#since college so for like 6 or 7 years now? and it has held up great. no leaking issues and god i love not spending money on tampons anymore

[snowshinobi]

anotha pouch. made this one to hold my Lily Cup bc the hinge on its original plastic case snapped years ago. tutorial used!!

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 3

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - completed

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. Galavano by @ichorai

Bucky x Reader

a series that follows the hero galvano through the events of the mcu!

2. Time (D)rift by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

Dark!Bucky x Reader Apocalypse AU

The end has come and gone as you keep waiting for your own.

3. Uncontrollable by @fictional-affairs

Bucky x Widow!Reader

The year is 1992. The Winter Soldier is under HYDRA’s control, and the Red Widow is under Dreykov’s control, but when they find out their organizations are working together to have them kill each other, they decide to make a deal.

4. The Lake House by @rustytricycle

Dark!Bucky x Dark!Reader

You decide to spend the summer before Freshman year of college with two of your girlfriends at one of their parents’ lake house. It turns out that Captain America and his two best friends are staying next door. Bucky thinks you might be his perfect girl. But are you too perfect?

5. turn a blind eye by @sergeantxrogers

Bucky x Reader

The Winter Soldier was cold. Brutal. Unflinching. A machine formulated to comply. Bucky Barnes was the sun warming your skin, your happy pill. Loving him was like bittersweet liquor, sickeningly sweet when you sip, harsh and burning when you swallow.

6. Rooftop Sessions by @forever-rogue

Bucky x Therapist!Reader

Y/N is a therapist that works with war veterans that ends up meeting a mysterious stranger who asks for her help.

7. it’s all fun and games, until you catch feelings by @prettyyoungtragedy

Bucky x Reader

You’re pining after Steve and Bucky is pining after Nat, what better way to distract yourself from those two perfect humans than to distract yourselves with each other?! Fuck buddies it is then.

8. oh my delightful heart by @prettyyoungtragedy

Sequel to it’s all fun and games

Bucky Barnes is the sweetest dumbest most adoring boyfriend any girl could ever ask for... 

9. Follow My Lead by @ciarawritesmarvel ✨

Bucky x Reader

You and your new friend Wanda are enjoying a day together at the Avengers Tower, her giving you a tour around the place when you both run into the infamous Bucky Barnes. Moments later, he’s introducing you to Sam as his girlfriend and placing a kiss on your temple and you’re not sure you’ve ever been so confused in your life.

10. The Maid of Mr. Barnes by @disasterofastory

Mob!Bucky x Reader

You get a job as Mr. Barnes's maid. You heard about the notorious gangster, but since you desperately need money and a place to live, you are not in a position to be picky.

11. Guiding Light by @wkemeup ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Get the intel and go home. Until everything goes wrong and you’re taken captive by Hydra. While you struggle to stay alive and hold your sanity, Bucky begins to lose himself to a darkness and gives into the soldier because he doesn’t know how to breathe without you. Not until he brings you home. If he even can.

12. Home | Better by @softlyspector ✨

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Bucky comes home from his second tour overseas, after a long time away from the reader.

13. Mad For You by @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Nat hosts a costume masquerade. Bucky meets the Alice to his Hatter. Shenanigans ensue. 

14. Sanguis Sanguinis Mei by @captainscanadian

Vampire!Bucky x Vampire!Reader

It took Bucky Barnes two centuries with the blood of his blood to realize how much he loved her. This is their story. 

15. Another World by @sinner-as-saint

Alien!Bucky x Reader

In a futuristic world - a millennium from now, you and your team rescue and care for stranded and hurt otherworldly beings; who are held captive and kept on Earth against their wills. You save them from the bad guys who exploit them. You help them adjust to your planet’s life, and give them their freedom back. Then one day, while on a rescue mission, you come across a human-like extraterrestrial being; in a cryogenic chamber, with a missing arm. And nothing is ever the same again…

16. Picking Up The Pieces by @gogolucky13

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not.

17. Knight In Rusty Armor by @revengingbarnes ✨

Knight!Alpha!Bucky x Queen!Omega!Reader

For the sake of politics and to get rid of you, their omega daughter, the King and Queen of England marry you off to the King of France. Settling into an unfamiliar monarchy is a tedious process all by itself, but a new problem arises soon after your arrival at your new home. One of the Knights turns out to be your true mate. Your Alpha. The one you are meant to be with. But you’re mated to someone else. And that someone else is the King of France.

18. The Escaped Bride by @marvelouslytrekking

Pirate!Bucky x Reader

Being forced to marry someone was not something you wanted, but when it turns out that it is to your best friend, who you secretly loved, things weren’t so bad. Unfortunately, good things don’t seem to last and when the worst happens, you refuse to sit around and be miserable. Will you find true love again, or will your life be turned upside down?

19. Plot Twist by @winterarmyy

Mafia!Bucky x Reader

An arranged marriage with mafia!bucky.

20. The Road Goes Ever On and On by @rocketrhap3000 ✨

Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

Life as a single mother of a three year old certainly has its struggles. But when a sweet stranger makes his way into you and your little boy’s life, a one of a kind connection sparks.

21. you’re my desire by @marvelouslizzie & @notafunkiller

40s!Bucky x Reader

Your best friend drags you out on a double date. You were supposed to be Steve Rogers’ date but plans change pretty quickly and you end up in Bucky Barnes’ arms.

22. Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky ✨

God Of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader

For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand why they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they loved other mortals when they knew that none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live.

23. Lost In Each Other by @majestyeverlasting ✨

Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

For Bucky, one of the best things to come home to is family. Especially after a day at work. So he's pleasantly surprised when you want to show him a new dress after dinner one night. And it just so happens that little Eden and Jamie find a way to work themselves into the equation. But it all makes for good fun and memories you will never forget.

24. Fight For Me by @littleseasiren

Bucky x Reader

After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Battered Women's Home, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

25. call me baby by @cherryrogers ✨

Biker!Bucky x Reader

Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker, and when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either — that was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.

26. Static Verse by @theconstantsidekick ✨

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

Tony Stark's sister's a fucking badass, codename—Static. Here's her story through the MCU.

27. Bygone by @borntobewondering

Bucky x Reader

You and Peter get sent back in time, and you fall in love with someone unexpected.

28. Clockwork by @aries-writingblog ✨

Bucky x Reader

Bucky has moved on. He’s found a place in the new world of the 21st Century. Found peace. But the past is always half a step behind him, waiting to snatch him backwards- like clockwork.

29. Deny the truth, set the world on fire by @lizatill

Bucky x Reader, Dark!Winter Soldier x Reader

He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember.

30. Carnations by @viollettes

Bucky x Reader College AU

It’s a simple concept: Students can buy flowers for each other at the carnation sale. Red flowers are for love, pink flowers are for friendship, and white flowers are for expressing secret admiration. A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

[bluebayousblog]

RUMOR HAS IT (pt. 7)

(Drew Starkey one-shot)

This is not a full on story but if you want more l'll be happy to add on upon request

Plot: in which drew and isobel address a false rumor in the most abstract of ways

Setting: dinner with the cooper’s and starkey’s

Disclaimer: Isobel is an OC, 18+

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

PART 6

The holidays’ with the Cooper and Starkey family were filled with a multitude of dinners, business events, and surprises that did not seem to dim as the years have passed by. Since Isobel and Drew left for college they made it a tradition to host a dinner in honor of their return from fall semester of school. Each year they alternated hosts, and since Drew’s family hosted last year they were having dinner at Isobel��s.

She loved coming home for the holiday’s and spending time with her parents. Being so far away gave her a lot of opportunity to miss them, and most of the time when her mother, Lora, came up stairs to question her until she worked her way up to asking about a possible boyfriend she didn’t mind, but this year was different and the reason was because of the boy who was downstairs hopefully keeping his cool around their fathers.

“Isobel, I just refuse to believe no man has tried to get your attention at University.” Her mom exasperated, her hands waving in the air with so much sass. She was so animated, something Isobel always found endearing about her. She also has inherited this dramatic characteristic, but it came out most when she was around her, when she was the most comfortable to truly be herself.

She hated how it was inevitable that she was going to have to lie to her mother over the course of the break. Sure, she didn’t have to share all of her personal business with her, but it didn’t make her feel any less guilt for pretending like she wasn’t involved with her father’s business partner’s son. The relationship they had with the Starkey family added a layer of complexity to the entire situation, and only added to her anxiety about the truth coming out.

“I’m not gonna settle for what that school has to offer, Mom.“ Isobel responded. Apart from her dwindling interest in dating since her last relationship, she’d always lived by this sentiment ever since being exposed to what her college had to offer. There were cute guys of course, but none she would enter into a serious relationship with.

Drew did not fall into that category of men that attended her university for a multitude of reasons. She’d known him going on ten years now, he was the son of a very successful man that happened to be in business with her father, and above all else he was a friend—something she was realizing meant much more to her then it did a few weeks ago.

It was an effort to meet her mother’s gaze, but when she did it her eyes were filled with what seemed to be pride. When tears slithered onto her water line she knew her mother was about to start gushing and getting all sentimental as she did every time they were apart, ��I just don’t know how I got so lucky to have such a resilient woman as my daughter.”

Isobel’s heart squeezed, her mother always had the ability to appreciate the things about her that truly mattered. She still complimented her beauty more than anyone she knew, but from a young age before she matured physically, she always felt special with what she had to offer internally because of her.

“Mom, I’m the lucky one.” She wrapped her arms around her in a gentle hug, Isobel knew her mom would be the most understanding when it came to finding out about Drew, even if their relationship never progressed past what it was currently, but she also knew it would hurt her to know Isobel felt she couldn’t confide in her. She’d always known Isobel had trouble expressing her feelings, and because of that she never pressured her into it��but still when Lora found out she’d waited weeks to tell anyone she was being cheated on, she held her in her arms so long it made it up for all the time Isobel had spent hurting in silence, “I promise you will be the first to know when there’s another guy.”

Drew had always been in her life, and though he seemed to now view her as more than a friend, that’s all it was at the moment. Lust and pure infatuation. Neither one of them had expressed wanting more, and to Isobel a few hookups was not worth spilling the beans to her family or friends—especially with his past. She’d already been the girl who was blindly cheated on, and she did not want to be viewed as just another one of Drew’s conquests. She knew she wouldn’t be able to take the pity this time because she knows what she is getting herself into and how it could potentially end—and to Isobel that was far worse.

“You only tell me when you’re ready.” Her mother stated, sighing before standing to walk into her closet to fetch the dresses she purchased for her to wear to different occasions over break. Isobel knew she was spoiled, but her mother took pride in refreshing her closet when she was away, and if she objected she would only be ignored, “Okay, my darling girl black satin or white satin with pearls.”

The emphasis on the last option told her which dress her mother was leaning towards, “Mom, I’m twenty-two I can dress myself.”

“I know you can, but let me have my fun during the holidays, this was my favorite thing to do when you were a little girl.” She gave Isobel the the widest smile, one that she passed down to her, raising the white dress up higher in the air now completely revealing her preference of the two choices.

Isobel playfully rolled her eyes with a sigh before taking the hangers from her hands and slipping in the bathroom to get ready.

Drew’s parents and brother were on the way when he went into one of the guest rooms of what had practically been his second home for the last decade. He packed a suit so he could just get ready and save the hassle of driving to his house and back.

Clad in a casual dinner attire, black slacks and a green button up with no tie, he stepped out of the room he’d spent so many nights in. As soon as the door latched shut his father’s voice could be heard from the formal den where they always had cocktails before dinner, “…everything is set up for him, let’s just hope he doesn’t go back on his word in the next five months.”

He knew his father was talking about him and the job offer that had been waiting for Drew ever since he walked across that stage at his high school graduation. He’d been allowed a grace period before he accepted his fate, in which he tried to find different passions in college but nothing ever stuck—everything led back to Cooper & Starkey Inc. Charles Starkey didn’t like Drew’s hesitation in joining the family business, he’d always made that known, especially in the last four years, and when he wasn’t verbalizing it you could see the disapproval set deep in his eyes. He still had a great relationship with his father, but he hated how the topic of Drew’s future could so easily damper their bond.

“Well isn’t it the man of the hour, Drew.” Richard Cooper’s deep voice barreled through the room, a smile spread across his lips that reminded him of the girl that had been clawing at his mind for the past few weeks.

Drew greeted him with a handshake, to which the massive man yanked his arm and pulled him into a hug. They patted each other on the back as men tended to do, and Drew once again found himself wondering how Richard found himself in finance when he looked like a competing body builder. He’d always reminded him of Mr. Bubbles from Lilo & Stitch, it was his first impression of him that first day he came over to meet with his father to start their company. He always appreciated that Richard never pressured him into making a decision about the job offer, though he wasn’t his father, they were so close that his opinion did mean something. And those days when Charles was coming down on him about procrastinating, Richard simply telling Drew to take his time meant more than he knew.

“How are you, Cooper?” Drew smiled as they pulled away and sighed in amusement when he began dramatically inspecting him for anything out of place as he always did. Richard always thought that Mr. Cooper was too formal for how much time their families spent with each other, so they settled on Drew just calling him Cooper years ago. His eye twitched at the idea of him somehow picking up that he’d been messing around with his daughter just from the simple once over.

“I trust you got Isobel home without any issues.” His father interjected completely killing the moment—just as he was serious about the company he had the same attitude toward’s Richard’s daughter, especially if Drew had anything to do with her. He swiftly stood up from the sofa and walking over towards them with his younger brother Chandler following behind. Charles also looked extremely well for his age, not as built as Cooper but still youthful nonetheless.

Chandler’s eyes brightened at the mentioning of Isobel and it took all of Drew’s restraint not to visibly show his annoyance at how pathetic his little brother’s crush on her was. It started two years ago when he turned sixteen, they were all home for the summer in the back by the family pool when Isobel showed up in a little black bikini that would push him over the edge if he ever saw her in it now. But it was his little brother who’d taken a long, thorough look at Isobel and hadn’t been the same since. Everytime she was around Chandler’s face turned entirely red while his mouth was hindered useless in her presence.

Everyone found his little crush endearing and harmless, she was obviously older so nothing would ever come out of it—and it definitely was not reciprocated on her end. The entire family teased Chandler about it, but now that he was maturing and graduating high school this year Drew hoped his infatuation for her would die down a bit. He found it pathetic to be in a situation where he was jealous of his little brother crushing on the girl he was hooking up with, though the fact that he saw Isobel in a romantic aspect before he ever did was at the very forefront of his mind.

Drew had gotten to her first in a physical way, but actually noticing her for all she was and the little things that really mattered—he’d came up short—and that made him feel like the biggest fool.

“Relax, Charles, she’s upstairs in her room with Lora getting ready.” Cooper cracked a smile at how unnecessarily serious Drew’s father could get. His father just shrugged his shoulder’s as if he were saying ‘can you blame me for asking?’

The boy ignored his old man, taking a sip of his whiskey to simmer the annoyance rumbling in his chest, he knew he could be unreliable, but if there was a thing they could trust him with it was Isobel. “How’s it going, kid?” Drew asked Chandler, who always seemed to be on their dad’s good side.

“Everything’s good, it’ll be even better soon.” He gave Drew a lopsided grin, his eyes stuck on the entrance to the den, obviously anticipating someone’s arrival.

Cooper and his father had broken off into their own conversation near the bar, so Drew decided to mess with Chandler a little before everyone came down, “You know you’re eighteen now, don’t you think it’s about time you stop obsessing over the girl?”

“I actually think the opposite, that just means I’m now man enough to handle a woman that fine.” Chandler finally settled his sole attention on Drew, most likely just interested in the subject of the conversation, “You do know she is a woman right, Drew?”

He knew Chandler wasn’t referring to Isobel’s age, but his obvious blindness towards her. All the time they’d all spent together, and Drew had never shown any attraction towards her. It had never been a thought between the families, no encouragement for the two to date—if anything his father subliminally insisted on the exact opposite.

He was always content with their lack of interest in their relationship, especially with going to a prestigious high school where teenagers were being coerced into modern day arranged relationships like it was a sport. Now thinking back it would’ve felt nice if their family felt he was suited to to take care of Isobel, because the way his head was turning now it would be his absolute honor. Though, he couldn’t blame them for never seeing the stability in a potential relationship between Drew and Isobel. Not once had he shown them an instance where he could be man enough to be a good boyfriend to a woman, let alone to their precious gem. They didn’t deem him worthy of possessing such treasure, as he wasn’t sure he was either.

He’d shown he could protect Isobel but not love her the way she deserved to be loved.

“That girl is so gorgeous, Richard, you and Lora created an angel.” His mother’s velvety voice flowed into the room before he could respond to his brother whose attention was now back on the entrance where Lora and his mom, Catherine stood, “Drew, baby, come give your mommy a hug my little bear.”

Drew immediately walked over despite his head hanging low, ears burning in embarrassment at the nickname she insisted using at all times. He loved her regardless of the various endearments because where his father put fear of him being a disappointment she always made up for, “I missed you Mom.”

The way that his mom loved him made him feel like he was capable of spreading that same feeling to someone else, because if he could love his mom that much he could definitely love another woman just as effortlessly. When they finally pulled apart she grabbed his face in admiration before quickly falling back into conversation with Lora about whatever they’d been doing upstairs with Isobel.

“Get all your compliments out about Isobel before she comes down, you know she hates being the center of attention.” Lora softly smiled, they were both extremely reserved at times, and for a split second Drew saw an uncanny glimpse of Isobel in her. Of course they’d always reminded him of each other but now seeing the similarities left more of meaningful impression.

“I find that extremely ironic seeing as she’s always the last person to be ready.” Cooper’s humor pulled a laugh out of everyone in the room as it always did.

He could put a smile on everyone’s face even when it wasn’t his intent, it made him all the more likable to more than just their family, and Drew wondered if a man like Cooper would approve of him being with his daughter.

“Let’s have another drink before the princess gets her hand’s on the champagne.” Even her parents knew about her tendency to be a lightweight. Isobel had accidentally over served herself, and by over served that just meant having two glasses of champagne one night at a business event their father’s hosted after she turned twenty one. Drew tried to keep her intoxicated state under wraps, but when she got up to go to the restroom and knocked over the welcome sign it was no use. No one took it too seriously if anything it made the night that much more enjoyable, that’s what he enjoyed about his family when they were surrounded by the Cooper’s, everything felt so much lighter.

It was similar to how he felt these past three weeks with Isobel, and it was nothing like he felt before.

“What are you all laughing about?” Isobel suddenly graced the room with effortless strides.

She was wearing a silky black dress that adorned her body in a way that made Drew’s stomach twist in a knot and heart squeeze in his chest. He knew from the sight of the bronze gleam on her naked shoulders that she smelled divine and his nose itched to smell her intoxicating scent. Her hair was pulled from her face, falling behind her back with the tips most likely grazing the top of her backside. He’d noticed that about her the other night at his party, how her hair swayed just above her ass in a tempting gesture as she walked away from him to leave the house and take the girls to the bar.

“Nothing to worry your head about my girl.” Cooper answered as he stared at her with evident pride in his eyes saving her the embarrassment of bringing up her little drunken indiscretion.

It always baffled Drew how Isobel could walk into a room like she didn’t have the ability to steal everyone’s very last breathe from their lungs. Always so coy and oblivious to how much of a force she truly was.

Cooper referred to Drew as the man of the hour, but the only way to appropriately describe Isobel in this moment was as the woman of the entire century.

“I hate to admit it but she’s always had better taste than me.” He heard Lora mumbling to his mother and he smiled knowing they’d been up there trying to dress her up. “Stop that Lora, the white dress will be perfect for the cocktail tomorrow night.” his mom comforted her friend.

He forced himself to look away from Isobel before he did something she would deem obvious to their situation, looking over to see Chandler’s face red with heat as expected, his blue eyes wide with awe, “Think you’ll be able to actually form a sentence for her this time Chan?”

Isobel rushed to to hug everyone, she genuinely missed every person in his room while she was away and the time it took to get through all of them said as much. Chandler cheeks bloomed as he shyly wrapped his arms around her, giving her a simple wave and a quiet ‘hi’ when she pulled away, and she couldn’t help but giggle to herself as she turned towards Charles to greet her second favorite man.

She saved Drew for last and as she approached him bearing a suit on his lean body it dawned on her it probably would’ve of been easier to just get him out of the way first because she knew no matter how short she was in his embrace it would leave lasting effects on her body long after. She moved towards him before she could overthink and draw more attention. She all but tripped into his arms, Drew catching her body so swiftly no one seemed to notice her little stumble.

“Careful there, Is.” Drew whispered while his hands held her waist, but for her that may as well have been a sound bath as the words caused the deepest vibration to rumbled out out of his chest right against hers.

She turned her head and placed her ear on his chest as he squeezed her in a comfortable grip, when she heard the steady pattern of his heart beat she wondered if he could feel her’s erratically beating in her chest. She didn’t relax in his arms, she couldn’t or she would melt. The material of her dress was thin, and right now every part of his body and stitch of his suit felt like it was pressing against the entirety of the front of her. She felt both of their hearts pumping when she heard the intake of breathe from above her head, knowing he was smelling her and as weird as it may seem it only made heat rush down her spine. Her fingers gripped the back of his suit tightly, and just as she began to melt and Drew started to release a shaky exhale, he stepped away.

She quickly sobered, Drew standing behind her as she turned towards everyone. They had a three second hug filled with what felt like an eternity of emotions, and needed to pretend like it was nothing.

“Would you like anything to drink tonight before we go into the dining room, Honey?” Isobel’s mother asked while walking over to the counter to refresh her drink.

Alcohol would definitely ease her nerves and slow the blood that was rushing to her heart from that hug, but under these circumstances she knew it wasn’t in her best interest. She quickly glanced at Drew who was staring blankly into his glass before she turned back to her mother, “No, I’m not drinking tonight.”

Everyone proceeded to burst into laughter from all around the room and Isobel’s cheeks flushed, now more than aware of what they were talking about before she came into the den, “You guys are annoying.” She groaned before walking out of the room to the dining area, her hair swaying just as he expected.

Drew stood there amused as everyone fell in step behind her, Cooper and Lora apologizing to her with giggles spilling out after each word.

“Drew and I will join everyone shortly, don’t wait up.” His father stated, catching Drew off guard as he twisted to face him with furrowed brows. He really wasn’t in the mood for a ‘talk’ with his father that would ultimately end in both of their moods being ruined.

When he saw the pointed look on his face he relented and walked over to the sofa.

“I’m really proud of you, son.” His father’s words came off as genuine as he topped off Drew’s whiskey. Drew wanted to fully appreciate this moment, but the alcohol signified something was looming.

“Thanks, Dad.” He smiled, the two tilting their glasses as he sat adjacent to him on the feathered filled cushions.

His father sat silently, but his eyes said a thousand things as they studied him. He didn’t want to fidget under his gaze, he just wanted to sit comfortably with his dad without judgement coming from him. Drew hated how he had become used to their conversations turning sour to the point where he was bracing himself for it.

Cooper’s hearty laughter bellowed into the room from the dining area and as if on cue his father spoke, “I really am pleased that you accepted the job offer, all I ever wanted was for you to be apart of the company with us.”

In all honesty Drew had done everything he could to avoid working in the family industry. Looking back he wasn’t so sure why he’d been so adverse to the idea. It could’ve been the silver spoon he had in his mouth since he was a young boy or he could attribute it all to just plain boyish immaturity. But now with graduation a semester away it seemed like the only thing that made sense in this impending period of change. It was the same calming feeling he got the first time he kissed Isobel, as soon as he did it the feeling of facing the effects of their actions the next day didn’t scare him.

And now that two weeks had passed each intimate moment between them made him a little bit more accepting of the future.

“Yeah, it felt nice to take that next step, I’m looking forward to it.” He truthfully spoke, though he could relate his sentiments to more than just the job. As messy as getting involved with Isobel was he would never go back, it was a risk he was willing to take. He went with a curious feeling in his gut, and the more that feeling developed the more it felt like a sure thing.

Charles pulled him into a hug and in this moment Drew felt fulfilled, for once he felt like he’d made the right choice. Although, his father words from earlier rang in his ears.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t go back on his word in the next five months.

Then suddenly Isobel’s giggle flowing in the air as it traveled down the hall pulled him out of his thoughts before he spiraled in a fit of self doubt. He needed to exceed his father’s expectations but on his own terms because at the end of the day it was what Drew wanted that mattered.

“I hope nothing is happening that will jeopardize your transition to C&S, Drew.” Charles expressed after pulling away, a layer of animosity stitched within his tone.

Drew knew better than to react, he needed to tread lightly because he knew how his father moved when he was trying to get information out of him. He didn’t know exactly what he was getting at, but he didn’t want to give anything away before he could find out, “Dad I’m committed to the company you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Good because otherwise I’d advise you to end whatever could affect that.” He spoke hypothetically, but the the look in his eyes held exactly what Isobel was trying to avoid. She would have a freak out if she knew this conversation was going on. Or was he just being paranoid? “I’m positive it won’t come to that.” Drew reassured him then knocked back the rest of his drink, making the lie all the more bitter on his tongue.

Charles got up with a laugh and glanced at Drew, shaking his head in amusement at whatever was going on in that wandering mind of his, “You’re really quick with your hands you know, but that’s what I should expect after all those years of baseball right?”

His father again chuckled to himself at his own words. Drew had felt a a number of things during that short hug with Isobel, and he was sure she did too—like a mutual feeling between the two that they kept to themselves. Though it only took Isobel’s tiny stumble and him catching her to raise his father’s suspicions.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART EIGHT

[uhuraisgay]

fic writer meme

ty lore @megafaunatic for tagging meee :3c

How many works do you have on Ao3?

fifty three as of today. tomorrow? who knows.... (probably still fifty three)

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

518,435 words .... wrow.....

3. What fandoms do you write for?

historically its been all over the place but theres so much stuff rotting and dying in my gdrive that has never been posted so i feel like i have a broader actual ouvre than is represented on ao3. which is mdzs heavy at least in the past couple years

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. beyond all limit (wangxian i wrote for lore right after i first read the book) 4. if the story's over (moshang post-divorce get-together fic) 3. someone as good for me as you (written in 2016 for holster and ransom when i was reading check, please. LMAO) 2. at least as deep as the pacific ocean (written in 2015 in the clearest example of 'person distraught by the tragic ending of a tragedy misses the fucking point and writes a coffee shop au of achilles and patroclus after she read tsoa' ever, even bigger LMAO) 1. your name safe in their mouth (lsz gets his dad back, and other emotional adventures)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i used to try to reply to every comment i got but i stopped doing that around the same time i went to college and got more depressed. but i love reading comments and i sometimes reply if someone says something that moves me or like. asks me a question about the fic that i want to elaborate on? because i love to yap

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not really good at writing straight angst i feel like it's normally like. angst with catharsis. but i wrote some explorations on grief in the past couple years that i feel like have the angst factor (what i have of you about nhs after nmj dies, and then when your beard fell out about my sweetie pie kageyama tobio in middle school after his grandpa dies)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i have a lot of silly fluffy fics... idk i try to toe the line mostly of like. the joys and sadnesses of human experience but sometimes you just gotta fluff it up. i'll set the table, you can make the fire, which is book verse aziraphale/crowley living in a cottage and being in love, comes to mind....i love that one

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i've ever really gotten hate on a fic? i have been extremely lucky in that regard. especially since my whole ouvre from like 2014 onward is on that damn site and much of it is very cringeworthy.

9. Do you write smut?

not well!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

i often will do like kind of a quasi-crossover kind of thing rather than a True Crossover wherein i take characters i like from one medium and plop them into the roles and places of characters i like from another medium. i did a dragon age wangxian fic where lwj was the inquisitor from da:i called we held together the fragile sky that kind of exemplifies this dynamic

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of or that anyone has ever notified me of, but i also don't look that hard. if this has ever happened, it would hurt my feelings, so please don't do it ? lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!!! and i was honored

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not as such but i have one not-intended-for-posting fic which is basically just a transcription of jokes i have with my roommate about haikyuu characters LOL which i think counts as co-writing. she's my co-writer in spirit even if i'm the one at the keyboard

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

my answer to this changes with every new fixation i have. like right now it's kagehina. if you asked me four years ago i would have said wangxian. You Know?

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

SO MANY...i think probably my fullmetal alchemist nie brothers au....i try not to post things until they are done and fully edited now, but that one was a whim-based fic that i lost all strength for as soon as i started thinking too hard about kagehina. i also had a fem nielan sci fi au that was vaguely based off beauty and the beast but nmj was like stuck in a ship and she thought she was its computer and that she was a program but she was actually a person....which i never posted any of except snippets on twitter and i think it was just too sprawling for my current skill level...i just was never able to wrangle it. but i am fond of it nonetheless

16. What are your writing strengths?

based on what other people have told me i would say the way i write sibling / family relationships, and while my prose is not always pretty i do think it can be pretty at times ...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i feel like it's often too self-indulgent even if that's what fic is for lol, and i tend to look back on fics and think, i wrote that because i had feelings about it and wanted to say it, but i'm not necessarily sure that This Character would say/do that at this point in time....idk like i fear that when i don't think about it hard enough my characterization can be weak or guided by what eye personally would do vs. what The Character would do. but some of that is because the majority of my fics on ao3 are from years and years ago and i (hopefully) have continued to improve

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

i'm picky about it but when it's done well i think it's really fun and builds so much of the world/character. i think when it's bad it's really bad. when i go about it i try to think about like, a) do i know this language myself/do i know someone who does. if the answer is no i try to keep it really minimal. b) how do people who know multiple languages approach speaking those multiple languages naturally in real life. like (IN MY EXPERIENCE) ppl don't tend to switch languages for random words mid-sentence unless those words are like, mom, dad, uncle, aunt, ect...maybe swearing if they're less familiar with one of the languages and don't know slang/swearing in it...but again when it's done well it's really good and i'm not an expert. i just can kinda tell when it feels off when i read it, if that makes sense...(it's the same way i feel about grammar lol. sometimes i can just tell it's a little Off)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

probably either fma or soul eater or the sister's grimm book series when i was in middle school. or maybe doctor who? idk i had a lot of fanfic notebooks that i have since destroyed and then regretted destroying

20. Favorite fic you have written?

at the present moment it's in these coming years my kagehina love letter but again i feel like it changes constantly. like the more i write the better i get and the more the newest/most polished thing i've written sort of Becomes my favorite just by default of my satisfaction level with it. sorry if that's a bad answer

tagging @yuebings @dcyiyou @burins @cairoscene @cafecliche @perilously sorry if you've been tagged already also if you want to do this and i didn't tag you just say i did. I'll shut up now

[amethyst-geek]

The Harper Family in my Total Drama high school/urban fantasy AU

As discussed in one of my previous posts, I would have my Total Drama AU make certain characters related. You see sometime ago, I decided that Ennui and Ella would be fraternal twins (though Ella will probably have been held back a year so they'll be a grade apart in the main story). I picture both of them having powers thanks to them being tied for the seventh child of their dad who is the seventh of his own siblings. Then sometime later, Totaldramarama put the idea of Ella being Gwen's cousin in my head. I actually like this idea and would like to incorporate it into my AU as well. So now, I would like to go over the 7 members of the previous Harper generation and their children.

Firstborn- Don- as the eldest of his siblings, his father, who was member of an organization that hunted down supernatural beings and he expected Don to follow in his footsteps and subjected him to intense and dangerous training; since Don had no desire to be a killer, he ran away along with his twin sister. They thought about taking some of their younger siblings with them but decided that it would be more practical to come back for them after getting jobs. He and Christine spent the first few months on the streets and in homeless shelters and during this time, one volunteers working at 1 of said homeless shelters helped Don and Christine get jobs. After they saved up enough money, Don and Christine were able to move out of the homeless shelter and into an apartment. Don then decided to briefly return to their hometown only to see that his parents and siblings no longer lived there. A neighbor then explained that shortly after he and Christine ran away, their father tried ti stab one of their younger siblings, only for their mom to act as a human shield and wound up going to the hospital. As a result, their father was arrested and sentenced to 7 years in prison, and their mother finally worked up the courage to divorce him. Content that his mother and siblings were able to get away from Mr. Harper, Don returned to his apartment. Later, Don went to college, became a teacher, got married, adopted his wife's surname, and had three kids (1 of them being a girl in the same grade as the Island cast and has Bridgette's concept design; and since Lindsay mentioned having a friends named Bitsy in the TDA episode Get a Clue, I decided that this Bitsy character will be Don's daughter). He and Christine weren't able to get back in contact with their mom and sibling until years later when he recognized one of his student's surname as his own former surname.

2nd born- Christine (Topher's mom)- Don's twin sister; while her father expected his sons to follow in his footsteps in hunting down supernatural beings, he expected his daughters to get married as soon as possible and become housewives and was quite cruel to daughters whenever they showed signs of being anything less than his idea of a perfect woman. So he had arranged for Christine to marry an apprentice of his. However, Christine had no desire to get married so young (let alone to someone her father picked out for her, so as soon as she and Don turned 18, they ran away from home. As mentioned in Don's bio, she and Don lived in a homeless shelter for a while before getting jobs and saving up enough money to move into an apartment. Sometime later, she got married and had Topher.

3rd child- Megan (Gwen's mom)

4th child- Joseph (OC brother who runs an ice cream parlor/candy store with his wife).

5th child- oc sister

6th child- possibly Emma Masterson (as in Jen Masterson's mom, I decided to make Jen and Gwen cousins)

7th child- Anthony Harper Sr (father of Marlowe, Ennui, and Ella)- having only been 6 or 8 when his father got arrested, Anthony doesn't remember his father's cruelty as clearly as his siblings do, and his mother didn't like to talk about him a lot. As a result, when his dad got out of jail when Anthony was a teenager, Anthony was the only one of his siblings willing to talk to him, and his father was able to turn him against his mother and the rest of their family. As soon as he turned 18, Anthony cut contact with his mom and siblings to join his father's supernatural-hunting organization. About a year later, he married to the daughter of one of his father's associates. He then proceeded to treat her as cruely as his father treated his mother, and generally treated her like a maid and baby factory. When he and his wife were expecting their 7th child, Anthony realized that this child would be the 7th child of a 7th child and thus would almost certainly have supernatural powers. He planned to kill the child as soon as it was born. However, his plans changed when his wife turned out to be carrying twins. Anthony wasn't sure which twin had inherited the 7th child powers, so he decided to wait a few years and planned to kill whichever twin showed signs of having powers first. The twins were then named Anthony Jr and Ella. As Anthony Jr and Ella got older, their father became increasingly cruel to them in hopes of triggering the powers of whichever twin had inherited the 7th child powers. His wife tried to protect her kids from their father's cruetly, but the strain of her multiple pregnancies (as well as her parents thwarting her attempts to leave him) made it difficult for her to do so. Since Anthony jr was his spitting image, Anthony sr had hoped it was Ella who had been the 1 who inherited the powers so that he could spare Anthony Jr. Around the time Anthony jr and Ella were 4, Anthony sr subjected Anthony jr to another beating, this time doing so while making Ella watch. Ella couldn't stand seeing her brother get hurt, her anger caused her to 7th child powers to awaken in the form of her turning into a dragon in order to protect her twin brother from their father. Anthony Sr then tried to slay his daughter and managed to use his skill to knock out Ella enough for her to lose consciosuness and revert back to her human form. Just as he was about to slay her Anthony Jr 's own 7th child powers awakened as well in the form of vampiric abilities and he used to protect Ella from their father. This caught Anthony Sr off-guard long enough for his wife to show up and protect her kids from her husband. However, since she was still recovering from the birth of her tenth child, Anthony Sr was able to overpower her and kill her. He was then arrested for murder. However, before he could be sentenced, some of his associates broke him out of prison and he became a fugitive. Anthony Sr's children were then sent to live with their maternal grandparents, but that didn't last long as they they tried to kill Anthony Jr and Ella too, only for their older brother to stop them, and their grandparents wound up getting arrested. Anthony Sr's father tried to get custody of his grandkids, but due to his criminal record, the case worker decided against this. The 10 siblings were then sent to a group foster home until the case worker tracked down their paternal grandmother and by extension, several of the children's aunts and uncles. Ella and AJ were sent to live with one of their aunt Megan while the rest of their siblings were wound living with either their paternal grandmother, their aunt Emma, or their uncle Joseph. While living with aunt Megan, his cousin Gwen introduced AJ to goth culture, which lead to AJ to start going by Ennui. Around the same time, Ella became very fond of Disney movies.

Edit: had it so that Gwen's mom was the 4th child and Jen's mom was the 3rd, but I switched their birth positions.

Edit: switched around the birth order of Emma, Joseph, and the nameless OC sister when I did the math and realized it would make more sense to make Emma one of the younger siblings considering I would still want to adapt the storyline where she has another baby when her elder daughters are already in their teens. Also added some information about the name of Don's daughter.

Edit: Emma and the OC sister might be identical twins.

[crystalqueerenby]

1-35 :D

1. I don't really have one with mah name

2. In January so I grew up with kinda shit birthdays since all the money went into Christmas

3. I have never had a serious relationship

4. The song of Achilles

5. My height, I'm just so tall and not a lot of things weren't made with tall people in mind

6. Keith David, John Boyega, Oscar Issac, Donald Glover, Lou Willson

7. Margot Robie, Brandy, Issa Rae, Keke Palmer, Symone

8. Paleontologist or Anthropologist

9. Honestly I can't think of anything concrete just sentimental stuff so I guess getting this far is an accomplishment

10. I lived near two beaches, which were walking distance from where I lived and I still can't swim

11. Had none been a pretty okay months

12. New Zealand

13. Listening to music and watching art videos

14. Pintrest

15. A Mish mash of contradictions held together by compassion.

16. People tell I look cute, my heights attractive too I guess but I like to think my charm and wit is what keeps people interested.

17. Math

18. Decorating

19. I mean I'm not out to any family

20. The best berry to use in pokemon to max out your contest stats is the nutpea berry, because of its low smoothness it doesn't fill up your pokemon quickly so can feed it more pokeblocks to quickly raise all of its contests stats by combining four nutpea berries making a black pokebloke which only fills the pokemon up by one point while raising two random contest stats by 2

21. My siblings I guess

22. Don't really have one

23. My best friend from high school, been friends for six years now

24. When I was filling out college paper work with an efficiency that I didn't have at that point

25. Played cricket most of my life not in any leagues though

26. Sleepy

27. Night owl

28. No

29. Can't think of one

30. A good shower and a nap

31. Rio Romeo, Dolly Parton, Ne-Yo

32. Change

33. People who just say wrong things that they think are right that they would know was wrong with a quick Google search

34. Howls moving castle, just, it's so beautiful

35. Nice but awkward, I've had people say they thought I was cool though so that has to count for thing.

[kismetharborapps]

MUSE APP

ooc information

name: D

preferred pronouns: he/him

age: 27

timezone: EST 

activity level: 6-7/10 

triggers: Alcohol

anything else?: I’m disabled so my activity varies but I’m typically online quite often!

character information

name: Cillian Byrne 

faceclaim: Evan Peters

gender & pronouns: Cisgender Man, he/him

age: 35

birthday: March 1, 1989

place of birth: Boston, MA

occupation: Chef at Neptune Oyster

neighborhood: Downtown 

time since arriving in kismet harbor: Since January 2020 (4 years) 

filling a wanted connection?: N/A

biography: 

1. Cillian was always a “handful” his mother would say, always full of energy! In class he was talkative, sometimes to the point of disruption. This is how he gained the nickname of “Silly.” 

2. Growing up, Cillian wasn’t sure where he fit in which he wanted to do desperately. He knew he was different, he just didn’t know how. 

3. At Age 10, he was diagnosed with ADHD-Hyperactive type. This was the first of many trips to the psychiatrist. 

4. As a teenager, Cillian experimented with alcohol and drugs alongside his friends. It started to take a toll on his life. He also started to act out, pulling stunts at school and getting suspended. His parents were worried for their son but hoped it was a “phase” just like their rowdy teenage years. Except Cillian sometimes wouldn’t always make sense when he spoke to people. “Word salad” the child psychologist told them. “It can be a feature of psychosis.” Psychosis? This was a new world for the Byrnes.

5. One night, Cillian woke his parents up in the middle of the night. “Mom…dad…please help me,” he cried. They immediately got out of bed, trying to get answers out of their child but Cillian was inconsolable. They never quite understood what or who Cillian was referring to, they just held their boy tightly. The next morning, they agreed as a family that Cillian should spend some time in the hospital.

6. Cillian would spend a total of 5 stays inpatient, ranging from the ages of 16 - 22. He told the doctors about being scared all the time and how he wasn’t always coherent according to those around him. How sometimes he heard things that his friends swear they didn’t hear. How he felt like he was “white knuckling” it at all times, afraid of how he’ll feel next. It wasn’t until the last one that they found out what was going on: Cillian has Schizophrenia.

7. Cillian didn’t go to a traditional college. Higher education was never in the plans which is why his parents were shocked when he asked to go to culinary school. “I dunno. Seems fun,” he’d shrug. They agreed because they thought it’d give him structure. As it turns out, Cillian was excellent in culinary school. At times, his instructors would use his assignments as examples of what to look for. Cillian was proud! His parents were too! 

8. He spent some time in NYC learning from the best in Michelin star restaurants. He especially grew attached to fish butchery. His colleagues would call him “Silly the Shucker” because of how fast he could crack open oysters. 

9. Although, as good as the food was in NYC at times the city was overwhelming for Silly. He wanted something quieter, somewhere simpler which brought him to Neptune Oyster in Kismet Harbor. 

10. Present day Cillian is much shier than he was as a child. He’s also hesitant to open up around people, at least now that he is Cillian: The Great Masterchef. He doesn’t want people to think of him as Cillian: The Mentally Ill Guy with an Unusual Childhood. Maybe someday he’ll accept that he’s both and that’s OK. 

Other: This is my other RP account! 

pets: Kate the calico cat https://uploads.dailydot.com/2024/06/shutterstock_1878011758-1.jpg?auto=compress&fm=pjpg 

town activities: AA & NA, Knit Happens, Mindful Madness, Bowling League, Lake Legion 

draw of luck: No thanks

[keenexpressions]

Sophia Baltasar

1. Name, Year, & Major

Sophia Juliana (Nickname: Sophie), 2nd Year, Global Disease Biology w/ Public Health minor

2. If you were a luxury brand, what would it be and why?

If I were a luxury brand, it would be Dior because I love their lip glow products.

3. Who is your personal hero and why?

My personal hero is my best friend. We’ve been best friends since elementary school and she relentlessly has my back no matter what, and I couldn’t possibly ask for better.

4. How do you react after a conflict occurs, and why?

After a conflict occurs, I usually stay silent to reflect on the situation, and how my possible actions will impact how the parties involved feel. I don’t want to escalate the situation, and usually seek the most peaceful resolution. 

5. If you were granted 3 wishes, what would it be?

If I was granted 3 wishes, I would wish for 1) to be able to talk with my grandpa again, 2) for my dog to live as long as me, and 3) for my siblings to be successful.

6. What would you Google about your life?

“How many hamsters did Sophie have in her lifetime?”

7. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I like how I try my best to talk with everyone and get to know others :)

8. What's your toxic trait?

My toxic trait is how easily my facial expressions give away my mood – while people can easily tell when I’m excited, they can also tell if I’m upset just by looking at me.

9. Would you visit the future or past?

I would want to visit the future because I am curious as to where I would live! I’ve been in the Bay Area/Davis my entire life and I’ve always dreamed of traveling the world.

10. What are the biggest differences between you today/now and five years ago? And what advice would you give to yourself from five years ago?

The biggest difference between me today and five years ago is my source of happiness. I would advise myself from five years ago to seek happiness from multiple places, rather than to base my happiness on one thing. Growing up, I went to a competitive high school just like everyone else in the Bay Area. I based my happiness and view of myself on my grades and would spend my time constantly studying for AP exams, SATs, and community college classes. Every day felt the same, and yet I was in a constant cycle of school, homework, and sleep.

When the pandemic hit, I was distraught, as I really only had studying left as my only option in my free time. I began to hang out with my friends more on spontaneous activities to better our physical and mental health like running three miles to get boba, skateboarding at midnight, and group games over Discord. Life is so much better when you attempt to make the most out of everything you do – after all, you will always get out what you put in. I would tell my younger self to not be afraid to have fun, and that being spontaneous is okay sometimes. Strengthening my friendship with my best friends from home, opening up to my new friends in college, and not being afraid to leave behind what I felt held me back from personal growth were the best things I could do for myself. It might seem scary, but you’ll never grow if you don’t venture into the unknown.

[hybridonlinelearning]

Via the internet Learning is this Completely new Choice with Education and learning

hybrid online learning You prefer to advance your job and give your own self even more opportunities, and that you are a working hard adult whose ambition is much more education however , simply cannot afford to go to some sort of traditional college campus. Traditional colleges keep on being popular, but scores of Americans just prefer you tend to be switching to online learning. Why? Earning ones degree online is actually convenient, and quite a few World wide web education applications provide same level of quality schooling as class packages.

hybrid online learning

Internet knowledge software programs are simply no longer often considered as appearing low quality. Actually prestigious Ivy Group universities including Harvard, Yale, and Princeton now offer internet courses that might depend towards some degree. Web sites state by the Sloan Consortium (Sloan-C), your nonprofit group held by the Alfred R. Sloan Cornerstone, divulges the fantastic improvement in Web education and learning. Staying your Study course: Online Learning in the states, 2008 the right answers a lot of important inquiries within the growth together with excellent of Online world learning programs. This file includes questionnaire benefits from a lot more than 3, 500 colleges and research institutes.

What exactly Online Schooling?

Potential students might be mystified on the subject of just what indicates online education compared to traditional classroom schooling. Here's a fast explanation:

Traditional and also face-to-face classroom exercising incorporates programs within which nil so that you can 29 p . c from the content is normally delivered online.

Divesified or hybrid tuition offers between 30 % and 80 pct of the study course subject matter delivered on line.

Internet courses are generally these in of which at least 60 percent of a path content can be shipped online. A lot of plans are 100 percent on the internet.

Your Growth with On line Programs

In case you are entertaining the idea of an via the internet routine, rest assured that will millions of consumers just like people usually are making that same personal preference. On the internet enrollments can be skyrocketing! The Sloan-C online survey revealed which in the course of the fall 2007 term, 3. 94 million people ended up being using at the very least one online training course, an increase involving 12. 9 % boost over this number noted your previous year. Within the same period around twenty percent of their U. S. degree students were spending at least 1 online lessons.

Around the five yrs since the initial Sloan-C survey upon internet learning, a number of on line students has greater than doubled. In that tumble of 2002 the sheer number of students getting one or more online study course is 1. 6 , 000, 000; the rise to be able to 3. 94 mil by this fall associated with 2007 represents a good mix annual progress speed of 20. 7 percent.

The reason why Tend to be People Looking for Via the internet Education?

Distinct attributes of an economic depression correlate with raising demand for on the internet courses.

Excessive fuel costs will influence more trainees to select via the internet lessons.

Institutions this serve being employed parents with career-focused applications are progressively popular.

-- Quite a few schools give budgetary aid and vocation guidance services designed for both traditional and additionally online students.

: The advances around computer technology as well as the proliferation of high-speed Internet access inside houses makes internet figuring out an interesting alternative.

-- Advantage. You can get paid a level from a on line college despite the fact that you get the job done ones own present job or even take care from children from home. Most people can study at the own pace along with your own convenience.

: Online courses provide real-time interaction by using instructors and many other students. You could possibly get far more very own attention through your on the internet instructor compared to everyone would receive in a very giant lecture hallway on campus!

-- Accredited schools help make no distinction amongst the diploma earned inside of a classroom, online, as well as a blended program. A certificates are the identical.

How Do Anyone Get Started?

The ultimate way to research your choices is to use the to a free of cost faculty directory blog for example the one less than. You can actually enter your search engine terms that tend to be appropriate for most people (such as "online healthcare degrees" or simply "online MBA"). You realize you'll be presented with cost-free info on the authorized packages that satisfy a criteria. Do a comparison of financing, career products and services, in addition to program material. Skinny down a person's choices along with make contact with the institutions of which interest anyone. Inside less time frame as opposed to you think you might be earning your via the internet level from a comfort of your personal house.

[levisblackbabe]

Headcanons of Aot boys with a black gf

Characters: Eren Jeager , Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein x fem black reader (separate)

Genre: Mostly fluff, slight angst, deffo crack, (everyone is +18)

Warnings: Language, a bit toxic, slightly suggestive

Wc: 1500+ (Each character is about 300-400 words)

Eren Jeager (The lowkey Toxic one)

· Lowkey scared of y/n because she reminds him of Levi when she is angry, and he knows she will beat his ass if necessary

· Started out as friends but he has always liked y/n

· He initially asked you out as a dare and you only found out after 6 weeks where you broke up 😐

· This legit started the cycle of breaking and getting back together (he never cheated though just a lil bit toxic)

· He is very possessive and controlling which also lead to your break ups

· Even though you have your ups and down he is mostly a good boyfriend

· He plays basketball so every time he is practising on his own, he asks you to be there for rebounds (in reality he just wants you near him baso 24/7)

· Loves your smell so he steals those items might be your lotion, hair products or perfume

· Loves your natural hair and just touches it without permission after a couple times you just gave up telling him off

· He was confused on why you changed your hair so often

· When you guys first started dating you came with box braids rather then your usual bun and he deadass thought you were somebody else 💀he was so confused on why this stranger was touching him up (this mf loyal cuz he was ready to punch you)

· He was soooo scared of meeting your parents (had to call Armin to ask for advice)

· Your family at first didn’t like him cuz of the constant breaking up but they grew to tolerate him (however your older brother doesn’t)

· Loves taking pictures of you during facetime, golden hour or whenever and saves them in a folder (simp)

· Loves your cooking soo much that he goes collect tubber ware of food worth a week and stocks up his fridge

· He loves when you speak to him in another language so he pisses you off so you can cuss him out in your native tongue

· He barely calls your name its either babe or some cringey name like bubbs or something (however if you hear your full name leave his month rip)

Armin Artlet (The simp)

· SHY BAE that’s it

· He was your English tutor and has always had a crush on you

· He wanted to ask you out on a date, but he shy and thought you won’t like white boys

· You asked him instead cuz you fell for his ocean blue eyes (I mean who wouldn’t)

· In the beginning you had to take the initiative a lot cuz he wanted to respect your boundaries but after a while he grew comfortable and took the lead

· He LOVES your natural hair and knows your wash day schedule, so he always offers to help anyway possible

· He was absolutely scared of meeting your family cuz once again he white 😐 however everyone loved him

· He most definitely invited to the family reunion

· Your aunts adore him and they always talking about you as a baby to him

· He always doing late night ft calls with you, and he WON’T hang up cuz he wants to see your face when you wake up

· Armin is a giver, so he always offers to buy thigs for your and just buy gifts at least once a week

· He also loves cooking for and with you (once you had a cooking competition and technically, he is a better cook, but he let you win)

· He likes sending random pictures of things you like and remind him of you

· He happily takes pictures of you (photographer Armin)

· You guys have a pet turtle called Mickey 🐢

· His nicknames for you are beautiful, pretty and stuff like that

· Just overall fluff

Levi Ackerman (the co-worker)

· You guys have been co-workers for 2 years actually

· You thought he hated you but in reality, he does he just acts stingy towards cuz he is Levi 😐 (some serious enemies to lovers vibe)

· He didn’t confess and never would have but due to a drunken Hange letting it slip during a hang out with your co-workers you found out

· He deadass ignored you for a week like if he saw you, he would turn into Houdini and disappear

· However, you once caught him distracted and forced him to talk to you

· Reluctantly so he spoke the truth and asked you out (thought he seemed angry about it)

· Now you guys have happily been dating

· Everyone in your office finds you lucky cuz Levi is the finest man in the office heck the world (if he was real, I would leave my bf 😭)

· He actually has a 5-year-old daughter (DILF! Levi) and told you why he never said anything about his feeling was because you know single dad and shiz

· After 6 weeks you met his babygirl and she is the cutest she loves you considering she never had much of a mother figure in her life

· His daughter is mixed so he knows how to deal with natural hair thanks to YouTube, so he sometimes helps with yours (such a good dad)

· But now that you are here you offer to do any protective styles and give him tips

· Levi isn’t very open, but he expresses his love to you with physical touch, acts of service or gifts

· However, he speaks very softly to his daughter he seems different

· Due to his love language being touch he loves petting your hair (only when you have protective styles) and putting his head on it ( he is tall in my head okay)

· He loves having you in close proximity to you and just somehow touching you

· Him and your dad really hit it off because they both have daughters

· Your aunts are lowkey infatuated with him

· Loves making breakfast for you but due to your busy schedule he just buys your coffee in the morning

· He will never tell you, but he has trouble falling asleep but when you sleepover he actually has a full nights rest (he has silk sheets just for you)

· He might seem closed off, but you know he loves you due to the little things

Connie Springer (the bestfriend)

a/n I just want to say Connie will be of Hispanic heritage for the sake of this headcanon also because all the fanfics I read about him he is portrayed as Hispanic I just write him like this however this isn’t to offend anyone or play onto stereotypes.

· You guys have been besties since freshman year high school

· You hooked up freshman year of college and been dating ever since

· Nothing really changed in your dynamic other than the fact yall kiss and do the deed

· Like you legit call each other insults though Connie likes calling slime and bubbs

· You jokingly calling each other baby mama and baby daddy (manifesting kids but whatever)

· Speaking of kids, you have plushies that you call kids and rotate them around (they are from your arcade date)

· Loves being on call with you when he is playing because it helps calm him down and not break his tv (anger issues much)

· HYPEMAN if you are looking fine asf he will hype you up so much and offer to take pictures for the gram

· You have a joint TikTok account where you reaching 10k and just do dumb couple stuff its cringey but cute (Same goes for your joint spam account where you guys just do silly things together)

· He always asks to do your hair which you repetitively deny keeping in mind last time you let him he nearly ripped off half your scalp

· Late nights drives happen a lot so you can vent and have a heart to heart under the stars, you guys also just vibe to the music and might spend hours in silence looking at the city lights and dancing

· If you fall asleep on him or in the drive back he becomes really cute and soft and just says you are beautiful and that he loves you in Spanish (ugh my heart)

· He only speaks Spanish when he wants to be cute and knows you won’t understand

· Your family have always liked him so when you guys started dating everyone was like ‘FINALLY’ (same with his family)

· Some type of kid’s movie marathon once a month cuz being a child is great

· Its just overall jokes

Jean Kirstein (Mr Doesn’t Give Up)

· Kept asking you out for a year until you gave in, he was so excited he kissed you straightaway

· He was so nervous in your first date, but he was a gentleman opening doors etc (whoever said chivalry was dead 🤨)

· Nearly said I love you on the first date considering he has liked you for a year, but he held it in

· However, he did get a kiss goodnight on the cheek (he was grinning like a fool)

· Loves the fact that you change your hair so much and so often that he happily gives recommendations and offers to help you out

· He is the overprotective type of boyfriend so he was reluctant on you meeting his friends especially Eren, but you reassured him that you wouldn’t be swayed (still icky about you hanging with Eren though)

· He adores playing pc games with you and you have a little family in Sims4 which is cute

· He now has a skincare routine because you introduced him to it (he said he didn’t need one cuz he has a ‘handsome face’ but he secretly started one lol

· He also steals your body lotion and legit smells like you (smh)

· His wrist always has a silk crunchie in case you need it, and, in his car, he has a bag with essentials for you such as pads, edge control, etc

· He calls you cute pet names but also the occasional insults as a joke

· He is lowkey rich, so he happily spoils you to fancy dinners and more

· He also likes going back to the basics so picnic dates in the spring and summer are common he says he cooks them but in reality, it’s his mum

· Your mum absolutely adores him cuz he is a ‘charmer’

· He likes facetiming you when he is working out so he can show up, but you just ignore him and continue doing what you are doing

· Like Eren he has a folder filled of mugs of you

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[alotofteez]

Sphallolalia | Part 6

Series: ⇢ Pairing: San x fem!Reader ⇢ Genre: flirty af fluff, hints of angst, suggestive, kinda smutty, older reader (noona) ⇢ Synopsis: As your best friend’s maid of honor, you must endure the shameless best man’s flirting until after the wedding. It's just sphallolalia... right?

Part 6: One Less Thing - Moodboard ⇢ Genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, & slightly smutty ⇢ Warnings: language, wet daydreams, self-image issues, and self-hatred ⇢ Word Count: 8,228 i- 👀

a/n: I feel like half of this isn’t as good as I was hoping

Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

taglist: @joongiebug (url doesn’t exist), @simluvbot​, @kimtae-bae (not taggable?), @justsayk​, @sunsethw4​, @baguette-atiny​

It is finally the day you’ve been dreading: bridesmaid dress shopping. Fortunately, the remaining two bridesmaids, Yoojung and Kyungmi, are able to fit shopping into their schedules this weekend. You were beginning to worry that Mina would have to pick without them trying on dresses, which would have stressed Mina out more than she already is.

Yoojung is a childhood friend who moved far away for college. You remember the two of them running around Mina’s house playing dolls. Yoojung always had her hair cut in a bob with straight across bangs. She looked so adorable with her chubby little cheeks that were constantly flushed from them playing so much. Seeing her today, you notice how much she has grown up, and it tugs at your heart a bit.

Kyungmi met Mina in a marketing class which had them glued to each other to survive with a passing grade. Mina had never seemed so stressed, and it hurt that there was nothing you could do to make the class better. You’re just glad she had someone going through the same thing with her. Kyungmi is quiet until she’s comfortable around you, which she then turns into the mood maker of the group. She knows how to make Mina relax and not excessively worry about things. Though she is a year younger than Mina, she holds Mina accountable for her responsibilities, which played a huge part in her passing that class.

Having Mina’s friends from different stages of her life come together to celebrate this huge milestone gets you kind of emotional. The mimosa you are currently sipping on in this hole-in-the-wall restaurant does not help these emotions either. Visiting this place brings back the memories of when Mina would come stay the weekend with you while you were in your first couple of years of college. 

After hearing someone talk about how good the food was in one of your classes, you knew Mina would insist on trying it, and ever since then, this restaurant has held a special place in your heart. Every morning she was with you, the two of you would have brunch here. Each visit, Mina would try a different meal until she had ordered everything on the menu at least once, and sometimes when she didn’t like it, she would eat off your plate. You never minded because of how much you mother her. Now, the waffles and coffee taste like a simpler time when your biggest worries were an exam over a topic you didn’t really understand and how to deal with Mina’s high school struggles.

The conversations have been pleasant so far, topics mostly concerning the wedding, especially decorating. Mina has decided loosely on a boho chic meets the city theme, which combines the aesthetic of popular Pinterest weddings and Mina’s actual lifestyle. Her inability to commit to one option is slowly withering down your sanity. It’s difficult for her to distinguish what the internet wants and what she actually wants. Maybe once she starts buying more decorations she will stick to the theme.

As you eat, you listen to them talk, occasionally throwing in your opinion. After taking a large bite, you notice Kyungmi opening the camera app on her phone.

“Let’s take a picture for Instagram!” Kyungmi chirps, already holding out the device for a selfie.

You quickly swallow and swipe your tongue across your teeth for any stuck food before leaning in and smiling for the photo. Kyungmi spams the shutter button in case someone blinks and sifts through all the pictures for the best one.

“What’s your username on Instagram?” She asks you so that she can tag you, to which you answer.

The conversations resume as Kyungmi gets distracted with the social media app, but after tagging everyone, she turns to you again.

“Why don’t you ever post?” Apparently, she crept on your profile.

“I don’t really get on there anymore.”

“Why?”

The real reason is something you don’t want to admit right now, especially to someone much younger than you who won’t understand. You don’t want to see all the cool things people you grew up with are doing. You want to be happy for them, but you just can’t because a large part of you is jealous. You want to be doing the same things, like the adult you’re supposed to be. You only ever get on when Mina asks you to go like whatever she just posted.

“I don’t do anything fun to post about, so I just don’t get on,” you keep it simple.

“You can just post selfies and stuff. You don’t have to post only amazing adventure-like things.”

But you don’t want others to see that you’re not doing anything with your life. The people following you are those you know from high school and college. There were such high expectations for you that you have yet to reach. You don’t want them to think you’re a lonely, sad adult who still works in retail. With the stigma around that career, being single, and your age, it’s frankly embarrassing.

“Or post pet pictures and videos. Those are always so cute,” Kyungmi adds with a chipper smile.

“Oh, I don’t have a pet.” You can barely take care of yourself, let alone an entire other being. Maybe taking on that responsibility would help you feel more independent and teach you how to take better care of yourself. It would be like a precursor to having a child… right?

On Kyungmi’s profile, you courtesy follow her back, but your attention diverts to how organized her photos are with a specific aesthetic. Her first few rows of posts make your entire account look pathetic. Not only does she have an aesthetically pleasing curation of pictures but also a large following with high engagement. Scrolling through her posts, you kind of wish to be admired as much as her.

“Why do people keep commenting ‘Heather?’ Who’s Heather?” You question looking through comments of one of her posts.

“It means the person they’re calling Heather is beautiful and, like, they wish they were that person. It has to do with a song,” she answers like you won’t understand it if she explains the whole thing, leaning into the stereotypical belief of older generations not understanding social media. That peeves you because the people in your age group are the pioneers of social media.

“Oh, I thought it had to do with the movie Heathers.”

The younger girls start laughing at you, making comments about you being old and out of touch. You didn’t need confirmation of that when you already give yourself a hard time for it. It feels a bit alienating.

“I did too,” Sejeong quietly says to you. 

Although they move on, you are stuck on how unaware you are of newer societal norms. Growing up, you always swore that you would never not know what is going on on the internet to avoid becoming “old.” Yet here you are being confused over slang. You’re not that old… right? 

In the midst of your existential crisis, you feel your phone go off in your pocket, surprised upon seeing who has texted you.

From: Mark😒 hey 10:42 AM

You sit for a moment in silence as everyone else chatters away happily. You really shouldn’t respond, but god, do you crave intimacy. Giving in to Mark always leaves you wanting emotional attachment. Maybe this time you can keep your feelings out of it because you know what will happen. All of this wedding stuff just reminds you of how alone you are.

From: You Hey 10:44 AM

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From: Mark😒 wyd 10:45 AM

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From: You Having brunch with some friends. You? 10:45 AM

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From: Mark😒 nothing 10:46 AM

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From: Mark😒 you want to go out tonight? 10:46 AM

As much as you want to convince yourself that you’re strong enough to hold back this time, you have to acknowledge all the instances he has done this before. You knew what he was going to do those times and still couldn’t manage your feelings. Fulfilling a momentary need doesn’t justify hurting yourself in the long run.

From: You I can’t. I have to be up early tomorrow. 10:47 AM

When you leave the restaurant, you decide to ride with Sejeong while the younger ones ride together to the specialty dress store. Although you have taken on a motherly role among the bridal party, you don’t feel like subjecting yourself to being heckled for being out of the loop. The drive is fairly quiet until your phone buzzes again. You expect it to be Mark trying to guilt you into seeing him, but you are met with San’s name on your lock screen.

From: San🖕 Would Mina be mad if we got bolo ties? 11:31 AM

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From: You Um yes 11:31 AM

“San just asked if they could get bolo ties for the wedding,” you break the silence with a sigh. Sejeong furrows her brows at the road.

“What the hell are bolo ties?”

“They’re those leather cord ties with slider clasps.”

“Aren’t those, like, a cowboy thing?”

“Yeah,” you sigh again.

“Why are the guys so dumb? Every time we do something, they ask something stupid.”

“Right?” You laugh and then feel your phone vibrate again.

From: San🖕 What about ascots? 11:34 AM

“Now, he’s asking about ascots.”

“What the fuck? Why isn’t he sending those to the group chat? I want to clap back,” she complains lightly smacking the steering wheel for emphasis.

“He only wants to annoy me, but I feel like San and Yunho would actually buy those just to piss Mina off.”

From: You Wtf?? Just get normal ties. 11:36 AM

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From: San🖕 For our wedding, I’m wearing a fun tie 11:36 AM

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From: You We will never get married. 11:37 AM

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From: San🖕 Why not? 11:37 AM

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From: You Do you really think we would ever be together? 11:38 AM

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From: San🖕 Idk. I might just make you mine. 11:38 AM

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From: You Good luck with that. 11:39 AM

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From: San🖕 I don’t need luck. 11:39 AM

“I think he’s just trying to find an excuse to text you,” Sejeong says belatedly.

You can’t help but guffaw, “What? No! He has always been like this. He knows I can’t stand him.”

From: You You know, you’re kinda romantically impulsive. 11:41 AM

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From: San🖕 You think I’m romantic? 11:41 AM

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From: You That’s not what that means. 11:42 AM

His replies seem to end as you pull into a parking spot. The specialty store you walk into looks sort of like a warehouse; it contains a wide range of styles and colors. It is somewhat overwhelming with the amount of options. Since Mina has not decided on some vague idea of dresses for you, you dread how long this trip might take.

“What colors are you thinking?” Kyungmi asks, eyes scanning the different sections of styles.

“A dark beige, coral, or maroon. Maybe navy. I don’t know yet,” Mina says giddily.

“Oh, my god, Mina! You need to decide. You don’t have a lot of time,” Kyungmi chides, gawking at her with wide, concerned eyes.

“I know!” Mina whines cutely, “I don’t know what would look good for that time of year.”

“That doesn’t matter! What do you want?”

“It’s not that simple!”

“Mina, do not start quoting The Notebook to me,” Kyungmi groans and grabs her wrist to tug her to the color swatch samples, “It’s not rocket science. Pick one.”

Mina grumbles unintelligibly to herself as she sifts through the selections. Warm-toned swatches collect in her hand, and you’re relieved she’s not leaning towards cool tones because you know those will make everyone look washed out in the photos. Now, you can only hope she picks a simple dress made of breathable materials.

Sejeong sticks to your side as you browse through the rows of dresses. You have no idea what would fit Mina’s theme or what she wants. The only thing you have to go off of is her personal style, which is heavily based on whatever is trending.

“This makes me want to get married. I’m getting old. Why am I not married yet?” Yoojung whines, combing through a nearby rack of silk dresses.

You and Sejeong glance at each other.

“What does that make us?” Sejeong asks, feigning anger.

One of Yoojung’s hands flies over her own mouth as she realizes what she said in front of the two eldest members of the entire wedding party, who also happen to be not married.

“You’re 22. You have plenty of time,” Sejeong assures.

“At least you have a boyfriend,” you mutter quietly to Sejeong.

“Yeah, of four years. Where is my ring?!”

“Get away from those dresses. They’re too expensive,” Mina calls from a few isles away.

Not even concerned about the price beforehand, you check a tag of one. $2,000.

“I wouldn’t even spend that much on my wedding dress,” Sejeong scoffs, walking away.

“Aren’t you dating a CEO?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think a dress is that important. I’ll only wear it once.”

She has a point, but the one occasion you wear it is supposed to be important. Every detail of that day is supposed to be important… or is that just what you have been conditioned to believe? Raised in a society where expensive means better, you just assume you will have a large, extravagant wedding. But is that really what you want?

Additionally, a budget for your own wedding has never really crossed your mind since marriage is so far off in your future. You’re not drowning in money, but you make enough to get by. You can’t afford a house or a new car manufactured within the last few years, things most people your age have. Some of them even have kids; you don’t know if you can afford to have one any time soon… not that that is an option. Maybe you can go to a sperm bank when you’re 30 or something. Hopefully, it won’t come to that.

Your phone vibrates the text notification pattern in your jeans, and you instinctively pull up the message, following Sejeong and Yoojung to where the others are. The sender’s name makes you roll your eyes before reluctantly reading what he sent.

From: San🖕 Babygirl 12:27 PM

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From: You Don’t ever call me that again. 12:27 PM

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From: San🖕 lol what colors did Mina say they wanted for the wedding? 12:28 PM

“They wanted” is more like “Mina wanted.” Mingi doesn’t really care for the theatrics of a wedding, giving her free rein to plan it; he just wants to marry her. A simple man is he.

From: You She still doesn’t know. 12:28 PM

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From: San🖕 Then how are we supposed to order our suits? 12:29 PM

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From: You Just let the tailor get your measurements and you can order them later. 12:30 PM

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From: San🖕 7 inches pushing 8 12:30 PM

He is insufferable. Based on that picture he sent a while back, you know he is joking.

From: You I think you might be holding the ruler the wrong way. 12:31 PM

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From: San🖕 You want a pic for proof? 12:31 PM

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From: You Absolutely not. 12:32 PM

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From: San🖕 All I saw was absolutely 12:32 PM

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From: You If you send me a dick pic, your life ends tonight. 12:33 PM

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From: San🖕 Sounds kinky 😏 12:33 PM

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From: San🖕 You can double check it then 😜 12:33 PM

With a scoff, you shove your phone back into your pocket. When you look up, Mina gives you a weird look with two dresses in her hand.

“You don’t like them?” She asks.

“What? No, San just texted me asking about colors,” you answer, but now that you are studying the dresses, neither of them are actually pretty.

“Oh… Well, I can’t find anything. I want you to have, like, fashionable dresses, but none of them catch my eye.”

“We can go to a different store,” Kyungmi reminds her.

“Yeah, but that would have to be another day, and I don’t know if I can get all of you together again.”

“Are the colors throwing you off?” You question, noticing the dresses in hand are all similar colors.

“Maybe. I have so many colors I like, but I’ve been avoiding the ones I don’t.”

“Then, start looking at those. This store doesn’t have every style in every color in stock.”

“Okay,” Mina pouts, “If any of you find a dress you like, grab it. Maybe one of us can find a good one.”

You abandon the criterion of the theme and solely search for a dress that is pretty, seemingly comfortable, affordable, and not too fitted. A pale blue chiffon dress sticks out among the purple shades on a rack. You lift the hanger off the metal rail and hold it out in front of you. It has an A-line silhouette with a deep v-neckline and pleated skirt. The sleeves are long and have slits to the shoulders. It looks elegant compared to what Mina currently has on hold in the dressing room, but you have a feeling she will think the style is for “old people.” Conservative styles are considered ugly for some reason. God forbid you wear something to feel comfortable. If it has a lot of coverage or is not form-fitting, it’s out of style, or at least in Mina’s opinion. Nonetheless, you carry the dress with you.

After scanning a few more racks, Mina announces across the store, inconsiderate of the other customers, that she’s ready for all of you to try on the several dresses picked out. Unfortunately, you only found one dress, but hopefully, there is a suitable dress among the selected. As you approach the dressing rooms, Mina is checking Sejeong’s and Yoojung’s dresses.

“What dress do you have?” She questions when you stop next to Sejeong.

You hold up the blue dress and study their reactions, which don’t give you much hope. Mina’s face becomes unreadable.

“Is that a mother-of-the-bride dress?” Yujin laughs, and the other younger girls agree with grins.

The attention shifts to Kyungmi, leaving you feeling defeated. You see Sejeong move closer out of the corner of your eye before she whispers in your ear.

“Every time Yujin opens her mouth, the more unlikeable she becomes. I’m trying to be neutral and nice but fuck.”

You nod with wide eyes to emphasize your agreement. Yujin’s attitude toward you has started to sour ever since that day you visited that wedding venue. Any chance she can bring you down she takes. If it’s just jealousy over your interactions with San, you will graciously hand him over to her. Due to circumstances with Mina, you cannot do that, and an obscene part of you does not want him to flirt with her. Also, it is not even your fault; he is the one coming to you. In some weird way, you like his attention although it won’t— can’t go anywhere. It’s better that he hits on you who will not give in.

With everyone holding out their picks, Mina chooses which ones she likes for you to try on. It doesn’t come as a surprise when she tells you that she doesn’t like yours. She also doesn’t like Yujin’s extremely short and fitted dress, stating that she likes it but it’s too sexy for a wedding. An assistant ushers you into separate rooms and heads to grab the dresses in your sizes. The first few dresses are ready inside your dressing rooms, which Mina eagerly encourages all of you to hurry to try them on.

You notice something about the dresses Mina has pulled. They all have a bold and kind of distracting feature, such as ruffles, uncommon fabrics, or shiny sequins. Simple and plain would allow her to shine in her wedding dress. After all, it is hers and Mingi’s day, not anyone else’s.

The lilac dress is… something. It isn’t what you would have guessed her to pick. This is an ugly start to finding bridesmaid dresses. There is no way Mina will like this one actually on all of you. In the mirror of your stall, you smooth your hands over the large ruffles on the bodice, hoping to flatten it a bit, but it doesn’t work. You can see this one maybe on a runway but not for a wedding, specifically Mina’s wedding.

Stepping out of the dressing room, you compare yourself to the others to your right. The dress looks a lot better on Sejeong, Yujin, and Yoojung. Gaze shifting to Kyungmi on your left, you notice she looks just as uncomfortable as you feel. The two of you don’t look like the rest of the girls; they can pull off the tight-fitted dresses. Sejeong has an athletic build, Yujin is blessed with an S-line body shape, and despite her chubby cheeks, Yoojung can’t gain weight easily.

Unfortunately, Mina isn’t picking up on you and Kyungmi radiating distress as she makes heart eyes at the dresses on the other three.

“They look so pretty!” She beams while Sejeong shows her the backside.

You awkwardly adjust the large ruffles and stare at your reflection in the mirror on the wall across from your dressing room.

“These are hideous,” Kyungmi whispers to you, making eye contact with you in the mirror.

Nodding, you peer over at Mina who is now walking over to you with a wide smile.

“You guys look so beautiful!”

A part of you wants to ask her if she’s blind because this dress is in no way flattering. Even with alterations, there is no saving this dress. You’re about to put Mina under citizen’s arrest on behalf of the fashion police for this crime against humanity.

“Get together for a picture!” She waves her hands excitedly as she steps back enough to get all of you in the frame.

The satin fabric feels like it’ll rip easily if you don’t move carefully, which isn’t something you can be mindful of on the wedding day. With the lowest price of all the dresses, it isn’t surprising that the material isn’t sturdy.

Sejeong happens to make eye contact with you when all of you disperse to your rooms and detects your ignored exasperation.

“I don’t think this dress is the right one. It’s flashy and shouldn’t stand out more than your dress,” she tries to reason with Mina, who doesn’t look fully convinced.

After trying on two other dresses Mina found, one made with unbreathable velvet fabric and one sequined dress with a skirt slit that goes up a little too high, you squeeze into the short fit and flare satin dress Yoojung picked out. Just as you finally get the zipper up, Yoojung steps out to show Mina the dress.

“Oh, that doesn’t look good at all,” Mina says and then yells to the rest of you, “Never mind, don’t bother with Yoojung’s dress!”

This irks you. How is it that when a dress does not look good on the more fit bridesmaids, it is no longer an option, but when that happens to you and Kyungmi, it is still considered? With a clenched jaw, you begrudgingly try on the dresses Kyungmi and Sejeong picked. Kyungmi’s is turned down for the busy floral pattern, but Sejeong’s square neck chiffon dress with pockets is a maybe. The pockets are the only reason you like that one.

The last dress is a coral empire dress with off-the-shoulder sleeves. The floor-length chiffon skirt looks prettier when on a person rather than the hanger. You dawdle out of your stall and check out the other bridesmaids.

Out of all the dresses you have tried on, this one looks fairly good on all of you. Obviously, the same style isn’t going to be the best on every body shape in the bridal party, but this might be the best you can find. It’s a pretty color and looks pretty good on you and Kyungmi. At this point, you don’t really care how it looks on the other three.

Yet Mina isn’t so sure about it, saying that it looks like it’s missing something. Before you commit murder, you shuffle back in the dressing room. While changing back into your clothes, you notice you have a text message from San. Mina is rushing all of you up on the other side of the curtain, thus you save it for the ride back to Mina’s apartment to get your car. The other bridesmaids in the same boat chat about the dresses as you discretely open the image he has sent for a better look. 

From: San🖕

IMG_8462.jpg 1:52 PM

Just as you expected, he is, in fact, hot in a suit. You’re going to have to walk down the aisle with a man who should be put in the Met because he is an actual work of art. None of these dresses will help you look even remotely decent next to him. Your mood plummets once again.

From: You Stop texting me. I’m not in the mood to deal with you. 2:04 PM

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From: San🖕 What’s wrong? 2:06 PM

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From: You All the dresses Mina has us try on don’t look good on me. 2:06 PM

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From: San🖕 You don’t need one of those dresses to look good 2:07 PM

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From: San🖕 Or any dress for that matter 😏 2:07 PM

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From: You How would you even know… 2:07 PM

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From: San🖕 I’ve told you I have a good imagination. 2:08 PM

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From: You Keep dreaming. 2:08 PM

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From: San🖕 Dreams can come true, right? 2:09 PM

Your cheeks burn, and you shove your phone back into your jeans. Although you don’t show it, his stupid teasing has made you feel a little better. The compliments tend to your need to be wanted, even if they are lies. You wonder if he does this shit on purpose because he knows what he’s doing, like he has some sixth sense that allows him to see inside your mind. Could he be that emotionally in tune?

You don’t understand how your friends haven’t picked up on your disconnection from the present. It feels like you are drowning but no one sees or hears the splashing. When the time comes to go your separate ways, your negative thoughts don’t leave. If anything, the loneliness makes them worse. They waste your energy, and by the time you decide to start getting ready for bed, you realize how long you have dwelled on them.

As you strip down for a shower, you avoid looking in the mirror. To quell the negativity in your mind, you turn on your favorite playlist. But your attempts to escape your self-hate do not work for long. Maybe you should have hung out with Mark. It would feel better to be temporarily wanted than this soul-sucking feeling of being alone and no one caring. And maybe that is why you always run back to him, knowing he’ll never be yours, and you’ll never be his. No matter how hot the water is, your thoughts of him can’t be burned from your mind; no matter how long you let the spray pelt down on you, they can’t be weathered away.

Scrubbing down your body, you can’t help but wish you looked different. It would be so much easier to find a dress for the wedding… or a dress in general. There are so many things you would love to wear but can’t because you don’t feel confident in them. You have too many worries about how others will see and think of you. It shouldn’t matter what they think, and you know this. But that’s easier said than done. How does anyone not care about other people’s opinions?

The suds rinse off of you and wash away down the drain along with your self-esteem. Insecurities always get the best of you, and you have no one to confide in because no one understands. They only slap a bandaid of vague compliments on your self-inflicted wounds caused by your flaws and unconsciously-created comparisons to other girls.

You stand under the water a little longer trying to push away the negative thoughts, but they only find another thing to fret about. Your mind focuses on Mina’s relationship with Mingi, who completely adores her no matter how she looks. You want that; someone to fawn over you at your best and worst; someone attracted to you always, even when you just wake up with your hair messy and drool on your face; someone to love you unconditionally. But those are just unrealistic expectations, especially for someone your age. Everyone who would do all of that is already taken, and what’s left are those who will never learn to do those things. You should have found someone by now. Who could love you now? You’re going to die alone and-

A loud vibration of your phone on the sink counter rips you out of your self-hate fest, and you scramble to wrap up your shower. Once dried off, you tug on a shirt and pair of panties before returning to your living room. Your mind is momentarily brought back to the present to get you in bed, where you will inevitably be kept up by intrusive thoughts.

As you blow out the candle on your coffee table, there’s a knock at your door. Being a single woman living alone not expecting a visitor, every fear plays through your mind while you tiptoe to the door. You see an irritatingly familiar face through the peephole and reluctantly open the door to find San already smirking. 

“What are you doing here?” You sigh tiredly.

“You seemed sad earlier. I texted you that I was on my way over,” he replies, gently pushing the door further open. Ah, so he’s the reason your phone went off while you were showering.

You don’t stop him from coming inside as you notice the items in his hands.

“You brought flowers?”

“And ice cream.” He chirps, walking backwards to your kitchen with a bouquet and a plastic sack from a convenience store.

“That’s not going to help me look good in any of those dresses.”

“It’s one of those dairy-free, vegan, low-calorie brands.”

Those brands are expensive and hard to find in nearby stores. He really put thought and effort into this. There is no way in hell you’re going to let him see you swoon; he wants you to be putty in his hands. As you follow behind to find a vase for the flowers, you suddenly remember your state of dress and tug at the hem of your long, baggy t-shirt.

“I’m literally not wearing pants. I’ll be right back,” you say, hurrying to your bedroom.

“So?” He responds indifferently, and you’re surprised he doesn’t make a bigger deal out of it. “One less thing I have to take off.”

Never mind, there it is. You rush to pull on a pair of pajama shorts from your dresser and stumble back out into your living room to find him wandering around your apartment with his nose in the air. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, bemused by his behavior.

“It smells like coconuts in here?” He sniffs in different directions.

You chuckle watching him search around your kitchen with his nose. “It’s a wall plugin and some candles”

“Coconut is your favorite scent?”

“One of them, yeah.”

He hums in response as his gaze drifts down your body, “Are you wearing a pair of someone’s boxers?”

Looking at the article you threw on in haste, you notice which shorts you chose. 

“Uh, no, they’re those pajama shorts that are meant to look like ‘your boyfriend’s’ boxers.”

This seems to brighten the light inside his eyes, and a small grin spreads across his face. “You could just borrow mine.”

His words are loaded, which you try to unpack without giving away just how flustered you have become. Is he just being flirty? Does he just want to make your heart jump at the idea of wearing his clothes after you two have fucked? Or the most ridiculous option: does he want you to wear his clothes as a sign of exclusivity? Your overthinking is meaningless because you are not going to let any of them happen, and he has clearly moved on from the conversation.

As you find a vase, you instruct him to the bowls in your cabinets. With the bowls on the counter and the sink faucet filling up the vase, San reads the instructions on the flower food packet that comes with the bouquet. On the opposite side of the kitchen, you dig around for a large spoon. Once the flowers are placed in the water, he returns his attention to you, who is trying to scoop out the ice cream with all your strength. 

Having had enough of watching you struggle, he interrupts, “Let me do it.”

You slide the carton to him with a pout and focus on his hands scooping out the ice cream. The movement of the muscles and veins in his hands is mesmerizing. You wonder what it would be like to have his fingertips running down your body. His biceps also capture your gaze, them flexing with each scoop.

He’s able to serve the treat with ease, and it annoys you that you needed his help. You hate the feeling of depending on someone else; you don’t want to be a burden.

When he finishes, you put the lid back on the container and take it to your refrigerator, mentioning, “I’m putting the tub in the freezer, so don’t forget it when you leave.”

“Keep it. I got it for you,” he shrugs it off.

Your heart does a small flip at his kindness. He has never been one to do this, at least not for you. But you start to realize how little you actually know about him. Aside from the obvious surface level observations, you know nothing about his personal life with exceptions of the random TMI tidbits of his sexual endeavors.

Leading him over to your couch, you bashfully say, “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” His voice is sweet and sincere. He shoots you a smile before digging into his bowl.

“I would have cleaned up if I had known you were coming over,” you say with a mouthful of ice cream, a hand gesturing vaguely to your apartment.

“You’ve seen mine and Mingi’s apartment. This is nothing.”

A silence falls over you for a few moments before he speaks again, this time softer and concerned.

“I’m not intruding on your night, right?”

“No, I literally just got out of the shower and was going to lounge around anyway.”

“Damn, I just missed that?”

You scoff with warm cheeks when he peers up at you with a playful grin. From where you’re sitting, you have a perfect view of his dimple. Despite making a sexually charged joke, he is simply adorable, charming in a different way from his usual flirtatious self.

“Your words sometimes just don’t match how you look.”

He hums inquisitively, having just scooped a spoonful into his mouth.

“You say a lot of bold things while looking pure and innocent.”

“So it’s working,” he nods to himself with a sly little smirk.

“Huh?”

He doesn’t respond and just gazes into your eyes.

“What?” You ask, suddenly self-conscious with a hand coming up to feel for ice cream on your chin.

“Nothing, just getting lost in your eyes.”

Your face scrunches up as you cringe and return your focus to your bowl of ice cream as he laughs.

“You know, my great grandmother used to say that you can tell how someone is in bed by how they eat ice cream.”

You peek up at him in surprise. “What? Your great grandmother said that?”

“Apparently, Nana was wild back in the day. It makes sense though. If they bite it, they’re wild in the sheets. If they eat it quickly, they don’t last very long.”

You glance down at your almost empty bowl, and San’s eyes follow yours.

With a chuckle, he teases, “That’s disappointing, but we can work on that.”

His words lead you down a naughty path of self-indulgence. Your mind begins to fantasize about him crashing his lips into yours and kissing you hungrily while his hands tug at your clothes. You imagine him hoisting you up on a kitchen counter, standing between your legs, and dipping a hand into your shorts. You can almost hear him saying against your lips, “You’re not allowed to come until I say. You need to practice.”

“Have you ever even had a one-night stand?” His question comes out of nowhere, effectively pulling you out of your daydream.

“No, that’s one less problem I’m bringing home,” you answer honestly.

“What do you mean?”

“I get attached,” you reply with an unwavering stare.

A glimmer of guilt comes and goes inside his eyes. He clears his throat and changes the path of the conversation, “Weren’t you seeing someone?”

“Mark? Yeah,” you answer, avoiding his eyes, “But it didn’t really turn into anything. I wanted a relationship, and he didn’t which he didn’t make clear from the beginning. He just wanted a fuck buddy.”

San hums understandingly.

“He asked me earlier if I wanted to go out tonight. I told him I have work early in the morning.”

“Do you?” San asks, worried he’s keeping you up.

“No.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him you don’t want to?”

“He knows how to get me to say yes… It feels like I wasted those two months and every other chance I gave him after.”

“Did you have fun though?” That question could be taken as him prying into your sex life, but the innocent way he asks sounds like he isn’t referring to that at all.

“I guess, but it wasn’t what I wanted. It’s hard to be lonely sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah, but that’s what friends are for.”

“Friends can’t help with everything. I’m not going to call up Mina for sex.”

“You have my number,” he quips with a smirk.

“As if you actually would,” you mutter as you place your bowl on the coffee table.

“There’s only one way to find out,” he says challengingly and laughs when you smack his arm.

After a moment, he adds quietly and innocently, “But if you are lonely, you can always call me.”

An awkwardness creeps up your spine; you’re not quite used to San reaching out his hand to pull you out of your loneliness. He seems genuine, but what if he isn’t serious and just saying it to be nice? You don’t allow yourself to follow that stream of questions.

“So, you didn’t get those dumb ties, did you?” You bring up his earlier shopping excursion, watching him finish his ice cream.

“Yeah, we all got matching bolo ties for the bachelor party.”

“Why are you guys like this?”

“I’m just kidding,” he laughs, his smile reaching his eyes, while stretching over to set his bowl next to yours, “Where’s your bathroom?”

You point to the door to which he enters. In his absence, you rinse the bowls out in the kitchen. Recently, he has been really nice to you, almost too nice. You’re still on the fence about his intentions. Is he doing this to trick you into a false sense of security? Is he doing this because he actually cares about you and your happiness? You really hope it’s the latter.

When the bathroom door opens, he nonchalantly informs you, “You left a toy out in your bathroom.”

Your eyes shoot wide open, and you rush to hide it. Before you reach the threshold of the other room, San adds, “I was just kidding, but nice to know you do have one.”

“You are so annoying.”

“My offer still stands. You have my number,” he says, stepping closer to you. Before you can oppose, his index finger presses against your lips.

“It’s okay; you don’t have to say anything. I know your answer.”

As you swat his hand away, you grumble, “What are you talking about?”

“The eyes say what the mouth won’t.”

“What exactly are my eyes saying?” You humor him for a moment with your arms crossing over your chest.

“You’d prefer me over whatever little toy you have.”

“You haven’t seen it. Who said it’s little?” You raise your brows challengingly. His jaw hangs ajar as his brain tries to process your words.

“You’re right. The eyes do say what the mouth won’t,” you mock and plop back down on your couch.

He sighs, accepting his defeat before changing the subject, “What do the dresses look like that Mina wants?”

“Hang on,” you say grabbing your phone and pulling up the pictures, “This is the one she liked the most.”

It’s a pretty lilac, but it has too many large ruffles to be flattering. While the size was right, the fit was too tight. Not all body types look good in it.

“I can’t see when you’re that far away,” he hints that you should move closer from the other side of the couch.

Reluctantly, you scoot across the cushions and hold your phone right in his face sarcastically. Throwing you a glare, he takes it to get a better look.

“I looked like a busted can of biscuits,” you sigh.

“Stop. No, you don’t.”

You repeat his words in a mocking tone as you pluck your phone from his hand. The next dress you find is the sequin dress; it’s pretty, but not for a wedding. Handing your phone over again, you catch San preoccupied with applying strawberry lip balm. You can faintly smell the fruity scent from being so close.

“Gotta keep them kissable.” He winks, and you roll your eyes.

After putting away the balm, he takes your phone to inspect. As he looks, you note his hair isn’t styled like usual. It looks soft and fluffy tossed across his forehead. He actually looks really cute… and you kind of want to feel how soft his hair really is.

“What’s wrong with this one?” His question pulls you out of your daze.

“The skirt slit goes up too high, and I don’t like the spaghetti straps.”

“It’s sexy,” he says, handing back the phone, “You should send that picture to me.”

“I will not be making a donation to your spank bank.”

He chuckles while you swipe to another dress. A photo of the floral dress you didn’t really like catches your attention.

“Oh, my god. I look old,” you say, zooming in on your face. San enters your personal space to see.

“No, you don’t.”

“I look like someone’s grandmother.”

“There’s nothing wrong with aging. We all do it.” He shrugs, and you lean away to make direct eye contact.

“Says the man who has looked the same for the last four years.”

“Are you calling me ‘baby?’”

“Yeah,” you sarcastically respond.

“I like that pet name,” he grins so closely to your face it’s almost infuriating.

“That’s not-” You stop yourself and sigh because it’s not worth giving him the satisfaction of flustering you when he is already so smug.

“Anyway,” You swipe to the coral dress, “I think this style is the only one that looked okay on all of us, so this is my pick.”

“Why do you keep saying none of the dresses look nice on you? That one is really pretty on you,” he playfully scolds you.

“You’re just saying that because it’s the only one I’ll consider wearing.”

“No, I mean it.”

Before you argue further, something catches your eye on the floor. A fairly big black dot creeps across the rug underneath your coffee table. Out of fear, you squeal throwing your legs onto San’s lap, hands clinging to his arm.

“Whoa, if you wanted to cuddle, you could have just said so,” he chuckles and maneuvers you off of him to get up, “It’s just a spider.”

“I could have died if it bit me,” you yell after him as he grabs a cup from your kitchen. 

“It’s not even a venomous kind.”

You stare at the eight-legged creature making sure it doesn’t get away, and San shoos it into the cup to release it outside.

When he comes back in, you chide him, “Why didn’t you kill it? What if it gets back in here?”

“The worst thing it’ll do is eat bugs.”

You don’t know why it’s so surprising that he doesn’t kill spiders, but it’s kind of cute that he’s too soft to do it.

“Anyways, since you’re going to have a different color dress from the other bridesmaids, you should ask Mina if you can have a different style that suits you,” he continues the previous conversation as he settles back into the cushions next to you.

“I guess I could. There was a dress I liked that I didn’t get to try on because she didn’t like it on the hanger,” you rant, pulling up your text conversation with Mina on your phone to ask, “There was also one that was similar to that last one, but the sleeves had a bit of extra fabric that made it look kind of like a cape. I knew Mina wouldn’t like it, but I thought it was really cute.”

“Are you trying to be a superhero?”

“Maybe…” you shrug, “Or a villain.”

“Sounds accurate.”

“Hey!” You whine and playfully smack his arm.

“My point exactly.”

“Whatever. You’re mean,” you pout and change the subject, “What are you planning for the bachelor party?”

“I don’t know yet. Yunho had some ideas, but we haven’t really talked about it. Do you already have a plan?”

“Yeah, I think we’re going to a vineyard for a wine tasting and then going back to Mina’s for pizza and movies.”

“That’s so boring.”

“Well, Mina isn’t a huge partier, so…”

As your words trail off, your phone vibrates with a text from the aforementioned bride.

“She said she might let us pick our own styles in whatever colors she decides on.”

“See? I told you.”

“Thank god. I could literally kiss you right now.” The words effortlessly come out of your mouth, and a huge smirk spreads across his face.

“Nothing’s stopping you,” he comments, tilting his head to the side and raising that one eyebrow.

“Uh, my sanity.”

“It’s okay to be a little crazy.”

You hate the arrogant way he’s looking at you right now, but you’re also a bit entranced by it. How can he switch from adorable to sexy with a simple tilt of his head? It’s no wonder that he can catch eyes, steal sighs, and cause highs. He knows what he’s doing. He has mastered his angles and uses them to affect your little weak heart. You just want to grab him by his shirt and kiss him.

He has made you feel an array of positive emotions to the point you have almost forgotten about your despairing mood, and you’re extremely grateful for that. In this moment, you realize you haven’t given him the same in return, retaining any positive thought about him to yourself. You know that if you do, he will hold onto every word of it. He’s worried about your happiness while you’ve pretty much neglected his. Swallowing your pride, you decide to give in.

“I didn’t say anything earlier, but… you looked handsome in that tux.”

His hand flings up, and the backside rests against your forehead. “Are you feeling okay? You just gave me a compliment.”

Laughing, you push his hand away. “I can be nice.”

He gazes at you for a moment with a small smile before seemingly snapping out of it and checking his phone.

“I should probably go. It’s getting late.”

“Oh,” you say, watching him stand from the couch, “Well, thank you for…” Your words trail off as you don’t know what to call his sweet gesture.

“Of course,” he beams, and you swear his eyes twinkle as his smile reaches them. It almost makes you forget to breathe.

Begrudgingly, you follow him to your door to see him out.

“Goodnight,” you say and open the door for him.

“It was,” he grins cheekily while exiting your apartment.

Rolling your eyes, you continue, “Be safe.”

“Nah,” he responds, walking away.

“San!”

His cute laugh echoes down the hall, and your heart swells. Why does he have to be so fucking charming? He haunts your thoughts as you lay in bed waiting to fall asleep. You can’t get his stupid, handsome face out of your head. 

After tonight, you know he’s capable of being sweet and, dare you say it, potentially a good boyfriend. You don’t understand what has made him avoid committing to someone because he would be such a caring partner. If he was like this all the time, you would fall so hard for him. A part of you really wants him to surprise you like that again. You want to be the center of his affection. He would never do that for very long though.

But what if…

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 9

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 9

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language.

Words: ~2000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8

Part 9

The smile on your face was stiff and insincere as Marcus Boyd walked you back to your car. As much as you loathed the asshole, you needed him and that meant paying him a personal visit in his home in Connecticut. He was a very successful defense lawyer, on his way to becoming a managing partner in a prestigious New York law firm in a few years. Because of his career, he had access to many seedy characters which is what you were here to leverage. You needed an unregistered gun, and he had connections who could provide you one. If that meant putting up with him for an hour, you were willing to do it.

“Y/N,” he said with a slick smile, standing next to you as you unlocked your car door. “It was wonderful to see you again.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you replied. “It never is. But we do what we have to, right?”

His eyes narrowed, shifting to something menacing. “I forgot how tactless you can be.”

You gave him a mocking smile. “Here’s hoping you won’t have to see me again soon.”

“Next time you need something, don’t come to me,” he warned.

“Same goes for you.” You leveled him with a cold look. “When can I expect a call?”

“A few days.”

“Fine.” You got into your car and shut the door, feeling relieved at no longer being around the slimy bastard.

Marcus was someone you met at college in your first year. He was a rich entitled sophomore, about to flunk out. You were good at hacking into things, and had managed to get your hands on a few exams Marcus desperately needed to pass. That was the beginning of your partnership with him. You helped him graduate and he paid you a lot of money in return. Thanks to him and his friends, you were able to get your degree with minimal student loans. Although the two of you despised each other, the threat of mutual destruction meant you trusted him to keep your search for a registered gun to himself and he trusted you not to spill his secrets.

You started driving back into the city, your mind focused on the road ahead when your phone pinged. You glanced down. An unknown number was calling you. If it was like the other anonymous calls you received, they would call you a fucking bitch as soon as you picked up and hang up on you. You had no doubt that it was Adam calling, considering the calls started after he was released, which only proved how unhinged he was. A smarter man would have been on his best behaviour when out on bail but he was so filled with rage he didn’t even bother to temper his actions. You had already reached out to the prosecutor and informed them of the calls, but you doubted it would lead to anything. Most likely Adam was using disposable phones, which meant there was no direct proof he was the one making the calls. You were scared, of course you were, which was why you’d reached out to Marcus even though you didn’t like the prick. It’s not like you could rely on Trevor, the bodyguard Roger had assigned to keep you safe. He was lazy and not very bright, and even if he was good at what he did Valiant wouldn’t be paying for your protection indefinitely. All of that meant you had to take this matter into your own hands. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was the only way for you to feel safe again.

Your thoughts turned to Billy, something you actively tried to avoid, but there wasn’t anything else to distract your mind away from him. It had been a week since you blocked him, and as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. He’d been a part of your life for almost a year and you really enjoyed his company before things got messy between you two. If you hadn’t developed feelings for him and then caught him on a date with Dinah Madani, you guys would probably still be sleeping together – but you did, and seeing him with someone like her made it crystal clear his lack of feelings for you. The truth hurt like hell, but you’d get over it. You were a realist after all. You knew he was out of your league and there was nothing you could do to make Billy want you.

The speaker on your car piped up with a message notification. It was a text from Davina, reminding you of the girls night out planned for tomorrow night. It was a mutual friend’s birthday and the plan was for all of you to go to a new club that recently opened. You were looking forward to it, mostly as it would keep your mind off Adam but also because you were hoping to go out and meet someone new. No doubt Billy had already found someone else to fill your spot on his weekly rotation but you weren’t built like him and needed time to process your lingering feelings. You still weren’t over him, but you were ready to move on.

Now you just needed to get back home and come up with a reason as to how you lost your bodyguard in case Roger asked. Somehow, though, you doubted Trevor would willingly tell Roger about you disappearing for a few hours so you weren’t too worried. No one knew about your connection with Marcus and you intended to keep it that way.

***

The next evening you, Davina, and a few others were at Pravda, a new club downtown, to celebrate your friend Kiran’s birthday. You were wearing a low-cut black jumpsuit paired with silver stilettos, while your lips were painted maroon. Choosing to keep focus on the lips, you had ensured the rest of your make-up was light and dewy which went well with your straightened hair. It had taken a lot of double-sided tape to make sure your breasts were in check in your outfit but it was worth the effort. You felt like a proper goddess tonight, surrounded by your beautiful friends at a private table in the VIP lounge.

An hour later you were buzzed, giggling and laughing as you and a few others headed back to the private booth from the dance floor. After dancing up a storm, you guys were all parched and desperate for a drink. Davina was holding your hand as she led you through the crowds but you knew something was wrong when she stopped unexpectedly. You thought you heard her swear but you couldn’t be sure due to the loud music.

“What’s-” The words died in your mouth when you realized what Davina was staring at. Billy fucking Russo, sitting at your table, chatting it up with Kiran who was sitting next to him. The moment you saw them, you felt red-hot anger flood over you. While Kiran was a good friend, she wasn’t someone you confided in. She had no idea you’d been sleeping with Billy so you didn’t blame her for flirting with him. But Billy, god you hated him! There was no way his showing up at the same club as you was a co-incidence, which meant he was purposely here to flirt with your friends. To hurt you.

“Want to leave?” Davina asked, looking at you with concern.

“No, it’s fine,” you replied in a clipped tone.

“Are you sure?”

“He’s here because he wants to piss me off.”

“I thought you said he was cool about the break-up.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Thought he was.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

You didn’t answer, instead taking the lead to walk past her. You returned to your seat across from where he and Kiran were sitting. Davina came to sit beside you. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as his molten eyes trailed down to your breasts, lingering on you. Dressed in a simple grey t-shirt, designer no doubt, and a pair of black trousers and open leather jacket, he looked absolutely beautiful with his perfectly styled hair and trimmed beard.

“Hey guys, this is Billy,” Kiran greeted, eyeing him appreciatively. “He ordered us more champagne. Isn’t that so nice of him?”

On the table in front of you was an expensive bottle, chilling in ice. You quirked your eyebrow. Apparently Billy was in the mood to splurge on your friends. “That’s nice of him,” you remarked noncommittally.

“Billy, this is Davina and Y/N,” Kiran said.

His eyes were locked with yours, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Oh, I know Y/N very well.”

Kiran turned to look at you. “You do?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Through work.”

Billy leaned forward, his smoldering gaze holding you hostage. “Y/N and I are very good friends.”

“Acquaintances,” you corrected.

As if sensing the tension in the air, Kiran pulled away from Billy. Meanwhile, he picked up the bottle of champagne and started pouring the liquid in the empty glasses in front of him. “You’re giving Kiran the wrong idea about us, Y/N. She might think you don’t like me very much.”

“She’d be right,” you snarked, ignoring the glass of champagne he held out for you.

“I’ll take that,” Davina replied, snatching the glass from his hands.

Your friends were suddenly talking all at once but all you could focus on was Billy’s heated gaze on you. With every second that passed his eyes on you seemed to grow more wanton and lustful, and desire coursed through your blood at how he looked at you. You wanted him so badly you cold feel yourself getting wet, and you realized you needed to get out of there right away.

“I’m going to get a drink,” you whispered in Davina’s ear, making sure Billy didn’t hear you.

“Want me to come with you?”

“No. I’ll be fine.” You stood up quickly and made your way out of there, keenly aware of Billy’s eyes boring into your back.

Few minutes later you were sitting at one of the corner bar downstairs. This floor had a different ambience than the club upstairs, which you appreciated. The music wasn’t as loud and you found yourself enjoying the lounge vibe. It wasn’t long before someone crept up next to you at the bar and you turned to find a familiar face smiling back at you.

His name was Avi and you’d run into him a few times at the conferences you’d gone to. Broad-shouldered and husky, you’d always found him attractive in an adorable way.

“You just look…” he gave you a shy smile. “Wow.”

Seeing his reaction to you, you smiled. “Thank you.”

“I’ve always wanted to approach you but I didn’t want to come across as a creep, you know?” he explained. “You can also be very intimidating.”

That made you laugh. “I doubt that.”

As Avi and you continued to talk, you couldn’t help but enjoy how he was gawking at you. You didn’t fit society’s mould for what was considered beautiful, so all of your past flings were a result of the guys getting to know you and finding you hot because of your personality. It was rare when a guy you were attracted to was also into you right away but that seemed to be the case with Avi. You didn’t have to charm or work for him to find you hot. Instead, he was genuinely enamored with how you looked which was refreshing.

His phone rang with a text notification. Scanning through the message, he flashed you an apologetic glance. “Shit. I have to go.”

Disappointed, you pouted your lips. “That’s too bad.”

“Would you want to go out sometime?” he asked shyly.

“I’d like that.” You reached for your phone and scrolled through to the contacts app to add his name before handing the phone to him. “Add your number.”

After you said your goodbyes, you ordered your third gin and tonic and were enjoying your drink at the bar when someone grazed up against you. Seated on a high bar stool, you were expecting Davina to have come looking for you. Instead, you found Billy sidling up to you. He looked pissed off and angrier than you’d ever seen him.  

“Give me your phone,” he barked.

“Go to hell.”

Unexpectedly he gripped your stool and pulled you closer, throwing you off so you were forced to hold on to him for regain your balance. He perched his foot up on the bottom ledge of the stool, closing you in fully. “Unblock me now.”

‘Go fuck yourself.”

His dark eyes seemed to suddenly grow even darker, more monster than human. “Who was that guy you were talking to?”

“My future boyfriend.”

Billy’s lips curved into a sneer. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”

“Why don’t you go back to flirting with my friend and leave me the fuck alone?”

“She was flirting. I wasn’t.”

“I don’t care. Go sleep with whoever you want, and I’ll do the same.”

Billy simply stared at you for a beat, his jaw clenched. “You’re not fucking anyone else.”

Sitting up straight, you leveled him with a hostile look. “I just met someone who was nice, sweet, and really fucking cute. And he wasn’t an asshole like you. Trust me, I will fuck him. I might even suck him off here tonight if he plays his cards right. And there isn’t a single thing you can do to stop that.”

He dipped his head towards you, leaning in closer so you were the only one who could hear him. His voice may have been flat, but his words were laced with cold fury when he spoke next. “If he touches you, he’s dead. I’ll start with his hands. I’ll break his fingers one by one for daring to touch you. Next I’ll cut off his dick, his balls, other parts of him slowly, carefully, so he feels every inch of the excruciating pain I’ll put him through. I’ll fill him with adrenaline so he doesn’t pass out from the pain. I’ll gouge out his eyes last because he needs to see that I’m the one who turned him into a mutilated lump of flesh. And then maybe, if I’m feeling nice, I might slit his throat to end his suffering.” His eyes never leaving yours, he reached for your drink at the bar and chugged it.

“You’re a fucking psychopath,” you said, your throat suddenly parched. Your heart was beating rapidly, your stomach coiled into knots. Fear should have flooded over you -  it didn’t. Instead, you were aroused.

“No one takes what’s mine.”

“I’m not your fucking possession. You don’t own me.” You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths as your emotions – and the walls – started to all swirl together. Like always, just when you thought he might have cared enough to admit he was jealous, he showed his true colours. Billy’s anger had nothing to do with his feelings for you. Rather, it was about his ego. Shit. You felt dizzy, the drinks had started to hit you. “Why don’t you go bother Dinah and her new man? Didn’t you say she was seeing someone else? Go pull your psychopath routine on them.”

He tucked his finger under your chin, lifting your face up to meet his gaze again. The emotions in his eyes played havoc with your senses as he pressed in closer, so close you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

“I don’t care who Dinah dates or fucks.”

The air was thick with tension.  It felt as if there was no one else in the bar but you and Billy, his one hand under your chin, the other pressed against the small of your back. You felt heady and light-headed with anticipation and desire, but you were also angry. Angry that you still wanted him, that he wouldn’t give you space to get over him. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”

His fingers gripped the side of your face, and you exhaled a sharp breath when he grazed your forehead with his. Temples touching, his eyes held you transfixed in place.  “Because you’re mine.” The possessiveness in his voice was unsettling, but it was the way he was staring at you – as if he could see right through to your core – that made your stomach flip-flop. “Mine.” His thumb swiped along your bottom lip, as if marking you as his. “And I’m yours.”

Billy was a player, an asshole, and there was comfort in that because it meant you knew where you stood with him, but now he was defying expectations, crossing the boundaries you’d carefully set for yourself, and you weren’t ready for that. None of that mattered, however, because you were suddenly feeling really, really sick.  “I have to go,” you mumbled. The room was spinning as you tried to jump off the chair but your knees almost gave way. Billy was there to catch you in his arms, holding you up.

“Woah, you okay?”

You pushed him off and ran.

Part 10

A/N - As always, thank you for the support, the feedback, the likes/reblogs, and the asks. I’m stoked to keep writing this because of you guys. Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter!

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[buckysglow]

Captive

Chapter 12 - “Deserving”

SUMMARY: You were held captive by Hydra for years and had only just escaped when the Avengers find you. You’re beyond terrified of everyone and everything around you, but the thing the terrifies you the most is yourself. The things you can do with your abilities are beyond what anyone could possibly imagine.

Chapters: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9a ~ 9b ~ 10 ~ 11 

AN: Christmas in May, anyone? Sorry this took so long, I just graduated from college! Also, I posted before and asked if you guys prefer to read fics on Wattpad or AO3, and I would love to have your input on that! I am trying to figure out which one I should post my fics on! 

Word Count: Around 5000 

Warnings: Mention of abuse and fluffy fluff 

You tugged Bucky’s large shirt farther down your legs, tip-toeing down the hall before dawn. It would be Christmas in just a few hours and you had to make sure everything was perfect for the team. You had gotten a little creative with your presents, seeing as you didn’t have money of your own and didn’t know much about earning it. You were thankful that most of the team had hobbies of their own and made it much easier for you to find the supplies you needed to make homemade gifts. You worked very hard on their gifts. 

Being what Bucky called “gifted,” you could feel the change in energy in each and every one of your friends. They rarely slept, but when they did, they were so exhausted that their eyes felt heavier than any weights they had lifted that day. And usually their nights were filled with restlessness, tossing and turning, and fighting the covers that were hands in their dreams. Their energy took on a light glow while they slept, one that pulsed with every beat of their heart. Their dreams sometimes became more and more unbearable, as those imaginary hands became their own and they were grasping the neck of another person. Uncontainable, unmanageable guilt became the burden of the night. And you only knew that because that’s what kept you awake; it’s also what kept Bucky awake.

“Everyone has their own shit.” He told you after waking up with a start one night, drenched in sweat. It was usually him comforting you, but this time it was the other way around. He was embarrassed; his dreams made him feel weak and powerless. That’s why you had chosen a dream catcher for him; it would catch those dreams and spirits that kept him awake. 

You had been preparing for this for quite some time now, hiding the supplies you needed in your room, under your bed. You glanced at the newly decorated Christmas tree and smiled. When you were younger, your mom would decorate the whole house with you, and it was one of your favorite things in the world. She could be so kind and loving when she wanted. You smiled at one of the few good memories you had, especially ones with her. While she may have been cruel to you at times, she also had her fun moments. That’s what made hating her or resenting her so difficult. 

While you were being held by Hydra, those were the moments that you thought about most. They are the things you dreamed of experiencing again. This just added even more complicated thoughts to your already spinning mind while you were with those evil men… to leave one abusive home for another. 

You shook your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You had work to do. The team was in for a treat. You had been preparing and practicing, not only for the decorations, but for another special surprise. You wouldn’t be able to do it for long, so the timing had to be perfect. 

“Friday,” you whispered, “what time does everyone typically wake up?” 

She ran through everyone’s schedules quickly and you nodded. 

“How many of them use alarm clocks?” You asked, praying that she would say all of them. 

“Sam.” 

You cringed at that answer. “Alright, I’ll think of something…” You made quick work of the decorations, running as quietly as you could from one room to another. When you finished, you stepped back to admire your work. 

Paper snowflakes hung from all over the ceiling, the tree was packed with colorful or shiny items, a copious amount of cotton balls had been stretched and torn to look like snow in various places around the tower, Christmas lights hung, and paper trees placed on shelves and tables. You grinned. It was so pretty. You began to jump on your heels slightly, excited for everyone to be awake. You had about two hours to finish up before they all started stirring. All you had to do was put the finishing touches on their gifts and place them under the tree. 

You sprinted to your room, sweating from the amount of effort this was taking. You froze when you felt Natasha stir in her bed. She was the one you were most worried about waking. If she even felt a slight disturbance, she would immediately be out of bed to find out what was happening. You squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on her energy. You willed her to stay asleep, praying that she hadn’t heard you. You felt her relax, and your heart eased its rapid beating. 

You gathered as many of their gifts as you could in your hands and brought them out by the tree. You rushed to place them under the tree nicely. You had begun to feel some of them awaken and you rushed to turn the Christmas lights on. You added last minute touches to the decorations, and finally you asked Friday to play Christmas music. 

You felt Bucky begin to stir then. Your heart began to beat a little faster in your chest with nervous excitement. You couldn’t wait to see their reactions, but you were nervous that they wouldn’t like it. You hoped this would be enough. You wanted to make your first Christmas with them special. You wanted them to know that you were beginning to feel comfortable and loved when you were with them. 

“Friday, can you turn the volume up please?” You asked quietly, toes wiggling in your worn slippers. Natasha was the first one out of bed, followed by Steve and Bucky. You could feel them move from their beds and see their energy begin to pulse a little brighter. You were grinning as you felt Tony begin to stir. 

When you felt them all leave their rooms, you were nearly exploding with excitement. They were making their way toward the common area, most likely heading for the kitchen for breakfast and coffee. Bucky was falling a little behind the rest, and you were quick to send more energy toward him. 

When they had all finally made their way down the hall and into the common area, you were quick to grin at them, “Merry Christmas!” 

Their eyes were wide with shock as they took in the decorations and lights. Steve’s smile was growing and Natasha was leaning against the door frame with a small smirk on her lips. Bucky was staring at the ceiling, a look of amazement on his face. 

“When did you do all of this?” Steve asked, hand running over the snow you had made from cotton balls. 

“Last night! Do you like it?” You asked, feeling breathless. 

“This is so pretty, (Y/N)!” Wanda exclaimed, pulling you in for a hug. 

“Just promise me you’re gonna clean all this up when Christmas is over,” Tony stated dramatically. He suddenly seemed to notice the tree, “Gifts, huh?”

Sam elbowed him hard, silently telling him to shut up. He gestured in your direction. You were grinning so wide your cheeks hurt. You pulled away from Wanda, hopping on the balls of your feet a bit. You threw yourself into Bucky’s arms and hugged him tightly, barely able to contain your excitement. “Yes, um- I have gifts for you all, but do you want to eat first?” You clasped your hands in front of you and hopped in front of the kitchen, knowing that they would all want their morning coffee. 

“I could use some coffee,” Natasha smiled. She wrapped her arm around your shoulders, “Merry Christmas. You did an amazing job.” 

“Did you happen to make breakfast? That would have been nice instead of you making a mess,” Tony asked in his typical tone, sauntering into the kitchen. You just rolled your eyes, sticking your tongue out at him. The rest of the team followed, leaving you and Bucky behind.

You turned to look at Bucky, meeting his unwavering gaze. “Merry Christmas,” you breathed, you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Do you like it?” 

He made his way toward you slowly, tilting your head with his finger, his lips lingered against your forehead, “You are amazing…” 

Once everyone had eaten, you were all gathered in the common area. Christmas movies were playing on the large screen, but the volume was low as you all talked happily with one another. You were seated on the floor between Wanda and Bucky’s legs. Natasha sat on the floor across from you. Steve was laughing about something Sam had said, fingers playing with one of the toy motorcycles hanging on the tree. Sam was seated on the arm of the loveseat that Tony had sprawled out in. You looked at each of them, a content smile on your face. 

This was the first time since you were young that you had felt accepted. There would always be worms of doubt in your head, but for now, they were under control. They were not slinking their way into the moment. Your fingers brushed against Bucky’s calf and he looked down at you, only to find you grinning up at him. He leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

There was wrapping paper and bows sprawled across the floor from their gifts. You had loved watching their eyes light up with warmth and happiness, and you felt a little bit of the weight you carried on your shoulders fall away. Natasha was wiggling her fingers in the mittens you made her, which made you smile and giggle. 

“When I go to visit Clint, I’ll bring them the gifts,” she had told you when you pointed out that you made him and his family gifts as well. 

“He said he wants to FaceTime later, so he can see them then.” Wanda interjected, smiling mischievously. They all had their own plans and gifts for you as well, but you had no idea. 

You didn’t seem to care about receiving anything at all. “I made Thor something as well, but he will have to wait,” you giggled, thinking about how excited he would be to get the tiny hammer you had painted to look like mjolnir. 

“So what you’re saying is that you stole from me.” Tony said sarcastically.

“Didn’t steal, I just borrowed... in a sense.” You giggled. 

The team revealed that they hadn’t received a handmade gift in years and that they loved them. Each of them was playing with their gifts or wearing them. A moment of silence wrapped around everyone as they peered down at their gifts. 

“I know it’s not much, and you’re all probably used to nicer things, but I hope you like them.” You said, sheepishly peering at your acquired family. 

“We love them!” Wanda assured you. 

“These are so much better than any gifts you could have bought us, (Y/N).” Natasha nodded. 

“Even though you stole most of the stuff that you used,” Tony said, pulling his glasses down slightly, “you did good, kid.” 

“Good,” you breathed a sigh of relief. You stood up slowly, pulling the ends of your shirt nervously, “I have one more surprise for you all.” 

You carefully made your way to the doorway, standing behind the couch that Bucky and Wanda were sitting on. Everyone was watching you with questioning eyes, wondering what else you could have possibly made for them. “It might take a try or two, but I have been practicing this since my little incident a few weeks ago.” You admitted timidly. 

Your heart was thudding hard in your chest, nerves making their way up your throat. You took a deep breath to steady yourself, and closed your eyes. You pictured gold, soft and twinkling, dancing in the sky. You imagined a gentle, gold glow and shimmers of it. You slowly opened your eyes. The team was staring upward, mouths agape and eyes awed. Tony pulled his glasses from his face, mouth open in amazement.

A golden, glowing river flowed above them. Shimmers and flecks of gold rained down slowly, twinkling brightly. Your typical ribbons were moving slowly, wrapping themselves into loose coils. You pushed yourself a little harder, motivated by the childlike wonder on your family’s faces. You conjured up tiny horses and faceless people, some ice skating, others dancing or playing in the golden snow in the space above your heads. 

“Wow,” you heard Steve whisper in amazement. You smiled, watching the team closely with their soft and content faces. You loved making others happy. Your eyes flickered over to Bucky, and one of the ice skaters made their way to him. They spun gracefully in front of his nose. His smile was unforgettable. 

But soon, you could feel your energy dimming, so you gave one last push. The gold above burst silently into thousands of golden flecks, hanging in the air for a second, and then lazily falling down onto the team. Sweat had collected on your upper lip from the amount of effort it took, and finally, you felt your energy give way. 

The gold came flying back into your chest. You blew out a breath, hands shaking with exhaustion. The team looked over at you, smiles still on their faces. Subconsciously, you were aware that they didn’t look scared of your white eyes. You were smiling at them, proud of yourself for succeeding. You accomplished more than you thought you would have. Even if it was only for a minute or two, you had held it longer and made more images at one time than you ever had before. 

“That was the coolest thing I have ever seen,” Sam muttered, mostly to himself, but the team was nodding in agreement. 

“The little snowballs?” Steve asked, leaning over to him. 

“The coolest!” Sam exclaimed. 

You gave an airy laugh, feeling a little lightheaded. Bucky was at your side immediately, leading you to the couch. 

“That was pretty badass, goldy locks! I thought you could only do that when you were scared!” Tony declared, looking a little stunned. 

“I’ve been practicing in my room… far away from people, so…” you laughed lightly. Natasha was still looking upward, a dreamy look in her eyes. Her face was relaxed, in a faraway place. Wanda grasped your arm with excitement, 

“Can you show me how to do that? I’ve never made images with mine!”

You giggled weakly, “I can try. I’m not quite sure how I do it, I just picture it in my head.”

“That was amazing, Doll,” Bucky whispered, lips grazing your ear. 

“Thank you,” you sighed, snuggling deeper into the couch next to him. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He said quietly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You hummed happily in response, a tired smile on your lips. “That didn’t hurt you?” He asked quietly. The others were still talking about their favorite parts of your show. 

You shook your head, taking a deep breath and continuing, “It did in the beginning, but after a while the pain just… went away.” 

He nodded, kissing your temple, “Take a nap. We will be here when you wake up.” And as you started to doze off, you heard Bucky laugh and say, “But did you see the ice skater in front of my face?” 

~

“Wake her up; I can’t wait any longer to give her our gifts!” You heard Wanda exclaim.

You suddenly felt cold, metallic fingers glide over your cheek, and your eyes fluttered. “Good morning, sleepyhead!” Sam exclaimed, sitting opposite of you behind the coffee table. The coffee table had gifts strewn all over it and your eyes widened slightly. 

You looked around the room in question, “Those… are those for me?” 

Steve tilted his head, while Natasha nodded at you, a soft smile gracing her face. Bucky was grinning widely beside you. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” you whispered, shaking your head in disbelief, nervously tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Open mine first; you’re going to like it more than the others!” Tony teased, throwing a wink your way. 

Natasha rolled her eyes at Tony, “We wanted to do this, trust me.” 

“The bigger one is mine,” Tony pushed, ignoring the sappy moment you were having. You laughed and proceeded to open the array of gifts around you. You were surprised with each one, not expecting such generosity from them. Tony had gotten you a laptop and a phone because you “were behind the times.” Wanda had given you a gift card to a clothing boutique downtown, saying that she was going to take you shopping before the New Years party; this excited and terrified you at the same time. Natasha bought you adorable cow slippers after finding out that your favorite animals were cows. You immediately put them on and were repeatedly wiggling your toes in them. Steve and Sam gave you yellow boxing gloves and said that the matching punching bag was in the training room—it was even bedazzled at the bottom. 

You couldn’t stop smiling. In fact, your face hurt from smiling and laughing so much. 

“Clint’s calling!” Wanda exclaimed, placing her phone on the coffee table. She pressed the green button and up popped his face. 

“That is so cool,” you whispered to Bucky, amazed at how quickly technology has changed. 

“Gets me everytime,” he whispered back, planting a kiss on your cheek. 

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Clint exclaimed, his wife and children popping up to say hi. You grinned and waved back. “Hope I didn’t miss anything,” Clint said. 

“Just in time,” Wanda assured him. 

“Clint,” you started softly, “I made you and your family gifts; they’re not much, but—“

“They’re amazing, look!” Natasha interrupted you, turning the phone to show him the gifts you had made them. 

“They’re gonna love the bears!” You heard Clint’s wife exclaim. “Thank you, (Y/N), we love them!” 

“My turn to give you something though.” Clint said, and Natasha placed the phone back to face you. Everyone began to smile softly, knowing that Clint had worked hard to pull this one off. “After hearing about your grades and that you didn’t get to go to graduation, I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” he explained, fiddling with his phone. Tony was quick to pull out his own and began swiping. You chewed the inside of your cheek, nerves growing as he continued to talk, “You worked so hard to fit in and I know that’s not easy, so I wanted to do this for you.” Tony swiped one last time, and an image of a high school diploma popped up above your head. 

Your eyebrows drew together as you read the name of your school and a loud gasp burst through your lips. “That says my name!” You exclaimed, standing up to read it closely. 

“I talked to your school and the school board, and had some people pull some strings,” Clint explained.

“It’s me. I’m some people,” Tony smiled cockily.

You covered your mouth in shock as you read your name over and over again. “You deserved this and so much more, kid,” Clint said softly. When he had heard what your mother did and that your chance to graduate was ripped from you as a teenager, he knew he had to do this for you. He pictured his own kids, and how proud he would be if they had achieved what you had. He had to do this for you. 

Your bottom lip began to wobble, and you took a deep breath to keep them from falling.“I can’t begin to explain how much this means to me,” you whispered, voice cracking, “thank you so much.” 

Clint smiled at you and his wife hugged him closer. She knew how much this meant to him and had helped him talk to your school board. 

“I wish you were here so that I could hug you,” you laughed lightly, wiping away the stray tears that fell. 

“You’ll see me soon, kid!” He laughed, loving that you were looking so happy.

 “We have one more gift for you,” Steve said softly, “We’ve all talked it over, and decided that we think you’re ready.” Wanda grabbed your hand and smiled brightly at you, pulling you to sit back down next to her. You really couldn’t think of anything better than the gifts you had received so far. 

“We are going to wait until after Tony’s New Years Eve party, but we think we should take you back to your hometown for a weekend.” The tears were immediate and fast paced. You buried your face in the sleeves of Bucky’s sweatshirt in an attempt to hide them. 

“It’s up to you if you want to go, but we think you should visit,” Natasha whispered, pressing a comforting hand to your knee. 

“I-I’m a li-little overwhelmed,” you blubbered, with a loud laugh. The team was quick to respond with their own quiet laughter. “I w-wanna show you guys my favorite book store!” You giggled, and this made them all laugh a little louder, “thank you all so much, I wish I could repay you for everything, for saving me… I just- I promise I will!” 

“Aw, goldy locks!” Tony exclaimed, “I’ll take you up on that one day! For now, just try not to stab any of us with those gold things!”

 You ripped your hands from your face to see that your fingertips were glowing brightly. Your eyes widened at the realization that your chest didn’t hurt. You held your hand out, watching as it shook with your emotions, but not with pain or agony. “It doesn’t hurt,” you whispered, sounding amazed. 

“What?” Bucky asked you, leaning closer to hear what you had said. 

“It doesn’t hurt… I didn’t know I was doing it and it didn’t hurt,” you stated, looking at him with wide eyes. You looked back at your hands, holding both of them out in front of you, pressing your energy forward slightly, testing the waters. Ribbons wrapped themselves around your fingers, moving slowly, looking like snakes as they made their way to the ground. You were so overwhelmed with emotions—joy, relief, happiness, disbelief— were you finally free from the agony? What had changed? Was it that you finally felt loved? Your lips twitched with a shaky smile. Bucky made eye contact with Steve, and the two of them were so proud of how far you had come in the short, few months you had been with them. 

Careful, that evil voice spoke in the back of your head, don’t get too cocky now. You don’t want to lose control.

You gasped, letting out a quiet yelp. Your energy shot violently back into your body and you wheezed at the suddenness of it all. 

“Whoa,” Bucky cooed, grasping your shoulders to steady you, “you’re alright, you’re fine.” 

“S-sorry,” you stuttered breathlessly, “I got nervous.” 

“You’ve pushed yourself quite a bit today,” Wanda assured you softly, after peeking inside your thoughts for a split second. 

You sat back into Bucky’s chest, nodding absentmindedly. 

“Yeah, I think that’s enough of the golden light show,” Tony stated, grasping Wanda’s phone, “not that we don’t love to see what you can do because what you did earlier was amazing, and Barton missed it all!” He pointed and laughed sarcastically. 

“It was pretty cool, Barton!” Natasha agreed, smirking at the phone. 

“What? What did I miss?” He cried, making you giggle and shake your head at their teasing. 

~

After the team had opened all their gifts and dispersed to relax or prepare for the night ahead, you were left alone with Bucky. 

“Hey, Doll,” he cooed against your forehead, loving the sleepy look on your face. You hummed a response. Your head was buried in his chest, breathing in his comforting smell. His body was humming with soft energy, causing you to relax even deeper into his side. “I got you a gift,” he whispered.

You looked up at him, secretly reveling in the fact that he remembered to get you something. You were a little disappointed earlier when you hadn’t received anything from him, of all people. Not that it was about the gift, but the thought behind it. You had believed, for just a moment, that he had forgotten to get you something. 

“Oh, yeah?” You grinned, inching closer to his face. He grinned right back before reaching behind the couch and pulling out a small box. “Oh, Bucky, no…” you pouted, knowing full well that it was jewelry, based on the box alone. 

“Just open it,” he chuckled, pushing it into your hands. 

“I can’t accept this,” you objected weakly, smiling at him as you pushed it back at him. 

“You haven’t even opened it yet!” He laughed, removing his hands completely from the box to force you to catch it.

 You bit the inside of your cheek nervously as you lifted the lid of the box to reveal a garnet ring. It was encased in a gold cage and placed nicely on top of a golden band. You looked up at him with pure bliss. “It’s a garnet,” you whispered happily, fingers running over the gem. 

“It is,” he nodded, moving your hair away from your neck, “I- um- I did a lot of research and garnets are known as the stone of courage, and they are worn to guard against danger… and they are also supposed to help with the - um- heart and blood and stuff… Plus, I wanted to get you your own ring, so that you wouldn’t have to keep borrowing Wanda’s.” He was mumbling nervously now, unsure about his gift now that it was being opened. 

You grinned up at him, “I love it, Bucky, thank you. This is too much.”

A sigh of relief whooshed past his lips, but he was quick to replace it with his mock confidence. You adored that he had put so much thought into it for you, knowing that it was no coincidence that it was this particular stone. “I hope you don’t think it’s weird that I got you something so…” he mumbled again, watching as you removed Wanda’s ring from your small finger, and replaced it with his.

 “No,” you shook your head, “I don’t think it’s weird. I actually think it’s very sweet.” 

The two of you fell into a tense silence, and you both found that nerves had settled in your stomachs. You bit your lip and glanced at Bucky quickly. His eyebrows were scrunched together in concentration. His eyes looked far away. You tilted your head to the side, looking at him curiously.

“You okay?” You asked quietly, unsure what was happening. 

“Yeah...yes, I just have to do something,” he rushed out, startling you. 

His hands were quick to encase your face. 

He pulled you forward in one motion, and his lips found yours. You jumped instinctively, but as soon as your brain caught up with your body, your lips were moving in perfect sync with his. His hands found their way to the back of your head, tangling his fingers at your roots. Your shaky hands were taking their time to find his bearded face, and you sighed into his mouth. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to remember how many times you had imagined this moment with him, but every time you had, you pictured yourself being a nervous mess. This time, though, you found yourself more comforted by his lips than anything. You hadn’t realized how badly you needed this from him. He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath.

“I have been wanting to do that for so long,” He whispered, lips grazing your nose. You hummed, eyes still closed. There was a sense of comfort that you had never experienced before, and while your heart raced in your ears, it wasn’t from fear, but from excitement. “I hope that was okay,” He whispered, his metal hand moving the strand of hair that fell in your face. 

You nodded, eyes fluttering open to look at him, “It was more than okay.” 

This was a first for you. A first of feeling this heart wrenching excitement, and your first kiss. You didn’t know if you should tell him, but before you could stop yourself, you pressed another kiss to his lips. “That was my, um— that was my first...“

Bucky’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as he looked over your features. His eyes suddenly went wide, “That was your first kiss?” He grabbed your tiny hands in his. 

The side of your mouth quirked, and you shyly looked down at your joined hands, nodding. 

“Oh, baby,” He murmured, pulling you closer to him. You couldn’t tell if there was pity or admiration in his eyes, but you couldn’t get yourself to feel anything other than overwhelming elation. “I can’t wait to show you how much more there is to life than the inside of a cell… if you let me…” 

You smiled up at him, big and wide. You couldn’t wait either. 

@jamesfrickingbuchananbarnes @multi-fan @krugeforeveryone @meshlababy @larry-pringles @witchymarvelspacecase @melconnor2007 @ohnosiren​ 

@nopevilleluas @winter--plum @poe-also-bucky @serzhantjamesbuchananbarnes @life-is-fuucked @emilyinbuffalo @buckybarnesisalittleshit @theboldandthebootyful @dr121413 @buckysquad @smartashes @notsoprettykitty  @tjhammomd @linsteadandchicagopdarelife @justareader @whatsbetterthanfantasy @nikkitia7 @intenselyupset @thenightmarebeforebucky @sebatmanstan @feelmyroarrrr @dazedandcarefree @fly-f0rever @skeletoresinthebasement @colouredwater @cierrabolton @hotemotionalmess @lady-sloan @avixenrose @captainmqmeep @professionally-crazed @ponyboys-sunsets @abimarvelparker @buckysbestgirll @buckybarnesisapreciousplum @sarcastic-ohohoh @notsoluckybucky @angel34jolly-blog @kitherey @heismyhunter @steadysuitenthusiast @bxckybxrnes02 @irreplaceable-spacexual @stephanieluvspie @canumoveyourseatup-no @cicismith95 @kinqshley @buckybuchanan @bxtchybrie @almondbuttercup @deanmonlove @missmalfoy1703 @petitelaurie9 @jade-cheshire @mrs-pendragonofthetardis @themistsofmyavalon @archer-whovian-violinist @gypsygirllover19 @maygenjayne1 @zhang91yixing @rileyloves5 @brutalwerewolf @fizzylollipop12 @sergeant-buchanan @followeroonieclassic @marvelgoateecollection @gingerbatchwife @sofiadiaz04 @hatterripper31 @mellifluous-melodramas @lilasiannerd @james-bionic-barnes @the-introverted-photographer @betherz5683

[rimaiahwrites]

Red handed—

Chapter seven

After Erik drove away Israel came in to the house grinning even though he low key pissed her off.

She was still happy that she got to spend time with him, Erik was actually bringing happiness and excitement to her dull life and she couldn't be happier about it.

Israel walked right passed her brothers and into the kitchen, not even noticing all her brothers and their friends sitting in the living room looking at her like she lost her mind.

She grabbed a water bottle and began to chug it. Until she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around and started choking on the cold water. Noah got up from the floor and made his way over to pat her on the back.

When she got her choking under Control, she waved at them giving her best smile trying not to look suspicious.

"Who the fuck was that nigga you was wit'?" Her smile dropped.

"What are you talking about I-" Jay cut his eyes at her, daring her to lie to his face. Israel rolled her eyes trying to play it off. "He's Just one of my friends jay, relax."

"Since when do you have guy friends?" He asked walking into the kitchen. Everyone now quiet like he was some sort of king.

"Since when did I have to answer to you?" Israel spit back, looking him up and down. Jay was a bit taken back from her tone because it wasn't like her to get go smart mouth with him.

"Since you were born fuck you mean when? You forgetting that you the youngest?" He said cocking his head back like she just said the most stupidest shit ever. "no but You keep forgetting I'm grown. I can do as I please." She hissed slamming the freighter door shut. "I'm not no damn baby anymore, stop trying to tell me what I can and can't do I'm grown rather you like it or not, the fuck" she said stepping up to him as if he wasn't 6'0 and bulky grown man. not even realizing that she had raised her tone with him...or that she was cussing.

"Girl-" she quickly held her hand up to hush him. "No! I'm so done with this shit! Y'all three get to do whatever y'all want and y'all still live in mom and dads house and don't nobody say shit to y'all but when I hang out with someone of the opposite gender it's a problem? as if you did just sneak that girl In your room not to long ago, as if y'all wasn't fucking in there while mom was downstairs right under your room." She spit out dropping her head down a bit to give him a death stare. She was so irritated and had so much adrenaline running through her, she was shaking.

"You really can't say shit to me jay!" She said slapping her hand on the counter, and her other hand in her hip. Looking like a middle aged black mama yelling at her disobedient child while jay just stood there staring wildly at her but there wasn't much he could say. It was all true. She cut him up and now he was stuck not knowing what to say.

It was quiet in the living room and kitchen.

Jays friends didn't say a thing but they were fully entertained with the argument going on between the two Sibling.

"So what you just fucking random niggas now? Huh? That's where you was last night? At that niggas house being a hoe?" He shouted, veins popping out the side of his head. Israel face dropped at his words and they stung more then she thought they would.

You could hear a pin drop nobody made a move or spoke a word. Just a silent staring contest between the two. Jays fists balled, shoulders squared looking like he was ready to fight while Israel on the other hand was her eyes were getting glossy and her breathing heavy. She could feel the lump in her throat getting harder to swallow.

She cleared her throat and turn to walk back to get her bag by the front door. And heading up stairs, there was nothing else to be said. Israel now knew that her big brother saw her as nothing more then just a hoe, he has made it very clear today.

Israel waited until she was 18 just to talk to men and now he was calling her a hoe not even knowing that she only stayed for the night, And that was all. But there was no point in arguing with jay, he was stubborn and a asshole. if that's what he thought that's what he thought.

She shut her bedroom door and headed straight to her bed, stuffing her face in her pillow tears coming down like a waterfall.

She was Tempted to call Erik just so he could come get her of the hell hole she called home.

Maybe that was over dramatic but she hated it here, she loved her family but being with them 24/7 wasn't something she planned on doing once she turned eighteen. She honestly thought she would have been treated like her brothers were but then again she was never given a fraction of the freedom her brothers has. She was never treated like her feelings mattered, everything has always been about the boys.

You would think that since she's the only daughter her father has she would be treated like a princess and get away with everything but that definitely wasn't the case with her father. She was always the one to get yelled at first, she was always the first one to get blamed for something she didn't do and was always the first to get it the worst of her siblings.

Her father was a strict, mean military man that had no Sympathy for anyone and he clearly passed that down to his oldest son.

She was so sick of crying over them, she was so sick of being mistreated.

With tears still running down her face she sat up and took a deep breath feeling like she was dropping down into that deep hole she liked to hide herself in when she was feeling down.

His words replaying in her head like a broken record. She wasn't a hoe and she knew that and she knew that she didn't sleep with Erik but some how his words sank into her skin so deep that she felt dirty. Like she had committed some sort of sin.

She was only having fun, and finally getting the teenage experience she never got to have when she was younger.

Israel was tired of crying over things her family has said to her it was time for her to stop letting their words hurt her and effort her mental health.

She stood up from her bed and decided that she wanted to take a flower bath and just pray her troubles away.

-

Erik parked his black Mercedes-Benz G-Class outside of the were house he owned. This was the place he kept all of his weapons, books, important papers and information he had collected over the years of him being in college and the navy.

He and ten of his close friends that he met in the navy had formed a elite group of former navy seals. Their jobs were to Take down small governments and expose them. They also would kill small amounts of police officers and clans men which 9 times outta 10 were the same group of men.

About six months age they made a little mistake that almost got them caught which would've cost them their lives which is why they took a break to regroup to better themselves. Erik and three of his boys ace, zeik and Rae all trained the hardest they ever have far as fighting techniques, Brent, rocky and von all worked with weapons and the rest of the boys were hackers.

Today was their first meeting in six months. Erik has changed Plans and moved things from the original date so this meeting is important.

Erik walked to the side door of the warehouse and slide up the side  paneling to reveal the handprint scanner, that was the only way to get into it up less you climb to the very top and through the window but the chances of that happening was slim. Once he was into he went to the corner of the large warehouse and behind the staircase that lead you to go upstairs which was empty.

He walked into the staircase little door where there was a another door that used Voice activation to open. "State your name please." a robotic voice said as it Scanned his face. "Erik Stevens."

"Face scan complete, welcome back erik." The voice said as the heavy Metal door opened to Reveal his underground lab.  "Feels good to be back." Erik Chuckled as he walked down the steps. All of his boys turned their heads from the game of pool to Erik. "Ayo Erik where you been at motherfucka you was supposed to be here a hour and a half ago." Erik grin as he dubed ace up ignoring zeik interrogation. "Right and you be the main one mad if Someone else late to the meetings." Rae butted in.

Erik rolled his eyes.

"If y'all don't shut the fuck up, I gotta life to I just got caught up." He shrugged them off as he walked over to his desk. Rae eyebrows raised as he looked at the rest of them and they all were just as confused as him. Erik and "personal" just didn't go together in the same sentence, if he wasn't working out he was working. Erik was always work, work, work.

Brent smirked as he grabbed his water  bottle and took a sip "him must got a new bitch or sum'" ace snorted "nigga yeah right that nigga ain't been in a relationship in years, Erik fucks and dips." It was true. That just wasn't like Erik.

"All I hear is you motherfuckas being worried about me let's get to work!" Erik clap his hands exactly as he went into the meeting room with the rest of the men following.

-

After a four hour meeting they had finally figured everything out. It was now 10:46 and Erik was tired, Israel sleeping over had him exhausted since it fucked up his sleep schedule. On a normal day Erik was in bed 11 o'clock and up at 6 o'clock in the morning. Sleep was very important to a healthy life style. It was Proven that people that get at least 7 hours of sleep they live longer.

Soon as Erik got home he took a shower and got straight in bed. he didn't even bother putting on clothes.

It's almost been a week since Erik has last spoken to Israel since he had been so busy. It's been strictly wake up, eat, work, train and work some more he didn't really have time to hang or call.

He felt a little bad for it but he knew that she knew he wasn't ignoring her intentionally...at least he hoped she knew that.

Today Erik was going to the gun range with ace just to do some training and catch up with him since they really hasn't had the chance to do that.

Since ace's car was in the shop right now so erik decided to pick him up instead of him catching a Uber. Soon as erik pulled up to aces Apartment he saw he step out of his door and jogged over to the passenger side.

"Wassup E," he said as he sat his bag down in the back seat. "Wassup bro you ready to show these niggas how to aim?" Erik said jokily as he drove off.

Erik cooked his AMT and aimed it at the head of the paper man all the way in the range and let multiple bullets fly from it giving him a slight rush. He adjusted his safety glasses and gripped the handle of the gun again before pulling the trigger but aiming at a different figure. Him and ace were both in their own little worlds before the ringtone from Erik's phone pulled him back down to earth, it caught aces attention too.

It was Israel.

Erik beamed down at the screen but Debated if he should answer it or not, he wanted to he really did but decided it would be best if he called her later since he could barely hear from all the gun shots being fired.

"Who was that? Got you smiling and shit..." ace asked with his eyebrows raised. Placing his gun down to face Erik. "Nigga why you so damn nosy?" Erik cut his eyes at him while blindly putting his phone back into his pocket.

"What you mean nigga? I'm just trying to see who making my dawg so happy is that a crime?" He said jokingly jerking his head back. Erik rolled his eyes.

"It's was one of my friends." Erik stated before grabbing his gun again trying to get off the topic. Ace put his hand out and pushed the gun down before he could pull the trigger.

"What friend? cause the last time i checked we had the same circle of friends?" Erik sigh getting annoyed with aces interrogation. Did he want to tell his best friend about Israel? Hell nah. Because he know his best friend and he knows he's going to go over bored and start doing the most with questions.

"You don't know her. Drop it nigga."

"Her? So you got a bitch or sumn'" Erik shock his head not even meaning to slip up and say anything. It was to late to take back now. "Nah she not my girl, we just been chilling." Erik shrugged, as he corrected him.

"Lemme see what she look like nigga how you know I don't know her?"

"Hell nah nigga stop being nosy-"

"Ok but if I had a bitch I would show you-"

"She not a bitch tho." Erik said sternly in their back and forth bickering. As annoyed as Erik was ace had a point and they both knew it. Ace talked to him about everything and if he was interested in a girl Erik would be the first to know about it. Erik put his gun on safety and sat it down before digging In his back pocket to grab his phone.

He scrolled through his camera until he found his favorite picture of Israel. It was one she sent to him not to long ago, her hair was wild with tiny ringlet coils. Her lips and mouth were stained red from the dumdum that hung from it. She had her white silk night gown on and a dainty rose flower necklace that hung between her collarbone.

Erik handed him the phone and watched as he brought his fist up to his mouth. "Nigga she fine as fuck damn where you find her at?"

"A party I went to not to long ago, she was shy as fuck she would barely talk to me." Erik chuckled taking his phone back to put it back in his pocket. "We been hanging out the last few weeks, she cool." Erik said nonchalantly to make it seem like he wasn't feeling shordy as much as he was. To someone like didn't know Erik as well as ace did he would've them really thinking he didn't like her and it wasn't a big deal but ace knew.

"You feeling her?" Ace asked facing Erik now, Erik shrugged.

"Like I said she cool."

"Mm." Was all ace said. Erik didn't need to answer, ace already knew the answer.

[nyctophilin]

Fake Affection | III

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue

Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.

All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.

Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader

Word count: 5.1k

Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: swearing, mild groping, mild violence

Pearl note -> This got long. Yeah, things got interesting in this part. :)) Also, I realized I forgot to add something so I had to come back last minute and edit it. Yeah, sorry for the delay. :/ I hope y’all enjoy it! Feedback is very much appreciated.

      The sun was shining brightly despite it being almost 6 PM. The temperature outside reached unusually high numbers for that time of the year, and Y/N decided to take advantage of that. Dressed in a forest green spring dress that reached her mid-thighs and offered a modest view of her cleavage, she was waiting for Jisung in front of her apartment complex. The dress she was wearing had short sleeves, but she decided not to take any jackets with her thanks to the weather forecast that predicted the temperatures to be high until later in the night.

      She was clutching the strap of her purse tightly and impatiently checking the time on her phone every few minutes. It has been such a long time since she went on a date. Just because she was going there to make Mina jealous didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun. What better way to convince the other girl that she missed on a lot of fun than have fun?

      Coming from the left side, she heard the sound of an engine approaching. Soon, a black Range Rover came to a gradual stop right in front of her, the front wheel almost climbing the sidewalk. From inside the car, Jisung gestured her to get in. She opened the door and climbed in, placing her purse over her knees before fastening her seatbelt.

      Without much of a word, Jisung turned the steering wheel and started driving to a destination unknown to Y/N.

      “I didn’t know you had a car.” She spoke, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

      Jisung threw her a look before concentrating on the road again.

      “It’s Chan’s. He let me borrow it for today.” A long sigh left his mouth. “After a long talk where he told me that if I hurt his baby, I’m dead.”

      Y/N let out a chuckle, and Jisung smiled as well, as the memory of the silly conversation he had with the older man flooded his mind. Another minute passed, and the silence in the car was being filled by the pop music coming from the radio.

      “You look pretty!” Jisung complimented, stealing another glance at her.

      A bright smile invaded her facial features at his words. 

      “Thank you! I didn’t know where we were going, but I figured a dress would be appropriate for many activities.” She chirped, the tiniest bit of excitement rolling off her tongue.

      “What if we are going hiking?” Jisung said, and a smirk appeared on his face when he noticed her rolling her eyes from the corner of his eye.

      “Then you can turn the car. I’m not coming!” Y/N crossed her hands under her chest and her mouth formed into a small pout.

      “I’m joking. We are going to an outdoor cinema.”

      She gave him a side look and raised an eyebrow.

      “No offence, but how do you know when outdoor cinemas are happening? They don’t seem…” She eyes him up and down on the driver’s seat. “...your style.”

      Jisung resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her comment. After a moment of silence, he sighed silently accepting her words.

      “Mina told me about it three weeks ago. She said it was a rom-com she really wanted to see. We planned to go together.” He explained taking a right turn.

      “Then how do you know if she’s going to come if you planned to go together. I don’t know if you realised, but you are supposed to be dating me, and she’s dating no one. Girls don’t usually go to this kind of thing without a boyfriend or a potential one.”

      “There’s this guy from Theatre and Film that she used to hook up with when I wasn’t around. I know from someone that they are coming together.” 

      Y/N let a pitiful smile involuntarily invade her features. It was kind of pathetic how he knew about her whereabouts and still didn’t say anything. She understood that they weren’t together, but they were heavily flirting and behaving like a couple, hence why she and a lot of other people thought they were actually in a relationship.

      She let her teeth sink in the flesh of her bottom lip holding back from telling him a piece of her mind. He was old enough. He knew what he was doing. Or at least she hoped he did.

      The rest of the way to the outdoor cinema was spent in silence. The only audible sounds being the radio and Jisung’s soft humming from time to time. When they reached, their destination Y/N got out of the car and let Jisung find a parking spot somewhere further away from the location of the cinema due to the parking there overflowing with vehicles.

      Checking her phone, she noticed the time indicating 7:17 PM, and only then she realised how much time they spent in the car. Walking lazily on the pathway to where space was designated for blankets and chairs she saw a sea of people. Maybe not really a sea but there were enough people to fill two of the auditorium in their university.

      For a second she thought she'd lay out the blanket, but then she remembered the only thing she had on her was her purse. On top of that, they needed to ‘accidentally’ bump into Mina and her date and hope they end up sitting next to each other.

      Just as she was thinking about that a squeal deafened her and a pair of delicate arms wrapped around her. When the girl let go of her, and she met Mina’s face, she grimaced, but she regained her composure fast. She smiled at her and her date, a guy she had seen occasionally in some of her classes.

      “What a coincidence you are here!” Mina’s fake excitement was pissing her off. Coincidence her ass. Y/N was sure she knew they were going to be there.

      “Yeah, what a small world.” She gave the two a visibly fake smile and prayed for Jisung to hurry.

      “Are you alone?” The girl asked, moving her head in different directions as if she was looking for the person she came with.

      “No. I actually came with Jisung.” As if on cue Jisung appeared from behind the two, a blanket in hand.

      “Are you looking for me, princess?” A jolt of surprise went through her at the new nickname he used, but she didn’t let it show.

      Observing the angry expression on Mina’s face at his words, she figured that was how he used to call her before they broke up whatever they had going on. She surpassed a smirk from painting her lips.

      “Mhhm.” She extended her hand, which he gladly held and went in for a short kiss. “Look who I found. Isn’t it lovely seeing your friends here?” She sarcastically said, smiling up at him.

      “You guys should come sit with us!” Mina’s date said, and a victorious smile spread across her face.

      “We’ll love to if that is okay with Mina, of course. We wouldn’t wanna disrupt you!” Y/N faked concern and gave Mina doe eyes.

      Mina’s jaw slightly clenched before immediately relaxing and letting out a forced giggle.

      “Of course you can. Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”

      After that, the four of them went and found a place at the back of the crowd where they could sit. It wasn’t exactly the back of the crowd since there were some more people behind them, but they were reasonably behind. 

      Jisung spread the blanket on the fluffy grass, and Mina’s date, whose name she found out was Jay, did the same as Jisung. Their blankets were almost touching, the distance between them millimetric. 

      There were still 20 minutes before the movie was supposed to start. They sat down on the blankets, and Y/N stretched her legs, finally relaxing for not having to stand on the platform shoes she was wearing.

      “So, are you guys dating or…” Jay asked, fixing his body position so he could see them better.

      Y/N rolled her eyes at his question. The guy wasn’t the best at reading the room.

      “Of course we are. Why would we be here together if we weren’t?” Annoyance was dripping off her tongue. She only wanted to relax for a bit before having to spend two hours watching some boring rom-com.

      “Oh…” His voice sounded almost disappointed as his gaze lingered a second too long on her exposed legs. “Mina and I are not a couple. And since she and Jisung have had a thing before, I thought...” He bit his bottom lip while looking at her thighs that were pretty much bare thanks to her dress riding up when she sat down. “Never mind!” 

      Y/N shifted uncomfortably and placed her hands on her thighs in an attempt to cover them even a little. Mina wasn’t aware of her date’s actions as her eyes were concentrated on Jisung and on the way he looked under the golden rays of the sun that was preparing to set.

      Jisung, however, was burning holes with his eyes into the other man’s head. Upon seeing him biting his lip while looking at Y/N in a less than appropriate way, he felt an unexplainable feeling of rage penetrate his body. What he wanted to do at that moment was to get up and punch that pig into next week for daring to look at her like that. But he kept his composure and decided not to make a big deal out of it. 

      There was literally no reason for him to get that angry. Besides the apparent reason that it made her uncomfortable and he shouldn’t allow something like that, especially when he is playing her boyfriend. But the sudden feeling to rip his head off filled him with turmoil.

      Jisung decided to ignore it for now, and he took his jacket off and placed it over her legs. Her head shot in his direction, confusion and at the same time relief present in her eyes.

      “What is that?” She asked, trying to act unaffected by Jay’s actions.

      “I just thought you might sit more comfortably with this over your legs. It stops unwanted attention.” He subtly glared at Jay, but he didn’t seem to pay him any mind as his eyes were now fixed on Mina’s chest.

      “Thank you!” She said, bringing the jacket further up to cover her thighs better.

      Jisung inched just a little bit closer to her and cupped her face. Placing his lips on hers, he forcefully pushed his tongue in her mouth, taking her by surprise. He made sure their heads were positioned in such a way that the two on the blanket next to them will be able to see the exchange of their mouths. 

      Mina was watching Jisung drag his tongue inside Y/N’s mouth, his eyes closed in satisfaction. The exchange wasn’t rushed, and the way his thumb would caress her cheek so gently had her bursting with jealousy. Jisung had never kissed her like that. Their kisses were always rushed and sloppy, driven by sexual needs.

      When she first heard about their little relationship, she laughed. She thought it was some kind of stupid joke. But then she saw how they behaved. The kisses, the hugs, the hand holding, how he would always have a hand around her shoulders. In the three days, they dated he showed Y/N more love than he showed her in a year and a half.

      Her initial plan was to tease him a little bit, then finally accept to be his girlfriend. She didn’t think he'd go and find himself a girlfriend. And especially not her. From all the people he could choose it had to be her. Looking at them now, Mina regretted her decision.

      Jisung broke the kiss and looked into her fluttering eyes before placing a peck on her nose. Y/N was sitting there dizzy from everything that happened. His sudden boldness left her speechless and burning hot from the embarrassment of being seen doing something like that.

      She wanted to question him. Ask him why he suddenly did something like that. However, a loud sound erupted from the speakers surrounding them, signaling the start of the movie. So she focused her vision on the big cloth in front of her and decided to ignore it.

      She shivered discreetly as a wave of cold hit her body. The movie was only half done, and with the midnight approaching slowly, a chilly air adorned their surroundings. The weather forecast predicted high temperatures, but at that moment she was far away from her city, and so the weather was different.

      Y/N rubbed one of her arms with her hand, regretting not taking a jacket with her just in case something like that was to happen. From the corner of his eye, Jisung noticed her actions, and he leaned in close to her to whisper in her ear.

      “Hey, are you ok?” His hot breath on her ear made the hair at the back of her neck stand up.

      “Yeah, I’m just a little bit cold. I’ll be fine!” She whispered back giving him reassuring eyes.

      Jisung thought for a second of what he could do. He didn’t have another jacket, and he didn’t want her to uncover her legs. At least not when Jay was around. An idea finally struck him, and he softly called her name, catching her attention again.

      When she turned to look at him, he tapped the space between his spread legs. Y/N raised an eyebrow at his gesture.

      “What does that mean?” She sounded a little bit annoyed.

      “Come sit here. I’ll cuddle you so you won’t be cold anymore.” Y/N threw him a weirded out look. “We are ‘dating’. No one will find it weird. Or you could just stay there and freeze to death.” The man explained his voice a little bit louder than before.

      She pondered his offer for a bit before getting up and making her way between his legs. She let herself fall backwards until her back hit his chest softly. Jisung put his arms around her, and warmth started enveloping her almost instantly. Y/N let out a purr at the newfound comfort, and her eyes shot open at the realisation of what she just did.

      “Hey, don’t get too comfortable, you hear me? I’m doing this just because Mina might be watching.” She warned, her voice stern hoping he missed her last action.

      Jisung rolled his eyes but decided not to bring up the sound she just let out. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the newfound proximity. Only so they can make Mina jealous. Right?

      They sat like that, none of them daring to move. For some reason, Jisung found the position really comfortable. A few days prior at the start of their relationship he found skinship really awkward but now it wasn’t like that anymore. It felt almost natural. Like they have been doing it for a long time.

      Some more time passed, but Jisung wasn’t sure how much. The movie was approaching its climax, and the man felt bored out of his mind. Was it really worth going through that only to get his dick wet? But then he remembered who he was doing it for. He was doing it so he and Mina, the girl who he has been in love with for the longest time, could finally be together. And when it happens, he will be able to slide his hand through her silky hair, and feel her smooth skin and kiss her soft lips without having to call it a friendly gesture.

      His trail of thoughts was interrupted by a quiet mumbling coming from Y/N. Her voice was so small that Jisung couldn’t hear her.

      “What?” He leaned his head down in order to hear her when she talks.

      For a minute, there was silence. Thinking that she didn’t hear him, Jisung wanted to repeat the question when a puff of air left her mouth. Right after, she turned slightly to the side, pushing her head more against his chest, and that is when he realised that she fell asleep.

      An involuntary smile tugged at his lips, and his heart started beating faster. He couldn’t explain why he was so happy about it. It was going to be a pain in the ass. Having to wake her up and wait for her to recover from her dazed form. They were going to be the last ones to leave after the movie was over.

      A whistle-like noise left Y/N’s nose when she expired the cold air of the night, and his smile turned into a grin. Jisung moved a few strands of hair from her face before wrapping his hands better around her to keep her warm. He placed a kiss on top of her head and rested his chin on her head, swaying slightly while continuing to watch the movie.

      If you were to ask Mina what has happened so far in the movie, she couldn’t give you an answer. As much as she wanted to see the film, the girl’s eyes seemed to be more interested in whatever was happening on the blanket on her left. 

      She watched as they were cuddling and whispering to each other things she couldn’t hear. Then Y/N fell asleep, and Jisung seemed to be even more loving, hugging her even tighter and kissing her. She was wondering if he has ever done that to her on the many nights they shared a bed.

      Mina never thought she would be that affected by the fact that Jisung has found himself a girlfriend. After all, he was just one of the many boys she was hooking up with. She never thought she would have feelings for him, but here she was, being jealous of the last person she ever thought she would.

      She had to somehow get the boy back. She wanted to see it as a challenge, but she couldn’t. It had barely been two weeks since they ‘broke up’ and scarcely four days since he started dating that perfect little missy. Love doesn’t fade away that fast. She’ll have him back in no time.

      Y/N felt someone shaking her arm gently, and she mumbled some incoherent words, pushing the hand away. She was sleeping so well, she didn’t want to wake up. A hand pushed a hair strand that was ticking her nose out of the way before grabbing her shoulder and shaking it again. She groaned in annoyance.

      “Wake up, Y/N! You have to go home. Unless you want me to take you to my place.” Someone whispered close to her face, and her eyes fluttered open, trying to make up her surroundings.

      The first thing she saw when she finally managed to blink the sleep away was Jisung’s smirking face. God, he was so annoying. Ignoring him and looking around, she noticed she was in his parked car in front of her apartment complex. She vaguely remembered falling asleep, but she doesn’t remember waking up to get to the car.

      “How did I get here? Did you wake me up?” Y/N asked, straightening her body and inhaling the cold air of the night.

      Jisung held her hand and helped her out of the car before slamming the door closed. He let her lean against the front door and opened the back door to fish her purse from the back seat.

      “I didn’t. You were way too cute when you shut up. Like a little obedient kitty. I had to enjoy the moment a little bit longer.” He teased, putting a hand around her waist and making their way to the entrance in the complex.

      Y/N scoffed at his childish remark but decided to ignore it. She didn’t have the necessary energy to argue with him.

      “So you carried me to the car? What about the blanket and the other stuff you had there? Did you go back for them?”

      “No, I had Jay get them for me, so I don’t wake you up.” 

      Stopping in front of the elevator, Jisung pushed the button, and they waited a few seconds for the doors to open. Stepping inside, Y/N pushed the button for the third floor before leaning back against Jisung.

      “Talking about Jay. Thank you for today!” The man threw her a questioning look, acting as nonchalant as he could.

      “What do you mean?”

      “Don’t act dumb! I know you didn’t give me your jacket just because you are nice like that. You saw how he looked at me.” She wanted to sound more aggressive, but her voice came out soft and calm since she was still sleepy.

      Jisung found that adorable but surpassed a smile. Adopting a disinterested expression, he spoke.

      “He did? I didn’t notice. I just thought that, as your boyfriend, I shouldn’t let everyone see your underwear.” Y/N punched him in the stomach lightly, and Jisung dramatically bent down, letting out a fake grunt.

      “You are such an asshole!”

      A loud ding echoed in the restricted space, and the doors opened, revealing the dirty wall of the third floor. They stepped out of the elevator and slowly walked down the hallway to where Y/N’s apartment door was. Taking her purse from Jisung’s hand and finding her keys, she unlocked the door and opened it.

      She leaned against the door frame and looked up at Jisung, giving him a bright smile.

      “I'd like to say that I had fun, but I fell asleep halfway through the date.” She giggled, trying to mask her embarrassment. “But it was nice getting out of the house. Thank you for today!”

      The man put his hands in his jean’s pockets and scoffed.

      “You are lucky Mina got upset by you sleeping on me. Otherwise, I would have gotten angry. My shoulders are so stiff from having to support your weight. I might not recover for a few days.” A fake pained groan left his throat, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

      Lifting herself on her tiptoes, she placed one hand on his shoulder and brought his head lower. She connected her lips with his in a short kiss. Breaking the kiss, she stepped inside her apartment and kept the door open enough for her head to be visible.

      “See you on Monday!” With that, she closed the door all the way and made her way into her bedroom.

      She wasn’t sure what was the time, but it must have been well past 11 PM. Taking off the dress, she discarded it on the floor before grabbing the oversized t-shirt from the back of the desk chair. She put it on and threw herself on the bed, letting the sheets envelop her body before falling asleep.

      Y/N’s eyes shot open, and her mouth fell open as the realisation of what she did only moments prior sank in. Putting the back of her hand over her forehead and exhaling deeply, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed. Why did she kiss him? She’ll never interact with anyone while she’s still drunk on sleep.

      Meanwhile, Jisung that just exited the complex couldn’t contain his smile. He couldn’t understand why that was happening. They kissed before to make Mina jealous. But maybe that was precisely the reasons such an insignificant gesture brought him so much joy. Mina was nowhere near. A spark erupted in his stomach at the thought that the girl might have a crush on him.

      “Do it again! With more love this time. Come on. You want me! You desire me!” Y/N ordered to Jeongin.

      The man let out a frustrated groan, using the script to cover his eyes from the brightness of the sun.

      Both of them, Hyunjin and Jisung, were outside, in front of the university. They had a free period and decided to practice the script for the short movie they were playing in. Hyunjin, although not part of the film itself, was always with them thanks to Mrs. Bae’s affinity towards him. 

      Jisung, however, was new in the picture. Ever since they went on that date a week and a half ago, he seemed to be spending more time with her. She felt mildly suffocated by that but decided not to question it. As long as he wasn’t distracting her from her usual activities, she didn’t mind him tagging along.

      “You don’t make desiring you really easy. We’ve done it four times already. We will start filming in three months. I don't have to be perfect right now!” Jeongin exclaimed letting his body fall on the bench on which Jisung and Hyunjin were seated.

      “Hey! Be careful of what you say. My girlfriend is very, much desirable!” Jisung said in a jokingly offended tone earning disgusted groans from the other two men.

      “Really dude? I could have lived my life without knowing that information.” Jeongin started fanning himself with the script. It was a sweltering day.

      “I don’t understand why you are here. You are only four-wheeling us.” Hyunjin remarked, earning himself a dirty look from Jisung.

      “A car needs all four wheels to be functional.”

      “Yeah, babe, but we are a tricycle.”

      Hyunjin, Jeongin and Y/N erupted into laughter at Jisung’s dumbfounded expression. From behind Y/N, they heard even louder laughter and Hyunjin scoffed at the scene unfolding under his eyes. 

      “I swear to God! Mina has been so annoying lately. Much more than when she used to hang out with Jisung. It’s as if she’s following us around.” The man rolled his eyes as he remembered how many times Mina ‘coincidentally’ happened to be in the same place as them the past week.

      “Tell me about it. And how she is always with Jay from our major. If I wanted to watch live porn, I would have signed up on one of those porn sites.” Jeongin seemed as annoyed as the other man.

      “Don’t stress about that guys. I’m pretty sure these are just coincidences.” Y/N tried telling them, even though she knew everything they said was right.

      “No, I’m pretty sure they are not. There’s someone between us whose attention she’s trying to catch.” Hyunjin gave Jisung a side look.

      “You can’t be sure of that.” She played dumb, wanting more than anything to change the subject.

      “ Oh, please! She’s always watching him. In the cafeteria, when we are hanging around on our free periods, when she’s kissing that loser. It’s like he’s a good movie she can’t tear her eyes from.” Jeongin snapped, tired of the whole situation.

      “Then let’s give them something to look at!” Jisung smirked smugly.

      “What do..”

      In the next second, Y/N has been pulled on Jisungs lap, and he captured her lips in an urgent kiss. One hand was on the nape of her head forcefully holding her in the kiss, and the other one was on her ass cheek, squeezing it. 

      She heard someone awkwardly clearing their throat from her right, and all her senses heightened. Y/N placed her hands on Jisung’s shoulders and tried lightly pushing him away while uncomfortably shifting in his lap. As a response, the man groaned lowly and slid his hand from her neck to her chest, cupping it.

      Her eyes widened in shock at his action and mustering all the force she had in her, she pushed him away, finally breaking the kiss. A loud bang ringed around them as her hand made contact with his cheek. Jumping off his lap, she gathered her bag from the leg of the bench.

      “You are a fucking asshole!” She shouted in his face before storming off inside the university.

      The stomping of her boots was echoing in the empty halls, and the few students that were around decided to make her space to pass. Her thinking was clogged at the moment, and all she could feel was rage and shame. She was angrily making her way down the halls, but her destination was uncertain. She just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

      Y/N heard quick steps from behind her, and a hand pulled at her shoulder. Without turning around, she shrugged it off and started walking faster. The person behind her also increased their walking speed, but this time around, they grabbed her wrist.

      Just as she was preparing to scream in their face, she was pulled into a hug, her face forced into a firm chest. Y/N felt herself calm down as the smell of a cologne she grew accustomed to in the last week invaded her lungs. His hand was gently rubbing her back, and she relaxed under her touch.

      “Are you okay?” Hyunjin whispered softly in her ear.

      She hid her face more in his chest, feeling shame overcome her.

      “I’m sorry you had to see that. I swear it’s not what you think! We’ve never…” Her voice was shaky, as if she was about to cry. Hyunjin cupped her face forcing her to look in his eyes. She could see concern and sadness hiding behind his brown orbs.

      “Why are you apologising to me? You are the one who’s been wronged here. I just wanna make sure you are okay.” His soft voice was acting as a calmative for her racing heartbeat.

      Y/N felt her insides flip at his caring words. His hands on her cheeks were hot, and she decided to blame them for the blush that acaparated her face.

      “Hey! Step away from my girlfriend, you motherfucker!” Jisung’s voice filled her ears, and she saw Hyunjin roll his eyes.

      The warmth of his body left her, and he crossed his arms as Jisung finally arrived in front of them. Hyunjin was looking down at the other man, and both their expressions were filled with anger.

      “I was just making sure she’s fine. It looks like you took your time deciding to do the same.” The taller man spat venom dripping off his tongue.

      “It’s none of your business how I handle my relationship!” Jisung adopted a louder tone bringing his face closer to Hyunjin’s.

      “But it is when you decide to act like a bitch in heat and make your girlfriend uncomfortable. This is why Mina never dated you and why you and Y/N won’t last long!”

      Jisung clenched his jaw upon hearing the other man’s words, and before anyone could register what was happening, he plunged his fist into Hyunjin’s face.

[mikumutual]

bored so i’m answering all 150 questions from an ask meme for myself

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

a girl from my math class last semester, after i fell TWICE while wearing platform shoes... she offered me her hand for stability and i accepted

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing around other people my age or with adults i'm familiar with, more shy with like... cashiers

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

uhhh my new roommates! i'm getting two roommates at college this year and it'll be nice to meet them :)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

yes! i'm not even gonna be coy about that, i get along with other people easily and i know that by now lol

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

>has never been drunk >does not know what "the person you like" means in this context

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

always depends, but gnc women and nblw are a surefire way to my heart... short hair and pants with a belt...... my face is heating up just thinking about it

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

No

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

what does this even mean. like, my dad?????

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

no but in the right circumstance it can. i don't make many sexual jokes with my friends or even talk about it really though... but i wouldn't mind if they did. just because i haven't had sex doesn't mean i'm not thinking about it, and it's curious that this whole aspect of life has been sort of blocked off from my conversations

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

deep conversation, huh... i'm not sure. i only get deep and existentialist with myself, i guess. it just hasn't come up in conversation yet

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

it's pictures to my parents from when we went off-roading yesterday

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

oh this is impossible... ok don't make fun of me. DoReMiFa Rondo - 40meterP, The Last Shanty - Derina Harvey Band, Lake Ponchartrain - Ludo, My Dad is Rich - Danny Gonzalez, and ol' reliable, High School Never Ends - Bowling for Soup

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes! there was a girl in high school who liked doing that in freshman year when my hair was long... she liked the curls :]

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

well, luck is just something we say after something has already happened - "boy, that was lucky!" "it's unlucky that it went that way" - but there's no quality in a person that will ensure future endeavors work out or don't by fate alone. my perspective is of course influenced by the fact that i don't believe in superstition or any higher power

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i started writing letters to a friend overseas! i have a real penpal now!!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

have not kissed anyone

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

the universe is fucking HUGE dude. yes, but we have never had any contact with them, and likely never will... though humans may eventually expand to civilizations on other worlds

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

my first real crush was on a girl in my freshman year, and she left after sophomore year, so no

19. Do you like bubble baths?

ummm sure! i took them more when i was a kid though. showers are just easier

20. Do you like your neighbors?

ive lived in this house since i was 10 and i don't know any of my neighbors lmao

21. What are you bad habits?

uhh i don't exercise much. i could stand to walk outside more often during summers, since i don't have any reason to go out to like class or whatever

22. Where would you like to travel?

i've been wanting to travel across europe since like middle school...... other places would be nice too, but language barriers scare me lol

23. Do you have trust issues?

nah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

talking to my friends :] also i fucking love ice water

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

oh we're really going there huh. uuuhhh i'm not like uncomfortable with my legs but i NEVER wear shorts outside of my house/dorm and haven't since i was a kid... except the PE shorts in 7th/8th grade and my high school uniform which was a skirt and knee socks. ive just worn pants since middle school... i guess back then i thought i didn't have the body for it, and now it's because i haven't shaved my legs since i was 17. again i'm not uncomfortable with that and in fact i think i look good in shorts, it's just that i don't think that would be... presentable. i guess my "no one has to shave" activism doesn't start with me lol

26. What do you do when you wake up?

pull my blankets onto me if they've been kicked off and i'm cold, get my glasses, take my meds, start using my phone. i'll get my phone before anything else if i had a dream, though, so i can immediately write it in my dream journal

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

this is a weird question. no.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my friends... so i guess alone in my room. i'm really looking forward to having a friend group or girlfriend irl who i'm completely comfortable being with

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

have not had an ex but boy that sounds dramatic

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yes! and i want a huge white ballgown for my wedding

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yes, but half of my head is shaved, so a ponytail would be wonky

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

LMAO...... i literally don't think about celebrities enough to have an answer to this, terribly sorry

33. Spell your name with your chin.

my url: zlhgdfbjjb wow that sucked

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

nope, i didn't even in high school. i was in dance as a freshman and did theater tech for the rest

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv. and dimension 20 doesn't count as television

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

literally every time lol. well irl at least. unfortunately every time i liked someone i knew they didn't like me back and every time someone liked me i didn't like them back...... so it's just been a series of tragic coincidences u_u

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

"............so! uh, " followed by something relevant

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

honestly just someone i can have a genuine and candid conversation with... someone similar to me, but different enough that they can say things that will catch me off guard and make me laugh... someone whose interests overlap with mine and whose skills are different so we can work in tandem... and is a six foot three punk rock chick with washboard abs and a voice like thunder, of course

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

idk i'm not really into uh. experiences

40. What do you want to do after high school?

i didn't know in high school and i don't know now. i'm in community college though, and soon i'll transfer somewhere else..... majoring in computer programming! idfk honestly my life is just gonna happen, i'm not really trying to plan for it

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

god. i guess. sometimes people have just shown themselves to be Bad, though, and i don't think it's wrong to distrust someone even if they have apologized. everyone's done bad things, things they regret, things they can't believe they did... and it's up to all of us individually to decide who we can forgive and when

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i probably just don't have anything to add to the conversation at that time. or i'm zoning out. i'm not sad often enough to have "you're quiet, are you sad?" as the first option in anyone's mind

43. Do you smile at strangers?

like, on the street? no, i don't make eye contact with other people. unless i'm expected to, ie cashiers, waiters, classmates/teachers, etc - basically, eye contact means a smile, assuming it was on purpose

 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

the ocean certainly has more interesting stuff, right? i think i've always wanted to go to space though lol

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

have to pee

46. What are you paranoid about?

uhhh nothing. paranoia is pretty irrational, right? the delusions i have are very infrequent and even those are usually buoyed by my lifetime of skepticism, so i don't think i have an answer to this question

47. Have you ever been high?

yes! almost always edibles, but a friend at college had a bong she let me hit a few times. i kept making people coach me through all the steps because i was afraid of doing it wrong lol. i don't mention being high to my friends online though... i guess i fear that they'd have a negative reaction to it? or at least wouldn't know how to respond? i dunno, i guess that's the drawback of being friends since you were all prudish teens. maybe i'll start being more open about it... i'm 20, after all, you'd think i know how to be an adult by now

48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope, i think i'm waiting until i'm 21, unless my friends at college this year put me in a real good circumstance for it

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

errr. i suppose. but why would i mention it if i didn't want anyone to find out? ;P

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

black! i haven't worn my hoodie in a while, though. summer heat and all

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

ohhh yes. recently my executive dysfunction has gotten the better of me... i feel like a third-person observer in my own life. i wish this consciousness of mine were someone better at doing schoolwork

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

can we get those executives to function

53. Favourite makeup brand?

i have never put on makeup in my life

54. Favourite store?

idfk. see's candies?

55. Favourite blog?

@aphternoon

56. Favourite colour?

light blue! like miku!

57. Favourite food?

i never have a good answer for this. in architecture camp when i was 16, my answer was rice - as in, white rice with butter, because it's so dependable, and it really is fucking good. i haven't come up with a better response since

58. Last thing you ate?

steak and potatoes made by my dad

59. First thing you ate this morning?

chocolate milk. every time i make it, i think of all the times i made it before. i'm kind of connected across time to all my past selves..... a plastic red solo cup, using a metal spoon to get two and a half heaping spoonfuls of nesquik, and maybe another tiny bit for good measure, pouring milk from the gallon, stirring it all up, and sometimes even whipped cream.... when i put the spoon in my mouth to catch the residual flavor before putting it in the sink, it's the same way i've done it for years, since i was a teenager, since the mornings before middle school, since i was a child and was much closer to the counter. one time when i was very young, i was sad, crying, and my mom made me some chocolate milk, and it made me feel better. it always makes me feel better. i drank it when i was five. i made it this morning.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i submitted a pun for pi day once in my senior year and it's the only time i ever got on stage for our morning assembly announcements. i won a small pie

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

never

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

haven't had it. i did witness my cousin's, though, when i was in middle school, because we were over at a friend's house, and . that moment in time gave me the impression that my first kiss was soon to come, and it wasn't

65. Are you hungry right now?

now that you mention it yeah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

since i graduated yeah

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

no i'm listening to Antonio Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - Fall - Allegro. oh wait it's just switched, now it's Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - Autumn - mvt 3 Allegro

70. Names of your bestfriends?

too shy to say......

71. Craving something? What?

dude you JUST asked me if i'm hungry, i haven't decided yet!!!

72. What colour are your towels?

when i go to school the towels i bring are blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one right now somehow. and a uhhhhh

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

ok fine i have a dakimakura. it was a gift from my brother. i got him a titty mousepad the next christmas though so we're even

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

oh i used to have a fuckton... any ones i have left would be in my closet though. but i still cherish my 4ft rainbow trout pillow

75. Favourite animal?

ringed seal my beloved

76. What colour is your underwear?

do you people have uniform colors for your underwear? the ones i'm wearing are black if you really care to know

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

generally vanilla i think

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

at school sometimes they had a froyo machine and sometimes the flavors would be vanilla and cappuccino and the swirl of that was so fucking heavenly. i know froyo isn't technically ice cream but shut the fuck up

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

it's a white shirt that says "i ♡ the colorblind" and the ♡ is one of those colorblind tests with all the circles and in it it says "secretly loathe"

80. What colour pants?

wearing shorts rn but all i have are jeans that are blue or black. some pajama pants though

81. Favourite tv show?

uhhh i watched severance recently and it rules. idk if i have a favorite. i mostly watch dimension 20 honestly

82. Favourite movie?

encanto is kind of a comfort movie for me at this point... also penn & teller get killed should have been a cult classic but idk if people who didn't have a brief hyperfixation on penn & teller would agree with me. oh and the tintin movie is underrated

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

before my freshman year i told myself i was gonna watch mean girls so i could understand high school culture and then i literally never watched it

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

i've seen neither

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

why does this person like mean girls so much

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

??????? the jellyfish?????

87. First person you talked to today?

umm i texted my roommates for the upcoming schoolyear if that counts

88. Last person you talked to today?

brief interaction with my mom

89. Name a person you hate?

you could show me any republican and i would detest them immediately

90. Name a person you love?

idk i'm pretty attached to all the d20 people, those guys are great. well, almost all of them

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

[cracks my knuckles] [stares into the eyes of the mr beast photo pinned to my dartboard]

92. In a fight with someone?

i'm not that involved in drama!!

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

i don't know if this single pair counts as sweatpants or if it's just gray pajama pants with pockets

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like two i think

95. Last movie you watched?

what's up doc? (1972). fucking sucked

96. Favourite actress?

idk celebrities

97. Favourite actor?

idk celebrities

98. Do you tan a lot?

in my experience i tan easily and rarely burn but i went out in the sun more often as a kid so that might not be up to date

99. Have any pets?

we used to have two dogs and then one, and then chickens in the backyard... ive always been allergic to cats but i somehow became allergic to dogs too in recent years :( no pets right now though

100. How are you feeling?

pretty good. mildly worried about a project in my summer class with vague requirements but it'll probably work out i think

101. Do you type fast?

typing tests say i'm about 80wpm, no idea my speed on the phone

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

oh sure, but i guess nothing would've worked out any way other than the way it did

103. Can you spell well?

incredibly

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

i didn't keep in contact with anyone from high school somehow..... i miss them terribly. and everyone i went to school with even before then, it would be interesting to reconnect with them, though i don't see how it would happen if i keep going to schools in different cities

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

iiiii don't remember. i don't think so? all my experience of bonfires is from the sims 3 university lol

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

some fuckin guy i only knew through a groupchat on kik when i was like 13? hardly a heartbreak but yknow. also this annoying tumblr friend who i blocked around the same time who, upon briefly unblocking, sent me this weepy direct message about having always loved me or something...... i blocked them again

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

working on schoolwork i guess? it's not due until tomorrow!

109. Is something irritating you right now?

this show i wanna watch only comes out once a week!!!! i wanna watch it NOW!!!!!!

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

i don't think so... it's more of a bubbly feeling in my chest than something painful

111. Do you have trust issues?

didn't you already ask this

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my mom

113. What was your childhood nickname?

never really had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yes of course

115. Do you play the Wii?

my cousins had one that i'd play with as a kid! we did wii sports resort often, and i also liked the board game one a lot. the tag-team minigames were so fun lol

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yeah, the playlist has moved to Pokemon Sword & Shield OST - Gym Leader Battle (Full In-Game Version). i'm listening to instrumentals so i'm not hearing lyrics while writing this stuff out

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

actually no

118. Do you like Chinese food?

of course

119. Favourite book?

the haunting of hill house, i would say

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes! i know that all there is is the same as what's in the light, but it really heightens my fear to be only barely able to see...

121. Are you mean?

geez i hope not

122. Is cheating ever okay?

i mean if your husband is abusive and you're secretly fraternizing with a woman like in all those 1800s movies then sure. but in almost all circumstances no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

why is this even a question

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mutual attraction sure. love, no.

125. Do you believe in true love?

sure, but a person can have many true loves in one lifetime

126. Are you currently bored?

yeah that's why i'm doing this

127. What makes you happy?

talking about whatever my current interest is

128. Would you change your name?

god i mean. i've thought about it, but you'd think that if i wanted to, i would've done it already. i've never really been able to think of a good option. sounds like more trouble than it's worth, so i guess i'll learn to like the name i already have

129. What your zodiac sign?

gemini

130. Do you like subway?

not really into sandwiches so no. their spicy salami is pretty good though

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

dude you know i'm a lesbian how the hell did this happen

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

swear to god you asked this question already

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Dad been alive for 400 years / Vampire shit, he don't show up in the mirrors / Rich man shit, he don't show up for his kids / How he live forever but ain't got time for his kids?

134. Can you count to one million?

alright i know all the numbers and i know the order but a million seconds is 12 days so why the fuck would i do that

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

uhh none come to mind... i certainly have lied, i just don't remember any as being particularly stupid

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

my door is never open unless i am actively entering or exiting

137. How tall are you?

5'8"

138. Curly or Straight hair?

mine? curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?

mine? brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

summer <3

141. Night or Day?

night..... it's secret, and no one can ask anything of me

142. Favourite month?

june, my birth month!

143. Are you a vegetarian?

no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk chocolate my beloved. god i wish i had some milk chocolate right now

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee, but only the starbucks kind where the flavor is extremely diluted

146. Was today a good day?

uhh not much happened but sure!

147. Mars or Snickers?

dude i don't even remember what mars bars taste like. so snickers by default

148. What’s your favourite quote?

"y'know, i'm old enough to remember back to simpler, more innocent times, when the worst thing you'd hear about the news was hijacked jetliners flying into buildings"

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

nah, too rational for that. if a soul sticks around after death, where was it before birth? why can something be created but not destroyed?

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

"Citra now seemed to shrink in her chair." that's from Scythe, a book a friend got for me in high school, which i haven't had the chance to read yet... it means a lot that she gave it to me as a gift, so i'll have to start it sometime. glad that that line wasn't something extremely spoilery lol

okay that's all 150. i did this for me and me alone but i'm posting it because why wouldn't i. shoutout to all 1 people reading this (me)