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aikoiya · 2 years

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DP - Phantom Twins AU - Alternate Ending

Here's an AU to my AU. Instead of fleeing from the Disasteroid, Vlad is killed by it.

After completing her studies of ecto-biology in the Far Frozen & her degree in medicine & pharmacology at the University of Illinois College of Medicine at the Chicago Campus, Dina Fenton is asked by Clockwork to go back in time & fix something for him.

She's sent back to Vlad & her parents' college days to help Vlad through his transition into halfa-hood & to help him gain control of his powers. She wasn't allowed to prevent the accident, however.

Doing this would create an alternate timeline where the man would be a better person & wouldn't be killed. After accomplishing her mission, she would be brought back to the present.

She goes & applies to Wisconsin University's medical course under the name Diana Nightingale-Winchester, grumbling about how she'd have to do it all over again. At least this time it'd be easier.

She meets the trio & quickly inserts herself into their clique with her knowledge of ghosts, ecto-biology, & ectoplasmic chemistry.

She is able to largely curb a lot of Jack & Maddie's budding ectophobic prejudices by reminding them that all their knowledge is second hand, so it was unreliable at best. It'd be better if they waited until they actually saw a ghost before making any decisions on whether ghosts are sentient or evil or not. She does this by reminding them of the scientific method & the fact that it's always best to remain unbiased.

Dina makes friends with Vlad surprisingly easily, learning that they have several things in common.

Things like a love of classic literature (she prefers adventure fiction), chess (she used to play it with her Vlad, but hadn't gotten the chance to play since), food, baking, music (Dina has eclectic preferences, but little experience with the music available in the 60s, more preferring the 80s, so she follows the trio's queue until she gets her feet & is able to explore the musical scene herself; Dina plays good violin & Vlad plays great piano), debating, & plays (especially musical theater).

They get along very well because the young man doesn't yet have all the mental or emotional issues that he does in the future. She even learns by hanging out with the trio that she actually quite likes dancing & is rather good at it.

Dina actually finds him rather cute like this. However, for the most part, Vlad's affections remain on Maddie.

Dina helped with the creation of the proto-portal, all the while she was anxious about going through with it at all. She felt horrible that she was just gonna let this happen.

When the moment before eruption hour came, it took everything inside of her to keep herself from grabbing Vlad by the back of his lab coat & pulling him out of the way. If nothing else, she was able to catch Jack before he mistakenly used diet soda instead of the ecto-purifier.

If she couldn't stop it from happening altogether, the least she could do was make Vlad's recovery as easy as possible.

The portal was turned on & Vlad was hit. He still contracted ecto-acne. As soon as it was over, Dina had the man in her arms & was racing out the door to the campus nurse’s office as she yelled behind her for Maddie & Jack to call an ambulance.

Dina made sure to visit him often, frequently dragging Jack & Maddie away from their work to go with her. They would complain, but she was a master of guilt tripping, though she didn't often use this particular power of hers. She could be pretty manipulative when she wanted to be.

At one point, Dina's ghost sense was set off by one of Vlad's doctors & it wasn't very long before she discovered that it was Spectra & that the wraith was fostering negativity within the ailing college student.

After confronting & dispatching with the bitch, Dina quickly rose to the top of her class. She then used her influence as a star student doctor at the UW Health University Hospital slowly maneuvering herself so that she would eventually be placed on rotation for caring for Vlad. Then, upon finishing school, she landed a job there & was eventually able to become his head doctor.

Vlad was shocked by her sudden appearance & quickly humbled when he realized that she was putting in so much effort for him. This was the start of Vlad's shift in fixation, from Maddie to Dina.

With her expertise in ecto-biology, ecto-contamination, & experience having helped her parents create the 'cure' for ecto-acne, as well as having helped Sam & Tucker through their own ecto-acne induced halfa transitions, Dina was uniquely suited for the position. She was able to create a medicine that helped to mitigate the symptoms, but not cure it as she had yet to find one. The fact that his acne wasn’t further contaminated by a carbonated beverage also helped.

She also made it her goal to keep as many doctors from poking & prodding & cutting stuff out of him as if he were a science experiment as possible.

She became Vlad's rock during those 5-7 years & they grew closer as a result. The fact that she was never afraid of nor seemed distracted by his acne meant a lot to him. The woman never even flinched near him & at several points didn’t even seem bothered with the prospect of touching him like the other doctors & nurses were.

Inevitably, the acne spread until it reached his heart & he died as a result. Thinking quickly, Dina tried defibrillators to revive him, but they didn't work.

Finally, she switched to her Shocking Grasp in desperation & his heart restarted. Her ghost sense suddenly went off & looking down, she saw Vlad looking up at her in hazy wonderment with wide eyes, irises a glowing magenta. Then, they flickered back & forth to his usual royal blue before passing out.

Eventually, when Vlad began showing ghostly symptoms, he tried to hide it from her, but was unable to for very long.

It wasn't until he suddenly transformed that things changed. Unlike in the future, his skin remained flesh-colored, if a little paler, & his eyes were more normal looking with glowing magenta irises. No stupid-ass devil horn looking hair, either, thank God. Also, he was wearing a hospital gown that was light orange instead of the typical teal. (She silently added teaching him to relocate the extension of his ghostly aura that kept the hospital gown connected to him to the list of things she needed to teach him.)

Other than that, he was mostly the same as in the future at least physically. He didn't have fangs or pointy ears or claws though, but Dina knew that they would likely appear upon him reaching 'halfa puberty' as she & her brother called it. That's what happened with them anyway, though they personally got long, sharpened canines instead of just fangs, slitted pupils, a long, thick, tapering, prehensile tongue with a pointed tip, & retractable cat-like claws. They figure that the elf ears, teeth, pupils, & claws were just a common thing among halfas in-general.

The college student freaked the fuck out when it happened & started floating up uncontrollably toward the ceiling.

This was when Dina showed her hand, transforming & flying up to help him.

This also freaked the man out. He started to hyperventilate, but Dina was able to help him. She pulled him against her in an embrace, pulling him back down to the bed & explained things as she held him in her arms. (Not everything, mind. Just enough to satisfy him.)

Eventually, he pulled away to look at her & his cheeks flushed magenta at the sight of her: glowing peridot eyes with the barest aqua tint & glorious snowy white hair with a pearlescent sheen in the light that drifted around her like it was made of water.

She looked like an angel or a goddess.

He gulped & looked away, his chest fluttering with warmth.

After that, Vlad was cleared from the hospital, the initial transformation having gotten rid of the acne itself, but was surprisingly upset at the idea that he wouldn't be able to interact with Dina as often. In response, Dina laughed & said she'd still hang out with him, she had to teach him how to use his powers after all.

Dina helped him to learn to control them as best she could. Always patient with him. Teaching him everything she could remember his future self using, that she also just so happened to have herself.

With her help, he gained control of them much quicker than in the original timeline & would become stronger due to her pushing him to further better himself. Though, he'd never be as powerful as her because he wouldn't face nearly as many powerful opponents or obstacles as she & her brother did.

Eventually, Vlad presented as either an OA Omega or an AA Alpha & had his first heat/rut. He was in pain & his first instinct was to seek Dina out. With his permission, she helped him to 'relieve the pain.' This only furthered his fixation on her as he got a strange satisfaction from being so worn out by her.

That was also when he first saw her soul marks & quickly identified that one matched his own which had only appeared after he'd first transformed: a starry sky with a silvery full moon at its peak & a sea of red below.

After his first heat/rut, Vlad was taken aback by how Dina's scent changed. Before, it was like sea, tropical flowers, vanilla, lavender, & white orchid. Now, though, it also held the smell of red wine, ginger, passionfruit, Mexican dark chocolate, fire, red roses, & chrysanthemums. It was a lovely combination that brought to mind a relaxing vacation & soothed him immensely.

It was only later he realized that the new facet to her scent was actually his own on her.

This triggered a desire in him to always have her smell like that & he began subtly bumping into her & giving her his jacket to wear whenever he saw her. He didn't seem to realize it, but he was actually showing his interest in courting her by doing so.

At one point, they were sparring &, in the end, they were at each others throats. (She’d held back, of course.) Vlad, exhilarated by the adrenalin in his system, pulled Dina in for a kiss.

They made out for a while before Vlad realized what he'd done & pulled off her, turning away in embarrassment, face flushed magenta. Ashamed by his actions & the half-raised tent in his pants. "I'm sorry! I'm just... I didn't mean-!"

Dina's heart beat fast, not having really considered this possibility. "I... It's okay. You just got worked up or something."

That rubbed Vlad the wrong way. Thinking about it, he realized something. Turning to look at the woman. "No. I think I love you."

Spooked, Dina was silent for a moment. "You can't. Not right now."

Starting, Vlad demanded, "What? Why!? Do you not like me like that?"

Taking a moment, Dina realized that that wasn’t the problem. “No, it’s not that I don’t like you so much as it isn’t the right time yet.”

Disheartened, yet somehow also relieved that she wasn’t outright rejecting him. "When will it be time?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Dina saw the silhouette of a familiar timekeeper.

Biting her lip, Dina gave him the exact date that she left her time. "After that, ask me again the next time you see me."

Vlad grew distressed, “But that’s so long. 30 years?”

Solemnly, she took his hand, “It has to be this way.”

That night, Dina returned to her time & when she got home, she was greeted by Vlad Masters. Alive & kicking. Though, he wasn't dressed as expensively as he used to when she first met him. He was actually dressed pretty normally.

He had with him a bouquet of irises (she smiled knowing he remembered her favorite flower) & when he saw her, he flushed holding them out to her with a timid smile. "Is it time now?"

Dina gave him a lopsided grin, taking the irises from his hand. "I suppose it is."

Then, they lived happily ever after... For the most part. They’ve still got her family to contend with.

---

I don't think that this new Vlad would become a hero or a saint. No, I mean, he's still Vlad after all. He, by nature, is a selfish, greedy, power hungry man.

So, while he might've tried to be a better person, I don't think he'd necessarily be a good person either. At least, not without Dina's direct influence. Definitely not a hero anyway.

He'll likely get better after she returns to her time & meets up with the new Present Vlad to start up an official relationship.

I feel like this new Vlad wouldn't have associated much with either Maddie or Jack due to how they wouldn't put much effort into contacting him themselves. Not after Dina literally had to guilt trip them into visiting him in the hospital. They wouldn't be doing it maliciously, but I do theorize that they might be neurodivergent & have object permanence problems, so without Dina there to remind them that they have a friend, they'd just sorta forget that he exists when he isn't in front of them. This would've caused Vlad to feel somewhat bitter but nowhere nearly as much as he is in canon.

As such, Vlad would've still only have met the Fenton kids at the reunion, though this time it wouldn't be a plot against Jack to get Maddie.

He'd wear more clothes than just suits too, because he wouldn't feel as much of a need to show off.

When he first sees the Dina of this new timeline, he's taken aback. (He calls the Dina he remembers 'Dina' because he hadn't been so formal when they met. He also refuses to call this small Dina, Dina because of a certain disconnect he feels between the 2.) Though younger than his Dina, they looked very alike. He'd spend the visit socializing with the young Dina, trying to subtly figure out her deal.

He soon realizes that this was Dina, but not his Dina. Vlad reveals himself as a halfa to her, who almost immediately tells Danny, & the elder halfa offers to train them. No strings attached this time. As such, they have no reason not to accept, so the twins do.

This alters the timeline quite a bit. (Also, Dina's initial crush on him specifically isn't killed this time around & instead flourishes. This causes an entirely different conflict of it's own.) Sure, most of the events of canon do take place still, but with different catalysts & reasons behind them.

Like, Reign Storm still happens but either Pariah is released by supporters of his or Vlad is still the one behind it as he still desires power, but he never intended it to get as bad as it did & due to his Dina & the twins’ influence on him, he helps them from the very beginning. I'm debating which twin beats Pariah this time around. Either way, it's one of the twins. That, or it's a Phantom Fusion AU & they both do, technically.

The Vortex thing wouldn't be his doing, it'd be a result of something else. I'm contemplating the creation of a sect within the Ghost Zone that worships or is at least dedicated to creating chaos & mayhem. They'd end up becoming the catalysts of a number of the things that Vlad had done in the old timeline.

Stuff like that.

At the same time, some episodes wouldn't even exist in the same way. Like Ultimate Enemy. In this, because Vlad is less of a fruitloop, Dan would be a much more emotionally complicated person. Yes, he'd be angry at the world & estranged from his sister, but not so much murderous. Phantom still gets separated from his human half, but Phantom doesn't separate Plasmius from Vlad. Instead, it quickly becomes evident that it's not a good thing for halfas to remain separated for long because not only does it result in emotional & behavioral problems, but also health ones.

Fenton came out chronically depressed & a coward, while Phantom came out angry & angsty. It becomes apparent that if Fenton & Phantom aren't put back together, they will both die. However, Phantom is very angry with Fenton & is reluctant to fuse back together because he feels betrayed.

Eventually, they're forced to re-fuse, but the resulting Danny is a combination of both sides' enhanced issues & seems almost ill-fitted together. He takes the name Dan because he no longer feels like himself anymore.

This Dan looks different from the Dan of canon. Though his skin is also blue, it's paler. Almost white with the barest tinge of blue, like ice. His hair, because he isn't fused with Plasmius, isn't on fire & more resembles the smoke that comes off of dry ice, so it doesn't rise like a candle on top of his head, rather it falls & gives him a more contained, slicked back look. It also sparkles slightly when the light catches it, similar to freshly fallen snow. He also doesn't have a widow's peak. His eyes are peridot green with slitted pupils, he has a long, thick, tapering, prehensile tongue that ends in a point, & instead of fangs (top row of teeth only), he has long, sharp canines (both top, which are called fangs too, & bottom rows of teeth). His canines are very pronounced. (When he's angry, another, longer pair of fangs slide out in front of the first & the rest of his teeth sharpen too until they're not dissimilar to the inside of a wolf's mouth.) His ears are pointed & he has retractable cat-like claws.

Because he was divided for a time, Phantom was too weak to keep the town safe on his own, so he & Dina had to switch roles for a while, but he was nowhere near as good at being a medic as her. Terror reigned down on Amity. Then, when the heavier hitters came around, such as Undergrowth & Vortex, things happened. For instance, when Vortex was released by the Cult of Chaos, Dina instead dodged, so she didn't get Vortex's weather powers. As a result, when he came back from his country road trip, he beat the twins again. He would then get bored & leave again to continue his reign of terror over the world. And the twins were unable to pursue him because they had to protect Amity. Sure, they tried, but Vortex always escaped.

Then, because of his division, Dan's core didn't develop enough to get it's element yet. So, when Undergrowth appeared, they had no means to beat him. The twins did manage to run him off, but that meant that he too became someone else's problem.

It wasn't until Phantom & Fenton fused back together & Dan developed his ice powers that they were able to go out & actually defeat Undergrowth & Vortex. But by that point, a large portion of the human population was killed.

He dated Valerie for a while, but his personal & emotional problems got in the way of a real relationship with her. Eventually, Dan himself goes to Clockwork's & uses the portal to go back in time to warn his past self not to cheat on the CAT, despite knowing that it'd cause him to be separated from time & never be able to see his own sister again. He becomes an infrequent part of the show, sometimes helps the team, & teaches Danny some of what he knows as of their powers.

However, something about this made it so that the Plant Queen Sam alternate timeline had a Sam who went crazy with grief instead of became a hero. She became the canon Dan of her timeline & destroyed practically the whole world.

So, when Clockwork eventually merged Dan's & Queen Sam's timelines, Dan was the one who had to bring Sam back to herself. Because this Dan had access to cryomancy, he was able to one-up her in every fight so long as he avoided her blood blossoms enough to use ice magic to freeze them.

Also, because of his more stable mental state & lack of desire for Danny & Dina to be his perfect half-ghost children, Vlad wouldn't clone either of them & thus there'd be no Dani as a result. At the same time, Danny & Sam's first child would end up being a girl with Dani's soul. So, she still exists on some level.

Anyway, Vlad & this young Dina would be much closer. Though, Vlad would try to keep his distance for obvious reasons. Especially upon realizing that the girl had a crush on him.

He may want his Dina back, but he wasn't about to take advantage of this young girl because of it.

A few years before the date that his Dina gave him, the Dina that grew up as his protege disappears & it causes him to get worried. Then, the date came & went. He could almost feel it when she returned & it drove him to buy the woman her favorite flowers. Like he hoped, she returned to her home that evening & Vlad could just tell there was something both distinctly different & very familiar about this Dina in a way that made his heart flutter in his chest. He gave her the irises & asked her if it was time now & she took them with that familiar smile, confirming that she supposed it was time.

Over their next few weeks together, Dina began to slowly gain memories of living in this new timeline along with her original one.

It was like the 2 Dinas merged.

Phantom Twins AU Masterlist

#dp #danny phantom #fem!danny phantom #fem!danny fenton #vlad masters #vlad plasmius #endangered species #time travel #a/b/o dynamics #omegaverse #phantom twins au #pompous pep #diana 'dina' fenton #diana 'dina' phantom #writing prompt

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anamoon63 · 2 years

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Get To Know Me - 2022

I was tagged by @nocturnalazure thank you, my friend! Sorry for taking this long to reply.

Favorite Color: Mostly purple and pink, but in clothes I rather use a combination of those colors with black. I love red color too.

Currently Reading: I’m not reading anything now; I haven’t finished reading what I started last year. I’m mostly concentrated on writing and housework.

Last song you listened to: “Gloria” by Laura Branigan, from an 80’s music list my family played for me on a little celebration we had.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweet. Sometimes sweet & sour too.

Currently Working On...

Sims Wise: I'm working on updates of my “Time Traveler” story and my “The Cho Brothers” gameplay, they're coming very soon! But first I'll post a few more pics of The Langeraks, (I need to empty that folder once and for all). Also, I'm trying to catch up with the tags in my queue. Thank you so much to the simmers who have tagged me! ;)

Real Life: Trying to figure out what’s wrong with my computer. The repair shop guy had it for five days and each time we called him he said he was ‘working on it’. I am not a patient person, especially when it comes to my computer, so I got tired of waiting and asked him to give it back. When we left it at the shop it started but there was no image, when we took it home it won’t start at all. The guy had unplugged the power source and one of the hard drives. I fixed that and was able to make it start myself.

My computer is working with just one (8GB) memory cause the other one got damaged since last year. Now each time I turn the computer off it won’t start unless I change the memory stick to the remaining slot, (it’s a two-slot motherboard, so one is empty now). It’s a mystery for me why this would help it to start. I'm no expert in computers, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the RAM memory slots, maybe the whole motherboard. Anyway, I’ll get the other memory stick to have 16GB RAM again and see if that solves the problem.

That’s what I’ve been struggling with in real life, it was also my birthday on May 6, my family took me out for dinner and my son gifted me two games from my Steam wish list: Stardew Valley and Bioshock Infinite. I had to wait to have my computer back to start playing those, lol.

So-- it’s all going great except for the issue with the repair shop guy. Well at least he didn’t charge us, lol.

I don't know who else to tag, cause I see most of you have already answered this, but if anyone wants to do it, please go ahead. 😊

#the sims 3 #sims 3 simblr #ts3 #text post #los sims de ana #get to know me #personal stuff

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superhero--imagines · 3 years

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Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info I Instagram I Zine

A/N: Looking for a beta reader for a personal writing piece, let me know if you feel like you're a pretty good editor! Also this has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 months, and IDK maybe I'll do more of them since it's kinda fun.

* Omg this freak is so stupid into the fact that you literally create universes with those godly hands

* I’m not kidding, I think a good 80% of his initial attraction to you was because you’re writing will literally make you immortal

* “You’re going to live forever,” Satoru says slightly breathless as he holds one of your print publications in his hand

* You’re just like ‘wtf’ so he explains-

* “You die twice, once when your body can no longer sustain itself, and the second the last time someone says your name.”

* Ah, so he thinks you’ll live forever in the sense that someone will always reference your work

* “That’s not exactly true though, one day the sun will swallow the earth whole, turning everything we love to dust”

* Satoru thinks you sound just like a writer when you say stuff like that

* “Well, unless we find another planet and have a database there or something”

* Satoru googles ‘how to buy a planet’ and ‘how much would it cost to set up a database in space’

* He’s got no respect for your craft- and by that I mean if you’ve got a deadline you’re trying to meet for a submission period or for your editor whatever, he’s just got no respect for it

* Queue Gojo shenanigans where he’ll hide all the pens in the house, or hide your laptop or something just so he can see you all flustered and panicked

* “I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS I ONLY HAVE 12 HOURS TO GET THIS IN!!” You shriek running from one end of your home to the other looking desperately for your laptop charger

* It’s too late in the game to order another one, and you don’t trust leaving Gojo alone in this house

* More than once you’ve left the house to replace whatever Satoru stole only to return to see even more of your things were gone now

* One time he rearranged all the furniture

* “It’s up there,” Gojo says grinning, and you look up to the ceiling fan to see your laptop charger idly hanging off one of the panels

* “I’ll get it down for you if you give me a kiss,” he says cheekily

* There’s sort of a method to the madness

* Part of it is yeah, Gojo loves to laugh, and nothings funnier than you when you’re flustered

* But part of it is you’ve been hunched over your laptop for days now, and you’re starting to be mean to yourself because you’re frustrated

* You need a break

* One he’s more than happy to offer

* And a teeny tiny portion is because he’s lonely

* Whenever you get sucked into a project it’s like you forget about him completely

* So he just wants to remind you he’s here

* And that he loves you

* You sigh, giving him a quick peck, and with a wave of his hand he brings the charger down

* “I expect a better reward when you’re done with your story”

* I think Gojo is probably a pretty big fan of your work

* In fact he’s probably your #1 fan

* But he’s super low-key about it.

* Buys all your publications on pre-order (never in large amounts so you don’t notice)

* If you’ve got into a bigger journal/magazine, or have a book at a bookstore will buy a copy every time he passes by one and see’s it

* He keeps one copy of each work on his bookshelf in the living room

* And then stores the rest/extra copies in a velvet storage box in a temperature-controlled area

* He also has another set that he notoriously marks up with notes/annotations

* “This part sounds like the time I brought them food and took them on a spontaneous date” he’ll say, scribbling furiously into the margin

* Gojo see’s your writing as an extension of you- of your soul

* So he does his best to try and figure out where you get inspiration from

* He’s especially delighted if he notices something he did, inspired something you wrote -

* “Ah the villain hid the hero’s laptop charger so they couldn’t turn in their assignment on top,” he says with a sigh

* - Even if it’s not always positive

* Honestly he plays it so cool you think he doesn’t really think anything of your profession until you come over to his place for the first time and see all your works in a neat line on his shelf

* And even then you think he’s just supporting you because he loves you, after all, they’re all in great condition, he probably hasn’t even opened them.

* And then a little further into the relationship, probably when you move in together or something

* You find all those marked-up copies

* Gojo Satoru has never been redder

* You’re genuinely concerned he might combust

* He’s acting like you just found his porn stash or something

* You wait for a few minutes for him to stammer out an excuse or something

* But when he can’t seem to form any words after several minutes you sigh and close the box

* “I didn’t see anything”

* He just nods

* You start giving him copies of your work yourself now that you know he’s so interested

* “O-oh no it’s fine-“

* It’s actually one of the rare times you see Satoru flustered

* “It’s fine, I insist, I’ve got too many contributor copies anyway”

* He takes them in his hand blushing

* He would show up to all of your readings or signing events -

* Disguised Ofc

* “Hey you should be careful, that guy looks super sketchy-“

* You look to where your manager is pointing, to a tall lanky guy wearing a black hair wig, and these tacky thick-rimmed pink glasses and you sigh

* “No need to worry, that’s just my moronic boyfriend”

* “You don’t have to show up in disguise you know”

* “Well what was I supposed to do? You didn’t invite me” he’s doing that thing where he gets all shy, a blush on his face and his fingers tugging a strand of hair

* You sigh

* The dork is oddly lovable

* “Well, from now on you’ve got an open invitation to all my events”

* He smiles so bright you would think you just offered to blow him in the middle of the bookstore

* He’s got his shortcomings

* “SATORU DID YOU HIDE ALL MY REFERENCE BOOKS?!?!”

* But you couldn’t have asked for a more supportive boyfriend

* “Kiss me and maybe I’ll tell you where they’re at”

* Or a better muse

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #Gojo satoru x reader #Gojo satoru imagine #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru #Gojo x reader #gojou x y/n #saturo gojou #Satoru Gojo imagine #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru jjk #gojo satoru headcanon #superhero—imagines

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janamelie · 3 years

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Dimension Jump XXI Report

I suppose I’m a DJ veteran now as this was my fifth consecutive one and the fourth at the Nottingham Crowne Plaza which is an expensive four-star hotel. Sharing with a friend helps keep the cost reasonable and honestly, it’s worth it for the sheer convenience of being right there in the hotel and being able to nip back to your room as required. (To be clear, you don’t have to stay in the hotel to attend the con. There are plenty of other hotels nearby.)

Plus there is always the chance that you’ll see a guest at breakfast as I did Danny once. He picked out a few pieces of fruit and nibbled at them before wandering over late to his photoshoot. What else would you expect from a cat though?

Friday

Myself and @downonthepharm-red-dwarf (Amy) had arrived the previous day so had plenty of time to be near the front of the queue for registration. Which meant we saw Hattie Hayridge arrive in a stunning designer coat and with smart luggage. She really brought her outfit A-game and looked great the whole weekend.

Once we’d presented our respective proofs of full Covid vaccination or a recent negative test, we were given our DJ passes and booklets. The latter has spaces for signatures from guests, an Order Of Events and various handy tips for the weekend.

The con kicks off at 5pm with an hour of gradual build-up in the Main Hall - they show videos from previous events, specially made titbits with various guests past and present such as Mark Dexter doing a mock guide to DJ and Rebecca Blackstone voicing Pree. It all helps with the atmosphere, as do the numerous RD posters dotted around the hotel.

Then it was time for the Opening Ceremony featuring various Fan Club team members and an overcrowded stage full of cardboard boxes - the joke was that they’d had too much time on their hands during lockdowns and bought loads of stuff online. It was obviously also a nod to Lister’s hoarding in “The Promised Land”.

The sketch featured a specially made shot of the AA adverts’ Starbug model landing outside the Crowne Plaza and an 80s computerised version of the lovely convention logo. You could tell a lot of loving effort had gone into the whole thing.

Once the guest line-up had been announced (I’ll get to that not-really-a-surprise-guest shortly), we went straight into the RD Pub Quiz, hosted by Hattie. DOTP and I had been joined at our table by Lapsang and Barbs from our Discord (No Kind Of Atmosphere) plus various other attendees we’d befriended.

Someone in the crowd yelled “I love you, Hattie!” to which she quipped “I’ve pulled already!” Another bloke shouted “Fuck off, she’s mine!” which led to a few shouts of “Fight!” When neither seemed keen to do so, Hattie joked: “Only two? That’s a bit pathetic!” and then we got started.

The quiz is hard, by design, but I’m good at quizzes and my team - No Kind Of Atmosphere after our Discord - came joint third which was gratifying. (I was on the winning team a few DJs ago, to blow my own trumpet for a moment. This is my report, after all.)

And then it was time for the first guest Q&A with - surprise, surprise - Johnny Vegas aka the Crit Cop in “Timewave”. Not a great episode but he more than made up for that with an appearance I can only describe as chaotic. Warning - DO NOT attempt to heckle him unless you want to be singled out and humiliated in front of the entire audience in a “Can’t look away” fashion which was nonetheless entertaining. The man in question tweeted about it afterwards and seems to have taken it in good spirit.

Once we’d moved on from encouraging people to leave unpleasant things in room 429, it turned out Johnny’s a big fan of the show and owned it on VHS (so did I). He thinks of the main characters, Holly would win at “Taskmaster” and had good reasons for that conclusion.

He was dubious about the pink costume he wore in “Timewave” as he thought it might take away from the character but said he eventually decided he needed to get over what he was wearing and just go for it. He also said one of his worst working moments was on “Benidorm” when he had to hold his breath underwater in a freezing swimming pool and his co-star kept forgetting her two lines so they had over 30 takes. Ouch.

Johnny left commenting that he got less love at his 50th birthday party. But we hadn’t seen the last of him by any means as people kept buying him drinks during the Auction, leading to him successfully bidding for one of the items on offer.

And then he was back for the Karaoke. Now if you - as he informed us - had to undergo emergency dental surgery in the morning and had practically lost your voice, would you sing karaoke? And not only that, would you sing a version of “Love On The Rocks” which lasted 11 minutes according to someone on Twitter (I wasn’t timing it, but I can believe it), followed by the full-length version of “American Pie”?

If you answered no, you’re clearly not Johnny Vegas. He went to bed so late that the unfortunate Fan Club team member assigned to look after him got a grand total of 90 minutes’ sleep.

Saturday

DOTP and I had paid for the Photoshoot with Mr Vegas, Danny John-Jules and Ray Fearon. We got in the queue at 9am which was when it was supposed to start. An hour later we were still waiting. Yep, Danny was late.

Once he made it to the hotel, I got my photo in front of a Science Room backdrop. You might think Mr Vegas would be hungover and rushing through it, but on the contrary, he was still enjoying the hell out of proceedings which was refreshing to see. Since he’d been added to the line-up too late to be in the souvenir booklet, he signed extra inserts for the Fan Club which they handed out to everyone at the later Autograph sessions so attendees got his autograph after all even though he’d finally left. That’s what I call throwing yourself into an event.

Next up was a combined Q&A with Danny and Ray (originally separate but Danny’s lateness meant they were teamed up). This wasn’t a problem at all though - on the contrary, it worked really well as the chumminess between them added to the vibe. Also it was Ray’s first convention so he probably preferred to have Danny backing him up, especially since the poor man tripped on his way to the stage and almost fell. I don’t think he was hurt but I cringed with secondhand embarrassment and empathy. He wasn’t the only one to fall foul of the edge of the stage that weekend; I think it was the slightly raised dancefloor in front of it.

As is usual for Danny, we were treated to over half an hour of what you can only really describe as a stream of consciousness as he pontificated about various things. He and Ray did also talk about working together on “Death In Paradise” and Ray described his worst working experience there - he had to play a scene in a club in 45 degree heat with a live snake wrapped around his neck!

Ray is attractive in a “Hollywood hunk” way and Danny was clearly conscious of this, joking that he’d “brought his own security with him” and muttering “I’m better-looking anyway!” But all in a jokey way as they’re clearly friends.

Danny had come from filming and dropped a heavy hint that he’s appearing in a Dickens adaptation which I imagine will be shown at Christmas as they generally are. He also complained that Craig Charles never answers his phone: “You send him a message and he answers it on Twitter a month later!” (Interestingly, Chris Barrie later mentioned a recent phone conversation with Craig so make of that what you will.)

Ray was quieter but happy to talk about the vagaries of showbiz and typecasting - he said that due to his Shakespearean background he gets a lot of serious roles so people were genuinely surprised that he could also do comedy but “I was always funny!” He also gently teased Danny about the age of some of his references before admitting he still finds Tommy Cooper funny.

Danny usually performs “Tongue-tied” with a good grace when inevitably asked to by an audience member but perhaps it’s finally starting to pall as this time he did it in the style of Oliver Reed’s Bill Sykes and included a lot of X-rated references to cunnilingus etc. It was entertaining though.

Next up was a live Q&A (over Zoom) with Chris Barrie. Danny decided to stick around as he wanted to show Chris something he’d ordered online. It took a while to get the cameras in the right position for Chris to be able to see it and Danny needed a knife to open the parcel, leading Chris to quip “Is this a good time for me to step out for some lunch?”

However, it turned out to be worth it as it was a custom-made Ace Rimmer doll which impressed Chris with its quality and he complimented the maker.

Danny and Ray then departed for their lunch and to take part in the Coffee Lounge which this year had reduced its numbers for Covid-related reasons and held a ballot for entry in the interests of fairness. Amy and I didn’t get in but happily stayed for the rest of Chris’s Q&A.

In the “working from home” spirit, Chris was in a hoodie in his living room as opposed to his more usual smart suit. He was suitably relaxed and revealed he got through lockdown by concentrating on the things which make him happy, such as his hobbies, his garden and his family. His favourite episodes are “Marooned”, “Dimension Jump” and - less predictably - “Twentica”. He also referred to a recent “mannerly, as he would call it” phone conversation with Craig. No details but it had clearly been a positive experience.

Amy decided to liven up the ending of his Q&A by asking a vitally important, “TPL”-related question. Whom would Rimmer find more attractive, a female version of Lister or a female version of Cat?

Once the laughter had died down and Chris had bought some time by pointing out that “neither of them are women”, he gave the question appropriate consideration. He pondered whether Rimmer would be more taken by the “simple charms” of Lister or the “feline grace” of Cat. This next bit is courtesy of Amy as my memory isn’t infallible: He said it’d be a choice between a feline form or a rounder, a bit more slovenly woman - he wouldn’t want the perfectly feline woman because she might not like his imperfections, but he also wouldn’t want someone who ate curry three times a day. “Basically, a balance would be ideal.”

That was the last question but Chris provided a little more entertainment as he had a “How do you turn this off then?” moment a la Gordon the computer in “Better Than Life” and made amusing faces as he figured it out. If it was anyone but Chris I’d think it was a deliberate reference to that but I think he was genuinely befuddled.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Autographs with Hattie, Danny, Ray and Norman Lovett. I got the latter three to sign the “TPL” poster I’d brought with me but gave Hattie the booklet instead as it seemed more tactful. She complimented the dress I was wearing and I returned the compliment, telling her how much the fans appreciate the effort she makes with her DJ outfits.

Norman commented how there’s a version of the “TPL” poster he isn’t on, bemusedly. Fortunately mine was the version including him.

I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling in the bar with Amy, Lapsang and Barbs, chatting to other attendees. Graphic Designer Matthew Clark was now in the Merchandise Room with various props from Series XII and “TPL” including the Starbug manual used onscreen. I got his autograph on my poster but it’s an incomprehensible squiggle. Oh well. He was very friendly and easy to talk to.

After a break for dinner, the Main Hall reopened for the Costume Competition. This seems to get better every DJ, with an amazing “Greyscale Rimmer” who was discomfiting to be around due to the corpse-like makeup, a Natalina Pushkin, a Nirvanah Crane who could almost have been Jane Horrocks herself and a Diving Suit Cat from “BTE”. Other entries included Rimmer’s Mum, “Giraffes who were armed and dangerous” and a Confidence And Paranoia who were later pictured at the bar chatting to Paranoia himself, Lee Cornes.

We then had a special video message from Doug Naylor which I won’t go into as I’m sure everyone’s already heard the details. Suffice to say, his tone was positive.

The second Auction was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who made it more entertaining by adding his own commentary to each item. This was followed by a stand-up set from Norman. It was amusing but he misjudged the mood a bit, I feel. When you’re waiting for a disco to start and it’s already hours late due to Danny’s tardiness, you don’t particularly want to contemplate your own mortality. We were here to get away from all that, as much as possible.

Anyway, the Disco was a lot of fun even if Dave Benson Phillips’ presence as host was sorely missed. Hattie danced for the best part of an hour alongside everyone else. The stand-in DJs did their job and I stayed until the end. The final two songs were “Bohemian Rhapsody” and … “Tongue-tied”.

Sunday

Not being in the Sunday Photoshoot, Amy and I had a nice leisurely breakfast and got over last night’s festivities before the first Q&A, live over Zoom with Robert Llewellyn.

This was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who in his capacity as Dave era audience warm-up knows Robert well. Clearly well enough to get away with teasing him relentlessly about not being at the con in person until poor Robert was a mess of Krytenesque guilt.

His protestations that he’d been scheduled to be in Munich this weekend but no longer was (he was at home) only made things worse. Ian: “Oh, so that’s two sets of people you’ve disappointed now! Stop saying yes to things!” It was hilarious and Robert took it in its intended spirit. Also Ian was getting a measure of revenge for Robert - in character as Kryten - dry humping him at recordings. One attendee asked “With the groinal attachment?!”

Robert admitted that he finds Kryten’s various groinal attachments hilarious and if he was writing the show they’d be in every episode. He praised Doug’s restraint.

He also admitted that in “TPL” he had an earpiece to have his lines fed to him. Since it’s controlled by an iPad, certain unscrupulous cast members took great delight in feeding him rude ones.

He still intends to update “The Man In The Rubber Mask” but atm “Fully Charged” is consuming a lot of his time as it’s become much more successful than he anticipated and he’s in charge of several people.

Surprisingly, he would hate appearing in RD without the Kryten makeup, both because it’s become much quicker to apply and because it provides him with a shield and he becomes Kryten and forgets stagefright. He still can’t watch “DNA” for that reason.

Lapsang, who played Kryten in “Into The Gloop”, asked Robert if he’d seen it. He hadn’t but said he was now very curious and would find a way to.

Next up was Lee Cornes aka Paranoia who said he originally auditioned for the lead roles and like the other unsuccessful actors got the consolation prize of a guest appearance. Upon being asked if he’d gone out for a drink with Craig Ferguson’s Confidence, he said no because at the time they had a frosty relationship due to rumours that Craig was plagiarising other comics’ jokes. Lee said it was all very silly and he’s since apologised.

Interestingly, Lee is a qualified science teacher and carried on with that career alongside his media one, leading to surreal situations where his pupils would ask: “Sir? Were you on the telly last night?” “Yes.” “Are we on the telly now, sir?”

Someone asked a good question - what would Lister’s Paranoia be like now 33 years later? Lee would be willing to reprise the role but isn’t sure it would work as the original had a childish quality whereas he feels now the character would be a lot darker and less funny. Lee was both thoughtful and entertaining in his responses.

He was followed onstage by Hattie and Norman, who resolutely refused to rise to the bait of an audience member attempting to stir up a rivalry between them. That only works when one isn’t the nicest person you could meet.

A tactless audience member asked both if they’d watched “TPL” instead of directing the question at Norman. Luckily Hattie had seen it and particularly enjoyed the cat flap joke although she felt there was a little too much focus on the guest cast.

Norman didn’t really watch RD after he left but Hattie has seen Norman’s early episodes as he lent them to her back when she was originally cast as Hilly for research purposes. Bear in mind this was 1988 when they weren’t even available on VHS so presumably he recorded them off the TV.

Hattie confirmed with a sigh that she’s simply never been asked to return in any capacity: “That’s the short answer.” What the hell, I’ll say it one more time - Bring Back Hattie! One episode, that’s all I ask. As it stands, it’s starting to look like a pointed and deliberate snub which mystifies me.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Rob Grant and Paul Jackson. For obvious reasons they didn’t go into the current legal mess, opting instead to entertain the fans with the story of how they met and their early pre-RD work (Rob and Doug as freelance writers for Paul’s producer).

We saw some clips from their early shows including “Three Of A Kind” with Lenny Henry, Tracy Ullman and … later magician David Copperfield; apparently they all had the same agent and Paul took on David as a favour. For a 40 year old show it held up pretty well and was in much better sound and picture quality than older shows often are. “Carrott’s Lib” was just as funny.

It’s a bit hard to summarise but this session was entertaining and gripping. Rob still wants to write another RD novel and I believe there’s nothing actually stopping him as both he and Doug had an option to write a second solo novel. So we’ll see.

The final Q&A was Matthew Clark who was very informative and interesting, showing us numerous production stills from Series XII and “TPL” and talking us through them. There was a groan when time was called before he was finished.

By now time was running short and Amy and I went back to the room to pack and leave our luggage with reception before watching the start of “Dibbley Family Fortunes”. Since I knew I wouldn’t have time to watch it all, I instead nipped upstairs to Autographs with Lee and Ian, timing it perfectly as the queue had almost vanished.

Ian was still performing, drawing scornful attention to the fact that Lee had a longer queue: “Can you imagine all these people queueing to see Lee Cornes?!” It sounds rude out of context but he was clearly joking.

I decided to ask Lee what flavour the yogurt Paranoia eats was. He said it didn’t really taste of anything as it was the cheapest, nastiest canteen yogurt available and was also starting to curdle under the studio lights so eating it can’t have been much fun.

Since I now had about 15 minutes before I had to go, I caught a bit of Dibbley Family Fortunes, said goodbye to Amy, Lapsang and Barbs and then dashed off to catch the tram to the train station. Another great DJ.

#red dwarf

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sun-pluto · 3 years

Text

tagged by @ceyrann ty ♥️ this one looks very fun so >:D

Edit: original tag game by @nikolaiiy (sorry forgot to mention!!! 😓)

Why did you choose your url?

because it has a few meanings for me. 1) can be read as ‘sun to pluto’ bc i want all the planets in the url HAHA 2) one of my tightest aspects is sun sextile pluto 3) the sun and pluto contrast each other a lot and I just think that’s neat to put them together and connect them.

Any side blogs?

No, I have 2 accounts. One old one for aes, this blog is new and exclusively for astro/tarot.

How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since 2015. But I only got into astro in 2018.

Do you have a queue tag?

Nah, no need for it.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Honestly because I wanted to share what I learnt from astro and discuss it with people who were interested in it too! Also it was kind of in the moment and as a hobby.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I took the photo of the sunset, and I just thought it fits the theme and url. Plus there’s dark and light contrast! So yeah it fit c:

Why did you choose your header?

I also took the video and made it into a gif because I found it pretty!!! It was raining in the nature reserve when I videoed the hill under the shelter, super soothing to me so I put it as the header.

What post is your post with the most notes?

I don’t remember and idrc enough to check.

How many mutuals do you have?

about 80. they’re aes and/or astro/tarot blogs but sometimes we’re mutuals just because we vibe tgt HAHA

How many followers do you have?

yeah this is going to be a secret for now because I have something I wanna do >:D

How many people do you follow?

103.

Have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah, lots. it’s under #talking BFJFJF and I shitpost even more on my aes blog.

How often do you use Tumblr a day?

Oh boy basically every day but only a few minutes tbh unless I’m replying to people or reblogging! then that could take up to 2-3 hours. Mostly though Im rarely on any social platform because Im busy ;-;

Did you have another fight/argument with another blog?

Lol yes. On my aes blog too. Libra rising who 😭

How do you feel about the “you-need-to-reblog” post?

when it’s an important issue then yeah sure i’ll rb. Besides that if it’s about being cursed or having good luck or something inane that only tumblr ppl can relate to then idgaf.

Do you like tag games?

Normally yes! But sometimes it gets repetitive so I just like and thank the person who tags me but move on yknow? it’s nbd sometimes.

Do you like ask games?

Yup!!! I’m normally the one sliding into ppl’s asks asking them though HAHAHAHAHA

Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I find this question very funny. As if they don’t know it themselves LOL.

Do you have a Tumblr crush?

Also a very funny qn imo. I don’t invest enough energy into someone’s blog enough to have a crush, but I can like ppl’s vibes on sight very very much. It’s an intuition thing >;)

I’m tagging @kkoumiii @neptuniant @faiirina @ukiyowi @fallign @umepnnn @rattaemin @thegeminigod @the-wild-candy and anyone who wants to do this! I find these very fun HAHA

#m #talking #tag games

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tenseoyong · 3 years

Note

Honestly I feel like you’ve given up on writing lol it’s been forever since you’ve posted. and if you do it’s just some alice in borderland stuff. Seems like you’ve lost focus or something like if you’re done can you just say that so we don’t have to sit here and wait to see our request that you’re never going to do??

i’ve been thinking about this all day and all the ways i want to respond but I’ve decided to be a lot less mean and aggressive than i really want to be

so dear anon, let me tell you how my week plays out.

monday-friday i get up at 4:30am. eat something real quick, feed the cats, get dressed, and work in a factory that’s understaffed and over worked from 6am-2pm. half an our drive home. i shower and get the dirt, paint, oil and sweat off. maybe find something to eat for dinner. cook lunch for the next day. feed the cats again, change/fill their water, clean their litter, play with and cuddle them. then i spend a hour or two sitting and taking with my grandma. and i get on here and make sure there’s some kind of posts in my queue so my blog isn’t completely abandoned, reply to a few asks so it doesn’t feel like i’m ignoring my followers, and read a few fics that i like that get updated. i might be able to squeeze in a few youtube videos here or there, and maybe watch a quarter of a show i’ve been wanting to watch for months until i have to go to bed about 6-8pm.

sometimes, like this week, and the following week, i work on saturdays. and i’ll get up at 2:30am, do my usual morning routine, and head to work. if i’m really lucky, we only have a couple things to run and we can speed through them and go home. shower routine repeats. eating routine repeats. if i have the energy, i get to go out and do laundry. pay bills. clean my room/house up, rest a little bit and catch up on some sleep.

sundays are spent similarly. i clean. go shopping for the week’s needs. make sure i have clean work cloths. food. my lunch is packed and ready to go. fill up my tank. sit with my nana for a bit. maybe order something easy to eat. and get ready for another shit work week.

and sprinkle in some insomnia and depression, for a little bit of spice.

i don’t get paid to write. i like doing it. i like writing. i like kpop. mix them together, and i like it even more. i like connecting with my followers and making someone happy by doing their requests and i like gushing over concepts with followers. i like seeing new people like my writings and join my follower list. it makes me happy.

but i don’t always have the time or energy to mass churn out posts.

there’s roughly 50-80+ requests/things to do still in my drafts that need worked on. but, i’m extremely tired. i’m having really bad writers block—even if i manage to churn out a quick post if i have 20 minutes to spare, it’s going to be bad. and i don’t want to make bad content either. i have posted over 300 requests. nearly consecutively. day after day, the queue has been nice and neatly organized so not a day goes by without a new upload, another request fulfilled.

but you know what? sometimes, i want to spend my weekends with my friends. and go places. and do stuff. sometimes i want to spend my weekend finally watching the one show i’ve been dying to watch for months and months (aib) and never have the time. sometimes i don’t want to spend my summer days cooped up inside writing.

sorry to disappoint you, random person on the internet that can’t be bothered to understand writers are people with other hobbies, wants, schedules, and lives. maybe take whichever request that was yours and find another, more active writer. i do hope you can forgive me for neglecting you so.

for everyone else, thank you for being so patient with me and my crappy upload schedule and writers block. i’ve got the queue set up to return to our normal scheduled program on july 1st. thanks for waiting.

#took a lot of the swearing out #answered;#anonymous;

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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

Text

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

#Not a Caption #Requests #Request

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rtf-j · 4 years

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Being a Gun Salesman in 2020

I haven’t been very active lately and to be honest it’s because I’m fatigued and gun posting just reminds me of work now, but this year has been unlike any other so I felt I needed to share what it’s been like being a gun salesman in 2020 - between COVID-19, riots, protests, and the upcoming election, it’s been pure insanity.

The year started off to a decent start sales-wise, we had the usual post-holiday I-got-christmas-money spending, followed by the traditional post-tax-return impulse buying. I knew with the election coming up towards the end of the year we’d see a pretty large increase in sales around then, but hadn’t expected 2020 to be anything too crazy for the firearms industry.

Then COVID-19 became a global event.

I’ll never forget the first insane day of sales we had because it fell on Friday the 13th back in March, right around the same time businesses began having to close and people started having to go on unemployment, and unfortunately, on the day Breonna Taylor was murdered. We had a never ending stream of new customers walking in wanting to buy something for home defense, along with our regulars who were just trying to check items off their wishlist before inventory was gone. To say we had to put little effort into making sales is an understatement - everyone thought as people went on unemployment and business shuttered that immediately they would turn to theft and violence, and whatever they could use to defend themselves they wanted it and all the ammo to go with it immediately.

Depending on how many used/estate/trade-in firearms we have we would usually have around 100-130 handguns in stock, and around 80 long guns, along with a decent selection of ammunition. At one point in March we had 5 handguns left on the shelf and about 25 long guns left, all of which were only there because they were either collectible in nature or a dedicated hunting/sporting firearm. Any modern defensive firearm was gone, and all common ammunition calibers were out of stock as well. Even things like magazines, holsters, cleaning kits, safety gear, parts, etc. were getting bought up.

The good news at least was at this point we could still restock inventory. Shipping times were taking much longer than usual since every shop in the nation was hammering distributors with orders, but we were still able to order in product and re-fill the shelves in a reasonable timeframe. By about mid-May sales had slowed back down to around near-normal as we ran out of stuff to sell and everyone began to adjust to living in COVID-19 America. After our first dead week of sales in awhile I thought we were through the worst of it and things would return to normal.

Then George Floyd was murdered.

Being located within a reasonable distance of downtown Portland put us right near the heart of protests and riots that would eventually draw global attention, and along with it came the panic buying. Business owners, residents concerned about their safety, people arming themself for what they believed was the start of a conflict - they all came in droves. What little inventory we were getting in was leaving near immediately, and with the entire nation seeing similar events happening in major cities the supply chain was gutted quickly.

It’s mid-September now and while we still see the high demand for firearms, the reality is we’re running out of things to sell and unable to restock easily. We used to be able to reserve small stashes of 9mm/5.56 in the back for customers to pick up with firearms, but that’s all long gone now with no ETA on when we’ll get more. Companies we’ve reached out to about becoming new dealers with or backordering some calibers have quoted us Q2 of 2021 on new orders. The few new defensive firearms we do restock sell within a day or two of being put on the shelf, and we’re definitely selling more than we are restocking.

COVID-19 has limited the importation and production of firearms/ammunition so badly that some many I had backordered back in April have still not been filled, and although I check daily on the multiple distributors we use they are getting such limited inventory that everything is being allocated out and not even put on their websites. I just have to hope there is anything good on an allocation email and that I reply quickly enough to get it, or that I’ll get a shipping notice from one of the many backorders we have pending.

The bigger concern for me now has become the general unpleasantness that has spread to nearly everyone. Customers don’t understand why we’re out of all the calibers or firearms they’re looking for and get angry when we can’t just order more for them. First time buyers get frustrated when their driver’s license is expired, or has an old out of state address, and they need something else for us to use to submit their background check. Background check queues that used to take minutes or hours on a busy day to clear now take weeks since over 5,000 people are in line and even though we communicate that, people still impatiently call us every few days to check where they are in line. The first time buyer who didn’t give a damn about the Second Amendment until now is suddenly an expert on their rights and is furious at us because the State Police put a Delay or Denial on their background check.

Don’t even get me started on the masks.

We’ve had more crazies coming out of the woodworks in the last 6 months than the entire 8 years I’ve been in this industry. Between multiple Delays and Denials on a weekly basis, combined with having had to ask a few customers to leave because we didn’t feel confident selling them a firearm or they were rude to our staff, it’s been stressful for the entire crew. One of our regulars who works nights and commutes right by the shop informed us he’d seen two cars parked outside the shop around 3am one morning, and after reviewing the security camera footage, we were definitely being cased. Thankfully all of our firearms are locked up in safes at night, so it’s clear to anyone looking in the windows that there’s nothing they can easily steal if they do get in, but it’s still concerning that someone might try anyway.

With the Presidential election being about two months out I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the insanity, not by a long shot. They say an armed society is a polite society, but America is feeling less and less like a functioning society, and more and more people are forgetting how to be polite.

#gunblr #rant #2020 #covid19 #sell the metal #gunshop #work #oregon #portland

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tuesdayisfordancing · 3 years

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I posted 1,177 times in 2021

248 posts created (21%)

929 posts reblogged (79%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.7 posts.

I added 684 tags in 2021

#this queue shall pass - 188 posts

#jimmy kent - 133 posts

#thomas barrow - 121 posts

#thommy - 80 posts

#barris - 40 posts

#today for queue - 32 posts

#plot bunnies - 27 posts

#downton abbey - 22 posts

#2.01 - 22 posts

#mary crawley - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#does he try to remain neutral does he say well that’d make a splash and he doesn’t quite mean it as encouragement but he doesn’t quite not

My Top Posts in 2021

Thomas figures out that Andy can’t read because half his brain at all times is assessing others for weakness and that doesn’t go away just because he’s decided to be nice now.

57 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 22:19:39 GMT

Can you recommend any Thomas fic whump? Ty 💕

I sure can! Some I particularly enjoyed:

Downton Noir by Jolie_Black is technically more angst than whump on Thomas's part IIRC but I suspect it will still fit the bill extremely well. Barris.

Not Much of An Everyone (To Get On With) also by Jolie_Black has both whump and angst for Thomas. Gen.

A Long Road by ThisThatAndTheOther is, again, angsty and whumpy. Gen. Note: portrays Jimmy as not a friend to Thomas. It's a minor part of the story, but given my Jimmy adoring self is reccing it I figured a head's up is in order.

Forever Tuesday Morning by irrationalgame is Jimmy angst with a time loop in which various calamities befall Thomas. Thommy.

Rearview Mirror by irrationalgame (note: Philip is a Bad Guy here) Thommy

The Wolves of the Abbey by drcalvin is a WIP but it's very compelling! Thomas/Matthew

We act according to what we believe (ourselves to be) by caeli1701 Thommy with some mutual rescuing

Infuriating and Unbelievable by Infinity2020 Barris, modern au (bad guy Philip in this one too)

others that cater slightly less to my personal taste but are very whumpy and enjoyed by many:

Unwanted Guests by WolfenM

and most of what RailMeBarrow writes is whump!

EDIT: can’t believe I forgot Dementian, possibly the fandom’s most famous writer of whump! There is a massive amount of whump in I think every fic she’s written.

I'm sure I'm still missing or forgetting other gems, so do chime in followers and passersby with your own faves!

61 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 06:37:14 GMT

Oh that reminds me! I have a very important question for the fandom: was Thomas Barrow a teacher’s pet in school? ever, just for some teachers, for most of his teachers, just for one?

74 notes • Posted 2021-07-28 05:26:00 GMT

In Season 1, O’Brien says “Mr. Carson lets you do that?” re: looking after the clocks, implying that a footman normally wouldn’t. Then in Season 3 the job is handed to Jimmy without any sort of instruction until O’Brien tells him to ask Thomas. I feel like this implies that Carson got used to Thomas doing the job to the point where he internalized it as “something the footmen do” where before it wasn’t, which I think is a telling example of both Carson and Thomas at work. Only thing I’m not sure of is who would have handled the task before Thomas came along, especially since it’s apparently significantly beneath an underbutler.

82 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 17:08:08 GMT

I have mixed feelings about how they showed Thomas visibly falling to pieces in the trenches.

On the one hand, I appreciate the sort of implied arc where in the past two years he’s done well enough at his job to be promoted to Corporal, but he’s currently at the very last frayed fibers on the very end of his rope. His blank servant face is entirely gone, he’s not putting on a good show, that’s hugely evocative given the way he held himself throughout season 1. I’m glad they showed some of the effect of it all on him.

On the other hand, I feel like there’s this - implicit comparison? Between Matthew being shown bravely striding through the battlefield like the Brave Noble Soldier he is and Thomas (who, let’s be real, some not insignificant part of the audience perceives as cowardly and craven for getting his hand shot) being primarily shown falling apart, having extra rations, and trying to get home. That blink-and-you-miss-it moment of him checking the pulse of the man on the dropped stretcher was powerful to me, and I don’t know that I would want to trade it for a shot of him Getting Someone Safely Back or doing Vital First Aid or some other Successful Medic-ing, but I would really really have liked to see something like that too. Preferably with him just as visibly In Pieces as the other scenes, because competence =/= Nobly Striding.

98 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 12:58:34 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

Lol at Jimmy being my top tag because for a long time I had at least one follower with him blacklisted.

EDIT: whymst did this post to my main???

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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xcziel · 3 years

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get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

#xcedit #is my only like 'me' tag #tag game #long post #i wanna do one of these with more unusual questions but not like those themed ones ...#tell me if the cut doesn't work i'm still not used to having them on mobile!

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seijurosempress · 4 years

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@shoichee I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest.

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario:

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten. However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand.

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry.

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take.

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences.

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

#matchup request #[🏀].asks #i meant to have this ready early today #but i may or may not have fallen asleep #sorry #i'm slow #it really took me a whole ass week to write #but to be fair #i struggled a bit with your mans #bc I went strictly off what I could gather from the anime #which are CRUMBS

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theculturedmarxist · 4 years

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@expatiating

>Literally anyone who lived in a communist or socialist regime: it was terrible..... 16 year old white girl on tumblr: yeah but that wasn’t real communism :///

You mean anyone like this, you stupid fucking asshole?

Oppressive and grey? No, growing up under communism was the happiest time of my life

When people ask me what it was like growing up behind the Iron Curtain in Hungary in the Seventies and Eighties, most expect to hear tales of secret police, bread queues and other nasty manifestations of life in a one-party state.

They are invariably disappointed when I explain that the reality was quite different, and communist Hungary, far from being hell on earth, was in fact, rather a fun place to live.

The communists provided everyone with guaranteed employment, good education and free healthcare. Violent crime was virtually non-existent.

But perhaps the best thing of all was the overriding sense of camaraderie, a spirit lacking in my adopted Britain and, indeed, whenever I go back to Hungary today. People trusted one another, and what we had we shared.

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Learn from Cuba, Says World Bank

The island's economy, which suffered devastating losses in production after the Soviet Union withdrew its aid, especially its oil supplies, a decade ago, has yet to fully recover. Annual economic growth, fuelled in part by a growing tourism industry and limited foreign investment, has been halting and, for the most part, anaemic.

Moreover, its economic policies are generally anathema to the Bank. The government controls virtually the entire economy, permitting private entrepreneurs the tiniest of spaces. It heavily subsidises virtually all staples and commodities; its currency is not convertible to anything. It retains tight control over all foreign investment, and often changes the rules abruptly and for political reasons.

At the same time, however, its record of social achievement has not only been sustained; it's been enhanced, according to the WDI.

It has reduced its infant mortality rate from 11 per 1,000 births in 1990 to seven in 1999, which places it firmly in the ranks of the western industrialised nations. It now stands at six, according to Jo Ritzen, the Bank's Vice President for Development Policy who visited Cuba privately several months ago to see for himself.

By comparison, the infant mortality rate for Argentina stood at 18 in 1999; Chile's was down to ten; and Costa Rica, 12. For the entire Latin American and Caribbean region as a whole, the average was 30 in 1999.

Similarly, the mortality rate for children under five in Cuba has fallen from 13 to eight per thousand over the decade. That figure is 50 percent lower than the rate in Chile, the Latin American country closest to Cuba's achievement. For the region as a whole, the average was 38 in 1999.

"Six for every 1,000 in infant mortality - the same level as Spain - is just unbelievable," according to Ritzen, a former education minister in the Netherlands. "You observe it, and so you see that Cuba has done exceedingly well in the human development area."

Indeed, in Ritzen's own field the figures tell much the same story. Net primary enrolment for both girls and boys reached 100 percent in 1997, up from 92 percent in 1990. That was as high as most developed nations, higher even than the US rate and well above 80-90 percent rates achieved by the most advanced Latin American countries.

"Even in education performance, Cuba's is very much in tune with the developed world, and much higher than schools in, say, Argentina, Brazil, or Chile."

It is no wonder, in some ways. Public spending on education in Cuba amounts to about 6.7 percent of gross national income, twice the proportion in other Latin America and Caribbean countries and even Singapore.

There were 12 primary pupils for every Cuban teacher in 1997, a ratio that ranked with Sweden, rather than any other developing country. The Latin American and East Asian average was twice as high at 25 to one.

The average youth (ages 15-24) illiteracy rate in Latin America and the Caribbean stands at seven percent. In Cuba, the rate is zero. In Latin America, where the average is seven percent, only Uruguay approaches that achievement, with one percent youth illiteracy.

"Cuba managed to reduce illiteracy from 40 percent to zero within ten years," said Ritzen. "If Cuba shows that it is possible, it shifts the burden of proof to those who say it's not possible."

Similarly, Cuba devoted 9.1 percent of its gross domestic product (GDP) during the 1990s to health care, roughly equivalent to Canada's rate. Its ratio of 5.3 doctors per 1,000 people was the highest in the world.

The question that these statistics pose, of course, is whether the Cuban experience can be replicated. The answer given here is probably not.

"What does it is the incredible dedication," according to Wayne Smith, who was head of the US Interests Section in Havana in the late 1970s and early 1980s and has travelled to the island many times since. "Doctors in Cuba can make more driving cabs and working in hotels, but they don't. They're just very dedicated," he said.

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This amazing video and documentary, produced by Neighbor Democracy, details the evolving communal organs within the Rojava Revolution, from security to health care.

This 40 minute video is an in-depth look into the inner workings of the commune system of Rojava and how they work in practice. Rojava is the colloquial name for the Democratic Federation of Northern Syria (DFNS), a multi-ethnic, pluralist, women’s liberationist, and radically democratic autonomous zone that has grown out of the context of the Syrian Civil War. While there is frequent and thorough reporting on the military aspects of the Revolution in Rojava, especially their fight against Daesh (ISIS) and the Turkish State, the social revolution as it relates to the everyday lives of the people living there is rarely given anything more than a cursory overview, even in radical circles.

This video is one attempt to make up for that gap in easily digestible information about the way the day-to-day autonomous organizing affects daily life in Rojava. It also closes with a call for people in the US and elsewhere to build communes along similar lines, while discussing some possible contextual considerations specific to North America.

The communes in the DFNS are birthed out of tireless organizing by everyday people, predominately Kurdish women, in an effort that started clandestinely in the days of the Regime, but has since led to structures that could fill the power vacuum left in the war. The people of the DFNS are working out in practice through trial-and-error the culmination of 40 years of theoretical and practical knowledge built through the Kurdish struggle, and most thoroughly laid out by the imprisoned PKK leader, Abdullah Ocalan.

The communes have many similarities to the neighborhood assemblies that were the focus of the late American communalist Murray Bookchin, who was an inspiration for Ocalan. There are an estimated 4,000 communes in Rojava today, run through direct democracy of all the residents (50-150 families). The work of the commune is divided up into committees which anyone can join. The most common committees are explored in-depth in this video, and their timestamps can be found below. Each committee covered in the video can be found in its own short clip on the Neighbor Democracy channel so that these short, easy-to-digest videos can me shared in discussions about specific topics relating to communal approaches to various aspects of life.

Marinaleda: Will 'free homes' solve Spain's evictions crisis?

In the wake of Spain's property crash, hundreds of thousands of homes have been repossessed. While one regional government says it will seize repossessed properties from the banks, a little town is doing away with mortgages altogether.

In Marinaleda, residents like 42-year-old father-of-three, David Gonzalez Molina, are building their own homes.

While he burrows with a pneumatic drill into the earth, David nonchalantly says it "should take a couple of years".

However, when his new house is finished he will have paid "absolutely nothing".

Free bricks and mortar

The town hall in this small, aesthetically unremarkable town an hour-and-a-bit east of Seville, has given David 190 sq m (2,000 sq ft) of land.

He and others are only eligible after they have been registered residents of Marinaleda for at least two years.

The bricks and mortar are also a gift, this time from the regional government of Andalusia.

Only once his home is finished will he start paying 15 euros (£13) a month, to the regional government, to refund the cost of other building materials.

Of course, most people do not know how to build a house, so the town hall in Marinaleda throws in some expertise.

It employs several professional builders and plumbers, a couple of whom work alongside David, to help him construct his house.

HOMAGE TO CATALONIA

This was in late December 1936, less than seven months ago as I write, and yet it is a period that has already receded into enormous distance. Later events have obliterated it much more completely than they have obliterated 1935, or 1905, for that matter. I had come to Spain with some notion of writing newspaper articles, but I had joined the militia almost immediately, because at that time and in that atmosphere it seemed the only conceivable thing to do. The Anarchists were still in virtual control of Catalonia and the revolution was still in full swing. To anyone who had been there since the beginning it probably seemed even in December or January that the revolutionary period was ending; but when one came straight from England the aspect of Barcelona was something startling and overwhelming. It was the first time that I had ever been in a town where the working class was in the saddle. Practically every building of any size had been seized by the workers and was draped with red flags or with the red and black flag of the Anarchists; every wall was scrawled with the hammer and sickle and with the initials of the revolutionary parties; almost every church had been gutted and its images burnt. Churches here and there were being systematically demolished by gangs of workmen. Every shop and café had an inscription saying that it had been collectivized; even the bootblacks had been collectivized and their boxes painted red and black. Waiters and shop-walkers looked you in the face and treated you as an equal. Servile and even ceremonial forms of speech had temporarily disappeared. Nobody said ‘Señior’ or ‘Don’ or even ‘Usted’; everyone called everyone else ‘Comrade’ and ‘Thou’, and said ‘Salud!’ instead of ‘Buenos dias’. Tipping was forbidden by law; almost my first experience was receiving a lecture from a hotel manager for trying to tip a lift-boy. There were no private motor-cars, they had all been commandeered, and all the trams and taxis and much of the other transport were painted red and black. The revolutionary posters were everywhere, flaming from the walls in clean reds and blues that made the few remaining advertisements look like daubs of mud. Down the Ramblas, the wide central artery of the town where crowds of people streamed constantly to and fro, the loudspeakers were bellowing revolutionary songs all day and far into the night. And it was the aspect of the crowds that was the queerest thing of all. In outward appearance it was a town in which the wealthy classes had practically ceased to exist. Except for a small number of women and foreigners there were no ‘well-dressed’ people at all. Practically everyone wore rough working-class clothes, or blue overalls, or some variant of the militia uniform. All this was queer and moving. There was much in it that I did not understand, in some ways I did not even like it, but I recognized it immediately as a state of affairs worth fighting for. Also I believed that things were as they appeared, that this was really a workers' State and that the entire bourgeoisie had either fled, been killed, or voluntarily come over to the workers' side; I did not realize that great numbers of well-to-do bourgeois were simply lying low and disguising themselves as proletarians for the time being.

Together with all this there was something of the evil atmosphere of war. The town had a gaunt untidy look, roads and buildings were in poor repair, the streets at night were dimly lit for fear of air-raids, the shops were mostly shabby and half-empty. Meat was scarce and milk practically unobtainable, there was a shortage of coal, sugar, and petrol, and a really serious shortage of bread. Even at this period the bread-queues were often hundreds of yards long. Yet so far as one could judge the people were contented and hopeful. There was no unemployment, and the price of living was still extremely low; you saw very few conspicuously destitute people, and no beggars except the gipsies. Above all, there was a belief in the revolution and the future, a feeling of having suddenly emerged into an era of equality and freedom. Human beings were trying to behave as human beings and not as cogs in the capitalist machine. In the barbers' shops were Anarchist notices (the barbers were mostly Anarchists) solemnly explaining that barbers were no longer slaves. In the streets were coloured posters appealing to prostitutes to stop being prostitutes. To anyone from the hard-boiled, sneering civilization of the English-speaking races there was something rather pathetic in the literalness with which these idealistic Spaniards took the hackneyed phrases of revolution. At that time revolutionary ballads of the naivest kind, all about proletarian brotherhood and the wickedness of Mussolini, were being sold on the streets for a few centimes each. I have often seen an illiterate militiaman buy one of these ballads, laboriously spell out the words, and then, when he had got the hang of it, begin singing it to an appropriate tune.

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Feel free to unfuck yourself you class cuck.

#communism #socialism #anarchism #you're a fucking moron and should shut your fucking mouth

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