeremy Iacone: Another detective hunting a murderer. Also from the 90s and also excellent. Look, the 90s don't pull their punches, it's got blood and lots of it. A favourite film of mine.

Lonely

The Metamorphosis - by Franz Kafka: Turning into a big bug does not a corruption/flesh story make.

Passengers (2016)- by Jon Spaihts: I hate this movie, it's clearly a horror, but they try to pass it as a romance. Anyway, for psychological lonely horror and manipulation, this is a movie for you.

Slaughter

Go watch a classic slasher film. I don't care for senseless violence, so I don't like most of this sort of media.

Read up on a war or a riot. Learn how your nation's government discriminates and persecutes minorities historically and today.

Sweeney Todd - by Hugh Wheeler: The musical is the better known version. Some flesh horror here as well. It's not really senseless, as I think the Slaughter should be, but hey, we need substance here.

Spiral

The Giver - by Lois Lowry: A utopia that is not quite right. Read for school when I was nine, I'm sure you can all live without a warning list.

The Matrix - by the Wachowskis: Reality is an illusion, and the Universe is a hologram.

Truman Show - by Andrew Niccol: You know why this is here.

Stranger

Coraline - by Neil Gaiman: The scariest children's book. Other!Mother and all that jazz are so very Strange.

The Landlady - by Roald Dahl: Taxidermy.

Vast

Lovecraft: I'm sorry, I can only think of him. No one else is so ignorant as to be able to capture the horror of things beyond their ken.

Web

Medea - by Euripides: The God's suck, it's a Greek tragedy, bad things happen to everyone without discrimination. Children are harmed, Medea is dosed by Aphrodite, Jason is literally the worst.

Animal Farm - by George Orwell: It's anti-authoritarian and deals with the mutability of laws and how uneducated masses are sheep. . . literally. You will feel horrified, it's a short read.

There's also some children's story about a spider/snake(?) and gluttony that I've been looking for, for the past year. It's pretty similar to Mr. Spider, but the villain consumes so many victims that he becomes too large to leave his den and is blockaded in by those he terrorized, and it's heavily implied that he starves to death. For the life of me I can't remember a title, but then, it's been 15 or so years.

#the magnus archives #tma #the beholding #the buried #the flesh #the corruption #the end #the dark #the vast #the web #the stranger #the lonely #the spiral #the slaughter #the hunt #the desolation #the extinction #tma entities #spooky recs

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venomous-system · 2 years ago

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Hello.

I want to post here about something, since the system is somewhat public and I felt like I need to explain this.

There are several introjects in Venom whose sources are the villains in their stories. These alters range from morally gray/ambiguous characters (ex: Mikey and Hanma from Tokyo Revengers, and practically any Tokyo Ghoul fictive, mainly Ayato) to outright evil/extremely problematic (ex: Tetta Kisaki, Ryo Asuka, and myself).

None of these alters are persecutors. None of them are dangerous. They all have their reasons for forming, mostly as coping mechanisms for the body/system as a whole. I’m not about to air the traumas that caused such alters to form publicly, but the short version more or less comes down to this: the two previous hosts (original body holder included) had bad people in their life who constantly victim-blamed and guilt tripped, and it left both of them feeling like monsters.

The body is diagnosed as autistic, among other things, and without fully knowing if it’s caused by the autism or not, both previous hosts had the habit of going numb in painful situations. The psychiatric professional we’ve been mainly treated by refers to this as a “crisis mode,” and says it’s not a bad thing to have. On the contrary, it’s a self preservation tool that just helps the body to stay calm and handle things logically without having a panic attack right away. The meltdowns, shutdowns, and panic attacks that come from these moments usually happen later, after the dust has settled. In the moment, however, it’s much more common that tears not be shed. Instead, the physical reaction of the body, especially with our previous host, is to become practically robotic. For a reference to what the speech and behavior would look and sound like, look to Abed in the show Community or practically any other autistic-coded character.

The way this has caused a negative effect is mostly during arguments, as a child, or as a reaction to abuse. We as a whole have dealt with abuse from multiple angles and sources. I will not go into detail about it on a public Tumblr post, but the longest period of it came from a girl who was two years older than the physical body. The system was physically 10 when meeting her, and 20 the last time we saw her. She has abused, blackmailed, and stalked Venom during those ten years. One of the worst things, however, was reactive abuse. She constantly used fake tears, rumors, and dog whistles to make our previous hosts feel evil for the way they experienced emotion, mainly pain and suffering.

She had put this idea in Venom’s head that not crying means you’re heartless, or that you aren’t hurt, when in reality, autistic and heavily traumatized people (or really just nd people in general) show their emotions differently. It took a long time to stop feeling like a monster, and to be honest, it hasn’t fully gone away even now.

That’s why our last host would get so attached to villainous characters, enough so that their subconscious mind would spawn a copy of them. Every single one of them, as alters, are polite and kind, if not a bit shy. Many of their memories differ from their sources, and some don’t even identify with their source enough to be called “Fictives.”

They all have one of two things in common:

1) Their sources are coded as being autistic or neurodivergent (ex: Tetta Kisaki)

2) They can’t handle/don’t understand painful emotions and decided they must be monsters because of it (ex: Ryo Asuka)

Personally, I, Yuki (until recently I went by Vi on here) formed as an introject of Scaramouche/Kunikizushi/Wanderer from Genshin Impact. Being so incapable of processing emotions, not to mention being a literal robot, is what caused the attachment to my source to form. As an alter, I’ve been here for less than a year and have already become the main host (out of necessity), which hadn’t left much time for self discovery or figuring out anything about who I am or want to be.

I don’t perfectly identify with my source, but I will still acknowledge him being my source because there is a reason I formed the way I did. And that reason is the same as any other villain introject: If even I, who actually has committed atrocities, can be worthy of love, then surely an autistic child whose greatest crime is nothing more than a monotone voice and not crying as often as other people could never be a monster incapable of love.

Tldr: Don’t disrespect introjects based on their source alone. There is a reason every alter/headmate/other forms, and you don’t know what that might be. Introjects aren’t their sources.

Also, neurodivergent kids aren’t cold or cruel just because you don’t see them cry. Your emotions are valid whether you visibly display them or not. It’s okay to react differently to pain than the people around you.

You are not a monster.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

- Yuki

Edit: If you don’t like any of our sources and my post flew over your head, just unfollow and block. Haters will be blocked on sight. Thanks!

Edit 2: If you read/interpret the mentioned sources differently, cool, your views are valid. But this is not a post to debate the moral alignments of anime villains, just an explanation of why introjects form. I am not inviting anyone to argue headcanons over a system positivity post.

#for the record #my memories differ a lot from the game’s canon #I have no recollection of what’s happening in Sumeru #The 3.1 flashback cutscene rings some bells but my memories aren’t totally accurate to it #I like friends and the most villainous thing about me nowadays is being sassy #system stuff #system positivity #system posting #system problems #introjects #genshin fictive

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thyandrawrites · 4 years ago

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Could you help me understand the popular notion that while death for Dabi would not be a good narrative choice that it would be just fine for Hawks? I love almost all of the characters so maybe it’s my bias, it’s just I can’t wrap my head around the idea that two young lives were horrifically affected by less than stellar adults, where one decides to be a villain while recognizing his morals he goes on ignoring them for a bigger goal, and the other is made into a hero and that is all they’ve ever known so their emotions are not allowed enough to act on their subconscious wants to the point it’s hard for them to break free (very real life problem in a fantasy situation), both or one have to die to be so called “redeemed”. Another confusing point is that both of these characters get so much unnecessary hate, as if placed in another anime the very people hating them would be rooting for them. But I’m more interested in your take on narrative acceptance of certain plot points.

oh man, I hate talking about this topic because the last time I did, it spiralled into discourse. So I’m gonna keep this brief.

I don’t think it would be “just fine”. I know a lot of Hawks fans, I’m in a server of 400+ people dedicated to a ship about him, and so far I have yet to see someone who isn’t conflicted and unhappy about the death flags he’s been collecting for the past year. When people (including me) discuss his likelihood to die, they’re not discussing what they want to see, they’re talking about what the story is setting us up to expect.

In my opinion, and this is just me, I think that the sharp difference that people show when they discuss Dabi’s possible death as opposed to Hawks in terms of acceptance is motivated by their different narratives inside the story. Dabi’s character rotates around the theme of death. He’s legally dead. His family has been mourning him for ten years. He looks like a Frankenstein’s monster with his stitched up appearance. He’s at death’s doorstep every time he overuses his quirk. He literally tried to kill himself in an attempt to take down his father just recently. Typically, when a story shows a character struggling to hard to stay alive, to find a motivation to keep trudging on despite how hard everything is, that narrative of hopelessness is flipped by the end of the character’s journey. Take Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul for example. He suffers hell throughout the story, is suicidal for the entirety of it, and yet at the end he still finds something worth living for, and sets off to a path of healing. So it’s only normal for people to expect a similar end for Dabi. Especially since we just saw his family coming together to bring him back.

Hawks, on the other hand, is a different case. He doesn’t have any family left, and was literally abandoned to his fate by his own mother (who knew Dabi would come after him and didn’t even warn him). He doesn’t have any ties with someone who might help him “correct” his path, and is thus spiralling and spiralling further into darkness. He rejected his one redeeming factor, aka his own victimhood. He rejected his one redeeming tie, aka his friendship with Twice. He made the conscious decision to stay a tool of the system instead of questioning his own ethics. He remained stagnant.

With this I’m not trying to say that Hawks isn’t a sympathetic character, or that I want him to die. Or that his death is even remotely a satisfying end for me personally. I would’ve much rather seen a path of healing for him as well, because as you pointed out, he’s a victim of the system just as much as Dabi. In fact, I literally dedicate all my fic endeavors to exploring that moral struggle, the could’ve beens. But the natural point to develop that growth was right after Jin’s death. Or immediately before it. Yet, Horikoshi has yet to explore any sort of guilt, any sort of self-reflection on his actions. Hawks is sorry for Jin’s death, but he’d do it again. That is the opposite of growth. He’s clinging to his self-righteousness. He’s clinging to the idea that heroes are always right when they act as law enforcers. A character who refuses to grow, particularly in regards to a system that is already foreshadowed to collapse once Deku reforms it, doesn’t have a future. Plus, the foreshadowing of his heroic fall (likely while saving someone else since that’s the theme his character rotates around) has been there since his introduction. Which is why a lot of people think that Hawks isn’t going to survive the manga. It’s not a hopeful prediction, it’s just a mere statement of what we can see from the writing so far.

All that said, though, I still have hope that his death might be the moment he finally redeems himself by doing the right thing

I hope that answered your doubts. Oh and btw. Please don’t send follow up asks! I don’t really have anything else to add on this topic

#ali replies #bnha #spoilers #suicide cw #suicide tw #suicide mention #Anonymous

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tokoyamisstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Just My (Blood) Type - Hisoka x Ghoul! Reader⭐️—__—💧

A/N: I’ve started to rewatch HxH again, and you guys need to suffer for it. Sorry. That stupid Crossover-idea had been stuck in my mind for some time, and October a fitting time for a reveal, right?

Of all the f/o I ever had, that damn Clown is my guilty pleasure.

Summary: At first sharply cutting off Hisokas flirtatious advances, you soon realize that there’s more to him than just a repulsive murderer.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of past abuse, Blood.

Noticeable: Gender Neutral! Reader (not 2 GIFs tho), POC suitable (no mentions of blushing, etc...), I used all the Hisoka GIFs I could find

Fandoms: HxH, Tokyo Ghoul (kinda)

Words: ~2400

“The second participant to arrive at the goal is No. 13, Y/N Y/L/N” a robotic voice announced via speakers. “It took 3 hours and 27 minutes.”

So this was the end of the Trick Tower already, huh?

Not really as great a challenge as you hoped for, but whatever. That fact really wasn’t a surprise, considering that you were a Nen-User.

This whole exam up until now was a piece of cake more than anything else. Nothing exciting or challenging at all for a change.

You sighed loudly, your audible disappointment echoing through the great and almost empty hall.

Only a dim light would brighten up the prison cell, and there didn’t really seem to be anything to kill time. So you sat down right where you stood, back leaning against the cold stone wall.

At first, you wouldn’t even bother asking yourself who had entered the goal first - until you heared an all too familiar voice.

“Congratulations. ★ I’ve expected nothing less of you.”

Goddamn it.

Before you could even find a sassy remark, the man itself already stood in front of you. Looking up, nothing less than a broad welcoming smile was playing on his lips.

“Mind if I take a seat?”

Your posture immediately stiffened as you pulled your knees tightly against your chest.

“Yeah. And now get lost!” At least he didn’t underestemate you - otherwise it could mean your imminent death.

He wouldn’t even try to conceal his bloodlust, does he?

Ever since you first met, you gave it your best to not cross his way throughout the whole Hunter Exam - yet for some reason, he seemed to be enjoying your presence, almost as if searching for you.

“My, my...” Instead of keeping his distance, the man just sat down right next to you, making himself at home. “May I ask what I’ve done to deserve such hatred directed at me?”

Only now you realized that the Nen you emitted was an open book to your feelings.

Hopefully he didn’t notice that you were afraid of him...any hint of weakness, and you’d probably be done for.

Yet still: Hisokas voice had always been so tender and kind - a huge contrast to his true self, you thought.

That was not the only contradiction surrounding the mysterious magician. And you knew a things or two about that kind of behaviour yourself.

Only one thing was sure to you: That man was dangerous.

It was obvious what kind of monster was right next to you - his prey. How could this man stay so perfectly calm and contain himself, considering the fact that he radiated this huge amount of bloodlost?

This could only mean this was his natural state of being - and the fact alone made you shiver.

Not answering him, your eyes wandered everywhere but his direction. You remained silent as you scanned the room for any exits, but to no avail.

The two of you were all alone - for 68 hours at max.

Only god knows when the other participants will arrive and end your misery of that unsettling closeness.

“Rumor spreads that you’re planning to become a Head Hunter” the magician tried to engage in a smalltalk, putting his hand on his chin. “Why would that be?”

“Don’t play the fool, Hisoka.”

You were sure that he saw you using nen back in the Milsy Wetlands at least once, so it should be pretty obvious to him: There simply wasn’t any other choice for you to live without a guilty conscience.

“No, I honestly don’t understand” he chuckled, trying to get your attention. “Why someone so innocently looking would want such a profession, I mean.”

Gulping harshly, you now dared to meet his glare. “Look: Stop fucking with me. If you want to kill me, do it quick - but stop strolling for time, or whatever wicked game you’re playing right now.”

Of course you’d struggle, maybe even put up a fight - but in the end, Hisoka was so much more experienced than you.

And you knew damn well opposite to you, he was enjoying spilling the blood of innocents if it had to be.

For a brief second, all of his pretence dropped and he looked shocked, a little bit offended even.

“And why should I do that?”

“Drop the act” you retorted harshly, “It’s annoying. I know all stories about you, even saw you kill before my very eyes. You’re a murderer. I bet, for the likes of you, killing comes to you like breathing.”

“You’re one to talk” he answered, not sounding any less polite, “I could feel your bloodlust throughout the whole tower.”

Now your face dropped as well, and only now you felt how you were shaking - not out of fear, but anger.

“I took that as an invitation” the mage spoke playfully, letting his tongue run over his lips. “Your bloodlust lures me to you every time. We’re not that different, are we? I knew from the very first second.”

What a pain in the ass. And you were not talking about his demeanour. No.

You were simply disappointed in yourself.

For years and decades, you had principles goddamnit! Certainly you’ve never really been a saint, but...well, ever since you first found yourself lost in those golden eyes, you threw your moral compass overboard.

How could you dare to betray yourself like that and feel anything else than remorse for such a vile being?

Why the hell did you feel so damn attracted to someone you simultaneously wanted to either punch or run away from?!

“And what the hell do you want from me, then?! Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I’m just curious” he smiled, face leaning closer to yours. “That’s all.”

You crossed your arms, now awkwardly relaxed yet still annoyed. Furrowing your brows, you just had realized that Hisoka actually managed to engage in a conversation with you.

“You first” you almost gnarled, staring him down expectantly.

“Why not?” he shrugged as he began shuffling his cards in the meantime. “There’s no greater reason behind my doing, my dear. It’s true: I enjoy killing. But I don’t do it all random. I have standarts too, you know? The people you saw me kill in here were an exception: They were way weaker, but they surrounded and attacked me first. Simple self-defense.”

Yeah. Of course.

It would’ve been way too easy for him to simply escape or at least make them unable to fight without decapitating them, but he chose otherwise.

Hisoka wrang out a twisted sound, almost like a cruel laugh as he awaited your reaction.

“Sounds like a cheap excuse. A murderer is still a murderer.”

“Tzch. What a shame.” Your words didn’t really touch him - not that you expected them to awake any kind of regret in him. “I thought you to be different than the others. Smarter.”

You had to admit: Usually, Hisoka won’t lay a finger on innocent or weaker people. Most of the time - if he needed something from them, at least - he was very curteous, even. Or he’d simply act like they didn’t exist, sparing them from a cruel fate.

But that was part of his facade, too: A selfish man who could both be pleasure and doom, considering what would be to his favor.

“And what would that ‘standarts’ be?” You rose an eyebrow, still irritated that you kept conversating about such a useless topic.

“Good you ask” he pointed his index finger in the air, almost as if lecturing you. “I think most people are like me in a way, maybe just not so extreme. They desire to compete with powerful enemies.”

Yeah, that much is probably true - especially in the world of a Hunter.

For some people, there’s nothing better in this world than the adrenaline rush of a real fight. Especially when they need to get all out - mentally as well as physically - to survive.

You on the other hand wished you even had such a choice, and if you had, you’d obviously choose a peaceful life instead of that of a suicidal idiot.

But to each their own, right?

“Want to help me out?” He meant the card house he was building, handing you over some cards as he continued explaining. “I’d never simply kill a person that isn’t prepared or doesn’t accept a challenge. An opponent needs to give it their all - it has to be a battle between equals.”

A shaky moan escaped his throat, face tiwsting in excitement - almost seeming aroused - as he stated “My greatest pleasure comes when such people crumple to their knees and look down upon their disbelieving faces as their plans fail!”

“You really are creepy” was your plain answer, placing the last layer of the card house on top. “Do you know that?”

“Of course. I’m mad, not stupid.”

So this is what this is about.

“Now’s your turn, dollface.” The fact that he still maintained his usual, sly attitude, as well as the nicknames made you more flustered than you wanted to admit.

“I’m not human.” You revealed this fact as if it was nothing, throwing your hands into the air as if you had been catched. “At least not fully. Not anymore. It’s hard to explain, really.”

“I’m listening.”

That caught you off guard: You just dropped this huge bomb of a fact - and instead of being taken aback, he’s intrigued more than anything?!

Well - it’s Hisoka. Why are you even surprised?

It took you a while to collect all of your thoughts, since this was the first time you’d ever tell someone about your past. And gladly, Hisoka just sat there in silence, invested in his cards until you were ready.

“Long story short: I was a child slave. No need to spit out all the details, but you can imagine. Hard times, torture, abuse...I was on the brink of death when my Nen manifested as some kind of defense-mechanism.”

Now you felt like you were experiencing a headache. It was nothing new to you - this happened whenever you tried to surpress the flashbacks.

Burying your head into your hands, tears of regret filling the rim of your eyes, you forced yourself to continue.

“I knew nothing about Nen, yet as if naturally, I made a Restriction and Pledge on that day: The blood of the guilty must be shed. I’d do anything to get the power to achieve this. And whatever kind of higher might determinds the conditions, it took that sentence of mine very literal.”

“So you’re-”

“...a Ghoul, yes. My hatred was powerful enough to save my life, yet the price I had to pay for this power is something I can’t take to this day. So I’ll become a Head-Hunter and still my thirst for blood only on the bodies of criminals worthy of death.”

You’ve expected any kind of reaction: Disgust, scorn, scolding you for doing something so reckless - even attacking you right here.

However, the mage suddenly broke out in huge amusement, his muscular chest having as he laughed loudly and heartily. “You’re not very good of a story-teller.”

There was no time to react, your baffled self only able to look as Hisoka grabbed one of the cards out of a whim, infusing it with Nen.

But instead of attacking you, he cut his wrist without even twitching: Deeply enough to draw blood, yet not to leave a scar.

“Well, you must be hungry, right? Long day, many fights...”

You wanted to object, but instead of syllables your throat suddenly felt dry as if strangulated with barbwire: Seeing him licking his own blood from the card turned this invitation into sweet torture.

Usually it was no problem for you to hold back, even for weeks if it had to be - but for some reason, you desired his blood more than anyones ever before.

“No need to be shy” the man cooed, presenting his wrist to you. “When was the last time you ate?”

The blood was already dripping to the floor, making you desperate as you closely watched every drip. “W-Why are you doing this?”

“I want to see it, Y/N. Do both of us a favor, won’t you?”

There was no use in struggling against your instincts - and as soon as your tongue gently incorporated the red liquid, there was no going back.

Involuntarily, your fangs dug deep into his flesh, yet all that came out of Hisoka’s mouth were ecstatic groans - you weren’t quite sure if it was because of the pain or the strenght of your Nen.

How humiliating.

You despised that appearance of yours: Red irises, the rest of your eyes just a black pit. Together with those flame-like wings made from Nen, most people would say you came from hell itself.

But Hisoka wasn’t disgusted in the slightest - no, quite the opposite.

“Beautiful.💖”

You felt a pet on your head, long fingers digging into your hair as you finally let go off of his arm. “No, you can keep going until you’re satisfied. I heal quick, it’s no problem.”

He didn’t mean your appearance - to Hisoka, only power was attractive.

But still: Never before someone had seen you the way you were now and called you something else than a monster.

Licking your lips, you noticed that his blood tasted sweet: A lot like bubble gum. That was a surprise.

Pulling you over to his lap, Hisoka’s lips needily crashed over yours - and you didn’t reject, rather melting into his touch while he explored your mouth, tasting his own blood on your tongue.

His grip was tight and gentle at the same time, fingernails digging deep inside your flesh so he’d be able to control his murderous instincts.

He felt warm. And somewhat safe, even though that sounded ridiculous considering the situation.

After a while, your bodies would finally part again, leaving you both to gasp for fresh air. Your mind was still clouded by all those confusing emotions - yet Hisoka, pleased by the outcome, seemed to be very much petrified:

“This may be the beginning of a wonderful friendship.”

#HxH #Hunter x Hunter #Hisoka x Reader #Hisoka #Hisoka Morow #HxH 2011 #Tokyo Ghoul #Crossover #Writing #Fanfiction #Hisoka x You #Self Insert

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bnhayyy · 3 years ago

Note

Less shipping: top ten platonic m/f friendships.

Oh man… not gonna lie, I’m kinda disappointed that you specified male/female friendship, because there are also a lot of same-gender relationships that I enjoy platonically, but don’t particularly ship. (Hello Sokka and Zuko) However! I think I’ve come up with a pretty good spread for this list.

My qualifications for a paring to appear on this list were simple:

The pairing is not romantic in canon.

I, personally, do not ship them.

The dynamic is not paternal or that of a mentor and mentee. That would get its own list.

Friendships are ranked by no metric other than my personal enjoyment of them. With that out of the way, let’s get started!

10. Sandstorm & Graystripe (Warrior Cats)

Holy childhood flashbacks, batman! I’ll admit that it’s been a long time since I’ve read warriors, but I remember that I really enjoyed it whenever these two interacted. They were Firestar’s most important people, and maybe their character arcs didn’t really involve each other, but damn if they didn’t have some good chemistry.

9. Sam Temple & Diana Ladris (Gone)

Another one from my childhood. Sam and Diana might have initially been presented as a “hero” and Diana a “villain”, but as the series progressed and black and white morality gave way to shades of gray, it became apparent that the situation was more complicated than that. They were just scared kids who made a metric fuckton of mistakes between them. After everything they went through, it was nice to see them find some measure of solace in their friendship with each other.

8. Aang & Toph Bei Fong (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

I don’t really have a deep or moving explanation here. I just really liked them? It might not have been quite as bad as Toph and Katara, but their differences in personalities and moral philosophies made them clash pretty badly at first. However, they also weren’t too dissimilar at their core - two children bound by societal expectations who wished to be free. It was nice seeing them learn to get along.

7. Narancia Ghirga & Trish Una (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind)

Fuck, man. Just fuck me up. All of their little interactions over the course of the series were great, but the thing that really earned them their place on the list? This scene, right here. (Gold Wind spoilers ahoy) Seeing Narancia emphasize with Trish so strongly and go on to fight for her so fiercely, and then seeing how much he clearly meant to her in the end… my heart is in ribbons.

6. Tsukiyama Shuu & Hori Chie | Touka Kirishima & Amon Koutaru (Tokyo Ghoul)

Yes, I’m cheating and doing a tie for number six. My first impulse was to give the slot to Amon and Touka. They’re a pair of characters with a lot of bad blood between them who both let themselves get deeply entrenched in the cycle of revenge. Not only was their conversation a powerful piece of wish-fulfillment moment for me, but actually seeing them bury the hatchet and become something like friends was even better. However, it was only one chapter, and Amon and Akira’s ambiguous ending means that we don’t know if they kept in touch and pursued a friendship or that was it for them.

For that reason, I am also shining the spotlight on Tsukiyama Shuu and Hori Chie. He is a murderous ghoul and picky eater, the infamous gourmet. She is a reckless human photographer, doing whatever it takes to feel alive. Together, they are unapologetic degenerates. Their relationship is actually very sweet and wholesome in :re as well, but this paragraph is reserved for degeneracy. Have you read the Days light novel? If not, buy it, read it, and be amazed.

Note: I did consider using Saiko and Mutsuki, but decided not to because the amount of discourse surrounding Mutsuki while the manga was being published thoroughly prevented me from enjoying his character whatsoever. It wasn't anything to do with the actual content of the manga or how the character was written. He was my least favorite character in the series for a good long while purely because of the fan wank surrounding him, which was incredibly obnoxious and neigh-unavoidable for a time. Although I appreciate and enjoy the character now, it felt dishonest to put Mutsuki and Saiko on the list when I wanted nothing more than for him to disappear from the manga for so long.

On a semi-similar note, I also considered doing Saiko and Urie! However, I decided not to since I do ship Urisai romantically as well.

5. Erza Scarlet & Gray Fullbuster (Fairy Tail)

Like I said in my last list, Fairy Tail didn’t draw me for the plot, but its character dynamics. Although the romantic relationships are my personal highlight, there is no denying that it also has some spectacular platonic dynamics. Gray and Erza are one of them. Erza started the series as intimidating and bold, yet closed-off and reserved when it came to her personal feelings. Gray was one of the only characters who knew that she wasn’t absolutely untouchable. When she first showed up at Fairy Tail, he was intrigued by this ridiculously strong girl and kept pushing her to fight him (and getting absolutely trounced). One day, he went to confront her again, only to find her crying and come to the staggering realization that she is not only just a human being, but a hella traumatized one at that. After that, he swore not to let anything make her cry again. Come the Tower of Heaven arc, he fails, which is what triggers this flashback. Character development saw Erza open up more and Gray’s own list of important people expand, but this particular friendship still holds a special place in my heart. (Erza’s interactions with Gray and Natsu are also just really entertaining in general.)

4. Sasha Braus & Connie Springer (Attack on Titan)

(This segment contains spoilers for the final season of Attack on Titan)

Sasha and Connie's interactions were always a delight in this series. For a long time, I wasn't sure if I preferred them as a platonic or romantic couple, so I was surprised by how relieved I was when Isayama gave Sasha a different love interest and allowed her relationship with Connie to remain strictly platonic. This is probably because it did not undermine the strength of their relationship in any way. Sasha and Connie are a good example of how platonic relationships can really be your strongest bond, and when she died, you felt it. Connie and Jean were devastated, with Connie in particular going in a spiral in which he almost crossed a point of no return. It hurt like hell, but it was a good hurt.

3. Ebisu & Fujita (Dorohedoro)

I loved these two dumbasses? So much? Which is kinda unusual, since I found both of the characters pretty annoying on their own, but they grew on me through their interactions with each other. Also, look at this scene from the blue night arc. Superb. How can you not love them?

Note: I'll admit that I did seriously consider Nikaido and Kamen for this slot. They probably would have gotten number two if I went with them. However, as I'm an anime-only and suspect that their relationship may turn romantic before the series is over, I decided to eer on the edge of caution. Of course, the same risk theoretically exists for Fujita and Ebisu, but it feels less likely.

2. Donna Noble & 10 (Doctor Who)

Yes, I love them. Yes, that is all that I can say about that without crying. Seriously. Seek out any Davies era Doctor Who fan - they'll probably do a better job of explaining why they're so brilliant than my inelegant blubbering.

Thematically dedicating a whole-ass season to Donna Noble was one of the only good choices Moffat made, fight me

1. Xander Harris & Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Willow and Xander were close childhood friends whose relationship was featured again and again over the course of the series. I knew from the moment I received this prompt that they were going to be my number one. But the reason they got my number one slot specifically?

(Major spoilers for season six of BtVS ahead)

The yellow crayon speech.

Season six was flawed, both on a story level and on a more intentional in-universe level. Xander and Willow were at their worst for the majority of it. When the finale came, Willow took that to the next level, lashing out at the people she loves and eventually trying to destroy the world in her grief. Xander was no exception to that, as the above clip shows. But after a season where he was most memorable for getting scared and running away, he saved the world by refusing to leave his best friend. Watching the fight drain out of Willow as Xander starts to get through to her, until she eventually breaks down crying in his arms, still brings me to tears. After a generally shoddy season, it reminded me what I love about the show, which wouldn't have worked if Willow and Xander's friendship wasn't strong enough that this cheesy "save the world by talking" ending felt genuinely earned.

#answered #Museflight's top 10 #warrior cats #AtLA #Gone series #JJBA #Tokyo Ghoul #Fairy Tail #Attack on Titan #Dorohedoro #Doctor Who #Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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specialagentlokitty · 4 years ago

Text

Lokittys random prompts:

A/N: I write many different fandoms - NCIS/NOLA, Criminal minds, Castle, House MD, BBC Sherlock, BBC Merlin, Umbrella academy, my hero academia, twilight, Marvel, teen wolf, Avatar the last airbender, Black Butler, Atrack on Titan, Tokyo ghoul, Brooklyn 99, Supernatural, Lucifer (Fox), Harry Potter and some others if you ask and I know them!

1. “Don’t say goodbye...”

2. “Nothing impossible, we’ve all got that dreamers disease.”

3. “You only love yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can treat everyone like crap.”

4. “Lonely? I guess you could say I’m lonely, but sometimes lonely is better.”

5. “Look, I’m not having this debate with you right now.”

6. “We’ve all got blood on our hands, be it our own or someone else’s.”

7. “I really don’t care what you have to say, it won’t make me come back. I know full well your words are as empty as your heart.” “What if I can prove they’re not?”

8. “Don’t fuck with me, otherwise someone’s going to get hurt.”

9. “Bad? I prefer morally incorrect.”

10. “Stop living in your head! This is the real world! This is what a real bad guy is!”

11. “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying.” “I just don’t care about what you have to say.”

12. “Bite me.”

13. “Why are you so horrible to me?” “I’m nicer to you than to anyone else.”

14. “I’ve still got something left to prove.”

15. “You’re the only thing that’s been real...”

16. “I’ll always find my way back to you. Always.”

17. “There’s nothing in this I wouldn’t do to protect you, okay?”

18. “If I lose you... I... lose everything... you’re all that’s left...”

19. “I’ve seen my fair share of misery, heartache. I don’t want that.” “Then let me show you happiness, and love.”

20. “Shes/he’s a ticking time bomb, one wrong move and it’s all over.”

21. “Just one date, that’s all I ask.”

22. “We found you guys asleep on the floor.”

23. “I know what I want, and I’m going to take it all. Who’s going to stop me?” “I am.” “Won’t be much of a fight now, would it?”

24. “Stop pointing your gun at me.” “Stop trying to arrest me.”

25. “Everyone wants something, nothing comes for free.”

26. “You’re a monster!” “So? Never seen a monster before~”

27. “I was always here! Always! Never once did you even think about me!”

28. “I can smell your fear, don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you... unless I have to.”

29. “I feel like a monster.”

30. “Nightmares? I am Everyone nightmare.”

31. “I would walk to the end of the universe then back if it meant I could have even one more second by your side.”

32. “You don’t believe in monsters do you?” “Of course not!” “I do~”

33. “What are you hiding from me? What are you so desperately trying to keep hidden. I want to help.”

34. “You’re a fucking ass.” “I know.” “And I love you.” “I know.”

35. “It’s cold, are you okay?”

36. “Put a jacket on idiot.”

37. “She/he lost her/his memory....” “stay with her/him... even if it hurts you...”

38. “This is the end...”

39. “The damage is done... it’s too late...”

40. “I would have done anything...”

41. “I would have loved you all my life...”

42. “Maybe in your next life you’ll be safe... you won’t be in danger...”

43. “Where have you gone?”

44. “Remember when we were kids, and I promised to always keep you safe? I’m sorry I broke it...”

45. “H.. hold.. me...” “of course darling, you’re not alone, I’m here, it’s okay... rest now...”

46. “Wake up! Please!...” he/she sobbed, “just wake up...”

47. “If I could b honest, right here right now, I’m nervous.” “Why?” “Because I... love you.”

48. “It’s always been us against the world, always.”

49. “It’s not my time... I’ve.. still got loads to do...”

50. “Look, I’m sorry I lied. I can’t take it back, but I can make it up to you.”

51. “I wonder if I’ll ever see her/him again.” “It’s been years since you have.” “I’ll wait.”

52. “I’ve got you, I’m not letting go.”

53. “Stop being stubborn and let me help!”

54. “All this time I wanted to hate you, but I never could.”

55. “How do you know he/she’s still alive?” “I can feel it.”

56. “Just give me time! Please!”

57. “I miss the way the sun used to shine on you so perfectly.”

58. “How do I tell him I love him?” “Don’t, he’ll only hurt you. You don’t deserve that.”

59. “We’re all broken in some way.”

60. “Everting seems so dull...”

#lokittys prompts #lokittys random prompts

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yaboylevi · 4 years ago

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KS [1] Thanks for the swift reply! I'd like to go private but I don't have a tumblr account, honestly don't feel like doing one if you don't mind. If you don't feel like talking about snk anymore, I understand! If it only causes you bitterness, why bother? I still do it just because it doesn't and it's going to end soon anyway. Regarding your reply, yeah I too meant that the bird was Eren's conscience or connection to nature and not him literally, I just didn't have enough space XD [...]

Hiii...it’s been almost 3 weeks I am so sorry. But between real life being absolute torture, and finding respite in stuff different from snk, I completely forgot to come back to this. I really do not enjoy talking about snk, so I was really overwhelmed by your messages (that I didn’t even receive in full, and that’s one of the reasons why I’d prefer to move the conversation elsewhere - but I don't really wanna have conversations about snk atm anyway. ‘cause you see, I agree 100% with you, it sounds like I wrote these messages myself, but at the end of the day they just remind me of how much I’ve come to dislike the series...so, not really productive, or healthy for my mindset right now (i repeat, real life is just...trying to kill me apparently)).

Anyway, so I’ll just reply quickly to your messages, because you spent a lot of time typing them up, but yeah...this is not the best place or moment to have such long discussions about snk, I believe.

[2] I was wondering more on the implications to that, because thinking about it, I remembered many scenes in the anime's past seasons with birds flying, and it got me thinking if it really was all decided from the start? Maybe by some superior entity? I hope like you that little Ymir isn't just a plot device and has a role to play together with Zeke. I hope this isn't the last we see from Eren pov as well becuase those shots of little him saying 'this scenery' really worried me. [...]

I was thinking birds, besides a white one possibly meaning hope and a black one usually connected to death, are part of nature, just like all things connected through paths. Titans are connected to nature, there has been a lot of discussion about this in fandom for years, so yeah. Also, hope = freedom & life, death = despair. It all plays on the dichotomy that is Eren: he doesn’t want to kill but he doesn’t want to die either. I wonder if one of the morals of the story will be that death is just part of a natural cycle, hence you can be free in death too (but I hate this, because it’s really negative if applied to SnK).

Re-reading some stuff also made me hopeful about this not being the last of Eren’s pov, as far as explanations go. Like, there is clearly more (Liberio, for example, the WHT, etc). As for child!Eren, I think he is totally disconnected from reality, hence he doesn’t see what’s happening, and if he is, he’s also trying to convince himself that, like 19!Eren said in chapter 121, as a child he would take freedom away from people who tried to take his freedom away with little to no remorse - of course, it isn’t the case for adult!Eren, as we saw multiple times.

[3] I just hope we get to see more from him, like War Hammer titan and King Fritz memories, and there's more with Historia as well. I don't really care about shipping so I don't mind if we get EH or if Eren is the father, at least it would make sense for the pregnancy thing to be this dragged out. I just found the Armin/Annie conversation really baffling? What with the timing and the tone of the chapter? What was the point of that? To make us feel sad for Armin if Annie dies? [...]

I feel a couple, in particular a couple with Eren, would be too out of the blue and ruin Eren’s character (and the other party of the pair). Besides, romance has never been part of Eren’s character arc. If it’s just to follow the shonen manga’s trend of the protagonist ending up with [insert female character], then this will finally put snk in the trash bin for me.

I was watching a japanese youtuber’s analysis about the latest chapter and he said something very interesting about the Annie/Armin scene: just like we have child!Eren being happy vs adult!Eren despairing, their little talk repeated the same 2 povs: childhood vs adulthood. Armin’s ““declaration of love”” felt really childish and, as Annie rightfully pointed out, was that really the time for it? People are getting crushed and Armin thinks about such innocents stuff? You could say it’s the same dichotomy of hope - despair, beautiful - cruel, innocence - what Armin later admits: he is not innocent, he also killed people and children in cold blood, ever since the beginning of the story.

I personally don’t think either of them will die, but as the youtuber pointed out, usually these romantic overtones bring one of the pair to their death (I was pleased he brought up as an example yumihisu ahah), so I get why you might speculate as such.

[4] And Eren's pov got me really confused. I kind of understand what the author was going for and I agree with your analysys about his inner conflict and desperation but to me it came out of nowhere? Like you said, it doesn't really make sense for his character. This is what we get by having his thoughts hidden for so long though. At the start of the manga we got those moments where we could see he was somewhat twisted but then he grew out of it and was pretty normal, and now all of a sudden[..]

I think the inner conflict has been there, always throughout the story and in Eren as well, but for me, the problem lies elsewhere, in the sense that there is still no connection (or good enough transition) between “i don’t want to kill people but since i don't wanna die i guess i’ll kill them”. We’re talking about Eren, who wanted to die because people died because of him...who got so angry about being unjustly threatened with death, who stood up against bullies, against all sorts of injustice because he strongly believes in the intrinsic right of being free (WHICH IS THE RIGHT TO BE ALIVE). I get it that the other side wants them dead, but it still feels stupid that he would convince himself to kill the innocent majority, suddenly refusing half of what he has always believed in. If Isayama is going for “hey look, isn’t this tragic? What despair pushes people to do?” like UGH it’s just so annoying, because WE KNOW, snk is ALL about that, but what bothers me in this case, in particular, is, if Eren gets no redemption at all, then fuck off @ this story. See, I’m getting angry.

[5] he has like regressed to his childhood self? If he really hates doing all this, why does he do it? And I think you're right about Eren being demonized by the narrative: the writer made possible only 2 options and forced Eren to choose the rumbling and to him to be the psycho final villain, what with all those exaggerated expressions and shadows to draw him. If he was going with that from the start he should have done it constantly throughout the manga. And I won't even talk about [...]

And yes, the point is Eren changed throughout the story!!! For god’s sake!! Then all that progression was just so that Eren had a more nuanced view of the world so that he could suffer for this choice in particular? Wow, I didn’t know I was reading Tokyo Ghoul...... /s

[6] the predetermination stuff. Did Eren really surrender to the future he saw? Is he really just there in his titan sleeping and wallowing? LOL If Armin turns out to be the hero who can change the future... bleargh. I probably dislike the alliance as much as I do because the narrative is so biased in favour of them. I put my hope in Zeke for that! Please! Let him be the key if Eren is defeated! On the other hand I think it's not so obvious that he will lose as well. on that point, [...]

This is the last one I got, I’m sorry. Anyway, idk if it’s predetermined, or just like, the moment you think of something, the future changes. That would explain how Eren blames himself for this future: only because he dared think of this, then it happened. In any case, I doubt Armin ends up being the hero, I think it’ll be a group effort...remember Isayama was impressed by GotG’s ending....

Finally, Zeke, my lovely bitch, where are you??!?!?!?

He’s late to the party like a true queen.

#here you can see my descent into bitterness looooll so sorry #KS anon #snk spoilers #shingeki asks #Anonymous

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kero-reviews · 5 years ago

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Happy Tuesday!

The books I’m still working through are:

The Complete Sherlock Holmes Volume 1 by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Gemina by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

and Tokyo Ghoul: Re Volume 5 by Sui Ishida

And I finished:

Fruits Basket Volumes 1-3 by Natsuki Takaya

Sankarea: Undying Love Volume 1 by Mitsuru Hattori

and The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic by Leigh Bardugo

I meant to post yesterday, but I started to read after work and just couldn’t stop... oops. So this weeks update is today! I still haven’t made any progress on Gemina, Tokyo Ghoul: Re, or Sherlock Holmes, as I’m still working through my splurges, so I’ll just jump into the books that I’ve had the pleasure of finishing the week.

Fruits Basket! A wonderful series! Since the GrishaVerse has been read, @books-take-flight and I have started Fruits Basket! We more or less alternate between manga and YA. This is a reread for me, a long overdue one I finished a long long time ago, and the first read from start to finish for her. She’s started the series before because of our book exchange, but she never finished it or the original anime, and since the remake is up and going and the final Fruits Basket Another volume is getting published in English in October, the timing seemed perfect.

Volumes 1 - 3 go through what’s out of the reboot as of now, so it’s great to see the differences and remember the original anime as well. I’m loving it and can’t wait to keep going to get into some of the darker themes. I’m not 100% sure yet, but I may do a highlight of this series for Pride Month as well, as our lovely Hatsuharu is bi or pan.

As for Sankarea, I’m disappointed by it... it was another thrift store find and I’m pretty upset I don’t like it more. The plot has a lot of promise and it could be a wonderful series, but it’s not well developed enough to carry the series alone. I personally don’t care for the art. The facial expressions are very simplistic, which would be fine, all art styles are different, except the detailed images we get are all boob or thigh shots, which is a bit of a deal breaker for me. The series seems to be popular though, so maybe try it for yourself? The plot DOES seem very interesting:

A zombie-obsessed boy tries to make a reabnimation potion to bring back his deceased cat. The space he uses to do this is also frequented by a privileged girl who goes there to let out her frustrations about her overbearing father and his perverted tendencies. After she’s caught and banned from leaving the house again, she tries to see the boy one more time, which leads to an altercation between her and her father. However, she’s stolen a little of the potion, which brings her back to life after the confrontation has become deadly. Now he’s in charge of housing her and caring for her in her new reanimated state.

A great premise ( I eat this type of story up) but I wasn’t a fan of the execution. There’s also a side plot where the boy’s cousin has a crush on him, which isn’t quite up my alley.

Finally, The Language of Thorns! The final GrishaVerse book that is currently published. This isn’t a full novel, rather a collection of fairy tales from some of the countries in Bardugo’s GrishaVerse. I loved getting to read these great stories and imagining them being read to little children from those countries. It was great trying to pull out what morals were in the stories that that particular country valued enough to try to teach their children. I feel like this helped to better expand the world in that regard. I also loved how each story went in the exact opposite path that you expected it to. Every. Single. One!

And of course, I loved the final story and meeting Ulla. @books-take-flight tells me that a lot of fans are hoping to see her in the next King of Scars book? I have to agree!! I think she’s a fantastic character and adds a whole new level of depth to our story.

Well, that’s about it for this week! I made my weekly goal of 5 books! And I’m making progress through my Impulse Pile, so I’m hoping to go back to Tokyo Ghoul and Gemina soon. And slowly make my progress through Sherlock Holmes. I have so many books here that I want to read that it’s a little overwhelming, so please be patient.

Happy Reading!!!

~Kero-chan

#booklr #books #book #grishaverse #tokyo ghoul #sherlock holmes #gemina #tokyo ghoul re #fruits basket #furuba #language of thorns #sankarea #weekly update

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dreamofcentipedes · 6 years ago

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Red Lotus Blooms: 8 - Burning Bright

Summary: A monster is forged in flame. As light burns out, red leaves unfurl. Crossing paths once more, Tatara and Houji hurtle towards the end of the beginning, and the ashes of the past again burn bright.

Characters: Tatara, Houji, Eto, Noro, Arima, Donato

Rating: Teen Words: 8, 766 Link to AO3

Link to Table of Contents

A/N: FINAL CHAPTER! Thank you so much to all you readers, whether you've been here from the start, you hopped on partway through, or you're reading this in the future from start to finish - every comment and kudos I've received from you gave me the willpower to see this through to the end.

A note on ages: here, Tatara is 17, Eto is 16, and Houji is 27. It's a little under 9 years before Kaneki goes on that fateful date.

Cochlea was a uniform place for diverse peoples. Prisoners sane but for their cannibalism, guards mad but for their wives and two children, it was a melting pot of the most absurd congregation of ghouls and humans alike. Its architecture, with its circling rows of identical doorways, looked bizarre in contrast by its very unremarkability. Perhaps the effect was intentional: to differentiate the prisoner from the prison, chaos from order. The guards would not play into that fantasy, however. Houji often found himself wondering who really needed protecting here: who should be outside the cells, and who should be within.

So it came as a strange relief to meet so disgusting a ghoul as the child-murdering Donato Porpora. For a brief moment, Houji could regain some sense of moral certainty.

“And you are Special Class Kousuke Houji, is that right?”

Houji inwardly flinched at the title that still felt so ill-fitting to him. This ghoul, with his elderly but dignified aspect and his calm smile that seemed to hold secret knowledge, made the honour feel especially rancid. Like he was comparing him with Special Class Wu, a comparison he knew in his heart of hearts to be true.

“Oh, did that have some kind of impact on you? I really can’t tell, your face is solid as a rock.” The ghoul seemed disappointed behind his mockery. Or perhaps it was the other way around.

“Priest.” Houji addressed him, smoothly cutting through his nonsense, firm, clear, impassive. “You know why I am here, and why you are being kept alive.”

“Nosiness as usual then, is it?” He threw back his head with a rasping cackle that echoed behind the glass screen that separated them in the interrogation room.

The balding Warden Koumura sat beside Houji, bored. Houji was sure he had better uses of his time, but it was advised that interrogations took place in groups of two, especially with this ghoul. Arima was unavailable as he was on patrol and, though he was not fond of Koumura, he was preferable to a guard like that savage Tokage. Ultimately, Koumura could not turn down a rule he was meant to impose.

“Have you heard about any ghoul plans to breach Cochlea? Or if anyone who would be stupid enough to try it?” Koumura spat. He was obviously sceptical about these rumours, but they were the reason Houji had been assigned there as extra security.

“Breach Cochlea?” The ghoul seemed interested, for very obvious reasons. “Where did you hear that?”

“First Class Arima overheard a group of ghouls discussing the plans before intercepting them. However, they were not wearing anything indicative of allegiance to any group we know of.” Houji clarified.

“How would I know, when you’ve been keeping me in here so long…” He grumbled.

“Rest assured, an attack will not succeed. This is a maximum security prison now being guarded by myself and one of our finest upcoming investigators. So, if a breach does occur and we discover that you hid something from us, you will have outlived your usefulness. Do you understand?”

That was the view of the brass, anyway. Sceptical about the likelihood of such a bold venture, they had only assigned Arima, since he had raised the concern, and one investigator of his choosing. He had chosen Houji, for reasons he could not decipher. But that was always the way with Arima.

“Come now, you can’t blame me for hating being trapped up in here. I know you do too.”

Houji could not deny it. Caging ghouls up like animals, the pointless torture that went on behind closed doors that everyone could hear regardless – why prolong their suffering so cruelly, so meaninglessly? He may have resigned himself to the reality of the CCG’s role as humanity’s brutish cudgel, but the ghouls could at least be given the decency of a quick death.

Koumura gave him a sceptical side-eye. Houji’s demeanour did not falter.

“Indeed. If I had it my way, you would no longer be with us, Priest. But that is not my decision to make. So we most both perform our given roles.”

He had only the right to observe, to observe and do his duty. He was part of this greater, twisted whole, and so he must accept responsibility for their sins if he wanted to continue serving the CCG regardless.

Donato hinted at a sickly smile. “If I’m not mistaken, you performed that duty spectacularly in China. Is that where you developed this selfless, or should I call it spineless, ideology?”

Houji narrowed his eyes. How did he know about China?

“I’ve never been, myself. Are things much different there?” The old man went on.

Exactly the same. The same as the Japan he had come back to, if not the one he had left.

As soon as he had stepped out of the aeroplane after landing at Narita, he was hit by the same hostile air. He had thought – wished, rather – that when he returned to Japan he would return to how he was before he left. It was now woefully apparent that the Japan he had known was lost forever. Or rather, the self he had known. He was forced to look at the world through this new set of tainted eyes.

“Priest, if you have nothing of worth to say then I will terminate this interrogation.” Houji was getting tired of talking to Donato. The more the Priest talked, the more unpleasant thoughts haunted Houji’s mind. But he would cede no such reaction for that man’s enjoyment. Those days of vulnerability were far behind him.

“You’re getting more and more useless to us every day. Keep that in mind.” Koumura growled in his bullying fashion.

Donato drooped his brows like a child being deprived of his toy. “How rude. I was just making conversation, Special Class. It was no small thing, taking out Chi She Lian. An organisation of that size…that’s a lot of death.”

Blood dripping through the floorboards. A severed head. A ring on a lifeless finger.

“Although – and this is just pure hearsay, mind – I hear that you couldn’t quite finish the job. The one that got away, hmm?”

Houji’s teeth clenched like a vice. How could he know? Before he had left Beijing, he had spent two weeks fruitlessly searching for Tatara Huo. Not a trace. That was the true ghost of China – the one that had not died. It could not end while he was still out there, somewhere, in the shadows, grieving, hating, mourning…

Donato’s lips turned fully upwards now. “Maybe there’s your culprit. That ghoul must want your head more than his own life. Maybe he’s risking everything breaching Cochlea just to kill you. Tie up those loose ends.” The ghoul looked Houji dead in the eye with an expression now serious. “Would you like that, Special Class?”

Houji sat wide-eyed, staring and speechless. These had to be mind games, surely: there was no way the ghoul could know this. But Houji could not help but wonder if it was possible. Whether Tatara could truly be in Tokyo. If it was to kill him, then, perhaps…

Before he could respond, a siren started blaring.

Koumura’s jaw dropped in horror and fearfully turned towards him for an answer. Houji’s body tensed as he understood what it meant. The Priest, at first surprised, burst out into raucous laughter.

“Well, I suppose you’re about to find out! Don’t hold it against me, gentlemen, there really is nothing more I could’ve done for you.”

Houji shot him an icy look with a face of otherworldly calm. “Please relinquish that smug expression, Priest. You’ve no need of it. You will not be escaping this facility today.”

Houji rose briskly out of his chair, grabbed his attaché case, and marched out of the room with Koumura scrambling after him. The door closed behind them with a slam as they exited onto the ground floor, and Houji looked up to the great gates at the top of the prison. Slowly but steadily, they were opening.

Like clockwork, the heavy gates on Cochlea’s roof opened exactly on time. Tatara could hardly believe it. Eto had promised she could do it with her ‘connections’, but she had refused to specify what they were no matter how hard Tatara grilled her. In the end he decided to allow her this modicum of trust and return on a different day if it failed - after he beheaded the girl for her deception. Yet it seemed that trust was well founded. He wondered if she might have orchestrated a riot among the prisoners or something of that nature, but it looked peaceful enough down the great fall encircled by rows and rows of jail cells. That is, until the guards noticed the doorway receding.

There was no time for standing around. Tatara beckoned for his cohort, the remaining rabble of Aogiri, to follow him down the sinkhole. He jumped, and two hundred red cloaks followed him.

The ghouls unleashed hell on the guards below. Storms of ukaku shards thundered down upon them, and quinque bullets shot upwards in return. There were casualties on both sides already, but Tatara had the element of surprise. He landed on the first elevated platform in the centre of Cochlea, and immediately began sprinting, his eyes darting around on all sides for Houji. Seeing the afterimage of a white coat disappear behind an opaque screen on a floor above, he quickly rammed his kagune through the five guards charging at him simultaneously, smoothly slid it out, and launched himself into the air to an astonishing height to follow him.

He landed with a crash onto the railing, and, raising his head, stared at the now visible face of the white-coated figure with surprise and anger.

“You’re-”

“Not Houji.” The bespectacled man finished, and cut Tatara open.

Houji pelted through the rain of shards as ghouls descended from above. He could not understand how it happened. Were there ghouls strong enough to open the gates from the outside? After Loong, he could not doubt it. Guards rushed out into the fray, only for several to be impaled immediately. Arima was nowhere to be seen – his patrol had probably led him to the other end of the facility. More and more of the ghouls were landing on the ground floor, white-masked and red-cloaked.

If these ghouls spring some of the inmates…

There were immensely powerful ghouls being kept here. The S-Rate Tail Brothers. Tokage’s plaything, that S-Rate Jason. Not to mention the SS-Rate Priest. Iff even some of them were to escape, it could spell dire news for Tokyo. Houji could not let that happen.

He clicked open his attaché case, and drew out Douhi.

Special Class Zhao, who had miraculously survived Loong’s onslaught thanks to the quick feet of the other survivors in getting him medical attention, had presented Houji with three quinques before he left China. Seeing Zhao’s armless stump and remembering how he had failed to fulfil Zhao’s wish of putting a final end to Chi She Lian, Houji hardly felt like he deserved them, but Zhao had insisted on rewarding Loong’s slayer. Two of the quinques were unique as the results of new studies in quinque research which combined the kakuhou of one ghoul with the cell matter of another, allowing, for instance, an ukaku quinque to be augmented with the strength of a powerful bikaku ghoul.

Such was the case with Douhi, named for the lead researcher of the project. It was a long cannon in pale yellow with curved horns protruding from either side, and it was made from the ukaku kakuhou of a Chi She Lian ghoul and the cell matter of Fei Huo.

For this reason, too, China never left him.

He pummelled out shards from Douhi that rained and slashed through the ghouls charging towards him. Even so, they were quickly swarming the place. Guards unleashed quinques and fought all around him, some pushing forward, some giving ground. Koumura was barking orders but noticeably not fighting himself, his electric baton-style quinque hanging uselessly at his side. Kagune came darting towards Houji but he blew them apart with the force of his cannon, followed by the heads of their owners.

He swung around to obliterate another kagune spiralling towards him, but lost his momentum when he saw the monstrosity. It was huge, grotesque, with jagged teeth like razor blades. The moment of hesitation allowed it to smash Douhi out of his hands and send it clattering to the floor.

The kagune’s owner appeared briefly behind it, but there was nothing brief about the tall, pony-tailed figure with his eyeless, grinning mask. He looked like trouble. Houji glanced concernedly to the far edge of their arena where Douhi had fallen metres ahead of him, but the distance was too long and the fighting too thick to retrieve it, not to mention that his opponent blocked the way. There was no chance of fighting that thing without a weapon.

He saw Koumura shrinking against the wall on the periphery of the battle. If he’s not doing anything anyway…Houji caught his eye and shouted over the fray: “Quinques!” Koumura blinked and nodded frantically, and, hesitantly raising his baton, began fighting his way to the armoury on the same floor.

As Houji watched the eyeless figure stand stock still and swing his kagune around for another attack, Houji knew that until Koumura could retrieve the weapons he needed, he would have to be exceedingly careful. He turned and dashed behind him as the kagune hurtled in his direction. Pushing his way through the calamity of ghouls and guards, the kagune found itself lost, as if confused, unable to locate Houji in the fray. Houji punched away the ghouls surrounding him with his fists, constantly keeping up his pace, knowing that if he slowed down he was dead. Yet despite his efforts, the grinning ghoul’s kagune found him again and charged at him through the crowd – eating up guard, ghoul, and anything that stood in its way.

Thankfully, Houji had calculated everything just right. Or, almost just right. He still needed to leap to the floor before the kagune bit the air in front of him and could go no further. His python of a kagune had finally ran out length. This would have not been a handicap for any other ghoul, but this was one insisted on standing still, eery and overconfident. It cocked its head to the side, confused. But the victory did not last long. Houji scrambled up and began dashing into the crowd again as slowly, it began to walk forward.

Winding and weaving through the hordes of people, ducking kagune and quinque alike in the mad fury of combat, running at the greatest pace he could muster, Houji was quickly becoming exhausted and wondered how much longer he could keep up. Finally, he heard the shout of a familiar voice over the cacophony, calling his name.

Houji leapt up and made himself as visible as he could. Before the fat kagune could devour him, Koumura hurled him two attaché cases, one of which he caught in the air. When he hit the ground, he clicked the release and sliced the toothy maw leering over his head in half. No matter how strong his opponent was, it was no match for Chi She.

The second of the hybrid quinques Zhao had given him was a koukaku-type quinque with a broad blade outlined in red and a segmented silver guard attached to a lengthy pole. Houji had recognised the quinque at first sight, save for the red. It was the poleaxe he had used to kill Loong. The already extant quinque was, in an act of grotesque irony, infused with the cell matter of its victim to create Chi She, named for the organisation that it both led and destroyed.

There was little that Loong’s claws could not cut through. Houji blitzed his way through the obstructing ghouls and darted towards the grinning ghoul, whose attention was still fixed on his mutilated kagune. With a single heavy slash, he separated the ghoul’s torso from his pelvis.

When it fell to the floor with a thud, Houji allowed himself a moment to breathe. But almost immediately, he could tell something was not right. The ghoul’s legs were still standing.

The thin strand of flesh that still stood between the two halves began retracting at an incredible speed, swinging up the ghoul’s top half with it. Squelching, the torso reattached itself, and the bloody gash regenerated as if nothing had happened. The ghoul cracked its neck.

Houji looked on in horror. What on earth was this ghoul? Such regenerative abilities were far beyond the purview of typical ghoul biology. He readied Chi She in a defensive stance as he saw his kagune regenerate instantaneously as well. He was preparing for the worst, when he heard a girl’s voice call out:

“It’s okay, Noro, I’ll deal with this one.”

The ghoul jumped backwards, and a colossal mass crashed down in front of Houji. Instinctively, he shielded himself from the blast force, but when he turned his eyes upward again he saw a thin, grinning face whose slobbering tongue alone was almost the size of his head. Houji fell back to create some distance and examined the monster in full view.

The great white behemoth was draped in a burgundy cloak, with four enormous kagune like spider legs ripping out from its sides and a set of shorter ones bursting from the top like flower petals. Its face was made up of an elongated chin, a set of four horns, and a single mad red eye. Thin arms like bird legs served as the creature’s arms while its legs were obscured by the cloak. Suffice it to say, he was dealing with a kakuja – and no ordinary one at that.

“Hooouuujiii-kun!” The creature sung in a distorted sing-song voice. Houji flinched at the recognition. How can it know me?

But then, he was thinking he was starting to recognise it as well. He had never seen it before, but he had heard the reports of the creature that had killed the wife of his mentor Mado in Houji’s absence. Could this thing be that One-Eyed Owl?

“I can’t kill you or Tatara will be pissed, so don’t worry! I’m just going to rough you up for a bit, okay?”

Tatara?

Had this thing – just said…

“Is Tatara Huo in this building?” Houji questioned desperately.

“Oh, oopsy, I said too much. Well, can’t have you interfering. Lights out for now, Houji-kun!”

The monster swung one of its chicken legs towards him and Houji lifted Chi She’s great weight just in time to block it. The force still sent him skidding across the floor, and before he knew it, one of its arachnid kagune descended on him from above. There was no time to block this one, and Houji felt his ribcage reverberate as he was knocked across the floor.

He barely had time to recover before the creature was on him again, laughing in crazed delight. Its size did not seem to impact its speed at all, and it was all Houji could do to dodge while its sledgehammer kagune came crashing down like lightning. Still, if he could avenge Associate Special Class Kasuka…

And yet, while Houji knew that was where his mind should be, it was not. He could only think of the name she had mentioned. The unfinished business which kept the memories of China swinging over his head like the sword of Damocles. Tatara. He was here. That damnable priest had been right. He was here, just for the sake of killing him; and here Houji was, fighting some other ghoul entirely.

He could make out openings in his foe’s defence, but he could not take advantage of them: because for every brief moment of rest his eyes were on the railings of Cochlea above him, searching for a white-cloaked figure amongst those endless rows of grey.

When at last, he saw him.

White cloak. White hair. Red mask. And the awed hatred burning in his eyes when they briefly met with his. Without a doubt, it was Tatara Huo. The heir of Chi She Lian was in Tokyo.

And he was fighting Arima.

This was bad. Arima was too strong, even for a Huo. Houji had seen his skill firsthand in the Clown Operation, and he had been promoted two ranks since then after forcing this very same Owl to retreat in their last encounter. Sure enough, he could already see Arima’s strikes ripping Tatara apart; at this rate, if Houji did not get up there in time, Tatara would die at the hands of a complete stranger. He could not allow that. It had to be him. For Tatara’s sake, and his own.

The Owl was quick to exploit his distraction. A clawed hand smashed him down into the Cochlea floor, and he coughed up blood as pain quivered through him. Then it hoisted him into the air, lifting him by his collar above its ecstatic face, its overgrown tongue licking the bone where its lips should be.

“Ah, but you know…I am hungry…”

There was no time for this. Houji had to leave. So with one sudden swing, he cleaved its tongue in two.

“AaaaaaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAAeEEEEEEEEEEiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIII”

The ghoul gave a cartoonish scream as it shook the blood off its broken tongue to splatter onto the floor, and in that gory mass followed Houji. His coat and suit thoroughly bloodsoaked, as the ghoul raged he pulled himself out of the red water and called for Koumura. The Warden, holding his own against the ghouls surrounding him and the remaining guards, perked his head up.

“I’ve spotted a highly dangerous ghoul. Please hold off the ghouls here before I get back!”

For all his personal failings, the Warden was an Associate Special Class Investigator. Backed up by his guards, he should be able to handle the heat for a time, at least. That was what Houji told himself. The Warden’s face went completely pale.

“But this is a highly dangerous ghoul!”

Houji paused in his dash for the stairs, and tossed Koumura his Chi She, which he caught between fumbling hands.

“You won’t lose with this.” Houji assured him, and ran for the other attaché case which Koumura had thrown to him before. It felt right, that this should be the one to end it.

He clicked the release, and Hollow swirled up his arm.

This was the third of the quinques Zhao had bestowed upon him. Wu had written a proper testament after all, albeit just a list of curt demands utterly devoid of sentiment. One of those sundry requests was that Houji inherit her quinque. No reason given. Whether it was out of any fondness for him, or if it was meant to teach him some kind of lesson, or if it was just some incomprehensible prank, Houji could not tell. To the end, he could not understand that woman. But if Hollow would put her killer to rest, that would ease the memory of yet another lost soul.

Leaving Koumura hacking away at his enemies with Chi She, Houji ran through the door to the stairway. He only prayed that he would make it in time.

Houji. He had seen Houji. Through the rage of blood and searing pain, Tatara was sure he had caught his eye. He was fighting some enormous ghoul, probably one of the escapees. Tatara had followed the smell to where he was: the smell that had filled his soul with such a confused anguish. He was sure that, somehow, after this long, long, year, he had smelled his brother and sister again.

For a brief, fantastical moment, Tatara imagined that they had somehow been returned to life. That they had come here to save him. When that beautiful dream was deflated and Tatara realised the gruesome truth, he went through the pain of losing his family all over again. There was only one thing it could really mean.

Kousuke Houji had perverted the bodies of his family into his personal ghoul-killing weapons.

Knowing this, he could not abide Houji’s breath a second longer. He could no longer waste time on this immovable enemy. But every time he tried he tried to turn his back on the dove, the dove would burn his back to smithereens.

His quinque was a peculiar model made from four metal planks that came together to form a lance and split apart to fire balls of electricity. The combination of short-distance and long distance fighting techniques, as utilised by the tremendous skill of its wielder, rendered any of Tatara’s attempts to either attack or escape completely useless.

Some of his hits Tatara managed to dodge within a hair’s breadth; but most connected. He could barely stand from all the wounds littered across his body. Great stretches of flesh were torn off and blackened from the force of the thunderstorm bursting from his quinque. There were huge gashes across crucial tendons in his arms and legs, and more than he could count across his chest. His face, too, had a disfiguring scar slashed straight across it that set his eyeballs stinging like they had in front of the burning house at Yangshuo. That was the last time he had ever felt so helpless. It was as if all the strength he had tireless worked to gain had evaporated in an instant.

I still can’t accomplish a single thing.

The dove, on the other hand, was completely unharmed.

Tatara collapsed to the floor with another shock from the lightning quinque. His loathing for the dove for holding him back from Houji yet again had been overwhelmed by an almost religious sense of fear. No single person could be this powerful. As he struggled to raise his head from the ground, the man stepped over him, all in white, with the light shining off his glasses and his lance still buzzing with power. The image was godlike.

He felt, then, that more than Houji, more than himself, this was the true face of Death. This man not much older than himself, with his long blue hair and cold mien, was assuredly the reaper. And to think they had crossed paths out of such random chance…

“You’re sturdy, aren’t you…” The reaper murmured as he raised his quinque over Tatara’s head.

He could not die this way. He could not die at the hands of some stranger dove, not after coming all this way. Not with Houji still breathing. He would not let even the reaper deny him that right.

Tatara’s kagune blasted from his back and slammed into the quinque, scattering it to the floor. The dove looked to where the weapon clattered away in mild surprise and dashed to retrieve it. This was Tatara’s window of opportunity. He pulled himself up, and, with a draconic roar, activated his kakuja.

The flesh was not half-formed around him before the dove sliced off all of his limbs. Tatara’s roar vanished into the air. The reaper had already retrieved his quinque and closed the distance.

It was over.

As something shattered within Tatara’s soul, his waking mind plunged into oblivion.

By the time Houji finally reached the railing where he had seen Tatara fighting, it was empty. Blood coated the cold metal, but there was neither ghoul nor investigator to be seen, dead or alive. He looked into the distance left and right, clutched the edge of the barrier and searched up and down for any sign of the two. There was nothing.

Houji yelled a cry of frustration that was lost beyond his throat, soundless and impotent. He hung his head in remorse that he had come too late again. And when he did, he bore witness to the bloodbath below.

Koumura, and all the guards who had fought with him, lay dead, their bodies bloody and savaged. The carcass of that mutant kakuja lay splayed out amidst the carnage. A little girl wrapped in bandages skipped over the abundance of death with the ghoul in the grinning mask in tow. Some of the ghouls had joined their victims, but not nearly so many.

As soon as he saw it, he was snapped back to his senses, and he knew he should have never gone after Tatara. That Priest had scrambled his brains. If he had simply stayed where the battle needed him most, this tragedy could have been avoided.

Raising his head, he saw ghouls spread out all across the facility, running towards cells and smashing open their windows. Houji realised with horror that it had only been a portion of their forces he had fought on the ground floor, and that first and foremost, it had served as a distraction. He had been so concerned with keeping the Priest and his fellow SS Rates behind bars, the ghouls had exercised free rein over the rest of the prison, releasing C Rates and B Rates and A Rates and S Rates alike.

There were more guards than those who had fought with Koumura, but they were evidently ill-equipped to deal with the threat, and there was no sign of Arima. That left it to him. He readied Hollow.

This was the last time, he swore. The last time he ever let his conscience get the better of him.

Pulling the trigger, he unleashed hell from above.

When Tatara awoke, it was dark, and it was raining.

He lifted himself off the ground with the stubs of his half-regenerated arms as the water assaulted his face like tears. He could not see anything in the blackness. Wherever he was, it was not Cochlea.

He had failed to kill Houji.

He tried to stand, but his legs were only stumps, too. Pathetically, he fell head first into the watery concrete with a clang of his mask, grazing his already swollen face. How did he end up like this? He tried to lift himself again.

“Kishou really did a number on you, huh, Tatara?”

Tatara started at the voice, and almost fell over again. He recognised it. That crooning, mocking tone was the last thing he needed right now. He ignored her and drew out his kagune. He smashed it into the paving stones, dragging his incomplete body behind it.

“Woah woah woah, where are you going?” She asked. Tatara could just see her through the darkness by the single glow of her red eye.

“Cochlea. To kill Houji. Where else.” He growled. His throat was coarse, his voice pained and too quiet to sound as firm as he intended.

“Ugh, seriously? And here I thought we taught you a lesson. You’re a stubborn bastard, I’ll give you that. Stubborn and foolish.”

Tatara twisted his form around in bewildered anger. His eyes adjusting to the dark, he could see the outline of her mummified form. In the shadowlight, those rabbit ears on her hood made her look like some kind of devil.

“What – are you saying…?”

“I’m saying my buddy just fucked you up, on my orders.”

Tatara’s eyes dilated. That couldn’t be. There was no way that could be.

“How do you think we got into Cochlea in the first place, numbskull? He let us in. Kishou Arima is my partner in crime. Oh, but don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”

A dove? Working with a ghoul? It was impossible. Unheard of. She was lying. She had to be lying, messing with his head.

“I started the fight.” He argued back, between coughs of blood he caught in his mask. “I came to him.”

“And you saw him because he was on his way to fight you. Oh, and for the record, that’s why I positioned him there in the first place. Told him to spread some rumours about an impending ghoul attack on Cochlea, and to bring Houji along, of course.”

Tatara was becoming furious. What was she saying? She had been orchestrating the situation, the whole time?

“Ah,” she continued rambling, “he was a bit of a wildcard, though. We weren’t able to rescue as many ghouls as we wanted because of him. He killed one of our guys for every prisoner we sprung, which was kind of a pain. But this,” her eye shone down at him through the darkness, “this makes it all worth it.”

Tatara lost it. He ripped his kagune from the concrete and sent it swirling around Eto, trapping her in the same constrictor hold as before. She stood motionless in its folds as the dirge of heavy rain resounded around them.

“What are you talking about?” He screamed. “You only went to Cochlea because I made you!”

“No,” Eto responded unperturbed, and in a flash she suddenly expanded. A gigantic kagune emerged from her back and swung up her arm, knotted and swollen, the size of a car, with hundreds of branches like withered trees and human hands. Tatara’s kagune hold was broken in an instant, and the hand at the head of Eto’s abomination now caught Tatara’s throat and hoisted him into the air.

“You went to Cochlea because I tricked you.”

Tatara thrashed uselessly, wheezing for air. He could not breathe. Everything burned. The monster beneath him grinned with a daemoniacal aspect. It was dark. It was cold. He could not move his arms. He could not move his legs. Why was this happening?

“We’d planned to infiltrate Cochlea for ages. How else would we have been able to do it in two days’ time? When you wouldn’t join us the first time, I asked Kishou to plant himself and Houji in Cochlea so you would come along on this little mission of ours. He heard all about your past from Houji, and I heard all about it from him. I wanted nothing better than to snatch the object of your desire right from under you, exactly when you were so close to dying just the way you want. Then, I wanted to really teach you about death. That was Kishou’s specialty. So he sliced you up good and proper and gave you back to me before I made my getaway, which brings us up to now.”

Tatara hated the woman below him more than even Houji at that moment. He hated her for going to such lengths just to make him suffer, and when he thought about how he had fallen for every trap she had set, he began to fear her too.

“Then you – you let me win?!”

“Duh, and the drones you killed were far from my best people, either. After you tried so hard turning them into charcoal and taking down Noro, I decided I didn’t want to deny you your victory. Nothing better than a shot of overconfidence to show you how unprepared you really are. You were always joining me in Cochlea, whether you agreed to come along, I made you come along, or I tricked you into coming along and let you think it was your own idea. I figured the last option would be the best one. I wanted to break you in the right way.” Under her bandages, she seemed to lick her lips. “I am an author, after all.”

The world distorted below Tatara. Amidst the shadows he thought he could see an army of demons, and the sky began undulating like a sea of fire. Between the hell in the sky and its spawn on the ground, Eto’s small form seemed to flare up like a rising flame, synchronising with the twisted form of her gargantuan arm.

“Ah, but Tatara,” her voice seemed to carry on the red ocean, rising, “I didn’t do this because I hate you or anything. Actually, I really like you. I really want you to join Aogiri Tree. That’s why I did it.”

It was all sound to Tatara. Senseless sound. The primal religious terror that Tatara had felt with Arima, he now felt with Eto. They had the power to mean nothing at all.

Eto released her grip, and with panic Tatara came crashing to the ground, smacking his head against the concrete. It made him dizzy, but he retained enough consciousness to see the form of the blurred demon in front of him approach with the scores of laughing night behind her. She lifted his chin, and brought her faceless face close to his, boring her red eye into his own.

“Your brother and sister sacrificed themselves for you, but how are you using that life? You’re running around like a mad dog, living in pits and on roadsides, biting strangers just for the sake of biting them. You justify it to yourself, if it’s all for the sake of killing Houji, Houji, Houji, Houji. But this has nothing to do with Houji. It’s not for the sake of your family either. I think, Tatara, deep down, you really just want to kill yourself. Am I wrong?”

“Y-You are-”

“Not.” Eto cut him off. “I can see it. In these.” She brought out two fingers, and pressed them hard into Tatara’s eyes. He screamed.

“Don’t you think your brother would have wanted you to continue the legacy of Chi She Lian? Don’t you think that’s why he protected you? You can’t do that alone, but that’s exactly what you’re doing. Chi She Lian wanted to build a better world for ghouls, but you couldn’t care less about that. You don’t even care about avenging their deaths. If you kill Houji along the way, well, that’s a plus, but when push comes to shove, you want to fight Houji so you can die against Houji and join your family in the pit.”

“N-no, that’s not-“ He shouted out desperately in his blindness.

“True.” Eto cut him off. “It’s true. I can taste it. In these.”

Tatara felt fingers tugging at his mask, and he heard its metallic clatter on the pavement. Then he felt something warm descend on his lips. It sucked on them like seawater, and something wormish slipped in, sliding against Tatara’s tongue, tugging it forwards. He felt compelled to reciprocate. He just wanted something warm to cling onto. Everything hurt. His body. Her words. Everything.

It was lasting too long, and he was struggling to breathe again. But when the warmth left him and he heaved for air, he missed it with a paranoid intensity. He moved his lips motionlessly.

“Want more?” He heard Eto’s voice coo down to him.

He nodded frantically, dignity long gone, desperate only for the warm bosom of something like love.

“I’ll give you more.” Came her voice, maternal and soothing.

He felt something touch his bottom lip, but it was not warm. It was cold, and sharp, and it stabbed right through it. Tatara screamed.

“Sh, sh, sh, sh.” Eto whispered softly in his ear. “No more noise. I’ll do your speaking for you.”

Then she began to sing.

“Tyger, tyger, burning bright,”

He could feel string being pulled through the hole behind the needle, and then the same pain on his top lip.

“In the forest of the night,”

He felt too terrified to scream any more, and after each stab came the string, closing up his mouth, one by one.

“What immortal hand or eye,”

He did not know if he would ever be able to scream again.

“Could frame thy fearful symmetry?”

Her movements stopped, and Tatara knew that the stitching must be complete. He was too horrified to risk speaking, so she spoke for him, whispering the words he needed to hear.

“You can still atone, Tatara, you can still honour your family’s legacy. I mean to change the world through Aogiri. There are forces at work that only Kishou and I know about, who want to keep everything exactly the way it is. Aogiri is the only organisation that can stop them. The only force that can truly save our species. We will create the world Yan wanted to see.”

Her voice calmed Tatara even through the residual agony burning on his lips. Here, it sounded soft, honest, itself pained, unlike the ruthless mockery and interrogation of before.

“You’re lost, confused, lashing out after everything was taken from you. I understand, I used to be the same. But it’s okay now. I’ll make everything better. After all, I promised you, didn’t I?”

The pressure lifted from Tatara’s eyeballs, and he opened them with a flutter of fear. He could see Eto lit up beneath the fire-sky, her bandages unravelling to reveal her bare skin and her beautiful face, looking at him gently through one green eye and one red. Tatara breathed faintly through his stitched mouth in awe.

“I will become your God.”

At that moment, he thought he fell in love with her.

Three days after the assault on Cochlea, Special Class Houji stared out from his office window at an afternoon sky awash with the first splashes of sunset. The redness of its waves sank his mind even deeper in its ruminations. He had only one thought that came with fire.

His office was otherwise empty, save for the entry, to his surprise, of First Class Arima. They hailed each other in greeting as Arima walked over to Houji’s desk.

“I’ve just come from a meeting with Special Class Washuu.”

“Oh?”

Arima pre-empted his question. “The guarding of Cochlea was my operation, so it was only me that they questioned. They didn’t blame you for its failure at all.”

They should, Houji thought to himself guiltily. It felt as though he was constantly being lifted up by others and protected for his misdeeds. A demotion or two would have been more than warranted.

Arima seemed to notice his fallen face. “Our conduct was not subjected to scrutiny. The other Special Classes are unanimous that we mediated the damage as best we could. It was Koumura and his lax administration that was lacking. He should have taken the threat more seriously, and, so Special Class Washuu said, so should have his father the Chairman. But with the number of ghouls you killed in particular, they are certain many more would have been released were it not for your presence.”

Arima spoke with nothing like consolation or pity, but in the same controlled, professional voice he always had. It made Houji feel more confident in his judgement. Although ghouls as dangerous as Jason and the Tail Brothers had made it out, he had at least kept his promise to the Priest, who was still rotting away in his cell curmudgeonly.

Despite that, he knew his inner sin. And despite that, he still could not stop himself from asking, one last time:

“First Class Arima, thank you for your words. But I still have one question, if I may.”

Arima looked down at him expressionlessly. “Go on.”

“What happened to the ghoul I saw you fighting with? It had a white cloak with a flame pattern, and a red iron mask.”

There was a hint – just a hint - of surprise in his reaction. “Ah, that one. It got away. It was surprisingly strong.”

“Even for you?”

Arima gave a polite, artificial smile. “Even for me.”

Houji gave such a smile of his own as he turned his attention back to the reddening sky.

“Thank you, First Class Arima.”

“Special Class.” Came Arima’s voice in acknowledgement, followed by his receding footsteps.

Too strong for Arima…

If that was true, Tatara would already be his brother’s equal. Houji turned his gaze to the cases containing the quinques he had retrieved from Cochlea, and remembered all the blood that had been spilt to make them. When the day came to finally end this struggle, he knew much more would follow.

When the day comes.

For now though, Houji knew better than to try and rush things to a conclusion. For now, he would pursue his duties in the CCG to the utmost of his ability, just as he always had, and put his personal desires aside. One day, he knew, he would finally meet Tatara in battle; but he would come to that day the long way round.

Forgive me, Tatara. I cannot give you peace yet.

The lotuses were in bloom.

Full red colour burst brilliantly on the flowers floating in the pond. Their leaves were stained as if from blood, but they had become something beautiful. Tatara pondered how far they had come since the shrivelled shrubs of the Yangshuo retreat. The flowers may be different, but his eyes were the same.

“Ah, he’s here.”

Eto’s voice called to him from the side. She was not wearing her bandages today, but appeared to him as he first saw her – or not quite. She too had bloomed. In what he had once seen as a childish nuisance he now saw the very spirit of power.

There was only one who could rival her. At the top of the slope from the forested alcove, where the pond lay hidden in the empty cemetery, stood the white-coated form of the reaper. Standing there, Kishou Arima appeared as a concentrated sunbeam, radiant in burning majesty. Tatara could truly believe he was the One-Eyed King.

There was much to this world Tatara had not known which Eto had shown him. V. The Washuu clan. Half-ghouls and half-humans. She told him about her past and Arima’s both, and about their plan, to raise a successor to achieve their dream of uprooting that warped root and creating a peaceful world for ghouls. He was reminded of how Yan had groomed him for that very similar role, and had saved him, in the end, for that purpose.

He and Eto ascended the slope to meet Arima. The King could not come down to his subjects. When they reached the top of the hill, Tatara fell on one knee before him.

“Welcome, Tatara.”

“King.” He responded with deference, his voice muffled behind his mask and stitched mouth. Now that he had fully regenerated, he was presentable for the ceremony. Eto had even ordered a new robe to be spun for him for the occasion; but not an Aogiri one. It was a Chi She Lian robe, decorated with the same licking flames at the bottom, but free from all the dirt, filth and blood of his old one.

“You seek to join Aogiri Tree?”

“If I may have that honour.”

“The honour would be ours.” Arima’s face was pensive. “I have heard you are a ghoul of ambition. Certainly, besides Eto you are the strongest ghoul I have fought in my career. Few have lasted so long against me. But, you are not the heir we are looking for. Do you still wish to join us?”

Tatara knew as much from Eto. That was another reason she had him fight Arima: they had decided that the messiah they needed was a ghoul strong enough to kill him. Again like Yan, their commitment to their mission extended beyond the parameters of their own lives. But Tatara had not managed to lay a dent in Arima. Despite Yan’s hopes, he was not the saviour the ghoul world needed.

“I do, King.”

His insufficiency for that role had been hammered into him excruciatingly in his one-sided ‘fights’ with Arima and Eto both, but he had found peace with it now. There was another way to honour Yan’s legacy.

He would take on the role Yan did. He would advance the cause of Aogiri Tree to raise up the true messiah, who would finally save the ghouls from their damnation to torment and tragedy that Tatara knew so well. Yan had thrown him into the fire to make him strong enough to survive, and that was what Tatara meant to do this world. How had Eto put it? To take this fucked up, piece of shit world, fuck it up even more and then give it a factory reset.

“Your humility does you credit. It is a small organisation yet, but I have full confidence that you can take it to greater heights.”

Arima released his attaché case, and brought out his lance-like quinque. Tatara did not flinch.

“In honour of your strength, your heritage, and the role you played in the honourable cause of our martyred comrades in Chi She Lian, I hereby dub you a leader of Aogiri Tree.”

Arima tapped his quinque lightly on each of Tatara’s shoulders. The honour surprised him. He felt greatly humbled. Eto was smiling widely at him, and he was glad his mask obscured the blood he felt rushing to his cheeks.

“Looks like we’ll be working together closely, Tatara.”

Arima nodded. “The two of you and Noro will bring the organisation forward while I maintain my cover in the CCG.”

“King, I will not squander this honour you have given me.” Speaking so ceremonially, Tatara felt like he was performing once more in the disciplined rites of Chi She Lian. It gave his life an order he desperately needed.

Arima gave another nod and looked towards the sunset. “With that settled, I should be leaving. Oh, one last thing.” He fixed Tatara with a steady gaze. “Houji asked after you.”

Tatara lowered his head.

“Is that so?”

“Do you still want to kill him?

There was no doubt about that. He could never forgive the lives he took from him, especially not after he made them into his quinques. But he had already seen where haste had taken him. He turned his eyes upwards again.

“The work of Aogiri Tree comes first and foremost.”

Now he had a real reason to live, there was no need to rush things. He would continue the work of Chi She Lian first and foremost, and take his revenge the long way round. His God was different now. Arima gave a small smile, and Eto did too.

“I see.” Arima responded. “Then, fare well, Tatara. I wish you luck.”

“King.” Tatara lowered his head again in respect. When he looked up again, he could see Arima’s snow-white back descending down the cemetery path. They waited by the pond fo r a little while longer to put distance between them.

Tatara rose and felt his shoulders. A leader of Aogiri Tree. Arima had given him quite the gift. He had been blessed, many times over, and not just by Arima. His very ability to stand there that day, watching the lotuses float by and the sky fall into deeper depths of red – his life itself – was a agift to him from Fei. The purpose symbolised by his robes and the mask he felt on his face were given to him by Yan. And the stitches he stroked beneath it were bestowed upon him by Eto.

They carried her unique scent. They smelled of human and ghoul, of blood and of lotus petals.

Looking back, it was scents like this one that Tatara had followed from the start. The smell of the flowers had taken him to the catfish pond, and the odour of blood had taken him to that ghoul in the alleyway. The stink of power and vengeance had summoned him to the Longxia’s den, whereas Fei had merely followed Tatara’s scent, and Yan a scent greater than either of them could detect. The doves followed that bloody miasma to Xuhangli, the same reek that brought Eto to him; and the whiff of Houji’s blood, blended with that of his family, had brought Tatara to Cochlea. Everywhere, anywhere, the strength of their noses had led them to destruction.

But even so, he wanted to see where Eto’s scent would lead him. That predatory instinct to follow the smell of something more was common to ghouls and humans alike, and he could no more defy it than he could shut out the roaring of the flames that burned in his brain since that fateful day in Yangshuo. No matter where it took him, he knew that the smell she was following came from something real, if just out of sight. So he would follow the smell of her. With these stitches, she had given him the promise of a new world.

She turned to him as the burning sky cast her in a light as terrible and beautiful as herself.

“Let’s go, Tatara.”

“Mm.”

Together, they walked down the graveyard path beneath the setting sun, towards the great ghoul dawn.

#tokyo ghoul #tg fanfic #tatara #eto yoshimura #tatara x eto #rlb #red lotus blooms

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juzuya-13 · 5 years ago

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The 5 things tag, this was super interesting! Thank you so much for tagging me! @thefandomsurfer ♥

5 things you'll find in my bag :

1. Baby things. I don't carry a normal purse with me, I always bring a fully equipped maternity bag with everything my daughter needs, diapers, baby wipes, cream, water, food, fresh clothes in case she gets dirty, toys, among many other things.

2. My phone, I always make sure I have it fully charged when I'm out in case of an emergency or if I need to Google something, take a picture and whatnot.

3. My wallet, I always carry some money with me in case I remember something I might need from the store or if I see something cute for my daughter.

4. A notebook and a pen, I always carry it in case I need to note something down like a phone number, a date of an appointment or just a reference in general.

5. A book, I usually always carry something to read with me, usually it's a manga volume but it can also be just a regular romance novel, a book of short horror stories or a fun magazine, in case I find a good spot I can sit and relax a little :)

5 things you'll find in my room :

1. Toys, lots of TOYS, I have baby things all over my apartment and my room is no exception, also my daughter's crib stays in my room because I still can't seem to sleep without her (I get anxiety when she's not close to me) so I have many of her little squishy, fluffy toys in my room.

2. Manga, I have all of my manga in my room, I plan on moving it to the living room but for now it stays in my bedroomroom very neatly organized, it's very precious, all the stories that I own mean something important to me so it's sort of my treasure.

3. Some of my figurines, I have many of them and they're a little bit all over the house.

4. Candles, I have a little obsession with candles, especially scented ones so I enjoy my collection of cute, colorful, yummy scented candles.

5. Mystic books, I have a few books about mystical beings like dragons, mermaids, fairies, elves, among others, I love it very much, I've always been into magical things, I have a wild imagination and love to day dream.

5 of my favorite things :

1. My daughter, my daughter is definitely my number one, she's the person I love the most in the whole universe. I thought I knew all about love before but when she was born I felt something like I had never felt before, I look at her and I just genuinely, selflessly love her and want her to be happy and safe, I would die one thousand deaths for my daughter, she's everything to me. ♥🐥

2. My fiancé, he's the best person I know, I love him with my whole heart, he's always so selfless, caring, patient, constantly making sure we're alright, he's hard-working, intelligent, sensitive and unlike anyone I've ever met, he's also my best friend and the best father for our daughter, even when we disagree we never fight, he never raises his voice or loses his temper, I could go on and on about how grateful I am to him but I'll stop here. ♥

3. Nature, I love nature, I love taking long walks by the river or just lay down on the grass, listen to the rain and thunder, the wind, how colorful flowers are, everything about it is very poetic and soothing for some reason.

4. Anime/manga, I love reading manga and watching anime, it's always very entertaining, I enjoy the different art styles and I can always relate to the characters to some extent, I enjoy the different stories and morals behind it, it's something I've always really enjoyed since I was a child, it makes me happy.

5. Music, music is a huge part of my life, I'm always playing some sort of music throughout the day, even if it's just soft background music, or nursery rhymes for my daughter, music has always been a safe escape from everything and reality itself when I need it, it's funny how sometimes lyrics can speak for us, all the things we can't say.

5 things I'm into right now :

1. I'm currently rereading Death Note and I find myself falling in love with it all over again, I also plan on rewatching the anime with my fiancé soon, it's always been one of my absolute favorites alongside Tokyo Ghoul and Tokyo Ghoul : re.

2. My fiancé is ethnically South Asian and his native language is Bengali (he's also fluent in Urdu and Hindi which is pretty similar). We're both fluent in quite a few languages which is pretty awesome but in my case I only know European languages while he knows both South Asian and European (he's pretty awesome) so even though I already know the basics I've recently started really investing more of my time in trying to learn Bengali so I can one day surprise him by being able to hold a conversation, not to mention I love Bengali and Hindi music. 😁

3. The Arcana, I recently downloaded this game called The Arcana because I was searching for something interesting to play on my phone and it came up so I thought "Why not?" I've only been playing it for around 3 days but it seems pretty entertaining thus far and I love the art and mystery in it, it also has a very mystic vibe to it.

4. The Death Note original soundtrack, Death Note is wonderful in general and not only have I been obsessing over it all over again but also the music in it, it's just beautiful, I play it a lot around the house all day lately.

5. Fruit, I know this sounds weird but I've been eating a lot of fruit lately, probably because it's been extremely hot and fruit is fresh and juicy, I'm not sure but I've been definitely eating a lot of it, it's my favorite thing to eat at the moment.

5 things on my to-do list :

1. I'm currently organizing my daughter's birthday party, it's her first birthday and I'm a little obsessed with it, I'm a perfectionist and I want to make sure everything goes well, it's in less than a month and I've already got it all planned out so I'm pretty optimistic.

2. I've been wanting to watch an anime called Kakegurui, I've got my eyes on it for a good while so hopefully I'll start it soon!

3. Going to Europa-Park, we're planning on going a few days following my daughter's birthday and I'm super excited about it.

4. Take care of my mom's dog, my mom is going for a small trip this weekend and I'm supposed to take care of her dog so I'll have an extra baby in my home this weekend. 😁

5. Take care of the house, my usual domestic chores, do laundry, cook, keep the house clean, take care of my daughter, make sure she's safe, that's about it. 💛

(I feel for everyone that made it through reading this whole thing, I turned this into a proper interview :3 )

5 people to tag :

@mirrors-never-lie

@waternios

@haveanicedaymyself

@rilillia

@kit-kat57

🍓

#5 things tag #thank you so much for tagging me!!! ♥#I always have so much fun 😁#about me #tag game #tagged

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hamliet · 6 years ago

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Tokyo Ghoul’s Thematic Tightrope

TG has always walked the line between idealism and realism in an absolutely fascinating way, and it’s one of the main things I adore about this series. Both of these themes are explicitly explored through the characters of Furuta and Kaneki, and the reason people are not happy with what has been done with them is not because “I just hate Kaneki but Furuta’s an angel who deserved none of this,” (I LOVE Kaneki) it’s because the themes, depending on the person, may not have been satisfactorily addressed.

The series’ ending conclusion is that it tries to bring these two disparate pieces together in a way that was framed peculiarly, and because of that framing the message ultimately comes across as simplistic and, to some, confusing, because textually, it’s simply inaccurate to say Kaneki fought tragedy but Furuta did not. Instead of emphasizing individual responsibility and choices, the story seems to have emphasized choices made by others.

(It’s great that some find 177 optimistic, and this is not an attempt to convince people it’s not optimistic, but to explain that, even though we all agree Ishida was trying to send a hopeful message, many of us came away with the opposite message instead. It’s not correct to say that the message Ishida intended to say is the message he actually sent, nor is it correct to say that he did not send that message.)

We all know that TG wants us to live. It’s the most powerful line of the series imo: live, even if it’s not stylish.

That’s idealistic, and optimistic. Hence, the series sets up an expectation that it will deliver on this front. And in many ways it does just that. Even when things look hopeless, like when Mutsuki spirals, or when Urie frames out, or when Kaneki breaks into Dragon, these three characters are rescued by their loved ones, rescued from themselves. That’s beautiful.

However, the framing around Kaneki’s case in particular troubles me. He was told he did not have long to live.

We all wanted him to live, and the story granted it to us: he fixed his issue. Good. But fixing his life span came at the cost of 100 kids’ lives: one hundred traumatized orphans who were experimented upon and legitimately called “100 Kaneki Kens” by the narrative, and the narrative has not explicitly acknowledged this. Which the story could have work... except it contradicts the story’s earlier themes of having to truly grapple with the wrongs done to children as the concept of wrongs done to kids has been reflected in just about every characters’ arc, and even in the worldbuilding, starting from the Doves’ Emergence Arc.

The story has always emphasized this theme as highly important and influential for Kaneki personally and for the other characters as well, so if it was emphasized so much, it sets up an expectation in the reader that this should be dealt with explicily rather than never expressly acknowledged. I actually think Kaneki eating the Oggai is a good narrative decision for his lowest point, even if I personally find it triggering. The fact that it wasn’t then acknowledged, however, makes this theme of choosing to protect kids kind of fall apart. It also again stresses the idea of making choices for other people about the value of certain lives over other lives. And yes, Kaneki did not have a choice once in that scenario, but again, that emphasizes the idea that the world doesn’t allow for choices.

The story then also has Kaneki choose to kill Rize even though he does not want to (and it’s good that he doesn’t want to), but I don’t think anyone thinks that the way in which it was done was a good narrative decision. I actually haven’t seen anyone saying it was, lol. It would be one thing if he had not just been saved from the same exact situation, but he was. It would be one thing if he tried and then realized he could not. It would be one thing if Rize’s decision to stay at the Torii Gates was given more narrative emphasis rather than her commenting only on Kaneki’s decision, but it wasn’t.

Keep pressing on no matter what is a fine message, but to press on at the cost of kids’ lives and the life of a girl in the same circumstances he was just saved on frames this theme in a very uncomfortable way. Especially since Kaneki’s major flaw is criticizing behavior in other people that he also exhibits (that’s what Shironeki was kind of about).

Additionally, it can be interpreted as sending an “ends justify the means” message which I personally find morally reprehensible, and, well, there are lots of implications to Kaneki having to kill 100 orphans and a woman with little current choice that are deeply unsettling. While I totally agree that Ishida did not mean to imply what that implies, it doesn’t change the fact that some of us are going to be more troubled by how problematic that is than others. Intentions to communicate something important do not necessarily matter if the communication becomes muddled and the receiver hears something other.

I personally root for Kaneki against Furuta and always have, but the entire framing of this scene left me with a deeply pessimistic message. Accept the world, yes, do what you can, yes. But kill or be killed, rather than asking why anyone needs to die at all? That struck me as contradictory for the rest of the series’ themes. It is true that you cannot save the world, nor can you change it: you can only change yourself. The problem is that the narrative places emphasis on this when it comes to Kaneki’s character, but not with other characters, and allows Kaneki idealism in ways that it does not allow others. Of course, he is the main character, but thinking of himself as the center of everything has always led to disaster for him within the story. And it is not actually Kaneki’s choices that saved him, speaking textually.

It’s Touka’s. It’s Tsukiyama’s. It’s Hide’s. And it’s Furuta’s. They saved him.

I don’t think anyone would say Touka’s love for Kaneki is not idealistic. Most people would not wait three years and dig their husband out of a Dragon. I’m not saying this is bad in any way at all, mind you. I love Touken and think it’s beautiful, but I am saying it’s idealistic. And that’s good, but it sets certain expectations: namely, if Kaneki is on the receiving end of a lot of peoples’ idealistic forgiveness and belief that he can and will choose to make better decisions in the future (Hide, Tsukiyama, the Qs, etc. all share this perspective), it makes sense that we would expect him to then share this idealistic perspective with others, even if in they end they do not take it. But he does not. And this is actually not something new. He admitted to Takizawa he only cared about his loved ones (which is fine! But if you put yourself in a position where you are responsible for those people multiple times, as he has and as Ayato called him on, that’s less fine),

and he did not save Eto (the clowns presumably did) when he’d promised to: and she wasn’t trying to kill him then. She was lying there dying in front of him and had just saved Touka and everyone else and told him so. So it’s hard to see this Rize thing as growth when he’s done it before.

Again, this is where the rushing comes in: if Kaneki had offered this to Rize and she expressly rejected it, or if this was emphasized more in the Torii Gate scene, it could have worked, but it was truncated. To have the conclusion of “some people do need to die” (which is Kaneki’s conclusion) told to us from Kaneki’s perspective rather than shown (especially when Rize’s issues tend to be about precisely not being allowed to share her perspective), and not explored when TG has a habit of exploring its themes until Moon Hell, means that the themes ultimately come across as muddy. Is it Rize’s choice to die tragically? Or Kaneki’s to kill her? We’re supposed to see it as Rize’s most likely, but it simply isn’t clear, and to have it not clear when Kaneki is making a choice about someone else’s life is putting the onus on other people rather than on individual responsibility.

Continuing along those lines, the story early on tells us that connection is important. Interactions are chemical reactions; people are forever changed by them. People like Yamori, Arima, Furuta, and Rize, who do not connect with people, die without redemption (Eto is an exception, for... some reason. I’d say this is an inconsistency). However, the story also shows us that connection is hard. That’s a realistic view of connection, in that Kaneki struggles to connect with people and has actually deliberately severed himself from connection multiple times: first with Anteiku, then with the Qs, etc. It’s always been framed as something sad, because he doesn’t believe he can be loved, and Kaneki’s struggles to maintain connection are realistic and for me, highly relatable. However, the way in which people respond to his struggles to connect is idealistic and indeed beautiful, but also creates a dissonance with its contrast. It is honestly hard for me to believe that literally not one person would have expressed frustration or sorrow over Kaneki becoming Dragon, rather than just sorrow for him. That is not realistic. It’s beautiful in its idealism, but contrasts in an awkward way with the realism of Kaneki’s own struggles. It again puts the onus on other people rather than on oneself, which doesn’t work if we’re supposed to be interpreting Kaneki’s choices as what makes the difference. Such idealism also doesn’t work with Kaneki’s ultimate “kill or be killed” conclusion with the rushed pacing and framing the latest chapter had.

The conclusion of “I need to kill the Oggai/Rize to save everyone I love” struggles thematically because it is this entire mindset that has run the cruel world TG inhabits. The CCG agents (not the Washuu) kills ghouls to save the people they love. Like, I think what makes TG so interesting is that we can all relate to the notion that if there were terrifying people who had to eat humans to live, the world would not respond with empathy. The ghouls kill humans to stay alive and keep their loved ones alive. Essentially? While ghouls and humans may now be working together, that basic philosophy has remained the same. Making choices for other people about the worth of their lives is how this Tokyo runs in TG.

A lot of people find that pretty pessimistic. You can interpret that as “well, we can’t change the world, but we can still find happiness”--except TG has always offered a solution: changing the world via empathy. Empathy, putting yourself in the place of another. It’s what Touka offers Mado as a solution in the Dove’s Emergence Arc, and then she kills Mado because again, it’s kill or be killed there.

And yet the narrative does not let her off for this, because she deeply regrets it. So the scene in 177, without Rize being afforded a chance, suggests a cycle that is unbreakable, that the cage cannot be broken, and if you try to break it, you become a villain. The three characters who tried the hardest to break it are Furuta, Eto, Arima. That’s... an issue, especially when the story begins with this:

The only character who has tried to break that cage, who tried for revolution, is Furuta. Claiming that Furuta wanted to make things worse and Kaneki only wanted to make things better is a false ditchotomy. Kaneki only wanted a world that he could live in.

This is the entire point of Kaneki hiding in the 24th ward arc. He would have probably stayed in the 24th ward forever if he could rather than actually confront the others. He admits as much inside his head: he had no plan, no intention of fixing the world for ghouls and human, he only wanted a world where he could belong, where he was needed and therefore he only acted on what was directly in front of him. Maybe that’s the point, maybe he was never supposed to be born for love and revolution, but then I think it’s odd that everyone reading it thought it was supposed to be about freeing ghouls... because the story did set up those expectations.

This is in comparison to Furuta who has spent his entire life trying to break the system from within, who dedicated his whole life to one plan. All of Furuta's actions are making things worse with a purpose. We see exactly why this is necessary because every single person within the CCG is simply so accustomed to the cruel way things are that they barely even react. Torturers like Kijima and Tokage run free with no repercussions. Saiko has consent forms for a life-altering surgery signed by her mother and not her. Mutsuki is given a knife, and then turned into a living weapon when they show both a predisposition for violence and also come from a horrifically abusive family. The entirety of the CCG is built on compliance. They literally needed to be pushed to that extreme in order to break free. The Oggai are the CCG's method of taking child soldiers. The Washuu which control everything were slaughtered by Furuta who then went on to replace them, and show exactly everybody how the Washuu acted in his personality as “Kichimura.” Dragon literally drags humans into a conflict that ghouls have been living and born into their entire lives, and humans have the privilege of just treating like it's an urban legend.

All of these are targeted strikes against the system. Kaneki, on the other hand, broke quinques and hoped for the best. Kaneki's successes are all built explicitly on the back of Furuta's work. If Furuta had not done the dirty work Kaneki never would have even survived as king because Furuta did all the dirty work for him. He never had to confront the CCG because Furuta dismantled it for him from within. He never had to destroy the Washuu because Furuta already took care of that and he did it much better than both Marude and Hide.

Kaneki wanted to talk to the Washuu. He had no plan.

When Furuta was not directly challenging him, the only thing Kaneki did was move to save investigators. When Furuta was directly challenging him, he hid to the 24th ward and then slowly starved to death. When Kaneki was presented with the exact same limited life span problem Furuta dealt with his entire life, Kaneki didn't fight tragedy. He distracted himself. Kaneki only fixed his lifespan because of something Furuta did once again: because Furuta provided him the Oggai to eat.

Furuta acts, Kaneki reacts. That's been consistent throughout the entire narrative. The fact that the story suggests that acting is wrong in Furuta’s case (and it hella is! Nothing he does is excusable, but his motivations=dismantle the system so that no one has to suffer what he suffered) and that it’s right in Kaneki’s case (his motivations=protect his loved ones from suffering) is... well, the line between them is really thin. Not wanting to do something (like Kaneki has seldom ever wanted to hurt anybody) doesn’t change the fact that he has, in fact, hurt someone, and as Yoshimura says, “the act of taking a life is always evil.” To have the significant choice of Kaneki’s, the choice that’s supposed to exemplify him taking responsibility, being to kill someone who has no choice, is strange.

You have to accept the world and decided not to twist it yourself. In theory, I like these messages from Kaneki and Amon. In practice, the framing of the story with pushing aside other themes and Kaneki still committing an action the story has always described as wrong against someone experiencing the exact same thing he just went through, makes it hard. It’s a tightrope between just what the difference between Furuta and Kaneki actually is, and I personally can see why people buy this chapter as inspirational, and why people do not.

#tg meta #tgre meta #tgre 177 #kaneki ken #furuta nimura #kamishiro rize #touken #kirishima touka #amon koutarou #yoshimura kuzen #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re

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