#since the nge one took off....

[devilsrecreation]

Thinking about my Outlands spinoff idea again and the black monsters (or “two-leggers” as everyone likes to call them) are EASILY the biggest threat to the Outlanders since they represent poaching and other illegal activities involving wildlife. So I thought I’d make a list of times the Outlanders (feat Makuu) had run-ins with them

Disaimer: TW for mentioned animal death and implied darker themes

- Chungu, Cheezi, Goioi, Tamka, and Nduli being kidnapped one by one to be sold to zoos. I’m not gonna go into TOO much detail about their time as prisoners since I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but let’s just say it’s not fun

- I will say that Cheezi goes absolutely APESHIT the minute one of their captors messes with Nduli. The rest are mad enough but Cheezi goes feral

- Jasiri, Janja, Reirei, Kiburi, and Sumu battling the same poachers who took their friends (and winning, courtesy of Sumu stinging them so everyone could get away)

- I know I said Sumu’s mom, Nge, was dead by that time, but I wanna give Sumu more of a happy ending. Instead, she’s miraculously alive as a wild caught pet used for scare. The most they did is clip her stinger off so she won’t kill anyone. It’s okay though cuz not only does Sumu help her escape, but he promises to hunt some food for her like a good son :)

- Njano and Hodari getting kidnapped to be a part of The Reptile Pet Trade

- As stated before, Makuu, Kiburi, Kenge, Shupavu, and Kinyonga distract/attack the poachers while Hodari and Njano make a run for it

- Hodari also helps other animals escape in the process :)

- While being trapped, Njano begins to suffer from zoonosis (it fortunately wears off the minute the cage is open but it still freaks Hodari out)

- Remember how I said that Kenge and Hodari teamed up to save Makuu and Kiburi once? I like to think the poachers are to blame for that. They don’t fight the monsters this time (as helping their croc friends is more important), but I like to think one of them makes eye contact with Kenge and Kenge manages to scare them off

- Kujivunia dies at the hands of the poachers. She knew they were bad news so she told Makuu (who was probably a teen at the time) to get Pua, but when they came back, it was too late

- Kiburi and Ucheshi end up fighting back to back to fend them off as part of their Trail to Udugu

- I have a feeling they would be the antagonists in “Kifamilia Means Family”. They’d see Chungu all alone and try to capture him in order to be given to a shitty zoo.

- I like to think Chungu would be oblivious at first, but throughout the story, he learns the dangers of the two-leggers and actively tries to avoid them while on his quest

- Bonus if, like Kion with the Season 3 villains, Chungu is the reason the poachers became a threat in the first place since he inadvertently leads them to the Outlands

[kismetconstellations]

@sockdooe You absolutely do not need to apologize, ever, for "dumping" rants in the tags of my posts. I happen to love reading everything you have to say, and look forward to these "dumps", every time I see your username pop up in my notifications.

People are allowed to write and headcanon whatever they want (Looking at you, "Black Paladin Lance" AUs), but, it's concrete, indisputable canon that the Black Lion and Shiro had the strongest bond of any human Paladin and Lion pair.

Yes, Lance was the first to have a connection with a Lion, and the Red Lion came to Keith's aid of her own volition, just as the Green Lion likewise rushed to protect Pidge. That in no way negates just how much focus was given to building Shiro's bond with Black, and establishing him as the Paladin she chose, because they understood, valued, and trusted one another. Sure, the Black Lion absorbing Shiro into her inner quintessence might very well be a reference to the episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion where Shinji Ikari's body is similarly absorbed by his EVA Unit. Goodness knows there are plenty references to NGE and other anime scattered about. Shiro's Season One/Two design seems to have taken some heavy inspiration from Guts- shock of stress-induced white on a head of black hair, strong, square jaw, prosthetic arm, distinct lateral scar across the bridge of his nose-

-and he was originally intended to marry Roy Focker.

Nevertheless, it speaks volumes that this ancient, sentient force looked at a traumatized, battle-scarred, yet still extraordinarily gentle man with blood on his hands, sins to atone for, and feelings of self-loathing and desperation to prove himself worthy, prove that every fight in the Arena and every life he took to keep himself alive, every precious second of time he was able to steal back from Death's inescapable grip meant something if he can do good with all of the evil that has touched him, permeating the very essence of his being, and decided Him. He's the one I want. To the point of holding onto whatever she could of him after he died.

And, as much as this show tried to undermine that with Keith and the Clone Shiro being able to pilot the Black Lion, and later showing the previous Paladins also being preserved by their Lions' quintessence- inside of Haggar/Honerva's mind, despite the fact that she killed them outside of their Lions, because Season Eight's writing is an absolute convoluted mess- it will never, ever diminish the fact that Shiro is so special, not one, but two magic-powered sentient spacecrafts adopted him as their Person.

(I do wish the Atlas's interior wasn't so dark, dreary, and dull, though. They couldn't have given this poor man a ship with white walls and turquoise accents, or something? It had to be dingy gray and Galaxy Garrison orange?)

Even if we ignore the fans who hyperfocus on Lance and Keith, determined to turn them into the ultimate tragic heroes/victims of the universe/hyper-competent badasses/supremely empathetic Hearts of the Team (sorry, but that title belongs to Hunk. It will always belong to Hunk)/discount Shiros, the treatment of Shiro by the fandom has, since its inception, been dubious, at best.

He's a cheerleader for Keith/Lance. He's an obstacle to Keith/Lance, so we'll pair him off with Allura. No, wait, never mind, he's twenty-five, and therefore, absolutely off limits to every single one of the Paladins, and Allura, as a potential romantic partner, and anyone even slightly okay with one of these ships deserves to be harassed and indiscriminately labeled a "pedophile", including Shiro's voice actor. (We'll completely overlook, of course, that Keith is also a legal adult, and shipping him with any of the younger Paladins should, by those standards, be verboten, as well.) Shiro is the "Token Gay" who we'll cast aside in favor of Keith and/or Lance, but throw him the meagerest scrap of bone in the form of pairing him off with either the (dead) man who canonically ended their relationship on poor terms because he couldn't handle the emotional strain of another one of Shiro's medical scares, or the piece of glorified set dressing with no personality to speak of who Shiro barely interacts with, and whose name is never once spoken onscreen. Wait, no, Shiro's actually not gay enough (because he's not a mincing, flamboyant stereotype?), so we'll complain that we were "queerbaited" over a ship featuring a canonically heterosexual teenage boy that was never, ever going to happen.

And, the fans who do gravitate toward Shiro tend to sexualize him to the extent of discarding- or fetishizing- his trauma to get him naked and railing (in the most Out of Character portrayal imaginable), or being railed by, their character of choice as swiftly as possible.

Disgusting.

I can only hazard a guess that Shiro has been afflicted with so much extensive, irreversible trauma, fanfiction authors who are simply writing for fun with the intention of living vicariously through these characters don't want to have to confront the ugly, less than titillating reality of that trauma, or so much as touch it with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole. So, they choose to pretend it doesn't exist, or gloss over it, in exactly the manner the show, itself, does. This includes his illness, which, if we take Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos at their word, was written into Shiro's character from conception, along with his homosexual identity.

"I think a lot of his backstory was created independently, even from his sexual orientation, ‘cause that was just a part of who he was but it wasn’t necessarily a discovery moment. So the vast majority of the conversations of his backstory were around figuring out what else is there, the illness and those aspects of it. Him being gay was just something that we had always wanted to do with him from early on."

And, in the case of fans who try to turn their favorites into Shiro, which is one of the strangest, most inexplicable phenomena I have ever encountered in all of my years on the internet in fandom spaces- why designate a character as your favorite if you desperately need them to be someone else, instead of accepting them as they are?- they have to be slapping a prosthetic on those characters purely for the cheap angsty aesthetic.

Which is to be expected when people steal distinct traits from another character to apply to their favorite like a patchy, uneven coat of paint layered over top of what was already there. They don't understand why that other character had those traits, to begin with. They, presumably, see Shiro with his scars, his personal history with Sendak, Haggar, and Zarkon, the three most powerful and intimidating villains in the series, the physical and emotional evidence of the experimentation and torture Shiro was subjected to while in captivity, his relationship with the Black Lion, his irreplaceable presence and role on the team as a firm but gentle guiding light, and decide, "That's unique and makes him stand out as someone special and important. My favorite deserves to be special and important, too! So, I'll take what he has and give it to them!" It really is like a kid wanting another kid's favorite toy because their own isn't "good enough", and I can honestly say I've never seen this sort of behavior in any other fandom. If Lance and Keith fans, as they tend to be the prime perpetrators, recognize that Shiro has innate narrative significance and desirable qualities, why not adopt him as their favorite, instead?

It all comes back to the fanbase's rampant ageism, the ages of the fans, themselves (you'd have to be pretty darned young to think a twenty-five year-old is old enough to be a teenager's "dad"), and, I think, the fact that Shiro is a conventionally masculine gay man, rather than a skinny twink, so it isn't as easy to project more effeminate characteristics onto him.

Lance uses skin masks and moisturizes.

Shiro either doesn't sleep, or wakes up inhumanly early to do push-ups.

Characters with more reserved, subdued personalities also tend to be cast aside and written off as "boring" in favor of overtly loud, flashy, mostly comic relief ones. There is nothing wrong with preferring one or the other, and both have their place, especially in stories aimed at child audiences where a bit of levity is necessary after watching characters go through high stakes and intense emotional strain. But, it has always been my opinion that people who overlook the guarded, noble, self-sacrificing leaders who voluntarily bear the weight of the world on their shoulders have poor taste. That sort of frank dismissal demonstrates an unwillingness to peer past the supposedly "uninteresting" surface and see what makes these characters pillars of leadership, virtue, and heroism, in the first place.

Like reaching out to a kid the rest of the world has given up on, and offering him a helping hand.

Like being willing to paint yourself as a bloodthirsty savage and attacking a scared friend to keep him out of a fight where he surely would have lost his life.

Like offering encouragement, guidance, and support to the people in your care, so they come to trust you as a friend, and confidante.

And, never hesitating to protect someone who can't protect themselves.

Takashi Shirogane is beautiful, inside and out.

The "fans" who don't understand or appreciate that, and especially the ones who think this show could have possibly stood to benefit from killing him permanently, have objectively rancid opinions. And, should almost definitely steer clear of trauma survivors, because they fail to understand what Shiro means to us as a representation of the kind of person we all could be if we're willing to never give up on ourselves, and try.

Let him be showered in all of the tender forehead kisses, get to sleep on the comfiest plush mattress, and be surrounded by an army of soft and fluffy plushies. Forever and ever.

[p3ta]

gotta send Ryoji Mochizuki

Thanks for the ask! Hope your day's going well, fellow Ryoji enjoyer.

Spoilers below for P2, P3, P4, and P5R.

Send me one of these here!

First, I want to give some thoughts on his character as a whole. For the certain type of character he is (doomed, remorseful harbinger), Ryoji Mochizuki is perfect. I don't think there's a better Persona twist than his reveal as the the Appriser/Death, the thirteenth Arcana Shadow. Just because a twist is easy to see coming doesn't make it less impactful, and I particularly enjoy the way Persona 3 distills information to the player in allotments. Even knowing that, Ryoji managed to surprise me with how much more he was. And fittingly, a lot of Ryoji's characterization bounces back to the P3 Hero, and vice versa.

On top of that, Nyx Avatar is my favorite final boss in the entire Persona series and unsettled me out the first time. I'd still say that Nyx Avatar causes me more fear than the Reaper, who I'd comparatively describe as inciting panic rather than fear.

Ryoji is frequently compared to Kaworu from Neon Genesis Evangelion (NGE), and, well. Yeah. I believe I read that in a developer interview that the P3 dev team deliberately took inspiration from NGE but I'm unable to find a source at hand, so don't quote me on that. Between the two, I prefer Ryoji. He is the strongest out of the character type for me.

favorite thing about them

His layers! Ryoji is one of those late game characters who comes in and recontextualizes all the information you've learned thus far. It's why I love watching the Dictionary update throughout a playthrough. I understand why people are put off by the way he's introduced as a serial flirt, but Reload made it much more textually clear that this isn't his true personality, nor his intentions. Ryoji is proto-Teddie (Japanese Teddie, anyway); a fully formed individual who sprang into existence seeking connection. However, where Teddie's isolation and lack of identity are his defining characteristics, Ryoji's are moored in how connected he is with P3 Hero.

Ryoji ultimately only exists because of that connection, that little bit of humanity he's been given, but that's also what prevents him from being fully human. He's had a role to play since his inception, and he can't avoid that even with his newfound connections.

Ryoji's present throughout the entire story. You've got Pharos at the very beginning with the contract running errands for the Velvet Room (I like it more and more that I think about it. Picture Elizabeth or Igor having to explain to this terrifying child what he has to say. Or maybe he knew what to say all along! He has been waiting ten years), Thanatos tearing himself out of Orpheus (by far the best Persona awakening in the series and a textual highlight for what an alien force he is), and a crucial lynchpin event for Yukari's backstory, Mitsuru's backstory, as well as the crucial event for Aigis and P3 Hero.

There is no version of Persona 3 without Ryoji and I'm all the happier for it. Genuinely, if something's confusing with P3's story, there's 90% chance the answer is Ryoji or one of his many numerous forms. The remaining 10% is the Kirijo Group. That said, we don't get a lot of time with Ryoji. Ultimately, he's a part of P3 Hero and you're left to extrapolate exactly how much of each other you believe they've influenced.

Sogabe, the P3 & P4 mangaka, chose to highlight how similar Ryoji and P3 Hero look. I consider it an essential element of their relationship together.

least favorite thing about them

It'd be cheating to say nothing, wouldn't it? I'd say that his design is easy to mock and hard to get right in fanart. Between Ryoji's forehead and very Axel Kingdom Hearts approach towards long limbs – and legs in specific – the movies did not help with this. I've read reviews saying how the higher budget allowed for the characters to be more consistently on model, and thus look better, but I fervently disagree. That boy is mostly leg. Late 00s and early 10s anime art Looked Like That, though. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a soft spot for some of it.

But I love how Ryoji looks and wouldn't change it for the world. Silly slick-backed hair boy. It is funny how whenever Persona wants a villain with sympathetic qualities, they slick back the protagonist's hair (Philemon and Maruki come to mind).

Reload fixed ("fixed") this anyway but making him much fluffier in his portraits and giving his skin some color! He's achingly soft in that game.

favorite line

There's many iconic ones I could pick but I'm going to go with a new one from Reload:

It's so small, it's so playful! I like that if you choose to start an exchange he finishes the bit. It says a lot about him in such a succinct way.

Even more so when you consider the reason he came here was for Junpei's sake. Being able to balance joking around while keeping a touch of concern endears me beyond belief. Thank you, Reload.

brOTP

Junpei & Ryoji. It's not even close. This was the one element I was hoping Reload would show more and I was not disappointed! The dynamic is good for a variety of reasons, but chief among them is that despite Junpei's Persona being Magician Arcana, he is not the P3 Hero's Magician Social Link. Junpei is not the male protagonist's best friend. He clearly wants to be, but his frustration is palpable. The P3 Hero is cool, charming, and everything that Junpei plays second fiddle to, but he won't even acknowledge him. But what if there were a more likeable version of the Hero?

Instant friendship. Those two are besties from day one, where Ryoji has all the qualities but none of the knowledge, and so their dynamic is a much more even one. To me, it indicates how well Junpei and the P3 Hero might have gotten along had he not carried Death inside him for ten years. It's a brief window into another world.

There's also the fact that Ryoji, Death, befriends Junpei so close to when Takaya shoots him and he perishes. His character arc is defined by change, this act being what radically transforms his soul, and what's one of the meanings of the Death Tarot? It's like universal foreshadowing. It's funny to me too that the Magician Arcana Shadow is the one Thanatos tore to pieces. Growth for Ryoji too.

As an aside, I miss the dynamic movements from the PS2 cutscenes. Junpei being so quick to drown Ryoji is nowhere comparable to him covering Ryoji's mouth.

OTP

Hmm. This might take a second. I wonder what pairing I might like with Ryoji. Here's an unrelated picture of Messiah:

You know, Messiah is one of those Personas that has only grown on me more as time passes. My favorite of the final protagonist ones, due in part to how you have to fuse him yourself. Orpheus, the starting Persona, combined with the power of Thanatos, the penultimate manifestation of the Death Arcana. They compliment each other beautifully, and regardless of if you the player create him, he is always the true final Persona, the final result of the Judgement Arcana.

They are inevitable.

Of course it's Ryoji and P3 Hero. How could it be anything else? These two make me sick with joy. Death has a clear favorite and in the end, gets to keep him forever.

nOTP

It's funny, because I can't think of any serious pairing with Ryoji that I wouldn't view as a crack ship? I can't see any version of Ryoji with anyone but the P3 Hero nor can I take that relationship seriously. The only other being Ryoji has an established relationship with is Aigis, and that ship comes across as black comedy. I mean, there's also Ryoji and the P3 Heroine, who he is undoubtedly head over heels for, but I see her as heavily preferring Aigis. Oops.

Wait, I did remember one! Ryoji and Junpei! I'll admit, maybe it's the sheer "dudebro" vibe of their relationship, but people pairing these two was not an outcome I expected from Reload. I've seen it enough to know those who like it aren't joking, either.

It's funny, because they're both soul-taken at the tail end of their friendship (Ryoji with P3 Hero and Junpei with Chidori) so I guess I wasn't looking for it? Then again I can't see Junpei Iori kissing a man in general. If there's a Ryoji pairing that isn't my thing, these two are the Most not my thing.

random headcanon

Ryoji memory backfill!

I've seen multiple interpretations for how Ryoji's sudden transfer, housing, and parental situations were never questioned. I like exploring this for myself, especially from Ryoji's perspective. Ryoji fully believes himself to be human until 12/2's Dark Hour. So, how does he reconcile his own situation?

This headcanon states that whenever Ryoji is prompted to answer on where he lives, what he likes, or where he went to school before, he'll often "backfill" what memories he think should be there. If it's something he should reasonably know, it'll be there.

In-game you can see a couple instances of Ryoji being stumped at simple questions, like where his class trip was going to be, but excelling at others, such as when he asks Mitsuru out to a restaurant date. According to the headcanon, he failed the class trip question because it wasn't something he anticipated, but he knew a date location because it was essential to his personality. Ryoji Mochizuki is a hearthrob, it wouldn't make sense if he didn't. So he does.

I like to think Reload Ryoji's phone is another example of this backfill, though this one spills over into material items. Ryoji thinks he should have a phone and knows he should ask for others' numbers, but when he reaches for it on his first day it isn't there.

His inconsistencies are fun.

Rapid fire small ones: his favorite color is blue, he likes sunrises but not sunsets, and he's good with children.

unpopular opinion

This may be the most unpopular opinion I have in general, but I don't believe Ryoji is bisexual. Or rather, I don't necessarily believe he must be bisexual. It's not like I'm trying to shirk representation, but I think there are so many fascinating ways that you can analyze orientation for a character. Same with gender.

Ryoji, through my interpretation, is someone who could only love the protagonist. And it doesn't have to be a sexual kind of love. There's an entire spectrum of identities in our culture that we've labeled for what Ryoji's experiences could be. It brings me joy to be able to think about how – even if Ryoji knew about these identities – he'd define himself. On top of that, would how he define himself be accurate? Would he have misunderstandings about his own identity?

There tends to be a large backlash when someone even suggests a different label for a character with one widely agreed upon, which means my gender and sexuality thoughts stay hidden away. I'm more than aware of those that insist any hint of same-sex attraction is obviously platonic and fans are reading too much into things. I'd never want to take away from an individual identifying with a character for what a fandom settles on calling them.

Though one note: it's interesting to me that from the collective opinion I've seen, people have latched onto bisexual as a label rather than pansexual despite them ostensibly meaning the same thing. Something something changing social climate. Anyway. Play around with character gender and sexuality. It's good for you.

song i associate with them

Auld Lang Syne.

For old acquaintance be forgot

And ne'er brought to mind

Should old acquaintance be forgot

In the days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear

For auld lang syne

We'll drink a cup of kindness yet

For the sake of auld lang syne

-

It's a traditional New Year's celebration song. Auld Lang Syne essentially means "for old time's sake". It originates from a precursor to Scottish, and exists as a fossil word inside this otherwise Standard English prose. I find it sweet how this little, historic piece gets to survive through something that redefines it.

favorite picture of them

Well, that was a lot. If you have a keen eye, you might've already noticed I've been dropping in pictures so I'll keep this part concise.

My favorite pictures of Ryoji are his portraits:

Sweet. Fluffy. Endlessly endeared by the way his hair flairs out. A much clearer heart shape for his face. Perfection. Special mention to his startled expression. His eyes get small and I get happy, simple as that.

Although, I'll never forgive Reload for dropping his Messiah pose:

There's an element to this portrait that's a little more unearthly, but earnest. Visually, his eyes are also a clearer parallel to Aigis's in this version.

Thank you for reading all the way through! And thank you again for the ask. I'm not sure if you were expecting an essay, but I think that about sums it up.

Have a picture of Ryoji nui + charm!

[duhragonball]

Phantom Blood Liveblog JJBA ch.36-38

This is Tonpetti's first trip to England, and he just couldn't resist picking up a Sherlock Holmes pipe at the gift shop.

Last time, Zeppeli sacrificed himself to help Jonathan survive Tarkus and proceed on their quest to defeat Dio and destroy the Stone Mask. Now, his group arrives in Windknights Lot, and it turns out the whole town has already been turned into zombies. So when a guy tries to attack Jonathan, they just assume he's a zombie too, except he's actually a new ally who just wanted to test Jonathan's abilities.

This is Dire, one of Zeppeli's fellow disciples under the Hamon master, Tonpetti. Real quick, let me explain the Thunder Cross Split Attack. The idea is that Dire looks like he's going to fight his opponent hand to hand, but then he suddenly leaps up and kicks his opponents' hands away, leaving him wide open to a strike to the head. This time, Jonathan defends it with a good offense: he simply headbutts Dire, because he's wide open too. And Dire is impressed, but he has a different version of the attack which we'll see later.

Dire introduces himself, Tonpetti, and his fellow disciple Straitz, and explains how and why they're here. Zeppeli sent them a letter a while back, and they came to England to help him destroy the Stone Mask.

And that's all well and good, but it's a little too convenient, isn't it? Zeppeli must have written the letter after he made contact with Jonathan, since they knew Zeppeli was training him. How long has it been since then? Long enough for Tonpetti to get the letter and come all the way from India? And if Zeppeli expected them to join the battle, why didn't he just wait for them to catch up?

The bigger issue I have is that this seems to go against the lore established in Part 2, where the Hamon adepts have been around for thousands of years, and their primary purpose has been to resist the machinations of the Pillar Men, who created the Stone Masks in the first place. But in Part 1, it seems unclear that Tonpetti knew anything about the Stone Mask until Zeppeli told him about it. I dunno, maybe I'm misremembering something from Part 2.

I guess what I'm driving at here is that Zeppeli joined the Hamon school for the sole purpose of helping him destroy the Stone Mask, and apparently Tonpetti is so supportive of this quest that he's willing to come over and help out, but not so supportive that he would have been here in England from the start.

Oh, one other continuity flub, while I'm at it:

When Jonathan meets Tonpetti, he offers him a handshake, and Tonpetti leaves him hanging, like he doesn't do handshakes. Except he literally took Zeppeli's hand when they first met in 1860.

To be fair, Tonpetti only did this because he wanted to do a Hamon fortune-telling thing, but it's interesting to me that he was so eager to do that with Zeppeli, but not with Jonathan. Maybe forseeing Zeppeli's death convinced Tonpetti that some things are better off not knowing. He's purposely avoiding any hand contact with his allies, because he knows any of them could die in the next few minutes. Okay, maybe that came all the way around and became a cool storytelling moment.

So what's Dio been up to this whole time? Well, crushing crosses, for one thing.

This is a classic image from Phantom Blood, but I must have missed that what he's holding in his hand is a cross that he bent up in his bare hand. Wotta heel.

I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion earlier this year, and one thing that bugged me about it was the way the show kept peppering Christian symbols and references all over the place, but completely devoid of any context or deeper meaning. The creators of NGE tacitly admitted that they didn't know anything about Christianity, and they only did this to make the show look cool. And that's fine and all, but it did frustrate me to see crosses show up in Evangelion with no particular symbolic purpose.

Compare this to Dio's scene here, where it appears he's set up his base of operations in a church, probably because it's the largest building in a small town like this. He found a golden cross and he's just idly mashing it into a handful of scrap metal. Dio's rejected his humanity, and so he has zero respect for human religion. He's basically taken over God's house for himself, and he's daring heaven to stop him.

And that all works because in this fictional world, all these religious symbols actually represent things, as opposed to Evangelion, where the crosses are mostly there for aesthetics. I don't know how much Hirohiko Araki knows about Christianity (insert SBR joke here) but at least he knew enough to know exactly what it means to show Dio lounging in a church and crushing a cross like a piece of paper.

Also, there's the whole thing where Dracula is repelled by crosses, and that clearly doesn't affect Dio at all, so that's important as well.

I'm not sure what Dio's doing exactly, but it sure looks like he's having villagers brought before him one by one, so he can screw with them before he turns them into zombies. This lady begs Dio to spare her child, and Dio mockingly agrees. He says that he and his zombies won't hurt the baby, but hen he turns the lady into a zombie and she eats the baby herself. What purpose does this serve? I guess this is just how Dio amuses himself now. He's come a long way from kicking dogs and poisoning fathers.

Later, we see him with his next victim, Poco's sister?! Aw, crap! Also, Dio's surrounded by monsters he created by grafting the corpses of animals and humans together before reanimating them.

Dio monologues to Poco's sister, but she's too horrified to care what he's saying. When I first watched the anime, I thought maybe Dio was trying to get a girlfriend or something, but now it seems clear that he's just screwing with her the same way he did with the other lady. He wants her to ask to be a zombie, not because that matters, since he's going to do that anyway, but because he's a sick fuck.

But Poco's sister isn't so scared that she forgot her signature attack. She waits until Dio's close enough and slaps him upside the head! Fuck yeah! Poco's sister rules!

Unfortunately for her, Dio decides to sic one of his zombies on her. This one is named Doobie, and... well I think you get the general idea of what he's trying to do here. But suddenly....

SURPRISE ANVIL ATTACK! Who could possibly be BEEFY enough, PLUCKY enough, and POLITE enough to carry a damn anvil all the way up to the roof of a church and drop it through the skylight?

STAND NAME: A Fucking Anvil. STAND MASTER: There's no need to share my prideful name with a zombie. POWER: Yes SPEED: 32 feet per second per second RANGE: Close enough STAMINA: Anvils don't feel pain. PRECISION: He hit him, didn't he? DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL: Jodio needs to drop an anvil on a guy in Part 9, is all I'm saying.

Jonathan heads down to kick Doobie's ass, but wait! Doobie has a secret of his own!

HIS HEAD IS COVERED WITH POISONOUS SNAKES!!!!!!

PART ONE IS INSANE!

WHY DOES TONPETTI LOOK SO AMUSED BY THIS?

Some of the snakes bite Jonathan, but it doesn't matter, because he uses Hamon power to squirt the venom back out of the bite holes. I am not making that up. He then uses a small Ripple to "drive the snakes crazy" and they start eating Doobie alive. Well, not "alive", since he's a zombie, but you get the idea.

"What are you doing, my snakes? They're eating me! No way..." might be the most fucked up last words ever recorded.

Finally Dio shows up again and he's like "Yeah, I didn't want to kill you myself out of sentimentality. Remember how we grew up together and I set your dog on fire? Anyway, where's that guy with the hat?"

Jonathan's all set to fight Dio but then Dire shows up and he wants to take Dio on first. After all, he trained with Zeppeli, and they were good friends, so it's only fitting that he try to avenge him. Dire goes for the Thunder Cross Split Attack, but this time he crosses his arms in front of his face, which would protect him from the kind of headbutt Jonathan used on him earlier. See? It all comes back around.

But Dire doesn't know about Dio's freezy powers, so this silly attack does no good. Kicking Dio's hands away just means Dio can grab Dire's ankles and freeze him from there. And this time, Dio freezes his entire body and breaks him like the T-1000 in liquid nitrogen.

But Dire's head is still in tact, and he manages to take one parting shot before he dies. He spits a rose into Dio's eye, and charges it with Hamon to make it hurt more. Then his head freezes and shatters along with the rest of him. I'm pretty sure cold doesn't work this way, which is a tradition Araki would continue with White Album in Part 5.

So yeah, this is a crazy twist. It turns out this new character who just showed up out of nowhere can't beat Dio after all, and it's all up to the title character we've been invested in since the start.

[my-fancy-hat]

Something that pissed me off abt 3+1 was the so little exposition of asuka and mari's relationship. Why mari was so fond and protective over her? When did they met? When did they got so close? (showed on how asuka isn't bothered to team fight with her and even talk abt her insecurities and situationship w shinji). I would have loved to get a bit of a flashback since i had expectations for a girl friendship in nge, for example, "mari was the only one who wasn't afraid to get close to bardiel!asuka (while she was in the coffin showed in the preview), she used to talk to her and stuff so asuka didn't feel alone, as a way to make amends for having stolen her eva unit and destroy it" idk. Welp, at the end they chose to introduce another character to spend some timescreen and show this side of asuka when mari was already there.

At last rebuild replaced hikari for mari as asuka's girl friend but seems like their 14 years long friendship didn't add anything to asuka's character, meanwhile the new kaji-figure and a crush abt almost a quindennium ago eclipsed and took all the narrow field to work on her. But maybe there wasn't anything to add to the conversation from this standpoint with a character that hollow as shikinami and mari that is a concept rather than a character.

[qibli347]

Shinji is in constant need of reassurance and people telling him what to do since he doesn't know for himself, he depends on others to guide him therefore he thinks if he does everything that anyone asks of him they'll be proud. However, he also has a deeply rooted hatred for humanity, if others don't love him neither does he love others or himself for that matter. That causes self hatred and self esteem issues that limit him to only doing thing to please others trying to seek out validation. This brings me to my next point, escapism from reality. In nge we see that he generally spends a lot of time alone, with minimal interaction with others. At some point he tried rebelling and going against what everyone else expects of him, running away. In the original series while piloting eva he keeps repeating to himself "i mustn't run away" trying to convince himself that what others tell him to do is the right thing therefore his opinion on the matter has no meaning. At the end of the series Shinji is most likely contemplating suicide with the thought that even if he does what others expect him to do he'll never be good enough and will always be alone. He is starved of human interaction wether it be intimate or emotional which leads him to giving in and doing some vile things to unconscious Asuka. Shinji shuts himself off from others when he's at his lowest due to the fact that he knows if he opens up no one will forever stick by his side because it appears that whenever he tried opening up to people in the past they left or betrayed him. Now moving on from that to his relationship with his father.  

Shinji makes it obvious he hates his father but that isn't true if we observe his actions. The person he wants to please the most and be good enough for is his father who abandoned him at a very young age. At the start of evangelion Shinji agreed to pilot only for the soul purpose of getting his fathers approval. He tries his best to get recognized by his dad and has a deeply rooted hatred for Rei since she seems to be closest to his father. Knowing that, he feels jealous of her. Therefore he tries even harder to get approval which in the end causes Shinji to sink into an even deeper hole of depression when he doesn't get it. In conclusion Shinji is very very misunderstood. Most people paint his character as annoying or as other say, a crybaby. Those statements are completely wrong and let me explain as to why. The main thing that is said is he complains, a lot and yes that is true, he does complain especially when he's forced to pilot the Eva but he still does it numerous times to please others since that's what everyone wants from him. A people pleaser.  

Another factor that I've already stated is that he escapes reality, an example would be him spending time alone listening to his music player or even doing what others tell him to do so he doesn't have to think for himself. It also appears that his biggest fear is being useless and unneeded. A lot of people will ignore that there is much more to his character and the huge development he gets throughout the show. Yes, the director did intend the viewers hate Shinji but that's because it was made obvious that everyone else in the show hated him for making the wrong decision therefore never giving him a chance. Shinji wants to be happy and to make others happy but the way he goes around doing that is completely wrong. You have to love yourself before you love others and that is his biggest flaw. So this brings me to my next point. What if we took Shinji out of the picture and placed you in his place instead, the viewer. And ask yourself, is Shinji really annoying because he cracks under the pressure of these things? Shinji Ikari just has a lot of dilemmas and is generally just misunderstood.

*@qibli347 died of overdose of Shinji*

[dykemagik]

Song: Cutie Honey

Artist: Ichiro Kageyama

Album: What if All Anime Music Was Sung Like Showa Robot Anime? (2012)

[skullpinz]

Ramiel

[illuminatedbyauroras]

things ive learned over my ËD journey

-if you can’t run/hate running, walk! Long distance walking is still really good for you and can burn a lot of c@ls.

-if you feel like you’re about to b!nge, watch a mukbang. If you can find one that includes the f00d you were about to eat, even better. This honestly takes your mind off of actually doing it. Instead of feeling bad about yourself with a b!nge, take that time to watch a mukbang instead.

-find a new sport or exercise that you actually enjoy. It is possible!! I really really recommend roller skating!!! It’s super fun and you don’t realize how many calories it burns. Also swimming!! Super fun full body workout that burns more than you think.

-CANNED SOUP esp. chicken noodle. A whole can usually has about 140 c@|or1es and is very filling! Plus it’s tasty :)

-if you’re gonna binge, put LOADS of hot sauce on it or too much salt so you don’t want it anymore

-Splenda in coffee instead of cane sugar! (It’s 0 c@|0ries)

-make a c@|0rie calendar to stay motivated

-browse for clothes in your g0al s1ze! it’ll make you more motivated to get there. Shein let’s you see reviews by size, and i look at the people on there for inspiration

- research the nutrition facts of fast food places just in case you h a v e to go out bc you’re with friends/family etc. and have a meal planned/calculated

-if you have a dog, that’s a great excuse for going out on long walks. Especially if the dog isn’t in shape!

-use some celebs for insp1rati0n, rather than random insta models to seem less suspicious

-i actually love having a sc@|e. it helps motivate you if you got closer to your GW, or pushes you to try if you haven’t

-i use an app for tracking my c@|0ri3 intake. this helps a LOT with b!ng!ng and preventing it from happening (i use Lifesum)

-if you do track your c@|or!es, track 50 calories above what you actually consume. this helps with r3stricting. i do it to trick myself that im over my limit.

-also track what you’re gonna eat before you actually do. it helps you plan out your day and see how much you’re gonna consume for the day

-it sounds corny, but find new hobbies! i took up some video games, and found a new love for going on walks and stuff. it genuinely distracts you from going over your limit.

-try off brand f00ds!! they’re usually cheaper, taste very similar to name brands, and can have lower c@|or!es.

-if you’re afraid of diet sodas, try club soda/sparkling water! some come with flavors and they’re mostly all 0-5 c@l.

-get a job? that sounds easier said than done. but if possible, it helps you with f4sting. that gives you 6+ hours away from home, and for me at least it helps me not to b!nge.

i used these and lost 15 lbs since the last week of March :,) it is possible!!

[deathflm]

PIRATE KING —M. VON HAGEN

historical pirate au headcanons

warnings: mentions of seasickness, despite being historical— it’s not very historically accurate

note: y’all see me w the atz song in the title ayo ?? if u have any manga recs shoot them my way! i’m currently reading hell’s paradise and watching nge!

— pirate! marius, captain of the pax ship which he had recently inherited from his father. the pax ship was large and old, but didn’t look its age for it was very well kept by the crew. its floorboards did not rot due to being made from mainly mahogany compared to the usual cedar and oak wood because of its heavy water resistance. though it was much more expensive than the latter mentioned wood, marius was glad his father had chose mahogany for its red tint glistened under the mid afternoon sunlight.

— pirate! marius who prioritizes his crews and their needs yet whose curiosity was piqued by a person waiting near docks randomly one night. he was unaware as to why you were waiting there but approached you anyway. despite very well knowing his title and the infamous reputation surrounding not only the pax crew, but pirates in general, you still asked to board his ship. board his ship? sure, you had gotten his attention but this roped him in even more. he found the entire situation amusing. thus why you ended up on his ship in the first place. though, you only sailed to the next town over before coming back. marius insisted that you shouldn’t stay away from your loved ones for too long.

during this night, he had told stories of travelling the seas and showed you a fake hook which he sometimes liked to wear since he thought it looked cool. he spent a long time explaining how his left eye was indeed fine, and the patch was simply to help him instantly adjust to the dark. that notion confused you which caused him to furthermore explain how he switches the patch from the right to the left at night so he can continue guiding the ship without need to adapt to the light, same with below deck too. at first, he had thought he was crazy for taking in a stranger on his beloved ship, but as he continued talking to you, he realized that you were more interesting than the entire crew combined. it was easier to talk to somebody who didn’t address him as an authoritative figure.

it’s safe to say marius took a liking to you, and you returned the feelings, having been swept away by his charm and courageous tales.

— pirate! marius who catches you waiting on the docks every three weeks for when his crew shall arrive back in town. with a grin plastered on his face he’ll shout out something along the lines of “miss me?” from the top deck before hurrying off the ship to greet you properly. always, no matter what, he would come back with a gift. being attacked while trying to dock near a village? that sucks, but they are gonna need to dock. he could see a beautiful ring in the market by using his telescope and all he could think about was pleasantly slipping it on your finger while giving you a playful smile. though, when he actually had to put the ring on your finger, he tried to put it on the wrong one— then continued to get frustrated since it wasn’t fitting, before accidentally dropping it into the sea.

don’t worry though! he jumped straight in... fully clothed.. in order to retrieve it. his soaked knee high leather boots refused to come off after that until they dried.

— pirate! marius who unexpectedly went on a longer voyage than he had anticipated and felt sad when he didn’t see you at the dock. of course you wouldn’t be, he had been two weeks late. so, imagine your surprise when you wake up in the morning and find marius sleeping in front of your home since nobody had answered the door last night. after getting inside, he sleepily apologizes for being absent for so long and continues to shower you with many gifts and plenty words of affection! not wanting to experience something like that again, he asks your parent(s) to allow you to sail the sea with him! when they say yes, he is more than ecstatic and immediately begins preparing the ship for you.

— pirate! marius who will take you to the top deck at night and starts showing you the constellations in the night sky. his face always being illuminated by the dark sky’s purple hue as his eyes glint like how they usually do when he’s talking about something that he’s interested in. in truth, you didn’t care very much for the constellations but you adored the way he had such a childishly beam as he lively explained the stories behind each constellation.

— pirate! marius who would fake being sea sick every once in a while for you to fuss over him before you find him on the top deck easily steering the ship without seeming ill at all. though, once his gaze is caught on yours, he’ll pretend to double over as if he was about to pass out but he knows very well you would never fall for something like that.

ᵕ̈ ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏⁻ ⁻ ⁻ ✧ ༝ 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 ☠︎︎ 𝔣𝔩𝔪 ⁹₉⁹ ❤︎

[ritsushinbro]

My Thoughts on Rei Ayanami in the Rebuilds (spoilers)

I thought I would continue my posts on the characterisation within the rebuilds. I have already done Asuka so I thought I would do Rei next. Honestly I was quite reluctant to post my thoughts on Rei (and the other pilots I have saved) because they are quite critical and I worry it may come across as repetitive. So if you guys still want my Mari and Kaworu posts then please say. There’s less I have to say about Rei because although I feel she was neglected by the writers, I do not feel Rei herself was made to act obtuse or as an extreme caricature of her NGE counterpart. 1.0 does not seem to change Rei’s character as the film is a condensed version of the first few episodes of NGE. So I can’t really complain about the first rebuild and Rei as there is not much difference. 2.0 however does deviate a lot and places a lot of character “development” on Rei very quickly. This is another example of 2.0 having to fit too much into one movie so they could get to the rebuild equivalent of episode 19. The two most prominent examples of this is the elevator scene and Rei’s decision to cook for Shinji and Gendo. The former has her prevent Asuka from hitting her, this indicates that Rei has become a lot more human and is now beginning to value herself than her NGE counterpart at this point in the story. However this “humanisation” comes across as a lot more sudden than it does in NGE (as to be expected from a movie) as it seemed not just a few days ago that Rei was lamenting about how isolated she felt when looking at the fish in the aquarium. What caused that sudden shift? The miso soup that Shinji gave her? Was that all it took to make Rei become a lot more sociable (much to Touji’s surprise) and then deciding to enquire about the value of eating in the company of others with Gendo of all people? It just seems extremely weird to have that miso soup be the catalysis for such sudden character development. I cannot complain however, because I do feel this change in Rei’s behaviour is in keeping with her character (despite it being relatively more extroverted by comparison with her NGE counterpart). 

One thing I do seem to have a problem with however is Rei’s principle desire to kill Zeruel in order to keep Shinji from piloting again. The reason I furrow my brow at this, is because Zeruel is not the final angel so killing it wouldn’t exactly mean they would be in the clear and Shinji would be liberated from his piloting responsibilities. Another thing is that Shinji was pissed off at his father for forcing him to hurt Asuka with the dummy plug; it wasn’t piloting that hurt Shinji but his father’s decisions. Even though Shinji never actually spoke to Rei after Bardiel (I think, it has been a while since I saw 2.0), why would Rei assume it was the piloting itself that was causing Shinji pain and not his father? After all, Shinji was actually getting used to piloting (as evidenced by the pilots’ cooperation with sahaquiel and Shinji’s comments that Unit 01 is comforting to be inside. But honestly, I am being pedantic here and this is not as big a plot discrepancy as I am making it out to be. Another thing that I just remembered is why would Rei tell Shinji during his rescue attempt that she is replaceable and that Shinji should just abandon her because that is her life now which shows deep resignation to her own life. But this goes against her previous development in the elevator scene where she stops Asuka from hitting her which shows she values herself. Kinda weird considering Shinji was already past the point of no return but whatever. 

3.0 does mess with her character a lot though. All the character development that Rei had and especially her connection with Shinji was all thrown out the window. The Rei that Shinji knew was long gone and all that was left was a robotic look alike that does nothing but follow orders. The writers messed up a bit with this because at least in NGE we know that the memories of the prior Rei clones carry over which leads Rei III to fuck Gendo over for Shinji in EoE. They could have shown small aspects of this with Rei Q but they don’t. They have Rei Q see a spectre of Rei in a school uniform when she is in her maintenance tank but that doesn’t go anywhere as we learn the original Rei is chilling inside Unit 01. So who the hell was that ghost Rei or was it just a hallucination from the original? If it is the latter, then Rei Q’s connection with Rei 2.0 doesn’t get foreshadowed well enough IMO, they should have shown the ghost Rei in a white plugsuit instead of a school uniform, because the latter just makes it seem like they wanted to do a quantum Rei storyline but copped out. Now that we know she is a completely different person, we have Rei Q constantly questioning her identity as Rei Ayanami as she should so I have no complaints about that. She even resorts to asking Asuka what the original Rei would do to which Asuka replies what she wants to do instead of what Rei would do. This indicates that Rei Q is and will be getting her own development as her own person in the next film which honestly makes sense if what actually happens isn’t so tragic. 

3.0+1.0 is gracious enough to give Rei Q a lot of development in the village. She learns about farming, animals, babies, food (there is a call back to the miso soup) and even wears a school uniform. She even asks Asuka for a name to which I believe she replies with “Lot-chan” (correct me if I’m wrong). She very quickly becomes her own person. However, like 2.0,  I think this development is too quick as it was only a few hours ago she was so obsessed with following orders that she beheaded Mark 06 to release the angel and help doom the world, but this is neither here nor there. It genuinely feels like Rei Q is going to become her own character separate from the other Rei. She even develops her own feelings for Shinji (which is also too quick and sudden IMO) and helps him recover psychologically after Asuka’s loving and tender (sarcasm, obviously) feeding attempt went wrong.

However this is where things go wrong. It is revealed that Rei and all her clones have “programmed” feelings for Shinji which completely remove all authenticity of Shinji’s and Rei’s relationship. Rei states that this doesn’t bother her but it really should because it doesn’t make sense as both iterations of Rei were indifferent to Shinji. Neither of them showed that they were programmed to love him so that is just a mistake from the writers there. Furthermore, Rei Q does not get to see another day, as it turns out she will die without her tank. So she goes to Shinji, gives him back his SDAT, confesses her feelings and then just explodes into LCL. Oh but not before she confesses her feelings for him and her plugsuit changes to the original Rei’s white colour scheme. Like why would the writers do this?! You spend all that time developing another character and reinforcing her individuality only to bloody kill her off and then fuse her with the original Rei. It’s so dumb and achieves nothing narratively wise other than making the original Rei baby-crazy. Furthermore, her death apparently makes Shinji summon the will to fight against Gendo by going to the wunder, where people still want to kill him. How, when Shinji is still grieving from Kaworu, you would think another death would just add to it but no. A contrived death to make a contrived recovery.

And now we have Shinji’s reunion with the original Rei in Unit 01. What can I say about this that hasn’t already been said? It’s done in a studio and is pure meta-commentary. Like why? There is even a cringy title-drop in their meeting. It’s so stupid. Although their talk is more intimate than Asuka’s goodbye, the tenderness is completely ruined by it being in a studio. They could have done it in the aquarium for God’s sake or even in the place where she first smiles at him after ramiel. It is just completely laughable. I am not gonna talk about Rei concealing Shinji’s synch scores because that kinda speaks for itself. Shinji tells Rei to leave because apparently Mari is gonna pick him up. How can this be the case, considering he planned on killing himself but maybe he just didn’t want to scare Rei or he thought Mari could bring him back, who knows? Rei was extremely protective over Shinji (her concealing his synch scores) and this is portrayed as a bad thing as it means Shinji has forced Rei to be self-sacrificial for him. So he lets Rei go, except he has replaced her with Mari who stated she will always be wherever he is or something like that and that he should wait for her. So effectively he has just substituted Rei for Mari in the dutiful roles they play in Shinji’s life and one is portrayed as bad and the latter is portrayed as good?

Finally, Rei is shown in the train scene with Kaworu but her face is not even shown. I don’t care about the Kaworei implications but the fact that Shinji is not even shown to acknowledge the girl he ended the world for (supposedly) is absolutely egregious. Let’s not forget that Rei is Shinji’s only blood relative (which he should be aware of after 3.0 and if not definitely after instrumentality) so you would think that he would keep her close in the new world. But no, he runs off with Mari and refuses to meet with Rei again because of the meta “moving on” motif and because according to some users, he feels “guilt” for Rei apparently sacrificing herself for Shinji. But why should Shinji feel guilt (as evidenced by him still wearing the choker if that is what it symbolises)? Rei was the one that decided to prevent Shinji from piloting out of her own volition, Shinji never asked her to do that, in fact it was a hindrance to him in 3.0. And it is not like Shinji did nothing in return for her, he treated her with kindness, introduced her to food, helped her become human and ultimately saved her from zeruel and gave her a new life. Even for Rei Q, Shinji tried to connect with her and gave her books to read so it’s not like Shinji is someone who does nothing for anybody, so why should he feel guilt for people doing things for him out of their own choice? Because Anno needed to give a reason for Shinji to leave his closest friends including his only blood relative and not even having the decency to see her face in the end. 

[empty-dream]

Just Watched Evangelion 3.0+1.0

Which actually is 3.0+1.01. What is this, an app update?

Following the yet another apocalypse averted narrowly but still it's fucking bleak ending of 3.0, Mari and WILLE have mission in Paris while the original trio wanders to an unlikely haven. Cue cottagore. And then gore.

Fucking finally. This movie is no longer a myth. It's actually a thing. Oh my god I lived long enough to see 3.0+1.0.

Not gonna lie I swallowed hard when I saw the timestamp (2hr35min) cuz I thought that's almost 3 hours of depression and I could barely stand the gloom in 3.0. But then again I watched Avengers Endgame (3 hr). Twice.

Applause to Anno and team who contributed to this. I hear he had a hard time finishing the tetralogy, so I was just happy he would even go back here after all..

You know, I actually haven't watched the original NGE series. Got no time or heart to do that. I only know the plot points, the terms, signature scenes and what it ultimately is about. So as always, I can and will speak only for myself and not for anyone else.

As a Rebuild only watcher, I'm immensely satisfied. I rewatched everything before watching 3.0+1.0 and it was such a trip.

I did have a bit of difficulty following every detail since again, I don't watch the original series. For example, idk specific objects like Black Moon or Golgotha Object, but I know general things like Instrumentality and Impacts and the Lance. If I took things in strides at face value, with my own knowledge for the series and SF in general, I still enjoyed and got the story of the movie.

Last movie addresses a lot of questions from 3.0, like where is Kaji, what happens to everyone else during the (Near) 3rd Impact(s), and the biggest tick that I have: Misato giving Shinji the cold shoulders and utterly disowning him even though she was the one who encouraged him to do what he did in the climax of 2.0. I like how it is finally addressed and resolved here.

In fact, I think most characters have their story resolved well. Not everyone, but most of them.

Looking back, even I get the sense that their Rebuild characters are less depressing than the original series version. And I like that, because even the Rebuild version, especially from 3.0 already makes me exhale. Because their dysfunction is not quite as severe and they do rather better generally, it's possible for them to overcome their problems in healthier ways and without coming off as forced. I like depressing things that end happily, after all.

Nice of all the callbacks. A girl offers Rei Q a book with "Porcupine" in the title, reminding me back to the Hedgehog Theory. Well, even tho those two aren't that closely related. Watermelons and nature in general keep being related to Kaji. The beach, oh my god the beach.

Nice job at the art shifts. From tokusatsu-style 3D, to photorealistic, to discolored animation frames, all of those really reflect the surrealism in the climax of the movie.

From the beginning I treat the ships as plot devices rather than a militant die hard stan thing. But I admit I was a bit surprised at how it ended. Still, that's definitely no reason to send the studio death threats, as I found out that it truly happened.

Well I personally think the ending itself has a very positive note and if it really mirrors what Anno thinks of his life now, then good for him. And as for me, it’s truly a conclusion. After I watched it, it felt like closing a book and I was left in a daze for a week because man, I couldn’t believe it already ended. It’s a satisfying ending for a long journey.

Man, One Last Kiss is a spectacular song, I fell hard instantly for that song ever since the trailer was out. The music is amazing and so is the lyric. But hearing it again at the end of this movie just hiTS DIFFERENT. I was muffling my scream the entire time.

But another surprise is VOYAGER - Hizuke no Nai Bohyou that plays during the climax. It's kinda like Tsubasa wo Kudasai for 2.0. It's a great melancholic, nostalgic song that reminds me of idk, 90s songs? And the lyrics is, *mwah*

TL;DR: What a journey. *Screaming Geometrically*

Watashi ga anata to shiriaeta koto wo / Watashi ga anata wo aishiteta koto wo / Shinu made shinu made hokori ni shitai kara~ (That I got to know you, that I loved you, I want to be proud of that until the day I die)

[acavatica]

i-wakeupstrange said:

i’m not including this in my review of the elevator fic because it was becoming its own huge, ridiculous tangent, but in short: it’s now my headcanon that Marco is into anime (OF COURSE why didn’t I realize sooner) and in a roundabout way that’s Peter’s doing. (he’s a little old for NGE but, I think, about the right age to have gotten real into, say, Robotech. and decide to show his son these shows. because he’s a Cool Dad. or tried to be before... you know.)

Peter told himself that he was watching cartoons because of the baby, but also all the baby books he’d tried to force Eva to read had said that babies have about a foot of vision and see colors like a dog. Then he told himself that he was watching cartoons because the bright colors and laser sounds kept him awake. At least that wasn’t a complete lie. 

The full truth was that he thought Robotech was cool. It was serialized, which was more than he could say for any American TV shows. It wasn’t as if Peter could read Dune with a baby in his arms no matter how much he wanted to, even if he’d missed the last two books and another was coming out later that year. And it wasn’t as if Peter could read Dune anyway since he was off Ritalin again, but that was neither here nor there. TV shows would catch up to book series eventually.

The fact that it had a story he could follow was just a bonus. The real draw of Robotech was that it aired in marathons in the middle of the night. That was a lot less likely to wake up his ten-week-old than changing his Doctor Who tapes every four episodes. Plus, he’d had to pay someone on USENET to ship the tapes all the way from Brighton. If he wore them out, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to find the guy ripping VHS tapes on net.tv.drwho again.

Eva’s alarm went off, muffled by the bedroom door. Peter closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch cushion. 5:30 already. He’d been letting her get most of the sleep to reimburse her for the whole pregnancy thing, but now that she was going back to work, he wouldn’t even have a choice.

He listened to her shuffle around the kitchen. He heard every step of her putting on a pot of coffee. Eva never did anything quietly, but it hadn’t taken him long to get used to it. After all, there was nothing more comforting than knowing his ever-so-slightly evil partner would at least never be able to sneak up on him. 

He opened his eyes to catch her shaking out her still-rumpled hair and stretching out the crick in her back. He heard that too, from all the way across the room. Another thing Peter was repaying her for. She saw him watching and closed the distance between them. Eva draped her elbows over the back of the couch and touched her cheek to Peter’s head. Peter took a deep breath, and he smelled her shampoo and the coffee and their new baby. 

Putting his PhD on hold was worth it.

Eva cocked her head to the side, rolling her chin over Peter’s forehead. “Wow, look at her hair. Japan really has progressive ideas about the meaning of ‘spiral curls.’” She walked around to the front of the couch, plopped down, and held out her arms. “Hand him over.”

Marco started whining almost immediately. 

“I’m surprised you know it’s Japanimation.”

Eva rolled her eyes. “We had Japanese cartoons in Mexico. And actually, the acting was way better than this.”

“Yeah, but were there giant fighting robots?”

“I dunno, this shit is for nerds.” Marco was still fussing in her arms, but she was looking down at him like she understood where he was coming from. “You’re gonna make our kid a nerd, aren’t you?”

Peter smiled. “I don’t know what you expected when you decided to have a baby with me.”

“Feh, yeah, ‘decided.’” Eva stretched her leg out and gave Peter’s knee a good nudge.

She pulled her leg back, crossed her ankles, and cradled Marco with her whole body. All three of them fell quiet, and Minmay sang Marco back to sleep.

⁠—⁠—⁠— 

Marco was born whining, and after four years, he still only stopped when he was asleep.

“Why do I have to do daycare?”

“You asked to watch Voltron. It’s the fifth time we’ve watched Voltron. Please watch Voltron.”

Marco bobbed his head back and forth as he quoted the onscreen conversation between Queen Merla and King Zarkon: “The chamber is full of quarks. ⁠— Quirks? ⁠— No, quarks. You see, everything is made of atoms, and all atoms are made of quarks. ⁠— Hm, nice, but how does it work? ⁠— Well, there are six kinds of quarks: up, down, top, bottom, strange. And my favorite kind, charmed.”

“Well. At least we can be sure you’re my kid. And Eva’s. And of why I like this show.”

“If you like it, don’t complain.”

Peter ran his hand over his hair and tried to ignore how thin it was getting. “Definitely Eva’s kid…” 

Marco rolled over closer to Peter and looked up at him pleadingly. “Whyyy do I have to do daycare?”

“Because,” Peter said reluctantly. “I finally finished school, and it was really hard, but I got a cool job out of it.”

Marco’s eyes basically tripled in size, and he poked out his lower lip. Definitely, 100% for sure, Eva’s kid. “But I’ll miss you.”

Peter sighed. “I’ll miss you too. But you’re starting school in the fall anyway, so think of it like practice.”

Marco crossed his arms and turned his eyes back to the TV. He stayed quiet for maybe a minute, long enough for the pilots to form Voltron. Without taking his eyes off the TV, he said, “What if they don’t know how to microwave Spaghetti-Os?”

“If there’s any lesson you have to learn, it’s that sometimes you have to settle for Spaghetti-Os that aren’t made by Chef Boyardee Champion of the World, Your Dad.”

“Spaghetti-Os aren’t even Chef Boyardee,” Marco mumbled.

Peter reached his leg over and nudged Marco’s knee with his foot. “Don’t you want to be brave like Lance?”

Marco pushed Peter’s foot away, crossed his arms again, and sank into the couch. “No. I wanna be diablo-lolical like Prince Lotor.”

“Well, Prince Lotor doesn’t even need his dad.”

Marco glanced over at Peter, and Peter grinned. Marco sank even further into the couch until his feet almost touched the floor.

⁠—⁠—⁠— 

The bluish glow of the TV cast long shadows across the room. There wasn’t much contrast because it was a pretty dark movie, but Marco was still illuminated against the dull, colorless room. The volume was only one notch above mute, but he was sitting on his knees, so close to the TV that he could almost make out every word. It’s not like the sound would have bothered his dad, even if he turned it all the way up. Marco kept it low so he could still hear Peter breathing, and even acknowledging that feeling ate away his insides.

It had been a whole year, and for a while Marco had tried not to think about how he was the only thing keeping his dad alive, in more ways than one. It got harder the longer Peter didn’t get better. Marco didn’t even have cable to distract himself from his messed up life. He just had the same old VHS tapes, and they’d had to donate a bunch of them to Goodwill when they’d moved. 

The box was still there, still packed and next to the TV, labeled in Marco’s sloppy kid handwriting. Peter hadn’t helped with the move⁠—it had mostly been Jake’s family and his mom’s relatives he’d never met and would probably never see again. Marco could still see his hands pulling the tapes off the shelves, sorting them, reading the labels in Peter’s sloppy grownup handwriting, and not being able to bear to throw away the memories of sitting between his mom and dad with popcorn in his lap, even if he might never be able to watch those tapes again.

There were only a few tapes scattered around the plastic milk crate the TV sat on. The rest were still in the box. Marco had gone through them dozens of times, and he was still limited to the few tapes he didn’t associate with a time when he had a family. 

He’d never watched Ghost in the Shell with his dad. That was probably a good thing, because there was a lot of nudity, and that was always awkward. There was also some gore, which Peter knew gave Marco nightmares, even if he pretended not to be scared. Marco had played the movie in front of Peter dozens of times anyway, but his eyes didn’t track it, and he didn’t tell Marco that he should turn it off, he was too young to see all these nipples.

Marco turned around, blinded from sitting so close to the TV. He didn’t need to see his dad. He knew he was curled in on himself, his face buried in the place where the back of the couch met the seat and the arm. There was no way to know if he was asleep or awake, and Marco wasn’t even sure those words had meaning in Peter’s life anymore.

“Hey Dad,” Marco said, his voice creaky, either from disuse, disgust, or some other kind of emotion. “What do you think about the whole brains jacking into the internet thing? Realistic? It seems like the kind of thing you’d have worked on.”  Marco listened to Peter’s breathing. It never changed. Marco could say anything. “You know. When you worked.”

Marco turned away, back to the TV. He pressed Stop, and the tape clicked off, flooding the room with light so bright and blue, it hurt his eyes. He pressed rewind and the whir of the tape drowned out Peter’s breathing. It was crazy, but as the VCR started to grind to the end of the tape, Marco was suddenly, irrationally, completely sure that when the tape stopped rolling, the room would be totally silent. His body flashed hot and then cold and his pulse pounded painfully in his temples.

The tape clicked off. Marco held his breath.

Peter breathed in. Out. In. Out.

Marco pressed play, turned the volume up a few more notches, and got to his feet. As he passed, he shoved his dad’s leg with his foot. He stood over him, waiting like he expected some kind of reaction. The TV lit up his motionless body in green, gray, white. The cyborg pulled the cables out of her neck and stood.

“If only someone would ghost hack you.”

Marco went into his bedroom⁠—the only bedroom⁠—and slammed the door.  

⁠—⁠—⁠— 

Marco’s back was flat against the dirt floor of the scoop, his head resting on his folded arms. His right leg was draped over Ax’s back and he’d slowly tangled his left leg up in Ax’s tail. Ax didn’t like that, and he knew Ax didn’t like it, and that’s why he’d taken it slow. He’d started by sticking his leg under Ax’s tail. He’d waited a couple weeks, and then he’d surreptitiously make a loop over the course of an hour. Now, after like a month of acclimating him, Ax’s tail was wrapped around Marco’s leg like a boa constrictor, and maybe Ax didn’t even notice.

He definitely noticed. Marco had just pulled off an incredible feat of exposure therapy. Ax just wasn’t allergic to how annoying Marco was anymore. Too bad the allergy was familial, and it was harder to wallow a hawk into submission.

<You’re not even watching,> Tobias complained.

Marco lolled his head to the side and pointed his eyes at the TV. “Why are you making me read TV, Tobias? The point of TV is to not have to read.”

<Subtitles are more authentic,> Tobias said, his voice dripping with condescension.

“But what about Ax? Poor Ax can’t read at all.”

<I can read,> Ax said, his voice a mixture of defensive and arrogant. <And even if I couldn’t, my translator chip has no trouble processing Japanese.> Snobbiness ran in their family too. 

“I’m just saying, I’d be able to pay more attention if I could understand the words and look at the pictures at the same time. You know, how it’s intended to be consumed?”

<It’s intended to be consumed in Japanese.> 

Marco rolled his eyes and sighed. It was the obnoxious kind of sigh, the voiced kind that’s practically a groan. “It’s just robots, dude, it’s not that serious.”

<Neon Genesis Evangelion is art, Marco,> Tobias said, ratcheting the pretension up to eleven. <It’s an exploration of how humanity would develop, given exposure to advanced alien technology in the face of an oncoming alien threat. And the only thing protecting humanity from annihilation is some teenagers with special powers. It’s like, relatable.> 

“Wow,” Marco said sarcastically. “Never seen anything like that before.” That was basically the plot of Robotech mixed with Voltron, but boring.

<I mean, you must have never seen anime before, or you’d know how terrible the English dubs are.>

Marco sat up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes. Ax tightened his tail ever so slightly around Marco’s leg, like he was trying to hold him back. Marco pulled his leg free. “That’s pretty funny, since how could you even have watched so much subbed anime when no one cared enough about you to buy you decent clothes or new shoes or Clearasil? Let alone to go out of their way to buy you anime, subtitled specifically, the way it’s intended, of course.”

Tobias stared at him. Ax stared at him. Hell, Shinji Ikari stared at him.

Marco couldn’t take even a minute of it. “Say something.”

<I just wanted to share something I like with you.> 

Tobias opened his wings, fluttered to the edge of the scoop entrance, and flew away.

Ax was still looking at him with all four eyes. Marco squirmed, but he pressed his lips into a line and didn’t break eye contact.

<That was too far,> Ax said finally, his voice more gentle than Marco deserved. <Why did you react so forcefully?>

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Marco leaned around Ax, grabbed the remote, and changed the audio to English. “Let’s just watch this dumb robot show.”

[duhragonball]

2024

I'm not very good about making/keeping/remembering New Year's resolutions, so I should probably get some things jotted down before I look up and it's September again.

Finish Final Fantasy V, VI, and VII. I started FF5 in December and got about halfway in, but I planned to have it done by now and I don't, so that needs to get ironed out. VI is next, and I wanted to do it in January, but one thing at a time. VIII and IX would be nice this year, but I have to be realistic. These games are long and I need to block out a lot of time for them.

Finish Mega Man X8. I wanted to play all the classic Mega Man games and that meant going through the X series, which I have not enjoyed much at all, but this is the last one. I might have knocked it out sooner, but X7 drained my will to live. I should give this priority, since it shouldn't take long to do if I use Rookie Mode like I did for the rest of MMXC2.

Read a bunch of my comic book collection. I managed to get the last of my paper comics replaced with digital copies, but now I need to organize them. I'm not going to read all the unread stuff in a single year, but I have plans to take care of a lot of loose, one-off things, which should make the rest of the list easier to manage.

Liveblogs of Neon Genesis Evangelion, Jojolion, and Chainsaw Man for this year. This one actually relates to this tumblr blog. I want to tackle some medium-sized projects for this thing, and the liveblogs I did of Hellsing and Battle Tendency in 2021 were pretty well-sized. NGE's one of those bucket-list anime series form, and I always felt like I should give Jojo Part 8 a more thorough read now that it's finished. And Chainsaw Man seems like something up my alley. I expect each one to take me about a month apiece, so we'll see if I can get all of them done as planned. Full disclosure, it'll be sometime in the spring before I get started, so don't hold your breath waiting for me.

Update Luffa to Chapter 225. This shouldn't take that long, since nearly all of this material is stuff I already wrote in November, but it needs editing, and... I find myself still thinking about this part of the story as though I hadn't already written it. So I have a feeling the editing process is going to involve a lot of rewriting or at least time spent agonizing over whether this is as good as it can possibly be. It's kind of important, and I want it to be just right, but it also needs to be done, too, so.... yeah.

Get Gud at Art. This is more nebulous than it should be, but the basic idea is that I need to spend more time just practicing and learning how to draw. I'm not knocking my current skill level, but there's a lot stuff I'd like to be able to do that I simply don't know how to do. I need to devote some time to that, and I scheduled an OC-tober thing for myself to do, sort of like the one I did in 2021. I'm not looking for any dramatic gains, but I would like to be able to look back on this year and see that I turned a corner.

Tellurium. I used to write a series on the discoveries of the chemical elements on my main blog. I pretty much stopped in 2016 because tellurium was the next one and it seemed too difficult to research, and, well... this blog kind of took over a lot of my free time. I'd like to see if I can get back into the swing of things over there. Maybe do more than just Te, but one step at a time.

Bake a cake. My mom set me home from Christmas with leftover cake, and the pan she baked it in. I should bake my own before I give it back to her. Just for the sake of it.

[darkarchercatalyst]

All right, rant time, and the theme... is themes. (The other theme is Mirai Nikki. We’ll get there.) Quick disclaimer that I’m far from having any sort of expert opinion on literature, so there are likely people who will disagree with me or say things in a much more precise manner. That aside, here we go.

One of the core elements in whether or not I find a piece of fiction satisfying is whether or not it can maintain a consistent theme throughout. Thematic elements exist across a wide range of moods, goals, genres, and so on, and generally reflect on the driving philosophy of the narrative work. They are the parameters that create the framework in which a fictional world exists, much like the laws of physics in reality. When characters and plot move along with respect to the laws that govern them, it provides a cohesive experience. This doesn’t necessarily mean the story is good, but it is coherent. If characters and plot actively subvert the themes of their setting, then it creates a jarring or dissonant experience in the viewer (I’m looking at you, Gurren Lagann).

Sometimes this can be used to great effect. A “twist” ending or sudden change often relies on a thematic shift to move the story from one paradigm to another, with the jarring nature of that transition intended to create emotion of some sort in the viewer. However, to do so effectively requires for the secondary theme to be present throughout the first theme, but simply hidden or not acknowledged. Whether a second theme that enables the twist was properly set up is often seen in whether an audience feels like the twist “came out of nowhere.” Well-executed thematic shifts reward their more perceptive and invested viewers.

The other important part of themes is that they provide a vector along which the story and characters develop. This doesn’t mean that all characters and story beats evolve in the same way, nor should they, but the theme of the work provides the boundaries for the trajectories each element takes. We ultimately want the end state of the characters we like to be somewhere along the thematic route from where they started. Whether the net movement is positive or negative doesn’t necessarily matter as long as we felt that the character’s path had meaning. This is the predominant reason that most people find the endings of shounen manga disappointing, since often the trajectory of the characters’ stories get narrowed down into some sort of textbook feel-good ending that doesn’t reflect any complexity of the plot that came before.

Now then, for the core of the rant. The reason that I hate Mirai Nikki’s ending is that it completely breaks with the thematic elements of the series in order to provide not even a feel-good ending but a self-serving ending on the part of the author. The core element of Yukiteru’s character from the beginning is that he is a passive observer of the world around him. He is highly perceptive and precise in his observations, but it is entirely outwardly facing without regard for himself. This is stressed multiple times throughout the series, as is Yukiteru’s passivity in the face of ongoing events. It is only when he is thrown into a life-or-death situation where his own survival is paramount that this self-neglect becomes a critical flaw, which is then supplemented by Yuno’s character of being entirely centered on Yukiteru. In a messed-up way, their views of the world are necessarily complementary for both of them to survive. This is a good thematic hook to start off on, and intersects with the other diary holders and the ways they each in turn view the world around them.

Mirai Nikki also deals strongly with the ideas of justice and personal codes of honor. The moral perceptions of the contributing characters and the way that each action is justified against those morals is as important to the themes of the story as their preferred method for recording the events of the world. These morals are often intentionally skewed in the sense that it takes an outside morality, often in the form of characters uninvolved in the battle royale like Nishijima or Yukiteru’s friends, to provide a baseline against which the dynamic personalities involved are measured. So far, so good. Throughout the series this served as a decent dynamic and reference point for just how far afield the characters go.

A two-fold problem arises with the way these thematic elements, and we’ll work backwards through them. First, the baseline that the series relied upon for grounding its moral code is broken in response to the event where Yuno kidnaps Yukiteru and holds him hostage. Eventually Yukiteru is saved and released, only to turn around and decide to stay with Yuno anyway because she loves him and the only way he can “save” her is to stick with her. This alone isn’t a breach of Yukiteru’s passive nature despite being frustrating to the viewer, but the problem is the more meta context in which it is portrayed. The characters serving as the moral basis for the series rightfully are disturbed by Yukiteru’s decision, but contextually they are depicted as being wrong for attempting to convince him otherwise. This initial point of fracturing in the theme of the story carries forward in the sense that the series reorients around Yukiteru’s actions becoming deterministic. He simply does what he has to do without regard for exactly where on the moral spectrum that falls. That could have been handled effectively if the moral backbone was maintained. However, it is cast into doubt by the author’s decision to portray a bad decision (with respect to the story so far) as unilaterally good rather than simply reasonable within the context of the story.

This draws a direct line to the second big fracturing point of the thematic elements of the story, which is the ending. Even after the aforementioned breach in the moral core of the story, there is some attempt to regain it by coming back to Yukiteru’s friends and bringing in Akise as an off-kilter moral foil for Yukteru and Yuno’s actions in the last arc or so. This never quite lands aside from having a plot device by which to force Yukiteru’s “character development” at the very end, but more on that in a moment. The core issues it that by the time the series ends, both Yukiteru and Yuno are “bad” characters not just from a reader perspective but from the baseline morality that pervaded the first half of the series. Yukiteru sacrificed his personal morals and Yuno was revealed to have almost none for the sake of winning the war, and the only reason they are still the protagonists by the end is that Yukiteru at least is still “better” than the other bad guys. However, due to the themes of justice pervading the series there is at least some need for consequence for all of the “bad” characters. Except... this doesn’t happen. Yukiteru ends up winning the war and Yuno dies, at which point the thematic conclusion would be that Yukiteru must suffer some consequence of note or at the very least come to a realization that his behavior should change to atone for the actions he took even if they were out of necessity. Instead, he mopes around until Yuno from the next universe was brought to him and they live happily ever after.

This also creates a problem in that it breaks Yukiteru’s character arc and catapults him back to how he was at the beginning of the series. Yukiteru starts from a passive observer to a more active element, but all of this continues to be outward-facing. He behaves within the story as a response to the stimulus around him, but most personal senses of motivation or responsibility are only cursory at best. Only in the final arc, in order to escape being Reality Marble’d and stop Yuno, does he realize his own responsibility for the state of the world around him and acknowledges that he must be the one to take action out of his own motivation. He gains resolve to do not just what must be done in response to the current state, but the “right” thing. Until... he doesn’t. He certainly does the first step in resolving things by winning the war, but then it stops there. Any personal sense of responsibility is immediately torpedoed because he lost his love interest despite being realizing that it was necessary to correct things. Only when she comes back does he regain motivation. This becomes a direct contradiction to the development that Yukiteru took into becoming an active character. He devolves immediately into his dependence on Yuno for motivation.

You could compare this to NGE, which seems to be what the author wanted anyway since they both have a depressed protagonist who “grows up” in the course of messy relationships with girls and authority figures set against a background of apocalypse. They both even have the silver-haired homoerotic male friend with divine knowledge who shows up late in the series as a character motivator for the protagonist. Anyway, whether or not you like Shinji Ikari as a character (I do not), his story follows a linear progression toward the end. He starts as someone with little sense of purpose or belonging and dependency on the affirmation of others, but ends up with the ultimate position of “I want to live in this world.” That final state is a powerful statement of just how far the character has come. Mirai Nikki doesn’t have this. Instead it moves past the character’s resolution and completion of the thematic progression in favor of doubling on the codependency that necessitated the early character state. The protagonist’s development was taken back so that he could still need the yandere girlfriend and they could be together in the end.

So what would have been the proper conclusion to Yukiteru’s thematic progression? It would be the role of an active observer. Throughout the story he becomes privy to the trauma of his friends (especially Yuno) and the many evils of the world that led people to act horribly. Then he was given the power of god by winning the battle royale. The natural progression then would be that he recedes into the background as before but now with the knowledge and influence to fix the problems that burdened the world around him. Instead of shutting down and shutting out things, he would return to his original position of being unseen and only seeing others, yet now with the maturity and capabilities to do something in that role. This carries his resolution from the final arc forward into the epilogue with satisfying consistency. Maybe then after he does all that you could justify bringing Yuno back, but honestly it would be better if she wasn’t even aware of what he does behind the scenes at that point.

That’s a long-winded way to fully articulate why I felt that Mirai Nikki just completely fell flat in the end. This wasn’t even failure to execute, but it was an active deconstruction of what the story seemed to be trying to achieve. All in favor of maintaining the OTP or whatever.

[nightseeye]

Breathe (If You Still Can Hope To)

ao3 link

Their vision was wavering, darkness creeping in around the edges. What little they could see was blurred, everything gleaming red as - they could've sworn those were closer - distant alarms blared. Faintly, they could hear something struggling for air. Someone walked towards them. Red? Orange? Maybe Yellow? It was hard to tell exactly, but it certainly was a warmly colored suit, considering how it blended in with the lights. They tried to get up, only their fingers twitching for their effort, but still they tried.

The person came closer, closer, and closer 'till all they could make out were the boots in front of their face. They still couldn't make out a color. The person apparently decided to roll them over, because now they could see the ceiling - blurry, of course - and the little plant sticking out the other's helmet.

Orange, then. Red would never take off her beloved tophat, and Yellow wasn’t ever fun enough to put on a hat, no matter how hard the crew all tried to convince him. Something wheezed quietly. Their fingers once again twitched feebly as they tried to move, to get up, to do anything except lay on the floor. No dice.

"-alive?"

It seemed Orange was saying something. But it was hard to listen when they were so tired. 

"-didn't know it'd be like this---lert on my tablet”

Orange was rambling about something, like vey always did when vey were excited. Or nervous. They had no idea what vey could be excited about, and it was hard to wonder why when the darkness in their vision started creeping in again.

"-to decide how to do it! I've never done th-"

Orange started picking them up, slinging their limp arm over veir shoulders. Their stomach churned ominously as vey stood, the sudden change in perspective nauseating. The quiet little gasps of something fighting to breathe continued, making them wonder if there was anything they could do to help. Or at least to make it stop.

"-anyone, I really, really couldn't. So Oxygen seemed-"

Their head lolled off of Orange's shoulders as the two of them - well, just Orange, really. They couldn't manage more than the twitch of their fingers - moved. Where? They had no clue. They could barely see anything anymore, Orange's voice the only thing keeping them awake. Even then, it was a close battle they were starting to lose. Even the desperate breathing noises started to quiet down.

It was getting harder to think. They blinked slowly and-

"-an ok level by myself. I don't think---hoping you'll be ok."

Gentle hands tugged off their helmet and pulled a mask over their face. The darkness receded, if only by a little bit, but enough to give them back some semblance of awareness. They felt themself being buckled into a seat.

" 'nge-?" They slurred, looking their crewmate in the face. Visor. Orange still had veir helmet on. 

Vey looked startled to hear them, pausing veir careful patdown to look at them.

"-ake? I'm glad. Thank goodness the dropship---gen supply."

Thoughts growing clearer with each passing breath, they jolt, remembering what happened. The trip had been going fine despite the announcement of an imposter on board, had seemed to be going fine. Then, things had started going strangely, doors slamming shut and lights going off, but no one died so they didn't worry too much about it. They had thought at was just someone playing a prank, - Blue, probably. He was a hell of a prankster when he got up to it, - a little something to liven up the monotony of space travel. Honestly, they had welcomed it! Even a game of cards had gotten boring after awhile.

Then, systems started failing.

Oxygen was first. They remembered rushing to admin, inputting in the code to fix it. They had made it in time. They remember voting off Green for standing idly in navigation, or so Purple had yelled, slamming her hand on the table. He wasn't the Imposter. They remember voting out Purple, afterwards. She wasn't, either.

They remember Orange skipping both votes. 

They didn't think much of it. Orange was always friendly, always kind to everyone in the crew. They knew it must've hurt vem to see friends thrown out into the merciless grasp of space.

Next was the Reactor, and they remembered the pulsing thing that powered the ship glow threateningly as they stood in the room, a hand pressed on the scanner as they prayed for someone to reach the other one in time. They remember seeing crewmates scramble into the room, they even remember Orange tripping over one of the lights in veir hurry. It wasn’t funny at the time, but they laughed about it later. They remember screaming at Yellow during that meeting for… something. They don't remember for what, but no one got shoved out the airlock.

After that it became a pattern. Oxygen went off, then Reactor, then Oxygen again. It became normal, a routine event, even. The crew relaxed. They became complacent. There was always someone to fix it, afterall. 

One day, they heard the alarms for Oxygen sound out. It should've been Reactor, they remember idly thinking. They remember ignoring the alarms; they knew someone else would get it, and security's wires were so, annoyingly tangled.

They remember wondering why the alarms hadn't quieted yet, as they worked on unknotting a particularly stubborn ball of wires. They remember wondering why the world had started to sway, why their fingers started fumbling over a task they've done a thousand times before.

They remember wondering… why couldn’t they breathe.

"There."

All this time, as they remembered, Orange had been moving, pressing buttons and entering something into the dropship's software. Now vey stood, brushing nonexistent dust off their pants, and stepping back out into the Wester. They still couldn't move much, but they manged to follow veir movements. Orange caught their eye, and gave them a half hearted shrug, fidgeting with veir gloves.

"I…" Vey laughed, with a voice full of tears, "I'll be fine. I don't really need oxygen like you all do."

With that, the liar shut the door and walked away. Minutes later, they felt the dropship rumble as it detached from the Wester, and sped away. Though the darkness mostly receded from their vision, they were exhausted, and the quiet dark between the stars soon lulled them to sleep.

---

Orange watched the dropship disappear into deep space, and sighed as vey turned back to the ship. [OXYGEN levels: 1%] blared in the corner of veir visor, an alert long since turned beyond useless. Vey wandered the halls a ghost, the bright red of the alarm lights washing away veir suit's color. Orange became nothing more than blank canvas that the bodies vey found, and collected, popped out against. It took several trips before vey found them all.

Orange named, and counted: Black and Brown, Yellow and Red, White and Blue. Six different people out of ten the crew. Six different people of the nine vey once knew.

Six similar corpses, bodies starved by the very air they needed to live.

Even if Orange hadn't strangled each one vemself, it had certainly felt like it when vey had watched White and Red drop dead on the cameras. Had heard Black wheezing for air when vey passed by Electric. Had seen Yellow frantically attempt to punch in numbers until he too, collapsed, while vey watched from the entrance to Admin. It certainly felt like it.

Now the crew all sat, propped against the table, as Orange stared at their bodies. A 'ping' from veir tablet, discarded on the floor, startled vem.

'VICTORY'

laid in bright blue, cheerful letters across the screen.

Orange couldn't help but remember the look that Lime had given vem as vey shattered veir tablet across the floor. Vey couldn’t help but remember the question in their eyes Vey hadn't quite lied. The fact that vey could still stand despite the [OXYGEN levels: .01%] stamped across their visor was quite proof enough of that.

But Orange shuddered, voice thick with grief as vey quietly told the truth that no one was left to hear: "No… You wouldn't want to ride with a murderer."