#silly surfer gal

[funny-lethbian]

I cant stop playing roblox total drama

[lizzy-frizzle]

My thoughts on Frames I have: (images of warframes accompanied by snippets of my thoughts - will be a bit of scrolling)

Mag: - Starting Frame - Eh

Ivara (prime): - Base form was my first frame (gifted to me) - I love her, Jellyfish Wife - Probably is angry with me on how I execute some spy missions - I keep changing her colors

Khora: - Something about her screamed "Make me pink" to me - Whips and Group Bondage 😳 - She dances a lot c:

Yareli: - Surfer chick! - Surfboard is a living creature! Besties! - The kids LOVE her! - Do a Flip!

Zephyr: - "Hey guys what's this button doooo-" *launches into a wall across the map* - WHOOSH - I was playing around with the zoom ability and accidentally continued the mission - *Floats there*

Wisp (prime): - My love! I love her! She's the best! My wife! - *stims with her shadow clone* - We can win this with the power of the Sun! - Just a silly gal c: - *stims by floating upside down*

Excalibur Umbra: - Oh....oh dude.....dude............dude....... - I am giving you a hug (and therapy) - Oh sick, he comes with Accessories!

[emoassx3]

Meeting the Jackass guys!

✮₊⊹₊⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆₊ ⊹✮ ✮₊⊹₊⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆₊ ⊹✮ ✮₊⊹₊⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆₊ ⊹✮

No warnings! Just a silly little fic..

Note: hiii this is my first fic, i love writing though, if anyone wants me to write for any characters of jackass or another show/movie/etc. i’ll try my best i promise !!🖤🖤🖤 I know this is bad btw!! First fic but if y’all want to give tips or anything please dooo!

₊ ⊹₊ ⊹☣︎♰☣︎⊹₊ ⊹₊

I couldn’t remember the last time I skated, or let alone went to the skate park here in town. As a kid I was..well, considerably good, but after so long I definitely have lost my ability to do at least tricks. Waking up this morning though, it’s like I just HAD to go skating, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. “How’d you sleep?”, mom said, “Oh um, okay, I had a weird dream, but that’s all.”, “I’m sorry to hear that dear, I have to leave early for work today, though so I won’t be back for awhile, love you honey, have a good day!” Is all mom said before running out the door.

I can’t find my damn board!! I know I haven’t skated in awhile but shit, it has to be around here somewhere! I checked in the closet one more time, already having the outfit I wanted to wear out on my bed. There it is, I don’t know how I missed it the first few times I checked, guess I’m blind or something. I grab my board and put it next to my door and head to the shower real quick, even though I just know i’m gonna be sweating bullets. After shaving my legs and all that, I end my shower, put a towel on and head to my room and put my outfit on.

Pulling up to the skate park I see quite a few guys…actually a lot of guys, all…not bad looking at all. Well, they look like a fun group, should I go say hi? Or is that too forward or creepy…what if they’re like way older than me and think i’m a freak..? “AH!” I get startled out of my thoughts from a tap on my window. It’s a man, he looks older than me, but not by much, he has a shaved head, kind of defined cheekbones, shirtless of course because of the heat, and he’s holding a board. I roll down my window, he seems nice enough. “Hi! I was wondering if I could do a trick off your car? If not that’s totally chill, man!” The man exclaimed. “Oh uhhhhhhh sure why not..? Just don’t break anything or i’ll make you pay.” I say as I hit my right fist on my hand as if I’m about to beat him up. “HAH, nooooo no no of course not, I’m Steve by the way, everyone calls me Steve-O though. If you want you can go hangout over there with my friends, ya know…watch me do my rad ass trick!” He smiled so wide, such a gentle acting man I just have to let him do it.

“Do it you pussy!!” one of his friends next to me says, he looks more goth than all the other guys, has some sort of accent or way of talking, I can’t pinpoint it though. “Shut the hell up, dude! I’m trying, I don’t want to break the chicks car though!” Steve-O yells back. As if the guys completely didn’t see me next to them, some of them turn to look at me, a few giving me weird looks. One man though struts up to me, another man, little shorter than the first man, follows behind him, beaming almost. “Hi! I’m Johnny Knoxville! I dunno if you’ve heard of me, heh, me and these guys have an MTV show called—“ He was cut off by the guy behind him. “Come on man, don’t try to show us off! Let’s just hangout and skate, ya know?” This made Johnny’s eyes roll however. “Yeah yeah, Pontius, I know! I just wanna impress the gal a little.” Johnny says back to the other. The man ignores this though and turns to you and smiles, “Hey, i’m Chris, you seem real chill! Heh,” He kind of chuckles in that sort of dumb surfer guy kinda way, hella cute not gonna lie.

“DUDES. Stop trying to distract from my trick! What the hell!!” Steve-O says from off my car. “HAH, sorry Steve! Go on ahead, we’re all watching!” Johnny yells to Steve-O. Steve-O is about to do his trick, already starting to push off his board when.. ‘BEEP, BEEP, BEEP’ my car horns start blaring. Shit..I think I hit something on my car keys shiiiit!! “AH, fuck!” Steve-O yells before totally eating shit off my car. All of his friends laughed their asses off, I ran to go help him though. “ Dude! Are you okay??” I yelled. Steve-O, getting up, said “Ouch, yeah dude, i’m used to that kind of shit, don’t worry.” I figured as much, since he was a skater after all. Johnny walks up to us though from where the guys were STILL laughing at. “That’s what I tried to tell you earlier, doll, we have a tv show where we basically just hurt ourselves for fun!” I was a little shocked by the information honestly, not that I’m against it, just not a common thing to hear I guess. “Oh huh? That sounds kind of fun.. would it be crazy if I joined in on one of the episodes one day? I’d do some shit like that too!” I said, sounding a little more excited than I meant to. “HELL YEAH! we could use a chick in the gang!” Johnny said back.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆ Time Skip ⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Later that night, I was just so excited to talk to all the guys, Steve-O and Johnny gave me their numbers so I can talk to them about tomorrow on set. They said this guys… ‘Jeff Tremaine’ would love me, and I hope so, I’d really love to be a permanent member of the shows crew.

Next morning, I woke up to texts from Steve-O and Johnny.

Johnny:“Y/Nnnnnnn where are you? We’re about to start some filming, come join!!”

Steve-O: “Yooo y/n where are you? Gotta have a buddy here today, Chris isn’t on set today😞”

Shit, didn’t I over sleep? Better get going..I reply back to them, “Omw!” and go take a shower. After my shower I go back to my room. Whaaat to wear what to wear? Something cute but not too cute, I’ll probably end up getting dirty. I ended up putting on something more casual and started driving to the address I was given.

The place looks kinda weird, big building but it has a very official office like feeling to it. I text Johnny that i’m here and I hop out of my car. Johnny jogs out the front doors to the building, “Hey y/n! What’s up? Ready to start filming? We’re dealing with simple stuff today don’t worry!” Johnny says excitedly. “Oh, sweet yeah we should head inside then, i’m ready to get started right now!” We walk inside, and i’m greeted to Jeff Tremaine almost immediately. “Hey Y/N, heard a lot about you from the guys already, I hope you’re ready to get hurt, heh!” Truthfully, I wasn’t, in the slightest.. but these guys all seem super cool so I feel obligated to now. “Yeah, little nervous but i’m sure it’d be okay, right?” My comment made Johnny chuckle a little. “Oh sweetheart, you’re in over your head huh.. these guys tase each other every day. Hope you’re okay with that!”

“Oh shit..”

End.

This is so bad, SORRY. I didn’t write any romance into this one either because I thought it’d be better to start off easy. Please please give me suggestions, tips, anything helps. Let me know if any of you actually did like this, for my first fic i know it’s bad but i’m learning! Thank you!

[robineer]

ideas for rewriting 202X's photography club

Anything in brackets means that it is a placeholder.

They're just a bunch of exchange students from America who have a heavy interest in Japan... and true crime.

They still retain their mannerisms and such from their days in America.

[Fred] is a very Anthpo-inspired guy, to say the least. He's great at putting together scripts, and can easily sense if something's off. (For context, Anthpo was a YouTuber who made content about him and his friends' high school/college experiences.)

[Dafuni] is a former (unless [Akademi] has some sort of cheerleading group) cheerleader gal. She won't hesitate to encourage her friends in times of need.

[Beruma] is a nerd gal who tries to act like the calm mom friend, but is equally as silly as the rest of the group. She's eerily good at collecting and presenting information.

[Sukubi] is that one kid who everyone called a furry- which he is. Besides that, he has a lot of stamina, which could be useful when time is of the essence.

[Rojasu] is a band kid who mains brass but also dabbles in percussion. His ears tend to catch onto whatever sounds are around.

As for appearances, I've yet to come up with anything that isn't "Make Fureddo based off of the high-sounding surfer dude cashier guy from that one pier restaurant I went to (that I made some mid art and weird lil memories at)."

[writethehousedown]

Sunshine Brighter Than Blind Love (Scyvie) - Zyan

a/n: this is not surfer AU, i know. but hear me out: i’ll post the remaining chapters during the make up period, don’t think i’m leaving you hanging. title is taken from the LP song “Girls go Wild” for no apparent reason, I just liked it - now, have some soft gals! the fic is settled in a wild west period. a cowgirl au, if you will. hope you enjoy! sideblog is @chachkisalpaca as always x

“Don’t you think it’s hot today?” Scarlet asks, lying on a pile of hay and fanning herself with Yvie’s hat. Yvie stops grooming one of Scarlet’s father’s horse to look at her, her brow cocked.

“Hot? In the middle of July? Of course not,” she deadpans, making Scarlet frown and childishly stick her tongue out at her. Yvie chuckles, going back to work. “You could be inside the house, where it’s much cooler than here, y’know,” Yvie comments, but Scarlet dismisses her with a wave of her hand.

“Nah, inside is no fun. My mama’s been insistin’ to teach me embroidery, but that’s boring,” she says, moving around the hay and finding a more comfortable position. “I like hangin’ out with you much more.” Yvie smiles at the compliment, slightly biting the inside of her cheek.

She’s not sure why Scarlet likes her or why she risks getting grounded by her parents every time she comes to the stables just to hang out and talk with Yvie, who definitely shouldn’t be getting distracted from her job by talking with her boss’ daughter, but she doesn’t complain. Scarlet is kind, quick witted, and fun to be around.

Well, she’s not so fun when she takes off the layers of clothing and lays in the hay in a see-through silk gown that allows Yvie to see every curve of her body without the corset. It’s distracting, but she doesn’t say a word about it, because she shouldn’t be getting distracted by Scarlet like that.

Scarlet sits upright in the hay, pulling her soft auburn hair in a loose bun with a piece of lace, tying it in a little bow. Yvie takes a vow to not look at her or else she won’t be able to pull her gaze off again.

“Yves,” Scarlet calls. Yvie hums to let her know she’s listening. “D’you wanna go for a swim?” She asks cheerfully, staring at her with a toothy smile.

Surprised, Yvie looks at her, tilting her head to the side. “But I have work to do,” she simply says. Scarlet pouts, folding her arms. She looks cute as all hell.

“Oh, c’mon! Dad’s not home and my mama’s off to her friend’s house,” Scarlet tries to persuade her, but Yvie cocks a skeptical brow. Both of Scarlet’s parents horses are taking a nap at the stable.

She shifts her weight from one foot to another, “Huh, last time I checked, Storm and Buttercup were over there.” Yvie points with her chin towards the entrance of the stables, but Scarlet cocks a brow, standing up and jumping a little to see over the fences. She curses when she notices it’s true.

“Ah, damn. You got me, they’re home, I just want you to come with me to the river. I’m sweating in places I didn’t know could sweat,” she admits with a shrug. Yvie chuckles, pinching her cheek.

“Then take a bath, silly.”

“I would, but where’s the fun in that?” Scarlet says, folding her arms and throwing herself back into the pile of hay with a groan.

Yvie laughs wholeheartedly. Scarlet sometimes can be a bit of a brat —collateral effects of being an only child, she supposes— but she’s nothing like some other girls from families she’s worked for. As far as Yvie knows, Scarlet is a sweetheart compared to them.

And because she’s a sweetheart —and maybe because Yvie fancies her the tiniest, minuscule bit—, she lets out an over the top groan and folds her arms, too.

“I guess I have to accompany you to the river, don’t I?”

A giddy, child-like smile appears on Scarlet’s face as she claps excitedly. Somehow, Yvie knows she’ll regret this.

***

Yvie regrets this. Very much so.

Scarlet makes her walk for almost half an hour to get to the river, first and foremost. And then, when Yvie thinks they’re just going to sit by the shore and wet their feet, Scarlet shamelessly strips from her clothes and dives right into the water, leaving Yvie frozen for a moment.

“Well, what are you waiting for, an invitation? Aren’t you joining me?” She cheekily asks, almost as if she knows what she does to Yvie.

Yvie nods dumbly, because she’s forgotten how to speak, apparently. She’s starting to unbutton her shirt when she finds her voice again. “Don’t look, please.” Scarlet puts her hands up to cover her eyes and turns around, and Yvie hastily gets rid of her clothes, setting them next to Scarlet’s.

The water is cold, and it soon relieves the heat. Yvie lets out a small pleased moan, and taps on Scarlet’s shoulder to let her know she can turn around already. She has a bright, cheery smile as she slightly splashes her.

“This is nice,” she says, oddly sheepish. She takes advantage of it to wash her hair and Yvie gives her some space, pressing her knees against her chest as she watches her.

“This is better than cleaning horse shit, yeah,” Yvie concedes, and Scarlet chuckles.

The sun is peeking through the trees, everything is in silence, with the exception of a few birds chirping, and the river’s water splashes against the rocks, creating a beautiful symphony.

As Scarlet untangles her hair, it occurs to Yvie that she looks like those mythical creatures from far away lands she’s heard her father talk about — women with a sobrenatural beauty and being way too kind to be real. The name nymph rings in Yvie’s mind, and she finds it fitting for Scarlet.

“Y’know, you never told me why did you start working at my family’s ranch,” Scarlet says, combing her hair with her long, slender fingers.

Yvie bites the inside of her cheek, not only because she’s trying to stop her eyes from scanning down Scarlet’s body, but because she’s not sure if she wants to talk about her father yet. Her mama has told her not to say a word about him, to just reply that he abandoned them if anyone asks where he is, but there’s something about Scarlet that makes Yvie unable to lie to her.

“We needed the money. It’s been hard since dad left,” she confesses, digging her nails in her thighs. Her dad’s been on the run from the authorities since Yvie can remember, coming back for a day or two after months of radio silence. She hopes one day he can stay with her forever.

Scarlet shoots her a worried glance, focusing her attention on her.

“Oh, darling,” she coos, coming closer to her. Yvie gulps. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.” She does. But she’s not expecting Scarlet to understand it. “Can we talk about something else?” Yvie begs, and Scarlet nods.

“I don’t know if I’ve told you, but you’re like, my only friend,” Scarlet is quick to comment to change the topic. Yvie laughs, not believing her for a second. “For real! The girls my mama makes me hang out with don’t like me. You’re the only one with good taste in this town,” she says, attempting to flip her wet hair over her shoulder with a cocky expression.

Yvie doesn’t laugh this time; she’s heard how men talk about Scarlet in the saloons. Most of the time she can’t believe they are talking about this Scarlet, the one in front of her, with a smile as bright as the sunshine — they say she’s a spoiled brat, impossible to stand, and that if it wasn’t for her fortune, she’d never find a man to marry.

No wonder, men are stupid; Yvie would give up everything she has just to get Scarlet to like her back.

“For the record, I don’t like you,” Yvie deadpans, earning a smack in the arm from Scarlet. “See? You’re violent! Why would anyone like you, Miss Scarlet?”

A loud laugh bubbles in Scarlet’s throat, and Yvie realizes this is the first time she’s heard her laugh so carelessly.

“Oh, shut up, you! I know you love me.” She winks at her, and for a moment Yvie holds her breath. She knows she’s joking, that she doesn’t actually know. But she can’t help the tinge of panic that invades her.

“I absolutely do, that’s why I let you steal my hat whenever you want,” she says with an eye roll, pinching one of Scarlet’s cheeks. What she said isn’t technically a lie, but of course she won’t tell that to Scarlet.

Scarlet softly slaps her hand away, giggling slightly as she sits with her legs crossed, the water covering everything from the neck up.

“Can I tell you something?” She suddenly says, staring intently at Yvie. Yvie bites her lower lip, trying not to jump into conclusions as she nods. Scarlet sighs heavily before speaking. “Promise not to judge, ‘kay?” Scarlet anxiously twirls a strand of her hair around her index finger, and Yvie nods again. “So. You know we moved in a year ago, but do you know why we moved in the first place?”

There have been some rumors surrounding the James family, especially Scarlet, but Yvie knows it’s just things people say. So she shakes her head no.

Scarlet sighs again before continuing, “There was this girl that worked for us, Eileen, and she was just so, so beautiful.” She looks past Yvie, the nostalgia invading her gaze. Yvie’s heart gives a jump, “And I thought- I thought she also felt butterflies in her stomach when we were together.”

Yvie freezes, her brain short-circuiting. She’s not sure if she heard that right, or that she understands what Scarlet is saying. It feels like a dream, and she sure as hell doesn’t want to wake up.

“My parents found out, fired Eileen, and decided we’d move as far as possible, in case Eileen had told anyone.” Scarlet finally pulls her gaze to meet Yvie’s. Yvie’s stomach flips the moment she scoots herself closer, without breaking the eye contact. “So, I must ask you, before you turn into even more of another Eileen and I have to move houses again, to stop saying you love me if you don’t mean it.”

It takes Yvie a full minute to realize what Scarlet just said, and even when the words sink in, she’s unable to believe it. Scarlet is looking at her as if she’s a wounded animal and she’s pleading for mercy; she flinches when Yvie brings a hand to meet hers, so she just leaves her hand hanging halfway.

“I’m not Eileen,” she begins, and almost right away she sees how disappointed Scarlet looks. “I’m Yvie, and unlike Eileen, I do mean it when I say it.”

Scarlet’s eyes grow wide, blinking repeatedly in astonishment, and Yvie slowly tries to reach for her hand again. This time, she doesn’t flinch; instead, she laces her fingers with Yvie’s.

“For real?” Scarlet musters, and Yvie nods with a soft smile.

“For real.”

Yvie shifts her position a little, taking Scarlet’s chin with her free hand and attracting her face to deposit a soft kiss on her lips. Scarlet is surprised for a moment, but soon she follows Yvie’s pace.

They know what they’re doing is dangerous; anyone could run into them and they’d inevitably be hunted down, because in the eyes of the law, this is wrong.

But as Scarlet wraps her arms around Yvie’s neck, pulling her closer and smiling into the kiss, there’s nothing more important in the entire world.

tags: scyvie, scarlet envy, yvie oddly, fluff, lesbian au, wild west au

[sohannabarberaesque]

Moth Mondays with the Funtastic World of Hanna-Barbera: Square Bear of the Hair Bear Bunch

While he may always be the doltish sort among the Wonderland Zoo's ursine cutups and merry pranksters, he at least may have some worthwhile insights as are of Moth quality. Witness this example:

It was just the three of us bears over cappuccino and banana-nut bread at some Venice Beach coffeeshop ... and then she came along.

"She," if you ask, was Penelope Pitstop. You probably recognise her in a way or two as something of a risk-taking sort, especially since Wacky Races.

Not one to get too tacky about her, I have to acknowledge, as much as my other ursine buddies, Hair Bear and Bubi Bear, she looked attractive. Attractive enough to even join us and talk things out. But what made it especially memorable was when Hair mentioned about our Secret Surf and Dive Spot past Malibu, and might she be interested in joining us there some weekend for some surfing and maybe some scuba in the process.

She acknowledged some hesitation, but felt up to it, adding where she was rather cool-looking for a surfer gal ... and in the diving department, she acknowledged a recent weekend on Catalina Island with that Catalina Diving Clowder some of us have been hearing much about of late. And, admittedly, had some kind words for the feline diving septette, especially the ever-so-charming leader, "Bubbles" by name. Whereupon we brought up the time when a rather snarky juvenile actress by name of "Twinkles Sunshine" was trying to rework one of those sickly predictable Goldilocks films, especially after we bears decided to fill in the role after humans in bear costumes left the production, and did we surprise her! (It turns out that some while later, Twinkles' voice broke and, almost concurrently, the studio went bust.) And in explaining the sheer secrecy of as much our locale as our mission, especially the fact of having to walk about a mile from end of road to the actual spot, Miss Pitstop was quick to admit that she had a Jeep in her repretoire that she could keep some surfboards and dive gear handy.

Not to mention Bubi, in his rather silly way, explain that the experience was basically plein-air, especially sleeping on bedrolls at night. To which Penelope herself acknowledged that such would be alright with her, so long as it wasn't raining all that hard. As well as a willingness to wear a rather sheer-looking bikini for sleep wear as much as surf and dive wear. (She did add that she also had a bright pink wetsuit that might be worth bringing along "just in case," especially if things got rather chilly in the water.)

Three weekends later, and we met up with Penelope and her Jeep close to Venice Beach, leading the way in our Legendary Invisible Motorcycle, adding that she needed to follow us down that particular road  which is otherwise difficult to locate as leads to our Secret Spot. No doubt requiring some especially careful driving along Pacific Coast Highway as much as especially clear hand signals just to make sure. In fact, we had to give a rather decent lead to make sure Penelope Pitstop didn't run too close into us approaching the end of road and the haulout spot for her gear ... and even allowing for about two miles' round trip walking, I couldn't believe just how much she could require, even when some diving came into the plan. Which, considering some flat (almost micro) waves that weekend, was what it practically amounted to--an extended diving weekend, not to mention some frolicking around in the surf when it came high tide.

If you can believe it ... Miss Pitstop thought it might be worth it not to wear that trademark crash helmet of hers. And what a hairdo she had, which was almost certain to stand out in the reefs offshore, as if her pink bikini wasn't gorgeous enough a distraction! Even with the want of waves, the diving was certain to be rather impressive allowing for some mild water temperatures at the time. And Miss Pitstop admitted that it certainly was, especially when pointing out some sea lions playing away in a rock reef some 20 feet down ... and for some reason, one such sea lion couldn't help but become impressed with Penelope Pitstop underwater that their noses were nuzzling rather close; we couldn't believe the impression such engendered....

All in all, sensing that the surfing might not be all that worthwhile, diving turned out to be the order of that weekend. And over fried sand dabs, you couldn't believe the diving tales Penelope Pitstop "herself" shared, adding that she actually had a soft spot in her tomboyish heart for diving more so than rally racing. Especially with one particular experience in some lake up in northern Minnesota where she decided to try some freediving in a modestly-deep lake ... she just couldn't resist the feeling of serious release she felt underwater, such waters being remarkably clear and refreshing. (And did I mention where she was naked as well?) As for our discovering diving, we explained that this former "Twinkles Sunshine," whose real last name is Barberanna, I believe, inspired us. It turned out she had a rather substantial trust fund from her film career, as much as life insurance left by her parents after they were killed in an auto accident, which she could draw upon after procuring emancipation from stepparents who saw that she might find some release from the past in surfing and diving ... and we picked up some pointers on surfing and diving that way, even to the extent of her helping select that which became our Secret Surf and Dive Spot.

If it's too flat to surf, then what harm is there in killing the time diving just to compensate? That, you could say, was the takeaway from such a weekend most wonderful.

"... and that's the story from The Moth"

(The preceding is an independent fanfic feature having no official connexion or association with The Moth. For more information, please to visit their website ... and tune in to The Moth Radio Hour weekends on your local public radio station; check your local radio listings for the day and time.)

[omniversalobservations]

On Tuesday, four Ringer staffers assembled in the company’s studio to draft imaginary movie characters and debate how well their imaginary teams would fare in imaginary battles with each other. Deputy editor Mallory Rubin was ruled the victor by judges Jason Concepcion and David Shoemaker, but not without controversy. So, the team managers and one of our judges have gathered here to defend their choices. We’ve also included teams selected by other staffers, who had the privilege of selecting any heroes on the board, as well as some of the best teams submitted by our readers.

***

Jason Concepcion: Mallory had the strongest team and I ruled as such. Amanda’s team gave Mal some matchup problems, it’s true. But ultimately, that’s not enough to swing the outcome. The Flash can get Magneto’s helmet off before the Master of Magnetism can even comprehend what’s happening. Then Professor X shuts him down, and Doomsday and Silver Surfer go in and clean up. I’m aggrieved that certain people (i.e., the people who I will not name and who designed this system, which included numerous misclassified heroes and an unfortunate punctuation error pertaining to Dark Phoenix) who don’t understand comic books, or really how a fantasy draft should be run, disagree with this decision. But it is correct and it is final.

Mallory Rubin, a.k.a. The Ringer’s Superhero Draft Champion: I’m tempted to just say “Scoreboard” and leave it at that, but despite what the violently competitive tenor of Tuesday’s live draft might have indicated, I’m a team player! While I will not be goaded into relitigating this entire process—a process that left me with a metaphorical crown on my head and very real pride in my heart—I’ll gladly [extremely Binge Mode voice] offer a brief refresher on what actually transpired when I built my team.

Here’s my victorious squad, presented in the order in which it was drafted:

Round 1: Iron Man (No Powers) Round 2: Doomsday (Villain) Round 3: Professor X (Born With Powers) Round 4: The Flash (Acquired Powers) Round 5: Silver Surfer (Cosmic Powers)

I’d like to quickly stress the “order in which it was drafted” point: It’s really dope that a bunch of Ringer staffers, viewers, and readers are getting in on the fun by constructing their own teams; it’s worth remembering, though, that they can do so absent competition. Picking against three other people in a live snake draft introduced a crucial variable into our shared experience: unpredictability. And so I attempted to account for that by crafting a strategy built on the power of scarcity.

Cosmic Powers is loaded, undeniably the deepest group of the bunch. Why take a character from that category no. 1 overall (cough, Chris Ryan) when you can wait and still get great value there in Round 5? Conversely, I identified early in my draft prep that the No Powers bunch was a wasteland, far and away the weakest in the game. I knew that if I got the clear top pick in that field, I’d be as well positioned as I was after selecting second baseman José Altuve in the first round of one of my 2017 fantasy baseball drafts.

And so I took Iron Man, whose riches, brilliance, technological capabilities (Hulkbuster, my dudes!), leadership, and battle experience made him great value regardless, and exceptional value given the putrid state of the No Powers field. I got Gronk in a tight end pool full of Ben Watsons.

In hindsight, I have only one real regret about how I argued my case at the end of Tuesday’s draft, as the coffee exited my bloodstream, the room of formerly cherished colleagues turned against me, and Amanda attempted to blind judges and viewers alike with her team’s sexiness. A large portion of Amanda’s argument, the judges’ (brief) support of her team, and Chris’s pro-Amanda betrayal of yours truly hinged on Batman’s plot armor, a.k.a. the belief that he’d figure out a way to beat my team, because he always figures out a way. Yet Amanda had already thrown her star game-day player under the bus, saying on Tuesday, “I was going to take Iron Man, so I think I’ll just take poor man’s Iron Man and go with Batman.”

A large portion of the pro-Amanda sentiment also more correctly hinged on Magneto, an undeniably formidable foe. But as soon as I drafted Professor X, who bafflingly fell to the third round despite being the clear top pick in the Born With Powers category (the second weakest of the five fields), I knew I’d need to account for the Magneto Problem other teams would try to use against me. That’s why I pivoted to selecting the Flash despite the availability of other characters, like Captain America, whom I’d ranked above him in Acquired Powers. This draft didn’t exist in a vacuum; I had to react not only to the team I was building, but to the teams others were building. Worried that Magneto will turn Iron Man into a tin can or render Charles irrelevant? I’ve got my dude Barry Allen on the case: Before Magneto could even think to act, Flash would rip off his protective helmet, and feeble Erik would bend to Professor X’s will or get absolutely crushed by Iron Man or Doomsday (my choice!). And if the unthinkable occurs and I lose? Barry runs into the past. New game, new day, new hope. The Flash gives me a fail-safe.

The moment when I knew I’d won the draft came long before Amanda selected Magneto or I chose the Flash, though: It came at the end of Round 1, when ALL three of my foes had selected someone from Cosmic Powers, the most stacked category. They couldn’t select another character from that field, meaning I had the luxury of waiting until my final pick to target my CP player—who happened to be my no. 1 pick in that category and no. 2 player overall (again, for the purposes of this draft, where Iron Man earned my top ranking because of how I valued scarcity).

Silver Surfer is not here for your bullshit. His Fantastic Four cinematic presence might not have wowed you, but he’s a true force. He wields the power cosmic, can manipulate the universe's energies, can scale his strength, and is almost indestructible. If (perish the thought!) the Flash falters, Silver Surfer’s got that time-travel shit on lock. His surfboard also becomes a lot less silly when you realize he can control it with his mind. Oh, and he can absorb energy from anything, meaning he can pull (and has pulled!) the radiation out of Hulk, rendering him moot. The same principle applies to Superman, who, again, went no. 1 overall in our draft. My guy might be a little moody, but last time I checked, emotional fortitude was never Jean Grey’s or Batman’s strength.

Ultimately, in a 20-player draft, I wound up with three of my top four overall players (no. 1 Iron Man, no. 2 Silver Surfer, no. 4 Doomsday) and four of my top 10 (no. 8 Professor X). The only character I selected from outside of my personal top 10 was the Flash (no. 18), who provided such undeniable strategic value for my team that he elevated above his station. (Also, I know this is about movies, but TV Barry is really dope. Come at me, CW haters!)

As Professor X says, “I don't want your suffering! I don't want your future!” I want my future: The one where my team easily wins.

Micah Peters: Let’s set aside for a moment the fact that Blade, the movie Blade, the one that I was talking about, was born to a mother who was bitten by a vampire and therefore was—per the parameters that were agreed upon—Born With Powers. I can’t control the way the draft goes, but I can pick the most wild cards without obvious weaknesses beyond Not As Brawny As The Hulk or Superman. We don’t need to win a whole final series, we just need to frustrate the other team into a loss for a single game (fight). Take, for instance, Doctor Strange, who was tremendously undervalued, for reasons not lost on me. It’s not Benedict Cumberbatch’s fault that his name and face are so funny, but I assure you Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange is no joke. His powers include: … literally any and everything you can think of, and some other things you probably can’t. Matter and energy manipulation, interdimensional travel, mental possession, all of that. He is also technically immortal.

I’ll admit that War Machine was mainly for coverfire. But Black Panther? Also not a whole lot of weaknesses to speak of. In fact, the only way to beat him is for him to know nothing about you, which isn’t exceedingly possible. If anything could, at any point, be a threat to Wakanda—which includes everything inside of and outside of its borders, in whichever universe—then he’s researched a way to neutralize it. Or kill it, which he’s willing to do. The only reason that Captain America and Batman have thicker plot armor is because they’re canonically white, it’s just that no one likes to say so. As for General Zod, he’s just here because you still need someone to go toe-to-toe with the Class 100 dudes while TWO OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE figure out the rest.

Chris Ryan: It feels weird to defend drafting Bryce Harper, LeBron James, and J.J. Watt, but here we are. I thought that picking mutli-tool players from traditionally powerful superhero programs (X-Men, Avengers, Justice League) would put me in a good position to win. I thought the draft more as a popularity contest, or drafting heroes I'd like to fight with (for the most part), and less like a Dungeons & Dragons game that involved a lot of planning for weaknesses. [Andy Reid voice] That's on me. I have to be a better general manager.

Amanda Dobbins: As previously discussed, I have seen 15-20 superhero movies out of professional obligation and have otherwise never sought out the content in any form. That said, I know a star when I see one—and as luck would have it, the true superhero stars are the ones that win the battle at the end of the movie. So my strategy was simple: pick the cool ones, and the rest will follow. Wonder Woman is a no-brainer in this context; Gal Gadot’s Diana is the only superhero character who has ever made me tear up, and her comic timing is impeccable. (Also, Greek mythology–related superheroes >> all other superheroes.) I wanted Iron Man but had to settle for Batman, the least bad option in that lame category. Magneto was played by Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender in a turtleneck, so that’s a layup. I like Chris Evans. And finally, I picked Jean Grey because my friend Sean Fennessey told me she was a good mutant, and I didn’t feel like investigating further. Thank you for your support. My team should have won. Staff Teams

Jack McCluskey:

No Powers: Iron Man Acquired Powers: Spider-Man Cosmic Powers: Wonder Woman Born With Powers: Professor X Villain: The Joker

My superhero team has it all:

- young energy (Peter Parker is best as a fast-talking teen, and you know it); - earned wisdom (Charles Xavier’s been around a while, has seen everything, and can teach the next generation a thing or two); - righteous power (Wonder Woman, duh; haven’t you seen the no-man’s-land scene?); - deep pockets (between the glowering Bruce Wayne and the wisecracking Tony Stark, I’ll take the funny, brilliant inventor any day); - and pure, unadulterated chaos (as Alfred says in The Dark Knight, “Some men just want to watch the world burn”).

In this scenario, Professor X is the one calling the shots, Iron Man is the one financing and outfitting the team, Wonder Woman is the straight-ahead superhero focused on the task at hand, Spider-Man is making cracks and occasionally screwing up (as kids do), and everyone is trying to rein in the Joker, who is constantly undermining everything because he just can’t help himself. (He just wants to put a smile on that face, after all. And, yes, Heath Ledger is the Joker now and forever, amen.) Technological prowess, agility, power, brains, and unpredictability make for a potent (and entertaining) package.

Danny Chau:

No Powers: Batman Acquired Powers: The Flash Cosmic Powers: Thor Born With Powers: Iceman Villain: Apocalypse

My superhero team is actually built around my villain, Apocalypse, which means I have, for the first time in many years, successfully established an inverted pyramid.

The construction is centered around two of Apocalypse's powers: external energy absorption, and power enhancement. Thor is the God of Thunder, one of the most powerful heroes in the Marvel universe; on my team, he’s a handsome battery. The Flash is so fast he created the Speed Force, an otherworldly dimension that doubles as the source of his power; on my team, he is simply the liaison to a successful merger between the Speed Force and Apocalypse. Bruce Wayne is super smart and super rich, I’m sure he’d be able to figure out a way to augment Apocalypse’s power even further. That’s Phase 1.

Phase 2 involves Apocalypse’s ability to amplify the powers of other mutants. The classic read on Iceman is that he’s a font of untapped potential—the Kwame Brown of the X-Men. But imagine if Michael Jordan didn’t verbally abuse Kwame at every Wizards practice and instead was like, “Hey rook, let me give you all of my talent and indefatigable will to embarrass my competition.” Iceman is categorized as an Omega, the most powerful class of mutant there is. And with a nudge from Apocalypse, Iceman ought to be able to freeze all life across both cinematic universes.

Michael Baumann:

No Powers: Batman Acquired Powers: Winter Soldier Cosmic Powers: Silver Surfer Born With Powers: Professor X Villain: Magneto

The one must-have on this team is Magneto, who is the most righteous of superhero villains, and has shown he can work well with the good guys under the right circumstances. My hero with cosmic powers is the Silver Surfer, because Superman—an immortal being who has the power of flight, X-ray vision, and unlimited strength and stamina, and is literally called Superman—is the dumbest creation in the history of superheroes, if not all of narrative fiction. I don’t care how popular or powerful he is, I won’t have him on my team. Give me the guy who can travel faster than light and convert matter to energy and whose creation required more imagination than “God with a pair of neoprene briefs.”

Because Silver Surfer can do so much of the heavy lifting, I don’t, strictly speaking, need an ass-kicker on this team, which means I can carry Professor X, who can temper Magneto’s more destructive impulses and literally read minds, which also obviates the need for a sneaky reconnaissance person like Kitty Pryde, Nightcrawler, or Spider-Man. That means Winter Soldier doesn’t really fill a need, but the Acquired Powers category is light on people who do, unless you go with Reed Richards or the Hulk, and I worry about those two causing chemistry problems with Professor X and Magneto. There’s such a thing as too much brainpower.

Clearly you want a superhero who can harness the only cosmic force that eludes the Silver Surfer—capitalism—but why Batman and not Iron Man? So why the Winter Soldier, and not Deadpool or Captain America? The answer there is also chemistry: The team I’ve created is composed entirely of sad people. If Iron Man or Deadpool is in there cracking jokes or Spider-Man’s giving off his annoying teenage energy, that act is just going to annoy the rest of the team. Better to go full Listening To Nothing But Julien Baker, just so everyone’s on the same page.

Andrew Gruttadaro:

No Powers: Iron Man Acquired Powers: The Flash Cosmic Powers: Star-Lord Born With Powers: Wolverine Villain: Loki

What are we building a team for, exactly? Are we to assume the goal is global domination? Well, I’m a pacifist, so I’d rather build a team based on who would actually be decent to hang out with. In which case, look at that murderer’s row of fun personalities above. (Well, besides the very emotionally damaged Wolverine, but every crew needs a dark friend.) Can you imagine the witty banter these five would dish out? Star-Lord and Loki would get into a funny argument about galaxies, Wolverine would brood in the corner, and when Peter Quill inevitably compares himself to the Cars (or something), the Flash could chime in with a classic “I wasn’t even born yet” quip. And Iron Man could foot the whole bill—it’d be a great Friday night.

Also, for the sake of argument, I think these guys would put up a pretty good fight if any other superhero teams stepped to us.

Daniel Chin:

No Powers: Batman Acquired Powers: Hulk Cosmic Powers: Green Lantern Born With Powers: Phoenix Villain: Magneto

Every team needs its leader, and Batman is one of the smartest guys out there. The world’s greatest detective would have an answer for anything, and he’d be able to devise a plan that’d utilize each of his teammates to their fullest potentials. Like a young Steve Nash, this guy would bring the best out of everyone else’s games.

Hulk, a.k.a. “The Strongest Avenger,” is a wild card, no doubt, but his upside outweighs the risk. Put him toe to toe with any of the other big bodies on this list, and I’d bet money on the angry green guy every single time. His unparalleled strength makes him a worthy team member.

Green Lantern was a terrible, terrible movie, but that doesn’t stop him from being the ultimate utility man. Just like Ben Zobrist, put this guy anywhere in the field, and he’s going to come up with results. That shiny ring of his allows him to create anything his mind is capable of thinking up, whether it be a shield to protect one of his teammates or, I don’t know, a massive rock to drop on any of his enemies.

To not have a telepath on your team—someone who could rip apart the opposition by just getting in their heads (like Draymond Green)—would be a little foolish, I must say. Phoenix is the most powerful one in the X-Men universe. I do, however, wonder what she would do to this team’s already suspect chemistry. After all, she did kill the love of her life and disintegrate the guy who practically raised her. But, like Hulk, I think I’m gonna roll the dice on this one.

Lastly, Magneto provides the defense for this team. Not only does his helmet protect him from anybody trying to do some Jedi mind tricks on him, but Magneto (you guessed it) can manipulate metal. So if a member of your squad has any of that on him or her whatsoever—say maybe the man named after iron—then it’s already over. Oh, your team has Wolverine? Dope. With him anchoring down this All-Star lineup, no way any other stands a chance.

Kate Halliwell:

No Powers: Ant-Man Acquired Powers: The Flash Cosmic Powers: Silver Surfer Born With Powers: Professor X Villain: Hela

Professor X is an obvious choice from not only a powers-based standpoint, but from a leadership one. He can unite even the most ragtag team through sheer wisdom and charisma, and if that doesn’t work, well … he’s got the whole mind-control thing on lock. This one’s a given.

The Flash is an underrated ultra-powerful superhero, mainly because people tend to diminish his powers by saying he just “runs really fast.” Barry Allen can run *so* fast, he’s able to travel back in time. Imagine that awesome Quicksilver X-Men movie scene, but with the added benefit of time travel. Yep, Barry’s in.

The Silver Surfer’s powers are arguably limitless. While the technicalities of his powers tend to vary based on comic-vs.-screen interpretations, the consensus seems to be that he can at least travel across the galaxy, destroying (or healing) planets and peoples at will. In the better-forgotten Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, it’s established that his only weakness is his board—without it, he loses access to most of his powers. But as long as we get him one of those surfboard-ankle connector things, dude is unbeatable.

Ant-Man may seem like the dead weight of the group, but in his solo Ant-Man film, it’s explained that using Hank Pym’s shrinking technology, Ant-Man can shrink between molecules and access the quantum realm, where space and time cease to follow the rules of nature. If anyone can help Scott figure out how to best wield this power, it’s Professor X. Also, you know, Paul Rudd’s one-liners will be good for morale.

Hela is a risky choice, but not when you’ve also got Professor X on the squad. As demonstrated by Scarlet Witch in Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor is as susceptible as anyone to mind control. Since Hela is an Asgardian like her brother, there’s no reason to think Professor X couldn’t easily keep her in line. The Goddess of Death took down Thor, Loki, all of the Valkyrie, and thousands of Asgardian soldiers. Also, she looks like Cate Blanchett. I see no downsides here.

Source: The Ringer

(images via Twitter)

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

Star Sightings: Kim Kardashian Steps Out for Ice Cream, Octavia Spencer Hosts Education Event!

It was a pretty sweet day for the Kardashian family!

Kim Kardashian West and Kourtney Kardashian spent the day at the Museum of Ice Cream in Los Angeles, California on May 11, bringing along their little ones for a day of sprinkles, popsicles and fun.

Kourtney and daughter Penelope certainly enjoyed the museum's iconic life-size sprinkle pool, while Kim and daughter North took a call in the bubblegum pink room. It appeared the group was filming the visit for season 14 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, so we'll have to wait and see if fans will get more of their adventures there!

Earlier in the month, The Real hosts Jeannie Mai, Adrienne Bailon-Houghton and Loni Love all posed in celebration of DeLeón Tequila's Cinco de Mayo bash at the Doheny Room in West Hollywood, California. Joining the group of gals in a stylish red hat was Mai's mom. Guests sipped on DeLeón Tequila’s specialty cocktail, "Mexican Mule," during the event.

On May 6, Octavia Spencer posed with gal pal Amy Schumer while hosting City Year Los Angeles' 7th annual Spring Break: Destination Education fundraiser in Los Angeles, California. The event, which supports education in L.A., attracted a star-studded crowd including Mel B, Jennifer Garner and Pharrell Williams.

Charley Gallay | Getty Images for City Year Los Angeles

Moonlight star Mahershala Ali also came out to support the cause and was spotted sharing a laugh with City Year AmeriCorps members. There was no shortage of entertainment either, with a performance from OneRepublic.

Charley Gallay | Getty Images for City Year Los Angeles

That same day, "Bom Bidi Bom" singer Nick Jonas proudly showed his support at the Beyond Type 1 cocktail party at Avenue LA in Los Angeles, California. The 24-year-old artist, who is a Type 1 diabetic, gave a touching speech about his personal experience with diabetes at the event just before jetting to Bloomingdale's in New York City, where he hosted an exclusive in-store launch of the Nick Jonas x Altec Lansing headphone and speaker collaboration.

Startracks

Elsewhere in the Big Apple, Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted at the annual J/P Haitian Relief Organization Gala with founder and friend Senn Penn at Sotheby's in NYC earlier this month. The event, co-hosted by Gayle King, was topped with performances by Damien Rice and Andra Day, who performed her hit song, "Rise Up." Naomi Campbell, Ellie Goulding, Andy Cohen and Donna Karan were also on hand to support the organization's newest initiative, "Haiti Takes Root," which benefits reforestation following Hurricane Matthew.

Theo Wargo/Getty Images

It was a champagne-soaked Kentucky Derby party this year with Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt! The sprinter was also appointed as the Chief Entertainment Officer by G.H. Mumm's official Derby champagne, Maison Mumm. In his first mission as CEO, Bolt hijacked the Mumm corporate headquarters in New York City to throw a dapper affair.

Getty Images for G.H. Mumm

Getty Images for G.H. Mumm

Models Nina Agdal and Chanel Iman attended the soiree, while Chelsea Leyland spun an epic dance hall set behind the DJ booth.

On May 9, E! celebrated the launch of its latest series, What Happens at The Abbey, by hosting a private happy hour at the show's featured bar, The Abbey Food & Bar in West Hollywood, California.

David Cooley, the owner of the iconic bar, and E! president Adam Stotsky also joined the festive gathering.

Cast member and Abbey VIP server Billy Reilich and co-star Ashlee Lian were later spotted chatting with Stotsky at the party.

What Happens at The Abbey airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on E!

Life is good for 37-year-old comedian Kevin Hart, who recently revealed on Instagram that he and wife Eniko Parrish are expecting a boy, While in Monte Carlo, he announced his partnership with PokerStars, the biggest online gaming company in the world. "I'm going to make poker sexy, cool and fun for all... while also using it to help worthy charitable causes," the actor said.

PokerStars

Netflix's Master of None star Aziz Ansari had quite the family affair for the show's season two premiere at the SVA Theatre in New York City on Friday. The 34-year-old producer sweetly walked the red carpet with his mother, Fatima Ansari, his father, Shoukath Ansari, and his brother, Aniz Ansari -- who are all are involved in the production of the series. Also on hand were cast members Danielle Brooks, Alessandra Mastronardi, Lena Waithe, Eric Wareheim and Kevin Yu as well as guests Adrienne C. Moore, Janet Mock and Annie Parisse. Following the screening, the party continued at The Top of the Standard with sliders and to-go boxes with the show’s logo.

Michael Loccisano | Getty Images for Netflix

Actress Darby Stanchfield was all smiles in New York City while promoting her new Pure Leaf documentary, Journey With a Tea Master, highlighting the brand's authentic process behind its home-brewed teas.

Michael Simon

Soon-to-be mom Whitney Port was glowing while stepping out of 1 Hotel Central Park in New York City.

Kim Mufferi

Kim Mufferi

The Hills alum later filled out special Mother's Day cards to send to loved ones while wearing an All Saints’ Philly Denim Jacket.

Sophia Bush looked classy at the Listerine #unlockyourbold Launch Party in New York City.

Michael Simon

Meanwhile, back in California, Bella Thorne kicked off fashion-fitness retailer SIX:02’s "Thank You" campaign, celebrating unapologetic women. The 19-year-old Famous in Love actress rocked a camo printed sports bra and slit-knee track pants.

Michael Simon

Pro-surfer Anastasia Ashley teamed up with Aloe Gloe to host its #GloeFromWithin summer sweepstakes launch event in Venice Beach, California.

Michael Simon

Thanks to Zyrtec, allergy sufferer Jordana Brewster was able to head outdoors for a workout in Los Angeles, California.

Michael Simon

Brooke Burke-Charvet prepped for National Women's Health Week with some of her workout necessities including Poise Impressa at Playlist Yoga in West Hollywood, California.

Michael Simon

Marlon Wayans got silly with the laugh-activated vending machine for M&M'S Red Nose Day at Walgreens in Los Angeles, California. The campaign raises awareness and donations to help children in need.

Michael Simon

Cheers to these moms! Jaime King, Laura Dern and Ali Larter gathered at Geoffrey Zakarian's Georgie at Montage Beverly Hills for Perrier-Jouët's Mother’s Day celebration.

Getty Images for Perrier-Jouët

Getty Images for Perrier-Jouët

The blonde bombshells were spotted toasting to motherhood with a glass of Belle Époque Rosé in hand, while King and Larter gleefully chatted about upcoming projects and their special Mother's Day plans.