#since i am no professional
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Do you have tutorials for drawing hands? I'm impressed (and envious) with how you drew them.
don't treat this as a Tutorial cause i have no idea what i am doing generally speaking but . references? :") you probably noticed how all my hands look equally bony, that is because i look at my own bony hands and use them as references!
oh and don't forget that you don't have to keep palms flat all the time, you can bend the shape ! and don't forget that palms are soft and squishy, they make folds when you make a fist for example.
#i understand that all my advice boils down to “just look at yourself” but#that's what i usually do. if i have any problems. i just take a photo or ask someone to photograph themselves#there are actual tutorials talking about breaking hands into simpler shapes etc etc but i don't think i can explain that#since i am no professional#id in alt
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rings dinner bell FOOD IS SERVED
originally i was gonna post his ref with Painter's but i can actively feel myself getting lazy and i just want to get this out into the world :,3 BEHOLD SURFACE SEB in all his angsty glory
this ended up looking more like brain vomit than i intended but OH WELL i'm not touching it anymore ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
#the ring belongs to painter btw tehe#also in his sitting pose his hair is tied up which i feel i should mention since it's kinda hard to tell whats happening there#this is so official and professional as you can see#roblox pressure#pressure roblox#pressure surface au#sebastian solace#sebastian pressure#human sebastian#pressure fanart#spicy art#gills or top scars it's up to you to decide muhaha#PAINTERS IS IN THE WORKS#sebpainter#i am so normal about this guy#so so normal
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(loosely) that scene from potc... its so Them i think...
#apologies for the low quality scribbles i simply couldn't be fucked!! <3<3<3#and they're a lil funky.... i havent drawn em in a while....#but geez. man. oof. ough#the potential of the pining + Names ouagshashjafkanvfla#THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE#scribble salad#franklydear#welcome home#ever since finding out how they call each other by last names my brain has been Mush over that#the layers!!! the potential for development!!!#what would the transition to first-name-usage look like#i feel like they're gonna be on first name basis Before they actually refer to each other by their first names#and maybe frank will call him eddie first.... maybe....#leaving eddie to be the one maintaining a sort of 'professional' distance#but in the process making their interactions Way more intimate and emotionally Charged than they would've been otherwise#its about the suspense... about the 'am i allowed to know what your name feels like'....#the 'i want nothing more than to know what my name sounds like in your voice'#receiving your mail and waiting for the time he finally allows that little distance to be closed with one simple syllable#or delivering the mail and waiting for him to open both doors w/ hand & name#both an allowance and a confirmation and an answer and a promise wrapped up in one little word#Im Just Speculating & Rambling at this point#OUGH FRANKLYDEAR <3<3<3<3#i cant wait to watch them really go Through the Horrors while falling in love#bc when nothing is real or certain what else can you cling to but each other#so abnormal about them....#wh has opened my eyes to the inherent romanticism & pain of mail carriers#they will always come to your door but they will also always leave#and the gifts they give you are always from someone Else#all you can hope for are those Moments where your fingers brush as they hand over letters#where the only true words between you are the ones hidden away in ink and belonging to neither of you
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Inktober Day 25 - Alpha Gaming
Today I thought I'd go ahead and hunt down that new hedgehog game everyone’s so excited about, since I had a target giftcard and it's been a hot sec since I played one of these - was fully planning to hop on that cool winged shadow trend for the inktober to commemorate my success, but that changed 15 seconds into the first stage when I remembered I actually suck shit at sonic games 👍
#inktober#inktober2024#my art#doodles#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#my experience can best be summarized by the first 30 seconds of playing the game#where I used chaos control for the first time and Immediately shot off the side of the stage and died#I have despite all odds gotten past the first boss#but I am well acquainted by this point with the entirety of kirk thorton's professional dying discography#shadow I think you're very cool and I'm very sorry that I'm going to make you look like an Utter fool for the entire run of the game#in fairness his stages seem way easier than the single sonic one I tried hA#i just can't fucking see where sonic is half the time in the 2d sections#maybe I need to get my eyes checked or something idk#the hogs are just moving too fast for me smh#it is nice to play one of these again though it has been a While#for reference the one and only other sonic game I played was unleashed lol#back in uhhhh#2008????#god#well glad to know my gaming hasn't improved much since then lmao
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the onion bought infowars. I repeat, the onion bought infowars
#lauren says things#the onion#infowars#i am experiencing a feeling not unlike a nov 5 feeling#except for people who have been terminally online in a very particular way#I've been obsessed with mis/disinformation since 2016#and one of my most beloved journalists ben collins#did truly incredible reporting on all the stuff that's been happening since then in the far right and elsewhere#and then a few years ago he was like#'I have to stop reporting on this stuff byeeeeee'#and quit being a journalist#and then he BOUGHT THE ONION#which is perhaps the best thing to do after sitting in the dregs of the internet for years#and now a former professional alex jones hater#owns all his shit#and is going to partner with everytown to do satire and raise awareness about gun violence#with the full support of the sandy hook parents#who he knows from his days reporting on one of the worst things to ever happen#also bluesky is down and that doesn't feel like a coincidence I think the onion broke it with this news#(or it is just a coincidence)#but anyway ben collins is my most parasocial relationship#he is literally just Some Guy I've been following on the internet for years#but this is like....the best possible outcome to all of these stories#anyway that's my niche good news for the day
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’)
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no one’s nearby: 😐 he’s in the walls 😨 he’s in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why he’s in that particular spot in the wall bc there’s isn’t a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Tim’s like ‘your eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE times’#then he gestures at Jason ‘and that one looks like if he didn’t have drug related childhood trauma he’d try to snort protein powder’#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies 🤨 I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason there’s an ‘acceptable levels of force’ slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and he’s like no that’s just the first page of plan 1 if it’s sunny#Rogues: I can’t catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ‘never let em know your next move’ Drake who’s been sleep for the past 45 minutes: 🔵➖🔵#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc ‘there are children in the walls’#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever 😔 I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but it’s sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe it’s time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: that’s what I thought#Bruce: you’re benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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book of bill comes out and now everyone wants my man stanford filbrick pines.....
#the light of my universe...#THE SUN IN MY SKY...#7+ pages of fanfiction about him btw.. heh.. call me a professional....#book of bill#stanford pines#ford pines#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...#i am aroace and i headcannon him as aroace too#we are aroace together and we hug and smooch sometimes hehehegayegsraregrhshdg#HES SO CUTIE#wanted him since 2015 when i first watched gravity falls (i was like 5)#gravity falls#HES SO CUTIE PIE#the book of bill
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maybe it's lust cat noir! can't you just let a girl have her kink?!
#miraculous ladybug#mlb#mlb caps#marichat#i'm behind on the show and hadn't really engaged on a full fandom level yet#but from what little i'd seen i didn't get why there were distinctions between the ships when they're all the same people#but now i've seen this ep and ummmmmmm i get it now lol#it was easier for her to access her love for cat noir when adrienette started to get too real bc cat noir is like a fantasy#even though they are also partners lol#it just makes sense#and also it's just ummm hot lol#*disappears into the floor bc i am like mari and hate talking about these things*#ok i'm not done ranting about this and this is why i'm making this sideblog lol#it's also very sweet that he finally loves/chooses mari over ladybug or thinks he does#the normal girl with a normal life#and is trying to be chill and professional with cool and capable superhero ladybug lolol#AND ok finally last thought#in general i appreciated that he worried so much over the ethics of it all#bc it is pretty unfair#and an uneven power dynamic seemingly from his perspective since he doesn't know she's ladybug too#but also that's what makes it so intriguing............#i've been living under a rock but#i feel like this isn't really explored in other superhero stories i've seen#and applies to general celebrity fan relationships too#I'LL STOP NOW#/rant#elation
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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Catching up on all of your art and, holy shit, you are genuinely beocming one of my inspirations for my own art. Like, up there with professionals in the industry.
Keep up the good work, Spectre! You're going places!
The fact that I see this when I'm at an all-time low of feeling talentless with my art;;;; tysm omg ueeuueueueueueueueuweue,,,,,,,,
#thank you so much for the ask;;;#I.... I feel so honored#I actually felt really low today like it feels like I'm just churning out shit-tier art#and to be compared to professionals;;; when that's my literal life goal.....#it just rocks me heart and feels#I worked so hard to get where I am today#constantly trying to evolve my drawing style since day one and become better than I was yesterday#so that I could be a professional indie artist someday#thank you. thank you so much#I feel a bit more reassured about my art now#ziku's insane rambles
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Random thought but I miss Patrick winking at Eliza (3x3) and generally being mischievous (all of season 2 and episode 3x6 with William.)
He’s way more professional with her in season 4, for obvious reasons. He’s still fun, and they have fun, but it’s different, which is a testament to how respectful Nash is, contrary to how he’s sometimes talked about by viewers who are simply not paying attention. Also, I don’t think it’s JUST that she’s his employee. I think he caught feelings and is trying to recalibrate how to act with her (less schoolyard teasing and even more sincerity).
In Season 4, Eliza softens and teases Nash more than he teases her (after she wins at the races, the end of the telephone episode). He lets her lead, really, in that regard, because he's not going to cross a line given the power dynamic in their relationship when she works at Nash & Sons.
So we've seen rivals (season 2 with the shift in 3x3) to friends and colleagues (3x6 and Season 4) and now LOVERS (Season 5) ????
I really wonder what Season 5 Nash will be like.
Edit: to add: the natural chemistry and attraction that’s been there didn’t lead to romance yet because they’ve had really clear boundaries: being rivals AND then being colleagues meant really clear lines they didn’t or couldn’t cross- even if they toed them sometimes. There were rules of engagement. Those boundaries will be gone session 5- so their friendship can flourish into something else.
#scarnash#eliza x patrick#msatd#miss scarlet pbs#miss scarlet and the duke#i love them your honor#ps did I just figure out how to make basic gifs??#not as good as our wonderful gif makers#but I can try#season 3 Nash you will always be famous#since the new inspector won’t work with any private detectives I hope Nash trolls him too#also you know I am so interested in the angst of the situation where Patrick hires her and it creates a barrier to romance#like he had to have some disappointment with that but he did what was best for Eliza and her career#what will they be like when they don't work together AND are friends???#patrick nash consummate professional#sorry I’m posting this instead of writing more of Sweetest Con yikes#let me know what you think
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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That old guy who evaluated me for autism really should have asked me about percabeth, he would have gotten to his answer much quicker
#like I am thinking about those bitches constantly#i’m exhausted#I need to think about anything pls#I swear to god I haven’t stopped thinking about them since 5th grade#percy jackson#pjo#percabeth#annabeth chase#actually autistic#it was like a professional evaluation tho#the wording makes it seem like it was just some guy
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incoming: another fucking voltron rant because i watched a langst edit and now i wanna cry😭😭
they did not take time. they did not slow that show down for a little bit. especially for lance. cause he did not getting a fucking moment to find himself again after he FUCKING DIED. we saw him homesick, we saw him missing his family, we saw him insecure about his position on the team, we saw him insecure about himself, but we never actually saw him go anywhere else but being sad. he really did get barely any character development.
and tbh i feel like in a way just all the characters didnt have a moment to slow down. and i know, i know, its a kids show, its about fucking robots for fucks sake, theyre in the middle of a war. which, yeah. youre right. but there couldve been so much more, for him, for all of them. what about them? as people, with feelings. where are there emotions. why is it only sadness and happiness and not the enitre confusing spectrum of emotion between. does pidge not feel lost after she finds her brother? yeah, hes back, but i bet she didnt imagine she would be fighting an intergalactic war, and now matt is too. she imagined family dinner, brother barging into her room, dad making corny jokes, house happier and full of life.
hunks family was put in a fucking work camp. he had seen this across the galaxy, zarkons army imprisoning people, making them work, killing them. did he imagine that for earth ? did he imagine that for his family? how the fuck did he cope fighting a war, anxious as he is? how did he cope at all?
shiro isnt even in his fucking original body. thats fucking weird. im not saying that in a rude way bc like yeah, organ transplants are a thing irl, and a major life saving thing they are ! but like, how odd it must be to have someone elses kidney or heart in your body. nevermind to have your entire soul and conciousness put into another body, you but not really you.
keiths life,,, dude probably just doesnt even give anything a second fucking thought anymore. but like, could they not have shown him showing some more emotion. fair enough if he doesnt always cry in the moment but rather late on, but you'd think seeing allura die, they wouldve at least put some tears in his eyes. he had fucking no one before he had voltron. only shiro, and even then he was alone for so long when shiro had been on his mission. you cant tell me he didnt want to think of voltron as his family. they bonded :(
and lance, gosh lance. i feel like, if we looks at this as it is, lance would be the character that people think back on and go "oh yeah, he helped me accept my emotions, he helped me become the best version of me and gain confidence in who i am". in the fandom hes seen as someone with big emotions that he wears on his sleeve, but also someone who will put everyone else and their needs before himself.
he's a story of self-sacrifice, quite literally. he's the story of sincere love, of casual admiration. he's the story of the most wonderful friend, of loyalty, of no, I'll step down because there's a cause bigger than me, and im not the one for the job when there's people like my friends and you on the team.
and no one wanted to explore that? no one wanted to see him do more than just, what? flirt and literally die and fall in love and barely find his place on team voltron? that was it for him. it shouldn't have been, but it was.
#just... im no professional qriter but like#there couldve been more humanity to it yknow#to all of their emotions but most importantly lance who was brushed off time and time again#he was destined for greatness#hes so much more than what he shows people but the people just cant be bothered to look past the mask#:(#vld lance#lance mcclain#voltron#vld#mullettaegi#long post#i may be talking no sense but yall will be seeing it cause i cant be keeping this shit in my brain itll eat me up#i care about this show far too much and am not gonna hide anymore it means so much to me :(#and theres so so much more that im forgetting bc its been a while since i watched the show#so alls i can say is lance deserved better he deserved more he couldve been such a character!!#but ik there is so much more to it and i have more to say about his death but i just dont have the words
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back on my bullshit: looking through and making edits to my doc full of Issues I Have That Haven't Ever Been Looked Into for the doctor. which may prove to be futile but i will not think to bring any of this up + will absolutely try and downplay it if i do not do this.
i still keep joking that i will hand them the papers and go "pick one and we can start there" as well as threatening to walk out if they so much as breathe the word "asthma" to me. hopefully i can actually do these things at the appointment.
and i know. i know that doctors hate it when you present possible diagnoses and that you should let them do it themselves but like. you don't understand. i have had 22 years of not having anything done when i had a health concern, to the point where i stopped even realizing that things were concerning until someone else pointed out to me that it may be a problem.
so im coming armed and prepared and if the doctor refuses to work with me like im an actual person, then i will leave and i will ask for a different doctor. rinse and repeat until i find someone who will actually help me.
#ik this is probably not the best way to do this i do i get that#but for my own sanity and the sake of actually getting things down as they ARE not as i fake#bc i am too anxious about seeming needy or useless or desperate for attention or whatever#then yeah. the doctor is getting my 8 page document of issues i have noticed i have#that have never actually been looked into by a medical professional bc military hospitals fucking suck ass#and i didn't have a choice before#(and then when i did i had too much anxiety to actually DO anything about it until now)#ough.#wish me luck for this appointment guys.#it's not for another 2 weeks or so but still#it's also a new patient appointment which. i assume means looking at current state and family history#more than any of this#but im bringing the doc anyway so they have an idea of whats going on#and again so they can choose a starting point.#breathing issues/gi issues/headaches/tinnitus/allergies#or any of the various mental health issues tho i figure those will be outsourced to someone else#since this is just general medicine lmao#but anyway. pick one and when we get somewhere with that we can do smth else#or if we get nowhere with that. whichever.#shh ac
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