#since i really .. had to basically reconsider her character

[intrepelle]

Lady Estelle, ward [and illegitimate daughter] of Phileas Fogg, the 4th Duke of Windlesham.

The pair live at No. 7 Saville Street in Mayfair, essentially year-round. Occasionally they will both return to Ancaster Castle, his country house in Lincolnshire, but it is rare indeed to see them in the country.

Highly opinionated and highly spirited, prone to resorting to cheekiness and impudence when she's not met with the kindness or basic respect that she, as a person, is deserving of.

Seemingly unbothered by any society gossip that circulates with her as the focus.

A notorious pickpocket, though she'll only loot from people she thinks deserving of it––nobles who disrespect their staff, cruel mothers, cruel fathers, bitchy debutantes.

Her mother [Louise Laroche, from a Huguenot family] worked as a maid at the gentleman's club Brooks's, which her father [Phileas Fogg, the Duke of Windlesham, though he was only the Marquess of Bathurst at the time] is a frequent member of. The two had a dalliance in the second half of 1791, and though it did not last for long, Louise soon realised she had fallen pregnant. Knowing that he was too honourable a man to not take action, but not wanting to trap either of them in a situation that neither wanted, Louise keeps shtum and remains working at Brooks's for as long as she is able to, only to wind up returning to her parents' small farm in Crawley when it is not something she can hide any longer. She gives birth to Estelle, and near immediately after, journeys back to London, accepting a cook position in White's upon her return, the rival club of her former employer. Estelle is thus raised to believe that her grandparents are her parents for the first thirteen years of her life.

Louise fell sick in the spring of 1806, to the point of being released from her position at White's, and with no other employment prospects while she is so ill, she is once again forced to return to the Laroche farm. A precocious child, far too intelligent for a girl her age, Estelle quickly catches on to the worried glances and hushed whispers of her 'parents' upon the return of her 'sister', and that it goes beyond her poor health. The truth eventually [finally] comes out one midsummer's eve, shortly before Estelle's fourteenth birthday, when Louise is resigned to communicating in wheezes and laboured breaths, relying on her own parents to fill in the gaps, though even their knowledge does not extend to the whole story. Louise does not live to see the harvest of 1806.

Estelle is, understandably, left reeling. In the span of a few short weeks, she has learnt that much of what she's known about herself is untrue––her life has been a lie, even if not a very exciting one in her eyes. A precocious child nonetheless, and far too quick for a girl of her age, she resolves to discover all she can of her real father, who has since come to inherit his own father's title, all the while totally unaware that he has a daughter. The best way to do this, she resolves, is to follow in her mother's footsteps and find employment as a housemaid at Brooks's. She can observe her father in his natural habitat, she can keep her ear to the ground for gossip, she can feel a little bit closer to the woman she always thought was her sister––and she can finally see London.

It does not go quite the way she had envisioned, for it turns out her father is no rake.

Over the course of a year and a half, Estelle discovers quite a lot about the mysterious Duke of Windlesham. He is a mild-mannered and reclusive man; a little too particular about the temperature of his shaving water or the precise time of how long his tea is to steep, but they appear to be his worst foibles. He is a notorious gambler, but never to the point of ruin, and he never makes a bet that he is not confident he can win. He does not drink to the point of drunkness, nor does he smoke beyond the occasional pipe for special occasions. While considered an eccentric by some of his peers, and regarded poorly by some ladies of high society for his refusal to marry, he is more or less a gentleman of the highest calibre, albeit a lonely one. Estelle cannot understand why her mother refused to tell him the truth, why she allowed for them both to live such restrictive lives, why she kept Estelle a secret; and though she would like to respect her late mother's wishes, it turns out she is just as stubborn and principled as the Duke that she has been shadowing for the past eighteen months.

A few short weeks before her sixteenth birthday (1808!), Estelle finds herself pacing the corner of Saville Street and Burlington Gardens, just a few feet away from the comfortable [not sumptuous, but comfortable] mansion where the Duke took up residence whilst in London. She sticks out like a sore thumb in Mayfair, and it is obvious: she finds herself shrinking into the shadows, which makes it difficult to keep an eye on No. 7. The pocket watch that she had purloined from an unlucky gambling gentleman months back is still warm in her reticule, and when she last checked it had told her that it was twenty eight minutes past eleven, meaning she has either experienced the longest two minutes of her entire life, or today is the day that the Duke finally breaks his precise habits and decides not to repair to Brooks's at half past eleven.

But! Lo and behold, just as she has begun to despair and think that she wasted a rare day off on a foolish endeavour, a face that is oh-so-familiar [not least of all because of its resemblance to her own] begins to weave into view. Realising that it is a matter of now or never, Estelle propels herself into his path; an unwise decision, she realises mid-action, to interrupt one of his famed routines, but she never has prided herself on being wise. Intelligent, yes; quick-witted, certainly. But wise? ...

She expects it to be a travesty. A disaster. For her to be shunned and rebuffed, to become a laughing stock of London as the crazed maid from the country who had the audacity to harangue a Duke of all people, and assault him with all sorts of falsehoods.

Yet that is not what happens. After the initial distaste towards being waylaid leaves his features, the Duke gets a certain look [watery? wistful? pained?] in his eye at the mention of a French maid who used to work at the club. Though a taciturn man by nature, Estelle has not ever seen him so speechless in the short time she's been observing him, and it does little to assuage her nerves, but she continues on her rambling. When, finally, she runs out of steam, and finds herself looking rather dumbly on at him, he responds in a way that shocks her to her core: he nods. He muses that perhaps today is the day he will finally be noted as absent at Brooks's, and asks if she would care to join him for a humble breakfast at No. 7 Saville Street, so that they might become better acquainted. She assents––nervously, mind you––and the rest, as they say, is history.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Building a Better Ashe

About a year ago I took a pass at redesigning Ashe the Frost Archer from League of Legends with the help of Ainsworth "Apple_Cork" Lin (https://www.instagram.com/apple_cork/ || https://linktr.ee/apple_cork) who I commissioned for the artwork.

We took Ashe through a number of ideations and various approaches to her character design, which you'll find below the Read More cutoff.

If you want to watch the video version of our design process (it's pretty good!) you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fi5fuv1nLs

Goals:

The goal was to create a version of Ashe that puts less priority of simply making her "appealing" or look pretty, and more on doing storytelling for the kind of role she plays in the story of the Freljord.

Ashe as she exists now is basically a riff on the Drow Ranger from Dota, complete with WarCraft 3 style Hot Elven Ranger getup. She's a queen of the frozen north, but she runs around in a miniskirt, thigh-highs and a paper-thin cloak because

this design was originally put together to be running around sunny Elven forests on Azeroth, and got interpolated through Dota into League of Legends without ever really reconsidering the concept

it was designed for League of Legends at a time when worldbuilding and character storytelling simply were not priorities in their character design - characters were broad recognizable fantasy archetypes being thrown together Smash Bros style for a fighting tournament

Late 2000s high fantasy character design in gaming had a default preference for Sexy Cleavage Babes for female character design that permeated the entire design space, especially at Blizzard, whose influence formed the basis for League of Legends

Over a decade later, Ashe has been fleshed out as much more of a real character, with a place and role in the world and cosmology of the Freljord far beyond her original archetype. Now she is specifically constructed as a counterpart to Lissandra's imperious, manipulative, sovereign mysticism and to Sejuani's martial brutality. The Avarosa are the only faction in the Freljord (and one of the very few in Runeterra) who argue explicitly for a softer life with less violence and struggle as the ideal. Ashe wants to reform and abolish the blood-soaked warrior culture of the Freljord and replace it with communal mutual aid and sharing, with tribes pooling their collective resources rather than relying on constant raiding and warfare. She's also a notable champion of the Hearthbound, the "normal" people of the Freljord who are not blessed with Iceborn blood or noble lineages.

The Avarosa have successfully recruited a huge swath of tribes to their cause, and through collaboration and a focus on agriculture and mutual protection have become the breadbasket of the Freljord, able to extend their political reach simply by offering new tribes access to reliable sources of food.

The power and rhetoric of the Avarosa thus rests on

A rejection of martial warrior culture in favor of a culture of nurturing and mutual care

Embrace of vulnerability and "weakness"

The promise of plenty, of full food stores and protection from failed harvests and the bitter winter cold

So, the design goals are:

Contrast Ashe visually with both Lissandra and especially with Sejuani, who is her most direct opposite.

Tell the story not only of Ashe herself, but of the faction she represents, and represent its values in her design.

Make her unique and recognizable against the lineup of other League of Legends characters in a way that currently she simply isn't.

Early ideation:

Here we start by identifying silhouettes and the basic ideas of costuming that we want to run with. Since League of Legends women also generally have a bad case of Chronic Sameface Syndrome, we also explore a bunch of different face shapes and ideas for distinguishing Ashe physically outside of costuming and body shape.

Refinement:

We pick out a smaller number of variations to play with, and Apple_Cork explores various options for the costuming.

At this point we've settled on two main ideas: a "Warrior" Ashe, who is characterized by the hard life she's had to lead. Her struggles and suffering, especially the loss of her mother and the betrayal of Sejuani, are the emotional impetus that leads to her reaching the ideals of the Avarosans as an antidote to and rebellion against the Freljord's bloody history. We decide to use the A2 and A3 variation as a base for this, with addition of details like scarring and a somewhat bulkier musculature. This runs the risk of making her physically quite similar to Sejuani, which is a trade-off that might be worth it since the two of them are repeatedly positioned as sisters (even if not by blood) in their stories, and are very alike in their experiences and traumas, even if they've reached opposite conclusions from it.

The other idea is "Warmother Ashe." The Freljord is organized around matrilineal tribal leadership, with a significant emphasis on the social role of motherhood, with the leader of the tribe conceptualized as its primary mother figure. Most Warmothers we've known are hard-bitten, violent and domineering matriarchs, emphasizing the war bit of the name, and since Ashe represents a decisive break with that tradition, we want to create a design that puts emphasis on the mother part of the idea.

So an Ashe who is visually soft, associated with typical traits of nurturing motherhood and who visibly rejects struggle, deprivation and violence as part of her identity. The C1 and C2 variations form the basis for this character.

Both designs are intended to provide a strong visual contrast to the stark black-and-blue statuesque angularity of Lissandra, as well as the armored, hard-shelled, segmented look of Sejuani

A note on body politics and character design

It is generally Problematic™ to equate any one body type with any one set of personality traits, whether positively or negatively. A lot of common character design associations and shorthand is based on body stereotypes, and on a systemic scale, they can reinforce existing social bigotries.

The most common example: character design often employ the idea that good people tend to be beautiful and evil people tend to be ugly, and that a person's inner moral character can be read in their physical traits.

This is a trope with an extremely bad history, especially when it intersects with the politics of beauty, with eugenics and with racial caricature. Whiteness and the constructed features of whiteness are often used as the basis of beauty ideals, while traits and features associated with non-whiteness are considered ugly or undesirable, and thus in visual storytelling these traits can become markers of moral degeneracy or evil. Disney villains do this all the time, to various degrees of Problematicness.

I bring this up here because we decided to use a fat body-type on one of our Ashe designs specifically to code the design to be associated with softness, kindness, motherly nurturing and so on. These are positive traits, and it is meant to establish her as a contrast with Sejuani who is hard-edged, muscled and brutal. But also, yeah, fat bodies being associated with those traits is a reductive stereotype, just the same as associating highly trained, skinny and fit bodies with emotional coldness, lack of kindness and violence is reductive.

Character design is a tightrope walk between using available associations and stereotypes to create coding and shorthand so the audience can easily read the design on the one hand, and trying to redefine and re-associate traits in creative ways to create better storytelling on the other hand. League of Legends is a game that relies very, very heavily on existing and known archetypes, and we redesigned Ashe on those terms as well. It is fair to criticize our redesign for those trade-offs, within reason, and within the context of the problems of the design it is intended to improve upon. League of Legends as a franchise is generally unwilling to allow fat bodies to exist in ANY positive context, and especially not in women, whose visual priority 9 times out of 10 is to be conventionally beautiful and skinny above all else.

Final designs:

Warrior Ashe This design hews closer to her original design, employing the skirt, waist-wrap and thigh-high boots, albeit updated to look more appropriate for the fashion culture and environment of the Freljord.

The emphasis here is on Ashe as a war-leader and fighter, and we've added facial scars and her design generally features more hard and sharp lines and metallic accents to give her a more hard-bitten and warlike look. This is an Ashe who has led a heard and difficult life, marked by fighting and struggle.

Warmother Ashe This design pulls away hard from the original design, with only really the hood and cloak and white hair as identifying feature of the old version. She wears a lot of fabrics and furs, and is generally designed around stoutness and visual softness, and does not share the hardness or angular facial features of Warrior Ashe. Her clothes are finely embroidered with her tribe's iconography and she has pendants and trinkets associated with the various tribes that have been integrated into the Avarosa, or perhaps gifted to her by allies or friends.

She still has leather chest armor, albeit covered up by her cloak, and a shoulder pauldron, but it's ringed by fine feathers making it more of a showpiece. Same with the archery bracer, which is ostentatious and the bright brass makes it contrast with the rest of the design, which is meant to give the vibe of "this is a thing she puts on when necessary" but not a natural, integrated part of her fashion. Compare and contrast with the bracers on Warrior Ashe above.

---

Please follow Apple_Cork on Instagram: http://instagram.com/apple_cork

[stromuprisahat]

For me, it would have been very easy to achieve a Darklina endgame, even after season 1.

Malina fans argue that since their relationship has been introduced and established throughout the season, and the Darkling betrayed Alina, they are the logical way to go. The obvious endgame.

To this I answer:

No.

Throughout the season, it is shown that Alina being with Mal restrained her in her abilities and who she really was. After episode 4, she had agreed to detach herself from him, erasing the scar she had made to pit the test, and thus bury who she really was for Mal. While he, on the contrary, kept this scar he had made by defending her (also) without his knowledge, in addition to claiming that Alina was his true north. Something Alina also did BUT in the episode before, while there, now, well she let Mal go after finally figuring out that her relationship with him had basically gotten in the way of who she really was and could potentially hold her back. . So there, basically, Malina was no longer on the same page. Then Episode 5 reinforces that fact, in addition to finally making it clear that Malina has in fact never been on the same page at all, with Alina saying that Mal wants a farm, but Alina doesn't like firm and would instead like to travel. Basically, we are shown during the first 5 episodes that despite their love, well they are very different. Mal didn't allow Alina to move on, and she doesn't even want the same things he does in life in general. Worse, he's mortal, and she's immortal, as Aleks points out in Episode 7. It's basically a relationship, realistically doomed.

Without forgetting that this conversation of the Darkling and Mal takes place just before that of Darklina. Mal having told the Darkling that Alina chose him over him. Then, we hear Alina say later that she and Aleks could have had it all together if he had told her the truth. Without forgetting that when he leaves the tent, Alina hesitates to call him back to her. So the dialogue, as well as this whole situation basically proves that no, Alina didn't choose Evil in there, he's wrong. On the contrary, it becomes the default choice. The second choice. Simply because the future she imagined as clearly as possible… It was with Aleks. In fact, when Alina ran away from Aleks, she wasn't even thinking about Mal. I recall that she had essentially put it aside. So when Alina ran away from Aleks, it wasn't for Mal, it was for herself. Finding Mal was essentially a coincidence, not something she sought to cause. And when Alina spoke of the future by involving Mal in the series, it was to say that she wanted to travel, and he, to have a firm idea that she never liked. (Even one of my friends who doesn't like Darklina at all, recognizes this aspect of the story where Mal appears as a second choice when she wanted to build a future with the Darkling. She also likes the relationship and the Malina link, but finds her straining in romantic terms)

Then, next to Mal as a character, we have Aleks, the other most powerful grisha in existence apart from Alina, literally her natural complement, the darkness of her light. The one who encourages her to be who she really is. I'll add that since he's immortal, he must have traveled well elsewhere and could basically show the world to Alina.

People think the necklace case is irretrievable. It's bullshit. The Darkling had specific reasons for doing what he did and for an essentially noble and righteous purpose. Without forgetting that Alina very quickly regained control of her powers.

Let's also not forget the fact that she didn't know about Zlatan, about Marie, or even the whole truth about the creation of the Fold. Sorry, but Bagrah barely told him the tip of the iceberg.

If Alina learned all these things, it is impossible for her to remain in her black and white vision to consider the Darkling purely as an enemy.

A clever story would have Alina learn all of these things to make her reconsider the situation and potentially forgive Aleks later. It's fucking completely doable!

Hell, I literally read a trilogy (The Kinder of Poison) where Kasta (main male protagonist, coded as symbolically having darkness within him) stabbed Zahru (the heroine of the story, coded as a symbolic source of light), choosing the magic he would reap from this sacrifice, even as she begged him to choose her and they grew closer during the book, developing feelings for each other . And yet, he chose to stab her in the heart! The only reason Zahru survived is because Kasta's brother's companions rescued him inextremist! And yet in the last volume, Zahru forgives her, and they get married, ending up more in love than ever! If forgiveness is possible there, why wouldn't it be for Darklina with this fucking necklace story?!

Beyond that, we are still talking about an antagonist who has been fighting for a minority who has been orpified for centuries against a monarchy corrupt to the bone and trying to maintain a country that is fucking on the way to extinction. Aleks is not and never was the real bad guy in this mess. A cleverly written story would have unquestionably brought Darklina together against Ravka's true enemies, and Mal would have become a love of the past, no more and no less. We would reinforce their differences and incompatibility. Damn that scar should have come out! How could Mal not ask about this in season 2?! Also, although I hate those ridiculous meadow scenes, since we were given one at the end of the last episode of season 1, it would be good to put some back on but much less idealize than those we saw in season 1, to make the bridge with the deterioration of their relationship and that everything remains fluid and connected. And we could very well have kept this good energy and special bond that they had from season 1, by making it / making it more fraternal, knowing that it is already the feelings that they send back to most spectators, and even generally in the story. Malina is family. Darklina is the lovers. (even Jessie Mei Li said it) To say, Malina after season 1 had ended up in the top of the most forced couples…

Sorry to say, but this is all the natural path for the story to follow from the end of season 1. (And even the end of volume 1, I feel like saying. Anything was still possible after this first volume. Alina could have had a meteoric evolution, just like the story. But we know that's not what we got…)

Yet Alina will never learn the truth about the Fold. She will never learn of Marie's death a little caused by Kaz all the same huh, but not considering that it is necessary to show that Alina and Inej get along for the fan service… She will not learn either the plans of Zlatan which consisted in having everyone on board the skiff killed once it arrived, as well as his plan to kill her which led to the death of Marie. Whether it's by herself or through Zoya, for example, Alina will never know.

And of course, all this is very practical and allows Alina to remain ignorant and not evolve. Except that it creates a huge dissonance between the spectators and the characters. The viewer is not supposed to be the only one to know such important and crucial information. At least not indefinitely. The logical way is that the heroine also learns them at some point.

Except that if she learned them, the logical path would be for her to go to the Darkling, except since this is a path that the writers refuse to take, they prevent the logical progression of their story and their heroine.

There's also been no conversation where Mal basically tells Alina that she's immortal, or even Alina shown to actually think about it in a deep way on her own. It's always the Darkling talking about it, while she avoids the subject. (at least until episode 5 of season 2) Like… a child who refuses to face the truth in fact, and it is frustrating.

.

[kdramaxoxo]

i know you said you wouldn’t watch the atypical family because of the suit, but the story is very beautiful and something you would probably love. i think you should give it a try. the only reason i can think of why she wore it was because she had to ‘lose weight’ so quickly again. please reconsider!

Hi anon!

Atypical family did seem like my jam but I just CANNOT get past the fat suit. I wish I could enjoy it cause I really like the daughter so much!! (also anon, i'm really sorry for this next thing pls forgive me...)

*STEPS CAREFULLY ONTO SOAPBOX*

I do a lot of anti fatness work in my life, and the use of fat suits in media is one of those things I can't look past.

Without telling you ALL of the reasons fat suits are bad for fat people (since I'm sure there are tumblrs that are way better spoken about this topic), I'll just say this: I understand the urge to use a fat suit to show before and after, but I highly suggest another option. Using a fat suit dehumanizing fatness and makes it a thing to gawk at. It other's fatness by cartoon-ing it through a suit. Fat suits do not at all look like fat people--they look like a small body wearing a fat suit.

The storyline/conflict for the character in atypical family is that she's fat and sad because of it. That's it. They basically show her as someone who wishes she wasn't larger, but of course snacks a lot and gets teased for her size. She can't use her powers because she is a larger bodied person (which literally makes no sense--flying is MAGIC). Her main goal is to not be larger and I assume the show will have her succeed by losing the weight. Sigh.

There's another drama I'm watching (Dreaming of a F**king Fairytale) where the director actually casts a fat person and listen, that's a good step closer. But where k-dramas get things wrong is they do not do the work to build out those characters. Their character is "fat person" and follows all of the fat phobic tropes that go with that.

Body size is NEUTRAL. It cannot be good or bad. Everyone deserves to move in the world in the bodies we have, and unfortunately things like fat suits just stigmatize oppressed communities and make things worse for larger bodies.

If you have never thought about fat suits before I’m hoping this helps you see a different point of view :)

*STEPS CAREFULLY OFF OF SOAPBOX AND RUNS AND HIDES*

[callsign-bunnie]

Do you have everyone's majors decided in the college au?? And the classes the professors teach??

Yes! So this was further explained in An Academic Proposal chapter 14 and 15, but I've had their majors decided since about chapter 5 of An Academic Achievement! Feel free to ask any questions about Academic Achievement and Proposal since I know not everyone has read either

--

Rodolfo: Rodolfo's major is a little tricky. So, he's Pre-Law which isn't one specific major, but I've settled on Sociology being what he takes before he goes to Law School and switches to Criminal Law (Originally going to be for Custody Law which I think has a bit more specialized of a Law degree.)

Alejandro: Alejandro is actively a business major, he's also in Alpha Lambda which is a business frat. However, once he gets through this degree, he's going back into college to get a BSW (Bachelor's of Social Work)

Soap: Chemical Engineering. This was sparked because what he's supposed to be was split down the middle as half wanted Engineering, half wanted Chemistry, so I found a middle ground. He's not too passionate about his degree at the current time for reasons I can't say due to spoilers.

Ghost: Ghost is forensics with no specialty. He's kind of just going to college to have a degree, he has enough family money he doesn't really need to find a career. He plans on going as high as he can with Forensics and then teaching it.

Roach: Roach is Digital Forensics, which he picked because Farah is forensics and he has a mild interest in technology. However, he's reconsidering his major for Entomology, because he has more passion for insects than computers. I cannot explain why he didn't go with Entomology to begin with because of (you guessed it) spoilers.

Valeria: Sociology. She's also Pre-law and will be a prosecuting attorney when she graduates Law School. She's been on this track since she started.

Price: He's mostly just the coach of the football team as well as a few other very small sports teams. He also teaches a couple Sport related courses. He has a degree in Sports Management with a Sports and Society minor.

Laswell: She primarily teaches Criminology, but she's a Prosecuting Attorney for her main job. I should state this now I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LAW AND I DON'T FEEL INTERESTED IN LEARNING, SO ALL THREE LAWYERS ARE GOING TO BE FAIRLY INACCURATE

Laswell's Wife (Jen): She teaches Chemistry Courses, whatever ends up being most convenient for plot. Not super accurate for her character, I would probably choose Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree if I did another. However, she has a PhD in Chemistry.

Gaz: Business major. He's fairly undriven at college because he had other things going on when he joined. He's about to look over everything he's done and see if switching majors is something feasible for him.

Alex: He started out also as a business major, but switched to Criminology in his second year about a fourth of the way through. Laswell helped him do it and he'll likely join her firm when he's graduated. He used to also be in Alpha Lambda, but had to leave when he switched majors because it's a Business Frat

Farah: She's a basic Forensics Major with no specialty. I have no major reason, I don't really think it fits her character, but it did fit the story. If I was to do a new College AU, I think I would pick Social Justice or Social Work

Malika: She's a computer science major because she has a special interest in all things computer! She and Roach actually bond over a similar major quite a bit!

Graves: Business Major, current Chapter President of Alpha Lambda. Not much really needs to be known beyond that, tbh

Lucas: (He's important to the story.) He's also Pre-Law and his degree is in Criminology. He hasn't quite figured out the full scope of his career, yet.

--

Again, feel free to ask whatever for this AU. Here's the original headcanons post and here's An Academic Achievement and An Academic Proposal if you haven't read them, yet. I think I just recently reached a 225k total wordcount for the series!

[watchmakermori]

so like. I read Think Again by jacqueline wilson and I can't stop thinking about how weird bits of it were.

why did she have to do Mr Windsor so dirty. bringing him back as a love interest was a bizarre move in the first place, though I wasn't quite as outraged as some reviewers are. I don't think it'd have been quite as odd if he and Ellie reunited on more neutral terms and sort of rediscovered each other as adults...but they meet up for the first time since Ellie was 13 and it's instantly a date. then they jump into bed with each other immediately. It's weird and nobody really acts like it's that weird

And to some extent I think it's intentional, because Mr Windsor turns out awful and controlling and we aren't supposed to like the guy. But that felt like a very odd choice too. I get that a lot of time has passed, and it's not like we ever knew much about Mr Windsor's actual character...but the idea of him becoming this domineering, mansplaining caricature just didn't fit with what we knew about him. he's only ten years older than Ellie. As a hip young teacher in the 90s, he made a point to introduce his students to female artists, was always encouraging and kind to Ellie, and dealt with Magda's inappropriate advances in a very respectful way. I could believe he wasn't the perfect fantasy man that the girls imagined him to be as teenagers, but like...telling Ellie she shouldn't wear trousers? Making out she's a little girl who needs looking after? I don't know. He felt like a parody of a totally different man.

Which I guess he could be, given he's called Gary Windsor in the new book. Who the fuck is Gary?? The original series confirmed his name was Guy. Can't believe JW and none of her editors caught that.

So Guy/Gary is weird and patriarchal and generally awful, and Madga and Nadine both insist that he's just like that because he's a man (spoiler alert: no). They tell Ellie she obviously wants a woman, which is kind of where she ends up.

I'm going to be charitable and say that JW wasn't aiming for a take-home message of 'men are always bad so date women instead'. I feel like Alice's girlfriend Wendy, who also has an air of pantomime villainy about her, is supposed to illustrate that all is not always rosy in wlw relationships. But it still feels weird

And it makes the novel worse, in my opinion. I love the idea of Ellie rediscovering her sexuality as a 40 year old and realising she wants a relationship with a woman. That's awesome, it feels personal to JW's own life, and it's a good twist on what you might normally expect from a contemporary romance book about a single mum. But that aspect is confined to basically the final page of the book. We spend 99% of the time watching Ellie go on boring dates with a man she doesn't really like and who treats her badly. Then, on the final page, she gets with a woman and the book ends.

I just think the story would've been so much more interesting if this had been the crux of the story. Imagine if Mr Windsor wasn't such a shitbag - if he was just a regular guy who treated Ellie well, maybe had a few flaws, but was fundamentally a great potential partner. Then imagine you have Ellie, who feels logically that this is everything she should want - the happily ever after she's long been waiting for. Except Alice has come into her life, and she makes Ellie reconsider what she really wants for herself.

That conflict feels like it would've played so much better with the throughlines in the original Girls books. Ellie's personality as a teenager, her relationship to her best friends, her relationship to the people reading about her - so much of it is about boys. Magda, Nadine and Ellie are constantly talking about crushes and dating, and that doesn't seem to have changed much even in this sequel. It would've been fascinating to see Ellie grapple with compulsory heterosexuality and how much of her connections to others are tied to that. She might wonder what it would do to her friendship with Nadine and Magda if she started to date a woman - how it might affect her relationship with her daughter, her parents, and obviously her own sense of self.

I just feel like that would have been way more interesting and sincere. the whole novel is called 'Think Again', for goodness sake. but instead we get 300 pages of Ellie dithering about whether to break up with a guy who disparages her flat, her opinions, and generally treats her like a child. It's tiresome

[silver-wield]

Having processed that trailer for over 24 hours now, I still can’t believe they decided to focus on the LTD. If that was really Aerith’s farewell trailer, that’s just so sad. They’re basically reducing her to ship fodder. They not only made her look like a selfish person that doesn’t care about anyone’s boundaries or feelings but also ignored her importance as the last Cetra in the story. Isn’t that part of her story more important and compelling? They could have focused on her role as the external heroine of the story. By focusing on the LTD instead, they also made Cloud look bad, because knowing that he ends up with Tifa after this game just makes him look insincere. We know his real self only loves Tifa, but that doesn’t mean his actions when he isn’t himself don’t matter. Letting his dead best friend’s girl, who is best friends with the girl he loves, cling to and flirt with him and in turn, holding her back and staring into her eyes is just so so disgusting in ways I can’t get over. Honestly, Zack and Tifa suffer as well. They look like punching bags and pushovers. Honestly, both canon ships just look less genuine now. It’s a pity because I have loved Cloti for years since I played OG when I was younger. Although I’ve always kind of felt Tifa deserves so much more and Rebirth is just hitting that home for me.

They fucked around and now they're finding out it's not a good idea to piss off the people who pay to indulge the people who wave around printed out pictures.

I never thought much of Cloud. I've said so plenty of times that AC didn't endear him to me. I didn't like him aside from when he was fighting. I thought Tifa deserved better.

Remake made me reconsider what I knew and I was like okay he's a stupid boy who can't express himself but he's obviously in love with Tifa, so I let it slide because AC was before Remake and obviously character development and better tech showcase him better now than however many years ago

This trailer totally undid all the good opinion I had of him. If he can't even reject some two faced back stabbing bitch who's been going around calling herself the bestie of the girl he loves then he's scum and never deserved Tifa no matter what hardship he went through. Idgaf if he's in soldier mode or is literally overtaken by the ghost of Zack in that moment. We have the premise he's in love with Tifa. If he cannot remain consistent to those feelings for five fucking minutes just because some skinny white bitch throws herself at him then he's not worthy of Tifa and never was.

Course, Tifa's too nice to ever reject him, but it makes the whole relationship so fucking toxic if Cloud's constantly in this state of "ooooh Aerith" for one reason or another. Tifa deserves someone's whole heart, not just a piece of it.

I honestly hate they kept the optional GS dates. It's such a toxic and hateful concept. They could've created something new and wonderful for fans that didn't cause people to turn away from SE as a whole, but ofc they never really respect our feelings and expect we'll "get over it" and pay out and pay out and support them forever like we're Tifa giving away lifetime food and drink vouchers. Well, we ain't. SE's profits are down and part of that is because they disrespected their customers. That's what we are. We are their customers, not fans. We ain't just gonna suck up anything they give us. And they should've realised by how popular Tifa is, and how unpopular Aerith is, that the people they shouldn't fuck with are us.

[temporarypenintraining]

no one asked but I am going to detail my "Cole and Wu are the lone survivors in the First Realm" AU because screw you that's why. -So basically it's exactly what it says on the tin. The Ninja use the traveller's tea to escape the Colossus but it's too late and Kai, Jay and Zane are killed, leaving Cole and Wu alone in the Realm of Oni and Dragons. -Wu ages slower than in canon, at a basically human rate (which is still faster than his normal rate). -Cole decides that integrating into the Hunter society gives him the best chance at survival, so Wu is raised as "Dangerbuff Junior" the whole time. -Back in Ninjago, it starts out about the same as in canon but Garmadon ends up remaining emperor for 5 years as opposed to the like, month he had in Hunted. -Mystake gets to live as repayment for killing her off in canon and the Tea Shop AU. -The Resistance is even more depressed, especially since they know for a fact that at the very least Zane is dead. -How do they know this? Nya found Pixal sobbing in a corner covered in frost. -Lloyd's arm injury (from season 8) keeps flaring up and getting re-injured to the point where it's safer to just amputate it. -Eventually the Serpentine have to get involved because this whole evil takeover is going on for a lot longer than they thought it would. -Cole is initially very against the idea of killing/eating dragons but eventually it becomes clear that he doesn't have a lot of options and he ends up becoming a really good dragon hunter and he and the rest of the group grow very close. -Wu's memories are hazy at best and, again, he's ageing at a normal human rate. He makes friends with the other kids and stuff and pretty much just IS a hunter kid. -Heavy Metal ends up trusting Cole enough to reveal who she really is, at which point he also reveals who he really is and who his son is, at which point Faith is like "Wait he's the FSM's son?? And you didn't bother to mention it until now???" -Cole rallies everyone to overthrow the Iron Baron at some point idk. -Over his reign, Garmadon slowly starts to reconsider the whole "being an evil emperor" thing, but he's already pretty committed to the bit at this point. -His 5-year reign is ended when he's straight-up murdered by his son (because let's be honest, his character can't really go anywhere from here and there's no chance of reconciliation). -Cole and Wu (or rather Rocky Dangerbuff and Dangerbuff Junior) are in the First Realm for 10 years. anyway everything else is still in the works and I haven't fleshed it out yet but I just really like this idea.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

For me, it would have been very easy to achieve a Darklina endgame, even after season 1.

Malina fans argue that since their relationship has been introduced and established throughout the season, and the Darkling betrayed Alina, they are the logical way to go. The obvious endgame.

To this I answer:

No.

Throughout the season, it is shown that Alina being with Mal restrained her in her abilities and who she really was. After episode 4, she had agreed to detach herself from him, erasing the scar she had made to pit the test, and thus bury who she really was for Mal. While he, on the contrary, kept this scar he had made by defending her (also) without his knowledge, in addition to claiming that Alina was his true north. Something Alina also did BUT in the episode before, while there, now, well she let Mal go after finally figuring out that her relationship with him had basically gotten in the way of who she really was and could potentially hold her back. . So there, basically, Malina was no longer on the same page. Then Episode 5 reinforces that fact, in addition to finally making it clear that Malina has in fact never been on the same page at all, with Alina saying that Mal wants a farm, but Alina doesn't like firm and would instead like to travel. Basically, we are shown during the first 5 episodes that despite their love, well they are very different. Mal didn't allow Alina to move on, and she doesn't even want the same things he does in life in general. Worse, he's mortal, and she's immortal, as Aleks points out in Episode 7. It's basically a relationship, realistically doomed.

Without forgetting that this conversation of the Darkling and Mal takes place just before that of Darklina. Mal having told the Darkling that Alina chose him over him. Then, we hear Alina say later that she and Aleks could have had it all together if he had told her the truth. Without forgetting that when he leaves the tent, Alina hesitates to call him back to her. So the dialogue, as well as this whole situation basically proves that no, Alina didn't choose Evil in there, he's wrong. On the contrary, it becomes the default choice. The second choice. Simply because the future she imagined as clearly as possible… It was with Aleks. In fact, when Alina ran away from Aleks, she wasn't even thinking about Mal. I recall that she had essentially put it aside. So when Alina ran away from Aleks, it wasn't for Mal, it was for herself. Finding Mal was essentially a coincidence, not something she sought to cause. And when Alina spoke of the future by involving Mal in the series, it was to say that she wanted to travel, and he, to have a firm idea that she never liked. (Even one of my friends who doesn't like Darklina at all, recognizes this aspect of the story where Mal appears as a second choice when she wanted to build a future with the Darkling. She also likes the relationship and the Malina link, but finds her straining in romantic terms)

Then, next to Mal as a character, we have Aleks, the other most powerful grisha in existence apart from Alina, literally her natural complement, the darkness of her light. The one who encourages her to be who she really is. I'll add that since he's immortal, he must have traveled well elsewhere and could basically show the world to Alina.

People think the necklace case is irretrievable. It's bullshit. The Darkling had specific reasons for doing what he did and for an essentially noble and righteous purpose. Without forgetting that Alina very quickly regained control of her powers.

Let's also not forget the fact that she didn't know about Zlatan, about Marie, or even the whole truth about the creation of the Fold. Sorry, but Bagrah barely told him the tip of the iceberg.

If Alina learned all these things, it is impossible for her to remain in her black and white vision to consider the Darkling purely as an enemy.

A clever story would have Alina learn all of these things to make her reconsider the situation and potentially forgive Aleks later. It's fucking completely doable!

Hell, I literally read a trilogy (The Kinder of Poison) where Kasta (main male protagonist, coded as symbolically having darkness within him) stabbed Zahru (the heroine of the story, coded as a symbolic source of light), choosing the magic he would reap from this sacrifice, even as she begged him to choose her and they grew closer during the book, developing feelings for each other . And yet, he chose to stab her in the heart! The only reason Zahru survived is because Kasta's brother's companions rescued him inextremist! And yet in the last volume, Zahru forgives her, and they get married, ending up more in love than ever! If forgiveness is possible there, why wouldn't it be for Darklina with this fucking necklace story?!

Beyond that, we are still talking about an antagonist who has been fighting for a minority who has been orpified for centuries against a monarchy corrupt to the bone and trying to maintain a country that is fucking on the way to extinction. Aleks is not and never was the real bad guy in this mess. A cleverly written story would have unquestionably brought Darklina together against Ravka's true enemies, and Mal would have become a love of the past, no more and no less. We would reinforce their differences and incompatibility. Damn that scar should have come out! How could Mal not ask about this in season 2?! Also, although I hate those ridiculous prairie scenes, since we were given one at the end of the last episode of season 1, it would be good to put some back on but much less idealize than those we saw in season 1, to make the pon with the deterioration of their relationship and that everything remains fluid and connected. And we could very well have kept this good energy and special bond that they had from season 1, by making it / making it more fraternal, knowing that it is already the feelings that they send back to most spectators, and even generally in the story. Malina is family. Darklina is the lovers. (even Jessie Mei Li said it) To say, Malina after season 1 had ended up in the top of the most forced couples…

Sorry to say, but this is all the natural path for the story to follow from the end of season 1. (And even the end of volume 1, I feel like saying. Anything was still possible after this first volume. Alina could have had a meteoric evolution, just like the story. But we know that's not what we got…)

Yet Alina will never learn the truth about the Fold. She will never learn of Marie's death a little caused by Kaz all the same huh, but not considering that it is necessary to show that Alina and Inej get along for the fan service… She will not learn either the plans of Zlatan which consisted in having everyone on board the skiff killed once it arrived, as well as his plan to kill her which led to the death of Marie. Whether it's by herself or through Zoya, for example, Alina will never know.

And of course, all this is very practical and allows Alina to remain ignorant and not evolve. Except that it creates a huge dissonance between the spectators and the characters. The viewer is not supposed to be the only one to know such important and crucial information. At least not indefinitely. The logical way is that the heroine also learns them at some point.

Except that if she learned them, the logical path would be for her to go to the Darkling, except since this is a path that the writers refuse to take, they prevent the logical progression of their story and their heroine.

There's also been no conversation where Mal basically tells Alina that she's immortal, or even Alina shown to actually think about it in a deep way on her own. It's always the Darkling talking about it, while she avoids the subject. (at least until episode 5 of season 2) Like… a child who refuses to face the truth in fact, and it is frustrating.

I do think it would have made for a much more interesting story to have darklina come back together and for them to work together to save the grisha and Ravka. They just have too much symbolism for me not to ship them, the whole sunlight/shadow, light/dark, yin/yang of it all. They just have such an interesting and complex relationship and such great chemistry with each other.

I also agree with you that it would be possible to have Alina forgive Aleks for the collar. I've always said that there is nothing you can't bring a character back from so long as you take the time and care to write it properly and I will always stand by that belief.

[fioras-resolve]

it is kind of amazing, a lot of the most passionate ace attorney fans i see these days have gotten into it fairly recently, like after the series basically finished. the modern ace attorney fandom is largely a better one than what i saw back when the 3DS was the hot new thing.

maybe it's a different experience getting into the series now because the games are all out. i got into this series a decade ago when the original trilogy came out on the WII, so while i did have the entire DS era to appreciate, i had to experience dual destinies, spirit of justice, and the layton crossover as they came out, and they kind of had to stand as their own experiences. while the layton crossover came out in japan in 2012, we in the states had to wait another two years, after dual destinies came out.

and to me both of these games were like? fine? you know i had a fun time with them, and they're not bad mysteries, but they also didn't make me feel the way the original trilogy did. i played apollo justice back in 2012, then waited a year to find out its themes would get undermined in the next game. it took another three years for spirit of justice to come out and reveal that the series really is in a strange relationship with itself now. it gives us a new set of characters each game, a new game mechanic to enhance the trials and blur the mechanical focus the series once had, a new backstory for apollo justice instead of bothering to develop the plot threads that were established at this point 15 years ago.

(ugh) i don't mean to mean to be negative about the modern trilogy. it does have a lot of charm to it, and i'm actually more willing to defend spirit of justice than you might expect, but like. when you wait years for "pretty good, yeah" it starts to make you a bit jaded about the future of the series. i've chosen to believe that, since the last new game the series has gotten was in 2017, that there simply isn't a future. the series is done now, and i can make of that what i will.

but if you got into this series recently, you basically have the entire series to binge, and can do so as a full package. you get to see phoenix wright's growth over six games, his relationship with edgeworth, maya, the law as a whole, and you get to appreciate all the characters for what they are rather than anticipating what they could be. if you don't like the games, you can just play another one. or, hell, watch a longplay of it. it's probably a better experience because the trial design of JFA and T&T are fucked.

i'm excited for the future of the AA fandom, but i wonder what place i really have in it. i mean, i'm a game designer now, part of why i made those graphs was just to understand the mechanical design of the trials, what makes these things work or not work. but ace attorney is enjoyed as a story first and a video game second, and i can't bring myself to get passionate about the story anymore. these days i'm more often impressed by games than i am excited about them, and in general my mechanical analysis mind doesn't work well with the kind of fandom that is primarily about characters and relationships. i envy the modern ace attorney fandom.

at this point i've... i don't wanna "moved on," but it's more like "branched out." i've tried a lot of other mystery games! a few mobile ones, aviary attorney, ghost trick, her story, layton, socrates jones (which is fucking excellent by the way), and umineko, which is textually a game but not practically. i might try famicom detective club sometime? i dunno, i just like trying new things, because i love discovering ways that games can surprise me. maybe ace attorney 7 comes out and makes me reconsider all this. but, in the meantime, i'm glad to be here for what the ace attorney community has become

[herlaqueen]

I did always like the concept of paladins in D&D (and love them mechanically, no surprises here since I also love tankier clerics), but had some trouble actually "getting" them from an inside perspective.

I started playing Baldur's Gate 3 and I made a forest gnome oath of vengeance paldin, it started as a bit of a joke but she's proving quite viable and very fun to play.

And it made me realize just how terrifying paladins are.

High charisma and some paladin-specific dialogue options are giving me such a different experience from friends who played different classes, and often the difference is basically that this character just so utterly and completely believes in her vision of the world, how the world should be and work, that she kinda has minor reality altering powers.

She can make people see the world a bit like she does. She can nudge people's morals this or that way. And she can do it because she is just so sure, so stalwart, so uncompromising, people around her start doubting themselves. Even when she is wrong.

It is actually scary to witness, how with the right dialogue choices she takes random people, tells them "you have to reconsider your vision of the world/your life/your choices" and steers them towards a slightly different life path. And people thank her for this!

It really reminds me of how Carrot is described in the Discworld book, which only makes it scarier.

[thebuckybarnesvault]

Ranting into the Void

So it looks like Marvel is going to shaft Bucky Barnes. Again. (Shocking, I know).

Rant below the cut, I'm just putting my thoughts to blog because I have to put them somewhere or I'm just going to keep stewing (and I'd like to get in a nap today, I had to get up really early for work this morning).

When Marvel announced Thunderbolts back in 2022 they pitched it saying Bucky would lead/co-lead the team (with Yelena as co-lead). Now while, personally, I think it should be Bucky leading the team outright with no co-leader, Yelena as co-lead was fine. I had, at this point, planned to see the movie on opening day or as close as I could get - opening weekend at minimum.

Unfortunately, as time has gone on and production got closer (so especially in this last year) articles have come out implying, speculating, and in one case outright stating that Bucky was being sidelined/deprioritized (I don't have the links to those articles rn but maybe later I'll go find them again). Even to the point that one article listed the priority order of the Thunderbolts characters as far as the source new and, including de Fontaine, Bucky was 2nd or 3rd from the bottom (out of 7 characters). As a Bucky fan, this is extremely disappointing and upsetting. This character has been in the franchise for MORE THAN A DECADE and hasn't gotten near the attention and development they deserve and has repeatedly been mistreated/misrepresented by the writers and directors (see the whole 'Bucky is a villain that needs redemption because of his past as the Winter Soldier BS that they've been running with since 2016).

These articles have been running every 2-3 months (? my concept of time is bad sorry if this bit is off) for the last year to year and a half so, understandably I've been reconsidering my plan to see it opening day/weekend (even considering waiting to read the Wikipedia spoilers-galore synopsis) since it seems like more than half the reason I was interested in the movie isn't going to get the care I would want to see.

Then last night happened.

Last night was Marvel's San Diego Comic-Con Hall H appearance. In addition to hyping upcoming releases and announcing/confirming some new castings, new information on Thunderbolts* was given.

Now I don't have the full context for this (yet, I haven't had the time to view the panel yet just the highlights) but it appears that Sebastian Stan himself says that Florence Pugh (Yelena Belova) is the stand-out star of the film. While that's great for Pugh & her character, why would they be the stand-out star if Bucky is supposed to lead? Unless he's leading from the back which A) doesn't really align with his character as we've known it and B) is still diminishing Bucky as a character. Further, Pugh was the one (as far as I can tell) that announced the exclusive Hall H footage, which I think honestly gives some credence to her character being prioritized at least over Bucky if not the other characters as well (which sucks for Hannah John-Kamen's Ghost who has also been under-utilized).

A quick aside, one thing I am not including in the evidence that Yelena is getting bumped up in the priority order is that it was Florence Pugh who announced the Thunderbolts* name change/asterisk addition. I say this because by the time this was announced Sebastian Stan (I can't speak for the other actors I don't follow their socials just Stan and Pugh's) had basically been off social media for a year, something he has addressed publically as a personal decision. As such, it wouldn't necessarily make sense to have him post it over a performer who has a more active social media presence (which Pugh does).

All of this plus how Bucky's character was treated in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier *insert additional rant about how terrible Bucky being treated as a villain rather than the victim he is is, and that he shouldn't have needed a pardon in the first place (he's a victim not a perpetrator) let alone the fact said 'pardon' was a conditional one (I could keep going) here* is just exhausting and, quite frankly, I don't even know if I'm going to see Thunderbolts* in theaters at all at this point which is NOT something I'd ever thought I'd say about a film that had Bucky Barnes in it ever. (Tbh back in 2022 I though this would be one of those movies I see in theaters twice)...

I'm going to go take a nap now.

[titanicfreija]

Someone really likes the bit I did with Sunny's shell shopping.

I kinda wanna fix it, it's a little clumsy, but I would also wanna do too much, so instead I'm gonna talk about it. I liked that bit, 'cos I wrote it right after I met Sunny.

Cos see, what happened....

Was the Neon Helix shell. It was the first Bright Dust Engram I ever got, and I didn't even know what a Ghost Shell was, yet. Looking at it, I determined I kinda liked it but didn't really know why, and disliked it overall. I let the Ghost wear it for a bit and promptly replaced it when I could, and eventually broke down Neon Helix in favor of the various finds.

Maybe a few months nearly two and a half years later, I got Tumblr, and a few months after that, I saw some fanart of a Hunter and their Ghost, who had the Hareball Shell.

Sunny, who still didn't exist as a real character, and didn't even have a name yet, screamed. She needed that shell. That shell was Important To Have.

So naturally, I go look for it and while I'm searching through, looking for the Hareball so I can go unlock it, I find Neon Helix again, and all at once do I remember my 'kinda like this but don't know why, eh whatever' attitude toward it and realize that the Sunny forming in my head at the time was why I liked it.

Poor Freija felt so damn guilty.

And I couldn't get the Hareball Shell. Prophecy is a whole ass Thing To Do; so yet-to-be-named Sunny got to go shell shopping. I basically went through the shells and told her to pick out what she liked.

This was my favorite thing ever, and still is-- I didn't pick anything out for her. I didn't decide her favorites, I didn't decide what patterns or colors, I just kinda skimmed though and looked at the ones that made the little one in my head go 'ooh'

And she picked out four or five, and the pattern emerged only when I looked at them all in my inventory. All disc-shape, all with pointy oblong flower-looking things, three of five had lights, Winter Lotus literally sparkles, and the last one still had shiny shit. Two sets of motifs. She did get rid of two after I got Hareball, but she wanted one of them back. (Symphonic. It's also got lights.)

And then I wrote a bit about it.

I determined that Freija broke it down but since reconsidering what I learned about shells, I'll need to reconsider that, too.

Anyway. Sharing the warm and fuzzies.

[ladygoofball]

Do Not Look Back at Eurydice

A quick blurb on how it feels to fight your own inner demons during recovery (or self inflicted "sabbatical" as I have been calling it lol)

I use the "xoxo inanna" tag when something I write has been inspired by looking through Inanna's journey through the underworld. I don't really have an "author" voice in my writings but hey why not just say that this is Goddess Inspired Literature Exercises?

If I was Eurydice

If I even thought Orpheus was going to turn around I’d start screeching to alert the demons that I need their help to keep Orpheus’s eyes on the path ahead.

I swear to gods we need to keep the journey going because soothing the gods of the dead was only half the battle.

I would stumble and fall, and keep those pains to myself to keep us walking forward out of the underworld.

I would work myself to death’s door again just to keep the ship afloat. I would build a lighthouse with the power of word just to act as a signal that I am alright.

No need to turn around for Little Eurydice.

Nobody would be nice to her while she made her way there.

Always had to yell at her to hurry up and stop forgetting and stop talking to herself. Like that was ever a problem.

Anyway

She was never valued before her time came to an end. She knows what happens if this journey leaves without her. She was always expendable.

That was not a punch line.

Yet they think I would make a public mockery of how dark it can feel?

I envy those who don't understand those depths, they are not something you wish into the lives of people you respect and care about.

If I had the honor of being the Orpheus to any Eurydice’s story?

She’d never have to worry who is getting her out of the underworld. She’d know I would be there.

Clearly I'm not the only one who would do that for the one they love. That was obvious.

Well past done.

Yet they keep making jerky here?

With My beef?

I am so grateful to be a part of her journey and be able to give her a better future.

I would speak to Eurydice like she is already a queen and she does not need to linger in an old pocket of the underworld to find herself again.

She needs to keep her eyes on the future, what is possible, and not listen to the hands that grasp her ankles begging to be considered before she takes a step.

Those hands are calloused. Greedy. Always looking for better blood to fuel the machine.

I would never let a drop of Her’s spill. But people who don’t know me think it’s a game? To me? I would never be so bold to try that around a place I do not own. I just rent.

She knew which hands would grab the hardest. The ones who wanted to keep their own hands clean and look better for themselves after getting in the punches they were waiting to give me.

I wont give people like that the satisfaction of knowing how low the blows have gotten. They have not earned the right to my word.

She did not want any of them to get in her way, she wanted to help them. But she screamed a bit too loud and the observers watch her movements too carefully for her to consider the path.

This was a mistake in this timeline, not a damnation just an observation on why she’s unable to accomplish basic tasks “like a normal person” in the public sphere.

This was a mistake but not a condemnation of Her character. Just a series of unfortunate mistakes made in a way she didn’t even anticipate. She will get better, but the observers need to reconsider their own approach in the next attempt.

Eurydice is making it out of the underworld in this timeline. That’s an oath.

Who is worthy of being called Orpheus in this story?

I am not asking this question to find an answer here, it just begs repeating because I truly don't have an intended audience at the moment.

It has been a problem for years but now i have no idea what to do and i don’t own my space here. I don’t have a right to stay and it’s a shame because my life has become so much better since i moved here. I didn’t know I was losing myself until my community stepped up and helped me, and then I found games that actually made me want to draw things again.

Then I found other things making me want to go into the world. And I got lost finding something before I got my money back together so now I am back to fighting to keep my spot with my pets.

The merry-go-round is still operational, I just have to take down the seahorse figure until I get a better idea of how I want my artistic future to look.

But spring? Will continue without me providing any further information about what the world is like here.

I'm still trying to get my art skills back up lol I just have been struggling to find work in the real world for months. It's hard to create without understanding how to sustain your own income and set up a site and all that.

Anyways, time to get back to the real world and out of my own head.

[askthefuturegleeks]

Thank you for joining the campaign to bring the arts to future generations, MIKE CHANG, we’re happy to have you! If you want a refresher on what to do next, feel free to look at the WELCOME CHECKLIST. Please send your account in within the next 48 hours so that you can get started.

ooc information

NAME: B

AGE: 40+ 

PRONOUNS: she/her

SHIPS: Mike +happiness & mutual chemistry

ANTI-SHIPS: Mike +unhappiness and/or no mutual chemistry

basic ic information

NAME: Michael Robert Chang Jr

BIRTHDAY/ZODIAC: July 31, Leo

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Medical resident at Mount Sinai (currently working in Musical Therapy)

CURRENT LOCATION: NY

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

FC: Harry Shum Jr

twitter post

@DRDANCE: There may be 24hrs in a day but I'd prefer to not be awake and at the hospital for all of them. #residentsdontsleep  #forgottenwhatmybedfeelslike

in character questions

Answer these in character, and feel free to add gifs into your answers.

1.) What did you want to do with your life when you were younger? What would the child version of yourself think about the path you paved for yourself?

Since I was a child, I knew that I was expected to do something ‘important’ with my life, and something ‘smart’, like be a lawyer, or a doctor, or go into finance or some more prestigious branch of business.  On the other hand, I, wanted to be a dancer.  It took a long time for my parents, especially my father, to come around.  It took him seeing me perform as a Jet, in West Side Story during my senior year, and watching me develop my audition for a couple of Arts schools before he really came around.  I was accepted to a couple of schools, but the Joffrey Ballet Academy in Chicago was always my first choice.  Getting my parents to come around about me following my dreams also gave me the confidence to come out to them in my sophomore year of college, even though I had suspected for longer than that, that I wasn’t straight.

However, an unfortunate injury made me reconsider my passions and dreams.  While I can still dance, for the most part, I won't be able to at the level I'd hoped.  It's still a passion, but more of a stress relief or hobby at this point.  But a welcome one.  Medical school, and then residency, has not been easy.  My parents were very proud of me following a more prestigious career,  but honestly, I was inspired by some of the health care professionals that helped me when I was injured.  

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2.) What is your proudest accomplishment? Don’t be afraid to  talk about what it took to achieve it and how you feel about it as well. 

Getting my parents on board with mylife.  And receiving a scholarship to the Joffrey Academy of Dance in Chicago.  That was when it all stopped being just this dream, you know? Even if my path has changed to something they are more supportive of now, my parents never encouraged me to stop dancing-- which means to me that they know how much dance means to me.

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3.) If you could do anything you wanted for one whole day, what would it be and why?

Sleep!  Residency has made me sleep deprived and cranky.  I kid; mostly.  Even though dancing is no longer my whole life, I'd love to be one of the professional dancers on a show like Dancing With the Stars, even if only for a day.

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where are they now?

Mike went to Joffrey Ballet Academy in Chicago after high school. In his sophomore year, two things changed Mike's life. First, he met Drew, and finally publicly admitted something he had suspected since high school- that he was also attracted to men. And on one of their first dates ice skating, Mike suffered a patellar dislocation and broken leg.  Both required surgery, and in the case of the patellar dislocation, a slight complication lead Mike to reconsider his goals.  Mike and Drew continued to date for two years, even once Mike changed schools and started a bachelor of science degree at Northwestern University. However, when Drew graduated and moved to LA to choregraph Mike already knew long distance relationships were not for him, and they broke up amicably.  Once he completed his studies at Northwestern, Mike moved to NYC to attend Columbia Medical School. Mike lives in a tiny loft, and enjoys the vibe and culture of the city when he has the time. His goal with his medical career is to help performers.  He'd also like to find time to volunteer to teach dance at some point.

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*possible welcome connection Drew- doesn't have to be romantic- perhaps Drew is injured and Mike suggests staff he works with to do Surgery or Rehab that Drew is needing to continue his career*

*possible other welcome connections- other patients at the hospital, other performers as patients, other doctors/nurses/hospital staff*

[sanini-panini]

OKAY LAST ONE I THINK but. friends off tumblr threw questions at me from this oc ask game and i'm cross posting here for funsies (part 5). this one is also for all nineteen guys, but it's a lot easier because i have a chart of these since it's relevant to the soul hunt arc of karai's chosen.

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

THE ENNEAD

jinal - i talked about this already here! the tldr is "you're keeping the others here, condemning them to hell along with you."

haku - "you're just like the necromancer." when the necromancer told haku about his plan to reset the universe, haku immediately rejected it--but a small part of them understood the reasoning. they hate that part of them with a passion. now luckily, peter says this exact thing to haku in canon, as ill-advised as this sounds. peter actually beautifully dissects haku's thought process, so i'll let him do the talking:

“Ten years ago, you violated your own rules, though, didn’t you?” Peter said slyly, circling the soul splinter like a snake surrounding its prey. “You sacrificed ten innocent mortal lives to save your family from prison. You changed your definition of an acceptable sacrifice, and that still scares you, because now that the line has been crossed, you’re afraid you’ll keep going in that direction until you become exactly the villain you’re fighting against. After all, that’s exactly how The Necromancer was born.”

minerva - "you are a self-centered leech." which is basically what jinal said to her right before killing her for the first time.

ven - "you have not lived up to the opportunities they gave you." related, of course, to the fact that ven was raised by minerva, jinal, and kai, and she cannot help but feel like she has let them down. (she has not) (she really has not)

kai - generally speaking, the ticket here is the insult mateen used to break kai right before killing him: "promises are cheap, kai, especially coming from you." currently in canon, however, you could probably say something like "jinal and ven are dying slowly and you're doing nothing to save them" and that would work just fine!

mateen - "after all these years, you haven't learned a thing. you still become a monster at the slightest hint of danger to the people you care about." if you want bonus points, you could mention skye.

ridwan - "the people you hold dear are precious gems, better than you'll ever be, and your presence only detracts from their worth." speaking, of course, about felix, jinal, and silpa.

silpa - "you've worked so hard to prevent something horrible from happening, and it's not enough. it will never be enough. it's all pointless in the end." no one had to tell silpa this directly. by the end of the fifty year imprisonment, she already knew it to be true.

felix - "you're dragging them down with your incompetence." the day felix learned that mateen was only doing yaran's bidding to keep felix safe was the day felix picked up this insecurity. it's never left him.

THE NEW GUARD

ilia - "you're just like the Ennead." the Ennead screwed over every main character in the cast by saddling them with illegal powers against their will and ilia doesn't really want to be like that. she doesn't want to be a god--but auster forces her to reconsider.

morgan - "you'll never make anything of yourself. you're trapped, and you'll never escape your father's grasp." she already thinks this on her own, but killing that last little bit of hope in her would crush her.

peter - talked about this here! the tldr is "your death will achieve little, and those left behind will mourn."

juli - "you're a weakling, and if you can't let go of your silly little fears, you'll die in the dirt, forgotten and unloved." i haven't touched on this a whole lot, but juli is afraid of dying... and they think this is a bad thing, bc when you're a footsoldier, it kind of is a bad thing.

lian - ooookay not to be on the nose about this but i think the answer to this is identical to their patron's. oops. "you have not lived up to the opportunities they gave you," in reference to the parents who adopted them out to keep them safe.

joshua - "you're a monster, joshua tenine." next question.

rae - "they should've survived instead of you." referencing the fact that rae and his parents all drowned in the same car, but rae survived because he was chosen by a god, so to speak. haku kept rae alive until help arrived, and rae constantly questions why it was him.

karyme - "you were gifted powers, and yet you haven't lived up to them. you are still useless to those around you." this is probably a normal insecurity to have when you are the only person on the team who both cannot use a weapon and does not have a combat power.

dani - "you will inevitably turn into your mother. it is impossible for you to become anything other than what you were raised to be." i am keeping this vague because i have yet to mention in canon what, specifically, dani was raised to be.

auster - "you're just a liability, helpless to protect those you care about." no one told auster this outright, but he definitely got the message loud and clear over the course of karai's chosen and it has caused him to take some. questionable risks. it's fine.