#since shes like the only person i can actually talk to irl about serious life stuff anymore
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i stayed up so late cuz ive been really frustrated lately and now im just perma awake
#its just cuz this entire year has been one gut punch after the other but im okay right now#i talked to my roommates about life stuff and childhood trauma so i feel better now#shes moving out soon and im really going to miss her#since shes like the only person i can actually talk to irl about serious life stuff anymore#and thats something ive always really appreciated in a person and it just makes me sad that i wont have thst anymore
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been learning about radical feminism in the past year and i have completely reevaluated my beliefs about gender ideology. now im just so stuck on the idea of, how can identifying as another gender not be fundamentally regressive, sexist, and upholding gender norms? how can men just identify out of oppression? but now idk what to do holding these beliefs because truly all my friends would have serious issues with me if i were ever to voice this. in fact, i have close friends who are trans, and there are many trans people in my wider social circle (one of whom specifically made me so uncomfortable in a "female" space that it contributed to me unlearning my previous beliefs abt gender ideology). i attend a super liberal university where in a recent english class my professor even made a comment about jk rowling being an evil terf now.
i feel like i'm walking around with a dirty secret. i feel like i can't discuss these ideas with anyone irl, not even my girlfriend. it would fundamentally change her view of me as she as an incredibly vocal trans ally. i could see her breaking up with me for these beliefs; i could see many friends distancing themselves from me. i'm just wondering how you navigate a social world like this with radfem beliefs ahhhh
i feel you on the “dirty secret” aspect! i can try to give some advice since i’m in a very similar situation (minus the fact i live in a conservative area.)
due to my appearance (i’m visibly gay) i usually only attract TRA & ‘queer’ types to me. my friends are all TRA or some variant of “genderqueer.” i only have one friend ive been able to confide my beliefs to, and she’s more a closet conservative type so we really only agree on trans issues. I will say, if you can find even one person that you can speak freely with it’ll be a huge weight off your chest. Whenever I see this one friend we both just ramble because we can finally talk about shit that we can’t comfortably talk about with anyone else.
the way i’ve gone about managing my friendships with TRAs is to simply never bring up trans (or controversial radfem) topics. i avoid it like the plague, will change topic, and if directly questioned on something i will play the dumb and innocent role, aka just pretending to not understand but intend as coming from a good place. you should evaluate which of your friendships putting up this facade will be worth it, because it gets exhausting fast. i have some trans friends, but they’re all the “genderfluid/nonbinary AFAB who goes by any pronouns” type who present extremely feminine at all times, never even push the boundaries of gender expression honestly which is funny. (literally theyfabs lol) They dont care that i always use she/her and they honestly never bring up gender stuff with me. these type of girls aren’t too bad to be around as i feel they’re not as far gone as some TIPs are who actually take the steps to transition, etc. Being around a hardcore TIF or TIM might be a more difficult friendship to maintain.
Regarding your significant other, you should consider if this is a breaking point in your relationship. For me it’s not since my gf was generally uninformed about trans issues like the dangers of males in womens prisons, unfairness in sports, why oppressed is sex based and not gender based, etc. We’ve had discussions about this, where i explained my reasoning for being against these issues & she actually ended up agreeing after I showed her the facts. She’s still ‘pro-trans’ but is much more reasonable about it & thinks majority trans people just wanna live their life (which who can argue with that!) If this type of open conversation isn’t something you think could be achievable with your gf, you guys might just not be compatible.
It sounds like you live in a very liberal area & so my advice to you would be to see if there’s any radical feminist organizations near you. I think finding other people who think the same as you will help you feel less guilty. It’ll probably be hard since most radfems are secretive about their beliefs (for obvious reasons lol) but i’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.
#rad fem#radical feminism#radblr#female separatism#terfblr#terfsafe#gender critical#radical feminist safe#radical feminists do interact#radical lesbian
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my thoughts re: how did dan and phil kiss in october and still not start dating until december? from @omatone-dnp's post here :)
i'm sorry in advance for how much forbidden material i'm bringing up here, i feel bad about it which is why i'm putting it under the cut so i can delete this if i want to
so obviously we know they talked online & on skype for months before they decided to meet up in person, and they were heavyyy on the flirting. but we also know that these online spaces were the only places dan and phil were able to be 100% openly queer, so it's natural that they both put on a persona to some extent. this was the time for them to explore who they were & who they wanted to be. dan says he assumed phil would be this super confident smooth guy but then he was awkward and dorky irl, and it was kind of the reverse for phil about dan.
phil might have felt a lot of pressure to be a good example considering he was older, he was someone dan liked on youtube, and phil was one of, if not the first, gay man dan had met. but phil didn't have much romantic experience (...his heart had never done the flippy over thing..............) so i can imagine he felt even more scared of screwing things up. we know he was super nervous the day they met and that he didn't make the first move. i think he wanted to leave that to dan because 1. he didn't know if dan actually liked him or if he was just confused, and 2. he wanted to go at dan's pace for the reasons i mentioned above. we also know that phil had a hard time verbalizing his emotions / understanding them, so he might have wanted to go slower on the romance front too, so he could have time to process everything. he talked quite a bit about how he didn't know where he wanted to go in his life, feeling lost without being in school anymore, and that his family was pressuring him to sort his life out. that's a lot to deal with all at once and adding a serious relationship on top of that can be hard.
for dan, i think the early days were more about finding inner confidence in himself than they were about purposely forming a long term relationship. phil is the one who encouraged dan to make youtube videos, which he'd dreamed about but never thought he would be good enough. phil made him feel safer than he'd felt since he was a tiny child. he introduced him to other queer people and then to his family, who welcomed dan with love (though we don't know how much they actually knew at the time). it was more than just romantic!! it was something dan really needed! :(
at this time, both of them were constantly talking about how they're trying to figure out what to do with their lives, with dan being in his gap year and phil being fresh out of college. it was a transitional period for both of them in very different ways. they weren't even sure if they were going to meet irl, they kept going back and forth about the train tickets for a few months before dan finally bought one. i think as soon as he bought it, he decided he was going to shoot his shot and worry about everything else later.
also, dan was in a relationship with his girlfriend for 3 years, and while we don't know when or how they broke up, he has some tweets indicating that they were still together in 2009 when he began talking to phil online, or at least that dan was still conflicted about the breakup. let me clarify that i'm not saying dan cheated, none of us have any idea what happened and it seems more like their relationship came to a natural conclusion when she moved away for uni, along with all of dan's irl friends which he talked about frequently. i'm more so bringing this up because it marks a shift in how dan talked about love and relationships.
for example, all of these tweets happened in october 2009, right before he met up with phil:
but fast forward to THAT week in december and dan has a completely different perspective on love:
this is the main reason why december makes so much more sense to me as their anniversary. october was about taking a leap of faith even though both of them were afraid of getting it wrong. november was about testing the waters and figuring out how they could logistically make things work, while they were building their bond. december was about finally letting go of all those fears in the pursuit of a happier future for both of them ;-;
#sorry it took me so long to write this probably no one gaf anymore#but i'm still here 😭#this is so heavy on dan's feelings because he could not stop tweeting to save his lifeeeee and it's harder to guess how phil felt#but i tried based on what we do know#titspoilers#technically?#*
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What do you think were the biggest missed opportunities when it came to the OC?
Lol my favorite topic (this is not at all exhaustive)
Not letting Marissa verbalize and process her trauma 1000% forever and ever amen. The show learns by the end of s1 that they can keep hurting her without much recompense. Oliver holds a gun to her head and bamboozles grown ass adults yet she shoulders all of the blame in the aftermath. Christ. Her father MOVES AWAY TO BE A BETTER PARENT BC HE CANT STOP SLEEPING WITH HIS EX? Please. How anyone came up with that and thought that was good writing I will never know. Marissa's SA'ed and nearly r**** by her boyfriend's brother and never says the words out loud or processes it because the shooting looms larger. Disgusting. Back in s1 Luke is more apologetic of his affair than Marissa's own mother is and HE'S the one who has to leave town? which leads me to
Getting rid of Luke made no sense. Instead of making Luke/Julie happen they should've had Luke/Marissa 2.0 happen. There was so much there to mine. Sometimes the show acts like they were a nothing relationship and other times like 109 we see they have deep-rooted love/fondness. Rushing RM (though they're my loves) after their 101-108 slow burn shot them in the foot since they were so uncreative later on. But then again TPTB were so reliant on the actors' mirrored personal lives that I'm convinced if they'd put RM off to s2 they would've butchered them thanks to the irl breakup. (This is still so insane)
Getting rid of Anna also made no sense. She was liked by the gen pop, she had good chemistry with everyone! What a damn waste
Seth/Marissa friendship!!!! It is so cute to think Seth is the one boy in Marissa's life that isn't falling all over her. They share the same music tastes, they have the same favorite book, they grew up privileged + depressed, they're neighbors, they're dating each other's besties, their families have a storied closeness, they've dated the same person, etc. It is SO insane how little they actually interact.
Not exploring the Jimmy/Kirsten dynamic more. I rewatched the pilot a few months ago and the hints to their history are so compelling. I remember thinking their tension was good enough to last several seasons. Cutting that out to uphold the sanctity of SK in s1 ended up being for nothing since s2 messed with SK even worse! So why!
Never utilizing Alan Dale well enough. Not only do they kill him for no reason, his death literally does nothing but give us an iconic coda and funeral scene. That's literally it. Having Caleb around while Kirsten goes to rehab is so much more compelling than having her go after he's died. And making us watch Caleb/Lindsay/Ryan for what seems like half a season is so unbelievably boring and ridiculous. Why are we supposed to care. This is taking away from Kirsten/Caleb material! which brings me to
Never giving Kelly Rowan much to do. What a goddamn waste. She absolutely kills her late s2 arc but then she leaves rehab two minutes into 301 and the Charlotte storyline mostly revolves around Julie. Jesus. People talk about the favoritism going on on that set with the younger actors (as they 1000% should and we should do it more), but there was some serious shit going on with elevating Melinda constantly and shafting Tate/Peter/Kelly forever. Especially Kelly. At least she was there and not essentially let go like Tate was (and Tate was a ~big name~ regular from the pilot!). But you can tell Kelly's got some feelings about how the show went for her and her screentime/importance.
Not cutting the Johnny storyline two minutes into filming 304. They had to know Mischa/Ryan D had no chemistry. We're supposed to believe Marissa's having some sort of emotional affair but there is absolutely nothing showing that to us. It's everyone telling Marissa she's got feelings for him, and Mischa doing her job well enough to convince us it's sketchy/complicated, but they have one (1) conversation in 306 that's mostly about Johnny's father or uncle that no one cares about. which brings me to
WE DONT CARE ABOUT GUEST STARS. stop spending so much valuable time on them. we just wanna see our s1 babes being cute and supporting one another that's literally it
#ask#anonymous#there are a million other things#how about they let this teenage girl breathe for a minute (real and otherwise)
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OK- I'm gonna be honest. I like MyStreet, but not as a show. More as a minecraft story series in general if that makes sense. (not comparing it to MCD in this bc its been waaay too long since ive watched MCD for me to actually write abt it like this)
srry if this is annoying lol, long post.
Some disclaimers!! A lot of these r assumptions btw! Pls do not take these things as 100% fact, this is just how i saw things/"theories". This is also not an attack on Jess, i dont have the authority to judge someone as a person and I dont claim to. these are very strictly my opinions on Mystreet, not Jess as a person. It's hard to take the early seasons very seriously considering its origins as essentially a tropey, slice-of-life version of MCD, and these tropes continue on throughout the series until (i can only assume) Jess went "oh, we're making this more serious, and if the series is more serious, these tropes (Travis being an anime perv, Katelyn being an anime tsundere, Nana's whole thing..) make certain characters unlikeable/weird/problematic/whatever else so we'll just write them out" (Travis confronting Katelyn, the whole Nana Ashida reveal).
While these are occasionally done well, to me it just seems like Jess trying to write out the tropey or bad things that came from the earliest versions of the characters without actually IRL addressing the initial issue with their design (with Nana even dating back as far as MCD, with her first appearance being 5 months before the the start of MyStreet. I'm counting the whole "Kawaii-chan" thing as problematic here bc to me it's.. weird.. but idk, im willing to be educated on that if im wrong!) maybe she doesnt NEED to address some of the character design choices irl but I feel like itd be better to clarify things (I could be wrong). There's a lot of earlier creative decisions (especially with things played as jokes) that don't help with the tone as the series became more and more serious, and even some things in those more serious seasons that were really questionable, and I often feel like I have to just decide which parts of certain episodes are canon or non canon because of things like that. Don't get me wrong, it's very good for something that started out with the technology that it did, but in my opinion it just doesn't really reach "show" quality to me. It leaves a lot to wish for. (I know that there are TV shows that have the same problems, but i wouldnt even bother watching them normally because they dont have the saving grace that is the fact that this is in Minecraft, a charming style of storytelling that kept me interested even when I had these major criticisms about the actual content of the story.) Anyways sorry for incoherent babbling! ^^; Just had to get that onto paper to see if I'm just being crazy or something. I know I might not be right about all (or even most) of the things I said here but thats just how it came across to me. Of course this might not fully convey what i mean to say or even say it in the right way, maybe eventually ill talk more abt this somewhere(I had other things I wanted to talk abt but was scared to) but im too nervous to say it without the safety of anonymity rn haha. I'm open to other opinions, learning, etc. especially if i said something in this post that was problematic or already disproven! /genuine A/N: srry abt forgetting that The Big Move came out before MyStreet (i never watched it unfortunately, probably wouldve mentioned it in the main part if I knew but I dont think it subtracts too much from what im trying to say) & for the overuse of the word problematic, I literally did not know how else to put it :,]
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#I do think I generally agree with ur point here (tho I only skimmed so I may be misinterpreting)#but I do think a lot of early jokes and tropes end up problematic because of the tonal shift#aphmau confessions#aphmau#aphblr#aphverse#aphmau mystreet#mystreet#jesson tag#🤭
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‘If you have questions the asks are open’ you know what I’m about to ask about o7, beautiful woman and her man who has never combed his hair. Or tbh any of your other wips I like hearing people talk about their wips :3c
(I was half tempted to just dm you but you said asks so ask it is >:))
erika, you've given me the amazing opportunity to rant about my wips/fics so i am going to utilize it. i'll tell you about the beautiful woman and her man who has never combed his hair first, and everything else below the cut (for context, here is that wip summary poll). :DDDDDD
beautiful woman and her man who has never combed his hair this is my wag au for the fest!!!! i have talked to many a friend (including you) about this wip, and everyone seems to be very excited which i am happy about :)) basically, it's loscar with trans girl logan as the wag. they're very sweet and in love and it is simultaneously annoying and adorable to all of their friends. the main cast also includes max fewtrell (my beloved) as oscar's teammate at mclaren, lando norris as logan's bestie and max's wag, fred vesti as the most amazing supportive friend anyone could ask for, and a few other things that i am still working out (lawnsonoda is a very real thing that may or may not be included in this fic). i plan for it to be a semi linear narrative, by having the 2023 f1 season as the main thing but with flashbacks, social media, and other things sprinkled throughout. you have seen some of my outrageous planning and this will be a behemoth when i am done. i'm so excited!!!!!
gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss, george russell <3 imagine with me: george russell was born georgiana russell. so she's like if irl george was 50 times more neurotic and worried about what people thought of her. it will also be secret relationship gax (gasp... tuser gaxpodium writing gax... crazy...) and overprotective girl dad toto.
can the ghost of enzo ferrari fix my relationship? catholicism and being italian go hand in hand, so we're translating that religious fervor into f1. teams have a patron god (usually someone important to that brand or team) and surprise surprise, enzo ferrari is the patron god of the scuderia ferrari f1 team. your fealty and worship to your patron god will greatly impact your race results. this is angst central, with deeply heavy lore, so it will take me a while. and it focuses mainly on sewis and charlos (and how they deal with the whole "ferrari chewed me up and spit me out and you're still worshiping him" thing)
first a fan, then a teammate, then things got really mushy anyone else deeply impacted by leaf's dando video edit to "love of my life" by harry styles? no, only me? but i'm serious, this is entirely based on my visceral and life-changing reaction to that video. it changed me as a person...
uptight british bitch versus kind-of-rude dutch dickhead actually the first bit of rpf i ever wrote. it started as an assignment for my fiction 1 class (crazy...) and will probably be pretty short when i actually post it (no more than 10k words probably). it's a two part canon compliant gax fic, one part from george's perspective and one from max's. there's not much to say about this one since there's very little planning for it lol
what if three guys were in love but they were all stupid about it? it's geochalex. i feel like this should be obvious for me, but the three guys who are stupid and in love? geochalex. my notes rn for this fic mainly consist of the words "geochalex miscommunication!!!!!!!" so like yeah, that's the stupid right there
there are a few other wips/ideas that i forgot about when making the poll including a chalex apocalypse au that is inspired by the last of us (and also written for my fiction 1 class)
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oh I'm ranting again. but ig by now you guys know that I can't keep my mouth shut. so to add to the list of all the apparently unpopular opinions that I have...
I don't actually think role play (rp) (and real people fanfic (rpf)) is bad, not if it's characters, and also not if it's celebrities.
"How can you say that? What's wrong with you?" I mean, there's plenty wrong with me but not here. Especially not here. I'm aware of my "controversial" takes when it comes to fandom, but honestly, the only reason you find them controversial (if you do) is because you haven't been in fandom long enough. Which, I will grant, is difficult if you are 1. not old enough to know better 2. are in a fandom that is rather young, like OBX is. But telling people what to do and not to do, simply based on you not wanting to see it, is simply and clearly an act of censorship. Now I'm not saying that it equates to the censorship our governments are trying to put on us in online communities (especially in the US recently) but it lays a ground for the politicians to base their argument on. Because when you go and spread around that some things "shouldn't be done" and "shouldn't be written" and "shouldn't be drawn" that creates a base layer of what politicians will take and say "see, they want us to censor them" and that is never ever good. bc it might at first be role play and "dead dove, do not eat" types of content, but it will really quickly lead to the banning of queer content, and I won't fucking stand for that.
so, yes, you might cringe at RP and other things, but you also have the possibility to simply block those accounts, to block the tags to filter your own online experience, especially on tumblr since it's the only truly user friendly social media site that we have left.
and on the fact of people bringing up Chappell Roan in this discussion. Chappell very clearly said that she feels uncomfortable irl bc it happens IN HER REAL LIFE. if she cared about people just talking online about her without any irl reason for it, she would've said that. but she didn't. she was rightfully pissed that people approached her irl and didn't take no for and answer and only after that they went online and talked shit about her. this is entirely different to RP. (it also reminds me how straight people forced Kit Connor to come out and then blamed queer people for it, when no queer person ever made him feel the need to come out because we accepted him even when he was in the public closet)
RP is clearly tagged as such, the people who do it are very much aware that it's a game, and not real. if you can't make that distinction, that's on you. not the person who RPs or the people who interact with the RP.
side note: if RPing is bad, why are you watching historical dramas based on real people? why is it okay for the industry to make bank on the lives of dead AND living people, but a normal person can't do the same without getting paid? maybe you should also think about that, because it's literally the same. y'all watched Elvis and Bohemian Rhapsody and The Crown and so many more shows and movies that are based on real people but aren't what actually happened 100% and that is okay, but when fandom does it you want it to be wrong and a moral failure? get a grip.
there's a clear line between fiction and reality and it's not the creator's fault for you to go and blurr that line because you don't understand the rules. RP and RPF have been part of fandom culture since the beginning, and just because you don't like it, doesn't mean it will go away, because there's nothing wrong with it.
just do with RP/RPF what you do with more important things in our daily lives, more serious matters. Look Away. bc clearly you are good at it any times else.
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Hiya lovelies !
So this is actually an alt account, a place where I can go completely feral.. My main is @toastyliltoasts41 and I mostly write for a fandom called Foolish Crew (Socksfor1, Fatmemegod, Blazaplays, Tbhonest, Joocie and etc)..
But on this account, I plan to be posting fanfictions about Wilbur Soot, Quackity and whatever really comes to my mind..
Maybe even BBC Merlin, Who knows ? (Mainly since these three fandoms, considering Wilbur and Quackity as one 'mcyt' fandom, are my absolute life)
So, without further ado, lets establish some boundaries.. (Pls dont come after me for this being cringe lmao since I dont have this sorta thing even for my main account lol)
• NSFW accounts, Please dni
As Im still a minor and Im still not comfortable with anything that's not SFW.. Its also kinda creepy to interact with one so, no..
• No racism, homophobia or hate to anyone at all..
It's strictly prohibited and will not be tolerated in any shape or form.. That also includes requests btw
• No creepy or personal questions please
Like the NSFW one but mostly about my personal life.. I write on here to not only express myself but to calm myself down in a way.. And receiving questions about myself, that are clearly not anyones business, is not the way anyone'll have a peaceful time on here, my friend.. Im talking about questions like "What's your IRL name" or "Where do you come from".. It just creeps me out a bit so please refrain from that.. You're always welcome to simply ask about where the boundary-line is, though, I'd be happy to talk about it and anything that doesnt cross it..
Maybe there's more to be added but lets skip to the okay/good parts now..
• Requests
Please I fucking love requests and even the smallest of interactions make me do the Tubbo 'Yipee'..
• Talk to me !
If anything is bothering you at all, you can always (if you're comfortable) talk to me about it.. Whether it was just a bad day or you're in a bad situation in life, you're absolutely welcome with open arms to have a chat..
• FANAAAART
Please, I BEG of you, never be ashamed to show anyone your art.. Im a pretty shit artist myself and I love drawing silly things but just straight out fanart hypes me up to write more about those characters.. It just shows me that these cool fanarts are literally the ones Im writing about so its basically like pride (?)
• Heavy topics ?
Im absolutely fine with violence, gore and dark topics sneaking its way into my fanfics.. Even alcohol is fine to a limit ! (As long as its nothing serious and these above topics are not inflicted gruesome-ly or a bit too much by characters in my story as it'll give the actual characters themselves a bad reputation)
• Pronouns
Im a female myself but I'll mostly use they/them in my stories to make in gender neutral.. Heads up if you wanted to make an amab request, Im genuinely sorry but I wont write in anything other than she/her or they/them pronouns.. Im concerned that I'll end up offending someone since I dont really know much about the community.. So, unless you hint at it or request me to use she/her pronouns, I will only be writing as they/them
Maybe I'll add a bit more when I remember lmao-
Anyway, Here's a bit about who I am and what I'll write about:
My online name is Sophie, although Im thinking about changing it, so you can just adress me as Soph.. I go by she/her and, as I already established before lmao, Im a minor.. My life's burning down to the ashes of hell (lol ik Im dramatic, bear with me) most of the time so I wrote stories, and read other's, as a coping mechanism.. I will most likely not see your dm's/requests for a few hours, or even days, or Ill do the complete opposite and reply to them within minutes lmao.. I still have my own studies to complete so I dont think I'll write requests the very same day, Im not sure myself..
I take almost all requests other than smut..
Angst
Fluff
Romantic
Platonic
AU's
You name it man..
Aaaaaanyway, Here's who I'll write for:
~ C!Wilbur (Every bursona too, I am just infatuated with them)
~ C!Quackity (Yes, absolutely but as long as it doesnt cross any of his boundaries)
~ C!Karl Jacobs
~ C!Ranboo
~ C!Tubbo
[As mentioned above, as long as these are within their boundaries and consent]
and on a different fandom:
~ Merlin (MERLIN MY BELOVED)
~ Arthur Pendragon
~ Lancelot cuz yes (But Im not very motivated to write for him)
~ Maybe some platonic with Morgana (BECAUSE SHE'S NOT EVIL, SCREW YOU DIRECTOR) and Gwen
So this is mostly it for now, Ill update this whenever I remember lol.. Bye bye for now !
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Ace Rant (PART 1(?))
The internet has made it so pitifully embarrassing for me to be a man. Now I'm in a permanent subconscious state of that.
I never was the "guy who sits at the girls' table" in school but frankly, I SHOULD'VE been. Especially now.
Okay actually, I was that guy for like ONE MONTH in middle school and that's because I almost hooked up with one ginger girl and I merged with her friend group for a short period of time.
(Have I ever mentioned my favorite color's gold? That might have done it)
Unironically, the absolute best period of my life was at that time. Y'know, aside from the fact that I had short hair and looked like a perfectly-mowed lawn that is somehow covered in weeds. A little context with this girl though: It was 6th grade, 1st semester I was a depressed ass and then 2nd semester I felt super revitalized once I started having a crush on her. In the midst of probably the most nerve-wracking-to-instant-gratification experience I'll ever have in my life, I told her I liked her and in a very awkward response she said she liked me a bit earlier in the year and would think about it. There was a ton of buildup to this confession on my part through the early part of the semester but it's not important to shill my exciting middle-school-crush-drama tale right now.
(OH YEAH, AND THIS WAS ALL AROUND HER FRIENDS BY THE WAY)
The next couple months were LITERAL heaven. But not for the reason you might think. The next day we spent like 15 minutes in class talking about it to each other. She decided she liked me but wasn't comfortable with a relationship.
But OH MAN, this is where things get best, actually.
I don't think I'll EVER be lucky enough to experience something like this again. Both because I'm an introvert with no IRL friends atm, and because I'd need the perfect person for this to work out for me.
What happened was we entered this incredible (incredible for me at least) middleground between the friendzone and dating. We hung out in school all the time, ate at lunch, etc. We went together to this party-type thing our school held every semester and it was probably the best couple hours of my life. She got me into my whole finger-knitting gig too. I MADE a bracelet for her (now I only make them for a literal stuffed animal). The only time I've had someone's hand to hold since that day was freshman high school year when I was friends with a junior girl in marching band. In fact, it was really the 1st time I ever held someone's hand.
You probably don't even understand the psychological boon this was to me. We both KNEW and ACKNOWLEDGED we liked each other - established that cutesy level of intimacy middle schoolers can have - but we acted like friends otherwise. I don't even know how to explain it. It was like having a *deluxe* friend. More than a friend though - it felt like THAT person. THE person. Without a relationship, there was a remarkable amount of freedom I felt. We could've done whatever we wanted if we wanted to do whatever. This, in my mind, is the perfect "relationship"/friendship for me. But I don't think it'll ever happen.
The reason this is so unlikely now is because, well, let's think about the basic requirements. I'd need to find a girl who...
LIKES ME (lol)
Is not concerned with getting into a serious relationship
Is possibly ace but NOT aro
Not even to mention I have to like THEM
And they have to be willing to cater towards my specific needs in this for an extended period of time without it conflicting with theirs.
Yeah.
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@bonesby I probably did this wrong, but here ya go
🎱 - 0, I literally have no finished works to even post
🍓 - I have not posted any works yet. But basically no one was writing the stories I was looking for. I also have great ideas and suck at making characters for said ideas.
🌵 - Might be my own👀 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OueUGpDtDuRAFljBrZJtn?si=Moy5y7aRSguNXYxFoQpDaA&pi=u-JFkaI__xQo2Y
🕯 - Friends works: 9/10. I like helping them out and being one of the first to read their works, plus they're both stupid good at writing
My Works: 2/10, I'm my own worst enemy. I recently went back to edit a wip and am very close to deleting the whole thing and rewriting it.
🛼 - 🔫🗡🔪🥷💣
🥑 - @bonesby & @louisapennyfeather2021
🥤- 0KKULTiC : We Would Be Savage series on ao3
inexperiencedandconfused8 on ao3
GoAwayOlivia : Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw on ao3
I have many suggestions
💌 - 0 actually
🌻 - Literally anyone who follows me
🐇 - If yall ever catch me writing reader inserts, just know I did it as a joke and Hell must've froze over
🧃 - I am asthmatic
🎲 - Lack of motivation
🍄 - NOT A SHIP, but Dick Grayson 100% eats cheerios by picking them up with his tongue and Jason hardcore judges him for it even tho Jason does the same thing with chips cause he refuses to get his fingers cheesy.
🧸 - Talk to me and dont stop talking to me no matter how awkward things get. I'm very bad at keeping up communications.
🪐 - One of my goats finally had her babies, I finally get to bring my other goat home from the hospital, I dont have to bottle feed anything yet.
📚 - This prompt
🍬 - I'm not educated enough for this
🔪 - The explicit details on the different sections of the human spine and how all of them function and which parts of the body would be affected depedning on which part of the spine was damaged. Also retail store security tags.
🦷 - You can only heat something up twice before it starts to make you sick
❄️ - Literally anything found family, I'm such a sucker for that. Anyone could write it good honestly.
🌿 - Change the space you're writing in. If you're writing in your bedroom, go to a different room. Change up the environment.
🥐 - "crazy, I was crazy once..."
🏜 - Have not received any cause have not posted any
🍦 - I GUESS he is loyal, he got better at communicating, and hes not AS horrible as before
🥝 - Not really, its more of a waste of breath to lie a lot. I did lie to my Grandpa about my goat's vet bill
🦋 - The fucking quote of "Farming teaches you how to be totally responsible and completely useless"
🦴 - Literally anything found family. Im a sucker for that
🍅 - The character's responses and reactions need to change and be more thought out for the scene. It doesn't match who they are. The entire situation is written okay, but definitely not the best and can be improved.
🐚 - In story writing, surprises are great. Irl, no.
🪲 - [ Hiding and watching in the shadows of the setting sun, he could make Alchemy, Arachne, and Wendigo. With the sight of them came another pang of worry. Who would help heal them when they got injured on patrol? Granted all of them were very careful, but slip ups happen. There were one or two other vigilantes and allies that could help, but he worried they wouldn’t be able to do much when it came to the bigger, more serious stuff. And Arachne? He hoped she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Maybe Alchemy could keep a close eye on her. ]
☁️ - Literally the name I've had since the dawn of time. Its just a play on the word "animal".
🐝 - @bonesby : the bestest person someone could have in their life. Literally you have not won anything if you dont have someone like them.
@louisapennyfeather2021 : Everyone needs someone like them in their corner. They're like the devil on my shoulder except they're constantly trying to keep me from doing dumb shit.
🌸 - Too many. Pics below. In order: Dakota, Charlie, Octavian, Augustus, Tommy, Dillion, Ponk, Maverick, Nora, Oakapi. I have more goats if anyone's interested💀
🎨 - I dont even have any rn, I wouldn't be able to find the ones I used to love, but I know it was Percy Jackson.
🧩 - A lot. Specifically certain smut tags. Porn without plot. Too many smut tags. Incest. There's a lot, and I usually dont know until I see it
Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game
🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats 🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now? 🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
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Since I’m here I might as well rant, since I don’t have any irls here or a character limit
The living situation with my mom hasn’t really improved through the move, to say the least. During the move it was like I’d just BREATHE wrong and she’d get so mad… it’s calmed down a little bit but not much. It still feels like walking on eggshells around her a lot. I try to do something the way I want it (sometimes even in my own room, mind you) and she gets mad I didn’t do it her way! Like what the actual fuck is your problem?? I still accomplished a similar result get over it!! I know she’s frustrated with her job and such but so am I, and I don’t blow up at every little thing like she does. I still think she has something deeper going on that she is simply refusing to get help for and it’s honestly driving me away from her. Like I need to for real get some money saved so I can leave when the lease is up in July.
Speaking of money…. I’m scared to even go get my hair done because she’s gonna say it’s too expensive. I also wanna get a 2025 aurora tour in Alaska booked soon while there’s availability and I know she’s gonna have a cow because it’s not cheap.
She still has her awful road rage (is probably a part of her issues she has) and when we went to my uncles house in Orlando for new year’s she was getting mad at other people on EVERYTHING they were doing. When we went to look at Christmas lights she got mad and started screaming when there’d be a car behind us or meeting on a narrow street. Like it’s just not that serious please calm down.
One night I had heard noises while I was in the shower and was scared someone broke in so I locked my bedroom door the next night before I got in the shower and she got mad she couldn’t get in my room to be mad I didn’t get the list of stuff done (which, I had no idea there was a list, she didn’t leave it where I would easily see it).
She blares the tv and stupid TikTok instagram reels on her phone and gets REALLY mad when I NICELY ask her to lower the volume or turn it off because I’m trying to sleep. The sound echoes really bad into my room because there’s no carpet in the living room. It’s like if I disrupt her even one bit it’s like I killed somebody.
When I ordered my new bed (I needed something with a headboard because my bed is against a window, only way it would nicely fit) she got mad that the bed I liked came with the frame, then was annoyed that I paid about $100 extra to have it put together when it was delivered, I did that because the bed was on sale and also because I knew she’d gripe about having to help me put it together.
During the actual moving day she got mad at me for standing up for myself when I was tired of my (other) uncles dumb jokes at my expense. She legit made me feel guilty for standing my ground and not taking it. He was making my day worse and I decided I had enough.
She still gets mad at the cats, especially stingray, for just being cats, and I’m considering taking Sam AND stingray when I leave. She clearly has her favorite (sox) and the other two annoy her so why should I leave them?
I’m not sure myself if what I experience with my mom is classed as emotional abuse but whatever is going on she’s doubled down, especially since the move. That I know for sure.
And I just know it, when I’m getting ready to leave and like my dad is about to come, like flight booked and Uhaul rented, my mom is gonna pull some “talk” like she did in 2016 to get me to stay. It’s not gonna work this time. I’m not gonna stay somewhere I don’t feel appreciated and welcome. I’m not the same person I was in 2016, I do have more “adult” type of life experience, and you know what? I’m going to be 30, I want to get out and freely be the adult I am.
#long rant under the cut#like loooong#I’ve been holding all that in for so long#it kinda jumps around but what else is new
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something lgbt just happened to me (extreme emotional pain edition)
(ignore me I just need an internet void to scream in where she wont see it or read if you’re nosy and willing to be nice about it)
(also if anyone has any advice for how to not be so fucked up about the girl who is kinda your ex but not really (in the “never actually dated but we both had feelings and acted like it a lot” way) officially dating a new person for the first time since she shattered your heart into a million tiny pieces please dm me said advice this is 100% serious)
like we have all the same friends and it’s been over half a year so I feel weird talking to irl people about it. even I am surprised at how intensely the emotions punched me in the lungs when she told us she has a bf now. like cmon brain I knew we weren’t over this but I thought we were at least getting better.
also there’s the added fun layer of “her own internalized biphobia and biphobic family members made it so our connection was always laced with shame and repression and suffering anyway.” and now she gets to celebrate this moment with friends and family and do boy talk with her mom and ask her parents for advice about this guy she’s known for a couple months and have an easy friends to lovers arc with him. while I was stuck listening to her family coo over how she should get back with her ex bf once he transferred to our college while she and I were literally sleeping in the same bed the night before. but bc I’m not a guy ofc nothing could possibly have been going on there.
like you’re telling me I was in a years-long, will-they-won’t-they sufferfest where I was embarrassingly emotionally devoted to this person only for npc #3 to crawl out of the woodwork and get the instant stamp of approval for wanting to get to know her better and giving it the old college try?
and to be clear I’m not blaming her she feels how she feels and obviously the bi/homophobia is a societal/community level issue. it just sucks so bad to fall so deeply in love with someone over such a long time and have those feelings be treated less seriously because of things we can’t control. like just on top of the regular heartbreak of it all. and believe me the regular heartbreak of it all is more than enough for my little eggshell heart to handle.
and on a regular heartbreak level it also sucks because she’s a good person that I genuinely care about on a non-romantic level and still think very highly of. like our relationship wasn’t and still isn’t perfect but she’s one of the best people in my life and an objectively decent human being. so it’s not like I can even rationalize to myself “well it was toxic” (actually maybe the dynamic was but like SHE wasn’t a toxic person y’know) or “she treated me badly” or “she sucks so I’m better off now anyway.” like no she’s wonderful and her new bf is very lucky life just sucks sometimes.
did I mention she and I are still best friends and even though we live in different cities now which helps I still have to pretend to be totally 100% excited about this for the sake of being a good bestie? like god I love being a lesbian if I had to do life all over again and got a choice I would choose to be queer every single goddamn time. but this is the most painful shit I’ve ever felt in my life and that’s a pretty high bar at this point. especially since this is technically not my first heartbreak but it’s my first one since realizing I’m a lesbian and not bi and started having a lot of The Piercing Loneliness of Breaking Every Societal Expectation feelings about it. like I think my brain was unintentionally pulling a “maybe I’ll turn out normal-passing” on itself (which is total bullshit) for a while there. and even though I know that was bullshit coming to terms with being a lesbian was so much harder for me than coming to terms with being queer at all and everything related to it has just felt so much more intense since.
and on some level I’m also jealous bc she got out and can have a relationship she can celebrate and talk about with her family without fear and I can never have that. like bi people obviously go through so much shit and have a hard time getting both straight and gay people to take them seriously and as someone who lived that (in the “other people treated me like I was bi bc we all thought I was” sense) and thought that was who I was for 7 years I would never want to diminish that but oh my god being on the other side now I can understand how easy it is to let yourself get bitter. And I never want to be that person but at the same time speaking purely of my own experience it didn’t take me so long (2+ years) to figure out I was a lesbian because I just didn’t know like at some point deep down I knew especially near the end of my questioning era but I kept asking myself “well are you SURE?” because didn’t want to face the loneliness of it. Of closing the door on the last possible chance I had for my family and I to bond over something in a normal way for once. And coming out again was incredibly freeing but I also had to be willing to break my own heart to do it and the compounding heartbreak is just so much.
anyway if anyone is reading this I love you and I hope you’re having a better day than me. happy new year.
#repost bc I initially said this in the tags and went to like double the tag limit#which apparently exists#anyway happy new year yall#hope youre all having a better day than me#manifesting something better for us all in the new year
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i have NPD with avoidant traits. the issues from both diagnoses that cause the most impairment for me are my lack of empathy (NPD), interpersonally exploitative tendencies (also NPD), and rejection sensitivity (technically both, but predominantly AvPD).
my hypoempathy causes the least issues, but still makes interacting with others harder for me. if i mention it to someone IRL, i always downplay it into "oh i just don't feel much for people >_<" but it isn't just that i don't mirror emotions, but that i outright don't care.
if i care about what's going on in another person's life, it's only because it's interesting; even if it's serious, it processes as nothing but gossip to me.
but if it's not, then i just DGAF. i get outright irritated by listening to other people talk about their lives sometimes because i just don't care.
like i said, this causes the least issues for me, particularly because the experience is purely transient and internalized. i don't tell them that i'm uninterested and my emotional impermanence (ADHD-related, not a PD issue) allows it to not turn into any sort of overarching resentment.
my interpersonal exploitation doesn't really cause me any distress, but it does hinder my ability to develop genuine relationships.
i don't really understand others' desire for a mutualistic relationship. for me, a relationship is all about what i can get out of others.
when it comes to making friends, i do display some sort of reciprocity, but only so i can get my time in return. for example, i'll ask about somebody else's interests not because i genuinely care, but so they'll feel obligated to let me talk about my own.
since i actually want friends, i put more effort into these relationships. however, i also seek out romantic interactions, despite being a-spec and leaning so close to total aromanticism/asexuality that i don't actually have romantic interest in anyone ATM.
in these cases, i'm very much a user. i'll mostly be honest (meaning: i won't try to make myself seem more interesting than i am), but i'll avoid anything that'll cost me my chance (i play the role of being hesitant to meet up IRL on dating apps before eventually saying i'm not ready, despite never planning on actually committing to anyone).
i'm not actually interested in a romantic relationship, i just want attention. i basically just harvest all of the supply i can get from them and dip when i'm done. as much as i hate when persotypicals call pwPDs "emotional vampires," that's basically how i function.
(if i'm being honest, though, i wouldn't mind if this was reciprocated. as long as someone finds me desirable and expresses this, i wouldn't mind being used, either)
the biggest issue comes in with my avoidant traits. i'd say that my NPD is far more impairing than it is distressing (yeah, i'm not able to feel common, prosocial emotions, but at least i feel somewhat confident), but being avoidant is a hellworld.
it's limited my ability to become independent from my mother. i'm afraid of the attention acting out of the ordinary would draw, so i never take the first step. since she rarely ever does anything herself to make me independent, i've yet to learn how to make my own food (i can only microwave leftovers and make cereal), do laundry, clean, or even leave the house on my own.
i'm also too afraid of conflict to ever stand up for myself. if anyone says anything that makes me uncomfortable, i immediately dissociate rather than advocate for myself. if i try to, i start crying, which causes me to end the conversation, even if nothing went wrong.
since i don't leave the house on my own, i usually interact with people online. before, my conversations would always follow the same pattern: initiate out of loneliness, get a reply, and then ghost them out of anxiety.
nowadays, i've gotten more confident about messaging people, but i still feel on-edge the whole time.
online or offline, i feel like i should feel ashamed for everything.
someone isn't as energetic in their texts? i fucked up and they don't like me anymore. a pizza order is messed up? it's because of me, even though i didn't order or make it. nobody approaches me in a social setting? i'm unlovable. somebody approaches me in a social setting? i probably still fucked it up.
because of this, i still sometimes have bouts of outright avoidance. for example, i haven't texted my cousin (my former safe person) since last week (we used to text daily) because i felt like she didn't like me anymore.
i also have social anxiety, which makes things especially unbearable, but my avoidant traits mean that i not only feel anxious, but i feel like i've done something to deserve it. it's not just my emotions, but a pseudological thought process (A.K.A. self-hatred) to "support" it.
Anyone with personality disorders willing to share difficulties in relationships/intimate connections?? Asks, comments, rbs??
-Cluster b (borderline) trying to get to know more about the other clusters and PDs because you never really understand until you talk w em I find.
For me personally the main trigger is just fear of abandonment and emotional permanency. Which literally categorizes bpd but idk if other clusters are as interpersonally defined and recognizable as b???
You're all valid! This is a safe space correct me if I said anything wrong.
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I posted 2,409 times in 2022
35 posts created (1%)
2,374 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@hattalove
@ttimbradford
@extasiswings
@911bts
I tagged 1,766 of my posts in 2022
Only 27% of my posts had no tags
#911 fox - 708 posts
#evan buckley - 223 posts
#eddie diaz - 216 posts
#buddie - 159 posts
#in the tags - 110 posts
#words - 86 posts
#!!! - 83 posts
#911 bts - 77 posts
#911 meta - 69 posts
#art - 69 posts
Longest Tag: 131 characters
#i gotta think...❤️🔥is like. beautiful and aesthetic. but a bit uncommon?i love 💖 especially with some✨✨ but i use 💕 most often.
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
reeba !!! taylor !!! midnights!!! omg did you have any idea ?!?!?!? it's always out of nowhere i swear aksdfjjj :') <33
hi!! hello!!
no I fucking did not like. she was doing interviews like no I don't have another album in me just yet, I'm so tired, I thought new album would take a few years??
like obviously it's been nearly 2 years since evermore but there's the rerecordings. and also I think I've been spoilt by the folklore/evermore release schedule because I feel...empty that we don't have the tracklist or like we're not getting the whole album + mv immediately after the announcement 😅
it looks so good though! I first saw her red carpet look waking up mid sleep to check something and I thought oh so rep? and then I woke up and my friend was screaming about the new album
the aesthetic looks so gooooood. I might invest in a good eyeshadow palette so I can make her blue eyeshadow look my personality for a bit✨
also hello? louis and taylor having their albums out within a month of each other? louaylor rights!!
4 notes - Posted August 29, 2022
#4
reeba!!! happy new year, my dear ✨🎉!! im so glad to have had so many silly and serious and everything-in-between conversations with you this past year 😊💫💖 i hope the new year brings a million happy moments, exciting opportunities, and pockets of peace for you 💌🥰
essie <333 happy slightly belated new year🎉🎆 I'm so glad YOU reached out after seeing my random tag rambles😭🥺🥺 because I don't think. I would have. and then I wouldn't have an insanely talented friend who's also? so good at getting the weird intangible thoughts and feelings that I am usually too insecure to talk about to most people. we're matching brain waves on a facet of ourselves and I am very very grateful to have known you this past year<3
thank you for all the wishes omg, same for you!! a million happy moments and a sense of fulfilment, progress and contentment with life. and the strength to step out of our comfort zones and reach for happiness💗💖
also I put in fireworks but I detest those irl, considering I cover my ears when balloons pop. so I hope your ears survived intact 😬
4 notes - Posted January 2, 2022
#3
(also, no need to answer, just want to say i see about the flooding and i'm thinking about you <3 that must feel really scary and sad, i hope you and your loved ones are doing okay, sending love <3 <3 <3)
thank you, my area is safe but the country as a whole. all the provinces are effected, so many lives and livelihoods destroyed...it's really bad out there. and videos and constant updates are..emotionally taxing but if you put it in the back of your mind, you just get busy with your life and you forget those people who will need months until they can even begin to start rebuilding there lives.
and of course crops were effected so prices of some stuff are already high and they'll only get higher. and we already have shitty price hikes due to a recent change in government after some political turmoil. but thank God for private non-profits who actually help the people instead of looting donations
sorry this is. a lot. I just wish there was more I could do besides donating. hopefully volunteer activities will crop up after the initial situation has been stabilized so I can do something that isn't limited by my finances
5 notes - Posted August 29, 2022
#2
reeba !!! are you back from the land of the shadowbanned??! also, what track are you claiming off midnights 👀🌙💫
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii essie🥰🥰
I am back from the land of the shadowbanned alright, so back in fact that when I saw half your ask in my notifications saying are you back from the land of... I didn't have the slightest inkling what this could be about and like a perfectly normal person, I wondered, why does essie think I'm in the land of the dead? 🤦♀️🤦♀️
as for claiming tracks, not to be (more) dramatic, I don't what's going on, idk who I AM? because like I cannot decide a track to claim. like this has never happened in any of the album releases I've been through so far. but like. lavender haze, maroon or midnight rain. like I think I want something s o f t. and side A sounds softer but I feel like the titles are going to be very misleading regarding the vibe? I am CERTAIN that whatever song I claim will not be my favorite. only two more sleeps till we know🕛⏳
How are you faring with this claiming business that I'm pathetically failing at😂
6 notes - Posted October 20, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
hey hi how are you ☺️✨ (i typed this and my brain went ‘how’s life, tell me how’s your family’ even though i haven’t listed to that song in FOREVER aksjjj but i’m off to rectify that now <3)
hi essie!! ☀️✨✨
to be very honest, I'm just... tired 😅 I'm trying to juggle some uni stuff with a part-time job and utterly failing at time management. like I COULD give up the me time but at what cost? losing my soul? so I'm just sacrificing sleep etc 🥳🥳
oof not back to decemberrrrr. i don't think I've heard it since 9th grade except once with red tv but I remember it all too well🤪
I think that's what the kids these are calling 'core memories'
how are you?? how's life and your family (feline family)
7 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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NXX Boys and Their Sisters
Tears of Themis Boys If They Had Sisters! Yay!
⚖️ Artem Wing
Eleanor Wing
• 36 years old
• same height as him (artem hates it)
• has short, auburn hair with a bob cut; blue eyes
• basically Artem's carbon copy istg but more mature-looking
• is also a top-notch lawyer abroad
• artem is a serious, hard-working man? jokes on you, eleanor is thrice as serious and ambitious as him
• will never ever have a boyfriend because she's scary asf
• wants to be artem's rival in court one time but only because she wishes to tease him
• she's not showy but she loves and supports his little bro sm that she planned to throw a big gathering when she discovered artem got himself a girlfriend
• almost choked when artem told her he got himself a girlfriend
• almost cried when artem told her his girlfriend is a lawyer (yay! family of lawyers!)
• intimidated the hell out of you when you first saw her
• istg she looks scarier than artem. scarier than his entire family, actually
• looks so stern but is actually a softie when you talked for the first time
• plus she's gorgeous and intelligent asf
• forget about artem—can i take eleanor?
• has a really beautiful speaking voice
• is jealous that artem can cook and she can't
• teases artem all night long in front of his family, and so you witnessed his tomato face the entire evening
• gives you boyfriend/relationship tips even when she hasn't dated anyone yet
• tells you no one has ever asked her out yet, but irl she rejects all of them
• will murder for artem and you
• then she'll save herself in court
• always calls you and invites you to hang out with her when she has free time, therefore pissing off artem because you decide to go shopping or do coffee dates with her instead of your boyfriend
• you see artem's text to her saying, "Eleanor, stop asking my girlfriend out."
• she's such a good friend and companion it makes you wish you become each other's shopping partners forever + you want to continue your girl dates. well, honey, you can make that possible if you marry her brother
• lowkey slips the topic of marriage during conversations, making you blush
• the kindest person on earth, don't fight me on this one
• is like your elder sister but can also be your mother figure if u want her to
• heaven-sent angel
• artem loves her so much even if he's not showy too
• she'll automatically be your relationship counselor once u get married to artem bc that's one of her specializations
• asks you straightforwardly about your sex life as part of your girl talk
• you're a simp for her, don't lie to me
🔎 Luke Pearce
Lucy Pearce
• 17 years old
• is smol like you and she's adorable for that
• has long, wavy, chestnut-brown hair and eyes the same as luke's
• she's really pretty you bet lots of guys are pursuing her—but they're kinda unlucky because luke is her older brother
• she's really genuine to everyone esp her brother. with their parents long gone, the two only relied on each other (and you and your parents, of course, since you took them in)
• she loves you sm she gets really excited when you three hang-out
• has been trying to set you up with his brother for a long time now but you have no idea because you're denser than the earth
• she's just TOO kind and genuine you'd get your hands dirty if someone ever hurt her
• hates math and science but loves literature
• teaching her high school math is the worst thing to ever happen to luke
• has a kawaii sense of fashion and you always go thrift store shopping with her because you want to play dress-up
• is a very talented fashion designer
• loves chips and milk. not a good combo tho
• has the worst tantrums + makes it really difficult for luke to console and make peace with her
• she has a really big crush on marius von hagen and luke hates marius even more for that
• is smart but sometimes a little too dense
• tears of joy when you told her you're in a relationship with her brother
• always nags at luke to remind him of how he should treat you well
• is very protective of you now because if you break up with luke her brother's gonna be losing his first and last chance of getting himself a wife
• is a big bully towards luke
• pesters you to tell her stories about you and her big brother and you end up telling her, anyway
• you braid luke's hair together
• you tried to cook together but to no avail + the house almost got burned so you swore to never do it again and just buy some take-out
• sweet, sweet lucy has a crush on her best friend's brother. her best friend is Zofia von Hagen
🖌️ Marius von Hagen
Zofia von Hagen
• 17 years old
• long, straight, violet hair with bangs + purple eyes too
• always wearing a ponytail
• maybe she's allergic to the sun because she always wears her shades; with new designs and different brands every day
• her iPhone is superglued to her manicured hands
• it's either heels or sneakers for her
• has her personal stylist because she's too lazy to style herself in the morning
• a really talented guitarist, unlike her brother marius
• for some reason she's not in good terms with their eldest sibling
• is the biggest snob you'll ever meet
• personality's a huge contrast with marius's
• only talks to people she's close with
• not as hard-working as marius but survives in school because she's hella smart
• marius's biggest bully + basher
• bitch is so fucking good at martial arts. she chose martial arts over music/arts, but she learned how to play the guitar by herself
• she can move the way annie leonhart does
• can be sweet when it comes to her best friend, lucy pearce
• doesn't want a boyfriend but a girlfriend instead
• also gifted in the field of arts but doesn't want to pursue it
• is the real spoiled brat in the von hagen family
• daddy's girl
• dude... this girl's in love with lucy pearce
• dude she likes her best friend
• fuck you, marius. lucy's mine
• lucy > rich and handsome boys
• this kid sus when you first met her, and you're surprised when she asks you, "has my brother proposed to you yet?"
• when you said no, she lets out a relieved and sigh and smiles—and straight out tells you, "good. you can still back out from this bad decision you're making."
• she may seem like a bitch at first, but when she warms up to you, istg this kid's gonna do literally everything for you
• her new life motto: must protecc miss attorney (aside from lucy)
• always makes sure to pester you when you're at the von hagen estate so that his brother can't make any moves on you
• always interrupts it when marius is about to kiss you
• there was a time when you were making out with marius in the living room and he receives a text from her that says: use condoms you idiot
• has the worst mood swings but they don't apply on you because she wants you to be her sister-in-law
• plus she can blackmail marius whenever she wants to
• *sighs* seventeen-year-old me won't probably be friends with Zofia von Hagen
🌹 Vyn Richter
• Marie Victoria Elizabeth de Haspran
• aka Tori or Victoria Richter
• is 31 years old and probably the gods' ultimate favorite because she's just so damn beautiful she could be venus herself
• has pearl-white hair that is always tucked in a neat, royal-looking bun
• she has a million-dollar hair clip that never really leaves her hair; you'd think she wears it even when she showers
• well, jokes on you because she doesn't shower—we kinda forgot she owns eight different types of bathtubs back in their estate
• has really pretty golden eyes she could hypnotize you with them; also has a mesmerizing smile
• this family's got damn long pretty lashes
• her voice is the softest, most beautiful
• her laugh will be the end of everyone
• she has a close relationship with vyn, but vyn despises her every time she addresses her as albert
• victoria our sexy, elegant queen
• good at speech, writing, and noble sports and other activities these rich peeps do
• has her pinky raised when she drinks tea
• vyn never lets her drink wine (or too much wine) or he always has to be there when victoria is drinking because her alcohol tolerance, i'm telling you—is ten times worse than artem's
• tea > every other drink in the universe
• can beat vyn's pathetic ass in a game of polo; never misses the bullseye when doing archery
• she's vyn's role model istg if victoria can be this perfect, then so can he
• piano and flute skills are way past heaven
• a really, really good big sister to our vyn
• this woman's so charming and nice you'd lower your guard when you're around her when in fact you really should not
• NEVER let your pathetic guard down when you're around the Haspran family, okay
• istg she knows what's running in your mind but you don't know that because she's in front of you, relishing her tea and wearing the prettiest smile
• queen of emotion-control and vyn admires her for that
• the love of her life is a prince from another domain and he's the only one who could make victoria de haspran blush to her death
• she was the first one to send you an official letter rom Svart stating that she would really wish to see you
• your cheeks burned so much because she addressed you as "Miss Y/N, future duchess of Svart" and victoria knows that, ofc. she planned all this. she knows every little thing she says to you. to everyone.
• she prepared a grand tea party just for you
• meeting her was one of the best experiences you ever had and you'll treasure it forever
• conversation with her and vyn is so easy because they share a good relationship with one another
• these siblings are so experienced in so many fields that sometimes you feel out of place, but they are quick and skillful enough to change the subject and make it about you
• she tells you she wants you to dress up and make acquaintance with the other nobles sometime soon and and intentionally said, "but i am afraid, miss attorney, that you will be sneaking your way into the hearts of Svart's noblemen."
• vyn glared at her as if she's his greatest enemy
• he was swift to tell his sister that there is no need for such thing, but if she insists, vyn will come with you
• you always catch victoria admiring your beauty
• you think vyn can be sly and manipulative? you haven't seen this woman in action yet
• victoria's gotten so close to you that she revealed to you her greatest secret
• —that she likes to read historical smut
• ngl you feel like she's made you blush countless times because she always slips into conversation how adorable your children with vyn would be
• and tells you some of the lovemaking ideas she has read about (vyn lowkey wanna walk out)
• you got really sad when you and vyn returned to stellis because you just wanted to be with victoria for a while
• because she's just too perfect
#tears of themis headcanons#tears of themis#tears of themis x reader#vyn richter#tears of themis vyn#marius von hagen#artem wing#tears of themis artem#artem wing x reader#artem x mc#luke pearce#luke pearce x reader#tears of themis luke#mihoyo#mo yi#xia yan#lu jinghe#zuo ran
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Hi! I'm here for the open ships! My pronouns are she/her, and I am bisexual! A bit about my personality would be that while I can act very serious, or get angry quite easily, I can also act a lot like a child and I love to talk to people about the things I'm passionate about, whether that be a hobby, a book, a character, or something they're doing! Probably my biggest hobby is writing, and I love to get warped into worlds of my creation, and I also love to pick out different outfits, especially for summer, I also love roller and ice skating and talking with friends! Whether that be texting, talking, or running through a mall with them and going through random shops for fun! A few things I dislike would probably be loud cafes, not being left alone, and people constantly badgering me about the same thing or people just using me.
Fandoms I am doing this for:
A Court Of Thorns and Rose, Grishaverse, and Stranger Things (or Harry Potter if you don't know what to do for ST)
Want to be shipped? Here be the instructions 🦋
Thank you so so so much for participating!!! You sound like such a fun girlie <3 Wish we could be friends irl; also I would love to talk about books and characters WHENEVER YOU WANT pls I love talking about books
What each ship has in common:
⋆ Charismatic ⋆ Independent ⋆ Kind-hearted ⋆ Badass ⋆ Surprising
𝐀 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬
𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
I ship you with Mor! (My fancast for her is Margot Robbie). I think she would really suit your playful yet sometimes introverted personality. You would definitely feel safe with Mor, as well as loved and cared for. She would absolutely spoil you rotten.
𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠
・She would take you out to the best restaurants, the finest boutiques and gift you the most exquisite jewellery.
・Meeting the Inner Circle and Cassian bounding over and squishing you into a bear hug. I think Cassian would definitely be one of your closest friends. The absolute mayhem you would cause – all Mor can do is laugh.
・Slow dancing when dinner is cooking; she holds you close and rests her forehead against yours.
・Getting dressed together and picking out each other’s outfits
・Mor has the BEST clothes too. Like imagine a walk-in wardrobe but bigger. It was literally a shock to see.
𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞
𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
I ship you with Genya!!! Similarly to Mor you guys would bond through friendship then the feelings would morph into romance. You were hesitant about her at first, but that was due to the rumours at the Little Palace. Genya actually turned out to be a wonderful person.
𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠
・You guys would have so so so much fun with her tailoring abilities. Changing up your appearance but also doing it to mess with people
・Defending her against anyone/everyone. She gets a lot of nasty looks, and even then you’ll ask what their problem is.
・She loves your company; even before getting together, she would seek you out. You were her solace. A safe place in a scary home.
・Genya didn’t want to be with you at first - only because she thought you would be shunned as well. She didn’t want your life to get harder just because of her.
・Picking flowers for her in the morning and placing them behind her ear
𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛
I ship you with Steve Harrington! I think you two would be the ultimate couple <3 Everyone would want to have the type of relationship that you guys have. It’s pretty iconic. He would mesh well with how you like to be social, but never push you to go anywhere you don’t want to. Honestly, Steve is a gentleman and has grown a lot since high school.
𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠
・LOVES going skating with you. He’s like a baby giraffe and cannot stand up without your help but you guys have so much fun. It’s so funny to watch too –
“Y/N! Y/N I’m going to fall!! Why is this so difficult!!! Y/N!!!!”
・Dustin LOVES YOU, he probably has a crush on you tbh. But he thinks you and Steve are really good together. It gives him hope for his future.
・El and Max coming to you for advice; you being like their cool older sister who does their make up and hair. I can totally see you apart of the mall sequence where your running into every shop and trying things on
・Steve spends a LOT of time at your house. Your parents absolutely love him, and they were shocked at how respectful he was. So they feel comfortable with him being in your room
・He would love to spoil you, I mean he doesn’t have that much money and you tell him to save it instead. But he can’t help it, so you told him to get creative with his gifts. And he started giving you like homemade jewellery, he learned to bake etc.,
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