#since one is back in india and the other one is not very... soft

[technically-human]

May I offer you a Charwin in these trying times?

@i-am-as-normal-as-you-are commissioned this one to try and cheer everyone up! :) Charwin loves grannies, and grannies love him

[itskattkm]

More that you could ever know

Summary: forced by your best friend you met Tara Carpenter on a Christmas Party in the frat house.

Warnings: fluff, alcohol, slipping, bad flirting? bad grammar?

A/N: for my Holidays lovers

Here I was. At a stupid frat house Christmas party. Forced by my best friend Layla. We had promised each other to do more things we usually didn’t. And since I mostly didn’t go to party’s Layla was the quite opposite. She said I need to have fun, get drunk and maybe even kiss someone randomly. Instead of being so careful and worried all the time.

So again. Here I was. Sitting on the stairs watching everyone getting drunk, dancing, laughing and making out. I had lost Layla about twenty minutes ago. She was dancing with some guy called Chad. As it seemed she knew him from the football team since she was a cheerleader. Sure she was, she was a beautiful woman from the India and knew how to move her body.

I watched them talking and having fun. At some point Layla pointed at my direction, Chads gaze fell on me and I waved awkwardly at him. He waved back and kept talking with Layla. A few seconds later I lost the sight of them. I sighed and looked at my empty cup.

„Y/N!“ suddenly a light voice called my name and in the next moment a woman fell down beside me on the stairs. Sitting now next to me.

I chuckled slight. Tara Carpenter. One of Chad friends as I knew from Layla. She looked so cute with her wide grin and the red Christmas hat she had on.

„Your name is Y/n right?“ she asked now with fear in her big sparkling drunk eyes while putting her hand on my shoulder.

I laughed and nodded. Tara sighed relived and pointed her finger at me „damn I got scared for a sec there. I thought I was sitting beside the wrong girl“ she explained and looked up to the stairs where other people sat.

Then her gaze met mine again, she adjusted her hat and held her hand out „Tara Carpenter, send by our friends to give you some company“ I laughed shy and shook her hand while introducing myself „Y/n Y/l/n the girl who was looking lonely at the stairs…“

Tara looked at me in a way I couldn’t really explain. For me it was a mixture of bring curious, cuteness and hotness at the same time… and for sure slight glimpse of drunkenness.

„not anymore… I’m here now“ she said with a tone in her voice that made me almost blush.

Then she took of her hat and put it on mine looking at me with a wide smile, showing her dimples. God that woman looked gorgeous, without even trying.

„So Y/n… what brought you here tonight?“ she asked and nudged my shoulder playfully.

I chuckled and looked over to Layla and Chad still talking, having fun „Layla… at the very beginning of this year we promised to do things we usually don’t. That’s why I’m here“

There was a little spark in Tara’s eyes

„And why exactly are you here? Because you don’t like party’s?“

I shrugged my shoulders „usually yes. But Layla wants me to have fun without worrying at all once. Drinking. Making out with random people… it’s just not my thing“ I explained

Tara’s eyes turned somehow softer, her smile had something flirty „but is it what you want?“ she asked me.

I began to think and right at that moment began to play all I want for Christmas. I laughed and said „seems like Mariah Carey is talking for me…“ I tried to joke but Tara’s gaze didn’t changed. It was quite the opposite, she looked even more intimidating now and said „so all you want for Christmas is me?“ I looked speechless at her not sure how to react while my face was getting hot „want me all for your own? More then i could ever know?“ she added.

I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or not cause I felt so caught off guard. Then suddenly Tara grabbed my jaw and pulled me closer and in the next moment our lips met. I felt goosebumps all over my body. My heart racing like crazy and my body getting so hot it felt like I was having a fever. When her soft lips left mine I kept my mouth slightly open in a overwhelmed way while opening my eyes slowly.

Tara smiled at me, still with that expression I couldn’t describe but totally felt turned on to. „congratulations you came closer to the making out with someone part on your list…“ my mouth was still opened and I looked confused away. Trying to process what had happened. Then I heard Tara laughing „sorry I really caught you off guard did I?“ she said and waved her hand in front of my eyes. I came back to reality and looked at her saying „what?“ Tara smiled more and then pulled her hand around my neck pulling me in „your really cute…“ she whispered before her lips met mine again.

I melted away right away and almost slipped from the stair I was sitting on while trying to lean in more into the kiss. Our lips separated because of that and Tara held me tight by my shoulders with wide eyes and a smile to make sure I wouldn’t fall.

I looked at her with wide eyes to and couldn’t help but laugh „I guess I was falling pretty fast“ I joked and Tara began to laugh too „I hope I don’t fall hard then…“ she said chuckling.

I sat back beside her while she held tight on my arm to make sure I wouldn’t slip again.

„…so… what about the drinking part then?“ I asked shy. Tara’s smile got wider and she leaned closer to my ear „but we haven’t finished the making out part yet“ I blushed slight and shivered at her whisper tone.

„Later?“ I asked and my gaze wandered between her lips and eyes. She nodded and got up. She held her hand out for me to hold onto it while guiding me down the stairs through the crowd. In the next few moments we drank together some shots and egg flip.

I furrowed my brows at the taste and looked at her confused „that’s the stuff you all like? No… I won’t accept that. I’ll show you something good now“

I said and took her hand guiding her into the kitchen. I began to look like crazy through all the cabinets. Tara giggled „what are you looking for Y/n?“

I stretched my self so I could reach the highest cabinet. But I couldn’t reach it.

„Pick me up I’ll help you“ said Tara and stood beside me. I smiled wide and pulled my arms around her tights and pulled her up, stumbling slight. Tara laughed and tried to hold herself on the cabinets „so what are we searching for?“ she asked. I giggled and looked up but was faced with her ass in those tight jeans. I blushed more and looked back down. But Tara seemed to caught me.

„hot chocolate…“ I said. Tara seemed confused but soon found some. I let her back down and she gave me the hot chocolate mixture grinning wide „did you like the view tho?“ she said teasing. I blushed more „I did… but what I’m seeing now is way more beautiful“ she nudged my shoulder before giving me a intense wet kiss on the cheek.

It took me sometime to come back to reality but I made it. „so you wanted to drink hot chocolate?“ asked Tara confused.

I had a cheeky smile and pulled out a bottle baileys out „with this one“. Tara seemed surprised and was curious to taste the upcoming drink. That’s when I began to look for the things I needed before preparing two hot chocolates with a shot of Baileys in them and some wiped cream on top.

I gave Tara the mug and we looked for a place that was way more quieter. So we went outside of the frat house and sat down on the porch watching the snow falling down while the street was fully lightened by the frat house itself. The Christmas music was changing to different remix variants and the Christmas lights were escalating.

„Cheers“ I said and toasted with Tara while taking a sip from the hot chocolate, I sighed relived because of the sweet taste and the undertone of the vanilla chocolate taste of Bailey’s itself. I felt Tara’s eyes on me and asked confused “what?” Again she had that now more luring expression with a shot of cuteness while looking at me “I see you do enjoy things with passion”.

I blushed slight and watched her taking a sip “mhm… okay…” she sighed satisfied “that’s really good!” She said and took another big sip. I laughed and looked at her admiring, when her gaze met mine I reached out with my hand and wiped some cream away from her upper lip “you had some wiped cream on the lips” I said quite and then wiped my thumb at my jeans while holding my cup with both hands to warm them.

I still felt Tara’s gaze on me. I looked at her and asked curious “what?” Tara almost looked like she was frozen. Her eyes then wandered between my eyes and lips whispering “you’re defiantly different” she leaned in so fast that she crashed her lips on mine. I tried to catch my breath and suddenly she had put both our cups away, turning her body fully towards me, holding my neck and kissing me deeply.

I cupped her cheek kissing her back slowly back. Tasting the hot chocolate on her lips. Not feeling the freezing coldness at all while kissing her on the porch while it was still snowing.

“Y/n are you here?!” Called Layla while entering the porch. When she saw her best friend making out with Tara she immediately covered her mouth with her hand and looked with wides eyes at them. She stayed quiet and walked backwards back into the house with pure excitement.

Our kiss slowed down and we catched our breath for a few seconds but not moving away one inch from each other. We both smiled. Curious I asked… “so… were you falling hard?” Tara laughed loud and pulled me back in, kissing me passionately while saying teasing between the kiss “we’ll find out”.

After kissing for a few minutes it began to get cold.

I got up and smiled wide looking down at her “from a scale zero to ten… how spontaneous can you be?” I asked.

Tara grinned wide “depends” I chuckled and held my hand out for her “what about ice skating? I know a place” Tara’s eyes sparkled and she grabbed my hand to get up from the porch, she suddenly slipped on the stair and I catched her immediately but didn’t thought that I would slip myself when I catched her and now I was lying on my back on the hard floor covered by snow. Tara lying on top of me looking worried at me.

I smiled weak and said “okay ice skating doesn’t seem to be a good idea then” Tara laughed and looked at me with so much admiration suddenly.

“At least… I can tell now that I feel hard…” I laughed “we both” added Tara sitting slowly up in my lap looking down at me. I kept laughing but felt a bit dizzy “I… why… why is everything moving?” Then there was worry in Tara’s eyes again and she leaned over me cupping my left cheek holding her fingers up “ how many fingers do you see?”

I struggled catching her fingers and tried to focus my eyes but couldn’t. Tara laughed worried and kissed me soft on the lips “I’ll take care of you now”. I smiled and never felt that relaxed and safe before. “Can I get another kiss?” I asked. Tara looked at me with a wide grin “you know… since I’m pretty hurt…” I said joking and then Tara leaned back down and kissed me so deep that I felt like melting away. Melting in her hands and thinking that the decision to go over my boundaries today was the best I could have done.

[survivalove]

Katara the selfcare queen

Every canon instance or mention (that i can rmr) of Katara indulging in selfcare in the middle of a war because I find it quite amusing yet fascinating.

I may or may not have made a post like this before but I wanted to expand on it.

1. Skincare routine

In 1x14, The Fortuneteller, Katara reveals she has a special seaweed lotion that she carries with her for soft skin. (Avatar Extras also made a point of saying that it smells…?) She even offers to get Aunt Wu some, as if she has extra. So my question is, who is this plug that she gets her steady supply of seaweed lotion from? 😭

Real-life: Seaweed has been used in skincare for thousands of years, first recorded in ancient Chile. Nowadays, seaweed extract is pretty common in skincare products especially from emerging brands in Nunavik and Iqaluit, Canada.

My headcanon: This is probably a recipe Katara picked up from the older women of her tribe, so she just plucks some seaweed whenever the gaang stops by a body of water. And she definitely makes it in cute glass jars and shares it with her fellow healers in the Republic City Hospital ✨selfcare queen✨

2. Spa Day

I just find this funny because when and how did she even find this spa? How long has she been going by herself? Look how comfortable she is like dhjfjcd she’s definitely a regular and they all know her.

Real-life: Saunas are pretty modern, starting up in Finland around 1112. (In canon, I think a firebender and a waterbender run a sauna in Republic City so hey.) Mudbaths on the other hand have been around for centuries and people have been doing it at any naturally occurring hot spring they can found. I don’t even have to tell you about massages so

My headcanon: Katara always knows where the spas and selfcare places are wherever they go. I definitely think she scooped up some stuff at the perfume abbey in season 1 (because she’s a kleptomaniac). I also headcanon she would have a spa setup in the back of Republic City Hospital because selfcare is healthcare too. Also, Aang gives her massages at home and he’s surprisingly good at it, but, Katara sucks at massages and Aang never lets her do it to him after that one time 💀

3. Yoga

In 3x11, Nightmares & Daydreams, Katara teaches Aang yoga to de-stress in a hot spring. My thing is, when did she learn about yoga and how often does she do it? We needed the Katara yoga mini shorts special. The kids would’ve loved it.

Real life: Yoga originating from ancient India is practised in a variety of forms in Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism. The poses they do are the Upward Salute and the Wide Legged Forward Bend.

My headcanon: I imagine Katara must have read about this at the Air Nomad Section of the Spirit Library, given the cultural heritage. Knowing her she found a yoga scroll and swiped it (can you say klepto?). This is another selfcare thing she does with Aang because it’s his culture! They do it every Saturday until he starts complaining about his old bones 😅

4. Hair care

Katara also wears a special cap on her head when doing yoga which I assume is to protect her hair from the steam 🤔 I just found it very interesting since we hardly see her hair covered. Then I also realized Katara is the only character shown actually combing her hair and styling it like 4 times: from the bun-braid, to the formal earth kingdom look, to her fire nation look and finally the bun with her hair out.

Real life: I typed so many things and I finally found something similar called a chinoiserie satin skull cap? (sorry pic limit). It’s similar in design and even has a tassel like Katara’s. Focusing on her hairstyles, the signature “hair loopies” are actually based on a traditional Inuit style known as qilliqti and her earth kingdom look is based on a traditional Manchurian style called liangbatou.

My headcanon: Like Katara’s mysterious seaweed lotion recipe, she probably makes several haircare products for herself, and has a major hair routine. So, it would make sense she wears protective caps from time to time. I also think both Hama and Katara are tied to the myth of Senna, the Inuit sea goddess, through the comb Katara uses which I headcanon is the identical comb Hama had in her home (again klepto).

If there’s any more selfcare moments I left out, please feel free to share or reply with your own Katara ✨selfcare queen✨ headcanons!

[kitty-lemon]

Since some of y'all do not know how to celebrate our achievements in space exploration:

Facts:

1) India became the 5th ever country to reach the moon surface back in 2008 with Chandrayaan-1.

2) India is the 1st ever country to soft-land the south pole of the moon and 4th country to soft-land on moon.

3) India has never physically placed a flag on moon- Only USA and China have physical flags on moon. 'Having a flag on moon' is said as a way to signify a country's presence on the moon through a mission.

Now from all the reactions I have seen, I can categorise them as follows:

1) Space enthusiasts: (Indians and non Indians) Wow! We have a rover in the south pole of moon now! For the first time ever! So proud.

2) Jingoists: YAYyyyy....India is has joined the group of the big bad countries with expensive space missions. Now we are in the same category as those countries who are known for their imperialism and power in world politics bahahahah. WE ARE ONE OF THEM (Modi hai mumkin hai)

3) H!ndu nat!onalists: "SomE coUnTrIeS hAvE FlAgs oN mOoN, oTHerS hAvE MooNs iN fLAgS". (Modi hai toh mumkin hai)

(2) and (3) are actively disrespecting the scientists, engineers and the whole team which made this possible, Out of their love for science and exploration and hard work to make this dream, People have had for decades, come true. They did not do this for small minded nationalism and religious politics.

Moving slightly away from the topic, Y'all were cheering for our Olympic wrestlers when they came home with medals and were very 'proud' of them. Same type of nationalistic things were said. But then y'all abandoned them, Even called them traitors, when they protested against a powerful BJP politician who was sexually harassing minors and women for several years. They asked for support and were met with ridicule. Till this date that person is roaming around free with only a non existent chance of holding him accountable.

So if you're proud of ISRO because y'all got to be jingoists and religious supremacists for a day then you may as well shut up and go back to school. This wasn't for YOU.

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

˗ˏˋ street food date ´ˎ˗

(isn’t that just the most creative title :D)

requested by very a lovely person who wishes to remain anonymous <3

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India) x Fem!Pakistani!Reader

Type: Oneshot - Fluff

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: terms of endearment, mentions of food & eating, usage of Hindi (translations provided), I don’t speak Urdu so it’s google-translated 😭

A/N: Reader speaks Urdu and Pavi (canonically) speaks Hindi. Since both languages are pretty similar in terms of speaking, at least from what I’ve observed, let’s assume that they can understand each other fairly easily :)

I absolutely LOVED writing this omg it was such a cute request! Sorry it took me so long so do this, I was so busy that I completely forgot abt all my reqs for a while 😅

Btw this was barely proofread so if there are mistakes no there aren’t <3

“Meri jaan, you’re spilling it.”

You turned at the familiar voice, just barely managing to balance a paper plate in your hands with an absurd amount of dahi papadi chaat piled onto it.

“You’re late,” You noted, biting the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling like a lovestruck idiot as Pavitr approached you, flashing that dazzling, slightly crooked grin that had your heart stumbling and falling over your mind trying to make sense of it all. You dropped your gaze to the floor, trying your best to cross your arms without dropping the food on the plate.

“I know. And I’m sorry, I really am. But you know that juggling my… duties and timings are hard,” He dipped his head slightly to make you look at him, brushing a small piece of papdi off your kurta. God, he was so annoying sometimes. His eyes were so soft and irresistible and he knew it.

“Come on, look at me,” He said teasingly, stepping forward slightly and grinning as you glanced up at him, then immediately frowned at your lack of willpower when it came to him. “There she is.”

You felt a smile break through so you set down the paper plate on a nearby ledge, leaning forward to wrap him in a hug and bury your face in his clothes. “Arre, you’re insufferable,” You mumbled, to which he let out a small chuckle and effortlessly picked you up to spin you around despite your little yelp of surprise.

“Oh, yeah, definitely. I’m sure that’s why you came out here on a date with me to have street food, right? Let’s go, meri dhoop. No use of you being all sad right now, naa? Look, there’s even pani puri a few stalls down.”

You almost got whiplash from how fast you turned your head to look, your eyes widening in excitement as all previous thoughts were forgotten. “You should’ve mentioned that earlier!”

Pavitr laughed, the easy chuckle - as cliché as it sounded - practically music to your ears as you grabbed his hand and took off, leading him to the pani puri vendor. “I knew that’d cheer you up.”

One shared paper plate of (admittedly quite messy) pani puri and a whole skewer of seekh kebab later, you leaned against a ledge overlooking the Mumbattan bridge right next to a whole row of new vendors. Pavitr wrapped an arm a little too tightly around your shoulders, nervously measuring the distance you would fall if you tripped.

“Pavi, relax, I won’t fall,” You gave him a reassuring smile, and he breathed out slowly before giving you a slightly strained smile in return. “Yeah, sorry. Spider-Man stuff. Lots of, uh… bad things happen. Usually near large drops.”

Your eyes flicked to his hand, gripping the railing so hard his knuckles were starting to lose circulation. Sensing his discomfort, you moved away from the railing back into the middle of the cobblestones.

“I’m going to braid your hair,” You declared suddenly to ease the tension in the air, examining the smooth waves that framed his face, pushed back slightly with his blue headband. His eyes widened in horror at your statement. “Wait, what? No! I said I was sorry for coming late! I’ll do my absolute best to come on time, I promise!”

“I’m not that rough,” You protested, scrunching your eyebrows as he cupped his warm hands over your cheeks. “Of course not, meri jaan. You’re so gentle, my hair definitely doesn’t feel like it’s being sent to an early grave.”

“Aap drama baghair kisi wajah ke bana rahay hain.” (You are making drama for no reason) You frowned at him and he chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“Kabhi nahin! Mei achcha vajeh se drama karta hoon. …Uff, thik hai, tum mere baalon ko tod sakte hain. Lekin… pehle ise kha leh.” (Never! I do drama for good reasons. ..Okay, fine, you can tear my hair out. But first… eat this.)

He held up a plate of vada pav, his smile growing as your eyes lit up again, the familiar scent bringing back memories of sitting in your grandparents’ house and watching them cook, masala-infused aromas wafting through the kitchen from the large utensils.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You wondered aloud as you started stuffing your face with the nostalgic dish. Your tone was lighthearted and playful, but it had a few traces of the underlying truth. You were so, so lucky to have him, and you knew it.

You could see it every time he dramatically presented you with some knickknack or the other that he picked up along the way, handing it to you with a bashful ‘it made me think of you.’ You could see it every time he adjusted your dupatta, every time you caught him staring at you with round, loving, awestruck eyes as if you were the very centre of the cosmos itself.

And when he smiled at everyone it was usually genuine, sure, but you had a special kind of smile reserved for your eyes alone. One that made the small dimples at the corners of his mouth even more noticeable, one that made him scrunch his nose subconsciously with how wide he was smiling.

The kind of smile he was using right now. And oh, good grief, you were so far gone for him. He was so effortlessly gorgeous it actually hurt - wavy hair swept to one side behind his headband, brown eyes turning gold in the sun, the light dappling his face and flicking tiny spots of shadow onto his skin.

“Tum bohat khobsorat ho,” (You’re so beautiful) You whispered, completely spellbound. Pavitr blinked in surprise, his smile turning slightly shy. “Arrey, tum mujhe bahut zyaada phlait karte ho.” (You flatter me too much)

“No, really!” You insisted, tapping the tip of his nose with your pinky and laughing when he scrunched it instinctively. “You’re very pretty, you know that? Mera khobsorat ladka. Pretty, pretty boy.” (My beautiful boy)

“Aap adhik sundar hai.” (You’re more beautiful) Without warning, he gently grabbed your torso and pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair. You looped your arms around to meet behind his shoulder blades, resting your chin in the crook of his neck.

You were scared to move, to disturb the silent peacefulness of it all, but you wanted to tell him something that would hopefully put his worries to rest.

“You know I won’t leave you, right? I won’t be your… what is it, canon event? Whatever that is.”

At the words ‘canon event’, Pavitr flinched as if he had been burned, his eyes wide and searching as he looked at you. “What? Where did that come from? And how-”

“Okay, listen, so it’s kinda my fault,” You began, choosing your words so as to not agitate him any further. “But you know how you said I could read your journal, because basically every embarrassing thing you’ve written is you being lovesick for me?”

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” He covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, messing up his hair in the process.

“Anyway, uh… you left it open on your drawer and I maybe kind of accidentally looked through the last entry. But only because I was worried. You’d been acting stressed out the whole day, remember? I’m sorry!”

“I don’t… hmm, actually, that’s pretty sweet that you were worried. I appreciate it.” He lifted his head to meet your eyes, almost smiling before his face crumpled again. “Hang on, what else did you see? Oh, god, did you see the whole page of poems I wrote? No, wait, hear me out! In my defence, I was absolutely whipped for you. I still am, but-”

“Pavi?”

“Yeah?”

“Ai, meri mohabbat. Chup ho jao. Mujhe lagta hai ke yeh dilkash hai,” (My love. Shush. I think it’s adorable) You reassured him, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose before moving in to press a soft kiss to his lips, an attempt at putting his worries and ramblings to rest.

That shut him up pretty well.

Please know that I am not Pakistani! I tried my best to write this, but if there is anything I’ve gotten wrong, please let me know and I’ll be happy to change it. <3

Meri jaan - my life

Meri dhoop - My sunshine/my sun

A kurta is a loose, collarless type of shirt worn by people in South Asia. It usually extends up to or just past the knee.

A dupatta is a length of material worn arranged in two folds over the chest and thrown back around the shoulders, typically with a salwar kameez or a kurta, by women from South Asia.

Papdi chaat (or papri chaat) is crispy fried-dough wafers served with typical chaat ingredients such as chickpeas, boiled potatoes, yogurt sauce, and tamarind and coriander chutneys; it may also contain pomegranate seeds. Dahi papdi chaat is the same thing, but more yoghurt is used (dahi means yoghurt/curd).

Pani puri is a popular Indian snack consisting of fried puff-pastry balls filled with spiced mashed potato (the puri), spiced water, and tamarind juice (the pani).

Seekh kebab is a type of kebab made with Indian spices, spiced, minced or ground meat, usually lamb or chicken, formed into cylinders on skewers and grilled.

Tags: @hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 [𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘]

PAIRINGS — Violet Bridgerton x fem!Reader [Modern!AU]

SUMMARY — More news comes to light about Landon, putting Violet and Reader on damage control.

WORD COUNT — 3K

WARNINGS — some descriptions of panic and anxiety

NOTE — And here's chapter 2! From here on out posts will be weekly, most likely on Fridays, but I hope you enjoy this start to the story and I can't wait to share chapter 3 with all of you!

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑰𝑰: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑰𝑶𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑮𝑶𝑻 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀

A few weeks had now passed since Violet had hired you, and she couldn’t have prayed for a better fit. Even though they were behind on some of the budgeting for the gala, things were running so smoothly Violet was confident that they would catch up. 

“You look like you’re in a good mood.” 

Violet looked up from her tea at her friend who she was visiting, a smile creeping up on her lips. 

“And what if I am?” she asked. 

“I would ask why because you have been so stressed you’ve been giving me grey hair, and now, miraculously, something has changed.” 

Violet chuckled at Agatha’s dramatic flair and placed her tea down in a saucer before speaking. 

“You remember this whole thing with Landon,” she said. “Dealing with the aftermath of it was terrible, but I recently hired someone to fill his position, and she feels like a very good fit. I’m enjoying working with her.” 

“A good fit,” Agatha smiled. She had a feeling there was something else her friend wasn’t sharing, but she knew it would come with time, not wanting to press too hard quite yet. “I suppose that means the gala is raring to go?” 

“Yes, and I would be so grateful if you could attend,” Violet said with a soft look in her eyes. “I’m trying to make sure all the family is back in time for it, but you know my children.” 

“Like herding cats,” Agatha said with a chuckle, and Violet nodded with slight exasperation. “Speaking of, how is everyone?” 

“Alive,” Violet chuckled. “Anthony is still in India, he won’t be back until the gala I believe; Benedict is Lord knows where; Colin and Penelope are on assignment in Indonesia last I heard. You probably already know that Daphne and Simon are settling in with baby number three.” 

Agatha nodded. 

“Eloise is at school taking summer courses because she cannot be without some sort of mental stimulation for too long; Francesca has just started her position at the philharmonic; and Gregory and Hyacinth are at home getting on each other’s nerves as usual.”

“So I gather the house still isn’t quiet?” 

“Not in the least,” Violet shook her head. “Hyacinth is so excited I’ve agreed to let her go to this concert with Benedict. I believe I’ve heard all of the album so many times I could do the concert myself.” 

“But watching one’s mother sing is not nearly as entertaining is it?” Agatha teased and Violet laughed. 

“No, surely not.” 

Once the laughter settled down, Agatha looked at Violet, a curious glimmer in her eyes. 

“Are you sure there isn’t something else you wish to speak with me about?” she asked. “Perhaps something different from the usual?” 

Violet frowned a little, unsure as to what her friend was referring to.

“No, I don’t think there is,” she shook her head. “Why do you ask?” 

“No particular reason,” Agatha shrugged. “But you do know you can tell me anything.” 

“Of course I do,” Violet nodded her head, her lips pressed into a small, thin smile. “You are my closest friend, if there was something to tell, I would tell it to you.” 

“Good,” Agatha nodded, content with that response. 

Violet sipped her tea and thought back to Agatha’s question. Was she reading into something that wasn’t there or did she sense something Violet didn’t? The only really different thing in her life at the moment was you and, in her mind, that was normal. You were an employee who was working well, but then again so was Marianne when Violet had hired her, and she hadn’t necessarily sung her praises in front of Agatha. 

She was about to open her mouth and ask her friend further questions about what she meant, but she was interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. 

Seeing your name flash across the screen, she excused herself for a moment, answering the phone and stepping outside of the room to take the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Violet, hi,” she heard your voice on the other end, you sounded a little nervous. 

“Is something going on?” she asked. 

“Nothing major,” you assured her. “Just I-I noticed some discrepancies in the accounts…Okay that’s pretty major, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m so sorry to cut your tea with your friend short, but I think we have to talk about this.” 

Violet pressed her lips together and nodded her head. 

“Are you at the house?” she asked. 

“No, I’m at my apartment in the city. I can be there in forty minutes.” 

“No need, I’m closer to you, text me your address, I’ll come over,” she said. 

“Alright, call me when you get close, I’ll come down and get you from a side entrance.” 

Violet felt a small flutter in her chest at the reminder that she may be exposing herself to wandering eyes, but your voice quickly reassured her that there were ways to be discreet. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Violet said. “Maybe call the lawyers while you’re waiting for me, I’ll call Anthony on the way.” 

You agreed and exchanged quick goodbyes before Violet entered the room, an apologetic look on her face. 

“Dinner to make up for this?” she asked. 

“Your place, you cook,” Agatha nodded and Violet chuckled. 

“Deal,” she came into the room and gave her friend a tight hug before grabbing her bag and jacket, letting herself out. 

She got into her car and began the drive to the address you had sent, calling Anthony once the GPS was set up. 

“Hey Mum,” the voice of her daughter-in-law rang through the car and Violet smiled. 

“Kate, my darling, it is so good to hear your voice,” she sighed. 

“It's good to hear yours, too,” she could practically hear Kate smile over the phone. “Let me guess, more issues with work?” 

“Unfortunately, yes,” Violet nodded. “It may be good for you to hear this as well, but can you get Anthony?” 

“Of course,” Kate assured her and went to go get her husband, informing her when they were both on the phone together. 

“Mum, what’s going on?” Anthony asked. 

“Our new manager’s just found some discrepancies in the accounts. I thought you said the lawyers didn’t find anything?”

“They didn’t,” Anthony swore quietly. “What was it?” 

“I’m not sure yet, but I would not be surprised if it has anything to do with Landon. I’m heading to her home right now to go over things with her, and she’s calling the lawyers,” Violet explained. “Just, could you maybe go on damage control with your siblings and make sure no one is spending exorbitant amounts of money on anything, not that they would, just try to keep things within limits.” 

“Okay, Kate and I can handle that,” Anthony nodded. 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come home?” Kate asked. “My family would understand, we can come back another time.”

“Oh no, my dear,” Violet shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t want you to do that. This time is special, Eddie isn’t always going to be this young. Your family should get a chance to enjoy him like this, too.” 

“Alright,” she sighed. “But don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. I feel like we left you alone at such an inconvenient time.” 

“It’s no matter, we have a manager now who I really think we can trust. I’m sure she’ll be able to help me figure whatever this is out.” 

“We love you, Mum,” Anthony said. “Check in soon.” 

“Will do. Kisses.” 

Both Anthony and Kate made a small kiss sound over the phone before they exchanged goodbyes and hung up just before Violet pulled into the area where your apartment was.

It took her a moment to find parking, but she called you while she did and you came down to greet her by the side door, ushering her inside. 

“You found the place okay?” you asked, and Violet nodded her head. 

You could see the stress clearly in her expression, especially as she fiddled with the rings on her finger or played with the ends of her hair while you were waiting in the elevator. 

Once you finally got inside your apartment you quietly excused the mess. 

“I moved in just before I started working for you, I haven’t had the chance to get everything out of boxes yet,” you explained, bringing her over to your office that was more or less set up. “Okay, this is what I found.” 

You showed Violet the papers splayed out and began to explain them. 

“Basically, it’s a money trail,” you said. “At first glance it actually looks quite normal, which is probably why the others missed it, but I didn’t recognize this name,” you pointed to the document, “and decided to do some additional digging. I found out it actually goes all the way to this shell company working out of Seychelles. Unfortunately, I can’t touch it and it looks like there’s a couple hundred million in there.” 

Violet could feel herself growing nauseous. Ironically, she wasn’t worried about the money, but more so what kind of attention this would bring to the family. The kind of attention she was trying so desperately to avoid. 

“V-Violet, are you alright? You look a little pale,” you said softly, gently reaching to place a hand on her back. “Do you want to sit down?” 

She nodded her head, and you helped her into one of the nearby seats, watching as her eyes scanned the papers. 

“We have to call the police, don't we?” she said finally and you nodded your head. “This is my fault,” she whispered and you frowned, kneeling down in front of her. 

“How on earth is this your fault?” you asked. 

“I hired Landon,” she explained. “He worked for us for years, and I didn’t notice a single thing.”

“Violet,” you placed a hand on her knee, and her eyes moved to where you touched her. The contact was not unfamiliar, but she felt herself wanting to lean into it. “These weren’t your actions,” you said quietly. “They’re Landon’s, and it’s not like he made his intentions clear to you. He lied and was manipulative.” 

Violet chewed on the inside of her cheek, holding her forehead in her hands before running her hand through her hair and leaning back into the chair. 

“The money will find its way back-” 

“It’s not about the money,” Violet shook her head. “We have more than enough of that, and even if we didn’t…it wouldn’t be the end of the world.” 

You stayed silent, waiting to see if she would say more, but your mind found itself drifting back to the comment she had made during your interview. 

“It’s the press, isn’t it?” you asked, and she nodded her head. 

You chewed on your lip, trying to think of something, anything that might relieve her worry, but you were afraid nothing would do the trick. 

“You must think it's silly,” Violet said, leaning back in her chair, her body language becoming more closed off as the topic progressed. “That someone who has lived her whole life in the spotlight should probably be used to the press by now.” 

“I never said I think it’s silly,” you spoke softly, still kneeling by her side. “I can't imagine having my whole life available to the public, whether it is the truth or lies fabricated to get more viewership. That is not a life I think anyone sane would long for.” 

Violet pressed her lips together and sighed. 

“Then let’s try and keep this low profile for as long as we can. It will inevitably get out, but maybe by that time, things will have cooled off.” 

You nodded your head, patting her knee and standing up. 

“Of course, then we can focus on lighter things like this gala.” You smiled. “I just got word that they secured the venue you wanted, so that’s good news.” 

Violet couldn’t help but smile at that. It was good news. She’d always had good luck when she’d hosted at this venue, managing to raise more and more money each time, and she would always make sure her own family’s donations would match. 

Edmund had always said that money was a tool, and when it was used properly, it had the opportunity to do good in the world. 

Now that most of her children were able to support themselves, she worried less and less about giving more of the money away. Yes, they had lived a fairly privileged life, but she and Edmund tried to make sure they didn’t focus their spending on luxuries. 

Aside from their home, which had been in the family for eons, they kept things simple. A few people to help around the house due to its large size, security when it was necessary, but that was the extent of it. 

Violet watched as you picked up the phone to call the lead officer on Landon’s case. Eventually they had given their number to Violet in case anything suspicious came up, but she thought they were in the clear and would never have to use it. 

When you were finished talking, telling the officer you would meet him at the Bridgerton’s residence, you grabbed your keys and your purse, but Violet stopped you. 

“We can go together, I’ll bring you back afterwards,” she said. 

“Are you sure? I know today has been hectic already. I don't want to add anything on your plate.” 

“Driving is the only time I get any peace, you’d be doing me a favour,” she assured. “Plus, I just got Gregory to clean the car so it’s spotless,” she teased. 

You chuckled at what she said, still packing your keys in your purse. 

“Okay, let’s go then,” you grabbed the papers and files from your desk that were relevant and headed to Violet’s car. She took a quick look around, before giving you a nod to get inside, and she followed soon after, starting the car. Hearing the quiet hum of the hybrid engine come into the space, she pulled out of her parking spot and began the drive back to her home. 

You wouldn’t lie, you weren’t particularly expecting Violet to drive herself around, but clearly she had proven time and time again her family did not do things the typical way. 

“So you enjoy driving?” you tried to make friendly conversation. 

“I do,” she nodded. “And I find I do so much of it, I may as well get a car that’s decent for the environment.”

“Really, you drive a lot?” you asked. 

“Well, more when all of my kids were still living at home. We used to joke and say I was the family chauffeur, but I loved driving with the kids, it let me spend more time with them when everything around us felt unmanageable.”

“Are you still chauffeuring Hyacinth and Gregory?” 

“Not as much as I used to. Hyacinth definitely, but Gregory gets himself around, much to my dismay,” she chuckled lightly. “But before I know it, Hyacinth will be off to school, and I’ll be alone with a lot of time on my hands.” 

“Maybe I can engage your services, then,” you teased and Violet smiled. 

“Tit for tat, I like that,” she turned off of the highway and went to one of the less crowded offroads that led to the house. “What about yourself, do you have any simple pleasures?” 

“You know, that is a good question,” you sighed and sank back into your seat. “I love art. Even just looking at it, I suppose.”

“And how do you satisfy that need?” Violet inquired further. 

“Museums, mostly. I’ll just go and sit there for hours looking at a particular painting. Well, I used to, I don’t have enough time to do much of that anymore,” you admitted. 

“You’ll enjoy the venue for the gala then,” Violet said. “It’s filled with art, I find it gets people in the right mood to give generously.” 

“You do a lot of that, don’t you?” you asked, turning your head over to her, watching as her eyes were focused on the road ahead, sunglasses tangled in her hair, the ghost of a smile on her lips. 

“Give generously?” she asked. “Yes, I’m afraid there may have been something I failed to mention when I hired you.” 

“Which is?”

“I don’t think this is going to be a permanent position,” she said quietly. 

“And why is that?” you asked curiously. 

“Once Hyacinth is in school, Anthony and I have made plans to…essentially give away most of the money.” 

“As your financial manager, I feel compelled to advise you against that,” you said, “but as a human being. I admire your detachment.” 

“Oh, I assure you there are selfish motives as well,” she said. “Each of the children will be left with a sizable trust, I will have enough to let me have a comfortable retirement, but Anthony and I thought it was time we got rid of the thing that keeps all the cameras constantly on our family.” 

“Do all your children know about this plan?” you asked. 

“More or less,” she nodded. “They’re all capable individuals. They will live happy and comfortable lives, and I know for a fact they won't struggle and neither will any of their children, or their children after that. They just might have a chance at some semblance of normality.” 

You nodded your head, understanding. 

“I’ll obviously need your help with that transition once it happens, but after that I’m afraid I won’t have much of a need for your expertise. Unless you also do taxes, then perhaps I can keep you around,” she looked over at you briefly. 

“I don’t tend to do taxes,” you said. “But I think I’d make an exception for you, Violet.” 

Violet bit her lip and smiled. She had certainly hoped you might say that.

TAGLIST —

@paola-carter @madde11 @thesamesweetie @cherrysxuya @philocalistwrites @mako-mermaids2021 @oh-mydarling @courtneyteal @amethyst-bitch @etherynn @lilisdarling

[keep-calm-and-drink-caf]

Cuddles and Khakhra

A Pavitr oneshot

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar (Spider-Man India) x Indian!Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: No use of (Y/N), reader gets their period, use of pads, reader’s mood is kind of all over the place, and the rest is fluffy stuff like kisses, cuddling etc!

A/N: This is one of my first times properly writing from scratch in a little while since I’ve had so much homework and assignments and stuff, but enjoy ☺️

As always any constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! 🫶

The Hindi in this is probably quite flawed since it’s been a while since I properly spoke it and I was never that good at Hindi but I tried my best lol. I would have liked to do Marathi because Mumbattan (Mumbai) but I don’t know Marathi and I don’t really want to use a translator

I’m not very sure about the poojas (basically rituals, usually prayer-related) that some people do when they have their period, and whether it’s sometimes a monthly thing or not, but when I was a child I never had any done after the first time

Reader uses pads because tampons are scary

Huge thank you to @hobiebrownismygod for the tips for writing Pav’s character!! 💙

———

You knew something was off the moment you woke up with a metallic taste in your mouth and an ache all over your body that made it feel like a valley was being carved straight through your nerves. Upon seeing the damage done to your bedsheets, the blood seeping into the white fabric everywhere, you grumbled to yourself softly and reached over to your bedside drawer for a pad, dragging your sore limbs out of bed and to the bathroom.

Once you got out of the bathroom, sitting on the floor against your bed and battling a cramp that was just about beginning to throb painfully, you contemplated calling your mother. A glance at the clock ruled out that possibility, though. It was 7:00 am. Both your parents would definitely be asleep downstairs, and very, very grumpy should you wake them up for something that you could definitely handle yourself, despite how tired you were starting to feel. You stripped the stained sheets off the bed, replacing them with clean ones from the cupboard and putting the soiled ones in the bathroom to clean up just a little later once the initial fatigue wore off. You went back and lay on your bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

No sooner than you had gathered the strength to go get a painkiller than your phone rang, obnoxiously loud for the relatively early hour. You grabbed it, glancing at the name of the caller on the top of the screen, relaxing slightly with a soft sigh when you saw who it was.

“Good morning, mera pyaar!” God, how was he always so cheerful? It seemed even at 7am on a Sunday morning he was out of bed and fully awake.

“Yeah, hi, Pav.” You pressed the phone against your ear as you rummaged around in your drawer for an advil, silently cursing your reluctance to sort through the mess of pens, papers, and random knick-knacks that had begun to accumulate over time.

“You sound tired. What happened? Are you okay?” His tone immediately took on a note of worry, and through your haze of steady, throbbing pain you felt your heart warm at his concern.

“Check your calendar.”

You could hear rustling at the other end of the line as he moved towards his wall. You could picture the adorable little scrunch between his eyebrows he did whenever he was trying to figure something out, his eyes trailing the events marked on the pages in his scrawled but somehow neat handwriting. Finally he found what you were waiting for and you could hear him inhale sharply.

“Oh, meri jaan. It it… that time?” At the end of his sentence his voice became hushed, the caution in his tone making you chuckle softly. You finally found an advil, swallowing it and hoping that it would kick in sooner than later.

“Arrey, don’t sound so surprised. You were there last month as well, remember? And the month before that.”

“It happens every month for the whole year?“

Your tired sigh at your end quickly shut him up. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll swing by and I’ll even get you a snack, okay? Just sit tight.”

“Wait, Pav, I’m not so sure that’s—” You were interrupted by him hanging up on you, no doubt already on his way. You tiptoed to the door, resting your ear against the wood to see if your parents were up. A light, barely audible snore told you that that wasn’t the case. You were just about to head back to bed when you heard the window click open, someone landing on the ground in a crouch.

You panicked and threw the first thing you could reach, which turned out to be an empty laundry basket. It landed smack dab on the unknown person’s head, knocking them backwards a few inches with the force of the throw, eliciting a small groan of pain.

“Ow. What was that for?”

“Pav?”

“Of course it’s me, who else would jump through your window?” He took the laundry basket and set it down in the corner, giving you a small bow. He was dressed in his suit, which might have aroused some suspicion when he was on his way here, but you were just happy that he had come. He pulled off his Spider-Man mask, running a hand through that annoyingly perfect hair of his with a sunshiny grin at you.

“What were you thinking?” You chided him, taking the laundry basket and putting it back where it was supposed to be. “You scared me, Pav. You could’ve just come through the front door. I would’ve let you in.”

“I did say I would swing by,” Pavitr joked, holding out a paper bag almost like a peace offering. A frosty glare from you prompted him to give you a rather nervous smile. “Fine, you’re right, that joke was kind of terrible. But this is good, I promise. You’ve had khakhra before, haven’t you? I asked Maya Aunty, she said crunchy snacks are good for cravings.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s true for everyone,” You pointed out, but you took the bag from him, gently squeezing his hand in gratitude. He sat down with his back against your wall under the window, patting the floor next to him as an invitation. You followed suit, allowing him to wrap an arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Meri jaan? Can I ask you a question?” His voice interrupted the peaceful stillness of the moment as you struggled to tear open the plastic wrapper of the khakhra, your nails just not finding purchase on the slippery material.

“Of course, Pav, what’s up?” You gave up with your nails and instead slotted the packet between your teeth, succeeding in ripping only a tiny fraction. You were beginning to feel frustrated, not to mention hungry.

“Is this whole thing kind of like… you becoming a ketchup packet for a week?”

Your teeth finally ripped through the khakhra packet, the thin, crunchy discs spilling out and falling all over your lap as you looked at him in surprise.

“Aapne mujhe kya kaha tha?” (What did you call me) You had no idea whether to be shocked, amused or just plain outraged. You were leaning more toward the last option, though, and it clearly showed on your face. Pavitr quickly realized his mistake and held his hands up in surrender.

“Main bas to majaak kar raha hoon. I’m kidding, I promise.” (I’m just kidding)

“Oh, I’m sure you were,” You grumbled. He chuckled at your grumpiness, bringing you closer into his side again. Despite your wish to be at least a little bit annoyed at him, you ended up resting your head on his shoulder, vaguely wondering how someone could be so warm, both physically and emotionally. In all senses, he really was a ray of sunshine.

“Bhale hee aap ek ketchup packet the, aap ek sundar hojaega.” (Even if you were a ketchup packet, you’d be a beautiful one)

You whacked his arm lightly, trying your best to suppress a smile at that. “No more ketchup packet jokes. Or you’re not getting any khakhra.”

To emphasise your point, you gathered the flaky discs back into the ripped plastic wrapper, taking a bite out of it and relishing the crunch followed by the cracker-like salty taste.

“Mmm, it’s so amazing and so tasty. It would be a shame to not get any, but then again, more for me—” You cut yourself off with a laugh at Pavitr’s imploring puppy eyes looking down at you. “Fine, here you go.”

You plopped the packet on his lap, and for a while you both silently ate together, very nearly finishing the packet. Once you finished eating, no longer hungry, you gave a silent thanks that the advil was still working, warding off any cramps that were threatening to ruin your mood.

“Did it hurt?”

You turned your head to look at Pavitr, your eyes narrowing suspiciously, but he just gave you that same goofy grin. You had a feeling you knew where this was going, but with a sigh you decided to humour him. “Did what hurt?”

“When you fell from heaven.”

The way he delivered that line in a deeper voice than his own, waggling his eyebrows at you made you giggle softly, and his grin grew even wider. “Really?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “Of all the lines you know, you really went with that one?”

“Hey, at least it’s not a ketchup packet joke.”

“Stop talking or I’ll throw something at you,” You warned, the amused glimmer in your eye and the fact that you were nestled so close against him telling him that the threat definitely wasn’t serious. You glanced at the brightening sky, suddenly remembering something. “Hang on, did you drop everything for me? Don’t you have to go be Spider-Man? Aren’t you supposed to be busy?”

Pavitr shook his head, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of your head. “I have time. Besides, my spider-senses will tell me if there’s anything urgent. I’m never too busy for my ke—”

“Don’t say it.”

He laughed softly, squeezing your shoulder with the arm that was wrapped around you.

“My girl. I’m never too busy for my girl.”

———

Translations:

Meri jaan - My light / My life

Mera pyaar - My love

Arrey / Arre - Hey!

Khakhra is a large, thin cracker made from wheat flour and moth bean that is a Gujarati breakfast or tea-time snack. I know it’s Gujarati, but I’m quite sure it’s found everywhere else as well :)

Taglist:

@hobiebrownismygod

[rambheem-is-real]

Gold Rings and Black Roses Pt 4

pt 3 here

-

On the fourth day Aadhya tries her luck in going outside. It’s been a while since she’s been exposed to direct sunlight, staying inside the house all these days. She walks up to the main door cautiously, but the men standing guard don’t even look at her. Now or never, she thinks, and takes a step outside. When she isn’t immediately shot, Aadhya slowly makes her way down the steps outside of the mansion until she gets to the gravel road. Here she notices the outside guards staring at her, but they make no move to bring her back inside, so Aadhya keeps walking, turning to see the mansion from the outside. 

Somehow it looks a lot less scary now than it had when she was first brought here, though that was because Aadhya had thought she was being led to her death then. She’s no architecture buff, but she thinks it’s beautiful. She’s also more familiar with the inside of the mansion now, both in terms of the layout and the people. Aadhya’s made friends with some of the women working for Radha Rama, especially the tall one that gives her clothes to wear for the day, Sara. She’s spent a few hours every day talking to Sara and the other women about her life in America, and listening to their stories of Khansaar. She’s come to the conclusion that Khansaar seems like a terrible place to grow up, what with the constant threat of being murdered, but maybe Aadhya’s just soft. Sara had spoken of it with barely concealed longing, and Aadhya had sympathized with being stuck in a place far from home. She didn’t sympathize with the rest of it, though. 

“I miss Khansaar’s government,” Sara had said last night. “Here in India, there’s way too many laws against killing people,” she scoffed. 

“...I think that’s the case in every other country in the world actually,” Aadhya had replied. 

Aadhya thinks about the rest of the conversation as she walks around the building, taking in the sights around her. She had gotten Sara and another woman working for Obullamma, Rohini, to spill about Radha Rama’s ex-husband. 

“It was a political marriage, Bhaarava was a powerful warrior and Raja Mannar wanted him in his control,” Rohini explained. 

Sara nodded. “And of course ammagaru didn’t oppose the marriage, she was willing to do anything for her father.” Rohini gave her a look. “Well, she wasn’t opposed to Bhaarava either,” Sara continued cautiously, looking like she was nervous of Radha Rama appearing behind her. “He was attractive, competent, and knew how to play the game of politics. Ammagaru… really liked him.”

Aadhya frowned. “Then what happened? Did he die?”

“Well yes, just after he was exposed as a Shouryanga spy,” Rohini spits. 

Aadhya perks up at the familiar name. Was this man related to her too?? 

“But Deva killed him and many of his soldiers in his quest to hand Varadha the throne.” 

Oh. Probably not, then. 

“Good riddance,” Sara says. “He betrayed our ammagaru, that pig. Even before he went for the throne, he sided with Rudra against her during the ceasefire.” 

So Radha Rama probably only felt resentment towards her ex-husband, Aadhya thinks as she makes it to the other side. She gasps as she realizes the back of the building is a huge garden, plants clearly only recently trimmed and wrangled into place. Delighted, she runs over, examining the different plants. She has no idea about the differences between the flowers, but she thinks they’re very pretty. Further along the path are ornate benches to sit on, and carved statues. There seems to be a fountain in the distance, in the center of the garden. 

Aadhya loves it. 

She spends the next hour exploring, and just enjoying the fresh outside air. Towards the end of the hour, she spies a cluster of beautiful black roses. The petals of the roses are pitch-black, looking almost alien amongst the rest of the white lilies and jasmines surrounding them. As she brushes her hand through them, Aadhya’s reminded of the black saree that Radha Rama wore on the first day she saw her, before she changed into the yellow one. She tilts her head, considering. Actually they remind her of Radha Rama in general. She knows there’s probably a superstition about black roses somewhere, that they represent mourning and loss, but beyond that Aadhya can see the elegance and mystery that surrounds the flowers, much like Radha Rama herself. Even though she was in mourning, and had been for the last seven years over her husband, her kingdom, and her father, Radha Rama had stayed strong throughout, still managing to be so regal despite her situation. 

“Aadhya Krishnakanth.” Aadhya jumps as she hears a voice behind her, turning to find a bored man looking at her. “You are expected for lunch in ten minutes.” 

“Oh, I’ll be there then,” Aadhya says, and it looks like the man is satisfied as he walks away.

She turns back to the flowers. Has Radha Rama ever received a bouquet of flowers in her life? Was Bhaarava the type to pamper her? Aadhya frowns as she thinks back to what she’s heard about the man. Probably not. She makes her decision, plucking a handful of black roses from the ground. She looks around and spots someone that looks like the gardener, digging a few yards away from her. Aadhya makes her way over to him. 

“Hello!” She attempts a friendly greeting. The man, who was muttering angrily to himself, turns to look at her. 

“What do you want,” he sneers. 

Aadhya’s taken aback by the blatant hostility emerging from this man, but soldiers on regardless. “So sorry to bother you, but could you please dethorn these roses?”

The gardener stares at her. “...Aren’t you the kidnapped girl?”

Aadhya squirms. “Yes?”

He looks at the roses in her hand, then back up to her face. “Who the fuck are the roses for? You’ve been here for less than a week and you want romance?”

She blushes. “Radha Rama, actually.” He stares at her some more, then a grin spreads across his face.

“I want to see this play out. Give me the roses.” He pulls a device out of his back pocket, overflowing with other gardening tools, and proceeds to clip and dethorn the stems of the roses. He hands them back to Aadhya when he’s done. “Here you go. Hope you go out quickly.”

“...Thank you,” Aadhya says, and tries to walk back inside as fast as she can. She knows she’s impulsive, but hopefully this doesn’t backfire on her as much as the gardener clearly thinks it will. 

-

Aadhya enters the dining room with the flowers held behind her back, wanting it to be a surprise. Radha Rama is already seated at the other end of the table as is their usual arrangement, scrolling through her phone. Aadhya had successfully convinced the older woman to download a few social media apps yesterday, but not before Radha Rama had gone through every sentence of the terms and conditions for each app. 

“I am not giving a random businessman my private information,” she sneered. But Radha Rama had seemed to find Twitter funny, which Aadhya counted as a win, as she believed getting the older woman on the Internet was the best way to integrate her into general society. She wasn’t royalty anymore, and it wasn’t healthy for her to hold onto that grudge for so long. Aadhya hoped Radha Rama would learn to have some fun soon. 

Radha Rama looks up at Aadhya’s entrance, raising an eyebrow at Aadhya’s hidden hands. “Are you going to try to shoot me?” Aadhya… decides not to be offended at how relaxed she is under the assumption that Aadhya has a gun behind her back. 

“Nope. I brought you a gift.” Radha Rama blinks in surprise, and Aadhya shoves her nerves down. She presents the loose bouquet of black roses, holding them out in front of her like a shield. 

When Radha Rama keeps staring at the flowers, Aadhya shifts on her feet. “I got you some roses from the garden. They’re black, and I thought of your saree, and also how cool you are…” Aadhya trails off as the older woman looks up at her, eyes piercing through her. 

“You got me roses?” Radha Rama’s voice is hoarse. “Because of… how cool I am?” 

“Well yeah. You haven’t killed me yet, and you’re mysterious and beautiful just like these roses.” 

Radha Rama lifts her arms to take the bouquet, gently stroking one of the roses as she inspects the flowers. 

“Radha Rama?” Aadhya asks. “Do you like them?” Aadhya hasn’t ever seen Radha Rama this unresponsive, and she’s nervous. 

“Rama.” The older woman says, and there’s a hint of a shy smile on her face now. “Call me Rama. It’s what my dad and-” she stops herself. “It’s what my dad used to call me, and it’s the name I prefer.” 

“Ok,” Aadhya says, relieved that Rama doesn’t hate the gift. “Rama, then.”

“I like the roses,” Rama says mildly, but Aadhya can see the blush high on her cheeks. Oh. Aadhya had done that, had put that blush there. Her heart starts to beat faster as she realizes her crush may have the remote possibility of being requited. 

Rama turns her head to the doorway. “Obullamma!” she calls. When the woman comes in, Rama hands her the flowers. “Put these in a vase in my room.”

Obullamma gingerly takes the flowers and leaves, not before shooting Aadhya a look, a mix of jealousy and bewilderment. Aadhya tries not to do anything as childish as sticking her tongue out at Obullamma. 

Rama turns back to Aadhya, then sits back down, gesturing for Aadhya to take her seat. “Let’s eat,” she says, smiling. Aadhya obeys, feeling very much like she’s accidentally rolled a Nat 20 on a charisma check. 

The lunch tastes exceptionally good that day, Aadhya thinks. 

-

Bilal finds Aadhya in her room sometime in the evening. 

“You gave flowers to WHO?” he asks incredulously as he enters. 

Aadhya sets aside the book she was reading, a political text that Sara had given her. She found it boring, but apparently it was a childhood favorite of Rama’s. Aadhya can unfortunately see that, all the talk about authoritarianism and the duties of a centralized government was right up Rama’s alley. 

“I gave them to Rama.” She shrugs, but can’t help the flush that runs through her at the thought of Rama’s smile at the gift. “She liked them.” 

Bilal stares some more. “Is this my life then? Am I to spend the rest of it running after Shouryangas who fall in love with Mannars?”

“Bilal!” Aadhya blushes. “No one’s in love with each other.”

Bilal scoffs, clearly disbelieving. “Uh huh. And you’re secretly Amma’s favorite child. Right.” He sits at the edge of her bed, keeping a respectable distance. “Whatever you’re doing to keep Radha Rama on your good side, keep doing it, but don’t get too close. Do whatever you can to get yourself out of here, then run. Don’t look back. Don’t come back. Forget about Khansaar and your biological family.”

Aadhya frowns. Her first instinct is to defend Rama, but she remembers that she’s here because Rama did have her kidnapped. But that was only to get Deva here, right? “Well, what’s the update on Deva? I’m here because of my brother, right? When’s he supposed to get here then?”

Bilal shrugs, looking uncertain. “I’m not sure, thalli. But when he does come, you should escape with him. He’s not going to let Radha Rama live when he realizes she’s kidnapped his little sister.”

“You assume he’ll care,” she mutters under her breath, but Bilal hears it. “Oh no, thalli. If Deva truly sees you as his, he’ll protect you in any way he can. He’ll tear Radha Rama to pieces if he needs to.” When Aadhya looks up, ready to protest, Bilal sighs, and lifts a hand to stop her. “You can’t protect her from him, Aadhya. You only know her good side. Deva has seen her at her worst, and if he realizes she was initially trying to set him up to kill Varadha, he’ll be even more angry.” Aadhya remembers what Bilal had told her days ago, about how Deva had beheaded a lord for daring to grip Varadha’s collar. “Think about it. That’s all I ask. Try to save yourself, Aadhya. If not for yourself, at least for your father who’s probably very worried.” 

Once Bilal leaves, Aadhya lapses into thought. Deva, with his history, has every right to kill Rama, and it would be the smart thing to do for her to use the opportunity to escape. But Aadhya realizes, with a jolt, that she really doesn’t want Rama dead, that she’ll truly miss the woman. She resolves to try to negotiate with Deva, whenever he shows up, bargain for Rama’s life somehow. 

-

Late that night Aadhya goes back outside. The skies are clear and she wants to see the stars, suddenly feeling homesick. As she tilts her head up to the sky, letting the vastness of space calm her down, she spots a familiar figure sitting on the roof. What was Rama doing up there? She wonders, but if Rama’s up there it means the guards will let her go up there. Aadhya finds the stairs that lead to the balcony of the mansion, giving an awkward wave to the unamused man standing on patrol near the staircase. She climbs up the stairs, then climbs up the ladder that leads to the rooftop. 

Rama turns her head to the side slightly at Aadhya’s approach, but seems to realize who it is and relaxes, facing forward again. Aadhya takes the opportunity to observe Rama from the back. 

The older woman is still in the red Banarasi saree she was in this morning, patterned with silver diamond designs. Aadhya absentmindedly wonders what her pajamas look like, or if she sleeps in the sarees she wears all day. Rama’s thick curls are gathered into a french braid, falling beautifully down her back, and Aadhya blushes as she realizes one of the black roses she picked this morning was carefully placed in the center, surrounded by silver earring chains. Rama’s still sitting as straight-backed on the roof as she does in chairs, but the set of her shoulders seems more relaxed than usual. As Aadhya sits next to her, crossing her legs, Aadhya’s breath catches as she observes the way Rama’s face gleams in the moonlight. The soft white light turns the hair in the front silver, making it look almost like a crown. 

Rama glances at her, brown eyes shining from the moonlight. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I wanted to see the stars, so I came outside. Then I saw you up here, so I came upstairs,” Aadhya explains. 

Rama nods. “The stars are beautiful tonight.” 

Aadhya just barely stops herself from responding to that the way she really wants to. “Yes, they are,” is what she replies with instead. “Is this a habit of yours? Coming outside to stargaze at night?”

“I never did anything as simple as stargazing in Khansaar, no.” Rama sighs. “I was too busy for things that weren’t related to politics. It was always ‘Rama, there’s a rebellion that needs to be put down in one of our territories, authorize the military’, or ‘Rama, can you go sort out whatever’s wrong with your brother’, or ‘Rama, your husband didn’t show up to the lords meeting today, find out what happened’. I was my father’s finest weapon, and I’m proud of it. But in the grand scheme of things, does all that I did even matter? If the owner of the weapon is dead, then what good is the weapon?” 

She leans back a little, closing her eyes. “That bastard brother of mine didn’t even give my father an honorable death. Decapitated him right in front of everyone, then went and sat on the throne like it was his birthright. Of course that boyfriend of his slaughtered everyone on his way to the throne, then offered the crown he picked off my father’s corpse to my brother.” She swallows, and Aadhya can hear a deep bitterness in her voice. “It was still stained with my father’s blood when your brother crowned mine, did you know that?” Aadhya can only shake her head. “All those years Raja Mannar still kept that boy in his heart, even after he threw away my father’s greatest gift. He wanted to make him a lord, was willing to upset the Ghaniyars for it. And what did Varadha give him in return? Nothing. He kept taking and taking until he took what mattered most to my father.” 

The two sit in silence for a few seconds, Aadhya thinking about her response. She doesn’t want to anger Rama, doesn’t want to ruin the vulnerable mood between them, but as a neutral observer she thinks Raja Mannar is also very much in the wrong.

“Your father shouldn’t have punished him so harshly for what he did as a child,” Aadhya says hesitantly. Rama looks at Aadhya sharply, but Aadhya decides to keep going. “Not to mention killing Varadha’s friend’s entire family, and turning a blind eye to Varadha’s suffering all the years after.” 

Rama scoffs, quickly standing up, and Aadhya’s stomach turns. Oh, now she's done it. All the times she kept pushing, hoping that Rama would be charmed by her instead of offended, and now the worst has actually happened. 

“Of course you’d take his side,” Rama hisses at her. “You’re one of them Shouryangas too. I don’t know what I expected from you.” This is the first time Aadhya has seen Rama angry, and the shock is made worse by the fact that it’s directed at her. 

“Rama wait! I have nothing to do with the Shouryangas, I just got here! And I can’t just blindly take your side either,” Aadhya tries to explain. 

“No.” Suddenly the anger is gone, replaced by sadness. “No you can’t.” Rama wraps her arms around herself after a sudden cold gust of wind, and Aadhya’s horrified to realize that she looks close to tears. “No one takes my side, not even my own brothers, and not even my own fucking husband.”

“Rama…” Aadhya trails off, not knowing what to say. 

Without another word, Rama turns and descends the ladder. 

Aadhya stays up there for a few more hours by herself, feeling miserable and even more homesick than she was when she first came outside.

-

@illusions-of-serendipity @just-a-lazy-person @nini9224 @recentinterest @omgdontlookatmeuniverse @greatkittykoala @theimmortalprince

[aimeedaisies]

Princess Anne’s visit reinforces Sri Lanka-UK bonds - Plaudits for hard work and modest outlook

Published 14th January 2024

By Pramod de Silva

The British Royal Family is changing their outlook following the demise of Queen Elizabeth II and amidst increasing calls for truncating or even abolishing the monarchy.

Indeed, gone are the days when the British Empire was known collectively as a region where the “Sun never sets” as its colonies were located all over the globe, from Sri Lanka (then Ceylon) to South Africa. Now there are only a very few British protectorates left, including the Falklands Islands. All others have either become Dominions with King (Charles III) as the titular Head of State (examples include Canada and Australia) or Republics with no sovereign ties to the British King, such as Sri Lanka and India.

A humble Princess Anne carried her own bags off the plane as she arrived at the Bandaranaike International Airport in Katunayake with her husband Vice Admiral Sir Timothy LaurenceA humble Princess Anne carried her own bags off the plane as she arrived at the Bandaranaike International Airport in Katunayake with her husband Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence.

Yet, the British Royal Family maintains a measure of popularity in the so-called Commonwealth Countries, which are former colonies of Britain, even if their fame has taken a hit in the UK itself particularly following the death of Princess Diana, and the separation of Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle from royal life. The couple has since been living in California, USA.

Queen Elizabeth II’s visit

Sri Lankans, for whatever reason(s), do have a soft corner for the British Royal Family, in spite of the mixed colonial legacy in the country. This was evinced when Queen Elizabeth II arrived here for the first time in 1954. This visit was significant for two reasons. The first was that Sri Lanka hadsaman gained Independence from Britain just six years earlier, in 1948. And Sri Lanka was still a Dominion back then.

The second was that this was one of the Queen’s first official overseas visits after her Coronation on June 2, 1953. She wore her Coronation Frock at one of the events in Colombo during this tour. She would go on to occupy the Throne for nearly 70 years. Her next visit to Sri Lanka was in 1981, by which time the country had become a Republic. But judging by the raucous reception she received wherever she and Prince Philip went, her popularity in Sri Lanka was intact.

In between those two visits, the couple became the proud parents of four children – Princes Charles (the present King), Andrew (Duke of York, though now mostly retired from Royal Duties following a string of scandals), Edward (Duke of Edinburgh) and Princess Anne, now known officially as Princess Royal. She thus happens to be the only daughter of Queen Elizabeth.

It is no secret that Princess Anne is the sibling closest to King Charles, ever-ready to steady the ship amidst the turbulent storms that the Royal Family faced in the years following the tragic death of Princess Diana in Paris in 1997. Her scandal-free life and easy going nature had endeared herself to Royal fans all over the planet.

This might explain the buzz surrounding last-week’s official visit of Princess Anne to Sri Lanka to mark 75 years of diplomatic links between the two friendly countries. Given the revolving door that is Number 10, one cannot imagine a better ambassador to mark this occasion than apparently someone from Buckingham Palace – and the hardest working member of the British Royal Family at that. Princess Anne has earned that moniker from the press thanks to her non-stop work for good causes around the world.

A royal expert has explained why the Princess Royal was chosen as the first member of the family to go away in 2024, as she was praised as being “invaluable” to King Charles. Richard Fitzwilliams said: “Princess Anne is an example of what the public most admire in a working royal, she is dedicated, conscientious and prefers a low profile and no fuss.”

First-ever Royal visit for 2024

Princess Anne began the second day of her Sri Lanka tour with a visit to the Sri Dalada Maligawa (Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic) in KandyPrincess Anne began the second day of her Sri Lanka tour with a visit to the Sri Dalada Maligawa (Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic) in Kandy

In fact, her trip to Sri Lanka gained international media attention due to several reasons, with magazines such as Hello! And People devoting multiple pages to the coverage, not to mention all mainstream British newspapers. After all, this was the first-ever overseas visit by any Member of the Royal Family for 2024. Princess Anne is no stranger to Sri Lanka, having visited the country previously in 1995, as a patron of the Save the Children Fund.

The media were quick to highlight the fact that Anne (73) and her husband Vice Admiral Sir Tim Laurence (68) flew on a commercial airline to Colombo, whereas they could have requested a Government Airbus A330 or other aircraft from the Royal Air Force (RAF). In fact, SriLankan Airlines, the only carrier which flies directly between London (LHR) and Colombo (CMB) could not hide its delight, posting on X under the headline “A Service Fit for a Royal”.

A SriLankan Airlines post said: “We are delighted to welcome onboard Her Royal Highness (HRH) the Princess Royal on her journey from London to Colombo on a three-day official visit to mark 75 years of diplomatic relations between Sri Lanka and the UK. It is truly an honour to extend Her Royal Highness and the delegation our inherent Sri Lankan warmth and hospitality, thereby presenting the first taste of our island home through our service. We thank the HRH for honouring us with her presence onboard and choosing us for the journey.”

Royal commentators and observers were also delighted to note that the couple carried their own bags, both at the points of embarkation and disembarkation. Princess Anne and Sir Tim’s down-to-Earth nature was displayed by them carrying their own bags onto the flight, the commentators said. One eagle-eyed royal writer even noted that one of her bags was from the French brand Longchamp’s La Pliage Line, costing just 115 Sterling Pounds, at a time lesser mortals like to show off bags from the likes of Louis Vuitton costing thousands of pounds or dollars.

A welcome ceremony at the airport saw the two Royals greeted by dancers, music, Union Jack flags and a red carpet. Princess Anne, sporting sunglasses, was received by dignitaries including the British High Commissioner Andrew Patrick and Minister of Foreign Affairs Ali Sabry, PC.

Princess Anne and Sir Tim kicked off their engagements right away, heading first to the MAS Active Factory near the Airport, one of the largest apparel tech companies in South Asia and identified by the UK Fashion and Textile (UKFT) Association as an important Sri Lankan partner. As President of the UKFT, the Princess Royal met staff and toured the facility to hear more about their innovative designs and partnerships with leading UK brands.

Princess Anne, Princess Royal signs the golden book after she arrives for a three-day official visit to Sri Lanka at the BIA in KatunayakePrincess Anne, Princess Royal signs the golden book after she arrives for a three-day official visit to Sri Lanka at the BIA in Katunayake.

Letter from King Charles

The couple also met President Ranil Wickremesinghe and Prof. Maitree Wickremesinghe at the President’s House. Her brother King Charles had outlined “considerable challenges” that the world is facing in a letter delivered by Princess Anne to President Wickremesinghe during this meeting.

The Royal Couple also got the opportunity of meeting former President Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga on this occasion. She was the incumbent President when Princess Anne last toured the island in 1995. Royal watchers praised the Princess’s modest outfit worn to this important event. Hello! Magazine described her outfit in this manner: “Putting on a colourful display, the Princess Royal asserted her sartorial prowess in a ravishing red shift dress adorned with blooming pastel flowers. For an additional pop of colour, the royal added a berry-red lipstick, balancing her ensemble with a draped cream scarf and white gloves.” Another royal watcher said that her white gloves worn at the event were a subtle nod to the legacy of her mother.

Princess Anne, with her lifelong affinity to the Save the Children Fund, also took time off her busy schedule of meetings to visit its offices in Colombo and inquire into their programs in Sri Lanka. After unveiling a plaque commemorating the 50th anniversary of Save the Children working in Sri Lanka, she gave an impromptu speech to staff and guests at the charity’s Colombo HQ.

Princess Anne said: “It’s a real pleasure to return to Sri Lanka and the chance to visit Save the Children’s (headquarters) and underline the fact you have been doing extraordinary work here for 50 years.’ And I know, because when I came before it was slightly different, things have changed a lot. But the very fact that you are here and seen as valuable partners to the Government and the departments – that says a lot for what you’ve achieved…So a big thank you to all those who have been part of that journey, thank you all very much.” She also visited the Lady Ridgeway Hospital (LRH) in Colombo.

Princess Anne paid her respects to the Fallen Heroes of World Wars when she laid a wreath in their memory in Colombo, during her first visit to a Commonwealth War Graves Commission (CWGC) cemetery in the Jawatta area as the organisation’s President. They also visited the nearby Vajira Pillayar Hindu Kovil, where Sir Tim dashed a coconut to ward off bad luck. Chief Priest Sachithanantha Kurukal went into the shrine to conduct the pooja as Princess Anne and her husband watched, and they later toured the temple viewing the many shrines to Hindu Gods.

The Royal Couple then left for Kandy, where they paid homage to the Sacred Tooth Relic of the Buddha at the Sri Dalada Maligawa. Dressed in white, Princess Anne was ushered into an inner sanctum, reserved for the temple’s most important guests, to make her offering to the Sacred Relic in private.

Princess Anne engaged in a friendly conversation with Former President Chandrika Bandaranaike KumaratungaPrincess Anne engaged in a friendly conversation with Former President Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga

Later, the couple travelled to Jaffna, where they toured the famous Jaffna Public Library, which was burnt down by mobs in 1981 and then rebuilt to reflect its former glory. The couple toured the library “where they heard of its significance to the community and met key figures from the fields of education, arts and culture,” said the British High Commission in Sri Lanka. Andrew Patrick, British High Commissioner to Sri Lanka, called the building “a landmark of great significance”. “This important moment marks the first visit by a member of the Royal Family to Jaffna,” he added.

The library was one of the largest libraries in Asia and housed over 97,000 unique and irreplaceable palm leaves books (ola), manuscripts, parchments, books, magazines and newspapers, before its destruction in 1981.

The couple had several other engagements in Sri Lanka before they flew back to the UK after a highly successful visit, which reinforced UK-Sri Lanka ties. Several more events will be held in 2024 to mark this milestone.

Princess Anne’s Sri Lanka visit is her second official engagement of this year, having returned to duties on January 4 to attend the Oxford Farming Conference.

The King and Queen are also set to fly overseas later this year. The couple are expected to visit Canada in May, before flying to Australia, New Zealand and Samoa in October.

As for the Prince and Princess of Wales, they too will be preparing to return to Royal Duties in the coming week, which comes after the family celebrated Princess Kate’s 42nd birthday on Tuesday January 9.

[chaos0pikachu]

tldr: bitches want gay shit, not het shit, with data and numbers to back it up; bonus Bible’s booty

so thinking about @discluded​‘s essay on Mile and Apo’s upcoming historical drama, and Thailand’s bid for soft power got my brain thinking thoughts. I’ve talked about Thailand noticing the soft power of their BL media before along with why I think Chinese, South Korean, and other East Asian media (from television to novels, etc) are popping off in popularity in the last 5 years or so. Idk where those posts are and I’m to lazy to link them thus is life

The point! The point is tho reading discluded’s post made me think about F4 Thailand. Ironic, I know, since F4 is a het drama based off Boys Over Flowers a shojo manga from Japan that was released in 1992 and ended serialization in 2008. 

Firstly, Boys Over Flowers FACINATES me b/c the god damn chokehold this series has on various Asian countries. I told a friend it’s comparable to like, Romeo and Juliet, in that it’s been adapted, remade, re-adapted, re-booted, re-imagined, and so on over and over and over again. Like there’s audio dramas, there’s films, there’s multiple live action TV shows, there’s an anime. Japan’s made two feature films, and two seasons of a TV. Taiwan had two seasons of a TV show, Korea had a tv show, China had two versions of the same show (one was a remake), Indonesia had two tv shows, India had a tv show, and finally Thailand was the latest to adapt it into a TV show in 2021 - 2022. The legacy of this story can’t be denied. 

Now, my point? Okay so my point is I witnessed online the marketing for F4 Thailand in real time. It was interesting to me b/c I very rarely - and have not since - seen a ton of talk about a Thai drama that wasn’t BL or a horror or action film. 

When it comes to the Thai film industry, the three genres I see discussed are: BL, Action, Horror. You can see this in what Netflix (America) offers in regards to Thai series specifically what ones they dub which shows like: Girl From Nowhere (which Netflix invested in a s2 and is a thriller/horror drama), The Whole Truth (a horror film), and Thai Cave Rescue (which they also have a documentary based on). Netflix is still (STUPIDLY) reluctant to purchase a license for any SK or Thai BL content (I know Semantic Error would blow the FUCK up on Netflix you idiots!!!) probably b/c investors are like, hmmmm but would gays of color sell? I would say they also have Your Name Engraved Herein but that’s an easier sell b/c its a drama and has more of that classic gay Oscars vibe (this isn’t an inherent bad thing don’t come for me). 

Okay back to my point I s2g I have one. 

So marketing for F4 Thailand was interesting b/c I actually saw it. I don’t see marketing cross over into my international waters for Thai het dramas. What helped this, and I fully believe this was done purposely, is the casting of Bright and Win who gained international popularity from 2Gether. Like, it seemed pretty obvious to me that casting Bright and Win was a bid to peak the interest of the international market, combined with casting them specifically in an adaption of one of the most famous and well known Asian romantic dramas of the last 30 years or so. This show was set-up to be A Hit. 

But I don’t think it really worked internationally; bare with me, numbers time. 

Now, ratings for F4 averaged at .441% on Thai TV, higher than Bad Buddy (which aired on the same network) which averaged at .121% and Kinnporsche which averaged at .314%. 

I compared F4 to these two shows specifically b/c they aired in a similar timeframe (all three shows aired over the course of 2021 - 2022 except KP which only aired in 2022) and arguably Bad Buddy and Kinnporsche were the biggest BL shows in Thailand in those respective years. 

F4 also did well in the Philippines, and ended up dubbed into Filipino, and it’s scheduled for re-broadcast in 2023. Honestly, it’s difficult to see how well F4 did internationally as there’s not a ton of information available on it. When I google “F4 Thailand reception” there’s not a lot of results, if I google “boys over flowers Thailand reception” I get this: 

ngl I think it’s pretty funny that one of the top four most asked questions is if F4 is BL and again, it’s def b/c of Bright and Win’s casting. But given that there’s not a ton of information available, I glean that F4 didn’t do great in the western (American/Latin American/European) market. Not to say it didn’t do well. 

On Google ratings: F4 Thailand lands at a 4.9 rating with 2619 reviews/ratings and Bad Buddy stands at a 5.0 with 1085 reviews/ratings

On MyDramaList F4 has a rating of 8.5/10 from 11,982 users, and Bad Buddy has a 8.5/10 from 26,445 users

On IMDb: F4 has a rating of 7.8/10 from 2.3k users, and Bad Buddy has 8.8/10 rating from 5k users

This isn’t a comparison about quality, but activity. I’m not here to make judgements on either shows quality, but rather international impact and relevancy. Outside of Google, Bad Buddy has more active users who left a rating or review on the website than F4, almost double in fact. 

If you go to GMMTV’s official Youtube page and look at the most popular videos on the channel it’s majority....2Gether. Like my god so much 2Gether the CHOKEHOLD this show had on y’all:

More date and a comparison of F4 and Bad Buddy’s international numbers below, we’re getting into the meat now. 

Now the actual F4 official trailer has 3.7 million views on GMMTV’s channel. Bad Buddy official trailer, also on GMMTV’s official channel, has 2.7 million views. Both are set at 1 year ago so they’re within the same or similar time frames for comparison. 

To throw in there, the Kinnporsche official trailer was released 10 months ago and has clocked 7.1 million views total on Be On Cloud’s official channel. To keep up with the comparison, F4′s OST Who Am I clocked 21 million views at 1 year, while KP/Jeff Satur’s OST Why Don’t You Stay has clocked 36 million views at 8 months. 

(completely unrelated sidenote but Vegas/Bible’s ass has 3.4 million views and I just find that fucking hilarious, the man’s booty got more youtube views than other studios episodes. The power of Bible booty) 

You can watch episode 1 of F4 on GMMTV’s official youtube channel, but only episode 1 the rest are just previews for other episodes. Idk why, other series whether het or BL they have all the episodes available. There’s apparently 80 videos that are hidden, I’m wondering if you have to pay Youtube premium to access those. Since I only have episode 1 to compare, for comparisons sake, we can look at those numbers of F4′s ep01 and Bad Buddy’s, both of which are clocked at 1 year each, are as follows:

Bad Buddy ep01 [1/4]: 9.6 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [2/4]: 5.4 million 

Bad Buddy ep01 [3/4]: 4.9 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [4/4]: 5 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [1/4]: 1.7 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [2/4]: 848k 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [3/4]: 3.3 million 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [4/4]: 747k 

If you crunch these numbers, Bad Buddy’s total view count for episode 1 is around 25 million views. F4′s total view count is around 7 million views (if I’m doing my math correctly a bitch doesn’t work in maths). 

Now, I don’t know what the premiere numbers for either of these series was. BUT, this shows that one series, Bad Buddy, has legs and the other, F4, didn’t. 

Either way that’s a pretty sizable gap and a lot of international fans use Youtube as a means to legally watch and support these shows as shown in the availability of subtitles.

F4 has subtitle options in: English, Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Portuguese, Turkish and Spanish

Bad Buddy has subtitle options in: English, Turkish, French, Indonesian, Spanish, Chinese (Hong Kong), Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Vietnamese, Arabic, Portuguese, Polish, Italian, Burmese, Chinese (Simplified) and Bulgarian.

Bro, BULGARIAN.

As far as I can tell, IQIYI doesn’t release streaming data that I could find, so idk what the numbers are for Kinnporsche. I do know that Kinnporsche, since airing, has never let the sites Top 10 list which is an impressive feat after ending months ago. 

So like, what does all this information mean~ exactly? Am I saying F4 Thailand was a flop? No, not even a little bit lol I don’t have enough data to really say definitively F4 was a flop nor is that really the point here. 

The point here is about international impact, and the fact that in my humble ass opinion, Thailand’s het shows ain’t hitting internationally all THAT much. Not as much as their BL shows are and have been. 

Objectively, going by Thai ratings, F4 did a lot better than Bad Buddy, but internationally? Internationally there’s a pretty visible gap from everything I’ve seen. 

I think what GMMTV was hoping was by casting Bright and Win they’re pull in that international audience they had cultivated with the 2gether series. But het dramas are high key a dime a dozen in American/European/Latin American audiences. Folks go to Kdramas or Cdramas for het dramas (and I have theories on why those hit, namely Cdramas for the high fantasy aspects that Europe and America doesn’t deliver on and kdramas for being unashamedly high quality produced romances. Also the one-and-done factor). 

Given the juggernaut success of Kinnporsche, not just in the west but also in other Asian countries I imagine that’ll influence other studios to try to follow suit even more to gain even a half-slice of that visibility and profitability. Kinnporsche, imo, is an outlier, it’s success is sorta like 2gether and TharnType in that there were a lot of factors outside of the show itself that led to it’s individual success. 

Like, flat, argue with the wall, 2gether is NOT a good series. But, it was released right when lockdown began (literally, ep01 aired Feb 21, 2020), in a way 2gether was like Animal Crossing, GMMTV didn’t expect it to do THAT well especially internationally but it did partially b/c what the fuck else we people gonna do in lockdown? Watch a simple but cute gay romcom which there was a gap for - Love, Victor wouldn’t air it’s first episode until June 17th, 2020, and that was marketed less as a queer romcom and more as a queer coming of age story. There’s also the factor of The Untamed having ended - final episode August 20th, 2019 - and folks catching on to the growing and active existence of international queer media that wasn’t boxed in and tied down by American conventions. 

I think what we’re going to see is the “next era” of BL. We saw the uptick in overall content post 2019/2020 with the success of 2Gether and TharnType, following the success of series like Why R U, Love By Chance, 1000 Stars, Lovely Writer, etc along with other countries getting in more on the game (namely South Korea) and the overall uptick in the amount of BL (and now GL!) shows across the board. 

After 2gether we saw more BL shows, I think after Kinnporsche we’re going to see higher quality BL/GL shows. And I think we’re already seeing that. Semantic Error was a nice change of pace for SK b/c it was longer than 15mins, I think going forward given the success of SE we’re going to see SK branch out slowly into developing longer shows (no longer than 30 to 35mins tho to keep costs down) and better workshopping (some kisses in KBLs...my guys). While for Thailand I think we’re gonna see better quality shows. Not Me dropped the ball in some regards but visually the show was great. Cutie Pie’s story was incoherent sure but visually? Hot damn that was a good looking show. We’re also getting more interesting concepts out of Thailand too; like that Prince/bodyguard show coming out, the fact Kinnporsche did eventually get made and MileApo’s upcoming historical film. 

this all got away from me but whatever, bitches want gay shit, peace

[imslowlydisintegrating]

MADE OF OUR OWN STORMS

He was alone now, dangling from the side of a building, clinging onto a thin metal wire that was tearing the skin on his hands open. Art swung his leg to the side until he managed to plant his foot on the sill of the window that's glass had long since shattered.

——————————————————————

genre: soft apocalypse (yes ik that's an aesthetic but that's bascially the genre)

pov: 3rd limited; switches between characters

setting: it changes a lot but i think mostly post-apocalyptic north/central america and some post-apocalyptic asia

content warnings: gore, death, violence, self-harm, sui ideation, swearing, depictions of panic attacks, descriptions of dissociation

——————————————————————

blurb, characters + worldbuilding under the cut

BLURB

Some say the virus brought it on. Some say it was global warming. Some say it was a divine intervention. Whatever it was, it tore the world apart. A torrent of natural disasters struck across the globe on December 21, 2023. Billions died, and the few that survived were left to pick up the pieces of a broken world. After 100 years of successful survival in the post-apocalypse, society has been re-built into something manageable.

But it's not perfect. Hardly anything is.

ART O'CAHAN is a boy who was raised on curious looks and unhappy fathers.

ARUN NIDHI is a person who was raised on 'quiet down' and 'stop moving around so much.'

CY SEGAL is someone who was raised to be a happy person and still wasn’t able to be.

DAYA DA SILVA IGLESIAS is a girl who was raised to have a smile on her face despite her sleepless nights.

AZI TYALI is a girl who was raised to understand emotions but never learned how to express them.

These people aren't made for each other. They weren't destined to meet. But they did, and they fell in love with each other.

——————————————————————

CHARACTERS

Art O'Cahan (he/him)

Art was raised in a nomadic group of mainly Irish people like himself and Polish people. The death of his mother in childbirth solidified him as a social outcast from birth. His father never stepped forward to take care of him, too angry and grief-filled, so his aunt Indie stepped forward instead. The rejection from the group as a whole and his father resulted in self-esteem issues that started nearly from birth. As he got older, he became more and more distant from the group until he ran away at six. A traveling Claude and Cy found him half-starved and took him in. Claude was the first person who actually cared about him beyond familial necessity and helped him figure out he had inattentive type ADHD and taught him Muay Thai. Art is semi-neurotic, kind of the "Debbie Downer" of the group (along with Azi), and a terrible insomniac. Although he's the one to snap his siblings back to reality, he's very protective of them, which works since he has a very intimidating appearance at 6'3" with nearly black eyes and taped hands. He's one of the most touchy of his siblings and is INCREDIBLY touch-starved (give this little guy a hug bro). One of his most prevalent symptoms of ADHD is memory loss and often loses gaps in his recent memory, leading to one of his biggest fears of forgetting the people he loves.

Arun Nidhi (they/them)

Arun was born in Chennai, India, one of the few Indian cities left on earth. They met Claude, Cy, and Art when they were seven after leaving Chennai and traveling Southern Asia with a few other nomads. Arun pretty much to one look at Claude, Cy and Art and said 'later' to the other nomads and let themself into their group. Cy liked them immediately and Art was annoyed with them immediately. Arun is a very energetic, self-confident person. They butt heads with Art the most, usually just because they can and Art humors them. They're one of the more eccentric ones of the group, and can be described as an 'acquired taste'. They love to talk shit about anything and anyone, and cannot keep a secret to save their life. With unfamiliar people, they're more sarcastic and rougher overall, but with their siblings, they're generally a proud nuisance. They have a fondness for stick bugs and generally only eat canned food even if better food is available to them. Their energetic and excitable nature is used as a mask to hide their depression.

Cypress "Cy" Segal (she/he/they)

Cy had been with Claude pretty much since birth. She was born and raised in Halifax, Canada until she turned five and then Claude basically hauled ass to explore to world with her. Cy is Art's best friend and very much fills the role of middle child to Art's oldest brother. He's more calm and collected than most of his siblings and he is very grounded and aware of what happens around him. Overall, they're just a very steady person, not really a head-in-the-clouds type. She has memory problems and often collects natural items from specific places she wants to remember. He always has some form of jacket on and is perpetually cold. They're the semi-peacemaker of the group, so when there are fights they put in a half-assed attempt to stop it and somehow it usually works. She's heterochromatic with one green eye and one brown eye and has different levels of vision in different eyes. Due to a fight as a child, his hearing got damaged in his right ear, which led to him and his siblings learning ASL after it eventually got worse and he lost total hearing in his right ear. They also struggle with suicidal thoughts.

Daya da Silva Iglesias (she/her)

Daya was born and raised by a nomadic group of primarly Chilean and Angolan people in Santiago de Chile, Chile. Eventually, they began traveling again when Daya was around six. When Daya was seven she accidentally wandered away from the group in the Guatemala-Belize area. After a few days, she managed to find a Belizean city where Claude, Cy, Art, and Arun found her dehydrated and confused and nursed her back to health. Daya trusts people to a fault and gives them too much grace when they take advantage of her. She's definitely like the youngest child of her siblings and is very much the happy sweetheart of the group despite the trauma she experienced. Daya is on the autism spectrum, and some of her stims include clapping, tapping, humming, cracking bones, snapping, clicking her tongue, etc. Her bones crack a lot, if due to some physical condition, she doesn't know, she never experiences extreme pain from it. She makes bracelets and crochets beanies for all her siblings and carries around a bag that holds the mushrooms, pretty rocks, bird feathers, and butterfly wings that she finds. Daya struggles with chronic nightmares and insomnia as a result. Art started staying up with her to help her fall asleep and eventually, insomnia stuck with him too.

Vuyokazi "Azi" Tyali (she/her)

Azi was born into a nomadic group in South Africa of mainly Xhosa and Zulu people. When she was seven, she snuck away due to treatment from the group and survived in Cape Town for a few months. When she saw Claude, Cy, Art, Arun, and Daya in the port she was interested and followed them through the city. A few days later, Cy found her and offered to let her join them. Azi hesitantly agreed but found herself perfectly at home with them. When she started traveling with them, Claude taught her how to throw knives. She’s a really indecisive person, usually letting Daya decide things for her. Azi is incredibly perceptive of other people's body language and can detect emotions relatively easily. Out of all her siblings, Azi is the coldest and the most intimidating with her hooded eyes and piercing stare. She has a certain fondness for subway trains and graffitied places. Similarly, she likes to paint herself and let it dry to feel the paint crack against her skin. She only ever wears necklaces she can slip over her head and never ones with clasps. Azi has a panic disorder and suffers from panic attacks, leaving her in the state she hates most — vulnerable.

Dominique "Domi" Larieux Morais (he/they)

Domi was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, where he was raised with his sister five years his senior. When they were nine, they moved to New Orleans, U.S.A. He left New Orleans to travel as a nomad when he was fifteen. Later, when they were nineteen, Domi met Art while he was separated from his siblings. Domi followed him until Art decided to just ask Domi if he wanted to travel with him. Domi agreed and the two traveled together for about a year and a half until Art found his siblings again. Domi isn’t necessarily social, but they do talk a lot when they’re alone by themself, to the point they’d started talking to themself constantly. When Art started traveling with him, he wouldn’t talk for hours, sometimes days on end. Eventually they loosened up and started talking to Art more. Domi is an artist, usually drawing natural items around him or random people that stick out to him in cities. They like the feeling of weight on their bones, so they wear large, chunky rings and baggy jackets with weights they have sewn into the collars. Domi carries a hollow metal pipe around with him as a form of protection (and almost broke Art’s ribs with it when he first met him). Domi also suffers from intrusive thoughts and occasionally SHs.

Naia Zorita (she/they)

Born and raised in Lima, Peru, Naia was raised by a group of women that owned a fightclub where they taught her Rumi Maki boxing. When she was twelve, she left the city to travel around South America. After traveling for about six years, Naia met Azi in Fortaleza, Brazil. After annoying her for several days, Azi finally relented and let Naia travel with them. She immediately got along with Arun, much to Azi’s displeasure. Despite her short stature, leading some to believe she isn’t a threat, Naia is a competitive, proud fighter with a knack for getting into situations Cy has to drag her out of. She likes to walk through the cities that haven’t been saved, the cities that were left to crumble into the ground, and examine all the old cars that are now ruined. Sometimes she sits in them and imagines what it would be like if she ever learned to drive. She adores old churches with stained glass windows, often breaking the windows with a dented metal baseball bat she carries around with her and stealing glass to keep in her pockets. Naia suffers from dissociation and struggles with depression.

——————————————————————

Worldbuilding

Cities

Cities only have one ruler, and positions of power are passed onto people through a series of games (with no official name, but most people call them the Election, even though no voting is taking place). that singler ruler works under the name King (regardless of gender) [insert first name] (ex. the ruler of Chennai would be King Tharahi/this isn’t true, it’s just an example). Of course, it varies by region, but rulers are often on the same economic level as civilians (as a way to deter people who would just participate to become richer) and are people that you have a chance of seeing in day-to-day life. Each ruler’s personality varies but they are always very involved in the happenings of their city.

Nomads

Large nomad groups (30-70 people) usually have a group of 2-4 people leading, with one main leader of that group. for ex. Art’s nomad group is led by Maja (she/they), Bazyli (he/him), and Ayda (they/them). Extra fact: in nomad groups, (adult) people w/ uteruses are highly respected as they are the only people who can reproduce and keep the group alive (including trans men/intersex/afab nonbinary people), which is why Art is an outcast, since his mother died in childbirth. Obviously no one is held to a higher status than others but the respect is still there. Extra extra fact: people are considered mature at 14, but only considered adults at 20.

Smaller nomad groups (5-20 people) don’t usually have set leaders, instead making decisions as a group. Extra fact: if only one family is traveling, no matter how big, they are not legally or culturally recognized as a nomad group, instead as just a traveling family.

Customs

While many nomadic groups have different customs, there are some customs used globally by nomads and city-folk alike. Following the apocalypse, many people started collecting shiny things as a beacon of hope for a brighter future. The tradition stuck, and collecting pretty items became a custom even long after major reconstruction. Nomads also started wearing more natural tones to blend in with the world around them. Traditional currency never resurfaced, leaving barter and trade the main form of buy-and-pay. Most forms of working appear as volunteering. Plants became one of the main destructors of cities not rebuilt, so, when religion resurfaced, lots of the deities were plant-oriented. Weather also became a prominent motif in religion post-2023. Dates were tracked in a new way, with a refresh on the years, making what was supposed to be 2024 now zero — (day, month), year (year number).

[sgenvs3000f24]

Unit 7 Blog Post

Living in the 21st century, our easy access and constant exposure to music can make us numb to its significance. Music is integral in all human cultures and has been key in community building since ancient times (Sahi, 2012). Some even hypothesize that music “predates humans--that rather than being the inventors of music, [humans] are latecomers to the musical scene” (Gary et al., 2001). This provokes questions about the origins of music and the reasons for its existence. In regards to culture and history, it is likely that human music “developed in contact with local nature and thus reflects the nature” around particular communities (Sahi, 2012). The extrapolation and utilization of nature in music is quite evident in many cultures, particularly in their folk music. Rune singing used for Finnish folk music contains rich lyrics describing the natural environment around them (Sahi, 2012). 

 After this week’s content, I was inspired to inspect my own culture’s music to see how large of an impact nature had on it. As I delved back into my favorite old-school Bollywood songs, I found that the most beloved songs usually drew inspiration from the natural environment. Nature is an excellent source of unique melodies and sound patterns that help facilitate the rhymes and vocals particularly for Bollywood songs. There are likely universal mathematics (Gary et al., 2001) within certain nature-sounds that catch our attention more than others, ones that invoke inspiration for composers. You can find music in nature when you listen to the wind whistling through mountains, or by observing the rhythmic pattern of the rain falling on the ground, or through the chirping of the birds. Bollywood composers often choose female singers with very high pitched voices (i.e. Lata Mangeshkar), which I believe they do to resemble song birds. Musical patterns in nature bring forth specific feelings for listeners (i.e. thunder correlates to fear/surprise, while ocean waves correlate with calmness), which is why percussion instruments are used to mimic abiotic sounds/patterns and add depth of a song. For example, Bollywood composers use the tabla to mimic thunder sounds and the ghunghroo to imitate rustling leaves.

Pyaar ki ek kahani is a song I particularly love because it takes me back to the mountain landscapes I visited in India. The background vocals remind me of how my voice echoed when I was in the valley areas or near river banks. The softness of the male singer’s vocals invokes the same feelings of airiness that I felt at that high altitude. The female singer’s voice mimics the beautiful sounds of the birds in the morning.

(Song context: The male character lives a peaceful life in a mountain village of Manila, India. A new journey starts for him when he meets a city girl. The use of mountain scenery, a song that creates a mountain ambience, and the characters’ story all work together to create feelings of airiness, openness, and blissful naivety.) 

Reference:

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage: For a Better World. Sagamore Publishing LLC.

Gray, P. M., Krause, B., Atema, J., Payne, R., Krumhansl, C., & Baptista, L. (2001). The Music of Nature and the Nature of Music. Science, 291(5501), 52. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A69270354/AONE?u=guel77241&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=fb9366a8

Sahi, V. (2012). Using folk traditional music to communicate the sacredness of nature in Finland. Spiritual Values of Protected Areas of Europe Workshop Proceedings. (pg 129-132). https://www.silene.ong/en/documentation-centre/spiritual-values-of-protected-areas-of-europe-workshop-proceedings#Proceedings_Spiritual%20Values_PAs_Europe.pdf

[theroseempress]

Felix and Kiseki for the physical description ask?

oh two of my boys!

I'll start with Felix since i have much more text with him. (buckle your seatbelts this might take a hot second)

Starting with two descriptions of him by Nerium in this piece, the latter of which is my personal favourite description of him! (technically he's like 13 or something in this, which is about 10 years younger than he is when the book starts, but shhhh the vibes still match)

... The boy had quite delicate, sharp, features, though they still had a soft look to them. Nerium was guessing he was somewhere in the area of thirteen. His hair was just past chin length, at an awkward length where it was just short enough to not fit properly into a ponytail or other restraint, but just long enough to get in the way, with a swooping half-fringe that draped over the right side of his forehead, almost falling into his eyes. The rich red of his tunic and tidy fit of the black undershirt were both definitely noble clothing, but there was a fairly sizable rip on the tunic’s side that had been sewn up in a distinctively inexperienced manner.

... (In the future, whenever Nerium thought back to this first meeting, this image was always the first that came to mind. Felix, grinning, eyes still sparkling with laughter and evening sun, hair almost golden in the dappled sunlight seeping through the autumn leaves above, one hand still shepherding loose hair out of his eyes and the other resting on his cane again. Something about the picture had always felt ethereal to Nerium, and though he no longer thought of Felix as the boy from a fairy tale, some moments it seemed all too accurate.)

Veering closer into canon, here's how Helen describes Felix when she first meets him. (RIP George, whoever he was)

...she’d moved about two crates by the time she noticed an unfamiliar young man walking across the grass. Frowning, Helen paused halfway through lifting another crate, and squinted at said young man. The first thing that caught her eye was his past-shoulder-length bright copper hair, and the second thing was how easily he was interacting with the various carnival hands he passed. Actually, maybe that should have been the first thing she’d noticed, considering Helen had never seen him before. Helen huffed, rolling her eyes. Good heavens, George, how many times do people have to tell you to pay attention to who’s going backstage? Despite the fact that the ginger was definitely not a carnival member, he seemed entirely at home in the bustle of the backstage area, ducking around two brothers as they carried a heap of cables across the grass with a wink, neatly avoiding getting run over by Rosie (one of Helen’s fellow dancers, who as usual appeared to be late for something) and waving at her as she receded into the chaos. Helen watched a moment longer, then decided he wasn’t her problem (that would be George’s problem when India found out he’d let another visitor sneak backstage, to be specific).

And last but not least, here's Scarlet's description of Felix when she first meets him, this one's getting very close to where canon starts.

Scarlet cast a glance at him out of the corner of her eye, curious. They were about the same height, she realized with some surprise. Probably a lot closer than it actually looked- casting a glance down at Monarch’s feet- considering he appeared to be wearing platform boots. Aside from said boots, Monarch was dressed simply in a dark blue tunic, knee-length loose black coat and black gloves with several rings. He had dark hair just past shoulder length, tied back in a ponytail, and… to Scarlet’s surprise, a pale turquoise courting necklace poking out from his tunic’s neck. “You’re surprisingly nice.” Scarlet observed. “Also kinda short. You’re like, the same height as me.” “Thank you,” Monarch replied, “also, rude. True, but rude.” They continued walking for a moment, breeze ruffling the end of Monarch’s coat and snapping at the various awnings. Monarch walked quite softly, Scarlet noted, the only sound he was making was the click of his cane on the cobbles.

Canonically Felix is not exactly the same height as Scarlet; she's five-six/167 and he's five-seven/170, but he's still definitely short for a man in Solace. (average height is around five-ten/177)

other details that aren't in text or I didn't include here:

Shannon calls Felix the sun pretty often, make of that what you will.

I call Felix ethereal pretty often, make of that what you will as well.

Felix is described as moving in a feline way quite often, and I personally write him with the thought in mind that he basically never stays still.

Somehow none of these descriptions mention it, but Felix is heterochromatic; his left eye's green and his right eye's blue.

He also has burn scars on the left side of his face and neck; those ones didn't get mentioned in text because he didn't have them in the first piece, he's too far away from Helen for her to notice in the second, and he's wearing a mask that covers his face in the third.

His hair's not dark as the third piece would suggest, it's bright ginger, but when he's out as Monarch he wears a wig. His hair's still the same length though.

Felix really likes wearing eyeshadow and jewelry, but he doesn't actually do it much due to that being a distinctly Amorian preference and him spending a lot of time around Solite nobility.

He's pretty obviously of Amorian blood, significantly less so than his twin brother Shannon (who's still a ginger but it's much more diluted; also he's not heterochromatic), which can cause quite a bit of conflict due to Amorians not being very well accepted in Solace.

(technically he's half Amorian and half Solite but the second half isn't very obvious)

He wears a lot of rings and is constantly fiddling with them.

He wears pretty flashy clothes.

Now, Kiseki on the other hand, I don't actually have any in-text descriptions of him, Mercy City being a newer WIP of mine. I do, however, have his physical description in the MC character doc! (here's that)

Kiseki Terris- Physical description- Male, 20. 5’7, lithe build with strong sleeper muscles. Suntanned freckled light skin, slanted dark brown eyes. Neck-length straight near-black dark brown hair with a sharp fringe. Nearsighted, wears glasses.

I think his glasses are the rounded-rectangular type ones, the frame's probably metal and silver.

I can't think of anything else, so thank you for the ask! Hope this wasn't too wall-of-text-y I just have a lot of thoughts on my fictional people (don't worry Kiseki's definitely going to get there as well in a bit)

[laurfilijames]

Home

Pairing: George Lowe x female reader

Words: 1,166

Warnings: Unprotected intercourse (not described), nudity.

Summary: George is home after being away for weeks in India, and the weight of missing him carries on even after your reunion, especially knowing he will be leaving again to try to conquer Everest.

A/N: I was away from home for 10 days and it physically hurt how much I missed my man, so this was written with some very fresh, first-hand feelings.

The series Hillary takes place in the 50's and I realize that pre-martial sex was frowned upon but it's me so we're going with it.

Prompts used for @deanobingo were Aftercare, "Don't move", and George Lowe

Photos courtesy of @blairsanne (I couldn't choose just one because LOOK AT HIM so there's another photo at the bottom of that beautiful face)

---

“I missed you,” he breathed, his quiet words reverberating softly enough it seemed like only your incomplete heart could hear them; cradled in your chest where his lips rested now, his beard scratching against the surface as if attempting to uncover it. 

You held George closer - as if possible - still feeling that ache deep within you even though you had no reason to miss him anymore; the time apart proving almost too much for you to bear. 

“I missed you too.” 

You spoke into the mess of soft curls atop his head, carding your arms around him as though you would melt into him if you did, the need to be as close to him as possible for as long as you could overwhelming. 

His breathing slowed beneath your palms as they smoothed over his warm back, the pattern evening out to contrast from how laboured it was only moments ago, and as he looked up at you it was hard to tell if his cheeks were tinted a reddish hue from his earlier efforts or from the sun reflecting on the blinding snow to cast a burn that lingered on his weathered skin. You traced your finger over the bridge of his nose, taking in the face you missed staring back at you so much it physically hurt, earning a smile that warmed you through despite feeling like an inferno already. 

His beard had thickened since he had left, but not enough to hide his dimples when he grinned like that, the colour a rich auburn compared to his hair that had been bleached by the elements which gave him a warm, sunkissed glow that matched the sheen that coated him from your lovemaking.  

The scent of him hung in the air around you, so potent now you'd been without it for too long, yet so familiar there was no way you could ever forget it. To indulge in it more, you tucked your face into the crook of his neck, prompting him to wrap his arms around you to keep you flush against his body. George took his turn in running his rough hands up and down your back, caressing you as much as he had throughout your entire reunion so far, his lips moving to press gentle kisses on your neck and collarbone. 

As he began to soften within you, you shifted your hips on his lap, moaning faintly at the sensation of his spend leaking out of your over-sensitive sex. George locked his arms around you tighter, preventing you from moving, shushing quietly in your ear. 

"Don't move," he whispered, knowing he needed to stay near you as much as you needed the same, the weeks-long trip to Nepal weighing on him more than he had let on. 

“Can we stay like this forever?” he murmured, his voice muffled as he kissed along your jawline, his beard tickling you each time his lips moved. 

“Please,” you answered, still feeling so desperate for him you could cry, relishing in the way he engulfed you in his strong arms. “I'll go out of my mind when you go to Everest.” 

Your admission came out strangled, dreading another stint that would be longer and more dangerous than this last one. 

He sighed heavily, applying a gentle squeeze with his arms around your middle. 

“Just one more, I promise,” he assured you, kissing your cheek while bringing his hand up to cup the other side, turning your head to face him again. “I have to do this.” 

His look was pleading, searching your eyes with his flaming blue ones, and burying your selfish desires for him to stay home, you nodded, knowing you loved him too much to get in the way of fulfilling his dreams. 

“I know.” 

"Until then," he smiled gently, his eyes bright in knowing he had your support, "I intend to make up every moment I've been robbed of you." 

You smiled against his lips as he kissed you, his chuckle vibrating through his chest onto yours, and you wished that not even the everyday tasks like eating and drinking would interrupt you from hiding away together until he had to leave again. 

The movement of his lips slowed, gradually fading out to brush ever so lightly on your moistened, swollen flesh, and parted from you to look at you seriously. 

"I hope you know how much I love you," he spoke, his voice hoarse and holding a heavier tone than it usually did. 

"Of course I do, George."

Your fingers found their way into his long waves again, smoothing them back out of his face as they threatened to fall in his eyes, and with a kiss on his forehead, his features cracked into an easy smile. 

"I love you, too," you vowed, holding his face in your hands so his soft beard tickled your palms, bringing him into a meaningful kiss. 

When your kiss broke, George cleared his throat, almost nervously, and not making eye contact with you, he spoke quickly.

"Marry me?"

"What?" you blurted, convinced you misheard.

"Will you marry me?" he repeated, finally looking at you, his blue eyes slightly wet. "I-I mean, I don't have a ring to give you, or money to buy one but-" he stammered, his eyebrows rising with the pitch of his voice, his head shaking quickly from side to side like he was dismissing the idea as absolute ludicrousy. 

"All I have is this," he continued, blinking at you as he leaned over to the bedside table and plucked a small, circular piece of material from it. 

He held it up between your bodies, revealing a strand of what appeared to be from the shoelace of his boot that had been tied at both ends to form a ring, and smiled weakly with a shrug. 

"I made it one night on the mountain when I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"It's perfect," you exclaimed, feeling your heart pummel the inside of your chest wildly. 

"Is that a yes, then?" he asked, waiting with bated breath for your answer, his hopeful pools of blue dancing frantically in the lamplight. 

"Yes!"

He laughed heartily and gave an excited shout, wrapping his arms around you tightly to squeeze you like a vice, his joy unmatched. 

Still chuckling as he sighed out, George took your left hand and carefully slipped the worn string around your fourth finger, his cheeks red and round as he beamed at you. 

You rubbed your fingers together to shift the material, amazed at how it felt wrapped securely around your ring finger and even more in awe at how such an ordinary piece of nothing symbolized so much. 

"Maybe there'll be diamonds at the top of Everest," he chuckled again, his cheeks twitching as the disappointing reality of that hope set in. 

"I don't need diamonds, George," you assured, thinking it impossible for a woman to value gems above the unconditional love of a wonderful man. "I just need you." 

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[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2022

Another pretty decent year for pop music ; a very slow one, with a lot of trash, but the good stuff was so good making a top 10 took me ages, unlike 2021 where it was way easier. Outside of the top 100, some incredible stuff dropped this year too, so yeah - even if the charts don't always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. Again, again. How was your 2022??

Still didn't catch covid but I did catch a very nasty cold a month ago. Still drawing and writing a lot, and also spending more and more time customising my clothes with dumb patches and embroidered messages and stuff.

I went to a LOT of concerts this year, and they were all fantastic for completely different reasons! I'm so glad I finally have the budget to do this without feeling guilty or cutting down some more vital stuff. So yeah. I went to see My Chemical Romance, The Soft Moon, Sigur Ros, Placebo and Enter Shikari. Before that the last concert I had attended was VNV Nation all the way back in 2019!

Speaking of which, let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2022 or in late 2021, and this is going to be pretty long.

Albums

I have to mention that I tried to get into Ghost this year. It's definitely not for me apart from a couple of songs, but also, Impera was pretty bad. Probably wasn't a good idea to start listening to these guys in their current era.

I also have to mention that I've been thoroughly disappointed by Mainstream Sellout, because I'm one of those weirdos who actually liked Tickets to my Downfall by Machine Gun Kelly. But yeah, the guy became self-aware, and that's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Awful. Emo Girl is unintentionally funny, though.

Not sure this counts as an "album" since it's an EP, and a five minutes-long one at that, but Snake Eyes by 100 Gecs made me even more excited for their new album in 2023.

Electric Callboy's Tekkno is dumb and funny in all the right ways and I'm glad they got so much positive attention out of it. That's trolling with actual effort and passion put into it and it's kind of a lost art form at this point. The music videos are amazing too.

Rakshak by Bloodywood is exactly the kind of thing Nu Metal needed to move forward and I love the fact that energy came from India, of all places. A lot of fresh ideas, generally interesting topics and politics ; I'm sold. This is great. More, please.

Muna by uh Muna didn't leave much of an impression on me at first but I kept thinking about it and I eventually came back to it to relisten to it several times later in the year. I'm not sure what it means. Probably something good, though. Maybe it will be one of my faves of the year in retrospect..? Also it's very gay, which never hurts.

I'm somewhat conflicted about Being Funny in a Foreign Language by The 1975. Objectively, it's probably their best album ; it's straightforward, it's very well produced, it has a couple of bangers. Subjectively, I'm not even sure I'd place it above Notes on a Conditional Form, which if you recall was a GIGANTIC MESS, just because the highs of this mess were stratospheric compared to the ones the new album has. Still really good, but I miss the chaos.

Death's Dynamic Shroud's Dark Life has SO MANY different ideas going in so many different directions it's kind of a miracle that the album stays so coherent. The colors and the textures are sometimes so complex and layered that just listening to them to try to pick them apart becomes a stim to me. Beautiful.

I only found this album last month but Dimensional Bleed by Holy Fawn is one of the best post rock things I've ever heard since Sigur Ros stopped releasing new music

Exister by The Soft Moon comes so close to being my album of the year. SO close. Among all the musicians trying to become the new Trent Reznor, this guy's the only credible candidate for me, just because he's not afraid to try really weird shit. When I saw him live in October, the last thing he played had a castanets solo over huge electronic beats. And it went hard as hell! I sincerely hope his future stuff will be even better. I'm sold.

But uh. Guys. I'm sorry.

I'm so predictable. Never Let Me Go, Placebo's comeback album, is my favorite album of the year. Of course, when one of my favorite bands ever decided to release new music after nearly ten years of nothing, I was thrilled, but also worried it would disappoint me. The first singles were amazing, but what if? What if the rest of the album wasn't as good? And yet, by the time it was over, I was trying to determine if it was my third or fourth fave album in their discography. Even now, I'd only put Meds and Sleeping With Ghosts above this one. It's distinctly them, but full of new and interesting ideas. I'm beyond happy things turned out so well.

Unelligible Songs

There's a TON of them! Because that year was very good! This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill.

Should I start with some Gecs? I feel like I should start with some Gecs. So here's Doritos and Fritos, Hey Big Man and Torture Me. You're welcome.

While we're at it, if you've never watched any of the recent Electric Callboy music videos, your day is about to get slightly better. I suggest Pump It and Spaceman. Also both are actually good songs on top of being funny.

I might have trashtalked Ghost's new album earlier but Spillways is like Poison 2.0. That's a compliment by the way

I've not always enjoyed what these guys made post-Hot Fuss, but Boy by the Killers should definitely have been a hit.

What I Want by Muna also has this "should have been a huge hit" aura. I'm feeling every line of this chorus in my bones. Best song about delayed adolescence for queer people

Are we making a list of songs that should have been hits? Let me add Metric with What feels like eternity, then

However, American Teenager by Ethel Cain might still have a slight chance of becoming a hit song in the future. I want to believe

Hey do you want some cringe. Cause here's Slaughterhouse by Motionless In White oops

JEZEBEEEEEEEEEEL IF YOU'RE THE HUNTER THEN I'M THE PREYYYYYY

At this point I'm pretty sure I've listened to Precious Hearts by The Birthday Massacre for about six hours over the course of 2022 but since I'm an old idiot who only listens to music through .mp3 files and doesn't use spotify I have no way to check

My very first contact with Bloodywood was Dana Dan, and what a first impression that was. Turn the subtitles on, by the way.

Go_A dropped an absolute banger called Kalyna at the very start of the Ukraine war and it might just be their best track so far.

I am legally obligated to mention The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance. Is it their best song? Hell no. Is it mixed like shit? Yes. Is it way to long? Absolutely. Do I enjoy it? Immensely. Also it had no music video and no promotion. What a power move

Nurture by Porter Robinson, which I mentioned last year as one of my favorite albums in a year full of incredible ones, was still one of my most listened-to albums of 2022, so it feels right to mention a song he released outside of any album this year (Everything Goes On).

Avantasia is back, with a..... an album I didn't like very much, oops, but damn, The Moonflower Society is one of their best songs ever. Long live ridiculous over-the-top power metal with super-serious poetry as lyrics.

Born Yesterday by Quadeca sounds like Sigur Ros trying to make a radio-friendly song, and it sounds absolutely immaculate. Also it's about someone who killed himself just before his birthday and his ghosts deeply regrets that decision

This is not the end by Gareth Emery might be standard EDM, but it's also genuinely comforting to hear these lyrics

I need to put a break here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post this thing. Are you still there? Ok good.

El Alma Que Te Trajo (Safety Trance ft. Arca). Send tweet

It's kind of funny that emo came back a couple of years ago through 8-o-8's and sad rappers with face tattoos. It's even funnier that I genuinely enjoyed some of their stuff. It's even-even funnier that some of them are straight-up doing pop punk stuff now. All of this to say that I love Girl Next Door by Lil Lotus

If you've followed anything in the metal scene this year you already know that Lorna Shore absolutely killed it in 2022. Hell yeah let's put some melodies in deathcore, I'm all for it. Anyway Sun//Eater is great

I should probably recommend some cool music that cool people like before I humiliate myself further by recommending more edgy shit, so this is the perfect time to say that Judgment Bolt, Neon Memories and Messe de E-102 are now permanently etched somewhere in my brain. Seriously please listen to Darklife by Death's Dynamic Shroud if you have the slightest, smallest interest in electronic music I beg you

Ok back to the cringe. Speaking of neons, here's Neon Grave by Dayseeker. I've never liked a song by these guys before so this was a bit of a surprise for me

Also I've listened to it again and again but I still want to cry every time I hear This is what you wanted by Placebo. Not sure why it's my absolute favorite track on an album full of fantastic tracks. Not sure what it says about me. Not sure I want to know

I think I mentioned an Enter Shikari concert. Not sure I can call myself a fan yet, but I spent an ungodly amount of hours listening to their old and new stuff in 2022. Turns out one of my favorite songs they ever made is one of the newest ones, The Void Stares Back. This is exactly the kind of surreal and borderline apocalyptic lyrics I need in my life. I even bought a t-shirt saying "I'm the child with the telescope eyes" at that concert oops

Oh Caroline is one of the best songs The 1975 ever made and, like all my fave songs from that band, it's deeply awkward and embarrassing. It's a guy begging his ex to come back and it gets humiliating. Perfection. Thank you

Just when you thought this list couldn't get worse I'm about to confess I love The Boy in the Black Dress by Yungblud. Can't get the image of a teenager trying to remove his nail polish with his teeth after a teacher told him he looked girly out of my head now. God I love narrative songs so much

We've reached the terminal velocity of musical cringe so here's sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon because OF FUCKING COURSE I love sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon. You must be new here. WE'RE DYING TO LIVE AND WE'RE LIVING TO DIIIIIIIIIIE

Also I'm not going to recommend too many the Soft Moon songs but Become the Lies is now a classic for me only six months after it came out, and I've been obsessed with Him (ft Fish Narc, who kills it as the evil twin of the narrator) to the point of making fanart of the mental amv I have for it. Might even upload it after finishing this post, I'm not sure.

Honorable Mentions

Tití me preguntó (Bad Bunny) - I swear I had this song playing in my brain for days and I'm not even sure I like it.

Jour meilleur (Orelsan) - I'm usually not the biggest fan of the guy, but this one is really nice.

As it was (Harry Styles) - Perfectly serviceable little pop tune.

Where are you now (Lost Frequencies) - A great earworm.

Enemy (Imagine Dragons) - Listen. It's bad. But I can't get over the fact that an overly-hated band made a song where the chorus literally screams "EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYY", it's so much fun to sing along with it

Shivers (Ed Sheeran) - Do I really like Ed Sheeran now. Is this my life. Is this what growing old feels like

Belly Dancer (Imanbek & BYOR) - I'm going to the gym now and this is on their playlist. It's completely brainless but it had a serious chance to end on my actual top ten at some point. I physically can't listen to it without at the very least tapping my foot on the floor.

One Right Now (Post Malone & The Weeknd) - This WAS on my list at some point but I ended up cutting it. Nobody seems to like this song, and I love it for all the wrong reasons. Namely, the fact that a duet between two male singers talking about someone cheating on them sounds like they cheated on each other. And I think that's unintentional comedy gold.

Bad habit (Steve Lacy) - The very last cut I had to make. It's a wonderful song, and I simply adore its vibe, but I tend to lose some interest after 2:20 for some reason. No idea why.

Pretty sure there's nobody still reading this post. Which might be good because there's one deeply humiliating pick on this top ten. Let's do this

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

10 - Santé (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #90

I still can't believe this idiot climbed his way out of depression and burnout just to tell every emergency worker to join a union. What a king. Legends only

Also I seriously considered putting it at the top of this list in very early 2022 if the year turned out to be mediocre. I never expected it to be placed so low in the end. That's a good thing, by the way

9 - Break my soul (Beyoncé)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

So uh. As far as I know there's still no music video for this one, which is kind of a power move in this day and age, not gonna lie. But yeah. You know me. Can't resist a eurodance diva. And Beyoncé as a eurodance diva is all I ever wanted and more. What the hell happened this year, music-wise, seriously

8 - J'la connais, pt. 1 (Emkal)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Okay, the autotune is a bit grating. Doesn't matter.

Look, I usually dislike this kind of songs and singers always talking about girls cheating on them and stuff. But no, this dude right there is singing about people telling him his girlfriend is going to cheat on him, and he basically tells them he trusts her more than them ("Cette fille, j'la connais, eh, mais toi, tu es qui ? On se connaît ?" ("I know that girl, eh - but you? who are you again?"). Very refreshing. Well played, sir.

7 - Thunder (Gabry Ponte)

US: Not on the list / FR: #59

BEHOLD. THERE IS NOW A GOOD SONG CALLED "THUNDER" ON THE CHARTS. AND IT'S COMPLETELY BRAINLESS.

So uh, this one also plays at the gym. It's just some very basic and very commercial EDM. For some reason, it kinda sounds like a pirate song to me, the kind of thing you'd drink to on an adventure or something like that. There's not a lot that can be said about it. The colors are especially trippy, though.

Does it look like I'm stalling for time? Uh, maybe I am.

Oh god, here comes the really embarrassing part.

6 - Bad habits (Ed Sheeran ft Bring Me The Horizon)

US: #13 / FR: #53

So uh. This was in my honorable mentions last year:

And it was slowly exiting the charts when this new version dropped all of a sudden in mid-February, with way more guitars and bombast, and of course Oli Sykes screaming his head out at the end. And it climbed up the charts all over again.

And since I'm a major sucker with no taste, of course I loved it.

Doesn't make up for the fact the lyrics are still very vague and Ed Sheeran is still Ed Sheeran, but clearly that wasn't enough to keep this version of the song off my list. It's enough to make me question my choices, though. Steve Lacy should probably be there instead.

Eh. Too late now.

5 - Numb Little Bug (Em Behold)

US: #32 / FR: Not on the list

I initially put this one higher ; I'm not tired of it or anything, it's just that I don't listen to it as often as some things above it. And it got popular through TikTok, too - I'd ask if the kids are okay, but we all know the answer to that question, I think. I can't get over how brutal these lyrics are for what's essentially a cute pop song. And yeah, that's a huge mood. Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Yes! Quite often actually! Glad we're all on the same page, at least. It's somewhat comforting.

Imagine how bleak and scary that song would be if it was more serious and less upbeat, though.

Oh. Oh shit.

4 - L'Enfer (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #46

Guess we don't have to imagine. Guess it already exists. Guess it's on the French year-end chart. And it's absolutely terrifying.

Look, I'm glad Stromae is back. I'm glad he feels better. But uh- yeah. This track is genuinely hard to listen to. I'm pretty sure it's objectively better than the three songs I placed above it, but yeah.

J'ai parfois eu des pensées suicidaires, et j'en suis peu fier (I've had suicidal thoughts at times and I'm not proud of it) On croit parfois que c'est la seule manière de les faire taire (Sometimes you think that's the only way to shut them up) Ces pensées qui me font vivre un enfer (These thoughts that make my life hell)

Yeah.

3 - About Damn Time (Lizzo)

US: #12 / FR: Not on the list

I had a hard time deciding where to rank this song between #3 and #2. Maybe I should say it's a tie. It changes day to day with my mood, really.

But yeah, thank you Lizzo for being a combo breaker in this short series of songs about addiction and depression and death! This one is impossible to resist. You hear it and you just have to move or tap your feet and smile. And-

I'm way too fine to be this stressed, yeah Oh, I'm not the girl I was or used to be, uh Bitch, I might be better

Favorite lyrics of the year? I don't know. Maybe. Amazing, in any case. Thank you for this gift, madam.

2 - That's What I Want (Lil Nas X)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaaaand back to the sadness. Well, not really. The song itself is pretty upbeat. In any case, you've probably seen that one coming from a mile away because of my 2021 Unelligible Songs list:

And yeah! It's elligible at last! I'm so, so happy. And I want Lil Nas X to find love and be happy too. Montero was gay as hell, Industry Baby was a victory lap, but this one? This one is the guy bearing his soul and you can feel it even through the impeccable production and pop sensibilities. Cry your heart out to this upbeat tune, my friend, it's gonna be okay. And we love you.

1 - Meet Me At Our Spot (The Anxiety)

US: #74 / FR: Not on the list

I think I've listened to this one more than any other song this year and yet I'm still not entirely sure why I love it so much, especially considering it took literal months to grow on me. I can't even describe its vibe. Is it melancholy? No, it's too happy. Is it happy then? No, it's too tired. But it has energy, too. Is it romantic? Not really. What is it?

One thing's for sure, whichever vibe it is, I got lost in it for hours, to the point of creating entire scenes set to it in my mind. Which led to drawings. Which led to me inventing characters completely disconnected from the song and writing a story where the initial scene I visualised is only a small one in the grand scheme of things.

There's magic in this song's vibe, and I've been on a quest to transcribe it, and I will probably fail. In the meantime, thank you for meeting me at this spot. It's been a wild ride. See you next year!

[lifeofacuckhubby]

A little introduction

Dear Readers,

Hope my message finds you well.

First time writing on this site. In fact, first time I have decided to find a voice of my innermost thoughts and feelings, and express it openly to the online world. So please be gentle with me.

As you may have noticed, I have chosen a bit provocative/ taboo name for myself. But, that is the sole reason for me to start writing this diary. I think there comes a time in one's life where he/she has to accept him/herself as they are. And stop trying to wear masks we all do so well time to time in society. I cannot wear such masks anymore. Yes, I am a cuckold husband. And coming this far, I don't mind saying that I am quite happy about it. Looking back at my good and bad experiences perhaps I have been a cuckold in the making for many many years. Now, I embrace it, and try to enjoy, cherish life's experience with open heart.

I was born and brought up in India. I had a difficult childhood. A typical set of problems. Father left when I was very little. Mother was unloving. Lack of money and responsibility do bring family out of such problems since young age. I also have a very soft personality, and it was like that since long. So it was extra difficult to find a way out of troubles. Severe bullying at home, school, in friends circle. Bullying is something of a constant for many many years. Perhaps my soft gentle nature provoked people around me to bully there way with me.

It wasn't all bad. I have seen so many good things happening with me, for me. Since young age I have firmly believed in the presence of higher power than us, that guides us, governs us. Such powers helped me time to time. And some people stood behind me as a guardian angels in life's battle. 

Life goes on. My journey continued. Being extremely shy, introvert and socially awkward I found solace in books, TV and movies. I was very average in school/ college. But my love for books and sticking to work greatly helped me in career. I moved here in the UK in my 20s.

Years passed. Now I am 42 years old. I have a fairly comfortable position in the corporate world. A well paying job. Some good investments and I am also a owner of a small franchise store. 

The wounds you suffer as a child and young boy leaves a deeper marks on you. And its hard to shake off. The sufferings of my past rarely left my side. The wounds were deeper than I expected. On one side I was getting good success in career, on the other side my social side never recovered from past traumas. As I aged, I retracted more and more into my secure shell that was made up of indoor activities, books and lots of TV & movies. Love, relationships and pleasure of intimacy was a thing of other world for me. By the time I was in mid30s, I had already made up my mind about being alone.

But, God, cosmic powers or whatever name one can give, had other plans. After spending my youth alone I finally met someone who would become my wife. We both come from different worlds. But something was common for both of us, a difficult childhood and long lasting suffering that came with it. Though we come from a different worlds, perhaps that's the one thing that brought us together - recognition, compassion and deeper understanding for each others pain and suffering. 

My wife works for an event management company. She is also a stage dace performer. And she built up a good career out of it. She also travels now and then to places for work. When it comes to personality, we are two poles apart. My wife is very social, likes outdoors, adventure activities. She had led free-spirited life. She had been active sexually long before we met, and had her share of affairs and boyfriends. So by the time we met she had seen all and done all. 

With age comes perspective and clarity. So my wife was looking for a stable partner, a place she can call home and build a life with someone nice, loving and caring. However, she also needed her freedom and space when she needs it to pursue her career and activities she likes. 

So, ours in a marriage of convenience on might say. I needed someone to love to, and she needed someone she could depend on without compromising her freedom. 

We are in our fourth year of our marriage. Things are fine between us. I am glad and happy to have a wonderful wife like her. And she is happy to have a supportive, caring and understanding husband like me. Me giving her freedom and space works best for us. She keeps busy and happy and when we together we enjoy our time and relationship together.

The freedom and open-mindedness I have with my wife helped us build us a good life together. However, it also made me a cuckold. 

If you have read so far, thanks! I will continue sharing our story in next journal.

Have a nice day/ night.

Nilesh.