#simm!master smut

[valentinetypewriter]

Smut headcanons of Krillitane Y/n with different versions of The Master

This can be read separately but it is attached to my Master x Krillitane reader Series

Saxon Master

He matches your freak. You try taking a bite out of him and he'd bite back and would definitely draw blood

He lives for the dangerous rush of sleeping with a Krillitane

A constant power struggle between you two

He would most likely get turned on watching you kill something, even if it's just for food

Is definitely a sado-masochist, maybe that's why he likes Krillitane Y/n so much

Silver simm/season 10

Much more tame then his younger self, though he still likes to bite

He's more into you being submissive then the constant power struggle he used to enjoy

let's face it he's much more intimidating looking than before, and he would definitely use that against you

He would so be into him and Missy going to town on you, making you an absolute mess

He would so flaunt that his girlfriend is a monster that could easily kill (he also gets off to it)

Missy

Missy is much more tame with Krillitane Y/n She a lot less sadistic/masochistic then Simm Master

Now she's more into taming then fighting

100% would call you her pet (might even buy a collar and leash)

She would dress you up and do your Makeup, (would definitely make a joke about being her cute little show dog)

She loves the idea that she's tamed a terrifying monster who help slaughter her own people

She would take you to different planets for you to “window shop” the different species

Dhawan Master

He's a feral bastard

He loves biting, scratching, choking, hair pulling. You name it

He makes sure you know he owns you

Loves marking you up, he wants everyone to know you're his

If anyone ever walked in on you two doing it, they might just think he's trying to kill you

He would go feral if Krillitane y/n had some kind of non-human part, if it's horns, a tail or even an extra eye, he'd eat it up Gets off on the idea that you could possibly kill him

[tardis-ghost-blog]

Ten/Simm smut!

No, you don't need to read the rest of the story. This chapter needs no explanation 👀

Have fun

[roxannepolice]

Doing my first properly chaptered fic ever and, surprise, it's tensimm shenanigans:

Yeah, once I found out the title of Harold Saxon's novel, I realised it being a thinly veiled thoschei fanfic isn't just my headcanon, only author's intent from the beginning. I think I'll finish it by the end of the week, but also fully accept suggestions of canon situations you'd like to see turned into kinky sex that cuts away before juicy bits. Enjoy?

[thexxxthdoctor]

Ok, so, what do people want next? Something Timey Wimey with the 8th Doctor or something a little more dangerous with the Master & Missy…?

[its-timey-wimey-stuff]

For all those who love The Master and fan fictions about him.. I’ve found a gem on AO3!

It’s called Soul’s Shadow by TardisGhost. However be warned it’s kinda dark but so phenomenal and also has 144 Chapter and counting!

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Doctor Who masterlist

Requests are currently open!

Key:

Fluff: ♡ Angst: ♤ Smut: ♧ Headcanons: ◇ May contain triggering content: ☆

~

Ninth Doctor

Comforting Touch ♤♡

~

Thirteenth Doctor

Almost Siblings ♡

cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day ♡

What Dies Doesn't Always Stay Buried ♤♡

Gold Dust Woman ♤

~

Dhawan! Doctor

put on your records and regret me ♤♡

~

Rose Tyler

Overprotective Older Sister ♤♡

~

Martha Jones

Worried For You ♡

~

River Song

Bored In Captivity ♡

~

Clara Oswald

Hiding Away ♤♡

Lady Oswald ♧

~

Simm! Master

The Masters dating someone who's clumsy ◇

The Masters + finding rocks that match the color of each other's eyes ◇

you're a cowboy like me ♤♡

The Masters taking care of a sick reader ◇

The reader taking care of the Masters when they're sick ◇

~

Missy/Gomez! Master

The Masters dating someone who's clumsy ◇

Oral Exam ♧

Side Effects Include ♡

Kiss Of Doom ♡♤

The Masters + finding rocks that match the color of each other's eyes ◇

Pay Attention ♧

What Dies Doesn't Always Stay Buried ♤♡

The Masters taking care of a sick reader ◇

The reader taking care of the Masters when they're sick ◇

Random characters with a reader who plays Five Nights at Freddy's ◇

~

Dhawan! Master

The Masters dating someone who's clumsy ◇

The One Who Rocks My World ♡

The Masters + finding rocks that match the color of each other's eyes ◇

Change of Plans ♡

I feel a lavender haze creepin' up on me ♡

The Masters taking care of a sick reader ◇

The reader taking care of the Masters when they're sick ◇

~

Whittaker! Master

my house of stone, your ivy grows ♡

put on your records and regret me ♤

Burning Red ♡

~

The Toymaker

Wanna Hippopotamus for Christmas ♡

The Toymaker losing a game to a reader who wants to dance with him ◇

~

[icarusredwings]

Something The Cat Dragged In

A badly written COMEDY oneshot. (I have no clue how to write 11 or amy im sorry) No smut.

Posted: July 31st 2024.

Words: ~7,900

Ships: The Ponds, River/11/Simm

Prompt: The Doctor and River are trying to domesticate a feral Master with clicker training, and it's going about as well as you'd think.

This fic includes: Jealous 11, SFW worshiping kink, Horrible cat puns, Bondage, Amy being a freak, Pet play, Degrading, an Oblivious 11, and Mentions of Cheetah Virus changing a bored master's deoxyribonucleic structure. Consider that your trigger warning.

“Are you sure this is safe?” The ginger man asked, hesitant about the scrappy man that the raggedy doctor had brought on board the TARDIS.

“Absolutely!” He chimed, the smile on his face clearly larger than how much trust he had in this situation being anywhere near ‘safe’.

He knew that smile. That was the ‘I'm lying because I don't want to tell the truth’ smile. The one you had to watch out for. So nervous that fibber was..

“Oh, Amy's going to kill you…”

“I'm sure she will! As for now-” Rory watched as the Doctor jumped around the TARDIS a bit, hitting buttons, pulling levers, twisting dials. The usual. What wasn't so usual though was the fact a half blonde man with about half an inch of dark roots was standing there, Glaring at him. Swallowing, He stepped to the left, and then more towards the Doctor, being tracked by his eyes. Something about the way he smirked with such wide teeth made a shiver run up his spine.

Look, He's met a lot of odd aliens and crazies at the hospital but this guy looked at him as if he'd eat him whole in one bite.

“Doctor-”

“Not now Rory! Busy!” Coming around, He seemed to have this be the entire plan, getting the drop on him as he spun behind him, clamping a thick metal bracelet around his wrist, holding it as he quickly clamped the other. “Hey!”

“There we go! That's better!”

Huffing, the man began to try to take off the bracelet only to emit a small red light and a beeping noise. “Take this off of me! Right now!”

“Uhhhh…No.”

“Yes! Take it off or i'll-”

“You'll what? Hm? Still in the habit of telling me your plans are we? God you've always been like that. So clever and yet.. so dull..”

“I am NOT dull! You're stupid bowtie is dull!”

“Hey! Bowties are cool. Now then, Rory this is-... er.”

“Say it.”

“..er..”

“Go on. Say it!”

Taking a breath, The Doctor knew that no matter what he said would be bad. If he introduced him as Koschei, He'd not rest until he at least stabbed him in one of his stomachs.

“Rory, Master. Master, Rory.”

With a great sense of pride, The Master grins ear to ear, Putting his hands out and bowing as if he had just introduced someone extremely important. Perhaps an old friend that once held such great respect but now it seems both of their minds have gone a bit off their rockers. More so the other's, but they both thought this.

“... should I be worried?”

“Oh, Yes.”

“No!”

“Don't lie to them, Doctor! You and I both know what happens when I'm hungry..”

“Doctor? What's he mean by that?” Giving a look of concern, he backed away just slightly enough to trip over a loose wire. This fear seemed to please the blonde while the Doctor rolled his eyes. “Oh you are fine, I just fed you.”

“He's on a feeding schedule? Like… some kind of pet?”

“Do not speak of me like I am nothing but a pet!! I'm far beyond Your comprehensive abilities! Use your tongue to call me anything below your Master and It will surely be a mistake!”

“Yeah, About that, You're in charge of not letting me forget to feed him, okay? Jolly good, alright, Now! I do have to apologize, Your old room was destroyed but we have bunk beds! Cool right?” He rambled.

“Why do I have to make sure you remember?” Rory asks, scrunching his nose as he took another step forward.

“Do you want to find out?” The Master beamed, quite excited about teasing and gaining authority over the Doctor's fellow companions. If anything, They were pets. Not him.

“I wouldn't recommend that! Lets just say, You don't want to find out. Anywho! Back to what I was saying!” For a third time he turns to his old friend, new traveling buddy, hands clapped together politely.

“Your old room is busted. Gonzo! So you'll have to make a new one. Any requests?”

“Wait wait wait-”

“Good god, Rory what now? You're being quite rude!”

“You can't just bring someone aboard who's going to eat me and fly on by!”

“I thought we already established this. Keep up!”

“Yeah, keep up!” The Master shouted, egging the man on. “And if you can't, get off the ship! Do us all a favor and jump overboard.”

At this, he was met with a cross look and his ear being pulled. “Aye stop that! Now you're the one being rude!”

The days that followed weren't so simple. Between the Master trying to get out the front door, snapping at them, insulting everyone he met, refusing to eat certain things, and both Rory and Amy losing sleep with how much they argued, you could say that things were in fact not going well. The Doctor on the other hand said differently, claiming that it took time to get used to TARDIS living arrangements.

The thing that really got him rowdy though was his vaccines. Between scratching, cursing and kicking, it was a wonder how the Doctor was able to manage him at all, even if his methods weren't exactly filled with the most logic, some being closely related to rewards.

When the Master DID finally escape, his punishment was to wear a bell. That's it. A normal bell. Quite a large one though. Suited more for a large dog then a cat.

When he purposely shoved all the trinkets and containers off of the top of the fridge in order to sit on top of it, The Doctor made him a loft to lay on with his own window.

This seemed to have worked for a while, watching the stars as they floated by. But then when the problem arose of him not eating, The Doctor gave him a bean bag chair hoping having his own special spot would make him feel better.

But it didn't. If anything he only ripped it up, purposely destroying it. Coming back to the TARDIS to that kind of mess was enough for Amy to suggest getting rid of him or perhaps caging him up when they left but the Doctor was just in awe at how relaxed he was, snoring ever so softly while lounging on his loft as if he were purring from curing his boredom for the day.

“Aww Amy.. I couldn't. Look how happy he is.”

“He trashed the TARDIS! I thought you said you were going to take care of him?”

“I am! It's just… oh what's that word?”

“Hard?”

“Impossible?”

“Nothing is impossible.” He says, shaking his head.

“But you said that tons of times..”

“And yet none of them were true!” He says, wagging a finger. “I just have to think.”

So he thought. What else could he do? The Master was bound to rebel. That's been proven already.

“Well you better do it soon or else he's going to rip up your fez next..” this gave him an idea.. quite a large one at that.

“Oh Rory!! Wonderful Rory!” He says, grabbing his face as he holds him tight with that excited but manic glint.

“That's just what he needs!”

The two watched as the Doctor ran off to the console, trying to jump over the billions of beads only to slip, Falling for only a moment, popping back up over on the other side.

“A .. fez??”

“No!- well. Yes. But no. You'll see! Now go on. Don't you have erm-” he waved his hand at them, his brain doing that thing where his words were all jumbled up inside, making it difficult to speak. “Kissing to do? Or something? Don't worry about me I got a lot of cleaning up to do and- OH yes! Amy, are you finished playing that game with the rope? You know, the one you told me about?”

The ginger man's eyes widened greatly as he gave his wife a look of terror. The kind you only get when your head was screaming ‘WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?!’

The woman now blushed, Crossing her arms as she returned the look to her husband, implying that she had everything under control. “You mean that one where we pretend to be Fenrir and see how long it takes to get untied?”

“Yes!” He snapped his fingers. “That one! Quite a loud game is it not? Anywho- Can I have the rope back? I'm glad you two wish to practice kidnapping safety but I'm afraid In this era people are going more with handcuffs then rope.”

Amy's eyes became brighter, the kind that scared her husband to death.

“Handcuffs you say?”

“It seems in most situations they're used more often than rope nowadays.”

“Is that so?”

“..Why are you asking like that?”

“I was just wondering…What if we practiced getting out of handcuffs instead then? It would make a lot more sense to practice with modern tools then-”

“Oh will you SHUT up!? Get a room will you?! God. It's bad enough I'm stuck here with you two. I don't want to hear that either!”

Glancing up, the Doctor grinned seeing the Master awake and his same cranky self.

“Oh, be nice! They do have a room!...Still don't know why you'd ever want me to take out the bunk beds though…” he muttered this last part, rubbing his chin.

“Soooo….Doctor? Cuffs?” Amy started, rocking back on her heels.

“Oh yes! Here you are.” Tapping a button on the console, a small drawer popped out as he tossed two sets at the red head, Tapping another as a door in the wall opened up, revealing cleaning supplies. “Now, if you excuse me. I have work to do. And you mister! You're going to help me!” He shouts, only to be given a lazy bird and a “No i'm not.”

Sighing, the Doctor made a face of disappointment but wasn't surprised.

“I suppose you're not… Got it..”

It's been about 2 months since the Master joined their voyages. So far he's only had about 30 true crimes, and by that I mean he caught one of the homes they visted on fire.

About 53 “naughty” days. The Last week though? It's been secretly excellent. The Doctor thought that things were going great.

He's found that by giving the Master MORE freedom, he's actually learned how to behave quite a bit. It seems that separating him from the tasks of everyday life made him feel unwanted and untrusted (for obvious reason).

Hell, even he was shocked when told he was allowed to do important things.

Not only did he now have free range of the TARDIS but he was allowed to do mostly everything. He's even tried his luck at pushing buttons by sniffing around the other companions' rooms, knocking over and purposely misplacing things. All of which were met with a short talk and sometimes a hug.

This confused him greatly. He just broke something, why was he being forcibly hugged and then scolded? The Doctor would tell him to clean it up and if he didn't would get locked in the room (so he couldn't make another mess) forced to observe as the Doctor cleaned it himself.

He still had the bio bracelets so that he couldn't fully man the TARDIS but the Doctor began asking him to pull levers and asking his opinion on things. But why would the Doctor want his advice? He was a mere prisoner… usually captains of a ship didn't ask the people in the cellar for advice.

His bell had been kept on for safety reasons, mainly because he thought it was funny to chase Rory around until Amy came to spoil the fun by spraying him with a water pistol holding a liquid he couldn't quite place. Sometimes it stunk.

Once he opened his mouth to hiss at her and it went straight down his throat, cutting off the noise as he growled, only to realize it was sweeter than regular water. What was that? Sugar water?? No if it was sugar water it wouldn't stink like that..

Looking out his window, he was content as he watched the stars pass by, not entirely sure of what planet they were at but had a close enough idea of which solar system they were in. He could feel that they were extremely far from earth, further then that pathetic planet pluto, further than alpha centauri, and even further than Estello Aqualo, a planet full of nothing but water inhabitants.

Oh how he hated water planets. He much preferred reddish orange planets like Mars, Jupiter And Saturn. They reminded him of home… and the fact that blue was SO Last millenia-

While laying up here, up on his metal loft, He was mindlessly thinking, something he couldn't often do because of the constant thumping in his head but he's found that these bracelets dimmed the sound into a small tap rather than a thump of a hammer against his skull. He still heard it, oh yes he definitely could but it was much softer. Almost like a lullaby.

Lazily tossing the Doctor's ridiculous fez up and down, he wondered if the Doctor would be able to ever take it away… Rassilon only knew just how threaded the beat been woven into his life. And as much pain as it has caused him… He couldn't help but wonder…

What would he be without it?

Would he go back to being who he was before? An innocent child hoping, praying, Waiting until the day he received his Time Robes and was given his own TARDIS 60? Until he was gifted the honor of having his own team to command?

A team of his friends?

Until he was on the same team as Theta…?

No.

He could never stand with the Doctor. Never fully on the same team but yet- He sat up. They reminded him of those cartoons he watched when on earth.

Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner.

Iron Man and Captain America.

Batman and Joker.

The Master looked at the hat in his hands, pondering if he should put it on.. or perhaps throw it out the window! Or…

“Has anyone seen my Fez? I seem to have misplaced it.”

“Have you checked your room?”

“I've checked my bunk, yes. I've also checked the clothing closet and storage rooms.”

Listening from above, he let out a deep sigh, hoping down with a clattering of the TARDIS grate underneath. Being glanced at, He took a few steps forward, handing him the hat.

“Wha- Oh! Thank you!” Taking the fez he smiled, putting it on as if he seemed incomplete without it only to quickly hug him before bouncing off to what ever nonsense he was up to now.

Returning the hug, He didn't seem to notice until Rory stood there, Staring at him with an open mouth.

“What?” He grunted.

“...You..”

“Spit it out you ape.”

“..You returned his hat..”

“Congratulations. You have eyes.”

“No no no, I mean… you returned his hat.. and hugged him..”

“He hugs all of us all the time, whats your point? If you say something stupid like friendship im going to stab you.”

“But today you hugged back. You never hug back.”

“And? so Wh- Oohh ….” Now freezing, He blinked. He did do that.. didn't he? Why did he do that?!

Why did he give it to him so easily? He didn't even ask for it back and he just.. handed it to him? And not only the hat but he returned his hug too?

….Why did I do that?

Now the two stared at each other, both worried and concerned on different levels for opposite things. One worried if he was getting soft, or possibly being brainwashed, the other concerned that he was about to lose an arm.

The silence only broke when he looked at his hands and muttered “Am I sick?? Don't answer that!”

Opening his mouth to reply, Rory immediately shut it, Nodding softly in understanding. While he was quite a brave man, he was smart enough to know that the Master WOULD in fact eat him. And the Doctor couldn't save him forever…

For the next couple of days, he thought about this heavily, deciding that next time he would rip up the hat on purpose. Yeah that'll show him! As for now, He had been standing by the control console, looking at the destination only to scrunch up his nose.

Oh great. Earth. 44 BCE. Just what they needed. More interactions with uncivilized humans fighting over politics… at least this would be entertaining. Assassinations always were when they succeeded.

Coming up to the console, The Doctor clicked a few things, Petting part of the tubing with a happy hum. The hum was slow and sounded like something he'd heard many many years ago. Something of taste. Yawning, He listened to the humming until the Doctor walked off to do something else before unconsciously bee lining for his room.

Climbing into the top bunk (The Doctor had the bottom one whenever he did decide to sleep so it was barely used.) The Master pulled the blankets up around him. Tugging his pillow close, closing his eyes. It didn't take long until he started making rhymed breaths, a rumbling in his chest and throat starting to form from the amount of comfort under the thick blanket.

He got cold easily, as most Gallifreyans did due to the natural heat that they grew up with. Even during his time as Prime Minister he wore layers. Lots of them, blankets in the Limos and curling up to Lucy in an attempt to steal what little warmth humans had. Why the Doctor favored London, a cold, rainy and cloudy place? He'd never know. He prefered somewhere warm. Usually the warmer, the more interesting beasts to see scare small children.

A few moments later he stopped the purring, opening his eyes with a confused “Wait a minute..” look. Why was he sleeping? He wasn't even tired and it was 1 in the afternoon. His regular nap time wasn't until 4.

What in all things unholy was going on?? Did the Doctor do this? A curse perhaps? Was it these?

Rolling over, he looked at the metal on his wrists and for the 14th time he began to gnaw on the bracelets, growling in frustration. What was going on!? Whatever it was, he didn't like it… Mmh…Oh well. He was already there.

The next day, a certain clattering of pans made him perk up. He was swinging in his rope hammock, batting at the decorations that the Doctor specifically told him not to mess with, climbing on them, tugging them, kicking them, biting them, etc.

Anything to try and ruin it but it was proving to be quite difficult to do and not be caught seeing as it was thick enough to not break easily.

Sure, he could just rip them down with the strength he had but that would be no fun. It would cut the fun by 78% actually. He'd already done the math. Whenever someone could come in, He'd instantly stop and pretend to be innocently snoozing.

The pang of pans though? That was enough to bring him down. Climbing out of his swing, the Master followed the noise, coming to the kitchen as he sat at the table, the chair specifically to the left side, separated from the others. A nice pillow on his chair as well.

Honestly he was quite proud of this one. The Master had thrown a fit for hours straight until the Doctor gave him a special chair and now he sat in it like a king peering over his subjects (when in truth, It's just because everyone else was too scared to sit next to him while he ate, afraid they'd get snapped at or bitten if the Master thought they wanted his food)

Sitting here, he waited. Patiently at first but his patience was quickly running out when seeing no one else was coming. Hadn't they heard? Were they not hungry? Well good. He'd simply have it all then. There was no waste on this ship. None at all thanks to him, except when it came to pickles or cucumbers. He hated them. They looked and smelled foul enough for him to hiss, gag, and vomit all at once.

Eventually, his patience grew tired as he looked to the redheaded woman who dropped these pans everyday. For some reason, the Doctor kept these pans up high and getting them down was a nightmare, even for him.

You had to move the pans in order to get the plates behind them. Honestly, the kitchen's arrangement system made him think of the time the Doctor used to store his robes with his socks and his shirts with his underwear.

Who did that??

“Where is everyone?” He asked her, in which turn she turned to glance at him, having heard the jingling of his bell already.

“What do you mean?”

“It's time for a meal…yes?”

“No?? it's 3 pm. Why would you think it's time for dinner already?” She asked.

The Master paused.. Why did he think it was time? Wait, why did he come in here in the first place?

Oh yes! The pans.

“You.. dropped the pans.” It was said with a questioning tone at the end more than a statement.

“Yeah? I drop them every time because this kitchen is an utter mess.”

“riiighht…”

As much as he didn't want to admit it, Amy was right. This place was a disaster. If he didn't enjoy the chaos of watching the humans try to figure out the unorganized kitchen he'd say screw it and fix it himself. But what fun would that be?

“What do you want anyway?” She grumbled.

“What?”

“You heard me. What do you want? What stupid little plan do you have now? Come to remind me how dumb I am for dropping everything? Going to threaten to eat me? ...Again?”

The master blinked, tilting his head.

“Well… No I-” Wait.. How dare she speak to him like that! But.. yeah.. why did he come to the sound of the pans? It was odd. Even For him. Perhaps he got his hours mixed up?- No. It was something more than that. Something he wasn't able to figure out.

Seeing the confusion on his face, Amy frowned, now feeling a little bad. “Oh… Are you hungry? Do you want a snack or..something?”

“Huh?”

“It's just that.. you ran in here like a cat hearing a can of tuna being opened.”

“What!? I did not!”

“Oh you SO did. Here, I'll ask the Doctor where he keeps the snacks for you, okay?”

“What do I look like a dog?”

“He mentioned something about buffalo lungs the other day.”

As if hearing a magic word, He smiled at her widely, the kind he only did when actually excited. “He did? Where?”

“But I dont know if they're yours or his… he eats some pretty weird stuff.”

“Aye! Are you insulting our culture?”

“Maybe I am. What are you going to do about it, bellboy? He's not going to give you a treat if you keep misbehaving.”

Glaring, his arms crossed. “...You're the one being rude.. the Doctor says I'M not allowed to be rude so why can you? God he was always a hypocrite..”

“Look just-” But before she could continue, he heard a different noise. A known squeak of an in-need-of-oil door. Turning away, he ignored her, taking off towards the door.

“Typical..” she sighed, figuring she might as well go see if the Doctor would share his snacks or not, just incase he came back.

Running through the TARDIS Involved jumping over a couple of things and coming to a stop as he saw that curly headed woman standing in the doorway holding a box.

Stepping deeper into the TARDIS, Her heels tapped, No- Clicked against the tile, humming as she spun around what looked to be a set of keys on a colorful keychain. She was sporting a sun hat and far less clothing than he remembered her from last time. His nose scrunched at the smell of sun lotion.

Peering out the door, he seen tons of reddish tinted sand and a sky of orange, yellow, pink. A sea of red. A large pink moon, visible in the sky from where he stood. Where were they? When did they land?

“Ah ah ah- Not so fast Kitty. Where do you think you're going?” She asks, smirking with that type of affection that the Doctor would give him at times before snapping the door closed. It was so annoying..

Beginning to glare from the nickname, a quiet growl rose in his throat. She called him this because of the bell around his neck and the fact that she had caught him “purring” in his sleep, when OBVIOUSLY it was snoring. Duh.

“Why are you here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, pumpkin.”

His nose scrunched further, Tilting his head like a confused puppy, the way the Doctor does at times. “Why are you calling me a squash?”

“It's a form of endearment! I er- I think?”

Turning, He rolled his eyes. Oh great. Someone else who was annoying- Though… He looked.. different today. His hair was pushed back and shiney, probably with gel. He had that hideous footwear on again too, but now he was wearing a half opened blue palm tree shirt with parrots and coconuts on it. For a moment he was going to question why his shirt was half undone but saw him quickly trying to finish buttoning it up.

“Hello, Sweetie.”

“H-hi” His friend stuttered, trying to stay focused on his buttons and not the fact River was in a two piece and a small cover up tied around her waist.

“What's the rush? You act like you don't want me seeing you.”

“Oh n-No! Nothing like that! Not at all I just thought-”

River leaned in close to his face, that same smirk plastered onto her lips.

“You thought you wanted to make me work for it… Didn't you? Want me to rip it off with my teeth? You naughty boy.”

“I-..” The Doctor swallowed, looking as if he malfunctioned, like a restarting cellphone.

The Master made a fake gagging noise, rolling his eyes even harder as he pointed into his mouth.

“I thought I told you not to be rude?” Was the first thing the restarted phone said once it finished rebooting. Being scolded felt nice. All eyes in the room on him.

“What? I didn't even say anything this time.” He teased.

River smiled wider, fondly shaking her head as she handed him the small Rainbow clicky key chain. It was shaped like a slug and when you shook it, it made noise and moved in a slithering motion.

“You open that box, and it's yours, sweetie.”

“Why are you calling him sweetie?” He asked, stepping forward as If wanting attention too but she ignored him for now. She watched with a pleased grin as he took the box, looking at it, shaking it next to his ear.

“What is it?”

“Spoilers.”

“.. I hate when you say that..”

“I know. I've been having some trouble with it. The box I mean” She explains, her boyfriend now cocking a brow, pouting that the Master was getting more attention then him. If he knew one thing about River, it's that his dear Melody would never give a box to a man if she had trouble opening it. She'd just blow the lock off with one of her fancy guns.

“No you're no-”

She kissed him, grabbing his bow tie and staining his lips that bright red that she wore often. During their kiss, one of his once flat hairs stuck up, flopping over into his face.

Pulling away, he took a breath, baffled at what in the world was going on.

Completely ignoring this, as this was common whenever River came by, The Master was sitting on the floor, shoving One of the dozen keys into the hole, jiggling them around, cursing under his breath whenever they didn't work. Blinking, The Doctor smiled seeing how entertained he was, leaning in close to the woman. “What actually is in that box, River?”

“Oh you two are so much alike. Too curious for your own good.”

“What? No. We're nothing alike.”

“Yes we are. I've been saying this for eons.” the man on the floor muttered, Putting his arms up in triumph as he got the right key out of the dozen.

“What is it?” The Doctor asks, trying to peer over his shoulder.

“It's mine, that's what!” He says, taking out a box all taped up in clear cellophane but he could see the label, grinning widely to himself, keeping it close so the Doctor couldn't see. He knew he'd want to take it away. River was always bringing him treats. As many times as she made him gag, he always knew that her heels meant something good.

Glancing at River with those big puppy eyes, she giggled, taking his arm as she whispered to him. “It's a knife.”

“A what?! Why would you give him that!? You know he's-”

“Ooh hush. Let him have some fun.”

“If by fun you mean killing your parents and possibly me then sure- River why would you-”

She kissed him again.

“Mh- Thank you but you can't just keep-”

And again.

“River!” He whined

And another.

By now, he's learned not to speak or else she'd kiss him a fourth time just to shut him up. Not like it was a bad thing but he really was concerned.

“There's a good boy. Now. Is operation cat-astrophe still happening?”

For a moment or two, he seemed confused until she put her head towards the Master in which he gasped, nodding. “Oh Yes!”

“I see that Door is a check.” She mumbles, remembering how quickly he came when the door was opened.

“We're working on that. Clicky treats is a go I suppose?”

“Mmmhm. You should have seen how happy he was to see me.”

“Good good.. Just wished you would've chosen a different gift..”

“Just watch And see, sweetheart. Goodness so impatient.” She whispered.

During this conversation, nothing else mattered to the Master except biting and tearing through these 10 layers of tape. Growling, he was becoming a bit frustrated, but it only seemed to make him work harder at it, sticking out his tongue for maximum brain operation.

“Oh I love when he makes that face.”

“What face??”

“With his tongue? It's like you and your glasses.”

“What? No-”

“Yes.”

“AHA!!” He had finally ripped open the box, giggling to himself as he took his prize, quickly running off, probably to go attempt a murder.

“Hm. Well that lasted about 5 minutes…”

“How long do you think until he realizes it's bio locked?” She whispered, smirking like ever.

Staring at her, The Doctors grin grew. “Aahh I see.. you..”

“Mhm.”

“So that-”

“Yes.”

“And now?”

“Yup.. aannnd here he comes.” She could hear the incoming jingling from his bell serving it's purpose.

Coming back to them both, he was pissed. He had just tried to stab Amy and nothing happened, The blade just went inside like one of those cheap toys from the supermarket. He felt the blade. It was real, not plastic, So why wasn't it working? It wasn't fair.

“What did you do to my knife!?”

“Whatever do you mean, Pumpkin?”

“Stop calling me a squash you witch! I can't stab anybody! What kind of present is that!?”

“Did you try stabbing… Things?” River says, raising her brows in a pleased, smugness.

“Things?” Pausing for a few seconds, He soon got the biggest shit eating grin, Running away a second time. Moments later, they heard a crash, laughing, and a loud “Hey!!”

The Doctor blinked. “...He just broke your mothers vase..”

“It was a hideous vase.”

“River!”

“What? Now come on. We have some more training to do.”

Later, after the Master destroyed exactly 3 ceramic things, stabbed the table to death, ripped up all Rory's pillows, and used his new toy to cut up some cheese as a snack, He now was curious about the door again.

Sneaking towards it and looking outside like a cat that wanted to go out but was nervous he'd get scolded, he watched as the Doctor set up lounge chairs and towels on the beach.

Again the heels. Part of him became excited. He liked that clicking- But why? Since when did he like River?? He didn't. He didn't like anyone on this damned ship that he was prisoner to.

“Hi cupcake. You wanna go outside sweetpea?”

His eyebrows scrunched. “I'm not a baked goods… Or a flower. Are you insulting me?”

“Terms of endearment, dear. Remember? Anyway, Let's say you and me go outside hm?”

He looked at her with hesitance. She was being suspicious… He wasn't allowed outside. What was this? Some sort of test? Fine. He'd play their game.

“No… I'm not allowed outside.”

“Aww why not?”

“Cause..??” Was she stupid? Prisoners weren't allowed to leave. That's the whole point of his cuffs And collar. Kept on an invisible, metaphorical leash at all times.

“Well… The Doctor and I are going to sit on the beach. Do you want to come?”

The light in his eyes alone was enough to make River want to hug him to bits. Why were Time Lords so cute? Was it some sort of defense mechanism? Or was it the Feline Virus thing the Doctor told her about lingering in his genetic code?

Starting to nod, he quickly stopped, now playing with his hands. “no.. I'll get in trouble..” and just like that, that light died so soon. So short lived. Frowning, she almost felt pitiful for him. “That is true… but wait! Have you ever tried.. you know.. asking?”

“A-asking to go outside..?”

“Yes.”

“He'll just say no. Every time I get out, I get in trouble.”

“But did you ask?”

Poking his fingers together, he made a sound that sounded uncertain. It broke her heart. Now she was going to scold her husband.

“Alright.. well.. if you want to come join us outside, All you have to do is ask. Mkay?”

And she took off her heels, setting them up on the TARDIS dash only to walk out barefoot, the red sands making footprints as she went.

Standing at the door, now he was really unsure. This felt like a trap.. why would she tease him with freedom like that? Why would she give him a knife? And for the love of god- Why did he get excited when he heard her heels clicking on the TARDIS floor?

Slowly, he peeks his head out of the TARDIS, looking around the planet, The sky, the waves, the footprints she left.

“Hey!” Becoming startled, he jumped a bit, ducking back into the blue box. He wasn't entirely sure if these cuffs would electrocute him if he left or not.. even though Amy joked about them being shock bracelets… The Doctor couldn't do that..

Right?

“Do you want a Jelly worm?!” This was shouted from about 50 feet away by a man with his shirt half unbuttoned, holding a bag of candies while River slathered sunscreen all over him.

“I think theyre called Gummy worms, dear.” She mumbled.

“I'm certain they're called jelly worms.”

“Oh yeah? Read the package.”

Looking at the pack, He pouted. “Jelly worms sound cooler.”

Blinking, The Master wondered if he was talking to him or someone else.

“Me?”

“Yeah! You want a ‘Gummy worm'?!”

“What’s a gummy worm?! Can... I come outside?” This was asked in speaking tone rather then a shout.

“What!?”

“What's a gum-! You know what.. nevermind.” he mumbled, frowning as he stepped a foot on the sand, wincing, expecting his wrists to send electromagnetic shocks through his arms. But nothing happened.

Discovering this, he ran out of the TARDIS, circling round it before coming towards the other two, grinning.

“What's a gummy worm?”

“Its a jelly worm.”

“Oh! Yeah. Gummy Worm sounds stupid.”

He mumbled, being given a few of the candies. Glancing at River, The Doctor had a smug look, wiggling his eyebrows at her as she rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” He shoved one in his mouth. “I think-” another “-they're called jelly worms.” A third one.

“That's what I said! See?”

“Everyone else calls them Gummy worms because they're made with xanthan gum.”

“Like Xanax?”

“What!? No!” She laughed. “Goodness. You had some fun as Prime Minister didn't you?”

“What's Xanax?? Is that a fancy drink?” The Doctor asked, shoving some worms in his mouth as the two looked at each other as if mentally playing rock paper scissors to see which unlucky soul got to teach the Doctor about recreational drugs.

“Seeya-” He said, taking off.

“Ah you gotta be kitten me.” She smirks and the Doctor gives her a look as if to say ‘Really?’ Only to giggle too.

“That's just claw-ful!”

River gave a chuckle before sighing.

“Well.. looks like it's just you and me, sweetheart..”

“Fur-ever?” He held out his pinky, smirking as he raised his eyebrows a few times. River giggled, rolling her eyes only to take the pinky, bringing the intertwined fingers up to her lips.

“Fur-ever. Till the end?”

“Until the end of time and more, my darling.” He would never be able to forget her.. not ever. How could he?

A few times, The Master would run away, doing circles, Zoomies as river called it but never seemed to get too far from the TARDIS, returning when offered more Jelly worms, each time recieving a praise and a snack for coming back to them.

Now he was becoming bored of the laps, even going as far as putting his toes curiously into the ocean, realizing that it was warm. Like a water bottle left out in the sun. This displeased him. He was already hot from his laps around the beach, he didn't want hot water all over his body. Hot was an understatement. If it were hot like the baths he'd not mind but it was the gross kind of warm. The kind that felt yucky on your skin. God he hated water..

It was then he realized that outside of the TARDIS he had free will, coming over to lift the Doctor's chair, dumping him over only to run away, manically laughing, giggling almost.

“What the-!?”

“Catch me if you dare!” He yelled, Dashing off, further and further away. A rush of adrenaline and freedom taking over him. This seemed like the start of a fun game… that was until he had run so far that he was panting and the TARDIS looked like a tiny dot from here.

Where was everyone on this planet anyway? He'd come all this way and not seen a single person. Not a hint of a town, and definitely not a city. Part of him cursed the Doctor for taking him to a deserted solar system with no one to play with- and on top of that, For not chasing after him. He knew how this game worked, didn't he? One ran, the other chased. It's been like this for thousands of years.

So why not now? Was it because of that woman? The daughter of Amelia Pond? This still confused him greatly. He understood the concept of time travel, duh, but what confused him is why her parents would let her marry A dingus like the Doctor. I mean really? Why did she lower her standards?*

Eventually, curiosity killed the cat. He ran as far as he could, trying to find any forms of life, only finding himself alone. Completely and utterly abandoned it seemed. This puzzled him. Why would the Doctor want to come here? There was nothing but a waste land of sand.

Later, When he came back into the TARDIS painting, sweating, and whining from all that walking and running. He shut the door, collapsing on the floor as he laid there, feeling her cool air coming up from the grates and her cold metal against his skin.

Just because Gallifreyans were resistant to heat didn't mean that going out in the blazing sun with a black hoodie was a good idea. Especially not when there wasn't anywhere to go. Not even a tree in sight.

“Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in.” The curly haired woman says, Smiling as she sat next to the Doctor on the torn up sofa that they apparently had moved into the TARDIS control room. (For whatever reason)

They probably had just finished kissing (or got interrupted) seeing as there was lipstick smeared over the Doctors lips and he doubted heavily that the doctor applied it himself… He wasn't THAT much of an idiot… He knew how to appropriately apply lipstick.. even he knew that.

“Why didn't you tell me there wasn't anything out there!?”

“We figured you'd find out for yourself sooner or later” The Doctor says, Scooting over, Trying to wipe the lipstick off of him only to smear it onto his hand and cuff.

“Who's we? Come're baabbyyy” River coed, putting her arms out to him.

Without a second to think about it, he began to scramble over to her only, crawling the few feet only to stop dead in his tracks. What the fuck was he doing? And why?

Sure he's laid between them multiple times to purposely frustrate them, but now it seemed as if they were welcoming him with literal open arms. Why? Cocking a brow, He himself was now frustrated, why were they being so… Kind.. to him? For what? His thinking soon sufficed when called for again.

“Come on. Come to mommy. What did that mean man do to you, hm?” She coed.

“I am not! He's just… bad!”

“Oh he's not bad! He's bored.”

"Yeah! There's a difference!" He awnsered And just like that, in her lap he went, being sure to push the Doctor away from her with his feet, trying to be a menace as much as possible, laying his head in her lap as he stared up at her. Petting his head, she giggled, talking to him further to make him feel pampered and praised. If there was one thing she knew, The Master adored being worshipped and given attention. Ignoring him made things 10 times worse, so she's learned that if she petted him long enough he would go to sleep and she could talk to her dear husband some more before the little gremlin woke up.

“What did he do, hm?? So cruel. Leaving you out there all alone?” River smirked as he already was droopy lidded, nodding softly along with the words.

“I did not. It's his fault for running off.”

“Oooh he's done nothing wrong.”

“... It's really hard to teach him when you keep enabling him, love..”

“That's why it's called Paw-sitive reinforcement, Doctor.” She said this in a sing-songy voice, Letting him get comfy as he turned over, Subconsciously nuzzling up to her hands and stomach.

Truth be told, he could care less what they were talking about right now. He was far too tired to listen to them bicker, using it as white noise, hoping it would drown out the drums that pounded in his head every waking moment of existence.

While they were faint, they were still there. At the back of his mind, like trying to smash through a 2 foot thick wall of ice, bound to break eventually, but right now, they gave him comfort. A constant reminder of who he was and that if anything was real? It was the pounding.

The warmth of her hands also gave him comfort, running her pointed red nails through his bleached blonde and trailing up and down his back through his hoodie.

A few minutes pass and the Doctor is now staring at them with a fond look, a shallow pang of jealousy but he wasn't sure about who. He was jealous of River for being able to get HIS best friend so cuddly and he was jealous of the master for cuddling up to HIS wife. It made him want to take him from her, put him on his lap and let him sleep there instead, but also shove him off the couch and take his place. God this was so difficult. How did humans do this relationship thing? It was so… annoying yet.. wonderful! He wouldn't change it for the world. He was so sleepy and… beautiful.

“You're staring sweetie..”

The voice echoed through his brain once, then twice before he looked up. “Huh?”

“You're staring again… Don't worry. You'll get your turn.”

“When?”

“Oooh so impatient.”

“No I mean- I.. When can I hold him?”

Her eyes widened, not aware that she had been hogging, let alone that he would want a turn at all. “Well… You can have him now if you'd like.”

“I..” Man this was embarrassing. “I think I'd like that.”

Carefully, They moved him from one lap to another, Which at first led to a protest of whining and gentle clawing**, Assuming he was falling off the couch.

“Shh shh shh. No honey. You're okay. You're just fine.” She whispered, pulling his hands away, trying to keep him from sitting up by putting her hand up under the thick sweater, scratching his back ever so gently the way he enjoyed before.

Letting out a sigh of relief, His shoulders dropped, curling up the way he liked in the Doctor's lap instead, a deep rumbling beginning from him. “.. He's so tired..”

“From all that running around, probably.” She whispered, enjoying his purring.

“No.. He's exhausted. His last regeneration went a bit..wonky. I don't even know if….If..” He trailed off, the way he did when he wanted to stop talking about something instead of when he forgot what he was saying.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

Snickering, He shook his head. “No... I just.. even Time Lords can only take so much and..”

River knew. He watched him die. He burnt his body. He gave him a proper death ***ceremony- well.. about as proper as you could without others knowing.

“So it's a good thing you're taking care of him. Isn't it?”

“That's the thing. It's not that he can't do it himself, it's just that.. He's reckless..”

“Oh and I suppose we aren't?”

“River.. I don't.. I thought I was the last one for so long. I..” He took a breath, swallowing. She could see the pain and fear in his eyes.

“I can't go back to that.. Hell. For the last few months, I've been spraying him with-”

“Doctor..” She muttered a warning, noticing that the purring had stopped, but he continued.

“Catmint tea just so he'd calm down enough to-”

“You've been spraying me WITH TEA!? THIS ENTIRE TIME?!”

The woman smiled innocently, seeing the murderous glares.

“Whoops! Cats out of the bag.”

“River-! Not now!”

*just wait until he finds out she married Jack Harkness while he had the doctor caged up LOL

** clutching/ trying to hold on, he does not have retractable nails.

*** Like Torvic's. Thats why it hurt so bad.

[theprodigalpragmatist]

Fic Tag Chain

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! (thank you to @roxannepolice for the tag!!!)

"Six dogs. One Will Graham." ~ old mr graham had troubles of his own (will graham + dogs + cat + L + ratio)

"At first there’s sound—noise, really—it grates and grates and is that panting he hears?" ~ you reap what you sow (uhhh...tensimm identity crisis with a twist, we'll go with)

“Kneel.” ~ cut mouth bleeding razors (tensimm smut, with its own twist, even...)

"The issue isn’t that the Doctor is old, though he is…unpleasant to look at, the Master can admit that." ~ hand in unlovable hand in unlovable hand (simm master + simm master + ten + the most rancid selfcest vibes in eternity)

"They used to play a game when they were children, a long, long time ago." ~ a martyrdom, a kingdom that will never come (part ii of a gallifreyan funerary ritual fic w/ @koscheiisms, tensimm edition)

"Borusa was the one who found them." the purest lick of fire (part i of the gallifreyan funerary ritual fic, academy era thoschei, torvic rock murder ft. borusa pov)

"He stumbles, helpless as a newborn woprat, and sometimes not being bad is like being good, so she watches him meet the ground of his own accord without throwing herself into the mix." ~ and i find you with a thimble weeping (tenmissy <3 beloved tenmissy <3)

"He opens his eyes to darkness, to a staunch nothingness that grates in its totality." Clawing for the Stars (sam tyler whump) (edit: currently hidden because of bot targeting 😔)

"Crawly adjusted the tails of their blouse around their embroidered girdle, the shirt spread wide and exposing the smooth planes of their chest." As time began unwinding, I'd be yours alone (aziracrow through the ages + music)

"The knife glints in the peek between shadows—sharp, wicked, honed to a point and chipped towards the hilt." i'm only what you wanted for a little while (installment from ongoing series informally known as 'saxteen kissies')

WOW okay i am terrible at analysis...however, fascinated by the recent trend of launching into the thick of it...in my head, most of my fics start with a heavy lead-up, this is really great insight! and was a blast to do, so thank you again @roxannepolice!

tagging @lohengreen @harrowq @koscheiisms @incorrectquotesconaisseur @thesecondbeatitude (fully sure i've double tagged people but soo la voo, as the kids say) (please join in if not tagged if you'd like!)

[findyourrp]

About Me: 21+. She/Her. I write on Discord or through Tumblr messages. I like to stick to Tumblr for plotting. I write in third person, past tense and around 200-400 words. Daily replies will not happen because I work full-time. I try to get replies out within 2-3 days. If it's going to take longer than 5+ days, I'll let you know.

What I'm Looking For: 21+ writing partners for my two biggest fandoms right now: Baldur's Gate 3 and Doctor Who. I'm open to canon x canon or canon x OC pairings. I'm more picky when writing against OCs, so please don't take it personally if I turn your OC down. MxM ships are my preference, but I'm willing to do a limited amount of MxF (I don't have any female muses for either fandom so no FxF). I lean towards romantic ships and writing NSFW/smut (with a healthy amount of plot) but neither are required for these. As far as plots go, as long as it makes sense in the universe, I'll generally be okay with it. 🌎

I'll be listing my main muses for each fandom on the left, and the characters on the right are those I'd most like to ship them against. I'm open to discussing other ships too.

Baldur's Gate 3:

Astarion - Gale, Raphael, Wyll, Halsin

Gale - Astarion, Raphael, Wyll, Shadowheart

Elkantar (m!OC ; Lolth-Sworn Drow Fighter) - Astarion, Raphael, Gale

Raphael - Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Haarlep

Rhogar (m!OC ; Green Dragonborn Wizard) - Gale, Wyll, Astarion

Doctor Who:

Eleventh Doctor - Jack, Rory, Amy, Clara

Fifth Doctor - Turlough, Ainley!Master

Fourteenth Doctor - Jack, Rose

Rogue - Fifteen, Any Other Doctor, Jack

Sixth Doctor - Ainley!Master

Tenth Doctor - Jack, Simm!Master

If you'd like to work something out, please like this post and I'll message you as soon as I can.

Please like this only if you actually want to do something.

.

[roleplayfinder]

About Me: 21+. She/Her. I write on Discord or through Tumblr messages. I like to stick to Tumblr for plotting. I write in third person, past tense and around 200-400 words. Daily replies will not happen because I work full-time. I try to get replies out within 2-3 days. If it's going to take longer than 5+ days, I'll let you know.

What I'm Looking For: 21+ writing partners for my two biggest fandoms right now: Baldur's Gate 3 and Doctor Who. I'm open to canon x canon or canon x OC pairings. I'm more picky when writing against OCs, so please don't take it personally if I turn your OC down. MxM ships are my preference, but I'm willing to do a limited amount of MxF (I don't have any female muses for either fandom so no FxF). I lean towards romantic ships and writing NSFW/smut (with a healthy amount of plot) but neither are required for these. As far as plots go, as long as it makes sense in the universe, I'll generally be okay with it. 🌎

I'll be listing my main muses for each fandom on the left, and the characters on the right are those I'd most like to ship them against. I'm open to discussing other ships too.

Baldur's Gate 3:

Astarion - Gale, Raphael, Wyll, Halsin

Gale - Astarion, Raphael, Wyll, Shadowheart

Elkantar (m!OC ; Lolth-Sworn Drow Fighter) - Astarion, Raphael, Gale

Raphael - Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Haarlep

Rhogar (m!OC ; Green Dragonborn Wizard) - Gale, Wyll, Astarion

Doctor Who:

Eleventh Doctor - Jack, Rory, Amy, Clara

Fifth Doctor - Turlough, Ainley!Master

Fourteenth Doctor - Jack, Rose

Rogue - Fifteen, Any Other Doctor, Jack

Sixth Doctor - Ainley!Master

Tenth Doctor - Jack, Simm!Master

If you'd like to work something out, please like this post and I'll message you as soon as I can.

Please like this only if you actually want to do something.

.

[tardis-ghost-blog]

Summary: The Master can't bring himself to leave the TARDIS, although the Doctor finally set him free. There is a secret the Master is keeping in one of the rooms. And there is also the fact that the Doctor blurted out some very important three words while being drunk.

Pairings: Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm), The Master (Simm)/Original Female Character(s), The Doctor (Doctor Who) & Original Female Character(s), Donna Noble & Original Character(s)

Characters: Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who), The Master (Simm), Donna Noble, Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tag: Enemies to Lovers, somewhere in the middle of it and also already in the aftermath, Thoschei, Polygamy, The Master did something stupid and isn't sure if he regrets it, of course he does - but simply admitting it would be boring, POV The Master (Doctor Who), (later) POV Original character (first person), Angst, So much angst it should be listed as its own character, eventual sm… who are we kidding?, they can't keep their hands from one another and fuck around in the very first chapter, Smut, Fluff and Humor, might and WILL get dark and some point, my stories just do that… and don't even ask for permission, The Master's Drums (Doctor Who), mostly original contentbut also some episodes with my own twists, post slow burn (is that a genre?), all of them have no idea how romance works, might be my fault, Autistic Character, Telepathy, Time Lord Telepathy (Doctor Who), Hypnotism, Self-Insert

[cringecompanionapologist]

Doctor Who Shipping Statistics: Because I'm Bored and I Like This Sort of Thing

So, I decided to see which Doctor Who ships were the most popular in the fandom, not because it matters, but because shipping is fun.

This probably isn't an accurate ranking of which ships are the most popular though, because it's just the amount of fics on Ao3. I'm only going off Ao3 because it's the only fic site where statistics are easy to find, because pairings are tagged and the number of fics with a tag can be counted.

If there's a really popular ship that people don't write fic for, for some reason, it won't show up on my radar, which is fine because this isn't exactly Science. It's fucking around with lists out of curiosity.

So, let's get started!

I started off with just finding the top 10 ships for Doctor Who in general. To no one's surprise, it was completely dominated by New Series pairings. The New Series tends to encourage more shipping and is ongoing, so more people are paying attention to it. Therefore, more fic.

10/Rose

13/Yaz

11/River

Metacrisis 10/Rose (That's the human clone of 10 btw)

9/Rose

12/Clara

Amy/Rory

Doctor (in general)/Rose

Doctor (in general)/River

Doctor (in general)/Master

Only Doctor/Master could be a pairing without any New Series characters, because that would include Classic!Doctor/Classic!Master.

Also, you might notice a lot of Rose. Get used to that. She's inescapable.

Anyway, I decided to filter the search to only E-Rated fics to see if there was a major difference when smut was involved. This didn't actually change very much:

10/Rose

13/Yaz

Doctor/Master (the Master comes up a lot more on the smut list lol)

12/Clara

Metacrisis 10/Rose

9/Rose

13/Dhawan!Master

10/Simm!Master

10/Jack (of course he'd show up more on the smut list)

11/River

What this reveals is that people are more interested in Doctor/Master smut than Doctor/Master romance, which honestly makes a lot of sense. The smut list is also slightly less het than the overall list. Slash fans appear to be the horniest of shippers. As a slash smut writer/enthusiast, I can't really protest.

But, what about Classic Who? I was more interested in Classic than New, so I looked at fics tagged Doctor Who (1963) specifically, instead of Doctor Who in general. Most Classic Who fics are tagged this way, so you'll find more Classic Who there. Here's the results:

Doctor/Master

2/Jamie

10/Rose (Yes, there's still new stuff in hear and of course it's Rose)

3/Delgado!Master

Tegan/Nyssa

4/Sarah Jane

7 and Ace (Notice the and. Platonic relationships get tagged too)

Ian/Barbara

6/Peri

5/Ainley!Master

And I did an E-Rated Only list for Doctor Who (1963) as well:

Doctor/Master

6/Peri (They seem to be more popular as smut than anything else)

3/Delgado!Master

5/Ainley!Master

2/Jamie

Tegan/Nyssa

5/Tegan (I see a lot of fics for this ship and feel strangely jealous...)

10/Simm!Master (A new series ship that isn't 10/Rose?!)

Mel/Ace

7/Ace (No and this time. They get shipped sometimes.)

Once again, Doctor/Master gets a lot of smut. Also, I think this is the first list to not include 10/Rose :)

Look, I don't hate 10/Rose. I'm pretty indifferent towards 10/Rose. Rose is nowhere near my favorite companion, but nowhere near my least favorite either. I just get a bit tired of seeing her absolutely everywhere.

I think decided to check for fics tagged with each Classic Doctor to see who they get paired with the most. I'll list every character who they're shipped with in the top 10.

First Doctor: Rose

There are at least 3 separate fics about Rose fucking every incarnation of the Doctor. If it was River or Jack, I probably wouldn't care, but Rose is not the Doctor's One True Love. And least River can claim dibs on having married an incarnation and Jack is Jack. This is what I mean about seeing her everywhere. Rose is often treated like the most important companion in the history of the show when she's just as important as any other companion. There's probably reason for this mindset that I could go into, but I'd like to finish my list first.

I did the E-Rated Only thing for each Doctor as well. Yes, for all of them. I'm curious and I fear no smut.

First Doctor (E): Rose, Barbara (there are at least 2 1/Barbara fics)

Second Doctor: Jamie

E-Rated Only doesn't change that. Fics tagged with the Second Doctor still contain a lot of Rose Ships, but 2 isn't emphasized quite as much. 2/Jamie is basically THE Second Doctor ship.

Third Doctor: Delgado!Master, Brigadier, Jo, Sarah Jane

E-Rated Only is the same characters in a different order

Third Doctor (E): Delgado!Master, Jo, Brigadier, Sarah Jane

Jo gets more smut than the Brig.

Fourth Doctor: Sarah Jane, Romana II, Sarah Jane/Harry, Rose, Ainley!Master

The Rose Fucks Everyone fics strike again! Also, we get our first OT3 with 4/Sarah Jane/Harry.

Fourth Doctor (E): Sarah Jane, Leela, Rose

Of course Leela would get more smut. I'm surprised with the lack of Romana though. Both Romanas are gorgeous and 4/Romana is the closest to a canon Doctor/Companion ship we get in Classic Who. Maybe it's a Time Lord Thing.

Okay, on to the Fifth.

Fifth Doctor: Ainley!Master, Tegan, Turlough, Nyssa, Rose

Yes, 5/Tegan is more popular than 5/Turlough right now. I'm fine really. 5/Master being at the top of the list is kind of what I'd expected though.

Fifth Doctor (E): Ainley!Master, Tegan, Turlough, Nyssa, Simm!Master, 6

Unlike most Classic Doctors, 5 is Young and Pretty, so he reminds people of 10 and gets porn with 10's Master. Also, Tegan is still ahead of Turlough.

Shipping wars are mostly bad, especially when people try to claim a moral high ground for their ship. I don't want to get involved in any hostilities just because my ship isn't as popular as another ship.

However, maybe encouraging some friendly competition by saying "more 5/Turlough fic should be written" wouldn't be going too far. If you ship 5/Turlough and write fanfiction, write a 5/Turlough fic because winning is fun.

Anyway, how about the Sixth Doctor?

Sixth Doctor: Peri, Ainley!Master, Rose

Sixth Doctor (E): Peri, Ainley!Master, Mel, 5, Charley, Rose

Our first Big Finish companion! Also, I was so distracted by shipping jealousy with 5 that I forgot to mention the selfcest. I think one person wrote a bunch of 5/6 smut fics.

Seventh Doctor: Ace, Ainley!Master

Ace was 7's definitive companion, so if people want to ship him with someone, I'm guessing she's the obvious choice. I personally see 7 as the one incarnation I just can't pair with anyone, but People Can Do Whatever They Want Forever.

That includes writing smut! The E-Rated Only round is the same two pairings in the same order.

Lastly, we get the Eighth Doctor. He's always interesting in terms of fandom because his televised run was one movie. Anyone who's familiar with him has had to see out audios and novels. The audios and the novels each of their own Definitive Eighth Doctor Companion.

But they somehow all lose to fucking Rose again!

Eighth Doctor: Rose, Charley, Fitz, Grace

The three Not Roses can all be explained. Charley is the Definitive BF Eighth Doctor Companion and the Big Finish audios are the most popular Eighth Doctor stories, especially since they're still ongoing in some form. The EDA novels ended around the time the new series began, so Fitz isn't as well-known as Charley. But, in the book version of the Eighth Doctor's adventures, Fitz is basically 8's Jamie. He's a guy who stays with him forever and is more prominent than the female companions of the era.

As for Grace, she's the only onscreen Eighth Doctor companion and they kiss.

The Eighth Doctor was the first Doctor to really be portrayed romantically. 1 got a one-shot love interest and the first four classic Doctors were allowed to flirt with someone from time to time. The Doctor wasn't a traditional male lead and he didn't have long-term love interests because no one writing him was really into that. It wasn't until the 1980s that Doctor romances were flat out banned. They made JNT nervous.

This led to a period of time where not only did the Doctor not get love interests, but it had to be emphasized that Doctor Who Has Never Fucked Ever. Not even for reproduction. The 20th anniversary came with a Radio Times short story establishing that Susan was adopted. Along with that, when filming The Five Doctors, Carol Ann Ford was told not to call the Doctor "grandfather", because that might make people think the Doctor had sex at some point. Ford laughed at the whole thing and was allowed, for continuity's sake, to call the Doctor "grandfather" anyway.

There's nothing inherently wrong with interpreting the Doctor as aroace, or Not Having Fucked Ever and Susan being adopted. It just shouldn't be something treated as Sacred Lore That the Americans Ruined With Their Stupid Movie. The rule against the Doctor having love interests was made by a producer that the same fans who claim that this rule is sacred usually fucking hate.

Doctor Who fucks however much you want him to.

But, because 8 was allowed to have love interests, 8/Charley, 8/Fitz, and 8/Grace are all varying levels of canon. I haven't listened to much of 8's BF stuff yet, but from what I can tell, 8/Charley was mostly one-sided, but might've not been. 8/Fitz wasn't as directly discussed in-universe and came across as Canon in All But Name.

We got sidetracked. Here's the E-Rated Only thing:

Eighth Doctor (E): Rose, Charley, Fitz, Roberts!Master, Jacobi!Master

Of course there's Master smut. This is an established pattern.

Since we've already gotten sidetracked, I'd also like to say a bit more about Rose.

I think that for fans that got into the show at any time other than right as the new series began, it's hard to see why Rose is not only super popular, but still dominant in fandom, appearing in more Ao3 fics than any incarnation of the Doctor. The thing is, Rose was the first companion for a lot of people and her introduction worked differently than similar first companions.

If you started watching the classic or new series at any point but the very beginning, someone had probably already told you that companions come and go. No individual companion is a vital component of the show. You might get really attached to Sarah Jane, but she leaves and the show continues without her. This will happen to every companion.

The only exceptions to this were people starting at the beginning of a series, before any companions had left yet. This makes Susan/Ian/Barbara as a team similar to Rose as existing before the show could exist without them. But, there's three of them and only one Rose.

There's also the way their introductions are set up. Both An Unearthly Child and Rose (the episode) start with the companions and introduce the Doctor through their eyes. They're normal people in present day London who walk into something strange. But, there's a certain even distribution between characters in An Unearthly Child. The entire show is named for the Doctor, the first episode is named for Susan, but Ian and Barbara are the real main characters.

But, though Doctor Who is still named after the Doctor, the first story is called Rose and is about Rose. To someone unfamiliar with the classic series, the show has established Rose as the main character of Doctor Who, the center of the show's universe. The idea that there could be Doctor Who without Rose doesn't seem to add up.

In Series 2, School Reunion is the point where Rose (and the new audience along with her) learns that the Doctor traveled with humans before her. She's traveled with Jack, so she knows that other companions can happen, but she thought she was the first, the special human the Doctor bonded with. She's special, but only because all of the Doctor's companions are special. She's part of a group of special people.

While the classic series audience would've recognized Sarah Jane and enjoyed seeing her again, the new audience would've learned that the Doctor had companions before Rose at all. You could swap Sarah Jane with a completely original character that the Doctor recognizes as a former companion, and the same point would be made.

So, School Reunion attempted to do some damage control. Rose was leaving at the end of the season and establishing that she wasn't the first companion would make it clear that this would be a normal part of the show. Doctor Who would go on without Rose.

But, the show was incapable of leaving it there. After a Big Dramatic Exit, Rose haunted the show longer than any companion had before, new series companions included. Until Jack returns in Utopia, the Doctor doesn't seem that upset over losing him. The show moved on. But, Series 3 has the Doctor still not over Rose, causing him to be a dick to Martha. Audience members that warmed up to Martha will be mad at the Doctor now and audience members still upset over Rose will turn on Martha because the Doctor does.

Series 4 brings Rose back and gives her a second send-off, once again establishing that the show can't let Rose go. It wasn't until the change of showrunner that Rose was allowed to be just another companion.

This was sort of the same thing that happened when 10 regenerated. The show wouldn't let the characters go, so audiences that'd grown attached refused to let go either, screwing over the next in line. Rose is treated as the Most Important Companion because the show wouldn't let her go, when the show normally lets companions go.

So, that's why Rose is shipped with every Doctor and is inescapable. Once again, I don't dislike Rose. I just find it annoying when she's given special treatment, though from everything I've just said, I know why. I started watching Doctor Who right before the 50th anniversary, almost exactly a decade ago, so when I starting watching the show on Netflix, I saw how many seasons there were and knew that things changed a lot. When my friends talked about the show, it was all 11th Doctor stuff, but I already knew that he was on his way out. I consider 12 to be My Doctor because he was the first Doctor I experienced live, basically. He showed up around the same time I did.

Watching the 1st Doctor's episodes for the first time while overhearing multiple hissy fits over the new Doctor being "too old" was an experience.

Okay, I've rambled this thing to death. Hope we all learned something.

[valentinetypewriter]

Valentine's Main Masterlist

Update!!!

You can ask me anything through my inbox, headcanons and opinions on fandom stuff (though I'm not taking request for writing)

Marauders only Masterlist

please be aware that only until recently this blog was dedicated to all things Marauders era, so there's a lot more stuff there.

☆Series☆

Help me plan a Maze Runner fic series with a series of polls

☆.☆.☆.☆.☆

Predator and Prey (completed)

Doctor who / The Master x reader smut

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // chapter 3

☆Fics☆

Knife happy Medjacks (platonic/unspecified x gn! Medjack! Reader)

☆Incorrect quotes☆

The Maze Runner (Ivy Trio) x reader

☆Headcanons☆

Krillitane reader x Different Master's nsfw (Simm, Missy, Dhawan)

[gayasshedgebitch]

I wrote my first real smut and of course it's tensimm 😅

Devour the Sacrifice

Doctor Who

Rated E

Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm)

Summary: The Doctor has been mistaken for a god (again) so when the locals give him an offering of the Master... who is he to refuse?

[imdoingawesome]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Fourteenth Doctor/The Master (Simm), Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm) Characters: Fourteenth Doctor (Doctor Who), The Master (Simm) Additional Tags: POV Alternating, Power Imbalance, Morally Ambiguous Character, Smut, Using sex as a coping mechanism, Dubious Consent, the TARDIS is a convenient plot device, the Doctor is an idiot (affectionate)

“We’ve been orbiting each other for thousands of years, and all that time, I kept thinking that I needed to save you. That I needed to make you good somehow. But look at us. We’re two tired, sad, old Time Lords, and we fit together. We work like this!”

[ao3feed-torchwood]

The Silver Torchwood

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52591651 by noodleleg This book includes the Torchwood crew and my OC Silver (destined to become a solar system) this follows her through side adventures which don't quite fit with the plot of my previous books in this series. There are are also X READERS in this book and probably will be incorrect quotes. Words: 14848, Chapters: 5/?, Language: English Series: Part 4 of DOCTA WHA?! Fandoms: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Torchwood, Doctor Who: Past Doctor Adventures - Various Authors Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, The Master (Simm), Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who), Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who), Twelfth Doctor, Original Time Lord Character(s) (Doctor Who), Missy (Doctor Who), Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, Fourth Doctor (Doctor Who) Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Tenth Doctor & Jack Harkness, Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness, Jack Harkness & Team Torchwood, John Hart & Team Torchwood, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Gwen Cooper & Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper & Jack Harkness & Owen Harper & Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Original Female Character(s), Twelfth Doctor/Original Male Character(s), the mistress/original female character, The Master/Original Time Lord Character(s) (Doctor Who), Eleventh Doctor/Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Humour, Comedy, Science Fiction