#since i do Not dive deep enough in canon to see everything ever shown or written about dathomir (and i rarely ever look at legends stuff)

[maulfucker]

I saw you had a post where you thought abt Dathomirian culture and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how specifically Dathomirian queer culture manifests. I'd like to come up with things myself but I don't actually know a lot in general abt Dathomir yet, so I want other opinions. I've got two ideas tho

-Dathomirian queer ppl call each other "family" like some queer ppl did in our world

-Trans men might like earn their horns thru hunting and using animal bones and stuff as their horns? Idk like I said I don't know much

Good question! I haven't actually thought that much about queer culture in Dathomir despite having a gay nightbrother oc,,

I think the calling each other family thing probably wouldn't work very well since they already treat their clan as family and call each other brother and sister even without blood relation, but I love the idea of trans nightbrothers earning their horns! Dathomirians as a whole seem to be pretty open to body modifications, with tattoos being so natural in their culture, so hunting animals to use their bones or teeth or something to produce "prosthetic" horns sounds very fitting. It could be a whole thing for both trans and cis nightbrothers, using the extra horns as a way to show off their strength. plus it opens up the possibility of nightbrothers implanting horns in whimsical shapes such as smiley faces, stars or penises

I think as a people composed of multiple isolated communities, there's probably not a uniform queer culture across the planet. But also as people who tend to live in single-sex communities they are likely far more queer on average than what we see in the rest of the galaxy, like how cowboys were famously queer. They supposedly spend most of their lives around the same gender, so it wouldn't be unusual for that to be the gender they express attraction to more often. Though, much like how cowboys have been "reinterpreted" as a symbol of straight white masculinity, there's probably also a popular misconstruction of their culture as extremely straight, and/or extremely celibate. The "Nightsisters rule over Nightbrothers" reading of their culture is very obviously meant to show them as a reverse-sexist society, making the nightsisters a sort of "girl power" icon — they are strong independent women who can pick any man they want (implying that they do want men), which is like saying cowboys are strong fearless men who woo every damsel that crosses their path. which. sure, cowboys did have sex with women. sure, nightsisters do have sex with men. but more often than not they will be around other nightsisters, so they will more often than not have relationships with women (even if they're not really gay).

but I am not usamerican and my brain has the consistency of molten ice cream, so my knowledge of american cowboy culture is. basically just that. (the brazilian cowboy culture is quite different, especially considering there's like three distinct cowboy "sub"cultures, each with their different history, territory, and associations) So that's as far as I can take the cowboy comparison, but cowboys can be a pretty good source of inspiration I think. maybe look into that?

A quick look into medieval monasteries (another famously gender-segregated culture) says they were also pretty gay. And that the sexual persecution that is so commonplace in christianity today was not really a thing yet back then, which is also something to consider when trying to conceive the queer culture of a people who have nothing to do with our modern (overwhelmingly christian) society — do they have a reason to reject queer people and relationships, or are we just projecting our own worldviews and experiences onto a people who have none of the sociohistorical context that shaped our experiences?

I think homosexual/romantic and even polyamorous relationships would be pretty normalized, since there's not really any reason to only accept hetero relationships if they rarely ever live in mixed-sex communities. That said, there's probably still some expectation of heterosexual activity, in the form of the Selection and its implied procreation purposes. Dathomir is a very isolationist world, so to keep their population stable they need to procreate, even if it "goes against" an individual's sexuality. And this is where I think polyamorous relationships have reason to be encouraged: if a nightsister or nightbrother who already has a partner takes part in a Selection, why not bring their partner(s) into the relationship as well and increase the likelihood of producing offsprings?

As for the gender side of queerness.... well that's probably A Lot more complicated than I have time to discuss here. The gender binary seems pretty enforced in their culture from what little we see, and their sexual dimorphism probably makes trans and/or intersex people stand out A Lot more

I've mentioned this before, but I headcanon that the skin color difference is not a sex-chromosome-bound characteristic, but instead a sex-hormone-related expression of pigmentation, like in some birds such as peacocks. Both males and females are shown to have a range of skin tones, but in females it manifests as grayscale while in males it manifests as a color scale from red to yellow. So intersex people might have colors that are in-between, or that don't "match" their apparent sex, and trans people who undergo their equivalent of hrt might slowly change skin colors over time.

As for how nonbinary people work.... well as someone who is from a latin american country and speaks a romance language, I would like to imagine their "nonbinary" is a lot like ours — there is no "neutral" gender, they simply play with their presentation to be between one and the other, leaning towards whichever one might be considered more "transgressive" at the moment.

I don't think trans people would be forced out of their clans for being a different gender than everyone else, but it's possible their role in the clan might change to something more "befitting" of their new gender I also think there's probably a lot more contact between different clans than just the Selection, so it's possible for people who decide to start over as a new gender to take one of these moments of contact as an opportunity to "visit" another clan and never come back.

..... aaand it's almost 2 am so I gotta hit post

[mysweetland]

Sunny and Basil 🌻☀

Let’s talk about Sunny and Basil’s relationship. (Because I’m in too deep but I don’t want to get out).

(Heavy spoilers from Omori, if you haven’t played all the routes the game yet, please don’t read this until you do >.<)

With that being said, this is just my humble opinion, I’m open to all interpretations and I do not wish to engage in a shipping battle, that is definitely not my intention. Idk why I decided to write a whole essay but I love them too much, okay? 😂 also, if you like Omori and Sunflower, let's talk. I have so much to say 🙈

(This turned out very long skngfl)

Okay, here we go:

I’ve always thought that Sunny and Basil’s relationship is very interesting. They are each other’s anchors in a way, have been since they met. I do not think that either Sunny or Basil would ever find what they found in each other in someone else. Though they can be close to Aubrey, Kel, Hero and Mari, there’s some sort of chemistry between them both that can’t be unmatched with anyone else.

Now, I do not mean to say that the other relationships they have aren’t important or that they don’t love their friends enough. But I think there’s some sort of unspoken and natural reciprocity between Sunny and Basil. Whether it’s romantic or fully platonic is up to interpretation, but it’s there.

If we’re talking romantically, then I think this reciprocity doesn’t happen between Sunny and Aubrey, for example. I think that they have a great friendship, they understand each other, Sunny used to listen to her talk and vent all the time and, well, he canonically has (had?) feelings for her. But I fully believe she never reciprocated his crush in real life. There’s no doubt that Aubrey appreciates him, but I don’t think she ever fell for him in that way. And, if she ever did when they were kids, I doubt she does now in the future, where she already has a new group of friends and other things to worry about. Everything that happens in Headspace is fully idealized by Sunny. He wanted her to like him, so he made the version of her that he wanted to see.

Though, well, I don’t think Sunny likes Basil back either canonically but some things I will be talking about next might possibly prove this statement very wrong 😂. Still I think that Sunny regards Basil with a lot of fondness and appreciation that only exists towards him and not towards his other friends.

Anyway, let’s talk about Basil for a moment.

Basil

So… It is heavily implied that Basil has feelings for Sunny. There’s no doubt he thinks of him as his best friend and appreciates him so much that it leads to him supporting him the best he can. I truly think he was and is in love with him and maybe, the fact that he’s been so lonely in the past made him attach to Sunny more than he had to.

We know about this already, it is shown in the game openly in a lot of scenes. And well, the perfect evidence is the way he regarded Sunny as perfect and refused to accept that he was the one who killed Mari…………… But let’s not go here.

Or, actually, let’s go there for a moment. Basil idealizes Sunny a lot, he puts him on a pedestal most of the time and tries his best to protect him and save him (even if he does it wrong in a lot of situations, but he was just a child back then). I have a point to make about this at the end of this, so stay tuned? lmao.

What about Sunny, though? He has some sort of strong attachment towards Basil, he can even idealize him in his mind. Basil is not the only one doing this. 

But well… it’s not explicitly told to us. So, for that, let’s dive into the depths of Sunny’s mind.

Headspace

So we know headspace is Sunny’s dream world. The happy place he chose to stay in for 4 years, where everyone loves him and appreciates him, where his sister is still alive and safe. He has not done anything wrong in Headspace, Omori is just a sad boy that has the support of all his friends.

In there, we discover his desires, his dreams and what he thinks of other people. Of course, we see his fears and brief representations of his guilt over Mari’s death.

But why am I bringing this up when I’m supposed to talk about his relationship with Basil? Well… 

It’s always been interesting to me how Basil is different from everyone in Headspace. Everyone else is represented by purple and shades of blue, Basil is emerald, just like his eyes. He stands out the most in his group of friends, as much as Omori does. 

And you could say that it makes sense because, well, Basil knows the truth, he was there the day Mari died, he “helped” Sunny, that’s why he stands out too. But… if Sunny saw Basil the way he sees himself, blamed Basil the way he blamed himself, he would’ve been black and white in Headspace just like Omori is. A thing that doesn’t belong in that happy and comforting place… right? 

Instead, however, he’s pastel. He’s an idealized version of Basil, with no defects whatsoever, a kind soul, always smiling and willing to be there for his friends. It shows after their fight with Boss specifically, when Basil just forgives him and treats him with kindness. 

It’s interesting to me that he’s like this in Headspace, because it shows how Sunny sees him and how much he regards Basil in a shiny light, always wearing a flower crown that I know Sunny found attractive in real life. In a sense, DW Basil is perfect. 

And not only that but… why is Basil the only one of his friends in Headspace that has an actual house? Well, I guess Kel, Hero and Aubrey have Neighbor’s room and Mari her… picnic blanket (?)  but…Hm. I guess Sunny has spent a lot of time at Basil’s house, otherwise he wouldn’t have recreated his house in his dreams, even if it’s a shoe lmao.

Stranger

I wanted to briefly talk about Stranger because of this line specifically: 

"On that day... When you became nothing... I was split in half."

It’s brought to my attention that there are two Basils in headspace. DW Basil, the version of him Sunny likes the most, the one he idealizes and the one he wants to look for and keep safe. And we have Stranger, the part of Basil he doesn’t— I’m not gonna say he doesn’t like it, it’s more like that part of him scares Sunny. Stranger encourages Omori to accept the truth, embrace it and that is something unacceptable in his mind.

Stranger is Basil’s cry of help. It makes me think Basil has asked him to help him a million times, makes me think he’s gone visit him at some point and it all ended up worse than ever. Or not, maybe it’s just Sunny’s guilt in the form of a shadow that doesn’t belong in Headspace.

Stranger is the representation of Basil’s thoughts following Sunny into his dreams. The urge for Sunny to leave dreamworld and Omori in the first place.

Saving Basil

At the beginning of the game, after a basic tutorial about how Headspace operates and the battle system, we finally get to see that, behind all that happy and cozy facade, something is clearly wrong. And, well, Basil is, of course, the catalyst. Actually, since you see Basil at the first cutscene, it is evident he’s someone important and you can’t help but be drawn to him and feel suspicious about it. I know I felt that way at least.

Basil is the objective you have to reach in order to “finish” the game. The whole point is finding him and bringing him back safe and sound. Haha, technically like Mario traveling through all the lands to rescue Peach… only more effed up probably 😂. 

It’s interesting because… even if you choose to go with the hikikomori route, the objective is the same. In fact, you end up “saving” him. You end up bringing back that part of Basil Sunny appreciates and loves, that idealized version. He even ends up sitting with Mari at the picnic, safe and sound, no battles to be fought. He wants to protect and cherish Basil as much as he wants to protect Mari. 

Branch coral said it, Omori confined Mari to a safe space, so nothing and no one could harm her. Not even himself.

I think he sees DW Basil in the hikikomori route in the same way. He puts him there, to protect him against all harm. (Intent to forget about the fact that he’s leaving Stranger, leaving real life Basil alone… And I think he successfully forgets all about it). Bringing DW Basil back is some sort of consolation made up by Sunny’s mind, intent on tricking him into thinking he saved his best friend and never left him alone. That’s… so sad in my opinion?

But well, let’s go back to the true route.

It is implied by the Branch Coral that Sunny has had this dream a million times. It's an endless cycle that has been repeating and repeating over and over again and the goal is always the same: To forget, to never accept the truth. But I think that the breach in dreamworld is always Basil. Something happens to him and Omori has to look for him with his friends.

Whenever he reaches Basil, it resets and goes back. And it happens and happens in a never ending cycle. What I want to highlight here is that, at the back of Sunny’s mind, unconsciously, there’s a desire to save his best friend. Even if the trauma has made him forget about what they’ve done and even if he’s frightened of him and what it means to see him again and embrace the painful truth. He still somehow wants to do it.

We’re not told why Sunny decides to get out of his house, he just does, prompted by Kel. But I’m guessing it’s because, well, he will be moving out soon. He will not see his friends ever again… and he will not see Basil.

Maybe he unconsciously knows this is the only chance he has before leaving. Maybe he unconsciously knows that reaching out to Basil is what he has to do if he wants to finally feel at peace. Face the truth, but with him. 

I would dare to say that Sunny’s goal after getting out of the house is finding him and saving him. Even if getting there is hard as hell… even if he’s terribly frightened and he’s not able to reach him alone (thank god for Kel, Aubrey and Hero).

And, well, just the fact that Sunny dove into the lake, even if he was afraid of drowning, just to save him says a lot about his true intentions. (Hello, the game asks you whether you will do it or not, but no matter the choice you make, Sunny still does it. That says a lot imo).

Omori 

Sooooo…. HUH. Let’s talk about Omori for a second. I’ve heard a lot of people say that Omori hates Basil.

Which… could be true, but not because Sunny hates him in real life or even blames him or anything. Like I said, Basil is the catalyst, the one thing that serves as a crack in the ‘happy’ place that is Headspace. Mari could also be the catalyst, but she’s confined to the picnic blanket… Though we see Hell Mari and various fucked up versions of her in various instances *shudders*.

And Omori, well, he’s Sunny’s caretaker. A caretaker he created to comfort himself because trauma was too much (Makes me think that Sunny has DID (Dissociative identity disorder) in some way, but that is just my headcanon). So, well, since Omori is trying to keep Sunny’s mind at peace, it’s logical that he wants to eliminate what makes Black Space leak into Headspace. 

Actually, the only time Omori tries to desperately eliminate Basil countless times is when Sunny is slowly readying himself to accept the truth. Only because Basil has been about to blurt out words about what happened and that is unacceptable to Omori.

Still, well, at the end of the route, Sunny still chooses to chase after Basil and tell everyone the truth. He even fights Omori, the one thing (person?) that has comforted him for over 4 long years… That says a lot. Omori could hate what Basil means to Headspace, but Omori is also Sunny and I know Sunny does not think Basil is in the wrong here, he does not hate him at all. If anything, he hates himself… 

The leaks…

When I say I freaked out when I saw the leaks would be an understatement lmao. And I want to bring it up here, because… just look:

There’s just something so incredibly intimate in these photos? They look so close. It’s like Sunny’s desire to relive those moments he spent with Basil again and it just kills me sifbfl.

And I’m honestly surprised it wasn’t added in the main game. Well, I guess we will be getting it on the switch version 👀, but I’m not quite sure yet? Also! The fact that an animation of them releasing energy for a fight exists is so surprising to me. Does that mean that you can choose to fight alongside him over Sunny’s other friends? 👀 hmmmm…. Why is it only him you can do that with? My guess (a very biased one and I’m sorry) is that Sunny sees Basil as someone he can be alone with, someone he can spend time with and feel understood and safe. It aligns with what I said at the beginning: their connection is unique, they understand each other the most.

But well, I’m bringing this up specifically because it shows the dynamic of their relationship or what Sunny highlighted and liked the most about it in his mind. It’s so cozy and nice and… sigh, it’s so sad that their relationship got strained like that.

String of fate?

Opening this with: there is no heterosexual explanation for this and I’m so sorry. (Actually there could be, but let me dream.)

"He is special to you. A string of fate ties you two together. He cannon leave that place alone."

But jokes aside, UH…. What even is this phrase the Branch Coral says? And what does it mean for Sunny to be dreaming about it?

Over the years, the only string of fate that has been talked about is the red string of fate, which unifies you with your soulmate, the person you’re destined to be with. And after that, I’ve seen a lot of theories about it and how some strings of fate could be platonic (I’ve heard there’s a yellow string of fate tied to your index finger, but, actually, there really isn’t that much information about this, so… honestly hm). 

But well, see it the way you see it, even if we’re talking about the red one or the yellow one, it is a fact that Sunny thinks of Basil as someone special to him, someone he was destined to meet. Whether platonic or romantically, we might never know, but I choose to believe there’s more to it than just something platonic and Sunny hasn’t seen it yet. Why use the string of fate? Branch Coral could’ve only said Basil is special to him.

And, though they're talking about saving Basil in Headspace, this whole conversation could definitely fit real life as well. "He can't get out of there alone", no, Basil needs Sunny so they can both heal. I remember the Branch Coral ended up that explanation with a: “You know what you have to do, DREAMER” Yeah. Sunny is already somewhat conscious of it, that he has to do something for both of them. It’s his choice and his choice only (and ours but shh). He has to save Basil from Black Space, but also from himself in the real world.

Conclusion

I think there is something characteristically beautiful in Sunny wanting to save Basil even if facing the truth is horrible for him. It shows how much he cares about him. You wouldn’t do that for someone if you didn’t love them. He could’ve chosen not to go and reach out to him (and we’ve seen the consequences of those actions in the bad and ‘neutral’ endings). But I’m glad that the ending where he chooses to find him and help him irl is the true ending. Because, truly, this is probably the only way to go so he can also forgive himself.

Now, by all of that stated before, I’m not saying that Sunny has to be in love with Basil, but I do think that he’s very important to him no matter what, he truly considers him his best friend. And… I also believe that, in the future, he will see this and realize he doesn’t want anyone else. Because, in a way, Basil is probably the only person who truly knows what he’s going through.

Both of them have issues, yes, and they really, reaaaaally need to see a therapist and try to be better people. Mental illnesses are honestly a pain in the ass and if not treated well, they become a ticking time bomb. And trauma? Well… makes everything worse. All of them, Kel, Aubrey and Hero had their issues and ways to deal with their grief as well, but, naturally after what happened, Sunny and Basil do need more help, perhaps. And, honestly, I believe that, at the end of the game, they do get it, they do find a way to be better and find a way to move on. Together.

Both Basil and Sunny idealize each other in some way. Possibly Basil’s case is more evident in game and worrying, you could say. But I think that, when you’re young and get a new crush, it’s kind of impossible not to see them as perfect. When you fall for someone you tend to overlook their flaws and it is only with time that you start to see them and either embrace them or… well, hate them. Overlooking Sunny’s flaws unfortunately backfired on Basil, possibly because he was also mentally ill even before the event with Mari… But there is no way we can blame him for it and I think Sunny doesn’t, either.

Not even about the eye, either, because we all know Basil was going through a phsychotic episode and wasn't conscious of it. If anything, he tried to save Sunny from Something, not realizing Something was him. He split Sunny in half in his mind as well, similar to what Sunny did with DW Basil and Stranger.

I’ve seen a lot of people call Sunflower a bad ship because it’s “toxic” and… yes, it could be. It can definitely be, there are a lot of takes regarding that, oh boy… BUT I want to believe they would get together after going to therapy for years and I want to believe that they can help each other heal. I find Sunflower an interesting ship and an interesting friendship as well because all they have is each other. After all, there’s no way they can get a connection this… beautiful and strong and still somehow let it wither after all this time. There’s so much they have to talk about and they care too much about each other not to at least try.

Like I said at the beginning, they’re each other’s anchors and without the other, I doubt they can fully heal. It would be nice if they could be there for each other even when life is hard and even if their friends take their time to forgive them. (I know they will eventually forgive them, but I also think that it could take time… Especially in Hero’s case, perhaps?)

I like to think that this happened in the future and they were healing together ❤

Anyway, what do you think? Is there something else to add to this extended essay/weird analysis thing? I can’t believe I’m doing this lmao, I’m nervous.

PS: Please be kind? ❤

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[myheadinthecloudsnotcomingdown]

Hi!! So I’m a really big fan of both your quirkless!izuku fics and was wondering if you had any recommendations for similar stories? I dont have a preference for either villain or hero Izuku, or any particular pairing, I’m just looking for well written multi-chapter fix’s to see me through the apocalypse.

So, I have taken this ask as a challenge!

Quirkless Apocalypse (Over 50,000 words)

*WIP

Sorry most of these are WIPs, but I just went through my bookmarks and picked out some of my favorites. 

Entropy*

Maybe it was All Might's betrayal that finally broke him. Maybe it was the torment from his friends, day in and day out, or the crushing weight of society's collective dismissal of his existence. The reason isn't important anymore- only the consequences. Two years after he and three other students vanished from U.A., Midoriya Izuku is the leader of the fastest-growing group of villains in Japan, and no one is left to stand in his way- no one aside from All Might's successor, the next Symbol of Peace.

All orderly systems descend into chaos. No one is immune to entropy, heroes least of all.

One of my favorite villain fics, basically Izuku becoming worse than the league of villains ever was. 

Four Makes One Team*

“Kacchan,” Izuku said, getting the attention of the boy beside him. “What if I don’t want to be a hero?”

Izuku spoke as if he was setting the world on fire. As if he’d broken time in half and let the fabric of the universe collapse like a folding chair.

Katsuki twitched. “Then what else do you want to be?” There was a tinge of anger in Katsuki’s words, the hint of a shout tipping each consonant.

“Well,” Izuku scratched his neck, eyes locked on the stars attached to the ceiling that shown an odd neon yellow in the afternoon light. “Well, what if I wanted to help heroes or something instead.”

(Where Izuku decides he wants to be hero support, learns computer code, and digs way to deep into a villain case all for the sake of teamwork.)

Basically, Izuku and Katsuki meet some other canon characters as kids and basically become genius vigilantes.

Subject: A Comprehensive Report*

Izuku decides early on that heroics is not the only path to heroism.

I did not know that I needed parental Nighteye, but I definitely did. 

Finding Abandoned Hope*

Nothing in life was fair. Some people just had more luck than others. Midoriya Izuku was not one of those people. He learned that the hard way.

Not everyone gets good quirks. Not every quirk is accepted by people. This was a cruel and unforgiving world and Shinso Hitoshi knew that quite well.

Together, maybe they can have the life they both want.

Runaways, Vigilantes, Dadzawa. What else could you ask for?

Ripples on Deep Water*

Midoriya Izuku didn’t expect much from life. He knew it expected everything of him, and he was always trying to rise up and meet that challenge.Except for one little mutation in his genes that made all the difference.Except for one little change in the route home after a pretty depressing day.Or:When All Might crushes Izuku’s dreams, he crosses the path of someone who rebuilds them. Izuku’s going to be a hero... even if it won’t be exactly as planned.Or:How the tiniest wingbeat of a butterfly over the still ocean brings tsunamis to distant lands.

Izuku meets Mei at the right moment and basically keeps his dream alive. Support!Deku with an eye toward the hero course. 

Black Rabbit*

For most people, waking up in the secret base of one of Japan's most wanted vigilantes would probably be terrifying. For Shouto Todoroki it ends up being first stroke of luck he's ever had. Black Rabbit is nothing like the rumors and ends up being his first real friend. For once in his life Todoroki feels like someone actually cares about and supports him, Black rabbit going as far as to get him a new identity so he wouldn't have to go back to Endeavor. It also helps that, on top of being the embodiment of sunshine personality wise, under the mask Black Rabbit is the gosh darn cutest boy Todoroki has ever laid eyes on.

Izuku Midoriya is the vigilante known as Black Rabbit. Pros all over Japan have tried to catch him but all have failed. Nothing is known about him and he's been doing this for years, living in his secret base alone. He never had a friend until he rescued Todoroki. It's a relief and a blessing to finally have someone who knows him out of the mask and likes him as a person. There's a personal connection and closeness between them that he's never had before and he'll follow it as far as it takes him.

Now if they can only keep their respective identities a secret while attending UA

Vigilante!Deku with a healthy helping of Dadzawa and some sweet TodoDeku on the side. 

Who said the only thing green about him is his hair?*

All Might isn't able to get away from the reporters after saving Bakugou and Midoriya during the sludge incident.

Midoriya Izuku, without motivation, Bakugou's words of suicide ringing through his head. He makes a decision, something that wouldn't ruin Bakuguou's chances of becoming a hero, something where he could get away from everything that was hurting.

Izuku decides to run away. Impulsive and hasty, desperate and in shock, he decides that running away and surviving would hurt less than any other option when reality hits him full force.

Runaway!Deku, enough said.

Swan Dive*

The Slime Villain Incident, and the events leading up to it happen one year earlier. Izuku, broken and lost in the face of All Might's words, decides to take Kacchan's advice. But a familiar Underground Hero won't let a young life end so quickly. How will a simple right-place-right time scenario change things?

OR:

Aizawa Shouta saves the life of Midoriya Izuku and finds himself with a new apprentice and surrounded by a quickly growing family circle. What has he gotten himself into? Heavy Dadzawa and Dadmic. Auntie Nemuri and eventual redeemed Bakugo.

The sweetness! The trauma! This fic will definitely punch you in the heart in more ways than one. 

I’m Here*

What if All Might never dropped that bottle...? There was never a chance to prove himself. Midoriya never became a hero. Take a dive off the roof of the building, that's what Bakugo wanted, right? But a stranger stops him and gives him a new dream for the future. A boy's descent into madness and obsession but not without finding a family amongst a number of misfits. To kill some major league heroes. It's all they want to do and change society. What's the cost?

Insane!Villain!Deku. Literal chills, seriously. It definatly gets dark, so be ready for that. Also the league of villains as family and obsessive TodoDeku. 

I’m Doing This For Them*

Izuku always wanted to be a hero, but without a quirk almost everyone he met said that was impossible, but Izuku's stubborn and he never took no for an answer. So he decides to take his dream into his own hands and do the impossible. Even if he can't legally become a hero what's to stop him from doing it illegally?

A lie-detecting detective, a purple-haired kid, and an insomniac pro hero, that's who.

Or

Izuku decides to try his luck at becoming a vigilante and subsequently annoys the shit out of everyone he meets.

Sassy Viligante!Deku, EraserMic with Shinso, basically so much family!

The Yakuza isn’t that bad*

After Izuku was told by his idol that he can't be a hero without a quirk, he realized something. This world, where the quirked do whatever they want, and the quirkless are treated as less than human, is flawed. And what better way to repair a flawed world than returning it to when it wasn't?

Do you want Mafia!Deku? Very unique fic about Izuku taking over Overhaul’s operation (don’t worry about Eri, she’ll be fine) and pursuing a quirkless world.

Independence*

All Might is the number one hero, and has a beautiful wife, they are a beautiful, loving family. What no one knows is they have a quirkless son. When telling he him he can’t be a hero, Midoriya Izuku takes fate into his own hands, and tries to warn his parents he isn’t going to listen is the silliest of ways. He is still planning to be the best hero, even if he has to tear apart the society norms around him.

Bad bio-dadmight. Izuku is basically running on sheer spite at this point and it’s working. 

Nii-Chan! Nii-Chan!*

Aizawa Shouta is a teen who lives by the rules of logic and rationality, in his second year of Yuuei. When his parents kick him out when discovering he has a boyfriend, he finds himself alone on the street.

Midoriya Inko lives in a small flat with her young and only son after her ex-husband ran learning she was pregnant. With Mother and Son sharing a huge heart with un-measurable amounts of love, they find and help Aizawa.

With a new Mom and a little Brother, Aizawa finally has a family to be proud of.

How much found family can we incorporate into one story? The answer is a lot more than you’d think. Basically once Izuku adopts someone, they are family. Lots of fluff. 

Erased Potential*

Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta.

Pretty much my favorite Dadzawa fic. 

Net Neutrality (series)

I feel like this should be included even if each fic isn’t over 50,000 words. Info Broker!Deku and Vigilante!Deku with Eri getting the love she deserves. This inspired some parts of Mastermind, actually. 

One-Choice: Vigilante*

Time is a funny thing, the way even a single choice can change the world forever. Every single choice can turn the course of fate in unexpected directions.

Midoriya Izuku always wanted to be a hero. Ever since he was a child, he wanted to be someone who saves other with a fearless smile. But when his world comes crashing down around him, when even the tiniest spark of hope is crashed, what would he do?

This entire series is really good. It’s basically another take on what I’m doing with my For the Want of a Nail series. 

Secondary Colors*

"You got pushed down the stairs... and you're apologizing for it," he stated blandly. "That seems counterintuitive.""Um... sorry?" Izuku whispered. He was starting to shake a little, adrenaline flooding his veins and leaving him cold. He had no idea what Purple was going for with his blunt statements and the hand reaching toward his shoulder as if to steady him, but apologizing was generally safe."You don't have to apologize, dude. I don't know your name, but I doubt it's actually Deku.""Um. Midoriya." Izuku peered sideways at Purple as they rounded the corner. "Izuku Midoriya. Deku is just, um, just what my... friends call me." He winced."Sounds real friendly."

Izuku and Shinso are best friends with a lot of Dadzawa and Dadmic.

Pied Piper*

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

One of my favorite Vigilante!Deku fics, hands down. Izuku is an absolute mad lad in this. 

We Don’t Need No Fuckin’ Heroes* 

Almost half a year before Izuku's fated meeting with the Slime Villain, our protagonist finds himself running away from his fears.But instead of letting his fears overtake him and drag him back down to the darkness where they think he belongs, he finds friendship in the most unusual places and with the help of his friends they all claw their way up into the light where they want to be and where they truly belong.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Izuku met Dabi and Toga before they could join the league of villains? Amazing Vigilante!Deku

Detective Midoriya*

After the sludge incident, Izuku Midoriya's dream was officially crushed. However, a later experience takes the boy in a new direction. Izuku had never really contemplated being a detective, but his whole life he'd only ever wanted to help people with a smile on his face. Thanks to some luck and an entire police station, Izuku's dream is reborn.

Izuku joins the police force and basically proves that he’s as amazing as we all know he is. 

There is No Such Thing as Competely Forgiven

Deku doesn't become a hero, though he might be considered one to people that have been rejected by society. He can be petty, twisted, and is loyal to a fault. That hardly makes him evil. No, he just knows the worlds got to change and he can't do that from a side that praises people like Bakagou Katsuki and All Might. He also would love nothing better than to get even with a few people that ruined his life...

Katsuki knows that he is the reason that Deku is dead. He just can hope one day he can forgive himself and that others can as well for the role he played in it. He needs to make the world a better place, one that Izuku would have wanted. He needs to be a hero that does more than punch villains in the face. But its really hard to be a needed change when he can't trust most of his own decisions are the right ones.

One of my favorite villian!Deku fics of all time, mostly because of the found family stuff it’s got going on with the league. It’s also got a sequel if you want more. 

A Deadman’s Gun

“I—“ Izuku hesitated, gaping wordlessly, before admitting softly. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home. There’s nothing for me, there.”

“So you filled this hole by playing detective— And how long is that going to last, I wonder?” Stain replied, still massaging his chin. “But you— You have potential.”

Izuku blinked at Stain’s chest, before looking up. “Excuse me?”

“What a waste would it be, to let you become a red splatter on the sidewalk.” Stain continued, almost contemplating. “No. No, kid, what you need is a new purpose. Your old one is gone? Well, time to get off your ass and find something else—“

Ok, there need to be more parental Stain fics in this fandom, because this is absolutely amazing!

Hero Class Civil Warfare

Heroes lead by Bakugo.Villains lead by Midoriya.Seven days prep time.Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

Ok! Ok! I know this isn’t Quirkless!Deku but I have to include it because it’s a classic and it’s pretty similar to my fics, so I know you’ll love it anyway. It focuses on Izuku’s intelligence rather than his quirk. 

[oliveskylarks]

~lwj astrological birth chart analysis~

hi!!! i was thinking about lan zhan’s birthday, and i got a bit curious as to what his birth chart would look like. i did a lot of guessing and interpreting here- i know there’s no official canon year in our history that this all takes place, and that its reaaaaaally difficult to get outer/generational planets right that far back in time. i did my best. enjoy!!

Aquarius Sun

The Aquarius Sun is, above all else, an individual. They strive for their independence and freedom, in whatever form that may take. Ruled by Uranus, they value and look forward to drastic changes and seek to differ from others around them. They are skilled in dealing with facts, logic, and ideas. They have razor sharp intuition, and they usually learn to rely on it early in their lives. Because of this, the Aquarius tends to stick to their beliefs on what is right and what is wrong, and usually cannot be swayed from this, unless shown concrete evidence to the contrary. The combination of these traits create an engaged spirit that seeks to maintain an emotional distance from whatever, or whoever, they are dealing with. This emotional distance is key in defining the core essence of Aquarius- they use it to attempt to transcend the mundane, the drama, and those annoying emotions they can’t seem to get rid of. An Aquarius may face challenges that arise resulting from their detachment, and their struggles with emotion and working with others. This may make them come across as unemotional, rigid, or cold. However, they’re motivated to learn as much as they can with the world around them, and use their principles and intuition as a guide for exploring the universe. They deal in the abstract, and they are fundamentally unconventional, seeking to push boundaries and fight for the social causes they believe in. Keywords to Aquarius Sun: eccentric, independent, detached, curious, intuitive, self reliant

Scorpio Moon

Scorpio Moons are mysterious and intense. Ruled by both Pluto and Mars, they are passionate, and in search of the deeper truths behind something’s first appearance. This parallels themselves, and the truth of their emotions. Beneath all of the first impressions you get from them, there lies the truth of their inner world: sensitive to emotions around and within them, vulnerable (especially to dark mindsets), and the fear of expressing themselves and all these secrets that have been bubbling beneath the surface. All of these things they deal with makes them crave emotional purges- letting out all these powerful emotions, anger, jealousy, pain, love, compassion, in bursts because they just can’t handle keeping it to themselves anymore. They’re secretive, and it’s a defense mechanism. Keywords to Scorpio Venus: intense, sensual, moody, secretive

Capricorn Mercury

They are typically very cautious in what they say. Ruled by Saturn, they are detail oriented but they know what the big picture is. They’re good at organizing their thoughts and activities. They are conservative in what they say, and they are high focused and goal oriented. They do get irritated when too much information comes their way, because they aren’t given the time they need to process that information. Keywords to Capricorn Mercury: focused, intelligent, analytical

Capricorn Venus

People with Venus in Capricorn typically like to impress people with their intelligence and drive to succeed. Ruled by Saturn, love is very serious to them, and they might feel like they need to be at a stable, independent place in their lives to be able to settle down with someone. Behind their “cool” demeanor, they are warm and emotional people. They may be shy, but they show their feelings through their actions. They say what they mean, and how they appear to others is very important to them. To feel safe and secure, they often need to have a sense of financial security or wealth, so they may choose someone who is well off to be with. There is something soulful about someone with a Capricorn Venus, and it is even more intriguing because of their sense of privacy. Keywords for Capricorn Venus: quiet, ambitious, analytical

Leo Mars

They are extremely proud people. They tend to be quite competitive, and they do not accept compromise, or failure. They play the game of life by their own rules. They put their all into everything, including their ego, so they can get quite defensive when provoked or humiliated. Leo Mars people are naturally born leaders. They strive to succeed in any and every single thing they do. They are skilled performers, and deep inside themselves, they have a need to create. They act with their heart. However, their pride is their downfall, aided only by the high standards they set for themselves. They love being the center of attention, in more ways than one. They do take care of their partner’s needs; however, their attention is focused most on their own pleasure. They crave the excitement of a new relationship, and all the affection and love that comes along with it. They can get jealous easily, and they may “test” their partner’s loyalty. They become easily irritated with disloyalty or dishonesty. Keywords for Leo Mars: direct, dramatic, vivacious, proud

Sagittarius Jupiter

The Jupiter in Sagittarius placement creates a powerful urge to travel, to expand your knowledge and learn about other cultures. They typically can come across as detached, friendly, and non-judgemental in passing. They seek to expand wisdom, and to teach. Learning is their highest calling in life. This is a Sagittarius Jupiter’s greatest strength, but it can also cause them to come across as a know-it all, or rather aloof. Typically, not always, they may be active, and seek competition. 

Taurus Saturn

Those with their Saturn in Taurus seek tangible challenges and answers from their world. Saturn, as a generational planet, shows our limitations and challenges, and Taurus deals in the sensual, the tangible, and the desire for material pleasures. This can manifest as collection of things they deem beautiful, such as art, clothing, food, or just money. They can feel intimately tied to their physical world, and weaknesses can be found in hoarding goods valuable to them. Taurus brings this planet reliability, stability, and determination. 

Libra Uranus

Another generational placement, Libra channels Uranus’s desire for transcendence and enlightenment into art. They may be musically gifted, or particularly literate or artistic. Their deep imagination gives way for an incredibly sense for detail, and intuition. They tend to be restless, and dislike others intruding into their private lives. Uranus in Libra is uniquely prone to domestic troubles, such as the loss of their romantic partner. They can be unconventional, and are often characterized as anarchic. The balance and reasoning they bring to this planet brings changes to the traditional definitions of law, norms, and relationships.

Scorpio Neptune

Another generational placement, the Scorpio in Neptune individual is deeply emotionally spiritual. They can find physical intimacies and pleasures as spiritual connections, and seek explanation for the truths they seek about the universe in the esoteric, or the occult. They search beyond reason- they delve into the inner workings of the soul to define the world around them. They often find inner conflict in their selfish desires and fantasies, and their overwhelming tendency for self-sacrifice. 

Cancer Pluto

As Pluto represents hidden power and the deep psyche, Cancer gives meaning to this with emotional connection. Every emotion is incredibly intense, and a lot of inner conflict comes from their efforts to control their emotions. They are protective of those they love, and because of this, they seek to always be one step ahead of all their troubles in order to protect themselves and those they love. They find their purpose in their family and their relationships. They may also find themselves clinging to their childhood belief systems, even when this conflicts with what they find they desire in the present.

--

OKAY LETS CHAT. lets address the elephant in the room. yes, canonically, mdzs is not set in any time in our history. im just a hoe for astrology and i pieced together a relative year based on historical context given throughout canon, 423 AD. already a bit shakey on the timing of things, but also, because this is soooo far back, i did not factor in retrogrades for outer planets. technically speaking, since this is so far back in history, retrogrades become a bit insignificant when calculating for planets like jupiter, that switch signs every year and can retrograde several times a year. oh fuckin well.

BUT IS THIS NOT THE MOST LAN WANGJI THING YOUVE EVER SEEN??????

let’s dive right in, shall we?

We all know homeboy’s an aquarius sun, but like come on. “value and look forward to drastic changes and seek to differ from others around them” ???? “skilled in dealing with facts, logic, and ideas” ???? “emotional distance is key in defining the core essence of Aquarius- they use it to attempt to transcend the mundane, the drama, and those annoying emotions they can’t seem to get rid of. An Aquarius may face challenges that arise resulting from their detachment, and their struggles with emotion and working with others. This may make them come across as unemotional, rigid, or cold. however, they’re motivated to learn as much as they can with the world around them, and use their principles and intuition as a guide for exploring the universe” ???? fuck yeah my dude.

having a scorpio mood explains his unsettling demeanor that we experience through wwx’s 15 year old eyes. Not only is he quiet and rule abiding, but he’s ~mysterious~. he’s secretly brimming with enough feelings to make rambunctious wwx shit himself. not only that, but he’s emotionally constipated!!! we love to see it. WE ALSO LOVE TO SEE EVIDENCE OF THE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY THAT MAKES WWX WANT TO CRY EVERY TIME LWJ TELLS HIM HE LOVES HIM OKAY BYE

cap mercury- reserved, brief, to the point. all in character.

cap venus- warm and emotional behind a cool demanor???? If that aint him???? soulful, intentional, and a rich motherfucker. yes yes yes.

OKAY THE LEO MARS MAKES THE MOST SENSE. Everyone’s so suprised to see him tell wwx to shut up and get out so many times in the beginning of wwx’s stay at the cloud recesses. But leo mars really does give him quite the temper. He’s got a bit of an ego, even if he doesn’t show it all that often. he needs to be the best at everything he does- and he is. he’s truly hanguang-jun. also in novel canon, he a dom top. and we love him for it. he knows what he wants. he knows how to get it.

okay normally i don’t put much thought into outer/generational planets, but because this is a “historical” tale, i think it’s important to put his personality into context. of course, none of these planets have an incredibly direct hand into the personality, they more give context and the foundations of the personality given your generation. first off- the sagittarius jupiter is actually so true?? he shows up in the chaos, he gets into the thick of conflicts all over the place. of course he does, how else is he supposed to learn? even if he’s quiet and doesn’t show all the character development he goes through, it’s there. there’s a reason why after wwx comes back to life, that he doesn’t really go after him for demonic cultivation. it’s because lwj seeked out places that put him out of his comfort zone (finding wwx in the burial grounds after the sunshot campaign to see all the wens, following wwx after his massacre), that really taught him the lesson “what is right? what is wrong? what is black? what is white?” let me tell you, if he just stayed in the cloud recesses year round, he would not have arrived at that conclusion. and he sure as hell comes off as aloof. if you don’t think so, ask su she.

we don’t really get to see much of lwj’s domestic life in the thick of the plot, so it’s hard to say how accurate his saturn sign is. all i know is that he’s reliable and stable as hell.

doing research on the libra uranus placement cracked me the fuck up. musically gifted? check? your romantic partner dying and leaving you alone? check. unconventional relationships? check. that last one i really want to stress. being “cutsleeve” in that historical context is very unconventional. also, given the romantic relationship that has been modelled to him in his most formative years, a stable, healthy relationship with good communication is rather unconventional. for sure, he challenges laws, norms and relationships throughout the cultivation world.

the scorpio neptune i also found really fascinating. as painful as it is for us to admit, for a long time, lan zhan’s desires and love for wwx can be interpreted as a bit selfish. not inherently!!! just that it was unrequited, and especially since wwx screamed at him in a cave as he lay dying and lwj just told him over and over again that he loved him. (wanna stress!! love is not inherently selfish!!! context!!!) he also has an undeniable tendency to self sacrifice. all the fucking time. he just don’t stop. every opportunity that he can take to punish himself for not adhering to his childhood standards, he physically punishes himself. he blames himself for a shitton of things that’s happened to him. and this is a major conflict for his character development. i also find it interesting that the scorp neptune gives an interest in the esoteric/occult. given that this is a fantasy world where he gets to go kill monsters and demons, i find this very interesting.

cancer pluto. hoooooo booyyyyy. he sure as hell tries to control his emotions. from what we, the audience, can see, he seems to have a very intense emotional world. this is only proven further by his scorpio moon and neptune. his dedication to waiting for his deceased mother for a month after she passed, his continued attachment to his uncle despite lqr’s devout hatred of the love of his life, and his dedicated attachment to wwx, this seems pretty true to me. and if anyone tries to tell me he doesnt cling to his childhood belief systems despite their contrast to his current desires, idk what ill do. Ill have to reread and rewatch everything.

oh boy!!! this was actually so much fun. if i got anything wrong, lmk!! ill make edits!! bc i did this all within an hour in the middle of the night, completely dehydrated lol

thanks for reading this far!!!

[dxxtruction]

eps2.2_init1.asec

Mr.Robot: Season 2 Episode 4

break-down / character analysis / head canons 

(Spoilers obviously, but contains stuff up through end of season 4)

A: first scene

I love this scene a lot so I wrote a lot. 

(The Memorial Day situation)

Elliot had been pen-testing, doing white-hat hacking for some wall-street gig. (Timeline= ?-May 2014)

He was on some type of project where he needed to hack until it was un-hackable. (Seemed dedicated to his job there)

Elliot is court ordered into anger management with a shrink (Krista) after being fired for destroying the servers. Hs he claims he was locked in there and fell asleep then woke up in a destroyed room. (I still suspect this retelling to be halfway unreliable even though it’s how it’s told at least twice in the show.)

This happened Memorial Day weekend. - night or around 5pm presumably - people wanted to go clubbing etc. and Elliot did not. They couldn’t leave because Elliot was working. (He didn’t care about them enough to let them go, or was just dedicated to his job you choose.)

        2. (Job offering) 

Elliot is offered to work at all-safe by Angela around this time (Halloween 2014) but it’s been months since he had been working so what was he doing?

A bunch of Grey-hat hacks to get shady people arrested? Seems he may have just finished one when Darlene arrived. 

He sees some potential in accepting, because it a Trojan horse (both what you think it is and slang for a backdoor into a server network). 

He’s been thinking about it, though we don’t know how long he’s been sitting on this offer. “the right access the right malware.” His plan is to take down Evil Corp (It’s the first time he’s voiced this, and Darlene doesn’t take him entirely serious at first.)

      3. (Darlene and Elliot)

Darlene comes on halloween, she seems bothered by something that may have happened that night (if my timeline is right it could be she had a fight with Cisco because they should’ve still been together then) whatever it is Darlene feels she needs Elliots company that night. 

This is the first mention of init-1 the code between her and Elliot. He tries to excuse himself when Darlene first answers, with an excuse he’s going out. Darlene picks up that this is half-assed, showing us that despite her being gone she knows her brother well. (It’s little things like these that give hints as to the hosts habits and how much they overlap with MM’s)

“Great Darlene, haven’t seen you in a long time either. I’d love to hang out.” Judging by the fact Elliot is just now telling Darlene he’s been fired we can assume the extent of there communication is pretty much zilch. Darlene has been away from the city for some time, but I’m not sure its ever mentioned how long. 

Per tradition, they’re smoking weed while watching the careful massacre of the bourgeoise (1984). (Darlene is a talkative/hungry type of high and Elliot just chills... and maybe has deep philosophical conversations) This movie carries a lot of importance because it becomes symbolic of F-Society. It starts out with the masked man killing the bourgeoisie kids at a new years eve party, but I do wonder if thats the entire plot or not.

Darlene says several things about it: 

(A) The movie was made to disprove meritocracy. (showing the separation of class through the absurd ways in which the characters act.) 

(B) it was the source of their psychological dysfunction. (Probably because it’s x-rated, I think this line should only be taken as a joke)

In the dream sequence later in the episode Tyrell and Joanna are wearing similar outfits to the brother and sister in the movie (hinting how Elliot probably sees them)

We get clarification on Darlene having Panic attacks, this is something that has come up before. Elliot shows genuine concern for her mental well-being.

 “Since when did pretending everything is okay become the all mighty norm?” *proceeds to act like that at the beginning of season 2* 

Unlike Elliot, Darlene has a digital social life. Has instagram, and orders off postmates probably lives a normal life of a 23 year old who happens to be really smart and good at stuff. I definitely think all that go thrown in the trash the second f-society became more than just a what-if. By the beginning of season 1 she’s just as off the grid as Elliot is. (But like I just wanna see Darlene live her life again dammit.) 

Sidenote: I wonder who this one is. Part of me wants to say this is Elliot the  host, but I have my suspicions MM took over after Memorial Day, (or at the least started to front more often…). Though it does leave me asking why there are sudden amnesia barriers in the time leading up to 5/9. Fragment Krista says MM found it important to start messing with Elliots memories and his past and inadvertently this meant forgetting his sister? Was it a subconscious choice? I can’t confirm, but I still do wonder how much of Elliot we really see in flashbacks and how much of it is MM.

         4. (“Do you talk to mom?”)

Dialogue: “No. You?” (“Fuck no, she still shits on dad every time I talk to her… I wish I remembered him better.”)

I don’t have a note really, but this moment is fairly awkward given what we know about Ed—d. Not sure how I read Elliot’s face here, but I think he’s probably on the same page as her because- 

Elliot has kept the Mr.Robot jacket.

I believe this indicates the host and MM I think are (were) both protected from knowing about what their father did otherwise that shit would be trash. I wonder Does host Elliot also have the view of his father as his only friend? Anyway I definitely see this as a trigger for Robot, like, thats his clothes for one and ed—d is sort of the trauma he holds.

A switch definitely occurs once the mask is on. There’s an awkwardness where Darlene loses her laughter: does she know exactly what his disorder is? I think at the very least she suspects and picks up on these things. She knows that Elliot is forgetful and experiences moments of derealization because she’s dealt with those moments with him. They are siblings after all, and I think this scene is pretty much in here to hone that in.  

Mr.Robot starts a whole speech about a plan to take down E-Corp. Elliot (in reference to everyone because I think this is a shared understanding) knows the hard part of this hack will be he fallout (“that’s the key, the follow through.”) 

More indicators he’s been really thinking about this for a while (At the very least since Memorial Day so 6 months; at most since his dad got leukemia). He (Mr.Robot) works out that E-corp will try to come back from the hack and there needs to be a way to stop the from happening. 

Destroy public confidence = destroy E-Corp  (And this is what Darlene’s been shown doing this season so far) 

He then takes off the mask and he’s gone quiet (dissociated?) Probably a switch back. (He looks at it in a way that makes me feel like he doesn’t remember putting it on.)

End scene. 

B: Darlene’s visit

“The only way to patch a vulnerability is by exposing it first. The flip side is exposing the vulnerability leaves you open for an exploit.” (I believe this line tells us this episodes logic)

(Plan discussion.)

The plan involves losing confidence in e-corp and Elliot has lost confidence in the plan. (though we are aware phase 2 isn’t necessarily just about losing public confidence, Elliot is later shown to not want this either). He sees it as too dangerous to continue on with, and he feels guilty about it given how Gideon was killed, he doesn’t want more people to die. 

However, I feel as if he probably already saw into all the vulnerabilities (because he’s like that). Already figuring they could be exposed (hence danger). He sees the best option would be to quit while they can, but Darlene is refusing. 

“What did you guys think was going to happen exactly?” - Darlene referring to Elliot as plural. (We love to see it)

Elliot says it wasn’t him who said everything. (Clarification that a switch did happen in scene 1.)

      2. (“This is what she does”)

What does darlene do? 

Likely: When she wants something but doesn’t give full honesty about it and doesn’t tell Elliot everything. In other words Darlene keeps secrets, and hides the important bothersome details. She sort of beats around the bush. (She does something like this in scene 1 she needs Elliots company but won’t talk about or say why then avoids confrontation of her mental health)

She’s doing it here not so much for her own comfort but the safety of her brother, because she knows he has vulnerabilities, and can be triggered and emotionally unstable. She doesn’t want to upset him because she needs him to help her and he can’t do that in an unstable state.

C: Chess 

1. (Meeting with Ray to play chess)

Chess isn’t really the focus here; Ray picks up on a lot of conflict happening internally, and as an exploit to get Elliot to trust him gives the chess board over. 

We see how guilt is burdening Elliot, and he is considering owning up to everything he did. Even mentions how it could stop Darlene from doing “crazy shit”. He doesn’t want to lose her either; or lose any more people for that matter. Losing people was not a part of saving the world he signed up for. There’s also guilt in general because of 5/9 because things are turning out bad. 

I’m fairly convinced Mr.Robot is incapable of feeling guilt, or is just hiding it behind the 10 layers of clothes. (Though I guess he’s never met Gideon so why should he care?). Anyway he is consistently focused on seeing everything through no matter the costs. 

I just find Mr.Robot coming in and saying he’d swan dive off a building for saying anything pretty funny (don’t ask)

He exaggerates a lot of the time but honestly sometimes he is dead serious about putting the body in pain or in life and death scenarios and so he can be fairly destructive so it’s hard to tell if he is joking, but hey MM (and to my hc host) does hard drugs, so...

2. (A game to end all games between us)

“Winner takes all.” (“Of what?”) “Us.”

(Mr.Robot really do be like “I’mma kill you or myself” Bitch I do not think..)

Robot says Elliot “will be absent from knowing. Losing time forever. A deep black void.” Basically he’s gonna throw him in a pit. And honestly it sounds confident, like he probably feels he can take full control since he’s been around the longest along with the core. (But we know he wouldn’t do it even if he could, the guy has a soft spot. Anyway this is like the IDK what number of times Robot be doing a loop around to get a point across to Elliot. He do be playing the long game and I think secretly he loves a good scheme.) (This is what Mr.Robot does.) 

Elliot gets visited by Krista in prison and has told her about the game. (Judging by the fact they meet in her ‘office’ and not in the “Kitchen table” setting we can assume they’re allowed to meet in a private location.) (Edit: disregard this bit I forgot about the reveal that he’d just imagining it on like two separate layers to feel safe enough to speak)

“Krista’s wrong annihilation is always the answer” (He’s just as bad honestly, Krista teach this boy constructive ways). He sees annihilation as self improvement, getting rid of parts of yourself that are ugly or unwanted. We create our identity around desire, and that means destroying parts that are undesirable so all thats left is practically a mask of who we are. (I think the tie into Whiterose through this spill about annihilation is a bit cheap but like I understand the choice) Anyhow Elliot’s pretty much agreeing to a western showdown and has no idea it’s all a rouse so Robot can have his point. 

4. The chess match

Ed—d apparently taught Elliot his first ways to code through teaching him computer chess. He talks like he really understands all the logic of chess which makes me think he was letting Ray win before. 

Mr.Robot definitely feels a bit uncomfortable with being associated with him just a hint in his voice. 

Ultimately they find out neither of them can either win or lose but Mr.Robot knew all along that would happen.

“Fighting for the future we want, it isn’t about playing chess is about what we do out there with them.” (peaking out of his ten layers to show he cares about the outside world, while also expressing how they need to get out of prison.)

“I want to be here Elliot, with you.” (God my heart.) 

D: Darlene and Cisco’s hook up

Darlene is very paranoid while walking around, she isn’t sure if F-society really are being offed. However in front of F-society she tries to comfort their suspicions. 

Cisco comes to Darlene to warn her about getting killed by DA… but he’s the one who ultimately gets offed. (Poetic cinema)

We learn Darlene’s the type to get upset and defiantly end up having sex in the bathroom of a shady dive bar with her on and off again boyfriend (also Cisco why didn’t you pull out before talking about Dark Army again, like dude lol.)

This is definitely the point they start getting back together. 

There a message in gold written on the wall that reads “There's an unequal amount of good and bad in most things. The trick is to figure out the ratio and act accordingly. Stay frosty all. Peace.” - its from this tweet: x 

Operation Berenstain is first mentioned. I’m in agreement the name references the popular conspiracy about alternate timelines. 

E: Leon lays it down

Leon asks Elliot if he wants to even be here, tells him he “has to dream in order to find out the future he’s fighting for.” (My initial though is I’m not sure if this means here as in prison or here as in alive, sorta feels like the latter)

“If you like it” (The future you envision) “then it’s beautiful, if it’s not then you might as well fade the fuck out right now.” (Hard) (definitely means the latter)

I appreciate Leon so much. “Existence could be beautiful or it could be ugly. But thats on you.” He’s really good for Elliot, really no bs, no loop arounds, he just tells it straight. And you know what? He listens to him because he actually goes to bed dreaming about it. 

“What is the future? Leon says one needs to understand that before they’re ready to fight for their existence.”

This dream sequence is so impactful, Leon’s influence. I’m not gonna go in on the shots, however we do get to see a really honest view on how Elliot truly sees the people that have been a part of his life in a variety of subtle ways. We see a lot of what he desires or seeks is happiness for everyone around him. 

“Will I reconnect for those I care for. Will I reunite with old friends long gone. See the ones I love find true happiness. Maybe this future includes people I never dreamed of getting close to. Even make amends with those I have unfairly wronged. A future that’s not so lonely. A future filled with friends and family. The world I’ve always wanted. And I’d like very much to fight for it.”

I bold texted that last bit because it really hits, and I think its what becomes the foundations for what Elliot ends up saying to Whiterose at the end. Not to pull a Darlene but this show is clearly trying to say how hard it is to find connection in a world of capitalist alienation. 

When Leon sort of digs into Elliot and asks if he really does want to die. Elliot’s dream confirms, no, we find out Elliot actually wants to live in order to improve the future, and he wants connections to be there. It’s what he’s always wanted. (Yet he still does the end all match right after this sequence because he’s convinced he’ll win and get that future on his own. Both these boys are very stubborn.) 

F: Do you remember the first command you ever taught me?

Init 1. 

What Elliot taught Darlene when her computer kept crashing. She says this in scene one, and its what makes Elliot stop making excuses. The same thing happens here, Elliot has no choice but to help. Thats what the code between them means: Drop everything and help me.

What is it? Init 1 is a run level in linux which indicates a single-user/emergency mode. Streamlining the route to only the root, while disconnecting from the network or multitasker. Used for administrative tasks.

Elliot has to stop the FBI from owning f-society and the only way to do that is by using Ray’s computer. (fuck Ray btw). Just to make sure, he asks Darlene is he is really needed by her or if she wants Robot. I think he needed the reassurance that Darlene still cares (and of course she does). 

The second part of the title is .Asec - android files preventing corruption from other programs. So the whole title translates to roughly; Help prevent corruption. And a nod to the way of doing it through hacking into the FBI android phone network. (These titles are genius and have so many layers)

G. Side stuff

1. The FBI have found Fun Society LLC through Dom. I love Dom but idk how I feel about her in these early episodes. She is a fairly good detective though. I think Romero’s character being linked to stealing power from the grid is a nod to the novel Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. Ellison touches on social and intellectual issues faced by the African Americans in the early twentieth century. Also I noticed Dom’s supervisor is there and he’s already seen trying to sway the direction away from uncovering he truth. 

2. On that note so is Angela. I think we’re intentionally supposed to be annoyed with her because she’s staying at E-Corp even though she knows she’s being manipulated. 

“All of my dreams are coming true right now.” - as the bastard guys are being arrested. Not to say this slapped but it did.

We find out Whiterose and Price are in bed together on this thing and this has something to do with Angela and the plant negotiations in the lawsuit. On the phone Whiterose is fussy about moving her operation to the Congo quickly. (lets not try to reason how this plan of hers all works or what the hell it even is). Things are awkward knowing that Price is Angela’s dad, I can’t tell if he’s actually getting close because he wants to know his daughter or if its purely out of getting her around he and Whiterose’s fingers. (both? both.) 

In any case I think Esmail sets up the Angela as a counter vulnerability within the main plot, as she’s being open to exploitation by remaining at E-Corp. (refer to the logic set-up) 

3. I don’t care for Joanna’s appearance in this episode but she’s running out of money to pay of this guy who has information that could frame Tyrell for murder and is still seeing this guy she definitely hates or likes him but doesn’t love him. Complicated. She needs the severance package to pay this guy off. Tyrell is another vulnerability but he’s undercover.

H. Head canons I thought of while watching 

If Elliot hadn’t opened the door when he did Darlene would’ve picked the locks.

Darlene’s go to is always some type of asian food.

The weed is Elliots but the Bowl is Darlenes.

We see coats on the wall hooks in Elliots room, but I think the likes the cold because its grounding so he usually leaves without one on.

When Robot is high (on weed) he just talks like nonstop.

Not a head canon really but I notice Elliot never uses the backrests in chairs. However Robot becomes the chair he is the chair.

Darlene stopped going to dance classes after the hack, I think Angela has also stopped going.

Leons favorite subjects are philosophy and history

[khdiscussions]

Huge Breakdown: Sleeping Realms Theory

 Tl:dr, I still don’t like the theory, and my rebuttal had almost zero points proven otherwise and you can read the whole thing below of my liveblogging.

The fact that they call Riku’s act an “Act of true love” first of all makes me believe this is meant to sell canon SoRiku and I’m already unimpressed. It shows biased phrasing and takes away from any credibility this theory could ever have with anybody who isn’t a SoRiku shipper because it is ultimately pushing that Sora and Riku are going to be romantically involved and as somebody who really needs to edit her ship list and remove SoRiku...no.

...Okay so the Ultimania already proved this wrong I don’t even have to go through the rest.

Before I go into it, I can see how from just reading their summary, you can fall into the trap, however, the Realm of Sleep and Dreaming Worlds are ultimately the same thing. You cannot enter the Realm of Sleep without Dreaming Worlds unless you are coming to the brink between it and death. As such, it would still require every world Sora visits to be a Dreaming World, and thus have fallen into darkness. Since we know this isn’t the case, my “Alpha Timeline” and “Beta Timeline” labels are fully and 100% accurate. Even the way they describe it “World Line” implies and Alpha and Beta Timeline. If we ignore that KHUx is confirmed to be taking place in data still, the world lines cannot be in the same timeline, as they’d be two separate universes. Meaning the events of Alpha Timeline and Beta Timeline are two separate entities and cannot be condensed into the same Realm.

Meaning even if this is Beta Timeline, Alpha Timeline and anything that happened in it are factually irrelevant, because when Sora and co. slip into the alternate Worldline, because essentially the events of it don’t come to pass or matter. If this was real parallel worlds split, then even if Sora is now inhabiting the mind of his Beta Timeline counterpart (which for the record, he should have his memories if he’s the one who brought them all back) there still needs to be a Beta Riku, a Beta Kairi, etc, otherwise there wouldn’t be Xehanort attacking and even then.

If this is a separate worldline then that still wouldn’t be counted as the same timeline, however. Which the Ultimania directly argues against in its pages when things occur in a single timeline, but I digress.

Other things I find directly wrong as conflicting with power is Sora directly states in KH3 that it was Kairi’s faith in him and her light (her powers alone) that helped him hold his form. Not the PoH’s.

“Riku’s strength comes from his love for Sora”

Actually, in that scene they’re talking about how Riku wants to rescue Aqua, and that’s his desire to “protect what matters.” This is a line that has been paralleled in several games from Riku (most notably in which is Kingdom Hearts 3D) and given the line makes him flashback to Terra, it’s likely that his strength is actually being explained as coming from protecting the people he cared about. Aqua, who gave him the chance to escape the RoD (who he’s trying to protect), Terra, who gave him the Keyblade in the first place, and Sora and Kairi, his two best friends.

When facing the same way, there are also several difference in KH3D’s and KH3′s hair that stand out. They aren’t the same and they point that out in the theory. In this case I don’t think it’s similar enough to be of note.

Second, this does not explain how and why Riku dropped and since he is still dropping a) In the Realm of Darkness into a different realm and different World Line and b) Into a completely separate World Line when he should still be alive in the first. At this point, Riku is alive in the Alpha Timeline and would have no idea of his impending death. A drop should not be necessary. So my Riku point questioning why is still valid.

Xigbar cutting out is also a direct easter egg to us, the viewers to keep us from understanding what’s happening, and not what actually occurs in the game. 

...I want to quit at the logo having bad graphics gradient being used as evidence but I’ll keep going but this kind of shady business practice would likely cause such an amount in distrust that sales after KH3 would plummet and anybody who buys what is the biggest release of the series to be told it’s only that in technicality has no standards. I’m sorry. If this is actually technically KHII.9 my trust in Square and Disney (especially Disney is important, because you should know I am Disney stan 69 and see them as good) is gone. Just poof, gone. No more. And I wouldn’t want to invest in the next big entry because what if it’s just another lie.

(Nitpick: Nomura said an early world in KH3 would be Twilight Town, not that it would be the very first world. Even then, had 0.2 been packaged with KH3 like initially planned, it’s highly likely it and Olympus would’ve been 2.9 anyways.)

(More nitpicks, the TWEWY explanation does not account for the fact that Joshua actually has power to bring people back to life so long as a shred of their soul exists. It sounds like Shibuya got destroyed and Josh saved what little was left of his friends to take to somewhere they could be safe, not necessarily that the Sleeping Realm in specific called out to him. This is again Nitpicking.)

Ansem Reports foreshadow an old plot twist that’s not even valid. Aqua’s magic is now the source that rescued Kairi, not Xehanort’s experiments sending her away. Kairi being flung out the door is also representative of the events of the Island falling and them losing their safety and shelter. It’s not Kairi herself, but Ansem’s arrival on the islands that Xehanort is talking about.

Everything about this seems like it’s trying to invalidate SoKai with the Paopu fruit scene. She eats the fruit. Maybe if you hadn’t opened with “Riku loves Sora and this is Riku’s act of true love” I’d buy that this is real but as it stands the authors come off as salty that SoKai got a Paopu sharing scene.

Kairi’s death is the release of her heart as Nomura called it directly in the Ultimania. I know this was written before the Ultimania’s release but moving on it’s not a death sequence. Even then her death resembles Xion’s so it’d be more inline with the Replica theory floating around, so not a Dream Eater.

“Kairi is the Darkside in the Dive” No.

Even if Kairi did die, her heart has no darkness, all that would happen is she’d fade into darkness. She cannot physically form any dark entity, let alone one that has always been connected to the darkness in Sora’s heart. And yes I read how they point out that it’s made of water but that’s because it’s literally made from the Final World itself. As for where Kairi’s heart is, canon answers this. It’s waiting for Sora, because the Heartless cannot kill or steal her heart through the Lich. Remember back to KH1? Kairi had lost her heart, but rather than form a Heartless, all we got is a body. 

More Ultimania tidbits disproving this, but the Dive to the Heart is meant to take place after the entirety of KH3. This means it’s after Sora leaves to rescue Kairi and has beaten Xehanort.

Kairi being a Chirithy theory my points are still valid on because it doesn’t work. Kairi cannot be a Chirithy because we see her after the drop point in her KH2 outfit. Therefore meaning the cat ears have nothing to do with her after the drop point.

Point on the Dream Portals is accurate and inaccurate. It says they’re ways to travel to other worlds, but everytime they’re used it’s in exactly that way in game. The two pink locations bring Sora closer to the Realm of Light after the Final World, and the second portal takes him into Scala ad Caelum, another world. It ain’t that deep.

More points, Dream Eaters don’t just exist in the Realm of Sleep. Summoning Meow Wow and friends does not matter if they can exist outside of the Realm of Sleep. Scala ad Caelum is implied to be a special world to begin with and I’ll be honest, the Caribbean is probably for ease of gameplay. If anything, I would be more curious in how water in the Realm of Sleep (and memories re:CoM) allows people to walk.

“Gayblade” Your SoRiku bias is showing. (Also Nomura violated a lot of things for rule of cool. You think a gameplay mechanic showing up means something?)

Comparing what happened to Sora and Aqua is very different. Aqua had darkness shoved into her (Nort lite) while Sora actively fell into the deep darkness he was surrounded by. Aqua could’ve emerged from the water, but did not. Sora chased darkness, and fell right in. As for how they saved Aqua in the Alpha Timeline, this wouldn’t have changed? It was Sora using his light to reach Aqua as she fell in the darkness similar to Mickey doing so for her in 0.2, now that she was free of the extra darkness Ansem shoved in her for some fun. It had nothing to do with darkness or sleep.

So we’re talking Toy Story here and his “Not this time” doesn’t add up because if Alpha Timeline is dead and Beta Timeline are a second chance then Xehanort should not have any recollection of the initial timeline/worldline because you still don’t explain why he bothered with following Sora down instead of leaving him to just stay trapped in the Realm of Darkness. There’s no strategic reason to it and Xehanort is a chess master.

“Hey let’s explain shit” Okay first of all the Goofy reference was a way to include the new arc words but without that, the others are all ways to catch up new players so they’d have an idea of what’s going on. There is no in universe reason for it. All of this was excuses for filling in new players. (As for the Unversed: Just because we only see Donald and Goofy at Yen Sid’s Tower does not mean we see what happened to them before they arrived there, jsing. Mickey may have also shown them things. Just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.) Most of the other memory shenanigans are either just springboards for banter or, in Riku’s case, save your energy for the battle against Xehanort ahead.

The Station of Awakening line is pointless since Sora has visited his dive multiple times in the series. As Roxas and as himself in KH2 and KH1 respectively and a final time in 3D when his heart was taken in by Ven’s armor. The Station of Awakening after all, is essentially the stained glass hearts.

Heffalumps stopped only appearing in dreams when they showed up in Winnie the Pooh. Also the promotional material quotes Nomura admitted using because they sounded cool.

Yellow Kingdom Hearts is on KH1′s cover as well. It’s had more appearances. Stands to reason it’s the more official color. Could also be be based on who, what, and how it’s summoned. 

Keyholes: Both Scala Ad Caelum (born from Xehanort’s heart and Kingdom Hearts) and the final Keyhole are forged to deal with sleeping. It makes sense they’d be the same.

YMX’s warnings are referencing exactly what KH3D Sora did. No more complicated theory necessary.

Skipping the Disney world synopsis because I know these worlds far too well at this point for my own Disney sanity.

Pulling symbolism from KH1 when KH2 wasn’t even planned by this point is wrong and also Riku being true love and light reeks very much of that SoRiku bias I mentioned. Okay skipping all this it’s literally just SoRiku and I’m not here for that. I’m here for the theory, not “Why Riku is Sora’s true love.”

“Riku and Kairi both helped Sora hang around” Except Riku dies at this point in the timeline. You can’t make an argument he’s alive because his heart is guided over by the Lich. What’s helping Sora hold on has nothing to do with what it is, otherwise he would just be another shapeless star, like Namine, the Nameless Stars, or the rest. It’s Kairi’s life that gives him the form to come back to life. Saving his heart has nothing to do with it and it just reeks of that same ship bias that was why I skipped the whole section on sacrifice. These 70 pages are irrelevant because all they do is take importance away from Kairi completely in the story, meaning she’s fundamentally useless besides a dark force. Which means Kairi literally doesn’t matter and can be written out of the story.

Kairi’s heart being lost is a full stop. Her heart was released at the end of the game. Saying it’s lost in the Lich sequence makes no sense, especially when she’s the one who guides him back in what is, as noted by PhoenixDowner’s translations, one of the more romantically weighted scenes of the game.

Summary of the more recent pages “SoKai is noncanon and you’re just being mislead it’s actually SoRiku that’s canon” and I’m starting to see where that anon came from...you could’ve saved this theory a hundred pages if you ignored the shipper stuff.

Everything in this ending is literally saying “Kairi doesn’t matter” and “Sora doesn’t care about bringing Kairi back” what the actual fuck?

Okay so I see a lot of talk about Sora and Riku being in the Sleeping Realms (which for the record that secret ending does not tease that but okay) but it still doesn’t explain how the events actually happened. The events of the Sleeping Realms are not the true reality. They’re Beta Timeline but if they never leave the Beta Timeline then the Alpha Timeline is still lost and legitimately none of this matters because at some point they have to leave the Sleeping Worlds, because at the end of the day the Realm of Sleep is still a dream. It still doesn’t happen?

Rage Form is Sora harnessing his darkness.

Rikunort is KH1′s Riku’s heart after he fell to darkness traveling to the awaiting vessel in the future. He’s not Data Riku, and the scene cited from Re:coded is actually a Riku memory held within the Journal’s data, not something happening to Data Riku at all.

In conclusion: I don’t think it’s all a garbage SoRiku fanfiction.

But I think way too much effort went into proving SoRiku was canon.

And also most of the holes I poked in the theory are still pretty valid. 

And now I also know it’s contradicted by several Ultimania interviews whether the original writers acknowledge it or not.

But whatever, it’s not my cup of tea, you guys can still like it.

[distinct-elements-of-speech]

as we go on (1/?)

[read on ao3] [part 2]

(5B canon divergence, featuring: reunions! ladies kicking ass! and my really old theories from 5B spoiler pics because I started writing this back then and lost it until now! Part 2 will be posted soon.]

“Get out of the way!”

Emma barely has time to register the voice before a blur of something (someone?) hits her. They both stumble into an alley, Emma's shoulder hitting the bricks with a painful thud, and she curses under her breath. The faint light from the street lamps fades as they move into the shadows, the stranger gripping Emma's arm.

“What the f-” Emma starts, but a hand covers her mouth immediately, muffling her voice. The alley is narrow enough that there's only a few inches between them, and she can just make out a pair of bright blue eyes in a pale, pretty face.

“Quiet,” the woman hisses. “They'll hear you.”

She raises her eyebrows, staring intently at Emma until she finally nods. Taking her hand away from Emma's face, she quietly pulls a sword from the sheath at her waist, moving to the edge of the alley. Emma peers past her to the street, inhaling sharply as a column of hooded figures marches past.

“They're gone,” the woman says finally, though she doesn't lower her blade. “Come on, quickly, before the next shift.”

Emma follows her out of the alley and onto the abandoned street. “What are those things?”

“A bloody nuisance, is what they are,” the woman mutters. “And dangerous, for people like you.” She turns back to Emma, and out of the shadows there's no mistaking it- there's something about the slant of her chin and the shape of her eyes that's utterly familiar.

“Thanks for the help,” Emma says hesitantly.

“Part of the job,” she says, gesturing down at her outfit. “Sort of.”

“There are crossing guards here?” Emma snorts, staring at the woman's safety vest.

“Really? You’ve somehow ended up in the Underworld, and you’re curious about my job?”

“Well- no,” Emma says, crossing her arms. “What I actually want to right now is who the hell you are.”

“Interesting choice of words.” The woman smirks, and Emma huffs out a reluctant laugh. “But I’m the least of your worries right now. I don't know what someone who's still alive is doing down here, but you need to get back home before Hades finds you.”

“I'm not leaving without what I came for,” Emma shoots back.

The woman quirks an eyebrow. “Must be someone important to you, then.”

“Very,” Emma says softly. “And it's my fault that he's here. I have to fix this.”

“Listen to me carefully.” She slides her sword back into its scabbard, her mouth thinning in a hard line as she studies Emma’s face. “I’ve been here for ages now, okay? In all that time, I’ve seen very few people return to life, and none of them have managed it without an immense sacrifice. It doesn’t matter how you feel about this person- trust me, they aren’t worth it. The price is too high.”

“There’s no price too high,” Emma says. “I know it’s dangerous. I already sent my family back home, but I’m not leaving without him.”

“Fine,” the woman sighs. “Fine. I’m not sure why I bothered saving someone on a suicide mission, but- fine. Don’t try to blame me when you’re trapped here for all eternity.” Shaking her head, she turns to walk back to the crosswalk down the street.

“Hey, wait,” Emma calls, taking a few steps after her. “You never told me your name!”

“Milah,” she tosses over her shoulder, not breaking stride, and Emma feels the ground shift beneath her feet.

“What?” she croaks out, because there's no way, she can't possibly have just stumbled into her.

But her mind is racing now, remembering the notebook full of sketches Killian had shown her on the Jolly, the portraits of a woman with dark curls and laughing eyes and-

“It is you,” she breathes, and god, but she hadn't even considered the fact that Killian's first love might be down here, that she could run into Neal's mother, that she could ever have the chance to talk to this woman who created such tidal waves in her life.

Milah stops her retreat, glancing back at Emma suspiciously. Whirling on the spot, she pulls her sword out again, stepping forward to bring it just under Emma's chin. “You know me. How?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Emma says, raising her hands in surrender and taking a step away from the blade. “I'm not here to hurt you, I didn't even realize you'd-”

“Don't move,” Milah snaps, and Emma halts, shifting her weight between her feet. “Now. Why don't you tell me who you are and how you know me, because I've never forgotten a face and I don't recognize yours.”

“My name is Emma. Emma Swan. And I know you because-” She hesitates, weighing the odds of Milah believing her against the odds of getting stabbed over how utterly ridiculous the story will sound. “It's complicated.”

“I'm waiting,” Milah says, raising her eyebrows.

Emma sucks in a deep breath. “I knew your son, Baelfire. And- and I'm here for Killian Jones.”

Silence stretches between them, heavy in the air. “How?” she says finally, not lowering the sword. “It's been centuries, and you're clearly not from my time. How could you possibly-”

“Like I said, it's complicated.” Emma nods at the blade. “I'll tell you everything, I promise, but- could you maybe put the sword down?”

Milah narrows her eyes, staring at her for a long moment, before she finally replaces the sword in its scabbard. “I'm listening.”

It takes a while- and they have to take cover in the alley twice, even with Emma only telling the bare bones of the story- but Milah doesn’t interrupt her, face inscrutably blank, one hand always at the hilt of her sword. When Emma finishes (her voice catching slightly as she details Killian’s sacrifice, and god, it hurts), Milah stares at her for a long moment.

“You said you have his ring?” she says finally, her face still blank. Emma nods. “Show me.”

Slowly, Emma reaches for the chain around her neck, tugging the ring out from under her sweater and taking a step closer. Milah gently runs a finger over the engraved band, tilting it until the red gemstone catches the light.

“It’s true, then,” Milah says. She looks up, meeting Emma’s gaze for the first time in several long minutes.

“Yes.” Emma can’t keep the longing from her voice. “I have to bring him home.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Milah grins, the wide and vibrant smile that Emma recognizes from the sketches, and loops her arm through Emma’s. “Let’s go find him.”

“Wait, you- you’ll help me?” Emma says, blinking rapidly. “You’re not, I don’t know, angry?”

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” She begins towing Emma along the sidewalk.

“Because I-” Emma hesitates, nearly tripping over the edge of the curb as she stares at the other woman. “Because I’m in love with your, er, lover?”

Milah’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “Why would that make me angry?”

“Because I- because he-” Emma blows out a frustrated breath, nearly jogging to keep up with Milah’s pace. “Look, most of the people I’ve met from your world are a bit- possessive.”

“Right.” Milah nods, pursing her lips as she considers Emma’s words. “Well, you have met my husband, who is still just as possessive as ever.”

“No kidding,” Emma mutters. Milah flashes her a smile.

“But no,” Milah continues, glancing over her shoulder as they turn onto a side street, “I’m not angry. Killian was- is- gifted in many areas, but he’s not good at being alone. If you love him as he deserves- which it seems you do, as you’re down here to claim him- I’m glad of it.”

“Oh.” She lets the words settle over her for a few seconds. “Wow. Thanks?”

“Besides,” Milah continues, unlocking the front door to a slightly-charred house and steering Emma inside, “he’s not good at being alone. He needs something to devote himself to, whether it’s a cause or a person.” She slams the door behind them, shucking off her safety vest. “He does much better if it’s a person. Causes make him dramatic.”

“Everything makes him dramatic,” Emma says under her breath, and Milah laughs.

“That sounds like Killian.” She opens a small coat closet and begins to dig through it, voice slightly muffled. “Which reminds me, does he still do that thing in bed where he-”

“I, uh, wouldn’t know,” Emma cuts her off. Her face heats up as Milah turns to stare at her, and she’s fairly certain that even her ears are turning pink. “We haven’t exactly- I mean, there hasn’t really been a chance- we’ve, um, been-”

“Wait.” Milah’s eyes widen, and the expression reminds Emma so strongly of Killian that all of the air vanishes from her lungs. “You mean you haven’t?”

“It’s not like we aren’t trying to get there,” Emma insists. Milah shakes her head slowly.

“You’re in love with Killian Jones,” she says dramatically, “and you haven’t even experienced what he’s like in bed? What do you do, just look at each other?”

“We’re usually fighting monsters,” Emma mumbles.

“Gods, this is urgent.” She winks at Emma, diving back into the closet. “We need to get both of you home as soon as possible.”

“Thanks,” Emma says dryly. “I appreciate your support.”

“I haven’t seen him in town, so we’ll have to go find him ourselves.” Milah finally steps back into the hallway, several dark cloaks over her arm, and slams the door. “Which means we probably need to go to the Vaults, unfortunately. Here, put this on, you’ll blend in a bit more.”

“The Vaults?” Emma asks, taking the cloak the Milah shoves into her hands. “What exactly are the Vaults?”

“It’s where Hades keeps the important people,” Milah says, the happy look on her face fading, and rolls her eyes. “That’s where he kept Rumpelstiltskin when he came down here.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I was summoned,” she says, a note of disgust creeping into her voice as she pulls on her cloak. “Hades thought that seeing me would make my former husband unhappy, since he’d found love elsewhere. He was right.”

Emma sweeps the cloak around her shoulders, pulling her gun out of her inner pocket and checking the safety. “Do you think you can get back there?”

“It’s not going to be easy, but yes.” Milah leads the way down the hall and into a small, grotty kitchen. The scarred wooden table glitters with an assortment of swords and daggers, all carefully polished to a bright shine. “You’ll need better weapons. That gun won’t be much help if we encounter any Reapers.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Was it made in the mortal world?” she asks. Emma nods, and Milah shrugs. “Won’t work. Only weapons crafted here in the Underworld have any effect on them, and for some reason guns haven’t caught on.”

“Huh. Okay then.” She flips the safety back on, tucking it into an inside pocket, and surveys the blades spread across the table. “Swords it is.”

“Do you know how to use one?” Milah raises an eyebrow. “Do people even use swords in your time?”

Emma lifts one of the swords from the table, twirling it easily in a decent approximation of one of Killian’s showier moves. “Think so.”

“I knew I liked you,” Milah says, adding a pair of daggers to her own collection. “Take whatever you want. The swordsmith’s an old friend, and he gets bored easily- he’s always asking me to take new toys off his hands.”

Emma nods, giving the sword another experimental swing. Eyeing the table, she picks up a leather cuff that looks suspiciously similar to the one they’d used on Zelena. The familiar tingle of magic snakes up her fingers, and she carefully hooks it through one of her belt loops. Finally, she drops an oddly-modern switchblade down the side of her boot.

A bell rings out, low and eerie, echoing through the tiny house.

Milah freezes, tilting her head slightly. “Seven, not too bad,” she says quietly, reaching over to pull the hood of Emma’s cloak over her head. “New additions.”

“Will that change anything?”

She shrugs. “Anything’s possible down here. If they’re going to the Vaults, we’ll have to take the back way in, but at least the main guards will be focused on the fresh meat.”  Tugging up her own hood, she shoots Emma a wink. “Let’s go find our man, shall we?”

[tillie-bean]

EchoDragon Reads: Predictable Pretentious Pokémon Plot. Chapter 2, Part 2

Hi guys, Echo here. I’m back with more Predictable, Pretentious- you know what? I’m not even going to say it. It’s the worst title ever. EVER.

Well, here we are again. It’s always such a pleasure. In this part, Bitchy McF*ckface decides to be even stupider, and even more hateful, and she abuses a canon character, who is so OOC that I’m not sure she’s a canon character anymore. So, let’s dive straight back into this shit fest.

 I looked up at the sky, a herd of Pidove (I am sure this is the wrong way to describe a group of Pidove, and something like a flock is more appropriate but I honestly don’t know so I am just going to use herd) were flying above, towards the woods that surrounded Nuvema Town.

EchoDragon: WHHAAAAATTTTT? The f*ck am I reading?

With the sun falling across the sky pretty soon the skies will no longer be filled with the dumb looking bird Pokemon, and instead will be filled with disgusting, ugly Woobat.

EchoDragon: Why is Bitchy being given a Pokémon? She clearly doesn’t like them. I actually like Woobat, and Pidove.

“Hey Jas, stop looking up and get a move on.”

EchoDragon: I hate this fic.

Josh was a mile ahead of me ad had long since let go of my hand to storm ahead.

EchoDragon: Yeah, I kind of guessed that he’d let go. Unless you have stretchy arms, like Mrs. Incredible.

I have no idea how someone could run so fast for so long, but he was somehow doing it. This stuffy school uniform wasn’t helping me keep up the pace, especially the tie that seemed to strangle me at times. I wanted to reply, but I was panting far too much and was too out of breath for me to speak coherently and for him to hear me anyway.

EchoDragon: What the f*ck? Half of that is completely redundant.

By the time that I finally caught up to him he was standing up in front of Professor Juniper’s laboratory with his arms crossed, and an annoyed look on his face.

EchoDragon: This guy is such a douche bag. Someone think of a good nickname for him. I don’t have enough brain cells left to think of a good one.

“HURRY UP SLOWPOKE!”

EchoDragon: What the f*ck? Why is he yelling? She’s RIGHT THERE. I hate him. Not quite as much as I hate Bitchy, but it’s pretty close. Oh, and you see that comma in the previous sentence? Yeah, maybe we should move it into this sentence. There we go! Perfect!

I bent over with my hands on my knees, panting heavily.

EchoDragon: Gah! Do not want!

I could feel sweat rolling down my face, and I could feel that the back of my shirt was a little moist.

EchoDragon: Jesus, the wording is just making this worse. I said I wasn’t going to review smut, damnit!

I could already tell that I would probably look like a common slob in the eyes of the Professor. But those were the cards I was dealt with, so complaining about my current state won’t do anything.

EchoDragon: S*it! What happened? Where am I? Why did we change tense all of a sudden? Oh, wait. I know. AUTHOR IS S*HIT AT WRITING AND I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! *dies*

Once I was upright and no longer panting I brushed my hand through my hair, and it had predictably gone from neat and straight to untidy and messy.

EchoDragon: Guys, there were so many missing commas in that sentence that my word processor freaked out a bit. Seriously, it made a weird noise and crashed. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

I quickly patted it down, so that I at least looked presentable enough even though I knew deep down that this wouldn’t fix anything.

EchoDragon: This writing. I hate it so much. Everything is filler, and when people speak, author doesn’t even tell us who spoke, or how they said it. Jesus, at least you can identify who’s speaking in Twilight! And I hate that s*it.

“Alright, let’s go… in.”

EchoDragon: *facepalms* See what I mean?

“Finally. You are far too slow”

EchoDragon: Hey, author? Do you know how punctuation works? No? Didn’t think so.

Honestly I think the problem is that he is far too fast. 

EchoDragon: Bitchy. Please. Shut the f*ck up.

We both stood in front of the door, and Josh thrust the door open before he quickly marched in.

EchoDragon: Oh, God. Please stop using words like ‘moist’, and ‘thrusted’. They have overly sexual implications.

I followed him sheepishly, trying to keep the pace with him.

EchoDragon: *weakly* The f*ck am I reading?

As he walked through the very… for lack of a better phrase sciency looking building many people kept trying to grab Josh’s attention, probably to tell him he couldn’t be where he is.

EchoDragon: WHAT? YOU JUST USED THE WORD ‘SCIENCY’. MY COMPUTER DOESN’T EVEN RECOGNISE THIS AS A WORD. IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THE WORD. I HATE THIS FIC! *dies whilst flipping off the fic*

However he refused to hear any of it, and ignored all their attempts to get their attention.

EchoDragon: I’m fed up of this. I’m going to start a new count. Department of redundancy department. Trust me, this fic needs it. So, I’ll start here, and give it 1.

Department of Redundancy Department: 1

Also, what the f*ck? ‘To get THEIR attention’? That’s not just a typo, that’s pure stupidity.

I just followed him, and fortunately none of them tried to hassle me, since I would probably have stopped and listened to them.

EchoDragon: *as Bitchy* Then I would have yelled and stropped until they left me alone! That’s just what I do!

We kept marching through, all the way until we got to the back of the building, right up until we saw a very attractive looking woman sitting at a desk, typing away rapidly like she was doing something important.

EchoDragon: Speaking as a scientist, when I’m working, I don’t want to be disturbed by bratty teenagers. If she’s working, back the f*ck away, you little bitch.

She was obviously so engrossed in what she was doing that she didn’t realize we were approaching her, which was shown by how much she jumped when Josh slammed his hand down onto her desk hard.

EchoDragon: He did what, sorry? Not only was that so rude, I can’t even, but he did it ‘HARD’? I don’t know about you, but I think it sounds stupid in this sentence. Also, it sounds vaguely dirty.

“ALRIGHT, WHERE ARE OUR POKEMON!”

EchoDragon: F*ck you! If you wrote that sentence better, you wouldn’t have to use ALL CAPS.

They aren’t your Pokemon, they aren’t even mine yet technically.

EchoDragon: We already established that you only get ONE of the Pokémon, not all three. You know it’s bad when continuity is lost in the SAME CHAPTER.

Juniper recovered from her shock and frowned at the sight of Josh.

EchoDragon: If it was me, I’d have them kicked out before they could even take a breath.

She looked like she was going to scream blue murder (which is a term I have never understood) which would probably be very uncharacteristic for her frankly pleasant appearance.

EchoDragon: So, let’s see how bad this sentence was, hmm? Well, we have a very long winded sentence, a random author’s note, and stupid, pretentious phrasing. I rate this sentence: GOBSHITE! 

I had never seen the professor before but I quite expected her to look… well ugly given the whole ‘scientist’ thing.

EchoDragon: Oh, F*CK YOU. NO. YOU’RE SAYING THAT SCIENTISTS CANNOT BE PRETTY, IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING? WELL, THAT’S ME F*CKED. I’M A GENETICS STUDENT, AND I DIDN’T GET PERFECT GRADES, SO ACCORDING TO BITCHY, I’M NOT GOING TO GET ANYWHERE IN MY LIFE, AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, AUTHOR. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LIFE WORKS. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK, OR HOW SMART YOU ARE. IF IT WAS, BITCHY WOULDN’T GET ANYWHERE IN HER LIFE. I HATE THIS, AND I HATE YOU. THIS IS THE MOST INSULTING THING I HAVE EVER READ. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. I’M CONSIDERING PUTTING A PICTURE OF MY FACE HERE, JUST TO SHOW THAT WHILE I’M NO SUPERMODEL, I’M NOT COMPLETELY BUTT-UGLY, EITHER. I HATE YOU. I HATE THIS FIC, I HATE MY LIFE, I HATE UNIVERSITY, I HATE POKÉMON AMINO, AND I HATE EVERYTHING! *dies*

I mean her hair looked incredibly practical and weird but apart from that, she was almost as good looking as I am.

EchoDragon: *reads that sentence and remains dead*

Anyway, I digress.

EchoDragon: *lifts her head from her desk* Author just wanted to sound smart, and has no idea what it really means. It doesn’t work here.

Juniper looked like she was about to scream about something until she noticed me standing behind Josh.

EchoDragon: What do you think she was going to scream about? He just f*cking interrupted her in the middle of her work!

Once she did her face seemed to light up, like I was some sort of bringing of good news for her or something.

EchoDragon: I’m trying to think of something different to say, but Jesus tap-dancing Christ, what happened in this sentence? Did author have a stroke and hit the keyboard repeatedly? Or was author completely pissed?

It was almost creepy how much her facial changed at the mere sight of me. Then again for someone of my appearance (and probably soon to be stature) I will have to get used to soliciting that reaction from people.

EchoDragon: Woah, woah, woah. Do you know what you just said? ‘Soliciting’. Do you know what that means? I didn’t think it was used right, so I googled it. And do you know what it means? ‘To approach or accost a person with an offer of sex in return for payment.’ Yeah. Bitchy just called herself a prostitute.

Speaking of, how old is Jasmine supposed to be? I assumed that she was around 15, but she implies that she hasn’t grown her boobs yet. Now, I can’t say anything in that respect (I’ve been waiting 20 years for boobs), but if she’s supposed to be, say, 11, then why is she constantly going on about how pretty she is? It’s creepy!

“Well, you are Jasmine aren’t you?”

EchoDragon: oh, great. Our first canon character is completely OOC. I hate my life.

Her voice was incredibly soothing, like her voice was literally giving you a massage. If I was a guy I would be all over this woman.

EchoDragon: Get your hand out of your pants, author. I’m trying to avoid the way she refuses to let her self-insert be a lesbian, because I really don’t want to get into that. I’ll let you guys rant about that.

“Yes, ma’am.”

EchoDragon: Are we done yet?

“Well I assume you are here for your Pokemon. But you are a bit early for it. Fortunately for you I got them ready yesterday.”

EchoDragon: Wanna know something? Every time I type, I try and insert commas where they should be. Then I get sad.

Well, that’s convenient for Josh at least. I was going to say something before that man in question interrupted me.

EchoDragon: Commas are a fact of life. Tell me, author. Why do you hate life?

“Sweet, now can you give me one?”

EchoDragon: Maybe if you ask NICELY, then she might allow you to have one.

The second he spoke Professor Juniper’s face lost its calm demeanour, and once again she had a look on her face like she had just been insulted.

EchoDragon: *sighs* Professor Juniper doesn’t strike me as a woman with a short temper. She’s a POKÉMON PROFESSOR. She is one of the smartest people in the Pokémon world. She doesn’t seem like a woman who loses it over little things. I mean, she could be like that, but a more logical characterisation of her is that she is a little distracted when it comes to real-life, but when she is working in her lab, or with her Pokémon, she is so focused and happy. She comes across as responsible, intelligent and a really awesome person in general. SO WHAY HAVE YOU TURNED HER INTO A PSYCOPATH?

She looked at Josh, and the glare she gave him could pierce steel. It was horrifying, this professor was scary.

EchoDragon: Yeah, you should be scared. Actually, no, you should be intimidated. She’s one of the smartest people in the region.

“And why would I give someone like you one of my Pokémon?”

EchoDragon: Aww, yeah! Go Juniper! Shut that s*it down!

Her voice now sounded chilling, and sent shivers down your spine.

EchoDragon: hey! Don’t assume her voice sends shivers down MY spine. I don’t care what fetishes you have, I’m not into them, ok?

It was a voice that I would expect murders to have.

EchoDragon: Will you stop describing her as creepy and evil? She’s not. She’s awesome, at least in canon.

This new demeanour had definitely gotten to Josh, and he had backed away.

EchoDragon: WHY DOES IT TAKE THIS LONG TO GET A POKÉMON?

“Eh-I… well, ummmmm…”

EchoDragon: What the f*ck? You could say ‘Josh stuttered’, and it would have worked far better.

He was stumbling and fumbling his words, as he tried to explain why he wanted a Pokemon.

EchoDragon: Why didn’t he just ask for one politely, like normal people would?

His plan that he was so eager to drag me out here for was falling apart all because of a scary looking story.

EchoDragon: That sentence hurt my head. It makes sense, but it looks like it doesn’t. Do you know what I mean?

That’s pathetic, and it was up to me to fix it.

EchoDragon: Nice. You call your only friend ‘pathetic’, and you wonder why people don’t like you?

“Well since you are only giving me one Pokemon out of three, and you only give out one scholarship then you have two spare Pokemon. So, since you will have two spare Pokemon that you will probably give away, it makes sense to give it to someone that I, the deserved winner of your scholarship approve of.”

EchoDragon: Oh, for f*ck’s sake! Is she seriously saying that she has the power to dictate to someone who is older and smarter than her, and is doing her a favour and giving her a Pokémon, which she apparently couldn’t do on her own? Great. I hate this fic, and I really hate Bitchy. Please tell me that Juniper drop kicks her out of the lab.

I explained Josh’s plan concisely,

EchoDragon: and repetitively, because you used the same sentence twice in your little speech.

Making the decision to pretend it was mine.

EchoDragon: so you’re a plagiarist, now? Why am I not surprised.

For some reason I thought that would go over better with this angry, female Pokemon Professor.

EchoDragon: Why did you have to emphasise that she’s a woman? It’s not that unusual to find female scientists, you know. We’re two a penny!

And as luck would have it, it did. Juniper was once again smiling as she looked at me.

EchoDragon: Why is Juniper in love with Bitchy? Then again, why is everyone in love with her? She’s not a nice person.

“Well, I have never done it before but given your ridiculous scores in the tests for this scholarship I think I can bend the rules, but it will be our little secret.”

EchoDragon: Why are you letting this little f*ckwit dictate to you? You’re so important, you’re practically royalty!

Juniper winked at me after she spoke. What the hell does she think I am, a five year old or something? Don’t patronize me you bipolar nerd.

EchoDragon: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER? NOPE. I AM SO DONE. YOU ARE CALLING ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THE UNOVA REGION A BIPOLAR NERD. I AM A NERD, AND I AM OFFENED. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU ARE USING A MENTAL ILLNESS TO INSULT SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HORRIBLE THAT IS? I HATE YOU! I’M IN A RAGE! THIS IS THE MADDEST I’VE EVER BEEN! *begins swinging a cactus around* F*CK THIS S*IT! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!

                    TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.

 EchoDragon: Have you ever been so mad you started swinging a cactus? Word of warning: Don’t do it. It hurts. But she deserved it! Jesus Christ, how rude can you get, I mean- I’m calm. It’s all fine. So, back to the fic?

The professor stood up, and opened one of the draws in her desk before pulling out three pokeballs.

EchoDragon: Yeah, that’s a really bad typo. This is why there’s a thing called proof reading, author.

She walked in front of her desk, and held the balls up in the air.

“Well, you will get to pick one of these three Pokemon.”

EchoDragon: Everyone says ‘well’ when they start speaking, for some reason. It sounds stupid.

Juniper smiled as she dropped all three Pokeballs onto the ground at the same time. Once the balls fell down they seemed to react to the impact, and they all opened.

EchoDragon: because DRAMA!

Once they were opened the three balls released three small and unique Pokemon that all cried out in unison.

EchoDragon: ‘Ahhhh! It’s a Mary Sue! Run for your lives!’

These Pokemon were an orange coloured pig, a blue sea otter sort of thing and a green legged snake.

EchoDragon: What? ‘a blue sea otter sort of thing’? Are you kidding me?

I knew what these Pokemon were, their names are Tepig, Oshawott and Snivy.

EchoDragon: Of course she knows what they are called! She knows EVERYTHING! Bitch.

“I would love to do this more officially but hey, you are the one that came here early.”

EchoDragon: Umm, OOC Juniper? You could make it more official. You call the shots here, not that bimbo.

I stood there, weighing up the pros and cons of each Pokemon. This was an important decision that I would have to make, which would literally affect everything.

EchoDragon: Oh, f*ck you! I’m sorry, but this is going to drag out forever, and then she’ll pick the cutest one, because she could never have a snake or a button-nosed Pokémon!

However, Josh didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation and without thinking rushed over towards the three Pokemon. He was smiling as he picked up the Oshawott and its Pokeball.

EchoDragon: He probably DID think of it, Bitchy. You just didn’t care, and you would mock his choice whatever he chose.

“Alright then, I pick this one. Thank you creepy Professor. I would love to stick around but i have places to go and people to see. Bye bye.”

EchoDragon: WHY DO YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE WOMAN WHO HAS JUST GIVEN YOU A POKÉMON? Oh, right. This isn’t Professor JUNIPER. This is Professor Stupider. Never mind.

He was already rushing towards the door as he finished speaking, which was the norm for him. However Professor Juniper was going red, and once again looked like she was about to kill someone. This lady was so schizophrenic it was worrying. She turned back to me, and her face was now sympathetic looking. How the hell does one person go from extremes so damn quickly?

EchoDragon: *Stands up*

*rages silently*

*flaps hands a bit*

*sits back down*

I… don’t care for that.

“Sorry about that Jasmine. Why do you associate with someone so rude? You were supposed to get to pick first. I thought that rude child would realize that.”

EchoDragon: He’s the only person who will associate with Bitchy. Not the other way round.

“It’s fine, I wasn’t going to pick the Oshawott anyway, by my analysis it is not the strongest of the three.”

EchoDragon: I hope she’s not saying what I think she’s saying…

I wasn’t lying. From my quick analysis of the three I had quickly come to the conclusion that there was one Pokemon that was significantly better than the other two.

EchoDragon: F*ck. She was saying what I thought she was saying. Well, let me tell you something, Bitchy. THAT IS NOT HOW POKÉMON WORK. You cannot just look at a Pokémon, and instantly know if they’re strong. The only way you can really measure the ability of a Pokémon is by actually battling with them. You are a liar, and I hate you.

I smiled, and walked over towards the two pokemon. I knelt in front of the Tepig and picked it up in my hands. Once I picked it up it smiled, obviously aware of what me picking it up meant. I held it in my right hand as I picked up its Pokeball and stood up. I looked over a Juniper.

EchoDragon: I f*cking hate this. I don’t care about any of this. This is so BORING. You hyped this up for two f*cking chapters, and made it seem like the biggest decision she would ever make, yet now she’s saying that she would only choose a strong Pokémon. Twat.

“I pick the Tepig”

EchoDragon: Called it!

Well guys, there we have it. After two chapters, we finally have the tiniest hint that this is a Pokémon fic. I’m really pissed off. The only thing that got me through this was two of my flatmates doing a very dramatic reading of the last scene. So I didn’t suffer alone!

So, I’m sure many of you are wondering: Is Bitchy a Mary Sue? Well, yes. Yes she is, kids. When I took the Mary Sue litmus test, Bitchy gained a grand total of… 110! She is most definitely a Mary Sue.

Thanks for reading, guys! At some point in the past week, I surpassed 200 followers, so I’m going to do a thing ASAP, which might be fun? Keep a lookout for it!

Bye for now, puddings!

 ~Echodragon