#simon snow is the worst chosen one to have ever been chosen

[book--brackets]

Simon Snow by Rainbow Rowell (2015-2021)

Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who’s ever been chosen.

That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.

Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story—but far, far more monsters.

Gentleman Bastard by Scott Lynch (2006-present)

An orphan's life is harsh — and often short — in the island city of Camorr, built on the ruins of a mysterious alien race. But born with a quick wit and a gift for thieving, Locke Lamora has dodged both death and slavery, only to fall into the hands of an eyeless priest known as Chains — a man who is neither blind nor a priest.

A con artist of extraordinary talent, Chains passes his skills on to his carefully selected "family" of orphans — a group known as the Gentlemen Bastards. Under his tutelage, Locke grows to lead the Bastards, delightedly pulling off one outrageous confidence game after another. Soon he is infamous as the Thorn of Camorr, and no wealthy noble is safe from his sting.

Passing themselves off as petty thieves, the brilliant Locke and his tightly knit band of light-fingered brothers have fooled even the criminal underworld's most feared ruler, Capa Barsavi. But there is someone in the shadows more powerful — and more ambitious — than Locke has yet imagined.

Known as the Gray King, he is slowly killing Capa Barsavi's most trusted men — and using Locke as a pawn in his plot to take control of Camorr's underworld. With a bloody coup under way threatening to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the Gray King at his own brutal game — or die trying...

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke (2020)

Piranesi's house is no ordinary building: its rooms are infinite, its corridors endless, its walls are lined with thousands upon thousands of statues, each one different from all the others. Within the labyrinth of halls an ocean is imprisoned; waves thunder up staircases, rooms are flooded in an instant. But Piranesi is not afraid; he understands the tides as he understands the pattern of the labyrinth itself. He lives to explore the house. 

There is one other person in the house--a man called The Other, who visits Piranesi twice a week and asks for help with research into A Great and Secret Knowledge. But as Piranesi explores, evidence emerges of another person, and a terrible truth begins to unravel, revealing a world beyond the one Piranesi has always known.

The Broken Earth Trilogy by N. K. Jemisin (2015-2017)

This is the way the world ends. . .for the last time.

It starts with the great red rift across the heart of the world's sole continent, spewing ash that blots out the sun. It starts with death, with a murdered son and a missing daughter. It starts with betrayal, and long dormant wounds rising up to fester. 

This is the Stillness, a land long familiar with catastrophe, where the power of the earth is wielded as a weapon. And where there is no mercy.

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (2011)

Conor has the same dream every night, ever since his mother first fell ill, ever since she started the treatments that don't quite seem to be working. But tonight is different. Tonight, when he wakes, there's a visitor at his window. It's ancient, elemental, a force of nature. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor. It wants the truth.

Patrick Ness takes the final idea of the late, award-winning writer Siobhan Dowd and weaves an extraordinary and heartbreaking tale of mischief, healing and above all, the courage it takes to survive.

The Sandman by Neil Gaiman (1990-2003)

In PRELUDES & NOCTURNES, an occultist attempting to capture Death to bargain for eternal life traps her younger brother Dream instead. After his 70 year imprisonment and eventual escape, Dream, also known as Morpheus, goes on a quest for his lost objects of power. On his arduous journey Morpheus encounters Lucifer, John Constantine, and an all-powerful madman.

The Poppy War by R. F. Kuang (2018-2020)

When Rin aced the Keju—the Empire-wide test to find the most talented youth to learn at the Academies—it was a shock to everyone: to the test officials, who couldn’t believe a war orphan from Rooster Province could pass without cheating; to Rin’s guardians, who believed they’d finally be able to marry her off and further their criminal enterprise; and to Rin herself, who realized she was finally free of the servitude and despair that had made up her daily existence. That she got into Sinegard—the most elite military school in Nikan—was even more surprising.

But surprises aren’t always good.

Because being a dark-skinned peasant girl from the south is not an easy thing at Sinegard. Targeted from the outset by rival classmates for her color, poverty, and gender, Rin discovers she possesses a lethal, unearthly power—an aptitude for the nearly-mythical art of shamanism. Exploring the depths of her gift with the help of a seemingly insane teacher and psychoactive substances, Rin learns that gods long thought dead are very much alive—and that mastering control over those powers could mean more than just surviving school.

For while the Nikara Empire is at peace, the Federation of Mugen still lurks across a narrow sea. The militarily advanced Federation occupied Nikan for decades after the First Poppy War, and only barely lost the continent in the Second. And while most of the people are complacent to go about their lives, a few are aware that a Third Poppy War is just a spark away . . .

Rin’s shamanic powers may be the only way to save her people. But as she finds out more about the god that has chosen her, the vengeful Phoenix, she fears that winning the war may cost her humanity . . . and that it may already be too late.

Villains by V. E. Schwab (2013-present)

Victor and Eli started out as college roommates—brilliant, arrogant, lonely boys who recognized the same sharpness and ambition in each other. In their senior year, a shared research interest in adrenaline, near-death experiences, and seemingly supernatural events reveals an intriguing possibility: that under the right conditions, someone could develop extraordinary abilities. But when their thesis moves from the academic to the experimental, things go horribly wrong.

Ten years later, Victor breaks out of prison, determined to catch up to his old friend (now foe), aided by a young girl whose reserved nature obscures a stunning ability. Meanwhile, Eli is on a mission to eradicate every other super-powered person that he can find—aside from his sidekick, an enigmatic woman with an unbreakable will. Armed with terrible power on both sides, driven by the memory of betrayal and loss, the archnemeses have set a course for revenge—but who will be left alive at the end?

Uprooted by Naomi Novik (2015)

Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life.

Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood.

The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her.

But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.

Legacy of Orisha by Tomi Adeyemi (2018-2024)

They killed my mother. They took our magic. They tried to bury us. Now we rise. Zélie Adebola remembers when the soil of Orïsha hummed with magic. Burners ignited flames, Tiders beckoned waves, and Zélie's Reaper mother summoned forth souls. But everything changed the night magic disappeared. Under the orders of a ruthless king, maji were killed, leaving Zélie without a mother and her people without hope. Now Zélie has one chance to bring back magic and strike against the monarchy. With the help of a rogue princess, Zélie must outwit and outrun the crown prince, who is hell-bent on eradicating magic for good. Danger lurks in Orïsha, where snow leoponaires prowl and vengeful spirits wait in the waters. Yet the greatest danger may be Zélie herself as she struggles to control her powers -and her growing feelings for an enemy.

[queereads-bracket]

Queer Fantasy Books Bracket: Round 1

Book summaries and submitted endorsements below:

The Simon Snow series (Carry On, Wayward Son, Any Way the Wind Blows) by Rainbow Rowell

Endorsement from submitter: we love a book that started as a fanfiction concept in ANOTHER book and spiraled into an actual three-part series! featuring loveable characters, the problems of no-longer being the chosen one and a kiss that was literally ON FIRE! we love vampire/human romances with long pining. we love the building of an entire now friendship and we love the concept of a magic school that is happy(ish) and much better than that of JKR's.

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Fantasy, young adult, romance, mystery, series

The Hands of the Emperor (The Hands of the Emperor, At the Feet of the Sun, and other stories) by Victoria Goddard

An impulsive word can start a war. A timely word can stop one. A simple act of friendship can change the course of history. Cliopher Mdang is the personal secretary of the Last Emperor of Astandalas, the Lord of Rising Stars, the Lord Magus of Zunidh, the Sun-on-Earth, the god. He has spent more time with the Emperor of Astandalas than any other person. He has never once touched his lord. He has never called him by name. He has never initiated a conversation. One day Cliopher invites the Sun-on-Earth home to the proverbially remote Vangavaye-ve for a holiday. The mere invitation could have seen Cliopher executed for blasphemy. The acceptance upends the world. Fantasy, secondary world, politics, romance, adult, series

[haveyoureadthispoll]

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up.

[aurumacadicus]

Alright my friends, it's time to choose the book for February! Our theme for the month: Romance! I'm not original. However, the bar for romance was skimming the floor and so we have a wide variety of titles to choose from! If you'd like to join the book club, send me a message and I'll send you the link to our Discord! The summaries for the titles are under the cut!

Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye

Reader, I murdered him. A Gothic retelling of Jane Eyre. Like the heroine of the novel she adores, Jane Steele suffers cruelly at the hands of her aunt and schoolmaster. And like Jane Eyre, they call her wicked - but in her case, she fears the accusation is true. When she flees, she leaves behind the corpses of her tormentors. A fugitive navigating London's underbelly, Jane rights wrongs on behalf of the have-nots whilst avoiding the noose. Until an advertisement catches her eye. Her aunt has died and the new master at Highgate House, Mr Thornfield, seeks a governess. Anxious to know if she is Highgate's true heir, Jane takes the position and is soon caught up in the household's strange spell. When she falls in love with the mysterious Charles Thornfield, she faces a terrible dilemma: can she possess him - body, soul and secrets - and what if he discovers her murderous past?

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Carry On - The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery. It has just as much kissing and talking as you'd expect from a Rainbow Rowell story - but far, far more monsters.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

Sophie has the great misfortune of being the eldest of three daughters, destined to fail miserably should she ever leave home to seek her fate. But when she unwittingly attracts the ire of the Witch of the Waste, Sophie finds herself under a horrid spell that transforms her into an old lady. Her only chance at breaking it lies in the ever-moving castle in the hills: the Wizard Howl's castle. To untangle the enchantment, Sophie must handle the heartless Howl, strike a bargain with a fire demon, and meet the Witch of the Waste head-on. Along the way, she discovers that there's far more to Howl—and herself—than first meets the eye.

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick

A romantic ode to the strength of love and the power of choosing each other, against odds and obstacles, again and again. What would you do if you forgot the love of your life ever even existed? Stevie and Nora had a love. A secret, epic, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. They also had a plan: to leave their small, ultra-conservative town and families behind after graduation and move to California, where they could finally stop hiding that love. But then Stevie has a terrible fall. And when she comes to, she can remember nothing of the last two years—not California, not coming to terms with her sexuality, not even Nora. Suddenly, Stevie finds herself in a life she doesn’t quite understand, one where she’s estranged from her parents, drifting away from her friends, lying about the hours she works, dating a boy she can’t remember crushing on, and headed towards a future that isn’t at all what her fifteen-year-old self would have envisioned. And Nora finds herself…forgotten. Can the two beat the odds a second time and find their way back together when “together” itself is just a lost memory?

Caught in a Bad Fauxmance by Elle Gonzalez Rose

A fresh, fun contemporary rom-com from debut author Elle Gonzalez Rose, about an aspiring artist who agrees to fake date one of his family’s longtime enemies in the hopes of gathering intel good enough to take down their rivals once and for all. Devin Baez is ready for a relaxing winter break at Lake Andreas. That is, until he runs into his obnoxious next-door neighbors the Seo-Cookes, undefeated champions of the lake’s annual Winter Games. In the hope of finally taking down these long-time rivals, the Baezes offer up their beloved cabin in a bet. Reckless? Definitely. So when annoyingly handsome Julian Seo-Cooke finds himself in need of a fake boyfriend, Devin sees an opportunity to get behind enemy lines and prove the family plays dirty. As long as Devin and Julian’s families are at war, there’s only room for loathing between them. Which is a problem because, for Devin, this faux game of love is feeling very real.

Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev

All her world's a stage. Bertie Shakespeare Smith is not an actress, yet she lives in a theater. She's not an orphan, but she has no parents. She knows every part, but she has no lines of her own. That is, until now. Enter Stage Right NATE. Dashing pirate. Will do anything to protect Bertie. COBWEB, MOTH, MUSTARDSEED, and PEASEBLOSSOM. Four tiny and incredibly annoying fairies. BERTIE'S sidekicks. ARIEL. Seductive air spirit and Bertie's weakness. The symbol of impending doom. BERTIE. Our heroine. Welcome to the Théâtre Illuminata, where the actors of every play ever written can be found behind the curtain. They were born to play their parts, and are bound to the Théâtre by The Book, an ancient and magical tome of scripts. Bertie is not one of them, but they are her family, and she is about to lose them all and the only home she has ever known. Lisa Mantchev has written a debut novel that is dramatic, romantic, and witty, with an irresistible and irreverent cast of characters who are sure to enchant the audience. Open Curtain

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 6, Poll 3

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Hitori Gotoh-Bocchi the Rock!

Qualifications:

Debilitating social anxiety, implied to be WLW

Propaganda:

Bocchi has debilitating social anxiety, even dissociating in bad situations. There are a lot of small scenes in both the anime and manga implying that she wanted to join a band (or other activities) to attract girls.

Simon Snow-Carry On

Qualifications:

He is unlabeled and has depression

Propaganda:

Simon is "the worst chosen one whose ever been chosen." He exists in a world of mages and has a seemingly limitless amount of power, but no natural skill at using it. He is good at killing things with a sword but not with a wand. These are pretty big spoilers for the series so sorry lol but he ends up falling for his roommate and "sworn enemy" Baz and then loses his power while defeating the antagonist in the first book. In the subsequent books, Simon feels lost. He falls into a depression because of the trauma he faced for years as the "Chosen One" and being needed by everyone to suddenly having no powers and no direction in life. He feels like he is no longer good enough for Baz or his best friend Penny and spends days on the sofa. The rest of the series leaves him trying to find a new purpose and come to terms with the way his life has changed. Oh also he has wings and a tail lol. He never labels himself as he doesn't find any of them suitable for himself.

[friendship-showdown]

Round of 64: Battle #5

Propaganda:

Simon Snow and Penelope Bunce (Carry On series): These two are absolute ride or dies for each other. As the “worst chosen one whose ever been chosen,” Simon is basically a huge disaster with an abundance of power, and he would be absolutely nowhere without Penny helping him through all his battles and kidnappings. They follow each other into trouble at all times. There is never even a hint of anything other than platonic between the two, even when Simon’s girlfriend suspects there are feelings there. My platonic soulmates :) (ART BY @vkelleyart)

Jayfeather and Briarlight (Warriors): Jayfeather is a cat doctor, but he's also blind and faces daily ableism from the clan (which is not the greatest idea i mean he's your only medic he can kill you and hide the body why are you making him unhappy??? he also totally has the temperament to kill you and hide the body) and Briarlight is a happy go lucky apprentice until a tree falls on her (long story short) and she finds herself paralysed from the torso (or whatever cats have in that area) down. She thus takes permanent residence in the medicine place and for some 20 books or so becomes the best friend and confident of Jayfeather.

[not-totally-blind]

Snowbaz "Better Than She Can"

Baz knew that what Wellbelove had with Snow was complicated, she had Simon Snow by her side and still she wasn't happy, she had what Baz had wanted since the day that the crucible brought them together (even if she didn't know it at first). Back then and yet she dared to think about leaving him.

The last attack of the Humdrum had left a tense atmosphere in Watford, for some reason Snow had disappeared for longer than the Sorcerer had told the teachers, and he had not reported news of his beloved chosen one, he even seemed somewhat anxious.

Baz began to feel concern bloom in her chest when she noticed that Bunce looked more worried every day, if she had begun to assume the worst, then the situation was at its worst for her. She began to sleep in the catacombs because the pain of waking up and seeing Simon's bed empty was too great, she had even shed some tears for the fear that her beloved enemy had died and no one knew where to look for her body.

Even Snow's side friends like Rhys were starting to look down, but not Wellbelove. At first, he thought it was the faith she had that Simon Snow was invincible from one of the people who had seen it first hand, but when she didn't seem affected after three weeks he began to meddle a bit, just a light follow up. , and I hear a conversation between Bunce and her.

“You don't seem affected by Simon's disappearance” and what a relief it was not to be the only one who had noticed. “Do you know something? Or have you just not processed it yet?

The blonde's response left him with pure anger running through his body.

"I've been ready for him not to come back since we started dating." She at least seemed a little guilty. "It's not that I don't want him or anything, Penny, I just know how to live a life without Simon in it."

How dare she? Simon Snow had chosen her to give him her heart, she was what he considered her home, and this is how she paid for it? Just accepting that he never comes back.

Baz considered what her life would be like if Snow didn't come back, no more seeing him eat his beloved sandwiches and cherry scones, no more golden curls lit by the rays of dawn and no more blue eyes that would look at him suspiciously. She would never have the chance to imagine that Snow didn't hate him because he never treated him right, and now it might be too late.

If he were Simon's mate (isn't that too beautiful a thought?) he wouldn't be ready to ever let go, he wouldn't be able to turn the page, he wouldn't even be sure he wanted to go on with his life as before if he'd known the taste of lips from Snow. Agatha Wellbelove didn't deserve the love Simon Snow had given her, he deserved people who would miss him forever (Baz had eternity to love him).

And yet, Simon chose someone who didn't value him.

[books-to-add-to-your-tbr]

Title: Simon Snow

Author: Rainbow Rowell

Series or standalone: series

Publication year: 2015

Genres: fiction, fantasy, LGBT+, romance

Blurb: Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen...that’s what his roommate Baz says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right. Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work...and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this...if he were here. It’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

[marshmyers]

Carry On is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery. It has just as much kissing and talking as you'd expect from a Rainbow Rowell story - but far, far more monsters.

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. 

That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. 

Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here — it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. 

https://bookshop.org/a/95413/9781250135025

[haveyoureadthisqueerbook]

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell received 191 votes total. 45% of respondents answered YES, they have read it. 55% of respondents answered NO, they have not read it.

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen. That's what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he's probably right. Half the time, Simon can't even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor's avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there's a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon's face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here--it's their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon's infuriating nemesis didn't even bother to show up. Carry On is a ghost story, a love story and a mystery. It has just as much kissing and talking as you'd expect from a Rainbow Rowell story - but far, far more monsters.

I have read this book and I loved it. A lot of times I'll see people rag on it for being Drarry fanfiction, which is...missing the point, imo. The Simon Snow series reads very much as a response to Harry Potter (in much the same way Naomi Novik's Scholomance trilogy reads), and the fact that it feels like fanfiction is a feature, not a bug. It's meant to feel fic-cy. Plus, it's the franchise that one of the characters in Rowell's book Fangirl (the main character? idk I've never read it) writes fanfiction about. So that vibe is very much built into it.

Anyway! I love this trilogy a lot haha. The second and third are better I think, but I really enjoyed this one, too.

[raivice]

Baz always seems ready to cut a bitch lmao

[carryonremix]

Carry On Remix 2021 - Masterlist

A remix is another version of someone else’s story - it could be from the POV of a different character, or another genre from the original, or focus on a different set of characters or a different moment. It’s the way you would have chosen to tell that same story.

All the fics for the gift exchange have now been posted! You can check out the Collection on AO3, or the full masterlist is posted below. 

Fics are in alphabetical order of remixer name on AO3, which may not be the same as what’s written below.

Masterlist of remixes

If We Were A Movie by @angelsfalling16  is a remix of Spinning Circles Down The Avenue by @mostlymaudlin

The Worst Chosen Ones (The ‘Let It Snow’ Remix) by @captain-aralias (NSFW) is a remix of double vision by @pipsqueakparker

keep me warm (the 'go and kiss him' remix) by @bazzybelle (NSFW) is a remix of kiss him, then go. by @im-gettingby

We've Got Time (A 'Time' by clevelandy Remix) by @bloodiedpixie  is a remix of Time by @motherscarf

Whiskey Sour (The "The Drink is Sweeter (When It's Sour First)" Remix) by @cacaesthesia (NSFW, WIP) is a remix of The Drink is Sweeter (When It's Sour First) by @snowybank

The Untold Story [The Bro with a Destiny Remix] by @motherscarf is a remix of  Bro with a Destiny by @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire

Song on the Wind [the roses remix] by @urban-sith is a remix of  Dance Like a Flame by @nightimedreamersworld

Coming Home (The Moving On Remix) by @im-gettingby is a remix of Moving On by @cacaesthesia

Approximately to Infinity [the pew pew remix] by @mostlymaudlin is a remix of Always, Almost by @tea-brigade

love for fools by @assortedmoths is a remix of Fools in Love by @angelsfalling16

what simon gives up (what baz gives up remix) by @nevergonnacallmedarling is a remix of What Baz Gives Up by @urban-sith

When in Blackpool (the 'second chances' remix) by @nightimedreamersworld (WIP) is a remix of three nights in blackpool by @nevergonnacallmedarling

what’s mine is yours (lives of this (eternity entwined) remix) by @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire is a remix of  lives of this (eternity entwined) by @assortedmoths

Your Candle Burned Out Long Before (Your Legend Ever Did) by @snowybank (NSFW) is a remix of Goodbye, Norma Jean by @captain-aralias

Dreaming of a Renaissance by @tea-brigade is a remix of Love is a Dream of Beauty by @bazzybelle

In most cases, the remixer will advise you to read the original before you start the new one - so that’s 30 fics to enjoy \o/ 15 of which are new. 

Thanks everyone who took part, and to all those who are reading and commenting.

==

Sad remix is over? Don’t worry - it’s not over yet! You still have two weeks to write a remix as part of Remix Madness where you get to choose the author/work you remix. That collection will open on the 28th November. See you then.

[clumsyartish]

"You have to pretend that you get an endgame. You have to carry on like you will; otherwise, you can't carry on at all." - The Worst Chosen One who's ever been chosen Simon Snow

✨✨

Simon Snow is my comfort character and this is one of my new favorite drawings ... So here's to Snow and his younger self <3

[carryon-anon-fest]

ART

I Just Wanna Dance With You (G)

The Prom AU

Firebreathing Simon (G)

Make A Wish (G)

G/T+

The Best Laid Plans of Magazines and Men (T)

Helping Baz learn to flirt with Simon in a healthy way seemed like a brilliant idea. Unfortunately, Dev and Niall's plans and their friend's capabilities are a bit of a mismatch. 'A bit' being an egregious understatement. Hilarity, predictably, ensues.

Craziest Season (T)

Baz is bringing Simon home for Christmas this year, so he can finally meet his family. The catch? Baz is not out to any of them yet, contrary to what Simon originally believed. They end up pretending to be just roommates, but it's fine, really. It's only for five days. What can possibly go wrong in only five days? (Everything, apparently.)

When We Fight We Fight Like Lions (But Then We Love and Feel the Truth) (T)

Simon and Baz are secret agents, working for W.A.T.F.O.R.D (the Worldwide Agency for Threat Flagging Operations, Reconnaissance and Defence) They have to go on their biggest mission yet, to infiltrate a top-secret weapons convention. The only problem is, they have to do it under the cover of a newly-wed couple...

The One My Soul Loves (T)

The “Worst Chosen One” has a gift for technology. What if that had been encouraged instead? This time, he and Penny stop the Humdrum before eighth year. Simon finally has time for his dream project: a soulmate finder app. Others find love, but Simon’s match won’t download the app. Can he find peace with this? Why is Baz acting strange? What will happen when an unhappy user curses Simon, driving up the stakes to find his soulmate?

Classroom Politics (T)

At twenty-five, Simon Snow’s life is finally on the up. He’s got his magic back, people listen to him, and he can draw the Sword of Mages. A lot of people think he should lead the Coven. But not everyone. The Old Families still see Simon as their enemy and they’re quite willing to quote obscure magickal law to stop him ascending to Mage. Simon’s never backed down from a challenge, though, or let anyone stop him doing what he needs to do. He’s not starting now. Even if it means going back to school.

However Souls Are Made (Ours Are the Same) (T)

Fiona wants to come out and shock her parents, so she enlists Ebb to help. Ebb agrees to fake-date Fiona for the hols—they're best friends, aren't they? She can help Fiona out a bit. Except Ebb has been half in love for years and Fiona is plotting, as is the Pitch way.

Why We're No Longer Allowed to Do Boardgame Nights (T)

After a disaster on the night of 2 February 2019, I have decided to conduct a report to look into a case that ended horribly, after starting as a simple boardgame night. This report is constructed entirely of witness statements. Let’s begin. (Aka, The Gang decide to have a night of Monopoly, Twister and other such things, and it goes tits up)

The Kind of Love I Want (G)

An awkward conversation between Simon and Agatha leads to new revelations and a friendship reborn.

Happier Memories (G)

In which Simon decides to plan, and Baz decides to do something impulsive.

Here, Kitty-Kitty... (G)

Simon adopts a cat. Baz pretends to hate him. It's probably safer for everyone this way...

In the Middle (T)

Simon should be overjoyed at his Penelope's engagement, the second of his sisters to be so fortunate, but all he can think about is Mr Grimm-Pitch. He fears he has ruined the greatest chance of happiness he could ever have hoped for.

Today Is Tomorrow (T)

Simon Snow's having the worst day of his life... over and over and over again.

Mirror, Mirror (T)

For all the Mage's claims that Simon Snow was the World of Mages' prophesied savior, the Humdrum certainly wasn't the only danger their world faced and Simon certainly wouldn't save the world alone.

The Coolest Part (By Far) (G)

When Penny leaves for a study trip, Simon and Baz are left all alone. And who can blame them for getting a kitten? In their defense, they were left unsupervised.

Hallmark Presents: Amid the Winter's Snow (T)

Big city businessman Baz Pitch just wants to get the promotion he's been gunning for. When he travels to his quaint hometown for Christmas, he (literally) runs into the most handsome man he's ever seen and ruins his day. Thus begins the animosity of a lifetime as the town prepares for the annual Christmas Eve Ball. Baz never asked for love. And he definitely never asked to discover the True Meaning of Christmas.

How I Find Myself Without You (T)

At a dinner party with friends, Penny, Shepard, and Agatha come clean about their relationship...and about where Agatha's been living all this time.

If You Wanna Be My Lover (T)

It's the week before graduation, and former roommates Simon and Baz run into each other at a particularly lively karaoke night. In between terrible renditions of "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Mr. Brightside," they just might begin to realize what it is that they really really want.

NSFW FICS BELOW:

So Close, We've Always Been (E)

Simon Snow has worked in security for most of his life, having dealt with some of the most difficult clients. None has come as close to being as frustrating as Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. The man is stuck-up, arrogant, and a complete arsehole. He's rude, careless, and Simon really should have quit months ago. Until there's something more that keeps him by Baz's side... Namely him being the best shag Simon's ever had. He may insist that the nights with Baz mean nothing, but not even he can prevent the feelings that start to flicker beneath the sheets.

Hard to Get (M)

Dev needs a favour. Baz agrees despite his better judgment. Because it really wouldn't matter to anyone, especially not to Simon Snow Salisbury. Or would it?

Kiss Him, Then Go. (E)

Tomorrow morning, Simon Snow will face his lifelong nemesis on the battlefield. But tonight, he sneaks into the Pitch family compound, and seeks out his former roommate.

Feed Me I Live (Drink I Die) (M)

Off the sofa, out of the flat. That's Baz's only goal when he brings Simon along with him to a house Fiona discovered on her vampire hunt across the country. There was only supposed to be books there. Baz knows books. Simon knows how hungry creatures grow.

Midlife Crisis (E)

Following his midlife crisis, Baz finds himself in the middle of the countryside. It’s plenty annoying as it is, without the trouble of him meeting the local constable Simon Snow, whom he somehow finds attractive. But that is only due to the bloody fresh air, right? Not in one hundred years would Baz fall for someone like him.

[aurumacadicus]

It’s time to pick our September book for book club! Tumblr will vote, and the book club will then vote among the top three in Discord. If you’d like to join the book club, send me a message and I’ll send you a link to the discord! Check out the books’ summaries under the cut!

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Simon Snow is the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen.

That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.

Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he starts something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around, wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

ASSISTANT WANTED: Notorious, high-ranking villain seeks loyal, levelheaded assistant for unspecified office duties, supporting staff for random mayhem and terror, and other Dark Things In General. Discretion a must. Excellent benefits.

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage’s employment status isn’t just important, it’s vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn’s most infamous Villain results in a job offer—naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teen crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don’t find evil so attractive, Evie.

But just when she’s getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat…and not just the literal kind. Because something rotten is growing in the kingdom of Rennedawn, and someone wants to take the Villain—and his entire nefarious empire—out.

Now Evie must not only resist drooling over her boss but also figure out exactly who is sabotaging his work…and ensure he makes them pay.

After all, a good job is hard to find.

Plain Bad Heroines: A Novel by Emily M. Danforth

Our story begins in 1902, at the Brookhants School for Girls. Flo and Clara, two impressionable students, are obsessed with each other and with a daring young writer named Mary MacLane, the author of a scandalous bestselling memoir. To show their devotion to Mary, the girls establish their own private club and call it the Plain Bad Heroine Society. They meet in secret in a nearby apple orchard, the setting of their wildest happiness and, ultimately, of their macabre deaths. This is where their bodies are later discovered with a copy of Mary’s book splayed beside them, the victims of a swarm of stinging, angry yellow jackets. Less than five years later, the Brookhants School for Girls closes its doors forever—but not before three more people mysteriously die on the property, each in a most troubling way.

Over a century later, the now abandoned and crumbling Brookhants is back in the news when wunderkind writer Merritt Emmons publishes a breakout book celebrating the queer, feminist history surrounding the “haunted and cursed” Gilded Age institution. Her bestselling book inspires a controversial horror film adaption starring celebrity actor and lesbian it girl Harper Harper playing the ill-fated heroine Flo, opposite B-list actress and former child star Audrey Wells as Clara. But as Brookhants opens its gates once again, and our three modern heroines arrive on set to begin filming, past and present become grimly entangled—or perhaps just grimly exploited—and soon it’s impossible to tell where the curse leaves off and Hollywood begins.

The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin

This is the way the world ends…for the last time.

It starts with the great red rift across the heart of the world’s sole continent, spewing ash that blots out the sun. It starts with death, with a murdered son and a missing daughter. It starts with betrayal, and long dormant wounds rising up to fester.

This is the Stillness, a land long familiar with catastrophe, where the power of the earth is wielded as a weapon. And where there is no mercy.

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

The Wheel of Time turns and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth returns again. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow.

When a vicious band of half-men, half beasts invade the Two Rivers seeking their master’s enemy, Moiraine persuades Rand al’Thor and his friends to leave their home and enter a larger unimaginable world filled with dangers waiting in the shadows and in the light.

The Iliad by Homer

Sing, O Goddes, the anger of Achilles, son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans…

So begins Homer’s The Iliad, the classic account of the final year of the Trojan War, a vicious, 10-year bloodbath between the Greeks and the Trojans following the abduction of Helen of Sparta. In this prose retelling of Homer’s poem, we follow the mighty Greek hero Achilles and his comrades as they battle against the Trojans, the gods, and even fate itself.

[rosebvdboy]

╔═.✾. ═  LOG 202202.01 :  simon snow salisbury  |  cis man, he/him | 20 years old.

Just spotted SIMON around town. Our records show that they remember [ everything ] from their source : simon snow trilogy (canon). They were first spotted in february 2022 and our best guess is that their last memory is sitting with the family sword as baz plays violin. Archivists watching them state that they still have the trouble with words, worst chosen one that’s ever been chosen, would eat butter with a spoon if it were acceptable vibe about them.

━  from Armes E. Sallow’s  personal archives. ═.✾. ═╝ 

 ↳・゜lucas lynggard tonnesen .

ARMES: can you tell me your name and where you are from?

Simon Snow. And I’m from London I suppose. I kinda lived all around England. 

ARMES: and what is the last thing you remember from your home?

I was listening to Baz play their violin.

ARMES: I ask this because we have a history of memory loss in town.  do you feel as though you have any blanks in your memories?

Aside from the usual blanks, not really. 

ARMES: how long have you been in town?

Almost a year, possibly. I guess those kinds of details are a little fuzzy. Not too long, if that’s what you’re asking.

ARMES: and are you feeling settled?  have you found a job?

I’ve been working on the farm. I’m pretty settled, I think.

ARMES: what, do you think, was the strangest thing you saw before arriving in this town?

Fighting monsters is— was my usual so that was never strange. I guess that festival my friends and I saw in America was pretty strange. People dressed up as fantasy characters and speaking in funny accents. No one believed my wings were real there, which was kind of nice. 

ARMES: do you believe in the supernatural or mythical?

Obviously.

ARMES: what kind of traits would your friends or family give you?

Reckless, probably. Hopefully heroic too but they’d most likely say moronic. I don’t know, why don’t you ask them instead.

ARMES: is there anything else you would like to say?

No, thanks.