#just for laughs

[in4newz]

Follow Bluesky

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Elliot watching me catch three times my body weight in fish because I spent all my money on that season’s seeds and now I need to make fast fishing money so me and my chickens don’t starve to death.

[reality-detective]

This is Brilliant 😂

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

rudy giuliani: emperor of the city (2001) - andrew kirtzman

"the debat"

[gaygunsmoke]

[tkachuktkaching]

This article/blog 😂

[oldshowbiz]

"The problem is that geniuses die broke. Mediocrity rises to the top. If you wanna be really successful in comedy, be mediocre." - George Burns, 1993

[sadisticunicornbaby]

[iluvjuicybooty]

Omg! 😮😆😂

[in4newz]

More related

[lotusyiyen]

[reality-detective]

LOL 😂

[dropoutdottv]

👏 Dropout Improv is coming to Just For Laughs Vancouver on February 20th, 2025!

⏰ Tickets will be available starting at 1pm ET / 10am PT here

[darkangel11122]

Imagine you're a well-known expert swordsman who men/women/people fear if they don’t wanna outright have bone you, some of them do both but that’s not the point. You’re living your life as a single man having a grand old time. Then you're totally not an adopted son with anger issues start dating the son of the owner of your favorite restaurant located middle of nowhere. Who have you watched grow up and who have you seen give random patrons level 5 concussions since he was like 12. So you're not really worried about him holding his own but you are concerned that your not-adopted son will break the heart of the obviously a bit love-starved boy, which would mean you might end up no longer able to go to your preferred dive bar. Now your not-adopted son has some(lot) of issues one of which is he doesn’t bathe regularly and no sense of direction either. With those anger issues, it does make you worry that you might no longer be able to get those horrible but so very delicious dishes from that dive. To keep from dwelling on that too much you choose to focus on your own love life, your three eager suitors, one of which was more eager than the others. You do have rather homoerotic sword fights like every other week since you started swimming in the same circles. You don’t wanna just pick him because he’s got enough of an ego but you also don’t wanna pick the clown because he’s a clown or the lizard. After all, you're soundly a bird and he also has problems with water. This would make him a good pair for your not-adopted son, but your definitely adopted daughter “ships you “ with your homoerotic sword fight companion. Wanting to no longer think of your own life you go back to focusing on your not adopted son’s relationship with the son of the owner of your favorite dive.

Deciding that while he’s living with you now, totally not because you adopted him, you decide to try to fix some of those small issues so at least you can argue that you tried to raise your not adopted son to be a good partner. You like to think it kinda worked but when you hear about them fighting you still cross your fingers and pray to whoever is listening. 

When the fact that your not adopted son's partner is also adopted and is actually a fucken prince, you almost have a heart attack and are the son of an asshole with a bunch of asshole brothers and a sister. Now while you choose to let the poor kid handle it, should push come to shove you will probably offer your services to take out said sperm downer if it would get you back in the good graces of the dive owner if your not adopted son fucks it up. It does also make you feel a bit anxious about the wedding as while you can provide a worthy celebration of such rather sweet love it’s not the level of a royal family.  Then again this kid is a cook and a pirate in love with your nardulle not adopted son. This does make you at least question his taste in men but he also has a similarly refined taste as you, so it’s a bit of a give and take. 

The biggest curveball however is when you bring up your still present nervousness at your not adopted son’s relationship and you almost have a heart attack because his response is “What relationship?” With a confused look on his face. Which was something in itself as he doesn’t emote often at least if it’s not rage. Leading to further confusion as you and your adopted daughter look at each other to confirm you both heard him. Then you say the one which the cook, son of that dive bar owner, apparently a prince of some kind. Your not-adopted son, who’s not one for choking or wasting alcohol, spits out his drink of some alcohol that would likely make him go blind, and yells out a “What! I’m not with that shitty cook!” 

This makes you freak out because omg you broke up! I have reservations for next week! Fuck! I’m gonna have a fight when I get there and I just wanna drink and kick up my feet and relax! Luckily while you’re having your inner freak out your adopted daughter has the presence of mind to confusedly ask “What? You're not?”

Which reveals that they were in-fact not together and never had been. Which does bring you out of your freak out, enough to actually look confused. 

“Your not?” 

“No” 

“Are you sure?” 

“The fuck  you mean am I sure? Why would I be with that shitty cook!” 

This is when your adopted daughter chooses to point out all the things you’ve both seen in how they interact and the look in his eyes or eye when the cook is in the line of vision. Then leads to a month of your not adopted son denying everything, at random times too coming up with defenses at random times you come yell at you or your adopted daughter.  At one point you are on a long-distance phone call with your not-quite boyfriend, still homo-erotic sword fight partner, when your not-adopted son bursts in and yells that his gaze isn’t full of lot and longing but angry and frustrated at the cook's existence. All said at a shouted volume and with an enraged look on his face. Know did your, not-quite boyfriend wins some big points with you with his response of “frustrated longing is a thing too.” Which almost made you laugh, you had an image to keep up. Though it did send your, not son into a bit of a spiral and about to challenge your not-yet boyfriend to a fight. That you had to defuse as honestly your not son was being an idiot and your not yet boyfriend is also an idiot, and while idiot and idiot is also entertaining, this seems more like a crime than a fun show. 

After a month of this denial in the middle of the night, while you were sleeping he busted into your room and yelled.

“Okay so maybe I’m a little in love with him!” 

A lovely revelation that could have waited until the morning. Now you're either regretting adopting him as he obviously is just here to vex you. “Great glad you’ve come to terms with it.”  You attempt to roll over and go back to sleep but it seems your son is now choosing to chat your ear off. It almost seems like retribution for making him come to this revelation. Of course, your daughter sensing your awake comes in and joins in his babbling. So now you have both your children seated on the edge of your bed talking about boys, All while you’re trying to sleep. 

When your daughter started painting your nails do don’t really know but she was doing that while your son was braiding her hair as they continued to talk about boys. This is your life now, no sleep but your nails do look great so it’s a give-and-take you guess. 

[gaygunsmoke]