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ssa-dado · 11 hours ago

Text

Booty Call

Aaron Hotchner x fleabag!reader Genre: Excruciatingly drawn-out mutual pining followed by some office-lit smut Summary: The last time you saw Hotch, he came in his pants in 30 seconds. Now he’s inviting you to his office, pretending that didn’t happen - only to end up fingering you against a door. Warnings: SEXUAL CONTENT. MDNI!! In-office ladyfingering, Hotch peacocking for reader’s attention for 70% of the fic, objectification of the Hotchner body, affectionate bullying, and indirect mentions of Haley (RIP queen) Word Count: 6.1k (sorray) Dado's Corner: A very long fic… but you know what else is long??? The wait!!! because I was busy surviving finals. This is technically a pt2, but not really (no need to read the first one). I provide all the context because I support commitment issues and believe in standalones for the emotionally unavailable Proofreading, creative consulting, and emotional damage control generously powered by @hotchology and @softtdaisy <3333 thank you, my loves <3333 I am but a shell without you. (EDIT: forgot to mention this was inspired by THIS request by my lovely Y anon <3 I'm 629 months late, I'm so sorry)

masterlist

Sometimes a “u up” text isn’t a late-night booty call. Sometimes it’s a “you could come into my office” from the FBI dilf whose soul (and pants) you annihilated in under 30 seconds.

Naturally, the mere possibility of you coming (you choose to interpret “could” very generously) is enough to make you blow ten dollars worth of gas just to haul ass all the way to Quantico.

(AKA Copville.)

Now, in fairness, the texts leading up to this divine invitation weren’t exactly dripping with lust – but more like:

btw remember when my landlord tried to evict me because I stopped paying rent in protest over him not fixing shit, and you helped me draft that letter?

(You very graciously leave out the part where he fled your apartment after coming in his pants.)

(Not that you’re trying to shame him. He’s probably been thinking about it every night since - alone, full of regret. And lotion. Hopefully.)

well… he’s escalating things legally. I might need your help.

(It’s giving: You haven’t texted since, but I’m desperate and legally vulnerable now. Help me, Obi-Wan.)

But also - are you really desperate? Or are you just responding logically when he replies - immediately (thirty minutes later) - with:

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): Sure. Here’s the number of the best housing lawyer I know. - A.H.

Which is clearly a move. That’s not “don’t bother me.” That’s “please bother me, but I’m terrified I’ll embarrass myself by creaming my pants again the second you make eye contact.”

That’s basically textbook damage control.

Because you are his biggest problem (no pun intended - except, yes, exactly that. The kind of problem that causes a very noticeable shift in his posture. The kind he has to hide behind file folders and moral codes and Section 12B of the FBI conduct manual.)

So no. He’s not pushing you away. He’s playing hard to get. Bureaucratically.

Hence why you followed up with:

it’s very veeery urgent

Because what is urgency, really, if not the slow, unbearable throb of two mutually sexually repressed adults - one of whom hasn’t fucked since dial-up internet - desperately trying not to desecrate government-issued upholstery?

And sure enough, he responds:

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): I’m still at work. Buried in paperwork. Even if I want to help, I can’t right now. I’m stuck. -A.H.

Ah. The ‘I’m-still-trying-to-play-it-precious’ act.

Naturally, it leads you to reasonably reply with:

how can I help you come unstuck?

And that is what finally gets you the invitation of the century:

aaron hotchner (work, no nudes): You could come into my office. -A.H.

Yeah. He wants you. Desperately. And he’s so bad at hiding it.

Especially because from the moment you utter the magic words - “I’m looking for Agent Aaron Hotchner’s office” - there’s this weird little ritual of welcome that kicks into gear.

The receptionist visibly straightens her spine, picks up the phone, nods a few times before politely redirecting you to the correct elevator so you can reach the Prince’s Tower without too many obstacles.

It’s all so seamless, so orchestrated, the man is practically leaving breadcrumbs to his office.

You half expect rose petals. Or armed guards. Instead, when the elevator doors glide open on the sixth floor, you’re greeted by one of his minions - clean-shaven, suited, radiating “I’ve been briefed” energy - waiting to escort you to the throne room.

Aaron is clearly pulling every Type-A string in his alphabetized folder of delusions, doing everything in his power to maintain an air of federal professionalism - probably to intimidate you.

Probably to get you to forget the fact that he once came in his pants for a couple of grinds.

Nice try, Commander Creamsicle. You’re not exactly impressed.

Especially when you have to pass desk after desk, climbing a bureaucratic Mount Olympus - one, two, three… definitely more than ten steps - until there it is. His door.

Aaron Hotchner.

Gold brassy nameplate in – shockingly - an almost friendly rounded serif (DIN, maybe.) Soft. Wholesome. Kind of like his moans.

You knock. Twice. (You don't want to jump-scare the Supreme Leader.)

Nothing.

"Hotch will be right back...” the minion says.

(Hotch. Oh, no. That’s what he goes by? A cutesy diminutive of a last name carried by maybe twelve people in North America? For fuck’s sake. You’re dealing with a man whose entire personality hinges on being a limited edition. A cry for individuality wrapped in a kevlar vest.)

“…He’s in a meeting with the Section Chief,” the minion explains, professional but pitying. “He’ll be back as soon as possible. You’re welcome to wait inside.”

So you wait.

Long enough for everyone else to pack up and leave.

Long enough for the lights in the bullpen to go dark one by one.

Long enough to steal bandwidth from his federal office so you can stream ten-minute commentary videos on hyperspecific topics you’d never admit to caring about. All without touching your sacred monthly data.

You sit in his chair. Then on his desk. Then back in his chair because it swivels and you’re a simple creature with no impulse control. You spin once. Twice. Kick off the floor and make yourself dizzy just to cope with the fact that you’re here.

In his space.

Alone.

…Unsupervised.

You snoop. Obviously.

You poke around his perfectly aligned fountain pens and - because you were put on this Earth to create chaos - you tilt each one just slightly off its original axis. You test them out on a sticky note (which, for some reason, is bright pink - another unspeakably erotic detail).

You start doodling. Then you try cursive. Then you try writing your name next to his like a middle schooler.

You look at everything.

The picture of his ex-wife (RIP). The photo of him and his son. The solo picture of his son he keeps right on the desk.

The drawings - so many - lined up like a proud museum of fatherhood on the bookshelf.

The bookshelf itself, housing an ungodly collection of law texts you don’t even pretend to open.

The plaques. The trophies. The commemorative papers he felt the need to frame with words like “commendation” and “valor” and “outstanding service” printed in fonts that scream male validation.

His diploma from Georgetown Law (summa cum laude, of course). And the notation of academic kiss - because God forbid this man gets through any institution without someone formally rewarding him with affection.

You take it all in, every shiny, sterile, perfectly arranged detail. Anything to distract yourself from the fact that the last time you were alone with him the only sounds were the wet friction of desperation and the humiliatingly gorgeous groans he tried (and failed) to smother.

Like the low creak of the door hinges cracking open now.

“I thought it was obvious I was being ironic when I told you to come all the way here,” says Aaron - no, Hotch now, Unit Chief in full (Terrifyingly light on his feet. You didn’t even hear him coming. [No pun intended.]),

(…No comment on the irony thing. If you open your mouth you might cry, and you still need to keep up the illusion that you’re cool. Chill. Unbothered. Unflappable.)

(You don’t know why he’s earned the privilege of you pretending to be someone you're not just to impress him - but here you are. Still doing it. Still hating yourself for it, a little.)

You shoot up from his chair like you’ve been caught committing a felony (which, in his eyes, sitting in his chair might as well be), and the motion actually makes him chuckle.

(Great. That’s why you’re doing this. That sound. That exact sound. That’s your motive. You want to be the kind of person who gets that sound out of him.)

Back into the designated guest seat you go - grinning, sheepish, trying to play innocent (or at least get away with charm) like you didn’t just defile his sacred leather throne.

Aaron Hotch lingers in the doorway a moment longer, eyes on you with what you - very generously, possibly delusionally - choose to interpret as fondness.

He shrugs off his suit jacket - holding eye contact the entire time (um. okay?) - and drapes it neatly on the coat rack by the door.

Now it’s just the crisp white shirt. No undershirt, from what you can tell (and you are, in fact, trying to tell), and that $200+ navy tie still perfectly knotted, deliberately untouched. A little too perfectly.

Over the sound of your rushed heartbeat and the crushing silence between you, something small clinks to the floor - a pen, slipping from the inner pocket of his grey jacket and landing just inches from your seat.

Before you can even flinch in the direction of helpfulness, he’s already bending to retrieve it - smooth, efficient, depriving you of the gallant honor of playing his humble page.

Which means you’re left with only one option: bear witness.

To the controlled, scoliosis-free descent of his seasoned federal spine. The unmistakable flex of triathlon-earned muscle beneath a white shirt that was absolutely not designed to contain this level of upper body storytelling.

Fabric straining. Shoulder seams threatening to revolt.

His tie swings forward as he leans down - a small, ridiculous pendulum momentarily distracting you from the sight of his thick fingers closing around what might be the daintiest pen ever engineered (literally just a standard BIC pen.)

His neck angles, and his long-ass nose dips perilously close to brushing your thigh.

You’re frozen. Outmatched. Possibly hallucinating.

Especially when his grey slacks pull taut over his thighs - shapely, is a word that unfortunately comes to mind - and for your sins, you’re treated to a clear silhouette of what can only be described as... the topography of his [REDACTED].

(Do not ogle. Do not ogle. You're not strong enough for this.)

And when he rises – slowly and cruelly moving at half speed - you’re left nose-to-crotch, with nothing in your cone of vision but the aggressively unholy outline of everything.

Only once he’s confirmed the sacred feng shui of his office has been restored does he glance at you - just once, just briefly - after the bend-and-snap that may or may not have triggered a pelvic floor event.

Then, and only then, he crosses the room. Sits across from you like nothing happened. Back straight. Hands folded. Brows slightly drawn.

(Okay. Now he looks scary again. Sort of. If you ignore the ghost of his dickprint still burned into your retinas.)

Well… shit.

“I’m sorry,” you both say at once.

You blink. He… doesn’t (not a surprise) - just stares at you, visibly thrown, like he can’t quite fathom what you could possibly have to apologize for.

“For-“ staring at your crotch “-sitting in your chair,” you offer quickly, just as he says, “For what happened the other day…” (Oh. So Mr. Thirty Seconds wants to talk about why he earned that title. Immediately. Bold.)

A smile tugs at his mouth. “It’s alright,” there’s something so gentle in his voice. Affection, perhaps. (You choose to interpret it as affection.)

“And about the other day… I owe you an apology for-” (creaming my khakis?) “-what I said. It was unwarranted. And unkind.”

Oh, right… that little moment (before the disaster) where he told you - flat-out - that your advances are the most obvious thing in the world, but you hide behind irony because real rejection would annihilate you. Or something along those lines.

(Not that you think about his exact words every night before falling asleep.)

And it’s definitely not because he only said all that while practically foaming at the mouth with jealousy over a guy he sent you on a date with. (One of his subordinates, no less… so-)

“I want you to know,” he continues, a stick up his ass, while reaching into the top drawer of his desk. He retrieves a leather case, unclasps it in full view, and pulls out - oh no. Wireframe glasses.

“-that none of what happened has impaired my judgment. My decision to help you with your landlord is entirely separate.” He slips the glasses onto the bridge of his nose, adjusts them with one finger then looks back up at you through the lenses.

You don’t say anything. Not because you’re speechless - okay, maybe a little - but because you’re busy… trying to decode his choice of words. Yes. That.

By “none of what happened.”

By “impaired.”

By “separate.”

Separate from what, exactly? His ethics? His self-control? His rapidly crumbling ability to pretend he hasn’t been mentally edging since the last time you touched?

Because let’s be honest - fuck the landlord. That’s just the excuse you both agreed to rehearse. Everyone knows it. He definitely knows it.

This is not about helping you deal with your landlord-

But helping himself deal with the fact that neither of you has stopped thinking about what it felt like to be pressed together, mouths reckless, hands worse, bodies one sigh away from a full-blown catastrophe.

Helping you? Please.

He’s trying to repress round two. You’re just here to speed up the inevitable.

“I’m… mortified about what occurred afterward. Between us.”

77777777777777777233332444444444444444>q6666666667

Re………………yhhhhhhhh______________________________________________________________________ [my cat typed this… honestly #same]

And he does, indeed, look mortified - at least in the very specific way he rolls his shirt cuffs back, one meticulous turn at a time. Slowly. Painstakingly.

Mathematically leads you to ponder for what practical reason could there possibly be for baring those veiny forearms except to flex them directly in your line of sight?

To let the dim overhead lighting graze over the glint of his Submariner Rolex. A glint you might call obnoxious - if it weren’t mostly swallowed by the amount of dense, fluffy arm hair he's somehow made look distinguished. (Is this supposed to intimidate you? Seduce you? Declare tax bracket superiority?)

“It’s fine,” you say.

It is, objectively, not fine.

Especially not when he leans forward to grab a stack of files from the desk, one inch from where your hand rests.

As if you wouldn’t notice the vein curling down from the bend of his elbow, branching toward the base of his palm.

As if you wouldn’t clock the faint dent where a wedding band once lived.

Or the black ink smudged across his palm, streaked through with the fading chaos of blue, pink, and yellow marker.

Or the two wonky little smiley faces on the pads of his index and middle finger. One of them has a moustache.

Or the way your brain short-circuits the moment he starts actually listening to your increasingly incoherent ramble about your landlord, because suddenly all you can focus on are his unnaturally natural Barbie-pink lips.

How they purse, ever so slightly, when he’s thinking. How he licks them - absently - like he’s preparing them for a sentence that never quite finds the courage to leave his mouth.

He adjusts his glasses.

Then slides them down to the very tip of his nose so he can look at you properly, directly, the full weight of his attention leveled just above the frames.

He nods slowly as he listens, scribbling notes in that looping, elegant cursive of his.

Repositions the glasses back up with one finger, clears his throat, and offers apologetically, “Forgive me. Just a moment.”

Hotch rises from his chair and steps toward the bookshelf, reaching his left arm across the full span. His back arches (beautifully, by the way), and the fabric of his shirt pulls tight across his shoulder blades.

The cuff at his elbow slips back, casually scandalous, revealing the sharp cut of his forearm, the tension blooming beneath his skin as he flexes (not unnecessarily, but undeniably) to grasp one specific legal tome teetering on the farthest edge of the shelf.

He could’ve taken one step to the left and saved himself the whole burlesque routine.

He hasn’t.

Peculiar.

Even more peculiar is the way he splits the tome open (you next), right at the middle, licks his thumb, and starts flipping through the pages.

When he finds what he’s looking for, he sets the book down between you, slides it forward, plants his finger firmly on the page - then recites the passage aloud, straight from memory.

Legalese, in his voice, sounds like poetry.

Not the kind you slap onto Facebook captions next to a blurry sunset-

The real kind.

Archaic.

Written by dead men for other dead men, and yet somehow still breathing when it leaves his mouth. It’s dense. Impenetrable. Sacred.

You don’t understand a single fucking word.

But he understands you, and that’s worse.

Because he sees exactly where your eyes land - on the way his finger holds the line, on the stark contrast between the neat, delicate typeface and the breadth of his fingertip.

Between the thin, trembling page and the solid weight of his hand. Between the line he's pointing to - and the one you desperately want him to cross.

So he pauses. Looks up. Smiles. Then translates it into plain English, even though you (both – hopefully) know that’s not the language your body’s speaking right now.

And still, he makes it sound simple.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxz A cx>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [My other cat insisted on joining too. Ermetic. He’s two months old and already knows how to write. I’m sending them both off to Yale. I fear their potential.]

So simple that everything he’s been saying - whether for five, fifteen, thirty minutes, an hour? - boils down to something similar to:

“Your landlord is the dumbest fuck on the face of the earth, yada yada *legalese*, yada yada. If he’s dumb enough to take this to trial, it’ll be the biggest mistake of his pathetic career, *legal jargon*. I know everyone in the justice system and the very few I don’t know are terrified of me, so even if you were in the wrong, you’d still come out on top - because I’m the hammer of God, and I’ve decided you’re worth protecting.”

Ah, the American justice system.

Broken, terrifying, occasionally kind to you if you’ve got a Hotchner in your corner.

Of course, he can’t just say any of that plainly.

Because Commander Creamsicle cannot speak on any subject without circling it three times, lacing it with a vocabulary that makes you question your grasp of the English language, and probably inventing two or three Latin words on the spot just to make sure you know he scored higher on the SAT than you.

And yet - after all that legal tap-dancing - he finally rounds it out with a good old-fashioned, glasses-tuck-accompanied:

“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that man pays the maximum penalty available to me under the law.”

And somehow… you actually feel calm. Safe.

Safe enough to stop being hypervigilant for once in your goddamn life - and as a reward, the universe punishes you by letting you miss the moment the room shifts. Something settles in the air between you - not quite tension, not quite relief. Something heavier.

Like finality.

Or closure.

Or maybe just the AC finally kicking in.

(Though, to be fair, the AC is doing its job a little too well.)

(It’s cold as fuck.)

(You can see his nipples through the shirt.)

(Sharp little distractions, twin North Stars peeking through cotton, stolen from the night sky and the firmament just outside the window, guiding absolutely none of your moral compass.)

You try – earnestly - to redirect your gaze, because objectification is bad and you’re not trying to be a fake feminist, but he’s making it impossible (those peaks have gravitational pull. [This is your excuse.])

The moment Hotch says your name, you realize-

yep, your eyes are very much locked on the constellations instead of the conversation.

“...What?” you blurt, very coolly, very calmly, in your most convincing display of composure. (Which is to say: absolutely none, given the way he chuckles immediately afterward.)

Then, without comment, he stands and moves to lean against the desk beside you, effortlessly invading your personal space like he owns both it and the federal building you’re sitting in.

“I asked if you want some coffee before you head home. It’s a long drive. I’d rather not risk you falling asleep at the wheel.”

It’s shockingly natural for him to sound so concernedly paternal.

(In a good way!! Like- concerned. Like- in a caring way. Instinctively protective.)

(You’ll return your feminism books to the library next week. You promise.)

It doesn’t help that, standing like this, he’s towering slightly - just enough that you’re forced to look up (at that perfectly filled-out A-cup shirt.)

“Um. Yeah. Why not,” you mumble, smiling. (Did he offer coffee just to flex his in-office espresso machine? Absolutely. Are you complaining? Absolutely not.)

After all, what could possibly go wrong with him playing sexy barista - busy hands and naked forearms flirting with domesticity as he wrestles an industrial-grade coffee pod into place?

(You’re not thinking about it. You’re definitely not imagining him doing this in sweatpants and nothing else.)

He turns, casually. Half a smile curling at his lips, steam rising from the cup in his hands. Ceramic meets tabletop.

You open your mouth to say thank you-

-but don’t make it that far.

Because you're already wrapped – caught - by the overwhelming heat of his hand, his calloused fingers brushing your jaw, guiding your face toward his.

Lips collide.

The kiss doesn’t even pretend to be romantic. It’s rushed. Hot. A little desperate. (And after being edged for hours by his whiplash professionalism, you’re not in the mood to make it sweet.)

Your hand, once politely resting on his shoulder, drifts down the broad plane of his chest- maybe lingering, maybe teasing, maybe giving his A-cup a curious little squeeze in silent appreciation.

(Not that either of you acknowledges it. Because, apparently, it’s still socially weird to worship a man’s body like that. Which is unfair. Because look at him.)

Then your fingers find the knot of his tie - and you yank him down, hard, into the gravity of where you’re still perched in the guest chair.

Apparently, he’s very into that. Because the next thing you know, he’s deepening the kiss - mouth fuller, hungrier, less controlled - just as something that’s unmistakably a whimper slips from his throat.

(A sound he tries [and fails] to bury in the kiss.)

His hands move fast - one guiding you up from the chair, the other slipping down to cup your ass, anchoring you against him. (Okay. Wow.)

And for some reason - a reason you definitely can’t name right now - you feel the urge to break the kiss.

Not because you want to.

Definitely not because you’re overwhelmed.

And absolutely not because you’re starting to feel something stupid - like the hot guy with huge hands just squeezed your ass, grazed your breast, kissed you like he genuinely gives a shit, and now you’re hearing the chime of direct-struck idiophones inside your skull.

No. It’s because (obviously) you’re just not built for this level of cardio. Unlike him, you haven’t spent your life training your lungs for high-speed chases, chronic emotional repression, and three recreational sports.

That’s clearly why. It has nothing to do with wanting to look at him.

Not to see the flush rising on his cheeks. Not to watch his lips part, kiss-drunk and panting.

Not to see his hazel eyes, darker now - wide and wrecked.

(Nope. This is about oxygen. 100%. Definitely not about the soft, terrifying thing blooming between your ribs.)

So you ask, “Is the door locked?”

Even though you already know it isn’t. But it’s something to say. Something to break the silence before it starts meaning more than it should.

“No,” he replies, then crashes back into you, pulling you in even closer than you already were. In fact, he manhandles you backward until your spine meets the door with a thud.

(Problem solved. The door’s now locked - courtesy of your combined body weight. A tactical solution. This is why he’s Unit Chief. Strategic. Efficient. Excellent under pressure. Fuck, he’s great.)

As a token of appreciation for his outstanding thinking skills, your hand abandons its usual post at his tie, sliding down, unapologetically, to cup the obvious situation straining against his slacks.

He exhales sharply at the contact, hips twitching forward but somehow still manages to keep it together. At least enough to start removing your most prized emotional support object (read: his tie) with that pesky, showy precision.

One inch from your face.

(Unit Chief by day, burlesque performer by instinct. Truly, a man of range.)

He stares straight at you as his fingers work the knot loose - you wish those fingers were working your waistband instead, but alas, budget cuts.

His gaze drops to your mouth as he slides the tie free, undoes exactly one button of his shirt and moves your very enthusiastic, very busy grabby hand off his crotch (rude).

(Was he about to come again? You may never know.)

Then he pins both your wrists above your head with one hand and leans in, mouth dragging down your neck.

You're not prepared for it.

You're really not prepared for how accurately this man is fulfilling every half-baked adult novel fantasy you've ever privately entertained on a walk home, in a waiting room, during a particularly boring grocery trip.

So much so that a breathy, involuntary cry slips from your lips before you can catch it.

He chuckles - fucking delighted - his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You need to keep quiet, or else we’ll both be in trouble,” then seals the warning with a kiss pressed exactly where his words just burned - and he’s back in front of you, eyes locked on yours. “Can you be quiet?”

(Hell no.)

“I hope so-”

Another smirk from him. And then you hope absolutely nothing the second his hand slides down, past your waistband, and straight into your underwear.

Because suddenly, it’s just him and his fingertips sinking into soaked heat like he already knew exactly where to go. (Basic human anatomy, sure. But still- impressive. For a man.)

He doesn’t even glance down. His eyes stay locked on yours, hungry through thick lashes, as one finger finds your clit-

(A man! A man locating and engaging with the clitoris! In this economy!)

-and starts circling with just the right pace.

No frantic button-mashing and hoping for the best. No guesswork. He knows exactly how to move. (Thank you to the ex-wife - smiling sweetly in that framed photo on the bookshelf behind his desk, posed between him and their son - who clearly put in the hours and trained this man like a goddamn service dog.)

And he keeps watching you. Watches the way your face scrunches. The way your lashes flutter. The way your lips part around a breath you forget to take.

Watches the little hitch in your chest, the twitch of your hips when they instinctively chase more friction.

Watches the exact moment you have to pull against his grip just to keep yourself from making a sound.

And he loves it. You don’t need him to say it. You can feel it. (And you can see it too - clear as day. The thick, unforgiving outline in his slacks doing absolutely nothing to hide how much he’s enjoying the show.)

“You’re soaking my hand, you know that?” he murmurs, deadpan brilliance.

(Okay, Sherlock. Edged for hours. No shit you’re wet as fuck. Totally unnecessary observation... and yet - please say it again. That was so hot.)

Then he gathers the wetness with lazy satisfaction, fingers dragging through the mess between your thighs without slipping in - just enough to make you feel it. To make you hear it. The slick sound of your own arousal echoes off the walls of a federal office.

(Shit.)

And only once his smug, unbothered, power-drunk ass is satiated - then - he slides one thick (-very thick. Like, three-times-the-bullshit-Bic-pen-he-uses-to-sign-federal-paperwork thick.

A full goddamn inch of “how the fuck is this just your finger” thick.) finger inside.

You’re so wet he barely has to try. It sinks in effortlessly, your walls fluttering helplessly like they can’t decide whether to pull him deeper or push him out just to miss the feeling and beg for it back.

And then he starts to move.

Each thrust is deep just enough to make your stomach clench with every slow grind of his fingers. Slow enough to make you ache for more, controlled enough to make you feel every second of it.

Every withdrawal is precise, angled so his finger drags right across your clit - just the right pressure, just the right speed. And every curl on the way back in finds that soft, swollen spot inside you like he’s memorized it.

Like he’s practiced this.

With you. (Of course.)

Dreamed it - maybe just as often as you have - idly, hungrily, while filing taxes or running out for just one pack of noodles, while he’s maybe on the next aisle buying some miserable all-natural, unsweetened, preservative-free cereal for his son.

(Hopefully his son wasn’t next to him while he had these thoughts.)

Just… everyday errands, haunted by the thought of this exact scenario:

Your cunt wrapped tight around his fingers. Your breath catching against his mouth. His hand working you exactly the way it’s working you now - expert, relentless - while his mouth drifts wherever it can reach: your neck, your collarbone, the hinge of your jaw.

He’s everywhere.

And you-

you’re dizzy.

Struggling to stay upright, to stay quiet, to stay even vaguely human as he drags you closer to- (calculus, you try, math, equations, something-) but all your brain can manage is: one finger = 1.7 of yours.

(...Almost two.)

(...holy fuck.)

Mr. Magic Ladyfingers apparently comes with built-in precognition, because just as your self-control teeters on the edge of total combustion - he cuts it off with a kiss.

Like it’s nothing. Like he’s your boyfriend. (He’s not. But it’s romantic. And you’ll take it. Fuck, you’d take all of him if he let you.) His mouth claims yours – overwhelmingly tender - right as he eases in a second finger.

“Shit,” you pant against his lips, because the stretch - fuck, the stretch is unreal, it burns in the best way, it’s so much-

“I know.” (You hate him. What kind of answer is that??) “Just keep quiet, I got you.” (And just like that, he’s got your daddy issues wrapped around his finger[s] too - congratulations, Agent Hotchner.) “Bite my shoulder if you need to.” (Okay. Better. Hot. You’ve been waiting for an excuse to do exactly that since the very first time you saw him. hallenge accepted.)

He pushes in deeper, faster - fucking into you with enough force and precision that your knees actually start to buckle.

Effortlessly, his free hand slides around your waist, pulling you in tight - anchoring you to his body, to the warm, steady press of his well-defined A-cups, holding you upright.

You’re so, so close. Clenching around his fingers with every pulse, every thrust, every curl that lights you up from the inside out.

“God,” (Hotch mentions God count: 1. You were starting to worry he’d forgotten to name-drop Him.) “I can feel you dripping down my hand,” he murmurs. “Shit - feel what you’re doing to me.”

So you do. You try - through the fog of overwhelming, fucked-out pleasure - to get your hand back down between you. Fumble your way to his crotch.

Shit.

It’s a miracle his pants haven’t burst at the seams. Or maybe it’s worse - because the second your thumb presses against the unmistakable wet patch, hot and damp through his slacks, you realize he’s already halfway gone.

Soaked in his own precome. Cock straining hard against the fabric, twitching under your palm -and the second you press into it, he falters.

And that’s what does it. That noise. That sharp, guttural, involuntary fuck of a sound he tries to swallow.

You snap.

You hate yourself for it - hate how the orgasm hits not with fireworks, but like a tide, pulling you under. It’s not cinematic, it’s inevitable - and it shatters you anyway. The way his fingers fill you, the pressure, the stretch, the filth of it - he’s just too fucking big, too fucking good, and you’re just… weak.

Weak for him.

A broken, half-annoyed “shit-” spills from your lips as you come, thighs shaking, forehead pressed to his shoulder.

But he doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t rush. He just slows his thrusts, dragging each one out - making you feel every twitch, every aftershock, every unbearable second of overstimulation that sends your body spasming around him again.

And again.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathes. “You’re- God, you’re gorgeous.” (Hotch mentions God count: 2)

You’re fluttering.

(And - poetically, of course - so are your walls.) It’s ridiculous.

It’s absurd. This should be just fingering. Just an impulsive fingering in a federal office. Just you, post-orgasm, wrecked, barely upright, trying not to collapse against a goddamn filing cabinet that probably holds national security secrets.

But it’s not. Not even close.

Because somehow, he’s still there.

Not rebuttoning his shirt in a panic. Not fumbling for a tissue or retreating behind polite avoidance. Not slipping his tie back on like this was a temporary lapse in judgment to be buried under paperwork.

He stays. Still holding you. Still watching you like you haven’t just ruined something. Like he hasn’t.

And now… what? Do you just grab his jaw and kiss him like it means something? Or like it doesn’t?

Do you say thank you? (God, no - except maybe you will, because you’ve never been touched like that in your life and he deserves something, doesn’t he?)

Do you keep holding his gaze like this while he looks at you like you’re not a mistake? Like you’re not just a late-night regret he’ll shove into a drawer and lock up tomorrow morning?

Do you lean in again? Just to see what he does? Do you run? Do you crack a joke? Do you cry?

Or do you say nothing and wait for him to break first?

You could ask him to stay. Or ask what happens next. Or - God forbid - ask if he felt it too. If he feels it now.

His eyes are saying something, but they’re hard to trust - too soft, too open. They might as well be lying.

“Are you okay?” he asks and unknowingly deepens the dangerous sense of emotional attachment you’ve somehow managed to form around his fingers. You nod - half-hearted, dazed - and he takes it as enough.

He excuses himself, opens a drawer, and returns with a packet of wet wipes. Then - giddily, somehow, like he’s just remembered something sweet - offers, “Jack’s been drawing a lot lately. I usually show up here with crayon masterpieces all over my hands.”

(A cute story. Definitely real. Also, definitely told to clarify that the wipes aren’t… y’know… for this kind of thing. That he doesn’t do this. Here. Ever. Not that you’re together or anything, but still. The accidental monogamy of it makes you feel safe.

Special.

God, you’re disgusting.)

He checks his watch, sighs. “Oh. It’s getting late. I should… I should be getting back.” (Never mind.) “Let me walk you to your car. Or - down to the lobby, at least.”

Add a little awkward “Oh, no, don’t worry - I mean… yeah. Okay. Sure.”

And suddenly you’re just… standing there. Beside him. Watching the mighty prince reassemble himself like a Victorian widow preparing to re-enter society.

He starts with the tie, of course - God forbid he be seen in the wild without one. (Scandalous. The Unit Chief with his throat exposed. Think of the headlines.)

“Sorry to keep you,” he murmurs, as he loops the knot into place. Straightens his collar. Apologizes again. Grabs his suit jacket and slides some folders into his briefcase. Apologizes a third time.

You focus on the rhythm of your steps as you walk beside him, trying to block out every small, gallant thing he does - each one a little more lethal than the last. You know you’d fall blind, stupid, hopelessly in love (With. A. Cop.) if you gave yourself even a second to think.

He even presses the elevator button for you. Lets you step in first. And then-

Doors close.

Just you. Just him. Six floors to the lobby. Five square feet of sealed-off space.

“We’ll be down in about thirty seconds,” he reassures you.

Thirty seconds. What couldn't you do in thirty seconds? (Make out against the mirrored wall. Drop to your knees. Get your hand down his slacks again just to check if the wet spot’s still there-)

…Oh.

Right.

There’s a camera.

Never mind.

SORRYYYY SORRYYYYY

taglist: @beata1108 ; @c-losur3 ; @donttrustlove ; @fangirlunknown ; @goorgeousz ; @hayleym1234 ; @ignoreeeeeee ; @justyourusualash ; @khxna ; @kiwriteswords ; @kyrathekiller ; @littlemisskavities ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mmmunson ; @msfreedom ; @mxblobby ; @nikt-wazny-y ; @oxforce ; @percysley ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @purechaosss ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softtdaisy ; @softestqueeen ; @thatkidofwarandpeace ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24 ; @who-needs-to-sleep

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #criminal minds #aaron hotchner imagine #hotch x reader #aaron hotch x reader #joe mama x reader #my cats x reader #fleabag!reader #ladyfingers in my mouth noww!!!

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fawnspotholiday · 26 days ago

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Noelle as the Second Hero & Susie as the Last Girl: Assuaging Your Doubts

It first comes with acknowledging that we do not see the prophecy in order. Mostly, we do not know the order of the entire prophecy at all, but it is logical to assume the description of the heros goes together.

BUT LO, ON HOPES AND DREAMS THEY SEND. THREE HEROS AT THE WORLD'S END. THE FIRST HERO. THE CAGE, WITH HUMAN SOUL AND PARTS! THE SECOND HERO. THE GIRL, WITH HOPE CROSSED ON HER HEART. THE THIRD HERO. THE PRINCE, ALONE IN THE DEEPEST DARK

There are only three heros and they are described consecutively. Some think this is the order in which they are meant to be introduced to us, but there is nothing to suggest that. It is simply describing the three heros.

The Last Girl, and Why It's Susie

The prophecy of the "last girl" is unrelated to the heros, it is simply a coincidence that Susie sees it before she sees the second hero prophecy. We don't know where this is meant to go in the prophecy and are seeing it out of context. However, we can be certain it is referring to Susie.

As it is clearly meant to be her "rude buster" symbol. And if you still have doubts and think it could be an ACT symbol, datamining reveals it is titled rude buster in the game code.

Whatever role Susie is meant to play we can be sure that she wasn't intended as a hero as this prophecy doesn't fit within the hero one - it doesn't make any sense to describe the first hero, say last was the girl, describe the girl as the second hero, then describe the third hero. Susie was meant for a different role.

The Identity of the Second Hero

Truthfully, there's no super solid evidence that it is Noelle so far - but I feel she is likely the best bet. Due to her being a girl, the most important of the side characters and the only one we've entered battles with, her importance in the snowgrave route, how the snowgrave route shows that she is extremely powerful, her mothers suspicious involvement with Kris and the dark worlds, and that she can equip ribbons like the girl was meant to according to Ralsei along with swords like in the image - two things Susie cannot or will not equip.

Many think the image doesn't look like Noelle, imo it looks more like Noelle than Susie:

There are many ways to interpret it, this is just mine. It gets seen as a side profile often, but the way the heart is drawn slightly in perspective in the LOVE prophecy makes me feel it is more meant to be a 3/4ths view. The lack of antlers could easily be explained by Noelle having the hood of her dark world dress up. An alternative idea is her antlers shedding at some point, which is natural for reindeer. The shape behind her is often interpreted as hair - but I think it goes out at an odd angle, imo it could suggest wings which Noelle once wore and may become part of her design again.

It feels a bit like reaching I know, but these images were meant to be vague and misleading. In reality the identity of all the heros are vague and indistinct, the only thing we can be certain of is Susie's identity as the Last Girl due to the use of Rude Buster.

Additionally, the images on these prophecies may not be intended to be 1:1 accurate but more symbolic - shown by Tenna's which depicts him cut in half, which didn't actually happen though he was still "cleaved".

I've seen some conclude that this indicates the prophecy has already been changed, but since the characters don't react to it or consider it a big deal we should infer that the images are seen as symbolic (outside of the jokes). Since Tenna either dies or you are meant to give him to Proto-Mettaton, I don't think he will be relevant later to be cut in half, either.

Common doubts:

Why doesn't Ralsei know? - It's plenty possible Ralsei is as susceptible to misinterpretation as we are. After all, he is plainly interpreting "LOVE" as romantic love when we all know it may mean something else.

How does Ralsei know Susie's name? - This goes into theories about who/what Ralsei is. Ralsei may have had familiarity with Susie from being an object Kris carries around. Kris may have simply told him - we know that Ralsei is aware of us and speaks to Kris while we're distracted. So it is safe to assume when we met Ralsei for the first time that was not Kris meeting Ralsei for the first time - especially when we save over Kris's file upon entering the game. And really, can we even be sure that Ralsei is who he says he is anyway? None of the members of the Fun Gang could be the originally intended heros for all we know.

What about Gerson? - Gerson believes Susie is meant to be a hero in the story, but I think he is simply taking it at face value like we are. He is simply a Lightner brought back to life, so I don't think he is privy to any special information. He says Susie wields the weapon of hope which seemingly matches the second girl's description, but he is also adamant that Susie should disregard the prophecy entirely. I think the theme of hope matching is simply intentionally misleading. Noelle is also a character defined by hope; the hope to heal her father, and to reunite with her Sister.

The Only Reason This Could Be Wrong

It's not a fair scientific paper if I don't offer possible counter evidence right...?

I would say the only possible way it's incorrect that Susie is not a hero is if the "last girl" part of the prophecy is meant to refer to her in a part of the story that we didn't see other than that one excerpt. Like if it is describing a battle of the heros, and saying the girl came in last to save the day or something.

Why I think this isn't the case

Storytelling-wise, we are intentionally given the prophecy out of order, and intentionally thrown that part to initially not think too hard about but then question later because it does not match up with the consecutive order the heros are described in. This along with Susie feeling special to be called a hero because she was never chosen for anything, and Ralsei commenting that she was meant to wear ribbons, I think was meant to make us pause a bit upon reflection. While Susie is already disappointed in the prophecy because of the ending, it's all the more tragic if her feeling that being picked felt unbelievable is correct. Ralsei also brings up that Susie is meant to wear the ribbons after being asked about Noelle.

Susie: ...then, uh, anything about Noelle...? Ralsei: Umm... Ralsei: I know which items of ours she can equip? Ralsei: Then again, YOU'RE supposed to equip Ribbons...

And, lastly, I feel Gerson's hint is the best - that Susie is The Dragon in the story, not a hero. Since we know the ending is something tragic, the dragon fighting against the heros to prevent it may seem more noble than the heros. Susie has already declared her intent to never let the ending happen.

What this means for the story

I actually don't think this will ever be plot relevant exactly. As in, I don't think the characters will ever stop and say "Are we acting out the prophecy? Did we mix the heros up?" - in fact, the mix up seems integral to them acting it out unknowingly. It feels more that it is something for the audience to realize to add to the suspense and tragedy - Susie is already on a collision course with Kris simply due to Kris secretly working with the Knight and keeping it from her.

By the end, we may see the Fun Gang completely fractured.

#too tired to proofread this now i will later haha #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune theory #deltarune prophecy #the prophecy #noelle holiday #susie deltarune #kris dreemurr #ralsei deltarune #ralsei

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writeonwhiskey · 1 month ago

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act like you love me: ch 7 (18+) MDNI

a/n: this is coming out at this random hour because i forgot to send out the snippet on the mailing list again and i feel bad 😔 enjoy! word count: 4,780 tracklist: love untold, railway (i've once again placed in the chapter where these songs were most impactful while writing if you wanna feel that vibe out) [ fic master list ]

7 - The Scene After the Scene

WEEK 6 (continued)

Getting through that rehearsal took all the thoughts and prayers. It was a constant barrage of physical contact with Hyunjin after three days of being apart. Granted, that’s not a lot of time, when you think about it, but you haven’t gone more than a day without seeing him since you started filming.

You didn’t expect to miss him. You didn’t expect to leave set wanting more.

But you did. And you still do.

A few weeks ago, you couldn’t have fathomed feeling remotely fond about that man, let alone yearning to be near him. But in the time that has passed, you’ve seen and learned so much that opposes your initial assumptions of him. His gentle, compassionate side has been on display more frequently and that, combined with all that continues to shift between you—since dinner, since the club, since the camping trip—is threatening to undo your professionalism.

It’s a continuously growing revelation.

The biggest takeaway from today, though, is that Chan approved of the choreographed scene. He sat and listened to the suggestions you and Hyunjin had come up with for the filming style, too. You’re beyond thankful to Chan for being willing to work with you, and to Hyunjin for helping you voice your concerns, addressing them, and eagerly working to make it something you’re comfortable with having on screen.

After you wrapped for the day, you were tempted to hang around in your trailer until Hyunjin finished but figured it would be best not to.

However, since coming back to your hotel room, all you’ve thought about is the potential repercussions of pursuing something physical with Hyunjin. But with the way that rehearsal went down, you also considered how good it might feel when the layers of clothing are finally removed.

You close your eyes, sinking into the couch as you imagine the feeling of his hands touching every part of your body, his lips trailing kisses down your stomach and your pussy quivers at the thought. You bite your bottom lip, hand creeping toward the waistband of your pajama bottoms.

You have to be professional at work. But when you’re home alone…

Your phone suddenly buzzes next to you, and you startle, heart pounding as if you’ve been caught. Your eyes widen, reading the name on the screen: Persistent Prince ��.

Why right now?

Is this a sign?

Or maybe an omen?

You contemplate letting it go to voicemail, but you’re too curious and too hopeful right now. You clear your throat, press the answer button and put the phone to your ear.

“Do you bother all your co-workers this much?” you ask dryly, as if you weren’t just about to diddle your fucking bean to thoughts of him.

“No. Just you.” He replies and your heart smiles. “So, you’re up?”

“Clearly.”

“You busy?” he asks, ignoring your sarcasm.

Although you’ve always spoken to each other this way, it doesn’t have the same weight of pettiness and bickering as it once did.

You quirk a brow. “Why?”

“Meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes.”

“What if I’m busy?”

“If you were you wouldn’t have answered. Unless…” he trails off.

“Unless…?”

“You’ve been waiting for my call.” You can practically hear the smile in his voice. “See you in thirty.”

He hangs up, giving you no time to accept or decline.

You could disregard the invite and stay cooped up in your room for the night. In fact, that’s probably the best choice.

But you’re already standing from the couch, forsaking that logical little voice in the back of your mind. You head straight to the bedroom, puzzled about what to wear. He didn’t mention a dress code. Jeans and a t-shirt? Or something sexier? He did seem to like your outfit at the club a lot.

No. The least you can do is not tip this in that direction by wearing anything too thought-provoking. You’re just going to hangout. That’s it. Jeans and a t-shirt it is.

Thirty minutes later you’re standing in the lobby of the hotel, looking around nervously for fear that Minho or Han might see you. But you remind yourself that you hang out with them all the time.

This wouldn’t seem any different...

Hyunjin emerges from the other elevator moments after you. He’s clad in dark clothing, a hat pulled low and covering far too much of his features. He gestures towards the exit, and you walk out together.

“Where are we going?” you ask as Changbin takes off.

“You’ll see when we get there,” he replies.

You hide your smile. A surprise?

“What made you call out of the blue?” you ask.

“We didn’t have a lot of time together on set today.”

You can’t be sure, but it feels like an ‘I missed you’ is hidden in there somewhere.

You missed him, too.

When you arrive to the destination, Hyunjin gets out first and holds the door open.

“Thank you, Changbin,” you say on the way out.

“I’ll text you when we’re done.” Hyunjin says, leaning in the car to speak to Changbin.

“I’m going to bed. It’s a thirty-minute walk back. You’ll be fine.” Changbin replies.

Hyunjin huffs, shaking his head as he closes the door. “It’s hard to find good help these days.”

You nudge him playfully with your shoulder.

“An illusion museum?” you ask, reading the sign above the entrance.

Hyunjin grins. “Thought we could use a night of fun.”

[song: love untold]

Inside, the place is quiet—almost closing time—which means you have most of it to yourselves. The first room is a giant mirrored maze, and you’re both immediately separated, laughter echoing off the glass as you keep running into your own reflections.

“You good?” Hyunjin calls.

“No,” you say between laughs. “I’m fucking nauseous—there’s too many of us.”

Eventually, you find him again—his face breaking into a relieved smile. And for a second you just stand there, facing each other. Reflections of the two of you ripple across every surface, warped and multiplied. It’s a perfect representation for the situation you’re in—endless possibilities and outcomes.

He reaches out and your hands meet against the mirror first, to which you both chuckle. Then he finds the real you and laces his fingers through yours to pull you close.

“There you are.” He places a quick peck to your lips.

You bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling too widely.

“Next room,” you suggest, pulling away.

In the upside-down kitchen, Hyunjin jumps into character, pretending to stir invisible soup from the ceiling, and insists on snapping photos with the worst angles imaginable.

“You’re going to regret these,” you warn. But as you scroll back through them, he’s perfectly photogenic in every single one, regardless of the angle. “Your face is so unfair.”

“You can thank my mother.”

“Not your dad?”

“Maybe for my humor,” he shrugs.

At the forced perspective wall, you pretend to be a towering giant while he crouches small in the corner. “This is kinda how you make me feel on set,” he teases. “Tiny.”

You continue throughout the other rooms, your bodies like magnets. You drift apart for a while when exploring and taking pictures but come back to each other’s side right after. He holds your hand a few more times, steals a few more kisses. And after a while you stop acting like it annoys you.

When you’ve gone through all the exhibits, he thanks the employee for letting you stick around after closing and you exit.

“Convenience store run?” he suggests when you’re outside.

You hesitate. This would be a good time to call it a night. That would be the wise and responsible choice. But you did just have fun with him, doing something completely normal and nothing like the NC-17, perhaps XXX, content that’s been plaguing your mind.

And yet, you don’t feel like you’ve had enough time with him.

You still want more.

“Yeah,” you reply, smiling.

You walk in the direction of the hotel and stop at the first convenience store. The inside is fluorescent and freezing. You each grab a green basket at the entrance and start down the aisles like it’s a timed competition. Hyunjin tosses in triangle kimbaps, banana milks, and a pack of shrimp chips without hesitation. You, more thoughtfully, grab ramyeon, a bar of dark chocolate, and two bottles of water.

You both come to a stop at the wall filled with a wide array of gummy snacks.

“You’re going for sweet and spicy,” he observes, peeking into your basket. “Classic.”

“You’re going for chaos,” you reply, eyeing the random snack combo he’s put together. “Is this your usual dinner?”

He shrugs. “Tonight’s my last cheat night. I’ll be hitting the gym every day now until the shirtless scene.”

You gulp.

Hyunjin shirtless is the last thing you should be picturing about right now.

Your eyes travel to his chest of their own accord, but you quickly avert your attention to the gummies on the shelf and grab a peach pack.

You don’t even like that flavor.

“Do you want to make the ramyeon here and eat outside?” you ask.

“Is there another option?”

“We could go back to the hotel…” you trail off, letting the offer linger in the air.

“To our separate rooms?” he tilts his head to the side.

“Depends if you know how to cook without burning down the place,” you tease. “…but we could go to my room.”

“You okay with that?”

You shrug. You’ve done well keeping yourself in check so far. You can handle this.

Maybe.

He pays for your haul and you resume the twenty-minute walk back to the hotel. It’s mostly a silent trek, and you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking. He knows this is a bad idea too, doesn’t he?

On the elevator ride up, you’re racking your brain for the state you left it in. You’ve made a conscious effort to keep it relatively clean and if anything is out of place, he doesn’t comment on it when you enter.

You advise him to sit at the table while you take the bags into the kitchen, but he doesn’t listen. He’s at your side, opening cabinets and drawers, taking out cooking utensils and seasonings.

“Please, you’re a guest.”

“Fine.” He says, after taking out a pair of bowls and setting them next to the stove.

“Get comfortable—you can take off your disguise,” you tell him.

He pushes off his hood and removes his hat before sitting on one of the barstools across from where you’re prepping.

Your hotel smells like garlic within minutes. You’re stirring a pot of noodles, vaguely aware of Hyunjin looking more at you than the food.

“You actually know what you’re doing,” he says.

“Shocking, I know.” You toss him a playful look over your shoulder. “I feed myself like a grown-up.”

“You’re ruining my image of you.”

“And what was that?”

He grins. “Someone who survives entirely off iced americanos and anxiety.”

You snort, putting the noodles into the bowls and sliding one in front of him. “You’ve got me mixed up with Han.

“That’s actually pretty accurate,” he laughs, picking up his chopsticks to take a bite. He blows on the noodles before slurping them up. The look on his face giving away just how hot they are. “This is really good,” he manages to get out.

“You sound surprised…again.”

“I am surprised. You’re hiding all these domestic skills.”

“Guess we’re both full of secrets.”

The clink of chopsticks against ceramic takes over for a moment as you both eat.

“I like this,” he says eventually.

“What?”

“Hanging out with you.”

There’s that openness again—the thing that sneaks up on you when he stops trying to be amusing, or charming, or anything else.

You opt not to respond verbally, nodding your head instead.

He offers you the last bite of his triangle kimbap, and you shake your head, but he leans forward anyway, holding it out.

You sigh at the weight of this gesture. You can deny your feelings all you want, but he doesn’t seem to have any intention of doing the same. You take the offered bite from his hand.

When you’ve both finished eating, Hyunjin insists on washing the dishes, not accepting your rebuttal that he’s a guest. So, you sit sideways on the couch and watch him work, making small talk. He tells you he has a few more projects coming up after this to finish out the rest of the year and won’t have a real break until December. You finally tell him about your conversation with Chan.

“KBS?” he repeats. “No shit?”

You nod.

“Are you going to do it?”

“My agent thinks I should. But I don’t know if it’s the right career move…”

He’s silent for a moment as he continues scrubbing at the dishes.

“Do you want my input?”

You don’t know when it was that you came to rely on his guidance, but you’ve stopped questioning what he tells you career-wise as anything other than helpful. He always seems to put you first, more so even than your agency.

“Please.”

“I think you should take it. Chan’s right about that—it’s a great opportunity. It will be good publicity for our show, but it also gives the general public a chance to fall in love with you,” he says, and your brain gets stuck on how those last four words sound falling from his lips. “All it takes is one high ranking exec’s teenage kid to start blabbering about how great you are, and they’ll be calling you up with more work.”

He dries his hands and comes to sit on the couch, his right thigh just near your feet.

“You think so?”

“I know so. I understand what you’re up against, but you’re really kind of amazing and I don’t think you see that the way everyone else does.”

“Situations like that interview tend have a longer lasting impression than anything positive,” you say.

“Fuck that guy.” He repeats his sentiments from a few days ago. “It’s easy to let the negativity cling to you in this industry. You can’t let it.”

You nod.

He glances around the room before turning to you with a smirk. “Alright, you’ve seen my art, my hidden passion. Where’s yours?”

“I don’t have a penthouse suite, so I packed light,” you tell him.

“Pity,” he clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

You smack him on the arm.

“There’s gotta be something you come home to unwind to.”

“I really didn’t bring anything,” you shrug. “I do have a Lego collection of landmarks from around the world at home. My dad is in the army, and he’d get me one of every place he was stationed, and I’ve just kept up with it on my own.”

“That’s nerdy. But cute.”

“Don’t make me hurt you, Hyunjin.”

He smirks. “I could be into that.”

You offer a small chuckle to brush it off.

He lifts your legs from beside him and drapes them across his lap, his hands resting on top. He doesn’t touch you beyond that, doesn’t bring you closer. He just looks—at your face, your mouth, your eyes—and suddenly, it’s quieter than it should be.

You speak first, wanting to lighten the air. “Do you always stare at people like this?”

“Only when I’m trying not to do something stupid,” he murmurs.

You swallow, looking down at his hands, unsure whether you should pull your legs away, or move yourself closer.

“Tell me not to,” he says. “And I won’t.”

You must stay silent for too long. Because without warning, his hands grab your hips, sliding you toward him until the back of your thighs are pressed against him. Your pulse quickens at the sudden movement—the closeness.

You look up, meeting his gaze. “We shouldn’t.”

His eyes drop to your mouth again, lingering there for a moment.

“Is that a no?”

You know you shouldn’t. He knows you shouldn’t. And yet, you shake your head anyways, and he leans in slowly, giving you time to move or change your mind.

But you don’t.

When his lips meet yours, it’s gentle at first. His body is tense, like he’s still holding back. But when you wrap your arms around his neck, hands caressing his head, you feel the change in him. He really kisses you then. No hesitation. His mouth claims yours, tongue slipping between your lips like he owns you already.

You’re both aching with everything unspoken—the stolen glances, the unfinished thoughts, the pent-up energy and tension from filming and rehearsing. But you can’t shake how good it feels to be connected to him like this. And you still want more.

You break the kiss, resting your forehead against his as you both catch your breath. You pull away, leaning back until you’re lying flat on the couch. You keep your eyes on him, grabbing his shirt to pull him closer. He readjusts you, then himself before settling on top of you, fitting between your legs as if he belongs there.

He kisses you again and when you arch your back, pressing your chest into him, his hands snap to your sides like he needs to hold you still or he’ll lose control.

“Take it easy,” he warns against your lips.

Was he intending only to kiss? Perhaps that would be okay…

But the heat between your thighs says that it’s not.

So, you nip at his bottom lip and rock your hips up, slow and purposeful. He groans as a small gasp escapes you, feeling the pressure of his cock through his jeans, right where you need it.

He drags his mouth down to your jaw, then lower. His teeth graze your skin, and you tilt your head to give him more access. You slip your fingers beneath his shirt, nails lightly gliding across bare skin. He shivers.

He leans back just enough to look at you, cheeks flushed.

“What about thinking? And not letting the moment get the best of you?”

You never thought you’d curse a man for actually remembering the things you say.

[song: railway]

“This doesn’t feel like just a moment,” you softly admit. “And…I want to.”

You roll your hips again. This time he grabs them tight, grinding down into you with a low groan.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Maybe just this once?” you try to roll your hips again but his grip on you is too tight.

“To get it out of our system?”

“And then back to professional?”

Neither of you answer a single question asked.

Then, his hands leave your hips and in seconds, his shirt is gone.

You stare. His torso is lean and defined—not gym obsessed perfection, but real. Beautiful. His eyes scan your face as he reaches for your shirt. You sit up a little and raise your arms.

Your bra comes off next. You unhook it yourself, letting the straps fall, feeling shy as his gaze roves over you like he’s never seen tits before. He covers you, bodies flush now, every inch of you ignited. His mouth crashes against yours, hungrier, rougher.

Your heart is fluttering and racing all at once. It’s overwhelming, how much you want him—how long you’ve been trying not to. And he’s kissing you like he needs this just as badly as you do.

You’re both too far gone now.

He groans when your hand slips beneath the waistband of his jeans. You cup his cock over his briefs and squeeze gently.

“Take your pants off,” you whisper.

He lets out a sharp breath and sits up, shoving his jeans down, boxers still on but strained against his cock. You push your jeans down, too, kicking them out of the way.

He stays upright on the couch, pulling you into his lap this time, your thighs straddling his. His fingers skim your waist, dragging fire along your skin. His gaze drops between your legs.

“Red tonight, huh?” he comments, to which you chuckle.

He kisses your breasts, alternating between taking one in his mouth and circling his thumb around the other, gentle at first, then firmer when your hips grind against him. The little fabric still separating you is such a fucking tease, but the added friction feels good.

“Fuck, y/n,” he groans.

You grind your hips again.

“It shouldn’t feel this good, right?”

“It really fucking shouldn’t.” He agrees, leaning back on the couch to just watch you please yourself.

All you can focus on is the way rubbing your pussy on his cock feels and the way he’s looking at you like you’re something sacred and sinful all at once.

He reaches down, his finger slipping between the thin material of your underwear to pull them to the side, leaving nothing between your clit and his boxers.

“Look how fucking wet you are already,” he says, as you start moaning.

But you don’t need to look. You can feel it. You can hear it.

And you want his boxers out of the way too, now. You still need more. You grind harder, locking your fingers behind his neck.

He pulls you to him, kissing a path up your chest, then your throat, nipping lightly beneath your jaw.

“Hold on to me.”

He grabs your hips suddenly and lifts you. You lock your legs around his waist, lacing his neck and shoulders with kisses as he walks down the hall to the bedroom.

This. This is what you envisioned when rehearsing.

It felt wrong to imagine it then.

But it doesn’t feel wrong right now.

The only light entering the bedroom is what drifts in from the window.

He lightly tosses you onto the bed and you move back to make room for him. You expect him to lie on top of you again, but he has other plans. He lays down flat on the bed, one hand slips up and over your thigh to grip it. With the other, he strokes a finger up and down your pussy, over your underwear, teasing you.

“Hyunjin—just take them off.”

“You want to feel my fingers on your pussy, jagiya?”

Fuck. Double fuck. Those words.

You nod, your hips circling against his finger. Your clit is pounding—begging for more.

“So fucking wet,” he murmurs.

“Hyunjin,” you plead. “Please.”

He smirks up at you before pulling your underwear to the side, planting his mouth right where you want it.

You moan, your head falls to the side, eyes shut. You were half-expecting delicate, teasing licks but his tongue is relentless, sliding up and down, lapping you up. He draws out every sound, every buck of your hips.

When the pleasure threatens to unravel you, your fingers clutch at his shoulders, desperate to bring him back to you. He finally relents, rising to his knees with a heated look in his eyes. With one hand, he slides your underwear down your legs, tossing them aside, then pushes his boxers down to free his cock.

You let out a low exhale, licking your lips at the sight. He’s thicker than you imagined—not too girthy—and already glistening at the tip, making your thighs instinctively part wider.

He shifts closer, settling between your thighs, his cock hovering just above your dripping pussy. His fingers wrap around the base, and he drags the tip slowly up and down your slit, teasing you again with every pass until he pauses at your entrance, his gaze flicking up to meet yours—like he’s asking one last time if you’re sure.

You give a subtle nod. “Come here,” you whisper, hands reaching for him.

But he just smirks, shaking his head. “I have to see your face.”

You’re spread open beneath him, vulnerable and aching.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he murmurs, and you feel the shift as his hips begin to slowly press forward.

He sinks deeper, inch by inch, and your mind begins to blur.

Finally.

“It’s perfect,” you breathe.

“Like a glove?” his grin is wicked.

You swat his chest. “I can’t stand you.”

Your laugh is cut short by a sharp gasp as he sinks into you fully.

This is what your body’s been screaming for in every moment you spent pretending you didn’t want him. You feel stretched, filled, split open in the best way.

You both groan.

He moves slowly at first, unhurried. You match his rhythm, legs locked around his waist, hips tilting upward, fingers roaming his chest—memorizing the way he feels above you, inside you.

He lowers his forehead to yours, your breaths mingling.

And really does feel perfect.

He presses a kiss to your lips before pulling back, hands gripping your thighs as he starts to thrust deeper, harder. Each stroke feels like he’s letting go of something he’s been holding on to for far too long. And maybe you are too.

“You feel so fucking good, y/n,” he declares, slowing his pace just enough to make you whine. Every slow push deeper knocks the air from your lungs; every draw back has you chasing for more. “So. Fucking. Good.”

He emphasizes each word with a thrust of his hips.

“Hyunnie,” you moan.

He chuckles softly at that, his hands sliding back to your legs to unhook them from his waist. He pulls out just enough to flip you onto your side, curling himself behind you. His arm slips beneath your head, cradling you close as he pushes back inside. You gasp at the new angle—the way it lets him reach deeper, the way his chest is pressed to your back, lips brushing against your ear.

“You like when I fuck you?” he whispers.

You nod, unable to form words.

“You thought about this when we were rehearsing too, didn’t you?”

You arch into him, threading your fingers through his on the mattress as he fucks you, unrelenting now.

“My cock in your pussy—tell me how much you wanted it.” His other hand slides to your breast, gripping, kneading the soft flesh.

“So fucking bad,” you admit, breath hitching.

“Me too. I wanted to know how tight you’d feel around my cock. How wet you’d be for me.”

His voice is far too close. Saying far too many filthy things. The sound of skin slapping skin is joined by his ragged exhales and your whispered pleas—to fuck you harder, to make you come.

“You going to come for me?”

“Yes,” you whimper, thrusting back against him.

His hand leaves your breast to curl tightly around your waist, holding you right where he wants you.

“You’re mine now, jagi,” he says, voice low.

You cry out at the possessive growl in his tone.

“Hyunjin—I—I’m—”

“Let go,” he breathes. “With me. I got you.”

And you do—tumbling right over the edge, turning your face into the mattress to hide your cry. He follows soon after, groaning against your shoulder as he fills you.

And then…silence.

Except for your breaths. His chest still pressed to your back. His hand still tangled with yours.

It doesn’t feel real.

Not just the way he fucked you—like he couldn’t help himself, like he needed it—but the way he’s still holding you now.

Your heart pounds in your chest, and not just from the high you’re still coming down from. But because this wasn’t supposed to happen. Not with him. Not like this.

But now that it has, you can’t bring yourself to regret it.

“Fuck, I should have grabbed a towel,” you say, breaking the silence.

You feel the moment he starts to stir, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder, and you hear the smile in his voice when he speaks. “We could shower.”

“We’ll mess up the sheets. I don’t want to explain that to the maid.”

“It’s fine.” He shifts slightly behind you. “We can make it to the bathroom like this.”

You snort, turning your head. “You’re not seriously trying to walk like this.”

“Why not?” He grins, wrapping his arm tighter around your waist. “Teamwork.”

It’s ridiculous. And yet, you let him guide you to the edge of the bed, both of you moving in clumsy tandem, still connected, stifling giggles like teenagers.

You’re bent forward, hands braced against the wall as you inch your way toward the bathroom and he’s behind you, smug and unbothered.

By the time you reach the bathroom, you’re both breathless from laughing, from the afterglow, from everything.

Somehow, it really is perfect. And so much more than a moment that got the best of you.

a/n: FUCKING FINALLY. i hope it was worth the wait 😊 i swear the scenes where i was listening to love untold would play out as the cutest music video ever. a fun date at a museum? convenience store run? ending with them taking the elevator up, and fading to black when they enter the hotel room. do you see the vision?? and if you hit play when railway is mentioned, the beat drops in right around when he's taking his shirt off, depending on reading speed of course. its *chefs kiss* and then the undressing bits would play out kinda slowed down ahhhhh! sorry that's the filmmaker in me blabbering, i love picturing how scenes would play out as a movie/show/video etc. anyways lol, i'm going to try doing a tagging list again. please comment here or on the master list for this fic if you'd like to be added. i tweaked some settings, so hoping tumblr stops maxing me out at five people??? ready to kms over ts (jk, im just dramatic, pls) tagging those that have been commenting faithfully, so don't even ask, you're already on it my loves.

@hwangjoanna / @hanniesbubuwife / @straycat420 / @tsunderelino / @dessianna1 / @akindaflora / @tirena1 / @krayzieestay / @ehstay

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stagefoureddiediaz · 4 months ago

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So I am feeling insane about all the yellow and blue around Eddie in El Paso and so I am making it everyone else’s problem by writing a meta on the stills - it will be a bit of speculation based on my colour theory knowledge and the previous costuming of the show, but I always enjoy writing these and then seeing how close I was when we have full context - so I hope you all enjoy! Also - I got carried away and went on a deep dive so this is ridiculously long!! 😬

Firstly though we need to talk about his hair and the return to the helmet hair of yesteryear Eddie - the loss of the floppy floopy bit that broke free as Eddie danced around his living room and was front and centre as Eddie turned to look back at buck - gone - swept up into place with gel - this is El Paso Eddie - the army Eddie - the Eddie at war - protecting his head with a helmet in the form of his hair. It’s all about reverting Eddie and about protection and conformity and trying to fit his parents expectations. This is Eddie under siege and preparing to be under the same attack as before. Its not quite as rigid as we saw it in the begins scenes, there is still some softness to it - giving us a hint that Eddie is not that same person he was back then, and that he’s not got things quite as fixed down as he had before, but we likely won’t see a hair fall over his forehead unless he’s in a less fraught scene (video call with Buck maybe) or until he has dealt with Shannon’s ghost, Chris’s trauma, his own trauma and his parents (mom) fully. Only then can he be his true self and let his hair be free!

I obviously am screaming about the fact we have Eddie in a yellow toned shirt - it’s yellow ochre, brown and cream check and it’s being very loud! The check pattern is very clearly telling us that things are not going to to go well for Eddie in this scene - and in El Paso more widely based on the fact we see him in check pattern more than once in the stills - the blue check shirt also playing into the theme of change and that change not being easy. Check on out mains is usually ultimately a good thing - it’s about getting them off the path they are on and onto a new one - correcting a wrong course etc. So here to have Eddie in check and yellow (or blue) check at that is pretty much telling me that this is the show getting Eddie on the right path - that he’s been on the wrong one but now he is on the right one for him.

I’ve written extensively about how yellow and blue coding has been used by film and television since colour film and tv has been a thing - and how it became a thing due to the wizard of Oz - I’ve also written extensively about that film and 911 and about Eddie and the significance of yellow and him and also about the importance of Buck and blue - all these metas can be found linked on my pinned post if you want to give them a read!

But what is the colour meaning of yellow I hear you cry - well it has many meanings and it all depends on the shade of yellow we’re talking about - the shade and tone of any colour determines some of its meaning. Every colour can be warm or cool toned and can be bright or dull, rich or pale and all of those factors have connotations attached to them. The warmer brighter and or richer the colour the more positive meaning it tends to have (there are some exceptions such as a very bright green which is generally viewed as toxic or poisonous and has negative connotations attached to it despite sitting in the bright rich and warm toned spectrum!)

Yellow is a colour of communication, cheerfulness, it is connected to the logical part of the brain and is therefore a symbol of intellect, clarity, and perception. However it can also mean anxiety, sickness, fear and cowardice as well as impulsiveness and caution.

The scene in the Diaz kitchen is full of yellow - its everywhere and the lighting is yellow toned (at the cooler end of the yellow lighting spectrum) but the biggest thing is the walls being this pale yellow. Paler more pastel yellows are associated with the negative traits of yellow more than the positive ones - so malaise and sickness, anxiety, and cowardice. The fact the room is yellow and blue is one of the most interesting things to me as someone who was going on about the fact the kitchen was yellow and red back in season 5 when Eddie had that conversation with his dad.

As you can see in the two pictures below, the walls were a darker more ochre toned yellow with both a darker brown toned red (the cabinets) and a brighter red (the curtains). This is a real contrast to the paler yellow and the blue we now have in the Diaz kitchen and it all goes to prove that Both Ramon and Helena are meant to represent aspects of Eddie - Ramon Eddies heart and Helena Eddies head or mind.

Because Ramon is a physical representation of Eddie heart - so the red accents make complete sense for that scene. It’s a play on the heart - and the use of two different shades of red - one concentrated around Ramon and one around Eddie is all about playing on the concept of health v not healthy (we actually see the same thing in the previous scene in this kitchen - when Eddie arrives - Ramon is in front of the darker rend and the lighting is darker while Eddie is more brightly lit and the brighter red is around him) The darker more brownish toned red is around Ramon - a symbol of poor health - of deoxygenated blood - which has a browner colouring and its also the colour of drying blood. This is a play on time - missing out on things and on Ramon representing the old way of thinking for Eddie - basically a symbol that his upbringing was not a healthy one.

Whilst all the red around Eddie is much brighter and vibrant - blood full of oxygen is brighter red and where the brown toned red is symbolically closer to death the brighter red is more energetic and suggestive of life. The set design is literally playing on the theming around hearts and heart health that we saw connected to Eddie all season. It is helping to tell us that Eddies way is the right way for the future, especially as it is combined with the green foliage print on that red background - green being a symbol of growth, while the yellow walls are more positive toned because it is a richer brighter colour - indeed it actually is pretty much the same shade of yellow as Eddies yellow shirt - the one from the lasagne scene and the confessional scene (both of which come later - but that makes them all the more interesting!) that is Eddies shade of yellow and it is the first time we really see Eddie surrounded in some way by that particular shade of yellow. Along with the yellow cup sitting between Ramon and Eddie, it is just further proof for the yellow and Eddie theory and that it is not only a symbol of his underlying queerness, but of his truest self - at its healthiest.

He is able to forgive Ramon and move forward - vowing to be a better person - not for Chris, but for himself - that is huge growth for Eddie at that point in his arc so that yellow being there is key - the fact it follows through and transfers onto him at the stat of season 6 is indicative of that growth and embracing of self having stuck. The fact we then see it go backwards as s6 progresses (especially after Bucks death and resurrection but that is a meta for another day!) leading us into season 7’s insane events before we get the reappearance of the yellow (the same shirt) as Eddie tries to recapture that self growth - so that he can reach a point of being able to work through things with Chris - which is where we have reached now - Eddies still wearing the darker yellow - suggesting that growth is still there and part of who he is, but the paler yellow he is surrounded by now is indicative of the work he needs to do outside of himself

It is also worth noting the blue table runner that sits between Eddie and Ramon in this scene as well - because Ramon never touches the blue - but Eddie does

So to have the kitchen go from this darker, stronger more positive yellow to now become this pale and sickly yellow when we’re about to have Eddie dealing with Helena - who is a representation of Eddies mind - is very telling. We are playing on the idea that Eddies mental health is not great right now and that is what he needs to fix. The other thing to note about this yellow is that it is the same colour as the exterior of the Diaz house - as we saw in the begins episode mostly but also briefly in the background of the retirement party in 517 - its all playing into a permeating malaise engulfing Eddie - its always in his background - its always been lurking and hasn’t been confronted. So yes it’s yellow and that’s a good thing. But it’s a bit like the darker - navy- blues we kept seeing on Buck (and still do to a certain extent) when he’s following his colour but in the wrong direction compared with the lighter brighter blue when he’s on the right path.

The fact it is the kitchen - the heart of the home - is what makes the use of yellow and blue in combination espeically key here, because for me the yellow is likely going to be playing into the idea of cowardice on multiple fronts - that Eddie is not yet able to confront what he needs to, that Chris is not in a place where he is prepared to have the actual conversation he needs to have with his dad, that Helena and probably Ramon will be too cowardly to Suport Eddie and his needs - to recognise their own failings and mistreatment of Eddie in this situation. Whilst also calling back to the overall family trait of running away when faced with a situation you don’t like or know how to handle maturely (Chris gets some grace here as he is still a child and has learned a behaviour from his family!).

But we also have the blue is framing the windows (and being present in a lot of other places but its the curtains that are the most obvious blue in the scene) - windows are symbolic in and of themselves - they are connected with transition and perspective or obstruction and also as a source of illumination and we’ve seen the show using glass and windows (or even peep holes) to great effect - using glass as a barrier but also something that can be crossed and as a way of gaining perspective. The windows here are shrouded, but they let in a lot of light - they are illuminating - and therefore this scene is likely to be an illuminating one - most likely into the struggles that lie ahead for Eddie. But all the windows also suggest that he is entering a period of transition. The fact those things are surrounded by blue - a calming colour associated with honesty and commitment, security and protection, trust loyalty and support. It is also a conservative colour and can tend towards passiveness and avoiding confrontation.

In combination with the check that Eddie is wearing, I’m expecting this scene to end on a tense note and with Eddie not actively doing anything to resolve his issues - it feels very much like its the set up for Eddies arc and nothing close to a resolution in any form - its going to be about showing the audience all the things Eddie has to resolve before LA is a possibility again.

As for his shirt - its yellow ochre - along with the brighter toned shades of yellow it trends much more towards the positive end of the yellow spectrum - so the communication and logic, clarity and intellect and cheerfulness. In combination with the brown - which is one of the colours the show is using as an overarching theme this season - its telling us that Eddie is attempting to create stability and an new foundation from which to build his future. Brown is a colour of stability, foundations, enrichment, reliability, wisdom, support and honesty. It can also be seen a dull or boring as well as conservative, loneliness and isolation.

All things that apply to Eddie right now - the stability and foundation meaning comes from the earth being brown and it being where seeds are planted - bringing about new growth (but not actually being growth) - which is exactly what Eddie is trying to do in El Paso - he also thinks Chris has stability in El Paso and that has left him feeling isolated and alone. The other thing with this shirt (and the later blue one) is that this is very much the Eddie of old - this shirt and style - just go look at any of the Eddie flashback scenes - especially in Eddie begins and you will see a series of shirts just like it. Eddie does not wear check patterning all that often - we see it popping up from time to time in season 2, but then not again until we hit Eddie begins when we see lots of it - and then it disappears again until we get the blue and black check patterned shirt when he calls Marisol at the end of season 6. So basically its symbolic of his El Paso existence - its decreasing appearances throughout season 2 as Eddie adjusts and settles into LA shows that change and growth in him from the Eddie of El Paso we get to meet in Eddie begins who is wearing so much check and has his hair in this same style. The check is all but gone from his life - until he calls Marisol - when it reappears and proves that that is Eddie acting on old expectations - connected to El Paso - and therefore his parents expectations for him. So this yellow and brown shirt is all about signalling that Eddie is reverting back to who he was - whilst being on a new path and that he will be somewhat isolated in this scene, that his return to El Paso is about starting again - building from the foundation up, but that he is doing so by forcing himself back into the skin he wore before he moved to LA.

Ok on to the other things I have spotted in this scene firstly lets go back to the blue because it extends far beyond the curtains! Blue is Bucks colour and it’s always around Eddie - far more than any other character in the scene. There is the blue curtains I’ve already talked about, but there is also blue placemats and the dish towel Eddie is holding is blue striped. A lot of the little touches are blue - like the tiles above the sink or the background of the heart art above the door and the various blue jars we can see.

Amazon box still

Even the tape on the amazon box is blue coloured - and it’s teal/aqua when we see the other amazon product placement boxes (see the car sales still!) which suggests they deliberately chose the blue in this scene to help with the blue theming. Eddie is not the only one constantly surrounded by blue, but he is more than any other character in that scene from what we can tell from these stills, but he is the only one constantly in contact with something blue (that isn’t their clothing - not counting jeans or dresses etc here) - the amazon box, the dish towel, and the fact that the napkins are blue and Eddie is the only one with one on his lap (it swaps legs but this show doesn’t know continuity!!) the fun thing about that napkin is that with the yellow shirt it gives us a fun parallel to Buck (yes I am probably clowning a bit here, but go with me!)

Because my guess is this is the first scene we’re going to see Eddie with Chris, Helena and Ramon in together since Chris left at the end of 710 - when Buck was wearing yellow ochre trousers and a navy blue top. Who is now wearing a yellow ochre top and has something navy in his lap?? Yes - we have a reverse colouring going on here. This is Eddie having Buck close even in his absence - all the blue is a list Buck to a certain extent, but this napkin especially - its hidden - not that visible to the others, but Eddie has a touchstone with Buck through that napkin - it is the Eddie equivalent of Buck saying Eddies name 500 times in the last episode - and Buck is probably not going to get much of a mention here if at all in this scene - but we still have him present in some way through colour coding. The fact that its hidden under the table - its all about the suggestion that Eddie may end up feeling alone at that table, but he isn’t - Buck is there for him - not physically present, but always having his back even from 800 miles away - its also a play on the yellow/blue queer coding and the fact that Eddies feelings for Buck are currently hidden - but that fact we the audience can see that blue napkin is a low key nod to that fact that those feelings are there - along with the Buck watch being very visible and a connection to LA and the life he has given up.

Ok last thing from this scene is Helena being in fuchsia - have to admit when I saw her in that colour in these stills I laughed out loud becasue the colour fuchsia has some very specific colour meanings attached to is and they perfectly sum up Helena Diaz! It’s a colour of certainty, confidence, and strong beliefs, self willed and arrogant, controlling, manipulative, and opinionated. It does also have connections to nurture and maternal instincts.

So it is a colour that really helps to tell us who Helena Diaz is and what her motives are - especially in this scene, where we are likely to see much of that come into play - we see her seated on both sides of the table, and even though we have zero context right now, in the image below it is clear that her focus is on Chris and the hand on his shoulder feels more controlling - the fact that in these stills she is either always looking at Chris (even when Eddie is looking at her) or in contact with him physically and the only time we see her looking at Eddie is when he is on the other side of the room and his back is to he - making it clear where her maternal instincts lie.

Onto Chris and his very interesting colour coding in these stills. Chris does wear a fair amount of grey across the seasons of 911, but there are usually in t-shirt form and bearing a brightly coloured logo - which is always connected into Eddie or Chris’s arc in some way for the season and the bright colours of those means the grey is really there as a neutral background. But now we have him in that neutral grey - but with a black logo - its all much more washed out and muted than we’ve seen Chris in before now - and it carries on the theme we’ve seen in the video chats where his colours have been muted and washed out (and lots of that El Paso check!!)

The black logo, which is on his back rather than the front is the face of a big cat - a panther/puma most likely. Now there are several potential meanings to the use of this black cat/panther. There is a very famous tale by Edgar Allen Poe called ‘The black cat’ which is an allegory for self justification and the black cat is the prism through which the narrator explores the twisting of reality to fit the narrative one wants it to be. Its an exploration of Jungian psychology - which interestingly was heavily focused on the concept of repression - of ones self, personality and instincts - which when this repression of self builds up it is likely to explode in a destructive way (tell me this doesn’t;t sound like Eddies s7 arc I dare you!!) more generally black cats or panthers symbolise power, darkness, death and rebirth and resilience in many cultures. This suggests those are elements we will be seeing in Eddie and Chris’s arc. The concept of the death of their previous relationship with the rebirth of a new one, the play on Shannon’s death creating darkness in their family unit - which still persists - and the ultimate rebirth as a new family unit (also including Buck down the line!) and it also suggests the death and rebirth of the Diaz family more widely - so including Helena and Ramon. The resilience is also a key thing here - both for Chris and Eddie - they are both displaying that trait and it feels likely that it will continue to be one we see as a key part of their arc.

The neutrality of the grey is unemotional and detached and this plays into the idea of being closed off - of Chris being unavailable to Eddie at this point in time - emotionally and communicatively . It is also a pessimistic and indecisive colour which is also in keeping with the likely story arc we’re going to get and are two meanings that do speak to teenage behaviours and feelings. I think it’s a fascinating colour choice to grey Chris out and potentially make the scene more about Eddie, Helena and Ramon - with Chris present but not the thing we should be focused on in the scene.

This muting of Chris’s clothing is also on display in the stills on the veranda - and this costume is such a mini Eddie costume that it speaks volumes. The colour way is all Eddie - we have the brown trousers - which are check patterned, we have a cream tee (which has a logo of some sort on but I can’t see what it is from these stills!) and a hoodie jacket that is stitched in a denim jacket style but is a heavy weight jersey knit fabric and in a khaki green which is very much in Eddies colour wheel! The fact he is in muted colours that are straight out of the Eddie Diaz colour book and the fact he is also playing chess - its all about paralleling Eddie himself. Eddie has worn this type of green both as a piece of colour coding denoting his military past, but also as a sign that he’s at war with himself in some way - its most obvious display of this was his breakdown scene and his subsequent battle with his depression. Therefore this costume is reflective of him being like Eddie - it’s speaking of underlying unhappiness (and trauma), but it is also a play on running away - as his parents both did. Eddie is the stronger parallel for the obvious reason that he is the main character here not Shannon - plus the fact that Eddie went to war - making the addition of the game of chess a key part of the narrative and connection to Eddie. Chess is a game of war and strategy is suggestive of Chris being at war (the battle is internal) - which is caused by his trauma - but its also indicative that he has only been getting support on that front from Ramon - the act of him teaching Chris chess is a play on the idea of him teaching him coping strategies. It is placing Ramon in a much better position than Helena - at least Ramon is trying to help Chris - something established back in 8a and the only one we’ve been shown/ told is doing something with Chris that is an attempt to help him. Helena has just been shown posturing and talking a big talk (putting in a swimming pool) but none of that has been about Chris in reality.

The entire scene is intriguingly set up - in part because it appears to be at Eddies new house - his fixer upper - with its peeling green trim and doors and general run down appearance. We also see Eddie in a dark maroon/brown shirt - with no watch in sight - which is very telling to me at least - I’m undecided as to if its mean to indicate the lack of time, or if its absent because this scene will really start to dig into past Eddie and the relationship he has with his mom especially and therefore there is no need to play on time - we’ll find out when we see the episode. The maroon/ brown is yet more brown to add to the season colour theme, but its maroon undertones really fits it into the parental maroon colour theme the show uses with most characters, but especially with Eddie - the fact it is so brown toned is playing along similar lines to the reds in the kitchen from 517 - and that’s pushing me towards thinking that this scene will be doing something of the exploring Eddie being parentified by Helena (and Ramon) when he was a child himself that this is about fixing or starting to fix that part of things rather than it being centred on Chris. That it is about Eddie going back to the beginning to be able to correct and repair his present and future.

Helena is in a floral shirt and white and this pale blue that does have a slightly lavender undertone to it. Shes very much in contrast to Eddie here - her colours are cold and closed off and she sits in start contrast to all the colours around her - Eddies brownish maroon is in the same total pallette as the background - the house, the furniture and the wall hanging, even Chris and Ramon sit withing that colour pallette as well. But Helena - like her fuchsia cardigan from the previous stills, stands out from her surroundings. The blue being a cold tone makes it conservative and impersonal and also predictable, but the fact that it makes her stand out is the key here - its sets things up as her being the focus of the scene - both visually and most likely narratively. What these stills from both this scene and the kitchen one are doing is showing us that they are scenes focused on the Helena of it all - the major thing Eddie truly needs to deal with early on and that’s what is making me excited for this episode and these scenes. The visual framing is all set up ready to go - now we await the other aspects of a scene to reveal more!

Blue check Eddie with is yellow ochre toned binder and the yellow and blue colouring we can see - the cabinet, the flag in the background and the blue chair. It’s giving me calling Marisol shirt vibes from 618 and that’s intriguing to me considering that she turned out to be a former nun - the entire still is giving me either church or church school vibes, but it could also be a fire station and there is a character called assistant chief Jamie De La Cruz - so its entirely possible that it is some form of fire department building - it feels like its going to end up being a not great outcome for Eddie - along with the check pattern helping out on that front - if that’s not being offered a job or being offered one that is going to diminish him in some way who knows, but its not a positive looking set up on the visuals front!

Car lot still my beloved! There is literally soooo much in this one still for me to talk about - all the yellow and blue around Eddie is incredibly loud - literally everywhere - from the stickers on the the car windscreen behind him being predominately yellow and blue, to the light blue wall behind the chainlink fence and rthe blue cladding trim on the building to the left, you can include the yellow and blue bunting if you want to, but there is also pink red and green there so I’m not discounting it, but putting it much lower down in its relevance. And there is the fact that in the refelections in the Denali we can see lots of yellow and blue which I’m sure we’ll see more of in the actual scene. We seem to get a huge amount of yellow and blue colour coding around Eddie at locations connected to cars - especially this season with ‘No place like home’ giving us Eddie at Weston’s Dad’s motor shop with all its very very loud yellow and blue theming in an episode heavily colour themed with yellow and blue.

The fact that link to yellow and blue and cars exists in connection with Eddie and that it is also tied into parents and their children (because 504 also played on that same theme) is interesting to me (and not just because it is also tied into Hen’s arc - the main queer character on the show - and her parenting journey) because the fact this scene seems to be Eddie selling the Denali - a car heavily connected to Shannon and Eddies struggles with his grief ( as well as to Buck - in his bright blue fraying shirt jacket - and his own struggles with the grief of Eddie leaving) - i want to wait until I’ve seen the scene in full, but right now this scene is a really important one in terms of queer Eddie - not necessarily explicitly so, but very definitely in the subtext because this is Eddie letting go of his grief and therefore letting go of Shannon. But it also does one other thing - the play on the car name - Denali - with denial - its also a symbol of denial no longer being an option going forwards - for Eddie, or for Buck (the only other person we have seen in this truck).

And then we get to Eddies outfit in this still. Have I ever mentioned how much I love the wardrobe team - especially when they a repeat an outfit? And have I ever told you how much I love it when that outfit is repeated for a third or even 4th time? Because yes this is in fact the the 4th time we are seeing Eddie in this costume of a western style pearl popper button up denim shirt with dark olive khaki trousers and brown shoes!! Yes that’s s right - the 4th time!

Time no.1 - Abuela’s hospital room at the end of 204 we see Eddie by her bed as Carla brings Chris in to see Abuela - having started working for Eddie - after Buck introduces them. We don;t get to see much of the trousers in the scene, but you can see from this screenshot that the dark olive khaki trousers are there.

Time no. 2 - in Eddie begins we see Eddie fight with his parents and talk on the porch with Chris when they decide to move to LA - It’s also worth pointing out here that the yellow is the same as the yellow in the Diaz kitchen in the new stills. Same pants, trousers, white undershirt, slightly different but still brown boots and the same hand in the pocket vibe!

Time no. 3 - really hard to get a screen shot of this one because we don’t really see the pants and shirt together much, but you can see the pants in the below screen grab and take my word for it that its the same shirt - or rewatch the scene if you’re so inclind. This scene is the ‘welcome back to the land of the living Buck’ scene from 701

There are a few significant things at play here. Most of the scenes when we see Eddie wearing denim are connected to family in some way - Abuela, Shannon, and Buck, and the Diaz parents. Eddie doesn’t wear denim shirts all that much in the grand scheme of the show and that makes their use and particularly the use of a repeat outfit in this way particularlyy important. This outfit is essentially a symbol of being o the right track - on the right path, its s heavily connected to the idea of breaking free or moving forwards in some way. Carla is now there to help Eddie (thanks to Buck) so Eddie is able to fully settle into his LA life and is no longer at risk of proving his parents right - it’s freedom from El Paso and shows that LA is the right path for him - that accepting Bucks help and support is the right path as well.

The fight with Helena and Ramon and the subsequent conversation with Chris is about moving and escaping a situation that is holding you back, Eddie making that choice to move to LA and to not listen to his parents - again it is him on the right path.

The same can be said of the locker room scene with Buck. Buck was being held back by his death, but so too was Eddie. Death had changed their relationship (graveyard scene) and Buck dumping Natalia because all she talked about was death ultimately sets not only Buck free from his death, but Eddie free as well - they can both start living again - and ultimately what this scene is doing is resetting the Buck and Eddie of it all and putting them both on the right path - its about setting buddie in motion which is the longer term right path rather than a more immediate pay off right path (its also a symbolic nod to buddie being free of network restrictions and being allowed to happen with the move to abc).

So having Eddie wearing an outfit that is a symbol of breaking free and setting himself on the right path as he sells the car is likely about him finally breaking free of his grief and anger around Shannon and her death. Its about him finally being able to let her go so both he and she can move on (and Chris as well because Eddie clinging to her ghost has stopped him from grieving properly and has caused him trauma). I’m not saying this scene magically does all of that - just that it is the marker point for Eddie and sets him on his path to healing and moving on and in a more low key way is setting Eddie fully on his path to his feelings realisation that will be the culmination of his letting go of Shannon arc. It is a key indicator of Eddie’s story arc over this episode of the next couple of episodes.

Just to further add credence to this costuming choice. We do see this shirt pop up in season 4 - when Eddie introduces Ana to Chris as his girlfriend - the difference here is that the trousers are light tan rather than the dark olive green - it is an indicator that this path is not the right one - its not the entirely wrong path - as it is technically him trying to move on from Shannon, but its not the right path because he is doing it for Chris and not for himself - trying to provide that mother figure he thinks Chris needs.

And just to get even more unhinged about it we have the boating lake scene with Kim - which is a reverse of the repeat costume - the colours are right - we have the olive green and the dark denim, but its the western style popper button up shirt that is green with the dark denim jeans - its not the right way around and Eddie has got turned about and has taken the wrong path. That his pursuit of a woman who looks like his dead wife is not the way to go about dealing with your grief that you have failed to deal with up to this point. The colours are correct - suggesting that in the same way the wrong colours meant the wrong path for Ana - a minor setback in that instance, that this too is the wrong path - but that its one that will set him back much further!

I”m going to stop writing now - I have gone on far far longer than was my intent and I ended up on several side quests I did not expect to end up on - worthwhile ones as I got to deep dive into Eddies repeat outfit a bit more as well as explore the muting of Christopher and that he’s becoming a mini Eddie visually and really get into the colours of the Diaz kitchen - so all worth it im my book - hopefully you enjoyed it and found it interesting and worthwhile as well - let me know your thoughts in the tags and comments and as always thanks for taking the time to read my very long rambles. I can’t wait to see how it all ends up playing out in the episode!

Tagged people below!

@lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @fruityfirehose @wanderingwomanwondering @livingwherethesidewalkends @buddiediaz118 @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @satvojihusana @elvensorceress @icebergeddie @buckleyanddiaz @eddiedisasterdiaz @kejfeblintz @cookie-kat777 @leothil @bucksbelly @kyoteugly @bi-moonlight @somebodycall911onabc @trudayss @chaosandwolves @lemotmo @buckleyanddiaz

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maxdibert · 6 months ago

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Sorry, but I don't buy the narrative that Helly is really Helena. I mean, what sense would it make for Helly to reveal who she really is? It seems logical that she would be completely reluctant to tell her colleagues that she is actually the heir to the company putting them through this hell and that, thanks to her outie, they are in that situation. It seems like it's already hard enough for her to accept it, let alone talk about it as casually as Mark talks about his outie life. I mean, really, Mark experiences the least traumatic moments regarding this, compared to the other three. His outie's mystery is directly tied to returning to severance, while the others have everything unresolved outside: Helly is the company's heir, Irving has been confronted with an emotionally devastating reality, and Dylan has a fully established life outside where his outie is married with kids. While the other three look outside because there are unresolved issues there, Mark looks inside because Casey is supposedly dead outside, meaning the answers surrounding that mystery lie within.

To me, Helly's attitude is completely coherent. Let’s not forget that Helly is still Helena, and Helena is still Helly. They may have gone their separate ways, but the origin is the same, the genetic character is the same, the sum of their variants and codes is the same, only cognitively they have developed differently. But the character, the primary drive, is inherent to development. Helena makes it clear to Helly that she is not a person, that she is just a substitute, an experiment, that she has no control. After knowing the truth, Helly decides to take control. If Helena controls from the outside, Helly will control from the inside, hence her saying they owe nothing to the outies and basically establishing sides. It’s the same thing Helena does, but because Helena and Helly are simply two sides of the same coin reflecting each other because they are literally the same person, just a "what if" each in a different position: Helena in power and Helly subjugated.

I mean, the plot of Helena infiltrating and pretending to be Helly seems interesting to me too, but I don't see it as clearly. I need more evidence of this because, honestly, no alarms went off for me in the first episode since Helly’s attitude didn’t seem strange to me at all. I don’t know. I could be wrong, I’m not ruling it out, eh.

#severance #severance series #severance season 2 #severance spoilers #helly r #helena eagan #mark s #mark scout #irving b #irving bailiff #dylan g #dylan george

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maryychill · 20 days ago

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Digimon Adventure 02: a complete, nostalgia free review

Originally posted on Reddit.

I decided to practice what I preach and watch 02 with no expectations or wounds from the past.

⚠️ Disclaimer: This review is long and goes deep. So if you don't have interest, feel free to scroll past. Also, if you're someone who loves 02 from a place of deep nostalgia and fondness, this review probably isn't for you. It's not my intention to tarnish beautiful memories, just to organize my thoughts and share my opinion.

02 is a series that takes the universe of Adventure and remixes it with a new generation of chosen children, new rules and a completely different tone.

Where does 02 begin?

3 years have passed since the original chosen children returned from the digital world. Peace seemed to have been achieved but a new threat looms.

The digital world is being invaded by Dark Towers that block digivolutions. A mysterious kid, self proclaimed as the Digimon Kaiser, has enslaved digimon using Dark Rings, preventing them from thinking or acting on their own. These towers and rings were powered by the black "D-3" he wields, distorting the rules of the digital world and generating chaos. The original chosen children can't easily enter the digital world as there are no open portals under this new distortion.

That's when new digivices (D-3) appear, selecting 3 new kids: Daisuke, Miyako and Iori. Through a digital gate at their school, they manage to enter the digital world, where they receive Digimentals that allow them to activate Armor Digivolution, an alternative form of evolution that doesn't rely on traditional levels.

Takeru and Hikari, who attend the same school as the new chosen, also join the mission, bringing their prior experience and strong bond with Patamon and Tailmon. Thus forms the new team tasked with facing the Digimon Kaiser.

Digimentals and Crests

In Adventure, the Crests acted as emotional catalysts that enabled digimon to reach the Perfect level when their human partners recognized and embodied a core virtue. It was an inner journey, confronting the shadow, discovering the virtue and letting the bond with their digimon grow.

In 02, this logic is referenced more loosely. The Digimentals seem thematically linked to the old Crests, though their connection is never clearly defined. They no longer act as rewards for revealed virtues. Instead, they appear as symbolic fragments, echoing the emotional legacy of the original chosen children. For example, the Digimental of Friendship could be seen as carrying a trace of Yamato’s legacy.

The first Digimentals appear in the early episodes without much mystery. Daisuke picks up the Digimental of Courage the moment he arrives in the digital world (though that rushing in to help Taichi without knowing anything about the digital world, does require courage). Shortly after, Miyako and Iori receive those of Love and Knowledge without any significant emotional catalyst. Later on, Takeru and Hikari find the Digimentals of Hope and Light, which are directly tied to their original Crests.

In episode 27, Koushiro explains that after defeating the Dark Masters and Apocalymon the original chosen children were summoned back to the digital world to help restore it. According to him, they used the power of their Crests to release a sealed force that protected the digital world, an act that consumed that power and left their digimon unable to evolve to Perfect form again.

Based on that, I believe that the Digimentals, though ancient artifacts that already existed, were reawakened by the journey left by the original chosen children. Their virtues, struggles and the symbolic power infused into their Crests might have resonated through the digital world, aligning the Digimentals with the emotional legacy of the previous generation. Still, Digimentals could be seen as ancient tools that absorbed and reflected the emotional codes of those chosen who came before and this would explain their echo-like nature in 02.

In episode 37, Qinglongmon (one of the Four Holy Beasts who protect the Digital World’s balance) expands on this by confirming that he and the other Holy Beasts had been sealed by the Dark Masters and that, although the chosen defeated them, the seal wasn't broken until the Crests were used (as Koushiro said in episode 27). When the Dark Towers began to distort evolution and threaten the digital world's balance, Qinglongmon said they decided to use the power of ancient lost evolutions (Armor Evolutions) to counter the threat. They created new Digivices (the D-3s) and assigned Digimentals to new children.

Qinglongmon also clarifies that the presence of the Terminal allowed the new children to access more than one Digimental, which wasn't initially anticipated. The first three Digimentals (Courage, Love, Knowledge) were sent to initiate Armor Evolutions, while the subsequent ones (Friendship, Reliability, Purity) were given later as responses to unfolding situations, implying that their distribution was driven by need, not random chance.

Qinglongmon highlights that the Digimentals of Light and Hope are fundamentally different from the others. While Courage, Love and Knowledge represent powers of the human heart, Light and Hope are described as essential forces that sustain the digital world itself. They are not just virtues but foundational energies, Hope that never fades even in darkness and Light that breathes life into the digital world.

This opens the door to interpreting the later Digimentals not as rewards for virtues already mastered but as emotional tools granted during periods of crisis or internal contradiction. The characters receive them not because they embody the corresponding quality but because they are confronting its absence:

Daisuke receives Friendship while feeling unworthy of it.

Iori gets Reliability right after lying.

Miyako, overwhelmed by her impulsiveness, receives Purity after hurting others with her words.

Here, the Digimentals might act more like emotional mirrors or invitations to growth, rather than confirmations of achievement. They don't say “You made it”, they say “Look what you're missing”. However, that potential is left mostly undeveloped. The anime doesn't follow up on these emotional tensions. Unlike the Crests in Adventure, there is no real emotional evolution. The Digimentals function more like keys than like journeys.

Ken's case breaks the pattern entirely. His Digimental of Kindness doesn't come as a reward or inheritance. He embodies it and offers it as a symbol of redemption. It isn't an evolution tool but a healing act. His gesture closes a cycle of pain and seals the spiritual conflict he himself opened as the Digimon Kaiser.

The Digimentals feel like relics from an older system that have been repurposed. Their reactivation seems to reinforce an important idea: the digital world remembers, adapts and responds to the emotional imprints left behind by those who enter it.

What is a D-3?

The D-3 is a next gen Digivice created to reestablish the connection between the real and digital worlds. It allows for Armor and Jogress Evolutions, opening portals and transferring data between both worlds. Its name comes from Digimon, Detect & Discover.

Years before 02, Ken Ichijouji witnesses the appearance of a Digivice in front of him and his brother Osamu, who was seen as a genius by the family while Ken remained in the shadows. The Digivice reacts to Ken, not Osamu but Osamu grabs it, claiming it as his and denying Ken any chance to shine.

After Osamu's sudden death, a broken Ken receives a mysterious email. Driven by his pain and need to finally be someone, he follows the instructions and ends up in the Dark Ocean. There, submerged in that corrupted and symbolic dimension, he drops the Digivice into the dark waters, transforming it into the first D-3 (a black one).

That act not only alters the device but also marks Ken's spiritual fracture, giving birth to the Digimon Kaiser, an identity forged from pain, guilt and a distorted purpose.

In response to this rift, Qinglongmon intervenes, creating the other D-3s and Digimentals, giving them to new chosen children with the mission of restoring balance.

The 02's conflict

The conflict begins with the Digimon Kaiser, who enslaved digimon using Dark Rings, blocked evolutions through Dark Towers, distorted the digital world's balance and even created an artificial digimon: Chimeramon. Although he eventually regained his humanity, defeated and broken by Wormmon's sacrifice, the damage had already been done. His downfall left behind corrupted structures that others quickly adopted, escalating the chaos and pushing the story into a spiral of threats.

Then Archnemon and Mummymon appear, inheriting the Kaiser's structures and using the Dark Towers to create artificial Digimon until Archnemon creates one made from 100 dark towers and her own hair, BlackWarGreymon, whom she immediately loses control of because he ends up having a soul and an existential crisis. Their initial goal seems scattered but it gradually becomes clear that they're trying to destabilize the digital world itself. When they begin targeting the Holy Stones, that destructive path ends up serving a larger plan, the fusion of digital and real worlds.

BlackWarGreymon was a Mega level artificial digimon with a soul and an existential crisis. He didn't seek destruction but meaning. With no worthy opponents, since no Digimon could even reach Perfect level and Jogress barely touched that threshold, he started destroying the Holy Stones hoping to fight Qinglongmon who he saw as a worthy opponent. But his arc led nowhere. After several brooding monologues and repetitive battles, he sacrifices himself in episode 47 to seal the portal at Hikarigaoka only for BelialVamdemon to bypass that entirely by opening a different one moments later, which easily brought him into the digital world anyway. Even WarGreymon's sudden appearance during his sacrifice added nothing, no strategic impact. In the end, BlackWarGreymon was a beautifully designed but hollow character. He wasted time and achieved nothing.

But there's a crucial detail never explicitly stated in 02 and only vaguely explained by Koushiro in episode 27, right after the first Jogress: after Adventure, the original chosen children were summoned again to the digital world. They used their Crests once more to save it and in doing so the Crests vanished again. Though they had already been physically destroyed by Apocalymon, we never knew how the circuits were restored. That one line is the true narrative bridge between Adventure and 02.

As if that weren't enough, in episode 1 we know that Tailmon lost her Holy Ring, the sacred item that boosted her power. But it's not until the final episode that Gennai reveals the ring had always been at the Kaiser's base, serving as a catalyst for Armor Evolutions.

Continuing the overall chaos, Dark Towers begin appearing in the real world triggering unstable portals. The chosen children travel to different regions of the Earth to destroy them, meeting other chosen children from diverse cultures. The digital conflict becomes global, though they somehow manage to resolve it without turning it into a public catastrophe (Koushiro mentions in episode 33 that there are children across the world who have a partner digimon either because they witnessed digimon battles in 1999 or because of a strong inner desire like Ken, but the specifics remain unclear).

Amidst all this, Yukio Oikawa appears, a lonely adult who bumps into Takeru's mother and warns her that "what happened in Odaiba in 1999 was just the beginning". We later discover he worked with Ken's father and was the one who after Osamu's death sent the email that led Ken to the Dark Ocean. It's also revealed that Oikawa was childhood friends with Iori's father, Hiroki Hida. They shared the dream of visiting the digital world and that dream shaped much of Oikawa's scientific work. But Hiroki's death left Yukio deeply wounded, a crack that BelialVamdemon took advantage of. He took control of Oikawa's consciousness just as the original chosen children were returning to the digital world after defeating VenomVamdemon in 1999. From that moment on, Oikawa lived possessed without realizing it, becoming the vessel for a much darker plan. Using his research and personal obsession, he created Archnemon and Mummymon with his own genetic data, twisting his dream into something monstrous. He sent them into the digital world with the help of the Dark Towers left behind by the Digimon Kaiser using them to weaken the world's barriers and continue the mission to fuse both worlds so BelialVamdemon could reign over all dimensions.

Demon also surfaces seeking the Dark Seed he implanted in Ken (?) and since no one knows how to deal with him, they simply toss him into the Dark Ocean.

Oikawa implanted copies of the Dark Seed in Ken into human children. What seemed like science and tech was actually a possession ritual, turning childhood pain into dark energy to revive BelialVamdemon possessing him.

The anime's final stretch is full of mental manipulations and speeches about the frustrations of the 02 chosen. But instead of offering emotional closure to the conflicts raised, 02 relies on a victory powered by "the strength of dreaming and believing" rather than any real combat or emotional growth.

After defeating BelialVamdemon with the power of dreams, Oikawa briefly regains his consciousness. He remembers his dream to go to the digital world. He's assigned a digimon partner, Pipimon, who offers almost just two words: "hello" and "goodbye", as Oikawa sacrifices himself to restore the digital world with his own life force.

If you ask me, the true villain of 02 is... its own script.

The Dark Ocean and the existence of multiple worlds

In episode 34, Hikari and Takeru theorize about something crucial: there are more worlds beyond the real, digital and dark ones. Hikari was summoned to the Dark Ocean through her light and its existence redefines the structure of the Digimon universe introducing dimensions that don't follow logic or code but are instead shaped by human virtues and emotions.

That experience took place in episode 13 when Hikari was pulled into the Dark World, a dimension with a dark ocean inhabited by presences that called to her without words. And while the group didn't understand what was happening, Takeru felt it deeply and managed to bring her back. The Dark Ocean is not a realm of evil but a dark spiritual dimension, a manifestation of emotions like emptiness, sadness, pain or disconnection.

In episode 23 we see that Ken also ended up in that place after Osamu's death. Driven by grief, he received an email that guided him to the Dark Ocean. That place didn't tempt him, it absorbed him. His pain became structure.

In episode 31, when Silphymon's jogress first occurs, the chosen children enter a forest that seemed to act like a portal or a space of spiritual convergence as if it connected to the Dark Ocean or made access to deeper emotional realms easier. Hikari and Ken, being more attuned to that darkness, sensed it immediately. Miyako was also pulled into that space, but, not sharing the same spiritual sensitivity, couldn't see what they saw. While Hikari felt the calling of another world and Ken recognized its pull, Miyako only perceived confusion. What happened there wasn't a spatial distortion, but an emotional connection to a dimension that responds to the soul.

Finally, in episode 50, Gennai explains that the dimension they were pulled into during the battle against BelialVamdemon is a space where emotions and desires take form, a dimension without spatial logic, constantly shifting, reacting to what they feel. He also adds something fundamental: the digital world works in a similar way. In other words, both worlds, the digital and that symbolic one, are influenced by the awareness and emotional state of those who enter within them.

02 plants a powerful philosophical seed: the Digimon universe isn't just made of data, nor does it expand solely into alternate planes, it expands into worlds generated by human emotion.

The 02 cast

Daisuke Motomiya: The anime hints at a distant family dynamic and a strained relationship with his sister (something Takeru, Yamato and Hikari openly reject framing it as a lack of respect toward his family) but by the end he suddenly gets along with both his parents and sister without any emotional groundwork to justify that shift. Early on Daisuke has a crush on Hikari, feels overshadowed by Takeru and ends up competing with him (in his own head) for her attention. But this tension fades as his emotional focus turns entirely toward Ken and his redemption arc. Daisuke initially inherits the Digimental of Courage and while he's not mature or strategic he acts from emotion. The Digimental of Friendship chooses him at his lowest when he feels useless and frustrated unsure how to help Taichi and Takeru recover Agumon and Patamon from the Kaiser's control because he doesn't understand what bonds mean having none of his own (hi V-mon, bye V-mon). Later his impulsive decision to rush into the Kaiser's base with Wormmon guided him to temporarily wield the Digimental of Kindness triggering Magnamon's evolution and deepening his connection with Ken. He's also the one who stops Ken from sacrificing himself in a moment of emotional clarity. He understands that healing matters more than punishment and that Ken deserves a second chance. That moment shows a rare maturity in Daisuke grounded in empathy. Their connection then triggers the first Jogress not through force or strategy but because they can literally feel each other's heart. But his arc collapses near the end of the anime (episode 49) when Daisuke is suddenly positioned as a source of inspiration. He claims to BelialVamdemon that he has no worries because he has friends family and a digimon (as if that didn't apply to everyone else too) and to me that line undercuts the emotional weight he could've earned.

Ken Ichijouji: His arc follows a classic structure: introduction (a chosen child), downfall (Digimon Kaiser), redemption (after Wormmon's death), reintegration (acceptance by the group) and a symbolic act of healing (offering the Digimental of Kindness). Throughout the anime, he struggles with guilt over his past actions, grief over Osamu's death and the difficulty of believing he's worthy of connection. He's the only character whose inner conflict has concrete effects on the digital world, emotional consequences in his relationships and symbolic weight through the Digimental.

Iori Hida: His arc revolves around the conflict between the rigid morality inherited from his family and the need to adapt to complex situations. He receives the Digimental of Knowledge (ironically, he's one of the least open to the unknown) and later the Digimental of Reliability just as he faces his first ethical dilemma, lying to protect the group. He struggles to perform Jogress with Takeru because he can't accept that someone can embody both light and darkness but then this conflict is resolved abruptly. In the last four episodes, we learn that his father was the main antagonist's best friend but this connection has no emotional impact on the story or Iori's growth.

Miyako Inoue: She gets the Digimental of Love early on. Her arc is more episodic than progressive, marked by impulsiveness, lack of filter and a series of emotional crises that never quite resolve. She receives the Digimental of Purity in an episode where she, unable to hold back, lashes out at Digitamamon. She has moments of doubt about being a chosen child especially when she doesn't want to go to the digital world to fight or when she's hesitant to confront a threatening digimon. From the first episode she shows admiration for Koushiro and a clear interest in computers. She often assists him directly, like when they help Yamato with music or when she leaves Poromon with him during the Kyoto trip episode. In that sense, her connection with Knowledge feels more consistent than the traits associated with Love. Her bond with Hikari hints at some self reflection but 02 never explores this in depth. During BelialVamdemon's Mind Illusion attack, she dreams of being an only child, longing for privacy away from the chaos of her big family, yet ironically in the epilogue she ends up as a mother of three and a housewife. Maybe the Digimental of Love makes sense in the end because at some point she embraces what it means to have a family but 02 never shows or builds up to that.

Hikari Yagami: She started 02 with the same calm strength she displayed in Adventure, initially guiding the new group. However, her journey soon intertwined with the Dark Ocean, which called to her from a deep spiritual plane. Throughout the anime, Hikari faced growing tension between her inner light and the fear of her latent darkness. Her Jogress with Miyako to form Silphymon signified a crucial emotional integration, connecting her with an impulsive and contradictory personality through empathy. When Qinglongmon met the chosen, he recognized her as a bearer of an original virtue essential for restoring balance. This arc contrasted sharply with her portrayal in Adventure, where she handled light/dark duality with serenity. In 02, her calm dissolved, revealing a more fragile Hikari. By the end, during both Demon's banishment to the Dark Ocean and the battle with BelialVamdemon, her emotional breakdown exposed an unresolved struggle with darkness. This closed her arc with a vulnerability that no longer aligned with her previous symbolic strength.

Takeru Takaishi: He began 02 confident with experience and a clear understanding of what being a chosen child meant. However, during the Digimon Kaiser arc, he lost control, attacking Ken for using Devimon's data. This act triggered a trauma from Adventure that, while not explicitly shown before, became central to his emotional narrative. Later, his genuine fear of losing Patamon exposed a hidden vulnerability beneath his apparent maturity. Despite being emotional opposites, he managed to Jogress with Iori, the group's most rigid member. Qinglongmon also named him a key figure in restoring balance, but like with Hikari, this plotline wasn't explored further. In the illusion caused by BelialVamdemon, it was revealed that Takeru's core pain wasn't losing Angemon, but rather his parents' separation. This topic contrasted sharply with earlier episodes that had depicted him calmly coexisting with his divided family.

I like these characters, they're charming. I just wish the writers had actually committed to developing them with the care they deserved.

The impact of digimon on the real world

After the chaos unleashed by VenomVamdemon in Odaiba (1999), entities like Gennai directly intervened in the digital world's code to prevent any human attempt to study that dimension from succeeding. It was a containment measure but also an act of denial: by rewriting the code, access to key information was blocked and humanity was left unable to truly understand what had happened.

This explains why, even after the events of The Movie (around 1996) and the battle in Odaiba (1999), almost no one remembers the digimon, despite massive public encounters like Greymon vs. Parrotmon or the disaster caused by VenomVamdemon. The digital system manipulated data and perception to blurry those experiences from collective memory.

3 years later, in 02, the Dark Towers begin to physically emerge across the planet, destabilizing the environment and generating unstable portals. Digimon start manifesting more consistently and destructively in the human world. Structures collapse, routines are interrupted and the threat becomes global. Yet, most people still don't know what digimon are or how to respond to them. Even by the final episode, we're told that humans still don't understand what digimon are, highlighting a social, legal and scientific vacuum that's never addressed during 02.

Then comes the epilogue: 25 years into the future, we suddenly see a world where every child has a digimon. There's no explanation of how communication barriers, collective fear or the manipulated original code were overcome.

The Epilogue

Set 25 years later (2027), it presents a utopian future where every human has a digimon partner. It aims to deliver a grand conclusion to the human-digimon bond but nothing in 02 really builds up to this moment. The epilogue feels more like a final chapter written to close the story completely.

But ironically, it left so much unexplained especially what happened between the end of 02 and that future that it created space for something new to emerge.

In the final moments, the narrator says:

"Light and darkness dwell in the hearts of people and the world and their battle will be eternal. But as long as you remember the power of light within your heart to make your dreams come true, everything will be alright. You are the one who will turn the pages of new adventures."

It's a line that unintentionally contradicts the idea of a definitive ending and perhaps that contradiction is what made Tri, Kizuna, The Beginning and Beyond possible.

What I didn't like

Everything felt pulled out of a hat. The rules changed almost every 5 episodes and the characters just rolled with it without narrative logic.

Episode 36, where Shakkoumon appears, is pure narrative chaos. It starts with Iori and Ken arriving late to the mission, setting the tone for a team without serious commitment. The group fails to protect the Holy Stone because evolutions don't work due to hunger (with multiple unnecessary evolution sequences that were exhausting to watch), strategies are forgotten mid mission and objectives keep shifting between stopping Archnemon, dealing with BlackWarGreymon or just finding food. No one takes charge and decisions are reactive. Takeru and Iori Jogress without alignment, simply because the plot needs it and after all that, they sit down for chinese food and laugh. A complete mess.

They didn't fight anything real. They debated moral dilemmas like: "Is it okay to attack a demonic, child murdering digimon with the word demon in its name?" 🫠 Homeostasis should've granted them the Crest of Common Sense.

The BlackWarGreymon and Qinglongmon arc drained me. It was so painfully dull I had to force myself to continue days later. Dense, soulless, boring episodes. I didn't watch 02, I survived it.

Too many TED Talks: Qinglongmon, Gennai, Koushiro, even Sora's dad. Everything was explained, not felt. One big powerpoint of hollow speeches.

02 felt like it was trying to blend emotional depth into a chaotic smoothie, mixing themes like Ken's redemption, the new emotional struggles of Takeru and Hikari, the existential dilemma of an artificial digimon, japanese philosophy and Qinglongmon as a symbolic parallel, darkness as a dimension, Oikawa's grief and loneliness, all shaken together with endless towers, holy vs. evil stuffs and underdeveloped new characters.

The nostalgia was overused. I love Adventure but 02 never really committed to its own story. Every time the tension dropped or the narrative lost direction, it fell back on Taichi, Agumon, WarGreymon, LadyDevimon or vague callbacks to make up for the lack of development in the actual 02 cast.

The epilogue is a forced jump. Suddenly everyone has a digimon, everyone is happy and everyone has kids who almost look like clones of their parents. No development, no transition.

What little I did like

The idea of a chosen child becoming the villain. Starting the story with a corrupted chosen instead of a generic evil digimon was bold.

Ken's arc. It has a beginning, a fall, a redemption and a symbolic closure.

Armor and Jogress Evolutions as concepts. Not their execution but the ideas.

The music. Both the opening theme and the evolution tracks bring back a wave of nostalgia. They elevate even the flattest scenes.

Takeru's conflict with Devimon. Watching him lose that usual light and composure gave his character a rare, unexpected glimpse into the darker side of Hope.

Some micro interactions between the original chosen. Whenever they appeared, I could feel the history behind them.

I wouldn't watch it all over again but I'm glad I watched it. 02 is definitely not for me but it's important. Not for what it achieves but for what it leaves unresolved. And thanks to that, the rest of the saga got to shine.

If you're interested, these reviews might also be worth reading:

Digimon Adventure (before 02)

Digimon Adventure Tri (after 02)

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blue-eye-samurai-analysis · 8 days ago

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When Taigen finds out Mizu is a woman...

Many people believe he will be angry at Mizu. But I think they are wrong.

It’s MIZU who will get really, really angry. Her outburst will soften Taigen’s own reaction and help him understand what Mizu was going through all this time.

Ever since season one ended, there have been speculations about Taigen’s possible reaction to Mizu’s sex reveal. People keep saying that Taigen is a direct guy, an immature person and a huge drama queen, so he has to get angry at Mizu when he learns the truth about her sex. But my own personal opinion is that he won’t. Instead he’ll get angry at himself and here’s why:

Yeah, all these things are true: Taigen IS quite direct, he IS immature and he IS a huge drama queen. But he also possess natural gentleness towards women (check my post about his “sweetness”) and despite being a bully in his childhood, he knows how to be compassionate (check my post about Taigen’s “duality”). And, most of all, he considers himself an honorable person and he is determined to act like a true samurai.

Guess what’s forbidden by the samurai code of honor? Hitting women. In Japanese society of Edo Period women and children were considered the vulnerable ones and samurai were expected to protect them. So imagine the potential consequences of hitting a woman for someone like Taigen.

Do you see where I’m getting here?

Having those things in mind, we also need to take a third factor into consideration: Mizu’s reaction to Taigen finding out about her.

Because if you assume that she’ll act like Mulan, clumsily explaining herself with tail between her legs, then you haven’t been paying attention to the show.

If you DID watch the show closely, Mizu’s reaction is going to be quite easy to predict.

When Mikio saw Mizu’s masculine side, he called her a monster. When Master Eiji learned that Mizu hid “something” from him, he refused to listen, choosing to remain “blind” not only literally but also metaphorically. Although it’s quite obvious that he knows, because if he didn’t, why would he deliberately use the words “boy” and “man” – and Mizu is extremely perceptive about how people choose their words (proven by her conversation with Heiji Shindo), so she must know that Swordfather knows, and they keep playing their little game of pretending.

(Why Master Eiji wants to keep Mizu’s sex a taboo is a story for another post)

And Taigen?

Taigen is a proud samurai, whose fiancé was Akemi, the very embodiment of traditional Japanese femininity (at least at first glance).

So, what is Mizu going to expect from Taigen when he learns about her? The absolute worst!

She’s going to assume the worst, and because she’s a natural warrior who never backed down from the challenge, especially involving Taigen, she’ll immediately go into the offensive. I can see it clearly: Mizu losing her shit, openly provoking Taigen to go on, call me a monster again, this is who I am, you’ve always said it, so why stay quiet now?!

Perhaps there will even be some physical violence, Mizu will get feral like a cornered animal, because that’s how she will feel at the moment. I think her intention will be to just make Taigen say whatever insult he has in mind, to just get it over with.

BUT…

That kind of behavior will allow Taigen to see her vulnerable side. And I believe that’s something he really wants to see, because he is eager to know Mizu, to learn more about her, and – most importantly – he wants to see her without her mask.

Just look at episode three:

In one of my previous post, I mention how Taigen makes an important decision to act honorably and NOT to kill Mizu when she’s unconscious. Right after he sheathes his sword, he kneels next to his rival but not to immediately examine the wound (which would be logical course of action) but just to STARE. As if he was asking himself: okay, if you’re not a cold blooded monster, then WHO are you?

And he’s trying to find out through the entire episode three. EVERYTHING he does in this episode is an attempt to get some sort of reaction from Mizu. He wants to crack her shell, because the only face Mizu showed him until now was of a cocky swordsman, who was pretty good at controlling her emotions, and only losing her cool to some extent (like when Taigen called her a dog and she cut his topknot).

The whole point of throwing insults at Mizu during the Chopsticks Fight is to get a REACTION from her. Taigen wants to make her angry on purpose and even though he loses the fight itself, he gets what he wants, because Mizu is pissed and hits him really hard. That’s why he’s smirking when it’s over.

And later there are those awkward attempts to have a conversation. Taigen is quoting the Lotus Sutra and immediately glances at Mizu, as if wanting to say “I studied sutras in the dojo, did you study them too?” Then he talks about his abusive father and tries to push Mizu to reveal something about herself.

But she keeps her cool and even though you can say she’s listening very carefully, she keeps silent.

Actually, when you think about it, Mizu isn’t very talkative and I think it irks Taigen - partly because HE is very talkative, but also because he’s genuinely curious about his rival. Ever since they were children Mizu NEVER said anything while being bullied – whenever she got insulted, she reacted through actions but never words. And she continues to do it in her adult life. I think it makes Taigen even more intrigued, so he really, really wants her to break, to reveal her true feelings.

The closest he gets to seeing a “glimpse” of vulnerable Mizu is only twice in the whole show. First time is when she coldly tells him “I remember Kohama”, which in this context means: “Yeah, I didn’t forget how you bullied me.”

Second one is when Taigen brings her the dumplings and she mutters “I’ve never tried them. Remember? I was just a dog who ate gutter scraps.” Which in this case means: “yeah, being rejected by people and being hungry actually hurt me, I do have feelings”. And she calls herself a dog – the very same insult Taigen always used. She's disappointed in herself, acting all defeated and resigned, there are cracks in her armor, and you can tell it really gets to Taigen, so he immediately tries to "pick up the pieces of her soul" (symbolized by her sword in this scene), to somehow help her get up.

So Taigen sees two metaphorical “drops” of water (Mizu). But they are only drops. Now imagine yourself poking a hole in the rock, and they are tiny droplets of water coming from it, so you get irritated. But then, there is a huge secret revealed, it’s like a bomb, so the rock crumbles all at once and there is this huge tsunami of emotions coming out. It must be shocking and unexpected!

So my guess is that Taigen will be shaken by the discovery that Mizu is a woman, but not because he will feel angry or betrayed, but because he will realize that all of his childhood he was bullying a little girl (I expect another flashback of little Mizu staring at him with those big scared eyes).

And he will be extremely disappointed in himself. He will become aware of Mizu’s self-hatred and it will shock him. He will finally realize how much emotions she was suppressing till now and it will crush him. The realization will hit him that it’s partly because of HIM that Mizu grew up to be tough and cold, suppressing her sweet and gentle side.

Even in season one Taigen already KNOWS Mizu is capable of being gentle and sweet, and he was in awe both times he saw it (first after their friendly spar, second when she begged him not to follow her and Fowler). I think season two will deliver more of Mizu’s gentleness and that will make discovering her secret by Taigen even more painful.

So, Taigen will be disappointed of himself and it will show on his face, but Mizu will interpret it as a rejection and will lash out at him, forcing him to defend himself, verbally and (possibly) physically, which he will probably do rather clumsily, because he won’t be sure how to handle all of this shit and he doesn’t really want to hit A WOMAN, but that will rile up Mizu even more. Taigen may try to calm Mizu down, but being an idiot he will probably do so through yelling back.

Anyway, after the fight ends, Mizu might want to distance herself from Taigen like she tried to do with Ringo at the beginning of the series. So, ultimately, it won’t be Mizu who will have to explain herself and work hard to win Taigen’s trust back. It will be Taigen who will have to prove that he accepts Mizu as she is and therefore deserves her trust.

I don’t see it happening in any other way.

And seriously, if the creators decide to pull “Mulan shit” and present Mizu as the one who was in the wrong for hiding her true sex, I will be very disappointed. Because, hell, she WASN’T in the wrong – she didn’t become a boy because of ambition or any selfish reasons. It’s the truth that she CONTINUES to live as a man for her vengeance quest, but that’s not how it had started. Mizu’s mama forced her to become a boy and Mizu even made an attempt to live as woman.

Also, putting aside all of this, she still has a bounty on her head as a woman! She really has nothing to apologize for. Not even for not trusting Taigen and not telling him the truth, because what kind of person would in her situation?

Bonus theory:

How will the reveal happen? I think Fowler will tell Taigen, because him doing so would create such a perfect drama.

Imagine this: Taigen and Mizu go to London, Fowler escapes at some point, they eventually corner him (I imagine it happening somewhere at the end of season two) and Fowler teases Taigen with words like: You follow your WOMAN everywhere.

Taigen is confused, and there’s more teasing: Wait, you didn’t know? I was sure you were f*cking her!

It would be just TOO good. And imagine how difficult the fight would become, with Taigen distracted with this shocking discovery and not having the time to process anything. Just too good.

And I can easily image a conversation that would occur afterwards.

Mizu (angrily): You’re disgusted with me! Don’t pretend you’re not!

Taigen: (yelling) I’m not disgusted with YOU, I’m disgusted with myself. All my childhood I was bullying A GIRL. Do you know what it means to me? To my HONOR?!

Mizu: You think those stones you threw at me would hurt LESS if I had a dick? How is attacking a girl with five other brats MORE DISHONORABLE than attacking a boy with five other brats?

And they will quarrel like that, with Mizu expressing her self-hatred and probably also – for the very first time – openly expressing her true feelings about being bullied in childhood, and Taigen trying to explain himself.

And, like I mentioned before, I think that at some point Taigen will notice that Mizu is hurt, seriously hurt, he will acknowledge her suffering and his own role in it, and it will calm him down. I imagine Taigen becoming gradually more and more quiet, watching Mizu intently, while Mizu continues to yell at him.

I imagine it happening in the rain, so it would be hard to tell whether Mizu is crying or not.

I also kind of hope Taigen will kiss her just to shut her up, although realistically I think it would be much too soon for something like this to happen right after the sex discovery. So my guess is that the reveal will happen in season two (in the last episode or the one before last), while taimizu will begin in season three.

#blue eye samurai #taimizu #taizu #taigen x mizu #mizu #taigen #meta #character analysis #long post #season 2 #predictions #episode 3 #sex reveal #theory

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bride-of-hemlock · 25 days ago

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People who apply irl morality to judge whether a character's outcome in BG3 is their "good or bad" end (separate from "evil or good", fyi) really confuse me.

Basically saying "evil=bad, good=good" but...

They will too use Speak with Animals and then at camp eat meat/meat dishes. By real life logic, the spell confirms animals to be equally sentient (if less "civilized" cuz yk, animals) as humans - meaning only veganism is a moral way (by irl standards.)

Or how they don't realize "good Gods" doesn't mean "ethical" by irl rules - lots of good Gods in DnD would haplily smite down UA if given the chance, simply because he is a vampire.

Morality, as it exists in the real world, does not map at all into a fictional world where:

Magic, Gods, many afterlives, immortality, curses, spells that detect literall Goodness and Evilness, speaking to plants and animals (and then eating them after hearing their dreams), etc., etc. exist.

Now this is not to say "evil" actions are "good", it's just that it functions different, matters - less, in the world. I see people say "sending 7000 spawn to the Hells is like killing 7000 people irl! You have to be evil irl to defend such game choice!" (after they likely slaughtered bloodlines and children of goblins and absolute's people who also had dreams and could be really sweet inside, but it's ok, because they're ugly and "evil") and my eyes roll so hard they fall out and I have to pick them back up.

I guess my main point is that in a DnD world - or frankly, any world of fiction and fantasy - what is evil can also be good... It is quite funny - because cultists are deserving of a happy life just as the many sacrificed spawn, but Tav kills without remorse... And it's fine! Because they stand between Tav and their selfish goal, surviving vs surviving. A hero-bias, if you will: "the story says I'm the main character, so anything I do is Moral and Pure, because I'm a Moral and Pure person" (a belief of many "heroes" who kill "monsters" like Astarion, too.)

But then same players see (some of) sacrificed spawns as "cute little meow meows" (even tho they are clearly described in-text as they are in lore, mostly evil - which makes the selection we see in Cazador palace before seeing him highly suspicious, raising question of "what did he want to achieve? Play into Tav/Astarion's feelings to prevent them from stealing or stopping *his* Ascension?"), so ofc it's "wrong" to Ascend for selfish reasons (power, safety to heal on own's terms, because of "choice" not "lack of other choice, if I am bad I will be killed"), such Tavs will say. But that is clearly a double standard...

I think really, only way you can come to such conclusion if you pay little attention to text (and I played since EA, seen every possible route of romance/friend and origin of the other Player Characters/Origins, and play DnD for years now - evil alligned usually ♡) and only rely on epitext (fanon takes, tiktoks without contexts, fragments while discrading anything to contrary, first impression of emotion without deeper look) as main lense.

The assertion that a game route called "romance" with "romance" flags being seen as "canon tragedy, headcanon happy" is just projection (because I guess genre is irrelevant in literacy) and it's actually backwards imo (hot take I guess). And asserting it can't be happy because it's evil (and evil=unhappy) is, well - very american, I guess. I remember learning of Hays Code in university classes and the literal rules of "evil can't be happy" "evil can't be rewarded" "we must push moral lesson in romance because children/women r dumb" is 1:1 anti-AA talking points. "He must be evil because he did something "bad" therefore he must lose soul and can't love, abuse apologies," uh huh, you can just dislike something without making it about moral signaling and therapy-tok talk. It's literally fictional - Oh the horrors, lock us in fiction jail... Just because progressive and big words are used doesn't mean it's better if you repeat same thoughts of puritan censoring. Something about thought crimes is brought to mind too... Anyway, don't want to tangent.

~~~

Evil deserves happy endings, and AA gets one.~ ♡

And Tav is happy with him if *they* love *him*, like he does.~♡

He deserves to feel the sun on his smiling face - to shine like the brightest star; not to dim quietly, like one whose light will soon extinguish.

xoxo ꨄ︎

#“but in real lifeee!” eats your ankles eats your ankles eats your an #i feel like rambling again ♡#ascended astarion #media literacy isnt about taking media literally btw #evil end = good end for evil characters #random thoughts bc i write on walkiesss #my brain skips around so much so its prob a messy post to read but anywayyy </3 #~little star - becomes the sun <3 #jus my opinion #hc whatever u want idc

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let-roman-bite-someone · 1 year ago

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i know i've said this before but i'm so tired of people acting like Patton is the general embodiment of morality. as if he is the personification of the legal justice system and everything he does must be good and fair™.

folks, Patton is Thomas's morality. remember what Virgil said in the Q&A episode?

this applies to all of the sides. every single one of them.

Remus wouldn't be the same for everyone, different people have different types of intrusive thoughts. Logan wouldn't be the same for everyone, different people have had different levels of education, different forms of intelligence and different applications of logic.

but the funny thing is, i never see people criticize the other sides for being too representative of their title. they don't reprimand Virgil for making Thomas anxious because that's his job. they don't bash Roman for being a perfectionist. but for some reason, people expect Patton to be a saint who does no wrong.

it's emphasized so clearly in multiple episodes that the sides are the result of Thomas's upbringing specifically. Patton is simply the moral code that Thomas's parents and on a larger scale, society, had taught him.

“Patton was so accepting of Virgil but he couldn't accept Remus or Janus!”

yeah. because it's easier to deal with anxiety than it is to deal with intrusive thoughts. don't get me wrong, anxiety is definitely a serious issue. but Thomas's anxiety never went directly against his morals, if anything, Virgil's perspective aligned very much with Patton's. being anxious about say embarrassing yourself in public or not getting your work done in time is not as morally concerning as having thoughts about murdering your brother.

but Thomas, like many of us, grew up with no one to tell him what intrusive thoughts are or how to deal with them. when Patton was chastising Thomas for having these thoughts, that's just Thomas beating himself up over something he can't control.

the same goes for Janus. Patton had a hard time accepting Janus because Thomas had learned to always be selfless since when he was younger, and Janus was challenging that point of view. when Patton was pushing Thomas to be selfless, that's just Thomas pushing himself and feeling guilty at the thought of focusing on his own needs.

i feel like people think that Patton is actually Thomas's father figure or something. i understand if he reminds you of someone toxic in your life and it can be uncomfortable to watch. but while it's good to relate to the media you are consuming, it's also important to view things in context.

Patton is not a person, he's not an individual who has the freewill to do what he wants. he is only Thomas's morality and what his morals are heavily depends on what Thomas was taught and how he was raised.

Patton cannot control the morals that Thomas had learned. he can only try to implement them in Thomas's life and unless Thomas himself decides to unlearn some of the unhealthy ideals that he has internalized, Patton cannot go against his nature. he can only do what he has been programmed to do, with the knowledge that he has.

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luminescentlama · 2 months ago

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Decrypting the morse code in the new QSMP teaser (a detailed explanation)

Quackity's new teaser for QSMP 2 (or something??) contained a long sequence of morse code which I... spent like 6 hours decrypting, and this is an explanation of how I did it (and you can, too, shall you wish to!)

I also posted a shorter analysis on my blog where I looked at all the different aspects of the video (the spoken words, the words flashing on the screen AND the morse code) in case you wanna learn more about the video in general.

The only program I used for this was audacity, which is free and which you can download quite easily.

Getting the audio ready

First, I recorded the audio by playing the video in one tab and recording it via Audacity in another using a tutorial here. Before that, I tried to use VLC, but it has a bug that makes it so it will only record the video and not the audio. Still, useful if you only want the video!

After I had the audio of the whole video, I needed to extract the morse code since in some sequences, it would be literally impossible (at least for me, dunno about you superhuman) to understand the morse code due to all the background noise. To do this, I first looked at a sequence where there was ONLY the morse code and nothing else and analyzed the spectrum of this.

This 'spectrum' is essentially just a graph of how much sound of a certain frequency (measured in Hz) is in a certain snippet that I selected.

The top is the frequency of the morse code, so the plan is to keep this frequency (469 Hz) and throw everything else out.

In order to do this, I used the menus which you can find in audacity under 'effects -> Dominic Mazzoni,' reduced the volume of everything above 480 Hz by 48 Db (there is an option for how much you want to reduce it, but seeing as we don't need it at all we might as well reduce it as much as possible) and same for everything below 460.

After cutting it, I was left with a recording of (mostly) only the morse code.

Decoding the morse code

Of course, I tried to do it the lazy way and punched the thing into a software which is supposed to be able to get morse code from recordings, CwGet. Did not work though, the thing is like REALLY old so I'd recommend searching another one. The only thing it DID grab correctly was 'is sacred im coming' but besides that it was just... bs.

SO, I had to do it myself.

(the best flowchart for morse code I was able to find)

Now, I won't bore you with all of the stuff where I wasn't sure about something and had to go over it over and over again, but one thing I do want to mention is that, in a very specific part, I did the filtering thing again, this time with 465 and 475 Hz though, and got an even cleaner result out of that. BUT, the more you do that the quieter the whole thing gets so I had to crank up the volume everywhere all the way. You hear it more clearly but it's quieter.

The following is, of course, not completely guaranteed to be true, but it sounds like the most logical one to me. IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- IMSORRY .. -- ... --- .-. .-. -.-- PLEASEHELP .--. .-.. . .- ... . .... . .-.. .--. HELPHELP .... . .-.. .--. .... . .-.. .--. SOSSOSSOS ... --- ... ... --- ... ... --- ... ITSNOTREAL .. - ... -. --- - .-. . .- .-.. ITSNOTPOSSIBLE .. - ... -. --- - .--. --- ... ... .. -... .-.. . TOHAVETHIS - --- .... .- ...- . - .... .. ... YOUAREMEANT -.-- --- .-- .- .-. . -- . .- -. - FORTHISYOU ..-. --- .-. - .... .. ... -.-- --- ..- AREMEANT .- .-. . -- . .- -. - FORTHISYOU ..-. --- .-. - .... .- ... -.-- --- ..- AREMEANT .- .-. . -- . .- -. -

1:27 in the recording RETURNTOYOUR .-. . - ..- .-. -. - --- -.-- --- ..- .-. Still unresolved what the following could mean (different versions): ORIEFIRL --- .-. .. . ..-. .. .-. .-.. ORIFISL --- .-. .. ..-. .. ... .-..

And also still unresolved but I only have one version for this: GFBEYAMMD --. ..-. -... . -.-- .- -- -- -..

THATWALL - .... .- - .-- .- .-.. .-.. ITISCURSED .. ... -.-. ..- ..-. ... . -.. ITISSACRED .. - .. ... ... .- -.-. .-. . -.. IMCOMING .. -- -.-. --- -- .. -. --. BAC -... .- -.-. I still haven't been able to find the missing k 'back' technically has, it is possible it comes WAYYYY later and so I don't have it in my recording, but I think the message is clear enough.

There are still passages where I am completely unsure what they mean. It could be me not understanding it correctly, but the rest has been fairly easy so I don't know about that. It could also be encrypted or just complete bullshit. Either way, if you want to give it a try and see if you can make something of it, please feel free to give it a listen!

The complete text reads as:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry please help, help, help SOS SOS SOS It's not real, it's not possible to have this You are meant for this You are meant for this You are meant [to] return to your (ORIEFIRLGFBEYAMMD/ORIFISLGFBEYAMMD (yes no idea either)) That wall, it is cursed It is sacred I'm coming bac[k].

brackets [ ] where there should be something in order for it to make sense but there isn't.

#Lumi's encryption lab #qsmp #qsmp 2 #qsmp we are so back #gotta be qsmp 2 #encryption #morse code

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darklinaforever · 3 months ago

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So apparently, Tyler, by telling Wednesday she was sending him signals, gaslighted her...

I still remember that Wednesday has become a regular at Tyler's place of work, to the point that she has a regular drink there (in episode 3) and that Tyler offered her free drinks later (episode 6 and 7).

So this clearly suggests that they saw each other off-screen several times and therefore that they consequently shared things off-screen.

It's rather easy to understand.

Right ?

And since all the basic scenes between them that we see scream romance (more precisely, they are coded as romantic) ; Imagine what it must have been like off-screen all those times they saw each other ?!

But this logic goes over the heads of the anti-Wyler people obviously... It's really not difficult to understand though.

If Tyler was indeed gaslighted Wednesday at that moment (if he manipulated Wednesday into doubting her memory, perception of reality or sanity), why would Wednesday have said nothing when she keeps doing it with Xavier, who does she literally blame for his mansplaining on her power ?!

It's ridiculous.

Basically, Tyler gaslighted Wednesday by simply saying that he thought they liked each other and that Wednesday was, in his opinion, sending him signals that they liked each other. You know... things that are only canonically true.

I mean, he is her type ! 😂

So... Wednesday Addams, who generally doesn't care about other people's feelings and therefore doesn't care about hurting them, would have fallen into a gaslighting operation with only the phrases "I thought we liked each other", "call me crazy Wednesday but you were sending me signals" (things which I remind you, for anyone who knows how to analyze two seconds the media will recognize as canonically true) ?

Really ?

Wednesday Addams... Our Wednesday Addams, would have fallen into such a "manipulation" which, if as the antis claim, had really been simple lies from Tyler, Wednesday would not have noticed anything and would have let him rant nonsense ?

Again... Really ?

Is it me or are these people minimizing Wednesday and victimizing her completely ?

Wednesday does indeed like Tyler at this point (she like him from episode 1, like him he like her from episode 1). And she behaves with him in ways that have always differed from other people, which, with Wednesday, is the indeed equivalent of signals to the viewer or even Tyler (who very quickly manages to understand Wednesday and the way she work).

But apparently there are no signals that exist...

Oh, and I still remember that Wednesday, who has clearly started a relationship with Tyler who was leaning towards romance, suddenly tells him that she's going to prom with another guy...

But apparently, Tyler has no reason to feel offended at this point and demand a little honesty from Wednesday...

Yes, because I remember that he's just asking Wednesday to be honest with him, to tell her if he's just someone she's using, a friend, or more than that.

But apparently he's asking too much from Wednesday !

Yes... a real gaslighter. 🤨

I'm sick of people trying to use such serious and important words, to justify their hatred of a ship and a character (and who, by the way, also think they are making themselves appear morally superior, when they are only mistreating the definitions of the words they use, in addition to showing that they do not know how to understand and analyze a show generally for teenagers)...

#tyler galpin #pro tyler galpin #tyler galpin apologist #wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #wednesday #wyler #weyler #pro wyler #pro weyler #tyler x wednesday #wednesday x tyler #the addams family #addams family #the family addams #family addams

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arrowfortea · 3 months ago

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i really think sera is simultaneously fantastic and also a missed opportunity. solas in DA:I took ~7 rewrites, which is understandable since he's set up for like, Big Things. but i think about that a lot when i'm ~*~musing~*~ on what sera could've been.

sera is far and away the only character by bioware i'm similar to as a person IRL, her voice actress is FANTASTIC, i almost always have her in my party bc i love her, (my url is a sera quote!!), and still!!! she feels SO FLAT TO ME!!! and i CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT!!!! this is going to be a very Vibes Based critique and i might pull up quotes etc for a post in future but i just need to. get it Out

maybe it's a "woman written by a man" issue. she feel so close to being Real and Relatable and then swings wide, it's so weird. i do think a deep part of it stems from the writers/narrative going "yeah she can really get on your nerves lol!" — for the most blatant example of this, see: the fact she's the only party member with a constant "get out of the inquisition" button on her dialogue wheel. i also feel this in how hard-line her opinions are, while at the same time she argues them, for the most part, from a place of vibes (like moi Right Now lmao) or shuts down the other side.

it reminds me of da2 where fenris is given time to Discourse with hawke about mages in the gallows, and mage companions in attendance will interject with like "yeah but. locking people up is bad" which YES! IT IS!!! 100% I AM ON YOUR SIDE but the writing gives fenris way more time to Outline his Facts and Logic so the mage companions look like they're just shutting him down in bad-faith.

and there's no real arc for her! her personal quest is about red jenny stuff and maybe working with a guy for the inquisition but then Not. (there is a point to be made about vivienne's personal quest similarly being Lacking in many people's opinion, but as this isn't a post abt her i'm not going to Delve, but i would be remiss not to mention it) yes we HEAR about her backstory but. then that's doneskies.

the romance is just having a good time (unless you're an elf who drank from the well in which case she dumps you which.. i both do and don't take issue with? it makes sense for her as a static character, but i don't WANT her to be static) — again this is where i start to chafe at my own rationale because.. do i want there to be more drama/conflict? yes. do i trust the existing writers to make the lesbian couple's drama not something trite or offensive? mmmmmm. mmmmm.

she has so many interesting aspects but they all feel like they got tacked on and then chucked out the window! the clearest "hey.. what's this meant to be" is how she seems fade-sensitive in banter with solas. i know this is used as evidence for "does she have some andruil in her", which i'm onboard with, but INGAME i'm sad the fade sensitivity seems solely relegated to the solas banters. like? did they just run out of stuff for them to talk about? 💀

her existentialism makes me WANT TO GNAW MY KEYBOARD it's SO EXCITING to see a character touch on existentialism the way she does; "The Nothing" WAS INSANE to see on her tombstone the first time round when i was expecting something juvenile. i knew what it meant immediately and i think it's so interesting; i'm really glad we get a talk with her afterwards abt it. do i also wish this existentialism more clearly permeated her characterisation ahhehehwhehahhe Yes

as for the Elfy issue: i'm not from any of the minorities that the writing for elves draws coding from, so. grain, salt. i don't think "i don't want to be seen as An Elf(TM)", or being not big on the dalish, needed to be handled in such a blatant "this is internalised racism i cannot talk you out of" way. again, fenris in da2 is a dick about the dalish, but he does have a personal relationship with his identity as an elf which feels authentic.

i also hate how shafted city elves got in DA:I so sera being from an alienage (when she was very young) but then that being breezed past makes me. sad whatever I KNOW SHE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE A THING I JUST WANTED CITY ELVES SOMEWHEREEEE

i do love her journal though. that is top tier and i love it and 5 stars and whoever thought of that is amazing (probably her writer. sigh. credit sadly is due where credit is due /j)

anyway i should probably compile this into a better argued and evidenced post i just !!!!!

#sera dragon age #sera #dragon age meta #is this anything. i'm GSGDHGHHGGG #da: i

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luckylunatix · 3 months ago

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Ok so like I kinda already posted about how I think Oswald Cobblepot (at least the BTAS version of him) is autistic and I kinda wanna elaborate on that:

First off, he really loves birds in a way that feels like a special interest. In other media, this characteristic would be explained via backstory or just completely absent, but here there is no explanation for why he cares so much about birds, so I just have to assume it's cuz hyperfixation go brrrrr.

He seems to be running on a very different code of conduct and social logic than the other rogues. He seems to believe that "the enemy of my enemy is my friend," and why wouldn't he? They do seem to hang out, at least to play poker while reminiscing on how they almost killed Batman, but with the other rogues it feels more like coworkers who are obligated to interact with each other. They don't really see each other as friends, and Oswald can't comprehend the idea that people would hang out and not be friends. I assume this is why he was expecting the other rogues to be waiting for him when he got out of jail in "Bird of a Feather," and why he sees it as reprehensible to send a hit out on a fellow rogue in "Second Chances."

Speaking of "Birds of a Feather," although Veronica Vreeland and her nasty little friend seem to think of Oswald as a freak based on his physical appearance (short, fat, deformed, overall birdlike), a lot of focus is placed on his behavior, and how he seems to come off as eccentric and socially inept compared to these high society folk. To me, it feels reminiscent of an autistic person who never learned how to mask, or at the very least isn't very good at it.

There's also that little moment where he taps on the table during his date with Veronica. That is a happy stim, 100%.

That cigarette holder he's always got in his mouth is probably also a stim thing. I know it's because that's how fancy people smoke and it's been a part of his character since the old comics, but even with there clearly being a cigarette in it it doesn't really seem like he's smoking anything. Like it's clearly just there because he needs to be holding something between his teeth but also keep up the look he's going for. (This one's a bit more of a stretch but I'm still including it.)

So, uh, yeah, that's my thoughts on the matter

#batman #batman the animated series #btas #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #btas penguin #btas oswald cobblepot #autism #actually autistic #autistic headcanon #i was having a shower thought moment and felt the need to write it down #especially since i had been watching content about autistic rep #specifically about poorly done autistic rep and also unintentional autistic coding

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kenomacreature · 6 months ago

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THE MAGIC CIRCLE, or "WTF is Darkness, anyway?"

Part Three

A comprehensive, themes-first take on what Deltarune is "really about"

The Gaster of it all

The foremost trouble with Gaster is that there just isn’t very much to work with. We know so little about the guy that we couldn’t even figure out if a certain Valentine’s Day letter was or wasn’t from him. And since we know such little concrete information about Gaster, some might argue that trying to conjecture one’s way towards grand conclusions about him is a fool’s errand. Luckily (or unluckily) for you, dear reader, a fool is exactly what I am.

All joking aside, I do actually want to try my best to be cautious in this section. Since Gaster is someone who exists just as much outside the text as he does within it, any theory involving him risks mixing evidence with unsubstantiated fanon interpretations. For this reason, I will try to specifically list every premise that I need to come to my conclusion, so we can be on the lookout, together, for any pesky leaps in logic. Make up your own mind on whether these are all within the bounds of reason, or whether there’s something here that you can’t accept or find implausible.

Premise 1: We can use information about Gaster in Undertale to inform our understanding of Gaster in Deltarune. Given that every known character that exists across both Undertale and Deltarune share not only similar personalities but also broadly similar circumstances, it seems like a safe assumption that the same applies to Gaster.

Premise 2: The information the Gaster followers give us can be trusted. This is to say that Gaster was the former royal scientist, that he was shattered across time and space, and that he exists at some higher level where he can “listen in” or watch during gameplay despite not physically being present. If we don’t trust the information of the Gaster followers, there's barely any discussion to be had, as these are some of the only sources of information we have about him. We don’t have any reason to distrust their claims, so they can be taken on faith for now.

Premise 3: Entry 17 was written by Gaster. The room displaying Entry 17 is literally named room_gaster in the files of the game.

Premise 4: The subject of Entry 17 is the substance of Darkness, as seen in Deltarune. Gaster literally refers to the subject of his experimentation as “Darkness”.

Premise 5: Gaster is the mysterious person talking to us during the opening of Deltarune. There are numerous allusions to Gaster during this opening scene, such as the track which plays during it being titled ANOTHER HIM, a reference to an Undertale file tied to Gaster. The person speaking also shares Gaster’s exact manner of speech and verbal tics, minus the Wingdings font.

Premise 6: Deltarune Gaster exists in a similar state to his Undertale counterpart. The Gaster who speaks with us in Deltarune is a disembodied voice who is somehow able to communicate with us, the player, and seems to exist diegetically as part of the menus. A reasonable explanation for this would be him also being shattered across time and space and occupying a higher plane of "reality".

Premise 7: Gaster’s experimenting with Darkness is what led to him being shattered across time and space and existing in this higher state. What else could the relevance of Entry 17 possibly be? The fact that you need to manipulate time and space to even access the room displaying it seems to point clearly towards this conclusion. As discussed earlier, Dark Worlds seem to behave strangely when it comes to time and space as well.

Premise 8: Darkness is a metaphysical substance that somehow dictates the nature of Undertale and Deltarune's worlds. If Darkness caused Gaster to become a disembodied being able to exist within the menus and code of the game, then this must surely mean that Darkness is tied to the very fabric of reality that makes up the worlds of Undertale and Deltarune.

With all of our premises established, I can now make what might, devoid of context, seem like an insane claim, but which follows quite naturally from the premises outlined here.

Conclusion: The Light World is actually a Dark World

Okay, what does that even mean?

Well, think about how in Chapter 2, Queen planned on making a Dark World inside a Dark World. What if she’s already inside a Dark World inside a Dark World? If sufficient manipulation of Darkness can shatter one’s embodiment in time and space, placing oneself on a higher or deeper plane of reality, then what that seems to point to is that Darkness simply is the substance that makes up the reality of Deltarune and Undertale. And if that’s the case, it means that the Light World is essentially just a very big Dark World.

The beauty of this hypothesis is that it makes perfect sense thematically. Deltarune and Undertale are fictional worlds where, like in the Dark Worlds, certain characters are aware of their own nature as fictional beings – characters like Gaster. And really, Gaster is exactly like the secret bosses in that he’s not free even in his own confrontation with his lack of freedom. Like how the Will of the Fountain guided Jevil and Spamton towards their reckoning with their nature as Darkners, the Will of Toby Fox guided Gaster towards a reckoning with his own nature as a fictional character. This is why Gaster, and possibly Dess, exist diegetically within the code of the game. Here in our world, the code is what forms the existence of Deltarune (the program). But once you immerse yourself in Deltarune (the fictional world), crossing its Fountain (so to speak) via your suspension of disbelief, the code becomes representative of something else – the “Depths”, a deeper layer within the cosmological fabric of Darkness.

Armed with a basic understanding of Deltarune’s cosmology, we are prepared to tackle the question of who and what the Angel is.

The Angel is in their Heaven, all is right with the world

Let me pose you a question. If Darkness represents fiction, what does Light represent? Because Light is an established concept in Deltarune. It’s not mentioned quite as much as Darkness, but it’s right there in the name of the “Light World” and “Lightners”. Darkners talk about the light inside Kris’s soul, which also makes an appearance in the lyrics of Don’t Forget.

So, what is Light? Well, if you’re on board with the conclusion that Darkness represents fiction, I think there is no choice but to accept that Light, as its opposite, represents reality. Or, at least reality in relation to fiction.

Deltarune seems to operate on a certain hierarchy of command. There are Darkners, who, as Ralsei is eager to remind us, are subservient to Lightners. But Lightners themselves seem to be subservient to an even higher force, one that shines more radiantly… A figure that is, funnily enough, shrouded in darkness. Their Heaven is only briefly mentioned at the end of Ralsei’s prophecy. They’re worshipped as a monotheistic God in the organized religion of Light World’s Hometown. And Spamton yearns to confront them, hoping it will allow him to cut his strings. In fact, Spamton seems to think they’re already present and addresses them directly in dialogue, asking if they’re watching.

This hierarchy of command maps out perfectly to the metatextual layers of Deltarune. Darkners are fictional beings within the fictional world of Deltarune and so occupy the lowest level of this hierarchy, worshipping their creators, the Lightners. Notice that “Lightners” is plural – Darkners don’t just worship the individual creator of their Fountain, they worship Lightners in general because it’s only through them, collectively, that they can exist. And who are the creators of the Lightners? Well, it’s us, right? We’re the beings one rung up the ladder. We’re the ones who “give their existence meaning”. Granted, Lightners worship an individual being, the Angel, instead of a category of beings. I think this is fairly easy to explain, though.

The world of Deltarune is made in service of the player. It is for the player’s sake that the game is designed as it is. Even if Toby Fox operates in a sort of demiurgic role of actually having to construct the game and the narrative for us, it is ultimately we who are the God of this world. We, the player, are the Angel.

I can already hear the question forming in your mind: “But what about Noelle? Isn’t she the Angel?” I mean, she does literally compare herself to one. And an Addison calls her one. And Spamton calls her one. And she's associated with snow angels. And the doll her and Dess create looks like an angel. And her Dark World attire is very angelic too. Is there any possible explanation for this other than Noelle being the Angel?

Noelle is certainly associated with angelic imagery and language, as all the examples above indicate. But take note that whenever she’s associated with angels, it’s in the lower case, referring to angels abstractly. Not once is she directly associated with the capital-A Angel. What seems clear to me is that Noelle is a special Lightner, with a special connection to the Angel, which is to say a special connection with us. This is made clear in the Weird Route, where we can use Noelle to “break” the game, bypass certain restrictions, disregard what’s “supposed” to happen and forge a new path, in a twisted reflection of Noelle’s own interest in video game glitches and creepypastas.

But really, when you think about it, Noelle being the actual Angel is kind of an incoherent notion in the first place. Even beyond the thematic significance of Light, we know what the Angel is, broadly speaking. It is a watchful deity existing above the Lightners and Darkners – this much is clear from how both Lightners refer to them, and from how Darkners like Spamton do. There is simply no explanation for how Spamton could be referring to Noelle when he talks about the Angel.

If you’re already convinced that she’s the Angel, this dialogue might mislead you into thinking Spamton is referring to Noelle. But on further inspection it’s quite obvious from context that Spamton is referring to the one who’s actually looking for the ring – us, the player. Immediately proceeding this dialogue, he asks us (the player - or Kris, who we're controlling) to pay for the ring. It plainly does not make sense for the dialogue to be addressed to Noelle.

Likewise, you’d have to jump through a lot of hoops to interpret this as anything other than Spamton directly addressing the Angel’s Heaven, which he believes is observing his current actions (as opposed to many Noelle Angel theories which speculate that the Angel's Heaven will be not a literal, but abstract concept corresponding to a future Dark World, or even the Roaring itself, at any rate caused by Noelle). But this naturally leads us to the question of what exactly the Angel’s Heaven is.

From what Spamton says, and from its description in the prophecy, it seems that the Angel’s Heaven refers to an actual, tangible location or plane of existence. Given that, I think it makes intuitive sense that the Angel’s Heaven is simply our world – the world above the Light World, the Even Lighter World so to speak, the home of angels and divine light. This is how Heaven can be “watching”, as Spamton says.

Banishing the Angel’s Heaven – the goal of the prophecy – would thus mean, well, sealing away the real world and severing the connection that was established at the beginning of the game, which is just a more complicated way of saying that it refers to ending the game. As explained earlier, Deltarune is itself a sort of Dark Fountain, a constructed world filled with characters prepackaged in certain contexts that we’re meant to enjoy and bring meaning and resolution to. The primary difference seems to be that within the story of Deltarune, this “Fountain” (if you will) was opened from the inside, by none other than Gaster, our gracious host, and must thus be banished from the inside as well, by the Delta Warriors of Legend.

I believe that this is the ending that Toby has teased, the conclusion that he dreamed of nearly 14 years ago. As the boundaries between the player and the game gradually break down, so will the boundaries between the Light and Dark Worlds within the game's diegesis, culminating in the Roaring, which I fully expect to be represented through overt meta-awareness and glitch aesthetics, similar to Undertale’s endings. What else would an apocalypse look like within the metaphysics of a video game program, after all, but a fatal exception error? The Roaring will deliver us to the the edge of the shadow, where reality and dream meet. And to bring an end to the Roaring, that connection must be severed.

In conclusion…

Deltarune’s narrative, like Undertale before it, is highly concentrated on a metatextual exploration of fiction and the impact it can have on people’s lives. The crucial difference is that where this was mostly relegated to subtext in Undertale, Deltarune is overtly grappling with these ideas through its plot. Not only with the metaphorically loaded nature of the Dark Worlds which serve as the backdrops to the adventures of our characters, but also with the player character themselves, their outright awareness and rejection of the player controlling them, and the ways in which those complicated feelings manifest in the Dark Worlds generated from their Will.

In this way, Deltarune is not only interested in exploring the impact of fiction on the lives of its creators but also the impact of reality on fictional constructs, which in turn reflects our own real world struggles to make sense of our place in an incomprehensible world which may or may not be created by a higher being.

A proper understanding of the thematic preoccupations of a text can open up new avenues of speculation and focus one’s sight on the things that truly matter the most. In this essay, I offered answers to some of the most pressing questions in the community, such as the identity of the Knight, the mechanics of Dark Worlds, the nature of the Secret Bosses, the identity of the Angel, and the significance of their Heaven, but I think more important than any answers to those mysteries in themselves is how they connect and tie into the central themes of the narrative.

By no means do I expect all of my conclusions to be completely correct, having less than a third of the full game to work with, but I do at least think they’re in line with the established themes it's been exploring, and well supported by the textual evidence we’ve been provided with so far. I’m eager to hear my ideas picked apart and criticized, and even more eager to get my hands on Chapter 3 and 4 – even if it ends up invalidating every conclusion I put forth here. Ultimately our theories should not exist for the sake of establishing or perpetuating arbitrary divisions, or to further our own profile as independent theorists, but to attain a better understanding of the narrative we’re being presented with. To that end, I can only hope I was successful.

#the magic circle essay #deltarune #undertale

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