#similar to something i wrote with a friend a long time ago XD but way way different story hehe

[lil-melody-moon]

Hello Mel! I hope you’re doing well 🥰 I’ve seen that you reblogged the album ask thingy. I’m not sure if I have to give you the name of the album and a number or just the album and you answer all of the questions. So, If it’s not too much to ask, can you answer all of the 10 questions about Quadrophenia? I know how much you love that album and I’d like to know your thoughts on that one❤️ Also, you know how much I love to see your posts talking about the music you love hehe. Love ya <3

Hello, I've been doing so so but thank you for asking <3

The thing for it is to give a name for the album and some numbers, but what you ask for is perfect! I was hoping for someone to asking about "Quadrophenia", thank you that it was you! So without further ado.

1. Favourite and least favourite track?

Oh Gosh this will be difficult.

"5:15" is my favorite track of the whole album because of a few things. First being the fact that this was the first song I heard from this album. Funny story, mom wrote down a Depeche Mode song called "Little 15" and she wrote that it is a The Who song so I typed it in and "5:15" came up so we've listened. Mom didn't like it very much, but I fucking vibed - you can imagine my sheer surprise when I've found the album where this song was. Also, The Who's compilation CD I have has three tracks from "Quadrophenia" and "5:15" is one of them. Those three are never played quietly on dad's stereo system, never.

Now to the least favorite I actually don't know if I have one like that. I literally love every track on this album, but maybe I'll go with "I Am The Sea" because it's only an ambient of waves - which is very nice as an opening, considering how the story on album opens with "The Real Me", but ya know. Almost no music.

2. Side A or B? (for later releases: first half or second half; for doubles: A, B, C or D?)

This is a double so I have to choose between C and D - A and B are good too, but the rest of the tracks after "5:15" my beloved <3

And I think I'll go with C so that would include: "5:15", "Sea and Sand", "Drowned" and "Bell Boy". There's just something in those tracks that makes me get lost in music each time I hear them. I'm always missing the point where "Sea and Sand" ends and "Drowned" starts. Either it's so smoothly going from one to the other or I'm just so lost between notes. Plus there's "Bell Boy" come on, how could I not pick this side? XD

3. Thoughts on the cover art/packaging?

Just look at this beauty! Washed from colors, depressing with only Jimmy on the cover while the rest of the band is seen in the side mirrors. The cover speaks for itself. The first time I saw it I just felt I was up to listen to something good and damn, I wasn't wrong. I love the cover so much that I would be glad to have it as a poster in my room. I'm not joking, I even saw a similar big flag to buy and if I had money and space in my room for it, I would buy it - this album is my religion <3

4. Are any of the tracks important/meaningful to you? Why?

Oh God, the whole album is important, but if I have to narrow it to a few songs... I will talk about very personal stuff here.

"Cut My Hair" Now this is like an opening track to the beginning of the story, to see how Jimmy feels emotionally, but the tone and the entire setting of how his life looked, now that is what brought my attention right from the beginning. The guy just doesn't fit in, feels like an outcast and this verse right there:

Why do I have to be different to them? Just to earn the respect of a dance hall friend Have the same old row again and again Why do I have to move with a crowd Of kids that hardly notice I'm around? I work myself to death just to fit in

It reminds me of my days when i tried to fit in the society I live in. Now, I literally don't care how other see me, but I can see that with my clothing, interests, way of thinking I just don't fit in and I probably never will. But I gave up on "moving with a crowd" long time ago. And from here, my dear friend, things started rolling.

"I'm One"

This one is a simple matter, first verse bringing this in:

Every year is the same And I feel it again I'm a loser - no chance to win Leaves start falling Come down is calling Loneliness starts sinking in

Describing the loneliness Jimmy feels is very personal. I might not show it, but I'm a really lonely person, not being able to find the second half, searching for some understanding on that matter. I have the luck to have my mom who understands me because she was going through the same, but ya know. It ain't the same as having a boyfriend. Plus I just love how the last three lines of lyrics in this verse creates that autumn vibe <3

"Drowned"

Just because of the general tone and a call for freedom. The only ones truly free in this world are birds, we as humans are not. This chorus:

Let me flow into the ocean Let me get back to the sea Let me be stormy, let me be calm Let the tide in and set me free

Speaks exactly about it. Just to be free as the ocean's waves, it just sounds so nice <3

"Love Reign O'er Me"

I see this song as a call/prayer for love, for some understanding and affection. On top of that, it's also the emotional conclusion of the whole story, chaotic one, but so good to listen to every time. I think the most beautiful verse in this song is this one:

Only love can bring the rain That makes you yearn to the sky Only love can bring the rain That falls like tears from on high

I had the luck to discover this album and get first stage obsessed with it after watching a documentary talking about Keith Moon's death. I had the luck to fall in love with this song at that time and this verse which I quote here is exactly how I felt back then about it. Doesn't mean I feel differently about this song now, oh no, actually this song is the most meaningful to me from the few I've mentioned. I will sound insane now, but lonely heart searches for replacements and mine found such a one in this lunatic. Yep, I'm in love with Keith Moon. Can't help it, just like I can't help it but connect this song somehow to this weird situation.

5. When did you first hear the album?

UMN... September last year, I'm sure of it. Second The Who album I've listened to, wait a bit. ...23rd of September actually (month after Keith's birthday, can my discovering of The Who and him somehow become even more weird?). I had this album wrote down to listen to later after discovering "5:15" by accident as I've described above. I remember this day clearly.

I was fresh after lunch, excited actually just by seeing the cover. Listened to it once and then it went on repeat. I had to listen to it three times to have enough for one day. And it played for the entire week without breaks. This was just the beginning of my obsession with it tho XD

6. Have your thoughts on the album changed since you first heard it?

Yep they did. From first: "This is great" to the now "Favorite album of the 70s" I had like three stages with this one.

First stage obsession was the first week that it played each day.

Then came the second stage at the beginning of this year, just after I've watched the movie.

To then come to the third stage when I'm playing this album whenever I feel bad or songs from it are stuck in my head. A religion, you should understand XD

7. Are you a fan of other works by the artist/in the genre?

Of course! I will not rank The Who's albums here, but every single one of them has something good in it. Every single one is somehow different. I don't know how did they pull this off, but they did and OH am I so glad for that!

Also, I can kind of call myself a fan of Pete Townshend, especially if it comes to lyrics, I fucking adore how he writes and honestly I can't wait to have free time to get to his solo albums <3

8. A lyric you like from the album

I actually talked about this one in The Who ask, but here, a fragment from "Bell Boy":

Some nights I still sleep on the beach Remember when stars were in reach Then I wander in early to work Spend my day licking boots for my perks

Love Keith's soft voice in this one, I adore it. There are no words that could describe what I feel when I hear him there.

9. How did you discover the album?

Like I've said, through my mom's mistake, but it was a day after I've listened to "Who's Next" that I went to see other songs by The Who and "5:15" started playing randomly. I recognized it immediately and I wrote down the name of the album, just to give it a listen a few days later.

10. Do you own/would you like to own a physical copy of the album?

I don't own a physical copy of it, but I want it, I really want it at home. It's as important to me as getting "Help!" and "Abbey Road" by The Beatles and those two were a must at home. Same with "Waiting for the Sun" by The Doors. All three mentioned are at home already, "Quadrophenia" has to be here as well.

But I will say this. I will feel sorry for my neighbors once I get it. I can't play the three tracks quietly, let alone the entire album XD

[lyxvija]

heard you wanna ramble about our bug bf huh? GO AHEAD!! make it angsty.... here's my suggestion HUEHEUEHUE im feeling evil.

s/o sees him getting touchy with the twins, its just his nature, but they're jealous, they try to get at him, fail miserably. and when they confront each other He's already in a pissy mood after a long day of work, maybe he yells at them, maybe tries to dismiss them, they're not communicating, throwing accusations at each other.

OR MAYBE! he's gone too long and been too busy at work and can't spend much time with his s/o and so they try to discuss it with him but he's too tired and grumpy to hear it.

OR EVEN THIS!!! The twins or someone get into his head, telling him that s/o only wnats him for his money

I CAN THINK OF SO MUCH SJDJDJEJRJRJR

or maybe even get a lil

freaky

iykwim 👀

ramble to us pookie wookie 🤭🫶🏻 /pos /gen /friendly

i think ill go with being the 🪐 anon just future reference 🫶🏻

Okay powerful magic spaceball floating in the universe Anon...

HEAR ME OUT. I already had a similar scenario like that in mind one month ago and PLANNED to write a one-shot about something like that! >: D If it's okay, I´d like to do that one now. <3You get:

Mammon x Gen! Neutral Reader TAGS: Cheating, kinda break-up, ANGST

Mam and Reader have a fight, Mammon makes a horrible mistake and now has to pay the price.

Edit: I went overboard...accidentally wrote half of a one-shot. XD

So this is part one.. hahahahah

Mammon and you were a thing now. Well, for quite some time. You were overjoyed when the King of Greed seemed to get interested in you. It wasn't easy, not gonna lie, but you two managed. Mammon wasn't the easiest to be around, but somehow, you still loved him regardless. Despite what your friends told you, it felt genuine. Like he really meant it and didn't see you as some kind of arm candy or pet to keep just for fun. Your heart told you that, so you simply ignored everyone's remarks.

Mammon was extremely jealous and possessive. There was hardly any moment when you interacted with somebody else, where he didn't feel the need to step in and show the other that you were his. At home (well his home since the mighty king would never spend any second in your shitty apartment so he just took you with him) he often made nasty remarks of how dude A surely had the hots for you or that gal B was just after you to get closer to him. It was absolutely ridiculous! Every time you told him that this was not true, that you only have eyes for him, even if somebody else WOULD have a crush on you. In some way you even felt flattered that a Deadly Sin would be so protective over an unimportant hellborn like you.

But GOSH, one day he even went wild because you talked to the Glam sister. For real?! Yes, Glitz had been frisky, but hell! They are flirty and cocky with everyone! No matter how much you tried to ensure him that you DID NOT have a thing for them and that they were in no way any danger to you and him, Mammon´s jealousy and anger never seemed to fade.

"Yeah? If ya really aint fallin for their jiggly boobs, why did you smile at them and oh bring them some fucking coffee?! And by the way, I SAW HOW YOU LOOKED AT GLAM´S FAT ASS!!"

You stared at him for a second. "Excuse me??"

"YEAH DUH! I KNOW WHAT I SAW AND DONT LIE TO ME, CAUSE I KNOW YOU ENJOYED IT!"

Again, you stared at him in disbelief. "Wtf? First, I smile at them because I am just being nice to them! Second, where the hell am I supposed to look when they ask me which of their butts are bigger? And third-"

"THEY FUCKING ASKED WHAT?!" Mammon screamed in his demonic voice, steam pouring out of his mouth with every breath. He pinned you against the wall. Eight eyes of glowing green bore down onto you.

You should have been afraid, but couldn't help to feel another thing:

You felt offended.

Baring your in comparison way smaller teeth, you hissed at him. "For hell´s sake! Get your shit together Mammon! Fuking belive me when I tell you that nothing happened!" Your sudden outburst seemed to have startled him. Never had you snapped at him like that.

"Why would you even believe I would do such a thing?! Don't you trust me??"

The big Jester fumbled with his words, but managed to grumble under his breath: "How the fuck am I supposed to know.. I mean-"

"How are you supposed to know? Are you serious?? Gosh! Because I tell you every god damn day! Maybe that´s how!"

Now he just stood there, clenching his fists and facing the floor. His expression sour. "I jus´ don't like sharing you with others... okay?"

Your posture softens and you put your hand on one of his lower arms.

"It´s okay. I know you have difficulties with that, Babe. I am sure we can work this out. Okay?" <3

He was quiet for a few seconds but then answered: "Yeah...but could you please talk less to them? You know... it is making me angry."

You inhaled and held your breath, trying to hold back your frustration. It was obvious it wouldn't be easy with him, but you honestly would expect a bit more from an immortal entity than acting like a damn man-child. A Mam-child. Oh dear...

"No, sorry can not do. I work with them. I have to at least talk to them. Besides, you have to learn to trust me. You can't force me to keep away from people only because you want me to. This is not how it works!"

Mammon huffed, gripped your shoulders and drew your face close to his. "Listen, you little brat, I am really trying here! So cut me some slack and get your cute little ass off and away from them." His voice was low and threatening. This was in no way a suggestion. This was a demand.

"No." you said firmly and looked him deep in the eyes.

"No?" he repeated. Sparks danced around his features. Mammon tried to intimidate you just like he did with all of his employees and servants. But you were no servant. While the tone and his looming presence made your heart race and your knees weak, you still refused to give it. While it was true that you were just a measly hellborn in comparison to a mighty entity like him, but last time you checked you were his lover. His little gold nugget.

"I said no! You cannot tell me what to do and who to stay away from...just like I could never tell you to stay off the Glam sisters. I saw how they try to get in the sheets with you! But do I make a fuss about it? No!"

Mammon started to laugh. "Ya think I can´t tell you what to do? Pleeeaaase. I am your boss AND your king! If I tell you to get me some coffee, you bring me some coffee, If I tell you to hold my golden staff while I take a shit, you better do so and if I tell you to not get anywhere near those slutty cunts, you better do!"

He painfully clenched your cheeks between his thumb and index finger. You stared at him wide-eyed, trying to pry his hand off you.

"Did I make myself clear or do I have to repeat?"

It was the first time you had ever felt afraid of him. With his smirk twisted into a sadistic grin and his green glowing eyes staring down at you, there was no trace of your sweet boyfriend. The intensity of his glare was too much for you to handle

With panic growing inside your chest, you yelled at him. "Let me go! NOW!"

"As you wish." Mammon released you at once, making you fall down to the floor.

You rubbed your behind and looked up at him. Tears started to well in your eyes. His words and the way he treated you, shocked you.

Mammon huffed offended and frowned. "Tsk! Come on! Now that didn't hurt."

"You... You can't treat me like this! You are my boyfriend, remember? You can´t treat me like some sort of...like.." you stuttered, holding back your tears. What hurt the most the disinterested look he gave you. How he dismissed your feelings. Somehow it scared you even more that he didn't even give a shit of the effect he had on you right now.

"Now listen here, cunt! I can do whatever I want and with whoever I want! What do you think? That you have some kind of power over me? is that what you´re thinking? Is that what gets you off?? Hah! is that why you spend your fucking breaks with these other vermin instead of coming to my office? Oh yeah! You must feel so fucking powerful making ol´ Mammon pissed-"

"THAT IS NOT TRUE! THAT IS NOT TRUE!" You shouted, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You were disturbed of the absolute paranoia, the things he told himself, the way he thought about you. It was like someone put a knife in your heart and stirred it.

"LIKE I GIVE A BLOODY SHIT OF WHAT YOU THINK!! YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING NOW, DONTCHA?! THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME? THAT YOU CAN DO WITH ME WHATEVER YA WANT JUST BECAUSE WE SHARE A BED AND YOU SUCK MY DICK?? BUT GUESS WHAT! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT AND YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT!!"

Your heart almost stopped hearing insult after insult. He was out of his mind. You couldn't even comprehend what he was saying. What is happening here?! How did things escalate so quickly??

"Okay... I am going home.. and you.. you.. calm down." You tried so hard to sound steady but failed miserably. Your sobbing kept on interrupting. "W-We talk.. tomorrow."

With that, you turned around and left. You didn't even try to hide your pathetic crying.

[good7luck]

My quick ramblings about VNC manga chapter 62 part 1

(more under the cut)

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Time flied again, and now ch 62 part 2 is coming or already out XD so I'm roughly writing some bits at least asdfg

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I wrote some depressing prediction for this chapter, and I'm glad things didn't go that (physically violent) way, especially for Noe :) Vani stood up (as he should, cuz he is part of the cause) and "solved" the problem...by being verbally violent asdfg Anyway, I still feel something similar to that might happen at some point, though ^^;

I'm anxious about Johann for several reasons, but for now...I feel so sorry for him that he had to perform that much to "smoothly" solve(TM) the uncomfortable situation and protect his family ;_; I just...don't know what (proper words) to say, and I hate it :(

I'm happy to be quite right about Riche X) It's a huuuge shame that the anime completely cut out her cute interaction with Noe in the Catacombs :/ It wouldn't have taken too many minutes ://

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a little or a lot negative from here, with some potentially triggering words

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Apparently...some people think it's a bad / problematic writing decision that "white" Vani enlightens "black" Noe about "racism" towards Dham...as if the narrative / context was meant to mock Noe or such?? Also, as if similar situations (not just about racism) never happen in real life?? Honestly, they seem to be the ones who are somehow obsessed with the skin color tone of fictional characters the most lol

Like...did Vani have to leave Noe ignorant as he was, then? Was there any other "better" person (ex. "black" Dham) to explain "better" at the moment?? It doesn't even look like what Vani said was particularly wrong, either - especially compared to the situation when Luca "explained" to Vani/Noe what the Book of Vanitas does(TM), and then Vani got annoyed and tried to fix his (Luca's) wrong idea/info (not to mention Blue Moon clan is a discriminated minority as well).

For some imaginary example in regards to real life - it's said 99% of people are allosexual and only 1% are asexual in the world. It may happen that some asexual person never realized oneself being asexual and suffered from it for so long alone, and some allosexual person who happened to know a lot could notice what's going on and introduce "asexual" to the asexual person in a sincerely kind / helpful manner, "saving / freeing" the one, even.

Isn't it a good thing to learn about something "new" that is necessary "in any way (not offensive!!)", rather than staying behind and unintentionally repeating the same negative situation, if not causing worse things? Not everyone is lucky to get to know something or everything "naturally" or "normally" by a specific "proper" age.

Besides, Noe is understandably ignorant (like us readers / audiences) in canon from the beginning, with all his unfortunate, traumatic, and isolated childhood backstories and extremely limited interactions with other people... Noe's such huge, naive ignorance indirectly tells something about the "Teacher" Shapeless One as well! which is quite subtle from MJ-sensei XD

IDK now I'm curious if they called it a bad writing, too (and called MJ-sensei racist), when "black" Noe turned out to have been treated as a chained slave / property in the black market and "taken" by "white" Shapeless One...as if it's all meant to look "pure positive"? What about the scene where "white" Domi put a chain on "black" Noe's neck? Was it only great because it's "female dominant"?? lol :/ I also remember that not so long ago - "white" Misha enslaved "black" Noe and violated him in multiple, stressful ways (including the rapey blood-drinking)...and yet, the fandom mostly felt so sorry for the "white assaulter" Misha much more and got sooo disappointed / mad at the "black victim" Noe for "daring to" fiercely fight back and hurt his face, NOT "gently" pushing him away or (just forgetting about kidnapped Domi his important childhood friend and) "angelically" understanding him (the abuser) and "eagerly" protecting him as a "mere obedient black slave" of his "poor young white master" aka Stockholm syndrome lol =_=

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This was not going to be this long and this petty, but it happened midway, sorry asdfg

Thank you for reading my subjective opinions so far!

[novelmonger]

Tagged by @authortobenamedlater: 20 questions for fanfic writers!

How many works do you have on AO3?

95. (It should be noted that I started out on FFNet, and still cross-post there, where I have 166 fics.)

What's your total AO3 word count?

682,370

What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily FMA and Captain America these days. I've also written a sizeable amount for Zelda and Sherlock, besides a smattering of other fandoms (usually just one or two fics apiece).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, these are all Captain America fics :P Nice to know where my primary readership comes from!

Make Me Whole - 269 kudos

Shards of Me - 107 kudos

Your Arms Feel Like Home - 78 kudos

Let This One Remain - 58 kudos

Remind Me Who I Am - 55 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I make it a point to respond to every comment unless it consists of just one word or a string of emojis or something. Or if someone makes a whole bunch of short comments all in a row, I might only respond to the most recent one. I know how rare it is for someone to actually comment, and how hard it is to think of anything substantial to say even if you truly loved a fic, so I want to show some gratitude for those who take the time to do so. Also, it's the best way to make friends!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with "In the Morning," an FMA fic in which Ed dies at the end, cradled in Al's arms ^^' (Currently only posted on FFNet.)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...maybe "Expecting the Unexpected"? It's a Captain America fic that ends with Steve, Sharon, and Bucky all sitting on the kitchen floor, laughing and crying together, so that's pretty happy.

Do you get hate on fics?

Hardly ever, except for the very rare troll. Most of the responses I've gotten have been very nice indeed.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol, no. I don't read it, so I certainly have no idea how to write it.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not very often, but occasionally yes! I actually have a very ambitious seven-fic one that I'd like to do someday when I have time (ha!), but that's a long way off. I don't know about craziest, but the main one I've written was an FMA/Captain America one called "All We've Got to the End of the Line," in which Steve and Bucky are alchemists trying to get their bodies back, and Ed is a superhero fighting Al and trying to get him to remember that they're brothers. Basically, just putting the characters in each other's stories/roles, because they're my top two bromances and they actually have quite a few similarities.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! There was this one random EdWin fic I wrote eons ago that someone translated into Spanish!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think @sergeanttomycaptain has been involved enough with my Whole Shards fics that she counts as a co-writer at this point XD Particularly Make Me Whole and my current WIP, Take Me In.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Royai is my OTP <3

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I completed the first draft of a Death Note chapterfic that I know I'm never going to finish and post because of some drama between me and the friend I was working on it with. Kinda sucks, because that was a good story.

What are your writing strengths?

Whenever I'm asked this question, my gut reaction is always, "Lol, I have no writing strengths because if I ever write anything good, it's only by accident," but that's lame. I think maybe I'm good at endings? Scene endings, fic endings, endings that are punchy in one way or another. I know I can also make people cry, since it's happened plenty of times ^^'

What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything. Action. Differentiating dialogue styles between characters. Humor. Switching things up by not writing in complete, grammatically correct sentences all the time.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm very timid about doing that, because I'm paranoid about getting something egregiously wrong if I just use Google Translate or whatever. But I tried to put a little bit more of that into my WIP, and indulged myself by writing some dialogue in other languages that I can speak.

First fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy X was the reason I started writing fanfiction before I even knew what that was. I wanted to capture the incredible story of the game I was playing and share it with friends who didn't have the opportunity to play it, so I started writing a novelization of the game. It's pretty bad by my current standards, but it taught me a lot about how stories are put together and how to stick to a novel-length project like that and actually get it done. I also learned a lot of my fanfic preferences through writing that - for example, I posted it as I wrote it, and realized that I hate doing that because I find it really stressful, and then it's annoying to realize you want to edit earlier parts and have to go back and revise them. That's why I always finish writing my fics before I post them now.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

Make Me Whole is my baby. It still is, five years after I finished posting it. It's the beginning of my favorite AU. I have so many wonderful memories associated with coming up with the idea, writing it, sharing it with others.... I've made wonderful friends through that fic. It was the first story idea I've ever had where I got a very clear sense that God wanted me to write it, and I didn't just want to write it because nobody else would, but because I wanted to write it. Even if a dozen other people came up with the exact same idea, I wanted to write it because no one else would write it quite like I would. I can't even describe how important that has been for me. I've also seen God use it in other people's lives, which is indescribably awesome.

Tagging @rainintheevening, @kraytwriter, @katarena, and any other fic writers who want to do this.

[ailec-12]

Okay… for: 30 questions for writers!!

6, 12

and which ever you just desire to share xD

Ohh and really procrastinating when it means we have to wait even longer? (Thought guess I should be grateful, should be studying not reading for fun xD)

Thanks for always indulging me. x3

If it's any consolation, I wouldn't be writing House Potter right now even if you hadn't sent this. Most of what's written of the next chapter is from some weeks ago when I turned to writing for a few days —wrote two pieces of microfiction and over 2000 words for HP. *sigh of longing*

6. How often do you get writer's block? How do you overcome it?

Not as often as my writing hiatuses would imply... Last time I got writer's block was over a year ago, I think. I remember not being able to write a single word from December 2021 to April 2022.

The first thing I do when I realise I'm starting to get hit by writer's block is... nothing. Normally it's just the way your body/mind demands a break, so I try not to stress over it. I focus on other stuff: reading, watching a show, working out. If it persists and I want to write badly, though, I start small. Reading/watching stories that give me similar feelings, listening to music that inspires me for whatever I want to write, maybe even looking up pics to create a moodboard.

Then, I have more specific solutions depending on the reason for the block. Sometimes, it's fear of the blank page, so I'll force myself to start outlining what I want to happen in order to find what should actually happen. Other times, the problem is that I don't know how to make something specific happen or how a character would behave. I recommend brainstorming with a friend for this, it always helps me see my story more clearly. My last writer block was a mix of these two issues plus the insecurity of not being good enough to write something the way I imagined it. In this case, I go to my AO3 inbox and reread all the nice comments people have left over the years. Sometimes all a writer needs is a bit of an ego boost.

12. Do you prefer to read your own writing style over others’? Why or why not?

It really depends on the other person's writing. I enjoy my style —sometimes more, sometimes less, but it's fine overall—, so upon finding a case of 'nice idea, terrible execution,' I've indeed wished I could be reading it in my own words. There are so many awesome writers out there that it's not a common occurrence, though.

30 Questions for Writers

[phagechildon]

A random Sasamiya Au I thought of! What if they had powers? Not really super hero au but just where most people have powers? Sorta like X-men in a way?

Miya has the power to bring inanimate objects to life and Sasaki has super strength. Sasaki thinks his power is lame (and scary, hurting his sis), but Miya's excitement gives him a new outlook

"Lame?! There's so much good you can do with super strength!" 

Or like maybe "It might sound cliché but super strength is one of the best ones to have!" Miya excitingly beamed, that gleeful glitter in his beautiful eyes making Sasaki blush. No one's ever been this excited about his powers before, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

"You can do anything with it, like save people!" Miyano leaned in closer, his mind racing with the different possibilities. Sasaki felt his breath catch in his throat, the temptation to get closer a little overwhelming.

Covering his mouth with his hand, he let out a meek "uh hu" as he avoided eye contact. It was odd, after all these years of being angry and ashamed of his powers, for once he felt like super strength wasn't all that bad. Not when Miyano kept explaining in such fondness all his favorite manga and comic heroes who did so much with their strength.

"-so cool! I wish I had your power!" He laughed, his smile so bright it chased all the darkness away. It took everything he hand not to reach out and cuff the other's soft cheek or touch him in some way. Why did he feel this way?

"I donno Miya-chan, your power's pretty cool. Bringing anything to life? Mine are lame in comparison."

The way the other's face reddened as he looked away made his own face burn deeper, unconsciously inching closer, their fingers almost touching. "I-I wouldn't say that," Miya mumbled, finally glancing back at Sasaki.

"They're unique, but they're not useful. I can't save someone like you can, I can barely lift the boxes of books in the library. If I can't use my powers to help people, then they're... kind of useless, you know?"

Miyano jumped feeling the larger hand take his own, their eyes finally meeting again. Instead of fondness there was slight anger in those alluring gray eyes. "They're not Miya, they reflect who you are." Carefully, cautiously, Sasaki started to raise their hands up, studying them as if they were at a museum. "You can cheer someone up when they're sad, give someone something they need without having to leave, and scare people off who are out to harm others-" there was so much good Miya could do with his powers, they were special and unique, just like himself. How could he possibly show Miya just how incredible he is.

I can imagine Sasaki being terrified of himself and his powers, especially after hurting his sister, like, he could've easily killed her by accident and he's so scared to touch anyone, especially Miyano, but Miya's the first person he's compelled to touch, and it hurts not touching him. So Miya teaches him that he's not a threat, that he'd never hurt him, that he trusts him, and "for someone with super strength, you're very gentle." 

Miya's powers can bring any object to life, and he can hear their chaotic thoughts and sometimes they listen to what he wants and sometimes they don't. It doesn't last too long either, and when they become inanimate, he can feel if they've been "hurt" or "crushed" and not. Imagine him bringing his plushies to life, his manga and anime ones it'd be so cute, or like Sasaki's sulking on the couch or bed and Miya makes one of the stuffed animals go over and give him a hug or a "kiss." OR Miya sees him sulking and being depressed from outside the classroom or outside his window, and he makes the stuffed animal do that and instantly Sasaki gets up all excited because that means Miya's close by~ 

And if you want angst/drama, Miya's powers interest someone, or a gang or something, and they want Miya to help them with something like a robbery or such, cause his powers can go way behind what he uses them for, which are "party tricks" which Sasaki and the others  try to keep them away from Miya.

And, naturally, Sasaki’s strength helping and protecting Miya hehe

Just a few thoughts I had today~

Maybe it’s a world where it's common to have powers, which leads to super heroes (not them) and risky situations where there's a lot of dangerous people mixed with good ones. Hirano and everyone else would have powers too, maybe some don't - just some thoughts!! =D

[kyotakumrau]

2020.12.18 The World You Live In at Zepp Namba, 1st event report

I arrived with friends past 1:15 (door time), but lettings fans in here was very smooth. And there were leaflets for sukekiyo's January shows/MADARA and Dirt waiting for us on our seats.

After the interview, live footage and music videos, staff brought two long tables on the stage with 4 chairs. Fujieda again started with greetings and introduced himself and Takabayashi, and finally asked the audience for the applause for the band members as they come on stage.

Kaoru and Kyo came then.

Kaoru wore all black, jacket, glasses.

Kyo had green hair (same as for the a knot calendar photo session), shocking pink jacket, washed denim, pink socks and white trainers. He wore sunglasses.

They both introduced themselves with simple '薫です' and '京です' but I love how different it sounded for both of them.

Fujieda again talked first about the live footage from March. Kaoru commented that with the document it was really busy. For Kyo it felt that the staff, especially the staff under the stage was restless, moving a lot, but he himself just came and sang.

Next, Fujieda outlined the events in 2020 like he did in Nagoya, he asked if they watched the audiostreams.

Kyo: Yes, I watched all of them.

F: and then yours came last.

Kyo: I could really feel member's personality showing there.

Ka: how was the order out setlists came out decided? Was it after we submitted our setlists?

Takabayashi said that no.

Next Fujieda continued with the 2020 timeline and asked about what they can remember from the Pia VIP meetings.

Ka: I thought that Mr.Higuchi was really nervous interviewing all five of us at the same time.

Kyo: first day the atmosphere was so gloom it felt like a funeral.

After that they moved to the topic of Ochita single, F sked them about filming.

Ka: it finished so quickly, in an instant!

F: did you also feel it went by very quickly, Kyo?

Kyo: not that, there was something else. When filming we were working with a new director. For the first time, I got praised when shooting. Like only 5 minutes passed but he was all 'that's great! yes! very cool!'. Huh? What was that supposed to be? Being told that so much wasn't it too much? And then he had some issue with equipment and asked to go again. When the director saw my costume first he also went 'huh wow!' And the place was so narrow.

After that they moved to the merch items for this events. F passed them their own items and Kyo just kept holding the choker, almost like being frozen.

Meanwhile Kaoru said that there's no special meaning behind deciding to produce the pouch. Then, Kyo, asked about the choker, reacted.

Kyo: isn't this super cool?

(and then again)

Kyo: it's seriously cool. It's super cool. ...it's super cool. ...it's super cool.

(all the time just holding and looking at it)

F: about the embossing?

Kyo: not that, it's just super cool.

Agreed😆🖤

Then F announced they will move to the part with questions from fans. He divided the question sheets and passed them to everyone. But Kyo just kept moving to the next page, next page, next page...

F (trying to avoid silence😂): there were many questions on similar topics, I grouped some of them, many people asked about a movie you saw recently, movie you enjoyed.

Ka: I saw 'Hansekai', a Japanese movie.

Kyo: (after a moment) I watched 'Videodrome'.

He told us a bit about the plot, that you start questioning there what is real when watching. He said it's an older movie, and I didn't catch it but there was some connection with Robocop? He said he's also watching 'Friends' and Netflix's 'Dracula'.

After that Kaoru read a question from a fan: 'F seems to be really loved by all members and staff, but can you tell us how do you actually feel about him?'

Ta kept it cool just saying F is his kohai (younger friend/colleague). Kaoru, too, said that F is cool. But then it was time for Kyo ('s rant)🤣

Kyo: I would like to say you're cool, but there are those things I told you you should try to work on. You say you can eat anything, that's okay, but the way you eat is just, too eager (talking about his eating manners), you're even biting your lips, you also ask me about things when you don't really care, and then you reply with 'yeah yeah'. Don't do it. Saying 'yeah' once is fine, but saying 'yeah yeah' is too much.

(possibly didn't get it all xD)

F: I'll be careful. ...any questions you'd like to read?

Kyo (just kept moving on to the next paper, next question, next, next): nothing good.

Kaoru to the rescue picked a question, but had comments.

Ka: 'I'm moving the day after tomorrow and I'm curious bout the life with many people together (in a big group). How is it when you have to stay together?' Is there a connection between this and moving?

He talked about touring abroad and spending time together in a bus, but they just go to sleep soon. But there are more chances to talk before the shows.

Ta: 'can you recommend us any good restaurants in Osaka?'

nothing from the band members besides heavy thinking😂

Ta: 'which do you like better, takoyaki or okonomiyaki?'

Ka: I like both, but I don't eat them much. Monja(yaki) is better though.

Kyo: Monja is good, but choboyaki, from Kyoto, is the best.

Ta: I like both.

F: I eat everything. But abroad it's more difficult.

Kyo: ...the kebab chicken story.

He told us about the time when they were touring, he always stays on the bus so he would ask a roadie to go get him something to eat. He was thinking about eating McDonalds, but then F suddenly said 'let's do kebab!'. After F said that it's not like he could say he wanted McDonalds.

F laughed but got scolded by Kyo.

Kyo: I told you not to laugh like that! Like just a moment ago!

😂

Kaoru brought up that they played at Osaka Jo Hall on this day in the past. They talked about some trouble they had and the venue staff being angry at them.

Kyo: I don't remember anything from that day. I deleted it from my memory.

F: but you chose I'll and Zan for your audiostream.

Kyo: I wanted to do it for my setlist. But then I saw on twitter few fans wrote they want me to do it, I got upset and almost changed it. Almost. In the end nowadays it's something we wouldn't do.

Ta: 'anything you're into now fashionwise?'

Kao (after thinking): nothing really. ...but I'm not wearing socks today.

F stood up to check.

Kyo: You're THAT interested???

F: just wanted to see what it looks like.

Kyo: that's really weird.

F: 'what's the 'fashion point' for you today (the main idea of your look)?

Kyo: well, what do you think?

F: pink?

Kyo: the whole outfit, you're dead!😂

F: ...but even your socks are pink?

Kyo: you really think pink is the main idea?  Look at my hair, green, I couldn't wear this outfit if I had black hair. It's about total balance! You're really a weird one.

all the love😂

F: 'winter is a nabe season, so what is your favorite nabe?'

Ka ...talked a lot about different types of nabe to make at home.

Kyo: nothing in particular.

F: what nabe do you want to eat now?

Kyo: what do you think?

F: k...kimchi nabe?

Kyo: I was going to say you're dead if you say something else than kimchi nabe.

F (laughing): I got it right?? But I wanted to hear I'm dead😂

Ta: I like chanko nabe.

Ta: 'what's your favorite tea?'

Ka: don't know, I drink a lot of jasmin tea, but I just buy it in a bottle.

Kyo: any tea is okay.

F: I drink Tokucha (for dieting benefits)

(there's one question here when I zoned out) *found my missing bit: there was a question about the name for their fans, toriko. It came from a poster of Die from MACABRE era, fully dressed up, it said 'I'll make you into my slave'.

F: 'what's your favorite alcohol?'

Ka: wine, Napa Valley, I think I talked about it with Mr.Higuchi (at the Pia VIP meeting).

Kyo: I don't really drink now.

He said he used to buy some stuff to make drinks, cocktails, but doesn't drink now.

F: 'what's the most fun moment or something interesting you've done recently?'

Ka: so we've never played here before, at Zepp Namba. When we arrived we talked together in the dressing room. It was nice to have a chance to chat.

Kyo: same really.

Next, F talked about the additional streamed event and the filming.

Ka told us he felt funny when filming (with motion capture) because one of the sensors to record his movement was exactly where he usually plays the guitar so he had to hold the guitar a bit higher than normal (he showed us how it looked and it was quite funny).

Kyo said that when he was filming, and he went second, Die was first, they had to wear costumes like a Mojimoji-kun (like a black skin tight onesie), he felt Die looked much better, and it really made him feel bad, that his style was too 'minimal'. He felt shocked and didn't really like the filming.

F asked everyone to join them on New Year's Eve and next asked band members for the last comments.

Kaoru: We're not able to do concerts and it's very difficult now to gather together like this, so I'm really grateful you all came. We're thinking a lot about what we can do next year.

Kyo: It must have been difficult to come here today, I'm sorry. And 'おおきに・ookini・thank you/sorry for the trouble.

F: oh sudden Kansai dialect.

Kyo: I'm from Kansai.

F: It's fine if Kansai person uses Kansai dialect.

Kyo (turned to fans again): ookini.

Kyo waved to the audience, then they stood up and stood looking at fans a bit, bowed and finally left.

(unfortunatelly I only went to the 1st slot, but might dedicate my time on the train to Sendai tomorrow to collect some bits from twitter!)

[stealingpotatoes]

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

///

ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon

[juuls]

This was a comment left on chapter 11 of my fem!Tony Stuckony time travel/soulmate fic, Hanging From a Cross of Iron, and I just wanted to put a couple things out there.

First of all, I’m not mad. We’ll make that clear. I’ve received variations of this comment before and it’s rather on the mark. But sometimes both sides can be correct in how they interpret a piece of fiction, and I wanted to show that.

So… yeah. This is something I get every so often on this fic, especially around this chapter (10-12ish) and I just… really wanted to post my reply to it, if for nothing other than explaining the way my brain works and WHY I hate Captain America: Civil War so much for ruining so many good things in fandom.

I’m not putting this out there for sympathy or agreement or to start a fight or stupid shit. It’s more like a… “I’m tired of explaining myself, let me post something I feel is a semi-eloquent response to someone who was at least mostly respectful and got some things right, who I know does represent a fair portion of people who may be interested in reading this fic,” which I could then just point/link to the next time I wake up to things making me sad in my inbox on top of me being sad and feeling guilty at not having written for a while.

Stupid covid. Stupid life being dumb and depressing and draining energy and happiness from many. Just you wait. I’ll be back soon with Codega and this fic, Cross.

But here. This is my reply to the above comment:

So I don’t normally reply to critique such as this because this IS fanfiction, but you are at least part right: it IS supposed to be unfair.

This is me working out my issues with Civil War, because boy that sure as fuck pissed me off. I love Stuckony, but after CACW it was really hard to reconcile that love anymore. So this was my way to do that, and I 100% wanted to bring in the unfairness, the distrust, the favouritism, the… meanness that I saw and felt after that.

It’s also a way for me to work through my issues at the injustices I suffered at the hands of my ex-husband—I started writing this shortly after packing my bags and leaving.

I wanted a slow, somewhat realistic, non-fairytale path to even partial redemption, shared pain and circumstances and experiences, and to show that things CAN work out as long as certain lines are not crossed. I skirt the line sometimes, definitely on purpose, but that’s for ME.

I wanted to turn the tables: Steve (and Bucky) were out of their time and comfort zone in the future—Toni, in turn, needed to be out of her time and comfort zone in the past.

Plus, can you imagine a soulmate world where you’ve had a partner and you think “this is it”? Then bam! Suddenly someone’s suddenly thrust into your life.

And I wanted to play on every single issue Toni would have experienced with her family, friends, “friends��, enemies, Obie, her company, the world, etc., post-IM2.

None of them have had an easy go of it and war is goddamn hell. They ALL have PTSD. (But also, lol, the Howlies start laying into Stucky about what you’re getting mad about here too, so I’m way ahead of you!)

From the beginning, this was as much a psychological setting as a romantic one: way more so in the beginning. But it slowly crawls its way out of the murk. I wanted a soulmate story where it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I wanted a story where they had to fight for it… or where they had a choice, shitty as it may be (they’ll NEVER choose not to have Toni, that was never going to happen). I wanted something… realistic, even amidst super soldiers, super tech, an almost unbelievable war, and soulmates existing.

I wanted it to be a fight. I wanted rejection… then them, ALL of them, to choose each other despite that, despite their past, and despite fate.

That is my goal with this fic. And since I take my own sweet time, that’s really not readily apparent so soon in this fic, even at chapter 11.

The love will be there. The unconditional love, the equal triadic love. Not just Stucky plus Toni. Because believe me, Stucky is probably one of my least favourite ships that include some of my favourite characters. Sounds ridiculous since I write them here, but as a historian I wanted to take that, take some realism, with a dash of ridiculous and hurt and pain and anger, and see what I could do with that.

The entire reason this story exists is because of a scene idea I had that doesn’t come about until the future in the 20s chapters. Leaning on each other and trusting each other because one of them was lost. Well, technically, that happens twice.

But the point is: this is a long as fuck story towards a love they have to (and WANT to, eventually) fight tor.

This fic is for me. It’s for people like me. It’s for people who don’t want an easy love story. It’s absolutely okay that you don’t like it! There are SO many fics that I dislike for a variety of reasons, and I simply close it, mark it as Did Not Finish, and don’t return. I recognize not every fic is for me.

This one’s for me. I may have sort of stalled out where I’m at in the 20s chapters, but it’s left at a pretty good place, and I’m looking forward to this dumb pandemic so I can get back to forging this love between these three idiots, as well as pick up an old Star Wars story I left 4+ years ago due to the abuse at the hands of my ex. But I’m ready to return to it now. Well, after the world calms down a little.

It’s okay if you’re done with this story—that is 100% your choice and I will never begrudge you that. I’m glad you gave it a try though! If you’re interested, you could skip ahead and see how the dynamics have changed, or I could give you clips and examples too.

My one wish (though I understand it completely) is that you had not done this on Anon. For a few reasons:

1, I would never hold this opinion against you, especially because you got tons of it right! Go you!

2, I’d love to understand you better and discuss this with you. No recriminations whatsoever.

3, But I do wonder who of those who have read my other writings left me this message. It makes me a little sad, and I will wonder which of the people I talk to have this negative opinion of me now, but that’s also my own past issues rearing their ugly heads. You have every right to remain on Anon, though it’s not so nice when you wake from a nice dream and discover anon ‘dislike’ in your inbox on a work you slaved away on, and that the dislike is specifically about the things you wrote about deliberately, hah. Sorta funny, actually, so I’ll let that one go. xD

Thank you, though, even if I disliked reading this words: it helps me to look at my own work critically and to better understand how to frame and write things going forward.

Not every fic is for everyone, and that’s okay. I’ve encountered mine, you’ve encountered yours, but I think we’ve both learned from this interaction.

Whoever you may be, even if you divulge your handle to me, my respect for you wouldn’t diminish. It’s good to have healthy discussions and to look critically upon your own work—even if I am a sensitive bean and it hurts a little, I’m fine. :P

I think the lesson to be learned here is: fuck everything after CACW!!!! Grrrrr xD

Take care,

Juuls

P.S. I may post parts of this on my Tumblr because I do occasionally encounter similar complaints about this story, and I think maybe this is the most coherent and respectful enough comment-reply response I’ve had on this topic. Thank you.

P.P.S. Happy to talk privately too!

P.P.P.S. And the offer still stands for some lovely clips from future chapters, especially if you’re not considering continuing reading this story anymore; it’ll at least show what I’m talking about and what I’ve been working tirelessly towards. It’s hard—fucking hard—work to get past CACW and still like these characters together (my fic Paper Boats is probably one of my bigger testaments to that, oof) and I admit it’s still really really hard and I struggle with it. Covid isn’t the only reason I’ve sort of stalled out on that. But that’s more because I’m like “now what?” than not seeing any love between these three.

It’s a long journey. I knew it was going to be. But I like a challenge. :)

Take care, be well, stay safe, to you and all of yours.

And may you find many fics you love!

[monday-headache]

Hey Simon! Thank you for the amazing ask <3 Right back at you:

I love that you're writing/arting about characters that have never met in canon (Gaige and Sasha, Fiona and Scarlett). What drew you to writing these characters together? And are there any more that you'd love to explore one day? :D

Hey Sarah, glad it made you smile. I want to have more interaction with the fandom so I’ll try to make this a regular, so please be free to send me questions whenever. I’d love to read your thoughts ;)

And Omg, that’s a fantastic question as well but, be aware, this is gonna be an essay as well.

Mhh where to start, where to start.

So first things first, My headcanon of why I think Gaige and Sasha would be best friends started a pretty long while ago, way before I even got gently pushed towards the Idea of really starting to write about it in the first place. Because you must know, even though Strays is my first longshot, it is also my very first fanfc I’ve ever written in like ever. So no matter how shitty, great or whatever it will turn out to be or how well others will be, Strays has and will always have a special place in my heart. And I’m not gonna rush things either, even when the fandom will die out, my Ideas for it will flow ;)

But yeah how it started. To put it simply Gaige was my first character In Borderlands ever that I played myself. I knew about the Lore of 1 and I’ve played 1 with a friend by the time it came out, but I played 1 myself AFTER I finished 2 So that may be a big reason, why I have such an open spot for Gaige. But also because she is fun, quirky extreme, punky, loves robots and tech... to put it simple a lot of traits I really love about a character. Her backstory with the science fair was so fresh and funny, and it may be one of my favorite spoken dialogue interactions heard over echo cassette’s

Then after Bl2 my love for Borderlands continued, played 1, played TPS and then... There was Tales, and by god do I loved Tales, and I hella still do. You probably know the feeling yourself. And with the love for the game, came a huge love for it’s cast. Like seriously I think besides Tector there isn’t really a character where I was going like, “ugh this one is trash” on the contrary. And besides my obvious love for the main 2 characters, there was a big love for the Deutagonist’s of this masterpiece. Namely Sasha and Loaderbot.

Loaderbot may have officially taken the spot for me as most favorite Robot in video game history ever (and Gortys for the most precious character ever). Like his whole segment of kidnapping them, forcing them to tell the truth, only to show how much he had grieved, how betrayed he felt and that he did all of tha  for his loved ones. Man say what you will about him, but damn he was written perfectly. I was blown away.

Secondly is of course, as you might have guessed it Sasha. I could go lengths for her too, how much I love and admire her character, how real she felt as a sister, a pandoran and last but not least as a human. Sasha felt to me like the most well rounded out character of the 6 (pls don’t hate me for it guys) From the punk rebellious attitude, to learning that she had an anti Hyperion pirate radio, that she used to broadcast bad things that happens in her neighbourhood, to her adapting her morals and learn that even in the most corrupt organisations there are still normal people struggling with their own life, and then progressing from it. And lastly after everything was at loss, the money the plan, she was willing to sacrifice her whole life for a dear friend/s, even on her dying breath putting both Rhys and her Sister at ease and in her last moments. Amazing.

Oooh boy and that was just the prelude to it all XD

After that I noticed a lot of similarities, between characters. Sasha and Loaderbot for instance are both pragmatic, put the lives of their loved ones over their own, love tech, are socially open people while holding back on information and emotion. Not to mention the scenes in 2 and 3 and also 4 and 5 where it is slightly hinted how well Sasha and Loaderbot work together, without sharing much words. So naturally the Idea was born that Sash and LB became quite close.

And the same goes for Sasha and Gaige. I was actually surprised that nobody (not entirely true, I saw one fanart of it) seemed to made that connection before as it was so obvious to me. So basically Sasha is a softer version of Gaige, in many terms. They both have a big heart for tech and especially guns. They both hosted a small radio broadcast that blew up in their region over night. Both are anarchist’s who spread the word for awareness, how fucked up the company war actually is. Both are not really good at their aim. Both call robots as their closes’t friends. Both share a deep hatred for Handsome Jack and his doings. Both fought a giant ass Vault Monster and nearly died in the process of doing so. Both got screwed up big time and now have a huge bounty on their head... So you see the list goes on, and honestly the more I write them, the more similarities I notice, both hc wise and canon wise. So there more I thought about it, and noticed similarites the more I fell in love with the Idea of them becoming close. And from there the Idea was born, that they probably met on a job ( the most likely scenario in the Borderlands universe). It had to be before BL3 of course, and to be after Tales naturally so that only put one timeline in the focus, Commander Lillith.

To be honest, I didn’t expect everything turning out so big. Like seriously I orifinally planed like 8k words or so. Now I’m dangling on the Idea of having 13 chapters and a big ass finally, a neat wrap up of everything and even a possible epilogue XD Yeah, that wasn’t what I expected either but damn do I love doing it.

Like seriously my headcanons only just gotten bigger and bigger. From a whole nebula system in the galaxy, to regions I created in my own mind for it, to even complex backstorys. Like why Sasha wears a headband, why she loves guns so much, what happened to her and Fi’s parents, why she was raised by her aunt, what does Felix have to do with it, Why Gaige has this kicks of both sudden depression and manical behavior. Why she’s so close to her dad, but her mom wasn’t even mentioned once (but teased), why she wanted to become a wedding planer, and why she is so obsessed with robots and margarita mix. I think one day, this thing will turn into a tabletop game or something XD

So estimated 20k words on my answer later and now we are going for my own created ship Scarleona. Don’t worry, as much as I like to gosh about that too, it wont take as long I prommy.

Scarleona was created in a sudden urge while thinking about what happpend to Fiona while Strays happened. And similar to Gaige and Sasha, Scarleona was born from a dynamic. Especially of those from two Ladybosses with Silvertongue and speech 100XD Fiona and Scarlett may have become my favorite Fiona ship (no offense everybody) because of how well they play off each other. Fiona is a con artist, her whole life she was used to swindle, to play it cool and by ear, go with the flow, and expect the unexpected. So here core idea is that she is manupulating people by LYING to them.

Scarlett on the other hand is similar while also the complete opposite to it. She is backstabby, plays with her charm and most importantly she is dead honest while tricking people. In fact even so honest that people don’t even realised that they got tricked even though she told it several times before. And this dynamic is so fascinating to me. You see, Fiona has almost an answer an action for everything prepared, but the idea that her winning honesty, is mind puzzling to Fiona is so perfect. @michellespenscratchz wrote me a drabble several months ago and I think that line describes it just perfect

“So, let me see if I got this straight,” Fiona tilted her head inquisitively at Captain Scarlett. “You needed these Vault Hunters’ help to find this treasure for you. So you…just asked them?”

“That’s right.” Scarlett nodded, inspecting her hook nonchalantly.

“Even though they knew you wanted it for yourself?” Fiona asked.

“Indeed,” Scarlett replied.

“And they…” Fiona blinked, “…knew you planned on fighting them for it once they had it.”

“Of course they did,” Scarlett shrugged. “I told them as much.”

“You told them?”

“Yes.”

“And they helped you anyway?”

“Precisely.” Scarlett turned her hat against the blistering wind. “I fear I don’t quite grasp what about this is so difficult to grasp, Fiona dear.”

“Huh.” Fiona cast her gaze out across the expanse of Pandoran horizon. “I guess I just gotta–I dunno–rethink my whole life right now.”

So yeah, that was basically it. I kinda diagressed and didn’t want to hurt your eyes more looking at the long ass text, but please if you have some more questions to it, pls hit me. I love to gosh about it <3

And thank you so much <3 This was hella fun

[kaypeace21]

ignoring the fact that they sound like a married couple arguing, mike and will are also bickering over whether or not el and mike are still together. it was written in the script, rehearsed, performed, and kept in the final cut that will OUTRIGHT SAYS “she said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.” and max yells “it wasn’t!” :@;$:@/&$:&:??!?! they literally said they’re not endgame. they aren’t endgame.

i KNOW right! Based on the s4 movies I think things are reversed and it’s El who can’t accept they are broken up. A lot of films said to inspire s4 have ex gfs refuse to accept the break up -one even hits on her gay ex-bf ( ‘birdcage’ ). Similar scenario in ‘clueless’ with girl hinting on gay guy who just wants to be friends.  Max in s3 having to correct El that Mike is her “ ex boyfriend” and Will saying “that doesn’t sound like a break”. And Max agreeing “it wasn’t!” is foreshadowing they never actually got back together.  IT WASN’T A BREAK! But El may not accept this.

It’s similar, to the random telemarketing joke where they had Mike say on the phone “El, sorry not interested “ and hang up . It was foreshadowing.

In the films the exes constantly call . Mike telling El “i’ll call so often you’ll have to turn your walkie off” was also foreshadowing of what Mike will do to her in s4. Since ,he hung up on her in s3 when she called demanding to know where he was at 9:30 in the morning.  In  ‘swingers’ the guy name mike (whose friends call him ‘gay’)  hangs up on his ex gf who wants to get back together . He hangs up on her so he can talk to his new love interest (Will) . Specifically, Hangs up on his ex as she says  “I love-“. Then in ‘splash’ he breaks up with his gf on the phone and says “do I love you?well what about you?” To dodge the question (then yells at a family member ease dropping on the other line -Karen). And they break up on the phone. And he tells a friend later he never loved her. 

2 movies the ex says they’ll get back together and their new relationships are “just phases” etc ( waynes world,  high fidelity, dumb and dumber). Saying they’re still together when they aren’t  (wayne’s world). Loads of movies had the crazy ex sabotage new relationships, call constantly, stalk, and flirt despite the exes discomfort and repeatedly saying it’s over (despite the ex not loving them and just be possessive and not wanting them with other people).

The exes are cray in the films (el stalking and never apologizing for spying. And mileven dancing to the song ‘every breath you take’ a song about a stalker ex who doesn’t take no for an answer -after their ex hooks up with their friend, wasn’t a coincidence). Along with El watching ‘days of our lives’ where she mimicked erica who was in a relationship with Mike roy. And it ended messy with one of them sabotaging their new relationship, stalking them, and claiming the stalking victim still loved them. (Although, they eventually accepted that wasn’t true).  

El  stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike said he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 (like the song) she stalks him after their breakup, and when he said not to do that she just says ‘i make my own rules’. I think s4 shows just how ‘un-cute’ this behavior can get.

 I’ve already talked about that awkward kiss scene to death. But i think it indicates Mike assumes they’re broken up and el assumes they’re back together. 

FIrst he  LIED AGAIN (the cause of the breakup)- and pretended he didn’t confess to her at the end of s3. And never said “ I love you’ back! He even tries to take the words back and  says about the prior love confession “ “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing…”

They even frame the scene right before the kiss strangely, making El look larger and imposing, as she approaches. Mike feels cornered (you the viewer subconsciously are supposed to feel claustraphobic/trapped/cornered/stuck along with Mike).

We see him furrow his brows (uncomfortable and confused ) when El initiates the romantic moment, saying “I love you too.”

 And cue most awkward kiss in history- where he keeps his eyes open the whole time and doesn’t kiss back. (In Will’s room, mike in front of an open closet, as el holds Will’s s1 bear.)

 During the kiss, the song ‘the first i love you ‘played. The only other time they played that song in s3,  was when Robin rejects Steve’s  romantic confession and she comes out as gay . Interesting choice for that awkward mileven kiss/confession shown later where El says she loves Mike (and mike keeps his eyes open, doesn’t kiss back or return the ‘I love you’). It’s foreshadowing of Mike rejecting El (in the future) cause he’s gay.

We even see El’s reaction first (happy, smiling and giddy). Assuming they’re back together. But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

Then we see El initiating all the romantic stuff outside.El seems to be the one trying to make it romantic- like Mike hugging el and lucas with one arm identically (hand on their upper back), but El caresses his chest.

And as Mike stops the hug El shoves his head into hers (it actually looked like it hurt honestly XD)

the byler centric ending with the Hopper monologue reinforces this theme. Mike while looking at both cars driving away was thinking of Will . They show this by having Mike be sad as Will drives away (alone) twice as Mike  sadly watches him leave- this was done to show that he’s actually upset the 2 later times where Will and El leave at the same time -because of Will. I showed it in one of my vids here, at 23:11

When we first see Mike during the Hopper monologue , it continues to pan to only Mike and Will (not El) cause what he says is mostly about them. “I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something” (Will does this both figuratively/literally). I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”. Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (he just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave without him) like how Will turned to watch Mike leave and hold hands with El  (as the crew  go up the hill without Will).  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. And I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”

It pans to both of them on  “i don’t want things to change’ cause that’s how they both feel. Mike , ‘doesn’t want things things to change’. He doesn’t want their friendship to change as they ‘get older’ because he’d have to and acknowledge his feelings for Will are romantic and if he’s “being honest” that “scares” him (especially in rural 80s conservative-Indiana at the height of the aids epidemic).  Why we see Mike trying to act like a adult while dating El, and Will trying to act like a kid- they’re both trying to escape  growing up to be gay in different ways. Will reverting to childhood activities and saying he’ll ‘never fall in love’ (after his double date with lumax). And Mike trying to act like “old people’ saying “we’re not kids anymore... what did you expect that we’d never get girlfriends?” Cause he equates straight romance with being an adult and his feelings for Will as something he has to grow out of . Which he learns in the very end isn’t possible.

Right after that scene it switches from Will crying,  to Mike entering his house. His face is visibly red from crying and he looks shocked (almost as if he realized something) before he hugs his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1. 

And the dialogue in this scene says “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will are romantic.  When things were simple. I think the last episode is when Mike truly realizes he’s been in love with Will this entire time and he can’t fix it and transfer his feelings for Will on to el (something he’s been trying to do all of s3). El said he loved him and he felt nothing-and he was heartbroken over Will leaving (not El). Which is why he just seems almost shocked/numb as he’s processing this fact. This whole scene only showed Mike and Will transitions- el was never there, cause Mike wasn’t upset over her.

In the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors the scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. In s1 the romantic/queer coded lyric from the song ‘We can be heroes’ plays as he hugs his mom “And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.”. And during the s3 move  (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!  And David Bowie wrote this song and Jonathan even said to Will  in his ‘being a freak is the best speech’ “who would you rather be friends with David bowie (a queer singer) or Kenny Roggers?”

It’s why finn wolfhard after s3 liked this byler pic. cause s3 was all about Will and Mike denying their feelings for each other.

Not to mention,After s1 Finn quoted the  Duffers saying Mike thought of El as a “puppy’ (dart) or “et” , and then said  Mileven was a  “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x.  Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on- and most likely the Duffers told him “it’s like a first summer love thing”.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.

[fleetofshippyships]

Managed to write a little something through the brain fog and pain today, some junior shenanigans for an old ask game prompt in my inbox (’stomped’). 

Technically, no ships I guess, or implied Zhuiling, or implied Zhuizhen, or implied Lingyi, or implied Zhuiyi...let’s face it, I ship the poly junior quartet so hard every time I write them them it tends to end up that way so read it how you like in terms of ships or no ships at all and just ‘what’s some spooning between good friends?’

---

Another round of laughter, barely muffled through the walls, and Jin Ling decided enough was enough. It really was intolerable. And irresponsible.

He threw off his blankets and stomped out of his room at the inn. It was only after he was down the hall and throwing open the door to the others’ room that he realised he was only in his under-robe.

Heat rushed to his face, but was swiftly forgotten as the others cheered his sudden appearance, waving around cups and sloshing wine everywhere.

“Would you all shut up and sleep already!” Jin Ling snapped, somehow managing to remember his purpose even when faced with the shocking state they were in.

Ouyang Zizhen’s hair was...something. It looked like some attempt at the arrangement that was currently fashionable for weddings, but it was executed awfully, looking more like the nest of some sort of small animal.

Lan Jingyi was scandalously underdressed, a light under-robe barely covering him as it threatened to come untied at his waist, one leg sticking out in the awkward way he was sprawled on his side, one shoulder of the robe wet with what was probably wine.

Lan Sizhui was...red faced and missing his forehead ribbon.

The sight of his naked forehead sent Jin Ling’s thoughts skittering away from his desperate need for sleep after the nightmare their earlier hunt had been. He didn’t dare look around for where the forehead ribbon had ended up, and yet, he desperately needed to know for no accountable reason.

“Jin Liiiing!” Lan Jingyi cried. “You changed your mind about sharing a room with us!”

“Come, have a drink, have a drink,” Lan Sizhui said, beckoning him with a hand and sloppily pouring wine into a fourth cup that seemed to have been left out just for him.

“Jingyi, you should do his hair next,” Ouyang Zizhen said, lifting a hand to pat at his hair, a wistful look on his face that clearly said he hadn’t looked in a mirror yet.

Lan Jingyi perked up, pulling himself upright and nodding so vigorously his robe slipped off one shoulder.

Jin Ling hardly knew where to look, but the angry bruises across the bared side of Lan Jingyi’s chest caught his attention.

“What are you idiots doing? You’re keeping the whole inn awake!” he snapped, belatedly closing the door behind him even though he knew it was doing a poor job of dampening their noise. “You should be resting!”

Perhaps he should have agreed to share a cramped room with them instead of purchasing his own, he might have been able to stop them from such ridiculousness.

Then again, he was finding himself utterly defenceless when Lan Sizhui asked him to do...anything lately. And with the way Lan Sizhui was holding out a cup of wine with an eager and inviting expression, Jin Ling realised he probably would have been talked into it.

Even now, he was tempted, if only because he found it so oddly difficult to deny Lan Sizhui anything when he looked at him like that.

But the hour was so late, and they had all fought so hard during the hunt. Lan Jingyi wasn’t the only one covered in bruises and cuts and needing rest.

“What would Hanguang-Jun say if he saw you behaving this way instead of resting and caring for your wounds?”

It was a low blow, but that offered drink in Lan Sizhui’s hand was very tempting, even if he had no desire to embarrass himself in the way they were behaving. He’d die of shame if word reached his sect, or worse, his uncle. He had to stop them quickly.

In unison, they gasped and looked around, as if Hanguang-Jun might be summoned to the room just from Jin Ling speaking his name.

If the circumstances were different, if he wasn’t so exhausted and battered from the hunt, if they weren’t at a public inn, he might have joined them with little fuss and probably enjoyed himself, even if it was hard to fathom looking at the state they were in now, but they were at a public inn.

He rather thought it should be Lan Sizhui being the responsible one, but he hauled them up one by one, awkwardly trying to avoid touching Lan Jingyi’s very exposed skin, and pushed them towards their beds.

The room they’d purchased was so small that it only had two beds, and Lan Sihzhui and Ouyang Zizhen shared one while Lan Jingyi sprawled shamelessly over the other.

Jin Ling stood over him for a moment, eyeing his bruises and wondering if he should apply more salve to them. He didn’t trust the idiot to have done the job properly the first time, and he didn’t want to listen to him whining about how sore he was all the way back to Gusu.

It was usually Lan Sizhui who fussed over them, and it felt odd to find himself playing that part, and especially for an idiot like Lan Jingyi, who would shortly injure himself again in some stupid, embarrassing manner, but he was already reaching for the salve before he thought that he should maybe leave Lan Jingyi to his fate.

But he never managed to get the salve.

Lan Jingyi, with a ridiculously loud groan, pulled himself up and reached over until he managed to grab Jin Ling by his waist and yank him forwards.

Jin Ling toppled onto the bed and, while frantically trying to get away, found himself swiftly manoeuvred until his back was against Lan Jingyi’s chest and he was firmly trapped by his deceptively strong arms.

The position was so utterly unfamiliar that he froze instead of fighting to get free.

Across the room, Ouyang Zizhen was already snoring softly, and Jin Ling could see they were in a similar position, with Lan Sizhui nestled against Ouyang Zizhen. He had seen Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi sleeping huddled together many times out on hunts, but out in the wild felt somehow very different to in bed at an inn.

Head flooded his face when he remembered the way Lan Jingyi’s under-robe was all but falling off him.

“See, isn’t this better than a lonely room on your own?” Lan Jingyi mumbled, holding him, if anything, even tighter.

Protests rose to Jin Ling’s lips but he bit down on them. As strange and constricting as the position was, it wasn’t unpleasant. He had wondered before, seeing Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui sleep this way on hunts, what it would feel like to be held close by someone else.

Although he had never considered it would be Lan Jingyi who would do it.

There was no point trying to escape. He’d learned long ago that he was no match for Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui’s ridiculous upper body strength.

And...he wasn’t entirely sure he did want to escape, now that Lan Jingyi was relaxing his hold just a little and shifting into a more comfortable position.

“Shut up and sleep,” he muttered belatedly.

Lan Jingyi merely hummed dismissively into his hair, and Jin Ling decided that no matter how nice it was starting to feel to lie there in Lan Jingyi’s arms, he would still wake early and make them all suffer for keeping him awake so long.

---

I’m not really sure how Jin Ling wound up the responsible one in this...but anyway, I wrote a thing and that’s miraculous on its own so I don’t really care if it’s out of character XD

Please excuse errors, I didn’t have the spoons to edit it, and I’m really rusty writing, but I’ve been so inactive I just wanted to post something new here for now, maybe tidy it up later for AO3 if I find the spoons for editing and summary and title and all the hard stuff about posting fic XD

[allalrightagain]

Ao3 Stats Tag

@lunapwrites you tagged me in this what feels like forever ago (it was only a couple of days, but still) and this is the first time I've made it to my computer since. Thank you for the tag <3<3!

How many works do you have on AO3?

3, plus a few that should probably move there from other various places.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

4461

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

That I’ve published? Besides Harry Potter, I’ve got like 4 chapters of a Twilight fic I wrote with friends in middle school that will die on ffnet because I a) don’t remember the title, b) don’t remember our username, c) don’t remember the email (I do, weirdly, remember the password) and d) haven’t talked to either friend since like.. 2010.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(also fittingly the same order they were published in):

1) If logic beat hate (by only a little)

2) Where do we begin?

3) ‘78 count

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I got one I felt kind of weird about (and was… probably misinterpreting) a few months ago and haven’t managed to go back and respond to the ones that followed, but it’s my plan to respond to all of them! I totally understand why people might not want to, but I love getting responses back when I leave a comment on someone else’s work, so I’d like to believe I’m extending the warm fuzzy feeling I get back to anyone who comments.

Also, like, fandom is a community, even if some of that has collapsed a bit. We’re all here talking about how sad Remus Lupin’s life is/was/could be (or whatever), and the best way to keep doing that is to just keep talking to each other, even if it’s just a simple thank you/kudos.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh definitely '78 count haha. It's intentional! At its core, it's about death, the death of an entire generation, and survivors who die anyways. It's my lowest read fic, if nothing else than because of the MCD warning.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. Or at least, not that I know of. Maybe my Twilight fic has racked up the flames, but I kind of doubt it.

I spent a long time being terrified of— not even people hating my fic, just like, perceiving it? So, very little of what I’ve thought about has made it to paper (or screen) and even less to people’s eyes. It’s something I’ve gotten a lot better at, and am continuing to do every day.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*laughs in aroace* If I ever manage to write an actual ship, the answer will probably still be no. It takes a lot for me to be interested in a fic enough not to skim through reading smut, I’m fairly certain my own attempts would be “and then they kissed, anyways, moving on.”

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but it would be cool if someone liked my writing enough to do so!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Gen fic :)? I do like wolfstar and hinny, but I’ll read a lot of pairings as long as it’s a story I’m interested in. I’m a very easy sell, so long as it’s not only about the relationship (and it rarely is).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think that you ever will?

I have a Regulus Lives fic buried on pillowfort that could have used a lot more TLC than it got before seeing the light of day, and it very much got away from me. I learned a lot from what I did write, and a lot of those lessons got applied to DIWF, where they did a lot of good. I just think what I left myself isn’t a story that I can salvage into what I wanted it to be.

What are your writing strengths?

Definitely narrative style, which was my “thing” when I was in college (huge tip to people in creative writing classes— if you’re not sure what to write, pick the last story you read and write a similar story the same way, or pick two and rewrite one using the voice of the other. You will look very good for your prof and improve your writing!).

I think I’m pretty good at dialogue, but not always at making the dialogue sound like the right character.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Mixing dialogue and narration lmao. I can write you a script easily, and a story without dialogue almost as easily, but knowing when and how to build up or break up a scene with description often takes me dozens of rereads, and still feels clumsy to me.

Also length— I’m a short story writer at heart, I want to get in and get out. DIWF is testing my patience with both of these, but I know what I want it to look like, so I just keep beating more words into it XD

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it can be used really successfully, but it’s dependent on the writer knowing the language enough to use it masterfully, and context is extremely important. If the reader is supposed to understand what’s happening, then a translation needs to be conveyed in a way that’s easy to understand (I read mostly on mobile, so hovertext is generally useless, and putting it in the end notes is often annoying). If the goal is the reader and/or character(s) not knowing what’s said, it can come across as dismissive or othering of the other language (again, context=important).

That being said, there’s a special place in my heart for fics with dialogue in French, because I can actually read it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I have an adorable handwritten “and it was all a dream” fic I wrote at like.. 10? Definitely before book 7, and I think before book 6? Harry is killed by Voldemort and wakes up to the Marauders + Lily looking over his crib.

If you’re talking published, it would be the aforementioned Twilight fic I don’t remember.

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh don’t ask me to pick favorites! I like them all for different reasons.

It took me so long to post this I think everyone I would have tagged has done it already? So if you see this and haven’t done it, I’m tagging you <3

[painterofhorizons]

Honestly tell me anything about Vick! :D What does she look like? Why exactly is she at BACA (if you wanna spoil)? Does she like Dave? I mean duh she lives with him later but what are her thoughts on him? What are her thoughts on Alex and more importantly: Does he like Tonks? :D Is she more introverted or extroverted? Cats or dogs or both? But like I wrote anything about her would be interesting! <3

Weee, thank you for the ask! Lets see what I know (and what I don’t!).

What does she look like? heck, I don’t know. I tinkered with a few different face claims for her but haven’t found the one that clicks with me yet.

Why exactly is she at BACA (if you wanna spoil)? 

Ha, I just had to check if you read the Spiegelbilder chapter yet (which you have but it’s 2,5 years ago xD). While I do change a lot here and there for the english version (it’s kinda nice to be able to make readjustments, and I realized I will probably not translate any other chapter but the first chapter of the german version, but only use parts of all the german stuff and write complete new english chapters), I do stick with the basic Vick idea: Vick was a victim of ongoing abuse from a “family friend” in her early teens. After Alex and someone else from the club did a school presentation about BACA in Vick’s school, she went to Alex and asked for help. BACA stepped in and helped get her case in court, but the whole thing blew up. Her parents sided with the “family friend” and said she would lie and make it up and that she was a trouble teenager anyways. They made arrangements with the youth welfare office letting Vick, then 16yo, not go into foster care but live her life independently as long as she was in constant contact with her assigned social worker, had a fixed address (at that time: her troubled boyfriend Bobby’s place) and a job. So Vick made sure she always had some side job and made some money (stuff like working in food industry and at shops, poorly paid jobs) and the social worker would leave her alone. BACA tried to help as much as possible, helping her with paperwork, being a contact for the youth welfare service and social worker, helping her get therapy and stuff. Offering friendship, most of all. Alex stayed her major contact person there, and a person whom she trsuted, and eventually a real friend.

Does she like Dave? I mean duh she lives with him later but what are her thoughts on him?

Vick genuinely likes Dave. She has met him a few times at the club when they had things like summer parties and stuff and they talked and got along well. For some part she idealizes Dave because he’s Alex’ husband so he must be Good, you know? The relationship between Alex&Dave is something Vick looks up to but knows (haha) she will never have herself. On the other hand she doesn’t really understand why Dave likes her, because she sees herself as this broken little gremlin and is like “why would he even look at me”, which, again, is complete bullshit.

What are her thoughts on Alex

She trusts her. She looks up to her on some level. She thinks Alex is cool and strong and someone Vick herself will never be, which, of course, is wrong. But most of all, Vick trusts her and sees a real friend in her.  

and more importantly: Does he like Tonks? :D

Do see below in the random facts. :D

Is she more introverted or extroverted? I think she is an extroverted introvert? I don’t see her in any of these categories tbh, because she’s pretty much in a similar situation in her teens as Alex was: forced out of home and forced to survive somehow, so she just sticks with the people she knows (aka Bobby) no matter how they are and comes to an arrangement with it. So she is able to be a fun person to be around and work with whatever crowd of people there is - in that way she is an extrovert by need - because she needs people to survive. On the other hand people have forcefully taken away a huge part of her ability to trust and she tends to be only extroverted on the surface, but because she has a hard time actually letting people in and trusting them she prefers to be alone and just do her thing, which makes he an introvert by need. She still needs to find her place in life - though she is rather on the introverted end and prefers a small group of good people instead of being among many people all the time. So when she ends up with Alex&Dave and often sees Will&bf and Tonks&Garcia, she is like “this is it, this is good and enough” and they all have a somewhat hard time getting her to meet people actually her age group. But then she meets her yet nameless to-be husband and forms a little circle of her own eventually, with said to-be husband, own dog and a few good friends (though of course she also stays friends with Alex&co.).

Cats or dogs or both? She doesn’t pick sides! Whatever creature will like her, she will love it back. She loves dogs and cats, though when she starts living with Julius she really falls for him and at the shelter with all the other dogs, too, so she might be drawn a little more to dogs. She is a dog person, though, having to go for several walks a day and always having a fluffy companion at her sides just makes her happy, cats are a little too independent maybe.

Random facts about Vick and her future:

her real name is Praise Karley Huff - she hates her last name because it’s so negative, so when she gets her road name when joining BACA she choses Vick and sticks with that name

she might have a little crush on Tonks (not in the way that she actually hopes it will work out, but a secret little crush doesn't hurt, right? for some time she blushes every time she sees Tonks - everyone notices but everyone is being very polite and ignoring about it because everyone once was young, right?)

when she spends more time with Alex&Dave living there, she also sees Tonks more often and guy starts seeing her as a little sister kind of girl, she outgrows the crush eventually and just really loves him as a friend (though even later there will always stay a slight sense of butterflies in her stomach when he is around, even when she is happily married and all)

after she gets Alex&Dave to play boardgames with her, they often play together with Will&his bf whos name I always forget as they live next door

which leads to Will offering her a job in his office as a general helping hand (actually just to give her a job when she's searching)

when it’s obvious just how much she loves Julius, Dave introduces her to Mick and the animal shelter --> Mick immediately “adopts” Vick and lets her volunteer there, so Vick goes for a walk with the dogs there everyday; later Mick gives Vick a poor lil puppy to foster it after the mother died in a car accident, of course Vick ends up keeping the pup

she's an artsy type (drawing and photography) and Alex&Dave encourage her to go for it for a living

she ends up with a very sweet guy and builds a family with him in her early 20s (he's a generally Good Guy)

they marry and she becomes a mum in her early 20s, they get a house and a stable, good life together

[tsukikoayanosuke]

7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 16, 27, 35 & 39

[It’s a lot again 😅 hope you don’t mind :D]

I might be going way too far with these answers, so please bear with me ^^’

Sorry for the long rambles but these are my answers!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oof. This is hard. There’s actually a lot of paragraphs that I like throughout the writing process. I can re-read and just pick which is my favorite, it’ll be different every time.

But, I think the thing currently going on with TW:OPT can be summed up in this Once Upon a Time… (I was being dumb and I thought prose is just poetry without rhyme)

So, this drabble is written on the run. There’s not really deep thought and I can’t even remember why I wrote it in the first place. From the date I posted it on Tumblr it was in the middle of Octavinelle Arc.

But, in this small crappy prose-poetry, it has one of the themes in TW:OPT: happy vs sad ending. This is something that I want to build since in the early stage. The theme of TW:OPT is second chances for the reincarnated villains, giving them a happy ending, something way better than the original ones.

So, if you look for example the two lines about the Queen of Heart:  

The Queen of Heart was forgotten by Alice like it was just a bad dream

The Queen of Heart will always be remembered by Alice as his dear friend and the greatest queen

The first line is what happens to the original Disney Alice’s Queen of Hearts, while the second line is what happens to Riddle, the current reincarnation of the Queen of Hearts. It’s a good change for Riddle’s life.

However, like everything, there has to be something to balance it. 

After all, good endings cannot exist without bad endings.

Can the good guys really live with the bad guys in harmony? After all, all Disney movie always has “good wins, evil lose” theme. If the “evil side” wins, wouldn’t that mean the “good side” loses? Is that even a good thing or even possible?

After all, the One-Eyed Captain found his happy ending to sail away once again. What will happen to him in his next life?

This line becomes the question. What will happen to the already-set happy endings? Would they just disappear to change into bad endings to keep the balance?

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8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m debating between many dialogues, but I think the one piece I’m most proud of is in Chapter 97. I'm cutting a lot of the narration and just focus on the dialogues because it becomes too long.

Riddle: What happens that day? The day when everything went downhill. Azul: Didn't anyone tell you already? Riddle: I want to hear it from your or Jonah's mouth. What happened that you must curse him? Azul: Pretty simple, really. I told him not to come here that day, and he did To make it worse, that boy was stupid enough to go back against our agreement. Riddle: Just that? Azul: Oh, please, dear Crimson Ruler. I don't want to hear that from you. Have you forgotten about your reign before? Riddle: I know what I did was tyrannical, but I want to be better. Azul: Because of the captain told you too? Riddle: No. This is my choice to change. Just like it was your choice to curse him. He trusts you, you know? He knows that you wouldn't go back against your own words, which was why he was willing to sign another contract with you. Azul: If he trusts me that much, why is he against me? If he trusts me, why did he choose to save his stupid friends than agreeing with me? Tell me, Riddle Rosehearts...Why does he choose you instead of me?

We all know what happened during Octavinelle Arc and I don't deny that this sounds cheesy or slightly ooc. And let me just say this, there's no intention of this become a love triangle or whatsoever.

There are two things I want to highlight in this exchange: Riddle's growth and Azul's decline.

Riddle, after everything happened in Heartslabyul and Savanclaw arc, finally putting his foot down on where he wants to stand. He wants to be a better person, more than just the feared Crimson Tyrant. That's why he's helping them. Not because the boys are breaking the rules, not because someone tells him to, but Riddle is willing to risk it all, even his unique magic (as we see at the end of this chapter and the next) to save his friends. Again, this might sound ooc and I apologize, but from my perspective, this is a logical step of development for Riddle.

Meanwhile, Azul is showing more and more decline from this until the end of Octavinelle Arc even Scarabia Arc. For Azul who knows how easy people can leave and mock when you have nothing, seeing Jonah leave him and siding with the anemones is basically a betrayal. He can't think rationally when it comes to the betrayal and we see how brash he can be with anything related to Jonah throughout the arc where all of their interaction nearly kills Jonah.

If Riddle-Jonah is a coming-of-age story, Azul-Jonah is a broken friendship story.

.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

This is a hard one to write. You might think I’ll just answer with TW:OPT, but honestly, all multi chapters fanfic has their own difficulties, so I can’t choose which is the hardest.

For Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure, where I do treat this as a novel-writing practice, keeping the consistency with the theme, plot points, and characterization.

For Private Tutor, Angel of Death, Philza Minecraft, actually coming up with new ideas is hard because I don’t based this on anything, and just write anything once a week. In addition that I’m still new in Dream SMP fandom so characterization won’t be the strongest thing.

For both TWST MC Hybrid AU and Magical Girl AU, giving the massive cast equal spotlight and actually not getting lost is quite a challenge. Both AU has seven main characters and I need to give them the same amount to screen time.

And don’t get me started with those smut. I won’t be talking about it because I’m keeping it family friendly. Those has their own problems XD

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10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

As I said, every fic has their own problems, even one shot. So, I’m looking through my works and trying to figure out which fic I wrote the fastest but had the most fun.

I think I’ll go with A Wish for a Proposal because the comfort in this fic with Ace going heads over heels for Deuce and being doki-doki all the time. And the kiss under a shooting star, AH! Poetic cinema~

I do enjoy when I wrote how Ace thought keeping a toy ring as childish but he ended up using it to confess to Deuce and thinking that it’s not as childish as he thought.

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13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

There are good writing advice that I had head, one of them came from On Writing: Great Character Descriptions! by Hello Future Me. He has so many good advices in writing and I highly recommend him.

He said that “when describing characters it’s good to focus on their movements that can tell the readers of who the characters are”. As someone who has many troubles in writing physical description, this is actually a great alternative, especially when you want to go thought the “show don’t tell”.

After watching the video I tried to write something. I ended up writing Jonah’s father, Benjamin, in Chapter 137

The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname. Benjamin Argentum was a man with slouched back from the burden of the world, white strands on his reddish-brown hair and tired, but kind, black eyes. He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days. The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather, along with the delicious appetizer that he had prepared a few minutes ago on the reception table. The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen. There was no way all of these were coincidences. Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.

I want to highlight how Benjamin is a kind old man ("He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days”, ”The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather”) but has his own problems (”a man with slouched back from the burden of the world”), and very similar to Jonah (”The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname”, ”The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen”, “Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.”)

It’s not the best descriptions, because most of the example used highlight only one most recognizable feature while my description highlight nearly everything. I still need some practice.

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14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

“Write what’s mainstream”.

Here’s my problem with it: sometimes anything that’s mainstream is not my thing. I like to challenge what we are given and give it a spin. 

I mentioned before that growing up with Indonesian TV Series that only centers around love, riches, and cheating, I grew tired of it. That was why I once tried to make a script for a group of friends creating a classical music band and mental problems. 

I’m not the first one to make an adaptation of TWST, but I think I’m one of the first, at least in AO3, that make an adaptation with Male MC. Among the Female MC or Female Readers story with a hint (or too much) of Romance, I want to give something for the small group who wants Male MC or something more platonic to read.

I always want to push slightly further, trying something that I haven’t seen at first glance, giving varieties. I will admit that would always doubt whether me writing something different is even worth it or not. But when I saw that yes, this is worth it, I gain more confidence and become bolder in my twist.

Going against the mainstream is risky, but we'll see whether it's worth it or not.

.. 

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Oh no... Does it have to be a romantic pairing?

Okay. I don't really have an OTP. I mean, I like ROnah and JonAzul, but I don't think I can't live with writing only about them.

So, romantically, I don’t know. But, this doesn’t help with platonically either because I find enjoyment in writing all relationship. Just pushing the limit of my writing, you know?

So, I don’t think I can answer this because I’m a coward XD

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27. How do you feel about collaborations?

A mixed bag.

So currently I'm in at least 2 collab projects: TWST MC Hybrid AU and Arisu in Alternate Wonderland. In the former, I'm the group leader, while in the latter, I'm just a writer.

Both sidea are different experiences. With AiAW, it's definitely lighter because this is basically retelling TWST but with seven Yuus. However because of this freedom and the possibilities of anything, I cannot predict whether my oc action will affects in the future or how they would interact with other ocs in the project.

With Hybrid AU, since this is a fantasy au, anything can happen. Plus as the main writer, I can see and plan clearly which event will be important and setting the characters' arc. It's definitely harder to organize because of the various idea that we want to write.

So, yeah. Collaboration can be two things for me: a scripted roleplay or a freestyle roleplay

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35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

*looking at draft for TW:OPT Book 2*

Maybe...?

.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I remember when I was a kid, I wrote a fanfiction where it only features OCs, and someone gave a review, ranting about the lack of canon characters. I, of course, sulked a bit but then just keep writing.

However, what I usually do when it comes to comments is take them into considerations. During Scarabia Arc I got a comment that the Jonah-Azul therapy moment is kinda weak, and rereading it, I can see that. Which was why the next part of the therapy Arc I tried to connect them further. So compare the JonAzul scene in the last part of Chapter 124 with the first part of Chapter 126. At least for me, I prefer the latter because there's more intimacy.

[whattodowithace]

Roomates Code (Donghun & Seyoon)

Title: Roommates Code

Pairing: Liju x Donghun & Seyoon. (But can be reader x Donghun & Seyoon)

Genre: Humor & Fluff with some Spice

Word count: 2140

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

A/N: This is a story I wrote based off of a dream I had about me and Lio if we were with our Biases. This is one of our favorite fanfics. XD this gives you a glimpse into our personality. Because we are EXACTLY like this. XD ~Ju

I collapse on my bed, nervously waiting for my best friend to answer me. She was in her room with her boyfriend of two years, Kim Seyoon. While I,  i was having  a panic attack over something that had just been sent me.

Let me explain how i got here first; My roommate has stuck by me since high school. We have been inseparable since then. Our similar personalities making a perfect bond. Our relationship easy and low maintenance. Once we graduated, we decided to move to the city into a small apartment together to share the rent.

Our separate jobs kept us busy and active over the next four years we lived together. Seeing each other through the bad times and the good. Staying up all night many nights talking and watching TV. Our loud laughs annoying our neighbors no end.

Then, two years ago, my roommate met Seyoon. She bucked having a boyfriend for a long time. Enjoying being single. But Seyoon's determination payed off and soon they were a close knit pair. While i decided to stay single even longer though I was happy for her, but not wanting that for myself as much. I had never had a boyfriend before. Even in high school i stayed to myself and kept my head down. But everyone found me easy to get along with. My roommate was also this way, but we kept each other busy and didn't get lonely.

Me and my roommate made a pact after she met Seyoon. And because we respected each other and didn't  get hurt, it had worked out for us. The rule was when we wanted privacy with our boyfriend, the other either had to make arrangements to stay elsewhere or wear noise cancelling headphones. (Our walls were paper thin and our bedrooms stationed right next to each other. ) So we always made sure our headphones were charged and ready to go.

So whenever her and Seyoon needed time alone, i either left or wore my headphones while i read a book. Wishing her the best of luck.

There was another half to this pact though. Me and my roommate only texted each other on separate messaging apps for everyday things. The messaging app that comes on the phone was saved for emergencies. So if, while my roommate was busy with Seyoon and i was gone and something happened, i could call her or text her and a ringtone assigned only for me would go off. Telling her to stop what she was doing and help. The same rule applied to me.  Call it a homing beacon if you want. Or an SOS.

I was now 24 years old and things had changed a lot in the last four months. Seyoon had set me up on a date with one of his best friends, Lee Donghun. I really did not want to go on that date. I hated being set up and felt it was a huge waste of time. But my roommate talked me into it and dolled me up beyond all belief. And when i arrived at the restaurant and met Donghun i was pleasantly surprised by how much we had in common and how easily we got along. Our conversation never going awkward or boring.

Over the next four months we exchanged many late night phone calls, many more dates, and many long walks together that drew us closer and closer. All the while my roommate and Seyoon were over the moon that their attempt to set us up had worked so well.

And now we are here. Back the present. With me panicking in my bedroom waiting for my roommate to reply to my SOS. It was the first time i had ever sent out an SOS to her. I had gotten home from my date with Donghun, my black dress itching my skin as i unlocked my apartment door. Donghun had walked me up, standing behind me as i unlocked the door.

I had noticed the way he had stayed a little longer than usual as he played with his car keys, how he kept glancing inside. And how his lips stayed on mine a little longer than they normally did, his eyes glossy when we pulled away from each other.

But me never having a boyfriend before, had no clue what that all meant. So i wished him goodnight and went inside. I had changed out of my dress and had  let my hair down when i see his name pop up on my phone.

From; Donghun Bear🐻

I'll be at your place in five minutes. You left something in my car. 😊

I feel my heart sink into my stomach, immediately nervous about his coming over so late. I step outside my bedroom door and went to my roommates door, i placed my hand on her doorknob before wincing and pulling it away. I had forgotten Seyoon was staying the night with her.

I quickly go back to my room and shut the door. Immediately picking up my phone and pulling up her name on the phones messaging app. I bite my nail as i send the text, my heart beating rabidly against my chest.

To; Hussy

Donghun is coming over. And he just dropped me off at home 10 minutes ago.

I plop down on my bed, waiting for a reaction. I hear her phone go off, the repetitive text tone going off loudly.  I hear her moan slightly before i can hear her footsteps across her bedroom floor. Its silent for a moment before i hear her rush to her bedroom door, slamming it and then busting into my room.

Her hair was a mess and her zip up hoodie hung off one shoulder, her eyes wide.

"He's doing what?" She asks, closing my bedroom door.

"He's coming over in 5 minutes to return something i left in his car." I fill her in. Standing up from my bed.

My roommate shakes her head, rubbing her eyes as she asks, "What did you leave in his car?"

"I don't think i left anything."

"But he's still coming?" She asks, her eyes going wider.

"Yes." I say, slightly bewildered.

She takes a deep breath before smirking at me, "Put on a different shirt. Something form fitting. I'll clean up the living room and your room a bit for you." She commands, scurrying around the room picking up my black dress to hang it up.

"Wait.. why... what is happening?" I stutter, unsure what to do.

"He's coming over at 9:30 at night. He isn't just coming to drop something off, he wants to stay with you. What do you think he wants?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

I suck in a gasp, my face heating up.

"Just go change." She tells me, moving to the living-room.

I change into a form fitting tank top to match my black sweatpants. I change with shaky hands before joining her. Seyoon smiles at me from his spot on the couch, his blonde hair messy and his eyes sleepy.

"Seyoon, we need to leave." My roommate says, grabbing her jacket.

"No!" I shout, taking her arm. "Don't leave me. He may just drop something off and leave."

"I highly doubt that." She smirks, making my face heat up again.

"Just stay and see?" I ask, nerves swirling in my stomach.

She looks at Seyoon, who smiles and shrugs, "I would like to see what happens honestly." He says.

She sighs and nods her head, "Okay, we'll stay. But you can't make out with him on the couch if that is what happens. You'll have to move him to your bedroom. Me and Seyoon will hide in my room. If he leaves just come get us, if he stays you have to shut your bedroom door hard."

"What will you do if he stays?" I ask, suddenly more nervous.

"I'll stay the night at Seyoon's. If you close your bedroom door hard that means we should leave. I don't want to listen to you panting half the night."

I narrow my eyes at her before picking up a pillow and throwing it at her, making her laugh as she takes Seyoon's hand and leads him back to her room.

As they pass me Seyoon whispers, "You'll be just fine." Making me smile a little at his reassurance.

Moments later I hear a knock on the  door, making me jump and my stomach drop. I suck in a breath before going and unlocking the door, Donghun's warm smile greeting me.

"Hi." I say, smiling up at him.

"Hey." He says back, his eyes locked on me.

`````

"Can you hear anything?" Seyoon asks, sitting on my roommates bed patiently.

"They're talking." She answers, pressing her ear to the door harder.

Several minutes pass before she says, "It's gone very quiet."

"Did they leave?" Seyoon whispers, pressing his own ear to the door. Straining to hear.

"She would have told me." She answers, checking her phone just to be sure.

A minute later heavy footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Seyoon sucks in a breath as the footsteps walk passed their room and a loud door slamming shut follows moments later.

Quickly, she grabs Seyoons hand and leads him out of her bedroom, "That was a very strong 'Leave' " She mumbles under her breath, leading Seyoon to the front door quietly.

"Wait," Seyoon hisses, pulling his hand away. "Should we really leave her alone? I mean, can she handle Donghun?'

She opens her mouth to answer him when a loud moan from Dongun echos down the hall toward them. She takes Seyoon's hand again, stifling a laugh as she answers, "I'm pretty sure she has things under control."

```````

I let out a laugh as Donghun places a gentle kiss on my cheek, making it the hundredth one that morning.

"Donghun, shes going to come back to change for work any minute." I whine through a giggle.

Donghun sighs and looks at me, a smirk on his lips, "I really don't want to leave."

I run my finger along the purple spots all over his neck, making him tense slightly at my touch. "You'll see me tonight though."

Donghun lets out a shaky breath as he leans down and kisses my lips, making butterflies erupt in my stomach. "I'll see you tonight." He whispers against my lips before pulling away and walking down the hall.

He stops, however, when he sees my roommate walks up the stairs. She smirks at him, seeing the bright purple marks covering his neck. His face and ears turn a deep red as he exchanges greeting with her and keeps walking. I quickly go and lock myself in the bathroom  to take a shower before work.

I had just turned the water on when i hear a loud knock on the door, "I want details!" My roommate yells through the door. "His neck was covered in bruises, i cannot imagine what you look like." She teases, making me narrow my eyes at the door.

"It's none of your business." I snap at her as i step into the shower, the hot water stinging my skin.

"That's not how this works." She taunts. "I've shown you my hickey's before now it's your turn."

I let out a sigh in the shower, knowing what awaited me when i got out. "Are you seeing him again?" She asks me.

"Tonight." I tell her, "We're going to his place."

"Was he that good?" She asks in an innocent sing song voice.

"Shut up!" I screech, throwing a shampoo bottle at the door. I hear my roommate let out a laugh, clearly enjoying this.

I finish showering in peace before stepping out of the bathroom with my work clothes on. My roommate met me with a smirk, my neck visible with the cut of my shirt.

"He did a number on you too i see." She says, smiling widely.

I sigh and lift the hem of my shirt up to reveal several dark spots along my ribcage where he had bit me multiple times. My roommate sucks in a gasp and starts giggling.

“What did he return, by the way?” She asks, controlling her laughter for a moment. Tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

I hang my head as I hold up my wrist showing a hair tie. My roommates laugh fills the apartment over the small object Donghun felt inclined to return so quickly.

"Well he got what he wanted that’s for sure. And don't think my concealer will be able to cover all of your marks, sweetie." She teases, still smiling at me. I roll my eyes at her as i make my way to my room to finish getting ready.