#simon would you still love me if i was a mean old worm

[the-palelady]

do u write your fics based off of anyone? maybe a cod oc 👀👀👀

kind of? i had/have a cod oc i guess you could say. for my personal writings i use her. things i probably will never post. but other than that i don’t really use her for anything.

most of my writings are reader inserts, but when i write about reader their personality is somewhat based on the topic i’m writing about. occasionally i’ll incorporate parts of myself within it. such as my love for strawberries lmao or how short and shy i am. i enjoy reading as well so sometimes i’ll make them a bookworm. ultimately i just make them a fucking nerd.

reader is usually soft and sweet tho which i am not lol

[teddy-bear-baby]

Their Deadly Flower - Eight

(A/n: Hello my Lovelies. I hope you enjoy this part!!)

Pairings: Ghost X GN!Reader, König X GN!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst

Prolog - One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Here - Nine

     Things hadn’t gone as planned on your walk, not that the change was a bad thing. You’d wound up talking for hours about various things. After you’d finished the long forest trail, you both decided to just keep walking and talking. König had led you down the road from the base to the local pub where you both grabbed a bite to eat. It was a bit odd to watch his food disappear under his hood, but you enjoyed his company all the same. After dinner, you decided to make a little game out of your conversation; you’d tell him something about yourself and he’d have to respond with something about himself, and vice versa. By the time the sun had set, you’d both been aimlessly wandering the streets, not wanting to end the conversation. 

     A small sigh falls from your lips as you stare at the entrance of the base. You’d just finished explaining to König how you’d ended up with Task Force 141. “So, yeah.” You nod lightly at him as he holds the base's front door open for you. “I mean, I suppose it isn’t all bad. I’m here with you and all the others who care about me.” A smile graces your lips as you slip past him through the door. “Though I wish some of them would be a little less guarded.” 

     König hums low in his chest as you both walk toward the small kitchen. You’d run out of water about an hour ago and desperately needed to hydrate. “I assume you mean the lieutenant?” 

     “Yes, I mean Ghost.” You’d told König everything that had happened between you and your lieutenant. König had seemed a little put off to say the least. He’d made a comment about never treating you like that, which had you thinking about what a relationship with him would be like. He was so sweet and caring, not to mention how hilariously awful his sense of humor was. You could very easily imagine going to bed with König by your side every night. He was nothing like Simon, that’s for sure.

     You sigh, coming to a stop outside the kitchen, turning to fully face König. “It’s ok, he’s an adult. He’ll do as he pleases.” König‘s eyes grow dark as he stares past you through the kitchen doorway. “Are- Are you okay, König?”  You turn and see what he’s looking at. Behind you, Simon sits in one of the old kitchen chairs with Rain in his lap. You watch in horror as he allows the vial woman to trace her hands over his body. Your own body goes rigid as she leans in, kissing the exposed skin just below the edge of his mask.

     Hot angry tears fall down your cheeks as you watch the scene unfold. You mentally scold yourself for crying, you weren’t some love-sick child. You’re an adult, no matter how Simon made you feel, but it was painful nonetheless. It hurt to watch the man you’d fallen for allow someone else to be with him in such an intimate way. 

     You clap your hand over your mouth as you feel a sob threatening to burst from your throat. You needed to move, to look away, something. But your body betrayed you, feet stuck to the floor like they were dried in cement. Your chest aches as the reality of the situation sets in. Not only had she taken your spot on the team, but she was worming her way into your place with Simon.

     König’s gentle voice quietly sounded from behind you. “Liebe, come with me.” You feel him tugging lightly on your arm, attempting to unglue you from your spot. “Bitte, I can’t stand seeing you hurt.” His pulling becomes a bit harsher causing you to stumble back into his broad chest. “Maus.” His voice is full of desperation as he slowly drags you back away from the door.

     Your eyes are still glued to Ghost as he allows Rain to keep touching him. You don’t fight König as he keeps pulling you. Your hand falls from your mouth and the sob you’d been holding bursts from your lips. The sudden jolt of air through your chest lights a fiery pain in your shoulder. Ghost’s eyes snap up to yours as you pull your good arm from König’s grasp. You clutch your shoulder, watching as Ghost removes Rain from himself, nearly pushing her to the floor. The sound of his thundering footsteps echoes through the small hallway as he jogs toward you.

     You feel panic setting in as your senses become overwhelmed. Hurt from what you’d seen fills your gut. Embarrassment sends heat flooding through your neck and face at how you’d let both König and Ghost see you so emotional. Pain shoots through your shoulder with every sob that escapes you. The sheer amount of overstimulation sends you into fight or flight. While your body would love to choose fight, your mind makes the logical choice to flee. 

     You gasp through your pain and tears as you speed down the hall away from Ghost, pushing past König who’d tried to reach out for you. You don’t let him. You can’t. Your mind is reeling at everything that just happened as your legs continue carrying you through the base. You don’t miss their fading calls for you. Neither had made a move to follow you, probably figuring it best not to push you any further. 

~~~~~

     “Rain told me you had a bit of a breakdown last night.” Laswell’s voice reverberates through the small office, echoing through your ears as you recall the events of the night previous. “Would you like to talk about it?” There’s genuine care in her voice.

     The answer was no. You didn’t want to tell her how you’d fallen for your lieutenant. You didn’t want to speak about how he’d denied you and ignored you. You couldn’t fathom speaking out loud how hurt you were when you found him mingling with Rain. You didn’t even want to be here talking to her, but you had received direct orders and were now forced to have this meeting with her. What if she asked about König? What would you tell her? Would you tell her that you’d practically gone on a date with him? Fuck, what a mess.

     “Iris?” Laswell waves her hand in front of your face, pulling you from your jumbled thoughts. “Look, I won’t make you tell me, but if I can't resolve this myself I’ll have to send you for a psych eval. Rain said it was pretty bad, that you ran off in tears and nearly knocked someone over.” 

     You nod slowly, you saw that coming a mile away. Though you knew Rain was blowing the whole thing out of proportion you still feared being sent off to some mental hospital. “Yeah… Okay.” A sigh leaves you as you rub your hands over your face. “What do you need me to tell you?” You catch a hint of amusement on her face.

     Her lips move into a grin as she shakes her head. “The truth would be nice.”

     “Oh god.” You throw your head back, staring at the ceiling for a moment in dismay. “The truth?”

     “That’s what I said.”

     Slowly, you bring your eyes back to meet hers. If she really wanted the truth you’d give it to her. There was no way you’d pass a psych eval right now. “I made a mess and I’m not sure how to fix it.” You watch as she nods, encouraging you to go on. “You want details?” Another nod. You couldn’t blame her, it's only human nature to be curious. “Where do I start? Let’s start with this stupid crush, I feel like a fucking ninth-grader. I can’t keep him out of my head. Everything about him makes me feel weak.” You groan at your own words as she stares at you, brows knitted together with intrigue. “I let it slip too. For years I held my composure around him, but something about seeing him again after so long.” Your head shakes a little, embarrassment embedding itself in your chest. You can tell from the look in her eyes she already knows who you're talking about. “Something about the compassion he showed when I was hurt, the way he looked at me, I don’t know.”

     Laswell is silent for a moment, pondering your words. “So, is that what pushed you to have a full breakdown?” One of her brows quirks up, her gaze floating around your face as she waits for your answer.

     You snicker at her question. “Oh, god no. I loved that feeling, being so open with him. It was nice.” A sad smile crosses your lips as you recall how playful he’d been that night. He had been open even if he was still guarding himself. He let his mask slip and showed you a part of him that made your heart soar. Maybe you’d pushed him too far. Maybe you were moving too fast and pushed him away by mistake. 

     “Loved? Past tense? Why?” At this point, she was less interested in your mental state than she was the details of your tragic love life.

     You let out a hum, deciding you’d indulge her a little bit. Even though you’d never been that close with Laswell personally, you trusted her to keep this conversation confidential. “He denied my feelings. I laid myself bare for him, but he decided it would complicate things too much.” Laswell leaned her chin on her clasped hands, enthralled by your words. “Sadly, he only decided this after giving me the best kiss of my fucking life.” You realize suddenly that you feel much better talking about it with her. 

     Laswell’s lips purse as she nods slowly. “Go on.”

     “Look,” You lean forward in the armchair. “At this point, I’m telling you this as a friend. I’d like it if this whole conversation was off the books.” You nearly burst out laughing as she tosses her notepad behind her chair. “Alright.” You explain to her the whole situation. How you’d slowly fallen for Simon and how you were quickly falling for another man, who you wouldn’t name. The way Simon had ignored you for nearly two weeks after kissing you and seeing you half naked. All the conflicting feelings you’d had about Rain and the fact that she seemed to have some sort of vendetta. “And that brings us to last night when I caught Rain feeling up Ghost in the kitchen.”

     Laswell hums, taking in everything you’d told her. “So, off the books of course, who is this other man?” 

     “I-” You huff at the question. While you didn’t think König would care if you spoke of him directly, you weren’t sure you were ready to let that slip just yet. He had been pretty open about everything yesterday. He’d walked with his head held high, you clinging to his arm. He’d pulled you into his body not caring if anyone saw. You blush a bit as you shift your eyes to look past Laswell. Your voice comes out in a defeated whisper as you finally give her your answer. “König.”

~~~~~

     Your talk with Laswell last week inspired some sort of friendship between you. You made it a point to visit her daily, just to chat or even sit in comfortable silence while you sorted through paperwork together. True to her word there were no documents of the chats you’d have. No one seemed to have heard anything of your situation and Laswell had been keeping an eye on Rain for you. She’d had a talk with her, on the books, about inappropriate conduct. 

     The talk seemed to do nothing to dissuade her from clinging to Ghost, though he seemed a hell of a lot less interested. You’d seen him pushing her away at dinner from your seat next to König. You didn’t have the willpower to sit with your team while Rain was around. You could handle the awkward silence and side-eyes from Ghost, that wasn’t an issue. You feared, however, that you might lash out if Rain made one more stupid comment. 

     Soap and Gaz hadn’t taken well to Rain either. Gone were the stupid little jokes and long talks at mealtime. They’d opted instead to quietly scarf down their meals before making a break for the rec room where you’d meet up with them to joke and mess around. More often than not, König would follow behind you, occasionally throwing out his own jokes. It made your heart flutter seeing him slowly open up to your two best friends. You only wished you could get Simon to open up the way König had.

     Currently, the four of you are sitting in a circle telling each other the worst jokes and pick-up lines you’ve ever heard. 

     Soap perks up a bit and turns to you. “If you were a Transformer… you’d be Optimus Fine.” His normal Scottish lilt was replaced with an awful American one instead. It sounded absolutely absurd.

     An abrupt laugh tears from your throat causing the water you’d been drinking to spray from your lips. Your eyes begin to water as you choke on the remaining liquid in your mouth. “I’m so sorry, König.” Your heart melts at the small laugh he lets out as he brushes his hand over his wet T-shirt.

     “It’s just water, Schatz.” König's eyes are soft as he glances at you and continues wiping at the water. 

     “Soap, Gaz, you’re needed in Price’s office.” Rain’s voice rings through the rec room causing an odd tension to settle in the group. As quickly as she came, she leaves.

     You sigh in discontent, you were honestly getting tired of sitting around all the time. Your body craved being back on the field. Your legs itched to run, your fingers tingle at the thought of holding your gear again. “See you guys later then.” You let your eyes fall to the floor, listening to the their ‘goodbye’s as they exited the room.

     “Are you alright, Maus?”

     You’re not sure how to answer that. Sure, you were fine physically, your shoulder was healing fine and the pain had dwindled to mild discomfort. Mentally though, you weren’t sure how to feel. “I’m not sure.” You glance at König through your lashes. 

     “Liebe,” He grips your chin gently, pulling your face to his. “It’s just me, you can talk to me.” His eyes search yours for a moment. For what, you’re not sure. 

     Your breath hitches as you take in how close you both were. Mere inches between your faces, legs touching as he held your face in his hand. Your fingers twitch in your lap, your mind screaming at you to touch him. “König?” Your voice shakes, breathing becoming ragged as you continue to stare into his eyes. Your whole body feels like it's on fire, moving on its own as you climb into his lap. The familiar ache of arousal creeps in, but it feels different this time. It feels less needy, it’s softer. Your body yearns for this man to touch it.

     You can’t think straight, every rational thought leaving you as König places his hands on your hips. “Iris,” His eyes grow wide in the holes of his mask as they scan your form. 

    A new wave of heat pulses through you at his desperate tone. Your mouth hangs slightly open while your hands move to gently grasp the bottom of his hood. “C-can I..?” Breathing is steadily becoming harder as you watch König blown-out pupils bore into you. You swallow hard fighting the urge to grind yourself against him. 

     König’s hands begin sliding up your sides as he shifts beneath you. A small groan escapes him as his growing tent brushes lightly against your center. “Scheiße.” His eyes squeeze shut as he takes a deep breath. “Yes.” Slowly opening his eyes,  he brings his hand up to lift the edge of his hood, allowing you access to his lips.

     The whole situation feels surreal. Your body is buzzing, that same electric feeling from before coming back stronger. You lean in slowly, giving him time to change his mind. You don’t want to push him further than he’s willing to go. To your surprise, he’s the one who closes the rest of the distance between you. Crashing your lips together in a searing kiss. It feels so right, all of your thoughts melt away leaving only the feeling of König’s lips on yours. 

~~~~~

     Your thoughts kept going back to the feeling of König’s hands leaving a trail of ice on your burning skin as they freely roamed your body. The way your bodies moved in sync, grinding into each other on the rec room couch. Every touch left you wanting more, even after you’d finished your ministrations on each other you couldn’t bring yourselves to part. You stayed there holding each other for nearly an hour before you finally decided to head for a shower.

     The water works quickly cooling your heated skin as you take care of the ache between your legs. You wished König was the one touching you like this, but he had been hesitant to take it that far. You respected that, you wouldn’t push him for anything he wasn’t ready for. That wouldn’t stop you from imagining him taking you in every way possible while you touched yourself. 

     You shudder as the feeling of your end races headlong toward you. Then your mind decides to throw you a curveball. Simon’s form joining you and König in your steamy visions. The mere thought of both of them having you at once sends you careening over the edges of bliss as you collapse to the cold tile floor of the shower.

     What a fucking mess you’d created.

(Don't forget to ask about joining the taglist. @josieguts @strangepuppynightmare @theredviolets @poohkie90 @giulia2372 @fillechatoyante @buckysjuicyplums )

[caeruvotum]

I don't know if anyone has said this before but the song Monster from Adventure Time: Distant Lands - Obsidian (King Princess ver.) is such a GhoastSoap/SoapGhost song ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Long Ramble Below

The line:

"You're the pink in my cheeks

And I'm scared cause that means

I'm a little bit soft"

Definitely refers to Ghost realizing that he has feelings towards his Sergeant and he's scared that he's feeling vulnerable and not this tough and emotionally constipated military man.

"So don't beat yourself up, Bonnie

It wasn't just the sun I was hiding from

We were messed up kids who taught ourselves how to live

So scared that I'm not good enough"

The first line can refer to Soap reassuring that it's ok to feel what he's feeling and to not be so harsh on himself just because Ghost is getting soft. The rest of the lines is stating how Ghost has been hiding and keeping a lot of secrets in him and how bad of a childhood he got and that Ghost is convinced that he's not good enough for Soap.

Then,

"I've always felt like a monster

Long before I was bit

Only seen as a monster

Just say I'm used to it

And I grew tough 'cause love had only hurt me back

But loving you's a good problem to have

And I'm used to that

But I could get used to this"

This one is very obvious due to the fact that I think Ghost has always seen himself as this cold heartless killer and how his reputation has made many people scared of him that he has gotten use to it. He is used to fights, he is used to blood and violence and he is used (and maybe even convinced) that physical touch for him is only meant to hurt and that if he even tried to open up, someone will betray/hurt him and that's definitely a problem not only for him but for everyone one as well.

But it's not like that for Soap Johnny. Johnny has wormed his way into Ghost's cold heart and made itself home. He made Ghost feel like Simon again. And Ghost can't have that. He can't have Simon interfering with Ghost. And that's definitely a problem. And maybe after a while, Ghost didn't mind having that problem. Maybe he liked being Simon again. And maybe, just maybe, he could get use to that.

"For the record, I stole your sweater

'Cause I just wanted you close to me

I thought shaky knees only meant I was weak

Just a little too soft"

Maybe Ghost and Soap started to become closer, closer than Lieutenant and Sergeant, closer than allies, closer than friends. Lovers one would say. Maybe they become Simon and Johnny together. And that everytime Simon is near Johnny he would get weak in the knees but not from fear and that confuses him. Johnny's meer presence was so mesmerizing and comforting that it made Ghost's knees shake from how much he adored his Johnny. And Soap definitely steals Ghost's sweater. Just to have a part of Ghost Simon with him.

Now the Outro part of the song for me can be interpreted two ways:

"And we'll never grow old together

'Cause you'll never grow old to me

You're the pink in my cheeks and I love

That it means I'm a little bit soft

You're the pink in my cheeks and I love

That it means I'm a little bit soft"

Now, I gotta be honest here, I love angst so with the lines "And we'll never grow old together 'cause you'll never grow old to me" can definitely mean that one of them died. Most probably in battle, maybe protecting the other. And with their other half gone, died a young age, frozen at the age of their death never to grow old, the other half can never grow old together. Maybe the one who lives just has this immense love for the other that it never wavers. It never shrivels up and die. Still fresh and new but with this boiling rage and anguish that will never be extinguished.

BUT, as much as I love Angst, I love happy endings more:

The second one is that they get to retire and grow old and happy and married together. Yes, they are physically old, but they're love for eachother never wavered. It's still as young and carefree as it was when they were Ghost and Soap. But now they're only Simon and Johnny because they are no longer haunted by the horrors and threats of death when they where in the Military. Now they can live happy in they're own home.

Simon is definitely no longer Ghost and he's happy that he can get to be open and honest, vulnerable and in love with his Johnny. And loves that Johnny always makes him feel loved.

And he's definitely gone soft, and he's definitely gotten used to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[emjiroki]

I love your theme by the way and the header is so cute KJSDNgjer also I copied and pasted the whole list then erased some lmaooo so you have a bit to answer but I hope you don't mind <3

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I definitely don't mind!!! (Thank you for the compliment on my theme btw! I just LOVE valentines day and all it's pretty colors 🥰)

I'll put this under a cut so it doesn't get too long 💕

😅- well honestly I deleted my cringest story about a year ago and it is now archived somewhere deep in my Google docs. It was a Hawks x Reader x Endeavor fic that was three parts. The title was cringe and the whole thing just wasn't planned out very well

🦅- I try my best to outline! Trying to have some organization helps me keep things in line but most of the time the characters and scenes have a mind of their own, I'm just along for the ride.

🤗- advice I would give would be don't limit yourself! Write whatever you want and don't put yourself in a box. Writing something you enjoy truly is key to having a successful story because you put your all into it. And it's not all numbers, just because something you wrote and posted didn't get a lot of likes does not mean it wasn't good! Don't be discouraged!

💞- oh wow I have so many lol Shoto, Mikey, Enji, AngelDevil and Aki and lots and lots more. (Um also Simon "Ghost" Riley from COD but I don't talk about him that often)

😍- Favorite Character to write is probably Enji. I got labeled as a top Enji writer pretty quickly (and unexpectedly) and he's just fallen into the muse category. I feel alot of freedom writing his character and hopefully don't make him to ooc lol

🤲- Hmmmmm well I guess I could.... Knight Enji WIP it is

 Enji had a direct view of the door to the chapel from where he stood posted to the King's left beside the window, and he thinks he might have been the first to see you in the doorway. It was suddenly very hot underneath his heavy armor and he was thankful that he didn’t need to wear the helmet because he might have fainted. Was that his heart hammering behind his eyes, through his fingers tips, and toes? He was sure he died and somehow made it to heaven, broke down the pearly gate, and clawed his way through the clouds to get a glimpse of the angels as you walked through the held-open doors and seemed to suck the air from the room. The closer you got to the alter the more dry his mouth grew, the more his big hands shook, the more his stomach knotted. The stained glass of the church windows glimmered against your skin. Red, Blue, Green, He traced your features in every color, etching your beauty into his memory as a keepsake forever. He would crave it into his flesh if he could, down to the bone so after he’s dead and gone even the worms would know his devotion.

🤯- Genre I struggle with is any sort of mystery. I really don't know why I can't think of good plot twists to save my life. I usually have to talk out my plots with my husband

💔- an old Levi fic I wrote that I never released and is still archived in my docs. It's bittersweet and I just love him so much it hurts (also Oni's Heart pt 3 after readers been taken and Enji is depressed for a bit. Sad.)

🤭- em writes ✍️ is my go to tag for my fics so I can organize and em talks 👄 is my most often used I think

🥰- I LOVE reader interaction!!!! It makes me so happy! And YES PLEASE ASK ME THINGS! I'm always open to questions! And love discussing characters and plots and stuff! MY INBOX IS ALWAYS OPEN 💕

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

My last post on the situation that happened yesterday

I will say outright on my side my viewpoint

When I found Diisdoodles it was via Tik Tok, I followed them for a while and then they started a Discord which I decided to join,we got talking and I shared with them the Borg Siblings

No matter how much they try to claim they did certain things, I had already created these characters and I have the notes to prove that, these guys were my creations that I trusted with them and if they didn't understand that these were already Orignal Characters of my own, I'm sorry you only created the Aus and world around them

I just was lending you my characters that I had created. I already knew their personalities, I just hadn't figured out their physicalities or very fine details of their histories, and we've all seen my old art I didn't feel comfortable drawing them because I didn't feel like I could properly portray them you can see this with Violet I didn't picture her as skinny I pictured her as heavier set and I had to learn how to draw that.

Honestly I really hope they get a knock of reality on the equal comment because I've seen so many Creators who don't see their crew as equal get torn down hard, a team is meant to be equal you aren't above those who are helping you create your worlds when a Creator sees their team as equal thats when magic happens,

I go in with the mindset I may have created these guys but if you want to collaborate I am more than willing to do so just give me the credit I'm earned and treat me like a creative partner,

I've always had a passion for character design, had a passion for creating original characters that really don't have anywhere to go and breathing life into them.

I am actually creating a Raeda kid she's probably not going to be in anything but it's just fun to think of what a child of theirs would look like that's why I love creating these original characters, the possibilities of stories they could tell.

Another thing that they said that bothered me I never revoked my characters from them that is a lie. I don't know if they're trying to cover up their tracks or something but I never and I can even go back and get the conversations I never removed that permission the only time I said something was after the fact they created their group.

They are the ones who decided to remove my characters in the end. Which actually caused a little bit of hurt because I have their original message here, and they said this on Simone,

Guess a happy ending means to them getting erased from existence. A character I worked so hard to make getting erased,

I guess I'm not supposed to be upset about that even though I've been attached to these characters for years and yes if this somehow gets back to them or not I still have the DM up I can go get plenty more,

Because you know what I learn I calmed down and I go back and read instead of throwing it away and you know what

I guess this moment between us three never mattered to you, like it did me.

Because to me agreeing to meet someone offline actually physically flying out to be able to see not only me but another Creator called though.she.be.little to go to a convention, a small town Lego convention that means your friends that you are equals and I don't care if you get angry at me posting that picture

I even still have the ticket from that day

You're the one that wormed your way in. I still remember being on the voice chat when we mentioned we were going to meet up, and you automatically invited yourself. I should have said no, but you know what the prospect of meeting another friend made me blind, so thank you for teaching me that lesson of boundaries,

Again I guess I really didn't know you, Diisdoodles. And that hurts the most especially after all we did but like people keep telling me I guess I don't have a reason to be upset.

But from my viewpoint I definitely do have a reason I have several reasons.

[trensu]

Jon's Creeping Terror Fun Fact Corner!

You know how Cecil has his Fun Fact Science Corner segment on his radio show? Well, Jon has his own show produced by The Magnus Studio. It's an educational kids show all about the Entities of Fear!! It's a very specific kind of kids show. You know the ones. Those kids shows that children are absolutely mad for but any adult in their vicinity is left deeply unsettled by them? Yep. On the surface, the show seems fine but if any adult dwells on the content for more than five minutes, they are left feeling very very unnerved, especially since the host, one Jonathan Sims, seems more than a little unhinged half the time.

The show is so popular it gets almost 15 whole episodes! (It gets cancelled at 14 bc at that point it had received far too many retrospective complaints from parents to continue any further). Sometimes, the episodes even have special guests!! Although it got cancelled, you can obviously still find it on the internet if you know where to look. There's even compilations of all the show's best Unhinged moments.

--

The Vast Episode

Jon: Today's episode is about the Vast! And to tell us more about it we have Simon Fairchild visiting us. Kids, if you ever see this man in person, please run very far in the opposite direction.

Simon: Thank you for that warm introduction, Jon. Now children, who here likes ROLLER COASTERS?

Jon: And that's it for our special guest [proceeds to literally kick an old man until he's off screen] Do not trust this man and please be careful when going on roller coasters in the future.

--

The Lonely Episode

Jon, reading from the teleprompter: We have an expert of the Lonely with us, Mr. Peter Lu--what? No!! Why's he here? Get him off my set! What do you mean no? I don't care how much funding he gives the studio!! He tried to take Martin away!

[scene cuts off and starts back up with Martin sitting next to Jon, looking particularly sweet and cuddly in a knitted jumper]

Jon: Here we have m-my Martin, I-I mean my ASSISTANT Martin Blackwood. Say hi to Mr. Blackwood, children.

[Jon is a twitchy mess and cannot even look at Martin's direction. Martin looks flushed]

Martin: Er, yes, h-hello.

Jon: Martin has experience [this is hissed with all the venom he can muster] with the Lonely. He's going to teach us the best way to avoid that evil, conniving bast--

Martin, hastily cuts in: Yes, well! Kids, who do you have in your life that you love? It can be anyone! Your siblings, your pets, your friends! Anyone at all!

[at the edge of the set, just barely visible, Peter can be seen crammed into a cage gleefully guarded by Daisy]

(it's during this episode Jon finds out that he's not allowed to use naughty words on the show. All the stuff with the murder and the skinning and the worms and such is fine! Just no cussing. Jon is befuddled and aghast. This is why Hopworth was not allowed as a guest; he's a very swear-y man)

--

The Corruption Episode

[Jon is seen clutching a jar of ashes throughout the entire episode with absolutely no explanation as to what it is or why it's there]

Jon, gesturing manically: and that's why it's important to see a doctor when you're sick and have an exterminator on speed dial.

[Martin comes onto the scene with a worried look on his face. The screen goes to black for a moment, then reappears with Jon still clutching his jar but looking significantly calmer. He smiles at the camera and it almost looks normal]

Jon: To finish the episode, can you demonstrate the proper handwashing technique we taught you at the start? Be sure to tell your parents what you've learned about infection control and have them show you where the CO2 is kept in your home!

--

The Hunt Episode

Jon, earnestly happy: This is my best friend Daisy! She's going to help us learn about the Hunt. She's one of the bravest people I know.

[Daisy turns away to hide a shy smile before clearing her throat and starting in on a rehearsed lecture. The episode ends with her and Jon making the children repeat the "don't listen to the blood, listen to the quiet" mantra and also "all cops are bastards."]

(Basira, in post production: ...yeah, that's fair.)

--

The Flesh Episode

Parents are horrified when they hear their children singing "you are what you eat, meat is meat!" whenever they play after that episode airs.

(Martin: Just to be clear, we're encouraging cannibalism??

Jon: no! ...maybe? i don't know, Martin, they told me it tested well with the focus group children

Martin: yes, okay, but WHY did you come up with that jingle?

Jon: Don't look at me like that, I'm not crazy, Martin! I wouldn't just eat a person. But, well, if someone asked me to eat them like, after they died, I wouldn't necessarily say no...?

This conversation was recorded and leaked somehow. And that's how Actual Cannibal Jon Sims became a trending meme. He has to do a PR statement confirming that he "has never knowingly eaten a person" and that that was "a completely hypothetical discussion." This convinces as many people as you think it would.)

--

The Stranger Episode

Nikola: I don't much like children. Not enough skin on them to do anything really fun.

Jon: Why are you--how did you even get in?? S-Security! Someone come get her out of--

Nikola: oh, but I have information for the little ones! [she pulls out a basket of high-end skincare products and looks directly into the camera with her featureless face] These are the lotions that are best for Archivist flesh but I'm sure they work for the kiddies as well! You all want to grow up to have lots of beautiful skin don't you? Here, let me show you how to use them! [attempt to lotion Jon]

Jon: [flinches away] Security! O-or Daisy. DAISY!

[growling is heard and we get a flash of a wolfish Daisy body-slamming Nikola to the ground. The rest of the episode has Tim shoving Jon off screen and going on a rant about circuses and how to best explode them. This becomes one of their most popular episode amongst the children]

--

Breekon and Hope show up occasionally in the background of various episodes and become something like an Easter egg for fans of the show.

Anyway, I love the idea of kids adoring socially awkward, neurotic mess of a man Jonathan Sims. Jon is completely confounded by his popularity but also, he's glad of it bc that means the children will be more prepared if they ever encounter any of the Entities (most parents think it's all fiction, except for the ones who've had Encounters with one of the entities; Jon ends up with a sort of underground cult following comprised of survivors of fear encounters)

I blame @lemonisinplay (and Jonny Sims) for the entirety of this post, tbh. She came up with the name and half the stuff here XD

[flimflamfranky]

Please show me your AUs

*slams down the heavy tome* i hope you are ready for the can of worms you’ve unleashed. also, i’m sorry for any hopes i get and subsequently dash.

so, in no particular order, we have: - klabaturerman franky. now this one i have done things for but i still wanna. do more. like, him interacting with the merry, and the crew learning what he is, that sort of things. - related to this, is a more general sea spirit/fae franky au, just cuz i like fae stuff. i do have some art ideas for this, i just. haven’t done any of them yet. - supernatural frobrobin au, where franky is a (recently turned) werewolf, robin is a vampire, brook is…brook, and they’re all trapped in a magic mansion by some curse. and it’s just them growing close and bonding and trying to break free. also, ghibli vibes. - speaking of ghibli…howl’s moving castle au. featuring franky as sophie with a curse that turns him into a perceptually broken robot, and robin as howl, but with her canon backstory with the government. also has luffy as calcifer, usopp as merkel, brook as turnip head, and nami/crocodile as a weird split version of the witch of the waste (with croc as the villain and nami as the redeemed version). - a pacific rim au, expect it takes place in a post-apoc version where the kaiji have basically won. starts with luffy, usopp, and chopper finding an abandoned jaeger and decided to pilot it. not sure abt the plot on this one, but it does have franky as a disillusioned former jaeger pilot/engineer. - my franky/blueno au, which is being run by vibes and little else. pretty canon-compliant, but with blueno and franky becoming friends (and possibly more) and then dramatically falling out after the reveal. i initially described it as enemies to lovers, but really, it's lovers to enemies. no happy ends here, boys. - several, count ‘em, SEVERAL franky/rosi aus, cuz i got way to into them and had a lot of ideas and then. never did anything with them - main one is them having a meet cute in water 7, before rosi goes undercover with doffy and before the whole sea train thing happens (rosi’s about 24yo, franky’s 21). it’s basically just them bonding and being cute before going their separate ways. - the other one is a sprawling splitting mess of an au that has the two meet as kids on the streets and becoming fast friends. then they get found by sengoku  and becoming marines, with rosi training with sengoku and franky becoming vegapunk’s protege. I had one idea where they were close to saul, and after the arrest of olivia became disillusioned with the marines and helped her escape, and then joining her try to save ohara. another branch is rosi still going undercover with doffy, but with franky in tow, and that whole she-bang happening, but with franky, rosi, and law all escaping alive. plus a bunch of minor plot threads that i'm forgetting. again, it's a mess. - various frobrobin aus set in the early-mid 19th century (20s-50s mostly) with mobs, romance and political intrigue. - a roleswap au that i have bits and pieces of written, i’ve just never finished it. unfortunately doesn’t have jinbe in it cuz he’s just too hard to swap with, and i started this before he joined. - i’ve written a summary of this before, but my rouge adopts franky au that ultimately leads to franky being a big bro to asl. - a disney's beauty and the beast au, where robin is the “beast” (cursed child who has been outcast from society and became a monster to survive with a flower motif) and franky is the “beauty” aka belle (intelligence child of an eccentric inventor whose ostracized by the town and willing to sacrifice himself to save another). has lucci as an altered gaston and the straw hats (+ others) as various cursed castle residents. - an arc style idea (not really sure if it counts as an au) where franky gets kidnapped and experimented on by the government. basically my whumptober comic, but in long-fic form. - pokemon aus! i’m mostly entertaining these two: - one piece but with pokemon, and how the straw hats met their various pokemon partners. - and a pmd au with the straw hats as the pmd starters (this one is a drawing, so i might actually finish it) - and i do wanna do something with pokemon gijinka, i just

haven’t given it much thought. - an au where law convinces franky to join his crew bc doffy has been trying to muscle in on water 7 and law is basically like, "we both hate this guy, let's team up". this one is very shaky, but I do still love the idea. - a subnautica au? hear me out. it has the straw hats as space pirates that infiltrate the aurora right before it gets shot down, and they end up trapped on the alien planet. they get split into three main groups: franky, luffy, usopp / robin, chopper, jinbe, sanji / zoro, nami, brook. and they all basically try to survive and find the others in their own ways.

- an au where the crew stops at a weird marriage theme island and franky and brook get married by accident. which is a problem cuz this marriage is ~magic~ and psychically bonds them together. so the crew has to figure out how to undo it. also features frobrobin and zosopp. - a cookie run crossover au, with the straw hats as cookies. pretty basic, expect i, like with most things, went overboard and then never finished it. - and some zosopp aus! - a superhero actor au, where usopp is a new actor playing sogeking in a new kids show and zoro is the main villain, and they fall in love. - an au where usopp is a tengu that guards a small forest (but mostly plays harmless pranks) and zoro who is a lost woodsman, and they become close and fall in love. And also maybe save the forest from a rich jerk along the way. - a gurren lagann crossover au, where usopp is simon and franky is kamina, with all the angst that implies. i really like this concept, but I haven’t actually finished gurren lagann, so… - a leverage au, where the straw hats are a band of thieves that help people out. basically taking canon and sticking in a thief/modern au. - you know those one piece rewrite aus? i have one of those, surprise, surprise. starts with gin joining the straw hats with sanji and quickly branching off from there. other big changes include: - jinbe getting introduced super early and helping the straw hats with arlong, and then becoming an ally until he later joins - brook getting swept back to the beginning of the grand-line and meets the straw hats when they first arrive. gets to reunite with laboon before decideding to join the straw hats to finish his old crew’s journey. - a delay in loguetown means that croc succeeds in taking over albasta and the straws hats help vivi overthrow him (with robin working with cobra in the background to betray croc); ends with vivi joining the straw hats bc she publicly allied with pirates - franky running from water 7 with the blueprints and ends up working for doflamingo. He gets sent to check in on croc (and search for robin) after he takes over alabasta and ends up kicking it with the straw hats and eventually deciding to betray doffy and join them - there’s like. a lot more, but if I do ever end up writing it I don’t wanna spoil all of it. - but im probably not, cuz this would be looooooong. *lets out a deep breath* and that’s about it. and if anyone wants to steal any of these ideas, please do, i would love you forever.

[spoondrifts]

long post ahead I'm sorry-

crack au where Jonah Magnus is a good guy but everything keeps going wrong and he spends all of his time running around trying to stop his employees from diving headfirst into their Fuck Up™ of the week

in this au Jonah is almost entirely incompetent but he's got the exasperated parent thing down enough to make up for his lack of braincells

he's also at least 7% dumber than he is in canon

s1 Jon: please call pest control there are so many worms

s1 Elias: I already did

Jon: and??

Elias: they ate them

Jon: the worms?

Elias: the pest control guys. the worms ate them

Elias spends the entirety of season 2 desperately trying to convince Jon that none of them killed Gertrude (in this au Gertrude just had a stroke or something in the tunnels). Elias stops Jon from destroying the table but a week later something heavy falls on it and the NotThem escapes anyway. Elias bashes in Leitner's head with a pipe after mistaking him for the monster and Jon gets framed.

now Elias has to convince this hunter that Jon is innocent while Jon runs around and harasses various fear avatars (who are all very amused with Elias' wayward Archivist). Jon assumes Elias knows nothing about all this bullshit because Elias is just his weird and uptight boss who accidentally killed someone, he can't possibly know that there are literally fear gods ruling over them

olive ⚰ has named the group 'Avatars ✨'

JMagnus 👀: Jude please don't hurt him. I'll explain everything when he gets back to the Institute.

🔥: too late

JMagnus 👀: What?

🔥: too late

🔥: burned him

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

JMagnus 👀: Where is he now.

🔥: going to mike

JMagnus 👀: Mike Crew???

🔥: ya

Elias RACES to Mike's house but he. he fucking misses them. the Beholding helpfully tells him that they're all going back to the Institute so Basira and Daisy can interrogate him, which isn't ideal, he'd really like to not go to jail, so he drafts up an employment contract on the way back and barely manages to escape the whole thing with his life intact.

then he explains everything to Jon because if Jon is going to end up being the Archivist, being uninformed won't do. Jon becomes the Archivist completely on accident and Elias is desperately trying to make all of this work because, haha, the Unknowing is coming up, and Elias is not in the fucking mood to deal with clowns.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'all that is terror uwu'

spidey🕸: lmfaooo jonah how do you make an archivist on accident

JMagnus 👀: He stumbled into it. All I can do now is ensure he doesn't die.

JMagnus 👀: Or get further injured by the rest of you.

🔥: woops

🎭: hEy gUyS lOnG tiMe nO sEe

🎭: gEt iT eLiAs

🎭: sEe

JMagnus 👀: Beholding puns are not amusing from a manifestation of the Stranger.

🎭 has named the group 'eLiAs bE niCe tO niKoLa cHaLlEnGe'

🔥: haha

spidey🕸: I'm sure Nikola will be on her best behavior

🎭: yEaH i wOnT kiDnAp yOuR aRcHiViSt

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

mike n ike: hey guys what'd I miss

🔥: arent you dead

mike n ike: yeh but I came back

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA ORSINOV WHERE IS JONATHAN SIMS

🔥: can't you see haha

mike n ike: heh "see"

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA

spidey🕸: wow he must be pissed

spidey🕸: he left out the punctuation

JMagnus 👀: I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR PLASTIC BONES WHERE'S MY ARCHIVIST

🎭 has left the chat.

JMagnus 👀: what the FUCK

since he's still a coward Elias sends Michael to go fetch Jon, only finding out after the fact that he very nearly almost signed Jon's death warrant. Elias is now speedrunning Jon's development because fuck the Unknowing is coming up really quickly and Tim is a self destructive mess and Melanie keeps trying to stab Elias and Martin is a pining idiot and goddammit he didn't sign up for this

Elias prepares Jon the best he can for the Unknowing, because even though he knows the ritual will fail, the Circus can still cause a considerable amount of damage and he needs them out of the way.

the Unknowing happens. Jon ends up in a wack ass coma, Tim is dead, Daisy's in the coffin, and Basira is starting to look like the better choice of Archivist because jesus christ Jon has no self preservation instinct. Elias doesn't get arrested this time around but his ex husband starts coming by the Institute and fucking with all his employees. and the Flesh is attacking. jesus. goddamn.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'bully elias'

JMagnus 👀: Why are you all so mean to me? I'm arguably the nicest one here.

🔥: ur joking right

Peter Lukas: you're not nice you didn't buy me an anniversary gift 😢😢😢

JMagnus 👀: I was busy.

Peter Lukas: doing what

JMagnus 👀: Stopping the Flesh from destroying my Institute. Besides, you didn't remember my birthday.

Peter Lukas: you're 200 years old how could I remember 😓

helen!!!!!: We All Know I'm The Nicest One Here!!

JMagnus 👀: How did you make your text that colorful?

helen!!!!!: IDK

JMagnus 👀: Liar.

helen!!!!!: That's Literally My Job

olive ⚰: hey eli your archivist just woke up I think

🔥: ew why

helen!!!!!: How Delightful!! Maybe I'll Throw Him A Glad You're Alive Party!!

olive ⚰: should we invite him to this chat since he's an avatar now

Peter Lukas: no 🙅 🚫❌

Peter Lukas: I hate archivists 😤😤

olive ⚰: still mad about gertrude huh

🔥: were all still mad about gertrude

🔥: but jons fine once you burn some manners into him

JMagnus 👀: Can you all please stop hurting Jon? Or talking about hurting him? I would like my Archivist to not acquire any more scars.

🔥: damn

Peter Lukas: damn 😔

Elias keeps trying to teach Jon how to pick certain victims to feed off of because personally he has no qualms about feeding from innocents but Jon!! actually trusts him!!! so Elias doesn't want to push Jon into making decisions that will offend his moral sensitivities.

things are actually going okay for a while. Elias starts going home at a reasonable time in the evenings and Jon is actually getting some sleep. and then-

Elias is having a nice dream about Peter trying to fish Simon Fairchild out of a sky filled with eyes when he abruptly sits up in bed, wide awake.

"Ah, fuck," he says to Peter, who is laying on the floor where it is Lonelier™. "Jon's doing something stupid. I Know it."

Peter's mumbled "isn't he always" goes unnoticed as Elias hurries to the Institute, where he finds a fucking rib on Jon's desk and the coffin in the middle of the room.

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

JMagnus 👀: What the fuck do I do?? I can't go into the Buried! Why is Jon so stupid? I didn't know he had zero braincells when I hired him!

🔥: ngl why havent you fired him yet

JMagnus 👀: Beholding won't let me. We're all bound to the Institute.

🔥: F

JMagnus 👀: Why are there no Buried avatars in here? Please someone help me.

mike n ike: lol the buried is gross why would anyone go down there

spidey🕸: does he have an anchor?

[JMagnus 👀 sent an image]

🔥: is that a fucking rib

spidey🕸: wow that's not a good anchor at all

spidey🕸: he needs someone he loves

JMagnus 👀: Thanks. Gtg.

spidey🕸: np

🔥: are we not going to talk about his rib

🔥: how the fuck did he get that out of his body

🔥: yall

🔥: YALL

it takes three days for Elias to find Martin.

"Please tell me why the fuck you're dabbling in the Lonely," Elias says as Martin steps sheepishly out of the fog.

"Ah. Well. Jon can't See into it very well and sometimes we like to spice up our se-"

"Stop before I have to gouge my eyes out again."

"A-Again-?"

Elias drags Martin back to the Institute. Martin starts setting tapes on the coffin because "Jon loves these" and Elias starts bashing his head into the wall.

Jon climbs out of the coffin with Daisy and Elias almost considers locking Jon in his office so the damn archivist can't do anything else ridiculous. instead, Elias very calmly takes Jon by the shoulders, and shakes him like a rag doll.

"Stop fucking with entities, you stupid, stupid man," Elias says, shaking Jon more viciously now.

after several hours of breathing exercises Elias returns to his house and doesn't take his Sight off of Jon for the rest of the night, which is a fun experience for Peter when he wakes up and finds Elias' bloodshot eyes staring directly at him in the morning.

JMagnus 👀 added Daisy to 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivist hate club'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'shut up peter'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'you love jon more than me'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'I don't love either of you I'm heartless'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'I want a divorce'

spidey🕸: jeez take your marital dispute elsewhere

spidey🕸 has named the chat 'lonelyeyes dni'

Daisy: wtf is this

mike n ike: it's a chat for avatars

mike n ike: and ex avatars ig

Daisy: didn't I kill you

mike n ike: yea

JMagnus 👀: Hello, Daisy. Welcome to the group chat.

Daisy: why is Jon not in here

Peter Lukas: because I hate him 😁

spidey🕸: Elias talks mad shit in here and Jon would get offended

Daisy: if you talk bad about Jon I'll rip your throat out

Daisy: :)

JMagnus 👀: Noted.

mike n ike: he's kinda rude tho

Daisy: I've killed you once

Elias' only goal now is to keep Jon and his assistants from pulling any more wild stunts without his supervision. his renewed involvement with the archival staff results in a few things he'd hoped to avoid: drink invites, physical contact (Martin is surprisingly quick to start hugging Elias once he realizes Elias won't stop him), and- shudder -feelings. because Elias genuinely cares about his staff and doesn't want any harm to befall them. especially Jon. Jon is his Archivist, the only one to ever succeed like this, and Elias will be damned if he lets anything happen to him.

"Why do you care?" Jon asks, once, compulsion thrumming like static on his tongue. "About us, I mean. I would've assumed you'd want to perform the Beholding's ritual."

Jonah Magnus attempted the Watcher's Crown once, when he was young and new. he'd brought his patron close, but not all the way through, and the backlash of power killed all the inmates at Millbank and severely crippled Jonah's connection to the Eye for months afterward. he grew to assume that the Beholding simply preferred the world as it was--ripe with fear for watching. it didn't need a ritual.

he instead dedicated himself to growing stronger, cultivating his Institute of knowledge, his stronghold. if he tore out a few people's eyes when he got too old, then, well, collateral. but he doesn't want the world to end, and knows now that no ritual will ever succeed unless it brings in all the Powers at once. and he doesn't want that either.

it's concerning to him that Jon seems to be collecting marks regardless. the only ones he's missing are the Dark and the Lonely, and Elias is determined to keep it that way.

he explains all of this to Jon who, to his credit, takes it pretty well. Jon is fascinated with historic life and Elias spends some time simply recounting tales of his youth, when he still bore the name Magnus.

they bond. it's good.

and one day Basira does a little too much research and discovers the dark sun waiting in Ny Alesund. she insists they need to go and see what's left of the People's Church, they need to ensure everything is taken care of. Jon is rather insistent too. and Elias wouldn't have been inclined to let them go, except Peter was finally home after weeks at sea, and it wasn't like Jon was defenseless, he could call Elias if anything went wrong...

so, very reluctantly, Elias gives them the all clear. Basira, Jon, and Martin head north, and Elias almost forgets they've gone when he arrives home and Peter already has dinner prepared.

Jon comes back marked by the Dark.

Elias curses himself, over and over, for being foolish enough to let them go, for not keeping a closer eye on them. he knows the ritual won't work unless a certain incantation is spoken, so he'll just have to keep world-ending written chants away from Jon. easy. and it's not like Jon will even get marked by the Lonely. Peter wouldn't.

(but Martin doesn't have the same level of control, and sometimes...)

it's an accident. Martin and Jon are testing it, pushing the boundaries, when Martin pulls them both into the Lonely. Elias threatens divorce until Peter caves and fetches them, but it's too late. Jon has been marked by all fourteen Powers.

Elias tells him, and warns him to check everything he reads.

helen!!!!! has named the chat 'apocalypse babey'

JMagnus 👀: How are you doing that?

JMagnus 👀: And the apocalypse is not imminent. I have the situation under control.

olive ⚰: ha yeah

JMagnus 👀: What do you mean by that?

olive ⚰: nothing

JMagnus 👀: Well, now I certainly think it's something.

olive ⚰: it's just

olive ⚰: don't you think it's kinda weird that @spidey🕸 has been offline for so long

🔥: thats weird shes always online

JMagnus 👀: Oliver, what are you implying?

olive ⚰: idk

olive ⚰: just weird, that's all

🔥: never good when the spiders are quiet

olive ⚰: hear hear

Elias gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, and beside him, Peter looks alarmed. meanwhile, in his flat with Martin making tea in the other room, Jon has a statement clutched in his grasp.

Hello, Jon.

I would apologize for the deception, but I'm afraid that's quite what I'm good at. I'm not one to monologue, that's more Jonah's shtick, so shall we get on with things?

I admit I underestimated Jonah Magnus. He's still remarkably easy to manipulate, but when he abandoned the Watcher's Crown ritual I knew I would have to take a different approach. The Mother is not so satisfied with the world as she may have insinuated. It is our turn to rise, Jon.

At the age of eight, you were marked by us. We sent you to the Magnus Institute in the hopes that a new Archivist would rekindle Jonah's desire to end the world. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he grew fond of you, and so we brought in a new plan. We marked you. One fear at a time. Jonah gave an admirable attempt at protecting you, but ultimately, he is an incompetent old fool, and I am a Weaver. Even Jonah Magnus dances to invisible strings.

Everyone underestimates a spider until it bites. Poison is poison, Jon, regardless of the medium in which it is served.

You will be safe in this new world. Martin, too. Perhaps even Jonah and his Lukas, if the Mother deems them worthy.

Now, please repeat after me...

Jon reads the ink scratched words, eyes welling up with tears and hands trembling, as thunder crashes outside and a howling gale picks up beyond the windows. Martin is shouting something, there's the crawling press of Elias' gaze as it rests heavy behind Jon, a silent observer. He can feel Elias' soothing presence, cool and calm in the raging storm.

Elias is still watching out for him.

Strings are wrapped around his wrists, jerking his arms up in a poor mockery of religious regard, strange hysterical laughter clawing out from his throat.

Jon's tears run red. Somewhere, Elias is still watching.

The door opens.

[mindofharry]

could u write something about harry and y/n growing up together and then they maybe fall in love👉🏻👈🏻:)

!! 🥺 there is many spelling errors etc in this - it took me three days to write so pls send feedback in!!! enjoy :)

5 years old:

“harry! that’s mine” y/n pouted as her best friend stole her hair tie. it was favourite one, her brother had gotten for her when he went to spain on his school trip and she loved her brother, so it was her favourite thing ever — even if was just a hair tie. “no. sharing is caring y/n” harry said putting the hair tie on his wrist like a bracelet and continued to draw. y/n was going to cry. she could feel it. so she grabbed her painting and decided to head home — which was next door. harry eyes widened when he saw y/n was leaving ( and not even saying good bye either!) “where are you going?” he asked with a slight pout turning around in his chair. y/n glared his way before ripping up her painting “i’m going home” she stated strutting down his hall.

harry immediately followed, nearly tripping himself up in the process. “i’ll come too” he persisted and y/n shook her head. “no you’re not allowed in my home anymore” she stated opening his front door. harry didn’t realise what was happening. anne watched the two bicker laughing to herself, hiding her smile behind her mug — y/n always got her way and had harry wrapped around her little finger. “why am i not allowed?” harry asked holding onto her hand “because you won’t give me back my hair tie you idiot” y/n nearly yelled with tears in eyes. she ran out the door leaving harry there in shock. he wiped his tears on his school uniform.

anne came over to the boy placing a hand on his shoulder before rubbing away his tears “why don’t we make a card for y/n, yeah?” anne asked and harry grinned nodding.

he spent all afternoon on it with anne’s help of course. gemma shook her head when she realised the both of you guys were fighting — again. the both of you were stubborn, but the most caring. both very much little narcissists too, which make both of your parents laugh. “mummy, does the car look good?” harry asked already knowing his card was amazing. anne gasped nodding “amazing baby! now let’s go knock for y/n” anne said practically pushing him out the door.

y/n and her brother were already out the front, her brother andrew trying to distract her from harry — andrew and her parents were used to this by now, y/n was a little...... she was a.... bitch. she could be very demanding and a little bit of a queen bee, but she was beyond kind. but it made people laugh, because she was so blunt especially with harry. harry was really the only one that could handle her in their year. the rest of the kids were a bit scared of her.

anne and andrew waved at eachother waiting for the show to begin. “y/n, i think you have a visitor” andrew whispered turning her around. y/n sighed pouting looking at harry who had a card in his hand and he looked like a little puppy. “i have a card for you” he said shyly giving her the card. it said “i am sorry for stealing your hair tie. love you your best friend harry”

y/n giggled and wrapped her little arms around his neck “come on! let’s go play!”

13 years old:

“are you sure you want to do this?” y/n asked harry as they sat on the grass in their local park. harry nodded eagerly “for sure! we’re best friends. we should be each other’s first kiss” harry said quickly and y/n shrugged agreeing. “i suppose” she replied quietly. “ok let’s do it” y/n said smiling as harry blushed.

harry leaned in and quickly pecked her lips. y/n giggled as harry yelled “that was disgusting!” he yelled running away. y/n laughed so hard she fell back onto the grass. harry could listen to her laugh for hours, but he was too busy pretending their kiss was disgusting.

“you’re such a boy!” y/n laughed as he lay beside her. he shook his head “what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked slightly offended. “i thought the kiss was romantic, harry! it was... nice” she smiled poking his cheek “well now that i’ve got the first kiss out of the way! i’m going to kiss all the boys and girls ever!” y/n squealed gushing at the thought.

“girls?” harry asked confused and y/n nodded “yes. girls too harry” she said and he shrugged “i don’t really care either” he said and y/n smiled “i know” she said bringing him into a hug.

“katie invited me to come over and play sims with her tomorrow” y/n said gagging slightly making harry laugh into her neck. “why do you hate her so much?” he asked playing with her long hair “she’s just annoying. like you” she said getting up to run away. he grabbed her quickly “not so fast”

“harry! i have boobs now” she squealed and he rolled his eyes “just because you wear a bra now, doesn’t mean you can use it as an excuse” harry mumbled letting her climb onto his back, he began walking home once she was comfortable. “i’m proud of them. not every thirteen year old has these babies” she whined and harry rolled his eyes again. “are you coming to mine?” harry asked hoping she’d say yes. “i can’t. andrew has his girlfriend coming over for the first time. you wanna stay for it?” y/n asked playing with his hair. “sure, i’ll ask mum”

with permission from anne, they both went to y/n’s house quite giddy, ready to meet andrews girlfriend.

they figured nobody was here yet so they made their way into the sitting room — only to be greeted by two horny young adults. “andrew, you weren’t lying!” y/n squealed and andrew and his practically jumped out of their skin. his girlfriend quite flustered and andrew pissed off.

“of course i wasn’t lying, you git” he said and his girlfriend smacked his arm before standing up to skake y/n and harry’s hand “i’m lydia. it’s nice to meet you both!” she said and y/n hugged her instead suprising her. “i’m y/n, andrews brother and this is my best friend and now officially my first kiss harry!” she blurted out excited and harry hit her arm “why’d you tell her that?” he asked blushing “because it was romantic, you worm!” she mumbled and he rolled his eyes “we pecked each other on the lips and then i ran away” he mumbled back.

“you’ll get used to it” andrew said to lydia.

16 years old:

“haz, you’ll be fine” y/n said holding onto his hand as they waited inline for the xfactor. she was trying to calm down a very nervous harry. she wasn’t very nervous herself, she knew he’d get through. “i’m so nervous, y/n” he mumbled messing about with her hair. “i know you” she paused “but you’re going to get through, ok? you’ve practiced and you deserve to be here” she said holding onto his hand. he let out a breathe and smiled “yeah. yeah” he said holding her hand.

after talking to dermot (the whole family being sort of star struck) they quickly made their way back stage.

harry and y/n were together secretly being filmed for harry’s scene. there was bits of them just talking and laughing. really acting like a couple. soon enough it was harry’s turn to perform. and now y/n was safe to say, she was shitting herself. she wasn’t even going on stage, but she really was nervous for him. once everyone had kissed and hugged him y/n grabbed him and gave him a kiss on the temple “you can do this, hazza” she said patting him on the back before letting him go.

she smiled with gemma and they cuddled close together watching the tv from back stage. her heart was pounding so fast and so loudly, she’s sure everyone could hear it. it was safe to say that the ladies loved harry, the cheers were deafening — it did make y/n a little jealous. after simon asked him a few questions he was set to sing.

y/n rested her head on gemmas shoulder listening to the stevie wonders song play and harry’s voice fill up the stadium. y/n could feel her eyes fill up with tears (she wasn’t quite sure why) maybe it was being nervous or she was just very, very proud. something along the lines of the two.

once he finished the whole stadium filled up with claps and y/n was the first (with anne of course) to clap and cheer still holding on to gemma. it made y/n smile when nicole complimented harry’s voice, because all of it was true. but when louis started talking, y/n immediately booed, gemma having to cover her mouth with her hand. it made y/n beyond upset, because harry was so sure of himself. of course he was super confident, but he had to have some to come on the show. y/n was just holding on that simon would disagree, and boy did he.

harry fucking got through.

once he got out, y/n practically threw herself at him not catching him by surprise at all. she sobbed into his arms placing both her hands on his cheeks “you’re amazing” she squealed kissing both his cheeks and then of course, let his family congratulate him. y/n was beyond proud, she knew he could do this. and she knew he was going to make it big.

she just didn’t realise she would be there with him.

17 years old:

y/n held her phone to her ear while she was studying for her exams. harry was tapping away about something and although y/n loved talking to harry — she just couldn’t concentrate.

“hello? y/n? you there” he teased and y/n sighed rubbing her eyes “yeah, i am. just stressed” she yawned putting down her pen. “i don’t think i can finish a year early haz” she whined into the phone. y/n was always going to finish school early — it was something she decided when she went to secondary school. but now, without harry by her side, and her brother living his own life — she was stressed, sad and very unmotivated.

“y/n. you’ve wanted to do this for so long. you can get through this, you’re the smartest bloody person i know! and i know a lot of people!” harry said sternly and y/n giggled nodding her head “yeah, you’re right. ok, i’m going to go annoy your sister for a bit” y/n said and harry sighed “you’re like best friends with her now aren’t you?” harry teased and y/n smiled “shes like an angel” y/n replied.

soon they both hung up and gemma helped y/n with some study — y/n was now pretty confident about her exams. they both decided to have a sleepover since it was the weekend — and they both had nothing else to do.

“do you miss harry?” gemma asked messing around with her bowl of ice cream. y/n nodded quickly “yeah. definitely” she replied putting her bowl on the coffee table. “and he doesn’t call as much. and when he does i can barely get a word in” she scoffed “and hes always telling me about all these women and such” she rolled her eyes and gemma smiled “you like him don’t you?” she asked and y/n shook her head “no. i love him” she replied casually leaving gemma in shock “i have since the day he stole my pink hair tie. and when we had out first kiss and he called it disgusting i cried all night” she giggled “sometimes i think he likes me back. but then he told me about him losing his virginity to someone else” she paused sniffling “and um. i was gonna confess that day. and tell him how ive been waiting” she finished drying under her eyes “i don’t know, its stupid” she waved it off.

gemma sighed pulling y/n into a hug “harry loves you. i know he does. just give it time, love”

soon enough harry and y/n were able to meet up. and y/n was going to make her feelings clear to him. and if he didn’t feel the same way, then she would move on. it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

she just needed to know.

they were sat in the park they both shared their first kiss in, y/n was laying on the ground harry doing the same leaning on his side to face y/n. “had my first proper break up” he mumbled and y/n looked up biting her lip. “are you ok?” she asked holding his hand. he nodded “i was upset. cried a bit” he paused “but caroline was nice to me. but i think it was right to break up” he finished smiling softly. y/n nodded placing her head on his chest.

“that’s a good way to think” she said as he placed his hand in her hair. “you haven’t been telling me about any of your sexual adventures” he teased and y/n scoffed “because there is none.” she replied rolling her eyes.

“what are you waiting for!” he asked and y/n looked up to him. “i have to tell you something” she said.

“i um. harry just please listen and don’t freak out. please. and it doesn’t matter if you don’t like me back, but i like you a lot. no, i love you. more than a friend. i have since we were kids. i want to be with you. so bad” she finished feeling tears form in her eyes.

harry let out a shaky breath and stood up. he looked up to the sky and y/n cried. “please say something” she asked standing up beside harry. “y/n. i just got out of breakup and i don’t no. we’re best friends” he said and y/n let out a sob nodding her head. “yeah! yeah totally. you’re right” she replied wiping her tears. “we’re best friends. and you don’t love me” she paused “ thats ok” she said and placed a hand on his cheek “i’m going to go home” she said and started to walk away and harry cursed to himself. “fuck” he mumbled beginning to walk home himself.

19 years old:

after being heartbroken for a year, y/n tried to move on. eventually she lost her virginity to a boy she liked. he was gently and soft and took care of her. then she definitely started to abuse sex. she was upset that the person she loved didn’t love her back.

college was not easy for her. she slacked off her work, she drank, she did a bit of drugs. she slept around. she lost her friends, and most importantly she lost herself.

“honey, i’m worried about you” her mum expressed sitting besid y/n on her bed. “well you shouldn’t be. i’m fine” she said laying down. her mum shook her head and stood up. “i don’t know what’s going on with you. you don’t talk to anyone. to me, your dad, andrew! you don’t even talk to harry” she paused “what’s going on?” her mum asked again sitting down pulling her daughter into a hug.

“he doesn’t love me back, mum” y/n sobbed out “harry doesn’t love me. and i tried to get over it. i tried, i did. i tried to make peace with it. but i can’t, because it just hurts so much” she cried and her mum sighed kissing her forehead. “you shouldn’t have to forget about it. or make peace with it. you should be angry, and sad. you aren’t allowing yourself to be annoyed, love” her mum said and y/n nodded “i am angry. but not at harry. just sad that i’m not allowed to love him” she replied drying her eyes.

after getting that off her chest, she felt better. much better. she met up with a few of her college friends, that she lost along the way. and she had a great time. she started to concentrate a bit more on school, changing her major to fashion. something she was more passionate about. she did some therapy, her mum said it was completely normal to do so. she had a tough two years, but shes back and better than ever.

her therapist told her, that making peace with it now, is ok. that she should talk to harry. see how he is. y/n was reluctant, but with a little push, she ended up texting him.

y/n :):

are you in the area? wanna meet up? x y/n

after waiting for around 15 minutes she heard a ding coming from her phone, god she didn’t want to come off as desperate (because she really was) she was going to be calm, and try and get her best friend back.

harry ✨:

i’m in the area! love to meet up with you, meet at the park in 5? x h

y/n respond with a simple ok! and squealed. god she was desperate. she quickly got changed and brushed her teeth before kissing her mum goodbye. she practically ran to the park. bad idea, because she was very out of breathe now.

“y/n! hey” harry called out smiling. y/n could cry, he looked even better than before. this was the man she fell in love with. y/n inniated the hug — and she felt harry stiffen, maybe he was surprised? with the way she was treating him, it was like he never said he didn’t love her back. she was so careful, so gentle too. “harry, you look good” y/n replied letting go of the hug and sitting down on the grass (in their usual spot) harry smiled, before sitting down beside her. “i’ve been working out” he laughed and y/n giggled “america’s changed you” she teased earning a scoff “oh shut up”

“so how have you been?” harry asked. she wanted to lie and say she’s been fine. that she handled the situation well, but the anti depressants in her bottom drawer say something else. “um, ive been ok” she lied smiling at him. he nodded “yeah, same! travelling the world is such a dream, but when you get to perform too. it’s amazing” he ranted and y/n giggled “i’ll say” she paused “i’m really proud of you, harry” she finished looking up at him. when he finally got a good look at her, he noticed the changed. the way her eyes didn’t light up, or her cheeks weren’t as flushed. she had tattoos and a nose piercing. her hair was no longer brown, it was blonde. she had changed so much in the span of 2 years. and he knew exactly why.

“how have you been really, y/n?” he asked again more sternly. she sighed placing her arms around her knees. “i’ve been. i’ve been good right now. seeing a therapist and all” she nodded looking at him. he just looked, didnt smile laugh or tease. he just stayed silent. “i wasn’t well. drank and did a load of shit that wasn’t good for me. but i’m ok now” she smiled “spending more time with my parents, don’t have a lot of friends” she nodded and harry raised his eyebrows “really? you used to have so many friends in secondary school” he replied and she laughed “well. i am an ex drug addict harry” she laughed at it like it was a joke. but harry didn’t think it was funny. “please. don’t hurt yourself again.” he asked keeping the tears in “don’t think i could lose you” he replied as she put her head on his shoulder.

“eh. i’ll always be around, one way or another”

21 years old:

“baby, have you seen my tie?” harry called out from their shared bedroom.

“here” y/n said smiling brightly. she was beautiful. her dress was black and skin tight, her beautiful blonde hair, she had kept dying was curled. and god don’t him started on her lips.

“you’re an angel” he grinned pecking her lips twice. “hmm. i know” she hummed fixing his hair, which he recently just cut. he got a role in a movie (which y/n still can’t believe) and he had to cut his beautiful long hair — somehow he looks even sexier.

when the two reconnected three years ago, they agreed to just let things happen. they wouldn’t force anything. and one thing led to another and here they are, happy, in a 2 year relationship and living together. anne was so happy when they told their families. somehow everyone knew they would end up together — even if harry took a little longer. they were soulmates, as friends and lovers. they were meant for eachother in every possible way.

“what are you thinking about, princess?” harry asked pulling her into him once he finished putting on his tie. “just how much i love you” she smiled and he giggled kissing her head “you make me giggle, you know that” he said bringing her head up. “i love it when you giggle” she teased and he scoffed bringing her in for another kiss.

“let’s go”

once they were at the event — to see dunkirk. harry had lots of photos to do, small interviews to have etc. so she stayed with his manager for the most part, getting in pictures with anne and harry when they were going inside. y/n didn’t mind the cameras, she wasn’t particularly keen on everyone knowing every detail of their relationship, but she didn’t was to be completely private. there was pictures of her on his instagram, well when he used it. and now it was like her account was a fan page for him. at the start she didn’t post about him at all — but she wanted to show him off. he was incredibly sexy.

after the movie was finished anne and y/n were a mess. not because it was sad or really terrible, they were just incredibly proud of their boy. he had just gotten out of the band, he was working on music etc. and now he acts in Christopher nolan movies, how cool is that, y/n thought.

“hey! hey! bubba, why are you crying?” harry asked grabbing her face kissing her lips softly. “i’m just so proud of you haz” y/n replied laughing “it’s good. it’s a good cry” she said and he kept looking at her. so she stood on her tippy toes and placed another kiss on his lips.

“promise”

2020: 26 years old

“bubba, you can have one or none” y/n said softly and their boy giggled “mama i want all” he huffed and looked to his dad, harry just laughed and shrugged “how are we meant to discipline this child, if you keep shrugging at everything” y/n pouted and harry sighed sitting down next to her.

he kissed her head softly “this kid is 3, and he’s the most well behaved child in the world. it doesn’t to let him have a few more chocolate bars” harry said shrugging. y/n looked over at the baby infront of her who was looking at her with puppy dog eyes “ please mama, i be good for all day” he said excitedly and y/n gasped “all day?” she asked and he nodded “you promise?” she asked again and he nodded climbing over the table to sit on her lap “i promise mama”

“ok! harry you get to deal with the sugar rush though”

“ok- wait what?”

[what-ever-happened-to-chip]

The Adventures of Squall

Squall's observations. Hmm. I don't know what Rinoa wants me to do. I guess I'll ask Eli for his notes and just give them to her. *knock knock* "Cheerio good boy, may  I help you with anything?" "Do you have notes on that thing Christian was talking about?" "Ahh you've came to the right residence, just let me....hold on just a moment..." He began digging through piles of loose paper, flipping through notebooks, all whilst mumbling to himself. "Alas! Here is one of my more rudimentary charts, but it shall accomplish what you're intial questions preface." It was hard to concentrate, he was talking very fast and using a lot of words that I didn't know. Akio says because of my ASD I sometimes get what he calls "verbal dyslexia" and it's hard for me to comprehend what other people are saying, especially if they talk different from me. I'll have to concentrate very hard if I don't want Rinoa mad at me again. "But see this is where it gets confusing, we have many great forces here, coincidence? Doubtfully so, but these overlapping characteristics I believe have come here for a reason. Many of our members, including myself, have had interactions with Christos, Christian you call him, and I can't imagine why he would let so many familar faces corner him in the same scenario, unless of course he had a plan for each individual. See, I believe..." He pulled out a chair for me that I sat in. I took out my notebook so I could remember what to tell Rinoa. "If you look here on this chart.." he pulled out a large beige canvas with several pictures pinned to it, threads of twine connecting different ones. "First you see here that Christos comes to my noble world and plants himself as Cyrus, the destroyer of worlds. He taints Noah and I am his right hand man. He tells me a great many things, we can go into later. Do realize this isn't in chronilogical order, I have no way of telling yet the timeline of all our respective worlds. "Next he plants himself as an alien, "Jenova" he calls it on Gaia and and infects the whole planet. The only one to save it was Aerith who possesses extrodainary spiritual powers. She was the last chance tho and aside from her sacrifice Geostigma went on beyond her time..." "His next target, alas, Thomas. A young, troubled boy whom Christian fictionalized a companion for. An alter ego of sorts and made thomas believe it was himself. I believe he might have been weak and needed a human body to recover on. At some point Christian went to Aiden and found him by the Sanguis River, which is the border between our world and ubi requiescit dolor or "where sorrow rests. I haven't been able to spot where he showed up in Harry's world, but I do know he was there at some point. He likely was only a death eater of no great importance. Same with Roxas, Christian probably took the form of a nobody, which of course begs the question...." It was really hard for me to take notes as fast as he talked. I was really tryign to spell words better to get in the habit of it. Reading was easy for me, but writing made me nervous. I'll just get the names and maybe i'll remember. "can one become a nobody without having a form first? Perhaps that's it. He was a formed human on one planet and when he was almost destroyed at some theroetical part, he latched onto Thomas but only came back as a nobody which of course is an allusion. Details, details, but where were we? Oh yes, next on his infamous walk through time was of course Aangs world where he brought the powers of darkness to a seemingly balanced world, probably dating back to around...." I needed to yawn, but it seemed rude. I wonder how he knew all of this. He seemed confused himself. Maybe I should talk to some other people. Rinoa will be mad if I only talk to him. I should have gotten more information earlier.

“And of course Akio’s unfortunate fate with him, presenting himself as illusions to drive the man mad I’m sure. I do believe he could do that, his evil seems endless.” He paused and looked around at all his charts and papers. this will be a good time to excuse myself. "I have to use the restroom, excuse me" He didn't seem to notice me leave, he kept talking and looking at his papers. While I was walking I saw Harry with a plastic cup pressed up to a door. As I walked closer to him he dropped the cup and ran. I went to the kitchen. "Hey Zack" He was drinking really fast out of a big water bottle. Some of it was spilling on his black shirt. "Heya buddy, I broke 20 in 80, my new personal best. Gotta love the summer time." "What?" "Oh 20 miles in an hour and 20, a 4 minute average." "...." "So do you know anything about why we had to go to Camp A and Camp B?" "Ulquiorra seemed pretty on edge, everyone getting riled up like that. Maybe it's time for the old man to retire!" "What about the dark world place?" "I don't know much about that, but I tell you I sure don't know want to get to know it better if you know what I mean. Anyways bud, lactic acid builds on stiff muscles, gotta do my cool down." He then clapped me a little hard on the back, it was sort of uncomfortable, then left the room. I continued walking around looking for someone else to talk to. Rikku is on the couch watching a cartoon called the Powerpuff Girls. She is flossing on the couch? Why isn't she in the bathroom. I'll wait until she's done. I'll wait around the corner so she doesn't know I saw her doing it. After about 70 second she dropped the floss on the ground. There was a garbage can right on the table, but I guess she didn't see it.

"Hey" "Uhhh hey..." Her eyes never left the screen. "Do you know anything about the dark spirit place Christian was talking about?" "Hmmm, there was this one story Buddy used to tell us to scare us, it seems like the same thing and i don't know with all this world collide bs i wouldn't surprised if it's the same. "Do you know the story?" "I don't know ask Buddy, i'm busy." "..." Okay I wonder where Buddy is. I heard a basketball hit the basket outside. Sometimes we play basketball together. "Yo, yo, yo man 3 on 3, pussy slayers vs bitch playas." "AW SHIT" "wooof woof woof" "Which ones which?" asked Aang. "My brutha you knows yous a slaya!" on that they bumped their fists together. "I guess that means i'm with you guys" Tifa said and smiled. That means I'm on Adam's and Riku's team. I played basketball up to 21 points. My team lost. I'm good at making baskets, but not as much at passing and working with my team. "Aight, aight, how bout a smoke break and then maybe we'll give ya'll a rematch." As they all began to disperse, I walked up to Buddy. "Rikku said you could tell me a story about the dark place." "Rikku tol you that?" "Yes. The one you use to tell her." He looked both ways and then straight at me. "I don know nuthin about no story." "Okay, sorry." I guess I better ask someone else. I was getting tired. I should have done this earlier, but I see  Rinoa tomorrow. I think it would be a good idea to ask Thomas. I'll see if he's in his room. *knock knock* He opened the door slow, but wide and stared at me. "Can you tell me anything about the dark place." He looked surprised and happy. Akio tells me sometimes people's facial expressions don't always show what they mean, but it's a good indicator if I'm confused. I think he wants me to come in. He was sitting in his computer chair and he had clothes folded on his bed so I don't want to sit there and get them dirty. "I find it rather odd you're the one asking me this question. Eli wasn't surprising one bit, but it's not like he'd listen if I did tell him anything." "So you don't know anything?" "Don't know anything? Yeah right. I know everything that I need to. And ultimately however this goes, there's nothing left for me to lose." "...." "I must admit it does get rather boring having to hold back such genius in my mind. Feigning ignorance on all matters that go on here just to be able to thrive. This truly is the best case scenario for me and I know i'm not alone." He was frowning now. I didn't say anything so I know he probably isn't mad at me. I've learned that most people just keep talking if you say nothing. It helps a lot because I usually have nothing to say. "Are you looking for the nitty gritty, the gory details, or simple how're you're involved?" "Rinoa wanted to me to ask people about it. She thinks we're being lied to." "HAH. Just now she thinks she's been lied to?? Foolish girl." "Rinoa is smart." "Perhaps she is, all the same it's all clouded by her ego." "....." "So rinoa wants to know about the dark world they've after all this time brought up. You have to know though, Simon wouldn't have brought it up if there wasn't some gain to him, some strategic reason for his timing. He's a puppet master, he probably knew you would be here talking to me. It's all going just to his plan.....or perhaps he thought I would kick you out and that would keep him advantageous. But he knew that i'd knew that he was planning that." I was getting pretty confused. "Who's Simon?"

He frowned at me. "He's Christian." "Okay." "That's right "Christian" has had many names, many forms. He's wormed his way into many of lives and took everything they had with them. A leech. Of course a leech needs to eat too." I had been in his room almost 15 minutes. It was probably time to talk to someone else. "The dark world, purgatory, the eternal space, the fog, every world has a different name for it. Some are ignorant, but most know that not everyone gets the "good death". It's origin is beyond me, but I know what it is now. And I know he wants to go there. He's looking for something. Or maybe he's helping someone else." "I have to go now." "Then go, i'm not keeping you if that's what you thought" Thomas sneered at me. "..." *door shuts* As I left Thomas's room, Zidane came in really quickly from the front door. He looked really skinny these days. He pulled off his knapsack and begin looking for something deep within it. I don't know why he still uses his old knapsack, a good messenger bag would look a lot nicer and be a lot less stressful on his shoulders. "OKAY DADDY'S HOME, who wants to party???" As people began pouring into the dining room, they gathered around as he poured a large bag of cocaine out onto the clean glass table top. I remembered when I went fishing the other day how when I dropped bread crumbs in little fish would swarm to all try and get the food at once. It reminded me of that. I used to do cocaine sometimes with Irvine and his friends, but Akio says that it might make my OCD and ASD worse. I didn't want to mess with it, I had already had a stressful day. That's good enough for now. I'll just go to bed and maybe in the morning someone will talk about it and I won't have to ask. I did my bedtime rituals in the normal order, brush teeth, clean face, comb hair, change out of all clothes into two pairs of fresh underwear, socks, and pajamas. It was nice tonight I could turn off the air conditioner. I rested my head on the pillow. The cocaine was making everyone rowdy and I could hear it. Great I could hear Aiden yelling from his room that was right next to mine, on the side my bed was pushed against. I've asked Garnet multiple times if he could switch rooms, but she says no one wants his room cause it smells like blood and has a bunch of holes in the walls. And I was definitely not going to switch my room, everyone was right in it, it didn't need to change. I don't want to spy on people, but last time I said I wouldn't do what Rinoa wanted she threatened to not talk to me for a month. Instead, she talked, or more so bitched, the entire month at me, never letting me have some peace and quiet. I don't want that again.

I took out my nightly form to see how I’’m doing and filled it out.

Anxiety: 8/10

Mood: 6/10

Insomnia: 2/10

OCD: 7/10

Triggers: Talking to people, missing lunch because no one would leave the kitchen, having to ask questions, shoe lace breaking and not having a replacement.

Medication issues: None

Overall: 6/10

He kept yelling, but I could hear another voice too. He often talked to himself so at least when someone else was there, it was only half yelling. I really didn’t want to do it, but I felt Rinoa demanding me why I didn’t. I didn’t like lying to her.

   I remembered Harry earlier. I poured my water cup out and pressed my ear against the bottom of it. "Denny if that's the case, what do you have to lose?" "EVERYTHING. DON'T YOU GET IT!!! I've been waiting too long for you to FUCK things up." "Well I do admire your dilligence Denny, you truly never give up." "I will never give up, I will never stop until things are right." "Being when you have Jenn back?" "NO SHIT. All you are is a pawn. There is no other reason you're here." "The life of a king or the life of a pawn, really only is affected by perspective. I take my place with pride and am grateful for whatever else life I get to cherish." "I've waited long enough, i'll wait forever, but I sure as fuck don't want to." "Aside from your said goals, I am curious, did J really return from there?" "Fuck if I know. It has nothing to do with me." "There feels as if there is things you aren't telling me Denny." "WELL HOW THE FUCK DID IT GO LAST TIME I DID." "Please.....I want to help." "As long as Christian holds up his end of the deal, I won't need to use you. And he has the same goal." "I get the feeling you two are not alone in your quest. Are there others?" "Yeah but they're not important really. Just gotta an eye on them." "Even more useless than I?" "No one could be more useless than you." "Ahh how appropriate I and Lana are spending our time in this waiting room together, both readily discardable part of the larger schemes of the world. I've never felt quite so zen  before." "haha maybe they should bring Liza around and see how well you two get along." "I believe they would get along splendidly. they like the same music, both androgenous yet stunningly feminine, thrill seeking." "Ur forgetting one thing, cock makes bitches crazy, look at Jenn and Yuna. They'd be the best friends in the world if Yuna hadn't sucked my dick." "And by Jenn, you mean that girl masaqurading as your girlfriend?" "Watch it fucker." "I'm only stating your sentiment seems strangely misplaced seeing Yuna is in real danger whereas "Jenn" is only what you make her to  be" "I don't think anything has to happen to her, but if it does she knew what she was getting into." "Yes, but that was a long time ago. A long time before now I would have sacrificed myself for your well being, do you think things are the same now?" ".......what do you mean..? but you....just said...WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN??????!!!!!!!" "I was only teasing Denny, of course I'm here at your service, seeing of course you are the sole reason I am here. I don't think it's wise to betray our gods." "Heh yeah right, I'm your fucking god." "Indeed I am in religious awe." "heh yeah sure. So fucker whatchu got in the briefcase." "Zidane went and filled my reservoirs, I'm back in business" "Hook it up bitch." "I wouldn't have it any other way." After that they started talking quieter in a way that didn't bother me, Finally I can go to sleep.

[miraculouscontent]

You can kind of see how As*ruc favors Adrien with the way he describes Adrien and Marinette’s love interests. With Adrien, Kagami is an outlet or escape from his feelings for Ladybug. Whereas Luka is “attainable” to Marinette, there’s no little meaning, he just basically says if Marinette can’t have Adrien, then she’ll settle for Luka. Idk why this makes me upset, but it does. I really wish Miraculous Ladybug (or really just Marinette and a select few characters) were owned by someone else :/

Okay, now that I’m conscious enough to talk about this–

Basically, here are the quotes in question:

“What type of relationship do Adrien and Kagami have?”

T: “It’s interesting because they share many things and that’s why they understand each other profoundly. Kagami means “mirror”, and in fact, she’s a mirror to Marinette and Adrien, in a way. - Adrien can’t speak about his life with Ladybug, so it’s easier to approach Kagami instead. But, is it really love? Who knows… nothing is sure about love, it’s a feeling with different meanings.“

“What is the relationship between Marinette and Luka?”

T: “Similar to that between Adrien and Kagami. Luka is kind, handsome and… attainable, as opposed to Adrien who is locked up. So it’s easier for her to be with Luka but also: is it love? Is it something else? Who knows.”

And here is me eviscerating these quotes in question:

First, quick nitpick: saying that Kagami means “mirror” is redundant when it’s already been said that she shares many things with Adrien. Kagami’s relation to Marinette is irrelevant.

So, okay, like, just starting off here, even outside of the Adrimi ship, “Adrien can’t speak about his life with Ladybug, so it’s easier to approach Kagami instead” is not a thing that should be being said. Adrien has other friends to talk to like Marinette (considering he was willing to go to her about his LOVE ISSUES IN “FROZER” WHEN SHE HAD NOOOOOOOOO EXPERIENCE ON THE MATTER AND HE’D ALREADY SHUFFLED THROUGH FOUR DIFFERENT SHIPS BEFORE DECIDING ON HER AS SOMEONE TO TALK TO) and especially Nino, but saying that it’s Kagami he can go to with no other clarification or even a footnote just makes it look like Kagami is replacing all of Adrien’s friends.

And yes, Kagami can relate to Adrien’s problems, but we’ve never been shown that that’s a problem Adrien had (i.e: that people didn’t have experiences like he did). In fact, the episode that had the biggest focus on Kagami and her relationship with her mother was “Ikari Gozen” and that hardly featured Adrien at all, focusing more on Marinette discovering things about Kagami (which you think would be relevant to the Adrimi relationship since Kagami doesn’t even have Adrien in her contacts). It can easily be inferred by the viewer that Adrien and Kagami can relate to each other’s problems, but we’re never actually shown them talking about it (literally could just be a line about “my mother is very strict with me” “my father is with me too”).

Sure, Adrien can’t talk about his life with Ladybug, but he can talk about his hero life. In fact, Ladybug tried to get a conversation going in “Gamer 2.0″ but Chat just simplified and boiled down all the issues into a matter of having fun and enjoying being with Ladybug. They could talk about the balance between their civilian and hero lives, but Chat doesn’t seem to be at all bothered by balance (it’s still weird to me that he doesn’t have a “Simon Says” equivalent, and no, “Captain Hardrock” doesn’t count and just turned Adrien into a time-waster).

Also, just throwing this out there, but if the discussion is, “hey, maybe I shouldn’t be pursuing this girl who not only doesn’t want my advances but who I can’t tell all my secrets too since there’s no guarantee that we’ll ever do an identity reveal,” THEN WE SHOULD’VE HAD THAT DISCUSSION A LONG TIME AGO.

As for the Lukanette-centric answer, I’m not even sure where to begin. Like, calling Lukanette similar to Adrimi is a MASSIVE stretch. Both ships rely on a bunch of different factors to exist and function, and bogging it down to, “well they both have other love interests and it’s complicated lol,” is an insult to storytelling. They both have entirely different dynamics and shouldn’t be treated as the same type of case.

And speaking of insult, neither Luka nor Kagami should be defined as “attainable” for a positive trait. That’s for 14-year-old shippers to discuss (i.e: ”Desperada”) and pointing it out in such a way as if both love interests have nothing else going for them compared to their competition is an insult, both to the love interests and to the narrative as a whole.

(That’s not even getting into the can of worms concerning how the ship that requires several hoops to jump through is automatically considered “better” or “more valid” since we know it’s endgame.)

This isn’t even about the debate on shipping; this is about very basic things that are required for this love square+2 plot to properly function.

While we’re on the subject of insults as well, I just can’t help but point out that last line in both answers that are leaving it totally up in the air as to whether Adrien and Marinette are in love with Kagami and Luka respectively.

I am so tired of seeing the staff constantly jerking people around and treating everything like it’s a big mystery until it inevitably gets leaked and they’ll claim that they were lying so that they could keep it a surprise instead of just choosing not to say anything rather than tests the limits of the fanbase’s trust in them. Remember “Kwamibuster” where Marinette was scolding Tikki and said, “Now I’ll never know if you’re lying or not.”? Same thing.

And just as a quick “hot take” on this ambiguity as a whole (for anyone who either hasn’t taken a basic writing class or doesn’t understand how human beings work): People do not like it when they’re constantly poked and prodded by something that ultimately isn’t going to amount to anything.

Adrien should be in love with Kagami and Marinette should be in love with Luka, period. If it builds and just turns out that the love square loved each other more than the +2 in the end, that’s fine (I mean, it’s not fine, but that’s not the fault of the love square’s concept), but this should not be a matter of “do they, don’t they.” If it’s going to be a matter of anything, it should be a matter of “what-if”s.

In order to take Luka and Kagami seriously as love interests, there should not be a question as to if there’s real love involved or not. Putting any doubt or question there eliminates any semblance of threat that these two had. At that point, they’re not “love interests;” they’re just “characters who come in to cause some confusion and then conveniently leave the picture.” They should be characters who come in with the question of, “Sure, they may not be endgame, but what if things had been just a little different? Like, what if Luka had pursued Marinette more actively, and what if Kagami had pursued Adrien less actively? If their outlooks had been just slightly different, they could’ve gotten what they wanted.”

I could go on for another few paragraphs about what it says about the lack of confidence in the writing if they go down the, “not actually in love,” path, or what it means for these characters’ actual purposes and how it correlates to the failures in the narrative, or even how it makes the love square look when this ambiguity is used as a possible out for why the +2 love interests won’t be part of the endgame ships…

but ultimately, the problem here is this constant jerking around the fandom and dancing around the issue in an attempt to keep some suspense/mystery.

Newsflash: for a good, meaningful story, the fandom shouldn’t have to be left wondering about information that was given by a staff member or thrown multiple red herrings just for the sake of leaving people guessing.

[things-with-teeth]

“And Hope That I Don’t Crash You”: The Web, The Archivist, and Control

In her statement to Jon, Annabelle Cane states, “I have always believed that the key to manipulating people is to ensure that they always under- or overestimate you. Never reveal your true abilities or plans” (MAG 147). In a lot of ways, the narrative supports reading this as an admonishment against doing the later. In MAG 149, Melanie shoots down the idea that the Web has some strategy beyond “to paralyze [Jon] with indecision, sitting here terrified that everything [he does] is somehow part of its grand plan;” Jon doesn’t necessarily concede to this point, but he does admit it’s a possibility. Every time we’ve met another avatar of one of the Entities or an organization that worships them, it’s turned out that they’re not all they were cracked up to be when they first appeared on the scene: Peter can’t protect the Archives as he told Martin he would, Elias isn’t as all-knowing as he would lead others to believe, the Cult of the Lightless Flame and the People's Church of the Divine Host are both 95% petty in-fighting and about 5% knowing what the heck they’re doing. (Simon “in it for the lulz” Fairchild is sort of a breath of fresh air; he also doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t pretend otherwise.) So maybe the Web is the same; even Annabelle suggests it, telling Jon that it’s entirely possible the Mother of Puppets is “simply sitting and reveling in the inevitable cascade of paranoia as those who hold her in special terror cocoon themselves in red string and theory” (147).

On that note, please allow me to cocoon myself in red sting and theory: I think Annabelle has basically been engineering events since season one, and here’s why.

I want to be clear from the start: I think Annabelle is being completely above board when she tells Jon that she hasn’t influenced his decision to take statements and feed the Eye. It’s clear from the moment that he proposes the possibility that this is a bit of a reach, a desperate last-ditch attempt to convince both himself and the others that he hasn’t been acting with any kind of autonomy while doing something he knows will hurt people. He is. He does. Jon Sims is becoming a monster, and that wouldn’t be nearly as horrifying or as sad if there wasn’t some element of choice to it (and some element of inevitability to that choice, as with a lot of great tragedies, but the kind of inevitability that’s as much personally driven as externally motivated). In no way am I writing this in an attempt to say “the spiders made him do it, he had no choice.” That being said, Annabelle herself makes an argument for choice being dictated by circumstance, and I’m going to argue that Annabelle herself has dictated a great deal of the circumstance from the very beginning.

Some of this is very well-supported by the things that we already know for a fact; Annabelle, herself, admits to Jon that she’s been “been nudging something here and there to keep [Jon] safe, to keep everything on track” (ibid). I don’t think there’s much room to argue that Annabelle wasn’t the one who prevented Jane Prentiss’ plan to destroy the Archives from coming to fruition. As of MAG 123, we know that Annabelle was responsible for what happened to Carlos Vittery way back in MAG 16, the very same case that Martin is investigating when he discovers Jane in the basement of Carlos’ apartment leading up to MAG 22, and from MAG 16 we know that Jane’s presence there predates that of the spiders – Carlos says his building has an “infestation of some sort of insect [he] didn’t recognize – small, silvery worms [...] they provided a good meal for the eight-legged little monsters.” As a result, the Archives are aware that Jane is a present and immediate danger. In MAG 38, the infestation of worms in the tunnels and Jane’s attack on the archives is revealed when Jon damages the false wall while attempting to commit arachnicide, and she’s forced to attack early. This is almost definitely why she fails; Tim states that “[being inside the Magus Institute] made them weaker, and they’ve been down there for months, breeding, building up their numbers until there were enough to properly bury us. Except you found that hidden passage, and they had to act” (MAG 40). I think it’s also possible – although this is more conjecture at this point – that Annabelle was the one who sent the note that incited Jared Hopworth to attack the archives between seasons three and four, although that’s mostly because I’m not sure there’s a better candidate; Peter potentially has motive, but that kind of manipulation reads more as the Web than the Lonely. “I’m starting to think the letters were a trap,” says Jared (MAG 131), and I would argue that it was a trap, not for Jared but for Martin, meant to nudge him into looking outside the Institute for protection. It’s more-or-less explicitly stated that Annabelle sent Oliver Banks to coax Jon out of his coma: “I'm still not exactly sure why I'm here. But you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what she asks” (MAG 121). Annabelle has nudged, here and there, and she has kept Jon safe, and she has kept everything on track.

I think Annabelle has been influencing events in more subtle ways, too, however. Very early in the series, Jon receives a delivery which includes “an old Zippo” with a “spider web design on the front” (MAG 36). He’s suggests that Tim have the others take a look at it, but that’s quickly lost in the realization that the other item delivered is the web table, which Jon recognizes from its description. As far as I can recall, we don’t hear another mention of the lighter until MAG 111, when Gerard asks Jon if he’s “a spider freak” after Jon offers him a cigarette and, presumably, a light. This means that, three seasons later, Jon is still carrying the lighter. A lighter with a spider web pattern on it, delivered by Breekon and Hope, who may belong to the Stranger but who are certainly willing to deliver parcels for other powers (the yellow stole Father Burroughs receives in MAG 20, for instance). Jon has been carrying around an artifact of the Web for the better part of the series, and I don’t think it’s impossible that it’s been influencing him, or that Annabelle’s been using it to influence him, in ways that are much less obvious than those I’ve listed above. Mostly I don’t want to speculate as to how it’s influenced him – I straight up do not know, and like I said, my intention is not to absolve Jon of all agency in his own actions for the last hundred plus episodes – with one exception. There’s one other time that Jon’s smoking habit has heavily impacted the plot: when he steps out to have a cigarette in MAG 80, leaving the way clear for Elias to brutally pipe murder Jurgen Lietner and keep Jon “on track” in his development as the Archivist.

This is speculation, but I think it’s speculation supported by past events within the podcast, most specifically those surrounding Gertrude and Agnes.

Annabelle wasn’t an avatar of the Web back then, of course, but I still think that there’s a lot to be learned when it comes to how the Web and/or its representatives influence the course of events nominally controlled by and benefitting other Entities. In MAG 139, Eugene Vanderstock says:

The compromise we came to was Hill Top Road. We knew it was a stronghold of the Web, full of other children Agnes’ age. We would supervise from a distance but were confident she would be in no danger. The Mother of Puppets has always suffered at our hand – all the manipulation and subtle venom in the world means nothing against a pure and unrestrained force of destruction and ruin.

And that’s—that’s weird, isn’t it? We know that the Cult is at least somewhat protective of Agnes; it’s how Diego convinces Arthur Nolan and the others not only to refrain from acting against Gertrude but to protect her for so many years after she binds Agnes to her, because it might be “catastrophic for Agnes” if Gertrude were to die “a violent death” (MAG 145). In spite of that, here they are, sending their baby chosen one into the lair of an enemy power so that she can get some normal socialization and learn not to bite (or burn) the other kids. As a result, Agnes ends up tied to Hill Top Road and Raymond Fielding, even after Fielding is dead, perhaps because of an early attempt at the same kind of binding that Gertrude eventually succeeds at creating. I don’t think it’s outside of the realm of possibility that the chain of events leading up to the Cult making this disastrous decision were not entirely without influence from the Web.

Then there’s Jack Barnabas. I’m ridiculously charmed by Jack’s whole mindset of “this girl is so goddamn weird and I’m really ridiculously into it,” and I’m not going to suggest that what he felt for Agnes wasn’t real; even Jon is “ninety percent” sure that Gertrude “didn’t pay poor Jack Barnabas to fall in love with Agnes” (MAG 139), and I’m about equally certain that the Web didn’t compel poor Jack Barnabas into being head over heels for her, either. That said, I think it’s clear that the Web did have some involvement. When preparing for his first date with Agnes, Jack smells burning and notices that “within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider's web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke” (MAG 67). The language in his statement, years later, is filled with confusion about his own motives and hints of compulsion: “I was drawn to her in a way I can't even explain,” “I don't know how it happened, it [asking Agnes for a date] just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it,” “drowning in emotions that I still can't explain,” and “looking back, I'm still not sure what I would have done differently [...] I don't know if I would have had it in me to resist. I just couldn't avoid being drawn in” (ibid). Jack’s feelings for Agnes may not have been entirely manufactured, but they did receive a nudge, and the result was doubt and eventual death for the avatar and a necessary component in the ritual of one of the Web’s opposing powers.

Finally, there’s Gertrude. When speaking of the path that led her to the ritual which eventually bound her to Agnes, she describes it thus:

It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations [...] I began researching what I thought was a counter-ritual of sorts. Like I said, I was young, naive. I somehow found just the right books, made just the right connections, and even got what I thought was a piece of blind good luck when I found a tin box in the ashes of Hill Top Road, containing some perfectly preserved cuttings of her hair. Of course, what I thought was a banishment ritual turned out not to be. The circle I constructed was more of a—an invitation. It let the Mother of Puppets bind me to Agnes, interweave our existences at some metaphysical level, as it had with Fielding and the house. (MAG 145)

Somehow she found the right books. Blind good luck that led her to Agnes’ hair at Hill Top Road. I would call it an accident. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations – and this is Gertrude, who isn’t infallible, but who Arthur Nolan pinpoints as being “too practical” (ibid) to buy into the mystique of the Entities or to ascribe to them some greater motive, which would seem to belie the possibility that she’s falling prey to (as Annabelle suggests in MAG 147, as Melanie suggests in MAG 149) the tendency to succumb to paranoia while crediting the Mother of Puppets with some grand act of manipulation that the Web isn’t actually responsible for. I would argue that Jon has most likely been experiencing the same kind of quote-unquote happenstance that Gertrude once did, the same kind of subtle manipulation cloaked in coincidence, for the entirety of the series, all of it leading him toward whatever end Annabelle finds most desirable.

Some final notes that I couldn’t really incorporate elsewhere: I really, very much hope that Melanie’s therapy sessions really are just her getting good professional help for everything the Archives and the Entities have thrown at her, but I’m less and less certain that’s the case. Annabelle’s inception, her origin story, takes place in a psychology department. When doing follow-up in MAG 69, the archival staff find that all of the post-grads involved in the experiment have disappeared; in addition, Elizabeth “Liz” Bates, the advisor on the project, refuses to give a follow-up statement. The Web is about control and manipulation; it’s entirely possible that Annabelle has a large pool of qualified candidates to draw on when it comes to providing Melanie with a counselor who doesn’t have “cobwebs down her face” (MAG 149). I also keep getting stuck on the fact that very soon after Melanie asks Daisy not to call her “Mel” in MAG 147 because her therapist has advised her to be more open about these things, Annabelle opens her statement with “Free will is a funny old thing, isn’t it Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.” Sure, it’s coincidence – but Gertrude was convinced, at first, that what she was dealing with was coincidence, too.

As for why Annabelle is doing this, I don’t know. Maybe the Lonely is as much in opposition to the Web as the Desolation is – after all, it’s difficult to manipulate someone in isolation – and she’s trying to impede Peter, not from stopping the Extinction but from benefiting from it, as Simon Fairchild says he will, thereby eliminating an enemy just as the Web did with Agnes and the Desolation. Maybe she’s trying to beat him to the same goal, establishing some level of control over someone beholden to the Ceaseless Watcher just as Peter is trying to gain control of Martin; Jon’s first experience with the supernatural involved the Web, and then there’s that Zippo. Maybe she has some goal all her own, some third option not yet even hinted at. Or maybe, like Jon, she’s acting on instinct, unable to do anything but “dance the steps [she is] assigned” (ibid), manipulating and spinning out her web because she’s incapable of doing anything else.

---

So I accidentally wrote 2.5k of wild conjecture about creepy spider people because I got stuck on the idea that there was a connection between the Zippo and Lietner’s death, that was fun. Shout out to @wildehacked for letting me yell about this and additional shout out to anyone involved in the wiki or the transcripts because oh goooooood would this have been more difficult to compile without being able to utilize those resources to check citations and grab most of the quotes. 

Quick edit to add a link to @caught-in-the-infinite‘s excellent alternative explanation for why Annabelle might have wanted Jared Hopworth to attack the Archives, which I think makes a lot more good sense than mine while also having even more ominous implications. 

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Still responding to social isolation by writing more weird shit.

I didn’t edit this at all either, so have fun. (content warning: mild gore, mild themes of self harm)

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Desember 25

Today is christmas and I got this diary. I also got lots of other things but my faveret is my dragon egg which I got from Aunt Sara. (She is not my Aunt but I call her Aunt Sara.) It is round and shiny and the size of my fist and looks like a rock. Aunt Sara ses that it will hatch if I give it love and keep it warm. This diary will be my special dragon diary.

Desember 26

I hugged my dragon egg all nite and sed I love you but it did not hatch. Max ses its not an egg its a rock so I hit him.

Desember 27

There are cracks in the egg. I sed I love you extra hard tonite.

Desember 30

It hatched! The dragon looks different to how I thort. It is squishy and long like a worm and yellow like gold. It has lots of teeth in a big ring and not big jaws like in the books. I didnt tell mum and dad about the dragon becose they say no pets. I am calling the dragon Golden.

January 1

What do dragons eat? Max ses they eat princesses but I don’t have any princesses. Dad calls me his princess but I dont think that is what he means.

January 2

I gave Golden bread and cat food and coins and banana but he didnt eat any of them. He looks skinny and sad. Shood I tell mum and dad?

January 3

Golden bit me! I tried to pet him and he bit my arm. It feels like fire in my arm and he drank some of my blood. He eats princesses after all then.

January 4

He bit me again. It hurts. I need to find a better way.

January 5

I cut my finger and squeezed out some blood for Golden. He ate it and got happy and I can pet him now. He only eats a little blood and I dont mind.

January 21

Mum sed my hands looked very cut. I sed I fell off my bike. I have to be more carful for feeding Golden.

Febuary 6

Today I thort Golden was dead. I patted him and he didn’t move. But he was not dead. I read about snakes and lizards and sometimes they peel off their skin so they can grow bigger. I looked close and there was something moving around inside Golden’s gold skin and he just came out! He is much smaller now, he is as long as my finger and as wide as my finger bones. He is silver colour now but I will still call him Golden.

Febuary 7

Golden wont eat his blood. Does he eat other things now? I looked at his face and he has no teeth to bite me, he has a drill thing. That is fine because I always feed him without him biting me. But if he cant’ bite then that must mean he dosnt’ eat blood now. What can he eat with a drill thing?

Febuary 8

I gave Golden some cooked pork and some raw pork and some veges and some bread and some blood. Hes’ not eating any of them. I am scared he will die. Shood I tell mum and dad?

Febuary 9

This is bad.

I pet Golden and he bit me again! Not with teeth. He jumped at me and driled into my arm. There is a hole in my arm. He went inside but I cant’ feel him inside. I put a bandaid on the hole. Will he come out soon?

Febuary 10

Where is Golden? I cant’ feel him inside. Did he come out at night? The bandaid is still on. I dont’ want to tell mum and dad becose I will get in trouble. I will wait a bit more. If it gets worse I will tell mum and dad.

09/03/18

Oh, wow! Here’s a blast from the past. I was going through my childhood belongings and found this old diary. I remember my imaginary dragon friend, but I certainly don’t remember any games about him eating his way into my arm! I was a weird child, apparently.

What was I trying to say here? Why was I playing a game with a dragon in my arm? Was this about the time I’d discovered my elbow was double-jointed? Or was it the shoulder first? No… the elbow, and the shoulder about a month later. Then the other arm, I think? I remember freaking my friends out with my newly discovered hypermobility and… not having an imaginary dragon friend any more. Maybe having something that made me special in real life took its place?

10/03/18

I keep looking at this book and wondering if perhaps I should keep a diary. It’s supposed to be good for the mind. But what would I write about? Everything worth writing about is, well, private. I hardly want to commit my deepening relationship with Simon or my worries about my career to paper!

Besides, my younger self seemed pretty adamant that this diary is about dragons. I shouldn’t be breaking that rule by writing this!

19/01/19

Something happened that belongs here. I think. I don’t know.

I’ve been rereading this stuff, and it feels… I mean, I remember all this as being imaginary, right? But how many of our childhood memories are actually real? Anyway.

I was in a motorbike accident yesterday.

I’m fine. Well, not fine. But I will be fine. I’m not going to hospital. I don’t think it’s a good idea for them to see.

I came off the side and, somehow, didn’t break any bones. That I know of. I just tore up my arms and the left side of my body. There was blood and pain, but… well, I don’t normally have accidents that cut me very deep, you know? Just through the skin, mostly. I know what’s supposed to be under the skin – fat, muscle, eventually bone. I’m certain there’s not meant to be scales down there. Hard, shiny silver scales, the colour of Golden right after his moult. But they’re there. The gravel didn’t cut deep enough to hit bone or organs, because it was stopped by the scales.

So I’m sitting at home, hoping that writing this down will help me decide what to do.

23/01/19

It’s been three days and the skin has almost completely grown back.

I can still feel it under there. The… other body. The thing beneath my skin and fat. And the thing is, it doesn’t feel different. It’s just how my body’s felt for as long as I can remember. My boyfriends have always commented on how strong and flexible I am, how hard and tones my muscles are, and it’s only occurring to me now that I don’t really get that much exercise. I had Simon over earlier, and his body doesn’t feel anything like mine.

I feel like I should be worried. I feel like I should feel different. But even if I’m not what I thought inside, I haven’t changed. I don’t know what to think.

13/02/19

I’m running some kind of fever. I don’t know what I’ve got, but there’s no way I’m going to a hospital. This skin is too hot, like a thick, warm blanket. I have to throw it off. I have to get cool.

13/02/19

I took it off. It hardly even hurt. I’ve cleaned everything up, brushed my scales to a shine. The reflection is… unfamiliar. I’m not used to seeing myself like this, without the disguise.

I still remember being the girl. The princess. At what point did she die? When did I eat enough of her that I was me, instead?

I’m not worried about the skin. It’ll grow back. I just needed to take it off for a bit, to cool down. I needed to moult.

28/04/19

Finally, my disguise is once again perfect. I’ll need to wear a wig; hair doesn’t grow very fast. But the skin is in place.

I’m going to need it soon. I need to start looking now. I can feel my body changing after my moult; I know that in a few months, I’ll lay my first egg. And I’ll need to work fast to be prepared; I only have a few months to find and choose a Princess, and convince her to take my daughter.

Wish me luck.

[cecilspeaks]

147 - The Protester

Hot singles in your area are staring into the forest and grinning absently. 

Welcome to Night Vale.

Astronomers are frantically trying to determine why a chunk of the moon is missing. Ragged and greedy like a slice removed from a pie by hungry hands rather than a civilized serving utensil, the gap in the moon has been baffling professional sky gazers for weeks. Fun fact: did you know a group of astronomers is called a commotion?

Astronomers believe the moon could be eroding, because people have stopped believing in it, like ancient Roman polytheism. Others have theorized that the moon was damaged by enemy ships in the ongoing Blood Space War. But people on the internet have countered that this is part of the mandala effect, and that that piece of the moon has always been missing and we’re collectively misremembering. Like how those beloved picture book bears that we all remember as the Berenstein Bears, have by all physical evidence always actually been spelled “The Dog Pound Boyzzzz”. Boyz with a Z. Because of the 2016 city ordinance that proclaimed that anything can be true if you say it loud enough, astronomers are forced to consider all sides.

I don’t know any astronomers, but I do know a scientist! My husband Carlos has been the leading scientific mind in Night Vale since we started dating, almost six years ago. Carlos says that he has been studying and interesting meteorite he found out in the sand wastes and scrublands beyond Night Vale. He believes this particular rock is a piece of the moon. Standing before a giant wall of blinking lights, flickering screens and intermittent beeps, Carlos determined that this piece of the moon broke off only one month ago. But this is impossible, because no one can remember seeing the moon breaking apart in the sky. Well, maybe we were all asleep when it happened, I told Carlos as I dabbed away a small crumb from a cheese Danish that had gotten stuck in his beard. Oh, fun fact: Carlos grew a beard! And I have never liked beards on men, but now – I do. It’s got two thin silver racing stripes down the chin, and the hair is so soft. We’ve been married over two years and every day, I fall more in love.

Oh right, the moon, OK good God, always with the moon. [mutters] Yeah, yeah… Carlos has been studying an unusual number of empty homes and businesses about town. He noticed that the houses on either side of us are completely empty, but he didn’t remember them being empty before. He remembers us having neighbors, but he couldn’t name a single thing about them. He believes this might be related to the damaged moon. Whatever happened a month ago to the moon immediately caused us all to forget it, because something in our timeline changed. Carlos said: “Perhaps we are not forgetting people and events, perhaps they never existed at all.” His eyes were cloudy with pensive thought, and I touched his furry cheek and said: “You’ll save us, hon. I know you will.” He smiled and asked if I’d be willing to reach out to archeology professor Harrison Kip again. Carlos, uh, had been communicating with Kip about this very issue, but now emails to Harrison keep bouncing back, and his phone number is no longer in the phone company’s database of working numbers. I laughed and said: “Carlos, I don’t know who Harrison Kip is!” Carlos looked worried, and said he wasn’t sure he did either. But he felt like he should.

Protestors have organized a sit in in front of city hall, demanding an end to the Blood Space War. The city council, seeing the crowd of about 150 people gathered around the front entrance of their building, took immediate action. They announced they would be taking a long planned family vacation to the Badlands National Park in South Dakota, until this whole protest thing runs its course. “We don’t believe South Dakota actually exists,” the single-bodied, multi-voiced council said. “When you look at a map, it seems like it exists, like it’s just right there when you look at it and it’s between two other identical states, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. Anyway, this feels like a great time to take the kids to see Mount Rushmore.” As the city council said this, several small childlike heads emerged from the city council’s singular body and screamed in happy unison. Or terrified unison. Mm, it’s hard to get an emotional reading on screams.

The organizer of the protest is 20-year-old Night Vale community college student, Basimah Bishara, whose father Lieutenant Fakir Bishara returned home from the Blood Space War three years ago. Basimah greeted her father’s return with joy, but that joy has since been replaced by confusion and pain. Let’s hear Basimah’s story in her own words.

Basimah: Time no longer works correctly for my father. I understand time does not work correctly for many people in Night Vale, but it had always worked correctly for him before the war. In December 2015, he returned home after 11 years of serving our city, our country, our planet in a war that still makes no sense to me. I was six when he volunteered for service, he was 30. 11 years later when he returned home, I was 17. My father was 19. He did not remember joining in the war nor having a daughter nor meeting his wife. He is a teenager, like I was. I no longer am a teenager, but my father still is. He has stayed 19 years old. Time no longer works correctly for him.

My mother Tahira raised me. She expressed reticence about the band I started, the music we played. She grounded me when my grades slipped and shouted at me when I told her I had a girlfriend. But she came to love Marina and more, my mother came to understand as both as people, as women. Not as rivers to be damned or levied.

My father’s return has been especially hard on her, because she is 45 and her husband is a 19-year-old stranger. You probably know what it’s like to have a father, to have a man much older than you who changed your diapers or watched your diapers being changed. Who taught you to speak or ride a bike, who helped you develop as a human from an animal from a larva from the simplest, squirming wad of meat into an adult. That father will always be a father, not a friend, not an equal, a father. You probably do not know what it’s like to see a father at your age, to talk with your father when he is also barely an adult. To have your father lonely and inquisitive think of you as his only friend in the world, while you look to him for guidance and love. But he is incapable of both, at least not in the way you need to be guided and loved.

It took two years for Fakir to open up about the war and it still makes no sense to him nor me. The Blood Space War requires constant shifts through time, through worm holes to change lost battles into won battles, to undo what has already been undone thousands, millions of times over. The future does not look like a blank page, it looks like a tattered sheet of paper, grayed and frayed from countless transcriptions and erasures of history. Battles are won and then undone through time travel. We lose our lives and then regain them by traveling backwards and fighting again. We are winning the war by perpetuating the war. Last month, the Polonians attacked our earth, I am sure of it. The only evidence is our broken moon. I believe the general undid this attack with time travel and this has changed our reality, changed who was born, who ever lived in the first place. People are disappearing because they will have never existed.

People think we’re crazy for protesting. I’m 20 and my father is still 19. I’m not crazy. My mother Tahira is not crazy. We are angry.

Our next protest is scheduled this afternoon at the corner of Earl and Somerset by the Dog Park near the Ralphs.

Cecil: Not sure what Basimah was referring to. That’s an empty lot by the Ralphs. There was word for a dog park to be built there many years ago, but it never materialized.

[clears throat] Let’s have a look now at local news. Earth sciences professor Simone Rigideau announced today that she is scrapping all text books and lesson plans at the community college in favor of organized prayer to a god named Huntokar. Several students and parents argued against such an extreme divergence from core curriculum in favor of French religious practices, but college president Sarah Sultan supported her staff member by saying: “Cut Simone some slack. She doesn’t even teach classes. She’s a transient who lived in a storage closet inside the earth sciences building for 20 years. The only reason she has the title of professor is because of antiquated squatter’s rights laws.” Rigideau donned rabbit furs and an old bicycle frame wraught into the shape of antlers, and began spray paintin the Fibonacci sequence on the cars in the college parking lot, all the while singing a ballad about clocks.

The intergalactic military headquarters released their first quarter earnings statmenet this week. Investors were displeased to see that each of the board members of the privately own space defense contractor had purchased a 125-foot yachts and NFL franchises. But those fears were quickly allayed by the announcement of layoffs of more than 5,000 employees. Stock prices for the intergalactic military soared to an all time high this afternoon, at 490 dollars a share. Senior strategic advisor Jameson Archibald said the intergalactic military has no actual earned income. 100 per cent of their gross is from venture capital. Archibald said: “Some investors keep asking how we plan to monetize our military, which is a stupid question, man! I mean, look at this Patek Philippe watch I bought. It’s encrusted with 10 pounds of diamonds, and the watch face was made using an actual piece of the Sistine Chapel. We are doing fine.” Archibald added that the intergalactic military is developing an app and a subscription service that allows people to engage in celestial war fare any time they want for only 12,99 a month.

Alright, listeners, I heard back from Basimah, and she said I was right. There is no dog park. Of course I was right. If I knew there was a dog park being built in this town, I would have reported it immediately. Carlos and I have a dog. His name is Aubergine because he’s purple and European, and Auby is adorable and we love him dearly. I mean, I wasn’t into the idea of having to care for a dog, but Carlos strongly urged this case one morning over breakfast when he said, “I think we should get a dog”, and 20 minutes later, we were leaving the SPCA with our adopted pet. [clears throat]

Basimah said she was positive there was a dog park next to the Ralphs, but when she arrived at the corner of Earl and Somerset, it was all empty lots. To be honest, I don’t remember her mentioning a Ralphs before, because I would have corrected her. There’s never been a Ralphs affiliate in Night Vale. This is what Basimah had to say. Um, hang on, let me just insert the tape I used to record her. And there we go.

Basimah: If a person never exists, did they disappear? If you never knew them, can you miss them? My father spends most of his days playing basketball with friends he made at the rec center. He is 19 years old and trying to escape a decade of inescapable drama from warfare. Asked him who my mother was. I grew up with only my uncle Omar and did not know my parents until my father returned from war. Fakir did not remember my mother. He did not remember his marriage or my birth, because it has not happened yet in his timeline. Asked what if mother didn’t exist at all. What if the general’s time traveling has altered our lives so much that my mother was never born and you can never meet her. My father, the teenager said: “If I never met a woman, I do not know I will not miss her. But I’ll meet another woman.” I asked: “What if I was never born?” My dad said: “Basi?” He hid his tears and then he hugged me, but it was not the hug of a father and daughter. It was the hug of a son and mother. He buried his head into my shoulder and sobbed, repeating: “Basi! Basi!” And I comforted his heaving head with my palm. I said: “Father, Fakir. I think I shall no longer exist soon. [voice fades] I think I-

Oh OK, sorry for the dead air, listeners, I was playing a recording of an interview I did. Wait, nope. I just checked, there’s no tape in the player at all. I thought I had been talking with… Ugh. Aah! Who have I been talking to? Maybe it was my husband Carlos reporting on his findings about the damage done to our moon or, mh, or maybe it was nothing at all. [clears throat] Well, let us forget that we forgot, and go now To the weather.

[Shake” by Wednesday’s Wolves https://www.wednesdayswolves.com]

We have an update on the Blood Space War, Night Vale. John Peters says his brother has returned home again. When he left a month ago, James Peters was 22 years old. But he is now in his seventies, which is the age he should be. John held his brother tightly, crying in gratitude and relief that his own family could return to some kind of normalcy. James at first was heartened to see John again, to see his home again, and to learn that he and the general had thwarted the Polonian attack on our planet. But his tearful smile drifted slowly downward, an evening shadow overtaken by night. Upon James’ face now was the sudden knowledge that he had made a grave error. James looked around Night Vale seeing empty lots and homes, abandoned buildings and sparse streets. According to James, thousands of people have gone missing from Night Vale, because they never existed or never moved here in the first place. The general had leapt in time to successfully stop the Polonians from ever reaching Earth, but the change in the timeline caused Night Vale to change too.

Listeners, this may seem strange, but perhaps there are people you once knew, family you once lived with, places you were in, all of which are gone, and without your knowing. I have tried hard to think of any memory of any experience or person I have lost in the last month, but I can think of none. I told James Peters that perhaps the change in timeline did not matter if no one knew what they had lost, if no one noticed any change. James said: “Cecil, I just don’t know. I don’t know. Maybe if we had a scientific perspective on this, we could better understand how this is affecting us as a community.” And I said I didn’t know any scientists, not personally anyway. There’s the strange woman who lives in the storage closet at the community college, I suppose we could ask her.

The important thing is that we are safe, and that another veteran has returned home, and it is another beautiful day in Night Vale.

Stay tuned next for “Conspiring to Love”, our new relationship advice show, which as a lifelong bachelor sounds like something I should check out.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: “Nothing lasts forever” is a phrase with two meanings, and they’re both true.

[belmontsfate]

Day 6: Reckless

- The Year of our Lord 1104 -

It was another sunny day in Rosewood Village as Simon emerged from the inn, letting out a loud yawn as he soaked up the sun’s warm rays. This village had been his home for a little less than a year now, and he had made a bit of a life for himself since. He worked as a hunter, selling the meat and furs to the inn in exchange for free room and board. The job suited Simon, and he enjoyed it well enough.

The village was peaceful, to say the least. A bit too peaceful for his taste, but he was slowly growing accustomed to it. At times he thought about returning to visit the people of White Mountain who had taken him in after his parent’s death, but he could never bring himself to go. As much as he appreciated what they did for him, the place was not his true home. It never had been. His true home had been destroyed by Dracula’s Legions.

With a few hours to spare before he had to head into the forest and begin his workday, he started on his way to a special spot of his. Behind the local church was a field of flowers. Women and children often came to pick the flowers, making bouquets and flower-crowns out of them. However, the place held a different meaning to him. It was the place where he had first met his lady love, Selena.

Selena was the daughter of one of the village elders and was by far the most beautiful woman in the whole village. At least, he thought so. She was twenty-seven years old, a whole ten years younger than him, and had been married once before, though only briefly as her husband had died about a month later. She had remained unmarried since. Most of the men of the village believed her to be cursed and were too frightened to even consider marrying her. They were all a bunch of cowards in Simon’s opinion.

When he got there, he found his beautiful Selena kneeling amongst the flowers. Seeing that she was alone in the field, he approached her, watching silently for a moment as she picked flowers, placing them into the basket that sat beside her.

“Good morning, Selena,” he greeted her.

Selena jumped, dropping the flowers in her hand. After a moment, she glanced up at him, revealing the tears flowing from her hazel-green eyes. “G-Good morning, Simon,” she greeted him back, managing to force a tiny smile.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight. “Selena, what’s wrong?” he asked. “Why are you crying?”

Selena did not reply at first, as she tried to hold back her tears, but the tears just kept coming and coming. Finally, she got to her feet and turned to face Simon fully. “I-I’m scared…” she sobbed.

He was not particularly good at comforting people, especially a crying maiden, but he did the best he could, trying to recall how his mother and father used to comfort him as a boy. It had been a long time, but he remembered feeling comforted by a simple hug.

Not knowing what else to do, he reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace, trying his best to be mindful of his strength so as not to squish her. “Why are you scared?” he asked. “You know you have nothing to fear with me around.”

He kept her in his embrace until he heard her sobs stop and her breathing returned to normal. Only then, did he step back, wiping the remaining tears from her eyes with his calloused fingers.

“I think I’m … Pregnant …”

Simon felt himself stiffen. To say that it was unexpected was an understatement. He had thought that someone was harassing her again. He was even ready to go beat up whoever it was, but this … His brain wasn’t even able to fully comprehend it at the moment.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded her head. “All the signs point to it.”

Perhaps it was just his imagination, or perhaps it was just because she had just told him she was pregnant, but he thought he noticed something a bit different about her. Her face seemed to be glowing. It was only after he noticed this, that his brain started to function properly again. Everything about the situation began to sink in.

Selena was pregnant. That meant he was going to be a father. The idea seemed daunting to him, but that was the least of his concerns. He finally understood why she was scared. The two of them were not married. He had gotten her pregnant out of wedlock. This would only ruin her reputation even more. He felt like punching himself for getting her into this mess.

“Have you told anyone else?” he asked.

“Only my parents, who are … displeased, to say the least …”

Simon cringed. He could imagine just how happy her parents were. Her mother never did like him that much, to begin with. He had a fairly civil relationship with her father, but that was most likely gone now.

“I have to know … Do you plan to abandon me now?” she asked hesitantly. “My mother told me you would leave me once I told you.”

Instead of answering, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her with every ounce of passion in his body. 

Selena let out a startled yelp but soon melted in his arms, returning the kiss.

Simon couldn’t believe that she thought he would abandon her. Only her mother would think to tell her something like that. He may have grown up in the care of mountain people and possess the manners of a wild beast at times, but that didn’t mean he was a wild beast. Underneath it all, he was just a boy who had lost his family at a young age, and the more he thought about it, the more he grew to like the idea of starting a family with Selena.

Pulling away, he looked her directly in the eye, wanting her to know just how serious he was.

“I have always been a reckless man. Even as a child, I would act without stopping to think of the consequences,” he explained. “However, I am not a coward like the men of this village. I will take responsibility for my actions. I will not allow you to suffer the consequences of my recklessness alone.”

He could see the hope sparkling in her eyes. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

He nodded his head. “I’ve wanted to make you my wife for a while now, even before you told me you were with child. I love you, Selena. You’re the only woman that’s ever managed to worm her way into my heart, and I do not want to be separated from you … ever …”

She grinned from ear to ear. “I love you too, Simon Belmont.”

Overwhelmed with love and happiness, he swept her off her feet, carrying her in his big, strong arms. “Then let us go get married right now,” he suggested, starting towards the church.

Selena giggled at his romantic gesture. “Shouldn’t you at least ask my father first?” she reminded him.

He stopped for a moment, realizing that what she said was true. “Like I said … I’m reckless,” he said with a slight chuckle.

She shook her head at him. “Well, you better go ask him before you get into even more trouble.”

“As you wish.”

And with that, he changed his route, heading straight towards the elder’s home, still carrying Selena in his arms, grinning like an idiot as he went.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The 100 6x13 "The Blood of Sanctum" Review

Well, The 100 fans, how are we feeling? Tonight we watched the last season finale The 100 is ever going to give us (the next will be a SERIES finale) and I must say, this is perhaps the first time a finale from this show has left me unsatisfied. Let’s delve into why that is:

Closing Season 6 was always going to be a bit of a challenge. We entered this season with perhaps one strong “A” plot and a minor subplot. We walked out with approximately five more plot lines and none of them are ones I’d consider minor. It’s astonishing to me that The 100 managed to craft a finale that not only didn’t close a single one of it’s existing plot lines adequately but also opened up, quite literally, an entirely new can of worms (anyone remember when worms where a thing on this show?). Let’s run through the list shall we: 

Worm Number One: Have You Seen This Boy?

We start the season with the mystery of the Primes, and although we now know exactly what they are and the vast majority of them have been floated, we are left with Russell the Eighth and Priya’s mind drive, clutched securely in the grasp of a now brainwashed Jordan. If it wasn’t obvious enough that Jordan is “under the influence” so to speak, we watch the camera focus on his adjuster while he chats with Bellamy in the finale, proclaiming that he is fine even as he spouts out pieces of information that would make me question that if I were in Bellamy’s shoes. The Prime plot, which could have ended this season, will now make its way into Season 7, where the cult that we were introduced to in this final episode will have a more active role in disrupting the peace. I wouldn’t be surprised if a large part of Jordan’s role next season is finding a new host for Priya and I can’t bring it in me to be upset about that. 

In a season where Jordan Jasper Green was one of the most anticipated new additions to the cast he was sorely under-utilized. We listened to various characters recite Monty’s charge to do better all season, but they all failed Monty and Harper where it mattered the most: their son. Shannon Kook is an expert at bringing a Harper-esque zest for life mixed with Monty’s desire to live better and it was a promising combination and one that was lost after episode 5 of this season. While I understand the appeal of first love, especially when you’ve never met anyone who wasn’t related to you or one of your parent’s friends, it is frustrating to me that so much of Jordan’s why is trapped in Priya nee Delilah. It would have been far more interesting to see Jordan take up the mantle Monty and Harper left behind and become the new moral compass of the group, even barring that, I would have been more interested in watching this man-child explore a world that was bigger than the space of the Eligius ship. Opportunity was squandered there and we’ll never get a return on the investment we made. 

Worm Number Two: Prime Schmimes

Along with Jordan holding on to Priya’s mind drive comes the need for another host and I have an idea of where he might find one. As I’ve mentioned in my YouTube videos and Twitter threads, they don’t make people Nightbloods for no reason. You need look no further than the Griffin ladies to see that: Clarke, Madi and Abby were all made Nightbloods (born or created) to further storylines and Echo (Ash) will be no different. Although she was spared the privilege of hosting Simone, she is currently the only available Nightblood we know of. Russell is also aware of her status and in the finale he quite clearly states that he wants revenge. He may not be able to bring his family back, but all it takes is one mole in the works to help him achieve that, and he has at least two (Jordan and the adjuster — not to mention the possibility of all of the Children of Gabriel who were brainwashed as well). It would also be revenge for Ryker at the very least — his mother’s mind hosted in the body of the woman who murdered him. While Echo does have the neural mesh (she entered the City of Light as well) and has not been exposed to an EMP, we learned in this episode that Russell was careful to examine Abby before he put Simone’s drive in her — to ensure that there was no failsafe. It’s entirely possible that they can shock Echo with an EMP and implant Priya’s drive and further move Russell’s revenge plot along. After all it was love that drove Gabriel to create immortality, what will love drive Jordan to do?

Worm Number Three: Skynet? Is That You?

Some foreign line of code has managed to find a home in the Eligius ship’s hard drive. While trying to save Madi (and we’ll discuss that in a bit), they essentially crash the Flame, allowing them to remove it without the need for the passcode. While this is happening, Madi and the Dark Commander are fighting a bitter battle for control of her body. I believe that — if one isn’t paying enough attention — it’s easy to say that the reason the Dark Commander disappeared from Madi’s body is because they removed the Flame, but I’m going to hazard a guess that he — like any other virus — realized his removal was imminent and adapted to the situation, leaving Madi’s brain and uploading himself into the Eligius computers. 

What does that mean for Season 7 and how will we see him return? Yana Grebenyuk (@yanawrites on Twitter — make sure to watch this space for her finale write up!) postulates that we might actually see him in two places next season! As a rub to Diyoza, who laughed at Gaia teaching Madi how to control the Flame (anyone remember what Gaia says during this scene: “A mind can’t be in two places at once”) Yana speculated that she might actually be trapped with him in the, wait for it, past! We know that the anomaly deals with time and space and we know that when Octavia went in she was gone for some time. Now it seems we have an estimate on how long. Hope is at least 20 years old when she stumbles into the tent and she and Octavia clearly know each other well. As Hope embraces Octavia, stabbing her — much as Clarke did with Finn — she tells her “He still has her” when Octavia asks about Diyoza. Hope’s appearance is very much Grounder-chic and it would also tie into why we learned about Indra seeing the Dark Commander once when she was young. 

Further, with his consciousness now uploaded onto the Eligius ship there’s no limit to what the Dark Commander might be able to get up to now. Maybe this is the true beginning of Terminator’s Skynet. With all of that being said: it is rather disappointing that, even with the close of “Book One” a part of the series’ final struggle will still boil down to the Grounders. It’s been 131 years, two nuclear apocalypses, a new planet and a new cult system (the Primes) and we still can’t seem to shake them. It feels like the show should have been called “Grounders” instead of “The 100” for the amount of focus given to them and it’s disheartening. At least for me. 

Worm Number Four: The Little Whipping Girl

Clarke, my poor girl. Bradbury may be Bellamy’s middle name, but hers is definitely suffering. This season we’ve watched Clarke be isolated both physically and emotionally from the people she’d once called friends. We watch her put herself out there and have a bit of fun, only to wind up almost kidnapped and taken to the Children of Gabriel. We watch her die, fight viciously inside of her own mind to survive, almost die again, be revived by Bellamy and then realize that while she was dealing with that struggle, her child was losing her own mental battle, and then we watch her lose her mother.  

No one person should have to be strong enough to deal with all of that loss and yet Clarke manages it effortlessly every season. We know (thanks to Executive Producer Jason Rothenberg’s Hypable interview with Selina Wilken) that Clarke will be dealing with the grief of losing her mother as Season 7 begins. While I am grateful that she is being given the opportunity to do so, because grief is something that is so often rushed through on this show, I am also concerned about how this will affect Clarke’s issues with isolation. For six seasons now, Clarke has consistently been on the outside of the group looking in, due in large part to her status as lead, forcing her to be the character we follow around to each new location and each new group. Although Jason notes that Clarke will be perhaps even more protective of her family with her recent loss, I don’t necessarily know if the show has the chops to make that work. 

It doesn’t help that her best friend (script confirmed) Bellamy now has his own issues to deal with, which leads me directly into...Worm Number Five.

Worm Number Five: We Call That….Regression?

Many of you reading this initially found me via Tumblr or Twitter or YouTube, all places where a huge part of my online persona is my love for and defense of one Bellamy Blake. He has been my favorite character from the moment he appeared on the screen in the pilot episode and I have been in his corner ever since. We’ve watched him, over the course of six seasons,  mature, moving past the unhealthy relationship he’s had with Octavia since her birth resulted in both siblings carrying a weight they were too young for, growing into a man who left behind the self loathing and resentment of the past and stepped into the self love. If you’d’ve asked me yesterday what my favorite arc on The 100 is, I would have replied without hesitation “Bellamy’s character arc!”

I’m no longer sure I can do that. After the events of last season, which culminated in Octavia putting Bellamy in the pit alongside Gaia and Indra and forcing them to fight to their possible deaths, burning the farm Monty cultivated and then forcing her people into battle out of necessity, it seemed as if Bellamy was finally ready to separate from the lifelong co-dependent relationship he shared with Octavia. The Season 6 finale has appeared to effectively erase that growth in one fell swoop. Just a few episodes ago we listened as Bellamy told Octavia she was still his sister, but she could no longer be his responsibility and this episode we watched as Octavia was stabbed and misted right out of Bellamy’s arms and into the anomaly. The season ends with Bellamy calling Octavia’s name as the anomaly recedes once more. 

In post-finale interviews (again see Selina’s Hypable link above) Jason is clear that finding Octavia is a huge part of Bellamy’s drive in Season 7 (going so far as to compare it to Bellamy’s desire to save Clarke in Season 6), and while I can admire, respect and even understand a brother’s desire to find a lost sibling, it’s a huge walkback (literally almost 360 degrees) on Bellamy’s arc since Season 1. What is the point of watching a show, seeing its characters evolve and grow and change and mature if, in the final season, we watch them revert back to who they were in the pilot episode? Will Clarke always be a girl who’s lost a parent abandoned on a new world? Will Bellamy always be nothing more than his sister’s keeper? Will Octavia always be hidden away somewhere? People aren’t watching television shows to see characters wind up where they began. We watch for the hope that our current situations (whatever those may be) won’t last forever. That growth can be permanent, that who we are now doesn’t have to define who we become, but as we head into Season 7, I’m not entirely convinced The 100 is aware of that. 

Worm Number Six: Madi’s Mad as a Hatter...or is She?

Madi’s plot is perhaps the only one that was wrapped up (even as the Dark Commander clearly continues his nefarious deeds elsewhere) but it was done so haphazardly I was left unsatisfied. We have watched Madi deal with the Dark Commander in her head all season, we’ve watched as she’s slowly folded under his control and we watched her break when it’s revealed that Clarke is dead. It does make sense that learning Clarke is alive would bring her back. What doesn’t make sense is how swiftly that’s dealt with. It took the Dark Commander days or weeks (I’m unsure of Season 6’s timeline right now) to successfully set up a home in Madi’s brain and simply seeing Clarke threaten suicide (and also — what a message to send to...lots of people...I understand that Clarke went through a lot this season, but even with the loss of your mother, even with the potential loss of your daughter, you can still fight) was enough to snap his hold on Madi almost immediately. 

It’s not realistic. I can understand the need to bring Madi back into the picture, but I think it might have played a bit better if the struggle was more prolonged, perhaps even something they needed to put her back into cryo until next season to discover. Unfortunately the choice was made, and a plot line that bit significantly into others ended with extreme prejudice in about two seconds flat. 

Worm Number Seven: Make it Make Sense

(The above image is NOT edited.) The constant will they, won’t they of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship needs to end now. Even as Jason tells fans that we (as a collective unit) all misunderstood what Bellamy’s drive was in saving Clarke (again see the Hypable interview linked above), he tells EW that "There were a few seasons in the middle of the run where we didn't know, we legitimately were on the bubble and were always trying to engineer something that could possibly be a series ender and a season ender, you know? I have for a while known thematically and like you say, in a general way, what I want the ending to be. I knew what I wanted it to feel like, I knew what I wanted it to say."  

When you look back on the middle season finales (which for a seven season run would be Seasons 3-5) Jason has been crafting a very clear endgame, and that endgame is Bellamy and Clarke, together, facing their next adventure. 

Season 3 ends with Bellamy and Clarke, in the  Polis throne room, standing in front of Lexa's throne. They are united (literally touching), watching their people recover from the effects of ALIE, some wounded (like Jaha), others embracing the people they love (Kabby, Briller, Memori). Clarke delivers the news about the reactors melting down, that they haven't won just yet, and then Octavia kills Pike and walks away. Season 3 ends with Bellamy and Clarke — together — preparing to face their next challenge. 

The Season 4 finale is a bit more ambiguous, because Bellamy and Clarke are physically separated but the notes are still there. We come into Clarke making a radio call and she is speaking to Bellamy specifically. She says "I still have hope" — that call back to the "You still have hope?/We still breathing" moment that sent the Bellarke fandom into ecstatic spirals of joy and — as a ship bursts through the atmosphere — Clarke stands, her breathing quickens, she smiles and she says "Never mind, I see you" and "I See You" (Confirmed by Tree Adams to be written for and about Bellarke), plays in the background.

Even as we watch Clarke's joy turn into apprehension when she realizes that's NOT Becca's rocket and instead says prisoner transport — if the series had ended here, in this moment — it's possible that it could have been Bellamy (and the others) walking off of the Eligius ship and in fact, that was the most common theory during the hiatus: that Bellamy and the others had joined up with the Eligius crew to combat the fuel issue, which wasn't far off. The series would have ended on the assumption that it was Bellamy walking off of that ship, reunited with Clarke and together again, facing the challenge of repopulating a barren Earth (after they dug out the bunker of course) and because we didn't have any updates on the Space Squad until Season 5 premiered, we also would have been left without the knowledge that Bellamy and Ash (aka Echo) were a thing. 

Season 5 ends with Bellamy pulling Clarke into his side, both crying, both leaning on each other (with Jordan in the background) united and about to take on this journey (the discovery of a new planet) — together — again. And yes, I know a lot of people were upset about this ending because Bellamy and Ash/Echo were still a "couple", but again, I want to point you back to Jason saying that he was writing these as series finales and he knew what he wanted those finales to feel like and what he wanted them to say.

The theme of the Season 3-5 finales has always been "Bellamy and Clarke, together, facing the next adventure." and the feeling has always been that Bellamy and Clarke and their relationship to one another are the center of the story, that if the story ends here, Bellamy and Clarke are together. I'd even go so far as to say that the theme of Season 4 and Season 5's finales specifically has been about hope and renewal. The opportunity to do and be better in a "new" place. 

And that’s fine and dandy. What’s not fine is when this relationship is deliberately given romantic beats, framing and lines in an effort to draw or retain an audience with no payoff. Again, people are not watching television for the never before seen plot twists. People watch television for the characters. They stay for the characters. Friends is one of the most successful shows of all time on the strength of the relationships it showcased as an example, and the same can be said for many other great shows. It’s when showrunners forget that, believing that the story they are so desperate to tell is more important than the audience who have given them the ability to tell that story, that everyone suffers. One need look no further than the recent endings of Game of Thrones and Veronica Mars for evidence of that. 

Make the story clear. Make it plain. Your audience deserves that. 

In conclusion, The 100 season finales work better when they are written as series finales. Given the knowledge that he would have one more season to close out the show the way he wants to, Rothenberg leaned too far into the chaos of Episode 12 (“Adjustment Protocol”) and left audiences with a bitter, unfinished taste in their mouths. With only 16 episodes left to satisfactorily wrap up all of the arcs he opened or left open this season, I’m not convinced we won’t be seeing a repeat of Game of Thrones. 

April’s episode rating: 🐝.5

P.S. A Good Worm: 

If you’re like me and you need something to look forward to as we enter the long hiatus before the final season of The 100, think about making your way to Conageddon! Located in Boston, Massachusetts, and this year held on April 3rd-5th,  it is The 100’s only American convention and as someone who’s been before (and will be back) it’s a weekend packed with fun and friends. Tickets haven’t gone on sale just yet, but make sure you watch this space for more information, including cast information and ticket pricing!