#since i dont believe i've discussed it before )

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Wishing on Golden Stars [5]

Anxiety of Illness

genre: isekai, slow burn, fluff, hurt/comfort, humor(?)

chapter warning(s)!!!: descriptions of illness/aches/fevers etc., ayato in distress he's stressin', teeny hints of overprotective/jealous ayato 🫣

chapter w.count: 6.3k

a/n: he's back babie (fr this time)!!! and bc i've deprived you guys of ayato scenes for two whole chapters in a row- i combined what was supposed to be two chapters into one :D (dont say i never did anything for you. this baby is jam packed (kinda))

The following few weeks Thoma and Ayaka would take silent shifts on keeping an eye on you. The chip on your shoulder finally starts falling away and you begin returning back to the mannerisms you garnered since first arriving here. If you weren’t serving or tending to Ayaka, then Thoma was watching you like a hawk. Assigning himself the position of ‘supervisor’ when it came to household chores you both had somehow falling into together. 

While it was a bit suffocating and annoying at times, you understand their dilemma. You did just sort of decide on your own to rush off to Tataratsuna without any approval while also being constantly stressed beyond belief for days on end with no explanation for them to fathom. You figure when they get tired of babysitting- for lack of better wording- and realize that you’re calming back down, they’ll give you a little bit of leniency back. 

You were currently out in the courtyard, hanging out laundry that's just been washed. “Y/n,” a cool, and far too collected voice calls at your back. Throwing a sheet over the laundry line, you jump at the familiarity of it, nearly dropping the freshly cleaned linen onto the ground.

Oh…he’s back early. 

You turn after flattening the sheet out of creases on the line, what greets you is Thoma standing behind one early returnee from extended business: Kamisato Ayato.

Thoma stood behind Ayato's shoulder, a sheepish look on his face. That coupled with the stretched smile on Ayato’s face you know that someone had tattled. You’re not sure if Thoma told him about your recent fleeing to a different island or Ayaka in the short window he's been back without you even knowing, but whoever did, you wouldn’t be forgetting about it anytime soon. Because now you’re going to either face a lecture from your incredibly far too composed employer or crumble under his scrutinizing smile that declares nothing short of silent irritation. 

“Welcome back, milord.” Maybe you can play nice and just skate by his attitude. “I hope your business went well?” 

“Quite,” was his curt reply. “Once you’ve finished your tasks out here, please see yourself to my office. I believe you and I are in need of a discussion regarding your recent… behavior while I was away.” 

Dammit. You lower your head, yielding quickly. It would do you no good to try and worm your way out of this. He’d only get more annoyed, and you didn’t feel like poking the proverbial bear. 

“I understand,” you dejectedly obey. Ayato, with a cheekish shift in his grin, turns with practiced grace and leaves you. Thoma weakly apologzing silently behind his back towards you as you glare at you. His kicked puppy expression tells you all you need to know. Traitor. 

Turning back to your laundry, you wonder if you should take your time. Extend the task as long as possible as to postpone the scolding waiting for you in Ayato’s office. Even then, he’d somehow know that you did so and would then also scold you for that. You whine to yourself among the white sheets that billowed lightly in the wind of the midmorning air. 

“This sucks,” you murmur defeated before finishing your task. Taking the basket you used to carry the sheets outside back where it belongs, you were soon marching sadly towards those familiar sliding doors where your pale haired employer sits inside. Staring at the doors, you wonder if he knows you're out here already. Wonder if he’s aware of you fidgeting and hesitation on announcing your arrival and purposefully drawing it out for his own amusement?

Or maybe you’re just thinking too much.

Taking a deep, quiet breath in, you hold it just enough to announce your arrival. “My lord, you requested my presence?”

You hear him hum inside, a bit too cheerily. An eyeroll leaves you behind the safety of the still shut door. 

“Come in,” he commands with a suspicious lithe in his tone. With one more breath, you slide the door open, step inside and close it at your back. You wonder if it’s too early to start groveling? 

Making familiar strides across the office, you move to take your place on a small cushion reserved for guests at the back of the room with a small tea table. It was this very table years ago Ayato got his first bit of information out of you. It really has been a while, it’s weird you remember it so vividly. You begin kneeling down to get comfortable when- 

“Not there,” Ayato stops you mid-kneel. Body awkwardly standing at a half-bent angle. You look over towards him. He hasn’t lifted his gaze from whatever document he was looking over. One of his hands holds the long sleeve of his opposite arm back when he lifts his brush to scribble something down on an unrolled scroll with wet ink. You slowly, cautiously, stand back up and your fidgeting starts running the autopilot function. 

“My lord?” Still, without looking up at you or even making a slight stop in his work, his chin juts out to the front of his desk that rests on the floor. 

“There,” he says. The more extravagant cushion on the other side of him was undoubtedly what he was referring to. You’ve only caught glimpses of much higher individuals sitting there when coming to meet with the Kamisato head. The Kujou and Hiiragi Clans for example. You, a random staff member who was hired on more than suspicious terms, shouldn’t be doing so as well.  

Looking around you wonder if there was different cushion around for you to take instead of that one. Or perhaps he means for you to take the cushion you were about to sit on over and sit in front of his desk in that fashion. If that was so, you understand perfectly. 

“No, no,” his voice takes on a playful shift. Still, it makes your shoulders jump because when you lift your gaze back up from the plain cushion at your feet, Ayato is finally looking up at you.

He's set down his still wet tipped brush on a block of elegantly carved wood to prevent it from rolling away and ruining his hard work. The scroll he had been brushing upon with his skilled calligraphy was left idle as the ink began the drying process. One of his arms rests with his elbow on the very edge of his desk to support his chin- a very unprofessional yet comfortable move- while the other rests on his folded lap. “Come here and sit,” he instructs. His eyes shut with a smile and you feel sweat gather at the nape of your neck. Oh, he’s pissed. 

As collected as you could, you make your way to the far too fancy pillow and set yourself formally on top of it. Seemingly satisfied, Ayato picks up his brush once more. Dripping it into the ink well that was surely to run out soon, he begins new brush strokes in silence. The sound of the brush bristles against the parchment would be almost soothing any other time when the aura of the Kamisato head wasn’t boring down on you like a boulder. 

“Are you perhaps… upset, my lord?” You test the waters quietly. You didn’t want to be here all afternoon with this pressure. You could throw up if he drags this out. 

“Oh,” he chuckles, “so, you can tell?” Forget the boulder. A mountain of negative energy just crashed directly into your cranium. “You’ve gotten better at reading people since I've been gone I see.” You know better than to reply. No matter what answer you could give him, it’d be pointless. So, you choose to sit there and give him nothing. He chuckles at your decision of silence. “That reminds me. While I was gone, it seems you also decided to go off and your own, shall we say, adventure?” You swallow and avert your gaze guiltily. “Thoma informed me.” 

“That snitch,” you whisper entirely to yourself impulsively. 

“Part of his duties as a trusted aide is to inform me of anything that could interest or involve me. It seems your actions fulfilled both criteria judging by the haste in which he rushed me as soon as I arrived.” 

“It really wasn’t that large of an ordeal,” you murmur in half-truth. 

“Was it not?” Ayato’s voice shifts once more. All playfulness vanishes and your posture stalls. You ball your hands on our lap with your chin down staring only at the top of his desk and the items that liter it. You hear him once again place his brush down and you know you’re in for it now that his full attention will be directed at you. “I assume your reasons for making such a foolish decision after rescuing Thoma from the Shogun- which while I am grateful for- are justified?” 

“It’s a bit complicated.” 

“How.” That was what you always say when he tries to ask you anything about yourself. It was so frustrating to him. 

You swallow at his pressing agenda. You have no idea how to explain it to him. If he knows what happened, then surely he knows about Aether too. Or maybe he hasn’t been home long enough to hear word of him? No, there's no way. Aether’s name is floating all across Inazuma by now, so he has to have heard it at least once. Should you just use his name to your benefit to try and worm your way out of this? Would that be morally wrong?

“Y/n,” Ayato beckons your train of thought back and you jump at the summon. 

“It’s just,” you fumble, “it was for Aether!” You continue to fumble. Ayato’s anger-laced smile finally drops and his brow furrows in mock confusion. You swallow at the bitter look on his face. 

“That blond traveler?” His voice reflects the stupid excuse you just spat at him. “I’ve also heard of him from Thoma and Ayaka in passing when she greeted me back.” 

“That's right!” You shuffle on your legs that were slowly starting to go numb. “He was a big help in the Vision Hunt Decree rebellious forces. After we returned to Komore Teahouse, Aether was going to head towards Tatarasuna alone. I thought, since I was also seen with them, that showing him the way would be better than-” 

“-Then staying at the teahouse with Thoma where it was safe? Instead, you chose to throw yourself into more danger by exposing yourself out in the open with a stranger you hardly know a thing about?” 

“...Well, when you say it like that.” Ayato sighs, the hand supporting his chin has now been promoted to holding his forehead as he lowers it with a small shake of his head. “Aether really isn’t all that bad though.” Even with you looking towards him now that his gaze wasn’t boring into you, you still miss the twitch his body goes through at the mention of your defense of the blond. “He really pulled through with the rebellion and he kept me safe the whole time until we got to Watatsumi. We even have a lot in common!” 

“A lot in common, you say?” His voice was quiet and you couldn’t be sure if he spoke aloud to you or to himself. “Explain.” Oh, so he was talking to you. 

“Well, we’re both a long way from home. And, um, we’re both from really far away places.” You lower your eyes and take a moment to collect your thoughts. You did have a lot in common with Aether, and while those two things are true, the majority of the connection comes from the more emotional impact of your time in Teyvat. Ayato, not satisfied with your two weak defenses, lifts his head annoyed. 

“Thats-” 

“We both feel alone here,” you whisper. It must’ve been a slip of the tongue judging by the quick reaction of you slapping your hands over your mouth. Ayato’s arm drops as his tense expression relaxes into something somber. “No, what I meant is-” You fumble around trying to backpedal and Ayato just barely hears it. 

You felt lonely? Was it because you weren’t allowed to leave Narukami without sufficient reason or supervision, for instance for business or the like? Did you feel trapped? Did he do it? The last thing Ayato wants to do was make you feel like him. Trapped.

While Ayato loves his family and takes pride in his work, he was undeniably stuck here. Unable to go and run from it even if he tried. He had to take this position for his deceased parents. To protect Ayaka and keep her shielded from the more bloody and cutthroat aspects of the position as clan leader. To keep the Kamisato Clan safe and stable. He could hardly ever be Kamisato Ayato, he was always the Yashiro Commissioner. 

Was it his fault? 

“Ayato!” You screaming his name brings him back to the here and now. Have you ever called him solely by name before? “Please, calm down, my lord. It really isn’t a big deal.” He feels a pain in his leg, one caused by his tight grip against his thigh. When did he start doing that? “What I meant is that sometimes I can get a bit homesick, that’s all. I don’t mean anything else by it.” That was a lie. He could tell. The look in your eyes makes it all too obvious, but you also just wanted him to relax. 

“I apologize,” he composes himself quickly. “It seems I’m more exhausted from my trip than I originally thought.” 

“You often work yourself sick. You ought to fix that bad habit,” you quip. Ayato chuckles. 

“Perhaps I should take a small moment to regather myself.” 

“I’ll go and prepare some tea then. I’m sure her Ladyship would enjoy hearing about your trip. Perhaps you can spend the afternoon together for a change?” You shift backward to wake up your legs before Ayato is nodding along with your suggestion. Taking advantage of the laxed situation, you quickly stand and politely excuse yourself. 

Standing out in the hall and escaping from the heavy atmosphere of his office, you let out a deep breath from the very pit of your gut. You managed to worm your way out of any consequences and kept most of your secrets to yourself once again. Still, looking over your shoulder at the doors, you wonder why you feel like crap? The look of... guilt on Ayato’s face from earlier plays in the back of your mind. 

Shaking your head, you dismiss any idea of telling him anything. He was the one who graciously took you in and gave you a job that came with the added bonus of close companions you can depend on. On top of that, he was an incredibly busy man. How could you unload your burdens onto him when he was already feeling enough of those himself? You couldn’t and until some immovable object places itself in your path, you wouldn’t. 

“Y/n!” Thoma comes walking down the hall towards you. You huff, snubbing him as you pass him by. With a nervous chuckle, he chases your back. “Look, I’m sorry, but I have to tell his lordship these kinds of things.” He lamely tries to defend himself, but it doesn't work. Not at all.

“Lord Kamisato will be having tea with her ladyship this afternoon. Please, go start brewing some while I look for her.” 

“...Understood,” with a sad air of acceptance, Thoma ambles off with a cloud over his head. You’d accept his apology later when you've properly calmed down. Right now, there's a younger sister you have to find and invite to tea. 

It’s been months since the Vision Hunt Decree as well as the Sakoku Decree were abolished and the nation of electro was slowly returning to the times. Opening its borders and allowing traffic in and out to all sorts of people. It was a rough road since there were rumors floating around that a part of the rebellion had tried to reignite conflict. It was quickly shut down however, since more fighting at this point would be pointless. 

There's been a feeling in the back of your throat all day long and despite your best efforts to clear it out, nothing was working. The itch was constant and no amount of muted coughing behind your fist would clear it. 

You were currently out with Ayato, taking the role of unofficial babysitter from Thoma for the day. What his goal for today is, remains a total mystery to you. He was only insistent that you accompany him into the city and was strangely unable to be swayed into taking Thoma instead.

His lordship was currently in a rather passionate conversation with Tomoki about yet more unusual flavors of dango milk when you try once again to clear your throat off to the side. With yet another unsuccessful attempt, your attention was pulled away from the commissioner-vendor duo when your name was called from the other direction of the stall. 

“y/n!” Both you and Ayato turn to the familiar chime of Paimon’s voice. Coming up the way from the north side entrance of Inazuma City was none other than Paimon and Aether. On a completely separate occasion when you were out with Ayaka, apparently Aether had come into Inazuma looking for Thoma and ended up meeting Ayato at the Kamisato residence. Of course, that was all in Ayato’s character quest according to your reality-knowledge. It was relieving since Ayato didn’t need to keep his guard up around the pair of travelers now. 

The pale-haired man politely dismissed himself from the conversation he was having with Tomoki. Making his way to your side as Aether waltzes himself up to join the group. 

“It’s been a while,” you greet when the blond stops in front of you. You’ve seen him once or twice in quick passing since your trip to Watatsumi during the war. He’s always busy with something or another when he’s here. Whether it be wrapped up in something Itto had dragged him into, or commissions he’d picked up out of the goodness of his heart; so proper greetings were hard to come by. “I hope you’ve both been keeping out of trouble.” 

Aether rubs the back of his head sheepishly as Paimon joins him in the silent answer of ‘sort of’. 

“It’s never anything we can’t handle,” Paimon defends. 

“I’m sure,” you humor. 

“What brings you both back to Inazuma?” Ayato asks. An easy and relaxed expression rests on his cheeks and it makes you forget about the discomfort in your throat seeing him even a smidge more relaxed than usual. “Nothing untoward I hope.” 

“We just wanted to come and catch up with some friends!” Paimon explains. 

“It’s been awhile since we’ve come back here on anything other than business,” Aether supports. “It’s nice to take in the island air sometimes.” You nod, understanding. He, of all people, needs to look after himself in the event of a crisis. 

“It’s good to take time for yourself,” you tell him. Crossing your arms, you shoot a look of disapproval to your employer who stands at your shoulder. “If only I could get a certain someone to follow your example.” 

“Why, whatever do you mean?” The smile that was once relaxed, shifts to one of enjoyment as he looks at you. “I’m making time right now, aren’t I?” Rolling your eyes you brush off his attempt at pushing your buttons. 

“Only after Thoma’s constant insisting.” With his arms folded behind him and a slight bend in his back to get closer into your space, you turn away from him with a huff. Paimon and Aether look at each other before looking back at you both. It's obvious Ayato is enjoying prodding you and from the looks of it, you were just letting him. It could hardly be seen as a scenario between a mere employer and retainer. It’s much more... comfortable. 

Ayato’s attention was briefly taken away from you at Tomoki’s nervous beckon. Apparently, he had taken one of Ayato’s out of world ideas into consideration and wanted a bit more of an idea for the future. Dismissing himself, Aether steps up to the plate to continue entertaining you in Ayato’s stead. 

“It’s good to see you’re getting along,” he tells you in regards to Ayato. 

“Of course. He’s tough to handle, but nothing I can’t subdue.” You chuckle. It was always good seeing Aether. Even if you both couldn’t speak of your outworld heritage, just knowing that he knew was enough for you to feel a weight off your shoulders. 

“It’s usually Thoma trailing after him like this, so I was shocked to see you instead.” 

“Yeah, that's true!” Paimon agreed. You nod. 

“For some reason, Lord Kamisato wanted me to come out with him today instead. Thoma may have been too busy with housework and since Ayaka had no plans today, having him stay with her made more sense.” Of course, you didn’t know the full reason and that was just you thinking out loud. 

“Yeah," the floater draws out her word with an unconvinced look. "Somehow Paimon doesn’t think that’s true at all,” she shoots you a look with her arms cross. Blinking at her, you raise a brow. 

“What do you mean?” You ask. She shares a knowing glance with Aether before looking back. “What are you both thinking about?” Aether steps forward and whispers something in your ear.

It was nonsense. Ayato preferring you over Thoma like he was suggesting was just folly! Still, it made your ears burn and you wanted to smack the smirk off his face when he finally stepped away from you. 

With your head down and hand raised to pinch between your eyes on the bridge of your nose, the smirk on Aether’s face twitches as he looks over your shoulder.

Behind you- turned away from Tomoki who was scribbling something down in a small notepad- Ayato shoots him a rather ominous look. Aether was a pretty good reader of a person's emotions, but Ayato had always been difficult to grasp; years of experience he guesses. This look, however, was loud and clear. The blond took another half-step back as he tucked his hands down to his side. 

“What’s your problem?” You ask, head lifted back up and noticing his odd shift in behavior. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” He brushes off your attempt to get behind the reason for his change. You want to press more, but don’t get the chance to do so.

The itch in your throat rushes back to the forefront of your mind with a harsh cough. Turning away from Aether, you cover your mouth and try to swallow back the coughing behind your hand to avoid making a scene. It doesn’t work. Suppressing it only makes it feel worse. 

You hear Paimon start panicking behind you and Aether’s body comes closer, hovering around you unsure about what he should do. The hand you feel push against your back wasn’t the traveler’s, but the gloved hand of Ayato. With him watching your back, he quickly takes notice of your condition and rushes to your side. Your coughing fit ends with you gathering your breath with a slumped posture. Ayato’s hand still softly runs up and down your spine as you gathered yourself. 

“Are you okay?” Paimon asks in worry. With sweat on your forehead, you nod. You can't tell if you mean it or not. It's suddenly far too warm out in Narukami today.

“This always seems to happen around this time of year,” Ayato speaks. You weren’t sure if he was addressing you, Aether and Paimon, or deducing it himself. Still, it’s heard by everyone regardless.  

“Oh no," Paimon worries, "are you sick?” She floats over to you, now standing back up to your full height, and frets in even closer proximity. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ve dealt with worse than a cough before.” You voice stays muffled behind your hand you keep in front of it. If you were sick, then you'd hate to spread it around.

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t sick,” Aether argues before Paimon floats back to his side and agrees behind his shoulder. “You should go home and rest.” 

“That’s-” 

“Exactly what we intend to do,” Ayato interrupts. You look over your shoulder at him behind you. His face is serious. He means every word. You feel sort of guilty. Like you just ruined one of the few chances he has to come into town that isn’t work related because of a cough. “You’ll have to excuse us,” he addresses Aether, not letting you get a word in to argue with his decision.

“Should we walk you back?” The blond offers. Ayato knows it’s all in good faith and he’s only worried, but the clawing feeling at the back of his neck almost makes him frown at the suggestion. 

“No need,” Ayato declines. “We can manage.” Aether doesn’t press anymore, leaving it to the commissioner. With a few more quick words of parting, Ayato offers you his arm to hold onto, which you politely decline since you weren’t so weak you couldn’t walk on your own. Soon, you both were leaving the city and making your way back to the Kamisato estate.

By the time you arrived back home, Ayato is holding your hand in his gloved one. Leading you through the gates on the verge of yet another coughing fit. A samurai standing guard was quickly instructed to find Thoma immediately. Kamisato Ayato was a man of many skills and talents, but caring for the ill is still something he lacks in. He would need guidance to collect himself.  

Not too much later, you were placed in a private room on a clean futon. Thoma swiftly leaves after getting you situated to inform Ayaka of your state of illness while Ayato stays behind to tend to you. All the housekeeper left behind was instructions to make sure you consum the medicine he had prepared for you. 'Make sure she drinks it all!', he had told him.

“Sit up, just a bit,” Ayato softly instructs you. You felt fine this morning, nothing but that itch in your throat. Now you feel terrible. The itch was now a burn, and no amount of water or tea would soothe it. Your head pounds and your eyesight would swim between weary blinks. You feel your body being lifted behind your shoulders. You can barely see a small bowl of tonic hovering near your chin as Ayato keeps your torso lifted with his arm. “This will help.” 

You try to down the tonic, you really do. However, the moment the bitter taste hits your tongue, your body pulls away in repulsion. You already feel awful, you just couldn’t bring yourself to swallow something just as awful. 

Ayato sighs when you close your eyes in disgust. You were so stubborn even when sick. Though, he's more than aware of this fact.

The last two years you’ve been here, this scenario has happened before. Around this time every year, you get sick out of nowhere. No one knows why you’re sick or what's wrong but it’s always the same: a fever, a horrid cough, aches and pains and agony no medicine can help followed by several days of near-continuous sleep. 

It didn't matter how many doctors he calls upon; none are able to diagnose you with any sort of illness. 'All we can do is wait it out' are the words he's always forced to hear with another prescription of medicine to add to his ledger.

Always this time of year. Always around the time when Thoma first found you on the docks of Ritou and Ayato brought you back to the Kamisato home. 

Living through two years of this illness before, Ayato was half expecting this. The whole reason he wanted you to come with him to town was because he wanted to keep an eye on you. He didn’t know how quickly your condition would deteriorate though. Guilt nags at him as he watches you lay in the futon. Still, he needs you to consume the tonic regardless of if you want to or not. 

With a defeated sigh, Ayato looks to the closed door to the room. There was no sound outside. Good. 

“Pardon my actions,” pulling the small bowl away from you, he takes the bitter liquid into his mouth, holding it there. The taste is atrocious, no wonder you didn't want anything to do with it.

Setting the bowl aside, he keeps your body raised and his other arm crosses over to rest on the opposite side of your hips so he hovers over your face. Pushing his lips against yours that desperately gasp for air, he pushes the tonic into your mouth, forcing you to swallow it.  He keeps his hand on the back of your head so you don't pull away from him and waste the medicine.

Once the foul liquid is out of his mouth, into yours and properly swallowed, you cough and recoil from the taste when he pulls away from you. He swipes his palm under his chin, wiping away the trails of medicine that didn't make it to you.

Ayato once again lays you down gently, pulling the blanket up to your shoulders to keep the chills of fever away. He takes one of his gloves off, setting it aside and places his palm on your forehead. It was on fire. He winces at the clammy, hot feeling of your skin against his. 

“If only I was able to pinpoint why this keeps happening to you,” he laments. Your breathing, while harsh, evens out as you slip into a fever induced state of sleep. He hopes that the illness doesn’t cause you nightmares. With a deep breath, his hand slips from your forehead to brush against your hair in a weak attempt to soothe you. “Just as before, I’ll make sure your recovery is swift.” 

And just as the two years before, during your bedrest and hazy moments of consciousness, Ayato has his work moved into the recovery room in which you rest so that he can spend as much time beside you as he can. It makes him too anxious- leaving you on your own. The room is private for this very reason, and no one can talk him out of these actions- not even Thoma. 

You never remember falling so deathly ill when you finally start recovering- or, at least you haven't in the years prior; it's all just a long, blacked out memory.

You never remember Ayato tending to you as often as he can. You never know that your deep, struggling breaths become the only noise he pays attention to. You never know that when he gets accustomed to your ragged breathing, he holds your wrist in his palm so he continues to feel your pulse ebb over his touch. You never know how he looks up at the sky at night while he grips your hand tightly in his, hoping he won’t see any shooting stars that he fears might carry you away. 

It was the dawn of the fourth day since you had fallen ill and the anniversary of your arrival had passed. Thoma and Ayaka had both gone out and purchased two small trinkets for you as both a get well presents and also to commemorate your years with them. Ayato would do the same once you were awake, aware and healthy again just as he has in the past. Perhaps a good luck charm centered around health would be an ideal purchase.

Ayato’s temporary work desk, one much smaller than his office desk in the office, was already filled with paperwork and open books to scrawl in when he heard two knocks on the door. No doubt it was Thoma coming to check on both of his friends. 

“You may enter,” he grants. As he suspects, Thoma’s face slides into view with the opening of the plain doors. “Good morning, Thoma,” he greets without lifting his face from his work. Partly because work did have his attention for the most part, but also because he was probably sporting some nasty eyebags that the pyro wielder would scold him about. 

“Same to you, my lord. Are you hungry? I’ll have breakfast ready in no time.” Ayato only nods along to Thoma’s whims even if his appetite hasn’t been the biggest the last four days. Thoma moves to kneel in front of your still unconscious body. Placing his hand on your forehead, replacing a cold rag there, and checking your pulse he nods to himself. “I’ll bring some more medicine for y/n while I’m at it. They seem to already be doing better. That’s much faster than last year!” 

That was true. Last year it was a week before you started showing any signs of improvement. Ayato’s shoulders relax a bit at that fact. 

“You really shouldn’t stress out so much, my lord.” Thoma looks at the small space between your head and Ayato’s place sitting at his temporary workspace. “I know you’re worried, we all are. Still, if y/n ever finds out that you always push yourself so much when she gets sick, she might feel guilty about it.” 

Ayato halts all his actions and lets out a deep breath. He knows Thoma’s right, but it wasn’t like he could just not care. 

“I’m not saying you’re not allowed to care,” it’s like Thoma could read Ayato’s mind sometimes. “We all just wish you’d take better care of your health too. Y/n will recover, she always does. So please, try not to worry too much.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Thoma.” The housekeeper dismisses himself with a small quip and when the door shuts and Ayato is left alone with you again, he deflates. Placing his items down, he shifts and reaches over to brush his fingers over your bangs that were damp from the fresh cold cloth on your forehead. 

Later that day, Thoma visits once again only this time, he’s brought an additional party member. Or rather, two. 

“Ayato, we’re here to visit y/n.” Paimon announces as she floats in beside Aether and behind Thoma. Ayato feels astonished to see the blond and also somehow conflicted at his visit. Perhaps it was just his imagination, and he was more tired than he thought. 

Thoma excuses himself to leave you all alone so he could tend to his own work. Aether takes a seat next to your body while Ayato dismisses himself from work for the duration of however long Aether plans to stay. He feels antsy. It's irritating.

“How is she?” Aether asks. 

“Improving. This happens annually.” 

“Does she have some kind of illness?” Paimon asks. 

“We’re not sure. No one has been able to identify exactly the cause of her collapsing like this. It’s always around this time of year, but it doesn’t last long enough to become fatal.” 

“How weird,” Paimon worries. 

A small conversation between the three of them begins easily and Ayato is soon changing your towel again. Aether and Paimon are near astonished seeing the commissioner remove his gloves to tend to you. In fact, they were shocked he was taking this so seriously if it has happened before and doesn’t risk your life. They expected him to worry of course, they know Ayato isn't heartless- but he was taking it so seriously. Like you really could die.

Ayato’s fingers run briefly through your hair when he draws back from placing the freshly squeezed towel on your forehead and dabbing your face of sweat. 

“Say, Aether,” he starts yet another conversation while looking towards you instead of his guest. Bad manners aside, Aether hums back at the call of attention. “You come from beyond Teyvat, correct?” The blond swallows. 

“I do.” There was no point in hiding it if Ayato already knew. Of course he did, it seems like he always has access to knowledge that is basically pointless to him. 

“Y/n once told me that you both have many things in common. Being far from home was an example of such a bond.” Finally lifting his gaze and straightening his posture, the commissioner looks Aether in his eyes. “Is there a chance y/n is also from beyond Teyvat. A place we of the common folk could never reach?” 

Aether knows the answer. Of course that was the truth, but he has no right to explain that in your stead. It was something you had to do yourself. 

“I couldn’t say,” was the answer Ayato received. “Why not ask her about it when she recovers. I’m sure she’d be willing.” 

“Perhaps,” he muses dismissively. You hadn’t opened up to him about your home for three years at this point. Why would you suddenly do so now? Then again, maybe it was because he wasn’t fully open with you either. It was a challenge opening up to anyone, but maybe if he explains your position in his life- your significance- you’d be more willing...?

Ayato looks up at the sky outside the room. It was late afternoon and soon the sun would be setting. Would you wake up tomorrow? He hopes so. 

Aether and Paimon stay at the residence for dinner. Ayato is persuaded to join them, Thoma and Ayaka all for a big joint meal. You were left with a trusted attendant until Ayato could return and while he knows you're in good hands, he still couldn’t focus. He even drops his chopsticks a few times when his mind began to wander for too long causing his grip to slacken. 

After a good meal, and a politely declined offer of staying over the duration of the night, the Kamisatos' see Aether and Paimon off. Free from the binds of being a good host, Ayato makes haste back to your side to dismiss the attendant tending to you as well as settle the anxiety in his chest that comes with being away from you. 

Oh, how he wishes you’ll wake up tomorrow.

a/n pt.2: oh the woes of be infected with isekai sickness. rest in pieces but did you see that he kisSeD-

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[pilfappreciator]

ATTENTION TROLLS FANDOM!!

This is very important. Mostly to me but maybe you guys have been wondering this too idk but anyways:

How does troll reproduction work exactly?

Cuz I'm genuinely curious. I dont think anyone on the series production team has said anything and so far I've seen absolutely no one touch on this subject but as someone who's always had an interest in the habits of creatures (both fictional or otherwise), I kinda sorta maybe NEED to know this otherwise I'll never be able to sleep peacefully again

Full disclaimer that I'm specifically talking about the whole egg situation, I am NOT ASKING HOW THEY GET IT ON IF I WANTED THAT ANSWER I'D GO TO DEVIANT ART OR TWITTER OR WHATEVER LAWLESS PLATFORM GOD STEERS CLEAR OF. This discussion shall remain STRICTLY educational, thank you very much

But anywho. Let's dive in

So trolls come from eggs. This is basic knowledge. First instance of this phenomenon (as far as I know, I've only seen the movies) is from World Tour.

Egg pops out of Guy Diamond's hair, egg hatches and BOOM, (literal) baby. Now I understand that this whole sequence was probably just a gag and a way for DreamWorks to implement another (merchandisable) addition to the cast HOWEVER this sequence also raises a few questions

First off, as far as I know Guy Diamond has no partner (again: I haven't watched any of the spinoff shows). Either that or maybe the other troll was a sorta one-night-stand/no-longer-in-his-life kinda situation? Which is great either way cuz its shown he obviously cares for his son and we at Tumblr appreciate a loving single father no matter the circumstances, but if my former theory is correct than that would imply that trolls are capable of reproducing asexually. Like onions.

Now if that hypothesis is, as they call it, "cap" then that would mean that some sorta hanky panky has to go down before an egg comes into question. And if that's the case, does this mean that male trolls are traditionally the ones who carry the eggs?

But that can't be right, can it? Afterall, World Tour gave us yet ANOTHER egg scene later on in the movie

In Cooper's flashback, we clearly see Queen Essence being the one carrying the eggs meanwhile King Quincy is eggless. Now, as far as i see it, this could be explained either one of four ways:

1) Quincy was the one who actually produced the eggs and Essence is merely holding them for her husband (since her hair seems more fitting to be a makeshift nest compared to Quincy's)

2) Female trolls are the ones who produce the eggs. Guy Diamond is just a trans icon

3) Troll reproduction differs from genre to genre

4) There is a... *sighs* a/b/o type of dynamic among troll kind where certain trolls are capable of giving birth/siring children depending on a secondary gender

In regards to theory #3, this could also explain why Guy Diamond seems to reproduce and hatch an egg in such a short amount of time (like 5 seconds I'm pretty sure) as opposed to Queen Essence/King Quincy who's eggs presumably went a while longer before actually hatching.

Actually, speaking off eggs, are trolls the only species in their world that reproduce that way?

Because now that Band Together has officially been released, we now know for certain that it's possible for different species to crossbreed. Biggest example? Resident DILF Bruce and his giant muppet wife

(Credit to @captainunderkrupp )

When I saw these two... I swear...

And these two already have a shit ton of kids okay so like... either Brandi was the one giving birth or trollsona Daveed Digs was over here pumpin out eggs, which I mean-

DO YOU SEE HOW BIG THESE THINGS ARE COMPARED TO BRANCH AND POPPY?? Believe me I am PRAYING that Bruce gave himself some serious maternity/paternity leave because my guy is honestly a trooper

But yeah any thoughts? :))

[asmutwriter]

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 6)

DESCRIPTION: You complete your first business ordeal as a Shelby family member. Your husband, Thomas, wants to thank you for your effort.

A/N: Was this section of smut overly necessary or was I just horny when I wrote this part? I guess we'll never know

WORD COUNT: 2510

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: swearing, blackmail, mild sexism, threat, talk of murder, drinking, sex whilst drunk (able to consent), smut, rough sex, no foreplay, mild breeding kink, pet names (love/sir), creampie, overstimluation, mild dacryphilia

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story does not follow the timeline of the show

Not been proof read - part may change slightly once I've proof read it

The clock chimes 8pm. You take in a breath. You and Tommy had parted ways since you discussion earlier this afternoon. Going about your business during the day. Due to him unable to find a different plan you were going with your choice. So here you were. Standing outside the garrison. You take a deep breath. Going inside you see a man sitting at a table. Looking smug as he drinks a pint.

You go over, putting on a false smile as you sit opposite him. His eyes meet yours before going over your body. His tongue darts out slightly as he smiles. You place your hands on the table, one hand over the other as you keep eye contact with him as hes finished checking you out. "Harry Thompson correct?" he nods "I have some business Id like to discuss with you" he chuckles slightly

"And you are?" he says in an almost mocking tone

"Sorry, where are my manners?" you hold your hand out for him to shake "Mrs Florence Shelby" he laughs again. Taking your hand and shaking it. You place yours back ontop of the one still resting on the table.

"So which one are you married to?"

"Does that matter?"

"I want to know which one sent you to do their dirty work"

"They didnt send me. They dont even know Im here" he nods, leaning back in his chair.

"WHat is it youd like to discuss then?"

"Id like to discuss your children. You have 5 I believe" he laughs

"I have 3. But carry on" a smirk on his face as you keep his eye contact

"Youre right. You and your wife have three children. Alfie, Anna, and William. But if you include the two children you had with your mistress then you have five"

"I dont know what you're talking about"

"So you dont know who Robert and Michael are? Or Rose, your mistress who had your children?" his smile drops. Eyes on yours as you continue talking "they live in London correct?" he goes to stand up

"My business isnt with you its with them" he stands

"SIt down Mr Thompson"

"I dont have to speak to one of their whores. Because that is exactly what you are"

"I said sit down Mr Thompson. Or I start screaming" he looks at you as you keep eye contact with him "how do you think thatll go for you? Given the current location we are in" he keeps looking at you, staying standing. You lean marginely closer to him, hushing your voice slightly so only he can hear you. "You may think you have this city wrapped around your finger but if any of the men in this building think you laid a hand on Thomas SHelby's wife then you better start digging your own grave" he takes in a deep breath. Sitting back down again.

"What is it you want?" he asks, a slight anger in his voice.

"I want you and your men to leave. The same conditionings my husband wants in fact" he grits his teeth

"And if I refuse?"

"One of my men goes and has a little visit to your family. The one up in London. The one we both know you care the most about. And slaughters them. One by one" his eyes dart around the room. You can sense the amount of fear going through his body. "If you leave then both of your families will remain safe. I wont tell my husband about Rose and your sons". You put your hand out for him to shake "do we have a deal?". He looks at you. Your calm behaviour being very different to the anxiety you feel welling up in your body. He reaches a hand out. Taking yours and shaking on the deal.

"Good decision. I'll give you until midnight tonight to leave this place. If you arent out by then... well, you know what'll happen" you smile at him. Standing up "Have a good night Mr Thompson" you leave the pub. Getting back home you open the front door. Taking your coat off and hanging it up. You can hear your husbands voice in the building next door. Given your previous experience of evesdropping you decide that it wouldnt be the best idea. Instead you retire early to bed. taking out a book you start reading.

You place the book down on your bedside table. Unsure of how late it is. But feeling dreadfully thirsty. You try settling down to sleep. Dehydration catching up to you. You mumble slightly as you get out of bed. Heading downstairs. Grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen to head back upstairs. You notice the living room light on.

Poking your head around the corner you see your husband. Whisley in hand as he watches the liquid swirl in the glass. "Mr Shelby?". His eyes look at you. The blue standing out among the darknessof the room. You step inside slightly. Seeing his jacket and waistcoat discarded on the sofa. "It appears to have gone well with Mr Thompson". He nods. Sipping his drink. Placing it onto the counter top he stands up.

"Go back to bed Flo. I'll be up shortly". His voice quiet. You nod. Turning back around. Going up the stairs. Reaching the top step you hear the living room door shut. Looking down the stairs to see darkness. You look downwards. Letting out a soft sigh as you head to your bedroom. Shutting the door and getting under the warm covers.

You wake up the next morning. Letting out a soft groan as you sit up. Hearing happy voices downstairs. Unsual given the normal tone of voice your new family has. AWare of the cold spot next to you. Not unsuaul. He sometimes stayed downstairs or in his own room next door.

You get out of bed. Wrapping your dressing gown round your body as you hear multiple voices. Heading into the living room you see your husband and his brothers. The three of them drinking and smoking. You fold your arms over your torso. Aware that you are still in your night clothes.

Arthur is the first to spot you. Coming over to you. The smell of alcohol on his breath. "Tommy told us what you did. That you helped Harry to fuck off" you chuckle slightly

"I suppose you could put it like that" you smile as he hugs you. Your arms going to your sides. Hanging awkwardly. Moving away he holds up his drink

"To Mrs SHelby"

"Ayy Mrs Shelby" you hear John call out. Your smile growing slightly as they drink their drinks in unison.

"Alright you two. Go on. We've still got stuff we need to be doing over in the shop. I'll be over in a bit". They both down their drinks. Heading past you. Them both smiling widely at you as you hear the front door go. Tommy titls his head as he looks at you. Then heading to his bottle of whiskey he grabs out a second glass. Topping up his one before puring you one. Walking over to you he hands you the fresh glass.

"I take it the plan worked?"

"Harry Thompson left late last night. He was seen getting into a car and driving off with his belongings". He clinks his glass to yours "Well done to your first official business ordeal. You're offically a Shelby" Taking a sip his drink as a soft smile appears on your face. His eyes watching yours as you do the same with the glass. Him standing about a foot away from you. You get the scent of whiskey and smoke from him.

"Thats excellent new Mr Shelvy. I'm glad the plan worked"

"As am I"

"What time did you find out he'd gone?"

"Early this morning. John and Arthur came round to tell me. We decided to celebrate the victory and have been celebrating since" you chuckle slightly. His mind only seeming to have noticed your nigthdress. He glances downwards. Trailing his eyes over the fabric before bringing them back up to meet yours.

He downs the rest of his drink. Placing his glass on the small coffee table. Standing straight again he closes the gap between you. His hand coming up to cup your face. Moving his thumb over your lips. Your cheeks going a soft shade of crimson at the affection. Your eyes still fixed on his. "Drink. Got to celebrate this victory, ey?". You smile, turning your head to the side slightly as you down your drink. He takes the opportunity to start kissing yur neck.

You let out a satisified sigh. Feeling his hand take the now empty galss from you. Hearing the soft clink as he places it onto the coffee table. His hands going to your hips as he holds you close to him. Feeling him start to grow in his trousers. The thin fabric of your night dress leaving very little to the imagination for the both of you. He unties the loose knot in the front of your gown. Pulling it off your shoulders and discarding it onot the floor. One hand snaking your waist. The other coming up and gripping at your breasts. His lips attacking your neck as he begins to massage your boob.

Your hands come up. Gently going to the side of his head. Reminvg it from your neck. Making him look at you "Mr Shelby... we cant here... my sisters..."

"You are my wife. And this is my house. Where else do ypu propose I can fuck you, ey?"

"But what if they see us...?" you whisper "Or even hear us for that matter?"

"I'll be quick" his hands moves from your chest where it was happy resting. Resting it over your mouth as he lowers his voice "All you have to do is not make a sound..." a soft whimper escapes your lips. Causing him to grin. His hands both drop to your hips. Forcibly turning you around. Pushing you to armchair in the room. Your hands going to the back of it as a means to not fall over. Your knees hit the plush seat. He rakes up your dress. Holding it up with one hand as he unbuttons his trousers. You hear him spit, seconds later feeling him rubbing his palm over your core. You whine out. Knees going up onto the chair as you push your hips back into his touch.

A few seconds later and he plunges himself into you. The lack of foreplay making the strecth almost unbearable. Causing you to cry out. The hand holding your night dress up moves. Snaking around your waist as he pulls you flush against him. Holding you up as the other hand covers your mouth. He turns your head to look at him. His dull nails digging into the flesh of your cheeks as you feel tears coming to your eyes. He comfortingly sushes you. Giving you a little bit of time to adjust before he starts to move his hips into yours. The pain going through your body quickly turning to pleasure as you cunt quickly adjusts to him. Your hands come up to his arm wrapped around you. Gripping at him.

Holding onto him for dear life as he continuesly plunges his cock in and out of your needy hole. You shut your eyes. Feeling the tears from your eyes fall down your cheeks. But you dont care. Your so focused on him filling you out that you dont care about the tears staining your cheeks. The dull pain between your thighs. The truly vulnerable and submissive state hes put you in. You only care about him. About how good he feels inside of you. And about how close hes managed to get you to your high.

"SUch a good girl for me. Letting me fuck this pretty cunt of yours. Fill you up with my seed. You deserve it, love. Being such a good wife. You deserve to be filled with my cum".

You subconsciously tighten around his words. Although you cant see it, you can feel the grin adorning his face. The hand from your mouth moves. Causing you to open your eyes. Being met with his dark, borderline sadistic gaze. A soft whine leaves your lips as you try and remain quiet. His thrusts slowing slightly.

Your hands come up. Moving from his arms to hold at his face as a feeble 'please' escapes your lips. A few more tears fall down your cheeks. His thumb quickly wiping them away, resting it gently onto your shoulder as he watches your eyes. Fresh tears quickly appearing as you can feel your high slowly drifiting away from you. His thrusts slow but continueus.

"Please sir...". he brushes the hair from your face. Tucking it behind your ear before placing his hand back over your mouth. Your arm goes around his neck as he continues to hold you flush against his body. Your other hand going to his wrist.

He starts thrusting at a godly speed. You practcily scream. Digging your nails into the flesh f his wrist. He kisses your shoulder. Grunting as he pushes himself deep inside of you. Feeling his cum hit your walls. You feel your hips start to spasm. Your own orgasm hitting you. Helping to milk him dry as he mutters a soft 'fuck' against you. His blunt nails digging into the softness of your cheeks as you tighten around him. You shut your eyes. A few more tears trailing down your face as you come down from your high.

His hand going from your mouth to gently brush the liquid away. You reac your hands out. STeadying yourself on the chair again as he pulls out of you. Watching his seed fall from your folds. He collects the jucies onto his tip. Pushing them back into your hole. You whine out in discomfort. Overstimulation and the dull ache being to much for you. But he thrusts a few more times before pulling out fully. Bringing your nightdress down to cover your intimate part before he puts himself back int his trousers.

Your breathing becomes steady again. Resting down into the chair. Feeling his hand brush your hair out of your face. You open your eyes. A tired smile on your face as you meet his blue eyes. "I have some work to do" you nod. Turning so you can stand up. Him steadying you as you wobble slightly. A slight smirk on his face. Knowing that hes the reason for your unsteadyiness. But your to cock drunk to care at this moment in time.

"I'll see you later then Mr Shelby" he smiles. Nodding as he lets your arm go. Going to the front door as yu hear it bang behind him. Quickly followed by the sound of his voice next door. You give yourself a few more minutes before getting up off the chair. Going upstairs to get dressed.

Previous / Next

TAGS

@whorecrux-of-slytherin @kkrenae @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo

[mrs-monaghan]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrs-monaghan/726485076049821696/see?source=share

Thank you for calming some of my fears about this. This is stressing me out so much 😖

Do you have anything Jikook to share? It doesn't have to be about this, I just need some comfort right now.

This is really not something to bother you leave alone stress you? Antis annoy me yeah, but I never let them get to me. Ever. I refuse to let ANYONE affect my BTS experience. Leave alone my Jikook experience. I know what I know, have seen what I've seen, and it will take Jikook themselves to make me stop believing they're a couple. Not some rats on the Internet waiting to shit on Jikook any chance they get.

🙅🏽‍♀️

Of course there will always be Jikook moments to talk about. I'll throw some random shit at you. How's that? 😆😆

Random shit No.1 -> I made a post here about JK's type and Jimin's lips keep popping up on every sm recently so they've been on my mind. Which is y I remembered a tiny thing from Bon Voyage season 1 ep 1. Keeping in mind Jin and Jimin are the 2 members with full lips (and RM some but not as much as Jinmin) it would make perfect sense that they are the 2 JK would zoom in on when interviewing them

Thanks editors for the caption. 😜

Random shit No.2 -> Remember this post I made about Jikook living together, remember how I said it was weird Jimin was the only one who didn't have anywhere to live? Well recently this Karmy was talking about how hard it was for Jimin to leave his dorm life since he loves being around BTS sm

Then this Kjikooker chimmed in on how JK bought Jimin an apartment to make him feel better 🥺🥺🥺

So guess the theory is that JK is the one who bought Nine-one for them seeing as they were both living there. I mean if anyone should know its fans who live there, right?

When u really think about it, it all comes together because JK moving into Brunnen... a house owned by the company with furniture from the old dorm...proving just how temporary that place is...which again makes sense coz of the house he's building in Itaewon.....

While we are on topic, there is a moment missing on my living together post but we all know it very well.

If you pay close attention to Jimin you will notice him subtly lifting his eyebrow. Its so subtle that idek how people noticed. JK looks at Jimin while members are laughing at him and Jimin does that. 🤭 So yeah, that coupled up with the fact that they were all making fan of JK and his mattresses but Jimin who under normal circumstances would be part of the discussion was quiet as a church mouse. That was incredibly sus.

Random shit number 3-> is a tiny BV analysis coz we know how much i love those. Okay so JK climbs up a steep hill without cameras at the crack of dawn to get his baby some snow. We know all about that. So tkkrs the morons that they are, tried to claim this moment for themselves because JK showed the snow to V first and offered him to touch if he wanted to. But, aside from JK waiting for Jimin to come out, apart from him jumping up eagerly to show Jimin the snow, apart from him watching Jimin's face to see his reaction when he handed him said snow, and apart from editors saying point blank that JK got a gift for Jimin, we also have this;

Season 4 episode 3. Members play RPS and losers have to climb the hill and bring back snow.

Someone i dont remember who, says that the snow will melt

But JK who's a professional of bringing snow from mountains by now, chims in

He already knows its not gonna melt since he did it before. Now he says that and then looks at Jimin and keeps looking at him

Doesn't once break eye contact. This here makes it perfectly clear that he got the snow for Jimin and no one else. JK stares at his boyfriend for so long that Jimin has to look away/looks down 😂😂

And JK still looking at him 🤭🤭 This dude just makes me so happy to watch Jikookery stg 🤣🤣 what does he want from Jimin?

Random shit No.4 -> while we are talking about BV there is something that happens i had to take note of. Yoonmin are the ones who lost and had to go up the hill to get the snow. When the rest got back to the cabin, Jhope was making people this magic toast with his secret recipe. This shit was so funny y'all should be able to remember it. He was so proud of it 🤣🤣 Anyway, when Yoonmin got back, Jhope asked Jimin if he wanted his special toast.

But here comes the kicker. Jhope uses JK to convince Jimin to have the toast.

This, ladies and gentlemen are the reflexes i was talking about. It's not just Jikook keeping the secret that they are dating. It's the members too. And sometimes they will slip. Our president being the main culprit. 🤭🤭🤭 what does it matter that JK liked the toast? Suga and Jin had the toast too. Why is JK the member he uses to appeal to Jimin?

Random shit No.5 -> Is just this edit I like of Jimin having JK on a leash 😏😏

Random shit No.6 -> Is this photo of JK looking at Jimin.

That man is gone. His mind was elsewhere right then. Jeon Jungkook is a man in fucking love y'all. 😭😭😭😭

What's that? Different angle you say? Sure fam, I got you.

Random shit No.7 -> BH saying fuck you to the haters.

Random shit number 8 -> Jikook in Tokyo. The gift that keeps on giving. Here is a fan recounting

Here is that one time members were asked:

One more time from Jikook 🤗🤗

He he hee... and we have heard them call eo that many, many times.

Random shit No.9 -> NBD just sassy bfs in the soop

This is mostly for those who think Jimin is the only one who exudes this type of energy. 💅🏽💅🏽

Random shit No.10 -> This post wouldn't be complete without us going to the bedroom. 😏 Anygays, here is how Jikook look like when they're shouting in each other's briefcases

That is all... hope u feel better now... have a good one ✌🏽😘

[crepesuzette2023]

I dont think I've ever heard the take that girl seems to be about Paul, I mean, it makes sense absolutely, but can you expand some more?

Gladly, Anon.

Rob Sheffield (Dreaming the Beatles) said he thinks Girl is about Paul in this episode of @anotherkindofmindpod. The episode is actually an in-depth discussion of In My Life, but Girl came up a number of times, since it's also on Rubber Soul.

I thought Sheffield's statement was interesting, and not in a silly “John saw Paul as a girl” kind of way.

Summarizing mercilessly, and taking a few steps back before returning to Girl:

RS argues that Rubber Soul marks a moment when the Beatles’ songwriting moved from a commercial/craft perspective towards a more open/confessional/personal tone, In My Life being an example of this, with John examining his feelings for all his friends and lovers, and singling out a new kind of love that transcends the loves he’s known before. According to RS and the hosts, In My Life is not only addressed to Paul (I personally feel it could also be about Julian, or about both; as someone who writes, I really feel the “a piece of art is never about just one thing” argument)— it also, by summoning a group of dear people and openly expressing his feelings for them, emulates Paul, who, in John’s eyes, is the more extrovert and socially comfortable of the two. The song is a two-fold tribute.

Girl, still according to RS, forms a matched pair with In My Life, because it, too, concerns complex and intimate emotions; in this case being unsettled by a complex, alluring and confusing person (Paul/the girl). It's a non-generic, specific, highly personal song you wouldn't have found on earlier albums. (You Won’t See Me is Paul’s reply to John.)

Whether you agree with these interpretations or not (by the way, instead of trusting my summary, it’s probably a better idea to listen to RS and the hosts in their own words), I’m happy to see the acknowledgment of the depth of John and Paul's relationship.

RS also makes a beautiful point about If I Fell (which, as we know, John saw as a continuation of In My Life): That John and Paul, as always, tell the truth about each other by the way they sing together.

(Cue the If I Fell/marriage vows quote from Gould’s Beatles bio).

Ian Leslie (no introduction needed) was more direct in his “Hidden Gems” episode on @onesweetdreampodcast. He stated he believes that If I Fell was written for Paul, commemorating their Paris ‘honeymoon’.

And look—people are free to go as far as they want in how they interpret all this, but I personally feel it liberates and elevates the discussion of their songwriting and relationships to include the romantic love or friendship or X or [redacted] or 'tender and tempestuous' but ‘not sexual as far as we know’ relationship between John and Paul as one of its many possible inspirations.

It just feels silly to me to ignore it or act all offended at the mere suggestion.

And when RS writes in Dreaming the Beatles “For John, Paul was the boy who came to stay; for Paul, John was the song he couldn’t make better,” it just feels right.

My two cents.

P.S. When I'm inclined to accept that Girl is about Paul, I immediately want to ask follow-up questions. Because this is a song about a fraught relationship, right? In what sense did John try to leave Paul? In what sense did Paul promise him the earth and cry? I know it doesn't have to be literally true, but some extrapolation, please? This didn't happen in the episode—obviously, since its focus was another song, In My Life. PPS: I wrote this in a bit of a hurry so feel free to get back to me for clarifications, etc.

[ganondoodle]

I am sorry to hear that the depression has stolen your spark.

I want you to know that you are the sole reason I gave Skyward Sword a chance. Your art was so beautiful and compelling that I just had to know about the media it came from.

Your art introduced me to an incredible community that years later, I am still benefitting from. Your art was the gateway, and I've always been thankful to you for that.

I hope your spark realights, and I hope you can kick depression right in its ass.

i- i did that????? qoq

yes im reviving old reaction pictures

i hope im not ruining the mood bc .. this legitimately made me tear up and i kept thinking of this ever since receiving the ask-

but bc i cant keep my mouth shut (i apologize if you are already well aware of all this i just .. like to talk i guess), i ... idk i have said this before but i feel incredibly conflicted about demise (am i allowed to like him??? do i even like him when i changed him so much??? am i a fraud fan????) and the game he comes from, i .. dont actually like skyward sword that much, or, not as much as it may seem like (my favorite is windwaker, second is botw), every now and then i even feel guilty for demise being my blorbo tm- as much as i love him im under no illusion what his introduction to the series did, the games lore is not .. great, it seems to have kickstarted the decline of the series writing and completely torpedoed any sort of fandom discussion by making zelda a literal reincarnation of the good tm gods of love and light and peace and everything good tm uwu and pit her against an evil demonnnnn that just crawled out the earth one day (??) and was only evil and bad and dark and hate incarnate an hated the good tm gods bc hes jsut so eviiiil, it gave rise to the utter dissmissal of any sort of ganondorf related discussions (funny how it only seems to apply to ganondorf, and none of the other villains hmmmmmmmmmmmm) bc, while not confirmed confirmed (though the fandom likes to pretend that), hes now widely seen as a reincarnation of demise and thus, doesnt need nuance or be given any grace or thought bc apparently when you say someone is a demon (or its reincarnation, which i dont believe ganondorf is, to be clear) that means its fine to not give them any thought bc demons are just evil tm and thats ok and good writing actually (wat????)

(if you take skysw as canonically how it all went down bc my interpretation makes it all be a fabricated lie so the gods can play their little games, there is no godess reincarnation, that was a lie to make way for an opressive kingdom belivieing itself to be irrevocably good no matter what they do etc)

it also cheapens any of the past entries, all of them have been flattened by this, why disscuss ganondorfs motivation lol, he just be a demon/demons puppet, zelda could never be wrong or do bad things bc she literal incarnation of goodness uwu etc- (and then totk, only the second game after skysw, retreads its points and makes it even worse while ALSO trampeling over that game imo)

i dont like saying it, but i do feel a little alienated even from ganondorf fans (i love him too!!!!!) bc they hate demise, and rightfully so, it feels weird having your main blorbo be the reason your second fav is constantly done dirty, why you cant even talk about anything critically bc 'iTs jUst a sIMpLe fAiRytALe' now and part of the reason the lore in general has gone to shit, and i dont know how much i can talk about that before i become an obnoxious 'well ACTUALLY my blorbo, who is the reason for all this, is ALSO done dirty and im gonna explain away the bad stuff via my completely noncanon reinterpretation-' guy, or if i already am what im doing with destiny is like .. my way of trying to fix it and make it interesting again? though at this point i guess im falling into the category of people who change their blorbo so much that there really isnt anythign left of the og, which worries me alot, though i wonder if thats even possible given how little there is to him in the first place, i so often see viral posts that make me feel guilty or conflicted for the way i work with media, "actually my blorbo did all those crimes and thats good you all who need to explain away the bad things are weak and annoying!!" "people who change their favs until they barely resemble the character anymore should just make an oc instead!!"-

i dont know if i take these types of posts too literally, i dont know when or how they apply, but it always circles around in my head, i know not everyone can like what you do, but i want to work with the material i have in an interesting way, not a puritanical way (or however you call that), its not in my mind every second, but it nevertheless makes me doubt what i do with my fanworks anytime i talk about them-

... this wasnt really the point of the message was it ... apologies, i hope not every ask will devolve into a sort of mini rant ;__; i dont mean to invalidate what you said, (and im not saying skyward sword is all bad, its full of charm, from characters to designs, just the lore is .. damaging) it is incredibly touching bc me or my art having a positive impact on people blindsides me every single time like "WHAT??? IMPOSSIBLE you MUST be thinking of someone else, no way i could do that", when something gets brought up my thoughts just kinda start pouring out, i thought about deleting everything i wrote, but then felt like that wouldnt be as genuine anymore (i am not normal tm after all and im long past a point pretending otherwise) and have wasted another hour for nothing, so im gonne leave it in and hope, pray even, it comes across correctly

q-q

[sky-is-the-limit]

I like König purely becuase tall masked man but Gaz. Our man Gaz. He's beautiful. He's committed to what he believes in and he delivers some good one liners. In my eyes it's the same shit different fandom. Whenever a popular piece of media gains traction the only poc characters mysteriously disappear. I want to make it clear to the finicky people of fandoms you don't have to read or write or draw characters you don't like.That being said a discussion needs to be had about how fandoms often treat poc characters. To see people replace the main character with someone not even evolved in the main campaign is mind boggling. "But I don't know Gaz well enough" then you don't know Price well enough seeing as they're with each other most of the campaign. "But the actors sexuality" let me tell yall now how yall don't care. There's plenty of actors whose characters you write for are married with whole ass families or of a different sexuality and you still write their characters ignoring those facts. Yall didn't care before and yall dont care now don't try and act like you have some sort of upper ground. If you're not attracted to Gaz that's fine no one is forcing you to be. But completely writing out his character or not including him in TF 141 edits is mad. There's plenty of fics I've read where Gaz is not the main love interest but more of a friend/brotherly figure but at least he is there and the writer does his character justice. But I will say the Gaz fics are some of the fluffiest ones I've read. Real heart warming stuff.

AMEN. I also thirst after König because he's a big masked man, I devour all the smut content and the edits, I'm as thirsty as the next hoe in this place, there's nothing wrong with thirsting after König or Keegan or whoever else. There's also nothing wrong with NOT thirsting after Gaz, like no one is forcing someone to like a character they don't, that's just stupid. Also if you haven't played the games because you don't have access to do so or even don't want to that's totally valid and fine, many people read the wikis/watch vids/engage with the fandom and that's really cool to see, even if you're just here to thirst, been there done that.

With that being said, the stupid excuses that raise concern in this fandom are totally valid to be talked about. 1) "I'm not attracted to Gaz/I don't add him in 141 thirst content because Elliot is gay" What does the actor's sexuality have to do with the character? As far as I know Gaz' sexuality is nowhere discussed or confirmed, same way for the rest of the characters so why on earth does Elliot's sexuality matter in this context?

I don't see this being a big deal to people who ship Ghost x Soap since Neil and Samuel are only involved with women irl because guess what? It.doesn't.matter. They're ACTORS. Their personal lives have nothing to do with the characters they portray so why is it only an issue when it comes to Gaz/Elliot?

2) "I don't know him well enough." From that it's clear that you haven't played the games cause Gaz is literally who you play as in both MW1/MW2 so you know him as much as Price and MORE than Ghost or Soap. Which again, it's totally fine but when it's paired with König who you literally don't know cause that mf has only 1 paragraph on his wiki and the only thing said about him is that he had anxiety growing up (that some people infantilize and it's weird) in freaking 141 content that he has NOTHING to do with but leave out the first member of TF141 then...?

I've had many people under my posts commenting that the way some people treat Gaz in this fandom feels kinda racist and I admit this was not my initial thought due to me being privileged enough to not have it as such but after reading all these comments it does seem that way for some (like I said many do it due to either thirsting after masked men or haven't played/bothered with the games) and it's not fucking okay cause that goes further than fiction (someone said that 'oh they're fictional, they don't care if they're included or not' yeah Emily but you're excluding a 141 member from 141 content who happens to be a poc and his VA/FA is a gay man so let's talk about it.)

To the people who get annoyed/upset that I talk about this as if I don't have the right to, if you're in a fandom you can talk about the things you don't like/criticise certain behaviour without it being "such a big deal" since we're talking about fictional characters, when people are engaging with a fandom, spend hours reading/watching/playing content, they're also allowed to talk about things they don't like in said fandom. Relax.

Anyway, stan Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick cause he's the coolest mf in MW ✌️

[tirfpikachu]

as someone who has a complete distrust of anyone who labels themselves as radfems since they seem to be (at least a loud minority on every platform) straight up right-wing and racist, thank you for reminding me that some of yall are sane and normal. i don't consider myself a radical feminist by any means and i still dont want to touch the radfem community w a 10ft pole (im a transmasc lesbian of colour... i just cant trust it) but its cool to know theres some people who are normal over there. rock on

THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I RARELY GET SUPPORT FROM YOUR SIDE OF THE TUNGLR BORDER SO I TRULY REALLY APPRECIATE IT 🙏 this made me smile so much!

i really am trying very hard to build my lil corner of radblr and encourage nuance, as well as fighting bigotry and tradwife type shit within radfem spaces! i'm trying to make people realize that all marginalized folks can learn to be better allies to one another, while still acknowledging afab/female-specific oppression & celebrating all kinds of gayness, including exclusive same-sex (agab) attraction; aka what's traditionally been called homosexuality. i want to welcome everyone who directly faces or has faced misogyny irl into complex feminist discussions in good faith without aggression, without slurs or unnecessary personal attacks. i want radfem/nuancefem talks to involve terms like male/female as purely sex-based terms like amab/afab, and for trans men to not be any less of a man in society just bc they're female, and ofc for trans women to be as much my sisters as any cis/bio woman so long as they still recognize their male/amab upbringing, and show equal respect to me & my specific struggles as a female person. i have had incredible talks with all kinds of folks in my server! from transmasc radfems to the most wonderful transfem allies, and some folks who add intersex/DSD nuance to our conversations. i don't believe in misgendering, slurs, or anything of the sort to do anything other than harm ppl who struggle with a very debilitating disorder, dysphoria, one that i struggled with for years and years. that's not the way to help anyone! we do still need more open talks about detransition, and plans on how to prevent even more detransitioners, since there really is a higher number of detrans cases than ever before. people who now, like me, struggle with reverse dysphoria and often need expensive procedures. i also want us to talk about transfem experiences, and just gnc male experiences in general, not just to offer support but also learn more about the intricacies of the patriarchy which is essential for my specific brand of radical feminism. i've nicknamed it as tirfism, or me being a nuancefem - a feminist who is against the way mainstream feminism & qweer activism is currently handling female-specific and homosexual issues, and aims to foster nuance on complex topics!

there are more of us than you'd ever imagine, and we're finally managing to find eachother. i highly recommend reading through @pokegyns for more nuanced takes from my lovely server friends. i believe trans voices are essential to nuancefeminism and tirfism, and i'm very blessed to have lovely transmasc & transfem mods on my server. they provide fascinating insights that we really need right now. it's also very comforting to know that there are nuanced trans people in the modern world... sometimes it feels like the lgbt community is completely close-minded to discussions of female-specific oppression and homosexuality. but that actually isn't the case! i think there's a lot of discomfort going around feminist & lgbtq communities, and it's reaching the boiling point. so long as people like you anon are out there willing to research and learn more about non-transphobic, anti-conservative radical feminism and dispell myths about us, i know we will be alright in the end and a bridge between all the marginalized communities is still possible in the near future if we keep working on it. thank you so much for reaching out!!

[meitoscringe]

I can't believe I must do this so early in the morning, especially on this account that I was trying to keep up for more important issues, but people have been lying about me as of late and I'd like to correct (without starting an argument just a few things!)

As a reminder my native language is not English so if I make a grammatical mistake sorry

@miyuecakes made a post responding to an anon my friend sent (while claiming she had sent 2 with no evidence). I'm not here to talk on that as I am not my friend, did not she had sent it until it was to late and I'm not Muslim. What matters is that she used my account to send this anon and that miyue was hurt.

After that, people started to spread lies in the comment section and I'm only here to clarify

@tianshiisdead

(the screenshots aren't the best sorry)

I was not using the word drama in a bad way, but I don't know how else to word it? Discussion? Argument? I've also been struggling with issues myself and did not want to mess things further. Regardless. I did not want to be involved.

If this was a situation in rl and my friend said something mean to a person I did not know would I need to apologize to them? I take responsibility that it was sent trough my account but I cannot control her words. I cannot take responsibility for something I did not do.

I cannot speak to miyue directly because I don't know them and their account is set so that nobody that they don't follow can text them. I quite physically cannot. I dont know their other socials and did not want to invade their privacy I also, did apologize. But I'll show that later

I did not send harassment, my friend sent one anon worried because she felt disturbed. It's also a lie you didnt know

This is the conversation me and tianshii had

I did apologize, I had already explained the situation, you did know what happened. I didn't reach out because I couldnt and since your friend was doing bad I did not want to post stuff publicly. Why lie? I have no problem with your friend replying to my friend's ask. It's her right to defend herself . And I'm sorry she was hurt. But I've done what I can.

Do you want me to apologize or do you want me to beg for forgiveness about words I did not say? This was 2 months. We're you keeping "dirt" on me?

@luyous

Id also like to reply to this!

My friend had the password to this account way before she sent that as when I made this account I was going trough some bad stuff and decided that it was best to give someone I trusted my password to make sure I wasn't doing stupid shit on here (pro ED stuff)

I repeat my friend sent 1 ask. It was not harassment. I'm sorry that it happened and that she hurt yiy but I can't take back words she said.

I don't know miyue, I have nothing against her, I don't know her story and I don't mind that she defended herself.

I simply don't want to be involved as the perpetrator when I wasnt. Please stop lying about me as I have not lied about you.

[blueopinions49]

Enneagram 4 Wanda Maximoff is Whack

Introduction

Hello so, this typing...I've talked about it before a bit on my misunderstanding of enneagram 4 however I wanted to go a bit more in-depth as to why I find it odd. It's been very common for Wanda to be typed as an E4 ever since her introduction to the MCU (same with her comic counter part). Even tho to me it doesn't make allot of sense. So Im gonna analyze the problems with this typing in this post. If you disagree thats ok we can discuss it.

Why Not Enneagram

E4 structure

The enneagram 4s core desire is Depth. Similar to everyone in the heart triad they look to full fill a desired image. In order to do so they create a persona of sort. The 4 creates an image of depth and brokenness. One important key aspect to distinguish with the 4 is the image (pseudo depression) vs real life depression. The part where it might get confusing is that the image of brokenness of the 4 can be a product, real or just made up.

Expressing Pain

I think one of the most interesting aspect of this typing is where is the line of sharing pain when it comes to enneagram 4 vs every other type. While the pseudo depressive aspects of four are usually in high display there is another key element that these arguments forget. The enneagram 4 expresses this sadness in order to be seen as deep ,authentic and special. They are frustration type after all, their dilemma is the need to be seen as deep while struggling to the reality that its an image they upheld.

They are an image type

Ive noticed this a constant when it comes to allot of mistypes that have come up as of recently (Nancy Downs SX4, Cassie Howard SX3 and Asuka Langley SX2). Image types are (imo at least) easier to understand but ive noticed there Is a constant misunderstanding of what the image is vs what the individual is. The Image types have these ideals they have in their head and go about life trying to imitate them in the closest way possible.

Enneagram 4 Wanda...

After this brief overview of the structure of 4, how does it apply to Wanda? When it comes to the core desires of 4 I don't see how it applies to Wanda. She never seems to look for depth in her self or others. And she doesn't seem to portray an image of uniqueness either. Most of her "reactions come from her upbringing in life rather than a need to express brokenness and uniqueness through experience. In simpler terms: she's just depressed and is traumatized, she doesn't use her trauma as a marketing tool. Im gonna go through every subtype in E4 since I've seen her typed ass all of them at least once.

4w5 so/sx The social 4 looks to relate to others through their 'brokenness' and have to share it with others. The SO type In general has this belief of a place of belonging in the world so most of them spent their lives looking to be listened and heard. This doesn't apply to Wanda at all. I dont believe Wanda is a SO type at all she doesn't look for a grand place where she can share her sadness and uniqueness with others.

4w5 sp/sx I don't think SP4 is as bad of a typing for Wanda however the SP4 subverts the 4s attitudes allot through a need of difference they aren't as angry and expressive. I think this typing is mostly superficial. Since the "sad girl" archetype is usually attached to it.

4w5 sx/sp This is definitely directed at her anger in MoM. I think most people focused on the anger part rather than why that anger is there to begin with. Also the SX4 is the most Envious of all 3 subtypes In the E4. Wanda doesn't ever express or even gets close to show the envy of the 4. Further more how does Wanda represent the envy of 4?.

The Envy of 4

Their envy is represent through this belief that they are inherently more deep and authentic than other people so "what is that others have that I don't" its a metaphysical question not literal one. Which is why I ask myself how does Wanda get constantly typed as a 4 if she has nothing other being sad that points to her being a 4.

Other Typings to Consider

To be positive here are some typings that I think fit her more.

6w5 sp/sx

In my personal opinion SP6 Wanda makes allot of sense. The idea that Wanda is a frustration type never made much sense to me either. Her being an attachment type and looking for emotional safety through interpersonal connections makes sense. I think the idea that she is an unhealthy 6 that has fully disintegrated to her 9 could also be a solid argument for her.

9w8 sp/sx

Personally this is my preferred typing for Wanda (Positive+Attachment+Withdrawn) she is clearly looking for emotional satisfaction and bliss in life. In WandaVision we see her overindulging in this. Also the SP subtype in general suits her well. Her needs are always related to her self and those around her rather than the outer world.

9w8 sx/sp I used to type her as an SX9 however Ive changed my mind a bit. I still think it's plausible for her to be an SX9 however she doesn't seem to fuse her own personal desires with others and ignore life through interpersonal connections. However I do see some traits of the SX9 such as a need for attachment.

Conclusion

I personally think ive settled for SP9 Wanda however im still open to having conversation if you disagree.

PS the next zodiac is Aries

[aerithistired]

Why Aeon is resident evils weakest ship (It's NOT cuz they're toxic for eachother DUN DUN DUN)

HII this was copy pasted from a reply to another discussion, but I'm posting it cuz I want to post my opinions <3I never understood why the fandom is so crazy over aeon when they have the most weakest writing in a ship I've ever seen but to each their own I guess.I'd love to hear your thoughts and expand on my argument more!

I dont ship anyone with Leon in general which is INCLUDING Ada. For me it doesn't have anything to do with the facts of the story, because its all perfectly sensible on paper ( also because it is clear they're the endgame couple and are each other's love interests), but mostly with the way the couple was written- and *especially* Ada.

I'm not too familiar with the old RE games but from what ive heard and seen- Ada was supposed to be a black cat/cat woman/ femme fatale character and have a Batman- catwoman relationship with Leon. Personally, im not a huge fan of the dynamic, but other wise i can still see it as a solid dynamic for a ship.

On the other hand, i feel like the remakes and especially the RE2R doesnt know what they want their relationship to exactly be because from what i have noticed, they've significantly reduced the Catwoman- batman dynamic from the og games (Lily Gao, the RE4R VA herself said she wanted to tone down the seducctive femme fatale persona In ada in response to backlash).

I feel like re2r tried to make their relationship feel like an angsty and serious slow burn but considering their limited screen time and development together, didn't execute well.

In the beginning of the game (RE2R) Ada is quite serious about her work and partnership with Leon and is very strict about not getting close with him- on her part that is(i believe leon leaned more towards trying to get to know her).

Chemistry wise, i dont see much happening between them up until the part Leon takes a bullet for her and she treats him and when he does the same for her afterwards. I really liked the "dont push it rookie" line she gives him after he offers to carry her(?), It was more warm in comparison to their relationship before, and i wish they delved Into that with more scenes like that before the kiss (basically build up their relationship with emphasis on ada).

Also i feel its important to note that the scenewhen Leon takes a bullet for Ada had SUCH GOOD POTENTIAL to open into her character and how she felt about Leon at that moment because its a clear turning point in their relationship but AGAIN we get nothing and Leon is literally asleep.

!!And please don't start the 'hidden subtle details of the scene' argument with me cuz those scenes cuz despite the small details, is still not enough to establish a good relationship development growth- and especially since we barely get any monologue from Ada's side on how she feels about leon.!!

If there were clear cut scenes of them developing in trust and proper teamwork AND OPENING UP OF CHARACTER DEPTHS (and getting past the one sided attempt at friendliness from Leon) EARLIER ON IN THE GAME this wouldve made the betrayal much more heartbreaking too.

I think those segments would've been an excellent START for DEVELOPING their relationship and getting closer as a team.

☆Most well written and beloved ships have enough screen time with them showing development of their relationship- esp in slow burns. This applies to video games as well.☆

However, the pair mmediately kiss (AFTER LIKE ONE SCENE OF THEM SLIGHTLY DEVELOPING), And that was when the ship lost me. It WAS too sudden from a writing point of view and had so very little build up about their trust and caring for each other.

I'm not saying you can't fall for someone in a short time, but the issue rather was how there was LITTLE chemistry portrayed with them UP TO that moment. YOU SHOULD GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTHY TO SHIP THEM, CAPCOM.

More scenes like the one i mentioned before (with more emphasis on Ada opening up, The hints of her teasing him, etc) would've been great.

i understand that the game is not a romance but if you are trying to pull a slow burn-esque type ship off, you should commit to it, either that, or make it a fast one with chemistry right off the bat (like flirting and banter) cuz THIS was just very messy.

And that was ALL we got of their relationship for the first game. CAPCOM could've made great use of them in the other RE games (re4r and re6) but the couple ended up on more of the yearning and longing for side than actually developing together on screen, which sucks. (which is also like kind of annoying cuz we didnt see much of how they felt for the other throughout the game UNTIL THE NEAR END OF THEIR FIRST GAME- Which also had very little on screen moments of development. SO THEY HAVE A LIFE LASTING IMPACT ON EACH OTHER?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!)

LIKE I GET THE POTENTIAL ON PAPER BUT IT WAS NOT IT IM SORRY.

And for the argument that Ada is *supposed* to be the mysterious character- i get that its a part of her appeal- but i find myself craving for her story to be shown in game than searching for crumbles of it from other RE material.

A well written character needs depth. And Ada HAS depth, its just shown subtle to an UNNECESSARY extent in the case that capcom tried to 'show and not tell' but it just doesn't execute well in terms of writing a romance where both characters need to grow and develop for a potential relationship or a ship.

(LOVED SEPERATE WAYS BY THE WAY). I ALSO DONT LIKE SHES IN EVERY GAME LEON IS- which just mostly reinforces she is his lover than a very vital part of the RE universe in GENERAL (which is why im so sad she wasnt in village) I really wish they put more focus on HER story.

And as for Cleon and other leon x ships- I don't know about them, since they barely interact throughout the RE universe. but i feel like if they did work together, potential for great chemistry could've been built for the pairing too. Shrugs

Again, i think Aeon had great potential but it went down the drain because of inconsistent characterization of her within the fandom, the game itself and the way it was written.

Everything Is there on paper. 'But she bandaged his arm. She helped him so many times when she didn't need to. She loves him and he loves her.'

OKAY, I'm READING what I'm supposed to feel about the ship, but it's not hitting. Why? Cuz it's badly written.

Im a bit annoyed when people try to argue that this ship is good in terms of writing cuz its NOT!!!! I dont really care if people ship them cuz they're attractive and the appeal is there *sort of*.

But if you're trying to argue on a story and writing basis, it's one of the worst ships I've seen in ANY media forms lol, you can't make a case for this ship and win im sorryヽ( `皿´ )ﾉ

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I'm terrified of writing my opinions on ships on here so I'd like to emphasize this is just a silly fictional game and I've been meaning to write my opinions on it for a while. all in good fun! sorry for potential bad grammar english isnt my first language :DD

[mcrtalstrike]

Here's why I'm excited, but also worried about Vol'jin coming back.

I know it's been established that Vol'jin had been basically used as a puppet before his death but i'm begging the writing team to explore his character in relation to the effects said decision had, and how they still impact main characters today. How much guilt he feels, how much of it is warranted and how he personally believes he can take on a leadership role after being absolutely shafted (sorry i had to)

Everyone trusted him to make the right decision and even once they found out Vol'jin was coerced and Mueh'zala dealt with, it wasn't even brought up again. Now he's been given the essence of the King Of All Loa and supposedly the Titans are sticking their nose into this as well. He has some massive dinosaur-shaped boots to fill and the last decision "he" made caused events still affecting main characters today.

We know that plans were happening behind his back, that he didn't really have a choice and his loyalty to the Loa that hadn't steered him wrong ended up being a calculated move to cause all of this pain.

Still, I think Vol'jin, a Troll who apologizes for being A BIT MEAN to someone calling for his people to be eradicated, might feel a tad guilty after all of this, especially after hearing the screams of dying Teldrassil citizens while in purgatory. He is no stranger to doing everything in his power to seek closure, no matter how long it takes.

And what about when he comes back, has the knowledge that he was used against his will reached out to the Alliance? Does Anduin still remember the promise Maybe I'm just The Least Normal about Vol'jin, maybe I want him to just be in the front and center as much as he can because hes my favourite, but can you blame me? I'm not alone in this either, plently of people love him as a character, he's been a main leader since classic. The way that I've seen no discussion of his impact on the story and how he could be expanded upon, that it's all just how he was done dirty or what kind of Loa he'll become is kinda disappointing, not in a "Why dont people love my fav" kind of way, but in a "Blizz has given us naught but crumbs" way. There's no reason to keep restricting Trolls to their own little corner of WoW when Vol'jin is directly connected to the main cast. He's family to the Horde, Thrall and Baine's closest friend, and made a promise to Anduin's father that he saw broken. Hell, the Zandalari were the MAIN SELLING POINT of Horde side BFA. So I really, really hope the writers don't just reduce him to "the character who was done dirty and is a loa now" without any further elaboration on him, we didn't get a whole novel on his development as a character for nothing.

[p1x1x]

Ok but what if I asked you to rate all your Arcaea ships on the “guilt each feels towards the other or for whatever reason” scale for uh flavoring reasons

what is this... shonen powerscaling but for guilt?? i suck at scaling anything... (my friends no longer ask me to rate things like that 😔)

i think hikatai is at the top tbh... i've said it before but yeah while they get a pretty happy ending canonically i just dont think. hikari would ever forget the guilt of killing tairitsu... and that guilt turns into overprotectiveness, to never let tairitsu experience pain again for as long as they're here...

and the revival... sorry this would get into spoilers for you so if you want skip this paragraph go ahead but. in the moment, hikari was willing to sacrifice Everything to get tairitsu back (if that gives any scale how guilty she felt right then and there lol)... it included altering tairitsu's memories, to forget the specifics of her despair and her meeting with hikari... (the ending states that tairitsu just remembers experiencing some sort of hardship, but not what). it might ease her pain, and, while there's this whole idea that what they experience here in this 'afterlife' is just as real of an experience as living and that they forgo the past and future whatnot—i feel like that's not going to just happen so easily... tairitsu has no idea what hikari did when she came back to life, but given her kind, naive soul, of course she'd comfort a crying girl that's clinging to her like she was her only salvation. to hear the words "whatever you did, you made it right, didn't you?" was probably what hikari needed in that moment—it might've felt like forgiveness... but after... hikari knows that tairitsu doesn't remember anything hikari had done. you are not telling me that she just leaves her guilt behind like that!!! maybe for a little bit she's happy with that but... is it fair of hikari to accept this kindness, but never tell the truth of what happened to tairitsu? that's just... taking advantage of her not knowing, isn't it?

and if hikari truly values tairitsu, then surely she would end up thinking about that eventually... and who knows how much time might pass before she does, since there's no real clock here...

(realistically, i think if hikari was able to explain everything... tairitsu might just forgive her by her kind nature. those memories were gone with the storm in the revival, so tairitsu only has the lingering feelings of uncertain hardship and hikari's words, and none of the actual weight of despair. but hikari's afraid... because of her own feelings about her actions, she'd believe tairitsu would rightfully be angry about it... either being killed, or maybe that hikari had taken away a part of her life that was hers, even if it was painful...)

so the guilt will just continue on... it's easier to just think she's protecting tairitsu from pain by not telling. bear the guilt, instead of possibly shattering this happy life tairitsu has right now...

(tairitsu smiles gently at her, and hikari doesn't want to be the cause of ending that...)

(i do think tairitsu would recognize there's something on hikari's mind... even ask multiple times, but hikari keeps pushing it off...)

okay so where does this lead to a happy ending at all in this interpretation i Dont really know. at some point hikari would reach a breaking point at that rate... not here to discuss happy endings though just read the official one and ignore all this for that .um. guilt in other ships Yes

between lethesaya and vitasaya (bc i dont really see any guilt factor in other duos)... lethe is the more guilty one in ltsy. going off the AD and alstro stuff yk—lethe knows that saya was trying. and that saya had at least understood lethe’s beliefs having seen her memory, while lethe has to linger on the fact she had always ended up dismissing saya’s beliefs (she’d listened, but would continue to see saya only as an obstacle in her duty… saya kind of thinks similarly to lethe, but i feel like with her being the one who asked to work together, it’s a thought that just lingers back there… i dont know, more thought about how saya’s heart is rather kind sometimes. (she’s still a Little bit of a jerk sometimes… that comes from being a little arrogant. honestly so funny of her…))

then there’s the guilt about saya being in pain that isnt exactly Her fault but it was her scythe that ended up slashing saya’s side so how is she supposed to feel about that other than guilt (i dont think lethe could blame others…). or that time i mentioned Somewhere about lethe having seriously wanting to kill saya, but then learning that saya had been taking care of a kid and having seen vita cry for saya there… wrong about cold hearts, a failure to get to know saya… And was about to kill this kid’s guardian!!! lethe’s kinda stacked in the guilt department… a little less overwhelming than hikari’s, but its like. guilt over several things vs guilt over this one specific ordeal. saya’s also better at getting lethe to speak about her worries… so it seems, they are at least managing… Okay.

saya’s guilt is probably about not trying enough… to lethe, but also in general… how she felt it was all meaningless, even though she had clearly put so much effort into trying. and when you add vita into the mix, it Kinda Sucks feeling like nothing’s worth it, especially because vita helped saya with her goal a bit (and saya led her on this goal). another guilt would be not being able to protect vita… and in this case, i feel like vitasaya might have a little more guilt? at least viewing how the character’s feel. because vita spent more time with saya than lethe did, and by having to take care of the kid (and the responsibility for another’s life), vita was probably more important to saya than lethe… lethesaya guilt is about what they could’ve done (and also what they had done…), while vitasaya is saya going “Shit” over vita being kidnapped by possibly the Worst person to get kidnapped by

uhhhh sorry if this scale sucks i spent too long thinking 😔 ig it might be hkti, vtsy, then ltsy… its not really a scale in my head though because the guilt flavors are different and it ends up being preference (also ltsy and vtsy are kind of linked to each other… no separating them…)

[officialgleamstar]

okay so like --

(warning for discussions of suicidal ideation/self harm. not in any graphic amounts but mentioned frequently. under the cut because i talked way too long, Grant Wilson and Lark Oak-Garcia Give Me Feelings.)

tl;dr: lark and grant have matching semi-colon tattoos to honor each other. if you wanna hear All Of My Thoughts, journey on, but thats the gist of it gjhbfhjgbhjdf

i have said before that i do not think grant and lark would get along very well. i do stand by this. however i also think theyre both clingy motherfuckers, the kiddads are codependent and i believe this with all my heart, and so they are still friends even if they bicker like hell. i also think they both had a lot of mental health issues throughout high school and have some lopsided bond over being "the guys in the friend group to go to the psych ward" (all of the kiddads are like Bad Mentally but i just find that grant and lark are the most. uh. Clearly Suicidal so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i like to project my high school mental health onto grant and lark is. lark.)

i think at first, theres a lot of friction between them about this since i do think darryl and henry would try to push them to like. Be Supportive And Helpful to one another about this shared issue. i could spiral into a whole other conversation about that, i have a jghfbghjbdhj far too elaborate internal world about high school kiddads but all we need to know here is That Does Not Work. grant and lark do NOT fix each other, they definitely make each other worse bhjbfhjgbhjfdbgjd like i said! i dont think they get along! i think grant would project his own issues onto lark, and i think lark would call him out on that, and they would argue about it. they do NOT talk about mental health with one another or in general

but as time goes on and they both start doing better (again, projecting my own mental health onto grant but in a positive way now - despite relapses, i do think hes in a much better state of mind once hes an adult, and i think the same of lark. theyre not GOOD but i do not see them as like, actively suicidal as adults. theyre managing! we love that for them!), probably around senior year of high school or a year after that, lark reaches out to try and make amends for their issues with one another in high school. they dont usually like, Hang Out Alone, ever, but lark convinces grant to come over while lark gives himself a stick and poke tattoo. awkwardly hanging out alone in lark's room and picking their way through conversation. normal 18- to 19-year-olds stuff

i dont know if theyre like... still a big thing, but i know when i was in high school, the semi-colon on the wrist was a big symbol for mental health and showing support for those struggling. and i just really like the thought of lark going "i was gonna give myself a semi-colon tattoo" "oh, because youre doing better?" "no, because youre doing better, grant. its dedicated to you" (all of lark's tattoos are dedicated to other people but that. again. a whole other conversation i could spiral into) and grant just gets. really choked up about it. and rather impulsively goes "can you give one to me as well? so i can honor you."

and so grant's only tattoo matches lark's, and its a semi-colon that they both have on their wrist. i think i put lark's on his right the few times i've drawn it, i think grant's would probably also be on his right wrist but that doesn't matter too much ghbfdhgbdfjh i just think theres something really beautiful about honoring the continued life and well-being of someone youve not always gotten along with, but who still means the world to you. grant and lark, i think, would have a deep understanding of each other in a lot of ways, and i just think about that A Lot(tm)

also i think its fun to imagine grant having a Gay Moment over lark having to be all up in his space while giving him a tattoo but this whole concept isnt really meant to be shippy so fgbfjdhjh thats more an idle background thought

[clownrecess]

As an autistic individual myself, I am interested in the intersection of neurodiversity and various identities.

You've mentioned that you identify as a Norse Pagan. I'm curious about how your spiritual beliefs intersect with your neurodivergent experience. Do you find that your autistic identity informs or impacts your spiritual practice in any way?

(Tw for discussions of trauma, religion, etc.)

Sorry for the late-ish response! I've been working on this post a little everyday to make sure I write it how I want it.

I dont think that my autism has impacted my religion or spirtual experiences/beliefs, but my brain as a whole does. (Update: It actually did influence it quite a bit. I'm realizing this after writing this post. So, uh, thank you for helping me realize something that I find quite interesting!)

When I was a kid, I was raised in christianity. I was very religious. I prayed everyday, I had a cross in my room, etc.

But heres the thing: I have OCD. A few different types, but out of those, one of them is religious OCD.

Most of my praying ages late 8-12 was done purely out of fear. At that point I wasnt even really a Christian, I was just really afraid, which really impacted how I viewed religion. I HATED conversation about it because it felt scary and icky to me.

I didn't understand why people would ever want to talk about it. It felt like a very private topic for me, so I figured people who go out of their way to talk about it must be trying to get extra "good points" with god (maybe that bit was caused by autism, actually.).

During that time, I would go through little phases of a month or so at a time in which I would try to "swing the opposite direction". This was around age 10-11. I was developing an intense anger toward the church, and I just wanted to be the opposite of they were, whatever that meant. Because I didn't want to think about religion (due to anxiety around it), I really didn't know what many religious labels actually meant because researching them made me very uncomfortable, so I briefly identified as a satanist (this would be on and off during ages 10-11.) despite really not knowing what that meant. I think I just wanted a way to separate myself from the church as much as possible.

A few months after I turned 12, I felt a really strong urge to research paganism out of nowhere (I didnt even know what "pagan" meant, I just suddenly felt the need to know things about it. It was very random.). It started sort of as a special interest (Maybe autism did influence me more than I thought! Interesting.), and so I would look into a lot of different branches of paganism, focusing most of my research around hellenistic paganism.

A few weeks after this, I had a very interesting experience which I now believe to have been a sign from Freyja (I dont want to go into specifics. It was personal and I want to keep that special to me. I might later, but for now it's just mine. Just know it was a very beautiful thing from her.). DIRECTLY following this event (Maybe an hour or two later), I felt another urge to research things, but this time to be looking into the Norse Gods/Goddesses (which I'd never even heard of at that point.).

At that point I ended up converting to paganism. It was an extremely sudden decision, but it made sense to me.

No matter what religion I had been apart of before, I always felt anxiety and guilt, causing me to try and fix things by becoming excessively religious again in a Christian way. But from the moment I became pagan, I just never had that ever again. It's been the only religion I've ever felt fully safe in.

It's obviously been quite a while since then, and I'm obviously still a Norse Pagan.

Whilst I now love all the gods and goddesses, Freyja will always be especially special to me.

At this point I have worked with: Freyja, Loki, Odin, Beyla, and Njord.

Now, I also think its important to mention another part of my brain that impacts my religious experience: I am in a system.

Nearly all of us identify as Norse Pagans, but we have a few Agnostics as well, a few Eclectic Pagans, an Atheistic Satanist, and a Theistic Satanist.

The primary religious identity within our system is Norse Paganism, with the majority of individuals identifying as followers of this belief system. Due to this, we say we are a Norse Pagan! We are also okay with just being called "Pagan" on it's own, though.

[bellybiologist]

November 2024 Patreon Announcements

I hope everyone had a nice halloween, and sorry for the lateness! I needed a day to reset because every year, the change in weather and season hits me like a truck, and every year, i forget that. 😅

Got a few announcements!

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November's Poll will be up Shortly! The winning theme is appropriately "Bonfire/Campfire," and I will go into detail on the poll post.

October Patreon Work is Still in Progress! If i dont have a piece up by this monday, I'll post up some WIPs to show where I'm at. I'll be sure to try to have them done before the next poll ends.

The next Sequence Kink Poll will be up soon as well! The David Kawena sequence is done, so we will be determining between Mpreg and Inflation as the next main sequence kink.

I'm considering lowering the Cleaned Up Sketch Commission Option! Since sketches aren't an option anyone ever gets (i believe only 1 person in the whole Half a Decade I've had this system has gotten one), but i've still seen some interest in them, I'll be lowering the cleaned up sketch price option. Will let you guys know when that is added to the form!

Commissions are still Open! Comms are still a bulk of my monthly income, so i'm still accepting submissions, even if you're already on the list! I understand the wait time is long, but all commissioners are free to add to, adjust, or change orders they've already made at any time! Just contact me to through any method you'd prefer to discuss it. Click here for the form! A new Reward Request Post will be going up! Patrons are free to leave one in there even if you already have one from last month's! September's requests will have expired though! So if those haven't been drawn, you will need to re-suggest them. September's will expire when November rolls around. See this document to see whats on the list, what expired, and what has been done!

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As always, thanks for the support!