#since my birthday is near the end of summer break | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taejusunju · 2 years ago

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Autumn leaves 🍂

Woonhak x fem!reader genre: fluff, angst word count: 2.39k admin: 🧃

note: Hii okie ik this is pretty long but bare with me, I haven’t written something in a while and this is my first official ff also feel free to leave any feedback. I do know the angst is a lot, had to make it sad you know. Either way I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading. 🤍🧸

Summer was coming to an end, the chilly breeze and colourful leaves falling had already indicated autumn slowly weaving its way. For others it may seem like an ordinary day and nothing special, but autumn was my favourite season. The not so cold and not so hot weather, the colourful leaves falling from trees, this was the time to relish in the colours, wear cozy sweaters and sit by cozy fires, roasting marshmallows while singing your favourite songs, the time for the closeness of others to keep out of the chill of the morning and the dark-eyed darkness of the night.

This time everything would be different, autumn wouldn’t be the same as it had been all the past years for me. The person whom I had shared the beautiful memories of enjoying this season wasn’t going to be with me.

Every autumn my family and I, would go to our cottage on the far side of town for 3 weeks during fall break. I had made many friends and we would have so much fun together. Sometimes I would visit them during spring break too. Till 3 years ago, I had met my best friend woonhak. Me and my friends had visited a new coffee shop opened near us, and that was when I had spotted a cute barista, who later on became my friend and then best friend. Woonhak had always kept in touch with me even when I came back to my hometown. But till last autumn, when he had suddenly started to change and become more colder, and just different. I wasn’t sure what had happened but he wasn’t the same Woonhak who I was bestfriends with. From hours of facetime calls to not a single text message, me and him had completely drifted.

Time sure does fly fast, its fall break of my junior year and me and family are on our way to our cottage. I had texted all my friends, most of them are reaching today and we are excited to finally see each other again. I was wearing my favourite knitted brown sweater that I got gifted on my 14th birthday by woonhak with grey sweatpants and my busted converse. It made me a little upset thinking about how I won’t be able to hangout with him like I used too this break.

Lost in my thoughts, while listening to music and looking outside the window admiring the red and orange leaves scattered across the roads and in the air, the chilly breeze hits my face like ice, sending chills down my spine. We were about to reach the cottage. I could smell the faint scent of firewood and home baked sweets in the air. It felt like I was finally home. When we finally arrived, I ran out the car and straight to the lake down the street. I could hear my parents yelling from behind, telling me to come help with the bags, but I had to go to the lake. Just like I had assumed my friends were already there. Taesan and eunchae were the first to arrive and they came to the lake first. I had missed them so much I ran up to them and hugged them tightly. After a bit we saw jaehyun, sungho, nat and woonhak, coming down the hill. What was he doing here? I forgot for a second that just because he’s not close with me anymore doesn’t mean he’s not close with the others after all he was jaehyuns bestfriend. They all came and we started hugging eachother, it had been a year since we last saw eachother. Woonhak was still distant with me. Besides a mere exchange of hi we said nothing to eachother, I could tell the others had sensed the awkward tension between us.

After chatting for a bit and catching up with eachother we all decided to call it a day and head back home. Everyone lived near the village, besides me and woonhak cause he lived a little further down the street from me. I was walking behind him. I so badly wanted to go up and talk with him but I didn’t know how. I feared he would just ignore me and not say anything back but I couldn’t stand the silence anymore. So I got a little closer and started walking near him, he didn’t even move a bit to look at me, like I’m not there. “Hi”, I said hoping he would notice me and talk, I was surprised when he said “Hi” back but in a cold tone. “It’s been a while since we have talked” I said nervously looking at him. He just nodded back in silence this time moving his head towards me for a mere second of eye contact before he looked back ahead. I wish it could’ve lasted longer, I haven’t seen him in so long or talked to him. I missed him.

It was starting to really irritate me and making me upset, I hate to admit it but I did have feelings for woonhak and before I could confess them last year he had just stopped talking. Getting annoyed I stood in front of him blocking his way, he looked at me with a confused look. "What are you doing?” He said. “The same thing you’re doing, blocking your way like you blocked me out of your life” I said, I wasn’t gonna hold back now I have had enough of it. "Why have you been ignoring me? Did I do something? If I did, why don’t you just tell me instead of leaving me in the dark, was all those years of friendship worth nothing to you, that you just threw it away like it was trash?" I said to him now a bit more louder and colder. He just looked at me with a blank face, "you did nothing wrong, it was me." He said. “So what? That’s it? You have nothing else to tell me? Seriously woonhak what is wrong with you.” I said while starting to tear up, I was too frustrated I just couldn’t hold back my emotions. As I started to cry, I noticed my face being lifted up, it was him. "Please stop crying, i didnt mean to hurt you." He said now looking worried, this was the first time in a while I had seen any sort of emotion on his face. "I just..had to but I didn’t mean to hurt you” he said. “How could you not hurt me, we were bestfriends woonhak” I said. “Oh. yea best friends..I’m sorry" he said now looking down at his shoes. "It’s getting late you should head back home" he said. "Fine” you said, you were upset and frustrated and continued to walk back home alone.

The rest of the evening I spent unpacking my bags and spending time with my family. I didn’t wanna think about what had happened earlier. Everyone was texting in the groupchat making plans on what to do tomorrow together but thinking about how woonhak would be there was already making me upset. Ever since woonhak and me stopped talking, jaehyun and I had became really close friends. I had asked him many times why woonhak had been acting the way he is, but it was only me who felt that way, jaehyun said he seemed fine and maybe he just didn’t wanna be friends with me anymore, but why?.

Its now 11:40pm and I can’t sleep. I decided to go to the park near me, I remember me and woonhak used to hangout a lot during last fall here together. He liked playing basketball and I would watch him or sometimes play with him. As I got to the park I sat down on the swing, listening to the sound of leaves rusting against the ground as the wind blows them. The quite sound of the night, the water of the lake moving and the crickets sound. I was gently swinging when I heard someone sit on the swing beside me, "Can’t sleep?" He asked. I looked up to see woonhak, "I don’t want to talk to you". For a bit we stayed in silence swinging before either of us said a word. "I’m sorry" he said looking at me. I didn’t feel like talking to him, it’s not going to fix anything since he doesn’t want to. "Why are you sorry, it’s not like you care” I said. "I do care, a lot more then you think” he said. What did he mean by that, "If you cared, you wouldn’t have just cut me off like that, do you know how hurt I was" I replied. "I know and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left everything like that but I didn’t know what to do at the time” he said. “God why are you so stubborn woonhak, can’t you just tell me what’s wrong if you aren’t I’m just gonna go” I said getting frustrated. I was about to get up and walk away but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to hug him. "Can’t we just stay like this for a while, I’ll tell you everything” he said, my heart was beating so fast I hoped he wouldn’t notice it. "I missed you so much, you don’t understand” he said, I missed him a lot too.

We stayed hugging for a few minutes before we both pulled back. We sat down at the bench near us, hopefully he would tell me everything and why he was so distant with me. "So tell me now, don’t leave a detail out okay?” I said, “okay…I didn’t want to distant from you y/n…we were so close….I-I just didn’t know what to do. Jaehyun had liked you since we all had first met and he wanted me to help him pursue you.” I was at lost of words, jaehyun liked me? But he had never told me anything. “I didn’t wanna help him pursue you, but I also didn’t want to tell him that cause he’s been my closest friend since childhood. So the best thing I did was cut you off and tell him we weren’t close anymore and I couldn’t help him. I truly am sorry for hurting you y/n it wasn’t my intention” he said. “Why did you not want jaehyun to pursue me?” I asked, why was he so against it. “It’s cause.. I just you know” he said, “you know what woonhak, say it” I was tired of him going around the bush. “It’s cause I like you, I like you a lot y/n and this wasn’t how I planned on telling you but you keep on insisting. I never knew if you felt the same and after jaehyun liking you I thought you would like him too and I never wanted to ruin our close friendship.” He said dropping the bomb on me, I was silently shocked, I didn’t know what to say to him. He liked me too? Did he not know I liked him too. "Oh” was all I could say. “It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, especially after becoming distant you probably lost any sort of feelings for me anyways” he said looking kinda upset now. “NO no, I’m sorry it’s not that it was alot to take in, but no I do like you woonhak, I always have since I first saw you at the coffee shop. I wanted to tell you last fall but you had already cut me off” I said to him, it felt so good finally telling him the feelings I had bottled inside me for years.

We both stood there looking at each other and smiling, after confessing to each other. I could see a smirk plastered on woonhak as face, “So you liked me for so long and didn’t care to tell me?" He said. "And you liked me and cut me off" I said back. "Heyyy I had my reasons to why” he whined, "okayy finee. oh..yea what do we do about jaehyun now?” I didn’t want him to ruin his friend ship with jaehyun cause of me. "I don’t know I guess I’ll have to talk to him and tell him about us” he replied. “Us?” I said grinning back obviously teasing him, “You know what I mean..like us liking each other” he said shyly, I could see his face becoming red. "It’s getting late, I’ll walk you back home” and I nodded back.

He walked back with me home, on the way we just chatted a bit catching up on old stuff. Here and there our hands would rub against each other and making us both get shy and look away from each other. After a bit we finally reached my house and it was time to say goodbye for the night, but I didn’t want to and I knew he didn’t want to either. "It’s getting late now you should head inside” he finally said. "Yeah you should head home too, goodnight woonhak" I said looking at him, admiring his face glowing under the street light. "Goodnight y/n, sleep well” he said. I wish we could stay like this for longer but it was getting late and he needed to get home. I started heading back inside and I saw he was still standing there smiling and waving at me, waiting for me to get home safely before he left. I waved back at him before I headed inside my house.

The next few days, me and my friends hanged out together and we did our usual activities that we did every fall. Woonhak and me had gotten closer again too. He would always text me in the morning, drop me off home, we always take our night scrolls at the park. As for our relationship, we wanted to take things slow and regain our friendship before anything else. As for jaehyun, him and woonhak had talked and he wasn’t upset, actually he had already known and moved on awhile ago and was now dating nat which definitely surprised us all cause no one knew about their secret relationship. So after all, my autumn break this year wouldn’t be bad as I thought it would be.

#boynextdoor #bnd #woonhak #bnd woonhak #fluff fic #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor fluff #boynextdoor fic #boynextdoor woonhak #boynextdoor x y/n #woonhak x reader #fluff fanfic #woonhak fluff #kim woon hak

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coldshrugs · 11 months ago

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tiebreaker

pairing: io laithe / estinien varlineau setting: modern AU rating: explicit - there are a few mature scenes near the end word count: 6.1k

It's strange to be home.

Stranger still to try to define where exactly home is now that Io has two. Two beds, two sets of friends, two time zones to keep up with… Home is supposed to be a place, or, if she allows the geography to have a softer edge, a series of places and the routines formed around them. The familiar haunts one returns to again and again, seeking the comfort of nostalgia.

Three months didn't feel that long while she lived them; the new place is nice, the people are great, and she loves her work. She calls it home when she is there.

But is it? Home used to hold her mother's voice, her siblings' laughter, her father's snoring. She can't go back to any of those things. 'Home' died six years ago, and Io has been trying to claw back some essence of it ever since.

There was only one thing she was sure she missed from this place, one person. But then she stood in the kitchen with the sunset light painting half the cabinets in late summer's orange, and one thing turned into everything. Puzzle pieces of scent and sight that make her long for more of them tomorrow and every day after—the pack of cigarettes on the already open window to their fire escape; the knowledge that she can hide away in the safety of her room, surrounded by all her favorite things, if the inevitable tide of her anxiety rises high enough to drown her; and especially the smell of Estinien—of both of them—burrowed bone-deep into every room.

But the apartment is not exactly as it was when she left. It's cleaner. The blankets on the couch are neatly folded. There are no dishes in the sink. Not a shred of old mail on the table by the door. The only object even slightly out of place is one of the red plastic chairs at the small table between the kitchen and living room, stolen from their former support group when they aged out.

It's almost uncanny, before she remembers he cleans when he's stressed…

Hm.

They haven't talked about the kiss.

They haven't talked about much of anything so far.

Not when Estinien picked her up from the airport. Not back in their apartment as they readied for Y'shotla’s birthday party. Not even when they stepped out of their rooms, facing each other in the mirrored doorways, and his eyes blew wide at the sight of her dressed in the simple sundress and sneakers.

"You, uh, look really nice," he'd said. Straight forward tone and broad shoulders drawn up to his full height. But he didn't say anything else, so maybe they're leaving it where it lies.

Io has learned to live with this contactless friction. An ever-present static at the boundary of what they mean to each other. Sometimes, the hum is so quiet that she swears she is over him. Then there are times like now, in the back of their Uber, when the unspoken question churns in the space between them, fuzzy and electric, and Io reminds herself that even a hum is noise.

She has to break the ice.

"How's work going? How are the kids this year?"

"It's alright. A ton of rebellious little shits in my classes this semester, especially this set of twins."

"Are you allowed to call them that?"

It takes them a moment to find their footing, but then they can't seem to stop—

"Only when I like them. How's it going with your roommates—what are their names again?"

"Hien and Yugiri. They're sweet. Fun to hang out with. They're tidiness sticklers though, so that's kind of killing me."

"Did you watch that show I said you'd like?"

"Did you remember to water my plants?"

—And on and on until she whispers:

"I miss you. You thought I wouldn't."

Silence again, besides the pop song quietly spilling from the speakers. The driver's eyes flash in the rearview mirror before they turn the volume up, like some sound-based privacy curtain, but that is where it ends. Estinien turns his gaze to the darkening skyline around them, lips drawn up at the corner facing her.

It's hard to be disappointed when simply sitting beside him again is a comfort.

Sure, they text daily, but there is no replacement for his deadpan cadence or playfully disgruntled tone. No emoji could substitute the curves of his smiles, from the small and shy ones he tries to hide (the kind he wears now, squeezing at her heart) to the wide ones that come with an open-mouth laugh—

Her thoughts spin to the kiss. Nervous and unfinished, broken too soon because their drunk friends apparently cannot resist throwing glass bottles at the call of "beer me!" That's why she didn't get to kiss him longer, not that it would matter in the long run.

Estinien doesn't do long distance.

He told Vic as much. He cared about Vic. They dated long enough for it to matter, but in the end, Vic moved hours away, and Estinien decided they should break things off. And despite what anyone says about how he might feel about her, she's stationed on the other side of the country for the next nine months.

But he kissed her back. Oh, the way he kissed her back…

She shoots him the occasional furtive glance while his attention is elsewhere, and god, he looks good. Loose, perfectly messy hair hangs past his shoulders and softens the more severe angles of his face. His t-shirt wrinkles against the line of his well-worn jeans. Hems she has long dreamed of running her hands under…

Io's thick swallow is loud in her ears (she hopes he didn't hear it, too), and her fingers twitch on the leather seat between them. That does make a sound. A little scratch.

Estinien slides his hand across the seat, and—the static sizzles and snaps—his fingers curl into hers. He doesn't look away from the window, but he squeezes.

Her heartbeat almost hurts. She squeezes back.

Another 10 minutes and they pull up to the usual watering hole, one of those extensions of home, Redbills.

He lets go as they climb out of the car on his side, deciding to shove both his hands into his pockets. Cool.

(He's still wearing that little smile as they walk inside.)

Now, this is a place that's frozen in time. Dim light punched through with neon, an out-of-place song being played too loud, ratty stools lining the bar, and well-kept pool tables dotting the back wall. And that's to say nothing of the people.

Her friends (the first set, the ones as close as family) are scattered around the bar. Lucia and Thancred are already locked in a game of pool, and there's real money on the corner of the table. G'raha carries two colorful cocktails to a standing table, where he and Urianger are chatting with Krile, on her tall barstool, of course. Aymeric is at the bar, laughing loudly with Leofard, and Leo's pouring a massive round of shots.

Estinien sways awkwardly on the spot before turning to Io. He jerks his head in Aymeric’s direction, letting her know where he'll be, before walking backward toward him. He's gone for now, then.

Yep, very cool.

Tataru (already flushed a deep shade of pink) gestures chaotically as she rambles to the birthday girl sitting at the end of the bar. Shtola is nodding along without looking, one arm thrown over the back of her metal stool tied with black and purple balloons speckled with glitter. Her other hand holds an e-reader and, holy shit, she is deeply engrossed in a book at her own party.

In fact, she only looks up when her glasses begin to slide down her nose, and that's when her pale eyes fall on Io. She is up in a flash. "You came!"

Shtola isn't one for lengthy displays. The hug is brief, but she wraps her arms tightly around Io and allows her to return it fully before pulling away.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it," Io says. They walk arm in arm towards her decorated seat, where Tataru's tipsy little squeak alerts everyone else to her arrival, and then the party begins.

The night happens in a rush. A round of shots as they sing happy birthday, followed by a round of beers on the house because Io is back in town. She isn't allowed to be a wallflower tonight, tugged from huddle to huddle to share stories of her new orchestra gig or listen to someone else's big news that happened to slip through the cracks of the group chat.

Despite the company and constant meandering around the room, his static prickles on the back of her neck. Estinien hovers in the margins. Much like his blind reach for her hand in the car, she doesn't need to see him to know he's around. It is a phantom sensation, some missing part of her that she swears she can move if only she tries hard enough.

A quick glance to the side and she finds him effortlessly. He leans against the wall, speaking with Ayms in hushed voices. Estinien's eyes cut a sharp path to her, too; Aymeric's gaze follows, and a deviously knowing smile spreads across his face. Io purses her lips politely and smiles back, lifting her hand to wave. Aymeric waves back as he leans to whisper something to Estinien, who shakes his head and takes a long swallow from his beer. His posture tenses.

He pushes off the wall and walks outside, placing his empty bottle on the bar as he goes.

"Hold that thought," Io says as she breaks away from Thancred. "Just grabbing some air."

He's even easier to find on the sidewalk. A lone figure with his shoulder pressed into the brick, head tilted skyward. He's facing the door, as if he's waiting for someone.

"What's wrong?" Io takes a cautious step toward him, fighting the pull to go to him immediately

He shrugs but doesn't look at her. His brows knot, and she can't name the look he wears. It's frustrating not knowing what he's feeling. Disappointment? Defeat? Finally, he asks, "We're just not going to talk about it?"

Oh.

"Estinien, you've been distant most of the day, except for a compliment and holding my hand in the car… I didn't think you wanted to talk about it."

And that makes him look. His head rolls in her direction, hair bunched against the wall and his stare burning through her. "Be serious. Of course I want to. I just… don't know how to start."

"Neither do I." Io inhales and lets the warm night air soothe her nerves. Here she fucking goes. "We kissed. Barely—"

"'Barely.'" The word leaves him in a little huff of incensed laughter. He shakes his head.

"—And it was wrong to leave that up in the air for so long, but I guess it's easier not to know? Maybe it's, I don't know, kinder to slip back into how we were before that. If that's what you want."

"Kinder? Fuck off." Compared to his previous interruption, his tone has cooled, and his expression softened. He's not actually mad. If anything, he seems confused that he's being asked what he wants, as if it's obvious. "Did you mean what you said that night I called you?"

She moves to his side, still careful, still slow. But it's for her own benefit now. What on earth is he talking about?

He asked to call her a couple of weeks ago, the first time that's happened since she's been away. They talked through the night, and there was something close about it, closer than usual. The end of the conversation is fuzzy. She only remembers waking up with her phone pressed to her cheek.

Her shoulder meets the wall, mirroring his lean from a foot away. "...What did I say?"

"You love me." He spits it out quickly and gives no further explanation.

But it doesn't need any, does it? It's a simple yes or no. And it's now that she realizes Alberic—and everyone else—was right: he needs her to go first. He can't move until she does.

"Yeah…" Io shifts her weight against the brick, dragging her gaze from the grime-covered sidewalk to his gray eyes shining softly in the night. He deserves that, because she loves him. "I meant it. But listen, I'm not expecting anything. My job alone makes me a walking deal-breaker so—"

A few people stumble out of the bar, cackling loudly, and they both look to make sure it's no one they know. Just a group of strangers, so their attention refocuses. Io takes another breath, but Estinien speaks first.

"Since you left, I only sit in your chair." The streetlight overhead harshes the shadows falling across his face, but it does not obscure the reddening tips of his ears. "It felt stupid at first. For a while, I pretended it wasn't a conscious thing. Just a convenient one; it's closer to the door or whatever. But it's a choice, I realize that now… I think I've been keeping myself from it since you wrote on them. At some point, I couldn't tell the difference. But that became a choice, too."

It trails off a bit as he loses his own thread, but Io isn't lost. No, it makes perfect sense. This is him explaining every moment passed between them in the half-decade they've shared.

"You're rambling." She tries not to laugh. It's not funny. It's just what he does; he doesn't know what to say, so he says more than he should, and the familiar habit fills her chest with a fluttering warmth. His gaze moves to her smile. "I mean, you don't have to stop. I like when you get going."

She marvels at the way his eyes roll, annoyed and amused all at once. How he tries to be just one plain thing but can't help being more than that.

"The point is, I only sit in your chair."

Estinien's hands leave his pockets. She thinks he might be reaching for his cigarettes. She could use one, too. But they shoot towards her instead, his fingers wrapping into the embroidered edges of her jacket. He holds her like that, thumbs tracing the fabric while his eyes dart across her face, softening by the second. They dilate to a ring of dark silver.

Io reminds herself to breathe.

He pulls her closer.

Closer than that.

"I love you. I don't know how long it's been, just that I do." And he waits, all quickened breath and pleading eyes silently asking her to say it again.

"I love you too."

His hands wind around her, shifting her across the final gap between them, chest to warm chest. When Io lifts her hands to his face, his heartbeat gives him away. Pressed close like this, she feels the echo of every agonizing thump. His darkened eyes flash to her lips.

He moves.

They are careful at first, almost precious about it. But careful gives way to something else, just like it started to three months ago on the fire escape. His softness grows urgent, the kind of thing that begs to become another, deeper kiss. Io waits for the shoe to drop, the glass to shatter, but it doesn't come. Estinien's hands travel to the small of her back, one moves under her jacket, fingers skimming between the straps tying the back of her dress, and there is no interruption this time.

Every thought, every dream she's had about this does not compare to the way his lips seem to drag hers with him as he pulls back. His breathless whisper falls into the space between them.

"Should we get out of here, just go home? I just want to be with you tonight."

Io nods against his forehead, maybe too eagerly, but his smile is worth it. "Yeah, um, just let me say bye to everyone first. I hate to bail, but the party isn't the only reason I'm here."

He releases her as a smug grin pulls new shadows across his face. When they re-enter together, Aymeric approaches from the bar.

"You two were gone for a while." His words are ripe with accusation. Io shifts her weight and pulls her jacket closed, hoping he doesn't notice how rumpled it is.

Estinien leans against the wall by the entrance, looking as casual as ever. "And we're leaving again. Are you meeting everyone for breakfast tomorrow?"

Aymeric balks, "First of all, it's brunch, not breakfast; we're drinking again. Second, yes, I'll be there."

"Then we'll see you there."

"Wait, why are you leaving?"

Io takes the opportunity to slip away and find Y'shtola, who is once again seated at the bar, talking to Leo over the largest fishbowl of sangria she's ever seen. It's half-empty.

She slides into the seat next to her. "Hey… please don't kill me."

Shtola squints in Io's direction with surprisingly clear eyes. There is a silent question in them.

"Can I be here for this?" Leo props an elbow on the bar as if that might bolster his chances.

"No," they say in unison, refusing to glance his way.

"Fine," he says, no worse for wear. "I'm taking five, I need to piss anyway."

Shtola takes a deep sip of her drink until he's in the back. "Let me guess: you've decided to leave your best friend's birthday in the loud, crowded bar when we've been here less than two hours? Io, don't think I didn't expect that."

Io might be offended if there were any malice in the words, but Y'shtola brought her fucking kindle. She's probably planning her own escape soon.

"I'm awful, I'm sorry—" She throws her gaze over her shoulder and Shtola's head turns too. Estinien is still waiting by the door with Aymeric, but he's focused intently on her. "—but there's been a development…"

Bubbles sputter in her drink and she comes away coughing. "Are you serious? Finally? Not the half-assed, 'this is a goodbye forever, I'm giving up on you' kiss?"

"Finally." Her grin is embarrassing, but if anyone knows how long she's held out for this moment, it's Shtola. "Like, no bullshit, for real. Feelings talk and all, so I… really need to go."

Shtola shakes her head, one hand waving Io off the barstool and towards the exit. "No, no, breaking the pattern of platonic codependency and making a new, probably worse pattern is the perfect birthday gift. For the love of god, text me and let me know what happens."

"See you tomorrow." Io squeezes in one more hug and snags a sip of her drink before all but running for the door.

She gives Aymeric a little wave and a smile before passing through the door with Estinien's hand on her back again. A car is already waiting, and after they clamber inside, he doesn't cease his contact. An arm as far around her as he can manage, his fingers grazing her neck, and he can't take his eyes off her.

It doesn't matter that this is all the drive will allow. Desire sparks along her skin, originating from his touch and simmering between them, silent but shameless. The ride feels like an eternity.

When they're finally outside their building, the car is barely out of view before Estinien kisses her again. He walks them backward to the alcove housing the locked glass doors and the keypad. She laughs against his lips as she struggles to reach the buttons. He moves them closer. The first attempt lights the unit in red.

They'll get locked out at this rate.

Io pulls free of his lips with a hummed whine so she can see what she's doing. He moves to her cheek instead, then her jaw… Another red try.

"Estinien," she breathes.

His throaty laugh vibrates against her skin. "You've got it."

Fuck it. If this doesn't work, they can break their necks on the fire escape. 7-9-1-3-5. It blinks green, and the locked doors click open.

They only waste a little time in the stairwell, a quick kiss every other landing or so, when one can't resist grabbing the other, softly passing laughter between mouths before running up the next flight. It doesn't feel real. It lasts all the way to their door.

They go inside, hand in hand, and this is when it sets in.

Sure, it's a bit too clean, but the only new thing here is them. They kick off their shoes and navigate the path to Estinien's room in the dark, carefully dodging jutting furniture corners and stepping over the edges of rugs as their eyes adjust to the lack of light. A strange muscle memory when the context of the journey is so different.

In his room, Io pulls the chain on his bedside lamp, flooding the space with soft, warm light. She knows his room; the scattered sports and music posters, his baseball trophies and metals, and the long unused skateboard. His bed sits in the center of the far wall, flanked by a table on each side; one holds the lamp she just turned on, and the other is where his keys, wallet, and phone usually go. She's had to grab them more than once as they rushed out of this place.

"Is that okay?" she asks.

He nods, pulling her in again, prying her jacket off. It falls to the floor in a crumpled heap as his hands trail back up her arms. One settles lightly against the back of her neck. She runs a shaking hand over his stomach until it rests on his chest.

He inhales, forehead falling to hers for the second time tonight. "I'm kind of nervous."

"Me too." She swallows, trying to keep her voice even. "It feels silly, right?"

"Yeah." Estinien's rumbled laugh sounds in the quiet. "The reason I shouldn't be is the reason I am."

Io pulls her head away, asking why with furrowed brows.

"Because it's you."

What steals her breath seems to give his confidence a second wind. He tugs a strap off her shoulder and presses a kiss to the freckled skin beneath, lips moving slowly, reverently, until her head tips back and her arms snake around his waist. He catches the hem of the dress, looking to Io briefly for approval, lifting it over her head after she nods.

He pauses, drinking in the sight of her standing in his most private space, wearing only her underwear, and for a second Io wonders if his drinks have caught up with him.

He pulls his own shirt off, ruffling his hair in the process. His skin catches the lamplight on one side and moonlight on the other. His beauty is uncomplicated, as direct as he is, but right now it threatens to overwhelm her. Io reaches for him, runs her hands across soft muscle and the small, knotted scar on his left shoulder.

She leans forward, brushing her lips over his, almost content to feel him breathing against them and nothing more. Almost. Estinien's knuckles skim her waist, ghost over the side of her breast, across her back, where his hold solidifies before tipping them onto the bed.

Each touch speaks the assurance they've never needed to voice—I'll take care of you, I'm the one who always takes care of you. This is not so different, not when they get down to it. Estinien drags his lips across her throat and that is just as intimate as his texts reminding her to take her anxiety medication; Io's hands slipping beneath his waistband are the same hands that spread his favorite blanket over him when he falls asleep on their couch. "I made you coffee" shares DNA with "please kiss me again", and both are prerequisites to the soft grip of his hand under her chin, leading her mouth to his.

What's one more way to love each other?

Between needy touches and heated moans, they peel away the last of their layers. There is nothing else they can bare.

Estinien moves down her body, nose trailing against her skin, stopping along the way to place soft, searing kisses to places that certainly never existed before now. The tip of her collarbone, the underside of her breasts, the sensitive skin over her ribs, and she shivers as he brings each one to life in the soft heat of his mouth. His hands follow, creating a pattern of kiss and caress, and Io is never without some part of him in contact with her skin.

He settles between her legs, and she feels the hot rush of his breath, coming just that much faster as he anticipates the next action. Io can hardly bear to look at him—flushed cheek pressed against her thigh and his eyes growing darker when she bites her lip—but she cannot look away.

"You're so fucking beautiful." Estinien kisses her thigh, then whispers low in a voice Io doesn't recognize, "Do you want me to?"

His fingers trace a tantalizing pattern on her leg as he stares up at her, waiting for the answer.

How can she tell him what he's doing to her before he even begins? "Please" is the only word she can articulate as she runs a hand through his hair, gently urging him to go on. "Please."

He dips his head, and words don't matter. She couldn't form them if she tried. Her eyes squeeze shut as she falls against the pillow. There is only shapeless sound, her body tense and twisting, the combination of her slick heat and his mouth,

his mouth,

his mouth.

She's at the edge before she knows it, and the feel of his lips changes, lightens, as he pushes her over. He's smiling—pleased with himself, pleased at her reaction. It remains in place as he lifts himself and kisses his way back to her lips.

Estinien covers her, skin to skin, and Io pulls away from his lips just to look at him for a moment. His silver hair catching bits of the city lights through the window. The shine of her still worn on his lips. Io cups his cheek and sweeps her thumb across them, observing the way they yield for even this touch. His blush spreads to the tips of his ears, down his neck.

"I feel so stupid. You've been looking at me that way for years, and I…" The thought hangs between them: 'What if?' He shakes his head above her, his hair grazing her shoulders.

"Yeah," Io whispers. "But you've been looking at me too. I wasn't in a rush."

She smiles into the next kiss, feels his own spread against her lips. Of all the things they've done tonight, the things they will do, this is the one she wants to keep most. She lets it linger, lets him deepen it when he's ready, asking for more when his tongue slides over hers and he shifts between her thighs.

Io stifles a moan and presses her hands into his back. She needs him closer.

One more shift, and they gasp through a broken kiss. There is only a second of pause, a quick word to check in, then Estinien drives forward again. They find a rhythm. Io moves with him. His breathing grows ragged and shallow, his voice is a tight rasp as he curses or mutters her name into the crook of her neck.

He leans back, resting on his knees, lifting Io with him so she sits on his angled lap. "I wanna see you like this," he says in a shredded whisper. "I keep thinking about it."

It's easy to give him what he wants when he looks at her like this, when he asks for her like he needs her. Io works her hips against him while Estinien does his best to explore, to touch, but his focus shatters in a guttural rumble as he pulls free and guides their fall back to the bed.

There is breath to catch and mess to clean. They alternate trips to the bathroom, then settle into his bed in a yawning heap.

They stay close afterward, liking the way their limbs have tangled and the heaviness of his body relaxing against hers. Io runs her fingers through his hair, unwilling to stop touching him like this now that she has no reason to hold back, and relishes the soft breath washing over her chest. Estinien is still, besides the occasional lazy roll of his head, to kiss her where he can. From the opposite side of the bed, the lamp's glow brightens his edges, the sharp line of his jaw, his nose, and his lips gently pulled into the sweetest smile Io's ever seen him wear.

She could watch him like this forever.

The city doesn't slow around them. Flashes of sound and color leak into the dim room, painting the wall in shifting light that disappears between drowsy blinks. Io wonders how all those passersby in taxis and on the street can go on like before, unaware a faultline has moved under their feet. Don't they know? Didn't they feel it?

The quiet breaks abruptly.

"Io, I'm not,"—his rough voice wavers. He pauses. She can almost see him turning over the words in his mind—"very romantic, if I'm honest, but I could be good to you."

His head on her chest is the only thing keeping her in orbit.

"You've always been good to me. If you're asking me for something…"

"I'm asking."

"You just wanna hear me say it?" And she laughs at his sleepy little nod, heartsick at the way he looks up at her, pupils wide even with their desire temporarily quenched. He wants more than light. She gives it to him. She'd give him anything. "Then yeah, I want to be with you, if you're willing to deal with the distance."

"I don't mind the distance if it's with you." His eyes close, his breathing deepens. She holds him like that until sleep takes her, too.

Io wakes slowly. The room is still gray and dark, with the exception of a single line of early sunlight fighting its way through his blackout curtains. It falls across her side of the bed, a reminder that something exists beyond the bliss of being tucked into this specific set of sheets.

Estinien is already awake. His hand moves down her side, warm and soothing, and then makes the return journey upward, over and over, until she half-rolls to see his face.

"Hey," his voice is even more rough than usual, but it's sweeter, too. He lifts onto his arm, smiling down at her. His messy hair hangs in his eyes. Witnessing this side of him… it always felt so out of reach.

"Hi," she whispers back, adjusting the sheet so there's no barrier between them. "Why are you awake?"

His knuckles roll over her neck, up to her cheek. "Just wanted to look at you. You're all I can think about, and now you're here so… is that weird?"

Io shakes her head against his pillow. "I don't think it's weird. I think I'd do the same."

"Good." He leans in, but pauses before their lips meet. "Wouldn't stop me if it was."

He kisses her slowly, pulls her back flush to his chest so he can touch her. The urgency and nerves of last night are gone. His hands move, unhurried, over the twist of her body, more interested in coaxing little sounds of need from her while her voice still wears shades of sleep. When he fills her this time, his thrusts are soft, almost lazy. And when he's finished, Estinien tells her he loves her again.

She will never tire of hearing it.

They are late to brunch. It's a wonder they show up at all.

No comments when they stroll to the table hand in hand, or when Estinien throws his arm around Io's chair, and not even when she leans into him to rest her head against his cheek after the third mimosa. This is how it should've been all along. They were the only people blocking the way.

The day passes in patches of sunlight and bright laughter, that of their friends and, later on, just theirs. They walk their favorite paths and visit the places Io missed most. The park on the way to her former library job, the library itself, the bakery with specialty cupcakes, and the taco joint she's been craving. But he is a magnet for her hands and, in truth, the place she misses most is their apartment…

They make good use of the short time. No room is too sacred, no surface too precious, until they make it so. By the end of the weekend, they have a pretty good handle on what works. Estinien is a quick study; he remembers what makes her smile, what causes a gasp or a moan.

They learn other things too.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," Io requests on that final evening.

Estinien lies on his back, head angled toward the tv that drones quietly in front of them. He's not watching; his eyes are half closed and his hand tangles in her hair. It's the most focus he can spare right now.

"I thought it was called 'duck tape' for too long. Aymeric pulled me aside in freshman year. Embarrassing as fuck," he says. "Your turn."

Io commits to being a quiet observer, biting back the giggle in the back of her throat.

She lies across his waist with one arm folded under her chin. Her fingers skate over his torso, leaving little trails of puckered skin in their wake. She pockets every tiny reaction (the soft hitch in his breath at a touch near the lower rungs of his ribs, or barely audible sigh when she passes just below his navel), but these are the only interruptions to the otherwise steady rise and fall of his chest.

"I'm allergic to bee stings."

"What?"

"Yeah, I should've mentioned it before," she says. "You're my emergency contact, so you should know what might take me out."

He laughs, a full belly laugh that shakes both of them on the couch. The sound digs into the marrow of her bones. It can't replace the voices she misses, but she can make more space for him in the part of her heart that longs to hear them.

The quiet after his laughter is just as tender, both of them content with this simple closeness.

"I don't want you to go," he says after some time. "One more day."

"Estinien, my flight—"

"Fuck your flight." His drowsy smile is tempting. "Stay with me."

She says no by pressing her lips against the soft, fuzzy patch of skin beneath his navel, and his exhale barely restrains a shudder. Does she truly do this to him so easily?

"Stay," Estinien repeats.

"You know I can't." Io kisses him again, shifting her head, preparing to focus her attention a little lower…

A long exhale stutters out of him. "I know."

She tugs on the hem of his boxers and he lifts his hips to make it easier for her to move them down his thighs. Io bites her lip at the sight of him, his ready willingness to share himself with her, the way he wants her. She brushes her lips against his length.

"I can come back next month." She trades lips for tongue, adores the way his head rolls back against the sofa. "We'll talk every day, like we always do."

"Next month," he whispers as she takes him into her mouth. His voice strains. "Only nine more to go."

It's noon on Monday when they leave for the airport.

Estinien drives them. Io takes in the view from the passenger seat, branding the feel of his hand on her knee into her mind. And then the pressure of his arms around her when he pulls her back for another hug, the nervous blush when he kisses her openly at the gate. His straight-backed reassurance of "I love you. Come home soon."

Home can be a place, as simple as four walls, or the scent of minty body wash, the voices that soothe just by proximity, and it can be a shared bad habit. The picturesque scenes of a small and beautiful life. Home can be the boy you watch grow into a man, the friend you wait for until you don't care about the waiting, and the partner stoking butterflies or comfort with a look. Home isn't home the first time—it demands a return.

"I will. I'll be back before you know it. And I love you too."

Home requires memory.

#azia writes #io laithe #io/estinien #otwr au #my GOD i am so glad this is finished sdlkgjfd #i don't even have commentary i just love them #i love them in this setting. i love how committed they are to each other even when they think it's unrequited #bye

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swissboyhisch · 2 years ago

Text

Last Call

Pairing: Jamie Drysdale x Reader

Summary: Inspired by "Last Call" by Will Linley

Word Count: 2104

Warnings: Uh mentions of making out and grinding. Alcohol.

THE MASTERLIST JOIN THE TAGLIST HOCKEY DISCORD

Late nights I'm not going home Found my friends but I lost my phone In the smoke Living is hard sometimes So I gotta clear my mind That's my favorite kind of night

It was Saturday night, meaning time to party. After a week of work, that was total and utter chaos, you needed the drink. Whether it was a strong drink or not didn’t matter. Your friend invited you along with some of her other friends to a party at a bar for her brithday. Since you finished late after being made to stay past your rostered time, you would be one of the last to arrive at the venue. You quickly swung by your apartment to change before heading there.

The bar was busy when you arrived. People were packed in like sardines in a can. Luckily you were on the list for the party which gave you a quick entry through security. First things first was alcohol. The people surrounding the bar were four people deep while the poor bartenders rushed person to person. You scanned the crowd while waiting your turn. Hoping to spot your friend or even someone you recognised from her Instagram. When you finally reached the bar, you ordered your favourite drink.

“There you are!” A voice shouted over the loud music pumping through the bar. A hand dropped onto your shoulder making you turn. Your friend stood there with a wide grin. “I tried messaging you but you didn’t respond.”

“That’s because I lost my phone after I arrived. I went to message you and it was knocked out of my hands within the crowd.”

She laughed, “Doesn’t help there is a layer of smoke just covering the dance floor from the fog machines.”

“You sure that’s not all the vapes?” You joke.

The pair of you made your way through the crowd and up stairs to where the booths were. In the corner was a large group of people around your age. Majority you didn’t recognise. But there was your friend’s boyfriend who you were yet to meet. Beside him was this cute guy with brown hair tucked under a backwards cap. He was cute.

Now at a bar Met this girl Through a friend of a friend We started dancing to ABBA Now I can't pretend To play it cool Might be a fool But I don't want it to end No, no, I don't want it to end

Jamie was invited out by Trevor and his girlfriend to celebrate her birthday. Since it was the start of Summer vacay, he had nothing else to do. Both boys were due to head home for the summer break next week. Trevor to Michigan to spend time with the Hughes’ brothers and co and Jamie back to Toronto to spend time with his family.

The group was tucked away in the corner, hoping it would hide the two big time hockey hot shots from both fans and prying eyes. It was a decent sized group too. The only person beside Trevor Jamie knew was the birthday girl. Everyone else were her friends he had never met.

Since the boys had finished their season, they were enjoying being able to drink and let loose. Each cradled a beer in their hands. Talking between each other. That was until Jamie got distracted. A pair of girls were nearing the group. One he had seen throughout the prior hours of being at the bar. The other, the one who caught his eye most, he had never seen in his life. And without missing a beat, Trevor noticed his awe-filled look.

“I’ll introduce you,” He laughed, pulling him from the booth over to the two girls.

He tried to pull his hand from his grip, but drunk people are surprisingly strong. Hoping to save himself the embarrassment. When they stood in front of the two girls, Trevor’s girl was quick to latch herself onto him. The kiss between them bordering on making out. Probably for the 5th time tonight that Jamie had witnessed.

“This is Jamie, he’s Trevor’s best friend and roommate.”

You smiled, introducing yourself to him. Your smile was hypnotising. The little group returned to the booth. Jamie was able to sit beside you at the end of the seat.

Everything was peaceful until the familiar notes of one of the best party songs started blasting through the bar. So many people were rushing to the dance floor to enjoy the song. Jamie was a fan of ABBA like Trevor was of Taylor Swift. He was going to go dance to this song. But why not bring the cute girl who was already smiling at him.

“Wanna dance?” You ask him.

When he thought you couldn’t get any better, here you were wanting to dance with him to ABBA. He led you through the crowd to a spot where you could be anonymous amongst the crowd. You settled into a spot just before the chorus kicked in. Both of you were close, dancing on each other. Wandering hands. The alcohol influences much of the moves between the pair of you.

You sing loudly with the rest of the crowd. “Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight!”

At that moment, Jamie was lost. He knew he didn’t want this moment to end. This song. He had to play it cool, not make a fool of himself if he wanted to see you again. But deep down, he also knew tonight wasn’t the only night he’d be seeing you.

Oh, it's last call Baby, I don't wanna go home They turn the lights on You pull in and give me one more I got the feeling of you kissing me Stuck in my head I'd let you break my heart If I can see you Can I see you again?

You and Jamie basically spent the night on the dancefloor. Trevor and your friend had no clue where you two had disappeared to. They just knew you guys were together thanks to a rather misspelt text to Trevor from Jamie’s phone.

Last drinks were called. Something you and Jamie made sure to take advantage of and order one last drink for yourselves while you enjoy the rest of your short lived evening. The crowd was still dancing away. Getting even more hyped when another ABBA song played. This time it was Dancing Queen. One final song to enjoy together. Even better that it was an ABBA song.

Unlike the last ABBA song to play though, where you were singing along to the lyrics. Your lips were on his. It was like life support for yourself. As you pulled away to catch your breath, the only thing on Jamie’s mine was your lips. On his. The feeling. Not breathing. Everything about you stunned him.

To the pair of you, the crowd didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered but each other. The drunken haze was well in effect. Time flew. I mean, they always say time flies when you’re having fun. And dancing with a cute guy (tongues down each others’ throats) would definitely class as fun in your dictionary.

The lights of the bar turned on, blinding many drunk dancers still crowding the dancefloor. No more party lights or strobe lights. Just normal lights bathing you and Jamie in light. You two could now see each other better than before. Though it just added to how you both thought. They’re hot.

Jamie couldn’t help himself. He was desperate. “Can I see you again?”

She looked at me and then she said "I've called a cab, it's on the way Oh, I’m glad we had just one night Wish it would turn into five But I'd die happy tonight"

“I’ve ordered an uber, it’s on the way.”

With no phone, there was no way for you to switch numbers. You’d get a new one or just lose Jamie’s if he wrote it down. You weren’t the most coordinated drunk person. Only seeming fine on the surface.

Jamie wrapped his jacket around your shoulders as the pair of you waited outside for your Uber. Jamie soaked in your presence. If he was honest to himself, if he died tonight, he’d be happy. But he wanted more than just tonight. He wants one more. Two more. Five would be great.

But he’d always be thankful for the one carefree night you shared together at a kinda dingy bar in downtown Anaheim.

You on the other hand fully believed there was more than this night for you and the cute guy. Something in your gut told you you’d be seeing each other more thanks to both of your best friends. The ever crazy masterminds to you two.

The car pulled up in front of the pub and you confirmed it was yours. You turned to Jamie one more time, sharing a hug and a quick kiss. “Oh, I’m glad we had just one night but I wish it would turn into five.”

The boy watched you climb into your taxi and drive off into the midnight traffic of Anaheim. He ordered his own uber to take him back to Trevor and his apartment. Whether or not Trevor was there was a different thing altogether.

When Jamie finally arrived at his apartment, he fumbled with keys for a hot moment. First after he let himself in was to shower. It didn’t matter if Trevor was home. Or even if he brought his girlfriend back here. Hopefully the water would sober him up before going to bed.

He laid in his bed thinking about the night. Thinking about you dancing in front of him. Singing away to ABBA without a care in the world. Jamie swears he could still feel your lips on his. Or your ass against his crotch as you both danced in the crowd. Everything about you lingered in his mind. Touch, smell, taste. Everything.

Give me more. It was the only thing. Jamie wanted more time with you. To get to know you. Your quirks. Your passions. Was ABBA your favourite band? Was the perfume you wore your everyday scent or just for special occasions? Was the outfit tonight your usual outfit or do you like to dress up when going out?.

Jamie then remembered something. It hit him like a freight train. He’d be able to see you again. You still had his jacket.

At a bar Met this girl Through a friend of a friend We started dancing to ABBA Can't play it cool Such a fool But I don't want it to end No, no, I don't want it to end

The ride home was depressing. His touch lingered on your body. His hands ghosting your waist. His jacket that was still wrapped around your shoulders scenting you in his cologne making it the only thing you smelt. It was like his ghost was beside you. WHispering ABBA lyrics in your ear like he had throughout the night.

You couldn’t believe a night out celebrating your friend’s birthday turned out to be the best night of your life. And it wasn’t because of the alcohol this year. It was all thanks to her boyfriend’s best friend. Jamie. Jamie Jamie Jamie. His name was on repeat. The only thing on your mind. On your drunk mind. ABBA was right, Gimme Gimme Gimme!

You went to bed once you got home. A bottle of water on your table with aspirin ready for the morning. Sleep deprived of its peace. Jamie Jamie Jamie. His lips were soft. His hands were rough. Hair soft and fluffy under the ducks’ cap he wore until you put it on your own head.

You hoped you played it cool. Didn’t make a fool of yourself. You wanted to see him again and you hoped he’d want to see you again. Maybe more than a night this time. You’d let him break your heart if you could only see him again.

TAG LIST:

@findapenny @mp0625 @hischierhaze @11zegras @lvrzegras @francesfarhadi @cixrosie @daisysthings

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daddy-dins-girl · 1 year ago

Text

Framed Around My Heart

Masterlist

AO3 link

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO Universe)

Pairing: (platonic) Joel & Ellie

Summary: “We could’ve saved the world!” She shouted at him, her emotions running on overdrive in a way she hadn’t felt since their actual first night in Jackson all those months ago when she’d accused him of not caring about her. “The whole world, Joel!”

He stood in front of her, voice low and steady with his simple yet definite reply, “I did” - a breath. “I saved my whole world”

OR,

The first time Joel tells Ellie he loves her.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: Swearing (it's Ellie y'all). Angst. Hurt & Comfort. PTSD Ellie. Briefly mentioned past violence. Joel and Ellie both being bad at feelings. Soft!Dad Joel (consider your ovaries warned!).

Notes: Takes place right after Season 1 ends. Joel and Ellie are back in Jackson. Idk when Ellie's birthday is, so I made one up...

They had settled in Jackson for a week now. Gotten the lay of the land, chosen their own house just across the street from Maria and Tommy’s, and soon would be assigned their first work details. Ellie was more than disappointed to learn that she was apparently “not old enough” to go on patrol duty and after a huge outburst towards the council that ended with Joel all but dragging her out of the building as she yelled at them that they were “fascist fucks” who could all “go to hell”, she’d eventually managed to calm down, but that didn’t mean she had to agree with them. She’d hated the idea of Joel going out there without her, almost as much as she hated the idea of herself being stuck in here without him; no matter how safe it was behind the walls. They needed each other, she told herself. It’s how they’d survived as long as they had. Unfortunately for her, Joel was assigned exactly that - Patrol Duty. Ellie had been tasked with stable duty. Readying the horses for the riders to take out which meant typically getting up extra early in the mornings, but on the bright side she didn’t have to speak to anyone and she was pretty sure all the horses loved her hilarious jokes she told them, unlike a certain surly old man she cohabited with who clearly was absent the day they were handing out senses of humor.

At least, she thought absently, she didn’t have to go to school. Yet. It was near enough for summer break to start that Maria had felt there wasn’t much point in her enrolling for a couple of weeks just to have three months off immediately. ‘Thank fucking Christ, finally some good news’, Ellie had muttered in response, earning her a disapproving glare from Joel. ‘Right, my fucking manners, Jesus, sorry’, Ellie responded, which just resulted in Joel tossing his hands up in the air, exasperated and Maria folding her arms across her chest. ‘What? I said sorry! That’s like, the definition of manners, how am I the asshole?’

Yep, they were settling in just fine.

…

Ellie hated days Joel would go on patrols. They were too long and the house too quiet with him not in it. Being alone with just her own thoughts as company was never good, she had soon figured out. At first she tried to just sleep the day away when he would be gone but it seemed she wasn’t able to sleep without him anywhere more than a few metres away from her. When they’d first moved in they both tried to be normal fucking human beings and sleep in their own rooms and their own beds but not less than an hour after they’d said their goodnights on their first night in Jackson Ellie had roamed out of her room to seek out Joel ‘just need to make sure the old fucker didn’t croak in his sleep or something’ she had reasoned with herself, only to take one step outside of her room and nearly trip over Joels legs sprawled on the floor as he had apparently set himself up just outside her bedroom door, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against the wall.

“We’re pathetic” Ellie sighed, sliding down the wall to sidle up next to him, head instinctively leaning onto his shoulder.

“Totally” Joel had sighed in agreement.

Shortly afterwards they had fallen asleep just like that, sitting on the floor, limbs spread across the hallway, and Joel’s back cursed him for it the following morning.

The next night, and for nearly two weeks afterwards, they had set up camp in the living room instead; mattresses on the floor just a few feet apart, Joel always closest to the front door, just in case but also out of habit. Finally, and maybe after Tommy had wandered in early one morning and teased them endlessly about having “sleepovers” and whether or not they braided each others hair too, they had agreed to try sleeping in their own rooms and most nights it went off without incident. Other nights however, Ellie would wake up covered in a sheen of sweat and flailing her arms wildly only to open her eyes suddenly and see Joel looming above her, grabbing onto her arms to try and still her and speaking calmly to her, hushing her. Whispered “babygirl’s” and “I got you’s” and “it’s me, it’s ok, you’re ok’s” whispered into the harsh darkness of her bedroom, reminding her of where she was until he’d brought her back down to earth and she’d settle again. She hated those nights. Hated feeling helpless like that, and like she was a little kid that needed coddling after her bad dreams, but dammit all if she didn’t immediately allow Joel to wrap her up in his willing embrace each time, seeking comfort in the warmth he provided. She could feel embarrassed about it in the morning, that could be Tomorrow Ellie’s problem because in the moment, Joel’s comfort was everything she needed and she’d take everything he offered.

The dreams tended to all be more or less the same. Winter. Snow. Fire. Smoke. Blood. David’s face; or what was left of it after she’d bludgeoned it unrecognizable with a very large knife. On nights where the dreams decided to be particularly cruel, she’d lose her battle against David. Those were always the most jarring to wake from and took her an extra long time to be able to fall back asleep afterward, if she could at all. Thankfully her dreams didn’t always cause her to scream or throw a fit in her sleep so she didn’t always wake Joel. Sometimes she seemed to just suffer through them quietly with a few muffled whimpers and tosses and turns in the bedsheets and Joel was none the wiser until she’d come down for breakfast and he’d notice the darkness under her eyes and could tell she had a fitful sleep. Despite not always waking up thrashing from them, she always remembered her dreams the next morning; whether she wanted to or not.

However the dream she had last night was somewhat new territory. She’d had it a few times in the past, but after nearly 2 months in Jackson now it seems to be happening more and more frequently, almost more so than her David nightmares. It differed slightly, night to night, probably because she didn’t have factual evidence to pull from, but it was always the hospital in Salt Lake City. Fireflies, Raiders, Marlene, Joel, and a hell of a lot of bloodshed. Each time she’d wake up from this dream in particular her head felt fuzzy, unsure. She hated not knowing what actually happened that day, maybe she’d be able to process it better if she had (not that she was exactly processing the whole David fiasco, she argued to herself). Joel had left out a lot of details. “Raiders attacked the hospital, I barely got us out of there” and that was it. And any time she’d asked him about it since he’d immediately shot her down and sternly told her not to bring it up again. Did he not realize that only stoked her inquisitiveness further? Has he met her?

She’d had the dream again last night only Joel had been one of the Raiders in her dream this time, slaughtering everyone in his path and she awoke only when he reached her, lying helplessly strapped to a medical bed with Raider Joel holding a gun tight against her temple.

Paging Dr. Freud, anyone?

She didn’t know what the hell any of it meant, she only knew she had to get to the bottom of whatever had happened in that hospital.

And so that was what was currently on Ellie’s mind today as she sat in the small window seat of her bedroom, knees pulled up to her chest as her gaze was locked to the outside, watching the small but bustling community of Jackson on this hot August afternoon. The sun was still high in the sky which meant it would be hours before Joel returned from patrol duty. Which meant hours Ellie would be here alone, with only her own thoughts as company.

Like she said, she hated days Joel was on patrol.

A knock on the front door a few minutes later pulled Ellie from her reverie and she quickly scooted off the window seat and headed down the stairs to answer it.

Swinging the door open, confusion crossed Ellie’s features as her eyes landed on a woman she had scarcely recognized. It was an older woman, Mrs. - something or other, Ellie couldn’t be bothered to remember. Parker? Patterson? Definitely a P name. Ellie recognized her as one of the town council members that she had had that delightful meeting with just shortly after her and Joel’s arrival. Given by the less than impressive look this woman was giving her right now, she remembered it as well and must’ve drawn the short straw today to come here to… well, what exactly was she her for?

“Is it Joel?” Ellie blurt out suddenly, panic evident in her tone. “Did something happen, is he OK?”

The woman looked confused for a second and then suddenly let out a small laugh and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh heavens no, nothing like that Dear, I’m sure everything’s fine. I’m here on official town business. For you, actually, Miss Ellie”

“Oh…” Ellie’s face scrunched up at that. Ellie didn’t have any official fucking business with anyone. Other than being an official pain in Joel’s ass.

“I understand you will be enrolling in school this Fall” the woman began in way of explanation and Ellie nodded slightly. Don’t fucking remind her.

“Well I have here your registration form you’ll need to fill out and have your…” she paused, looking a little helpless, as most adults did when they tried to discern just who exactly Ellie and Joel were to each other.

“Have Mr. Miller,” she settled on instead, “sign it and then you bring it along with you on your first day so we can file it away in your record. I know we are a few weeks away yet but I like to get these out early”

“Oh, um, ok I guess…” Ellie shrugged, reaching out and grabbing the single piece of paper.

“Just a little formality” the woman waved her hand again. “You know, we need your basic information and things like that, just so we have it on hand, should anything come up and we need it”

Ellie wondered briefly then why Maria hadn’t dropped it off, or even had Tommy do it if she was too chicken shit.

“Just making my rounds to all the new students today” the woman explained, as if she’d been reading Ellie’s mind.

“Right” Ellie nodded. “Well uh… thanks, for the homework before school even fucking starts” she mumbled the last part under her breath but given by the tiny gasp and look of horror that flashed across the woman in front of her, Ellie’s certain she heard her.

“Alllllllrighty then. Take care then, bye bye now” Ellie quipped, slamming the door in the woman’s face. Something she’d seen recently in a movie that Joel had shown her that had her in a total fit of giggles for the entire night.

Ellie wandered back into the house and dropped the piece of paper to the coffee table before flopping herself down onto the sofa. She bent over the table to have a look at what information she’d need to be giving out before she decided whether she’d bother trying to find a pen to fill it out now or if she’d push it off to later.

Name. Ok, easy. Date of Birth. Well, she’d had a general idea. Would writing just the month and year suffice, she wondered absently. Known Allergies. The thought of writing “learning, via fascist institutions” crossed her mind and she laughed a little to herself but then remembered Joel had to sign off on it so she better not. Dude could be such a killjoy. Next? Parent(s) and/or Guardian. Pass? Joel, she’d guess was technically her Guardian? Whatever that meant. Why wasn’t there just a spot for “other human being reluctantly tasked, due to unfortunate fucking happenstance, with keeping you alive” Emergency Contact (other than above) + Relationship. Also pass. The only other person in this godforsaken town she even liked speaking to besides Joel was in fact not a person, but a horse named Shimmer. And she didn’t think quadrupeds counted for emergency contacts.The whole notion of Ellie being in an actual emergency and some townsperson running to the stables to tell Shimmer all about did give her a bit of a chuckle though. She made a mental note to jot that down in her notebook, maybe make it into her own little comic series.

Finally at the bottom, a signature line for “Parent and/or Guardian”. There it was again, taunting her, laughing at her.

In the end Ellie decided that no, today was not the day she would fill any of this out. She couldn’t answer half of it anyway, so what was the point. Stupid school. Even shitty FEDRA school knew not to ask orphans stupid fucking questions like this. Ellie folded up the paper into a small square and shoved it into the front zipper pocket of her backpack that was leaning next to the couch. Another problem for another day. Or hell she’d probably just throw it at Joel and tell him that the annoying old lady (who is somehow even more of a dinosaur than Joel and still alive) said it was his job to do it. Yeah, that might work.

With a heavy sigh Ellie laid back onto the couch cushions, arm coming to rest over her face as she tried to shut out the sunlight pouring in through the open windows. Maybe if she was bored enough she’d fall asleep and then Joel would be home.

…

Another two weeks had come and gone and Ellie’s Salt Lake City dream variation had now been haunting her almost nightly, completely replacing her usual David nightmares. Just two nights ago it had been traumatizing enough to rouse Joel from his sleep and he had come into her room as he always had when her screams woke him only this time, when she had become alert enough to notice his presence, she had shoved him off her damn near hard enough he almost fell off the bed.

“Ellie!” He had gasped at the surprise. “It’s me, it’s-”

“I know!” she scowled in response, shoving at his shoulder when he tried once again to reach out to comfort her.

“Ellie” he sighed, keeping his distance this time, but holding his hands out in front of him as if he was approaching some scared wild animal he was trying to coax into calmness.

“I’m not,” Ellie began and huffed, unsure what she wanted to say, she just knew she didn’t want his comfort. Not this time.

“I’m not a baby Joel! I don’t need you to come running in here every time I have a stupid bad dream. I’m 15 years old, not 6!”

Joel flinched, as if her words physically harmed him. She saw the look of hurt flash across his face before he swallowed hard, dropped his arms and gave her a short nod before pushing himself up from her bed and seeing himself out of her bedroom. Part of her wanted to chase him out of her room, tell him how sorry she was and fall into his arms and forget the exchange ever happened, but a larger part of her knew she couldn’t do that. Joel’s been lying to her. She isn’t stupid. She knows he isn’t telling her the whole truth (if he’s even telling her any truth at all) and it’s because of him that she’s having these nightmares in the first place. So no, he didn’t get to cause the nightmares and then run in and play hero for it. Not if she ever wanted to get to the bottom of what really happened.

Luckily the two days following that incident Joel had been on patrol so she hadn’t seen much of him. They’d have dinner together but it was mostly in silence. Joel would ask about her day and she would mumble a “fine” as she pushed her food around her plate and then she’d fake being tired and go to bed shortly afterwards, foregoing their usual movie or board games they’d do after dinner.

~~~

Joel remained seated at the dining room table long after Ellie had pretended to be tired and gone off to bed. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew her well enough to know when she was tired or when she was flat out avoiding him on purpose and this was certainly the latter. She’d been like this for days now and it was really starting to get to him. He didn’t know what had happened to cause it either. Sure she got moody with him sometimes, as all teenagers did around their parents or even authority figures, but she’d never been like this or for this long without at least a hint of what troubled her.

He thought back to just two nights ago when he’d woken up to her screaming and thrashing in her bed. That in and of itself was not unusual for her, but the way she reacted towards him was completely out of left field. She had shoved him off of her as if he were the bad guy, the one haunting her dreams, when all he wanted to do was hold her until her trembling subsided, the way he always had.

“I’m 15 years old, not 6!” The words she spat at him still plagued his mind. His heart nearly broke at that. Not at the fact that she didn’t always need him coddling her, he knew the day would come where she didn’t and he would be so glad for her (even if it did hurt his heart just a little to not be needed like that anymore as she got older) but the part that killed him is when she told him she was 15. 15! When had he missed that? When they’d met she had been 14, and if he wasn’t such an idiot he would’ve done the math and figured logically that hey, nearly a year has past since we met, shouldn’t you have had a birthday by now? But it didn’t cross his mind all the time they’d been together so he never thought to ask. But to hear her just gloss over the fact that she was an entire year older and he’d never acknowledged it or even knew about it, damn near broke him. Sure, FEDRA probably didn’t exactly throw you a party and invite all your classmates and bake you a damn cake but surely her birthday must have meant something to her, hadnt it? Enough that she would at least want Joel to acknowledge it. “Hey asshole it’s my birthday so you have to laugh at all my jokes today” or something similar at least.

One thing for sure, no matter what the hell was going on with Ellie right now, was that he owed her a damn birthday present.

...

The next day Joel had the day off from patrol, but Joel being Joel couldn’t just sit around his comfortable house all day and do next to nothing so he decided he’d be productive. Ellie had gone off to her morning shift at the stables anyway (and even if she hadn’t he had a good feeling she wouldn’t want to hang out with him regardless, if the last couple of days had been any indication) so he figured today was as good a time as any to get started on a project he’d been meaning to for the past month. So that’s how he found himself standing in the middle of his garage on this hot August morning.

He stood in the middle of the concrete floor scratching the back of his head, not entirely sure where to begin… The place had apparently, before he and Ellie moved into the main house, been a dumping ground for anything and everything that the residents of Jackson no longer had space for. There were broken appliances, boxes piled to the ceiling in some places, furniture, some lumber, and probably a hell of a lot more that Joel had yet to uncover. His first order of business had to be sorting through everything to see what would be kept and what could be tossed. See if he could make heads or tails of what was wrong with anything broken and if he could fix it, and for anything else it was a matter of whether anybody could make any use of it and if not, he’d get rid of it.

A while back he'd had the idea that maybe he could turn it into a decent hangout spot for Ellie, somewhere she could have her own space, have her friends over, that kind of thing. He remembered himself as a teenager taking over the family garage to practice with his band and he and his friends had spent every damn day for the better part of 3 summers in it, creating some of the best memories of his life. He wanted Ellie to have that too. Maybe, he thought inwardly, he could fix it up and surprise her with it. Try and have it ready to give her for her 16th birthday, whenever the hell that was.

He still had to get to the bottom of that, but first he had to get Ellie to even speak more than three words at a time to him; something which she hadn’t seemed to be able to do as of late. He had no idea what was going on in that girl's head these days, but he needed to figure it out. He would talk to her. Today, he told himself.

Joel kept busy for the next couple of hours. He’d started with sorting through the dozens of boxes, finding much more trash than treasure, just as he had figured he would. It was scorching outside and he was hot and covered in sweat but told himself he’d at least finish sorting through the boxes before he took a break so when he looked down to see the last box that required sorting he murmured a quiet ‘thank god’ as he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm and then bent down to pick up the final box. Pulling the box out of the corner Joel noticed a small dark blue duffle bag that looked out of place shoved in behind where he pulled the box from. It wasn’t covered in a thick layer of dust like everything else in the room had been, and moreover, he’d noticed it because it was a bag he had brought home from a patrol a month or so ago. Back then it was full of movies, art supplies and a few other things he had found out on the road that he thought Ellie might like so he’d brought it home for her and given it to her that night.

“What the hell?” Joel wondered aloud, placing the box back on the ground and reaching instead for the duffle. He had seen her using the things he had brought home in the bag before so he was certain she hadn’t just taken the bag from him and tossed it in the back of the garage. Whatever was in the bag it seemed like she had been hiding it, and he’d silently hoped that whatever he found inside might give him some insight into just what the hell was going on with her these days.

~~~

It was late afternoon when Ellie finally decided to call it a day. Her shift at the stable was normally only 3 hours but today she knew Joel was at home and she was nothing if not a professional avoider these days so she decided to stay late and do an extra thorough cleaning of the stables and the horses. She stayed out there until the sun, high in the sky, became too sweltering for her to stand. Her clothes clung to her body from all the sweat and she was in desperate need of a shower. If she could draw that out long enough when she got home it wouldn’t be much longer until dinner and maybe she’d convince Joel to go to the mess hall tonight rather than dinner at home so they could at least have other people to look at while they both pretended she wasn’t completely ignoring him.

Yes, a perfect plan.

Her perfect plan however fizzled abruptly when she walked into their home only to find Joel standing in the middle of the kitchen, arms folded across his chest with an empty blue duffel bag hanging over a dining chair; its contents spilled all over their eating table.

Shit.

“I need to shower” Ellie said, hoping to ignore him and turning towards the stairs.

“Ellie Williams you get back here this instant” Joel demanded, his tone leaving zero room for argument and Ellie groaned, turning back towards the kitchen. She stopped a few feet in front of him, let out a heavy sigh and let her arms drop to her sides.

“What?” she huffed in annoyance.

“You know damn well what. Sit your ass down, we’re having a conversation” Joel snapped, pointing towards one of the dining room chairs and Ellie rolled her eyes but obeyed him, shuffling past to plop down on the furthest chair and folding her arms defensively.

“Now you wanna explain to me just what in the hell all this is?” Joel asked, arm sweeping above the table top that was littered with canned foods, her knife that Maria had confiscated months ago (“not until you’re 16 Ellie” - bullshit), a handgun (this one she had managed to steal from Tommy, she was actually quite proud of when she pulled that one off), a box of ammo (Joel’s) and a road atlas of the United States.

“Well if I gotta explain fucking canned beans to you maybe you should be starting school next week instead of me” she huffed.

Judging by the vein in Joel’s neck that looked like it was about to explode through his skin, maybe not her wisest move.

“Don’t get smart with me Ellie” Joel threatened, pointing a finger at her. “Just what in the hell you were doing with a damn ‘go bag’, huh? You plan on runnin’ away or somthin’?”

“No” she offered weakly, looking away, anywhere but at Joel. She knew he’d never physically harm her, but he had never been this pissed with her before either and she did not like it.

Joel heaved a heavy sigh. He knew he had to reign in his anger but damnit if she didn’t make it difficult on him.

“Well then what the hell were you doing kiddo” Joel said softly, a sigh escaping his lips as his hands fell to his sides. Yes he was angry but he wanted a real conversation. He squatted down next to her so they were at eye level.

“I need to know what’s going on up here” he said, lightly tapping his index finger against her head before she batted it away.

“Will you talk to me please?” he asked gently. He wasn’t above begging at this point.

“You promised” she mumbled under her breath, head still facing away from him and staring at the blank wall instead.

“What?”

She turned towards him then, rolling her eyes. “You promised. I asked you if everything you said about the Fireflies was true and you promised it was. Tell me you didn’t fucking lie to me Joel” she seethed through gritted teeth and Joel closed his eyes for a brief moment, taking a breath.

“This again, with the Fireflies? Ellie I -” he began but she was quick to cut him off.

“Last chance Joel. Last chance to tell me the fucking truth because if you lie to me again, I’m done. We’re done” Her words came out sharply and she saw Joel’s face flinch at her threat. She meant it too, she couldn’t live with someone who was lying to her about the single most important thing in her life. She wouldn’t live like that.

“I’ll fucking leave Joel, I will. I’ll do it when you’re out on patrol or fucking sleeping and you won’t be able to stop me. I’ll go to Salt Lake City myself and I will find out what happened, one way or another. And if I find out on my own that you lied to me, you’ll never see me again”

“Is that what the bag is for? Fucking road trip to Salt Lake City by yourself? Tryna' get yourself killed? Jesus, Ellie” Joel hung his head. He knew she’d do it too, and that thought absolutely terrified him. It scared him far more than whatever her reaction may be if he were to tell her the truth right now. Her running off like that, alone, and never seeing her again? Nope, no way. She could hate him for the rest of her life before he’d ever let that happen.

“Okay” he sighed with defeat, putting his hands up in surrender. Time to bite the bullet.

Joel stood up from his crouched position, his joints protesting when he did, and took a seat in the chair next to hers, folding his arms on the table.

“From the beginning” Ellie demanded.

“When I… came to, you know, in the hospital, Marlene was there” he began into the story he’d been dreading to tell her for months, unable to look her in the eyes, though he could feel her gaze boring into him from across the table. He wasn't sure how exactly he was supposed to tell her this. It would crush her, he knows. And how could he possibly make her understand? How does he tell her he'd burn the entire world down for her if it meant keeping her safe and have her not hate him for it? He'd failed Sarah. He'd failed Tess. He couldn't fail her, too. He wouldn't survive it, not again. Could she even grasp how he felt about her? Sure he wasn't exactly Mr. 'lets talk about our feelings' and neither was she, but he needed her to understand the simple fact that well, she was everything to him.

“God Damnit Ellie they were going to kill you!” he shouted, finally turning his head to look at her. “That’s the bottom line of it all, ok? They were gonna poke around in your fucking brain like a god damn game of Operation so they could remove the cordyceps and you’d be fucking dead”

Ok, maybe not exactly giving her the warm and fuzzies right now. He'd never been great with his words.

“No,” Ellie shook her head as tears began to well in her eyes. “That’s - that’s not true, you’re - you’re fucking lying!” she shoved hard at his shoulder but he barely moved.

“Ellie” he said her name softly now and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry baby, but it’s the truth. Marlene told me everything. She said that -” he sniffled quietly and wiped at his own wet eyes quickly with the back of his hand. “She said that they didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t be scared that you wouldn’t feel any pain and… they wouldn’t take me to you. Wouldn’t let me see you”. Fresh tears were streaming down Ellie’s face now that she frantically tried to wipe away with her shirt sleeve as she listened to Joel tell his side of the story.

He told her everything, even told her about his standoff with Marlene in the underground parking lot and how that ended and Ellie just listened silently, taking it all in.

“So you just... Killed everyone” Ellie summarized for him and Joel hung his head.

“Ellie” another sigh. “They had no evidence that their hare-brained scheme was going to work. They had no conclusive tests done and they wanted to murder their only test subject! Now I thought I was bringing you there to draw some blood or something, not cut your goddamn brain out of your head. Who knows if this hack Doctor even knew what he was doing!” Joel was getting revved up again but he couldn’t help himself, the anger he’d felt that day still bubbling at the surface all these months later.

“Could’ve been a goddamn Chiropractor for all we know, out there tryna play brain surgeon with my kids fucking head? Mnmm mmm” he shook his head and Ellie tried to ignore the fact that he’d just referred to her as his kid. “Not on my broken fucking watch, kiddo” he tapped his watch for emphasis as he stared directly into her eyes.

Her heart didn't allow her to ignore a comment like that and she'd felt it tighten in her chest, like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room and she could barely breathe. Ellie wasn’t sure if she wanted to crumble to the floor in tears or hit him as hard as she could.

She opted for neither and pushed herself back abruptly from the table and stood up and Joel followed suit, ready to grab for her if she had chosen this moment to make a run for it. They both stood still in a standoff, Joel could tell by the way her shoulders trembled that she was upset. He’d let her say what she had to say.

“We could’ve saved the world!” She shouted at him, her emotions running on overdrive in a way she hadn’t felt since their actual first night in Jackson all those months ago when she’d accused him of not caring about her. “The whole world, Joel!”

He stood in front of her, voice low and steady with his simple yet definite reply, “I did” - a breath. “I saved my whole world”

The words hung in the air between them, the silence growing heavily around them until finally Joel spoke again.

“I love you, Ellie” he admitted softly, looking straight at her as she lowered her head and twiddled her fingers nervously. He wondered absently if that was the first time she’d ever heard those words and his heart felt heavy in his chest at the thought.

“And truth be told, I don't care if that Doctor was the best brain surgeon on the damn planet and a cure was all but guaranteed, it wouldn't have changed my mind because I didn't have a choice. And I know you don't understand that right now and I don't expect you to. But I am sorry that I lied to you, ok? I am not, however, sorry for what I did and I will never be sorry for that.” he explained and she stayed still and silent in front of him so he continued. “Even if it means you hate me for the rest of my life, well… at least it means you’ll live to see it and I can never be sorry about that, not ever”

“I know you think this cure was your purpose Ellie but what if…” He stopped to shake his head before placing his hands on his hips and taking a breath. “What if you were my purpose?” He asked, unshed tears in his eyes as Ellie finally lifted her head to meet his gaze.

She let out a breath, trying to collect her thoughts before she responded but didn’t get a chance before the distinct crackling static of a walkie talkie coming to life grabbed both their attention.

“Joel, Ellie!” It was Tommy’s voice on the other end and he sounded frantic. Both Joel and Ellie were staring at the small black 2-way radio that was sitting on the kitchen counter. Joel made a move to grab for it before Tommy’s voice filled their small space again. “It’s Maria she -” his voice cut out as they heard Maria scream Tommy’s name from a distance away. “Oh shoot, I gotta go, we’re at the clinic!”

“Tommy!” Joel was yelling for his brother into the radio but getting no response. “Tommy! Tom- Damnit!” Joel huffed, slamming the radio back down on the counter. Leave it to his brother to call him with an apparent emergency, not tell him what the emergency was, and then go literal radio-silence on him.

“Let’s go” was all Joel said to Ellie and they were both running for the door.

The pair headed out into the street and made the short jog across town to where the clinic was housed. It was a two-storied brick building, one of the larger ones in town and one that thankfully by some miracle, Joel or Ellie had never had to visit before.

“Tommy?” Joel called out the moment they crossed the threshold inside, looking around but not seeing his brother - or anyone for that matter - in sight.

Suddenly they heard a bloodcurdling scream from Maria and both Ellie and Joel shared a quick glance before they both took off running up the stairs where the noise had come from.

They’d made it nearly all the way up the staircase when a second noise rang out through the house and this one stopped Joel dead in his tracks. He gripped the railing so he didn’t fall down the damn stairs as the distinct and familiar first cries of a newborn infant flooded the space.

“Holy shit!” Ellie whispered excitedly, also having come to a dead halt on the stairs when she’d heard the cry.

Joel took a minute to collect himself, holding the staircase railing in a death grip as he tried to get his breathing under control. That sound took him right back to the best day of his life, nearly 35 years ago when his little Sarah had taken her first breaths in this world and had changed his entire life in an instant. Hearing Tommy’s little one’s lungs working at full capacity would likely be the second best sound he’s ever heard in his life, Joel thinks.

“C’mon, lets go see!” Ellie said to him as she practically bounced up the rest of the stairs, eager to meet the latest Miller clan member.

“Ellie” Joel snapped out of his momentary daze to call out to her and she stopped just outside the closed door at the top of the stairs.

“Just, wait now” he told her as he climbed the rest of the stairs. Ellie obeyed, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation. He didn’t want to barge in on whatever state Maria might be in right now; childbirth wasn’t exactly something you wanted a big audience for, so they waited outside the door for a couple minutes until everything started to quiet and finally the door opened as a woman that Joel recognized as the town doctor came out.

“Oh, looks like we have visitors!” The doctor said to Joel and Ellie but loud enough that Tommy and Maria could hear her. She pushed the door open wider so that Tommy and Maria could see who it was and Tommy waved them inside.

“S’ok Doc, they're family” Tommy smiled widely.

Ellie froze for a quick moment, glancing between Maria and Tommy and back to Joel but Joel just put a hand on her back and led her inside, apparently she was the only one overthinking the whole “family” comment. She stared at the scene before her, Maria lying in a bed under some blankets with a small bundle in her arms wrapped in a crisp white towel and Tommy hovering over her with possibly the biggest smile Ellie’s ever seen from anyone before, one hand brushing the top of Maria’s hair while the other laid protectively against one of her arms that held the baby.

“It’s a girl” Tommy announced to no one in particular, not able to tear his gaze away from his newborn daughter. “Name’s Rose,” he continued. “Rose Sarah Miller”

Ellie chanced a quick glance at Joel for that. Tommy seemed up in the clouds somewhere and just tossed Sarah’s name out there as if it might not swallow Joel up whole but Ellie, with two feet firmly on the floor and not in the sky, needed to make sure he was ok. To her surprise, a smile that nearly matched Tommy’s crossed Joel’s features and fresh tears came to his eyes.

Ellie let out a breath of relief.

“She’s beautiful, Tommy” Joel said sincerely and Ellie had never seen him look so happy before. It made her feel warm.

“Congratulations to you both” Joel said and both parents finally tore their gaze away from Rose long enough to acknowledge them.

“Ellie,” Maria piped up a moment later. “Would you like to hold her?”

Ellie stared wide-eyed for a few long seconds before she finally looked over to Joel, silently asking for permission.

“Well, go on” Joel nodded towards the bed and nudged her shoulder with his.

Ellie smiled brightly and quickly crossed the room to where a large armchair sat next to Maria, the opposite side that Tommy was occupying.

“Do I just sit?” Ellie asked, she wasn’t sure what the protocol was, literally never having held a newborn before.

“Yeah, sit there, hold your arms out and I’ll pass her to you. Just always one hand under her head ok?” She instructed and Ellie nodded her head before sliding her backpack off her shoulders and dropping it to the ground.

“Rose, this is your cousin, Ellie” Maria spoke softly as she passed the small warm bundle of life over. Ellie quickly glanced up to Joel, eyes widened with pure joy at Maria’s words. She’d never been a cousin to anyone before. Hell, she’d never been anything to anyone before. Not really. And suddenly here she was, apparently now part of a family of 5.

Ellie was sure to have one hand under Rose’s head and the other arm cradled her against her chest as she held the tiny gurgling baby in her arms, mesmerized by her instantly. She now understood how Tommy couldn't’ tear his gaze away from her either.

“So fucking cool” Ellie whispered, playing with the tiny pink fingers that were reaching for her hand.

“Sorry” Ellie immediately admitted sheepishly. Maria didn’t like her cursing under normal circumstances, let alone when a newborn baby was in her arms.

Maria shot her a look but her mouth curled up into a small smile. “I’ll let it slide since you’re excited, but let me tell you if my baby’s first word is a curse, you are losing your babysitting privileges Missy”

“I’ll watch my mouth around her, I swear” Ellie assured her frantically before focusing back on Rose.

“Hard to believe you were ever once that small huh Ellie?” Tommy said with a laugh as Ellie stared down at baby Rose in complete wonder.

“Or that quiet” Joel added without missing a beat and Ellie rolled her eyes at him playfully.

“Don’t listen to him little Rose” Ellie cooed to the infant. “You and me are gonna be best buddies and we’ll gang up on your mean old Uncle Joel”

“Oh great so there’ll be two pains in my butt, can’t wait for that” Joel deadpanned before he crossed the room over to Ellie and held his hands out.

“Let me see that niece of mine anyway, you’re hoggin’ all the new baby smell”

Ellie grinned widely at how playful Joel was being and decided it looked really good on him. It reminded her of the first time she made him laugh, like really made him laugh. The night right before they met Henry and Sam when she had told him a stupid joke that left them both in tears from laughing so hard.

Joel completely relaxed when Rose got into his arms and he rocked and bounced her gently in his embrace. He looked completely in his element even though Ellie figured it has probably been decades since he last held a baby. He was smiling down at her and letting her small chubby hands grasp his finger and Ellie just watched in amazement. Babies had some sort of magical power or spell it seemed, she thought absently. These hardened fighters, killers, even, now all sat in this room as four big piles of melted goo for this tiny little human wrapped up in a bath towel.

They stayed for another hour or so, Ellie manipulating Joel into letting her have Rose again until the Doctor came back into the room, gently reminding Joel and Ellie that Maria needed her rest. Ellie groaned in disappointment but understood and passed the baby to Tommy after planting the gentlest kiss to the tip of her tiny nose.

“Now you let us know if you need anything” Joel said, his hands landing on Maria’s shoulders and she smiled up at him.

“We will, don’t worry”

“Come on kiddo, we better get home” Joel sighed, placing a hand to the back of Ellie’s neck and steering her towards the door. “These two are gonna need their rest, trust me”

They all said their goodnights and Joel and Ellie headed back down the stairs and out the front door.

“How fucking cool was that!” Ellie yelled up to the now darkened sky the moment they were outside. “A fucking baby?!”

“Hey what happened to watching your mouth?” Joel asked, but his tone was playful.

“I said around the baby, she can’t hear me now” Ellie said with a flippant wave of her hand towards the clinic.

Joel just hummed in agreement. He should’ve known better anyway.

They were nearly all the way home when Ellie stopped and slapped a hand to her forehead.

“Oh shit”

“What?” Joel asked, turning towards her.

“I forgot my backpack, I put it down when I was holding Rose”

Joel looked between Ellie and the clinic. They were more than halfway home already, not that it was very far, but it was late and Maria was supposed to be getting some rest.

“I’ll be quick, and quiet, I swear, in and out!” Ellie said briskly, likely already knowing what he was going to say and Joel sighed but nodded his head.

“Hurry up then” he gestured toward the clinic. “I’ll meet you at home”

Ellie ran off towards the clinic, not waiting for Joel to change his mind. When she got inside she slowly walked up the stairs, not wanting to make too much noise in case anyone was actually asleep. When she reached the top of the stairs and the door to Maria’s room it was partially open, she poked her head inside first to look.

Maria looked fast asleep but Tommy was slowly pacing the room with a slightly fussing baby Rose held in his arms as he looked down at her and talked softly, rocking her gently as he spoke.

“It’s okay babygirl, Daddy’s got you” he whispered into the stillness of the room. “I got you and I ain’t gonna let anybody ever hurt you, you hear me babygirl? I’ll keep you safe, always, I promise”

Tears welled up in Ellie’s eyes as she watched the two of them. She thought about Joel and Sarah. She had thought about them a lot tonight, and she wondered if Joel did too. Then she thought about how Joel had wrapped her in his arms after David and had all but said the same things that Tommy was telling his daughter now. She could hear the love in the way Tommy spoke to Rose and it hit her like a ton of bricks that it was no different than how Joel had spoken to her too.

Not wanting to dwell on that too much longer; or stand in the doorway prying on a private moment between father and daughter either, Ellie quickly swept away the tears at her eyes and gently rapped her knuckle against the wood door and peeked her head all the way inside once she had Tommy’s attention.

“Sorry I um, forgot my bag” she said sheepishly, nodding her head towards her backpack that lay on the ground resting up against the armchair.

“Oh, go ahead” Tommy whispered so as to not wake Maria. Ellie quickly crossed the room and grabbed her bag before quickly making her exit. Offering a quick wave over her shoulder as she left the room. She probably could’ve left it for tomorrow, but there was something important inside of it she decided she needed tonight.

Closing the door quietly behind her when she entered her home she was unsurprised to find Joel still awake and waiting for her. He was in the kitchen, gathering up all the items from the table and stuffing them back into the duffel bag. Ellie watched from the threshold, fidgeting with her fingers.

“We still needin’ this?” Joel asked directly, looking right at Ellie. The magical baby spell apparently over and reality settling back in around them.

“No” Ellie answered quietly, just looking at the floor.

“Good, put it away then” Joel replied, holding the bag out towards her. She nodded once and took the bag, grabbing the cans out one by one and putting them away in the cupboard. Her knife she’d slid into the side pocket of her backpack and she saw Joel’s eyes follow it but he said nothing; she figured he probably actually preferred her being armed anyway, for her own safety. She handed Joel the box of ammunition and left the gun in the bag, placing it down on the kitchen chair and shrugging at Joel.

“Tommy’s. I’ll… give it back to him tomorrow”

“Ok” was all Joel responded with and a silence fell over the room for several minutes.

“Look, Ellie” Joel began eventually, leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen. He looked tired. “I think I… Well, I said pretty much everything I needed to say, you know, earlier”

“I know” Ellie nodded, her voice quiet. She had a lot to digest, emotionally, after everything tonight.

“Are you… ok?” are we ok, she knows is what he means but doesn’t ask.

“Yeah” she says, and it’s the truth. She still hates that Joel lied to her, repeatedly, but after tonight, well, she can admit she understands why he did what he did.

“You keep going for family” Joel’s words from nearly a year ago ring in her head. She didn’t get it then, but she does now. She just met Rose an hour ago and she knows already she’d take a bullet for her if it came to it. Do anything to keep her safe, her little baby cousin, her family. Seeing Tommy with Rose made her think of how gutted Joel must have been when he’d lost Sarah and how of course he would do anything to prevent ever having to live through that again.

“My whole world.” She closes her eyes, remembering the pain on his face at the confession.

“Well, it’s late” Joel says matter of factly and it snaps her out of her reverie.

“Yeah, right” Ellie nods, hands still clasped in front of her and gaze still permanently fixed to the floor. She turns then and heads up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“Hey, Ellie” his voice stops her in her tracks and she turns, finally looking him in the eyes as he stands at the bottom of the stairs.

“When’s your birthday?” he asks, folding his arms over his chest and she puffs out a laugh. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Um… like April? Sometime… I don’t know what day exactly. When’s yours?”

“September 26th”

“Oh cool, so like exactly one month difference from Rose” she smiles, genuinely thinking it's pretty awesome that they were both born on the 26th day of the month. “Well, one month and like a thousand years or whatever” she finishes her thought, not able to help herself and Joel rolls his eyes.

“Ha ha” Joel deadpans. “‘Be nice to me now, or I’m not gonna get ya a belated birthday present”

“You’re gonna get me a present?” Ellie’s eyes lit up at that.

“I’ll think a’somthin’” Joel nodded. “In the meantime you think on it and pick a day in April so we can celebrate properly next year”

“Turning soft on me old man?”

“Guilty as charged I guess” Joel just shrugged and Ellie smirked.

“Goodnight Joel” she said and he nodded.

“G’night Ellie”

Before she could talk herself out of it Ellie quickly padded down the stairs and threw her arms around Joel’s waist in a hug, nearly knocking him over in surprise she thinks by the way he partially stumbled backwards before wrapping his arms around her too. He kisses the top of her head and then she lets go, turning around and scurrying up the stairs to go to bed.

She sleeps through the night that night, for the first time in months.

~~~

Joel slowly makes his way down the stairs the next morning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he heads towards the kitchen to make some coffee. It’s early but he had heard Ellie go out the door for her shift at the stables and it woke him up. Not that he minded, he liked to be up early, even on his days off from patrol. Besides, he had a garage to fix up, he owed Ellie that birthday present, after all.

Wandering into the kitchen Joel prepared his coffee and went to bring the steaming mug to his lips but stopped when he noticed something on the table when he’d turned around. There was a piece of paper lying there with a smaller piece of paper placed on top of it. He picked up the smaller piece and read the note that was scribbled in Ellie’s familiar uppercase handwriting.

OLD MAN -

That dinosaur of a lady on the council with the stick up her butt said I had to fill out this form and that you need to sign it. Fascism wins again. Heheheheh just kidding, kind of. See you tonight. Chef Boyardee?

Love, Ellie.

Joel stared at the note, particularly the last two words and a smile reached his eyes. He folded it neatly and put it in his pocket to put it in a safe place later so he could hang on to it. If he’d had a picture frame he’d probably damn well frame it. Jesus, he had gone soft.

Next he picked up the form underneath and glanced over the information Ellie had given.

Name. Ellie Williams-Miller. Joel’s heart caught in his throat but he swallowed it down and kept reading. Date of Birth. April 26th, 2009. He smiled. She’d chosen the same day that his and Rose’s birthdays had fallen on. Cute kid. Known Allergies. None. Joel commended her for not writing in a joke about being allergic to learning or something equally ridiculous. Parent(s) and/or Guardian. Joel Miller. She had circled over 'parent'. There went his heart flip flopping in his chest again. Pull it together old man. Emergency Contact (other than above) + Relationship. Tommy Miller (Uncle). He’d bet Tommy couldn’t wait to be addressed as an Uncle again. He briefly wondered if Ellie would ever call him Uncle Tommy. Maybe he’d let her know that Tommy might like that and let her decide if she wants to.

The last line was for parent/guardian signature and Joel quickly scribbled his name down and then stared at the form again until his coffee had surely gone cold.

Ok, Maybe he needed two picture frames.

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #joel and ellie #joel miller #ellie williams #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal character fanfiction #the last of us hbo #joel & ellie fanficiton

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aita-blorbos · 1 year ago

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AITA for becoming my Great Uncle's apprentice and then accidentally playing a part in causing the apocalypse?

I (12M) have a twin (12F) and we've been best friends since forever, and a few months ago our parents took us to a weird sleepy town in Oregon to stay with our Great Uncle (71M), who we'll just call Grunkle 1. Recently, we found out he apparently had a twin brother (71M) who we didn't know about. This second Grunkle was trying to stop the apocalypse because apparently some evil triangle (Unknown Age, Male) was trying to start it by breaking something that looked like a snow globe called the Rift. We'll call this second Great Uncle Grunkle 2.

So now, recently while on a mission with Grunkle 2, he asks if I can stay in the town and become his apprentice. I accepted the offer, but I hadn't noticed my walkie talkie with my sister was still on, so she heard the whole conversation we had. Once I came back from the mission, my sister was crying and sobbing. She said that today was the worst day of her life, and that everyone was leaving her. Keep in mind, we were nearing the end of summer vacation and we would turn 13 by the end of it, so me and her would have to leave the town in a few days and start a pretty big era in our lives. I tried to reason with her, but she ended up running away into the woods. I figured she would be better in a few hours.

So, I went to Grunkle 2's lab so we could make sure the apocalypse never started. I brought my backpack with me as that's where I had all our supplies, or so I thought... basically, you know how my sister ran away? Yeah, she accidentally grabbed MY backpack instead of hers, and I grabbed HER backpack. So she had the supplies, while I had the birthday party invitations. We were going to try and find her but when we went outside... the apocalypse had already started. I'm guessing while running my sister had accidentally broken the Rift, which allowed the apocalypse to start.

I'm currently typing this as me and my friend hide from monsters. I don't know where my sister is. I feel like this is all my fault. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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ninapi · 2 years ago

Text

New to this (Akaashi version)

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Premise: Akaashi Keiji falls in love with a single mother and realizes she's all he wants for his life.

Word Count: 2848

Chapter 6: Good ending

Summer break is fast approaching, and you are considering places to go with the kids, even Akaashi will be taking a week off work to go somewhere nice, so you are currently browsing for ideas hoping to find inspirations for your family get away. Akaashi suggested going to someplace far enough that requires a plane ride, but not enough to leave the country. Seiji has been growing an obsession with planes and he wants to spoil his newly acquired son, so Hokkaido seemed like a safe bet, the weather is cooler up there and there’s lots of fun places to take the kids to.

Your relationship has advanced quite a bit, you now sleep in Akaashi’s room as he insisted Seiji needed his own room, even when he was the one that wanted him with Kimi to make use of the space, he was the one who ‘convinced’ you that boys need their space, he will be a teenager one day and would not like to share room with his little sister. You wanted to object and tease him because he totally just wanted you in his bed, but your heart was so full hearing him think of a future so far ahead that you were at a loss for words.

You two have been getting his room ready, Akaashi getting him a big boy’s bed for his birthday. He got him a loft bed with a desk underneath, so he had space of his own for his homework and side projects, but also space for his toys and books. Seiji was over the moon, his very own room, never would have guessed that would happen, he’s been sharing bed with you since he was born. His collection of toys also grew substantially now that his father gets him new stuff basically every week, you don’t like that he is somehow trying to buy his son’s affection, but he did miss a lot of birthdays and Christmas days, so you are allowing it for the time being, don’t want him to become spoiled due to it. Akaashi spent a good couple of hours every day after work painting the walls of his new room into a soft mint color that you chose for him and is now complete, his own big boy room.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You were preparing dinner while talking on the phone with Atsumu, tomorrow is his day of the week to be with his son and he wanted to discuss with you something that has been in his mind for a while now.

“So, I got these papers I need you to sign. Is it ok for me to see you tomorrow for a bit when I take Seiji home?” he doesn’t sound as confident as usual and is starting to throw you off a bit. “What do you mean papers? What kind of papers??” you stopped stirring up the curry you were preparing for tonight giving him your full attention. “Well, I want him to be my son in paper too. You know I have two apartments and well lots of things, I want them to go to him when I die.” you rolled your eyes at his choice of words, but you agree with this, you’ve had similar thoughts on your near-death experience and wanted to make sure he would go to his dad if something bad were to happen to you since Akaashi and you aren’t a couple legally, he wouldn’t be deemed responsible for your son. You also know you probably won’t get married even if the relationship pointed in that direction, for what you’ve heard he is very comfortable with how things are right now and thinks very little of marriage stating is just a social title, nothing more.

“Ok, ok, I’ll sign them. But first you gotta answer something for me or I ain't signing anything.” you’ve been dying to ask this, and you rarely have something to bargain with, so you take this chance, “Anything for you, my love.”, his 'fake sweetness' making you want to gag, but you hang on tight, this is too important and if you upset him this is the end, “Ok so, when you disappeared on me, I went to look for Samu and he had just disappeared from the surface of the earth just like you, even his phone number wasn’t working. What happened to him?” you’re absentmindedly biting your thumb, the curry pot now doing its thing. “Tsk.” is all you hear from the other side of the line, and you are quickly losing faith, he’s always been defensive when you mention him. “Took you long enough to ask, I thought that would be the first thing you’d ask me, you always liked him more than you ever liked me.” he wasn’t entirely wrong, but you would never say that to him, specially not now. You quietly wait for him to continue, “When I left you that night, I didn’t know what to do with my life. I knew I couldn’t tell Samu the truth. At first, I thought it was because I was embarrassed that you’d cheat on me the same week I bought our engagement ring. But in reality, I was kinda scared. I knew the moment I’d fuck up he would go for you and steal you away. He would always tell me that the only reason you were with me was because he was a coward and took too long, he constantly reminded me of that and I just couldn’t allow that to happen. So, when I got to his place that night I didn’t say anything, he was going on about how a very famous onigiri person from Okinawa had offer him a year-long internship at his shop, he wasn’t sure about being away for so long but I took it as a chance and I got him to accept it. I told him we had a fight and wanted some time alone to clear my head, so we both went together to Okinawa and did some touristy stuff while he got settled. We were on a dolphin exploration boat when I saw your name on his screen, he was busy taking pictures with his camera, so he didn’t notice. I took his phone and mine and threw them into open ocean.” you gasped loudly, almost leaving him deaf, not believing someone could stoop so low due to jealousy. “I got us new phones the same day, I just didn’t want him to talk to you, I knew he would fly straight to your arms on the same day if he would have known what happened, and probably ruin his future.” You don’t say anything to this, you know it’s true, that’s why you went looking for him, he’d always been your support, even before you got with Atsumu. “He had to stay for a year there, but he kept trying to find you, since I kept ignoring his questions he even sent Suna to our old place to look for you, but you were gone by then. And that’s all I know. When he found out I lied to him to keep him away from you we had a huge fight, he broke my nose with one of his punches and well, he didn’t talk to me for a couple of years after that until ‘Ma saw him throwing a bread stick to my face during a family holiday and forced him to forgive me.”

The line went completely silent, “You selfish bastard.” is all you say to him before ending the call, you were sobbing on the curry when Akaashi found you in the kitchen. He didn’t know what happened, but he heard you were talking with Atsumu in the phone. He wrapped both of his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind and leaving soft tickly kisses on the back of your neck, using the only tactic that he knows calm you down. “You know, those tiny shorts you’re wearing today are killing me. Hope you weren’t thinking of sleeping much tonight.” he whispers playfully biting your ear shell. You laugh in between sobs, shaking your head and removing the pot from the stove. “All yours, all night.” It’s all you say softly, pawing at your tears and trying to forget about all you heard just now.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

School has been going great and you are positive you will be able to finally graduate in a couple of semesters, life really is so much better these days.

Akaashi is currently taking a shower and you are just waiting for Seiji to come home; you still need to sign those papers and weren’t really looking forward to see Atsumu today. Summer was very extreme this year and you thought of sneaking for a few scoops of ice cream, happily dancing almost inside of the fridge, truthfully enjoying both the refreshing breeze coming from it and the delicious treat in your mouth, when you hear Seiji coming inside the house, running excitedly with a slightly large bag in his hand. “Mama look, you have to try this, is the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my whole life!! My uncle made these specially for you!!” the child rambles while pulling some rice balls out of a container, “Your what-?“ the spoon in your mouth falls to the ground clattering loudly, “(Y/N)?” you see a head poking behind the wall separating the entrance from the kitchen and you forgot what manners were all together. You just ran over to Osamu, more like jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and both legs around his waist. “Samu, oh my god. Is this really happening? Please tell me I didn’t pass out from the heat and I’m having the loveliest of dreams.” you mumble, kissing both of his cheeks. “Ya’ll isn’t this too much? Like why are you acting so differently from when you met me? You see? This is why I wanted you as far away from him as possible. It's all your fault.” grumbles Atsumu with an annoyed expression all over his face, “SHUT UP” you both yell at him in unison.

“I-I looked for you all over, (Y/N). I swear. I just couldn’t find you anywhere. You closed all your accounts, I didn't know what to do. I even contacted the Karasuno captain to see if he could help me, he is a cop now. But not even him could do much. I really tried all I could.” Osamu’s eyes are glossy with unshed tears, and you rest your forehead on his, “I know you did. I know.” Is all you can say, knowing you should get off of him, probably about now. The bathroom door opens to a shirtless and very wet Akaashi fully in display for everyone to see. “Oh, Osamu is here. Hey man! Haven’t seen you in a while.” Akaashi greets him while towel drying his hair.

Atsumu sulks walking over to plop himself on the sofa like it was his own house, annoyed at the fact that even Akaashi is treating him better. He stacks the papers on the coffee table, trying to get your attention. “(Y/N), so I brought you your beloved Samu, can you now sign my papers please? I kindda gotta go soon.” you just sat beside him, grabbing the papers and whispering a soft “Thank you” while squeezing his knee. Of course, this is what makes you happy. He should have known so.

You read over the papers and sign them without a hassle, your son now straddling his dad’s lap trying to get him to stop sulking. “Mama, daddy said he has a house in Osaka and that’s where USJ (Universal Studios Japan) is. Do you think I can go with him? I really want to see the Mario land.” he looks at you with puppy eyes, laying his head on Atsumu’s chest.

“I actually gotta go there in a couple of weeks, got a big game. I bet he would like to see his daddy win a game!” he puffs his chest out, making Seiji giggle and how can you honestly say no to him. “Alright, he should be out of school by then. But only for a few days and you gotta promise someone will look after him while you play.” you give him a serious look, knowing he would completely forget about it and just leave him alone on the bleachers. “How about you come with us, darlin’? I got more than enough room for the three of us.” he never learns.

“I, ehm. No, thanks.” you feel the other side of the sofa dent, Osamu sitting on your other side, his chin now on your shoulder giving a good look at the papers you just signed. He doesn’t trust his brother. “(Y/N), can I take Seiji to the aquarium? I was thinking maybe we can have a picnic after school, then go see some fishies.” He smirks over at Seiji who is now bouncing with joy begging you to please say yes. “Hmmmm….only if you let me join the fun~” you turn around to give him the prettiest pleading look he's ever seen, poking his belly.

Atsumu scoffs loudly, setting his son down and getting up and ready to leave. “Can you like not flirt with each other for once in this life? Akaashi is here! Not like you ever cared when you were with me but, can you not?”, Akaashi looked at you and just shook his head, “She isn’t flirting, dude. You should see her when she is.” this makes you chuckle, not even Akaashi is on his side today. “Besides, I know I would lose if Osamu was to make a move. I heard you had to kidnap him and throw his phone into the ocean to keep them apart. So, I would rather not upset my girl, that should do it.” You feel Osamu tense next to you, and its then he knows he’s too late once again, always late. If only…

Osamu gets on his feet, looking down at you. “I’ll text you later then. Already stole your number from my dumb brother’s phone.” he winks at you, but you are quick to see his sad smile. Deciding not to say anything you might regret later, you hand the signed papers to Atsumu and walk them out to his car.

What a day.

Akaashi, who’s too confident on what you two have right now, doesn’t even sweat at the longing look in Osamu’s eyes, just waving them off and heading back inside, pulling you with him by your hand. The night goes on like if nothing happened, tonight, diner would be a feast of different rice balls of all possible flavors. Or so they think, but you noticed, all of them had your favorite toppings. Your heart sank a bit, but you are just as comfortable with your current life as Akaashi is and dreaded complications. You will have to once again distance a bit from Osamu, even if that pains you to no avail.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

That summer was a summer you would never forget. After Seiji’s first time to Osaka with his dad, you all boarded a plane and headed to Hokkaido. You visited some flower farms; fed Alpacas; even went to a bear only safari. Not only did you have tons of fun with your kids, but your bond as a family grew deeper roots.

The four of you slept on the same futon for the entire week, Akaashi renting a villa in the countryside for all of you to enjoy but wanting to keep you all to himself as usual.

You woke up to birds singing every day, no work, no school, just you and your family going on between fun activities and home life. You had bbq outside a couple of times during that week, Akaashi cooking the meat for all of you while the kids ran around playing tag and chasing butterflies.

You even wore this sun dress Akaashi had bought for you as a surprise to wear during this trip, saying something along the lines of him wanting to show off.

Life was certainly different from a year before.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

-Time skip-

Watering the plants on the front yard you think about how five years ago this yard was empty, the house had nothing but gray walls, and plants were not welcomed in any way. Now it’s nothing like that, is even difficult to imagine it once was anything like it. You planted roses on both sides and some berry bushes at the front, a welcome mat now decorates the entrance along with a flower wreath.

The house inside had also change quite a bit, gray was replaced by white; family pictures, and trinkets now hanging from the walls, toys scattered every here and there. Just by looking inside from a window you could see how lived it was. Both of your children are no longer little, now both attending elementary school but just as lovely as they ever were.

You live happily, talking daily with your best friend and trying not to decapitate Atsumu. Your son loves them both and so do you, regardless of everything that’s happened.

Your family was big now and those days of loneliness are long forgotten in your hectic routine. You got a job at the same company as Akaashi, though you work in the publishing side very far away from him in a separate building, everything’s been going just great there too, a promotion coming its way to you in the coming months.

Akaashi yells from the kitchen, seemingly needing your help with the oven. You chuckle to yourself at your favorite clutz antics. “Coming!” you go back inside to save the day from the evil oven eating the chicken away. Once dinner has been saved you wrap yourself around him, kissing his lips softly and whispering sweet ‘I love yous’ while he holds you close against the kitchen counter.

You really couldn’t think of a better life and neither did Akaashi.

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Previous Chapter Bonus Chapter

Notes: So, this is the final chapter of the Akaashi version of this story. Like I mentioned on the first chapter, this series is set out to be like an otome game, since I loathe the bad endings in the games, I’m not having one in my story, instead I’m having a good ending, a happy ending and the true ending, this one being the good ending version. Thank you to everyone who read this, you are the loveliest humans alive and Santa will give you an extra present from me this year. Hope you stick around for the other two! -Love, Nina.

Master List

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyu fanfiction #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #Fluff #Angst #Family Fluff #Single Parenting #Slow burn #hurt/comfort #fukurodani #miya atsumu #Daddy Atsumu #inarizaki #miya osamu #miya brothers #miya twins #not so hidden spoilers of the next story

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naradivision · 5 months ago

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Thank you all ~🏮

Oh my goodness… I couldn’t believe that the summer is going to end soon, and it has been whole two months since my dearest son’s event was being left unfinished! So, first, let me deeply apologize to you guys for my super lateness in replying to you all since it’s my fault for not being able to deliver everything on time around June 21st. Recently, I’ve been occupied and also struggles in writing some scenes...

But most of all, so far as Yuuya’s birthday officially comes to a close, I’d love to express my gratitude toward everyone who has been out of their way to make his birthday a precious memory! It literally makes me so happy to see that he is still appreciated and supported by other people too. And as embarrassing as he wouldn’t admit it himself, I’m sure he is no doubt feeling the same! Thereby, thank you all for everything again!

As for the next birthday event of my division, it will be my old man Saigo-san’s in late December. At this point I'm not even sure in my ability to complete everything on time but I still would like to try my best, so please look forward to it…?

The day was winding down into midnight over Nara city, soon drawing the closing curtains to a birthday of the division leader who was now advancing to a bigger step in his life…

The summer blue ramune-flavored jelly cake made by his bestie Asahi was put back into a refrigerator after some slices as his late snack, Yuuya then turned himself around and suddenly noticed a mischievous camera panning at him.

“Eh? Is there any necessity to film this even though my birthday was going to end soon, ANGE?”

He frowned at the camera, followed by the cheerful answer from his resident cyber girl.

“Tee-hee, it couldn’t be ended yet☆ Looks like there has been some kind of formality for the participant to deliver their ending messages at the end of their birthday.” The girl’s voice informed him with a bit of teasing. “So well then, it’s your turn please~?”

“Pft.” Yuuya mildly chuckles. “Alright. Hmm… Let me think about it for a minute.”

Giving Ojou-chan a goodnight headpat, he walked into the living room where the birthday gifts he received all throughout this day were present. A wooden deer was sitting on his shelf alongside the menacingly adorable gadget-holder geese and some pieces of beautiful ornaments like a pair of goldfish earrings and an acorn necklace; near his laundry basket was a properly folded handmade haori as well as on his sofa had the brand-new Platinum ESP FRX CTM FR electric guitar from the famous ‘Bloody Mary’ resting on it with several gifts he got from his friends and acquaintances.

However, Saigo-san, his third team member, didn’t send him any gift this year. But that wasn’t because he was a stingy Scrooge as many love to misunderstand, Yuuya knew that this old man was just not accustomed to casual gifting like normal people do. Therefore, in the end he had settled it with a plan to take him and Hi-chan for a field trip to somewhere this summer instead. The details had yet to be discussed, but the old man did tell him that he wanted this trip to be inspiring for his summer project —There he wanted to chuckle again, for a year to break an ice, finally this old man knew how to chill out! And to confess his utmost honesty... He was quite anticipated about the trip too.

Besides, if things go well enough, he might get a chance to introduce ANGE to him too. Since that old man was the last one in his team who hadn’t known about her and he didn’t want to keep more secrets from his teammates...

Also, it became kinda ridiculous looking back at what had happened ever since he entered the tournament.

At first it all started just because he wanted to find some clues about his long-lost sister and to defend the town he loves from the bad people. But somehow who would have known that there would be a lot of things being kept throwing into his life without a break, both for the things that made his head spin and also the things that brought him an unexpected joy…

Lastly stoping at the door to his father’s room, the now university boy turned to face the camera with a tender smile.

“My birthday hasn’t been this lively for some time ago after my dad left on this very day… And trying to move on from my grief was still something I have to work on, but anyway, it’s all thanks to you guys. Everyone’s kindness had meant so much to me. I’m reminded that I’m not fighting alone anymore, also, it wouldn’t be so bad to try looking forward to a new day again. Therefore, cheers, I wish y’all the best of my regards too.”

And thus, his birthday event had come to an end.

Hadn’t it?

“Hey, human. Has this birthday finally made you... happy?”

“...Uh? Why hasn’t it?”

“Geez. For your information, you know, this has already passed midnight and you’ve overworked yourself again!”

“Shh. I know, I know, just a little bit more. My draft for the project’s teaser is almost finished...”

“Seriously, what kind of person overworking himself on his own birthday?! It has been like this for three days! Even an A.I. like ANGE is aware that a human’s brain needs a proper rest and sleep!”

“…..”

“Neeeee ANGE has no way to know what kind of grandiose or standard you’re striving to reach, but she doesn’t think you need to push yourself too hard... If you need some help, you just need to ask~”

“.............Then, let me ask something. Which place do you aspire to visit the most in this summer?”

“Simple question, obviously the sea!”

“Hmm… Roger that. The sea, alright.”

“Eh? Hold up, why do you ask—”

—Happy Birthday my boy (≧ヮ≦) 💕

Well then, looked like we had got the destination for the end of this season...

➤ Miraitabi Next Stop: Summer Mixtape ...coming soon...

➤ Credit the pic from picrew created by 까리

➤ Also, credit the divider by: @cafekitsune

#hypmic oc #hypnosis microphone oc #nara division #miraitabi #yuuya kanata #ANGE #asahi tomoharu #saigo fuyugami #happy birthday yuuya 2024 #sunflower & sea anemone #credit the divider by cafekitsune #honestly it feels a bit rushed for most parts but good thing I finally finish it before summer...#AHHHH also deeply apologizing for my delayyy my brain has been wacky for my internships #anyway pls look forward to the mixtape (≧ᗜ≦) ♪

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reigningqueenofwords · 9 months ago

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Not One of Us

Word count: 2,260 Request: Anonymous. Hey! Could you do angst where the reader is the winchesters half sister from one of Johns flings and Dean hates her guts because she taints the memory of his mom but Sam likes her. She always tries to get deans approval but it never works and she breaks down and asks why he hates her so much and he yells and she runs away. Sam goes after her and maybe in the end Dean agrees to give her a chance? Thanks! I love your tumblr! So good!

Read on AO3

Shaking, your hands pulled out the number that had been tucked away in your wallet for two years. You licked your lips and dialed it before pulling your cell phone against your ear. You were waiting to hear the voice that you hadn’t heard in about a year. Your father’s. He had come around as often as he could, and made sure to always send you letters at least once a month. They had stopped about six months ago, but he had written that something had happened, and he wanted to protect you. It hurt, but you understood.

“Hello?” A man’s voice answered. It wasn’t your father.

“I-is John there?” You tried to hide the fact that you were crying.

You heard movement. “John died.”

Inhaling sharply, you shook your head. “When?”

“Six months ago.” The man said. “Who is this?” His voice didn’t sound pleased.

“I’m his daughter, Y/N. He- he told me to ever call if I was in trouble.” You wiped your cheek. “Do you know if Bobby is still alive?”

There was a long pause. “John didn’t have any daughters.” He snapped, obviously angry.

“Well, seeing as my father is John Winchester, he must have kept my existence from whoever you are.” You sighed.

“I’m his son.” The man snapped.

You knew that you had brothers, he had shown you pictures. “Is this Dean? Or Sam?” You asked, wondering who you were talking to.

“Where are you?”

Looking around, you let out a choked sob. You were sitting in your basement, hiding. There hadn’t been any sound from upstairs in awhile, and that was the only reason you called the number. You’d explained to Dean where you were, and he was only a couple hours away. He told you to stay put. Yeah, where were you gonna go? Certainly not out there.

You must have nodded off, because you were woken up by the sound of crashing. Blinking, you saw you were still in your hiding spot. “Y/N?!” This was a different voice than on the phone. You held your breath, hoping that whoever attacked your mother wasn’t in the house. Namely, the man calling for you. “My name is Sam. Dean sent me.”

Taking a deep breath, you slid out of your hiding spot and stood up. Your clothes were covered in blood and there were streaks on your face from crying. His eyes widened when he saw you. “C-can we get out of here?” You were shaking. You weren’t sure if it was because you were a bit cold, scared, or in shock.

Sam pulled off his coat and put it around your shoulders. “Come on. Dean’s in the car.” He said gently. “Do you know what happened?”

“I just got back from visiting my aunt. It’s summer vacation, and I decided to go there this year instead of staying home. It was a spur of the moment thing.” You tried avoiding looking around upstairs. “I got back this morning. I figured that…that mom was just at work. I dropped my stuff off in my room and took a quick shower. When I came downstairs to get something to eat- I found her. I freaked, went to check on her. She was cold. Ever since I was little, I was told that if something like that happened, I needed to call my dad. And, if I couldn’t reach him, Uncle Bobby.” He looked sad. “A couple years ago, he gave me a number that he said he’d keep just in case. It’s been in my wallet since. I ran upstairs for it, and my phone. I heard something, and I panicked. I went and hid in the basement.” Stepping out into the afternoon sun, you couldn’t even enjoy the heat on your skin.

“When’s the last time you saw him?” He asked gently as you neared the car.

You thought. “About a year ago. He came for my fifteenth birthday.” You smiled sadly. “He came to my little party, had a ’talk’ with the boy I liked, and then me, him, and mom, went out for dinner.” You were now standing next to a shiny black car. “He still wrote, though. At least once a month, until six months ago. A couple letters before they stopped he wrote that he was going to stop to protect me.”

Sam gave you a sympathetic smile. “Come on. I’ll go get some of your things for you. Is there anything you want me to look for?”

“My jewelry box. In the top little compartment, there’s a locket. It has an engraving on it. That, and a photo album on my book shelf.”

He opened the back door of the car and let you slide in. Dean didn’t look at you, or say anything. The air in the car was full of tension.

In the two hours it took you to get back to the motel they had been staying at, Dean had not said one word to you. Hadn’t looked in your direction, nothing. Once there, Sam told you to get cleaned up and handed you the bag that he’d managed to stuff full of your clothes. Your locket was once again around your neck, containing a picture of your parents.

Six months had passed. Although, to you it felt like an eternity. Dean never warmed up to you. Hell, he would barely speak to you. You cried yourself to sleep every night. You’d lost both your parents in one day, and your older brother hated you.

Sam and Dean returned from a hunt, and Sam smiled at you. You and Sam were close. He’d accepted you with open arms. Bobby had confirmed your story, and had hugged you a bit too tight when he saw you. Said last time he saw you you were in diapers, and then after that, just pictures. It made you happy that John had spoken of you to him, but it only fueled the hatred that Dean felt for you.

“Hi, guys. Hunt go okay?” You tried to be in a good mood, but you could tell by looking at you that it was an act.

Sam smiled at you. “Yeah, how was school?” He had enrolled you in an online school so you wouldn’t fall behind, and you didn’t have to attend the local high school.

“I got an A on my English paper.” You grinned, as writing was something that you enjoyed.

“Good for you.” Dean muttered sarcastically as he walked by. Your grin fell. You couldn’t say your heart broke, by now it was more like opening an old wound.

Sam groaned, hating that this was how Dean treated you. “Sorry about him.” Sam sighed.

You shook your head. “It’s okay. Go relax, and I’ll start dinner.”

You made a quick and easy dinner, and spent the rest of the time making a pie. Not that you even knew how, but following directions couldn’t be too hard, right? Dean smelled when it was cooking and came into the kitchen, frowning. You had made a huge mess. “What the hell?”

Looking at him, you bit your lip. “I, uh, wanted to make you a pie.”

“Look at this place!” He snapped, making you jump.

“I…I plan to clean it up…” You said, your voice weak.

Dean shook his head and stormed off. This was yet another failed attempt to get on his good side. You had washed Baby, you had cleaned the bunker once while they were on a hunt, you had taken on most of the cooking, and now this. The pie still had a good half an hour, so you followed him.

You found him in the library with Sam. “Sam, can I talk to Dean, please?” Sam looked between the two of you and sighed when Dean rolled his eyes. He left anyone, kissing the top of your head as he went by. “Dean?” He grunted that he heard you. “Why? Why do you hate me so much?”

He got up, crossing his arms over his chest. “We’ve lived our whole lives, just the two of us. And here you come, expecting for us to just take you in. Why? Because my father couldn’t keep it in his pants?” You teared up. “All his talk about wanting to avenge my mother, and instead, he was out sleeping around. Never mentioned you at all. Made it seem like my mother was the only one for him.” It was clear that he was pissed. “That’s a slap in the face to my mother’s memory. You may have my father’s blood, but you are no Winchester.” He was so angry that he was starting to cry himself.

Turning, you walked out of the room, slowly picking up speed. You rushed past Sam, slamming your bedroom door and locking it. Sam went to the living room just for Dean to tell him to leave him alone. You grabbed your bag, throwing everything you could into it. If you weren’t wanted, fine. As soon as you knew they were asleep, you were gone.

You heard the timer go off for the pie, but ignored it. After a few minutes, it stopped, and you knew that Sam likely took it out. At least Dean liked one of his siblings. Sam tried to talk to you, but you ignored him, hiding in your room, crying.

As the clock hit one in the morning, you hadn’t heard any movement from outside your room for some time. You quickly scribbled a note and left it on your pillow.

I’m sorry I’m not a proper Winchester. I’m sure your mother was lovely. Sam- thank you. For everything. I loved having you as a big brother. Dean…I wish we could have gotten along. I tried. I hope that things work out for you. You got your wish. I’m gone, and I won’t be back.

-Y/N

Of course, you knew this was probably a really stupid move. You didn’t care. You slipped through the halls of the bunker, and out the front door. You’d have to go on foot, but you’d manage. Sam wouldn’t wake up until around six for his run, Dean around ten. Dean wouldn’t bother coming to check on you, and Sam wouldn’t until around eleven, probably. That gave you plenty of time to hitch a ride somewhere.

The next morning, Dean went about his life as usual, acting as if his temper hadn’t taken over yesterday. Sam, however, wanted nothing more than to shake Dean and tell him to apologize. He wasn’t wasting his breath, however.

Come noon, he was starting to worry. He went to your room and knocked. Getting no answer, he tried the door. It opened, and he walked in. His face fell. Sam walked over to your bed and picked up the note, his jaw clenching.

Sam stormed through the bunker to Dean. He dropped the note in front of him without stopping. He had to find you. You were a sixteen year old girl, without money, and Winchester blood. That wouldn’t end well.

Dean looked at the paper, confused for a moment, before picking it up and reading it. He had mixed feelings, but knew that Sam would be on the hunt for you.

Come three that morning, your legs were killing you. Living in a remote area, there had been no cars. You were starting to feel like an idiot. An idiot for leaving with them. An idiot for thinking you could feel anything like a family. An idiot for not calling a cab during the day. But, there you were.

You slipped into the woods and found a spot that seemed well covered and curled up there. Using your bag as a pillow, you nodded off, curled in the fetal position.

Sleep didn’t last too long, however. You woke up right after dawn, groaning. You were sore, and a bit cold. Getting up, you grabbed your bag and took a deep breath. Once back on the road, you continued on, hoping that a car would pass.

Your stomach was yelling at you, as you hadn’t even thought to grab food. That was something you would deal with later.

Around one, you finally heard a car. Sighing, you stuck out your thumb, hoping they were nice enough to stop. Hearing them pull up, you smiled and turned to the car. Your smile fell. “Come on, Y/N. Come home.” Sam pleaded, getting out.

“No, Sam. He hates me. He made it perfectly clear that I’m not wanted.” You shook your head, crying when he took you in his arms.

He rubbed your back. “He’ll come around. I want you there.” He said, his lips against the top of your head. “You’ve got to be starving. Come on, lunch is on me.”

You looked up at him and nodded, wiping a tear from your cheek.

When you got back to the bunker, Dean came out. You stayed behind Sam, waiting for him to start yelling again. Sam shot him a look telling him that he better be nice. Dean took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m…sorry.” Your eyes went wide. “I shouldn’t take this out on you. It’s not your fault.” You gave him a small smile. “I’ll try to be a better brother.” His voice was soft.

Moving around Sam, you gave Dean a quick hug. “You can start by eating that pie I made you!” You tried to lighten the mood up.

He smirked. “Sweetheart, that things half gone.”

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astras-midnight-thoughts · 2 years ago

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It’s been months now, exactly how long I cannot remember

Since I called things quit, and put an end to the first real relationship I’d ever had. I remember being sad for a day, then no longer. Perhaps I had already mourned the loss of what we had

I wonder if you ever did?

A romance blooming in the summer, meeting is cold end in the winter. It’s fitting how that describes how things went. At first it was lovely, a warm hug, a gentle flame, passionate words that touched the heart

It became a cold feeling, disappointment when I wouldn’t hear back, shiny words that lost their luster, just unread messages on a phoneI visited you whenever I could, I brought gifts - tiny pieces of me for you to hold when I wasn’t there

I was eager to read your messages, to hear your voice; to hug you, to hold your hand, to kiss you

Two hour drive, there and back

You always said once you turned 18 you would be able to do whatever you wanted. You just couldn’t before, due to your mother. I understood.

Another two hour drive, there and back

November, then December. Things turned colder. I felt you growing distant. We were both busy, I had work and school, you had school. I always managed to reach out to you though

The words you sent back felt a bit more empty. Sent hours later, if at all.

Did we call? I can’t remember

It was nearing the end of December when I asked you to come down. My birthday was coming up, and I wanted to celebrate it with you. Your birthday was a week later.

You told me “I’d have to ask my mom”

You told me “She won’t let me, I don’t have a ride”

I told you about the bus route that could connect us, the guest bedroom all prepped, the fee I would happily pay.

You were almost 18, you could do what you wanted.

You never showed up

You were having a hard time that month

Your mom wouldn’t drive you

Your mom wouldn’t let you on that bus

And still, you were just about to turn 18.

My mom and I talked - she wasn’t happy with you at all. But I still gave you the benefit of the doubt, because

It was your 18th birthday when I realized it was time.

I waited a day or so to say anything though

I called you, explained everything, my feelings, what I’d experienced, I communicated and hoped you would understand. I was angry and disappointed and over it

“I’m sorry you felt that way”

“I’ve been having a really hard time”

“My mom wouldn’t-“

We need to take a break

“Okay”

“If that’s what you want”

You always respected my boundaries

But I’d be lying if I didn’t want you to fight me on that

To prove me wrong, to change, to promise to be better, to talk to me like you had before

But instead, it was just “okay”

You tried to continue the conversation after that, talk about something normal - like my whole world didn’t just stop.

I told you I needed to go.

As soon as I hung up I was sobbing.

I did the right thing, yet it hurt more than I ever thought it would

I ran into the arms of my mom, as I felt a pain I never had before.

Heartbreak

My very first relationship was over

I was the one who ended it

So why was I more upset that you were

My tears would dry, my anger would grow, so did my suspicions

Did you only have a girlfriend so she could love you? So that you could have comfort when you wanted it?

You talked to me when you were lonely, and shoved me to the back of your mind when you couldn’t be bothered to put in effort

A two hour drive, there and back. A trip you never even made, not once

Did you really think I was going to hang around forever- going with whatever you wanted at the time. A doting girlfriend, a missed text

At what point did you get bored?

At what point did you think that messaging me after - like you hadn’t just ripped my heart in two was a good idea.

You texted me more the week after we broke up then you had in at least a month.

Short replies is what I gave

Valentine’s Day came, I was alone yet again. What made you think I wanted a text from you with a picture of flowers in a store, saying “happy Valentine’s Day” would make me want to speak with you.

Was that you trying to get me back? What did you possibly think I was going to say back to that?

Probably not “umm thanks?”

I changed your name. It was your nickname, then it was your name.

Now it’s just your name (ex)

That was the last time I’d heard from you. I don’t know why, not for sure. I can’t say I was disappointed though

I thought it was over, yet months later, I join a social media app - and not five seconds after setting everything up did I get a notification.

You friend requested me

Ignored it for days

Until, I accepted. And waited.

After a day, and nothing, I deleted you. After all, we all make mistakes - didn’t take too long to fix them though

Yesterday I deleted our convos from my phone. I had to scroll down quite a ways, forgot they were there.

I didn’t change your name this time. But if for some reason I were to get a text from you

It would show up as (xxx) xxx xxxx

I would just say

“Sorry who is this?”

“I think you have the wrong number”

#breakup #heartbreak #feelings #first love #first relationship #writing #sad #its cryin time boies

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bewhoeveriwannabe · 2 years ago

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Messy Bestie

Addison and Ashley have been best friends since pre-k. They were inseparable. There was never a time Addison was seen without Ashley. They were more than best friends; in fact, they were like sisters. When you saw them together, it was as if they were only one person. They’ve lived next door to one another since birth. Their parents went on summer vacations together. One time, Addison’s dad wrote a recommendation letter for Ashely’s dad to work in the city at the mayor’s office. He saved their family from losing their home to the bank.

Addison’s dad, Austin was the sheriff of the town. He was very well respected. No one committed any crimes in the rural area thanks to her dad. He’s solved every crime that has ever been committed. The community admired him. Her mom, Lisa was more admirable than Austin. She owned the only women’s boutique. The nearest clothing store was Walmart unless you drove about 200 miles to the mall down the highway. Every woman within the 100-mile distance visited Lisa’s store. She knows every woman from each town from the west to the east and south to the north. One year she threw a birthday party and every convenience store, gas station, restaurant, and grocery store closed in town. It was as if her birthday was a holiday.

Addison’s parents were the power couple with their beautiful daughter who was sweet as could be. Everyone in the middle school Addison attended looked up to her. All the girls and guys would stop and stare whenever she walked past. One time, Kristy was being bullied for wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers. Everyone laughed at her and called her poor. Addison went home and told her parents what Kristy was going through before asking them to buy her a pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers also. When Addison walked into the school the next day, everyone’s jaws dropped. Addison has changed the perspective of Chuck Taylor for all eighth graders. After Christmas break, every kid in the eighth grade had a pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers thanks to Addison.

Everyone loved her, she was perfect. Even more perfect than Ashley, who would be in Addison’s shoes if Austin and Lisa never meet. Ashley admired Addison more than the other eighth graders as if they weren’t best friends. When Addison was away, Ashley would melt. One year, Addison went to visit her grandma out of town and rumors say Ashley didn’t shower the entire time she was away. She just sat in her room, hiding under the covers while she cried and shook from anxiety. One year, Addison dressed as Thing 1 while Ashley dressed as Thing 2. Everyone thought it was super weird. It was funny how they thought it wasn’t weird Addison dyed her hair pink and cut bangs in it then the next day at school, Ashley had done the same thing.

I’ve been in school with Addison and Ashley since pre-k also. I stay on the same block in our neighborhood. Everyone admired their friendship, but I thought it was toxic. It was scary how they were the same. They even began to look alike after we left elementary school. In the back of my head, I always thought the day their friendship ends Ashley would end the world along with it. Although they were best friends, it was obvious Ashley admired the friendship more. Sometimes Addison would say nasty things to Ashley, but Ashley would ignore it. “Ew, your breath smells like crap!” She’d scream over the lunch table so the entire cafeteria could hear, and everyone would laugh. One day, I asked Ashley why she allows Addison to be snobby towards her and she replied, “Because I love her silly!”

The prediction I had of their toxic friendship was true. I knew that the end would be near once the inseparable duo broke ties the summer before we began high school. I never knew what the reason was, but my mind allowed me to think it was Ashley’s obsession with her bestie. Rumors are Ashley’s mom doesn’t know she and Addison aren’t friends anymore. She lies to her mom and tells made-up stories about ‘a joke Addison told today’ or Addison’s awesome cheerleading performance at the football game, although she watched from the top of the bleachers all alone. Some say she lied to her mom because she betrayed a great friendship. Others think she lies because she’s delusional and doesn’t notice her bestie isn’t exactly her bestie anymore. But I think it’s because Ashley wanted to live in Addison’s skin.

Ashley no longer stood in Addison’s shadow; she did everything alone now. Her hair was never styled, she wore a ponytail the entire school year which wasn’t her usual. As Dressing fashionably for class was no longer a priority, she wore baggy jeans and big sweatshirts. All the friends she had when we were in eighth grade, no longer spoke to her since Addison didn’t speak to her. She walked around school like a zombie. With big and slow steps, I could feel the pain of emotion in each one she took. Although Ashley and I didn’t speak much, I felt for her. I’ve seen how bright she could be since we were five years old. She has let herself go and if “give up” was a person, it would, unfortunately, be Ashley.

I sat with Ashley every day during our lunch period. I couldn’t stand to watch the stares and glances she received. I thought if maybe just one person joined her, she wouldn’t look like an outcast. Although we sat together, we never spoke. She just keeps her head down while she eats snacks from the vending machine. I only see the top of her head. She never looks me in the face. Every day I give myself a pep talk before lunch to speak to her. “Hey Ashley, how are you?” I would practice under my breath. I’d be crazy to ask her that, I can see how she’s doing. I want to ask her why Addison cut ties of their friendship, but I know that’s not my place. I know why I haven’t said anything to her, but I’m not sure why she doesn’t speak to me. Maybe she thinks I’m the weird one for not speaking. She may not say anything to me, but I know she appreciates me sitting with her.

I looked around the lunchroom and saw Addison sitting with her usual group of friends most would call ‘popular’. Addison didn’t have one bestie anymore; she had an entire clique. They followed everything she did. They were sort of her pets. They stood outside the bathroom door until she finished her business. I even heard they do all her homework and assignments in class. I watched her as she laughed and joked at the lunch table. Her dark hair fell to her waist with highlights of pink and blue extensions. Her crop top shirt showed off her awesome cheerleader abs and body. Her smile was gorgeous, especially when she showed her bright pearly white teeth. Everyone loved Addison at our old middle school the year before, but now we’re in high school she has even more power than before. There’s triple the number of guys and girls to drool over her.

After lunch is 4th period, US History class. I sat in the back of the room as I waited for class to begin. I’m usually always the first one here while others take their time getting back from lunch. I was shocked to see Ashley early also. Every class she’s late, sometimes she doesn’t come at all. If my perfect ex-best friend was in the same class as me, I probably would skip too. I watched her as she grabbed a bottle of liquid out of her bag and napkins. She took her normal big and slow steps as she walked toward Addison’s assigned seat. I felt a panic fall upon me as she held the bottle upside down it dripped onto the desk. What is she doing? I was afraid. I knew Ashley wasn’t her old self and I was scared. The old Ashley wouldn’t hurt a fly. But the new Ashley, I wouldn’t underestimate her. She then took the napkins and wiped the substance off before sitting down.

As usual, she never looked at me. But she knew I saw. What has she done? Should I let an adult know? I was terrified. Ashley has turned into an entirely different person, and it seemed I didn’t know her anymore. What if it’s poison and she wants to murder Addison? My entire body was tense. My hands began to sweat, and my legs couldn’t stop shaking. I never felt fear before as I did now.

I jumped as the school bell rang and many students joined us in the class. The room felt dizzy, and everything was in slow motion as I watched Addison walk to her seat. My heart dropped as Ashley looked back at me and we locked eyes. She turned her head back to the front as our teacher began the lesson. I clenched my fist hard; I could feel my nails breaking the skin on my hand. Ashley hasn’t looked me in my face the entire school year, what did this mean suddenly? Was it a threat? I’m not sure, but the fear in my chest wouldn’t allow me to tell anyone anyway. In a matter of minutes, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t.

About fifteen minutes into class, I was ready to explode. My insides were hot, and I could feel my skin melting. I was too anxious to know what Ashley has done. Then, it finally happened. Addison began to cough randomly cough rapidly. They sounded painful as she wheezed for breath in between coughs. It started an irruption in the class. “Addison are you okay?” her friend asked. But Addison didn’t answer. Instead, she began to hold her throat tight with both hands. ‘Ashley is evil’ I thought to myself. She is going to kill Addison! Addison’s friend rushed by her side, “Oh my gosh! Your face!” she exclaimed. Addison’s face generalized hives all over. Although her skin was brown, she was red as a cherry. Addison was having an allergic reaction!

I’ve only seen this once when we were in elementary school. Addison had an encounter with peanuts while on a field trip to the zoo. Her entire face resembled a red balloon and she coughed uncontrollably, just as she did now. Oh now, Ashley has done something evil. That liquid substance must have contained peanuts. My stomach felt quesey and I began to gag. Some students turned quickly and glanced at me before turning their attention back to Addison. The thought of Ashley causing harm to Addison made me sick!

I watched Ashley jump from her seat and towards Addison. “What are you doing weirdo?” Addison’s friend called out. Ashley ignored her as she went into Addison’s backpack and retrieved her EpiPen. Ashley knew that Addison kept an EpiPen in her backpack, and I did too. But for some reason, I remained stuck in my seat watching the horrific scene play out like a movie. Ashley stabbed the Epipen into Addison’s thigh through her blue jeans. I felt my stomach knotting again while I gagged heavily and loudly. I quickly grabbed my backpack before vomiting into it. I’ve never felt this worse in my life.

I’ve begged my mind to erase the images of that day. Every time I think about it, I think about how I could’ve prevented it. I sat at the lunch table alone as I watched Ashley and Addison across the cafeteria. They were talking and laughing with those who used to be only Addison’s friends. Ashley’s long black hair hung to her waist as Addison’s was also. They both had matching cheer uniforms for the rival basketball game tonight. Months have passed and I never told Ashley’s secret. I convinced myself that Ashley deserved the life she was living. I’ve seen how she is when she’s not friends with Addison. Being lonely, going through high school alone. She deserves the same opportunities as us all; to have a social life, to feel pretty, and be happy. Whom would I be to take that all from her?

I haven’t spoken a word to Ashley, but whenever she sees me, I’m greeted with “Hey friend!”. Followed by a fast wave and bright smile before she goes along with her day. My heart skips a few beats, and my stomach knots every time she says it. I fear Ashley. She’s capable of the worst, hurting someone you once cared for. I knew I would never tell anyone about what Ashley had done, because if she’d hurt someone she was obsessed over, imagine what she’d do to me.

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