#since at the time I still haven’t discovered the word Enigma just yet-

[enigma020]

Can’t believe I have 5 children already ;w;

Originally, she was older than Zachary in Histale (old Noveltale)

I wonder what Zachary’s reaction would be like if they see each other again.

Kuubii does, indeed, not like being called small-

Anyways, meet the last hidden member of the family. The middle child.

Sally Winterra.

[untaemedqueen]

Third Wheeling

CEO!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 11.

Warnings (Updating Still): Smut, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unfaithful, Emotional Damage, Love

Warnings For This Chapter: Maya Jump Scares (My Fave!), Sweet Yoongi, Talks of BDSM, Mentions of Hard and Soft Limits, Sexual Teasing, Introducing OC to BDSM, Kissing, Panty Kink, Use Of The Color System, Bondage, Training Orgasms, Daddy Kink, Breast Play, Degradation (Slut), Squirting, Mentions of Lactation Kink, Yoongi Cries, Pet Names, Fellatio, Face Fucking, Edging, Multiple Orgasms, Embarrassed Yoongi

A/N: Good luck. I'm fucking DEAD. Always a shout out to the greats @xjoonchildx, @ladyartemesia, @ppersonna

Yoongi probably hasn't slept this well in a long time. Probably since he was a kid.

It's difficult for him to rouse from his slumber. It's comforting to feel your limbs contorting around his. He can feel himself drooling on your pillow distantly.

Everything feels like a dream right now. 

He can feel your head laying on his arm. His hand is pressed to your stomach still and he feels such peace.

Opening his eyes, he can make out the chandelier on the ceiling. The daylight rays that bleed through the window bounce off of the Swarovski crystals that hang and they sprinkle the walls and ceilings with rainbow lights.

He would have never noticed these things before. Did last night change something in him? 

Looking around the room, he jumps at the sight of Maya as she leans against the marble wall.

He sighs loudly, his hand running through his hair as his heart beats rapidly.

"What?!" he mouths to her.

Looking over at you, he brushes some hair off of your sleeping face. The baby must be making you so tired.

You did work hard last night on the delicious dinner you made. That might tire you out too.

Maya raises her eyebrows at the both of you in bed.

You groan at the light that now shines on your face since your hair has been moved.

Throwing your body over Yoongis' with a whine, he shushes you gently on instinct.

"Go back to sleep, little dove. You're alright." he whispers gently.

"It's twelve o'clock." Maya mouths to him, holding up his Rolex watch.

He's late for work.

Looking down at you, he watches how peaceful you are in your sleep.

He doesn't care about work. He's perfectly content where he is. 

He flicks his hand, telling the woman who is like his mother to go away. 

With a smile, she bows her head. "Sir."

"Yoongi?" your voice is laden with sleep.

He finds himself smirking as you whisper his voice.

"Right here. I didn't leave," he promises as you pick your head up off of his arm.

"I slept like a brick," you mumble.

Chucking to himself, Yoongi can only agree.

"Me too. I'm late for work." he jeers.

You sit up quickly, eyes roaming the room before finding the digital clock by the bed.

"It's twelve! You're so late!" you gasp loudly.

"It's okay, I'm the boss, little dove."

"That's not a good excuse," you jeer, shoving his shoulder with a laugh.

He finds himself chuckling as he lays back down on the pillow. "I can work from home."

You pout at him, combing your hair over your shoulder as you sit up against the headboard.

"I haven't been up to the third floor, yet." you admit, stretching your limbs to a satisfying degree.

"I can show you what's up there. Maybe after we eat some brunch," the father of your child suggests, laying back down on the pillow.

"I'd like that," you reply, warmly.

Last night, you discovered so much about the man lying beside you. You could never imagine how hard his life has been. It's really a shame. 

But, there are times you find his sweet side peeking out. And you decide to focus on those instances from now on instead of the others.

He deserves it. 

You deserve it.

"Why haven't you made yourself at home?" Yoongi asks, gently.

Looking around the room, you notice the cardboard boxes of paintings and stuffed animals. Small little knick knacks piled up without a place to go.

Humming unsurely, you look around the room. "I just didn't feel like my stuff was good enough to put in here maybe? I didn't really feel the need to do it." you reply with a shrug.

Yoongi scoffs gently as he stands, twisting his back with a groan. The sounds of his bones cracking echo throughout the large room and you smirk as he walks over to the boxes.

You watch his legs contort and flex through his briefs and the image of his pert backside makes an eyebrow raise.

He is really good looking.

Picking up a stuffed red panda, he tilts his head at the cuteness. His eyes look down into the box and he notices just how many stuffed animals you have.

"Jesus, why do you have so many?" he asks with a laugh, continuously picking up some of the toys big and small.

Sitting up to look past him, you giggle.

"Every year during the Fall Festival, I get at least two. Their fun to get! Makes fun memories!" you reply happily as you stand up.

"You can remember every single memory for each stuffed animal?!" he sounds bewildered and it makes you laugh.

"Of course!"

"No fucking way!" he jeers.

Stepping beside him, you watch as he rifles through the box.

Pulling out a panda at the bottom of the box, he hands it to you.

"What memory is that, smarty pants?" he quips, leaning against the glass door to your balcony.

Your lips purse as you stare down at it.

"Well this is Yukhoe, I got him at the fair… seven years ago, I think? I won him for getting the most consecutive balls in the one thousand point hole during skeeball."

"Bullshit!" Yoongi cries with a laugh.

His laugh is so pretty. Even the gummy smile he gives you is heart stuttering.

"I'm serious!" you reply, shoving him gently with your hand.

He snorts loudly, rolling his eyes as he folds his arms.

"You should put them up if you have so many memories," he insists looking around the room.

You hum unsurely, placing the toy down to grab at your stomach.

"Or maybe you can put them in the babies' room? That'd be nice," Yoongi mumbles absentmindedly.

You find yourself smirking even amidst your morning sickness. He's being so kind. It's making butterflies appear when you thought it could never happen.

Finally, he looks back down at you. He notices how you clutch onto your stomach, how you lean against the armchair for support. 

"You feel sick?" he takes it upon himself to tie your hair up without argument.

"Just a little," you reply.

Helping you sit down, he crouches beside the chair. He rubs slow, soothing circles to your back as you rest your elbows on your knees.

"It'll go away," you promise. 

"I know, little dove. Sesame gremlin is really molding your body to how it sees fit," the CEO whispers.

Your heart feels warm as he speaks such kind words.

"You remembered," you whisper in awe, turning your head to look at him.

He smirks, furrowing his eyebrows. "I remembered? That you called it a sesame gremlin?"

You nod happily as he chuckles.

"That's our baby name for now, why would I forget that?" he asks, confused.

"Just didn't think you cared that much," you reply, the nausea starting to ebb away.

"Oh, I care. It's just hard for me to show it sometimes… Most of the time." he whispers, brushing some stray hairs away from your cheek.

You hum sweetly, a noise that fills the man beside you with glee.

"I feel a little better," you whisper, sitting back up.

"Good. Let's go get you some water and food, hmm?" he asks softly, helping you stand.

Watching you walk away to the bathroom, Yoongi can only describe this past encounter as comfortable. It just seems right. It feels domestic and warm. 

It feels so perfectly his.

"Frederic, that was amazing!" you say, setting down your fork.

The chef looks up at you from the pan, a wide smile set on his face.

"Madame. You flatter me. I am just your humble serviteur," the man says, bowing to you.

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a chuckle. 

It didn't take long for him to call his office and tell them that he would be working from home. But, it was just long enough for him to begin missing you while you were in the shower.

He's starting to become attached to you. He's only ever felt attached to Maya. 

"You have to go work, right?" you ask him as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

He nods slowly, picking up his coffee while turning to you.

"Yeah, just gotta go over a few documents. You can come up with me though, if you want to. Bring a book or something?" he sounds shy as he asks you.

Not too long ago, that question would have made you feel uncomfortable. But now, you're more than content with agreeing.

"Sure, I'm almost done with a book I took from the library," you reply as he helps you down from the stool.

"What book are you reading?" he finds himself asking, his arm extends, politely telling you to walk first before him.

"Atlas Shrugged," you reply, ascending the stairs.

The prospect of you reading such a large book makes him impressed.

"When did you start reading the book?" he inquires softly, the both of you landing on the second floor.

"Two days ago," you say, walking towards your studio to grab the book.

"You're almost finished with a one thousand page book in two days?!" his voice is filled with awe as you pick up the hardcover book.

Turning to him, you press the book to your chest with a smile. "Well yeah, it's a great book."

His lips purse, seeming impressed. "Well goddamn, you're an enigma aren't you, little dove?" 

 The third floor is perfectly grandiose. There are small cases filled with what seem to be heirlooms lining the marble walls. 

"No one really comes up here." Yoongi explains as you walk through the large hallway.

The two wings at the top seem to be filled with crates and boxes. There are white sheets that cover many pieces of furniture and at night you would hate to be up here. It seems like it would be creepy and daunting.

"Most pieces of furniture and the art and statues in the crates haven't been added down to the museum wings, yet. I just leave them up here." Yoongi says as you wade through them all.

"So interesting," you quip, lifting a white sheet to look at the pretty furniture beneath it.

"Kinda creepy." Yoongi says, folding his arms.

You hate to admit it but you nod along with his words.

"Just a little," you reply with a giggle.

"Come," he whispers softly.

As you continue back to the main hallway, you feel his hand on your lower back once more and it fills you with a sense of calm. 

He's getting good at that these days.

"This is my office," he says, opening up the double doors.

Everything in this room is pristine and you can tell that it's never been used before last week.

As you go to step inside, your feet linger as a black door down the hallway catches your attention.

"What's that room?" you ask, curiously.

Your feet taking off without you.

"Oh, little dove! Wait!" Yoongi cries out as you step in front of the door.

It has a fingerprint key to it. Seems secretive.

"This is just a room of my hobbies and stuff," he sounds absolutely embarrassed.

His hand rubs at the back of his neck and you notice how his irises shake with nerves, looking from the room and then back to you.

"Show me," you whisper as he leans against the wall.

He hums unsurely. 

You sound so excited about it. 

"It's really not for you to see." he replies.

Frowning, you tug on the door handle which gives no reaction.

"Come on. It can't be that bad. Unless, you have dead bodies in here," you joke.

Rolling his eyes, he sighs gently. He doesn't want to see you frown. So, against his better judgement -- he puts his thumb on the fingerprint scanner. The noise echoes throughout the silent floor and he clears his throat awkwardly.

"It's a BDSM room. I've never used it though," he says quickly, opening up the door.

"Whoa," you whisper as the room is opened up to you.

Automatic lights turn on as you step inside. 

The walls are all black marble and the large bed that sits at the far end of the room is mocha brown. 

You can tell the sheets are satin and luxurious even from far away. 

But, the main thing that catches your attention is the multitude of cabinets and drawers that line the walls almost artistically.

Yoongi watches you with nervous eyes. He watches how you run your hand over the wooden fixtures that line the walls.

"What's this?" you find yourself asking.

You point to a large black X figure that is attached to the wall.

The CEO rubs his hands together nervously, pushing himself off of the door frame to walk closer.

"It's an X cross. You hop on these footrests and you get shackled to it," he sounds uncomfortable as he speaks.

"Cool." you reply, setting down the book to hop on.

"Whoa! No! You're pregnant, be careful!" he whines, putting his hands on your rib cage to keep you up against the cross.

"So? Just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I'm broken," you quip, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"Little dove," he admonishes softly.

He looks up at you on the cross and the dirtiest things begin to flit through his mind.

Imagining you naked, with your hands and feet shackled to the cross. Seemingly incapacitated as he strokes your pretty pussy. 

What would it be like if your belly was bigger? He'd be able to rub--

"Get down," he begs.

Rolling your eyes, you hop off of the cross.

"You're no fun," you quip, walking around him to the wall of riding crops and canes.

"I am fun!" he retorts, folding his arms once more.

"What's this?" you ask softly, your fingers running through the multitude of leather strands that hang from the top.

"It's a flogger," the father of your child mumbles through gritted teeth.

He sighs softly as you pull it off the wall.

Rearing back, you snap the flogger to your hand and your palm sings with the devilish sting.

"Ow," you whisper softly.

Yoongi watches your eyebrows contort in pain and he's quick to rip the toy from your grasp. It tugs at his heart.

"Stop. You're going to hurt yourself," he admonishes, once more.

The way he speaks, even if it's supposed to come out gruff and annoyed, it just sounds caring and worried. Which is why you're perfectly okay with continuing along with your nosy inquiries.

"Do you like to flog people? Or hit them with this?" you ask, taking a large, thick cane off of the wall.

The way he sighs, it makes you smirk.

"Depends on the situation. How bratty the sub is being," he throws the word bratty right at you and it makes you smile.

"So would you be caning me or?" you quip as you turn to him.

His tongue licks at his lips at the prospect of it.

"I would be fucking wrecking you until you're begging," he mumbles, pulling the thick cane out of your hand.

"So let's play," you whine, tugging his hand over to the bed.

His eyes flutter shut and it takes all of his inner strength to pull away from you.

"You're pregnant. Stop it," he chides, hanging the toys back on their appointed shelves.

"No fun," you mumble, sitting down on the bed.

The bed hugs you comfortingly and you hum in appreciation laying back.

Turning to you, the father of your child watches as your shirt rides up. He can see the small little bump beginning to form and he clenches his teeth at the sight.

"I have to work," he reminds you, watching you run your hands over the satin sheets.

"Go ahead. I'll be here, playing with myself. You have vibrators?" you giggle as his eyebrows furrow.

"Come on, little dove," he says, already heading to the doorway. 

With a small giggle you stand up, you'll break him. In time.

It's difficult for Yoongi to pay attention to work, once again. His eyes keep drifting to you over his laptop. You finished the book in the first hour that you've been in his office. 

Now scrolling through your phone, you pretend not to notice how he stares at you over the lip of his computer.

The light from your phone highlights your swollen breasts and the CEO finds himself shifting in his seat a multitude of times. 

Just thinking about you in that room is doing things to him. He constantly tries to swat away the thought of having you in that room. But it's becoming more difficult as the hours go on.

What's so wrong with having sex with pregnant women? 

There's really nothing wrong with it per se. But he feels like they should be more paternal, no? You're carrying a child, would you also be indulging in sexual acts? 

He doesn't know how to feel anymore. Like he's thought countless times before, you're fucking with his head.

"This says that Doms and Subs have a contract," you speak aloud.

Yoongi huffs out gently, putting his hands over his face. 

You're getting too obsessed with this.

"Sometimes," he replies softly.

"Do we need to have a contract?" you ask with a smile.

He snorts gently at how pleased you look.

"No, little dove. We're not having sex, so of course there is no need for a contract." he says through gritted teeth.

You are really something else.

Crossing your legs, you scroll through the website.

He tries to focus on the many words that are staring him in the face but he keeps looking back at you as your eyes continue to light up.

"Oh! Soft limits. Let's start here," you say happily.

Yoongi puts his hands in his hair, tugging softly on the strands.

He feels like he's going crazy.

"Y/N, please," he whispers, almost begging you.

"We promised each other that we would be truthful to one another."

Rolling his eyes, he replies. "Yes, in the sense that if either of us asks a question we would answer it honestly. Not in the sense that if you suddenly find yourself on a BDSM website, you feel compelled to tell me the truth about what soft limits you're setting for yourself in a non-existent dom slash sub relationship." 

Scowling playfully, you roll your eyes.

"Well. My soft limits are as follows."

Yoongi sighs loudly, grabbing the glass of whisky off his desk to keep his thoughts at bay.

He feels his lips tugging upward as you look through the website.

So annoyingly cute sometimes.

"Breast bondage is a soft limit. Because they hurt a lot right now," you murmur.

Yoongi takes a deep breath through his nose, his eyes narrowing at you.

You're trying to rile him up. He can feel it.

"Little dove," he warns you as you lean closer to the desk.

"Nipple clamps, not sure if I'd be okay with that right now. Anal play, never done it so I'm not sure if I'd like it. Over the knee spanking, won't be able to do that soon." 

Yoongi sips his whisky slowly, letting the warmth of the alcohol curl around his muscles.

"You've never had your ass played with before?" he asks, obviously intrigued.

Got him.

"No. I've only ever been with a few people before and they didn't seem into that sort of stuff," you reply.

He scoffs gently. Your ass is one for the ages, you should have been played with.

"Maybe after you give birth, I'll show you." he suggests above the lip of his glass.

"Sounds like a promise," you quip.

He smirks gently, leaning back into his chair. "Maybe, little dove." 

"What are your limits?" you inquire, trying to push him more.

He hums, closing his laptop. Clearly, he won't be working anymore today.

"I usually only write hard limits. No fecal or piss play. No straight jackets. No pony play. Shit like that." 

"I have no idea what any of that means besides the shit play," you reply, making him laugh.

"Why are you so obsessed with this all of a sudden?" Yoongi inquires, raising his eyebrow.

"Well it's something you enjoy, so I'm curious about it! You took an interest in my painting. And, I like the idea of getting interested in what you enjoy. You seem very safe and protective of your hobby and that's great!" you say happily, leaning against the desk.

The CEO hums gently at your kind words.

"You're so sweet," he mumbles, resting his chin on his hand.

Fine, he'll play along.

"Is fisting a soft limit or a hard limit?" he inquires.

Locking your phone, you turn your chair more towards him as he throws his feet up on the desk.

"I've never tried it before but it seems painful," you reply honestly to him.

His tongue slowly licks over his lips at the simple thought of you beneath him.

"What about butt plugs? Any preference?" 

"Never tried them," you whisper, picking up your glass of water.

His lips sputter as you tilt your head. 

This feels so free and so right. It's playful and fun. The sexual tension just adds to how normal this all feels.

"You haven't tried a lot of stuff, have you?" he asks, taking his feet off the table to stand.

"No actually, I haven't. I've always been kind of prude when it came to sex. Me and you in the back room was just a one off really. I don't really do that sort of thing," you explain truthfully.

He hums in agreement, rounding the desk. "So I'm special?" 

You certainly think so.

"Maybe," you whisper, your head tilting as he steps behind your chair.

"If I show you my hobby one time, will you leave it alone?" he asks gently, bending down to your ear.

His breath is warm against your now flushing skin.

Since getting pregnant, when you aren't feeling sick or tired, you've found yourself overwhelmingly horny. It's almost a fucking sin.

"I don't think you'll be able to satiate yourself after just one time," you quip, feeling his hands run over your shoulders.

"Oh, little dove. I have the patience and strength to keep myself at bay." he replies, his lips drifting over the shell of your ear.

Yoongi thinks if he can just get this out of his system once then it'll be safer. He's been without sex for a while now and he's perfectly okay with keeping it that way. He'll just take back some wank bank footage and then he won't have to continue thinking about it.

"Will you be gentle with me?" you find yourself asking, your voice sounds small and it makes Yoongi's cock begin to harden beneath his briefs.

"I'll take very good care of you, little dove. I promise." he says, holding out his hand.

You feel excitement starting to creep through you. You've been thinking about this for a while now, if you're being honest. When you had sex with him in that back room, it was the greatest sexual experience you've ever had.

Taking his hand, you find him smiling down at you. 

"Come on, little dove. Time is money." 

His voice is more playful this time around and it makes you giggle. Winking at you, he tugs you out of the large office.

"We'll go by the color system for today, okay?" the father of your child asks softly, unlocking the secret room with his fingerprint.

"Color system?" you ask, gently.

He hums in agreement, running his hands over your sides as the door shuts behind him.

Bending down, his eyes flicker to your lips. 

God, he hasn't kissed you in so long. Is this something else he can indulge in just for today?

Taking shallow breaths, his hand cups your cheek. Your eyes flutter shut at the softness, breath hitching as you wait patiently.

This feels so right.

Without a second thought, he presses his lips to yours. 

You've almost forgotten what he tastes like. You've forgotten how excited and on edge you were in that back room.

Groaning against your lips, the tip of his tongue traces the seam for you to part for him.

His hands grip at the globes of your ass. "Jump." he whispers against your lips.

Doing as told, you mewl into the kiss. You wrap your legs around his strong waist, hands carding through his hair.

His tongue is rough over yours, taking the small gasps and moans you give to him freely.

Yoongi walks towards the bed, laying you down gently as he climbs over you.

Pulling away from you, his lips are red and raw. His eyes are hooded with lustful intentions.

You've both been thinking about this for a while now. 

"What do you say to me if you want to play?" he asks, sitting up.

Your eyes trail over his body, finally landing on his erection that strains almost painfully through his pants.

Licking your lips, your mind completely goes blank.

"Little dove, you answer me when I'm talking to you. Or have you forgotten?" Yoongi asks, running his hands over your clothed legs.

Your mouth opens to reply but it isn't fast enough for the CEO. 

Pinching your inner thigh just hard enough to cause a reaction, he smirks as you squeal softly.

"Answer me, little dove. Or I'll go back to my office and we can forget all of this playful fun," he threatens.

Pouting up at him, he simply chuckles.

"Daddy." you whisper.

"That's it." he replies, bending back down to kiss you.

You can feel your loins beginning to curl and unfurl with hopeful desires. 

"Take off your clothes only on the upper half of your body. I wanted you stripped by the time I get back to this bed," Yoongi's voice is dominating as he whispers against your lips.

Reaching up to kiss him once more, you find him already pulling away. 

"You're not going to fuck me?" you ask, quickly taking off your clothes to accommodate his words.

"No, little dove. You're pregnant," he reminds you, digging through a drawer for rope.

You roll your eyes at his words. It's always pregnant this or pregnant that.

"It's perfectly safe to have sex while I'm pregnant y'know," you tell him hopefully as you unhook your bra.

"I'm sure it is, little dove." he replies softly.

Once he finds rope that he thinks is suitable, he tugs it in his hands a few times to hear the fabric snapping back onto itself.

The sound sends a shiver down your spine, your heart starts to beat faster with excitement.

"Are you naked for me?" he asks, focusing his eyes on the many toys that hang on the wall.

"Yes," you reply, breathlessly.

He's afraid to turn around. What if he falls deeper into his lustful ways for you if he sees you so bare before him?

He has this unrelenting fascination with you so far. Something that truly makes his palms sweat. You're so good and kind, so beautiful and understanding.

What if he just continues to fall? He doesn't know how he'll be able to cope or cushion himself.

He musters his strength. 

Turning around, he takes in your swollen breasts, your veins visible against your skin from how huge they're already becoming. Your nipples are bigger, darker and puffy.

"Oh fuck," he curses under his breath.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He's not going to be able to keep this at a one off at this rate.

"Are they okay?" you ask nervously, looking down at your breasts as he continues to ogle.

"You're gorgeous," he assures you, walking slowly back over to the bed.

With the sweet compliment soothing you, you find it easy to lay back.

Drifting his thumb slowly over his bottom lip, he takes you in.

"Take off your pants," he instructs as he sits on the edge of the bed.

He watches you do as told, his eyes drifting over your breasts to the small bump that's growing slowly but surely.

You're a vision to look at. 

Unfortunately for Yoongi, he's already becoming attached to you in everything. 

"Give me your panties," he commands.

"I think you have a panty kink," you quip, throwing your underwear on his lap.

Chuckling, he stands up putting your panties into his back pocket.

"Just your panties, little dove. We're going to go over some instructions before we play, okay?" he asks, running his free hand over your bare side.

The warmth of his hand makes your body go rigid. You nod understandingly as he bends down to kiss you.

"When I'm with a new sub or," his thumb grazes over your cheek as he pulls away from you, "a very beautiful mother of my child. There needs to be rules." 

"I'm listening," you reply, earnestly.

"We're going to use the color system. Green means it's okay to keep going. Yellow means to proceed with caution. Red means to stop. If you say red at any point, that's it. It's over. We don't have to play anymore. If it gets too much you have to make sure you tell me red, do you understand?" his voice is gentle as he explains.

"Alright, that sounds fair." you say as he lets the rope fall loose from his hand.

"Can I tie you up? Is that okay with you?" 

The prospect is too good to deny. You nod with a small smile, sticking out your wrists.

"Repeat your colors for me while I tie you up, little dove." he instructs, pulling your arms over your head.

"Green for okay, yellow for slow and red for stop." you repeat for him, the neediness starting to seep into your voice. 

"Good girl," he praises you.

Pulling the rope tighter, he makes sure you have breathing room but not enough for you to get out.

"You're good at tying knots," you compliment, tugging on the restraints.

Yoongi chuckles as he slips down the bed to tie your feet. "Just call me a boy scout."

With a giggle, you wiggle your hips playfully as he travels south.

His eyes narrow up at you, a glint of happiness flitting through them as he smiles. He nips at your outer thigh, earning a gentle groan from your lips.

He doesn't even need to watch how fast his fingers move to tie you up, he could honestly do it with one hand behind his back. Instead, he decides to focus on you. To focus on how you squirm for him and how shallow your breathing is. He watches your chest heave up and down, your nipples turning into stiff peaks at his longing gaze.

He wants to remember this, remember all of this because this is a one off. And, he has to remember it as such.

Hopefully.

"You okay?" he asks, finishing up the knot tying.

"More than okay," you reply.

"We're going to try to train your orgasms, little dove. Make it so that your orgasms belong to me and only to me," his voice is gruff, the prospect of having your orgasms to himself and only himself is sending him into overdrive.

"You can do that?" you find yourself asking.

Situating himself between your stretched legs, he begins to smirk.

"I can, if you want to give your orgasms to me. Do you want that?" he asks, brushing some hair behind your ear.

While he has been caged off, you haven't been. You understand him more than ever and it would be special to have him control something so powerful. He's already given you a child, given you somewhere so grandiose to live. You can give him your carnal pleasure. 

So you nod.

"That's my girl," he whispers with a wink.

Bending down, his lips trace over your jaw. He takes in every hitched breath and every signal of rigidity as it sets into your bones.

"Your tits look so good." he compliments, earning a gentle gasp from you.

Your head turns, wanting to give him more access to the column of your neck. 

"You're going to need patience, little dove. You need to give yourself over to me completely, do you understand?" 

You can feel your arousal beginning to soak the sheets beneath you, your hands strain against the ropes begging to feel his body. "Y-Yes Daddy, I understand," you whisper softly.

"Good. I'm going to let you cum once and you tell me when you're about to cum, do you understand me?" he asks, pulling away from the shell of your ear to lock eyes with you.

You feel yourself falling into his mocha irises, can feel yourself wanting to give him your everything. "Yes."

"Good," he kisses your lips gently.

His lips continue to kiss over your skin, your hips bucking into the air for more.

"Behave or I'll stop," he threatens against the column of your throat.

Your eyes flutter shut, lips pressing into a straight line as he gently suckles on your skin.

He leaves small cherry blossom petals in his wake as he continues to lavish on your skin. 

This training is something Yoongi has always been good at. He's always thrived from being in a position of power. But for once, he has an overwhelming urge to please. Something he hasn't felt… well ever. 

Moving his hands up your side, you gasp loudly as he gently cups your breasts.

He shivers at how full they feel in his hands, how swollen and sensitive the skin is beneath his palms.

"Oh, Daddy!" you moan as he squeezes softly.

"What's your color, little dove?" he can barely contain himself above you, his cock is so hard and throbbing within the confines of his jeans.

"G-Green, Daddy. Feels so fucking good!" you whine, your head lolling back as he continues to squeeze.

"Fuck, I bet it does," he whispers, kissing over your collarbone.

Pulling away from you, he can see how flushed your skin is. He can see how swollen your clit is already becoming and he knows that he can make you cum easily without even having to touch you.

"You're a little slut, aren't you?" 

You whimper at his words. It takes you back to the night you were together.

You enjoyed hearing how dirty he could talk. How perfectly degrading his words can be.

"Your slut, Daddy. I promise," you moan out as his knees knock your legs open wider.

"Yeah, I bet you are. Pregnant with my baby and letting me take your pleasure how I see fit," he mumbles.

Biting your bottom lip, your body shudders as his thumbs swipe over your sensitive nipples. 

You gasp loudly, your body undulating beneath him.

"I've-I've wanted you to touch me for so long," you moan, tugging on the restraints. 

His lips turn upwards into a smirk at your words. He's been wanting it for a while too.

"Me too," he replies truthfully.

His thumbs and index fingers nibbley roll your nipples.

Trailing his eyes over your body, he can see how much arousal is trailing down your perineum and soaking the bed. His eyes flutter shut at how gorgeous and vulnerable you are beneath him. 

He lets his lips trail over the curve of your breast, releasing one to reach for the apex of your thighs.

Your body shudders under his touch, preening for more.

Picking up your spilt arousal on his fingers, he suckles on them. God, he almost forgot what you taste like. 

"Jesus Christ." he mumbles.

His tongue peeks out, flicking quickly at your stiff peaked nipple.

Your gasps and moans goad him on, he can barely pay attention as your breath becomes shorter and stunted.

You can feel the band within you tightening.  

You would have never thought that you could be on the brink of an orgasm with Yoongi just playing with your breasts.

"D-Daddy, I'm so close." you whine, spreading your legs wider with hopes your center will be touched.

He hums in agreement as he forsakes one breath for the other.

He makes a mental note of how sensitive you are for him. 

Suckling your nipple into his mouth, he moans against your skin. 

"Daddy, I'm cumming!" you moan loudly, your back bowing off of the bed as white hot pleasure courses through your bones. 

He pulls off of you, rolling and pinching your nipples with his fingers until you're orgasming beneath him.

Your ears ring, mouth going dry as you babble his name incessantly.

"Good girl, little dove." he praises and he raises an eyebrow as you squirt onto the sheets below you.

He takes all of this in. Every little reaction you had to his advances, all of your ques to elude to your orgasm. You'd be very easy to train. 

He waits patiently for you to come down from your orgasm, stroking your skin lovingly.

"What's your color, beautiful?" he asks softly, palming the erection in his pants.

"G-Green." you whisper, already wanting more.

You don't want this to end, and you don't want this to be a one off.

"Well aren't you just such a good little sub," he jeers, bending down to kiss you.

You could get drunk off of his kisses. They make you feel on top of the world. You want to please him, really and truly please him.

"Can I suck your cock, Daddy?" your voice is so innocent as you ask.

He groans gently, cupping your cheek. "No, little dove. That isn't a part of this." he replies, against your lips.

His hand drifts from your cheek to between your breasts before finally situating over your stomach.

He swallows thickly, feeling how hard your womb is beneath his hand.

"Please? If it's a one off, you should get pleasure, too." you suggest coyly, thrusting your breasts closer to his face.

His gummy smile appears then, almost breaking your fragile heart. "I'm already getting pleasure from seeing you beneath me."

His thumb drifts slowly over the almost invisible bump on your stomach.

You begin to pout, tugging roughly on the restraints that hold you bound.

"Yoongi, please?" you whisper, eyebrows furrowing as you beg.

He sighs gently, his bottom lip purchasing between his teeth as he thinks.

He really shouldn't. This isn't right.

"You're pregnant," his excuse is sounding weaker and weaker every time he says it.

"So? Doesn't mean I can't suck your dick, Daddy. Wouldn't you like to feel my breasts in your hands while I suck you off?" 

He groans gently at your questions, you can see his cock throbbing at your words.

"Little dove," he says breathlessly.

"I'll swallow for you, Daddy. Let you cum in my mouth." you whisper, laying back on the bed.

His eyes roll back at the prospect of it all.

"Maybe when my tits get bigger and filled with milk, you can suckle on them." 

"Jesus, when the fuck did your mouth get so filthy?" he wants to sound appalled but it comes out amused and turned on, as it should.

"Guess you'll have to clean it out. Let me suck your cock." you reply with a smirk.

"Oh fuck." he grumbles, unbuttoning his pants.

"This is a one off!" he reminds you gruffly, tugging down his pants and brief.

Untying your hands, he sighs gently to himself. He's going to give you whatever the fuck you want from now on, isn't he? What the fuck is wrong with him?

As you wait patiently for him to finish untying you, you stare at his cock as it rests against his stomach.

Even on the first night you were together, it's still a beautiful sight.

"This is supposed to be training." he mutters to himself.

You giggle to yourself as your wrists become free.

With over zealous confidence, you press your hands to his chest. Shoving him down, he laughs loudly.

"Watch yourself, little dove!" he chides, holding your hips steady as you straddle him.

You wrinkle your nose playfully at him and he can only smirk.

Man, you're infectious.

It feels good. Like, tingles inside of oneself and giddiness in spades.

Gripping both hands onto his shirt, you raise your eyebrows.

"This shirt was made in Italy." he warns you.

With a careless shrug you rip it open, hearing the buttons pop and scatter along the marble floor.

He shakes his head with a chuckle as you stare down at his toned body.

God, he's so fucking hot.

Your eyes drift over the planes of his abs and they get softer as you look at the small circular burn marks from cigarettes.

"Wait," he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut.

You keep your eyes on his face as you bend down. 

"I don't normally let people touch my-- oh, God," he cries out as your lips drift over his skin.

Your lips feel healing against his skin. His hands grip at your sides rougher as you take your time worshipping his stomach.

His breathing is ragged and his palms are becoming sweaty.

"You're very handsome," you say, kissing over the biggest burn.

His body shivers and undulates under your touch.

He's never felt such odd comfort before.

"O-Okay. Little dove, e-enough," he practically begs.

Maybe he needs training too. Training on how to be loved.

You take pity on him, leaving his burn marks alone for now. 

He sighs gratefully, bringing his hand to his face to wipe away tears he didn't know had even arrived.

"You're so sweet, little dove." he mumbles, carding his fingers through your hair.

You smile up at him kindly, the act making his heart beat quicker inside of his chest.

Focusing back on the task at hand, you run your lips over his long length earning a hiss through clenched teeth from the father of your child below you.

"Fuck," he curses, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail.

Wrapping your hand around his length, you watch precum begin to pearl incessantly at the seam of his mushroom head.

You look up at him for confirmation and he smirks at your subservience. 

"Very good, little dove. You may." he says, gripping your hair tighter with anticipation.

Swirling your tongue around the head, you take immense pleasure in the way he groans. The groan is long and stunted and you know you're pleasing him already.

"That's it, baby." 

The pet name slips so freely and he doesn't take it back as you bow your head down farther.

"Fuuuck, keep going." he instructs.

Licking his tongue over his lips, he curses gently beneath his breath as you begin a rhythm.

Stroking whatever doesn't fit in your mouth, you can hear words of praise leaving his lips like a prayer.

Your arousal has started to drip down your thighs at this point and Yoongi stares for the longest time, dying to be inside of you.

"Take it all. Like you did the night we made our baby," he commands.

With a gentle moan, you swallow around him. Gagging and sputtering on his cock, your vision becomes blurry with tears.

"Fuck, you're so good at sucking my cock. Jesus Christ!" he moans loudly, his eyes rolling back as you hollow your cheeks around him.

His free hand comes up to palm your swollen breast, being as gentle as he can in the throes of his pleasure.

"You're all mine, huh? I can just take you up here whenever the fuck I want, can't I?" he asks through gritted teeth.

His mouth is getting looser as his pleasure takes over.

You moan in agreement, getting sloppier on his cock. Precum and spittle stream down your chin as you continue to please him.

"You're such a bad girl, little dove. You're too good at sucking my cock, gonna make me want you over and over again."

That's the plan.

With a gentle whine, you let him into the recesses of your throat. His head falls back to the bed, his hips gyrating and thrusting on their own.

"Little pregnant slut, begging to be full of me when she's got my kid inside her. That what you want? You want to be my pregnant slut?" 

You moan loudly against his cock as he begins to precum once more.

Tugging his hand off of your breast, you pull it to your parted thighs.

He curses loudly, feeling how much of your arousal is soaking his fingers. He begins to rub quick circles on your swollen clit, feeling it throb beneath the pads of his fingers.

"You're gonna kill me." he threatens through gritted teeth.

Rocking your hips in time with his fingers, you practically lose yourself when his cock begins to throb for release in your throat.

"Squeeze my thigh when you're about to cum." he warns you and you moan in reply.

Everything about this is so perfect and so yours.

You forget everything going on besides just the two of you in this bed.

It's like it's meant to be.

"Messy little thing," he praises, letting your hair go to wipe your chin.

Sitting up on one elbow, he watches you in your entranced pleasure.

He can feel himself coming to an end but he edges himself, pushing away his orgasm until you do.

With a loud whine, you squeeze his thigh harshly begging to cum for him.

"Uh uh. You wait until Daddy says you can cum." 

You mewl sadly around his cock, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Countdown from ten and then cum." he instructs.

Doing as told you count slowly, breathing shallowly through your nose as he continues to fuck up into your mouth. 

Reaching ten, you squeeze his thigh again.

"Good girl. Cum." 

On his command you cum around his cock. Moaning and undulating as you see stars.

He curses loudly, feeling the vibrations in your throat around his pulsing cock.

"Swallow." he groans out, falling back onto the bed as his thrusts become sloppy.

With a few more thrusts, streams of his cum meet the back of your throat.

You swallow diligently, adoring the taste of him with a whine.

He groans breathlessly, his eyes fluttering shut as he becomes boneless on the bed.

"What the fuck did you do that for?!" he asks, putting his hand over his heart. 

Swallowing all of him, you let your mouth hang open. He grips at your chin, pulling your face down to his eye level.

"Good," he replies in a whisper.

He sighs loudly, running his hands through his hair.

What just fucking happened? 

How did that just turn into some of the best foreplay he's ever had?!

"That was a one off?" you quip, sitting back against the headboard.

He rolls his eyes, sitting up at the end of the bed.

"That was a one off?" he retorts with a whiny voice, grabbing his briefs.

Your mouth falls open as he stands up off the bed.

"You're mocking me!?" you gasp loudly.

"Shut up." he mumbles with a chuckle, bending down to kiss you softly.

His eyes widen at how normal that is before he's pulling away quickly. 

"This was a bad idea!" he says quickly, grabbing his pants. 

You watch how nervous he is and it makes you sad. He doesn't even know what normal is.

"Was it a bad idea? Or are you just scared?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

He picks up his shirt, looking at the broken buttons.

"This shirt was from Italy! I had it hand stitched by a ninety eight year old woman living in Florence!" he yells, shaking the shirt in the air.

"Well buy a new one, you love buying stuff." you suggest.

"She could be dead before I get my next order in!" he replies, shaking his fist quicker.

"Are you ignoring my question because you're embarrassed?" you ask, tilting your head.

He grunts angrily, busying himself with untying the knots.

"Miss Therapist, keep your questions to yourself!" he cries out, giving up on the knot untying.

He paces back and forth, his hands in his hair.

"You could kiss me again, that might be an idea." you suggest.

He grits his teeth, his mind running a mile a minute.

This was just a bad idea all together. He should have NEVER given in! He should have just ignored it like he always does. He's still falling, maybe even faster now.

Fuck!

You can see his eyes flickering back and forth nervously.

"Okay!" you cry out, clapping your hands.

Jumping off of the bed, you step into his path. He stares into your eyes as you look up at him.

Grabbing your wrist, he struggles against you slightly. You tuts your tongue, placing his hand on your stomach.

He looks up at the ceiling, pieces of black hair falling into his eyes. 

"It's not wrong that we did what we did. If anything it was nice. Don't let your guilt eat at you," you tell him.

He sighs loudly. 

"I just don't… know how to feel. You know how I get by now…" he replies softly.

"I do know. And, that's why I'm telling you it's okay," you promise.

He closes his eyes for a mere second. Looking back down at you, his eyes open.

His gaze fixes to his hand on your stomach. Then to your swollen breasts which are now covered in small marks made by him.

"We're being truthful with one another still?" he asks.

"Always," you reply earnestly.

He takes a moment, pulling you over to the bed.

"This just feels right, it feels too good… I've never felt this or had this before. And, when I thought I was getting it, well… look at that catastrophe." his voice falls flat, looking down at the marble floor.

"You still have to learn what happiness is, Yoongi. You don't have to be afraid to feel something new. And, if you do then you can tell me all about it. I'm just across the hall." you whisper, nudging your shoulder against his.

Warmth is the first thing he feels after he hears your words.

"This wasn't a one off, was it?" he mutters, earning a laugh from you.

"Doesn't have to be." you reply as he puts his shirt on.

"What if I get the urge to kiss you?" he sounds shy as he asks you.

"Then just do it. You have my permission," you say simply.

He smiles to himself gently, his eyes drifting over your naked body.

"Well, that sounds okay then." he says softly. 

With a hum, you kiss his cheek.

"What if I want to kiss all the time?" he asks, pulling your clothes away from your hands.

"Well, maybe not all the time," you jeer, laying back on the bed.

"But you said I have to learn happiness, and maybe kissing makes me happy." 

You giggle at his sweetness. "I think you're going crazy."

"Me too." he whispers, bowing his head down to kiss you.

As you continue to kiss slowly, your stomach rumbles hungrily.

"Someone's hungry." Yoongi mumbles against your lips.

Smirking against his lips, you feel your clothes return to your lap.

"Can I have my underwear?" you ask, putting your bra on.

"No. They're mine." he replies, helping you put on your pants.

"What, are you making a Y/N pantie collection?" you quip, slipping your arms through the sleeves of your shirt.

Yoongi takes in this moment, feeling how compassionate and fun you are. How absolutely radiating with beauty you are. 

"If you're a good girl, maybe." he jeers back, helping you stand up.

Snorting gently, you roll your eyes.

"Can't believed you ripped my fucking shirt, like a pregnant wild animal." he mumbles, motioning his arm for you to walk first. 

Laughing together, you open the room door.

Standing before you is Maya, a hand on her hip and an eyebrow quipped up to the sky.

"Jesus!" you both yell at the sight of her.

With a small smirk, she simply shrugs.

"Madam. Sir." she says, happiness enrapturing her voice as she takes off down the hall to his office with a feather duster in hand.

Yoongi snorts loudly, tugging his shirt closed. 

If this is what happiness is, he might just be okay with delving into it.

"Let's go get you some food, little dove."

Next Chapter ----->

Third Wheeling Taglist -  @wickizer, @imluckybitches, @slothykreuger, @claireelise19, @ggukkieland, @rspbrryy, @iv-bts, @bambuzlee, @chanelbts, @mxxngxdss, @bluewhale52, @milesjeon11, @diamonddia-mond, @vinylphwoar, @yxnxxli, @hubbytaehyung, @140503at-dawn, @bts-7beauts, @jadeblackwoll, @sunshiine-hobii, @creatorspalace, @eclectically-esoteric, @nikkiordonez12, @kaitswrld, @skamlover200, @sevgilove98, @kooeuphoria, @jikooksgirl19, @hobbledehoy26, @singular-itae, @dchimminie, @lowlifeoeuvre, @sugaslittlekookies, @bloopbloopb, @pjmcth, @softysuho, @codeinbelle, @jaiuneamesolitaiire, @betysotelo18, @jeonmisha, @iwanttohitmyself, @ayyyocee, @neverthefirstchoice, @itsbangtanoclock, @little7bitchh, @veryuniquenamegoeshere, @deathkat657, @firstlovesuga-93, @namjoonia, @paperpurple, @muzikabijou, @liebeoppa, @veronawrites, @kleff03, @ruinsofangels, @brightwingr5, @leekanchol, @rkivemagic, @ithinkileftmycoatoutside, @melaninkpops, @y00ngisbabygirl, @ungodlyjoon, @prochnost513, @dunixxd, @athenakyle, @igotnotype, @chxmachxps, @tinymintyoongi, @vangameren-blog, @alpaca1612, @ohcarolinamin, @thegreatestsushi, @jooniebuggy, @eltrain80, @btsmylife21, @deeepvibes, @httpminyg, @deliciouslydisturbed365, @rkchmestizangmaldita, @jimin-chu, @pimpnameyannie, @preciouschimine, @daughterofthequeen, @monetsberet, @vanillamyg, @aamxxrii, @kooafraid, @ladykadyrova, @singjisu, @yazanii, @moonlitmyg, @justzeera, @absolutefantrash, @whocaresarchives, @loosewindmill, @vantesfx, @bt21chim, @flowerboyhobi, @kozuume-kenma​, @taepiper​

Sorry for those it didn’t tag!

[thotforbaku]

Hi! I wasn’t sure how to send a request, but could you write a one shot for shouto x fem! reader? Maybe they’re on a date or in the dorms (idk aha go crazy) and he’s super gentlemanly and soft! Ft. Class 1-A catching/following them! Thank you so much!

hello! yes, this was the correct way to request, haha. thank you for being my first request! i hope my writing fulfilled your request to your satisfaction. if not, lmk asap! i’ll try to change it around for you :)

word count: 1.6k

»»——⍟——««

Contrary to popular belief, Todoroki was actually quite perceptive. He knew he didn’t have the best track record, i.e. his hand crusher moments and the whole “Midoriya being All Might’s secret love child” conspiracy. Regardless, he still picked up on the smallest things, especially when it came to his classmates.

When Kaminari forgot his homework, volts would zap from his fingertips as he drummed them on his desk nervously. When Mina was eavesdropping, her feet would be pointing towards whoever she was listening to. Dark Shadow snuck out occasionally during class, signaling that Tokoyami was running low on sleep from studying the night before.

And then there was you.

He hadn’t particularly tried to focus all of his attention on to you initially. No, you were just another one of his classmates. He wasn’t interested at all, nor was he interested in anybody, really.

It was only when he encountered you at the sports festival that he took a liking to you.

Not only was your quirk powerful, but you yourself held an immense presence nobody could ignore. Your water manipulation quirk was controlled well by you, and you utilized it to the best of your ability. Besides this, however, he knew absolutely nothing about you.

You were an enigma, to him and everyone else around you. But he bet no one wanted to know you like he did.

He wanted to know you from the inside out, from head to toe. He wanted to know your favorite color, food, and movie. He wanted to know how were feeling on a daily basis. He had a desire, no, a need to know all of these things, yet he only knew one: you were tired.

You were absolutely, oh so very tired.

Now, anyone would have been able to tell this, if they took a good look at your swollen eyebags or your lethargic behavior. Todoroki has been seeing you train for hours on end, ever since Aizawa-sensei and you discovered your new ability: controlling water within one’s body. This allowed you to try and control one’s body movements against their will; it was an extremely manipulative, powerful technique.

But it was taking a severe toll you. Todoroki saw the aspirin you would take daily, and heard the extra strength pills rattling in your bag. He would see you pinch your eyebrows together in pain and screw your eyes shut whenever Bakugou would start screaming his head off. He wanted to help you, somehow in some way. He felt that you needed a break from your constant repetitive schedule of school, training, extra training, and sleeping. He wanted you to relax, to be able to talk to someone, and to pretend the world is stopping. He wanted to be there for you, for when you crash and fall down to help you back up again. He wanted you, unconditionally.

So imagine his surprise when you said yes to him asking to hang out.

It may have taken a little insistence on his part, and explanation that yes, he wanted it to be a date, but he did it. But now that you actually said yes, he honestly had no clue where to come from here.

So he pulled out the big guns.

At 5:00 in the evening, two hours before your training would end and come up to his room, he decided to start preparing food in the kitchen. Sure, it was a date, but he knew you were too tired to attempt to exit the dorms after a long day. So, he had the amazing idea of a movie night within his own dorm.

Of course, the food wasn’t anything too fancy, in his eyes. The only food he knew how to make really well was soba. Cold, soba.

But he made it damn well, and he knew it.

Todoroki had whipped up the soba immediately, and placed it within bowls to bring it up to his room later. He ignored the side eyes and surprised looks he received while he was moving around in the kitchen, and shuffling through the pantry. He only looked up when he heard someone clearing their throat.

“So, Todoroki-kun, you seem real busy.... Got a hot date?” Kaminari joked, grinning lazily as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Kaminari stopped at his straightforward reply, his grin frozen on his face, as he processed Todoroki’s reply. The common room went silent, as they also heard the conversation take place.

“Y-You’re— who?” Kaminari stuttered, eyes bugged out as he splayed out his hands in front of him. He opened his mouth to reply, but saw you shuffle through the front doors, hunched over like you had the world’s weight on your shoulders.

“With her.” Todoroki responded as he made his way towards you. He silently slipped your backpack off your shoulder and onto his, balancing the food on one arm and taking your hand onto his.

“How was training?” He asked, rubbing a thumb gently over the side of your hand, looking at your from the side.

“Tiring. I want to flop onto a bed and never get up.” You responded quietly, sagging even further.

“That’s exactly what you’re about to do.” Todoroki gave you a small smile as he unlaced your fingers from his, and unlocking his door.

“Huh?”

“I figured you’d be too tired to try and leave the dorms today, especially after all the training you’ve done. I know you’ve just been wanting to relax, so I figured our date could just be watching movies together.” Todoroki explained as he laid out the food on his desk and unfolding his futon.

“I.....” You seemed to trail off, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at the ground. Todoroki hesitantly looked at you, afraid of what your reply was going to be now that you weren’t immediately answering. Did he do something wrong? Were you not a fan of movies? These thoughts raced through his head as he was cursing himself for not being more considerate.

“This is really thoughtful of you Todoroki-kun. I was worried that I wouldn’t be up to speed for our date, but to know that we’re just having a quiet night in the dorms? I... really appreciate it.” You looked back up, a tired but wide grin on your face, your eyes crinkling. He let out a small sigh of relief, and sat down on the futon, pulling out his laptop and setting it on his kotatsu. He patted the seat lightly next to him, smiling as you sat down, your knee brushing his.

“That’s good to hear. And, since we’re on a date currently, I think I’d feel more comfortable with you calling me by my given name.” He told you as he ripped open a bag of chips, passing it to you. You nodded in thanks, and quirked your lips in thought, mulling over what he said. You then nodded, seemingly comfirning your thoughts.

“Okay, Shouto-kun. What do you have planned for the night?” You asked, taking a chip and placing it in your mouth.

“A Studio Ghibli marathon.” You paused at his reply. He looked at you puzzled. He seemed to catch a lot of people off-guard today.

“.... I haven’t watched a Miyazaki film since my childhood..” You sighed, grinning at him happily. He stared at the grin painted on your face, burning it into his memory. He saw you smile twice now in one sitting, and he would cherish it for a long, long time.

“I did a good job of choosing the movies then, didn’t I?” He asked you, softly smiling as he offered you a bowl of a soba, already breaking his chopsticks in two. You clapped happily as his perfectly broke, passing yours to his to repeat it.

“You really did, Shouto-kun. I really can’t thank you enough. I was surprised when you had asked me out a date, I didn’t think you cared enough to talk to me.” You confessed, fiddling with a string on your jumper as you glanced up at him. He nodded simply, ducking his head to meet your eyes.

“I can see why I’d come off that way. I definitely wasn’t the most approachable in the beginning of the year. But with everything’s that happened, I realized that shutting everyone out wasn’t the best thing to do. And ignoring you, when I had a clear interest in you, definitely wasn’t either. You intrigue me so much. I want to find out and know every little thing about you. Will you let me?” He asked you, sincerity bleeding into his tone, his eyes darting all over your face.

“Of course.” You clasped both your hands over his, squeezing tightly. He let out another short sigh, shoulders sagging forward.

“Then let’s start the movie, shall we?” He leaned forward, and tapped the space bar, letting the blue light of the intro shine brightly onto your face. He smiled as he felt your head rest upon his, and brushed his hand over your knee.

It was finally his turn to try and unveil someone and their secrets. And it just so happened to be you.

____________________________________

“....Was someone at the door, Shouto-kun?”

“No, I believe the rest of the class is downstairs.”

Kaminari sighed in relief as Jirou continued to hold one of her ears the door, relaying the date to the rest of the classmates silently standing in the hallway.

“I can’t believe he bagged her before me.” Kaminari cried, blowing his nose into his sleeve. His classmates cursed at his noise, and scattered, scared of getting caught. “Wait, where are you guys going?”

“...Are you sure there’s no one there, Shouto-kun?”

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

Building bridges, the art of not being lonely.

Fraxusweek (hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus) day 5 mdudes! 

Prompt: Losing control

For Freed, rigid rules formed the foundation of his very being. Mind you, the rules he decided to follow almost religiously were never ones placed upon him by others. He had followed enough of those in a past lingering in the backlog of his mind and returning to following them would certainly end with his mind in a state he'd long since forcefully abandoned. Self-administered rules were the only ones Freed Justine considered worth following.

Throughout his early teenage years, one rule was heeded above all. Don't get close to anyone and don't let anyone got close. It was an obvious rule, one that would keep him from getting hurt by less than savoury individuals and more importantly, one that would keep him from hurting people who'd end up being nice. Freed knew how to roll with seedy people, spoke the language of schemers as he was one himself, but had never known how to let genuinely kind people in.

Rest of the fic under the cut!

The first time he'd met someone kind, Freed ended up stabbing them in the back. His jaded thirteen year old mind could not get behind the principle of someone reaching out to him and meaning it. Although Bickslow had never acted out of line, hadn't graced Freed with anything but his joyful, loud self, Freed had seen it as nothing but a farce.

The older boy had basically him in as they travelled together, shared his food with him and held him when nights got cold, Freed always protesting that he could brave it without his help. Bickslow, in his natural elderly brother way, had claimed that it was him that was cold and needed Freed's bodywarmth. Huffing and puffing, Freed had always given up, gratefully soaking up the other's warmth without ever verbally expressing his gratitude.

He had thrown all that gratitude for Bickslow's kindness in the wind though when some policemen had managed to arrest him for a petty crime. A measly loaf of bread, meant for two hungry children, had been enough to get him into serious trouble. As Bickslow was getting arrested, Freed had picked up the abandoned loaf and ran. The last thing he saw, was the heartbroken expression on his friend's face. Quickly suppressing the guilt, he only ran faster. This world wasn't and would never be kind to gentle people. It was a lesson Bickslow had to learn the hard way, Freed reminded himself and he'd keep repeating it over and over.

Life was a lonely, Freed realised quickly after that, but the realisation that he was the one making it lonely wouldn't really hit him until he was twenty years old. Fourteen year old Freed though, got taken in by a girl just as lonely as he was.

Unlike Bickslow, who had been open and trusting, Evergreen was anything but. Whenever she spoke, it was with thorns and needles lacing her words and if one took the time to pry those away, it became clear that she too, was kind. She and Freed held sparring matches and bonded quickly over other little things. During their small talks it was obvious how much Evergreen longed for a genuine friend and although Freed found himself resonating with that sentiment, he never really gave into it. Evergreen was his closest friend and even she was held at an arm's distance. He could tell a whole lot about her, but made sure that she'd never be able to tell anyone any details about himself.

Even when he met Bickslow again, Freed could never really let go of the loneliness that was his closest friend and most dear armour. He'd expected screams, shouts of frustration and maybe even physical violence. What he didn't expect though was the thing that actually ended up happening. With a firm and gentle hand, Bickslow had planted his palm on Freed's hair, a comforting, brotherly gesture. "So you made a new friend? Introduce me to her, won't ya? A friend of yours is one of me. I'm glad that you haven't been lonely."

Their rekindled friendship had privately made Freed happier than he'd imagined being, a sentiment he didn't relay to his friends. Keeping them at an arm's distance was what's best for them, he'd decided. He couldn't hurt them if they weren't within his reach, he concluded. And yet, he formed a team with them. He appointed himself captain, hoping that at least his mind could protect them and himself from his heart.

After a few missions, they approached Laxus Dreyar, the guildmaster's grandson and more conveniently, an s-class mage, with the question to join him. Meeting Laxus Dreyar was Freed's introduction to a new enigma, a new puzzle he'd like to shuffle the pieces around of. The man's heart bled for other people, a fact obvious to Freed but for some reason not to many others. It was amusing for a while, watching him care and hid it all away under a cover with thick layers.

Maybe Freed was attracted to kindred spirits, lonely souls who had the opportunity to pull themselves out of it, but not the mental bravery, all of them too familiar with rejection from former friends and family. Laxus did differ from them there though. Unlike Freed's, Ever's or Bickslow's, Laxus' family did not completely reject him, in fact they loved him. It was Laxus who rejected them. Jealousy was an ugly thing, Freed realised, but decided to bury that too before it could fester too much. He'd distance himself enough from that emotion to not feel the repercussions of it.

With Laxus came s-class missions, something that Freed loved above anything. The higher difficulty of their missions, awakened Freed's battle spirit more and more, the thrill of adrenaline yanking out every halted emotion and he'd never cried or laughed more than on the battlefield. Of course, this newly opened hole in the dam, made the damn dam break and it was during one of these missions that Freed completely lost control.

He'd been laughing over something, intent malicious, vicious, he had wanted nothing but intimidate his enemy before obliterating him completely. It felt good, he felt powerful, he felt on top of the world. That sense of euphoria is all Freed remembered of the incident. That and then waking up again, destruction all around, his friends not spared and the lingering sense of an all-powerful exhilaration even as he laid eyes on the devastation he had brought forth.

The guilt crashed into him way too late and so he vowed to never, ever let it come to that again. The emotional bridge he'd built between his friends and himself become larger and the depth beneath him threatened to swallow him whole. It never did though, because although their friendship wasn't all-powerful, it still had its moments of genuine emotional openess that ran deeper than anyone of them wanted to.

But they were young and tired to the bone, so they let the moments pass, indulged in them. Thanks to this, Freed learned to weaponize some of his darker powers. There were still depths he'd never try discovering, but he'd fear there'd be no one to come and get him from the bottom. Weaponized vulnerability was all Freed allowed himself for now.

Then the battle of fairy tale came and went and the weaponized part of being vulnerable was hammered down (wasn't that ironic?). Gone was the armour and there was just a man, lonely but for the first time in his life, ready to not be anymore. He had his friends already, they were there, he would just have to reach out. And so Freed did and broke his most important rule. He hugged his friends and cried with them and it was gross, sweaty, too warm and also the most comfortable thing he'd ever done. He had also waved a friend goodbye that day (and was already looking forward to meeting him again, as they would both be better men then).

Not being lonely was working and working hard, breaking down age-old walls and learning to trust both old and new friends. It was rewarding work though and embarrassing as it was, maybe he'd cried a little bit when his brithday came around and Lucy and Levy had given him a book (I know you enjoy this series) and Mira him a cake (we cook together, do you really think you can hide your tastes from me?). Evergreen and Bickslow had invited themselves for a sleepover and they had fallen asleep in a pile of bodies. Once again gross, sweaty, too warm and very, very comfortable (or at least until Evergreen nearly raptured his appendix by elbowing him in her sleep).

When Laxus came back, permanently, Freed found himself crossing the bridge them first. It quickly became apparent that Laxus, although a caring and compassionate man, was graced  with an awkward mess of a character. It shouldn't be as endearing as it was.

Quickly, Freed noted that the bridge they were walking on, was one of more than friendship. Both of them were still amending, finding themselves, finding ways to be more real and honest, but there was no rule they couldn't do it hand in hand.

[salenakingston]

Decided to forgo the prompt thing this time around and write a little something that came to my head on my way home from work. Been writing a lot more backstory related stuff to the main trio, and I don’t intend to stop. It’s so fun to play around with.

Prompt: None

Warnings: Medical Procedures (minor), Blood

Timeline of Events: Whitegale Estate (Backstory)

Total Word Count: 3,117 words

The halls of this estate seemed to just go on and on. Guess that was to be expected when being invited to a place like this. The Whitegale name was one that stretched far beyond the reaches of Sweden, for a number of reasons. Alexander’s wealth and power was nothing to scoff at, but more than that, it was what he had chosen to do with it. He could very well be running his own country with the number of contacts he had, and the people that flocked to him on the promise of a good paycheck. The Whitegales never seemed to be short of work.

And that’s why he was here.

News articles continued to pile up on top of one another, the gap between his own kills becoming shorter and shorter. It seemed that since discovering his project had been a failure, he was not allowed much room to breathe. The demon had put up with him before then, no doubt already knowing the outcome before even his host had learned the price of dealing with those that were already dead.

Magic was real, but even in this new world, there were laws that had to be obeyed. No one could come back from the dead without being broken. Pleas and cries haunted the mind, be it in the waking world or when asleep.

He couldn’t stay at his office anymore, not without risking getting caught. His brain argued with him that he deserved to be taken in. He had lost count of how many lives he had stolen away, be it from those that deserved death or not. He did not care so long as he could get a laugh out of it. He would take.. And take.. And take until there was nothing left of who he once was. Life was slipping away from his fingers.

Sometimes he even wondered what the point of fighting was anymore.

Malceum had found himself on the steps of the estate, mostly by chance. Forced to flee his home country. It was quite the jump to make, Germany to Sweden. Anywhere else might have been a better idea, a place where he might be able to isolate himself so that he couldn’t thrive off the thrill of others… but there was one thing that drew him in to the promise the Whitegales proposed.

Stability.

A roof over his head.

A job.

He could be left wandering country to country without the promise of being able to see anyone. No one owed him anything, and he couldn’t very well work and move at the same time. He needed a new place to call his own. While the estate itself didn’t belong to him, since Alexander had taken him in, he was granted his own space along with the other medical personnel in the building. He had work, or at the very least, something to keep him occupied. On the plus side, with so many people around, he couldn’t just do as he pleased. Someone would notice if one of the staff went missing, or if he had slipped out of the building.

It was a bit of a win win actually.

Unfortunately, it didn’t keep the hollow’s witty commentary silenced.

Alexander had called upon him specifically for a task. Guess the man himself had been impressed by the surgeon’s work. At least that’s what he assumed before stepping inside the office. It was for a stranger reason that he had been chosen. Alexander’s wife had seen him in a vision. Said woman was quite the enigma. Seeing her was rare outside of briefings and events. He had gazed into her unseeing eyes, and could swear that she was somehow still staring back at him. It was enough to unsettle anyone.

He didn’t believe her vision, at least when it seemed like it was something so minor. It was just another surgical job. What did it matter if he was the one who did it, or someone else. Alexander had explained that he never questioned anything his wife had seen, nor was surprised at Malceum’s skeptic tone.

Well… whatever. He had a job to do.

Returning him back to his path through the halls. He had finally managed to figure out where he was going, though it probably helped that he dropped the files he had been flipping through from his eyesight. Anything already on a person’s medical record could help him to understand his patient’s body. Their strengths and weaknesses, at least on a physical level, and what kind of treatments one had already undergone. Which worked, and which ones did not.

But this file just left him dumbfounded.

It was for someone by the name ‘Salena Kingston.’ The first thing that struck him as odd was the inclusion of a ‘species’ tag on her records. Species? It labeled her a wolf, but this had to be some kind of mistake. True, magic was a possibility, but this just seemed too much of a stretch as to what could be considered real now. Humans seeing the future? Believable at the very least. Humans channeling enough energy to bring the souls of others back from the dead? He had seen it first hand. Humanized animals? Unheard of.

Brushing past this mistake, he got into the meat of her records. It baffled him that the list of problems with her physical attributes grew longer and longer with each person that had seen her, yet they had all cleared her to return to duty. Were all of them so negligent with their jobs, doing this on purpose so they could make another sum of money from their wealthy employer? Or was this Alexander’s own doing? It was clear he had contact with everyone on his medical team. Surely he wouldn’t be worse than the doctors.

Well, he wasn’t going to be like them.

Malceum stopped as he came to the medical wing. He knew the path here, but not to this specific room. It seemed strange to be directed to one room, as many others he had taken care of were spread through to whichever space was available. This was ‘her room.’ Just how often was this person here to have a room all of her own?

The surgeon steeled himself, and then opened the door. Strange that this door requires a pin number to open, sliding rather than opening like any normal door.

A pair of blue eyes peered over at him.

The door shut behind him, effectively locking him in the room with a literal beast. So that species part of her documents hadn’t been a typo after all. There, sitting in the bed, was a wolf with a humanized figure. He couldn’t find one thing to focus on, his eyes moving all around her. Her red face markings, visible scars across the top of her muzzle and neck, the curved notches in her ears, the traces of bags under her eyes, but mostly that piercing gaze that fell on him.

A gaze that seemed to be narrowing the longer he stood still. He even found his hands shaking slightly. No, it wasn’t fear that was causing this. He seemed delighted by this turn of events.

“Hey.”

What? Oh that was her voice.

“Are you going to stand there gawking at me, or are you actually going to do your job?”

Malceum was taken aback. Never in all his career could he recall a patient speaking to him in such a way. Annoyance replaced his surprised expression. Oh, he could tell he wasn’t going to enjoy taking care of this one. He set her file down on the small table next to her bed. As he drew closer, he noticed the tubes sticking out of her nose, a tank on the opposite side from where he was standing. Oxygen? Was she having trouble breathing? There were so many problems on the list, it was likely his brain skipped over it, much like the fact of her ‘species.’

“Hey.”

“Y-Yes, st-top.”

His hands were shaking again. She’ll be fun to play with.

Y-You ca-an’t-t.

Oh I’ll find a way.

He gave an audible sigh, an eyebrow raised on the woman? Wolf? In bed. Right, he must look like a crazy person. She was glaring at him at this point, so he might as well match her attitude, “W-well M-Ms. Kin-ngs-ston, I can h-hones-stly s-say in all m-my l-lif-fe I’ve n-nev-ver se-e-een s-som-meo-one as b-brok-ken as y-you are a-and-d s-stil-ll w-wil-llin-ng to m-mout-th off t-the p-per-rson w-who’s-s b-been a-assig-gned to h-help you.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble Sorrowgrave. You’re hardly the first person to be assigned to me as you put it.”

She knew who he was? He hadn’t even been here that long, and he’d never seen her before. Did Alexander tell her about him before summoning him? He mentally shook off that train of thought, scoffing at her, “S-So I’ve s-see-en, a-and it s-seem-ms n-non-ne of t-them-m h-have b-bee-en t-treat-tin-ng you p-pr-rop-perly.”

“And you think you can do better?”

“I k-know-w I c-can.”

“Doubtful.”

Now he was getting more than just annoyed. Were it not for the mask covering his mouth, he was sure his sharpened teeth would be flashing to accompany his growl, “Y-You d-doub-bt my s-sk-kills-s?”

Her tone didn’t change. From the moment she first started talking to him, it seemed she was intent on holding onto her level of sass, but content. Was it acceptance? It was too soon to tell. She didn’t shut up, “Oh no, I’m sure you’re great at what you do. I’m just saying I doubt there’s anything you can do that the other doctors haven’t already tried, or improve upon. My body’s fucked.”

Und-der-rst-tatem-ment-t.

“T-Then-n c-care to ex-xp-plain to m-me w-why y-you’v-ve b-bee-en cl-lear-red e-ev-ver-ry s-sin-ngle t-tim-me y-you’ve b-bee-en h-her-re wh-hen ev-ven you are a-awa-are th-hat s-somet-th-hing is w-wron-ng w-with you?”

“Have you been paying attention? I told you there’s nothing that you can do to improve my condition. You’ll either clear me like the rest of them or I spend the rest of my life sitting in bed. Sounds far too dull.”

“Wh-hy are y-you h-her-re t-then?”

The bitch seemed to roll her eyes at that question, “Did Alexander not even bother to tell his new surgeon why he was being sent here? Just send him off with a file and expect him to wing it?”

Obviously she wasn’t pleased, but was that directed at him, or at her employer? She had to be working for the man if she was in her own private room, but also referred to the Whitegale man by his first name. How was it that she seemed more annoyed than he was having to put up with this? He glared over at the file, as if it had committed a crime by simply being in the room, “H-he s-said his w-wif-fe s-saw me h-her-re in a v-vis-sion.”

That was the thing that seemed to shut her up. Her attitude melted away, head moving up slightly from its slouched over position, “Cassandra saw you? I see.”

So she knew something about the man’s wife too. Just what was so special about this woman and what she could see? Why was it a driving force for so many decisions made around here? It was largely irrelevant for the present moment. He still had a job to do. He found his face easing slightly, “N-Now t-th-hen. W-What-t are y-you in f-for t-tod-day?”

“I need stitches. The staff have been able to do what they could for the wounds, but they won’t heal properly without that work, and Alexander won’t let me do the ones I can reach myself. I’ve been instructed not to move as much until someone got here to take care of the problem.”

She’s capable of doing her own stitch work? Perhaps their employer didn’t want her to do it, feeling more confident with a professional surgeon on staff. Guess his reputation from his home country had something to do with that.

There was a spot for Malceum to prepare for this small task, doing his best to get his hands to stop shaking before he got to work. When he turned back around, he noticed that she had placed her wrists above leather straps on each side of her bed. Restraints, yet she was so casual about their use. She was looking so expectantly at him, “I d-don’t-t s-see a n-nee-ed to hav-ve to u-use t-thos-se.”

“Look Sorrowgrave, I know you’re new here, but trust me on this one. Unless you want to risk my claws finding your skin or impaled on accident, you will strap me down.”

“Y-You c-can’t-t do wor-rse t-than-n wh-hat has al-lre-eady b-bee-en d-done to me.”

“What?”

What?

She didn’t seem to buy that, trying again, “Trust me on this one Sorrowgrave. You’re going to want me restrained. I wouldn’t ask you otherwise if I didn’t think there was any danger to this.” It baffled him in a way that she was willing to be tied down, for his own sake. She was aware of her own power, able to assume she had some from the way she phrased her words, and took her own measures to ensure the staff’s safety. Seeing no need to fight her further, he stepped over to her bed, tightening the straps as tight as he could around each wrist. Her eyes turned forward, waiting now.

He only stepped away to gather his materials before coming to her side, “I’ll n-nee-ed to re-em-move y-your g-gow-wn.”

“Go ahead.”

He had done this so many times before, so there was no need to be so hesitant. The gown was laid across the railing closest to him, his eyes focusing to the new bundle of white and red along her shoulder. So one wound there. He could see the same along her upper chest, another spot along her side, and one last one near her thigh. Whatever mission she must have been on didn’t include an instruction on being careful.

His hands moved around the bandages, removing them. Sure enough, the cuts were deep, jagged in some places. He couldn’t help but notice the ones along her upper chest were different. They were straighter, each one with more than one line next to them. They looked very similar to scars that already littered her upper body. Eyes narrowed, staring on them, and she must have caught onto him again, “As much as I would love for you to keep gawking over my body, do you mind getting on with it? I hate sitting still.”

A low growl passed through his lips, sitting back up so he was at a better angle to do his job. No point in entertaining her rebuke. The sooner he could get these stitches done, the sooner he could leave. A syringe moved towards her wrist, sticking her in a safe place. It shouldn’t take too long for her body to grow numb. While he waited, his eyes moved over the wounds. Whichever medical personnel came to see her before him did a good job cleaning them out. All of them were clear of any signs of infection. Good. He would have hated to do more work than necessary.

He was always careful with his work, testing to make sure the anesthesia was in effect before the needle even touched her skin. Salena barely moved during the entire procedure, making this far easier. Guess he was right that she actually didn’t need to worry about the restraints. He couldn’t help but manage a smug look behind his mask. Good thing she couldn’t see that.

Clean bandages were wrapped back where the dirty ones used to be, leaving the surgeon with nothing else to do aside from clean up. He took care of himself before returning to his patient’s side, freeing her wrists and offering the discarded gown back to her. She snatched it from him, draping it back over her form. Guess his work here was done, so he could leave.

Before he could input the pin to the door panel, he heard her voice again, “Wait.”

Wait? Why? He thought she would be thrilled to have him leave her space. She was rubbing one of her wrists when he turned his eyes back onto her. Her gaze moved to the side, “Thanks. Let me compensate you for your work. I know something you may appreciate more than whatever Alexander will pay you.”

Weird. What could she possibly offer someone like him. Eyes widened when a pocket of magic She stuck her arm inside of it, pulling out a vial. What had he just witnessed? Truthfully, he wasn’t sure, but it fascinated him. Just what was this woman capable of?

Eyes trailed down to the vial, the magic having disappeared, and this what was offered out to him. He took it in his hands, fingers rolling it back and forth as it rested along his palm. The vial contained some kind of green liquid. He was about to question her when she noticed his confusion, “It’s a dreamless sleep potion. I can see the dark bags under your eyes. If they’re anything like mine, I can guess partly why you’re not getting sleep at night. Figured it might help.”

“I-It’s a w-what-t?”

It’s a what?!

One was thrilled, and the other panicking. He couldn’t lose the only outlet he still had for the time being to break down his host. Malceum’s hand began to tremble, grip moving around the vial. Audible cracks from the glass rang in the small room. He tried to save this small act of mercy she had offered him, but he was stronger. The vial shattered, potion spilling between his fingers. Tiny tears pricked at his eyes, red mixing with green along his hand.

He turned around, punching in the code to allow himself to leave, racing down the hall once the door opened.

She didn’t miss the orange flickering in his gaze.

He could tell she was a danger. She had something that could help him, and he made them flee. He wanted to go back to her, beg her for another one, but it was useless. He was going to make him pay for this new found hope.

Salena’s eyes didn’t leave the man, even as he sprinted past the window looking into her room. There was something very wrong with him. Cassandra saw him being sent to her. There was some reason they were meant to meet. Her gaze shifted down to the puddle on the floor, green mixing with red. He wanted that.

Something else made him break it.

And she would find out what.

[r6s-imagines]

Can I have “i know you have a dog, i can hear it.” With Doc, please? Thanks so much I love your work!

doc is my #1 op, idk how i haven’t written for him yet. he’s an enigma, that’s for sure, but i’ll do my best for you!!

•••

doc x reader >> surprise?

•••

MASTERLIST

warnings: cursing, dogs

prompts:

#6: “i know you have a dog, i can hear it.”

you can find the prompt list here

•••

summary: you decide to gift doc the least expected item on your anniversary.

•••

the calendar wasn’t kidding: the anniversary was the next day. you should’ve known, you and gustave have been married for half a decade and the date always managed to slip past you. the doctor, while he may be punctual, cannot control his hours. more often than not, he’d spent houseparties, holidays, and even his own birthday to practice medicine. it was never his intention to miss anything important, so doc would always make up his absence by sending a gift or setting up a less-than-safe-for-work night with you.

luckily for you, gustave requested a day off to spend with his love, yet you were unsure of his exact plans. even as the morning light graced your eyelids and you peeled your eyes open, you still stared at his sleeping form as he was an angel sent from above. he clenched his jaw, dark hair falling in front of his eyelashes, which fluttered while he dreamt. his appearance was much different than his tight mouth and tired gaze. when he slept, he was at ease. his tanned skin and toned bare arms glowed bronze with the kiss of daylight. he slept on his stomach, facing you with slightly parted lips.

[[why did i get so carried away in describing him,,, he’s just so beautiful,,,]]

“i love you,” you whispered, reaching to feel his jaw with a feather touch. his lips curled upwards. silently, you slinked out of the covers and padded your way to the bathroom, tying back your hair and quickly tossing on an old university hoodie of your husband’s. your pajama shorts remained, as his sweater went well past your thighs.

you made your way to the living room, pulling out a cardboard box from under the couch. digging through the contents, you removed a large bag of puppy food, a bowl and leash. you had to strategically place the items around the house in case they were spotted once gustave was up and about. just as you forcefully shoved the dry food into a cabinet, you spotted a pen and notepad, tearing off a sheet and holding the pen’s cap between your teeth as you wrote.

emergency meeting. be back shortly.

—y/n xx

you smiled, patting the note onto the fridge. that should convince him, you thought. should buy me enough time, too. you snatched the keys from the hook and headed out, both hands against the door as you closed it to muffle the sound.

•••

the bed was warm but the air felt empty, gustave noticed the moment he was pulled from his dream. this absolutely wasn’t a first time either, with work or family issues usually pulling each other away to spend time together. as ranks got higher and stakes were raised, you saw gustave and vice versa less and less during your domestic life than your job. sighing at the thought, he climbed out of bed and combed his hands through his graying hair.

assuming something was left to notify him of your absence, he made his way to the tv room, now equipped with a button-up and black pants. when you came back, he wanted to make sure he looked his best to hold you in his arms and celebrate.

the room was empty, and your keys were missing from the hooks. gustave smiled, it was like you to leave and place a message instead of texting. he thought it was cute when you’d put hearts or kisses or little doodles, and it was more expressive than letters on a screen. at first, the message went unnoticed, but he kicked over a small food bowl and knew something was off. he hunted for a note, eventually locating it on the refrigerator door. he held in between two fingers, reading every word. he frowned, deciding to make himself busy by catching up on old work.

“shh, shh,” you cooed, one hand occupied as you unlocked the door. finding the main room empty, you shouted across the house. “love?”

“here,” he responded distantly. you’d grown familiar of his spots in the house, making your way to his study. the door was open, and his back was to you as he typed away. “where’ve you been?”

“uh — got called in,” you explained, hand behind your back as you caught yourself about to tell the truth. “expenses or something, it was too boring to remember.”

he exhaled, a smile on his lips. once sending an email, he looked to you, meeting your eyes with the softest gaze. many claim that he stares at you like the first time you walked by him: awestruck. some days, he admires you out of shock from how lucky he is, and today was one of those days.

“happy anniversary,” he stated, standing up with his arms outstretched. you took a panicked step back, the jingle from your behind almost inaudible. gustave paused, raising an eyebrow.

“my back hurts,” you insisted, flexing your shoulders. “we must need a new bed.” it licked your thumb and you shuddered.

“i slept just fine,” doc responded, voice oddly suspicious. “maybe you’ve caught something. may i...?”

“no!” you moved against a wall, a fair amount of space between you and it. “probably just age finally catching up to me.”

if your ears weren’t trained, you would’ve missed the whine. it was high pitched and confused.

“y/n,” he spoke, laughing once. “i’m not stupid.”

“hm?”

“i know you have a dog. i can hear it.”

damnit.

slowly, you moved your hand to your front, finally showing your husband a small puppy.

“he’s a great pyrenese,” you explained, blushing. “three months.” the dog’s small eyes blinked, glancing up at the doctor with curiosity. “surprise?”

“a surprise indeed,” he observed, reaching out a hand. his uncertainty was rewarded with the dog’s snout between his fingers, sniffing. doc didn’t smile, his eyes were trained on the animal. for a moment, you were upset. would you have to bring him back to the shelter?

“did you name him?” he inquired. you nodded, grinning.

“enzo.”

“enzo,” he repeated. “a fine name.”

“can we keep him?” your heart pounded, eyes soft to attempt to convince him. gustave watched you, noticing the nervous stance and enzo, who seemed to be reading his mind. he calculated the potential issues: accidents, feeding, shedding, vacations, grooming...

“i don’t see why not,” he concluded, much to your delight. you leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips, to which he chuckled. enzo joined in, kissing his forearm since it was all he could reach. once you pulled away, he pet his new friend behind the ears, watching him close his eyes in pleasure.

“happy anniversary, gustave,” you finally put the dog on the floor, watching him scamper about and discover the food and water set out for him.

“i’m not too sure if this is a good idea,” he admitted. “but if you’re happy, i’m happy.”

enzo barked, causing you both to laugh again. gustave kissed you again.

“i love you.”

[fauzhee10069]

Caato’s Stand and its mechanism so far (Jojolion)

Caato’s Stand, which until now has not been named yet, often becomes the object of hype in its ability and discussion in its name. I’m also interested to discuss both, but maybe I will focus more on its ability.

As her character is heavily a reference of French playing cards, Caato uses her playing cards as medium for her Stand ability.

Caato can store objects between her cards, making them appear or disappear like a magic trick. The first object we saw when she demonstrated her Stand for the first time was a cellphone. The phone is smaller in width and length, making the cards able to fully conceal it.

The second time we saw her Stand, she tricked Joshu to tidy up her cards, indirectly hurting him by the impact of the chair she stored into her cards when he took the cards that were stacked. With this second demonstration, we can sort the mechanism of her Stand:

She can store objects between her cards, making them appear or disappear like a magic trick

Anyone can release the objects that were stored inside her cards

She can store the objects with size much larger than her cards

Another interesting thing here is that the chair came out of two separate cards, it makes me wonder of the possibility that she could separate parts of an object and release them separately. There are also two things that I see as another mechanism of her Stand, though it’s still hypothetically speaking as the scenes were just mainly implication:

How she hid the chair between her cards? Did she slam the chair between her cards? If so, why no one noticed her while doing it (taking out two decks of her cards and putting the chair between them)? Two people might not had noticed that moment: Daiya (due to poor eyesight) and Joshu (being too distracted), why did none of the rest of the family notice that? Which led to two assumptions:

Caato does not need to take out (use) the cards to hide objects, she simply needs to will it

She does need to take out the cards, it’s just the family being too oblivious to notice that

Or some of them might actually noticed that but kept silent because Joshu definitely deserved that (LOL), the scene was focused on him afterall. Anyway, I’m more into the later, this reunion scene with her is not to be taken too seriously (in gauging the actual power as it is not a serious Stand battle).

In addition, a crucial thing that is easily overlooked in Caato’s words: “there certainly are a lot of chairs in this house, so you wouldn’t notice if I hid one between my cards, would you?”

Considering the hype from her supporters who frequently compare her Stand with D4C because their "dimensional-based" ability and "caught-in-between" mechanism?

「D4C」 has access to different parallel worlds/dimensions, it can also pull other people or items to other dimensions.

But in the case of Caato’s Stand and her words: she took out a chair from her cards, a chair that belongs to Higashikata's house, which is in the same world as her and the family. In other words, Caato’s Stand does not cross between dimensions in its mechanism, therefore the hype that her Stand has the same ability and power as the 「D4C」 has not been proven!

Notice how the warden took Caato’s cards, the decks were slightly open but nothing came out from them, but a few panels afterwards we see Caato took out her cellphone from the cards. Why didn’t the warden accidentally brought out the phone? It’s either:

Only Stand users (like Joshu) who can release the objects stored there besides the user (Caato)

Caato can control the timing of the stored objects to be released (and anyone who can release it)

I’ll pick the later too. However, there is also the possibility of luck as the decks, that were slightly open, were not storing her phone atm.

Now, regarding the hype she gets, many readers compare her Stand with Valentine’s D4C for being dimension-theme, though currently Caato’s Stand is still paled in comparison with D4C. Let��s see how D4C is capable of:

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C)

SBR chapter 75: D4C – part 8

Take a note that the info explicitly said that D4C can send both living being and inanimate objects into another dimension, therefore it’s not limited to person.

Valentine sent away a man into another dimension, the caught in between two objects part is what makes the readers comparing this with Caato’s Stand. This comparison also conceived the idea of Caato being the part 8 main villain. The time-based theme that incidentally became the pattern of main villains’ Stands in Ireneverse (part 1-6) causing the readers to think that the reboot/SBR verse (part 7 onwards) will have the main villains with dimension-based Stands (in which this is still unconfirmed and purely assumption).

But if you consider the ability-based as the pattern, you should consider the form-based as the pattern as well. What kind of Stand the main villains always have so far? It’s always the humanoid-type. I don’t think Caato’s Stand is a humanoid-type, it looks more like a tool or bound-type.

After that, we saw that Valentine can also send intangible/non-physical objects such as Stand attack (Johnny’s Tusk) to another dimension, besides physical objects. Actually, he was unable to do that in Johnny’s case as Johnny’s Tusk Act 3 can also move through dimensions, but he did try it, meaning that under normal circumstances (non-dimensional Stand attacks), he can do that.

What makes D4C different from Caato’s Stand?

D4C ability can only be done by Valentine alone

Valentine does not need a certain medium to use D4C, he can use D4C with any objects that are available to be slammed together (since his Stand manifests in humanoid form)

Unlike D4C, Caato’s words in chapter 58 implied that her Stand does not cross between dimensions in its mechanism

While people like to compare Caato’s Stand with D4C, I’d like to compare her Stand with Terunosuke's Enigma which I found more similar to.

Enigma

Enigma, in the form of folded paper, can store any objects inside it just like Caato’s Stand, however Terunosuke has to fold them inside the paper which kinda reminds me of Paper Moon King visually.

DIU chapter 142: Enigma Boy – part 4

He can also store the object that much bigger than the paper itself, when the biggest object Caato had stored so far is a chair, Terunosuke had stored a taxi car (including the driver, btw).

Just like Caato’s Stand, anyone can release the objects that were folded inside the paper. Not only that, it can also store intangible object such fire and electric currents there.

And a living object such animal (scorpion).

Enigma can also trap a living person in paper, however, Terunosuke must discover the habits the target displays when afraid.

DIU chapter 141: Enigma Boy – part 3

He can also transform himself into a paper, by bringing a gun, he can surprise the target who opens the fold and harm them.

Damaging the piece of paper results in an equivalent damage on said object or person inside it.

What makes Caato’s Stand similar to Enigma?

Storing the objects inside medium (playing cards & paper)

Both can store the objects with size much larger than the medium

Anyone besides the users is able to release the objects from the medium

Even so, I'm a little confused, about the difference between the two. Does Terunosuke keeps some papers as medium or transform the object/target into a paper (which is then folded)?

I think it’s more the later, he did transform Tomoko into a paper rather than engulfed and folded her inside a paper, whereas in Caato’s case, she likely brings her playing cards as tool for her Stand ability.

We have seen very little of Caato’s Stand, thus, it raises quite a number of questions regarding its full capability:

Can she store living object?

My guess is she can. It’ll be cool if we see her trapping someone with dangerous animals such as killer bees, snakes or scorpions, though I’m not sure if she can store a human being.

JJL chapter 107: Kaato Higashikata's "Attack"

UPDATE! Eventually, the new chapter of 107 has shown that Caato is capable to conceal her grandson Tsurugi. Then it can be concluded that she can hide living object between her playing cards (though I think) as long as her playing cards perfectly stack.

Can she store intangible objects as well?

I think it is possible, I can imagine her working together with Jobin in a Stand fight (if he survives in the next chapter). It’ll be cool fight as well.

Is it only limited to her special designed playing cards?

Caato’s playing cards do have unique design, the back of her cards have the Higashikata fruit seller mark. I’m not really sure but I guess this can be limited to her special cards alone. Why would she keep these decks and use her Stand through them? Perhaps if the playing cards aren’t that unique, she can use her Stand ability through any playing cards, but let’s see it more in the future.

The exclusiveness of Caato’s playing cards as medium for her Stand kinda reminds me of Hot Pants’ Cream Starter.

Which can be used by anyone besides Hot Pants and still functions even though its user is already dead.

Does it have its own (humanoid-like) form?

I think it's possible, even every ability (non-power) based Stand such as Fun Fun Fun, Vitamin C, California King Bed, Walking Heart, Blue Hawaii etc have it. I hope it has a cool design. However, Tsurugi’s Stand Paper Moon King also hasn't shown its humanoid form yet, even though we have seen a lot of its abilities. 

However, Caato’s Stand seems to depend on her special designed playing cards which made it more like a tool/bound-type Stand and I haven’t seen any bound Stand that has its humanoid form. 

Perhaps, we will be really able to determine the type of Caato’s Stand if we have a chance to see its abilities further in a serious Stand battle.

UPDATE! The new chapter of 107 has shown that her Stand has its own (humanoid-like) form:

JJL chapter 107: Kaato Higashikata's "Attack"

At this point, it was most likely that all of the Higashikata family’s Stands have their humanoid form, bar Tsurugi… but I think that 「Paper Moon King」 will also have its humanoid form which it just hasn't revealed yet.

Next related post: The True Mechanism of Caato’s Stand, 「Space Trucking」

At the same time, the name of Caato’s Stand was finally revealed as 「Space Trucking」, it follows the ‘KING’ tradition just like every member of Higashikata family (including Mitsuba who joined the family through marriage).

Hence the speculation below that there will be the word "queen" in its name or that she is an exception due to her disowned status has become pointless LOL:

The Name of  Caato’s Stand

And last, about the name of Caato’s Stand, many readers (and JoJotubers) have talked about it. Some proposed names that appeal to me are:

Queen(s) of The Stone Age

Styx’s Queen of Spades

Queen’s The March of The Black Queen

David Bowie’s Queen Bitch

But why “Queen” instead of “King” (which becomes a trend in Stand naming among Higashikata family)? Perhaps because she is considered to be an outsider to the family as she disgraces the family’s reputation (for getting into prison) and divorced with the head of the family.

I am most interested in Queen of Spades just because I really like the album artwork “Pieces of Eight”. I think I’m gonna draw Caato in that album artwork style if this becomes her Stand’s name. A Caatofag also said that the lyrics are really complimentary to the lyrics Norisuke IV’s Stand, Metallica’s King Nothing, as if they are singing to each other.

Read also:

JoJolion Cardspiracy: Caato & Damokan group

Is Caato a Rock-Woman?

How does the hype of Caato turn really bad?

Edited:

Changed the spelling of 「Kaato」 into 「Caato」because it’s Caato, not Kaato.

[agustdomain]

All The Pieces Fall

Synopsis: Some pieces mismatch, but some pieces fall into place. They figure out a way to create a beautiful and unlikely picture. Here’s how a few lives intertwined on this holiday, making it count. 

Word Count: 26.4 k words

Genre: Holiday, Friendships, Not present lover, Christmas Fluff

Warnings: It’s really long. Haha I’m sorry. And a sprinkle of angst throughout.

Members: All 7 of them. Hoseok as a brother, Yoongi as a lover, the rest will make their respective appearance (;

Author’s Note: This work is highly special to me. I was supposed to post it last Christmas, but didn’t finish it and vowed to finish it this year. And I accomplished that goal! I am so happy with how it came out. It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful. And I think that’s reflected in how the piece unravels. Hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! ~ Angelo

For as long as she could remember, she was a sentimental person. She enjoyed the smaller details, she collected items that may seem confusing to those who didn’t know her well and at the end of most nights, she enjoyed reminiscing about the people and the things that she loved. Earlier on in life, she knew there were rare feelings that she wouldn’t find anywhere else; when she was a teenager, she documented them and if she ever discovered new and rare feelings, she’d add them to the list. 

First love. Concerts. And the feeling of Christmas. 

There were only three experiences that sparked those rare sensations, but every time she pulled that little note out, it made her smile. Rare feelings aren’t something to be sad about. 

She was aware that many people considered Christmas their favorite holiday. That in itself wasn’t rare. What’s rare is the feeling that blooms in her chest every 24th of December, and what lasts until she goes to sleep on the 25th. Her friends would call her a poetic romantic, always trying to articulate what or how something makes her feel. Christmas was one of the only experiences she certainly couldn’t capture in words. It was too rare, too stunning, too… ah, she couldn’t find the words. 

What she could confirm is that her heart always swelled seeing those she loved surrounding her, the look of joy on their faces unforgettable. The air was warmer on those days, the lights softer. Smiles were more lovely. It’s the Christmas air, her brother Hoseok would say. Perhaps that’s what it was. 

Christmas was the closest, she believed, to the feeling of pure bliss. 

It always has been that for her, and it always will be. Sometimes, things go wrong and it doesn’t seem like Christmas will be the same. Somehow, in some way, it always works out. Even if it’s the slightest shift. 

This winter was the most helpless she ever felt. As her favorite day grew closer, a piece of her hope would splinter off. Her brother didn’t seem to be coming home from university, her parents weren’t batting an eye, and it might be the first Christmas without him. 

She wouldn’t lose faith, though, not yet. Christmas wasn’t over until the clock struck midnight welcoming the 26th. 

This particular holiday always had a funny and inexplicable way of surprising her. She assumed this year wouldn’t be any different. 

She could only hope that even if it’s different, it still captures that feeling she craves all year long. That’s all she wanted as a gift. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Christmas Tree 

“Have you talked to your brother recently, Y/N?”

The words sent her stomach dropping, finding it hard to resist asking her mother to repeat herself out of shock. She knew her mom wouldn’t be happy if she did so. Frankly, she had expected anything but those words to leave her mouth. She had been home for a few days now due to being on winter break as well as scheduling time off of work. Being surrounded by her childhood memories, portraits of her and her brother, and simply being reminded of how Christmas might be different this year, had left her moping around. She was too guilty to admit it aloud, but she found her mother partially responsible for their circumstances. Truly, she did not expect her mother to ask her that one morning after waking up.

It was her favorite time of year, the Christmas season. It was the most blissful experience, so brief and a wonderful rush that fills her once it’s around the corner. The day itself was highly anticipated, but it ended so fast it was almost like it never came. Now that she was a little older, the experience had transformed into an entirely different experience. It was more about giving instead of receiving, and she couldn’t get enough.

That particular morning, she had been lounging in the living room watching a Christmas movie on tv. Her mother joined her shortly after she woke up. Not thinking much of it, she assumed her mom was just joining her to watch the movie. She had not expected her to ask her such a loaded question, and one about Hoseok at that.

She spoke slowly and carefully. “Uh, I haven’t. Why?” 

A brief silence, and it was enough to let her know what she needed to know. More than anything, growing up in her home, her and Hoseok  recognized early on that their parents’ silence typically had to do with their pride. If it was related to an issue and they were responsible for apologizing, it took even longer for them to set pride aside. Hence, their familiar silence. 

“What are his Christmas plans?”

To be fair, she didn’t know the answer that question either. At the realization, her heart sank.

There weren’t enough words to describe how much she loved her brother. Hoseok was his name, and that even conveyed how warm and soft he actually was. He was an enigma, mostly because somehow the moment anyone met him, they fell in love. Even if he spoke two words, they became enamored. Growing up, bringing her friends around her bright brother was fascinating because afterward, they were all smitten. When they were young, it was his friendliness and excitable personality that drew in everyone they met. As they both matured and grew, and he became the young man he was today, people simply fell for everything about him. All of that didn’t matter, though, because above everything else he was her brother. She and Hoseok had an unbreakable bond, one that wasn’t just because they were siblings but also because of a friendship built on years of closeness.

What she lacked, he embodied and vice versa. She loved him and supported him in everything he did. 

Earlier this year and just after Christmas, Hoseok had announced that he had changed his major. It wouldn’t be such an issue if he had been changing to anything but photography. 

When he was eight years old, he had gotten a camera as a birthday gift from their grandpa. Not just any camera, though. Their grandpa had gifted him a Yashica Mat 124G. At the time, Hoseok knew next to nothing about photography. What mattered to him that their grandpa, who was his favorite person in the world, had gifted him something so special to him. Once Hoseok clicked the cranked it and clicked the shutter, there was an everlasting love in his eyes. 

She was six at the time, but she knew her brother had been changed by this gift from their grandpa. 

Since then, his love for capturing the world had never ceased, only expanded with time. It was why she was utterly surprised a couple of years before he graduated high school, and  told her he had chosen psychology as his major instead.

Although their parents loved him dearly, they were too afraid of the unknown that came with pursuing a career in any type of art. At the age of eighteen, he would have done anything to appease their parents. So he settled for his second passion, which happened to be psychology. It made their parents relieved. It made her brother passive. That was over three years ago.

Last year when he was home for Christmas, he confessed to a lie that he had been telling his family since before his sophomore year in college. It had really been plaguing him; she could tell he was hiding something long before that moment. He was on his third year of university, and he had been carrying the secret with him for so long. She had watched as the words slipped past his mouth, about how he was on his second year now of majoring in psychology. She watched the life return to his eyes as the weight lifted from his shoulders. That’s all that mattered.

The repercussions were deadly, the biggest explosion between her family she had ever witnessed. It had been about a year since the fight, but she tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible. She hated remembering how thundering her father’s voice sounded in the house, rattling the house. She hated seeing her brother transform as he was backed into a corner,  how Hoseok reciprocated with an even bigger storm in his eyes. She especially hated witnessing her brother’s heart break as their father treated him like he wasn’t welcome anymore. The night had ended in shambles, her brother leaving back to school a week early. 

Since then, her father and brother hadn’t spoken. And their mom only occasionally checked up on him, in fear of breaking down and in fear of making it worse. She knew how much it was killing both sides, but Hoseok wanted their dad’s approval and their dad was too stubborn to concede. At this rate, she was afraid for not only Christmas, but for the future.

“I haven’t asked,” She paused, carefully wading through, “Do you want him to come?”

Silence. Then tiptoeing. “He is welcome to do whatever he pleases. Seems that’s what he does anyway-” 

“Mom, enough. Do you want Hoseok to spend Christmas with us or not? Are you really going to let him spend Christmas alone all because he loves something you don’t?”

And she didn’t know if it had been the conviction in her voice, or if it was solely because she missed him so much, but her mom’s next words were exactly what she wanted to hear.

“I want my son home.”

~~~~~~~~~~

That afternoon, after settling down from mulling over her mother’s words over and over, Y/N found herself contemplating the home around her. The home she grew up in, the one that she and Hoseok played tag in and got scolded for running in, the one where her and Hoseok teamed up against their parents in debates and got scolded for as teens. Of course, there were both good and bad memories tied to this house. More than anything, it was their home. Usually, she loved being home completely. It was different, knowing that her dad didn’t welcome Hoseok anymore.

Yet, their parents welcomed her with sweet smiles and warm hugs. Her dorm wasn’t even far, a brief drive away to be quite honest. She had chosen the nearest university to her family because a) it had the major of her dreams and b) she was near her family. With the swarm of school and work, however, she didn’t get to visit as often as she’d like. Yes, that’s why she didn’t visit regularly. It wasn’t because it reminded her of the strain in her family.

It was at dinner that night that she found herself thinking about Hoseok once more. As she sat across from her parents and quietly ate her dinner, she remembered Hoseok’s laugh ringing in the air last Christmas, his smile as she unwrapped her gift from him. Their entire lives, his laugh had always been loud, sometimes obnoxious. It never failed to pull a laugh from her. Even now, a smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how she’d hit him with a throw pillow every time he’d laugh too loud late at night. He would only send her a mocking glare every time she told him to shut up, not worried at all about being caught watching t.v. late on a school night. 

Her smile faded as she remembered how he was a boulder to cover her from the harsh winds of life. When school was overwhelming and he’d find her crying over something she can’t even remember anymore, he would wrap her up in his arms and remind her he’ll always be there. He would say that with her spirit, the world doesn’t stand a chance. She always used to wonder how could it be possible that he viewed her the same way she saw him.

He was a bonfire. People were drawn to him and his warmth. He would never let her hear the end of it whenever she compared herself to him. Thinking of that,  his words rang in her ears. I’m not any better than you, Y/N. You are amazing, the most amazing sister I could ever ask for. Stop comparing yourself to me. Can’t we both be great?

“Y/N? Did you hear me?”

She looked up then, her attention being drawn to her mother. She was sitting to her right, her dad sitting right beside her. The setup almost made her happy. Almost. Except it wasn’t, not with Hoseok nowhere to be found. If he were here, he would be sitting right beside you at the table, finishing her plate when she grew full. Sometimes, their dad would jokingly insist she needs to finish her food. When he would leave the table, Hoseok would shovel all of her food quickly into his mouth, causing her to weaken with laughter as he finished, resembling a squirrel with filled cheeks. After swallowing, he would always say the same thing. “If I can’t finish your leftovers, what kind of brother does that make me?”

“What did you say?”

“I was telling you that the Parks can join us for Christmas Eve after all. It’s been so long since we’ve spent Christmas Eve with them. Their son is back home, too, which is lovely. We haven’t seen Jimin since your guys’ graduation. Isn’t that crazy?” Her words successfully drew her attention, mostly because it had been a long time since she saw Park Jimin. 

Before she could respond, she felt her mother’s probing gaze. She knew what she was going to say. She wished she could stop her, but there was nothing she could do to avoid her teasing.

“I felt like I should let you know. I know you always used to have a crush on Jimin. I would hate for you to be caught by surprise after seeing him again.”

She clenched her fists with embarrassment, keeping her gaze trained on her plate as she pushed around her leftovers. No Hoseok to finish them for her. Hearing her dad’s exclamation, she braced herself for his dramatic reaction as her mom stifled a smile.

“Excuse me? You like the Parks’ boy? If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have ever let him spend the night-”

Her mom waved him off as Y/N cupped her forehead with embarrassment. “Oh, hush. He was friends with Hoseok. And so what if she has a little crush on him? He’s a good boy. Well, now he’s a young man.”

She tried her hardest to pretend her parents weren’t discussing her past crush while residing right across from her. Her thoughts were thankfully enough to keep her distracted. 

It was true that as she was growing up, Jimin had been the boy who made her heart race. He was the school’s sweetheart, mostly because he was sweet to everyone. Because he was sweet to everyone, her heart grew sweet on him. Back in high school, he had been one of Hoseok’s good friends. Having him around made it even easier for her to grow fond of him. 

He had only two girlfriends throughout high school, and each of them were treated like his queen. Whenever he spent time around her, he treated her the way Hoseok did. Back then, she didn’t know what loving someone was like. The way it felt, it was like he truly saw her. He looked out for her back then, bought her her favorite chocolate every time he came over. He even liked to ask her what new music she was listening to, because according to him she always had great taste. When Hoseok let it slip that Jimin had a Spotify playlist with all the songs she told him about, she knew she was head over heels for him.

She buried that crush deep within. He was not only Hoseok’s friend, he was her friend, too. His friendship meant the absolute world to her. The crush she harbored wasn’t deep enough to risk everything. 

At graduation, after she and Jimin took a picture in their caps and gowns, she had stared at the boy in his angelic eyes. They were going their separate ways, him moving across the country. She would always remember him as her childhood crush, the friend that meant a lot to her. And when his lips had brushed her cheek, and her entire body grew warm, she was okay with leaving those feelings right then and there.

Besides, by now she had truly experienced what love actually felt like, all because of a boy with jazz eyes and piano hands. Her parents didn’t know about him quite yet. So, you let them speculate about the Parks’ son. 

“Not that I don’t love talking about love with my parents,” She said sarcastically as she rose to her feet. She held back a smile at her dad’s highly unamused face and her mother’s amusement. “I’m going to head to bed.”

“This early? I know you don’t sleep until 3 am,” Her dad said, calling her out.

“You got me there,” She said, bending down to give both of them a kiss on the head. “Goodnight! Love you.”

Truth be told, she wasn’t tired at all. It was only 10 pm, but it was only a few days until Christmas Eve and time was working against her. For whatever reason, her heart was racing at her plans. This was Hoseok, for crying out loud. She was just afraid he would not take it well when she asked him to come home. 

She had texted him earlier to video chat with her tonight. He agreed, his text exclaiming how much he couldn’t wait to talk to his sweet “Paws”. She couldn’t distinguish whether or not the nickname he had given her a long time ago made her more sad or happy. All she could do was shove it aside as she prepared herself for the tough conversation she was about to have. 

The time had come, and as she shifted in her bed, she prepared herself for what was about to unravel. Inhaling deeply, she hoped for the best reaction. Unlike her parents, she stayed in constant contact with him. He didn’t really like to talk about their parents though, and she knew it was because it hurt him. She hoped this wouldn’t be too much for him.

Finally, his beaming face popped up on her screen and she quickly accepted the video chat, his face temporarily freezing in a buffered smile before it cleared up and she was staring at her brother’s live and in action face. It had been a while since they had video chatted, and staring at him made her realize how deeply she missed him.

Both of their smiles were unrestrained, and they excitedly got out their initial greetings.They talked about school for a while, discussing how their semesters went and what had been difficult about some courses. The topic shifted to work, Hoseok telling her about how he had recently gotten a job at a dance studio. He had gotten hooked up with an interview by one of his friends who majored in music production. He loved it a lot, hoping he would eventually get to be able to teach his own class. After the small talk, Hoseok’s smile died down and she could tell he was going to say something serious.

“I see you’re back at home.”

She didn’t control the surprise that filtered across her face. Nervously, she laughed. “Yeah, I am. For the holidays. Finally, I got some time off of work.” The smile she tried to hold didn’t last, her lips uncontrollably pursed before she decidedly dove in head first. “Speaking of the holidays, Christmas Eve is in three days…”

She didn’t like the cloud that covered Hoseok’s face, his eyes trailing off to the side. It squeezed her heart. Her brother was someone who should always be smiling. It made the world a lot more bearable. But she understood his dilemma. Their dad, who they both cherished, didn’t support the one thing he loved. It hurt her to know he was hurting. 

She continued, her voice sounding small all of a sudden. “Are you coming home for Christmas?”

His voice was just as small, quiet. “I can’t. You know that.”

“Yes, you can. You know you can. Mom and dad love you-”

“Dad sure has a funny way of showing it,” He scoffed, and she pretended not to hear his voice crack. She wished she could hold him tight, just like those times in school when she doubted herself. If only he were here. 

Shaking her head, she tried to find the words. By the look of his face and the sound of his voice, her heart sank with the oncoming disappointment.  “Hoseok, you know he only wants the best for you. We both know he’s  wrong in how he’s handling it, but he misses you. Mom misses you. I miss you.”

“Oh, they do? Then why hasn’t dad spoken to me since that night? How come mom can’t go one phone call without trying to convince me to switch majors, all to appease him? Why do I feel like I’m a villain for pursuing what I love?” He was crying, she could tell by the slight quiver in his voice. He had moved the camera so she couldn’t see his face. 

Her own cheeks were damp, but she ignored it. She was desperate at this point, fishing for the words to bring him home. She needed him here. 

“I want you here. And I know they want you here too. They’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t want to be an outcast in my own parents’ eyes. I miss you so much. I’ll come visit you after Christmas break.”

“Hoseok-”

“I got to go. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“No, wait, please-” 

The call ended just like that. The silence right after was unbearable, her brother’s broken voice and broken heart ringing in her memory. The ring was deafening, painful.  She sat there a moment, frozen.  Although she knew there was a chance the call wouldn’t go well, a part of her had still hoped she would convince him to come home. Instead, her mind began to torture her the realization of what Christmas would be like this year sunk in.

Her face crumpled as her heart did. She wished so badly she could shake her parents and tell them to stop hurting Hoseok. Mostly, she wanted him here. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N!”

The next morning, she sluggishly trudged down the stairs and found her mother in the kitchen scrambling eggs. She stood in the doorway, watching her mom as she hummed a Christmas tune underneath her breath. Still tired from her restless night, Y/N found herself really looking at her mother. She knew her opinion of her parents had changed since that fateful night when her brother stormed out of the house, no intentions of coming back. She heard it in her mom’s voice yesterday, when she asked about Hoseok. And she saw it when her mom thought no one was looking, her eyes fluttering over the photos of her son hanging in the hall. She missed him just as much as Y/N did. 

“Oh!” Her mom slightly jumped at the sight of her. “You scared me. Sorry to wake you. I need you to run to the store for me and pick up a couple things. I would ask your dad, but he’s at work. It’s his last day before he’s off for a week!”

Her excitement was endearing, and a bitter part of her wanted to be angry at her mom for doing nothing when her dad chased Hoseok away. At the end of the day, she knew that her parents initially had good intentions, that they loved Hoseok and had only been trying to protect him. They simply let the problem spiral out of control and were too prideful to make amends. 

“Okay. Let me get changed.”

Before she knew it, she was driving to the grocery store. Since she woke up, her heart was weak at the memory of the video call last night. Hoseok’s hurt voice, his refusal as she pleaded. She tried to avoid thinking about him, but she couldn’t shake the sadness that came with the reality that he was not coming home. It would be her first Christmas without him, no one to wake her up to tell her to come downstairs. He wouldn’t be there Christmas morning, ready to start watching their favorite holiday movies. Who would finish her hot chocolate for her? Who would force her to dance to Christmas songs? Maybe it shouldn’t be as sad as she felt, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t shake the heaviness. A pivotal piece was missing. 

It was like she blinked and she was at the grocery store. She sat in the car for a moment, the ignition turned off and the previous warmth from the heaters dissipating. As the cold air seeped in from outside, she told herself to push down the negative feelings. She would figure it out. She would. For now, she would just focus on the task at hand. 

Stepping out of the car, she hissed at the frigid air, zipping up her jacket as tight as it would go. As she walked toward the entrance, she noticed on the other side of the parking lot there was a sectioned off area where real Christmas trees were set up. Before she went inside, she noticed people hauling off trees to their cars. It was quite the sight.

She bought everything off her mother’s list with no trouble. She was in and out rather quickly, pushing the cart out of the store and avoiding other frantic shoppers as much as she could. With the rapid approaching holiday, everyone was frantic and everywhere was busy. Somehow, she avoided all of it. Because of the music playing in the store, Jingle Bell Rock was stuck in her head. As she hummed it to herself, she gathered in her surroundings as she headed toward her car. 

Taking one last look toward the Christmas tree lot, something caught her eye- moreso, someone did. Narrowing her eyes, she stared for a moment before the familiarity dawned on her. A smile widened on her lips before she raced to the car and put all the groceries in the trunk. After she finished up, she put the cart away and rushed to the tree lot.

As she approached, her gaze trained on the familiar figure that had previously snagged her attention. And she was thankful she had noticed him, because it had been too long since she had seen him. 

When she was close enough, she felt her heart light up like the star on the top of the tree at home. He had let his hair grow long since the last time she saw him, but he was as handsome as she remembered. He was kneeling, fixing one of the Christmas trees that he had placed in a shopping cart. His face was flushed red, from exerting himself or from the cold she didn’t know. She smiled at the festive beanie he wore atop his head. 

Finally, he noticed her. His eyebrows furrowed for a slight moment before his face lit up like the sunrise. A grin formed as he rose to his feet. Without any hesitation, he approached her with open arms. She stepped right into his arms as he said her name with unadulterated happiness.

“How long has it been since I saw you?” He said, cold air seeping out past his lips. She couldn’t describe the joy that wrapped around her at the luck of running into her dearest friend. Kim Taehyung was someone that had entered her life as sudden as a shooting star. But he wasn’t brief, no, he was an everlasting sun. She had met him when she was fourteen, and had forged a friendship that hadn’t been broken by distance or time. Yes, she hadn’t seen him in months, due to different schools and lack of time. That didn’t change anything. And here he stood. And it was like no time had passed.

“I think August. I’ve really missed you, Tae.”

His smile was blinding, erasing the previous distressed emotions suffocating her. “Likewise. It’s been way too long. No one else puts up with my tomfoolery like you do.”

“Maybe it’s because you use words like ‘tomfoolery’.”

His laugh echoed in the air, drawing the attention of a nearby family looking at trees. Glancing at them, she offered up an observation. “Isn’t it a bit late to be looking for Christmas trees? Christmas Eve is in two days.”

Taehyung shrugged casually, adjusting the beanie on his head. “Yeah, but it’s always sort of been a thing my family does. We cut it pretty short to the day itself. We’re badass like that.”

“Or reckless.”

“I like badass more.” His smile died down then, his fond eyes looking her over. “It’s so good to see you. I was going to wait until Christmas to reach out to you. Crazy how it’s not that small of a town, but it never stops us from running into each other.. We have to hang out before you go back-” And something strange happened then. It was like something had physically stopped him from continuing, his eyes glazing over. She had known him long enough to see something was bothering him.

“Is everything alright?”

His eyes found hers once more, shaking it off before feigning a comforting smile. “Everything’s fine! Sorry! I just remembered something. Anyways, want to help me find a tree? Taeyeon wants me to bring the perfect one home!”

Something told her not to force him to tell her what’s wrong. So, she complied. For twenty minutes, she walked the lot with him, offering up her opinions and finding time in between to reminisce about old times. A part of her wished he still lived nearby during school. Shortly after she moved into her dorms, he moved to a nearby city about thirty minutes away. Though he wasn’t far, they were both busy with school and work, and hardly found time to see each other. If they found the time, she was positive he would be the person she spent all her time with throughout the year. 

Soon enough, he found what he deemed ‘The Perfect Pine’, and she helped him carry it to his familiar red Toyota. It brought back some dear memories, and she was unable to control her gasp of glee. After helping him secure the tree in the truck bed, the two of them stood facing each other. 

She patted the trunk. “Haven’t seen this old friend in a minute.”

“Dory missed you. Just like I did.”

She threw her head back and laughed. “I can’t believe you remember our nickname for it!”

“I know, right? We were so excited when I got this car. Named it and everything. Except we never even called it Dory, not even once.”

It was times like this that she truly missed about being younger. Sure, it hadn’t been too long since she had seen Taehyung. And she generally kept in good contact with him. But it wasn’t like when they were younger. It was good to see his face. 

His next question inevitably called back her sadness. It wasn’t his fault, because he couldn’t have known. However, there was no way to cover up the disappointment that washed over her face at his words.

“How’s my boy Hopeful? Haven’t seen your brother in ages. I miss him too.” At her prolonged silence, his hand reached out to her shoulder as he noticed her crestfallen face. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Shaking her head, she sighed. “It’s… complicated. Let’s just say he’s not coming home for Christmas because he’s clashing with my parents. Has been for a while now.”

He sighed at the news, his hand unconsciously moving to rub her arm comfortingly. “I’m sorry to hear that.” His actions paused for a moment, as if he were pondering what he was about to say. It seemed he decided it was best to say whatever he was holding back. “Since when has an argument with your parents been this drastic though? And since when did that make Hoseok miss out on his favorite holiday?”

“It’s worse than it seems. Our parents don’t really support him and what he loves. And because of that, he doesn’t feel welcome.”

Taehyung frowned. “Your parents never seemed like they would be that way.”

“That’s the thing. They aren’t. My dad’s silence is just his pride. I know he misses Hoseok. My mom asked me to bring him home somehow. They want him here just as much as I do. They’re just too stubborn to make the first move. And Hoseok is hurt. He doesn’t want to make the first move because he’s afraid they’ll just do the same thing as last time.”

“So talk to your parents.”

“I have.” Her voice died, squeezing her eyes to make sure she didn’t get too emotional in front of him. 

“Have you truly talked to them? Have you told them they’re wrong, that in order to have him come home, they need to reach out to him?” 

She opened her mouth to respond but came up short. Because in a way, Taehyung hit the nail on the head. All these months, she hadn’t really called them out for their wrongs. She had only implied that they needed to be more understanding. For the first time since the night Hoseok stormed out, she realized that maybe she played a hand in this prolonged stalemate. Without outright calling them out on their behavior, they won’t think about what they’re doing. It was up to her to ultimately end all the turmoil.

“Tae, what would I do without you?”

He brushed off her compliment, his face drawn in a shy smile. “You would be fine.”

Lunging forward, she held him tight. “No, I wouldn’t. I have to head home, but we’ll hang out before I head back to the dorms. Have a Merry Christmas.” And in that moment, she didn’t register the grimace on his face. Maybe it was because of the stress of her family situation, that she didn’t even notice Taehyung’s own sadness lingering. At that moment, she had to get home and then get Hoseok home.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Mom, we need to talk.”

She turned at Y/N’s greeting, her eyebrows pulled downward in question.

“What took you so long? The list wasn’t that long.”

Brushing her arm dismissively, she explained, “The store was pretty busy. And I ran into Taehyung. But-”

“Oh, Taehyung! How is he? You haven’t brought him around in so long! He was always such a good friend to you-”

“Mom. We can talk about him later. We have something important to talk about.“

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” The concern in her eyes solidified her nerves, but she needed to push through. This talk was going to be hard, but she wasn’t walking away from it without getting her mom to see what’s right. If she failed, then she didn’t know how long her parents and Hoseok’s relationship would hang in a void. She couldn’t stand the idea.

“No. Everything isn’t okay. But it can be.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Her father came home to a gloomy house that evening. Both Y/N and her mother sat in a quiet living room that night, her mom’s stoic expression trained on a blank television. Her own gaze followed her dad’s movements nervously as he shrugged off his coat, meeting her look with his own questioning one.

“What’s going on? What are you guys doing just sitting here?”

“Dad, we need to talk.”

He stared at her for a moment, before he rubbed at his temple tiredly. “Can’t it wait? I’m pretty tired from work.”

“It really can’t. It’s important.”

She could sense his exasperation was building behind his expression, but she was thankful he was at least trying to be patient. “What’s it about?”

She was holding her breath, nervous for his reaction. Exhaling deeply, she just let go. “It’s about Hoseok.”

Disappointment filled her bones at the sight of him guarding his expression, looking the least bit responsive. “We’re not talking about him.”

“Dad, we have to. It’s almost Christmas-”

“So? What does that have to do with him?” His words stung and she unconsciously rose to her feet.

“What do you mean? It has everything to do with him. He’s your son, my brother. Christmas won’t be the same without him!”

“Whose fault is that? If he just listened to his parents-”

“Why would he listen to you if you guys were wrong-”

“I won’t have you disrespect me in my own house, Y/N. If you feel so strongly on the subject, why are you here? You can leave just like him.” His words extinguished any sort of fire previously lit in her veins. She heard her mother cry out in disbelief, but there was nothing else she could do. It seemed he was dead set on being prideful. 

Shaking her head, she muttered, “You’re unbelievable,” before turning on her heels and heading toward the staircase. 

“Y/N.” This time it was her mother, uncharacteristically quiet during the whole argument. Turning to look at her, something in her gaze comforted how upset she was. “I’ll talk to him. Just stay in your room for the night, okay?”

And there was nothing she could do. So she agreed. And she hoped her mother could pick up the pieces. Because if she didn’t, then maybe her family would never be the same. It was her biggest fear at this point. Aside from Christmas, what would their relationship with Hoseok look like in the future? It terrified her. 

She didn’t have to wait long to know how the conversation played out after she went to her room. It was a few hours later when her mom joined her, her hiding beneath the covers. The only light that filled the room filtered in through the hall. Quietly, she walked in and sat beside her.

Her silence unnerved Y/N, and she feared her mom was quiet because she was coming to bear bad news. She sat there in silence for a few beats, her heartbeat the only sound thundering in her ears.

Finally, she spoke.

“Your father is driving up to see your brother in the morning. He’s going to talk to him. And if your brother lets him, he’s bringing him home.”

Her words brought Y/N to tears.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stockings

The countdown was two days until Christmas Eve.

That was her first thought the next day when she awoke. The second thought that flashed in her mind was her brother, and how their dad was going to see him. With that thought, she ripped her blanket off of her and stumbled out of bed. She sprinted out of the room and to her parents’ bedroom down the hall. 

Pushing the door open, her heart rate spiked at the absence of her parents. Spinning around, she made her way down the hall and stairs, finding her mom lounging in the living room watching the news.

“Mom!”

Jumping at her voice, she shot her an irritated look. “Don’t scare me like that! What’s wrong?”

She paused, almost wondering if she had dreamt what she said last night. So she had to ask, just in case. “Did… did dad leave already?”

Her face morphed into realization before she soothed her with a soft look. “Yes, he headed out about an hour ago. He should be there soon. And if all goes well… Hoseok should be home by late afternoon.”

The words filled her with relief as the realization hit her like a knockout.. The words were exactly what she wanted to hear, an antidote to the potentially ruined Christmas. Slinking into the spot next to her mom, a thought struck her.

“How did you change his mind?”

She waved her hand before cupping her mug once more. She sipped at what she guessed was her morning coffee before she answered. “I’ve known your father a lot longer than he’s known himself. He didn’t need his mind changed when it was already where it needed to be. He just needed a little encouraging. He loves Honey and truly does want what’s best for him. All this time, he just needed to realize that Hoseok is in control of his life and is old enough to pick his own path. It’s just up to us to be there if he ever falls.”

Her heart tugged at the mention of the family’s nickname for her brother, then twisted at the sentiment of her mom’s words. She couldn’t help but hug her then, ignoring her playful protests. Soon, she was embracing Y/N back, her hands unconsciously moving to play with her hair. 

In a few hours, the family was going to be what it was supposed to be. And Hoseok was going to be right where he belonged. 

About an hour passed like that, her in her mother’s arms as she tempted Y/N to doze off. Her mom knew that playing with her hair was her ultimate weakness. It almost always led you to falling asleep. She fell asleep briefly before her mom adjusted in her seat and woke her up.

“Sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Yawning, she sat up straight in her seat. “It’s fine. I actually think I’m going to get some sleep. Before they come back.”

Her words seemed to please her mom, her eyes getting distant. “Yeah. When they come back.”

She groggily headed to her room then, every intention of hers to get some sleep. Just as she got in the most comfortable position, her phone began buzzing on the bedside stand. 

Groaning, she debated whether or not to ignore it but ultimately decided to reach out and grab it. Looking at the screen, her sleepiness faded at the sight of Tae-rex. 

“Tae! What’s up?”

“Hey. Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I’m just in bed.”

“I just wanted to check up on you, see how things are. Did you… talk to your parents?”

She couldn’t control the smile on her lips and permanently in her heart.. “I did. My dad is driving to pick him up as we speak.”

“That’s awesome! Y/N, that’s so great to hear! I’m happy for you.”

A laugh escaped her, even though there wasn’t anything funny. It just bubbled out from her body. All was well.

“Thank you, Taehyung. Something as simple as pointing out how I feel made a difference. If you hadn’t suggested it, who knows what would’ve happened?”

“It was all you. You’ve always had an influence on people. I admire that.” 

This time around, she wasn’t distracted by her sadness. Immediately, she picked up on his underlying solemn tone. Something was bothering him. 

“Tae, is everything okay?”

He hummed in thought.  It was never a good sign. It always told her everything she needed to know about how he was feeling. It was the sound he made when he didn’t know what to say, and the sound he made when he was hurting. To know that about him was an advantage and a burden, because it meant something was really wrong.

If possible, his voice dropped lower and quieter than it was before. “I’m fine. Why?”

“Something tells me that there’s something bothering you. Intuition, perhaps. Are you really fine?”

He was quieter a lot longer than she expected. Again, it told her all she needed to know. In a way, his silence answered the question. 

“I…” She knew how he worked. Two sides of him were battling, one side telling him to put up a front and the other to open up. Over the years, he started opening up and letting the latter win. Other times, it wasn’t easy for him. She wondered what side would win. She hoped he confided in her. “I’m not fine. It’s hard for me to say.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, I just-”

“I do want to, though. You’ve always been there for me. Maybe I just wanted to pretend I was okay. Who knows? It’s just hard to say because I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m just trying to be tough for Taeyeon but…” Now, she knew what was coming. She gave him the time to sort out his words, to find them and tell her what was plaguing him. And when he did, her heart dropped.

Taehyung proceeded to tell her about how he had been working hard to make this Christmas an amazing one for his little sister, Taeyeon. She had always been fond of his sister, a youthful little girl who carried the same wondrous eyes of her older brother. And as Taehyung began to open up a little more, a lot more started to make sense. Questions that had poked at her in the past became answered in this moment. She hadn’t known that Taehyung’s mother wasn’t around as much as she had initially thought. Sure, Y/N had been good friends with him since they were fourteen. And she was aware that Taeyeon was his number one priority, that he loved his mom a lot but she wasn’t around as much as an outsider would expect.. 

She would have never guessed that his mom missed out on the holidays that played a part in their family, the holidays that mark a kid’s childhood, the weekends are spent with parents. It broke her heart to know that him and Taeyeon had only been experiencing Christmas with each other as company for who knows how long.

After he finished, she was holding back the pain in her chest and the tears that threatened to fall. He didn’t sound too sad, which meant he was comfortable with the situation. That could only mean this wasn’t the first Christmas his mom wasn’t around. It also must’ve meant he likely saw it coming. And it made the realization even worse.

“...And I didn’t tell you all this so you could feel bad for me. Taeyeonie and I are fine. I just… I was thinking about how sad she looks every time she opens her presents in the morning and only sees they’re from me. You know, on Christmas Eve I do nothing but watch movies with her to keep her distracted. But every time she hears a noise outside the door, her head snaps toward it. Like… like she’s expecting Mom to walk through it. It makes me angry. Because I want to give her the world, but I can’t give her the one thing I know would make her extremely happy. When she was younger, she used to ask questions, wonder why Mom wasn’t around on Christmas morning. Now, my blood boils because it’s like she already knows. She’s conditioned to it, like she doesn’t have to ask anymore. I can’t figure out which one feels worse.”

“Tae…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know. I’m sorry,” His voice wobbled too, but he was strong. He always had been. 

“Don’t be. You don’t have to be sorry about this.” They both fell into silence, and she wanted to ease his pain, so badly it lit up her entire body. She wanted to embrace both him and Taeyeon, the starry eyed little girl who had her heart the first day she met her. She wanted to do everything in her power to ease their pain, even a little bit. Without any hesitation, she let your heart take the wheel. “Would you guys maybe want to spend Christmas Eve with us?” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N and her mom were on the third episode of a sitcom when she heard a car pull up in the driveway. Pausing the show, they both listened. One car door slam, two car door slam, three-

Jumping up to her feet, she rushed to the front door, her heart soaring at the sound of her dad and Hoseok’s voices blending together as they approached from the other side. Throwing the door open, her eyes immediately connected with Hoseok’s smiley gaze. She launched herself toward him, his laughter breaking past his lips as he accepted her hug effortlessly.

“Hobi! I’m so happy!” She tried to keep the tears at bay, but she was almost in disbelief at the change of events. At this time yesterday, she was unsure of how Christmas was going to play out. She was melancholic at the thought of not seeing her brother. Here she was twenty four hours later, holding him and thankful at the unexpected turn of events. 

Not soon after, her mom interrupted their moment to hug him, her own face shiny with tears. Hoseok offered up a comforting smile to her, but his whole body was bouncy with happiness. Just like he always should be. The feeling in her chest couldn’t be put into words, she was utterly filled to the brim with joy.

Turning to her dad, she hugged him just as tightly. He held her, a chaste kiss being placed atop her head.

“Thank you, dad. Thank you so much.”

“No, Y/N. Thank you.”

“Who’s this?” Once again, her mom interrupted another moment she was having. This time, she had garnered everyone’s attention at her questioning. Y/N’s gaze followed her mom’s inquisition, her eyebrows rising in surprise. Amongst all the embraces and happiness, she hadn’t noticed a lone figure standing back, hovering a little awkwardly. 

He was young, possibly a little younger than her. His hair was dark and shielding his eyes. The clothes that adorned his body were just as dark as his hair. Even though his appearance was gloomy, he had quite the boyish face. 

“Oh,” Hoseok strode over to the quiet guy, his arm falling across his shoulder as he addressed her and her mom with yet another blinding smile. “This is Jungkook. He’s my roommate back at my university. He can be a bit quiet, but once he warms up he’s gonna be as loud as me.”

“Great. Just what we need,” She offered up jokingly. She laughed at the sight of Jungkook flashing Hoseok a disbelieving look. 

“Oh,” Their mom’s tone was surprised but pleasant. “Is he spending Christmas with us?”

“Yeah, he is. Is that fine?” It was the first time Hoseok’s smile disappeared, worry creasing his  face. But he should know better. Growing up, their mom was avid in one particular message during Christmas: no one should spend it alone. Although Christmas Eve dinner typically had the same faces every year, she and Hoseok would expect to see someone there that hadn’t been the prior year. Their mom was soft like that. 

“The more the merrier. It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~

There was a rhythmic knock at her bedroom door, and she could recognize it anywhere. Considering Hoseok liked to knock the beat of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, it was pretty easy to distinguish. Leaning back in her desk chair, she called out that the door was unlocked. It opened to reveal her smiley brother, inevitably making her a smiling mess too. The joy from earlier hadn’t worn off quite yet and if possible, it felt like she had received an early Christmas present. That’s exactly was. Hoseok was a gift.

“It’s good to be home.”

“It’s good to have you home. It wouldn’t have been the same without you here.” At her words, he beamed even brighter. She wondered if there was anyone as warm as him in the world. She would argue that no, there wasn’t anyone that could compete. 

He trailed into the room then, letting a comfortable silence fall between the two of them. She watched him as he fondly took in her room, chuckling at the sight of a goofy photo of both of them on her bedside. It had been too long since she last saw Hoseok.

“Where’s Jungkook?” She asked, curious about his friend. 

“He’s fine. He’s on the couch playing a game on his phone. I’ll be down there soon.” 

She nodded before asking, “Mom and dad?”

“Went to bed. They said the day took a toll on them. I agree. It was quite the roller coaster.” He finished his statement by spinning and eyeing her, as if she was a suspect in some interrogation room. She met his gaze head on, playing innocent. He continued talking. “I never would have woke up this morning thinking that dad would show up at my apartment, scaring Kook and demanding to see me. When I saw him, I felt like I died. But he wasted no time to apologize, grumpy face and all.”

She laughed a little before getting up and facing him. “I’m glad you accepted his apology.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“They hurt you. And didn’t show their support.”

He merely shook his head before he responded, “I love them and I missed them. We all make mistakes. What I want to know is if this was all your doing?”

For whatever reason, she grew a little shy. “I played a hand. I argued with dad and thought I didn’t get through to him. Mom took care of it though. To be honest, Taehyung gave me the idea to confront them in the first place. I wanted my big brother home.”

His face dawned with realization before suddenly he lurched forward and held her in a light chokehold, rubbing his knuckles on the top of her head. She shrieked in protest, fighting to get away from his arms. He was being too loud, but she had a feeling their parents wouldn’t be barging in to scold them tonight. Gosh, she really missed him. Even his too-strong cologne was the same, practically burning her nostrils. Most people loved it, but she always said a softer scent would better suit him.

After he finished his assault on her head, she huffed and shoved him away gently. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she glared at the sight of her unruly hair. She wasn’t angry, though, she was too happy to have him here.

“My little teddy looks so precious when she looks like a witch.”

“Shut up before I punch you in the throat.”

Yeah, mostly happy.

His eyes went comically wide as he held his hands up in surrender. “Violent! Geez, don’t cast a curse or anything.” Just like usual, his attention shifted as he threw himself on her bed. “Tae, huh? How is he? I think I haven’t seen him since your graduation.”

“He’s…” She was going to say he was fine, but it felt like a lie. Hoseok caught her hesitation, watching her closely.. “He’s tough. I admire him and his strength. He has some things going on with family. I invited him and Taeyeon to Christmas Eve dinner.”

His face was filled with understanding, knowing not to prod. “Are they coming?”

“He said he would think about it. I won’t force him to. I hope they come though.”

“Me too. I always thought he was cool. Cooler than the other friends you brought around,” He gave her a funny look at her eye roll before continuing, “And I haven’t seen Taeyeon since your graduation either. How old is she now?”

“She’s eight now. And we all know how much she loves you.” She feigned bitterness, but it had made her happy years ago when Tae’s younger sister took a liking to her brother. It made it feel like they had two more siblings. 

“What can I say? I’m everyone’s favorite,”He joked, sitting up on her bed. 

“The fact that you don’t know that that’s the actual truth is annoying.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” He dismissed as he stood to his feet. “Now I think it’s time to carry out our Christmas tradition.”

“It’s not Christmas yet.” She smiled at his pointed look. 

“It’s hot chocolate time! And The Polar Express! You know that Kook has never seen it?”

She exclaimed in horror, following him out the room. “The audacity! Speaking of... Kook,” Hoseok smiled at her awkward attempt to use the boy’s nickname, “Is everything alright with him? He’s spending Christmas with us…”

Hoseok’s voice grew quiet, which was odd considering he was so loud in any given situation. “Everything’s fine. The weather wasn’t looking good and his family didn’t want him flying out today. They got him a flight for the day after Christmas. He was really down, and it was one of the main reasons I was going to stay on campus too. But dad showing up out of nowhere really put a dent in my plans. There was no way I was leaving him there alone. So here we are.”

If possible, she admired her brother even more. He had the biggest heart, and one day she hoped to be as selfless as him. Their talk ended there, arriving to the living room to find Jungkook doing the exact thing Hoseok had said he was doing. His gaze jumped up at the sound of their arrival. 

“Kook, it’s time for us to change your life.”

Coolly, he raised one eyebrow. She wished she knew how to do that. “That doesn’t sound good. What nonsense are you going on about now?”

“Watch it, kid. Remember who’s older.”

Jungkook sighed, turning off his phone before he asked again, “What do you mean, change my life?”

Hoseok smiled creepily, evading the question entirely by staring at his friend for a beat too long. She quickly grew impatient, so she reached over and lugged him in the arm. He shouted in pain, effectively ending his theatrics as he complained underneath his breath.

She said, “We’re going to watch The Polar Express. I heard you’ve never seen it.”

“Oh, yeah I haven’t. Hoseok nearly killed me when I told him. You offended too?” The guy had a bit of sassiness to him. It was kind of refreshing, given that a lot of Hoseok’s friends were just like him: warm and bubbly. Jungkook was different, more quiet but more witty and unafraid. 

“No, I’m not. It is going to change you though. Hoseok and I love it.”

“Well. Let’s see if it’s worth all the hype.”

She merely shook her head before taking the recliner, grabbing the remote and finding The Polar Express. About ten minutes into the movie, Hoseok announced that it seemed like it was the perfect time for hot chocolate. The only issue was, neither of them wanted to get up and make it. After having the movie paused for too long as the siblings stared each other down, she suggested a game of rock, paper, scissors to determine who gets up.

“No fair. You know I’m not lucky.”

She shrugged. “Oh well. Best two out of three.” He sighed, before raising his fist to get ready. 

Jungkook called it out for them. The first round, Hoseok chose paper and she chose scissors.

Hoseok cursed, his face scrunching in concentration. She wanted to laugh, but she didn’t want to risk getting him angry. The second round went to him, her shushing him when he celebrated a little too loud. 

The last round, the two of them must’ve read each other’s mind as they picked the same play three straight times. Finally, Hoseok took the round as winner. Jumping to his feet, he danced around wildly, his arms flailing like a seal before he began a smooth dance.

“We get it, showoff. You can dance,” She hissed, having to control the urge to lug him once more. She wasted no time heading to the kitchen. 

“Your sister’s funny,” She heard Jungkook try and say quietly but failing miserably. Seems he and Hoseok do have a few things in common. It eased the loss she just experienced, a smile on her face as she prepared three hot chocolates.

As she waited for the milk to heat, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Pulling it out, her smile grew wider at the sight of her nickname for the person that pretty much owned her heart at this point. Reading the text, however, made her heart sink and her smile disappear. 

Yoyo:

Hey… I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be making it back home in time. I’m working Christmas Eve and I couldn’t get it off. As for Christmas, I’m spending it with my family. 

I’m really sorry. I know you wanted me to-

She didn’t want to read the rest, the upset feeling overwhelming her as she set her phone down. Trying to get a reign on her emotions, she finished preparing the hot chocolates. Taking them to the boys, she gave them a weak smile before going back to retrieve her own mug. 

She remained pretty quiet for the rest of the movie, forcing a laugh every time Hoseok made a joke or Jungkook made a witty comment. Somehow, she managed to fool the boys into thinking she was okay. 

It seemed something really didn’t want this Christmas to go well for her. 

Yoongi wasn’t going to be here. 

“Psst. Y/N,” Jungkook whispered toward the end of the movie. Her eyes left the movie, trailing to him and seeing him gesture to her brother. A genuine smile tugged at her lips at the sight of a knocked out Hoseok, his head lulling on the armrest of the couch. 

She grabbed her phone, wanting to take a picture of the sight. However, the sight of another text made her pause. It was from nearly an hour ago, and she wanted to punch herself for not responding. She could only imagine how worried he must have been from her lack of response.

Yoyo:

I’m really sorry, Y/N. I know you’re upset. I really wanted to spend the dinner with you and your family. I know how much it means to you. I’ll make it up to you.

Shaking it off, she told herself she’d answer him later before she took a picture of her brother. She chose to pretend she didn’t notice Jungkook’s prolonged stare.

Soon enough, the movie ended and she realized it was officially after midnight. It was Christmas Eve. The thought both made her happy and sad. Although she was bummed Yoongi wasn’t going to make it, she was happy that Hoseok was home and that there was a chance she was going to make things a little easier for Taehyung and his sister. 

Yes, this was still going to be a good Christmas.

“What the?” Hoseok startled awake, his bloodshot eyes shooting to the now dark television screen. “I missed the ending?! Come on, it’s the best part! When the boy can hear the bell,” He gave up in his ramble, too tired as he lay back down on the couch. 

“You sleeping there?” She asked, amused.

He hummed, mumbling that Jungkook was taking his bed. She proceeded to go and grab him blankets and a pillow, assuming his last hum was a thank you. This holiday season was making her a little too emotional than usual, but she didn’t fight it as she ruffled his hair and whispered, “Goodnight, Hobi.”

“Night, Teddy.”

Jungkook followed in the walk upstairs. His voice was quiet, nervous to wake up her parents.

“Teddy?”

She sighed. “I’d rather not talk about that embarrassing memory.” 

He proceeded to nod in understanding. That is, until he responded with, “I see. I’m sure Hoseok will tell me the story when I ask.”

She gaped at him while he attempted to muffle a laugh. Leading him to Hoseok’s room, she pushed the door open and flicked on the lights. She paused in the doorway for a moment, taking everything in as she realized that Hoseok’s room was just like it used to be. Nothing really changed since he moved out three years ago, and the same went for her. She remembered the first year of college for him, and how incomplete the house had felt. The puzzle was back together again for the holiday.

“Wow. His room screams Hoseok.” Jungkook’s voice somewhere from behind her. She nodded along in agreement, taking in the one wall cluttered with movie posters, the longest wall with professional shots he took with his own camera, and the furthest wall painted white with black constellations. 

“It really is, huh? Kinda showcases how passionate he truly is.” She spoke fondly before stepping aside and letting him walk into the room. Jungkook moved past her, taking a moment before hesitantly sitting on his bed. 

“I really admire Hoseok. I’ll have to admit, when I first met him, he was a bit much. He’s just so… different from me. Different, but the same. It’s hard to explain.” Jungkook shook his head, his fringe moving in the process. Watching him like this, a boyish young man in the center of her brother’s room, made her feel… almost like younger Hoseok was before her. She did sense that about him, how he was different but similar to him Life was like that sometimes. Maybe that’s why he and Hoseok clicked. 

“I understand what you mean. Hoseok has that effect on everyone. Whenever I try and tell him how great he is, he doesn’t really see it.”

Jungkook stared back at her, confident and assured now. It was vastly different from her first impression of him. “That’s how most great people are.”

She held his gaze for a moment before cracking a smile and plopping down in Hoseok’s desk chair. Albeit, she had to move several articles of clothing to even sit down, but she didn’t mind. Hoseok was an array of color, touching every single surface and every single person. 

“Hoseok talks about you a lot, you know. I felt like I knew you long before I met you,” His eyes were distant, like he was a grandfather retelling stories to his grandchildren. He looked at peace, his smile easy. It was a sight to behold. A slight chuckle bubbled out from his chest, one that she didn’t think he was aware of, before he threw her for another loop. “You know, he sees you the way you see him. It’s pretty sweet.”

She could only blink at him, not really sure what to say. She knew how close she was to Hoseok, she just never really thought about how he viewed her. She thought the world of him, and according to Jungkook he saw her the same way. 

A confused but sincere smile found her lips. Something about Jungkook’s admittance was enough to dismiss anything that was hanging over her head, if only for a moment. And spending time around Jungkook quickly made her understand why Hoseok adored him. 

“Tell me about your family, Jungkook. That is, if you want to.”

Her words surprised him, she could see it in his face. He blinked once before he nervously laughed it off. “Sure. Well, I don’t know if Hoseok told you but I’m going home the day after Christmas. The weather is pretty bad on the way back home. So they thought it was best to hold off a day or two. My mom’s a bit paranoid like that. It’s okay, though, I understand. She’s…” And at the mention of his mom, stars flickered in his eyes. 

He jumped right in, describing this driven and passionate woman, unmoved by hardships and stern in her ways. He spoke so highly of her, and how he wanted to take care of her the moment he got out of university. He described her like she was the greatest woman in the world, and she adored that. She could tell how much he loved his mom. 

Soon, he was talking rapidly and passionately, his eyes glancing at her here and there but mostly in another world as he started retelling memories. His attention shifted to his dad and his brother, how similar the two of them were and how balanced they made him and his mom. Where he took after his mom, his brother took after his dad. Regardless of the differences though, they seemed like a tight knit family.

After awhile, Jungkook lost all of his fire to continue talking about them. But in its wake was a lovely boy with distant eyes and a soft smile. It made her heart squeeze, both out of happiness that she got to know a little more about him and sadness for the fact that he wouldn’t get to spend Christmas day with them.

“I’m sorry you’re not with them right now. But soon you will be. And I’ll make sure you have a good Christmas with us.” Her voice was strong, firm as she tried to reassure him that he wasn’t alone. 

He didn’t seem as down as he was before though, choosing to nod with a smile. He whispered a thank you, the smile still present and reassuring her. It baffled her, because it should’ve been the other way around. She got the feeling that Jungkook wasn’t the type that liked to be worried about. However, in the short time knowing him, she was another person on his side.

Before she bid him goodnight, he left her with a short statement that melted her heart. 

“You know, you remind me of my mom. And if that’s anything to go by, I can tell you are someone I’ll love having around.”

And as she dozed off, a smile flickered on her lips. She held onto that feeling, refusing to let any of her worries creep in. When you’d wake, it would be Christmas Eve.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Nutcracker

She woke up to the sound of Hoseok’s booming voice. 

Any other day and it probably would have irritated her. But it was finally Christmas Eve, and she could bear the sound on this particular day. After she cleaned herself up, she headed downstairs to find an odd but endearing sight. Her dad was sitting at the table with both Hoseok and Jungkook, in the middle of telling them a story.

“Isn’t this an interesting sight?” She uttered at her mom as she walked past with her coffee mug. She shot her a look of agreement, but she could see in her mom’s eyes that she was just as happy as she’s been since Hoseok arrived.

“Sleeping beauty finally decided to join us!” Her dad acknowledged her, his eyes twinkling with his own joy.

“More like Maleficent,” Hoseok attempted to subtly tell Jungkook, but they all know his lack of whispering skills.

She shot him an irritated look, which he tried to soothe with his beaming smile. It worked.

“So. What’s on the list of to dos before dinner tonight? I know Mom has something planned for us all,” She sighed, pulling out the chair across from Jungkook and beside her dad. At the sight of recently cooked croissants, she picked one up with excitement. As she began eating, Hoseok proceeded to answer her question.

“Well first off, I’m taking this kid,” He hooked a thumb toward Jungkook, “To buy an outfit for tonight. He owns nothing festive. That just won’t do. I am not letting him eat an amazing Christmas meal wearing nothing but black sweats.”

Jungkook rubbed his forehead in clear distress. “I guess I understand.”

She chuckled. “Don’t overdo it, Hobi. If he’s comfortable, leave him be-”

“Nuh-uh, nope. I don’t care if he only ends up wearing a simple green sweater. As long as there’s some color, I’ll be satisfied.” She knew that wasn’t what was going to happen.

“Good luck, Jungkook,” She told him seriously, and she watched as he flashed her a look of dismay. He looked toward their dad for help, but he was lost in his own little world as he typed away at his computer.

“Y/N, please,” Jungkook whispered, as if she could help him. Truth is, she was relieved that someone else was Hoseok’s victim for a change. With his focus on Jungkook, she could get away with a semi-decent red sweater and pants if she wanted. He was on his own. 

Before she even got a chance to let him know that, her mother calling her over interrupted the conversation.

She got up quickly, but not before she shot him a thumbs up and said, “You’ll be fine. Hoseok, go easy on him.”

“No promises,” was his hollered response before she found her mom in the living room. She walked in with the intention of asking her a question, but it died on her lips at the sight of an unfamiliar man standing at the front door. The first thing she noticed was how tall he was, broad shouldered and practically taking up the whole foyer. The next thing she noticed was how stunning he was, perhaps the most breath-taking man she ever saw with her own eyes. His hair was dark and swept off his forehead, professional and serious. His eyebrows looked perfectly shaped, pulled in a furrow. His lips were plump, turned downward in a slight frown. The clothes that adorned him made it look like he just came back from an important meeting. He was all business. No pleasure. He was art, a painting of a stunning man frozen in his sorrows.

“Uh…” His gaze turned to her, searing and making her feel flustered.

Her mom was a different picture entirely, bright like a night light. She clapped once in excitement, before she said, “Y/N! I’ve been waiting for this moment, you don’t even know. Do you remember the Kims from across the street? This is their eldest son, Seokjin! I’ve told you about him, how he helps me and your dad out. I thought you’d never get to meet him, but luck is on our side! He made it back for the holiday!”

She suddenly felt severely under-dressed when meeting someone as intimidating as he looked. But as she stepped forward and extended a hand, his lips lifted into a smile that looked like it was meant for someone special. It made her feel warm all over, her lips glued shut as she reached out and shook his hand.

“Your mother has told me a lot about you. She’s really proud of you, and all of her praises made me curious to meet the one and only.” His voice was melodic, less bold than she expected. 

“I,uh, yeah she’s told me about you too,” At least she thought she did, considering she could not remember a thing about the man in front of her. 

“Seokjin was just dropping by to give us these homemade cookies,” She held up a container happily, “Isn’t he so sweet? You really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but it was a small token for all of the times you and your husband have taken me in for a nice dinner. You know my parents are always travelling. That big house can be quite lonely.” She knew her mom too well, watching in mild horror as she recognized the twinkle in her eye.

The question may seem innocent to an outsider, but she knew where it was leading. “What are you plans for the evening? I know your parents are travelling for the holiday.”

He shook his head and did a playful eye roll. “When aren’t they travelling? But anyways, Namjoon is flying in for the holiday. Haven’t seen him in who knows how long, but he’s finally coming home. We were thinking of maybe ordering takeout and watching a movie or something. He doesn’t really do anything for the holidays. Our other brothers are all scattered.”

She watched as if it were a movie unfolding, her mother shooting him her signature smile. “I would hate for the both of you to not have a home cooked meal on today of all days. The two of you should come over tonight.”

Immediately Seokjin shook his head, his hands coming up to politely refuse. “No, it’s fine, really-”

“It just won’t do, son.” Y/N mouthed the word ‘son’ to herself, wondering how exactly this young man snuck his way into her mom’s heart. “We’d love for you to join us. It’s a tradition we uphold every year, to have Christmas Eve dinner with family and friends. My best friend and her family are coming, my kids are home for the holiday, and others are coming. Everyone is welcome. And now I think it would make it absolutely perfect if you and your brother join us.”

Seokjin stared at her mother with a slightly agape mouth, causing her to hold back a laugh. He looked like he was backed into a corner, his face frozen in surprise. Finally he got over his shock, composing himself by smoothing down his dress shirt and clearing his throat.

“A-are you sure? I wouldn’t want to make things worse on you-”

“Seokjin! Is that you?” The three of them turned at the sight of all the men in the house making their way into the room. She felt bad for this man she just met. She watched in confusion as her father stepped forward and embraced him. 

Hoseok looked just as curious as her, looking to her for an answer to his question. She just shrugged. 

“How are you? We haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Seokjin focused all his attention on her parents, explaining to them what he’s been up to and how busy work has made him. She sidled up next to her brother and Jungkook.

“Who is this guy? And why does he look like he just stepped out of a GQ magazine?” Jungkook asked, the three of them watching the interaction happening in front of them.

Y/N uttered, “I guess he’s our neighbor. The Kims’ son. Why haven’t we met him before?”

Hoseok shrugged, humming in thought before he said, “He must be the really successful one. The one never around.”

“Hey Seok? Probably shouldn’t talk about him,” Jungkook uttered.

“Why?”

“Because you can’t whisper and they’re looking at you.”

Hoseok looked at him confusingly before trailing to his parents. His eyes widened comically, their gazes angry and Seokjin’s amused. Nervously laughing it off, he stepped forward and introduced himself. 

She simply observed, watching as Hoseok cracked a few jokes and made Seokjin laugh. Everyone seemed to ease up, and soon enough it felt natural. The topic of tonight came up again, and her mom didn’t hesitate to sink her claws into him once more.

With your dad staring at him, it seemed Seokjin couldn’t refuse anymore.

“Alright. I’ll let Namjoon know the change of plans. We’ll see you tonight.”

Her mom clapped with glee, causing she and her brother to share a look. It seemed like Seokjin was her favorite kid and he wasn’t even her son. Their dad clapped him on the back, shaking his hand and enthusing about seeing him tonight. 

“It was nice meeting you,” Seokjin’s gaze swept past her and Hoseok with a polite nod before he headed out the door. 

Their parents stood at the front door, their mom shouting, “And dress down, Seokjin! We want you to be comfortable!” His yell back was indiscernible, but at the small exchange she witnessed, she was officially curious about this man whom her parents loved.

When their parents turned back to the room, their smiles died down at the sight of their questioning children.

“What?” Their dad grumbled, his eyes narrowing.

Hoseok laughed through his question, “What was that?!”

“What was what?”

“Is he our long lost brother?” She joked,  pretty amused with how smitten her parents had seemed.

“What are you talking about?” Their mom asked, that previous excitement she had displayed long gone now.

“You guys stared at him with heart eyes. I’m a little hurt,” Hoseok wiped away

an imaginary tear.

“Oh relax. He’s just an amazing young man. He’s so thoughtful and responsible. I think you and Y/N will really like him once you get to know him,” Their mom sounded confident, before she walked past and to the kitchen. She called Y/N to follow her. 

Her started washing the breakfast dishes, chatting with her and letting her know the game plan of how the day was going to go, what needed to be done before dinner time. A few minutes passed before the topic of Seokjin came up again. However, this time around she learned more than before.

“You know, I’m really glad he’s coming tonight. I was hoping he would end up agreeing. He is such a good man with a big heart. I know you and Hoseok don’t really know him yet, but trust me when I say you’ll love him just as much as I do. And,” she sighed, piquing her attention as she looked at her mom curiously, “My heart goes out to him. Not everyone is as fortunate to spend time with family during the holidays. Some people aren’t affected by that. The Kims have never been festive like that, and that’s completely fine. But… given what’s recently happened with Seokjin, I didn’t want him to have a gloomy night.”

“What happened?” She found herself asking. At her next words, her heart saddened for the man she just met.

“Recently, his fiancée called off their engagement. To be quite honest, she broke his heart. And he hasn’t really been the same since. I just want him to have a good dinner with us, at the least.”

Thinking back on Seokjin, she never would’ve guessed he was hurting. He was so put together, his smiles effortless. The revelation was unfortunate, but she was impressed by the strength the man so obviously possessed. She was completely on board with the idea of giving him a good Christmas Eve dinner. 

“I’m glad he’s coming.”

Her mom looked over her shoulder at her, reciprocating a smile. “Me too, Y/N. Me too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The holiday music was soft and playing in the background, but it caressed her skin. The smell of dinner wafted from the kitchen, filling up the entire house with a gentle and mouth-watering sensation.  The air was warm, and she couldn’t decide if it was because of the body heat or the heater. The room carried an almost angelic glow, and she was positive that if she told anyone, they would look at her funny. There was truly nothing quite like Christmas, and it had shown up before she could give it a proper greeting. 

“You look nice.” Hoseok’s voice came from behind, and she turned to greet him with a smile. He was dressed for the part, his hair parted and neat. His ensemble was a bit… much, given his usual style. She didn’t comment, because admittedly he looked handsome in his maroon fitted sweater with a collar and slacks.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked.

“Oh, nothing. I was just expecting you to comment on how I wasn’t following the Christmas color theme.” She hadn’t expected less, considering she was wearing a white sleeved shirt and a skirt. Nothing too fancy, but still a bit considerate.

Hoseok merely shrugged. “Unfortunately, you weren’t my responsibility this year. Kook is a lot more picky than he looks. I practically had to drag him out of the store with one new outfit. One. Speaking of that kid, he should be coming down any moment now,” His head was craned and his eyes were drawn to the hall where the stairs resided. But that wasn’t where her focus laid, no, it was something much more pressing. 

So far, only her aunt and uncle had arrived with her cousins. Currently, they were running around and hollering louder than necessary. But she didn’t mind, not when her mind was split in a few different directions. 

One reason was the fact that the neighbor’s son Seokjin and his brother had arrived about five minutes earlier. They were currently in the corner of the room, conversing with her father and making him laugh at something she couldn’t hear but likely wasn’t that funny. She found it easier to admit as time passed, Kim Seokjin was definitely a sight that she couldn’t exactly pull away from with the snap of a finger. The man should be on magazine covers. 

Another probing thought was whether or not Taehyung was showing up. He had stopped answering her texts around noon, the last topic being about him still unsure if he was attending. She hoped with all her heart he would show. 

The most prominent thought plaguing her, so much that it was the one she had to fight to suppress if she didn’t want to be down all night, was Yoongi. She hadn’t really gotten much opportunity to talk to him since he broke the news to her, but it was true that she couldn’t find the words. Genuinely, she understood where he was coming from and was happy. She would never want someone to not get the opportunity to spend time with her family. That didn’t dismiss her disappointment in not getting to see him tonight, the night she had been dreaming to see him for a while now. 

It was the reason they had held off coming to visit each other at each other’s schools. He was older, about to graduate and she had a while to go. She knew he was busy most of the time, so they figured that the next best thing was to spend time with each other on the holidays. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out when they both had jobs and lived a few hours from each other. 

The two of them hadn’t even figured out what this was, but all she knew was that she wanted to make it work. When she realized her feelings for him, she knew that he was it for her. He was her Christmas in a person. 

To not have her Christmas person not with her on Christmas Eve, well, it was a major disappointment. All she could do was keep her head up. 

“Hey teddy… I was trying to wait for you to approach the subject first, but you know me and my impatience. It’s Christmas Eve after all,” She was confused to see Hoseok acting slightly nervous, but she understood why moments later, “Is Yoongi joining us tonight or not?”

Spluttering, all of her breath that had been currently inhabiting your lungs disappeared. She stared at her brother wide-eyed, wondering how he could possibly know-

“Do you think I’m stupid? Both of you are so smitten, it’s disgusting. I’m the one who introduced the two of you. Not only that, I spend the better half of my weeks with the guy. Lastly, you two are the least sneaky people I have ever met. Did you guys really think I wouldn’t find out? And neither of you are actually hiding it considering he’s always asking me about you and you’re constantly bringing him up and-”

“Okay, okay. I get it. You figured it out.” She sighed, rubbing at her forehead. If anything, it made her heart even heavier. 

Min Yoongi wasn’t just a guest that had been invited on short notice. In fact, he was never meant to be a guest. He was a man that spoke more with his hands, the way that he gripped onto her for a second longer than necessary or when he pressed into her back to lead her. She had to watch him to understand him, specifically his face, to know what was really on his mind. She knew when he was tired, his eyes low and his speech even slower than usual. His happiness was easier to observe, his lips loose and his eyes carrying a subtle excitement.

As luck would have it, she had met him by chance when she had went to surprise visit Hoseok earlier this year. The two of them hadn’t fallen for each other at first, mostly spending time together that one time. She remembered her innocent curiosity, requesting to follow him on social media and how he took a day to accept. He was the first to message, their conversations light and inquisitive. 

It wasn’t long before she started to feel a shift in their conversations, how profound and intimate they became. She was the first to make an excuse to come and visit. She did it a second time. He did it the third. Whenever she looked into his dark eyes, it was like looking into another world.. Dark eyes carried her solace, carried a mirror to the life she wanted to live. Eyes that weren’t actually dark but an array of colors, all brand new and enamoring.

She liked to compare him to home. To anyone else, it might be a house with no distinctive feature. To her, it was walking in and feeling like she could finally and fully be herself. 

In nearly a year, he had become one of the most important people in her entire life. And deep down, she knew he always would be. 

“Y/N? Are you going to answer me? I didn’t get to see him much this last month. Whenever I was working, he wasn’t and vice versa. Last time I talked to him, he told me he was trying his best to come visit you, but he wasn’t positive.”

“How long have you known?” She ignored how sad she actually sounded, attempting to toughen up and tell herself that him not being present didn’t have to sour the night.

Hoseok shrugged, a certain glint in his eye. His eyes found the Christmas tree as he answered. “You’re my baby sis. And he’s a good friend. I was suspicious at first, because he seemed a little lighter after you visited that first time. And you seemed a lot more giddy. It didn’t take a genius to see the signs after you visited two more times in the same month,” She covered her face in embarrassment, wondering if he was angry.

Again, he answered her silent question. “I’m happy for you. I don’t need to know all the details. As long as he treats you well, and the both of you are happy, then I’m happy.”

She couldn’t help but embrace him, her heart soaring as she wondered how she had been blessed to have such a phenomenal brother. Pulling away, she whispered her thanks. At the sound of her mom calling for her, she figured she would answer her brother and use the new guests as her escape.

“He can’t come tonight. I’ll probably see him when next semester starts.” She ignored his exclaim of confusion, pausing in the entrance of the kitchen and composing her erratic feelings. Even if Yoongi wasn’t here, it didn’t mean the night would be any less special. That’s what she kept telling herself. She knew it was true, but it was hard to snap out of her disappointment.

She stepped into the room with a smile, a question on the tip of her tongue before she stopped in her tracks. 

Her mother was sitting at the dining room table, Seokjin sat across from her with an attentive smile adorning his lips. She spotted Y/N, her face lit up as she enthusiastically waved her over. She approached slowly, his smile fading at the sight of her for a moment before he adjusted it into something more friendly.

“I was just telling Seokjin about how you’re still in school, studying and working hard for your major.”

He waved his hand. “Please, call me Jin. Seokjin makes me feel old.”

“Oh hon, you’re not old. Trust me.” It was odd to hear her mother’s unrestrained laugh, to see the same adoration that she held for her and Hoseok shimmer in her eyes as she gazed at Seokjin. Y/N wondered what exactly it was about the man before her that had her mom enamored.

“How did you like your classes this past semester?”His voice was gentle in addressing someone he barely knew. But she had heard him earlier among his banter with her dad. He had a strong personality hidden in the depth of those curious eyes, a loud voice in which he was restraining out of politeness or weariness, she did not know. 

She entertained his questions, a mild conversation about school and work ensuing between the two of them. At one point, her mom spoke about having to leave for a moment. 

She thought she would feel uncomfortable alone with him, but it was quite the opposite. He was a character, animated in his story-telling and thundering in his laughter. Little by little, she opened up and saw why her parents adored him. 

“Truthfully, I’m happy your mother called you in here. I had been meaning to officially meet you. She loves talking about you and Hoseok. So much that, she actually made me excited to meet you two.”

“That so? I never really thought about her doing that,” Her eyes found the fabric on top of the table, her hands tracing the design. For whatever reason, she was shy at the thought. If he noticed, he didn’t comment.

“Believe me, she does. She really loves the two of you. And… I know it meant a lot to her that Hoseok was able to come.” Ah, so he knew about the previous divide in the family. She wondered just how much he happened to know. 

“Well,” She waved her hand, “That’s behind us. I did notice how much she happens to love you. My dad too. You’re like their third kid or something.”

His eyes shone with pride for a moment before it dulled, his smile fading. “Yeah… they’re really great. Without them, I don’t know if I would’ve pulled through some rough moments I had this year.”

What her mother told her earlier rang in her ears. It jostled her, but only for a moment. She shook it off, giving him a gentle smile.

“I’m glad I got to meet you, Jin. It means a lot that you came tonight.”

Without looking at Y/N, a smile grew on his lips. “It means more to me than you’ll ever know, that I’m here tonight. Your parents are something else.”

“And so are you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t love you so much.” She watched as his neck grew flushed.

“Thank you, Y/N.” A whisper.

“No need to thank-”

“No, really. Thank you.” 

And for his sake, she pretended not to notice the actual shine in his eyes, instead returning the smile he directed at her. 

He was a good man, indeed. And she hoped this was the first night of many that built him back up again.

~~~~~~~~~~

The Carolers

She was joking around with Hoseok and Jungkook when the doorbell rang, only to reveal the Parks had finally arrived. They stood poised in the doorway, her mother exclaiming loudly at the sight of her best friend. As they exchanged hugs, Mr. Park maneuvered around them to greet her dad, leaving Jimin hovering in the doorway. 

“There’s Jimin,” Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows, causing Y/N to roll her eyes.

“What’s the scoop on him?” Jungkook asked. 

“Nothing. He’s yet another one of my friends Y/N has had a crush on.”

“Dude!” Y/N exclaimed, walking away from him and slinking into the couch as she ignored his teasing laughter. 

To distract herself from her brother, she watched her little cousins run past, her uncle chasing them. Her aunt joined the other older women, the three of them catching up on whatever it was they needed to talk about. 

It was nice and full, so warm and angelic. It was almost complete. Almost. 

Looking over, she noticed that Jimin had made it inside and was in the middle of unwrapping his scarf from his neck. His face was slimmer now, more mature. Her heart was trained to jump at the sight of him, but he didn’t give her that longing feeling he used to give her. 

That feeling was reserved for someone else, now. 

Checking her phone, she noticed a text had come in from Yoongi around thirty minutes ago. They had been texting on and off all day. She could tell he was feeling awful about not being able to make it, but she reassured him that she understood. It was still sad to not have him around on this wonderful day. 

Yoyo:

How’s everything going? 

Y/N:

Going well so far! Mostly everyone is here. Taehyung hasn’t shown up with his sister yet. And my mom invited the neighbors’ sons. They might show up. 

He responded quickly. He always had since the moment they first talked. 

Yoyo:

I’m sure they will. 

Are you excited for tonight? 

Y/N:

Yes I am! It’s my favorite holiday. Since I was little, I’ve had nothing but golden memories of this day. It’s…. Magical. 

To be completely truthful, the answer to his question was yes and no. It wasn’t perfect without him, but he was with her through the phone. And that had to be enough for her. She hoped he would have the best Christmas ever. If anyone deserved to, it was him. 

In the middle of texting him that, someone sat beside her. Looking up, her face contorted into surprise. Quickly, it morphed into a soft smile to mimic Jimin’s own. 

“Y/N.”

“Jimin.” She looked into the young man’s eyes that used to keep her up at night daydreaming, and now all she felt was a distant fondness. He may have matured in his looks, but he still had the same boyish eyes. 

“How are you? I usually ask Hoseok but now that I’m finally seeing you, I figured I didn’t need the messenger.”

She acknowledged his tone with a bigger smile. “I’ve been really well. The semester was busy but I survived. And I got a new job, which makes the days go by quicker. I’m honestly really happy to be home. What about you? How is it living so far away?”

Jimin tilted his head in thought. She took a moment to study him up close. He was styling his hair different now, more of a mature look. He had it swept to one side of his forehead, but other than that it was a short and neat haircut. It was pretty short now, remembering in high school he would let it grow out and dye it blond. He was back to more of a natural look, and she adored it. 

A part of her was always going to adore him. He was, after all, her first crush. Before Yoongi, she referred to him as her first love. Now that knew what love really was, she knew otherwise. 

“I’ve adjusted. It was pretty hard at first. Being away from everyone. I missed my parents a lot and thought about transferring. Somewhere around November, I found my groove. I’ve met a couple friends who make the days easier. And I really love my major.”

“I could never do Environmental Engineering. Highly impressive.”

“Ah, we all have our different skills.” There he was, the Jimin from her memory. He downplayed everything because he wanted everyone to feel good. He was an angel even in the slightest ways. 

They went on to talk about different things, first catching up and asking about each other and then moving onto reminiscing. It was peaceful, being able to talk with someone who knew her childhood. It was rare to have a connection with someone because they were apart of that, and they understood that part of you. 

Going to college, one meets all kinds of different people. They come in endless different forms, and one forms new and unforgettable bonds that may last for a lifetime. There is no one quite like the people you knew beforehand, the ones that were around when growing up. 

Those people are a different tier, a tier of old memories and different kind of fondness. 

He had just made Y/N laugh when the doorbell rang once more. Hoseok opened it this time, grabbing her attention when he shouted, “Hey! It’s been so long, man!”

She jumped up at the sight of Taehyung, his sister peeking out from behind him. She rushed over to them, and at the acknowledgement of Taehyung’s smile, she hugged him tightly. 

“I’m so glad you decided to come,” She whispered.

“I realized I couldn’t miss spending time with you and your family. You guys were always good to me.”

“And we always will be.” She pulled away and they looked at each other with appreciation, mostly with different reasons but the same sentiment. 

She ushered him inside, both of them pausing at the sight of Taeyeon chatting up a storm with Hoseok. He was knelt to her level, a blinding smile on his lips. She had forgotten how he pulled out a side to her none of them usually saw. 

Hoseok sparked minds, old or young.

Once her brother noticed them, he uttered something to Taeyeon and then pointed at the two of them. Taeyeon turned and widened her eyes, rushing to the both of them. Yanking on their hands, she pulled them forward. 

Y/N and Taehyung shared a look, before going along with it.

“Come on! Hoseok told me you have toys packed away in your closet! Let’s play with them!”

“Hoseok,” She called her brother, who raised his hands in surrender.

“She asked me if I still had my toy train. I do not. But you have your old toys so.”

“You need to come too, Hobi!” Taeyeon instructed, the mention of his name causing his eyes to widen in shock. 

“Me?” He asked, pointing to himself.

“Yes, silly! You’re the only Hobi I know,” She whispered loudly to Y/N, “Kind of a weird name.” 

Hoseok’s mouth dropped, looking offended and causing Taehyung and Y/N to laugh. Thankfully, before Taeyeon could successfully pull them onto the stairs, Y/N and Hoseok’s parents stopped them. 

Her mom stepped in front of them, greeting them with a cherry red smile. “My, my. If it isn’t the daredevil duo. I haven’t seen you since you were six,” She greeted toward Taeyeon, who grew shy at the new amount of attention. She ducked behind her brother again, causing the adults around her to laugh. 

“Sorry, she’s still a little shy whenever someone new talks to her,” Taehyung apologized.

“You don’t have to apologize. Some kids are.” Her mom stepped to Taehyung and gently placed her hands on his shoulders. “Taehyung, you’ve grown so much. We’ve missed having you around.”

“I’ve missed coming around, too. Everything’s changed, huh?” He said, stepping into her hug. 

“Yes, it has. I know it’s for the good, but sometimes you can’t tell if it really is,” She told him. 

Y/N and Hoseok stayed quiet, knowing not to comment on that. They knew how sentimental their mother could be, and they knew it was hard for her to have both of them out of the house for most of the year. It hurt Y/N more than she would ever reveal to her, because she knew it would only make it harder for everyone. 

So she put on a smile and asked Taeyeon if she wanted to meet some new friends as Taehyung caught up with her parents. 

Taeyeon nodded, taking her hand and letting Y/N lead her to where Jimin and Jungkook stood in the kitchen. Hoseok had joined them right before her, noticing they were talking about some Netflix show the three of them loved. She cut them off, but she had a feeling they wouldn’t mind.

“Sorry to interrupt, but a friend of mine here would like to meet you guys! Taeyeon, this is Jimin and Jungkook.”

“We’ve met before. We had lots of fun at your birthday party a couple years ago, remember?” Jimin smiled down at her. His eyes widened in shock at her response.

“I don’t remember you. You were at my party?”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah! Remember? Your brother invited Y/N and me! We brought Jimin with us. We bought you your own toy train, and then we jumped in your bouncy house with you!”

“I remember that, but I only remember Hobi being there,” She said accusingly, as if Jimin were lying to her. 

He struggled for words, not knowing what to say as everyone else stifled their laughter at the little girl’s probing gaze.

“I-uh, well, I was, uh, I was there. You must not remember! I wouldn’t lie about that. The party was so fun! I loved the cake. I even helped you when you couldn’t find your friends in hide and seek! I pointed out where they hid!”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “So you’re a liar and a cheater!”

“What?!” Jimin exclaimed. 

Hoseok burst out in laughter, causing Y/N to follow. Jungkook was a little better at maintaining his control, deciding to throw Jimin a line.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook. So you’re the sister of…?”

“Taehyung. He’s my brother. He’s in there talking to the adults. He’s pretty cool. Sometimes. You might like him.”

“I’m sure I will,” Jungkook said, a smile tugging at his lips. They were all amused, taken aback by Taeyeon’s sharpness with Jimin. 

It was a pleasant conversation after that, all of them loving Taeyeon’s insight. They even consoled her when she worried about there being no kids there, as if on cue Y/N’s young cousins bolting in. They asked Taeyeon to play with them, and she agreed shyly. 

Once she was gone, they all sat at the kitchen table. It was odd for Y/N, almost as if she were transported back into the past. If it weren’t for Jungkook, she could fool herself into being back in high school on a Friday night, waiting for popcorn to finish in the microwave so her, Hoseok, and Jimin could watch a movie. 

Taehyung soon joined them. Then, her mom and her uncle trailed into the kitchen, continuing whatever they were finishing up for dinner. Y/N introduced Taehyung to Jungkook, but let him do his own thing. It always depended with him. Sometimes, he was quiet with meeting new people, sometimes he was loud with his personality. 

It seemed they were all vibing well, not having any trouble keeping a conversation going. She liked this, having warm faces surrounding her. It made this Christmas special on its own, because the majority of the people sat at the same table as her, she hadn’t known if they would be in attendance at all. 

These were her people. This was her home. 

She realized why people believed in Christmas miracles. Sometimes someone can find themselves wondering if Christmas will work out. And somehow, in some way, all the pieces fall right into place. 

Just then, the doorbell rang for the last time. Hearing her dad’s greeting from the living room, they knew it was the two brothers from the neighborhood. 

“I’m not even lying, the oldest brother looks like a Disney prince,” Hoseok spoke with conviction, upon Jimin and Taehyung’s look of question on who just arrived. 

Taehyung looked to Y/N for agreement, and she nodded. 

“He’s not that good-looking. He’s no Prince Naveen,” Jungkook muttered. When they all looked at him, he added, “What? Am I the only one watching Disney plus or what?”

They all looked at him for even longer before Hoseok ignored him altogether, “Alright. Let’s go greet them.”

Taehyung leaned over to Y/N and uttered, “Looks like Hopeful’s got a man crush.”

“Looks like everyone does. Even my parents are in love with the guy. I don’t blame them. He’s pretty great.”

“That so? Then I got to meet this supposed prince.” His tone was sarcastic, but she knew that because he was joking around. Whenever he joked around, it meant he was comfortable. And it made her chest flutter with love. 

There was nothing more satisfying than seeing the people she loved when they were happy. She wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

“Then let’s go, Prince Tae.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The group made their way into the living room, just as her dad began to introduce the pair to everyone else in the room. 

“Everyone! These are the Kims’ sons from across the street. You all know Seokjin,” Her dad clapped a hand on the man in question, grinning with pride as if it were his own son, “And this is his younger brother, Namjoon.”

The latter seemed to be the complete opposite of his brother, looking more frazzled than put together. Seokjin immediately moved over to Y/N’s mom, looking her over with a warm smile. Namjoon hovered awkwardly, hands in his jeans. His button up blue shirt was wrinkled, and it looked as if he had tried to make his hair neat and failed. His glasses were slipping down his nose, and she watched as he continue to reach up and adjust them. 

For whatever reason, she knew she already liked him. 

“Anyone else noticing how they’re all fawning over that guy?” Jimin nodded his head at Seokjin, who had just made all of the adults he was talking to, laugh.

Hoseok shook his head, huffing playfully. “That guy is stealing my brand.”

“Won’t hurt if you’re knocked down a few tiers,” Y/N joked, ignoring his glare. Shaking him gently, she hoped it was enough to comfort him before announcing, “I’m going to introduce myself to his brother.”

She wasn’t surprised when the group dispersed, Taehyung being the only one to follow her. They walked over to the newcomer, and her heart felt for him as he rocked on his heels, looking as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. Noticing their approach, he pulled his hands out of his pockets and fumbled for a moment before deciding to clasp them together. 

“Hi,” She greeted with a smile, “I’m Y/N. I’m happy you decided to join us.”

“I’m still figuring out if it was a good idea, considering no one has even noticed I’m here with the star that he is,” He rolled his eyes as he motioned to Seokjin, but otherwise was unbothered. 

“We noticed,” Taehyung said seriously.

Namjoon paused at that, before sliding his glasses up his nose. “I’m Namjoon. Pretty different from my social butterfly brother.”

“Different isn’t bad,” Y/N shrugged.

“I agree,” Namjoon gave the room a onceover. “Nice place. It’s a lot more warmer here than at home.”

Y/N and Taehyung glanced at each other, not knowing what to say. Namjoon stifled a laugh at their faces. “I meant that we don’t decorate for Christmas or anything like that. Our family doesn’t really celebrate.”

“Really?” Y/N inquired, mildly surprised. She didn’t come across many people who didn’t celebrate, but she knew there was obviously people that didn’t. She respected and understood that, but it made her sad to think of people not experiencing the joy she experienced at this time of year. 

Namjoon nodded. “Which is why I was surprised Jin insisted on us coming over here.”

“That’s interesting.”

“Why is that?”

“Your brother was hesitant to accept his invitation.”

Namjoon waved the statement off. “That’s just him being humble. He loves your parents, always talks about them. In fact, I’m really glad. I know things haven’t been… smooth for him. So, it was good to hear something had him excited. I’m really here for him, if anything.”

Y/N nodded once. “I’m glad then. Glad he has you.”

Before they could continue further, her mother announced that dinner was ready. And so the night officially began. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The Angel

All of the parents were sitting in the dining room, her mom directing the young adults to sit either at the kitchen’s smaller table or in the living room. Y/N and Hoseok didn’t complain, knowing the routine, so they found themselves huddled around the small kitchen table with their friends. Namjoon had been convinced into sitting with Seokjin and the adults. Y/N wished she could save him, seeing how quiet he was with them, but he decided to leave him be after he shot her a reassuring smile. 

She sat across from her brother, Jimin on one side of her and Taehyung on the other. It was a standard rectangular table, but she always appreciated this time of year when her mom pulled out a white knitted tablecloth. Hoseok disappeared for a moment as everyone settled into their seats, returning with a lighter. 

“What’s a dinner without candles lit in the center?”

“Hobi, we only do it on holidays. So technically, dinner would be just fine.”

“Hush. You’re ruining the sentiment.”

“Actually, you are by leaning over Jungkook’s plate.”

“Seriously,” Jungkook agreed, looking at Hoseok with disgust. Y/N laughed, both at his facial expression as well as Hoseok’s struggle to light them. 

“Dude, what the fu-” He stopped dead in his tracks when he glanced at Taeyeon, who insisted to eat with Taehyung. Clearing his throat, he straightened his back and started over, “What’s wrong with this lighter? Is it a trick lighter?”

“No, you’re just weak. Let me see,” Y/N stood.

“It’s not me! The candles don’t want to light-”

“Excuse me. I got it,” Their mom had suddenly appeared as if she had sensed the topic at hand, bearing one of those longer lighters. The clicking of the lighter went on for three times or so before she caught a flame, easily lighting the centerpiece candles. 

Jimin clapped and cheered for her, their mom patting Hoseok sympathetically before asking, “Any of you need anything? Drinks? Anymore food?”

After everyone expressed their thanks, she departed.  Just like that, Christmas dinner began. 

For every family, it was different. Different cultures mean different dinner traditions. Growing up, it had been one of Y/N’s favorite parts: the food. 

As she ate quietly, she looked around the table at the faces of the friends who had joined them this Christmas. At her brother, who was in the middle of telling the other boys some story about Jungkook that the latter was embarrassed over. 

Her heart hurt with happiness. Just a couple days ago, she was crying in her room at the thought of Hoseok not joining him. Now, he was across from her having a laughing fit. She hadn’t seen Taehyung in so long, and now he was next to her smiling and making sure his little sister was having a great time.

It had been even longer since she saw Jimin, and looking at him gave her this wave of nostalgia. He was like flipping through an old journal, the pages filled up with the memories of her youth. He was a piece of her past, one that she didn’t think she would ever forget.

Jungkook was a new piece to the puzzle, but since he had joined them, she saw a whole other side to Hoseok. He brought out this energy in him that she had only ever seen in secret. Jungkook brought out that same look on Hoseok’s face when he was out photographing the world. She knew Jungkook was special.

It was a special dinner, mostly quiet. Stories would break out here and there, but it felt like they had slipped into a snowglobe of bliss. Nothing could shatter the intimacy and disconnect from every other worry in her life. 

Even when she would pause in her eating and text back Yoongi, everything was alright. His sweetness dripped through the words on her screen, making her miss him but comforting her. 

She was drunk on the love in the air, and no matter how the night ended, she knew then this would be a Christmas for the books. Not because something exciting had happened, but because it was a quiet one. That in itself was beautiful.

A little while later, after some of them had settled into eating dessert and Taeyeon had dragged Taehyung away to play a game with the kids, Jungkook directed a question at Y/N. “So, am I going to get to hear the story behind your nickname?”

“Teddy?” She asked.

“Yes, teddy. What other nickname do you have?”

Hoseok grinned mischievously, and Y/N shot him a look of warning that he ignored. “Oh, she has plenty.”

“And so do you! If I were you, I would keep my mouth closed!”

They had a stare off for a few beats, and Y/N thought she was in the clear- that is, until he rushed out, “We used to call her Walrus because when she was younger, she liked sticking things in her mouth and pretending to be one.”

“Hoseok!”

“You guys want to see pictures?” 

Jungkook had started laughing at the thought, and Y/N felt mortified. Just then, she thought of the perfect revenge. As if Hoseok had sensed the gears of her mind turning, his smile faded.

“My parents used to call him Huggies until he was like eight. You want to know why?”

“Y/N, no!”

“What? You told them about Walrus! You know that story embarrasses me!”

“But Teddy is a cute nickname. And so is Walrus. It’s not even bad! Don’t do this!”

Their debate eventually died down when Taehyung came back, effectively distracting  them from the topic at hand. Jimin asked Jungkook about his major, how he liked his university. 

All of the guys seemed to be getting along well, and it was a sight to behold. They were all incredible, so it wasn’t a surprise that they were getting along.

That was, until the mood shifted without her even noticing. 

Jungkook had just finished summarizing why he loved what he was studying, Jimin listening intently as he sipped on a soda. Letting him finish, Jimin nodded along before asking, “Are you from here?”

He shook his head. “I’m not. I moved here for university. I love it here… but I do miss my family all the time.”

Jimin nodded along in agreement. “I definitely understand that feeling.”

“I love my major, I really do. It was everything I imagined it would be and I can’t wait for more. I love my friends, I mean, if I hadn’t gone there I wouldn’t have met Hoseok. I’m so grateful for the opportunity. But some days, I just miss my hometown. I miss my family so bad sometimes, I feel the urge to buy a plane ticket straight home. Of course, I don’t have the funds for that but it’s nice to dream,” Jungkook’s voice was dreamy and longing, and Y/N knew he was thinking of his family celebrating Christmas. Her heart tugged. 

Hoseok sat quietly, listening. She could see in her brother’s face that he was thinking the same thing. They didn’t have the words to comfort Jungkook, but suddenly his face transformed into something more hopeful.

“Even though I can’t be with my family until after Christmas, I’m really glad I got the opportunity to be here. It reminds me of my own home, and I know not everyone is lucky as I am. I just, I keep thinking of my mom. She’s great. I just know that right now, she’s probably fretting over all of our guests at home, asking who wants more food. That’s who she is, always on her feet and taking care of everyone else. I can’t wait to see her.”

“And you will. In two days. Before you know it, you’re going to be back home,” Hoseok assured him. Jungkook nodded, shooting him a look of appreciation. 

The atmosphere, regardless of the subject, had felt hopeful. Y/N saw how Jungkook was determined to keep a good attitude, and she expected that was the end of it. 

Not everyone has as warm a Christmas as you, is what she would come to realize. 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Jimin muttered, offering all of them a weak smile before scooting his chair back and striding to the backyard door, going outside. 

Y/N’s eyes remained there for a moment, his facial expression replaying in her mind. Had Jungkook said something wrong?

Looking over at Hoseok, they had a silent conversation with their eyes. They both knew something was wrong, and they had no intentions of leaving Jimin alone. They came to a silent agreement, the pair of them rising to their feet.

“We’re going to check up on him,” Y/N told the other boys.

“You guys going to be alright?” Hoseok asked Jungkook and Taehyung.

“Of course. We’ll just go talk to Disney Prince. See if he’s as great as everyone says he is,” Taehyung suggested. Jungkook pointed at him, as if he came up with a brilliant idea. Y/N could only shake her head before she led the way, making sure to quietly open up the back door. 

Hoseok flicked on the back porch light, successfully shrouding Jimin’s back in light. He was sitting at the bottom of the porch steps, his head bowed. 

The siblings paused at the top, and Y/N wondered if it was right to disturb him. Something was telling her to not leave him out here to drown in his thoughts. It was obvious he was upset and who knows if he intended to talk to anyone about it. It was up to them to at least try.

“Hey…” Hoseok began, taking the lead as he walked down a few steps. He remained behind him, waiting for any reaction. Jimin stayed quiet. 

Y/N decided to try, maneuvering around her brother and stopping two steps above Jimin’s. Kneeling down, she paused before gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “Jimin.”

His shoulders started shaking, and her heart dropped as she heard the beginning sounds of suppressed crying. 

He wasn’t okay, and maybe hadn’t been this entire time. 

Looking up at her brother, they shared a look of concern before she sat beside him, keeping a hand on his shoulder. Hoseok joined them, taking a seat on the other side of him. They didn’t look at him, respecting his need to cry. 

They didn’t know what was wrong, and maybe Jimin wouldn’t tell them anything at all, but that wouldn’t stop them for being there for him. So they let him cry. Here and there, Y/N would rub his shoulder affectionately, hoping he didn’t feel alone. It may have been a year since she saw him, but it wouldn’t stop her from being there for him. 

When the crying ceased and the sniffles were few and far between, he raised his head. She still didn’t look at him, and she had a feeling Hoseok didn’t either. They simply waited. 

They listened as he cleared his throat, tipping his head back to look at the stars. 

The beautiful thing about stars is that even when your world is turned upside down, they remain permanent, a constant in the chaos.

“I’m not happy.” From the corner of her eye, she saw the air leave his chest, his shoulders relax. He continued. “I haven’t been since I started college. Everyone says that it’s the homesickness, that eventually you’ll get into the groove of things. When months passed, and nothing has changed, it only got worse. I’m stuck. And I don’t know what to do.” 

He took a moment to collect himself. His voice became stronger as he continued, as if the more he talked, the more weight dissipated from his shoulders.

“I hate school. I hate my life over there. I’m not myself, and I’m putting up a front every single day just so I can pretend it’s not the life I chose. I hate my major, I don’t know when I started hating it but somewhere along the way I realized it’s not what I want anymore. Y/N,” Her name startled her into looking at him. He was already looking at her, his eyes shining and his cheeks damp. “I lied to you earlier. I acted just like I’ve been acting all these months. I’ve always been taught to put up a brave face, that even if I’m crumbling, to never show anyone I need help. It’s not what I should do, simply because my whole life I’ve had everything figured out. When in reality… I want to be home.”

She and Hoseok watched him now, how he slowly began to talk softer, his eyes finding the ground. Although his voice was soft, his conviction was hard and set into his words. “Being home, I feel like myself. I just want to stay. I don’t belong at that school, studying what I’m studying, being someone I’m not. And maybe I’m not meant to be here for good, either. I just know that I belong here, surrounded by the people that care about me and make me feel like myself. That’s all I want and… being here with you guys so strongly reminds me of all of that. I just don’t know what to do.”

They waited until they knew he was completely done before Hoseok jumped in, ducking his head to watch Jimin’s face. “Why don’t you talk to your parents?”

Jimin immediately shook his head. “I just can’t.”

“Why not?”

He raised his voice before it grew soft again. “Because! Because… they insist on me being strong, to following through with whatever I start. I told them how much I loved my major, they expect so much from me. I can’t crumble for them. I have to be strong for them. I have to be strong for my mom! She needs to see me be strong! She can’t see me fail!”

“Jimin…” His voice was urgent, his words fast, but Y/N sensed there was more to his words. She waited until he was looking at her. “Why do you feel like you need to be strong for them?”

“She’s… She’s sick,” Jimin’s face crumbled at his words, Y/N’s own heart shattering at the sight. She wrapped her arms around him, letting him cry into her shoulder. Hoseok looked at her, at a loss for words. He reached over and gripped Jimin’s forearm, letting him know he was there. 

This time around, the silence was thick with weight. Y/N’s mind was wheeling, searching and searching for anything to say. Her mind came up blank, and she wished with her entire being that there was a way for Jimin to come out of this unscathed. 

“I belong here,” He cried quietly, pulling away from her arms, “And she’ll insist that I stay over there, that I pretend she’s okay.”

“So you tell her that you love her. And that you’re going to stay here and be strong for her.” Hoseok spoke sternly.

“But-”

“Jimin, you’re not happy over there. And I’ve known you and your family for a long time. Your mom wouldn’t want you to be miserable. If your dream is to be home, to be yourself, then you gotta tell her that you want to be here. It’s going to be terrifying, and they might not want you to at first, but they love you. They only want what’s best for you.”

“What if they… what if they refuse?”

Hoseok frowned, then nodded once. “Then that’s when you do what’s best for you. And hope that with time, they accept it.”

“I can’t upset her right now. She needs me to be strong.”

“Jimin,” Y/N took the soft approach, “In order for you to be strong for her, you have to let her know the way to do that is to be home. Once you’re home, you can be happy and then figure out all of the other things that are worrying you, like school and your passion. The only way for you to do that is to tell them how you feel. All you can do is try.”

“They love you. And they’ll see it’s taking a toll on you,” Hoseok added. “And you’ll come home.”

Jimin ducked his head again, sniffling and nodding at their words. 

Silence ensued, different from the first two. It was a non-judgmental silence, one that took in its companions and offered them some time. It was just what Jimin needed. 

“Thank you guys. Really.”

“You don’t have to thank us,” Y/N responded.

Jimin looked over at her, gratitude oozing from his gaze. “I really do.” He ran his hands through his hair, sighing deeply before saying, “You know, being out here reminds me of high school.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Hoseok said.

“Yeah. I remember this one time, when I spent the night. Y/N and I had to be like fourteen. We had convinced you to play hide and seek out here.”

“He was so scared! We were trying so hard not to laugh at our hiding spots, because he hadn’t even been looking for two minutes before he threatened to go back inside,” Y/N laughed through her words.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at them. “Yeah, I remember that. Jimin jumped out of the bushes and scared me so bad, I slipped on the wet grass.”

“That was priceless. Absolute gold,” Jimin exclaimed. “And then you pulled Y/N and me down with you.”

“We laid on the grass so long that night, we got sick and then we got in trouble for it,” Hoseok added, the three of them drawn to look up at the sky in memory.

“But it didn’t matter to us, then,” Y/N said softly, “Because the stars were so beautiful that night.”

“You know, I can almost be certain that they look like they did that night all those years ago,” Hoseok said, moreso directed at Jimin. And she watched as Jimin looked up at the sky, how it looked back at him, and how Hoseok’s words made him smile to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Lights

As the night grew darker and colder, the amount of people in the house started to thin out. Her aunt, uncle, and their children left a little after midnight. The Parks were getting ready to leave, and Y/N could tell Jimin was nervous to face what he had to do. If she got the chance, she would pull him aside to talk to him one last time. 

Taeyeon was dozing off on the couch, so Taehyung was debating whether or not to leave as well. He was looking at her fondly, before he uttered to Y/N, “This might be the best Christmas Eve she’s ever had. I… I’ve tried so hard to give that to her but there was nothing like that joy on her face playing with your little cousins.”

Y/N rested her hand on his upper arm, waiting for him to look at her. “Tae, you’ve always given her the best gift of all. Your love. And because you love her so much, you’ve gone to the lengths of trying your hardest to give her the best Christmas every single year. That’s what matters. Not whether or not she gets to play with kids, or even if it’s not some grand gesture. She’ll see that and appreciate it more than she’ll comprehend when she’s older.”

Taehyung looked at her, fully looked at her with so much emotion in that moment, she felt everything he was feeling. Rubbing his arm, she allowed him to take a breath and regain his composure, before he mouthed, “Thank you.”

She nodded her head, before turning just in time to see the Parks heading for the door. She stepped away, walking over to Jimin and catching him before he walked out the door. “Hey. Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Yeah, sure. My parents are going to get stuck outside talking to yours anyway. They’ve never understood the concept of goodbye,” Jimin joked, but she saw the unease in his eyes, heard it in his voice.

“Hey,” She lowered her voice, “It’s going to be okay. You have all of us, especially Hoseok and me, rooting for you. This is what’s best for you. I know it’s hard and scary, but your parents need to hear how you feel. You should never feel like you have to pretend.”

He nodded along, rubbing his hands together anxiously and looking over his shoulder at his parents. Just then, his jittery nature calmed down and his hands froze in their movements. He was looking at them for a prolonged moment, before he whispered, “I’m going to be okay.”

“You are.”

He looked at her then, before he said, “I better get going. It was… really nice to see you again.”

The way he looked at her transferred her back to high school, when her heart would flutter like his eyes did at her. His voice was as soft as she remembered, and she could almost fool herself into being young again, except this time around she was aware of the growth they’ve both experienced. That, and she wasn’t a young girl with a crush on him anymore. 

Nonetheless, she found herself shuffling under his gaze, just like she used to. Her hands fiddled with the bottom of her sweater, just like they used to. It was like his gaze was all-knowing, and she needed to look away from him for a moment. Old habits die hard. 

She cleared her throat. “It was nice to see you too. I’m really glad you made it.”

“I am too. I missed you and your crazy brother.”

“He is a little crazy, isn’t he?”

“Who’s crazy?” Hoseok thundered in her ear, making her recoil from the sound. Pushing him away, he laughed like he was Santa, before he rushed forward and bear-hugged Jimin. The latter tried to fight the hold, voice raising in alarm when Hoseok started ruffling his hair, before giving up altogether with a wide smile. 

After they settled down, Hoseok whispered something to him, and Jimin gave him a soft look. He nodded at him and expressed his thanks, before Hoseok walked outside to tell the Parks goodbye. 

“Well, Merry Christmas, Jimin,” Y/N said softly. 

He smiled, before he stepped closer and opened his arms to her. Stepping into the embrace, it was high school all over again. It was strange how some things never changed. She could recognize there was a slight shift though. The embrace wasn’t as tight as another from her memory, wasn’t the same scent. The embrace was different from Yoongi’s. This was a friend’s embrace. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Let’s go, Jimin!” His dad’s voice bellowed. Jimin held up a hand for everyone else in the room, everyone saying their goodbyes before he strode out the door. Y/N waved at his parents, hoping with everything in her heart that they were understanding whenever he decided to talk to him. 

“I think that’s our cue as well. Taeyeon can barely keep her eyes open,” Taehyung announced, holding the little girl’s hand in question. Y/N’s heart ached at the sight, her sleepy eyes blinking slower and her grip on her brother’s hand light. 

“Awww. My favorite girl is leaving?” Hoseok asked, kneeling down in front of her. 

“I’m sorry. It’s Tae. I would stay if I could choose,” She told him seriously. Hoseok laughed while Taehyung simply shook his head. 

“Well, Merry Christmas! I’m really happy you guys joined us this year. You’re more than welcome to join us next year.”

Taeyeon’s eyes lit up like christmas lights, tugging on Taehyung’s hand, “Can we come next year? Can we? Can we, please?”

Taehyung pretended to think about it before he grinned down at her, “Of course we can!” His smile softened at her cheers, before he told the siblings, “I’d really like that.”

Y/N and Hoseok switched off saying goodbye to each of them before they walked them over to the door. She advised them to keep their coats on tight, it was really cold out.

“Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Merry Christmas, Tae. I’m really happy you decided to come.”

“So am I,” He told her, before hugging her and whispering, “Thank you for everything.” He pulled away from their embrace and turned to the room who housed the last face left in the room: Jungkook. “Merry Christmas, mon ami!”

Jungkook saluted him. “Merry Christmas!”

As Taehyung stopped to say his goodbyes to their parents who still hadn’t finished talking to the Parks, Hoseok uttered, “Glad they hit it off.”

“We definitely all have to get together again.”

The sound of Seokjin’s laugh grabbed their attention, and they turned to see him leaving the kitchen with Namjoon. It seemed like they were in the middle of gathering their things as Seokjin shrugged on his coat.

“We better head out too. It’s getting too late for me.”

Namjoon added, “He may look young, but he’s a grandpa.” 

His brother slugged him at that, and Y/N was amused as Namjoon pretended it didn’t hurt. She told them, “I’m really glad you guys came. My parents love you.”

“They’re the best. If it weren’t for them, this guy and me would be eating takeout tonight.”

“Seriously. Dinner was so good,” Namjoon uttered longingly. 

They walked over, and Hoseok led them to the door. Just then, their parents finally came inside. Their mom was quick to say, “Oh, you guys are leaving already?”

Seokjin paused, as if finding the words. “We know everyone is leaving and we didn’t want to

overstep.” 

“Don’t ever feel like you’re overstepping. You’re always welcome,” Their mom said. Their dad nodded in agreement.

“Thank you for that. We appreciate that.”

“Yes, thank you. It was nice to be surrounded by warm people on a cold day,” Namjoon added. 

Y/N’s mom softened at that, telling him, “And Namjoon. I’m very glad we got to know you tonight. You are as amazing as your brother says.”

He looked shocked at that, his eyes shooting to Seokjin. His brother pretended not to notice, though he did look a bit smug. Namjoon searched for the words, rubbing at his neck shyly before he mustered up, “Ah, thank you. That means a lot.”

Their dad opened the door, angling it so the two of them could walk out. Seokjin walked out last, only to turn around and tell the family, “Thank you for tonight. It was… everything I needed. I’ll always be grateful for what you guys do for me.”

Her mom said, “It’s nothing, Jin. We will always look out for you and your brother.”

“It’s everything,” He told her as his face remained serious, before he looked past her at the pair of siblings and smiled up at them. “It was nice to finally meet you two. Their praise of you was well-deserved.”

Hoseok held back a smile as he called, “And so was yours.”

Seokjin merely shook his head before saying, “Merry Christmas!” It triggered a chorus of the phrase, until they watched them get safely into their house. 

The day was now at its end, with the same five from the beginning. 

“I can’t believe it’s over. It flew by,” Jungkook muttered a few minutes later, the trio of them squished onto the couch together. 

Y/N’s parents had put on a Christmas movie in the background, and the two of them were cuddling on the recliner. 

“That’s how Christmas is. Slow to come, quick to end,” Y/N told him. 

“That’s what makes it so special,” Hoseok threw out there. Y/N and Jungkook hummed in agreement. The three of them were pretty sleepy, but they didn’t want to disturb the atmosphere. 

It was a calm night to end the special day. 

Jungkook was the first to retire to bed, expressing his thanks and announcing a goodnight. They could tell how tired he was, and they also saw in his face that he wanted to be alone for a while. 

Y/N thought about him, about Taehyung, about Jimin. She thought about Jin and how each of them had been having a rough time. She thought about Hoseok, how up until a couple of days ago he felt alone. 

She came to the realization that Christmas didn’t make everything perfect, didn’t suddenly dismiss all of the problems someone has on any given day. Christmas isn’t miraculous, at least in the sense that it makes everything disappear. What Christmas does is quiets those issues, highlights the love and the warmth that already exists. Christmas reminds you of what you have, and what you can give to other people. 

That’s why Christmas feels rare, because it’s one of those days where you’re showered in what you deserve, and people aren’t used to feeling what they deserve. 

“I have an idea.” Hoseok whispered to his sister. She glanced at him, wondering why he was whispering. She noticed that her parents had dozed off in each other’s arms. 

“Hit me,” Y/N whispered back. 

“It’s a surprise gift for Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP, WALRUS!”

Her eyes flew open as she shot up in bed, her heart racing. Looking around, her eyes fell on her smiley brother standing at the foot of her bed. Giving him an icy stare, she fell back in bed and tried to get comfortable once more. It wasn’t even a moment of bliss before Hoseok grabbed a hold of her comforter and ripped it off of her. 

“Hobi, I promise you that if you don’t stop messing with me, I’m going to tell everyone why we used to call you Huggies.”

“It’s Christmas, Ebenezer! Get up and come downstairs!”

She groaned, hating be woken up early. She couldn’t control the smile that had fallen on her lips at his words, stumbling out of bed. 

Hoseok looked pleased, but it disappeared all too soon when Y/N rushed over to him and blew air in his face. He screamed- a little too high-pitched if someone asked her- as he pushed her away, face contorting in disgust. “That’s so nasty! Go brush your teeth, garbage mouth!”

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately. Now hurry up and meet us downstairs!”

She took a few minutes freshening up before she met them downstairs. She found her dad, Jungkook, and Hoseok watching tv. Hoseok had managed to get Jungkook to wear reindeer antlers, and she silently fawned over how adorable he looked. 

“Here!” Hoseok thrust a Christmas tree headband into her hands, before he quickly placed one of those christmas light necklaces over her head. 

“Isn’t this a bit much?”

“You mean, not enough?” He told her seriously, smoothing down his ugly sweater. She shared a look with Jungkook, happy to know that someone else got to see this crazy side of her brother. 

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” Everyone responded, the boys mostly distracted by the television screen. She walked over and leaned down to give her dad a kiss on the cheek, before she asked where her mom was. 

No one had to answer, because she could hear her mom bustling around in the kitchen. She joined her, helping out in any way that she could. 

This was her favorite way to spend Christmas morning: a calm morning after a busy Christmas Eve. 

It was everything she had wished for: to have Hoseok home, and for everyone to be together again. 

“Call the boys. It’s time for breakfast.”

It was after breakfast that she gave Hoseok the signal. She was in the middle of distracting Jungkook with a story, watching as Hoseok not so smoothly took Jungkook’s phone from beside him. He looked panicked after a few moments, showing her that he had guessed the password wrong. 

She stuttered in her story, watching as Jungkook looked at her with mild worry. She waved it off, smoothly continuing on and noticing that Hoseok figured it out. He was quick, disappearing into another room. 

It was a couple minutes later, and Hoseok still wasn’t back. She was starting to get worried because there was a lull in her conversation with Jungkook, and it was at any moment that he was going to notice his phone was-

“Hm. That’s weird.”

Her heart jumped. “What is?”

“I thought I put my phone right here-”

“Jungkook! Come here for a second!” Hoseok called from the living room. Jungkook’s eyebrow lifted in question, but Y/N merely shrugged. She waited for him to lead the way before following closely behind. They walked into the living room, Hoseok standing in the middle with his hands behind his back. 

“What’s up?” Jungkook asked cautiously.

“Well,” Hoseok took a deep breath, “We’re really happy you got to spend Christmas with us. But, we all know it happened because the unfortunate events of you not being able to catch a flight. However, in this day and age, it’s a little easier to see your loved ones. So,” He pulled the phone out from his back, revealing his family on the screen, “Merry Christmas!”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, watching as his family shouted Merry Christmas, his mom as beautiful as he described. He was frozen for a moment, before his face broke into the happiest smile she ever saw on him, him lurching forward to grab onto the phone. 

“Guys! I miss you so much,” His voice faltered, before the smile returned, “I wanted to video call but I felt like I would disturb you.”

“Disturb us? Of course not! It’s Christmas. We’re just so glad you’re well taken care of,” His mom said on the other line. 

His dad said, “Can’t wait for you to join us tomorrow.”

She looked away to give him some privacy, hearing how tender his voice had become as he whispered, “I can’t wait to be with you guys, too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The following evening, in the middle of watching yet another Christmas movie with the boys, Hoseok began acting strange. He was huddled in the corner on his least favorite chair in the living room, tapping away at his phone. 

After asking him several times what he was doing, Y/N threateningly got up to go to him, and he freaked out. He yelled- again, a little too high-pitched for her ears- before he raced off to his room. 

“What’s up with him?” Y/N asked. “I was only messing with him.”

“I stopped asking myself that a long time ago,” Jungkook responded, unbothered by Hoseok’s antics. 

She decided to ignore it, sitting back down and continuing to watch the movie. About fifteen minutes later, Hoseok re-entered the living room. She didn’t look at him at first, assuming he was going to stop acting weird and finish the movie with him. After he stood in the entryway for too long to be normal, she looked up at him and instantly grew confused. 

He was dressed to go out, his warm clothes a telltale sign that he intended to leave. His next words confirmed that. “I have to head out really quick. I’ll be back soon.”

“Where are you going?” Y/N asked, suspicious. On top of his weird behavior, he was suddenly leaving?

“Yeah. You didn’t mention having to do anything,” Jungkook added.

“Well- Well, I need to go get something from the store,” Hoseok rushed out as he rushed to the front door. This time, she wouldn’t let it slide as she raced to grab him before he made it out the door. 

“Why are you acting so funny? What are you doing?”

“Nothing, Y/N! I have to take care of some business! Just let me be!”

“Why can’t we go with you?” Jungkook asked casually, unmoving from the couch as he stuffed some popcorn into his mouth. Noticing Hoseok’s pointed stare, he said, “What? Just a question.”

“Because.”

“Because why?” She narrowed her eyes, noticing he wouldn’t look at her. He was too nervous, too suspicious. He had always been bad at hiding things. 

“Because I said so! Now leave me alone, you gremlins! I’ll be back!”

Just like that, he disappeared. She was entirely confused, wondering why he had to rush out like that and what he could possibly be hiding that he had to keep from her and Jungkook.

“Maybe he’s getting us a present?” She offered up to Jungkook. 

He looked over at her and shrugged. “Who knows with him. Maybe he just wanted a dessert and didn’t want to have to pay for us.”

“He’s not like that!”

“He’s like that with me,” He scoffed playfully, before the conversation ended. 

She looked down at her phone. 8:03 PM. There was nothing she could do now, so she tried to focus on the movie. 

Around an hour and a half later, she got a text from her brother. Only, it wasn’t a text but he had shared a location with her. Clicking on it, she felt worry build realizing it wasn’t a place, but a road.

Was he in trouble?

“Jungkook.” He looked over at her. “Hoseok’s worrying me. He just sent me a random location. It just looks like a road.”

“You know what this means, right?”

“What?” She asked him. Jungkook sat up quickly.

“He’s sending us on a scavenger hunt!”

“Or to our death.”

“Highly doubt he could. Come on! Let’s go!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Now come on! Get your coat on!” She had never seen him so pumped up, and now she was really worried. As she got her coat on, she tried to call her brother but to no avail. What was going on?

It didn’t take long to reach the spot, though the drive was completely nerve-wracking. Had he been in an accident? Why hadn’t he answered when she called and why had he still not called her back? 

And Jungkook was acting weird now, too, drumming his fingers on his thigh. When she tried to strike up a conversation, he gave her short and distracted answers. 

It was a twenty minute drive to the road that Hoseok had sent to her. She recognized one of the cars- her parents’ car, parked on the side of the road. Right behind it was a car she didn’t recognize. 

What was going on?

Just as she asked herself that question, she pulled in front of her parents’ car and parked the car, looking into the rearview mirror. Seeing two figures sitting in the car, she watched them for a moment. 

“Who is that?” She asked herself. 

Like magic, her question was answered as both car doors opened. She peeked out the side mirror on the left, seeing her brother shaking his body up and down, likely from the cold. She narrowed her eyes at the right mirror, studying the figure who stood at the front hood of her parents’ car. 

Her eyes looked over his dark curtain of hair, his head tilted to her brother. His hands were buried in his long dark coat, his entire ensemble as dark as Jungkook’s was when she first met him. 

She took in his lanky figure, his familiar stance and his distant but familiar features, and her heart jumped. 

Unclipping her seatbelt, she quickly fumbled for the car door and rushed out into the cold, the air slapping her and trying to discourage her. Nothing could stop her, though, as she raced through the cold, past her brother and right toward her warmth. 

Yoongi barely had time to register she was racing right toward him before he opened his arms and she fell into them. 

It was falling into a warm bath, washing over her body and soul. He was her haven, protecting her from the cold and from all of the hardships she had recently overcame. 

He was here, right in front of her. 

And she couldn’t gather the words to express how happy she was to be with him.

“You’re here,” she whispered into his chest, inhaling his cologne. He chuckled a little, adjusting his grip on her. 

Kissing the side of her head, he said, “I am.”

“How? I thought you were just going to stay with your family today.”

He pulled away, looking at her with smiley eyes. A side of his mouth tugged upward as he declared, “I did stay with my family today. It’s night time now.”

“Yoongi…” Her eyes looked anywhere but him. Shuffling in place, he tightened his grip on her to keep her from being embarrassed, “You didn’t have to. I’m sorry if you felt like you had to leave your family-”

“I’m going to stop you right there. I didn’t have to do anything, that’s true. But I missed you and wanted to see you. That’s why I wanted to surprise you. Except, things didn’t go so well,”He hissed at the last words, his eyes going to the car she didn’t recognize. “I should’ve listened to my mom when she said the car’s been having problems.”

“Ah, so that car is your mom’s.”

“Yeah. She gave me the idea to surprise you.”

“Really?” Her entire body stiffened with nerves. “You told her about us?” 

He gave her a look of disbelief. “I told her the day I met you that you were going to be my future girlfriend.”

“Seriously?” She choked on a laugh, not aware that he had told his family before she even got around to telling her family they were together. Of course, they knew of Yoongi, but she assumed they thought they were friends. She was just so nervous to tell them, especially given that he was Hoseok’s friend. 

He cracked a smile, gently playing with her hair and looking her over. “Yes, seriously. She was nervous about letting me use the car, and now I know why. But using it led me to this moment. So I don’t regret it.”

“You’re amazing,” She said, breathlessly. They stared at each other for a moment, losing themselves in each other’s eyes. He tilted his head a bit, his telltale that he was going to kiss her, until Hoseok cut in.

“Not to ruin the lovely moment, but it is freezing out here and I really don’t want to see my sister kiss anyone. Mind if we get in the car?”

“Sure, Hoseok. Thank you,” Yoongi’s voice was dripped in sarcasm. 

They all gathered in their parents’ car, Hoseok turning on the heater. 

“So,” Y/N pointed at her brother, “He knew about it.”

Yoongi looked unamused. “Yes. And did a real crappy job at not being suspicious.”

Hoseok whirled around from the driver’s seat. “Hey! It’s not my fault she knows me so well! She can tell the moment I start acting different!”

Yoongi shot back, “Then don’t act different.”

Y/N said, “Doesn’t help that he screamed like a baby when I acted like I was going to take his phone.”

“All that matters is she didn’t figure out you were coming,” Hoseok threw his hands up. They all laughed at how offended he was acting. 

“I knew too. Well, after I asked if we could come he texted me and went off on me,” Jungkook told her.

“See? Now, Jungkook knows how to act less suspicious,” Y/N pointed out.

Hoseok shook his head. “You guys suck.”

Yoongi and Y/N shared a smile, him reaching out to intertwine their fingers. It was a moment she engraved in her mind, sitting in that back seat waiting for a tow truck. 

She vaguely listened as Hoseok described his grand idea of calling her out to his location, calling it more “romantic” if she came to see him where he broke down instead of him bringing Yoongi back to the house. 

She hummed along, mostly distracted by Yoongi’s presence. He was breath-taking, absolutely stunning. He was wearing a maroon turtleneck, probably for the occasion. His hair was swept barely above his eyes, which were in the middle of looking her over as well. 

Suddenly, she grew embarrassed considering she was still in her pajamas and the apparel that Hoseok had forced them to wear this morning. At least Jungkook had taken off his antlers. 

Yoongi leaned over, uttering into her ear, “You look so cute.”

She smiled down at their intertwined hands, rubbing her thumb over his. “So do you.”

They tilted their heads together, her heart racing. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Yoongi.”

There it was. Somehow, in some way, it always worked out. Even if it was the slightest shift. 

Christmas had already been perfect. But her gift was right here beside her, her Christmas in a person was with her. 

She couldn’t ask for anything better. 

“Now,” Hoseok clapped his hands at the tow truck pulled up behind their line of cars, grinning back at Yoongi, “You ready to meet my parents?”

Yoongi nodded confidently. “Of course.”

The mischief danced in Hoseok’s eyes. “You ready to meet them as Y/N’s boyfriend?”

She watched the fear enter Yoongi’s eyes, reaching forward to shove Hoseok. She ignored his scream, lying her head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“They’re going to love you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

About a week later, the photos that her mom had taken on Christmas were finally developed. She was a sentimental woman, one who liked to buy those old-fashioned ones you had to get developed at a CVS Pharmacy. 

She laid them all out on the table, looking them over one by one. 

There was a photo of Taehyung and Taeyeon, posed near the Christmas Tree. She was on his back, both of them in the midst of laughing. 

A picture of Hoseok and Y/N, backs against each other and finger guns poised. They were standing near the family Stockings, the ones that Hoseok insisted on every year. 

Jungkook in a candid photo of him checking out the Nutcracker she put out on the mantle every single year, studying it. 

A photo of Seokjin with his arm around Namjoon’s shoulders, both of them unsmiling but comfortable. They were posed as if they were two Carolers, awaiting someone to open the door.

A picture of Jimin helping adjust the Angel at the top of the tree, his parents in the background smiling proudly at him.

Other pictures of everyone scattered about. 

The last photo of the disposable camera was at the bottom of the pile, a picture of Yoongi, Y/N, and Hoseok, outside and surrounded by the porch’s Christmas Lights. 

It was a beautiful Christmas. Not perfect to most, but perfect to them.

[timeagainreviews]

The Fabric of Time and Space

Hello friends! It's been quite a busy time for me. Not only did we have a houseguest for about a week, we got a dog! She's an adopted Irish greyhound named Aoife, and she's a good old girl. Needless to say, lots of things happening. I wanted to write sooner so that I could talk about the death of Terrance Dicks, but finding the time was difficult. While Dicks was a bit of an old school writer when it came to women, I absolutely love "The Horror of Fang Rock." However, one of the things for which Dicks was most beloved was his Doctor Who prose. Whether it be the Target novels, or even the BBC range, chances are that if you've read much Doctor Who prose, you've read some Terrance Dicks. Which is why I plan to do something I've never done on here, and that's to review a Doctor Who novel, specifically- The Eight Doctors. Mind you, I'm going to re-read it, just after I finish these Dark Crystal books.

Speaking of Dark Crystal, how many of you have been watching the new prequel? I've been a bit obsessed, myself. It's captured my imagination in a way I haven't felt in years. For those of you not in the know, I was born in the far off year of 1983, just one year after "The Dark Crystal," entered theatres. However, it wasn't until around 1994 that I even became aware it existed. I remember this because the night I bought two Flintstones movie books, there was a display for "The Dark Crystal," in enticingly green Disney style VHS cases. All of these things released around 1994. I was perplexed by this Jim Henson movie that somehow went completely under my radar. I took my books home that night. The Dark Crystal would have to wait a bit longer.

One of the things I loved most about my copy of "The Flintstones: The Official Movie Book," was the pictures of the Jim Henson Creature Workshop fabricating the dinosaur puppets. Something about their ability to create something realistic while still looking like a cartoon resonated with me. I wanted so much to do that job. Since then I've always had a passion for filmmaking and movie magic. Watching "The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance," has rekindled that childhood love I have for the Creature Workshop and character design. As per usual, this got me thinking about Doctor Who. Specifically, its costume design. So I thought I might keep it simple and talk about the costumes of each Doctor. Where better to start than at William Hartnell?

First Doctor

Style: "Edwardian Grandad"

To me, the First Doctor will always look the most like the Doctor the first time we see him in "An Unearthly Child." Topped with an Astrakhan hat and shrouded in a black cape, he cuts a mysterious figure framed by the door of the TARDIS. His costume was a team effort between Maureen Heneghan and William Hartnell who was adamant as to what he would and would not wear. The decision was to make him slightly Edwardian, as the time period would look somewhat out of place, yet not too far removed from the 1960's.

There's something delightfully camp and yet simple to the way he dresses. Nothing about his wardrobe seems out of place. Even his slightly manky fingerless gloves make sense for an old traveller twisting knobs and flicking switches on his fantastical machine. Sometimes leaning on a cane, and other times standing tall holding onto his lapels with his dark ring glinting against the light. He's an enigma and just a touch out of time.

Second Doctor

Style: "Cosmic Hobo"

When the 60's counterculture movement had started to shake up the status quo, we saw learned men like Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert abandon their stuffy collegiate positions for newfound roles as acid gurus. Much like these wild professors, we see the same thing in the Second Doctor's attire. It's as if the First Doctor partied so hard that he regenerated, and his disheveled clothes were whatever he was wearing when he woke up the next morning.

At the time, we had men like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi popularising words like "cosmic," and I believe it caught on in the Doctor Who production offices. Costumers Daphne Dare and Alexandra Tynman really brought a sort of anarchic spirit to the Doctor's attire that I believe has really carried on throughout the series. While I'm glad the stove pipe hat was annexed early on, I loved the additions of things like his giant fur coat held closed with twine. There's something so very Doctory about a man who looks like he sleeps in boxcars that can also attune his mind to build a perfect white cube. He really is far out, man.

Third Doctor

Style: "Space Dandy"

I've heard it said that there are two men that can pull off ruffles- Jimi Hendrix, and Jon Pertwee. And my god, does he ever? Primarily designed by Christine Rawlins, he was influenced by Adam Adamant's wardrobe. However, the biggest inspiration behind his crushed velvet and scarlet lined capes was colour television! Colour! Colour! Colour!

There's a lot of timeliness tied up in his garb. The increasing abundance of colour TV mixed with a post-60's desire to cut loose. This new night-time apparel was a way for gents to relax after a long day in their office suits. Leave it to the alien time traveller to completely ignore this fact and wear said nightwear in the middle of the day. Not only does the Third Doctor introduce a trend of the Doctor stealing his clothes from hospitals, he also marks the first major shift in apparel. The First and Second Doctors may have worn different ties, or trousers, but their overall look remained consistent. The Third Doctor's look adhered more to a wardrobe, or a style of dress. And boy does he have style!

Fourth Doctor

Style: "The Bohemian"

Once again, we see a continuation here of the style of the previous two Doctors. There's a bookishness, mixed with counterculture. Costume designer James Acheson, based a lot of the Fourth Doctor's look on Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec’s painting of his friend Aristide Bruant. Bruant was a man known for his wide brimmed hat and long scarf. As legend has it, Acheson commissioned a woman named Begonia Pope to knit the famous scarf. Only instead of stopping at a sensible length, this witty little knitter used every last spool of yarn she was provided.

As much as I love Tom Baker's costume in it's versatility and appropriate alienness, I am less a fan of the series 18 redesign by June Hudson, which was notoriously meddled with by John Nathan-Turner. While I rather like the new scarf, the all burgundy ensemble with question mark lapels seems to me like the first time the costume felt like a costume. That being said, there is something timeless about Tom Baker's look that even carries on into its various redesigns such as in "The Talons of Weng-Chiang," or "The Horror of Fang Rock." So much so, that even today if I go out in my Thirteenth Doctor cosplay, you always get some joker saying "Hey, where's your scarf?"

Fifth Doctor

Style: "Beige Cricketer Dad"

Before I had ever watched the Fifth Doctor's episodes, I used to look at his costume and contemplate what kind of guy would dress like that. The cricketer uniform with that red piped coat, and those garish pinstripe pyjamas over white trainers is a definite statement, but what is up with that celery? You can imagine my further confusion when I discovered Davison's portrayal was slightly more subdued and less eccentric. It made him almost the weirdest Doctor in that such a normal seeming guy would dress like his five year old picked out his clothes.

Hell, even the celery is there for a pretty mundane reason. It changes purple in the presence of certain poisonous gases. Very practical. They didn't even illustrate this purpose, we were told about it in his last episode! And you know how I feel about "show, don't tell." Regardless, I can't help but kind of love this outfit, question marks and all. I don't know if it's because I'm a fan and we grow to love this show, warts and all, but there's a reason it's on my list of costumes to cosplay. It's unmistakably the Fifth Doctor, even if it doesn't really make much sense.

Sixth Doctor

Style: "Hot Alien Mess"

Out of all of the Doctor Who costumes, I don't think a single one has been more notorious than this one. Unlike the Fifth Doctor's costume which piqued my curiosity, my initial thoughts upon seeing the Sixth Doctor's costume was "Well that was a mistake." And I wasn't wrong, it definitely was too much. Though in many ways, it also marries so well with the rest of his tenure. John Nathan-Turner's goal was to have a completely tasteless costume to match his tasteless vision for the show. He gave poor Pat Godfrey the thankless task of bringing this monstrosity to the screen.

Though, like I said, you do get used to it, as it does fit Colin Baker's irascible narcissist. I totally believe that an alien might find something like that fashionable. Even his little cat badges on his lapels inspire something I think is essential to his character. He's a big loud tomcat yowling until people stop what they're doing and recognise his brilliance. This is another one of those "I can't help but want to cosplay it," outfits. I especially like his tropical look in "The Two Doctors." It would have been nice to see more this variation in his run, such as the original black design or even the blue one we got in other media. Sigh.

Seventh Doctor

Style: "Tweedy Eccentric"

Remember how I mentioned in previous articles that the Seventh Doctor era was a series of course corrections? This is a definite one of those. We're back to something a lot more subtle, like the First or Fourth Doctor's eccentric professor vibes. But my god, those question marks just won't die! You ever have one of those friends who just can't help themselves? You can give them good advice, but at the end of the day, they're still going to do things their way? That's JNT with these goddamn question marks.

I really love the Seventh Doctor's era as I feel like the show was on the up and up. The writing was getting back on track, and Ace and Seven's chemistry was brilliant. So when you look at the Doctor's jumper, it's a kind of visible evidence of JNT being dragged kicking and screaming into this new era. Yet, funnily, when we see the Eighth Doctor movie, the Seventh Doctor's new waistcoat seems somehow less exciting. There's a certain playfulness sacrificed for realism. Perhaps JNT was onto something with his campy vision.

Eighth Doctor

Style: "Anne Rice Vampire Boyfriend"

It's going to be hard for me to view this costume without rose-tinted glasses. The Eighth Doctor is my first Doctor, so his costume will always have a place in my heart as one of the greats. But which costume? Well, of course I mean the first one from the TV movie, but my god has the man had some costume changes! Be it book, comic, or audio, the man has changed his clothes. My favourite being the unjustly maligned "Dark Eyes," variant, as I had always wondered why the Doctor never wore jeans.

Marking the second time the Doctor stole his wardrobe from a hospital, his original costume, designed by Jori Woodman, seems geared toward evoking a more classic look. A little Hartnell, a little Pertwee. For the most part it works, but I could see the argument some have made that it is a bit "costumey." In its defence, it is a costume. By the time we see McGann again in "The Night of the Doctor," we get a more subdued version of the movie look, befitting the modern series. Gotta love a man who can pull off a neckerchief.

War Doctor

Style: "Metrosexual Post-Apocalyptic"

Sadly, there's not a lot of information on the War Doctor's ensemble. But I believe you can learn a lot simply by looking at it. It's design by Howard Burden (who also did the Eighth Doctor redesign), is meant to be a sort of dark in-between of the Eighth and Ninth Doctors. Which makes a lot of sense, really. His costume looks like the clothing of a man at war. Utilitarian in it's form an function, it looks designed for durability and versatility.

I've often felt the War Doctor would not look out of place in the Fallout universe. He still wears the bandolier of a woman he couldn't save in a previous life. So much of his costume is meant to tell a visual story of a Mad Max-style road warrior. Funny then that the man still has the time to form the perfect faux-hawk coiffure and manscaped goatee with just the right amount of neckbeard. It's more of that visual storytelling I love so much- the Doctor may be a man lost at war, but he's still a bit of a narcissist. Brilliant.

Ninth Doctor

Style: "Navvy Bloke"

Christopher Eccleston has been in the news a lot these last few days due to the release of his new book "I Love the Bones of You." We've learned so much about his time as the Doctor that talking about the look of his character has become a bit of a tough subject. A lot of the man's look is now intrinsically tied in his body dysmorphia, which was at its worst when in the role as the Doctor.

I say it's "tough," in that I do want to talk about how he looked like no other Doctor Who came before him. His northern bloke look and sound almost dared the audience to reevaluate the Doctor they thought they knew. His costume is almost a non-costume. Black leather on black trousers with an assortment of dark coloured v-neck jumpers were a far cry from the question marks and long scarves of the Doctors before. Yet despite all of these differences, he quickly dispelled any doubts many longtime viewers had. He was the perfect Doctor to breathe new life into the show. These last few days have shown us just how lucky we are to still have such a man with us.

Tenth Doctor

Style: "Hipster Geek"

People often times call Matt Smith's Doctor a hipster. But who's the one wearing horn rimmed glasses and Chuck Taylors with a form fitting suit? You want to talk about first impressions from a photograph, my first thought was "hipster geek." And I love him for it. David Tennant's Doctor is such a charismatic goofball, that it's hard not to love him. And I honestly can't think of a better costume for him. I will say however that I think this one falls under that "costumey," look I've mentioned before. There's something very Scooby-Doo about a guy who owns two of the same suit in reverse colour.

I also love the simple fact that he's wearing actual Chuck Taylors. I'm surprised more Doctors haven't. Even with the logos on the sides whited out, you can spot the real McCoy (or Tennant) a mile away. Top all of this off with that marvellous coat of his, and you've got a real super hero look. Just picture it- his coat blowing in the breeze as it clings to his matchstick frame, his hair and eyes trembling with Time Lord fury. He's iconic as hell and it's no wonder he's caught the hearts and minds of so many fans.

Eleventh Doctor

Style: "Young Old Man"

I absolutely love Matt Smith's Doctor, especially his early look with the tweed and floppy hair. Ray Holm really came out swinging with this costume as it bred countless one-liners about his bow-ties and love for a good fez. If you've ever seen pictures of other Eleventh Doctor costume concepts, you'd realise what a stroke of genius that bowtie really was. He just doesn't look like the Doctor without it. I believe it was Smith himself who suggested the bowtie.

I would not say I am as onboard with the later purple suit the Doctor wore with Clara. It just lacked the subtlety of the tweed. And that top hat looked especially out of place, which is funny when you consider how good the black top hat looked on him in "Let's Kill Hitler." While I would not say the purple ensemble was a total failure, it's got nothing on his original look. Which, if you'll recall, was also stolen from a hospital.

Twelfth Doctor

Style: "Punk Magician"

Peter Capaldi is the first Doctor I ever had to wait to see the costume reveal. I had gotten into Doctor Who around the tail end of Matt Smith's first series. I remember my first reaction to Howard Burden's costume being something like "Huh." I didn't really love it. Perhaps it was the mixture of it being new, and not having already been established as the Doctor's clothes, but I was slow to come around to it. Capaldi's inspiration behind the costume was David Bowie's "Thin White Duke," persona, which is a telling bit of inspiration considering what a dark point it was in Bowie's life.

For me, the Twelfth Doctor's look truly comes together over time. I think it's somehow tied to his hair. The wilder it got, the more I liked his look. I absolutely love the hoodies and the First Doctor inspired trousers. There's something so perfect about a black jumper bespeckled with holes allowing the white shirt beneath to shine through like stars. The cosmic hobo is back in a punk rock fashion. There's something very lived in about the Twelfth Doctor's style that really resonates with me. He may be the eldest Doctor of the modern series (unless you count John Hurt), but there is something undeniably youthful about him

Thirteenth Doctor

Style: "Godspell Casual"

Jodie's costume was another one of those "Huh," moments for me. It was such a departure from anything before it, bar maybe the Ninth Doctor's jumpers. However, it only took me a few days to get used to, as compared to multiple episodes with Capaldi. A female Doctor was something I had pondered over for such a long time, that I had some expectations as to what she should and shouldn't be wearing. I definitely wanted her in sensible footwear and no floofy skirts. I wanted her like an adventurer. Think Rachel Weisz in "The Mummy." So when she showed up with a pair of high water trousers and comfortable boots, I was pretty happy. It was her t-shirt I was most taken aback by. It seemed a little more casual than I expected, but when you consider she's been a bloke her entire life, having no nonsense clothes is very much the Doctor.

It's not hard to imagine why this was the second Doctor I've cosplayed (the other being Four). There's lots of symbolism tied into the coat that Ray Holm and Whittaker devised together, and I love that they put that much thought into it. At this point it's still early days in her character. Aside from a blink and you miss it scarf or a red shirt, we've not seen a whole lot of wardrobe variation. Rumour has it she'll be donning a pair of black trousers is series 12, which I'm all for. I'd also love to see her wear some grey checked trousers like Hartnell and Troughton. Or even a black and white version of her current look. There's so much versatility possible in her costume. I hope they explore a bit of it.

And that's it for now, friends. I hope you enjoyed this article. I tried to put a little bit of research into it. While I was writing it, this blog turned one year old! I can't believe I've been doing this for a whole year! It's such a wonderful sight to see when you all like the posts and share them. Knowing I've resonated with someone like yourselves feels a little less lonely. Expect to see a Sixth Doctor review corresponding with his blu-ray (I missed the Third Doctor Blu-ray/Pertwee 100th birthday). I'm also planning on covering "The Edge of Time," VR game if they ever decide to release it! Oh and I might start covering the Dark Crystal as well, because I really love that show. I hope you are having a great weekend!

[sunaddicted]

Apnoea (Nygmobblepot, angst)

The root of the problem was that the child was just a newborn, squirming and softly crying in its bundle of soft blankets - pink, presumably standing for its gender but Oswald didn't want to assume.

Afterall, he had presumed that Edward - his husband - had loved and cherished him but there it was the glaring proof that the other man couldn't even be bothered to be faithful to him and, adding insult to injury, he was even being asked to take the baby in and raise it with the same love he had freely poured on Martin.

His husband clearly had conveniently dismissed the little detail that their boy had been adopted, whereas the baby he had brought in their home was the product of an affair - the living and breathing embodiment of a moment when the other man hadn't loved him as strongly as his wedding vows had promised to.

If it had been the matter of only a moment.

Oswald wouldn't have been surprised to discover that Edward had been cheating on him for a long time: he'd never been his husband's first choice, afterall. He couldn't help wondering if Edward would have even bothered coming back home, hadn't his mistress died of childbirth - probably not: the coward would have just sent him the divorce papers without an explanation and a lawyer to discuss visitation rights with Martin.

It wasn't the baby's fault, though, was it?

Oswald gulped down against the thick lump in his throat and he reached out to take the baby from Edward's arms; the infant quieted, clearly soothed by a more confident and less awkward hold "Did the mother choose a name?"

"Enigma"

A fangirl, then.

Edward had cheated on him for the thrill of bedding one of the Riddler's fangirls, so that he could soak in the fanatic adoration that fed his ego and made him feel like a god for a few hours, but that wasn't the fault of the mother either and Oswald wasn't so petty that he wouldn't respect the last wish of a dead woman - especially since he didn't have any claim on her daughter "She needs a more common first name for school and official papers but we can use Enigma as her second one"

"Does that mean we're keeping her?"

Oswald looked down at that small face, still a little scrunched up and squished by birth, and saw the unmistakable profile of his husband's nose amidst a mass of foreign features. Tears welled behind his eyes, making them sting and burn, and he had to furiously bat his lids to keep them from spilling: he wouldn't let Edward see his pain any more, he'd lost that privilege "Yes, we are"

"Oswald, thank you so mu-" Edward frowned when Oswald took a step back, away from his arms - a step that felt like a black hole had opened up between them "Oswald?"

"I want you to move your things out of our bedroom"

In hindsight, he really should have expected Oswald to say those words; he just had been too focused on his daughter - too concerned about the other man kicking the both of them out and leaving him alone to face the impossible task of raising a child on his own. Edward let his arms fall to his sides, shoulders slumping after them as if they had been as heavy as lead "Are we going to divorce?"

Oswald shook his head "I don't want to upset Martin and being married gives us plenty of legal advantages" first and foremost, the inability of being forced to testify against one another in court "But I can't have you in my bed any longer"

"I made a mistake"

"It's not one I can forgive you"

Edward didn't think that Oswald had ever uttered harder words to hear; his husband had forgiven him many things - from something as silly as making origami out of his ledgers when he was bored to the time he had let Martin play in his lab without supervision and their son had ended up with a small chemical burn on the back of his hand - but he had never heard such a sense of resigned finality in the quality of his voice "I'm sorry" it was useless, it wouldn't solve anything, but he had to try.

"You weren't sorry while you cheated on me, Edward"

"I still love you"

Oswald closed his eyes and forced his body to stay relaxed to avoid hurting the little girl in his arms "What was the reason why you did it, then - you couldn't resist the body of a woman? her mindless adoration? the thrill of getting away with it?"

"Oswald..."

"No, I don't actually want to hear it" he could already feel creeping up on him the sense of inadequacy that had haunted him for most of his life, his skin itched with how wrong his body felt around him - as if it was going to come apart at the seams: ugly, fat, undesirable "Let's bring her to meet her big brother"

"What are you going to tell Martin?" If the boy knew he had cheated on Oswald... Edward didn't want to think about how their son would react to that, not when his family was already falling apart around him and crumbled to the ground like a rickety castle of cards.

"That you found her"

"Thank you"

Oswald looked at Edward, wondering about how it was possible that he had let the other man break his heart again "I'm not doing it for you" never again - Oswald would never again do something for the other man.

"I know" Edward's throat tightened, a phantom hand slowly closed around his windpipe and inexorably crushed his voice box, leaving him speechless as he followed Oswald deeper into the house in search of Martin; the corridors dripping with generations of Van Dahls seemed to be closing in on him, their eyes full of judgement and reproach - it made his lungs ache with how difficult breathing was in that moment.

Why do you have a baby?

"Your dad found her"

All alone?

Oswald nodded "Yes, she has been abandoned" he sat down on the couch next to Martin, so that the boy could look down at her.

What's her name?

"We haven't decided yet" Edward forced himself out of his panic to focus on the conversation; he sat down next to Martin's other side, trying to act normal - trying to be as strong as the other man was "Do you have any ideas?"

She was lucky dad found her.

"She really was"

So, she needs a lucky name.

"What about Teodóra?"

Absentmindedly, Oswald repeated the name with the correct Hungarian pronunciation; something ugly curled in his belly, roiling thick like food that hadn't sat well and he swallowed down the nausea that threatened to rise up his gorge "God's gift"

I like it.

"Me too" Edward shot a glance at the other man, subtly twisting his fingers in his sweater when he found that he was unable to read his husband's face: it was pleasantly blank, empty like one of those stoic saints churches were brimming with "What about you, Oswald?"

"Teodóra Enigma" Oswald tried the name on his tongue, rolled it around his mouth to savour it; predictably, the baby didn't move around or gave him any sign that she liked it - that kind of stuff only happened in romance novels or sentimental movies "I think it's going to be perfect"

Welcome to the family, little sister!

[laberintos-espinas]

Superstitions On The Roulette Table - The Meanings of Numbers

Number Meanings From 0 To 36

0 - The number 0 is one of the most noteworthy numbers, yet with regards to roulette the number gives the house the edge so it is anything but a fortunate number for us, it's a fortunate number for club proprietors nằm mơ thấy lửa đánh con gì - They state that one is the loneliest number, and that sounds accurate even on a roulette table as the number 1 is a piece of the french vagrants wager. This number can speak to quality. It can likewise speak to fresh starts, which are very greeting after a dash of misfortune.

2 - The number 2 is about equalization. As per the Pythagoreans, the number 2 is the most unfortunate number, in truth they announced the second day of every month to speak to the divine force of the black market, Hades. In the Far East, be that as it may, they believe the number 2 to be extremely fortunate.

So - how's that for balance?

3 - They state that the third time's the appeal, which isn't in every case fundamentally obvious while you're at the roulette table yet we'll take any assist we with canning get, correct?

4 - Remember the Pythagoreans who believed that the number 2 was malicious and unfortunate? They likewise accepted the number 4 to be an ideal number. It speaks to numerous things, for example, the four seasons, the four headings on a compass, the four breezes and the four components (Earth, Wind, Fire and Air.) The Irish have faith in the karma of a 4 leaf clover. Have you at any point discovered a lucky charm on your way to a roulette table? Me not one or the other.

5 - According to supernatural numerology, the number 5 conveys with it an atmosphere of vulnerability. It's exceptionally uncommon to discover any convictions throughout everyday life, particularly in a club, so maybe this trademark is valid for all numbers on the roulette table.

6 - Some accept that six is an image of karma, however what happens when you have the number 6 three times in succession? We'll speak increasingly about the noteworthiness of this toward the finish of the article.

7 - There are seven hues in the rainbow, yet only three on a roulette table. Red, dark and green. Seven is frequently refereed to similar to the most fortunate number.

8 - In Asia, 8 is a fortunate number for a few reasons. Above all else, the number 8 resembles the interminability image which is of incredible criticalness to Asian societies, and furthermore the manner in which it is articulated in Chinese sounds like the word for "riches" or "thriving." I'll take riches and flourishing over good karma anytime.

9 - Known as the quantity of enchantment, paradise and the Creator. 9 is likewise the measure of lives that a feline has. In Japanese, the number 9 sounds like the word for "torment", which is a complexity to the Chinese number 8 which we simply found out about.

10 - They consider it an ideal 10. In Sikhism, there were 10 masters so this is a critical number to them. In the Bible, Egypt was reviled by 10 maladies. One thing that is getting clear as we investigate the entirety of the twofold implications that these numbers have is that it extremely just relies upon what you look like at things.

11 - The number 11 has been viewed as a number which speaks to inward clash. Another fitting inclination that we've all most likely experienced while at the roulette table, attempting to make sense of what our fortunate numbers for the day will be.

12 - The number 12 is critical across numerous societies truly. There are a year in a year, in this manner 12 signs for the zodiac schedule yet in case you're into Tarot cards you will realize that 12 is the quantity of the hanged man. Good gracious!

13 - Just as seven is fortunate, 13 is frequently viewed as it's partner as an unfortunate number. Western superstitions direct that to eat with 13 individuals at a table is unfortunate, maybe in reference to the Last Supper.

14 - We've just taken a gander at two or three words who's elocution in Chinese and Japanese sound like different words, however give this one a shot. In Chinese culture this is an unfortunate number since "one" "four", when stated, sounds only the words that signify "need to kick the bucket." Sorry for being somewhat sullen, we're only the delivery people.

15 - This number makes them mean for anyone who trusts in balance among all individuals. Susan B. Anthony battled as long as she can remember for ladies' privileges, and her birthday was on the fifteenth day of February. We're not so much sure what her fortunate numbers were, or in the event that she was even an aficionado of roulette, yet because of her endeavors there's a young lady out there some place today who's turning a roulette wheel just because and she won't let anyone hold her back from her fantasies! Isn't that sweet?

16 - It was the sixteenth amendment to the US constitution that made it legitimate for the legislature to gather charges from us, so this one is surely a fortunate number for many individuals sitting in open office, wouldn't you say?

17 - In Tarot, the seventeenth card is the card of the stars and it speaks to trust. You know, similar to "Kid, I truly trust this Voisins wager pays off."

18 - Eighteen is the lawful democratic age! In numerous Canadian areas, it's additionally the lawful drinking age and along these lines the age at which you can at last enter a club to place your fortunate numbers and number implications to the test without a doubt.

19 - According to the Qur'an, 19 is the quantity of blessed messengers which are guarding Hell. Then again, it's additionally the title of the presentation collection from the wonderful songstress Adele, who's voice has spellbound millions around the world. In Stephen King's Dark Tower arrangement, 19 is a secretive number. At long last, it's the latest year that one is a youngster, still so youthful and prepared to snatch life by the horns. An extraordinary contender to be a fortunate number, if its all the same to you the entire 19 heavenly attendants guarding hellfire thing, that is.

20 - A gathering of 20 of something is known as a "score", and scoring is what we're all hoping to do when we take a seat at the roulette table so the number 20 gets our blessing with regards to picking a fortunate number!

21 - This is the drinking age across a large portion of the United States of America. Yee-haw! 21 grams is the heaviness of the spirit, as indicated by some examination that is commonly viewed as totally futile and without merit - so.. there's that as well.

22 - There's a Jay-Z tune in which he rhymes the words "two", "as well" and "to" multiple times. In the event that consultation Jay-Z state two a lot of times causes you to feel fortunate, look no farther than 22 as your definitive most fortunate number.

23 - The 23 Enigma is a conviction that most occasions that happen are by one way or another associated with the number 23. Maybe you have known about the Jim Carrey film called The Number 23 that manages a man who gets fixated. Provided that this is true, at that point you wouldn't you be able to haven't been cautioned about fixating on this number!

24 - There are twenty four hours in a day, yet they appear to pass significantly quicker when you're on a triumphant (or losing) streak. I wonder why that is?

25 - The Book of Revelation said that there were 25 positions of royalty.

26 - There are 26 red cards and 26 dark cards in an ordinary deck of cards. Red and dark, sound well-known? A few people will really utilize a deck of cards to assist them with picking which shading to bet on in roulette.

27 - European roulette is a well known form of the game that highlights a solitary zero, instead of a twofold zero. For what reason does this make a difference? There are 27 nations in the European association, so could this number be fortunate for somebody who's playing European roulette?

28 - The nuclear mass of silicon is 28. We've all observed a lot of silicon lounging around the roulette tables, particularly in Las Vegas, and it's regularly there as a type of four leaf clover it appears, so take from that what you will!

29 - Tom Waits sings tunes about individuals who are down on their karma, and just so happens to have a tune called "$29.00".

30 - Thirty minutes, 30 minutes, the length of the normal personality desensitizing sitcom and furthermore the measure of silver ounces that it took to persuade Judas to deceive Jesus in the Bible. It's dependent upon you to choose if this number will deceive you, or lead you to silver and gold.

31 - This is a fortunate number for performers in light of the fact that there are 31 sets of three in music hypothesis. It's music to the ears to hear that roulette ball drop into the correct opening, that is without a doubt.

32 - Here's another for the music fans. In his lifetime, Beethoven finished precisely 32 pieces for piano.

33 - It's said that Alexander The Great could have passed on at 33 years old. That surely makes this a fortunate number on the off chance that you were one of his adversaries.

34 - The number 34 has different significances across societies, by and large observed as a fortunate number since 3+4=7.

35 - 35mm film is famous both for movies just as for photography. It's additionally the previous Jersey number of resigned Chicago Blackhawk's incredible Tony Esposito. In case you're younger than 35 and you need to be President of the United States of America, you're up the creek without a paddle since it's the base age that one must be to run for President.

36 - The 36 Views of Mount Fuji are a popular assortment of artworks by a Japanese craftsman named Katsushika Hokusai. It's likewise, obviously, the most noteworthy number on the roulette table and one of either 37 or 38 complete numbers when you incorporate the zero or the twofold zero, contingent upon which style of Roulette wheel you're playing on. The American wheel has two zeros, though the European roulette wheel has yet one.

The Devil's Game

We've seen that a great deal of numbers have their own otherworldly criticalness in various religions and beliefs, yet for what reason is roulette nicknamed "The Devil's Game"? Indeed, we referenced that the number 666 had some criticalness a lot prior on in our rundown, and the explanation this identifies with roulette is very basic. On the off chance that you include the entirety of the numbers on the roulette board, you're left with... You got it... 666, the Number of the Beast. At times, nonetheless, you've quite recently found a workable pace your pretty shoes and hit the dance floor with the fallen angel.

[lucifercaelestis]

Sheith Fic Rec Part 2

Hey, so I’m back with more fics. Honestly I haven’t read that many fics lately, kinda distracted by trying to write my own, here’s to hoping it goes well, right? But the fandom deserves something nice in the light of all the troll fics that were posted. I was wondering if I should update my old rec list? Or should I combine this one and the other one into one massive list? What do you guys think? Anyway, same formula, titles are links and bolded, italics are my commentary. Happy reading!

Link to the last fic rec masterpost: http://lucifercaelestis.tumblr.com/post/157021445683/sheith-fic-rec

One-shots (Canon-verse)

orbit by Recluse (T) 21k

"Hey, nice to meet you. Keith, right? I'm Shiro."

Shiro and Keith’s backstory fic, and wow, I was not expecting how it all happened. 11/10 would read again

grief by Recluse (T) 4.5k

There are five stages.

Obligatory Keith grieving over Shiro fic.

it’s not a star i see (it’s always you) by janie_tangerine (E) 18.5k

in which both Keith and Shiro are stuck with birthdays on dates they don't like. Meeting each other makes it more than just a bit better.

Birthday fic that combines Keith’s backstory and major Keith feels with Shiro and god just read the fic please, it’s worth it.

Break Out by reinkist (E) 10.8k

An unexpected reaction to the alien plant life forces Keith and Shiro to have to reevaluate what their relationship is, and what it could be.

Sex pollen fic. Warning for dubious consent. Trope-y as it is, I like how it forces them to confront with certain things.

Falling Forward by flyingisland (T) 3.5k

Shiro is a romantic catastrophe, even with an excellent wingman like Pidge.

Pining Shiro is the best.

crash collide into space by ohmygodwhy (T) 2.6k

Shiro’s gone and all he has left of him are a shitty couch and a few pictures on his phone and dog tags that he’s afraid to touch because touching them feels like accepting the fact that Shiro will never touch them again. If he holds them for long enough any traces of Shiro’s touch will be wiped away and replaced, like they were never there to begin with, like Shiro was never there to begin with.

They deserve to be happy together goddamnit.

distance and the time between us by samalane (T) 7.2k

If Keith had known that an impromptu dance party was the much needed catalyst concerning his and Shiro's non-relationship, he'd have signed himself up for one a long time ago.

Alternatively: in which people get drunk, dance, and confess for the second time.

I love the tiny details inserted into the fic, a different kind of backstory/friendship between Shiro and Keith and how hopeful it ends.

My Favorite Tune Is The One That Sounds Like Me And You by starticker/ @starticker (T) 3k

The Castle of Lions malfunctions again. Fortunately, the results are much less sinister this time around.

(Honestly, Keith preferred the murder attempts.)

This is so cute and I love the moment of realization that occurs later in the fic.

Paint it Black by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)/ @bosstoaster (T) 4k

The team accidentally discovers that the Art of Painting will almost immediately knock out everyone except Keith.

Keith takes advantage of the peace to do one of his favorite things: Draw. More specifically, drawing Shiro.

This really is cute, but believable. Also, they all need a break and they got it, thank god.

make my heart bleed out my chest by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics)/ @shirosredknight  (E) 5.5k

Fuck, my head hurts so bad, Shiro groans to himself, raising his hand up to touch his pounding head. What the hell did I do last night? And why the hell does my body feel so heavy?

He’s gone through a fair number of bad hangovers but Shiro’s never had one where his body feels like it’s weighed down by rocks. Right as he starts to raise himself up on his elbows, there’s the softest snorting noise from his chest. Shiro opens his eyes and stares blearily down at the dark head resting on his chest.

What the...

Keith’s fast asleep on his chest, arms sweetly curled between their bodies. His confusion turns to sharp dread as soon as he recognizes Keith. But the feeling swiftly turns to embarrassed dismay when Keith’s sleepy wriggle makes Shiro realize they’re both naked in his bed. He’s naked in his bed with his best friend slash the person he’s been crushing on for months.

I’m all for mutual pining, especially pining Shiro. The feelings were very nice and I love how it’s resolved.

(Don’t) Stand (So) Close To Me by marinoxx (E) 11k

A certain cadet phases into Shiro's life like a vision, or maybe a dream. He hasn't fallen for him, definitely not. It's just impossible to resist unraveling the heavenly enigma that is Keith.

TL;DR: Keith's been stimulating Shiro since the Garrison and nothing has changed just because they're in space.

Very nice Pining Shiro, just really good garrison Sheith tbh.

baby loves to dance in the dark by Itgoeson (M) 8.1k

“Believe me, I’ve got better things to look at than Shiro’s eyes when he’s working out,” Lance mutters. Keith doesn’t think he’s supposed to hear it.

Featuring: Shiro's eyeliner, Schrodinger's relationship, Keith and Pidge on a mission for Voltron, Hunk and Lance on a mission to figure out Shiro's beauty secrets, and healthy relationships.

I love this author’s take on Shiro and Keith’s dynamic, the inclusion of the others was great too, all in all, A++.

Loving Me’s Like Chewing on Pearls by Itgoeson (Unrated) 18.4k

Shiro works through some issues, the team bonds, and foreign planets have their own wars and conflicts. Voltron finds a way to make it all work, no matter how hard life gets.

I’ve already said that I love this particular author’s take on Shiro and Keith’s dynamic, but this fic hurt me real good.

Young, and in Fields by verdenal (T) 3k

Or: 5 times someone caught Shiro napping on Keith, and one time no one saw Keith sleeping on Shiro. [pre-s2]

Finally they get to rest! I’m all for them getting a break, bless you OP.

The Closest I Get by inkfishie/ @inkfishie (E) 10.7k

“I want to kiss you,” Keith says, voice hushed.

His breath is a warm puff against Shiro’s mouth. They practically are. Kissing, that is. Shiro can feel the tickle of Keith’s mildly chapped lips very close to his own. It’s tempting. Shiro presses closer and nudges his nose against Keith’s. He breathes in their closeness.

Keith and Shiro spend Valentine's Day together following Shiro's Year in captivity.

Very nice and very hot Valentine’s day fic, please read for the feelings.

One-shots (AU)

those imprints your soul left behind by wolfsan11 (T) 4.1k

He wonders, at times, what he’s meant to be doing. Mortals come and go, hurricanes lash at his home (his prison) before moving on to haunt another stretch of water, but he? He remains. Unstable and unknowing, yet permanent.

There must be some purpose to him here. Surely.

-

In which Keith is Te-Fiti and Shiro is also Te-Fiti, until the day Shiro goes missing. Then, there is only Te-Ka.

I never knew I needed this until I read it, so many emotions just !!!!

Unfold Your Wings As You Fall by Aer (G) 10.3k

There's nothing Shiro wants so much as he does for Keith to fly with him.

When I read the summary, my mind just started chanting ‘Wing AU, Wing AU, Wing AU’ very excitedly. I’ve been waiting so long to read a Sheith Wing AU fic and this one did not disappoint.

Loved The Stars Too Fondly by armedarchaeologist (G) 3.1k

Keith fell in love with the stars in the sky and the stars on his arms.

A soulmate AU where whatever you write on your body appears on your soulmate's.

Sheith soulmate AU with stars??? Definitely a must-read.

Complete Multi-chapter (Canon-verse)

hello, i love you, won’t you tell me your name by perzimon (T) 12.3k 2/2

Keith's human enough to have wisdom teeth and unlucky enough to need them extracted. The team despairs.

Best humour I’ve ever seen in a fic, I was laughing the entire time I read this, and still laughed every single time I reread it.

For Everything a Reason by flyingisland (T) 23k 3/3

In Keith's life, the only true absolute was that everyone would always leave in the end.

Obligatory Keith backstory rec, but not obligatory at all because reading this was fantastic!

For Your Actions are Mine by wolfsan11 (G) 3k 2/2

The Red Lion has awaited her Paladin for years, but the figure who fights to reach her is neither what she expects nor wants. Yet, after her imprisonment, perhaps this little one is simply what she needs.

The Black Lion has been left in the dark for far too long. Strung between her two Paladins, old and new, past and present, is that much more difficult. In the end, it comes down to trust and saving each other.

The Lions!!! And Sheith!!! I love this combo, we need more of this.

Strengths and weaknesses by Latart0903 (E) 90.3k 28/28

“You're obviously not the same person you were before Kerberos, you-” Keith aborted his rant.

“We...knew each other? Before? So, we were friends?”

“Something like that…”

-----

Or: How Keith and Shiro's paths cross prior to Kerberos

Garrison Sheith backstory, all the way up to Shiro’s arrival on Earth. 

Ongoing Multi-chapter (Canon-verse)

LAZARUS by Glossolalia/ @fenri (E) Currently 10.5k, 2/9

A binary black hole is a system consisting of two black holes that orbit one another.

Shiro's unforeseen disappearance and Judas play forces Keith to claim his place as Black Paladin, but after a series of obstacles, Keith finds himself stepping down to let someone other than Shiro and him adopt the title 'Black Paladin.' With only the mask of his mentor to guide him and a failing sense of place, Keith has to flip the coin of 'How to Fight a War.' Paladin or Blade of Marmora? Love or chasing a ghost? One of the hardest life lessons is understanding there's a fine line to everything.

“Oh, sweetheart—he liked you, didn’t he?”

The words are a blade beneath the ribs, but instead of scooting backwards, Keith grabs a bar and yanks himself forward. He presses his forehead to the cool steel and yearns. It’s his turn to breathe hard.

“Shiro.”

“Not Shiro.”

I cannot begin to describe how much this fic has hurt me, please read it.

When You Rise by Dragonescence (M) Currently 21.3k, 6/?

For a year Keith waited for Shiro. Now Shiro waits for Keith, haunted by his newly-returned memories of their relationship, praying to whoever who would listen for his baby to wake up.

He's not the only one struggling. And when Keith does wake up, the Voltron family are up to the task of dealing with the changes that follow. Because that's what families do.

Warning for not really graphic rape/non-con in the beginning if I’m not mistaken? Not between the main pairing, but… This fic is really good, I love how the author incorporates all the other characters into the fic.

Sleeping With Ghosts by lemoninagin (M) Currently 10k, 2/3

No one else had ever been loved so deeply by Takashi Shirogane, loved so steadily and enveloped with such care and passion, only to have it cruelly ripped away from them without a moment’s notice.

No, no one had.

No one but him.

A study of Keith while he was in that desert, really sad but worth reading.

Astronomy in Reverse by nsfwlings (E) 3.2k

Shiro and Keith’s friendship kicks off almost immediately when they meet, despite Keith’s initial wariness of Shiro’s kindness. It becomes something much more to Shiro, but he’s not willing to admit it; instead they fall into a mutually beneficial sexual relationship with no romantic strings attached, as is Shiro’s usual way. As for Keith, it takes the Kerberos disaster to hit home what Shiro really means to him.

Or: A gradual falling in love based on mutual respect and attraction, but not without some misunderstandings and an unwanted alien abduction throwing a spanner in the works.

Sheith FWB au, set in canon, with them gradually falling in love??? I can’t ask for anything more than this.

Ongoing Multi-chapter (AU)

Let’s Play by risotto (T) Currently 17.9k, 4/?

Voltron: Legendary Defender, is the action-RPG reboot of an 80s classic with graphics and gameplay more befitting the 2010s. It’s the latest sensation, popular among the retro gaming crowd and Millenials alike. And, like with most trends, Keith’s late to the party. Sort of.

(Alternate summary: Keith meets Shiro and the others online and they play video games like the dorks they are. Also, Keith develops a crush.)

Voltron gaming AU, everyone is in-character and sweet, sweet slow burn, what more could I ask for?

The Professional by TruebornAlpha/ @runicscribbles & @itdans (E) Currently 8.8k 1/3

Shiro is trapped in a life of expectations and responsibility. The black sheep of a prominent business empire, he struggles to come to terms with the tragedy that knocked his life off course. He starts looking for solace through unconventional means.

Keith is ready to offer his services for a price, and it doesn't hurt that Shiro looks so good on his knees.

Dom Keith, AKA sign me tf up.

Series (Canon-verse)

little star chasers by ohmygodwhy (T) Total 23.4k 3 fics

there's an empty space between keith's clavicle and the top of his ribcage, and sometimes he thinks one of shiro’s smiles could fill it up forever, even before he reaches the stars.

The descriptions are so lovely and amazing and the characterization, especially Keith’s,  is just so good!

Series (AU)

Voyager by dawnstruck/ @dawnstruck (E) 39k

The bastard prince of Galra develops a fascination with the human champion and the stars are all too familiar with unlikely lovers.

In all honesty, this one was a guilty pleasure that turned into plain fascination for the dynamic this author has created between them. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

PWP

Not So Private by Skalidra (E) 3.2k

Shiro knew it was a bad idea to let Keith talk him into fooling around in the semi-public showers. Knew it, but did it anyway. It's not entirely surprising that someone walks in on them.

Whistles innocently, it’s better than the description for sure.

Late Night Thirst by weabooflower (E) 6k

Keith is having trouble sleeping and ventures out to get a drink.

The title speaks for itself…

sweet revelation by stimhack (E) Currently 32k, 7/?

Keith Kogane needs to let off some steam after coming into contact with way too much Takashi Shirogane, the golden boy of Galaxy Garrison. He ends up with a paid subscription to PaladinsLive and a hard-on for a faceless stranger behind a webcam, but his crush on Shiro isn't getting any easier to handle. One hot guy ruining his life is bad enough, but two? Keith's hormones are going to be the death of him.

Camboy Shiro fic, enough said.

Vertigo by flyingisland (E) 6.2k

Mixed up laundry and unspoken feelings put Shiro in a precarious situation.

The whole situation is both hilarious and deeply sad somehow.

Reasons by Ithiel_Dragon (E) Total 15.3k, 2 fics

Tooth rotting fluff, angst, and smut. No real plot. Yet anyway.

I like all the feelings going on, the uncertainty and push-pull of their relationship.

Brand New Moves by flyingisland (E) 5.4k

Did Keith want to reward him, or punish him? He’s starting to feel like it’s a little bit of both.

Keith in lingerie fic, surely something we all need.

lend a helping hand by aubadezayn (E) 4.4k

omega!keith is about to go into his first heat since having left earth, and there's a distinct lack of sex toys/aids in space so alpha!shiro offers his totally "platonic" assistance. his hand vibrates, who knows why? it does though, and he's going to help keith get through the week with minimal pain because that's what friends are for right?

or omega!keith and alpha!shiro pine after each other desperately and are oblivious to the other's desire for them.

Omegaverse pining pwp…

Something Else by Mool (E) 14.7k 3/3

Keith noticed something was different with Shiro.

With a suggestion of trying something new with their sex life, Shiro starts acting differently around Keith. With prolonged gazes, lingering touches, and a newly insatiable appetite, Keith isn't one to complain. But as their sexual adventures progress and Shiro's actions become more pronounced, Keith starts thinking it's something else.

Sounds like there's plot but it's actually just a whole lot of smut.

Lots of smut and some misunderstandings but the ending was A++.

Bang Bang by ashinan smut (ashinan)/ @ashinan (E) 2.7k 6/?

A series of NSFW Sheith prompts received and completed on tumblr

Some of these are just really...wow. 10/10 would definitely read again.

Closet Confessional by evaunit0 (E) 5k

Keith is a cadet notorious for being on any and every disciplinary list, and Shiro starts noticing it.

Garrison Sheith PWP...

Clear Intentions by HiddenEye (E) 7k

“At least, he's relaxed, though?”

He only shoots her a smirk, and she rolls her eyes before going through the tablet again from where she sits on one of the chairs near the windows, legs folded neatly on one another. “I don't know why I even ask the obvious. How stupid of me.”

He shrugs. “I thought you knew my intent.”

Everyone needs to relax in some way right?

Post S2

One-shots

Unchanging by madkingray/ @madkingray (G) 2.3k

“Does it bother you?”

“Does what bother me?”

Keith doesn’t look at him, staring down at his lap. His voice is hesitant and quiet, like it’s hard for him to ask (knowing Keith, it probably is). “That I’m part Galra?”

“No,” Shiro answers immediately. “It doesn’t bother me. Having Galra blood doesn’t make you Galra. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re like the ones we’re fighting every day. You’re still you, Keith, and that’s all that matters to me.”

The hurt/comfort post Ep8 fic we all need.

echoes (i’m right here) by katebishoop (Unrated) 3.3k

Shiro disappears, but he never really leaves.

This hurt me quite a bit.

constant state of the damned by HiddenEye (G) 4.3k

The dark attire he wore was a contrast in the room he was in, a stranger among the midst, Galra among Altea. Shiro wondered how he felt about that.

It was then Shiro saw the way his fingers flexed before the Galra spoke, “How long do you plan to stand there?”

I will hoard every BoM Keith fic close to my heart, my eternal weakness.

Abundant of Denial by HiddenEye (T) 4.2k

“I was simply pointing out how you don't usually expose about yourself in front of strangers.”

“I don't.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of, as you see,” Ulaz continued, and his light tone made Keith tense more. “The Blade doesn't forbid relationships.”

-

Keith couldn't escape the type of interrogation the members of the Blade would give him even if he wanted to, especially if this had to do with his lack of personal life.

Sequel to constant state of the damned, with Keith’s numerous father figures and lots of teasing!

we can only do our best (to recreate) by wolfsan11 (T) 7.3k

With the loss of Shiro still fresh on their minds, the Paladins try and cope by revisiting happier memories. Keith ends up revealing more than he means to about how he and Shiro first met.

Or, Keith struggles through the Garrison, meets Shiro and gives him a less-than-stellar not-quite-first impression.

Obligatory Shiro is gone and the team bonds during his absence with added Sheith backstory and Keith feels.

Coelestis by WhisperingOrchard (E) 9.9k

Their love was birthed among the cosmos, thriving in a plane of existence neither fully understood. Of only two things Keith was certain—that their time together was limited, and that he would make the most of said time with his ever fiber.

Or;

Keith and Shiro's "first time" together in the astral plane.

Loving all the star imagery and just how pretty it was, if kinda sad.

Handful by HiddenEye (T) 13.1k

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, if you're a purple baby who just discovered the concept of moving from one place to another on your own, where would you be?”

-

A mission that was supposed to be easy swerved into a loop when Keith found something buried deep under the debris, one that made the team think of building beds, baby-proofing every corner of the castle, and thinking of ways to calm down a clingy Galra.

I’m not really one for kidfics, not unless it’s really, really good, but this one was. It shattered all my expectations and left me wanting more desperately.

Worth the Wait by mikkimouse (T) 3.1k

The Castle of the Lions is huge. Even after living in it for as long as he has, Keith still boggles sometimes at how freaking big it is. With only seven people and five sentient robot Lions living there, he could spend days wandering the halls and never run across another person.

And yet, finding a time that he and Shiro can be alone, without any interruptions, is impossible.

A+ humour, and I just love certain lines. Also the end was just great, very fulfilling.

Ground to stand on (with you) by snofeey (Unrated) 9.2k

“How do you feel about it all?” Shiro asked. “The being part-Galra.”

Keith shrugged. “At first, I didn’t want to believe it. Especially with those nightmares. But now? Doesn’t really matter, I suppose. Trying to think about it like being Asian. Affects what I look like, not who I am.”

Shiro smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that? Not everyone would be able to say that.”

--

There had been too much revealed by the Blade of Marmora for anyone to be comfortable with. Keith's disappeared, Shiro's wondering how to apologize, and Allura's furious. But a late night has Shiro and Keith working through fears and worries, lingering anxieties, and the fear that this new revelation brought with it, and in the end, they stand taller for it.

Post ep8 character fic that I needed, thank you.

In my right hand there’s the great unknown by PaladinofFeels

After the fight against Zarkon Shiro wakes up but soon realizes that he's not home. He's not even in his universe. He's stuck jumping from alternative universe to alternative universe, watching how tiny decisions change everything about their lives.

It's not always for the better.

Now he has to find a way to go back home, even if he doesn't understand why this is happening to him in the first place.

Shiro jumping through alternate universe fic, really sad but somehow hopeful too?

Multi-chapter

Distal Coordinates by saltyseaachips (E) Currently 21k, 4/?

All his life Keith had been fighting things he doesn't know of yet.

(Later he finds answers and questions in a person and place he's never dreamed of.)

BoM Keith with such an interesting plot? The suspense is keeping me hanging off the edge of my seat.

Disowned by kittypox (M) Currently 28.4k, 8/?

The ultimatum was clear and simple: betray the resistance and be reunited with his son or die a traitor and have his son used regardless. The choice is obvious to Thace, but he knows team Voltron will not give up one of their own so easily. There may be a way to salvage the situation, but the Galra have more than one back handed card to play. Meanwhile, Shiro is determined to do anything to get Keith back.

I am so excited for this fic, I can never anticipate what’s coming next and it’s amazing!

The Alpha Hunter by kittypox (E) 18.3k 4/?

Back in the leader seat after 3 years of imprisonment Shiro struggles to maintain his focus pursuing the end of the Galra empire while fighting a war with himself. He is the alpha, the leader, but he doesn’t feel that way any longer. He had prayed that Keith would be able to pull him back from the brink, but his mate is distant, hostile even. They have both suffered but they’ll suffer more if they don’t mend their bond. It’s a solution that sounds easy in theory, but not so much so when Shiro realizes his mate has picked up some unsavory past times in his absence.

Really heartbreaking future fic with ABO-verse ties.

Picosecond by Glossolalia/ @fenri (M) 23.5k

It's been eight years since the fall of the Galra Empire. While most of the Paladins of Voltron have gone their separate ways as friends, it's the Black and Red Paladin who've parted on uncivil terms. At Commander Allura’s side, Shiro is now a married man and father overseeing the birth of the universe's peacetimes, and Keith, a bounty hunter, is avoiding any association with the newly established Interuniversal Alliance for Planetary Peace.

It’s by accident Keith finds himself working alongside the man he's tried to run from.

It’s by accident Keith finds himself in the same man's bed.

Future fic that fucks with my heart, man, The dread that I feel reading this fic is only equaled by how much I need to read it. Warning for infidelity, but honestly, I’m pretty sure you’re still gonna want to read it.

[imaginingit]

surgeon!wonwoo

i suck balls at science and can’t remember anything at all from any of my classes but i think it’s one of the most interesting and unfathomable concepts in the world - and in my world, so does wonu so enJOY

wonwoo and his specs gave me this idea and it ki l l ed m e

so i knew i had to write a lil something abt it :-)

ok where do we start

remembered his mama camping out in the kitchen all the time and then heard the occasional “ah!” as she nipped her finger cutting some onions

and raced like usain freaking bolt to the medicine cabinet to reach the bandaids

and the look in her eyes when he quickly patched it onto her

it was just a bit of blood, but 4 year old!wonwoo was still hopped up on the high kitchen counter with one hand on his hip, the other wiping an imaginary sweat drop from his head, and gave a nice long “phew! you’re ok, ma! scared me there”

then proceeded to yell at her with his extremely not-deep-yet voice (om g can u imagine) for not being careful enough and interrupting his power ranger episode

but a few nipped fingers and a million thank-you smooches (“eW MOM gEt awAY i’m 4, i’m too old for kisses) later, jeon wonwoo decided to become a surgeon

bc how is it not cool to sew severed fingers back together???

so through elementary and junior high, he walked into science class everyday with a little hop in his step for his favourite subject and ready to learn about cells and mitochondrial functions and enigmas of the muscle and much more

until he discovered more than just sewing severed toes and ears back together

he remembered his 7th grade teacher talking about how the brain is the most powerful thing in the world, and just a simple nug to the head can send it all crashing down

he also went on to explain that the brain will never be a mystery solved, but those who try will never be short of acclaim

and since then, he delved into the world of neurology

by delved, i mean, dove the fuck into it, then drowned, then woke, then dove some more

through high school, he topped every single one of his bio classes and won every single science award in the school board

how????

HE’S A GENIUS

and also stays in on sunday afternoons to read his bio 4.6 textbook instead of sushi with friends

leading to best friend mingyu’s endless grumbling and whining that they never get to hang out anymore

meanwhile mingyu has his socks and sweaters and clothes all at wonwoo’s place; has a toothbrush there, buys food for his parents, uses the stove at wonwoo’s more than wonwoo does the pOINT IS HE BASICALLY LIVES WITH WONWOO

but everyone around wonwoo knows how much it means to him to be able to make this work

he marvels about science bc it’s a practicality but finds beauty in its enigma and endless endeavours of research and study

(jeon wonwoo is basically a nerd)

(but a hot one)

but yes, all his life, books, textbooks, textbooks, and books are all he’s known

so with all this accumulated knowledge he literally fucking powers through his undergrad and masters programs like.  .. … bruh

he then gets accepted into the second top med school in the country boY

and this was such an eye opening experience for him because as much as his undergrad and masters did for him with theoretical aspects of science, he finally got to do hands on experiments and witness clinical trials and watched a live!! open!! brain!! surgery!!

so finally he goes through his internship and residency for a few years at this amazing hospital in the heart of the city and has already become most renown neurosurgeon the hospital has seen in years despite his age

imagine little wonu in faded green scrubs, with a tiny notepad in his hand and occasionally pushing his glasses up his nose, as he scurries around with his resident trying to take notes during rounds

to this hot-ass, confident, head of neurosurgery surgeon that has nurses and residents (even interns and PATIENTS) slipping on their drool for him in his white coat and cerulean blue dress shirt, the top button left untouched (seungcheol had to slap his hand away multiple times during breakfast to keep him from trying to button it again)

but lbr he still trips over his laces bc he forgot to tie them before he left in the morning and buttons his dress shirt wrong under his white coat when coups doesn’t come in the morning to check up on his wardrobe choices for the day 

one time, accidentally brought mingyu’s grocery shopping list from his briefcase to the pharmacy rather than the prescription for ibruprofen for his patient jesus christ wonwoo

the point is, knowledge has always come easy for him, the other stuff have not 

,,,,,,and then there’s u

oh boy

science is ur nemesis

ultimate. nemesis.

the first time you ever stepped foot into your science class in the sixth grade, every word that came out of ur teacher’s mouth, to you, was just a complete ,,,, , , ,what??

and ur not stupid (actually very completely opposite), ur brain just physically, literally, cannot comprehend the concept of science

even if it may be so extremely fascinating to u, chem!!! physics!!!! and bio!!! are allergic to sticking to ur brain so u just learn to avoid science at. all. costs.

remember when i said that jeon wonwoo was a classic genius and a social termite like he’s so shy and weird around new people that he just deflects it at all costs?

WELL NOT YOU

so u went into journalism bc instead of memorizing formulas and using every unit of area in ur brain, ur communication is ur best friend

through high school and university, you were the campus butterfly

you knew everyone and everyone knew you, and any event that needed an mc? a motivational speaker? a presenter? that’s you!

you and best friend soonyoung always do those stuff together and you fell in love with the art of communicating, articulating, and analyzing information, all the while keeping the listeners intrigued and focused the entire time

but unfortunately the years after ur undergrad trying to look for gigs with ur firm has been extremely unsuccessful and it was to the point where u didn’t know if u wanted to stop this or continue bc it was just too low of a demand

until one day!

u come into ur office and find a piece of paper on the bulletin board talking about the new neural clinical trial happening at this huge hospital near u, and they were looking for someone to cover it!

and at first u were like um kk clinic? try? what?

but .2 seconds later it hits you that thERE’S AN OPEN OPPORTUNITY

and u vow to plow through it as boring as it may be, bc it’s been just sitting there and people haven’t signed up probably cause medical cases are usually a failure and such a bore to talk abt

you need this

so u quickly apply with all the info you need to and two days later, you’re stepping foot into this huge hospital and escorted to the neuro ward to get things started

when u get to the floor ur led by nurse!jeonghan to the head surgeon on this case

i think y’all know where this ish is going 

and jeonghan begins asking u a few questions abt the case, trying to gauge where you are with the info, and its safe to say u have nada dirt on this

so he laughs and begins to explain

this was the first clinical trial this hospital has done in 14 years, and despite being a renown teaching and surgical hospital, it has never quite reached its potential on the research aspect 

so the new head of neuro, dr. jeON, has decided to go forth with the new clinical trial (an experiment where those with the sickness subjected to the study will volunteer to be apart of the research, using themselves as a way to find a cure) for huntington’s disease, an inherited brain disorder that slowly deteriorates one’s ability to move, speak, function, as brain cells being to die off

he’s already got you so hooked on the case that you begin to wonder why no one at ur firm did an extra bit of research in the first place to snatch this gig 

but ur glad anyway CAUSE ITS NOW URS

u probably looked so flabbergasted and numbly excited that jeonghan mistook it for ur cluelessness and nerves, so he goes

“dw, it’ll be fine! dr. jeon here will walk through everything with you anyway, and you’ll basically be with him for the entire course of this trial to document everything, so tomorrow, just immediately head up here”

and knocks on the door labeled “dr. jeon wonwoo, ph.d, m.d., head of neurosurgery”

and for the head of neuro, for someone taking forth in an idea that hasn’t been touched in over a dozen years in such a renown hospital, you did not expect the door to be opened by a 

beautiful

human being 

his glasses sat perfectly atop his face as his sharp yet kind eyes rested upon urs 

and his white coat and black dress shirt today and nice slim pants and a pair of $200 light brown dress shoes bOI

and when he opens the door and finds ur mouth agape and eyes shining with excitement he feels like a leap in his chest 

like who is this beautiful person 

and he scolds himself, no wonwoo stop this nOW 

and he doesn’t know if it’s bc he hasn’t been on a date in like forever or if it was simply u

answer: it was simply u 

but we’ll get to that 

and jeonghan notices the tension so begins giggling and retreating from the scene

so wonwoo clears his throat when it’s just the two of you left

introduces himself and you m e l t bc

his........voice.................

and you stutter ur name and in his head he’s like o h m g what a pretty name what do i do with myself

so you enter his office and its surprisingly extremely tidy and put together for someone that probably has to worry about so much in a day 

and begins to talk about the case with you 

and remember the cute and stuttery person that opened the door to see u like 2 minutes ago

GOODBYE

bc here’s jeon wonwoo talking about science and his eyes light up brighter than anything you’ve ever seen

he talks about huntington’s first to give you a bit of background as to what it is, and then delves right into his plan

his hands begin to move with his words and he smiles when he begins to talk about how no one has attempted this before and maybe this could make a difference in this hospital, his career, and even medical history!!

and he kinda noticed you blanking when he talked about the logistics of the science so he kinda laughs to himself, knowing that science might not be ur thing

but for some reason, ur ok with science if u have this man talking to u abt it 24/7 ;)))))))

and u take notes on this and he notices ur pretty handwriting so gathers up his GODDAMN COURAGE to ask u a simple question

“so you’re a journalist?”

and u begin to tell him that you loved being able to tlak about something that reflected on someone’s experiences and share them with the world, just liek this one 

and he smiles and thanks u, knowing that it must have been difficult to agree to a medical case 

u assure him its no problem, meanwhile swooning over his s m i l e

and it’s only been like 30 minutes but u’ve already developed a crush like wow 

so for the first week, your conversations are a wholesome mixture of science, stutters, facepalming when u say something cringey and accidentally, and hoping to make the other laugh 

in the second week, you begin to meet the patients coming in, taking each of their stories and details with huntington’s 

and for the first time, you see how wonwoo interacts with his patients

and that crush that you developed become sso much more - you have this whole new found respect for him as a doctor

with care and intent, he asks his patients abt their day before going right into details of the treatment, knowing that all these people are doing his career a favour and the least he can do before they risk their lives into this experiment is at least be their friend

and even 70 year old women that can barely move anymore still manage to blush at the sound of his voice 

u see the way he holds their hand when he’s explaining the process and the courteous nod of his head as they talk to him and u know this man is more than just a surgeon and that he’s just an amazing human 

by the third week, your conversations have now transitioned to telling each other what u did last night and what ur planning for dinner tonight 

and u know to bring him coffee every morning now

the first time u did it, he legit had STARS in his eyes bc o mg u r so cute 

and u guessed it right the first time, that he liked his coffee black with just a dash of sugar

GET THE METAPHOR

by the end of the month, the more you learn about him, the more you’re amazed

you guys become closer and share the passion of wanting to help ppl in some way

and ur relationship now has become a complete budding and teasing relationship and there’s literally never a dull moment with u 

ur fav thing to do together is to do acrostic poems

u also take bets on who’s sleeping with who in the hospital

he always wins 

“its not fair u OBVIOUSLY know more abt them than i do!!!”

“hey babe, dont hate the player, hate the game”

and then u have to keep ur knees from buckling bc bABE ? ?? ? ?

the nurses always comment on how you’ve brought him so far out of his shell and he never really used to talk to anyone besides his patients, but he’s been treating his residents to dinner, helping the nurses out with the paperwork, and it’s only been happening since u came

and u r like

. . ,,, ?? me?

and they’re like yes! do u not notice how red he turns everytime u walk into the room?

you soon learn his favourite colour is blue

his favourite band is my chemical romance 

im kiddin g 

his best friend is mingyu and he’s a chef 

you learn that he has a younger brother and his first ever splurge was buying him and his parents a cottage by the ocean

also that he never really eats at home and he barely ever gets to go home bc of the gruelling hours and so he tends to just eat in his office before he checks up on his patients during night rounds 

you also learn that he’s having a housewarming party for his new condo this saturday and was wondering if yoU’D LIKE TO COME ALONG???

by this point, your research was mainly complete and you were a third finished with ur piece on this

so ur like y know what? SURE

and u try ur fucking best not to blush, but as you leave for the night, jeon wonu does a HUGE happy dance in his office before realizing that his walls and doors are glass and peopLE CAN SEE U WONWOO GODDAMn

but he texts u his address with a smirky face 

“jeon wonwoo why are u sending me a text w a smirky face” 

“idk that was my attempt to be cool did it work” 

“no”

“oh”

so it was ur day off on the day of his party and u know wonwoo doesn’t really throw stuff like this cause he only has a "small” group of friends

“it’s only gonna be u and my small group of friends”

“how small”

“well i grew up with these guys, there are abt 13 of us”

“THIRTEEN ISN’T SMALL”

and usually you’d be fine bc u have no problem meeting ppl but like these are wonwoo’s brothers???

you wanna try so hard to impress these people bc--

wait wonu isn’t ur bf??? WYD

SNAP OUT OF IT 

so u slap urself and then take like four hours to find the right outfit and do ur hair nicely 

and u show up in ur fav outfit and look bomb asf yas 

and he opens the door after u knock

and

oh

my

lord

he’s wearing a simple white t-shirt and ripped jeans 

jeon wonwoo

phd

md

head of neurosurgery 

in ripped jeans 

rip reader

and as u lose ur words, he also loses his and ur both just standing there clearly REALIZING THAT UR IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER PERSON AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE EVER WORN ANYTHING OTHER THAN PROFESSIONAL CLOTHING AND WOW? SO? NICE?

so he snaps out of it bc yes i’m hosting this party thts right, and brings u inside 

you hear a bunch of exclaiming and hushing from inside the rooms and a lot of limbs knocking into the walls as 13 human beings sprint from inside of the condo to mEET THE JOURNALIST THAT JEON WONWOO HASN’T SHUT UP ABOUT IN TWO MONTHS 

and they all rush out and ur a bit overwhelmed but introduce urself and then scan through all the faces

you notice nurse!jeonghan, head of pediatrics!chan, his best friend, mingyu, and--

wait

“KWON SOONYOUNG???????”

yes ur best friend from uni also happens to have grown up in the same neighbourhood as surgeon jeon and u cant believe ur luck

so hoshi jumps out from the herd of men and tackles you with a hug and u can’t believe this until wonwoo explained he didn’t tell them ur name bc they would go crazy stalker-bitch mode, hence why they were so excited to meet u today 

so the rest of the night was spent with everyone being completely loud and tipsy and pushing the two of u together in an attempt to be slick they’re not 

and u see the bond that all the boys have and how boisterous wonwoo is around them too and u feel so lucky and ur heart is so full to witness a group of people truly in love and as close with one another 

so by the end of the night, as they all leave, soonyoung stops u at the door before he goes and tells u how happy he is that after losing touch post-uni, u’ve managed to bump into each other today again

but he also hugs u and tells u that wonwoo hasn’t shut up abt u 

and that he hasn’t been in touch with his brothers in a rlly long time bc of stress and anticipation with this new project

and that although wonwoo doesn’t do this much, he can tell that he’s super comfortable around u and that he seems to glow when he talks abt u 

and ur like omg s o noyougn  st op po

so after he leaves, you stay behind to help clean up 

but you’ve also decided

to confess

bc ur project is almost over and the paper is almost finished and ur ok with leaving on this note, regardless of if he reciprocates the feelings or not 

u just had to tell him, it was in ur nature to 

and u almsot back out but at the door, just as ur about to leave 

you were gonna say it 

and then 

his lips are on urs and god they’re soft and ur eyes just close immediately and his two hands cup ur face, intensifying the kiss, holding u up and taking up ur space as if he owns it and wow, it does things to u 

after what feels like an eternity, you part and u look at him with his swollen lips and rosy cheeks and glistening eyes and u almost cried right then adn there

bc wow ur in love with jeon wonwoo and u can’t believe u haven’t even told him that 

“i’ve been waiting to do that for so long”

“idiot, i was gonna confess first”

shrugs “i guess i just beat u in everything then”

that gets a smack on the head

until he asks u to stay the night and he can drive u both to work in the morning tomorrow and u agree bc how can u say no and so u end up staying over and wearing his sweater to bed and he lies there in bed literally hyperventilating bc SWEATERS ARE HIS WEAKNESS LIKE WHAT

so u drive into work the next morning with ur hands intertwined and in the corner of ur eye as ur walking in, u see head of pediatrics!chan slap a fifty dollar bill into nurse!jeonghan’s hands

so the rest of that month is spent going through with each patient and stealing chaste kisses in the x-ray viewing rooms and getting teased by everyone in the hospital 

even the patients 

until by the third month, the trial hits its first roadblock 

patient 04 had died on the table just as jeon wonwoo was inserting the second tube, and as surprised as u are that this was the first malfunction with the trial, it hits u nonetheless

hearing the news, u drop everything and go to his office after the surgery

this was the first taste of adversity in ur relationship too and u were curious to see as to how you guys were going to deal with this, esp since ur work was integrated into ur personal life 

but u walk in and there he is 

eating a freaking popsicle 

jeon wonwoo’s patient just died on the table and he’s in here eating ice cream

and u didn’t know if u were confused? angry? horrified?

and u close the door behind u as u walk in and draw the blinds for the glass walls and windows 

and as u turn around from doing that, he chucks the popsicle into the bin, walks up to you slowly and drops his head onto ur shoulder

you freeze, unsure if he’s crying or not, but u hear steady breathing and his arms slowly creeping around u and ur sure he isn’t 

but u can tell that he’s exhausted and scared, even if no words are shared between the two of u 

so you both stand there for god knows how long, holding each other, breathing each other in, releasing all tension and heartache from the day without a single word, just the sound of heartbeats and breathing 

until finally he lifts his head, eyes droopy and a small smile on his face, arms still around you, when u cup his face and tell him that ur so damn proud of him 

everything is going to hit a roadblock at some point, and this was bound to happen. we entered this knowing that it was science; anything can happen. just hang in there, wonu, we can do it 

and that was the first time wonu said i love u out loud 

and for all the people that doubted he was going to ever get a girlfriend with his head stuck in so many textbooks, it was the head stuck in the textbook method that even got him here to meet u in the first place SO SUCK IT

and so by the time u finish ur paper and the trial is reaching its end, there was a mixture of patients that successfully responded to the trial and those that didn’t make it 

but ur paper gets high acclaim from hospitals across the province for its research and editorial skills

and wonwoo received the highest achievement award from the board for his endeavours with the trial 

and after many long and gruelling months filled with work and chaste kisses here and there

you finally have time to take a seat and take in everything 

and marvel at wonu as a surgeon and as a human

bc how in the damn world did u ever get so lucky with science??

this,, ,, ,, is so long but enjoy bc i love jeon wonwoo 

:)

[lennoncarroll]

i.

it all began when his basketball coach noticed something was off about the boy with eyes that resembled caribbean waters.

it was usual for lennon carroll to indulge in talking shit on the court. in fact, he was quite fluent in it, but that day.. that day, it was a bit worst than his norm.

“carroll?”

lennon’s head turned so quickly towards his coach, you might’ve thought he had a case of whiplash afterwards. “yeah?” he says, lifting his jersey to wipe the droplets of sweat across this forehead.

the elder beckons him over with a motion of his clipboard, causing the dark haired boy to jog over. it’s a brief silence that falls over them both, the raucous noises escaping the team who are bounding up and down the court to make their plays.

lennon wonders what this is all about, considering he was never one to make trouble when it came to practice. he had prior knowledge about coach’s attitude, and how he nearly made the team five years ago do a thousand suicides if anyone of them arrived a minute late to practice. apparently, to him, basketball wasn’t just a hobby but funnily enough, life.

“what’s going on with you?” he asks, eyes flickering between his clipboard and the boy standing in front of him.

lennon furrows an eyebrow, his chest heaving up and down as he still tries to catch his breath. he had no idea where this was coming from, and his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, as if to speak but the older man threw a lifesaver out to the sea his mind was currently drowning in.

“as much as i enjoy you running your damn mouth and giving these boys a run for their money, whatever happened to teamwork? you haven’t passed the ball once, this entire practice,” coach was presently staring at the boy who had permanent confusion sketched onto his features, shaking his head slightly. “you’ve always been a team player, but now it seems like some shit’s gone to your head.”

“i’m good, coach. i figured i’d do the team a favor, y’know?”

“by ballhogging?”

“what, no.”

“that’s exactly what you’re doing, carroll.” by now, the coach was tutting and sighed in utter defeat at the decision he was making. he didn’t want it to come to this, but lennon wasn’t behaving like his usual self. it was best for the team, if he did this now than later. “maybe you should head home, clear your head, and come back tomorrow when you actually want to be on the team.”

lennon scoffed. “bullshit, i’m not going. i’m the best player on the team!”

his outburst produced his teammates to pause their actions, diverting their attention to the scene playing out in front of them. it was evident that lennon was a little dramatic, but the fact that he was declaring himself as the best player on the team was a little out there. it was half true, especially when his best friend, nixon peters, was his competition. though, with his system craving something far out of its reach, his game was slipping and presently, he wanted to prove he still possessed the fire and passion months ago. after all, this was the one of the only things that kept his sanity in check.

“i’ll make you sit out the next couple games, if you don’t take your ass to showers and head home. and that’s a promise. you’re done for the day.”

lennon’s eyes danced, his hands wounding themselves into fists as the two stared each other down for a few moments. the man wasn’t threatening him, was he? instead of entertaining the thoughts blossoming in his head, the dark haired boy threw his head back and chuckled so lowly that it almost sounded like a growl of some sorts. he stalked away, and went to the locker room to grab his duffel bag.

unbelievable. 

un-fuckin’-believable.

he tried to do everyone a favor, and it wasn’t even appreciated. 

shaking his head, he made the call to engage himself in something that could ease the tension off his shoulders immediately.

ii.

he thought about it.

he thought about murdering every soul in class, and pulling the trigger to his head without any remorse.

then, the realization dawned on him that the infamy that arrived, wasn’t what he needed at the moment.

his foot tapped the floor intensely, his patience running thin as the pre-calculus professor droned on and on about quadratic functions.

god, he just wanted to get out of there. he wanted to surrender to his desperate need, and free himself from the stress college delivered.

he didn’t think it would come to this -- the tales of horror that his eighth grade health teacher recited about drugs, and their effects. but this one made him feel different.

it made him feel invincible. it made constellations swirl in the dark caverns of his mind, reviving a fire in him that he didn’t think he lost. it made him feel the pleasures that being buried deep in a beautiful girl couldn’t bring.

despite that, he was growing irritable with most things that wouldn’t have gotten to him previously. the smallest thing ticked him off, and most noticed that today when a fellow classmate asked him for a pen... and resulted with her sobbing to death, her chest rising and falling quickly to calm down at the words he spat at her.

in his defense, everyone had bad days and this just so happened to be his. or so, he thought.

he knew his friends worried about him, even the ones who considered his little problem just like that. little.

except it wasn’t. it was growing into something he couldn’t shake off like a monkey on his back. he was finding himself on the outs, especially with his mother.

she was afraid of him, to be honest. it wasn’t a phase that her co-workers had conceived, but something more sinister. she prayed, long and hard, that the boy was experiencing the one thing his father struggled with all his life. it was a little difficult for her to tell which only made her recount the various steps she followed with the man she once loved.

he huffed, shoving all his things inside the mouth of his backpack and stood to leave the lecture hall. he couldn’t waste another a moment on something that wasn’t going to benefit him in the long run, and if it mattered that much, he’d request the help of his friend who almost always got a hard on whenever the word, ‘math’ was mentioned.

he didn’t bother to apologize to the person he bumped into on his way out, only making obscene gestures towards their small act of surprise.

white lies, white lines.

iii.

"put that thing away," meredith carroll chirped. "it's the first time in forever since you been home, and we're going to make the best of it, lennie."

eyes wandered  to where his mother waded around the abnormally small kitchen, occupying herself with creating one of his favorites. with a deep intake of air, lennon squeezed at the pen on his grasp and tried his best to keep his harsh words from parting his mouth. the elder woman was trying. she really was. he was giving that to her since it had been a little over month since christmas break he had been home, and dealt with his boisterous neighbor condemning him and the rest of the neighborhood to hell. yet, he never understood how the woman formerly known as sunshine by her hippie parents, managed to deal in such a cramped space. their house was quaint or at least, his mom's overly exaggerated taste in interior design that involved tacky pink flower wallpaper that draped the very walls that caused his eyes to strain throughout his years, was considered to be that.

"you're not even done with dinner yet."

she sighed. "i will be. besides, it's like the only thing you do whenever you're home is write in that silly—" another intake of breath from her son caused her to falter a little. "i-i meant, write in that little book of yours."

"it's not silly or little." he shut his prized possession immediately. "this is the same thing that was supposed to take me to New York, remember?"

the woman turned away from the bubbling tomato sauce, her hip leaning against the counter. she gave a comforting nod, her lips pursing a little as she searched for a reasonable answer that wouldn't earn her another rise in her son. "of course i remember that, lennon. i know for a fact that you wanted to go to that school ever since... —

the pause she offered made an electrifying crack snake its way down his spine, his hair falling into his eyes when he somewhat bowed his head. ever since... ever since his dad. the enigma conjured up the idea that their son was destined for greatness, spinning his joyful wife around when he discovered a bumbling toddler thumbing at the forgotten dictionary in the living room. it was the same man that he heard stories about from his neighbors; that sometimes whenever lennon wore those glasses of his that he hated with a burning passion, that he looked so much like his father. the stories of the night that ended his parents' relationship for good, left his mother badly scared since he tried to kill her in a drunken stupor. it was things the two didn't talk about or as she put it, 'better left unsaid.' but then again, he couldn't believe half of the things that his mother said. this was the same woman who nearly had a psychotic episode during parent-teacher night in the fourth grade when the teacher made a snide comment about her clothes.

he snapped out of it when a plate thundered against his place at the table, his eyes lifting to see the small smile she offered him. he mumbled a lifeless, "thanks." and stared at the noodles drowning in red sauce, topped with chunks of brown meat and sprinkled over with parmesan cheese. for the first time in a while, his mouth watered at the sight. he nearly devoured the entire thing before his mom had a chance to settle into her seat, and enjoy her meal herself. it made her giggle, witnessing her son eat in what felt like years.

he was always not hungry.

then again, the dark circles underneath his eyes proved that something bothering him and even if she stopped asking after noticing how annoyed he got at her questions lately, she still wondered what the case was. but she thought she would save that for another day. after all, having his presence around was the highlight of her week.

dinner went smoothly, the two make small chitchat like they used to do. it was easy for him to talk so animatedly, a trait that was becoming prominent in the recent months. to be honest, it was that very thing that led to this feeling igniting within the boy who hadn’t seen his mother smile in what seemed to be forever, especially at something he said but he wasn’t here for that. he was here for other things. bigger things.

“so, i need your help with something.” he sniffed, his hand wiping at the nonexistent drip of his nose.

she beamed, “of course, babe. what is it?”

“i need a couple bucks.”

a puzzled expression washed over her face in a rapid heartbeat, her arms coming around and hugging at her waist. “for what, lennon?”

“this book for class.” the lie rolled off his tongue easily, his body performing something so foreign to its usual state. his muscles twitched so quick, the small smile tugging at his lips.

“i thought you had already paid for your books with that voucher..” she trailed, putting her magazine away. “you mentioned that months ago?”

“it’s a new semester, ma.” he sighed.

“i’d rather you be honest about what you need it for, honey. i know you don’t need it for that.”

you’re right, i don’t. i need it for blow, and i’m short forty bucks.

by this time, lennon was growing annoyed with his mom and her further delaying the process. every other time he asked, it led to he slapping his desired amount in hand and him being on his merry way. maybe because then, he had produced a few crocodile tears, talking about how she didn’t love him and ho much he wished he didn’t exist to the point where he asked her why didn’t she swallow instead of being so selfish to give him this life. he could go for the jugular, and say that his dad did more for him than she ever did, but that was pushing the limit since he hadn’t seen him or heard from him in years. they were going back and forth, with the boy raising his voice at his mother and hoping that she’d leave the room entirely, for him to rummage through her purse like the thief he slowly transitioned into.

“what do you mean you can’t help me? i’m your son.”

“i don’t have the money right now, lennie. you know that.” this was the honest truth, considering the miscellaneous jobs she had to afford so much.

“but it’s only forty dollars! why do you have to do this to me, huh? i don’t ask for anything! why can’t you give me what i want this once?” he questioned, eyes narrowing at her figure.

“do you like having a roof over your head? do you like having something to eat whenever you come home for the weekends? i’m barely making enough as it is.”

“y’know what, fine? i didn’t want to do this, but you gave me no choice.”

it was in that moment that lennon went to the place she always kept her purse, under the decorative pillow hand-stitched by his grandmother in the love seat, he came up empty. immediately, he asked her where’d she put it but of course, she was going to be difficult and not tell him. this angered him so when he took that first step, the shade of red cloaking his vision made his mom utter the words she never wanted when it came to him.

“leave, lennon. i don’t want to see you around here until you straightened up your act!”

it was fine by him.

he’d get the money, one way or another.

[fleeting-phantasm-blog]

(Dadster Fic) “R&D: Research and Dad-velopment” Ch. 1

(A second version of the post, without the gift recipient tagged / my obnoxious yammering—for a cleaner reblogging experience :3c.)

Rating: G, All Audiences Chapters: 1/? Genre: Family, Fluff Warnings: N/A AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9535625/chapters/21561716

Summary:

(A gift for “thegeminisage” as part of Tumblr’s Undertale Secret Santa Exchange!)

Upon returning from his unexpected sojourn into the depths of oblivion, Dr. Gaster finds the Underground to be a vastly different place from the one he left behind—most notably, in regards to his eldest son. Oh, lamentations! His junior scientist, his bundle of insatiable curiosity … now a lazy, lethargic, layabout! What’s a father to do?

Enter Flowey. As a favor for King Asgore, Gaster agrees to babysit this baleful buttercup while the royal family pays a diplomatic visit to the Surface. Talk about the perfect opportunity! Not only will it put the former Royal Scientist within inches of the Underground’s greatest enigma, playing house to this little yellow mystery is sure to put some pep back into Sans’s lifeless steps. Perhaps, it will help him remember the way he used to be? However, when the son’s reactions contradict the fathers’ notes and observations, the greatest mind in monsterkind realizes that, when it comes to parenting, he may have a few lessons left to learn.

1

In the beginning, there was darkness. Or, no, that would be more towards the middle, he supposed. Yes, in the middle, there was darkness. In the beginning, however, there was light. Two sources of it, in fact: The first, his oldest son, who inherited his thirst for knowledge and never ending stream of questions, whose pupils shone with thoughts of all the possibilities he hadn’t yet discovered—but always knew he would; the second—his youngest son—whose brilliance radiated in his smile, in his undaunted spirit, and in the way he could draw anyone, even his sibling, out of their shell. Perfect complements, they were.

Then came the darkness. Suddenly. A cacophony of noise, and then a blink, and then nothing. He was alone. He couldn’t say how it happened. Couldn’t say what had happened, either. Words like that lost all meaning, there. Where? Everywhere! Nowhere! Why? What did it matter? He was there, then, now! Everywhen and nowhen!

So, he did the only thing he could do: He stopped looking for something amidst all the nothing and, instead, thought only of the light.

It was accident: So went the explanation given him by tearfully overjoyed, if now considerably older, colleagues. During a momentary lapse of attention, he slipped and fell into one of his creations. Just … poof! Down he went!

Oh, of all the—

But embarrassing as it was, he was back. And not just back, but alive—and still marginally sane, he thought.

“It was the human,” his colleagues buzzed. “They got you out. Don’t know how they did, but they did.” And, apparently, that wasn’t all they did. They surpassed their species’ history and biases and spread joy throughout the Underground, crafting powerful bonds with every monster they met—“Your sons, included.”; they saved the deceased Crown Prince as well as his former vessel; then, they broke the barrier and became the driving force behind the burgeoning relationship between man and monsterkind.

What a world he had returned to! Monsters of science spouting miracles! His mind raced. He needed to get home, to see his sons, to talk with them and laugh with them and rediscover every inch of this new and exciting existence.

And he told himself right then and there: It had been his light which kept him together when even logic fell apart; he would not lose his light again.

* * *

For the umpteenth time in fifteen minutes, Dr. Wingding Gaster glanced at his watch, sighed, and contemplated dragging Sans down by the hood of his sweatshirt.

“He knows what day it is. I reminded him yesterday; you reminded him twice this morning. We give him plenty of time to do whatever it is he needs to do, and yet, every single week he…” Gaster’s mutterings faded as he felt the sympathetic glove of his youngest son pat him twice on the shoulder.

What was a father to do?

It wasn’t long after the good doctor had returned to the here-and-now did he realize that, beneath the world’s fresh coat of positivity, something terrible had taken place on the home front. Ah, there it was! (Finally.) He could hear the telltale signs approaching now: The familiar creaking of an oft-used bedroom door; fuzzy footfalls pausing every other step, turning a simple flight of stairs into a laborious excursion; a succession of sharp snaps as a slackened spine straightened into an impossible stretch, followed by the crackling of a jaw into an uproarious yawn; then, five phalanges grating against an ilium that always itched at the most inappropriate moments… Each and every sound a symptom of the malevolent malady that had invaded his home in his absence, sunk its tendrils into his eldest son, and transformed him into… into…

“Hey, you mind if I skip this one, G-Man? Happy Hour’s starting at Grillby’s, and I don’t wanna be late for being early.”

Oh, heavens above, just look at him! There Sans was, in all his mustard-stained glory, stopping on the very bottom step and addressing his patiently waiting family by slouching over the railing like some sort of dozy cat.

Dog grant me patience. With an exasperated exhale, Gaster folded his hands atop the overflowing Notebook of Family Observations™ balanced in his lap and fixed the shorter of his two prides and joys with a pointed look. “You know the rules, son. These are mandatory.”

So, with a laugh and a “Roger dodger”, Sans slinked his way down the final step and flopped onto the couch next to his father, who promptly hissed at him to get his feet off the table. All was as it should have been.

Who was he kidding? Of course it wasn’t!

“Now that everyone is here, I will call our Family Meeting to order.” Ignoring the dispassionate ‘Woo hoo’ uttered from his right, Dr. Gaster opened his patented Notebook and flipped through a few dozen pages coated in his cryptic shorthand before settling on a stack of loose sheets jam-packed in the middle. “Do you boys mind if I go first this week?” There was no opposition. “Very well. Papyrus, there is something I would discuss with you.”

“Yes, sir, Dad, sir?” came the dutiful response from his left.

“For a few days now, I’ve noticed a slight lean permeating your walk.” Gaster adjusted his glasses and, squinting, held one of the loose sheets of paper close to his face. “Specifically, two degrees to the right on Monday, one degree on Tuesday, and then three degrees on Thursday. You haven’t injured yourself, have you?”

Papyrus looked askance. “Um, no, not that I can think of. That’s just my usual cool stride.”

Nonsense. I recognize a favored leg when I see one. Considering his son over the rim of his glasses, Gaster tucked his page of notes back into the depths of the spiral-bound. The rest of the loose sheets, however, he promptly deposited right in Papyrus’s lap. “Well, just in case, I did a little research and prepared some exercise regimens for you—complete with diagrams. Do these every morning, and your, er, ‘cool stride’ will quickly become a radical one.”

Sans stifled a cough in his sleeve.

“T-thank you, sir Dad. You … didn’t have to do this.” Papyrus lifted the top sheet, his eye sockets graced with a series of skeleton illustrations doing everything from headstands to the splits. “Really. You didn’t have to.”

Ah, always so grateful. Gaster chuckled. “It was no trouble at all. Make sure you thank Undyne as well. Her advice was absolutely indispensible!” He heard a noise of pure, unbridled agreement squeak out from behind Papyrus’s tightly clenched smile. He also heard Sans stifle another cough. Was he coming down with a cold? He made a mental note to pick up tissues from the store.

“Now that I’ve said my part,” Gaster continued. “Is there anything you boys would like to bring up? Questions? Concerns? Grievances? Remember, this is a safe and open forum, so we can talk about anything. No judgment. No hurt feelings.” He looked to his right; Sans, staring up at the ceiling, simply shrugged. He looked to his left; Papyrus briefly glanced back down at the papers in his lap before shaking his head. “Nothing? Really?”

Another short meeting… That couldn’t be all, could it? Well, who was he to complain? Another seven days without incident meant another seven days of two happy sons!

“Very well.” Gaster closed his Notebook and leaned back against the couch. “Then, before we go back to enjoying our weekend, I have one last announcement to make.” Papyrus’s attention remained undivided; Sans’s remained ceiling-ward, now with a finger drifting dangerously close to his nasal cavity. The good doctor’s smile turned sly. Rest assured, son, that sharp mind of yours is still in there somewhere. I know it. And I’m about to bring it back. He clapped his hollow hands together. “Starting Monday, Prince Flowey will be staying with us.”

Instantly, the energy in the room changed.

“Flowery is?! Really?!” Papyrus leapt up from his seat, causing his carefully constructed fitness plan to tumble to the floor in a loose leaf whirlwind. “Yes!” he proclaimed. “We’re going to have so much fun! We’re gonna stay up late and watch terrible sci-fi movies, and maybe we’ll go treasure hunting in the Waterfall dump and—”

“—How long?”

Gaster felt a sudden thrill when he heard Sans speak up. For the first time since their meeting began, his oldest son was staring directly at him.

Aha!

“Oh, just a week,” the good doctor said. “The royal family has some important business to attend to on the Surface.”

“And… they’re not taking Flowey with them? Weird. Don’t they all usually go together?”

Gaster could scarcely contain his excitement! More questions from Sans! They were good ones, too. They made even Papyrus calm down slightly as the oddity of the situation set in. Ah, but for this to work, Gaster knew he would have to word his explanation carefully. The doctor straightened up, set Papyrus’s reassembled exercise regimen on the table, and adopted the most secretive expression his skull could muster.

“Well, I’m technically not supposed say anything, so promise me you’ll keep this under wraps?” Both brothers nodded and leaned in close to their father. “Apparently, Flowey doesn’t like the Surface. In fact, I’d hazard to say he hates it. And he’s not afraid to show it in the midst of polite company, either. So, given the important diplomatic nature of this visit, King Asgore feels that leaving Flowey Underground will be the best course of action—for everyone.”

Sans huffed.

“And he settled on us, G-Man? They don’t have nannies at the castle?”

Papyrus cut in before Gaster could respond. “Because he wants Flowey to have fun, clearly! Nannies aren’t going to let him watch movies until 2am and eat candy until his… petals rot like Papyruses would!”

Gaster laughed. “Fun is okay, but do be careful with him. The King is putting his utmost faith in us, so I’d like to return his son in the same condition he arrived in, alright?”

“Yes, sir, Dad, sir!”

Shortly thereafter, the skeletons’ weekly mandatory Family Meeting officially concluded. Papyrus—his papers stashed firmly under the crook of his arm; (Gaster made sure of that)—dashed off to get his room set up in advance for “maximum sleepover potential.” Sans, on the other hand, did the lazy man’s version of a beeline toward the front door. He was able to get his hand to the doorknob before his father called out to him.

“Son, a word before you go?” Gaster hadn’t moved from the couch. He watched his son with a playful smile—the picture of a man who spent most of his life dedicated to careful observation, and a man who loved every minute of it. “You do realize the opportunity we’ve been given, yes? The Underground’s first and only Golden Flower Monster—and the three of us are about to have the immense privilege of caring for him. I know you prefer to… drift, for lack of a better term, but I can trust you to assist in the coming days, can’t I?”

Sans was quiet for a moment. Then, he turned back to his father and winked. “Yeah. You got it, G-Man. I’ll help keep an eyesocket on him.”

* * *

((Translation because Tumblr doesn’t like the ol’ Dings: “OBSERVATION: WHAT AN AMAZING DAY THIS HAS TURNED OUT TO BE! THAT WAS THE MOST INTEREST SANS HAS SHOWN TOWARDS SOMETHING OTHER THAN EATING AND SLEEPING IN MONTHS! I KNEW MY LITTLE SCIENTIST WAS STILL AROUND, HIDING BENEATH ALL THAT INFURIATING IDLENESS. I THINK I'’LL SEE EVEN MORE OF HIM ONCE OUR MYSTERIOUS LITTLE GUEST ARRIVES. FLOWEY… THE SOLE MEMBER OF HIS SPECIES. HOW FASCINATING! SANS WILL THINK SO, TOO. HE MUST! STILL, FURTHER STUDY WILL BE NEEDED TO DETERMINE THE STRENGTH OF MY HYPOTHESIS.

ALSO, NOTE TO SELF: MAKE EXTRA COPIES OF THE EXERCISE DIAGRAMS. I SAW PAPYRUS SHUCK HIS UNDER SANS’'S BEDROOM DOOR. I THINK HE WANTS THIS TO BE A FAMILY INITIATIVE. TRULY, AN EXCELLENT IDEA!”))

[badyogurt]

Lessons Learned

Girls.

Ladies.

Women.

Whatever you wanna call them, it certainly is true what they say about em.

You can’t live with them, you can’t live without them.

If you want to be with them, you better be ready to get hurt. But with the taste of pain, always comes with it a lesson learned. So here’s some of the lessons I’ve learned throughout the years.

1) This girl taught me that kindness is attractive. It certainly isn’t the case for everyone, but it certainly was for me. She’d share her food during recess time and of course, I didn’t object. For that alone, I developed this huge crush on her. Looking back at it now, she wasn’t exceptionally pretty but man did she put me under her spell. I had a crush on her for, give or take, 5 years. As is always the case, she broke my heart eventually. She got into a relationship with one of those "perfect” type boys. He was much-better looking, more athletic, had more money and was certainly more intelligent. The only thing I could do better than him was play DOTA and that isn’t saying much. So I guess much of my self-esteem problems started with her.

2) This girl taught me that people can and will say things out of convenience. Lactose-intolerant? Better ask for a fucking yogurt! I guess logic goes out the window, when you like someone. Long story short, she didn’t even accept the yogurt. She also had to reject me in front of a classmate. My goodness, I wanted to disappear right then and there. That was one of the more embarrassing moments that I’ve ever had to go through. Well, at least she gave me an idea for a clever name and I’ve been using it ever since.

3) This girl taught me that I have a deep sense of loyalty. I can only think of a few girls who I genuinely regret going after and she’s definitely one of them. She was a treacherous hoe. A little much? Nah, I think she deserves it. I’ve grown to really, really dislike her over the years and I don’t think it’s changing anytime soon. What was I thinking? I’m as clueless as you are. I mean she was only even pretty during the morning. Once afternoon hits, she’d look like a tired hag. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her because she dumped me. Everyone always does, eventually. But if you turn your back on friends, then don’t expect me to welcome you with open arms. Good riddance.

4) She taught me that love between friends can be a dangerous thing. The three of us were best of friends. She liked him. He didn’t. I even pushed for them to be together. But life likes to make fun of you sometimes, so I eventually developed feelings for her. I guess it was some kind of a love triangle. But even then, it wasn’t messy. We were all very close and I’d like to think that we really did enjoy the time spent with each other. But life has to happen, he had to leave. I could still remember that exact moment when she found out. Her face was wet with tears as it kept falling down like heavy rain. I thought it would hurt, seeing her cry her heart out for someone else. Maybe it did, but not because I was jealous. I was more hurt with the fact that him leaving meant that we be won’t complete anymore. I’d rather have us all three together than be with her alone. I’m not trying to sound like a martyr here, but I really did. After he left, we (me and her) just slowly drifted apart. It was probably my fault but she didn’t do anything to prevent it from happening either. We did try to reconnect at the start of our internship year but it just didn’t work. We’re all grown up now and we do still talk once in a while but I don’t think she ever really knew that I liked her like that.  

(Just to clarify, I don’t like this song and neither am I fan of Nicki Minaj. This song just reminds me of her.)

5) She taught me that you miss 100 % of the shots you don’t take or in other words, you’ll never know until you try. It was one of those things where everyone else knew about it. I’m pretty sure she knew about it too. She knew I liked her, but I just didn’t explicitly tell her about it. Could you really blame me? I was a massive torpe back then (probably still is) and I’ve already been dumped by two other girls. Those didn’t exactly help boost my confidence but I did try somewhat.  A Valentine’s day message, chocolate cupcakes and some dedicated songs(exceptionally played by the OT boys, if I might add). But I knew deep down that I had no chance with this girl. Typical of me, already feeling defeated when the war hasn’t been waged yet. I don’t know, maybe there was a chance? At least, that’s what I heard a year later. But it was too late, I eventually found someone else. But sometimes, I do ask myself “oh, what could have been?”

6) She taught me that there is a certain duality when it comes to people. I’m not even sure I like her like that. I find her utterly fascinating but at the same time she scares the shit out of me because I have seen two sides of her. One felt like discovering this hidden, fantasy world that no one else knows about. It was like finding Narnia or Alice’s Wonderland. Then there’s this other side, wherein it felt like being inside a nightmare. It was a god-awful experience and I hated her for it. She’s got a sword for a tongue and her words cut deep but I also won’t be able to forget that night when she showed me that magical worlds do exist. She’s an enigma to me. Sometimes I still find myself dreaming of coming back to Narnia, but that’s the thing about discovering these hidden worlds. It’s often a once in a lifetime experience. 

7) She showed me what love feels like. They say, you’ll never forget your first love. Before I met her, I thought my first love was my High School crush. Boy, was I wrong. That was just a case of strong unreciprocated feelings, so intense that I thought it was love. But she showed me that love is a two way street. Now I understand why people go at such great lengths to do things for the ones they love. I felt like I was on cloud nine. It was too good to be true. It was like dreaming wide awake. But you know what they say about dreams, right? Somehow, someway it has to end. So it did. Of course, it was all my fault. Again. I can blame it on the mental illness, the circumstances, my pride, my laziness or my stupidity but I sure as hell can’t blame her. She did try. She really did. I was just not thinking straight at the time. I couldn’t handle the failure and deal with the pain and it cost me. It cost us. We both had to pay, much to my regret. Now it’s been years and she has since moved on out of my life but whether consciously or unconsciously, she has taught me a lot of lessons throughout the years. Lessons that I will continue to be grateful for up until now and in the future. I guess you could say that she’s a good teacher.

8) She taught me that girls are not only capable of playing games. They like playing it too. “Oh, there’s a ghost in my room. I’m so scared.” AHAHAHAHA!! Shit, sorry I just had to laugh. It’s okay, I’ll play along. I haven’t mentioned it yet but after all the failures that I’ve had with girls, I learned this very important lesson. Girls like the attention. This much is true when it came to her and probably every other girl out there too. But I don’t have a habit of being used. Sometimes I do feel some guilt after going “Casper” on her. But nah, she probably had it coming. I disappeared the hell out of there before she could even hurt me. Turns out, I was right.

PS: At least, she opened my taste buds to a wonderful thing called apple juice. My favorite type of fruit juice!

9) Didn’t I just say that I don’t have a habit of being used. Well shit, I guess I was wrong. If there was once a girl who made me feel what love should feel like, this girl made me feel what love shouldn’t feel like. Maybe love is too strong of a word. I guess it is because that certainly wasn’t love. Love should feel warm and fuzzy, a “butterflies in your stomach” kind of feeling. You shouldn’t feel pressured and it shouldn’t feel taxing. Love should feel effortless. But when it came to her, it felt like a chore. It felt so unfulfilling and what’s worse is I still went along with it. But I do have to thank her for introducing me to Filipino Indie Films. I used to think that the local indie movie scene was too inaccessible. That it was impractical or not worth it at all to go and watch those films . But as it turns out, it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. You just need to give some of your time, money and effort and you’ll get to watch a lot of great films. Like every other film out there, they can be hit or miss. But I’ve had more hits than misses when it comes to the local indie movie scene, some of which were really, really impressive hits. Some of the best films I’ve seen all year can be considered as indie films. It turns out, it wasn’t all heartbreak and unreciprocated effort. I guess I do have to thank her for this. Well that’s life, you just have to take the good with the bad. 

Now I may be a slow learner, but I do learn and I guess you could say this is proof. 

________________________________________________________________

Wew! Haven’t written something personal like that in ages! It feels good and I hope I can do it again soon. I was scared I’ve lost touch on how to write about my thoughts and feelings. Well I am happy to write anything, whether it’s about my personal life or about films. This Tumblr has been mostly a reblog bot lately and I am hoping to change that. I’m planning to write something film-related next, hope I can push through with it!

Toodles!