#since they can only take out so much of the small intestine before I have to get a permanent TPN line and/or ostomy

[space-spring]

I've officially returned to the level of health stuff where the options for treatment are "meds with terrible side effects in both the short and long term" and "surgery to remove even MORE of my intestines" and man. I am holding my head in my hands despair-style about it

[divinesolas]

Summary | Studying anatomy! yes that is definitely what is happening!

a/n | sorry this took forever :( this is basically pure filfth, enjoy!

part one

You're not that dumb you know. But you decide not to even mention his hard dick right next to your hands on his thighs. You decide since he does so much for you you should help him out, obviously, it is only right. You watch as he mumbles to himself, his face red as he breathes heavily. He gulps when you move your hands to his knees. “Ethan?”  

He breaks out of whatever trance he was locked in and stares at you like a deer in headlights. “We need to study, you know?” you drag your hands back up his leg and to his hips and he places a hand over his mouth to muffle a moan. He drops his hand back down and nods. “Yes right yeah yeah um.” You find yourself wanting to laugh at his cuteness but hold yourself back. 

“Let's make this fun. If I get three of them right, I get a prize, deal?” 

He wants to ask what prize you would get but he finds himself unable to talk. He nods and you grin as you scoot closer to him and he could tell by your face you were thinking really hard. You suddenly take one of your hands and drag it down along his chest, lingering slightly on his abs he bites his tongue to prevent himself from moaning. You stop suddenly on his lower stomach and poke him, “Your small intestine is here, right?” 

He thinks you're right, his mind completely clouded with lust and desire that he just nods aimlessly, “yes yes you're right.” you grin as he tilts his head back, you watch as he clearly tries to hold himself together, placing your hands on his thighs again he jolts and he mouth opens to leave out a breathless sound. You tap your things and hum as you begin to think again.

Ethan thinks he might burst. Literally and figuratively as your hands slide up from his thighs only just barely missing his dick as you hands go to his sides, one of your hands drops down to his thighs as the other stays at his sides, feeling around until it stops. “Your spleen is here right?”

Your hand softly massages his thigh moving towards the inside of it and lightly scratching the surface. He can't hold back the moan that escapes his mouth  as he nods, “yes… please.”

You tilt your head at him and can't hold back your smile as he pants, “What is it?” He whines and throws his head further back groaning. “Please please.”

You laugh, “Well I have one more thing to do before I get my prize.” He almost opens his mouth to complain until your hands wrap around his dick causing him to choke and look at you. You had leaned down and become eye level with his dick. “This is your dick, that counts right? Can I take my prize?” it becomes very clear what prize you were referring to leaving ethan in a stumbling mess. “Yes! Yes please please.” 

You lick at the tip collecting anything that dripped out, leading you to lick him like a lollipop all the way to the base. He moans loudly, he feels like he can't breathe. The pleasure coursing through his veins like he was experiencing a sugar rush. He gripped the bedsheets below him in an attempt to not pull at your hair. You look up at him and his almost painful looking face, you notice his hands gripping the sheets and the small barely audible pleas he lets out and pull away from him. He whines and leans his head back down to look at you but his eyes widen. You had moved to sit on your knees, you were in the middle of pulling off your top, he watches the way your tits bounce once they are freed from your shirt. His eyes stay locked on your chest and he's drooling, he’s dreamed of touching them, sucking on them and now they're right in front of his face. 

You sit up and move your shorts down leaving you completely bare in front of him. 

He swears he just died and came back to life as you move towards him and grab him by the neck. straddling him. “Do you want me ethan? can i take my prize?” he must be dreaming or maybe he died on the way here and this was all some hallucination his mind had come up with to spare him from the pain of passing.

“Please.” 

He feels a rush of relief wash over him as he feels your walls grip him, you are so tight, he shivers as he presses his head into your neck leaving kisses as he listens to your beautiful sounds. He feels an ecstasy he never has before as you begin to move. one of his hands moves to play with one of your boobs while the other stays on your waist. “youre so fucking perfect.”

--

Tags | @qatiee @kylobensgirl @munsonseddieee

[catboybiologist]

Hey I feel like I remember someone using crispr (or other gene editing method) to successfully edit her own genome and since I saw the article on tumblr and I think I remember her doing it for trans reasons it feels like something you'd know about. Google isn't helping, do you know who im talking about?

Yup I remember that.

Tl;Dr: I don't buy this instance of it, but there's some nuggets of theory that she built upon that are reasonable.

I'm gonna try to keep this brief and simple.

Here was the basic theory, extremely oversimplified: normal cell development follows a kind of "tree". A stem cell can become a couple different kinds of other stem cells that are more specific, and onwards, until they become "fully differentiated" cell types. These are the cells we know and love: nerve, skin, muscle, etc.

Stem cell research is so valuable because of this- "replacement" tissue can be generated for any other kind of cell with stem cells.

But in extremely rare cases, a process called transdifferentiation can occur. Essentially, a fully differentiated cell type becomes a different cell type without reverting to a stem cell state at all. Imagine a bit of heart tissue becoming an intestine.

It's an extremely poorly understood process. Like, EXTREMELY poorly understood, and the basic dynamics of how it works are a subject of active research. However, it's generally understood that in some organisms, under some extreme external circumstances, in certain cell types, it can be induced by adding in or blocking the right signal.

Based on one study that did a trial on natal male mice, there is a gene that, when knocked down, MIGHT cause transdifferentiation of testes cells into ovarian tissue, which would then secrete estrogens.

CRISPR is used to target a small segment of DNA and cleanly "cut" it out of the genome.

Now. What did this woman actually do?

Well, we don't have much to go on. It was a single thread, less than a paragraph in total, from a "bio hackers" forum. The only data provided was a text document of estrogen levels, one time point before and one time point after, and a diagram of the insert vector that would target the gene mentioned before. What she's claiming she did is inject this vector into her testes, and that the resulting estrogen level afterwards is from her being off HRT, and therefore is a result of ovarian tissue producing it.

But there's SO many confounding factors here, and SO little to go on. Self-professed "bio hackers" are kinda notorious for not having great ideas of what they're doing- not in a dangerous way, more in a "wasting time and money on things that don't work" way. And even for them, there's almost nothing to go on here.

Am I saying the entire thing is fake? Not necessarily, I don't like to jump to "people are lying". However, I am saying that there are too many confounding factors that could have easily kept E high for a long time to question Contrary to what popular media would have you believe, CRISPR is extremely fickle, and not well optimized for humans. I'm also saying that, without additional time points or verification of data, those hormones levels could just be taking a longer time to change.

In fact, I literally consider it more likely that transfemme HRT for extended periods of time might be able to cause transdifferentiation in extremely small amounts on its own. It's been possibly documented going the other direction:

I say possibly because there are other potential explanations that haven't been investigated yet, and it's never been studied in transfemmes. Either way, is it enough to endogenously produce hormones at cis female levels? Maybe, after a decade or so. But I want to see a lot more investigation into it.

Generously, I want to say that long term HRT did cause a lasting change- either the pituitary suppression of testosterone was so prolonged that it took a long time to rebound, or there actually is some transdifferentiation happening as a result of previous HRT itself. I don't think there's a world where the CRISPR actually worked.

Now. Is CRISPR to edit the genome to cause transdifferentiation of testes into ovarian tissue, that would be just enough of an ovary to produce estradiol, theoretically possible? Probably yes, actually! But did someone do it with no documentation, minimal funding, and then disappear afterwards? Not really buying it.

[sonicasura]

Got that right. Even Mina finds she has to be very careful around Kafka even before the eggs are laid. And after hatching, his instinct are on overdrive for the first week or so. Bakko keeps himself scares for a least the first month, only then feels the tigher its safe enough to get to properly see the little ones. He is not taking any risks.

Reno and 6 has a bit of leeway, given Kafka sees them both as his own whelps as well. But both don't dare to do much aside from watching from awfar and sometimes brings extra items for Kafka when he needs them.

Kafka is lucky he doesn't need to feed his young for the first days after they hatch. Thanks to a small sack found under them that they'll feed on for the time being. Kafka and his sibs where the same as well. Which is good cause those whelps needs a good clean and replaced the towels with clean onces as well. Along with a few other things he'd like to get done with before he starts to feed them. He is so glad he has his own bedroom when its time to groom the little things, that is not something he wants anyone to see. At least yet.

And yeah, Mina would do just that and of course ask for copies. Which I highly doubt Soshiro has no issue with. He of course asks that in exchange he gets copies of Kafka new clutch. He want 10 and 12 to see what their new siblings look likes, since they can't visit as much as they like anymore.

The twins are eager to meet the little things. But even they know better then to go there as soon as the whelps have hatched. They wait for Mina to call them for when it is safe to do so. Kafka is like any newly made parent, a little bit too protective of his young for it to be safe for anyones health. He'll mellow out given time, but until then they got to respect the line thats been drawn.

Not even Yomi dare to cross that line. He knows his limbs will be teared right off if he did at the best.

It takes about three months or so before the whelps are fully mobile and can properly see and hear. And thats when the chaos starts for everyone involved. All nine of them are sweet little things, but just like their mama they have a talent for trouble and chaos. They also starts eating cooked and smashed vegetables and tiny pieces of meat as well, as now they can stomach a lot more then just what Kafka's body has given them when its feeding time.

And once two years have passed, they leave the nest for good. Which is bittersweet moment for Kafka even if he knows its something that most happen. And over the years, some if not all of them become kaiju pets as well, which earn them a chance to vist their mama and older brothers in a long time.

And now over to Ava, the aunt neither 6, 10 or 12 knew of until they meet her one random day while out for a walk with their respected owners. She do was with her owners as well. Do you want to guess who that is?

I'm not surprised that Kafka is a bit overprotective with his first clutch. Pretty sure most first parents in general act similar. Considering canon Kafka practically scrubbed his stomach/intestines during that Soshiro's Day Off trailer like a sea cucumber, kaiju biology definitely would be weird.

The whelps are guaranteed crawling disasters despite their cuteness. Wonder how many gray hairs and lose scales they'll cause. Also I'm guessing Okonogi is responsible for Ava.

[reinedeslys-central]

more for this nico-dealing-after-blood-of-olympus fic:

it's just like his brain is somehow - offline. Not willing to help him string up the words to this sentence that's sitting on his tongue. The disrespect.

He's still got to power through, though, and now he's just been standing here at the table for a good ten seconds without saying anything, gods, Will must feel so awkward trying to politely ignore Nico standing behind him. What to say, what to say, need to provide a functional human first(-ish) impression on the conversation -

Will bends his head further over the book he's reading, which seems to have a diagram on it. He shifts his neck to look at it from another angle, just enough for Nico to see the page's title: "Cross-sections of the Circulatory System".

Oh, so - a biology textbook. Cool, cool, that makes sense, since Will's the head camp medic, so maybe -

Before he can stop himself, he blurts out - "The, uh, the medulla oblongata controls parasympathetic ventilation, like, coughing and sneezing and stuff." Or - is that even correct? Damn, what if Will's going to make fun of him for getting it wrong, maybe he should try another one -

"..The pancreas secretes sodium bicarbonate, lipase, protease, and amylase into the small intestine to help with digestion." There, that works for a conversation starter. Will should definitely know about that since he lectured Nico about his starch intake last week in the infirmary.

("I don't care if they're all carbs, di Angelo, at this point you just need to eat, I don't give a pegasus' ass whether it's all carbs and fats -" - which, whatever. )

It takes him a moment to realise Will hasn't said anything back. In fact, he's barely even moved, only enough to squint at his textbook from a new angle. Clearly the most self-aware guy in the room, this guy.

He tries again. Can't have people calling him un-persistent, or whatever.

"So, the, lumen of the vein is larger than the artery, right? Since they have thinner walls?" Oh, curse me. His own insults to that zoom around his brain like a sledgehammer on nectar. And for all his embarrassment, what does he get? Nothing. Solace is still sitting, thumbing through the pages like he hasn't heard anything.

So much for Reyna making his promise to try having friends, and so much for Solace dumping out on him for pushing people away. If he's going to ignore him, and not even tell him why like - like someone who'd promised to be honest with him, then he can just catch up with his textbook in private and not have to deal with Nico's awkward conversation starters or help in the infirmary again.

Fuck it. He stomps away, shaking out his fringe and angrily pressing his thumb into the indent of his initials in his sword's hilt.

No need to let anyone think the Fates are playing favourites, because clearly Nico's in a league of his own with them. Even better, they must love him so much, because right at that moment, when he's suddenly, too irrationally angry to think about where he's going, he trips over a side table and goes careening headfirst into the shelf by the window.

Ah, merde.

"Hey, are you al- wait, Nico? What are you doing here, man? You okay?"

...And of course that's what finally makes Solace wake up from his biology-induced lotus casino haze.

As Solace bounds over, ostensibly to do his whole why-aren't-you-taking-care-of-yourself-better-nico-listen-to-me-I'm-a-doctor-so-I-know-best-and-you-don't routine, Nico resists the urge to melt into the wall, literally. Why did he tell Reyna he'd try making friends? Look where it gets him. Why, of all people, did he have to say he'd try hanging out with Solace of all people when Reyna demanded he give her some actual names to back up his promises?

- ..stupidi ragazzi carini con i loro stupidi sorrisi e le loro stupide lamentele e la loro mancanza di consapevolezza spaziale perché los tre Moirai sono così per me, mamma? perché, dei, perché....

Solace hauls him up halfway into his arms and starts asking him random questions, like:

"What's your name?" Rude, didn't he just call Nico from across the room?

"Okay, okay, cool, I deserved that one, can you tell me what day it is?" How is Nico supposed to answer that. He barely knows what day it is on a good day, he just follows camp schedule through osmosis most of the time, asking random campers what the strategies for the next capture the flag game are to get a gauge on how far away it is -

"Shit, c'mon man, help me out here, what were you looking for in the library anyway? I didn't know you were the reading type - " Which, again, rude? Does Nico not look like the reading type? Is it the black and silver? Does he not look smart enough or something? Hazel's a literal whiz, and Solace knows that, so it can't be a Hades thing.

"Come on, Nico, talk to me. You know why you came to the library, right? Can you at least tell me that?"

To talk to you, dumbass! Because you're ignoring me! Like I'm only worth your time when I'm a patient!

But it's not like he can just say that, because that would be weird. Joy of joys, Solace is getting even closer now, what the hell is going on?

"Uh - listen, don't freak out, maybe I'm freaking out, it's okay, stay calm, I'm calm, I literally do this every day, uh, can you just look straight at me, di Angelo? Need to get a good look at your eyes, figure out how bad we're dealin' here -" and he starts leaning in even closer what the literal fuck -

Is this Nico's punishment for insulting the Fates? Because, damn.

Also, because Nico's brain loves him, it abandons him once more in his time of need, forcing him to let out the weirdest squeak he's absolutely going to deny he ever made. He feels his cheeks warm, and jerks an inch away in a weird full-body shake like Frank sometimes does after returning to his human form.

Gods, what a nightmare. He lifts his hands up to cover his burning face and discreetly look for the nearest shadow when he notices Solace's ashen face, freezing.

Before he can get a real, human word out, Solace is suddenly stepping forward and cradling the back of Nico's head in a ridiculously warm hand while the other cards through his hair.

What the fuck. What the absolute fuck. He would say it feels like his soul is leaving his body if he didn't already know exactly how that felt. His eyes go wide as he wheezes, trying to stammer out a demand for Solace to fucking explain himself, taking liberties with his person -

Solace steps back, clearly confused. "No huge bumps, alright.. maybe shock?" His eyes widen again, as if he's just now noticing the state he's left Nico in.

"Shit, shit, it looks like shock, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, hold on, di Angelo, let's get you to the infirmary - " Uh, absolutely not? 'Di Angelo' has had enough of the infirmary for a lifetime, grazie mille, Dr. Solace. There isn't even anything wrong with him this time! He's not the one asking weird questions and doing weird things this time.

Without any further thought, he turns around and starts fighting his way out of Solace's grip. If his favourite doctor's shocked cursing is anything to go by, it's the first time a patient's actively tried to escape his tender mercies.

Scratch that. Solace's arms tighten around his waist and the ensuing scuffle makes it clear this is not his first time. Shit, Nico might actually lose this one.

"Sunoffa- Nico! I'm trying to help, calm down!" Like hell you are, Solace. Let me the fuck go (so I can run away and wallow with the nymphs) and maybe then we'll talk.

He redoubles his efforts while pivoting to avoid the lamp on the table next to them.

"You fucking menace," Solace hisses, and if that hidden loss of cool makes Nico grin, well, what's a skull scarf for. Not every day you get to make Sir Doctor Extraordinaire stop being all sunshiney for a day.

Solace finally growls and stops fighting him. "Alright, you win! Hey, can't you stop aggravating your injuries for once?" Which. Wait, what injury? Nico's in perfect health!

"- and like, wartime's one thing, normal camp is another. Do you seriously not respect your body at all? Come on, you haven't even argued it! D'you seriously hate the infirmary that much? Are we a joke to you? You haven't even said anything since you hit your head and - " Nico lets the rest of Will's rant fly over him as he stills, and his mind goes, oh. Oh, this is hilarious. Okay, well, all he's gotta do to correct Will's little misconception is to say something then, right?

He opens up his mouth to cut Will off when he lands on his burning blue eyes and realises, belatedly, that Will's warm arms are still ever-so-gently and firmly cradling his waist, curling around the coarse fabric of his Camp Half-Blood tee.

As his brain goes offline for the the third and hopefully final time, Nico bemoans his existence and prepares himself to blurt out:

"The kidneys are where erythrocytes go to die."

Oh, Dei miei. That's not even right. "Well, no, I mean, the kidneys are where erythropoietin is produced, when the medulla oblongata detects a lack of oxygen in the body, which stimulates the growth of more red blood cells in the bone marrow..."

At least Will's shut up now, which is great. Nico can already feel the headache brewing from his ranting. Instead of backing off, however, Will absentmindedly adjusts his grip on Nico's waist and cocks his head to the side.

"...Did you come to the library to ask me to help you with your biology homework? Because, and I really mean no offense, buddy, but I kinda thought you were a year-round camper. Where'd you find the time to study AP Bio?"

Nico gives up and melts to the floor, ignoring Will's cries to groan and repeatedly thunk his head into the thankfully carpeted floor. This is how Nico dies. He prays for his father to open up the ground and bring him down to the palace for a visit. Will's still struggling to pull him up off the floor (if he's going to chase after him, he can deal with having to catch him, damnit), but only one thought is playing through Nico's mind.

Oh, I'm never going to live this one down, am I?

same fic different scene 0 - prologue-ish

[rozaceous]

idk that it fits anywhere within my existing tcba fics, really, since it's not an extra or an au? but here, have my original ending to tcba's wave arc before i decided that i actually take serious injury seriously

The bridge is in its last stages of construction and Mariko has convinced Kakashi that she's well enough to at least watch the bridge be finished. She is, too, because the headaches are all but gone and the tinnitus had stopped four days previous, but also she'd been going stir-crazy in the house, especially since she'd had trouble focusing on her embroidery long enough for it to function properly as a distraction and Tsunami had refused to let her help with the housework.

But she's perched on one of the bridge’s support beams with a warm, if humid, wind in her face, and Kakashi's stitches--just as neat as hers, but he'd used the last of her blue embroidery thread because she was out of her surgical thread, and she isn't sure she's forgiven him for it because blue is one of the only colors she can see properly--itch a little and the area will probably scar. But it doesn't hurt much any longer and the muscles underneath have mostly healed and there aren't any signs of infection. In fact, she should be able to remove the stitches later tonight.

So she's feeling pretty good, all things considered.

Zabuza and Haku show up mid-morning, the former conferring with Kakashi and the latter offering a small wave to her in her high-up resting place. Mariko wastes no time in sliding down the nearest column with a controlled glide of chakra coating her hands and feet. Sasuke and Naruto also take a pause in helping the construction crew to come over from their position further down the bridge.

"I'm not so sure you should be moving," is her greeting to him.

Haku just smiles. "Shouhei-sensei cleared me for travel so long as I don't exert myself, Mariko-san. And how are your own injuries?"

"Yeah, I'm good," she says dismissively, right hand already glowing green. "And no offense to Shouhei-sensei, but he doesn't have jutsu to back him."

Haku lets her fish her hand through the front of his kimono top and lay it over his shirt, one eyebrow up and seeming dreadfully amused. "I don't need to worry about my intestines, do I? I promise I'm type O, and Shouhei-sensei cleared me of any blood borne illnesses."

Mariko falters and has the horrible sensation of heat creeping into her cheeks.

Naruto and Sasuke choose this prime moment to arrive, with Mariko blushing and with her hand in a smirking Haku's shirt. Naruto comes up short, and Sasuke narrows his eyes.

"I thought you'd passed out by that point," Mariko says, forcefully returning her attention to Haku's neatly bandaged side.

"Oh, not quite yet," Haku says pleasantly. "It was such a graphic threat, I would've been afraid to fail to hear the end of it."

"Threat?" Zabuza pipes up, because apparently he and Kakashi are finished talking and the universe hates her.

"Mariko-chan," Kakashi says warningly. "What did I say about iryouninjutsu before we got you checked out at the hospital?"

"It's just a diagnostic," she retorts. But she drops the jutsu anyways and retrieves her hand. She takes a half-step back because she'd definitely invaded Haku's personal space and, wow, it's a warm day. She clears her throat. "Well, your ribs are fragile as all hell, and I don't know if your nerves will ever fully regenerate there. It's not too far from the spine, so there's at least a chance you won't have a permanent numb spot. But you really need to see a proper medic soon to check out your heart and kidney and to bolster all the work I did reconstructing your ribs and muscle. No jutsu, no jumping, no throwing, nothing faster than a leisurely walk, don't lift anything heavier than a spoonful of soup, and drink plenty of water but not all at once. Your kidney's this close to giving up, you still might go into cardiac arrest, and I didn't spend all that chakra just for you to die because you thought you were well enough to move with more speed and agility than a geriatric sloth."

Haku smiles at her again. "Thank you for the advice, Mariko-san. And for your assistance that day. I owe you in more ways than one."

Faster than he can blink, she has a hand and a scowl pinning him in place. "I know you weren't just about to try to bow, Haku-san."

Haku's eyes go a little wide.

To her right, Naruto snickers.

"It wasn't advice," she says, retracting her hand from his shoulder. "They were medic's orders. And you don't owe me anything. Just paying you back for those herbs you gave to Naruto for me."

"I didn't realize I charged such a high rate of interest."

"Good thing I never plan to let you loan me money, then."

He laughs and covers his mouth with a hand demurely. Haku moves on to thank Naruto as well, but all Mariko really registers is the flaming hellscape which is her face and the intensely judgmental look Sasuke is giving her.

"Shut up," she tells him.

He scoffs.

Zabuza's voice, when it comes, is a low rumble.

"I owe you one, little girl."

Mariko looks back at him, a little startled, but then her eyes narrow. "You owe me two, Momo-chan," she replies firmly, because an inability to haggle is something that would cause her parents actual disappointment. "And my name's Shiko Mariko, not 'little girl.' Get it right."

It's generally held wisdom amongst shinobi not to share your family name if it isn't the sort of thing to help you, but Mariko has a powerful feeling that this isn't the last she'll see of Zabuza or Haku, and if one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist owes her, he'd better know who he's owing.

Zabuza hasn't re-bandaged his face--probably because he needs those bandages everywhere else--so she sees the razor points of his teeth when he grins at her.

"Two, huh?"

"Two," she confirms.

He doesn't challenge her count which means he's just as aware as she is that if she were any less skilled at iryouninjutsu and had died from his blow during their initial meeting, not only would Haku be dead because she wouldn't have been there to save him, but Zabuza himself would be dead because Kakashi would have made sure of it. And that was assuming that Naruto wouldn't have freaked out, lost his handle on the Kyuubi, and done it himself.

But Zabuza didn't need to worry about that last part.

His grin widens. "Am I not pretty enough to get a bye?"

Mariko sniffs, cheeks that had cooled coloring again. "I don't know what you're talking about. I am both just and merciful."

"Whatever you say, Shiko Mariko."

"Glad you're catching on."

[calperniabeithioch]

Code Cracking p2

((WARNING: Graphic talk about death, decay, and gore. And creepy little girls))

You know what I said about me cracking the code? It only worked for the first few pages. The assholes switched up their code every chunk, probably changing the code so people would be thrown a curveball. Like me. I'm the one who had the curve ball thrown at her.

I did get a small bit of information from the start of the book. There were no Client names. If there was a cipher for the names, it wasn't able to be cracked with the information I had from the book. The next thing I realized was just how old these records were. Many of the entries near the start of the book could be dated before Sil'dih fell if not when it was still thriving.

I spent a good day or two copying the passages I needed to be translated. Then I did the thing everyone at the house had warned me not to do. I left Ishgard, without another person with me. More other people they could see. I made sure to take two different aetherites before I went to my official destination. 

How I got home, I'm not going to explain that. As my hands grazed over the rough rock that would lead me home the heat of the island invaded the thick sweater I was wearing. Pulling it off I let out a long breath. Cold was a reminder of horrible days, but now on the island, I could let the heat of the tropical environment seep into my skin. 

A shadow raced past me as I left the boundary. The shadow transformed in front of me, the Miqo'te girl with sage green hair and pure white pupilless eyes ran forward her arms up. Anne could experiment with how she looked when she was here. I'm surprised she didn't pick something else, but maybe she liked having cat ears? No matter what she tried though, she couldn’t get eyes on people right.

"Can you tell Vaymond I'm here?" I called after her.

She stopped her dress forming, it looked far too pretty to belong to a being like her. Like a princess grown in sage green and gold. "Why can't you get him?"

A lump formed in the pit of my stomach. "Because he's probably at the house."

"Oh." She looked in the direction of the house and frowned. "He's going to ask you to join him in there."

"I know." But I couldn't tell him why. Since we refound each other, I had made excuse after excuse to not walk into the house. I know there is a large number of boons I could use to save me, but that meant going through the front door.

My guts twisted like someone had stuck a fork through me and was trying to twirl up my intestines like pasta. Would there be stains still? Would my father's blood have left a mark on this world? A world he didn't belong to but decided to join? Would my mother's sword marks still be left in the wood from her trying to defend us?

Anne poked my cheek with a warm finger. "You're thinking too much." She said and then grinned, her mouth stretching too much on the skull she had chosen. "You're in no real danger!"

"You can say that, but my mind won't believe that yet," I muttered and looked in the direction of the house. "Can you get Vaymond?"

She frowned and nodded. “Fine.” But she didn't say another word as she skipped ahead of me to get my brother out.

I took my time to get closer to the house. My feet found the well-walked trail, one that once had been dotted by stones my father had a hand placed. He wanted us to have a secure way back home. Though that didn't work out well for us in the end. Not when we couldn't run far enough to get to safety.

Our house was a sprawling one story building that had a thick thatched roof and open windows. I could see white draps blowing, and in a dark part of my mind, I thought I saw my father. His pale face looking out from the window.

Did our family have ghosts?

I shook the thought as my brother walked out of the front door. He looked more like our father, angular features and thin nose. Though he had the same coloration as our mother. Grey hair, blue eyes, and tan skin. Seeing me he grinned with white teeth.

"Cal!" He called and launched into our family dialect. "Why did you send Anne?"

"I wanted to go to the beach?" But I had used that excuse recently. Holding my breath I waited to see if he'd catch me in my bluff.

Vaymond strolled up closer, he was a tall man. I'm tall for a Hyur but he's even taller than me. "You always want to go to the beach. Let's get some drinks in the house then go to the beach?" He started to turn towards the house but I froze.

"Vay-" My voice sounded like someone had put a boot on my throat. 

He paused and maybe the sudden shift in my tone caught his attention. "Cal. You don't want to go inside, do you?"

If I admitted that, I would have to admit other things that were hard for me to accept. "It, it's complicated."

His lips shifted into a small frown as he took a few steps closer and pulled me in for a tight hug. At first, I wanted to hit him, to push him off. But then he spoke quietly. "It took me two years till I was able to stay inside for any length of time."

Why would he have such a problem? I looked to meet his eyes. "You weren't here when they died."

A bitter sound escaped his mouth. "No, I didn't get to see a fresh corps. I found them. Liquified, animals eating them, some of their limbs were never recovered. I smelled death in that house for months after I gave them a burial. And then I left. I didn't come back for years and finally, when I did, I knew I needed to, or you and the others wouldn't find me. Our tormentors don't deserve to destroy our family like that."

My heart had claws digging into it. I hadn't thought about how my parent's bodies had probably been left to rot. It was a horrible fate for them. In our culture, we believed death was another stage of life. That being with a dead body was an honor, a way to mourn the family we lost. We would bury them with all they needed in their next life, and we could always call on them if we needed them. They weren't gone. They simply weren't here to easily speak to them.

Tears rose up and stung my eyes. "I'm sorry Vaymond." My voice cracked as I realized I hadn't thought about what he had gone through.

"Thank you." He then gave me one last squeeze of the hug before he took a step back. "Will you retake this with me? This is our haven. Our Forest. They were hunters who got lucky with a pack of wolves. Don't let them take our heritage from us."

That house, it was more than a place where my family had lived. My family had been on this island since we came here. All of my ancestors were buried here. My parents were buried here. I might be buried here with them one day. Our blood was a part of this island as much as it was a part of us. The house carried our inheritance. 

"I'm scared," I whispered.

Vaymond nodded and pulled my hand to follow. I did this time and we got closer to the stairs that lead up to the wrap-around porch. He didn’t push me forward. We instead stood looking at the stairs, waiting for me to choose my next move. “What does fear teach us?"

It was an old lesson. Fear, chaos, instability, and horror were not things we should suffer for long. What separates us from others that look like us is fear was a reaction. Chaos cannot be controlled but accepted as it is gives you boons. Instability like chaos must be met at face value. Horror... Horror is all the other things combined and should not be feared, but accepted as it is.

"That we suffered something we were not ready for," I said and slowly I put my hand on the wood railing, it was soft, butter-like in how worn the wood was. "Did their blood stain the wood?"

Vaymond stood beside me and I watched his jaw tense and intense. "They left their mark, and they would be proud. Predators took their fill of their bodies."

At least that was good. If we couldn't be buried properly, at least a fellow predator took their fill of any calories they could get. "Good." I could barely say a word as my foot found the first step.

Each step felt like it took a life time. Would I see them? Would their memories stain this home?

As I came up the step I looked to where my father had been split open in front of me. His last moments he had tried to fight off the men who attacked him. But he fell to the ground, his guts spilt and his blood everywhere. I could see myself, wearing my sleep clothes, may hair braided and in a scarf for while I slept. 

"Deep breaths," Vaymond whispered and I found I had stopped breathing the moment I had gotten to the top step.

"He fought till the end you know? For being married into the family, he took on being a Beast well." I whispered. "He told me once that he would kill anyone who'd touch us. He took out two of their men before he fell."

"He wasn't a trained fighter." Vaymond crossed his arms and looked at the spot I was looking at. "I know being away saved me, but if I was there I might have-"

"Been killed along with them. You weren't able to be manipulated like the rest of us were." I shook my head. "I'm glad you're here."

Taking a few steps towards the house I walked over the spot my father died and felt. Nothing. There was no shiver, no sense of dread. It was a spot. Every inch of the world had someone or something die on it. There is no great difference.

On the wood there was an impression, but I didn’t feel anything. His spirit did not stain the ground. It was only his blood that had perminately stained the wood. Vaymond’s children will know their grandfather died there to keep the family safe.

Letting out a breath I took in the first room, the walls had painted murals of the island. To an outsider there would be no way to know we were anything but some island dwellers. I reached up and touched a drawing of a palm tree and tried to breath. My mind told me I could still smell blood, but it wasn't there.

"Cal." Vaymond took a step closer. "I got a room ready for you. You know you can always be here."

Even if I could walk into the house, I listened to the window blowing through the windows from the sea. I knew this wasn't the safe haven Raymond saw. At least it wasn't for me. Not anymore.

"Can I get some Chai?" I asked and then reached into my pouch and held up my notebook I had copied some passages in. "I also need your eyes on something."

Vaymond frowned, but it was small, barely a twitch of his lips. He must be catching on to how I deflect now. One day he'll call me out for it, but he waved a hand to follow him to the kitchen. "I'll make some stew, you're staying for dinner."

I wanted to protest, but refusing to eat with him would be rude after I took the chance to walk into the house. And I know he had a lot of food he was working through and it would be wrong to not help him.

-

Dinner was made and laid out between the three of us. Vaymond, Anne, and I sat at the table that was tucked into the corner of the kitchen, an open window blowing in the smell of tropical flowers and the brine of the sea. A thick stew of savory spices was to be shared between us. A tower of flat bread, and a portion of rice between us made our meal.

I ripped up some of the flatbread and dipped it deeply in the stew before fishing out a good amount with a long strip of meat. Popping it into my mouth I nodded to the open book beside Vaymond. "See, the code goes to a number cipher."

Vaymond had pulled out a separate book for him to take some notes. He took some rice with his right hand and then scooped up some stew as well. "Yup, interesting in construction."

"It's been nothing but annoying." I admitted.

“I told her if you couldn’t do it, I could call my Auntie.” Anne said her tone peppy. I only knew a limited amount about her ‘Auntie’, the woman or entity was not something I wanted to invite into my life.

"But you got the first round of ciphers done," Vaymond smirked and winked at Anne. Her disturbing eyes didn’t affect him. "You know, when we were kids you would go off with Rumple and figure out our riddles. I always wondered if you would take to it or not."

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I ate more of the stew with some rice this time. The meat fell apart in my mouth and I gratefully swallowed it. Being able to eat meant I was able to have this chance with my brother. "Thanks, but what do I do now?"

"There are only so many things that can be done. You made copies of the pages?" He said as he nodded to my book.

"I did." I leaned closer to him to see if I could see anything from upside down. "Why?"

He turned a page and pointed. One of the pages that baffled me was a long string of numbers that then had a grid at the end. "Why is there a grid," He asked and a thick eyebrow quirked up as if he had unlocked what was happening. What I had missed.

"I don't know," I said though that couldn't be right.

“It’s for tic-tac-toe,” Anne said nodding though there were too many squares for it.

"Do you remember the Playfair Cypher?" He drew it out on his notebook and gestured to the grid. "Focus on this here." He pointed to the chain of numbers and started to write them down. "There are two repeating numbers. Thirty, three, zero. Why do you think that's important?"

I blinked a few times before it became too clear to me. "They're spaces."

"Bingo. Did you make a cipher for each variation of the Ceaser Cypher?" He asked and took another large portion of stew as I flipped through the pages.

"Of course." I then started to shake my head. "Why didn't I see that?"

"You're good at following you're gut, also we never played too much with the Playfair cipher, mom told me it was unfair to use it on all of you when you were so much younger than me." He shrugged and kept eating.

I started to translate the block of numbers into letters. It was the Playfair cypher with a devious twist. The letters were not placed in alphabetical order, but at random, via the code written in a standard Ceascar cypher, or replacement cypher. Putting the next bit down I gleefully did my translations again.

“See!” Anne pointed at my translation. “Tic-Tac-Toe.” She grinned and for one of many times, I had no idea if she actually knew what was happening or not.

“Good job,” Vaymond said his smile far fonder of her. “You’re Auntie is going to be proud.”

“Mom is going to be proud.” Anne nodded and watched me continue my work.

For a long moment, my work became my focus until Vaymond coughed and got my attention. "Your stew is getting cooler by the minute. And you don't want it to go cold again." He smirked and nodded to the stew.

Part of me wanted to kick him under the table for the horrible joke, but I chose not to as he did mean well. I kept eating and read out the translation until a passage hit me.

'Captain Cornilius Harborn'

My heart lurched. "Vay." I suddenly lost my appetite.

Looking at the translation my brother had no context for the man who was named in this book. He hadn't been hunting for our brothers. His job was to look after the estate, the island, the vault, and the way home. I'm the one who knew who this man was.

"This was the Captain I'd been looking for. Rumple, was once on his ship. From what I learned our attackers sold him…” I shook my head and closed the book. "He's not mentioned in any of the human trafficking sections. The client number isn't the same. Why would they be going after him?"

"A person who sells and ships people is being hunted." Vaymond shook his head his eyes unblinking. "Why is this a problem? Other than we can't kill him."

"I need him alive to know where Rumple is," I said and pointed to the name. "What if I lose my lead?"

Vaymond then frowned and nodded, the dots connecting. "He must have angered someone. Is there any way to intercept?"

It wasn't like cutting through a path in the wood. Finding a sailor on the open ocean was like finding a wave before it crashed back into the sea. "No." I admitted and leaned back in my seat. "If I lose this, I'll find another lead. Rumple's been the easiest to track."

"His stupid nickname really makes him stand out." Vaymond groaned and shook his head. "I never should have told him that story."

I took the bread, and my appitite returned, though for a new reason. If Black Fall was dealing with my brother's captor, then I would need to find out what happened to the man. If he's captured, then we can still get justice.

"I need to leave here early in the morning." I took a large bite of the stew-covered bread. "I need to tell the others I cracked most of the book."

"Will you tell them about this?" He nodded to the passage about our brother's captor. Human trafficking had been one of my fears for my siblings. I know I had been kept as a doll for nobles to mold and corrupt. But my brothers could have worse fates.

I shook my head. "I'll tell them about the kind of people they are acquiring for jobs but," I shook my head. "I can't tell them about Rumple. It means explaining too much about who I am. “

Vaymond picked up another round of flatbread and ripped off a piece. Fishing out some of the stew he looked at it, like the stew would answer a question that’s been simmering in his mind. “What if we told them? Everything? Where I've been, people are accepting.”

My hand gripped the edge of the table as I watched him. “You’re joking.”

“If we are open about our situation, maybe they can help locate the others?” Vaymond then looked to Anne. Like she would be a good person to ask. “Do you think they would accept us?”

Anne opened her mouth then closed it as if she could sense my anger rising.

Vaymond was sheltered in his island. He never had to deal with the outside world. He got to walk in places we were safe. If he said something out of place, people understood what he meant. I knew what my group was like. I had seen them look at me like I had lost my mind.

“They recently released a prisoner. Because one person made an agreement with said prisoner, they let them go. I don’t know if the person even remembers who we are, what we do, what the inside of the house looks like. I don’t know… And I’m too low in the group to point out these things.” I licked my lips, some of the gravy had lingered there and the salt and spices fueled my mind. “From what I know right now. They are all nice people. Good people. Not heroes. But not Beasts. I’ve met only two Beasts and one has begged to not know what’s going on. The other, I still need to prove myself to.”

“You don’t have to prove you’re a monster to a monster,” Anne muttered before she fished out a piece of stewed meat and gleefully took a bite and hummed happily.

My brother let out a small understanding ‘ah’ sound. “I thought they were more like the people…” He paused and waved a hand. “You’re the one who knows outsiders. I’m sorry. If you think they’d ever understand?”

“I think they’ll be good allies, but nothing closer than that. I don't know if I'd ever trust them to come here. Traveling here.” I knew it was harsh for me to say it. That I had to clinically look at the people who swore to stand beside me and know if monsters came to their door, I would stand with them. But if I went out to seek my own vengeance, I wouldn’t want them there. They didn’t need to see my true self. They needed the bard, the kind smile, the person who could dance at a club, and the extra face in a crowd. 

They didn’t need what I really was. 

Vaymond looked at the nearly empty bowl of stew seeing the last bit of meat and potato left he pushed it forward for me. “I trust you. You’ll Find the Path, you’re better at it than the rest of us.”

[madhousedarry]

The Omen: Legacy of Lunacy | Chapter 20

Twenty years flew by for Nar-Tai like one night. And although all this time in his head there was nothing but creepy and surreal sticky nightmares, he still did not notice how all these years passed for him as quickly as if he had just gone to sleep for about eight hours and then woken up at eight o'clock in the morning, well, just like in the story, based on which John Carpenter shot his famous film "Aliens Among Us" or "They Live" in the alternative translation of Leonid Volodarsky.

But there was nothing surprising about that. After all, he had spent all those twenty years in suspended animation, lying in a glass bath filled to the brim with liquid nitrogen, and before that, the caring "Doctor Aybolit", who was present when he fell asleep, had given him glycerin to drink, thanks to which his intestines had not rotted during all that time, but were as fresh and fragrant as they had been twenty years ago, heh-heh!

But although for him these twenty years flew by like one night, the process of awakening for Nar-Tai was very painful, since it did not happen all at once, but in four stages ("Omen IV: The Awakening" will not let you lie!).

At first, our brave superhero thought he was in the glaciers, and that even he himself was nothing more than a big piece of ice. Then he began to think that he was no longer an ice cube, but a cauliflower growing in a greenhouse under the rays of the sun.

Then he was finally able to feel a tongue in his mouth, but since he had not yet fully woken up, he thought that it was not actually a tongue, but an icicle that had somehow formed inside his mouth.

And only when he suddenly began to feel how invisible, but at the same time very rough hands began to roll, break, rub and even beat him, he realized that he was he, and that no unusual transformations had happened to his body, and that all his feelings had simply failed him for a while, which had returned to him only now.

He opened his eyes and saw that he was in a huge room with a high ceiling. He was lying on a bed covered with a white sheet, and his chest was hidden under a blanket of the same color. He was lying on his back, and his head was resting on a small, hard pillow.

He tried to move his right arm, but it felt like lead, like a police baton. He tried to move his left arm, but it was in the same condition. Finally, he tried to stand up, but that was beyond his strength.

He realized that he had woken up enough to understand that he was still alive, but not enough to begin living the full life of a healthy thirty-nine-year-old - after all, in suspended animation he had not gained a single extra year! - a man with steel skin and platinum bones, who in his normal state could do anything, but now, alas, he would have to wait until his body, not yet fully awakened from a twenty-year sleep, was ready for new exploits.

In the meantime he had to lie and wait, wait for who knows how long until he was finally able to at least try to assume any other position than "lying on his back." Yes, it was not such an easy task to wake up from a twenty-year sleep, my little green friend!

You probably expected that after sleeping for such a long time, you would immediately jump out of bed like a fresh pickle and burst into cheerful bird trills upon waking up? Fuck you, faggot, go finish first grade, and then take my book in your hands! But for now, sit and study, STUDY, as Grandpa Lenin bequeathed!

What, are you offended by me, my little green friend? So why are you reading my book then, if you are so touchy? But I didn't advise you anything bad, my little green friend! I only said that you should study!

And you're offended, right? Well, fuck you, be offended as much as you want until you burst with anger. And I'll go continue writing my book, I guess. I still have a lot to write before I can finally say with a clear conscience that the book is finished and it's time to push it to print. Or not to print, but to samizdat, but in our time it's all the same crap, which is no sweeter than a radish.

In the meantime, I'll continue writing this chapter so you don't get bored. You've probably already decided that I, Darry Madhouse, suddenly interrupted the story to have a little chat with you. But I didn't.

I just needed to explain a few things about the plot, and you could have easily skipped those paragraphs and moved on to the next one. But since you, my little green friend, didn't do that, you only have yourself to blame! And I, Darry Madhouse… I'll continue writing my book.

So when Nar-Tai realized that he was awake and lying in bed, but he couldn't move his arms or legs, he knew what he had to do. He had to call someone to his bedside to come and explain what was going on.

And along the way, he would tell him what had happened to his friends and when he would finally be able to get out of bed and live like a human being, not a vegetable. And he did it. Namely, he opened his mouth, which, by the way, was quite easy for him to do in his current state, and quietly said:

"Hello, hello, hello! It's already light in the forest!"

And he heard someone approach his bed. Nar-Tai looked up and saw a young and handsome man with Asian slanted eyes and yellow skin. He was wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt, jeans and white sneakers.

There was a sad half-smile on his face, and his whole face expressed compassion mixed with joy, as if he was glad to see a man lying in a hospital bed in front of him, awakened from twenty years of suspended animation, but at the same time he wanted to tell him something that, with a high degree of probability, would spoil his mood.

But the young man was not going to say anything like that just yet. Instead, he just stopped at the head of the bed and said in the pleasant voice of a resident of a southern country called Jopon:

"Have a nice awakening, Mister Tairymbayev!"

Nar-Tai felt so awkward that this young man saw him lying motionless on the bed like a complete loser, that he even blushed in response to these words of the young man, which, strangely enough, immediately returned his good mood, so much so that he - voila! - was able to find the strength to lift his right hand from the sheet!

The young man, noticing that his words had a positive effect on the patient's condition - or was it the patient? - immediately began to shower him with words, as if he hoped to raise Nar-Tai to his feet, as if some kind of spell had taken place here.

"Dad and I couldn't wait for your awakening day. You remember him, my dad?"

"Uh-uh," Nar-Tai drawled, trying to figure out who was standing in front of him now, "who's your dad? And who are you? And where the hell am I anyway?!"

Growing more and more angry with each word, Nar-Tai felt with pleasant surprise that every word, no matter whether he heard it from someone else or said it himself, gave him strength, and by the time he said "where the hell", he had already jumped out of bed, throwing off the blanket along the way and standing before the young man in Adam's costume, who had retreated in horror.

That is, to put it simply, he was naked as a falcon. And if someone hasn't gotten the meaning of these definitions, then we'll have to say it frankly - he was naked. At all. He didn't even have any underwear on.

But it didn't matter to Nar-Tai, who was already so angry that, without even noticing it, he grabbed the young man by the chest and shook him hard, causing him to flounder in his arms like a fish caught out of water. At the same time, his eyes, in which a silent question was frozen, were ready to pop out of their sockets, and a barely audible wheeze came from his mouth.

And only when the young man's face began to change from yellow to blue - the same color as his shirt - did Nar-Tai realize that he was doing something stupid and immediately let go of the young man, causing the latter to fall to the floor, but, to the great relief of both, he did not break, but only got a bump on the crown of his head and immediately sat on his ass, rubbing his neck with his hands.

The young man was very handsome, and Nar-Tai thought that he shouldn't have treated him like that, but he immediately realized that it wasn't his fault - anyone in his place, after waking up from a twenty-year sleep, would have rushed at the first person they met with the desire to count all of his ribs.

And the young man, who seemed to be thinking the same way, was not offended by Nar-Tai, but, having finished massaging his cervical vertebrae, got up from the floor and, having tidied up his blue shirt, which had been crumpled during the squabble, approached Nar-Tai and, looking him straight in the eyes, said:

"Forgive me, Mister Tairymbayev, for treating you like this…" and he hesitated, apparently not knowing what to say.

"Oh, come on, boy," Nar-Tai said peacefully. "It's not your fault that I'm so angry when I wake up. And you, by the way," he looked at the young man more closely, "look a lot like my friend Ando."

At the sound of this name, the young man's lips stretched into a smile, and something resembling pride appeared in his eyes.

Unexpectedly for his interlocutor, he bowed, stood at attention and, without taking his eyes off Nar-Tai and keeping his hands at his sides, said:

"I am his sonnie, Tai Minamoto!" and he bowed again, this time to the ground.

Nar-Tai nodded reflexively in response, but then came to his senses and, assuming a stern expression, said:

"Are you kidding me or something?" he said without malice, but there was steel in his voice. "I remember that that brat wasn't even two days old, and look at you, you're such a warrior, you're at least twenty years old!"

Having said this, Nar-Tai immediately came to his senses - he suddenly remembered that he had spent twenty years in suspended animation, and therefore it was not at all surprising that that naked-assed boy who wet his diapers had grown into a handsome, handsome man during that time.

And Tai, who apparently thought the same thing at that moment, was not offended by Nar-Tai's words and instead laughed conciliatorily.

"Well, yes, once upon a time I really was a bug, but twenty years have passed since then, Mister Tairymbayev!" he said.

Nar-Tai laughed in response, then sat down on the bed, covering his crotch with both hands - for some reason, only at this moment did he realize that all this time he had been standing in front of the young man in Adam's costume.

He remembered that as a child he loved to peek through the keyhole while his father and mother were making love. And now he understood the reason for his strange behavior.

In addition, memories of how, as a child, he loved to look at the place between his mother's legs awoke in his head - and suddenly he realized: it was not just childish curiosity or a desire to see something new for himself, he wanted to look precisely because from an early age his testosterone level was much higher than that of all his peers.

And now, as he sat naked in front of the twenty-year-old boy, he understood that if this continued, he would not be able to stand it and would fuck him in all positions. And to prevent this from happening, he had to do one thing - find something to cover his private parts with.

And Tai, as if reading his thoughts, pulled out a pair of polka-dotted underwear from a chest standing near the bed and threw them to Nar-Tai, who, intercepting them in the air, immediately pulled them on and felt how the treacherous impulse finally left his body.

Now he could communicate with this young man without any fears that he could suddenly break loose and start trampling him like a rooster tramples a hen. And no, Nar-Tai was not gay. He just had this peculiarity of the body - without clothes, he immediately tried to fit his unit into a suitable hole.

And then there was one dick - a man in front of him or a woman - for his body there was no division into the partner's gender, since he grew up in conditions when a person, as a creature, has no gender at all - there is only a soul and the corporeal shell attached to it.

But now this problem has resolved itself, as soon as I put on my underwear.

True, they were a little small and quite noticeably pinched, but at least one could sit calmly next to a handsome young man of twenty years of age and have conversations with him about sublime matters that can only arise where love for all living things reigns.

However, it was necessary to speak about these things carefully, because the young man had probably already managed to hear all sorts of nonsense about gays, pedophiles and other vile individuals, which was why there was a risk that he would misunderstand his, Nar-Tai's, words and run away as fast as he could.

But since this did not happen, Nar-Tai finally allowed himself to relax and begin to attack the young man with questions about what had happened in the world during the entire time he had spent in suspended animation for twenty years.

"So, my dear Tai," said Nar-Tai, sitting on the bed and crossing his arms over his chest, "tell me how things are going? What's new from the outside world? How's, um," Nar-Tai wrinkled his forehead, trying to remember the people he was interested in, "that old geezer, you know, the Colonel…"

"Deadend Graver?" the young man prompted; it was obvious that he was eager to tell everything about everyone. "Comrade Colonel has go out."

"Where did he go?" Nar-Tai didn't understand.

"Let's put it this way," the young man began to choose his words, "Comrade Graver at the moment fully lives up to his name."

"Ah, he's dead, the old faggot!" Nar-Tai exclaimed joyfully. "Serves him right, the hemorrhoidal bastard…"

"In his place now is Boner Ghouler," Tai continued in the meantime, "whom there are rumors in the barracks that he eats guilty recruits for breakfast.

"I shouldn't have said that about my grandfather," Nar-Tai said in a completely different tone. "He was a fine man, a servant to the king, a father to the soldiers…"

It was unclear whether he had suddenly become seriously attracted to Deadend Graver, or whether he had simply pretended to have accidentally blurted out something wrong, but in any case, it made an impression on the young man, who, judging by his appearance, had turned red as a boiled lobster, which, given his yellow skin, was not so easy.

"I didn't know," he said in a timid voice a couple of minutes later, "that you were so close to the deceased," and he began to whine.

Nar-Tai, not knowing what to say, was silent for a few seconds. The situation was extremely awkward for both interlocutors: both felt awkward under each other's gazes and wanted one thing - for this unpleasant conversation to end quickly or at least turn into mutual reconciliation of the parties…

Finally, the silence was broken by the initiator of the conversation himself with his question:

"Okay, my dear Tai, don't shed tears, but rather tell me what happened to the others. For example, how is pan Grijas, who twenty years ago so kindly gave me a bottle of glycerin to drink when I was lowered into a bath of liquid nitrogen, doing?"

He thought that this question would calm the young man down, but he only seemed to become more upset.

"Oh, Mister Tairymbayev, why did you mention Albertas Vislovdovichus for no reason? - the boy almost cried."

"Uh-uh," Nar-Tai drawled, "so he's also, um-m…"

"Yes, Mister Tairymbayev, twenty years have passed, and when they put you in liquid nitrogen, he was already eighty-two years old…"

"Well, yes," nodded Nar-Tai, "few people live to be a hundred and two, except for whores… But let's not whine, let's have a man-to-man chat, remembering someone else, do you mind?" and, without waiting for the young man's answer, he immediately got ahead.

"How is your sister, Kari Minamoto, doing? I still remember how eight… No, TWENTY-EIGHT years ago she pissed all over me when I, while visiting your daddy, decided to take his newborn baby girl in my arms…"

"Oh," Tai immediately stopped crying, "my sister is already married! Now her name is Kari Kamiya and she already has three children, and her whole family is happy, like no other!"

"So, you see, there is happiness in the Universe, as long as a man is alive!" Nar-Tai exclaimed joyfully, approvingly patting the boy on the shoulder. "And how is Anton Skovorodnikov, who helped me immerse myself in a bath of liquid nitrogen, pan Grijas - Antichrist rest his soul?"

"Not everything is all right here," the guy immediately became serious. "He was brought to this lousy Analda by some evil spirit, where he ran off to when he stupidly fell in love with some forty-two-year-old cunt with some idiotic last name - either Whoreira or Vagineira, it doesn't really matter. But the main thing is," Tai continued, his eyes seeming to sparkle with anger, "that this cunt of our poor Skovorodnikov went and handed him over to the authorities there, and now poor Anton is sitting in a stinking Analdian prison, where he is tortured every day for secret information about what arsenals our army has and how many soldiers it has."

"Yeah, the guy was unlucky, he was lured by an old whore with her painted cunt," Nar-Tai shook his head. "And you don't know why he suddenly fell in love with her so much that he forgot about everything and rushed from Pet-el-burge to lousy Analda?"

"How could I not know, when in the barracks everyone talks about nothing else! - the young man exclaimed in his heart. - I understood from the very beginning that the man was lost when he started on the Internet…

"Wait, wait, my friend, not so fast," Nar-Tai stopped him. "Let's tell me everything about Anton Skovorodnikov in order, okay?"

"It's coming," the young Joponese man agreed with him.

Nar-Tai nodded in approval, and the young man, having calmed down a little, continued his story.

[y-so-hungry]

You right

I bring him home and we put away all the food, his poor stomach still gurgling. Just before he begins making himself a late breakfast I stop him, and hold up a wide ribbon. I slowly wrap it around his stomach and pull it tight, sucking his belly in past his ribs and making it growl even louder. Then I have him sit at the breakfast bar in the kitchen while I make him food.

His belly grumbles loudly as I make pancakes, microwave oatmeal, toast frozen waffles, scramble eggs, heat up muffins, and cut up a bowl of fruit. Each time I finish a dish I place it in front of him but tell him not to eat until each one is done. The steam rising from each warm food is enough to send his stomach into a frenzy of hungry grumbling.

Eventually I finish it all and sit next to him, and begin to feed him. We start with the bowl of fruit, and it feels painfully slow for the poor man. He wishes I would go faster, or feed him something more substantial, because his belly his howling around the small morsels of strawberries, grapes, and bananas. It's true the small amount of sugar is helping him feel better, but really it seems to be just giving him the energy to really feel how starved he is.

A pair of frozen waffles comes next, plain because they're pretty sweet on their own, and he'll be getting syrup with the pancakes anyway. Finally it starts to feel like he's actually eating something, but they're gone too quick, and his belly is still left grumbling for more. That ribbon hasn't been getting any tighter yet.

The muffins come after, blueberry ones, with juicy berries that fall apart nicely between his teeth. They're not big, but after three of them he's definitely starting to feel less hungry. Not quite enough to stop, after all he hasn't eaten since yesterday night, but that ribbon is starting to get a little tight.

I feed him scrambled eggs next, just to break up the monotony of carbs. They go down fast and easy, much less chewing needed. He huffs a little after the last bite and says he's starting to feel full. But the pancakes and oatmeal are still on the counter, and that ribbon isn't quite tight enough to take off yet.

Then we start on the pancakes. There's only three, but they're big enough that his belly begins to gurgle a bit after the second one, and my the third he's whining, the ribbon bulging and stretching against his stomach. I rub his belly a bit and he whines a bit more, both from pain and pleasure, tightness becoming more than he can bear. So I slowly begin to loosen the ribbon, his belly rounding out, food gurgling and sloshing as it shifts in his stomach. He's full, but without the ribbon, there's just enough room left...

The last thing to eat is oatmeal. I didn't make too much, knowing how full he would be by the end, but it's enough that he'll be stuffed to the brim now. It's been long enough that some of the food has moved to his intestines, so with this bowl of oatmeal he'll be thoroughly stuffed to the brim. He eats it slowly, swallowing it down with a huff at each bite. By the time he eats the last one he let's out a satisfied groan, laying his head back against the chair.

I smile and rub his belly as I eat a dinner of my own before we head to bed. He cradles his belly in his hands as we walk there, his stomach gurgling loudly as the food inside shifts again.

I lay next to him in bed and rub his belly as it burbles and grumbles under my hands.

Good boy

Imagine going grocery shopping with a hungry man. Hearing his belly rumbling over the clattering cart. Seeing his eyes following all his favorite snacks as we walk near them, his belly gurgling louder as we get closer. I tell him we can buy whatever he wants, and he starts filling up the cart, piling it full the same way he wishes he could do with his belly. Poor thing forgot to eat breakfast before we left, so at least half of it is cereals, frozen waffles, pancake mix, muffins from the bakery--and all the way that poor empty belly will not give him a break.

I hug him from behind and rub his tummy as we wait in line to check out, and listen to the poor thing growling all the way home.

Little does he know I'm going to make him eat a serving of every single thing he piled in that cart as soon as we walk in that door...

[dorothea-jpg]

Homework Headache

Una stared at the dreaded sheet of paper in disgust. She was given her maths homework by her grumpy teacher who wasted no time moving on to their next victim. Una contemplated just shoving the sheet in her mouth and eating it but she worried that it would give her intestines a papercut (That's what Nash made her believe anyway)

She could probably ask one of the Fire Elementals to burn it for her but she knew Nash would clip her in the back of her head and his hits hurt badly since he is an Orc, after all, and his entire family were also major sports nuts who loved to work out in their spare time, including Nash.

The next thought she had was to just not do it and then tell the teacher that her little brother ate it (Which is likely but as if the teacher would believe it). Una's final straw was to just run away and live in the mountains, meet a cute werewolf who liked to look at sunsets, get married and start a family with said werewolf, get divorced, get remarried after careful reconsideration, grow old together and die...

Nash stared at the moth girl with an unimpressed look. Even with her far-away expression, he could still tell what she was thinking and honestly he was tired. Is this what it would be like to be a father? Constantly worried about whether or not your child can even survive with their lack of concentration skills? Nash has never really considered having kids but he was definitely getting tons of practice with Una and his other friend, Ollie around. Monday, he had to smack a bay leaf out of Una's hands as she was about to eat it. Tuesday, he had to scoop Ollie up with a small shovel when he lost his shape due to a mishap in the lunch hall. Saturday, he had to pull Una back from the road before she got squashed by a bus and those were only a few things he has to do.

Nash felt himself roll his eyes and poked one of Una's wings to try and get her attention. It didn't work so he resorted to tugging on her antennae. 

Una swatted Nash's green hand away as she stared at him with an annoyed pout and whined "Owww" Nash sighed "I'll help with the homework you pest, you don't have to consider running away with the circus" Una's eyes glowed with excitement "I've never thought of that one before! It must be so cool being a clown..." Una let herself trail off along with her thoughts as Nash examined the worksheet that she was given. 

Nash grunted in annoyance. He remembered Una's mum calling the school, asking if Una could get easier work or at least extra help since she was struggling so much with the work she was being given. Headmaster Carbonne said that he would take it into consideration but it had been at least a month and there had been no change. 

"Okay, how about we just do some of this in school and I can come over to yours tonight and help you do the rest? Uh, Una?" Nash snapped his fingers in front of Una's face "Oh sorry, I was thinking about the clown thing. What were you saying?" she asked "Just that we should try and do half of your homework in school and half of it at home? That sound good to you?" Una nodded her head, her fluff moving with her. 

The next lesson that Una had was drama. She really loved her drama teacher. She was a sweet older Elf woman with grey dreadlocks that she always kept in a bun and a voice that had the ability to make anyone feel safe. Unfortunately, neither Nash nor Ollie were in Una's group but her teacher made up for that with her fun lessons. 

Una liked this specific teacher for one reason and one reason alone; she was never impatient with her. She never yelled and she was never cruel whenever Una lost her focus, when she asked obvious questions or when she didn't understand the assignment. Her name was Mrs Heledan and she was a cool teacher. 10/10.

Una entered the classroom with a calm feeling. It was the complete opposite of what she felt in her maths classroom. Una had gotten there early so there were only a few people in the classroom before the rest came barreling in. In the room, there was a little space by the entrance door so that students could set their things down and in the middle, there was a clean, spotless green carpet with a few pillows scattered around and just behind there was a small stage, a box of props and a few blue plastic chairs. At the front was Mrs Heledan's desk, it was very organised with every little thing in its place but scattered around the dark brown wood were little notes, stickers, drawing etc. from all of her previous students. It was quite cute honestly.

Mrs Heledan smiled at Una as she grabbed one of the scattered pillows and sat down on the green carpet before looking back at her computer, waiting for the rest of her students to arrive.

The students that were already there was a Healing Witch named Willow, a Cyclops named Monique, an Air Elemental named Aella and a Centaur named Malakai. Aella was in the corner sitting on one of the blue chairs, Malakai was sitting on the stage and staring at his phone and Monique and Willow looked like they were having fun being silly and messing around with the cheap props from the grey box.

As Una sat on the carpet, her thoughts began to run away with her again. This time, she began to imagine herself as a princess. Princess Una Autumn of falling leaves. Her father, the king, wanted to marry her off to some strange Elf Prince and there was nothing wrong with that... Or so it seemed. The Elf prince, Prince Lyklor of Waeslana, was a charming man. He was kind, he was generous, he was smart and he was empathetic, anyone would be overjoyed to be betrothed to him but there was only one problem that Princess Una had. She was was in love with someone else! A Human boy no less! His name was Giles, a lanky farmhand who lived in a small village not far from the falling leaves kingdom. Princess Una knew that no matter how much she pleaded with her father, he would never let her marry a farmhand over a wealthy prince with a bright future so she ran. She ran away with the love of her life and eloped. The two settled down in another small village, far away from the falling leaves and they had 5 kids and 2 Unicorn pets before they eventually grew old together and died together, their family also went out of their way to bury them together while they were holding hands...

Tap... Tap... Tap...

When Una awoke from her daydream due to the taps on her shoulder, there were more people in the classroom and Mrs Heledan was staring at her expectantly.

"Are you okay, Una?" It was Monique, the Cyclops girl. Una didn't really know much about her but she seemed nice. She had this certain vibe to her... or maybe it could be the pink pastels, who knows? Una nodded at the pastel girl "Yeah, you did interrupt something important tho..." Monique giggled nervously "Sorry... but Mrs Heledan called your name"

Una turned her attention to the Elf woman "Oh, sorry. I had this really cool thought about being a princess-"

"I'm going to stop you right there, sweetheart. I don't want to mess with your creative flow but I really need you to pay attention to this okay? I just don't want you to end up being a liability to your group" Huh? Group? Liability?? Usually, it didn't matter if Una paid attention or not as long as she participated...

Someone snickered at Una's confused expression "Do you think there's a rock instead of a brain up there?" they whispered to their friend. Mrs Heledan sighed at the giggles that overtook the classroom "That's enough of that, please" she dusted off her floral dress "Now then! As I was saying, I want to put you all into groups of four for this presentation, you may pick whatever subject you want but it has to be about a modern problem such as drinking, smoking, peer pressure etc. When I call out your names, please head over to the group I've picked for you and we can just have a little brainstorm"

As the names were being called out, Una tried her hardest to stay focused but the two birds sitting on two separate trees out of the window were saying otherwise. 

Advik, Monique, Aella, Caine...

It was a love story about two star-crossed lovers... doomed to be apart forever...

Malakai, Gadiel, Kae, Janna...

Oh! What was this? The bird on the left tree was ready to risk all that it was worth for its lover and it looked like its lover was too...

Willow, Lanette, Koba...

...

and Una.

...

Una was grumpy for the rest of the lesson. She really wanted to know what would happen to those two birds... Maybe they found a way to be together? Maybe it just wasn't meant to be and they just had to be separated for the rest of their lives...

Yeah... Una definitely preferred the first option. The thought of not having a happy ending was torture for the moth girl.

Everyone was packing up their stuff and leaving the classroom as soon as the bell rang. Una was doing the same thing, albeit a little bit slower but for some reason, Mrs Heledan wanted her to stray behind so they could talk for a bit. She walked up to her teacher after slinging her backpack onto her shoulders "What's up?" she asked casually. Mrs Heledan smiled at her but it was a bit forced "Una" she started "I want to give you some homework" 

There it was. The dreaded words came out of Una's favourite teacher's mouth. It almost felt like a betrayal.

"Uh, did I do something wrong? If I did I definitely won't do it again and I've already learnt my lesson so you don't have to give me homework besides I already have-" Mrs Heledan's chuckle cut Una's ramble short. To Una, it sounded like some sort of cartoon villain's laughter.

"This isn't a punishment, my love. I only want you to write something for me" The Elf woman handed Una a few sheets of white lined paper with little illustrations at the bottom of them along with a few straps of cute stickers that she could use for more expression. 

"I want you to write about your daydreams. Anything you want really. It could be about how they help you cope, how you struggle with focusing and paying attention to your surroundings because of them, you know, that sort of thing" 

Una looked at the woman confused "Why?" she simply asked. Mrs Heledan's smile didn't falter "I want to see if you can try and focus on this one thing for me. You're a lovely student and a lovely girl but sometimes you're a little bit difficult to teach, I just want you to try and focus on this and get in for me by the next three weeks. Can you do that?" 

Una wanted to run away. Just run away from civilisation and the world but Mrs Heledan's hopeful tone made Una crack.

"Ok" was all the girl said before grabbing the paper softly and rushing out of the classroom

Later on, at Una's house...

"I can't believe I just ended up doing this whole thing for you" Nash huffed as he finished up the last question on Una's maths homework. When Una didn't reply, Nash looked back at her with concern. She was laying in a starfish position on her creaky bed, looking like there were no thoughts behind her eyes.

Nash spun Una's desk chair in her direction and frowned "Daydreaming again?" He asked. Una shook her head no. Nash frowned again, something was up but he couldn't put his finger on it. Una's maths homework was done and out of the way, It couldn't be her brother annoying her because he had been at his friend's house all day, Una should be fine. She was simple like that.

Nash made a grunting sound as he stood up from the yellow desk chair and sat down on Una's bed carefully.

"What's up? Usually, you're all energised and crap when I'm over" Una groaned and grabbed her giant strawberry pillow "Mrs Heledan gave me more homework. I thought she liked me..." Nash stared at his friend, stunned before he burst out in laughter.

"Homework? Again? That's what all this is about? Oh gods, Una. You had me worrying about you for a second, you idiot" Una squealed at Nash's howling laughter "It's not funny!" she whined "She wants me to write about how my daydreams 'affect my everyday life'... Like, what does that even mean?"

Nash chuckled "Maybe she's just trying to get you to focus on something for once? Maybe that's why she chose something that you could write hundreds of pages about" Una sighed "I can't though, I wouldn't know the first thing about writing something like that. Beside's, I didn't even know my daydreams were a problem until you started talking to me about it"

"No, I think this is something you're capable of doing by yourself" Nash's confidence in her was heartwarming but Una couldn't believe it "No, Nash. Please, I really need your help with this one" Nash looked at the smaller girl with raised eyebrows "I can't help you with this, Autumn. You're going to have to figure it out yourself" He said sternly, getting ready to get up and leave. 

Una panicked and grabbed his muscular arm "Wait, Please" Una whined at him with eyes that she knew he couldn't resist, not since they were little kids. Nash almost popped a blood vessel trying not to crack but in the end, Una got away with it. He had cracked.

"UGH! FINE!"

Una giggled and flopped back down on her bed. This time, Nash had joined her and laid down by her side.

Silence comfortable fell upon the two. It was nice until Nash decided to break it "You know I can't just do this for you right? I don't know what or how you this of this so you're going to have to do most of the work" Una nodded "I know but it's not me having to actually do work that's bothering me... It's the subject. I don't know what in the four realms I'm supposed to write..." 

"When is it due anyway?" 

...

"Three weeks"

...

...

...

"Oh no"

~*~

The next day, Una, Nash and Ollie were hanging out in their usual hang-out spot, Panama Haven. It was a pretty small cafe and Ollie's grandmother just so happened to be the owner. She was a lovely lady. who always gave the three students extra marshmallow bags whenever they were there.

"I think it's a great opportunity, you know? Talk about some stuff and get it out of your head" Ollie commented as the other two caught him up on recent events. 

"Shouldn't I just get a therapist then?" Una asked with genuine curiosity. Nash shook his head "Therapy's expensive, besides why go to therapy when you can just do boxing?" Ollie just gave Nash a look "Not everyone wants to punch their feelings out, I know for a fact that I would get destroyed if I tried boxing, what about you, Una?" Ollie asked.

"I wanna be a butterfly..." She mumbled.

"...What?" Ollie and Nash questioned in sync. Una looked at her friends with wide eyes "Oh, I just think butterfly insectoids are pretty" 

"That literally has nothing to do with-" Nash rubbed at his eyes and chuckled "Nevermind, Una. I gotta get to practise now anyway, I'll see you, kids, later" Nash stopped himself from rushing out of the cafe. His sentence just sunk in. Ollie and Una grinned at each other and then said in perfect synchronisation...

"Bye, dad!"

Nash scowled and rushed out of the cafe with a blush on his forest green cheeks.

~*~

Una went home that day and tried to write about her daydreams, just like Mrs Heledan said but nothing was coming to her. It was like all of her brain energy and functionality flew out o the window and was never seen again. She wonders again, what if she just runs away? Will that solve all of her problems? Probably...

But... would her mum miss her? Her brother? Ollie and Nash?

She doesn't know but she knew that she would definitely miss them so the runaway thoughts were stored in the back of her mind, never to be seen again... At least until the situation gets desperate.

But what was she going to do? 

...

"MUM!" 

...

Una's mother, Opal, sat on her daughter's bed just staring at her "Just write about your daydreams. You have enough of them to write loads about it" Una just groaned at Opal's suggestion "Nash said the exact same thing! I don't know what to write. She said to write about struggles but I don't have any struggles. Daydreams are just fun"

That gave Opal an idea.

"Then don't write about your struggles! Just write down one of your daydreams! What about the one where you turned into a stuffed toy and had to save an entire kingdom of stuffies and eventually became their queen?" Una's eyes sparkled at her mother "That's such a good idea! Thank you, mum!" Una squealed before kissing Opal on the cheek.

The following morning, Una went into school all sparkly and bubbly. During her lunch break, she had to leave Ollie and Nash in the canteen as she wandered to the drama room.

Una knocked on the door to make sure Mrs Heledan wasn't busy. A soft 'Come in' was all Una heard before she entered. Mrs Heledan smiled at Una "Hello, What's wrong?" Una just grinned as an answer and dropped the three sheets of paper that had been neatly stapled together onto the woman's desk. 

"You've done it already? Wow..." Mrs Heledan remarked, clearly surprised that Una had even attempted. Looking at the messy handwriting and cutesy stickers spread all over the papers, Mrs Heledan had begun to read. Una had stared at her teacher the entire time, waiting for her reaction. She was hoping it would be a good one.

When Mrs Heledan was done, she looked at Una with wide eyes "Well, this isn't what I wanted but..." Una picked at her fluff in anticipation "This... Is incredible!" It was Una's turn to be shocked, she expected the older woman to just say 'well done' and move on but this? Wow. 

"I never knew you could write like this, Una! Have you ever considered becoming an author when you leave school? Maybe a children's book author?" 

"It was that good? I just wrote down one of my daydreams because I didn't know what to write..." Una mumbled. Mrs Heledan nearly scoffed at the ridiculous situation "You have a real talent here, Una. You would be wise not to waste it" The Elf bit her lip "Is it alright if I keep this? I want to stick this up on the little wall of fame we have up there, see?" Mrs Heledan pointed at the little shrine she had on the wall. It had all kinds of things on there such as art, writing, and surreal projects, it was all very creative.

"Yeah, sure" Una replied with a smile. She couldn't wait to tell everyone about this.

[necros-writing-stuff]

Okay Okay here’s my Ghost getting a noncon blowjob discord ramble - gn nurse, possibly OOC on Ghost’s behalf. He’s having a rough few days (got stabbed, having PTSD symptoms from childhood).

I won’t be using the main Ghost tags cause most people there don’t seem into the dead dove.

So the 141 got a new nurse to help out at base. They're quiet at first before opening up to everyone, but it's not hard to see that they seem to have a hard time talking to Ghost. But it's Ghost, he thinks that answering "Affirmative," to a simple question constitutes as a conversation, so no one can really blame their nurse for only giving the Lt. a brief smile as they pass him in the corridors and never more.

That's until he comes back passed out from a leaking stab wound. The lads had gone out drinking, just a local bar. Ghost had had a few, and as they'd started stumbling their way back to the base (walking that far seems fun when you're hammered), he'd stopped to take a piss in an alley. Hadn't seen the guy shaking behind a skip, clutching a knife. He'd had too many, letting his guard down for once in his damn life - and now he's paying for it.

Countless missions around the world. A shitty ass childhood. Nuclear bombs going off not even mile away from him. And it's some fuckin’ back-alley nutcase that manages to get a good enough hit to kill him.

Thankfully, it doesn't actually kill him. But he does feel confused when he wakes up in the medical bay, the newest nurse prodding at his side and making him wince. They flinch as soon as they notice he's awake, as if they'd been caught doing something wrong. He notices, with relief, that he's still got a mask on. Hides the quirk of his lips at seeing them so jumpy.

"You're conscious, that's good," they mutter quietly, slinking off before he can ask how the fuck he got here. He probably yelled out when he'd been shanked, the lads coming and dealing with it and dragging his sorry arse home.

The doc comes in soon enough, gives him the lowdown. He's on bedrest for the next week. Because the knife knicked his small intestine and its a bitch to heal, along with some pain meds and steroids to get him up and rolling as soon as he can manage. Shit.

Ghost hates being stuck inside. Hates that every fucking thing he does is being monitored "for his health" and that its that nurse that has to do it because doctors don't waste their time on helping patients waddle to the loo and the other nurses are on leave since the squad were all on breaks. He hates the feeling of being high on those painkillers.

And fuck Soap and Gaz, too. Coming to visit just to tease him as Ghost's personal little tender switches out his gauze. They try to get them to join in, but they just give a tight-lipped smile before finishing up and running away again.

"The fuck you even do to them? They act like you tried to kill them once." Soap shakes his head, eyes following as the nurse disappears beyond the closing door.

"Nothing I'm aware of," Ghost huffs, shifting his hips and trying to get more comfortable, ignoring the pain in his stomach, “but at least they make a nice cup of tea.” That gets a chuckle and some jokes at his “Too English” expense.

Lying in bed all day is starting to make his body ache, he wants to be out, wants to go on the longest fucking run of his life. But every time he moves there's still that telltale sharp pain.

He's stubborn. But he's not stupid. He knows to be a good boy and follow the doc's orders, or he'll fuck himself up even worse and won't be back in the field for a long, long time.

He misses it. Misses the adrenaline of it all, the justified rage that can take over him so much it plateaus out into a calm coolness that helps him kill with all that precision. Like therapy to him, that. A fucked up form of therapy, sure. But it helps him not take it out on those that don't deserve it.

The lads leave him for the night, and he sighs as he settles in to sleep. The nurse comes back, closes the curtain around his bed and mutters quietly that they'll be back at 6am to check on him, but to press the button if he needed anything. He just nods, waiting to hear the door close before he takes the mask off and places it on the side.

He's never been one to sleep much, but he comes to prefer mornings in the bay. His body feels looser then, relaxed for reasons he can't figure out. Still, he never let him self sleep in. Never slept past 5am on a good day, and it seems tonight is no different. Ghost wakes up in the pitch-blackness of the medical bay, groaning and stiff.

Because someone's between his legs with their tongue lapping at his cock like a thirsty mutt. There's a mix of feelings bubbling in his chest. Anger, sure. Confusion. Fear that he's being sexually assaulted in his own base by an anonymous abuser. He half thinks he's dreaming, but the little licks are too sharply pleasant to be imaginary.

He stops moving as the tongue halts, the owner pausing to guess if he had woken up or not. He fakes sleep, keeping his breathing even until his assailant goes back to violating him. Slowly, his hand creeps from the mattress, finding the switch for the lamp.

He flips it on, surprised to be met with the wide stare of his nurse. Deer in the headlights, that's the look.

He doesn't speak. Isn't exactly sure what to say. It being that nurse is only confusing him more. They avoid him, always. As much as they can. Yet they're the one making his dick leak pre with the sweet attention they give.

There's a long, long period of silence as they stare each other down, a game of chicken to see if he'll pounce and start pummelling or if they'll run away before he can.

He doesn't expect them to slowly start licking again, one, two, three stripes of their tongue up and down before sucking him as far into their eager mouth as he can go.

So many things he's done. So many experiences that few things surprised him anymore, yet since the night of being stabbed he's had more new experiences than in the past, oh, 5 years at least. Not good ones, that's for sure.

His breath catches as they suck particularly hard, an odd noise coming from his throat as his mouth falls open and his hips jolt.

They don't break eye contact the entire time, and he's suddenly very aware that the mask is off. But they've already seen his face - and evidently a lot more.

His brain starts working again, patterns he hadn't realised were there falling into place. He always feels better in the mornings. More relaxed, his body pleasantly tired in that way he would get after the occasional (very rare) wank he granted himself. This isn't the first time his little helper had done this. But how hadn't he noticed-

Pain meds. They'd knocked him out right good for the night. His dose was reduced this morning.

He still doesn't know what to do. It makes him feel vulnerable in a way that he hasn't felt since he was a kid, being tormented by his father - by his brother hanging down from the top bunk whispering with that mask on. He can't look away, can only stare wide-eyed as he grunts and moans before his head lolls back just from how good it feels.

He's breathing hard, the addition of his nurse's hands gently massaging the base of his cock and a thumb making tiny little teasing circles on his ball-sack sending him over the edge shamefully quickly.

They swallow everything. Pull off of him with a sickeningly wet pop before putting him away clinically as if they'd just been examining his dick for medical purposes.

"You should catch some more sleep, sir," they whisper, leaning over and clicking the lamp off before they leave him alone in that dark room once more.

He's trembling now. Stuck gazing up at the tiles in the ceiling as his head drifts away. It's not right. None of that was okay. So why the fuck didn't he do something to make it stop? Why couldn't he move, speak, fucking blink Morse code?

He’s not some kid. He’s a trained soldier, the one called when you want the job done with as few loose strings as humanly possible. With no traces, no evidence, no photos. So why?

Why does he let them do it again in the morning, with a happy little smile on their face as he wonders where the fuck Ghost went and Simon Riley took his place.

[jae-canikeepyou]

| into you | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 7.7k+

summary: as the uni campus’ social butterfly, it’s a given you have a lot of friends, invited to almost all gatherings and all adore you. for the latter, jaehyun does too. he’s so into you and likes how you’re his happy place. or; jaehyun— an unsocial, often misunderstood person, finds his behaviour different with you and perhaps wants to keep you for himself, not anyone else.

genre: fluff + elite!au

a/n: i’m back after a while since i’ve been so so busy! this is not proofread again and i’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes down there :> this is not canon with “letting go” scenario in case there’s any similarities with the characters. hehe anyway i hope you all enjoy reading! ♡ ~j.

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seated at the front row in the amphitheatre-shaped lecture hall, jaehyun frustratingly put his hood back on to hide himself from those who were staring from all around. they were definitely whispering about him, hands by their lips to conceal their voices in case he heard them. he hated this much attention, all because he chose stay of out school and classes— and claimed that it didn’t interest him.

so did coming today.

but the point was his attendance for this class was on the line and his busybody parents were sick of receiving phone calls or mails that kept filling their boxes, all for the same reason; that their son could be expelled despite handing assignments.

he rolled his eyes at the heat creeping up his ears as the whispers grew louder. he slammed the thin granite table, causing everyone to flinch at the sound and his presence. “can i have some quiet?! i can hear you guys talking crap about me!” he turned around at the pairs of eyes, soon frozen like meerkats.

they ticked him off. he couldn’t stand being in the same room with people who repeatedly questioned his existence of being here. he knew that rumours were going around, that the ‘jeong jaehyun’ in high school got into an private elite university— it could be anywhere but never expected it‘d be this campus. it was written in the judgment of their faces.

“chill man,” a guy his age swung his lollipop with legs on the desk. “some are curious why you decided to show up today since first semester’s a week away from ending, while some even wonder why you got into such prestigious and elite university.”

jaehyun’s eyed him slowly from legs to head. “who are you supposed to be?” he snorted at the stranger.

“just a guy who wants to break the distraught you’re trying to start.” he kicked his legs off the desk and stood up on his suede shoes, showing off his pearly whites.

he looked at everyone whose eyes averted from the two of them. “our town’s a small neighbourhood, so everybody knows everybody. we know exactly who you are, jeong jaehyun.”

“excuse me?” he swirled his tongue that it was evident he was pissed. “careful what you accuse me of. you and i both know it’s not going to end well-”

“they’re near they’re near!” a voice echoed the hall, cutting jaehyun’s attempt to intimidate the young man any further.

and with that signal alone, jaehyun could see and observe ladies fixing their hair and make-up, while the guys gave fistbumps to those near them. he rolled his eyes at him returning the favour to them as the guy unbuttoned his collar. “what’s wrong with you?” jaehyun was utterly weirded out. “with everyone?”

the crimson-haired guy only gave a flirty grin with raised brows. “this happens everytime.“

the door swung open with the professor rushing in. the students swifted heads, it wasn’t the first time he ever was late. he was young and good-looking, and it was hard to believe he still a bachelor. he gestured someone at the door, then the held-in giggles and mumbles were soon replaced with whispers of awe, as you walked in carefully with a tower of binder folders halfly covering your view.

clearly the guys around him have been secretly admiring; some had the confidence of taking selfies even if you were far, while others took a picture with their eyes so you were marked in their memories. ladies flocked towards the flustered professor like little chicks and surrounded him.

and that’s when the comments started coming in.

“park seojoon is so hot.” “hey remember to use ‘professor’.” “i guess genes runs in the family.” “his sister is ethereal too.” “i see her weekly and y/n’s a goddess.” “y/n! are you coming to the party tonight?”

jaehyun knew who you were through social media and common friends. and he included himself part of the people who admire you. he also remembered because he bumped into you during orientation. he wouldn’t usually care about passerby’s and strangers and although that was a brief moment and short eye contact, something about you was hard to not forget. you had people and friends under a charming spell he couldn’t describe, and that was in a good way.

you tucked a strand behind your ear and became shy afterwards as they whistled and cheered towards your gesture, making you heat up a thousand degrees higher. you should be used to this but every time it happens, you were just as flustered as your brother.

jaehyun’s legs got up on its own and was surprised at himself for making his way to help you. he picked up the fallen binder files and scattered papers while the whiskers by your eyes creased up in shyness.

he hitched a breath realising that the clumsy you was adorable too.

“thank you.” a smile then appearing at the corners of your lips caused jaehyun to freeze for a while. yuta wouldn’t miss anyone’s reaction. he slid his chair close to jaehyun’s as the he came back, nudging his chair for him to give into your beauty.

“i know a person with heart eyes when i see one. now you understand why we’re whipped for y/n. isn’t she a babe- agh.” he held the back of his head from the smack.

“don’t call me that, nakamoto.” you hissed sharply with how confident and careless he could get, especially with people you weren’t familiar with. you looked at the guy in a black sweater and let out an embarrassed sigh. “i’m sorry about my annoying best friend. yuta tends to be chatty when he feels lonely.” you winked at him.

it was jaehyun’s turn to flash short chuckle, its faint sounds perked not only your ears, but yuta’s as well. “not a problem. i know a lonely person when i see one.” jaehyun emphasised through his gaze.

“i’m not lonely! i have y/n and my men!” he whined and turned towards you. “see what you did y/n?”

“it’s good to finally see you, jeong jaehyun.” you ignored yuta and brought out a hand for a greeting.

you pursed your lips to stifle a laugh, jaehyun’s ears quickly turned from pink to red. he gulped loudly and took your hand in his, eyebrows lifting at how you knew his name.

lost for words and you both locked eyes where he forgot to let your hands go. “we take the same course together? i know your name because you’re the only one missing from the class-” you said, shaking his hands to subtly let him know it had been a minute since your hands felt his vainey flesh.

“okay young lad that’s enough time holding my sister.” seojoon separated your hands and jaehyun snapped out of his admiration, inhaling quite stressfully with how stupid he looked. “get to your class y/n.”

“alright, i’ll see you at tea hour.” you waved at the boys.

“as long as you’re treating i’ll go.” yuta hummed in a monotonous voice, fixing his laces that went untied.

“i’m not talking to you dimwit.” you flicked his forehead, leading to your satisfaction of the nut-like sound from it. “jaehyun, because you missed yesterday’s class, prof assigned me to assist you, along with the other topics you’ve yet to cover. i’ll be expecting you at the café near campus.”

before you stepped out of the hall, yuta pulled your sweater, yanking you back. “are you going to taeyong’s party tonight? you never miss an event!”

you puckered your lips, pinching his cheeks that a cute gummy smile came out from it. “you know my rules. as long as you’re driving me home, i’ll go. see you later.”

jaehyun nodded yet was still in a daze. he realised what you said when yuta pushed him. “gross. don’t act as if we’re already close.��

“hm? was i really? i think it’s normal when you’re making a move on my best friend.” he brought out his laptop and typed his password.

i wasn’t. “whatever.”

and to say that jaehyun didn’t feel butterflies flying uncontrollably in his stomach would be an understatement. they made the intestine churn in ways he couldn’t imagine, and he himself wanted to deny that what he was feeling was just from the influence of others. but wouldn’t that mean his feelings were temporary? because if it were, he should perceive you an ordinary person.

yet here he was outside, still admiring you before he entered the café. he found it was amusing of how oblivious you were of his presence— you were too immersed into this assigned task by professor, but others found it funnier when jaehyun looked stupidly in-love and cowardly the lad looked, despite having the overall aura of a stuck-up.

as the sun’s rays brightened the city and the wind’s breeze made the trees leaves dance, only then had you raise your head to see jaehyun waving at you. ten minutes early, not bad for an actual first impression. “hey,” he greeted, making you smile with his low but gentle voice. “am i late?”

you took your bag from across and asked him to sit down. “no no. you’re just in time, it’s really nice to have an early bird around.”

his dimples deepened at the compliment. “how about the project? is it too late? you think i can still catch up?” jaehyun cleared his throat.

“that depends on your dedication. based on the record professor gets, you’ve been doing your tasks and homework quite diligently. he’s just worried about your habit of not attending his lectures might lead to procrastination when second semester starts.” you gave him a slice of cheesecake to eat. “he’s still teaching us another subject.”

“it’s quite the contrary.” he dove in for the dessert. “i don’t have the will to procrastinate at all.”

“then good.” you twisted the pen in your fingers. “let’s get started?”

for that span of two hours, how he wished it could be more. who knew you would have a lot of things in common with him? that time alone was not enough to talk about vinyl and jazz singers and pretty much everything that were overlooked by people. he brought up his favourite spots in the city and how they became a safe haven to escape the reality.

to cut the explaining short, his shell slowly started to open, bits and new things were showing. if you were surprised he was a good person, jaehyun himself couldn’t believe he was able to converse with people normally. being the awkward and shy type, doing this almost seemed impossible.

was it your magic that caused him to do so?

you learnt that jaehyun was rather special and by special it meant he had gifts that you believed were way beyond human limits. he never studied in a library, rewatched lectures or written his notes. and the professor mentioned how jaehyun received good grades in most of the things he submitted.

to be very honest, you were a little jealous. from how he was sitting in front of you, he didn’t seem to be interested but was definitely listening. and you sort of gave up in continuing anyway. “i don’t understand why i’m told i need to guide you when you’ve already caught up with everything.” you let out a soft chuckle that seemed more of a question.

“i was waiting for you to stop..” jaehyun said quite blatantly and stretched his arms and you were hurt because if he didn’t want to, he could’ve said so. heck, even more so, he shouldn’t have come here and wasted time-

“..because it looked like you were forced to do this by prof.” his smile then faded seeing you mirror the same. “are you alright? you’re a little pale..”

your eyes widened. “oh uh, sorry, i assumed-” you sputtered and probably died inside with what he said. you cursed in your mind. dammit y/n.

jaehyun raised his brows, making you more flustered and panicky. you sighed and waved your ‘its-nothing’ hand. “assumed that i’m brusque and a stuck-up?”

he pierced his eyes at you and you weren’t going to lie, he scared you a bit. but that fear immediately disappeared when a gentle giggle and adorable dimples replaced it. “i get that a lot, but don’t worry. i’m different from what people think. they think i’m not friendly, a-and a loner too.”

“you’re not.” he heard you counter him, slightly slamming the fork down. “if you were, you wouldn’t be here with me. or even bothered to come.”

his heart became warm through your words, that act of kindness torn down his walls of inferiority and his perception towards people changed. “thanks.” he checked the time on his watch and twisted his wrist to show to you. “don’t you have a party to attend to?”

“lee taeyong’s?” you stood up to leave the café. “i feel like skipping it for tonight. i’m not in the mood for parties somehow.”

“because i’m a better company for you?” jaehyun teased and boy was he proud with his remark, you didn’t even deny it. “you don’t have to go if you really don’t want to. it’s better to have time for yourself sometimes.”

“you’re saying from experience?” you asked, putting pressure on your words about his claim of being alone.

“it’s more of an advice for you.” he winked.

you thought he was quite observant even though he barely socialised with others. he noticed the light in your eyes sparkling, in which he felt his chest squeeze. you twirled in your toes as you hugged your laptop. “say.. are you up for a movie marathon?”

—

including now, it’d be the fourth time you both have rewind the specific scene just for that certain song jaehyun kept singing nonstop. and although you loved his voice, having the song on replay would be a little too much and the purpose of the marathon might go in vain. it seemed jaehyun was way into it, so interrupting him would be mean of you so you sang along.

“the nostalgia still hits me ‘til this day.” jaehyun tossed a bag of chips from your kitchen island to you.

jaehyun kept saying it may sound stupid and corny coming from him, but as a child he liked the whole high school musical series; and he pretty much became one when breaking free started to play.

because you both couldn’t decide where to watch the beloved movies by everyone, the marathon ended up being at your apartment. it was subtle, yet quite obvious to you he didn’t want it to be held in his place. you thanked your psychology course for giving lessons to notice even the little things in behaviour.

“how many times do i have to keep telling you it’s okay to like it? not like anyone would tease you for it.” you giggled as you opened the bag and popped a couple of chips into your mouth.

“yeah sure, but i know you would.” he squinted his eyes for you to admit that that was your plan eventually.

“have i?” you singsonged, sipping on the large cola cup.

he pointed at the hairbrush you held and suddenly you bursted out in laughter since jaehyun was obviously— maybe a little— offended with how you mimicked him singing earlier. “okay you caught me.”

jaehyun felt his entire body heating up. still in denial about actually being into you, he took a challenge upon himself and scooted next to you. his arms slightly brushed and touched against yours. “you in for hsm 2?”

“well we are having a marathon, might as well go for camp rock later.” you shrugged and eyed him with a confirming gaze.

“uh-huh.. but i’m still a fan of the trilogy.” jaehyun stole the chips in your hands.

“now aren’t you cheeky.” you gasped at his playful behaviour, and you didn’t dislike it. perhaps you prefer this naught over yuta’s as it didn’t get into your nerves or have the urge to hit him because of the hyperness.

he sat deeper into the beanbag. “i’m comfortable in here. your house feels too homey.”

“so is it my fault that you’re in your comfort zone?” you stated, taking the bag of chips back into your arms.

“yes.” he protested with frequent waves of his palms. “you’re too kind and i might come here to visit often.”

“suit yourself.”

since he arrived here it had him wondering, why did he decide to show up today at campus when there was actually a pure human being like you? he just needed a person— just one— to knock onto his heart. yet with many people in his life trying to do the same thing, none held the correct key. and somehow,

it had to be you.

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you’ve lost count of the number of times jaehyun has been hanging at your crib since then. it became a normal routine but never have you been to his place. it was always yours and you didn’t mind that. though he did promise, you respected his decision.

you found out he could be little dorky and corny but that was the unique trait about him. like friends at kindergarten, you both were still at a get-to-know-each-other stage. so that day, he created a schedule where he would hang out with you on wednesdays and fridays, claiming that he didn’t want to be seen by others, e.g. mr. nobody with ms. golden girl.

however, since then, people close to you have been looking at you rather differently. it wasn’t because they sometimes see jaehyun following you around, they sensed a different aura from you. you could feel their piercing stares from all directions, as if you were the centerpiece of a watch. there was something a little different than usual.

and you tried to ignore this ominous feeling for now.

yuta shook his legs vigorously, in which was an unsightly act to see for someone on the soccer team. you could see him from afar with his hands by his lips, biting it as he waited for your arrival at the university’s sports ground. jaehyun jogged towards you with his bag slung diagonally across his torso. he poked your neck and as a person with severe tickle spots, that caught you off guard into a fight-me position to the doer.

“chill, it’s just me.” jaehyun had both of his hands up, whiskers appearing just by the sides of his nose.

“jaehyun!” you relaxed your limbs. “got a better way of greeting? i don’t like being surprised.” you pulled the hem of his sleeve, missing how he pursed his lips in glee when you both instantly became close, like it was overnight.

he let you grab him as you both walked towards where yuta was standing by the bleachers. “i’m sorry?” he giggled loud enough only for you to hear. “i thought i’d get a priceless reaction from you.”

you rolled your eyes that it almost hurt doing so. “be glad i have enough patience for you.”

“and i didn’t have enough patience last night!” yuta joined the conversation seeing you and jaehyun before him. “where have you been? you said you were coming to my place yesterda- why is he here?” he looked at him then at you. “with you? again?”

“ever thought that i want to have my own ‘me’ time for once?” you took off your cardigan and placed it on the bleachers. you could feel jaehyun chuckling softly when you made reference to his remark.

and boy was he proud. “you’re emphasising on that quite often nowadays.” he helped you carry your bag as you to settled down.

“that’s because i never realised how true it actually is until i say it out loud, since being in everyone’s eyes does pressure me.” you balled your fists to nudge him lightly on the arm, and for him to dramatically receive the attack did put yuta in an awkward position.

“uh hello? i’m still here!” in front of you and jaehyun, yuta snapped his fingers several times to divert attention. “what’s going on with you two? how are you both suddenly so close when you’ve just met for the first time two weeks ago?”

jaehyun swifted his head towards you, and the telepathic exchange of words between you and him had yuta clicking his tongue in disbelief. “you were right, he will react.” jaehyun’s voice prolonged while munching on a corn dog.

“told you so.” you flicked your hair and turned to yuta as you continued talking. “bestie, we’ve been seeing each other since then.”

what the hell? the way yuta’s face turn sour at your smile towards jaehyun, he could almost faint right then and there since he swore he saw mr. dimples smile subtly at you too. “and with just that i’ve been replaced-”

“no i would never replace my best friend.” you held his palms hoping he would calm down from his high emotions, but he immediately pulled his hand away from you, much to your dismay. “hey, i’m here to make amends-”

“yeah?” he clicked on a pen and wrote something on a tissue, soon grabbing your bag from the seat and fished out your wallet. “then you’re treating me my meals for a month. i have another order right now.”

now it was your turn whose face became sour. “a month?! i can’t do that- hey!”

yuta tossed your credit card up in the air and upon seeing his eyes darken— though that was all in your head—you gave in and sighed heavily. you stomped your way to the caféteria while yuta comfortably put one leg on the benches with a satisfied grin. “man she’s easy to tease.”

“is that so? then i know now who she gets it from.” jaehyun said through his chews on his food, making yuta’s ears perk up at the response.

the atmosphere lingering between the two of them invited dark clouds. both could sense the change in their moods, and they both weren’t liking it.

yuta spun and played the ball on his hands then forearms, later let out a scoff when jaehyun raised his brows. he didn’t like the vibe jaehyun was giving and so did the latter. “i do it for fun. it’s natural between us.” yuta said.

“hm? she told me she doesn’t like it when you do.” he saw you on your tiptoes as you struggled to tell the order to the person at the high-levelled counter. but another scoff came out from yuta. “you got a proble-?”

“yeah kinda.”

“i don’t think so. i can tell it really bothers you when y/n hangs out with me.” jaehyun sat up straight at yuta’s comment about him.

“i should be. because i’m her best friend and who knows what type of person you are.” he did a few tricks with his legs. “but if you really want to know then your attitude is what i have problems with.”

“i remember telling you it wouldn’t be good for you when accuse me wrongly.”

he let out a monotonous and rather mocking laugh, taking jaehyun aback but he anticipated this kind of response from him. “and what? you’ll go berserk like you did years ago? as a high school freshman? beating the innocent up or whoever comes your way?”

“look i don’t know where the hell that came from but it’s not what you or everyone else thinks.” jaehyun aggressively crumpled the hotdog wrapper in his palms.

“c’mon you don’t have to hold it all in,” yuta set his ball aside and rested his hands on his waist. jaehyun was getting uncomfortable the more he listened to him. “unleash that side-”

jaehyun rolled his tongue, nodding his head to test him. “alright, i guess i don’t have to when i have feelings for y/n. thanks for the advice.”

what the..? yuta stared at him when there wasn’t a change in his expression. jerk- “now you’re talking. you wanna fight? let’s do that-”

“tsk yuta! the bill’s too expensive!” you whined and gently put down the tray.

while yuta clicked his tongue at your sudden entry and with how quickly you came back, for a moment jaehyun wanted to hug you for being his saviour. he was so close to lose his temper towards your best friend. the relief seen in his tensed shoulders, but you interpreted it otherwise. “are you okay?” you asked while you sat down beside him.

he hummed, folding his arms and looking at the distance, clearly avoiding eye contact with yuta. “mhm, i just realised the deadline is coming up in three days.” he excused.

you managed to utter out a giggle as you finally ate, finding out how jaehyun’s ears always turned red when given attention to. “you’re stressed about it?”

“aren’t you?” jaehyun drank the remains of his soda.

“not really since i finished mine. but, if you’re worried about your progress, i can help you.” you swirled the fork in the air like a wand. jaehyun smiled to himself when yuta took his ball to throw a fit.

“i’m not worried about the project. but there’s an annoying bug i’m trying to hit so help me.” jaehyun’s dimples appeared deeply again and as the darkening ombré sunset shoned his side profile, there you witnessed how pure he actually was— and you missed out on yuta’s frown towards jaehyun.

you gulped and almost choked on your own saliva, eyes still locked in jaehyun’s. his hair caught in the wind, making it look fluffy and his entire demeanour softer than you usually see him. you hitched a breath since jaehyun seemed like he had no plans to avert his gaze too. both of you were definely mesmerised and hypnotised, and for jaehyun it was just like that time. he remembered the colour palette of your makeup while you recalled the perfume he wore.

in the recent marathons with him you’ve never been this close, physically speaking. so this close-up really debunked the impression you heard from people, especially from yuta.

however, as you were oblivious with the pressure behind jaehyun’s words and even smiled back at him, yuta flicked your temple. he was indeed a worry wart and sometimes he would like to flick you just this once for being too much of a social butterfly. he knew it was in your nature to be kind and always on the look out for others. he’s fine when you were with anyone except with this guy you befriended. not him.

he dodged your flying limbs in attempts to hit him. “oi, you’re not going to ask how i am? if i’m worried?”

the pain from the flick remained on your temple. “no? you look fine to me-” you stared at your phone. the message reminding you of the singles elite party a month from today at 8pm. “a party?”

“yeah if you attended the previous party you’d know that there’ll be another one after taeyong’s.” yuta took off his shoes in change for his casual.

“hm. i’m don’t feel like going.” you jumped off the bleachers to dust off your pants. “probably gonna be boring.”

“i’m the one who’s holding it this time!” yuta put you under a headlock in his arms. “you’re ditching your best friend?!”

you giggled and ticked his sides and followed it with a playful hug. “just kidding. i heard from momo! i’ll be there.” you brushed your hair up into a messy bun while spotting jaehyun starting to feel out of place. “oh! do you wanna come to the party, jae?”

yuta mentally facepalmed and it was given he didn’t like what you did. but your eyes were quick to see his reaction and you slapped his chest. he glared at you while his hands caressed it. why did you have to invite him? it was the whole purpose why he decided to hold a party; maybe you’d finally appreciate his hardwork, or perhaps, notice him as someone more and as not a best friend who only worries and teases you.

jaehyun nodded in response, no words needed. a smile crept your lips as if you were given chocolates on valentine’s. “cool.” you pulled him on the wrist after hearing the coach calling yuta, followed with a loud whistle. “ah yuta, we‘ll get going! see you.”

“mm yeah..” yuta hummed, seeing you both vanish in the distance. “see you..”

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your sulking self laid sideways by jaehyun’s lap, head rested on a pillow. it’s been too long since yuta avoided you, purposely ditched your hangouts, seenzoned your messages and ignored your calls. as if these weren’t obvious enough for you to know something was up. there definitely was but you couldn’t put a finger to it. so you forced jaehyun to let you stay at his place, being it your apartment was currently invaded by your brother’s friends from abroad.

but honestly it was also because you discovered jaehyun’s unit was blocks away from yours. fate was gladly on your side.

“y/n, you know i can’t work properly when you’re like this.” jaehyun sighed while he adjusted his sitting posture and lifting his laptop.

you slightly and lazily your body turned upright, seeing his dimples beginning to show themselves. “let me be.” you complained.

jaehyun put down his laptop. “i can’t. you’re in my way of cramming hours. plus, how long have you been coming here? it’s getting too frequent..” he paused when your eyes were no longer on him— rather they were on your phone, staring at the last conversation from yuta.

he couldn’t bring himself to say that he was reason why yuta acting the way he was to you. and for all honesty he would keep this matter to himself. “did i do something wrong?” you asked.

“of course not. he’s probably in his emo phase. guys have them a lot more than you think.” jaehyun typed on the keyboard for the remaining parts of the essay. “but he’ll get out of it eventually.”

“fine i’ll trust on that.” you sat up and scooted over to see his progress. you submitted your assignment hours ago. looking at jaehyun, it seemed he was struggling at some parts. were you unconsciously pressuring him? the beads of sweat began to roll down his temples and that made you giggle if it was the case. uh-huh. he was really feeling that way.

he gulped so loudly that it came out as a weird noise. he hoped you didn’t hear that. but the way you pursed your lips to hold the laughter in only had him discontinuing his report. “d-don’t do that.”

“do what?” you snicker.

jaehyun rolled his eyes and poked your forehead. “you’re too distracting.”

oh how the tables have turned. that comment flipped your head upside down, your heart in a frenzy and stomach churning. it wasn’t “so”, but “too”— that only meant he wasn’t concentrating on his work for a while.

even so, you waited for him to finish despite questionable feelings you’ve been feeling. his coffee cup already did seconds and thirds. and suddenly you remembered the happy hour the local café was promoting and there was a few minutes left until it ends for the day. you had to bring him there.

but you decided that because you wanted to be out of that suffocating air jaehyun caused.

—

the more you walked faster, the more jaehyun’s wrist reddened and hurt. but he let you be as he liked how you were comfortable with someone like him. your hair flowed with the wind, the remains of your shampoo left a sweet scent. was it lavender? and the wind blew stronger, making the scent clearer to the nose. his heart skipped beats, because it was indeed lavender. he swore in his head. scrap aside the frequent marathons and meet-ups. lavender’s all the more reason why fell for you quickly than ever.

and when the local café closed early for the day, you almost lost sight of the pedestrian signs. jaehyun pulled you in as the light emitted red. though you had your emotions get the best of you, you realised how childish you were for something so minor. you laughed in awkwardness, he did too. “i didn’t want anyone to see this side-”

warmth. that was all you thought of right there. you were in his embrace.

“..of me.” you soon mumbled in his chest, realising later of the action he just did. “jaehyun-”

“it’s okay. i don’t too.” his hand gently caressed the back of your head, treating it with care as if he held a newborn baby. “so can i keep you?”

that warmth became hotter, almost boiling that you weren’t able to breathe properly. “i’m sorry.” he said, that must’ve surprised you.” jaehyun chuckled.

surprised? of course you were. how was it natural for him to do skinship? and that smoothly? you both weren’t at that stage yet, let alone have a relationship with mutual feelings. even yuta couldn’t hug you because of how conscious you felt.

but then again, you looked up. you saw his ears. it was red, the usual reaction whenever you were with him. was it normal though? you were never aware of it up until now.

because it was so clear now.

“i’ll see you tomorrow? i have to help my mom with some things.” you lied as you scratched your neck.

jaehyun nodded and pulled away. “alright, go on ahead.”

you poked his dimples because he has been staring at you like he had questions to ask. “what is it?”

maybe he didn’t notice or maybe he did, but he was leaning closer, his head tilting to the side and eyes staring into your soul. you knew what he was about to do, you feel like letting him do so but at the same time you weren’t sure of your feelings.  

just a little more and you could’ve locked lips but..

your phone vibrated.

in panic you looked at your device and eyes widened that brought jaehyun aback.

“ah yuta!” you brought your phone so close to your face, not believing your best friend’s announcement on social media, in which he then followed up with a text message.

the light in your eyes was something jaehyun liked seeing, but didn’t so as well.

“oh! he said the concept for the elites’ party is live wardrobe. all singles will go through a ballot draw. it’s for the clothes to wear for the night..” you locked your phone. “tsk i wanted to wear my favourite dress.”

“i think you’ll look great in whatever gown is chosen for you.” jaehyun pat your head while you were immersed in your phone. “now go. it’s getting late.”

“i’ll expect the same for you.” you replied.

he laughed and that didn’t want to make you leave just yet. “nah don’t. i’m just ordinary in a suit.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

funny how he was so damn wrong.

fate let him draw red, and confidently chose a suit once it was his turn to change. it was as if he knew this attire would go well with him. a suede texture with a black outline on its collar accentuated his brushed up light brown hair, while his black under-shirt contrasted with his porcelain skin. gladly it wasn’t halloween, or else you would’ve mistaken him for a vampire.

he had you feeling all sorts of things, and you didn’t know why when you were nothing more than friends.

an hour ago he was in his usual casual wear. now he was surrounded with ladies who already seemed like they were friends with him for decades. you could see jaehyun was uncomfortable but he kept his cool with folded arms as he leaned against a column. the comments from them irritated you, because at one point they were badmouthing him— and the second he showed up they flooded him with compliments of his good looks and how they named him the “model elite”.

you swirled the wine glass in your hand, the other arm hugged your waist. you rolled your eyes at the falseness these people have towards him. “can’t believe it.” your fingers curled as irritation began to cover your sight. “look at them trying to make a move on him. erlgh too close. they weren’t like that before.”

sicheng rolled his tongue, hands in pockets and walked to be in front of you. “really? you weren’t like that before too.” he pointed out.

“i agree. recently you’re stuck like glue whenever you’re with him.” yuta gestured.

“am so not?” you gasped while your eyes trailed to jaehyun, who was still had patience for the ladies surrounding him. “i just like how he’s a good friend.”

“doubt it.” sicheng poked your cheek. “you wouldn’t feel like this when you have feeli-”

not this again. “i’m grabbing a drink.” yuta suddenly cut the conversation.

“get me one too!” the younger one yelled and after he was satisfied with the gesture, he winced as you pinched his sides from the remark he said earlier. “ow! y/n! it’s true though! i know what i’m seeing!”

truthfully, nothing about sicheng’s words or actions bothered you. but if there was anything that did, it was your own heart. as of tonight, you began to question your feelings towards jaehyun. when did it start? how was it possible to like someone so quickly? “i’m telling you i don’t.” your eyes trailed to him, not realising the rush of heat creeping your cheeks.

jaehyun was approached by yuta, who was giving him a glass of beer. the ladies fled after stealing pictures of the guy and he took the drink in his hands. then they headed towards the garden of the mansion. wonder what he’s here for?

“nice party you have here. concept’s cool.” jaehyun started to break the lingering silence because he knew how awkward this was going to be with your best friend.

“yeah, never knew you’d end up in red. it’s y/n’s favourite colour.” yuta’s voice lowered. there was an impact jaehyun could describe but assuming that would be too rude of him.

“really? i didn’t know.” he hummed. aren’t you a little too happy, jaehyun told himself. he shook it off, for he doesn’t expect him and you to go any further than this.

“now you do. so can you back up for a while? take a week off or something from y/n.” yuta raised his brows.

this was the same feeling from before. he knew this feeling because he felt the exact same way. he wanted to be selfish for once. not like he hated yuta, it was just.. he always had to appear whenever he didn’t want him to. then he would mess his mood. he interrupted his joy of admiring you. jaehyun licked his lips to dampen them. “i’m sorry, who are you to tell me what to do?”

yuta grinned and leaned against the column as he mirrored jaehyun. “don’t you get it?” he asked, his tone rising. “i love y/n. you entering the picture just ruins everything.”

my hunch’s correct. he does love y/n. “if you love her you wouldn’t ignore her.”

“it’s because you’re with her! and she does the same to me! it’s like she’s found someone else-”

“you’re being dramatic.” jaehyun pushed himself off the column and turned to him. “y/n’s sad and moping around because you treated her like she’s all alone. you have no idea how much she waited for you to contact her.”

“what do you know, smartass? you’re just another guy trying to fit in when you know you couldn’t. no matter how much you tried, everyone’s afraid of you. and now you’re telling me you have feelings for y/n? please.” his lips jutted with sounds of disbelief while his body posture challenged jaehyun. “y/n’s kind to everyone she meets. it’s who she is. but to think you have hope to be with someone like her? if you ask me, all i see is a greatest mismatch.”

jaehyun usually didn’t give a damn of the comments about him. he couldn’t care less of any of those. in fact he’d hear them through one ear and out they went. but when he said anything, it irked him.

you see, that was the thing— right now, he actually listened.

he turned a blind eye on yuta’s words and let it off for the night. he was given a drink and maybe the alcohol didn’t work its way on him than it did to guy. in the end, yuta was probably spilling tea even if he didn’t intend to.

“what i feel for y/n has nothing to do with you. just like people can’t control the tides,” jaehyun lightly knocked onto yuta’s chest. “i can’t control mine.”

the footsteps echoed in yuta’s ears, he could hear them despite the noisy hall. “rghhh!” he grabbed hold of his glass and threw it towards jaehyun.

sounds of shattering glass met the ground, as well as catching everyone’s attention. then there was silence. jaehyun began to lose his patience as he turned around. his smirk challenged him. ouch. this was the fight yuta was looking for, seeing jaehyun’s heavy breaths only made him stand on his toes.

jaehyun punched him in the jaw though he knew it wasn’t worth his time. but he wanted to give him a taste of stepping beyond boundaries. yuta punched him back too. he made sure the star of the night was the other— shone the brightest and reveal his true nature. he didn’t count the number of hits he received, as long as jaehyun stayed that way.

“i told you it wouldn’t be good if you provoked me!” jaehyun growled. “you’re asking for show? i’ll give you one!”

“huh..” yuta wiped his bleeding lip. “you sure about that, beast?”

jaehyun held himself for the next punch, feeling all of the pairs of eyes on him. yours included. that was what he feared. “aw. what impression does she have on you now?” yuta’s cooing words caused jaehyun’s eyes to soften.

all bleeding and bruised, jaehyun’s injuries have matched with his suit. he clenched his fists as he frustratingly left the hall.

in your peripheral, your eyes trailed his direction and your legs followed him by heart, without realising yuta calling out your name several times. everything went blank, not thinking things straight because while everyone watched, no one understood. you glared at yuta before heading outside, a more disappointed sigh was the only response he got from you.

yuta was then nudged by sicheng. the latter could see the change in his expression. “what did i tell you?”

“you don’t have to tell me.” yuta dusted his pants.

“i’m still gonna.” sicheng rolled his eyes and poked the lad’s temple. “that’s what you call ‘stupidity’. if only you confessed to her before maybe things would be different between you guys.”

“i don’t want things to be different dude.”

“i’m gonna state the obvious, you probably already know this but.. you lost this battle.”

“crap..” yuta’s voice changed from a nervous chuckle to a soft sob. “i liked her first.”

you spotted jaehyun sitting atop a metal barrier just in front of the carpark— head down to mend his injuries and scratches. he sniffed from the cool night breeze before hopping off. “you’ll hurt your feet.” he pointed at the heels you had dangling in your hands.

his gaze softened when you pointed at his face, especially the black eye. “touché.” he chuckled, later feeling your cold hands against his throbbing flesh. “it’s no big deal-”

“i’m sorry about yuta’s behaviour.” you sighed. “don’t let it get into you. he’s an airhead when he’s drunk-”

“you sure? he seemed pretty sober when he said- ah.” he pursed his lips to speak any further. “nevermind.”

now that gotten you curious. “what did he say? spill it!” you whined, causing jaehyun mouth to curve a little in amusement.

jaehyun prolonged the silence and grabbed your shoes, leading you towards his car. once he unlocked it and opened the door, he bursted out in a loud, healthy laugh. “he said he was head over heels for you.”

you pushed him to the driver’s seat and slammed the door, rolling your eyes at the pun. “that was so lame!” you sat on the other side. “but i know that already if you thought i didn’t. i subtly turned him down ages ago. guess he didn’t take the message.”

“clearly.”

as you tended to his wounds, one question still had your curiosity at its peak. jaehyun was quiet through-out, so it was hard to bring the topic up for a while. until your eyes and his met.

“what did you tell him before he threw the glass at you?” you dabbed the cotton onto the beaten area. “it must’ve pissed him.”

he dropped his car keys and let out a nervous hum. “uh..” he didn’t know what else to say. right when he was finally about to tell you, you suddenly giggled.

“unless you told him you like me and that made him angry, but i doubt that happened.” your lips shrank to a circle, cursing at yourself for assuming too much. girl the guts you have was incomparable—

jaehyun’s large hand held yours while you continued to apply medication. the warmth, the heat and the building tension of skinship made you weak. “you’re right.”

your smile and breaths changed in an instant when he fixed himself on the seat. he smirked a little, finding how cute you were. it drove him crazy.

“i like you, for the longest time, since the orientation. i’m so into you that i couldn’t help myself be selfish and have you to myself— i- i don’t know what i’m saying.” he sighed, pushing himself away in embarrassment with arms above his face.

“t-thanks.” you fiddled with your fingers.

“i’m not asking for an answer. i just wanted to let you know.” he said. “gosh this is a bad timing for confession.”

“then is it a bad timing if i said i’m into you too?” you looked away and out in the distance. you could see his reaction on the window’s reflection. he was shocked, but an uncontrollable smile was forcing itself on the surface. it was written in the dimples.

“no,” his husky voice called you to look back. “you’re just about right.”

[bibliosophist]

Asmodeus with a mc who is insecure. They thinks they are not good enough for him and think he'd rather be with someone prettier. He find out and go's to comfort mc.

Tonight is the night. Panacea Skincare is having a launch party to celebrate their new line of products, and Asmodeus is the face of the campaign. He’s talked about nothing else but this party for a fortnight, and now it’s here.

The first thing you see when you enter the hall is a screen displaying a thirty foot tall photo of your boyfriend. In it Asmo is sprawled across a white marble bench set amid a lush, verdant garden. One of his milky white arms rests above his head, the other lays across his bare stomach. Only a swath of silky white fabric covers his hips. He’s lithe and lean, with both the indentations of his ribs and the toned planes of his stomach on display. Letters forming the words Panacea Skincare scrawl themselves across the bottom of the screen.

He squeals as he runs across the room towards his own likeness, pulling you along behind him.

“I can’t believe it! (Y/N), look, it’s me!”

“It’s you. You look incredible. I mean, you always look incredible, but you’re practically glowing.”

He giggles. “I know, right? They didn’t even alter the photograph at all. That’s one of their principles- no retouching. Panacea wants everyone to know that they’re honest and authentic. But,” he grins, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “why not stack the deck in your favour, right? That’s why they came to me. Who else has skin this close to flawless?”

You smile and squeeze his hand. “Nobody.”

“Exactly! Darling, would you mind taking a picture of me with me?” he asks, striking a pose next to the photo. He leans forward slightly, one hand braced on his thigh while the other throws a peace sign. He winks at the camera.

You snap a half dozen photos of him from different angles. You know what Asmo means when he says “take a picture.”

A high pitched squeal breaks your impromptu photoshoot. When you whip your head around to the source of the noise, you find a beautiful young demon standing stock still, pointing at Asmo. “It’s him! It’s Asmodeus!”

In a matter of seconds, Asmo is engulfed in a swarm of admirers. Some hang off his arms, others clutch at his hands. One particularly enamored demon drapes themself over Asmo’s shoulders. Camera flashes sting your eyes- it seems that the entire room is desperate for a selfie with your boyfriend. You can just barely see Asmo’s amid the crowd. A perfect smile lights up his face- he’s absolutely in his element.

As the mass of demons around him continues to grow, you’re shunted to the edge of the room. You don’t really mind; it’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Being with Asmo means having to be okay with sharing his attention, and you've accepted that. Still, you can’t say that it doesn’t make your stomach twist when you see the gorgeous demon with their head on Asmo’s shoulder whisper something in his ear that makes the Avatar of Lust giggle.

You’re so preoccupied with watching the encounter that it takes you a moment to notice the two demons standing a few feet away from you, heads bent together over their drinks. It isn’t until you hear your name that your ears perk up.

“(Y/N)... Yes, that sounds right. (Y/N).” says one of the demons. They both have sleek, bottle glass green hair down to their waists and skin the colour of sun bleached canvas. Sirens, you think.

Beside them, their similarly striking friend snorts. “Even their name is common. I can’t believe Asmodeus, of all demons, has settled for that.”

“Maybe they’re more than meets the eye. You’ve met the other human, Solomon, right? They say he’s the most powerful sorcerer to have ever lived.”

“Unlikely,” says the other one. They make no attempt to hide the way their eyes rove over you, or the way their lip curls before they continue. “If they had any kind of magical power, they’d spruce themselves up a bit. Would you be caught dead looking like that if you could help it?”

“No, I suppose not,” says the first, sipping at their drink.

You feel the blood rise to your face. It’s not like you haven’t thought the same thing yourself a thousand times since you started dating Asmo, but to hear it said out loud...

Ducking your head to hide the tears pricking your eyes, you make your way across the hall to the washrooms. Thank whoever designed this building, they’re single occupant. You lock the door behind you and, closing the lid of the toilet, sink down onto it.

They’re right. You know they’re right. You see the way eyes linger on you when you’re together. You went to high school, you know that look. The “what’s he doing with them” look. What did Asmo see in you? He could have his choice of lovers from any of the three realms. Even among humans, you’re... average. What does the most beautiful creature in existence want with average?

You feel the telltale sting of tears rising to your eyes just as a knock echoes through the small room. “There’s someone in here,” you say, trying your best to keep your voice steady.

“(Y/N), it’s me.” Asmodeus.

“I- I’m in here.”

“Hon, open the door. Please.”

With a monumental effort, you push back the tears. Smoothing down the outfit you’d so carefully chosen for his big event, you cross the room and unlatch the door. As soon as the lock clicks open, he’s pushing his way into the bathroom and relocking the door behind him.

“What’s the matter?” he asks, reaching for your hand. Instinctually you pull back. If he touches you now, you know you won’t be able to hold the tears in. He looks crushed. “(Y/N)? Did I do something?”

Well, crap. The very last thing you wanted to do was ruin this night for him. He’d been so excited. You couldn’t have him thinking that this was in any way his fault.

“No, no, of course not. I just- just have a headache, that’s all.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Really,” you say, turning away from him as the tears threaten to reappear. “Just go back out there, I’ll be fine in a few min-”

A warm hand on your waist spins you around. “I thought we promised never to lie to each other. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

The look in his eyes as they try to catch yours pushes you over the edge, and before you know it you’re sobbing. He pulls you to him, rubbing his hand over your back in slow circles. You pull away, knowing that your tears will leave ugly marks on his beautiful shirt. When you try to say as much he shushes you, pulling you against him even tighter. “To hell with the shirt. What happened?”

Knowing there’s no way you’ll be able to brush this off now you relay what you overheard the Sirens saying. “And the worst thing Asmo, the very worst thing is that I know they’re right. I know it. And I know that someday you’ll leave me, and-”

“Is that really what you think of me?”

“W-what?”

“Do you really think I’m so shallow?”

“No, I didn’t mean- it’s just that you’re so beautiful. You could have anyone- absolutely anyone. Why would you settle for someone that isn’t your equal? Or as close to your equal as anyone could get, because I mean-”

“Stop,” Asmo says, cutting you off. “Listen to me. Normally I’d love nothing more than to listen to you babble about how beautiful I am, but not while you’re being so ridiculous.” He sighs. “I’ve had a lot of lovers, (Y/N). I’ve been with beautiful creatures- Demons, humans, even angels. But,” he runs his hands down your arms, slipping his hands into yours, “None of them were you.”

“So what, you’ve had your fill and now you’re ready to slum it?” You know you’re being belligerent, but you can’t help it.

“I absolutely did not say that, and you know it. I do think you’re beautiful, (Y/N). Of course I do. But that’s not why I love you. I love you for you. Do you only love me because I’m beautiful?”

“No,” you mumble, “but it’s a nice perk.”

The vibrations of his chuckle tickle your cheek. “Darling, in my long, long life I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. Helen of Troy didn’t make my heart stutter like you do.”

“You dated Helen of Troy?”

“‘Dated’ Is a strong word, and that’s a story for another time. Please believe me when I say you’re the one I want to be with.”

You sniffle one final time, squeezing his fingers in yours. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. And, once I’ve taught those Sirens how to accessorize with their own intestines, I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of the night with you on my arm. What do you say?”

[theramseyloft]

Let’s take a moment to talk Shit.

You can tell a lot about the health of a pet by its poop.

Changes in its color or consistency are among the first warning signs that a pet may not be feeling well.

In birds, you will usually see changes in poop long before the changes in behavior that indicate illness, like irritability or lethargy.

When most people think of pigeon poop, This is what usually comes to mind:

Nasty white streaks

Or splatters

Or gross colored splats

Any place feral pigeons frequent.

But this is what poop from a healthy, well fed pigeon looks like:

A small, compact ball of the indigestible fiber left over from the hulls of the seeds they eat whole, with a tiny white cap of urate.

You can see the consistency from the others underneath it, where nesting straw has been mashed into them as Pippin has come and gone and arranged, and rearranged individual blades.

A reliably well fed and hydrated pigeon will usually leave stools that keep their round shape on impact with a texture slightly softer than well worked playdoh.

Pigeon poop can be sloppy after a big drink of water following a 6-12 hour period of having gone with out. 

The bowel movement after their first drink of water in the morning, for example, may make a sloppy mess, but in a healthy, well fed pigeon, the solid part will still be brown, and there will be more water than the white urate.

Look at this third picture again:

That wet mess of solids on mostly urate, with a mucus-y shine and slimy texture, is indicative of a heavy gut load of intestinal parasites. 

Not just most ferals, but most racing, performing, and exhibition pigeons (since there are often housed out doors) are infested with the nematode Capillaria, the round worm Strongyloides, or the protozoan Coccidia.

While usually sub-clinical, an active infection of Salmonella will turn the poop a distinctive sulfur yellow to lime green.

But poop is only pure white, 

Like those streaks and splatters most people associate with feral pigeons, when the birds have not had access to solid food in 12 hours or more.

Nearly all feral pigeons perpetually teeter on the brink of starvation, and it shows in their poop.

They are strict granivores, meaning that they can only digest seeds: the embryonic tissue of plants.

With cities being so carefully landscaped, often with the only plant life available being in the form of flower beds and trees, with grasses only in public parks and mowed too short to bloom and seed, the food they can actually digest is mighty hard for the average feral pigeon to find.

Barn ferals tend to be much more healthy for access to seed and animal feed.

But spilled garbage and the hand outs of the people that like them enough to feed them are literally all the food city ferals have access to.

Most of that is bread.

And while bread is made from grain, milling that grain and baking it into bread breaks it down, making it easier for a HUMAN to digest, but HARDER for a pigeon.

They like the taste of it, and eating some as an occasional treat won’t do a pet bird any harm, but that’s the VAST bulk of the food feral pigeons have access to.

It would be like a humans having to wander for miles every day to find food, but only being able to find potato chips, snack cakes, and the occasional slim jim.

That human would not have a long, or healthy life.

Now imagine that person ALSO had two different kinds of lice, mosquitos, and a parasitic fly sucking their blood from the outside, a painful cheesy growth in their throat that could block off their trachea or esophagus if it goes untreated long enough, two species of worms eating the nutrients they manage to find before their intestinal lining gets the chance to absorb it, and a protozoan eating their intestinal lining, with no hope of getting any of those things treated.

And you have a pretty accurate representation of what it’s like to be a feral pigeon living “free”.

I am all for wild animals living free in the environment for which they were adapted.

But pigeons are not wild life, and they were not adapted to cities.

ESPECIALLY not on the continent of North America.

The pigeons that were brought here as military messengers, meat, and entertainment had been domesticated for thousands of years already.

When homers were no longer faster and more reliable messengers than phone lines or radio waves, they were no longer profitable to keep, pigeons were released. This was common practice in the places they came from.

But in Europe, Africa, Turkey, and Saudi Arabia, where Rock Doves are native, there WAS natural habitat for the exclusively cliff nesting birds to relocate to, as well as open lofts that would welcome the boon of free livestock. 

But there is nothing like their actual habitat: A high cliff near the sea, between desert and grass land, in north America. 

So, as lofts shut down and were (as they still are to this day by racers) habitually destroyed to discourage the birds no one would buy from returning, there was nowhere for the unwanted birds to go EXCEPT the tall, concrete buildings, and the metal structure under bridges and billboards.

The problem of feral pigeon mess, from the structural damage caused by the pure uric acid they excrete on an empty stomach to their potential as vectors for zoonotic disease is one of our own making.

That’s why I don’t re-abandon feral pigeons that come into rehab by releasing them.

I get them medical care. Heal their wounds, treat their infections, clean out their parasites...

And then I treat them like any good shelter would treat a stray dog:

I evaluate their temperament, and find them a permanent home where they can be well cared for and as happy as possible.

I fiercely love pigeons. 

And for the same reason that seeing mangy, thin stray dogs roam the street treated an invasive pest species; ignored at best and chased off or exterminated at worst, would horrify and haunt the average american...

My goals are to make hoards of feral pigeons a thing of the ignorant past by encouraging the development of shelters for them like we have for dogs, cats, parrots, and other exotic pets.

Wildlife, like Mourning Doves, should absolutely be returned to the wild if at all possible.

Urban wildlife, like raccoons, are natives that have willingly ventured into cities and found them a welcoming, supportive environment, for which that animal happened to be naturally well suited.

Invasive wildlife, like Collared Doves, happen to be well adapted to the new environment into which they were released. T hey can be a danger to natives, so culling is preferred over release in the event that they can’t be penned. But still being wild animals, being caged stresses them severely.

Pigeons fit NONE of these categories.

They are not wildlife.

They did not “invade” cities.

They were abandoned there the minute they ceased to be profitable, they had no where else to go, and we treat the mess like it’s their fault.

We have done pigeons a terrible disservice by having entirely forgotten that they are domestic livestock.

And any one that calls a pigeon in north America a “wind animal that should be free” perpetuates and encourages that abandonment of responsibility.

[reinedeslys-central]

more for this prompt:

it's just like his brain is somehow - offline. Not willing to help him string up the words to this sentence that's sitting on his tongue. The disrespect.

He's still got to power through, though, and now he's just been standing here at the table for a good ten seconds without saying anything, gods, Will must feel so awkward trying to politely ignore Nico standing behind him. What to say, what to say, need to provide a functional human first(-ish) impression on the conversation -

Will bends his head further over the book he's reading, which seems to have a diagram on it. He shifts his neck to look at it from another angle, just enough for Nico to see the page's title: "Cross-sections of the Circulatory System".

Oh, so - a biology textbook. Cool, cool, that makes sense, since Will's the head camp medic, so maybe -

Before he can stop himself, he blurts out - "The, uh, the medulla oblongata controls parasympathetic ventilation, like, coughing and sneezing and stuff." Or - is that even correct? Damn, what if Will's going to make fun of him for getting it wrong, maybe he should try another one -

"..The pancreas secretes sodium bicarbonate, lipase, protease, and amylase into the small intestine to help with digestion." There, that works for a conversation starter. Will should definitely know about that since he lectured Nico about his starch intake last week in the infirmary.

("I don't care if they're all carbs, di Angelo, at this point you just need to eat, I don't give a pegasus' ass whether it's all carbs and fats -" - which, whatever. )

It takes him a moment to realise Will hasn't said anything back. In fact, he's barely even moved, only enough to squint at his textbook from a new angle. Clearly the most self-aware guy in the room, this guy.

He tries again. Can't have people calling him un-persistent, or whatever.

"So, the, lumen of the vein is larger than the artery, right? Since they have thinner walls?" Oh, curse me. His own insults to that zoom around his brain like a sledgehammer on nectar. And for all his embarrassment, what does he get? Nothing. Solace is still sitting, thumbing through the pages like he hasn't heard anything.

So much for Reyna making his promise to try having friends, and so much for Solace dumping out on him for pushing people away. If he's going to ignore him, and not even tell him why like - like someone who'd promised to be honest with him, then he can just catch up with his textbook in private and not have to deal with Nico's awkward conversation starters or help in the infirmary again.

Fuck it. He stomps away, shaking out his fringe and angrily pressing his thumb into the indent of his initials in his sword's hilt.

No need to let anyone think the Fates are playing favourites, because clearly Nico's in a league of his own with them. Even better, they must love him so much, because right at that moment, when he's suddenly, too irrationally angry to think about where he's going, he trips over a side table and goes careening headfirst into the shelf by the window.

Ah, merde.

"Hey, are you al- wait, Nico? What are you doing here, man? You okay?"

...And of course that's what finally makes Solace wake up from his biology-induced lotus casino haze.

As Solace bounds over, ostensibly to do his whole why-aren't-you-taking-care-of-yourself-better-nico-listen-to-me-I'm-a-doctor-so-I-know-best-and-you-don't routine, Nico resists the urge to melt into the wall, literally. Why did he tell Reyna he'd try making friends? Look where it gets him. Why, of all people, did he have to say he'd try hanging out with Solace of all people when Reyna demanded he give her some actual names to back up his promises?

- ..stupidi ragazzi carini con i loro stupidi sorrisi e le loro stupide lamentele e la loro mancanza di consapevolezza spaziale perché los tre Moirai sono così per me, mamma? perché, dei, perché....

Solace hauls him up halfway into his arms and starts asking him random questions, like:

"What's your name?" Rude, didn't he just call Nico from across the room?

"Okay, okay, cool, I deserved that one, can you tell me what day it is?" How is Nico supposed to answer that. He barely knows what day it is on a good day, he just follows camp schedule through osmosis most of the time, asking random campers what the strategies for the next capture the flag game are to get a gauge on how far away it is -

"Shit, c'mon man, help me out here, what were you looking for in the library anyway? I didn't know you were the reading type - " Which, again, rude? Does Nico not look like the reading type? Is it the black and silver? Does he not look smart enough or something? Hazel's a literal whiz, and Solace knows that, so it can't be a Hades thing.

"Come on, Nico, talk to me. You know why you came to the library, right? Can you at least tell me that?"

To talk to you, dumbass! Because you're ignoring me! Like I'm only worth your time when I'm a patient!

But it's not like he can just say that, because that would be weird. Joy of joys, Solace is getting even closer now, what the hell is going on?

"Uh - listen, don't freak out, maybe I'm freaking out, it's okay, stay calm, I'm calm, I literally do this every day, uh, can you just look straight at me, di Angelo? Need to get a good look at your eyes, figure out how bad we're dealin' here -" and he starts leaning in even closer what the literal fuck -

Is this Nico's punishment for insulting the Fates? Because, damn.

Also, because Nico's brain loves him, it abandons him once more in his time of need, forcing him to let out the weirdest squeak he's absolutely going to deny he ever made. He feels his cheeks warm, and jerks an inch away in a weird full-body shake like Frank sometimes does after returning to his human form.

Gods, what a nightmare. He lifts his hands up to cover his burning face and discreetly look for the nearest shadow when he notices Solace's ashen face, freezing.

Before he can get a real, human word out, Solace is suddenly stepping forward and cradling the back of Nico's head in a ridiculously warm hand while the other cards through his hair.

What the fuck. What the absolute fuck. He would say it feels like his soul is leaving his body if he didn't already know exactly how that felt. His eyes go wide as he wheezes, trying to stammer out a demand for Solace to fucking explain himself, taking liberties with his person -

Solace steps back, clearly confused. "No huge bumps, alright.. maybe shock?" His eyes widen again, as if he's just now noticing the state he's left Nico in.

"Shit, shit, it looks like shock, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, hold on, di Angelo, let's get you to the infirmary - " Uh, absolutely not? 'Di Angelo' has had enough of the infirmary for a lifetime, grazie mille, Dr. Solace. There isn't even anything wrong with him this time! He's not the one asking weird questions and doing weird things this time.

Without any further thought, he turns around and starts fighting his way out of Solace's grip. If his favourite doctor's shocked cursing is anything to go by, it's the first time a patient's actively tried to escape his tender mercies.

Scratch that. Solace's arms tighten around his waist and the ensuing scuffle makes it clear this is not his first time. Shit, Nico might actually lose this one.

"Sunoffa- Nico! I'm trying to help, calm down!" Like hell you are, Solace. Let me the fuck go (so I can run away and wallow with the nymphs) and maybe then we'll talk.

He redoubles his efforts while pivoting to avoid the lamp on the table next to them.

"You fucking menace," Solace hisses, and if that hidden loss of cool makes Nico grin, well, what's a skull scarf for. Not every day you get to make Sir Doctor Extraordinaire stop being all sunshiney for a day.

Solace finally growls and stops fighting him. "Alright, you win! Hey, can't you stop aggravating your injuries for once?" Which. Wait, what injury? Nico's in perfect health!

"- and like, wartime's one thing, normal camp is another. Do you seriously not respect your body at all? Come on, you haven't even argued it! D'you seriously hate the infirmary that much? Are we a joke to you? You haven't even said anything since you hit your head and - " Nico lets the rest of Will's rant fly over him as he stills, and his mind goes, oh. Oh, this is hilarious. Okay, well, all he's gotta do to correct Will's little misconception is to say something then, right?

He opens up his mouth to cut Will off when he lands on his burning blue eyes and realises, belatedly, that Will's warm arms are still ever-so-gently and firmly cradling his waist, curling around the coarse fabric of his Camp Half-Blood tee.

As his brain goes offline for the the third and hopefully final time, Nico bemoans his existence and prepares himself to blurt out:

"The kidneys are where erythrocytes go to die."

Oh, Dei miei. That's not even right. "Well, no, I mean, the kidneys are where erythropoietin is produced, when the medulla oblongata detects a lack of oxygen in the body, which stimulates the growth of more red blood cells in the bone marrow..."

At least Will's shut up now, which is great. Nico can already feel the headache brewing from his ranting. Instead of backing off, however, Will absentmindedly adjusts his grip on Nico's waist and cocks his head to the side.

"...Did you come to the library to ask me to help you with your biology homework? Because, and I really mean no offense, buddy, but I kinda thought you were a year-round camper. Where'd you find the time to study AP Bio?"

Nico gives up and melts to the floor, ignoring Will's cries to groan and repeatedly thunk his head into the thankfully carpeted floor. This is how Nico dies. He prays for his father to open up the ground and bring him down to the palace for a visit. Will's still struggling to pull him up off the floor (if he's going to chase after him, he can deal with having to catch him, damnit), but only one thought is playing through Nico's mind.

Oh, I'm never going to live this one down, am I?

same fic another scene 0 - prologue-ish

Smoke stings his eyes.

He sits and lights incense after incense, sits at campfire after campfire, never able to open his mouth to sing the mourning songs for fear of it coming out hoarse, broken. Not good enough to honour the dead. Never good enough to save them, either, but that's neither here nor there, is it?

The Fates will have their way, Mamma had said. God has a plan for you, cuoricino, just you wait. You will rule the world one day, you and your sister, I know it.

Nico hates the Fates, sometimes.

[doberbutts]

Day three of HGE: Tater and Fae seem to be on the mend. We have not had vomit or bloody stool since their hospitalization yesterday, and they are eating small amounts. They seem tired (I would be too after 48+ hours of no food) but otherwise in good spirits. They are running, playing, wagging their tails in the yard.

Sushi's symptoms rapidly progressed throughout yesterday but it seems the meds have gotten them mostly under control. I'll be asking the doctors if they feel she too should have IV fluids. She is eating small amounts and drinking on her own and is waggy and happy but she is still passing what is mostly blood albiet much less often than every 10 minutes like she was before. She has not vomited since last night when her meds kicked in.

This has not been cheap but no life-and-death situation is. I still have no idea what caused it but have thrown out all of my kibble, canned, and raw food that was either opened or expired and have scrubbed every bowl inside the house as well as the yard water bowls. I pray that will be enough to keep this from happening again. The doctor is fairly certain that the open can I had in the fridge was the culprit as it was expired by a week and open for a week and some, but she still advised me to play it safe and dump everything even remotely suspicious.

Once again I am so glad that I trusted my gut when Fae's only symptom of this was 'vomiting and not acting right'. I blame my experience with intestinal blockages in dobermans and bloat in GSDs 🤦‍♂️ but at least having dealt with both of those allowed me to take these signs seriously and get them seen before it progressed past the point of no return. Looking up HGE reveals that it can cause especially a small dog to pass away in under 24 hours from the time symptoms begin 😱 I feel like I got off easy with a couple sleepless nights and scrubbing my carpets. A big vet bill is a small price to pay to save the lives of all three of my dogs at once.