#silly drawing on my body always gonna b cool

[tamagotchikgs]

can i admit smthn ive always kinda , expected that if i get tattoos i will inevitably regret one at some point but it doesnt seem like an issue 2 me? just like yea ok whatever i might circle back 2 liking it someday either way id still b cooler w them than without

[coneyislandbabey]

time to play b-sides. -> w.rojas

WARNINGS: none! Maybe a little bit for post-band break up sadness.

SYNOPSIS: you and Warren pick up the pieces after the band falls apart. word count: 1,140

NOTES: hell must've frozen over, if I'm posting something new lol. I'm tentative to say that I'm back, but for now enjoy this short scene I wrote to get the rojas juices flowing again!

You loved Warren more than anything else in the world. The only thing that even came close to second– for yourself and for him– was the band, the music. It lived in your heart right beside the place where your longtime boyfriend resided. The band was what had brought the two of you together in the first place: you met when you auditioned to fill their need for a bass player; it was on stage at a gig the first time that you realized your feelings for the drummer extended beyond platonic; you had found the courage to be honest about how you felt through a song you wrote and shared with Warren. In turn, he had realized he loved you when he first saw you stand up to a heckler on stage; he had asked you to officially be his girlfriend while riding the high of The Six’s first record release; he felt schoolgirl-giddy every time he watched you perform from behind his drum kit. 

The band was very dear to you both. And it was gone. 

You stood in the Chicago hotel room you and Warren had checked into a few days ago, after everything went down, your bare shoulder pressed to the cool glass of the window. The city spread out below you, lights winking cheerfully in the night. You had seen dozens of cities in the past few years, but Chicago was easily a favorite. Or– rather, it had been, before the ugly memory of recent events had attached itself to the place. 

A warm hand closed around your bicep, rubbing soothingly up and down your bare skin and rousing you out of your stupor. You turned to face the man you loved, his soft smile, the whiskey brown of his eyes so clouded with both sadness and affection. You let him draw your body towards his own, his large hands on both of your arms anchoring you to that hotel room, that night, and not the memories of the concert at Soldier Field which you had lately been having so much trouble pulling yourself from. 

“It’s gonna pass, mama,” Warren said, his voice so gentle it nearly sent your heart breaking all over again. 

“It doesn’t feel like it ever will,” you admitted in return, blinking back the sudden burn of tears. You wondered where the rest of your bandmates were at that second, if they felt as gutted as you, if they were wallowing or if they were forgetting already. 

Warren’s hands traveled up your arms, skimming across your neck before landing on your cheeks, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. He drew your face to his, pressing his lips to your forehead and keeping them there. 

“It hurts,” he said after a stretch of comfortable silence. You brought your hand up to his chest, right over his heart as if you could mend the ache just in doing so. You thought that maybe the most painful thing about the entire situation was having to see what it did to Warren. 

“It’ll hurt a little less everyday,” you reasoned, trying to be a bit more positive for him. Trying desperately to believe even a word of what you’d just said. 

“True,” he hummed against your skin. “And we didn’t lose everything, did we? We didn’t lose each other.”

“We never would lose each other,” you said, the words coming out with an unwavering finality as you looked up at him. “The band was– we gave it our all. It was my passion, my creativity, but you have always been everything. You’ve always been my heart, Warren, and you always will be, even in a world where The Six doesn’t exist.”

Warren wrapped his arms around your waist, his grin hidden in your hair, and you fought back the butterflies erupting energetically in your stomach. It made you feel silly, just how much every little thing he did affected you, even after all this time. It made you feel perfect. 

“I love you,” he said, the simple words spoken brushed up against the shell of your ear. “Never once did I think that the band was my future; I always thought that you were my future. Bands break up all the time, you know? Fade into obscurity. But you’re just… Well, you’re just part of me now. I’ll never doubt that.”

You turned your head towards him, grinning. The vice that had been gripping your heart since Soldier Field seemed to lessen, just a little. The dimness that had tinged life lately brightened at the promise of forever with Warren. 

“Good. ‘Sides,” you said, shrugging, “now we’ve got all the time in the world to do whatever the two of us want to. No more fighting over what happens with The Six or getting shunted aside or any of the rest of it. Just us.”

“Just us,” Warren echoed. “Best thing being in that band did for us was make us so fucking loaded that we really can do whatever we want.”

You laughed at his joke, shaking your head ruefully. “And whatever do you want to do this evening, Mr. Rojas?”

Warren rubbed his hands up and down from your hips to your ribs, eyes far off as he pretended to think hard about the question. 

“This evening, I want to put on that record you bought me last week, and eat room service naked in this luxurious ass bed,” he said finally, and you grinned.

“On it,” you announced, twisting out of his grip to get to the phone. You plucked the receiver off of the cradle, landing on your stomach on said luxurious ass bed. As the phone connected you to the lobby, Warren came up behind you, laughing as he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down your legs. 

You put in your room service order quickly and hung up the phone, turning over to face him. “At least put the record on before you get me naked, War.”

“As you wish,” he mockingly bowed, before picking up the record you’d recently gotten him and setting it up on the turntable on the other side of the room. The first notes of Talking Heads’ Uh-Oh, Love Comes to Town filled the space as he made his way back over to you, flopping down on the bed with a sigh. Immediately, he wrapped an arm around your waist and tugged you across the duvet until you were flush against him. 

You closed your eyes, settling your cheek against his chest. You let the music wash over you, focused on the steady rise and fall rhythm of Warren’s breath, the tempo of his heartbeat. Things were different, but they were not desolate. Everything that ever meant anything was right there in that room with you.

[ranposgirlboss]

~HCS FROM MY BOOK!!-PART ONE~

THIS IS MULTIFANDOM!! also most of these are either slander or made for being a silly joke <333 so please don't take this seriously

fandoms: genshin impact, bungou stray dogs, and honkai impact

genre: fluff, slander, and sillies (it progressively gets less and less serious)

enjoy my shitty hcs from like a year ago <333 (they are actually older lol) ALSO ARE EXTREMELY SHORT SINCE IM LITERALLY JUST TAKING WHAT I WROTE WITHOUT CHANGING IT AND PUTTING IT OVER ON HERE LMAOASBHJAS (there's only so much space on paper </3)

chara list!!: albedo, kazuha, xiao, diluc, heizou, fu hua (sentience), scaramouche, aponia, dazai, ranpo, poe, ANDDD nikolai!!

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS!!

ALBEDO

-"its all for an experiment" he says

-lil bitch ok sure

-probably gonna study what this feeling is when he holds your hand and "why he feels so warm on the inside"

-acts like he doesnt care that much but bros probably gonna draw yall holding hands like a 13 year old drawing in her diary 💀

KAZUHA

-i love him but

-probably would make a poem about how your hand feels 😭

-he would be so cute tho ngl

-i mean just as always but also like

-please hold his hand he just loves you so much and along with words of affirmation physical contact seems to be his thing

-UGH MARRY ME

XIAO

-"wow y/n when you hold my hand the voices cease their calls for me to go to taco bell, thank you y/n."

-TAKE ME HIGHH AND ILL SINGGGG YOU MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY OHKAY OHKAY OHKAY (if you know that song here's your free kiss <33)

-and then you get married the end

-W H Y D I D I W R I T E T H I S B Y E -

DILUC

-could give less of a shit

-but for the sake of being a gentleman he says thank you and then continues bat manning sillily.

HEIZOU

-"y/n holding hands is cool but i think we should start an investigation of how fast we could make it to my place ;)"

-KILL YOURSELF. (please dont lead the way my silly detective <33)

-this gif makes me want to impulsively eat vanilla cake.

FU HUA

-YAAAATTAAAAA

-*holds hand* look at the beautiful sight ahead of us Y/N! no i did not make that fire-"

-fu hua arsonist era

APONIA

-MOMMY bjnEBHEKHBWJSK

-"y/n holding hands is great but why don't we open our arms and eyes to god"

DAZAI

-I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY BSD READERS WHO HAVE TO SCROLL THIS FAR JUST TO GET THIS SILLy

-"i can always hold more then your hand~"

-a flirty bitch, but yall got chuuya knocking on your door asking you to "control your dog"

-ironic how chuuya is the one who says that

RANPO

-UGH I LOVE MY SKRUNKLE DOODLE PUSH POP SILLY SKRUNKLY CRUNKLY MUMPLY SILLY (yes i wrote that WORD. FOR. WORD.)

-will hold your hand for payments

-affection?? candy??? candys nuts fit in your mouth because they sure are about to <33 (i want to erase what i write sometimes)

-gets so happy omg

-not only does he have candy, you, but NOW he gets to hold your hand too>!1/!?!?

-wow he might as well steal from a candy store at this point

-might as well

-he swears it was an accident

POE

-poe held your hand with such sweetness, care, tenderness, love, and affection

-karl pulls up in his Mazarati, ready to throw hands once and for all, how DARE someone get more attention then karl

-poe has some explaining to do

-(i wonder how high i was when i wrote these)

-(i think i was 5'5)

NIKOLAI ( I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE)

-so you go to hold his hand in y/n fashion

-suddenly you almost get hit by a bus

-"shit my bad wrong item"

-you stare in utter confusion at the bus as it suddenly vanishes like a fucking mob from minecraft or some shit

-nikolai god arc confirmed real

-so anyways you suddenly feel warmth on your hand on you see another fucking hand gripping yours but its literally just the hand detached from the body

-you are extremely scared and concerned why there's another hand gripping yours out of nowhere but with nikolai anything is possible so you just accept it and hold his hand back

-he giggles and nikolais away with the hand still holding yours

-(I ASKED HOW HIGH I WAS WHEN I WROTE THE LAST ONE BUT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE.)

----------------------------------

the voices

ALOS THNAK YOU FOR READING THIS PIECE OF SHIT IM SORRY. SHE WAS ME FROM A YEAR AGO I DONT KNOW HER 😭

alos my reqs are always open

I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TAGS

[worldwidemochiguy]

expectation ≠ reality (18+)

When you first met Jungkook, he was so kind, with wide eyes and a sweet smile, but soon enough he dragged you into a tumultuous marriage where you were barely allowed to draw breath on your own. But, when you meet Taehyung, the cute delivery boy with blond hair and a penchant for flirting, you start to wonder if you’ve found your second chance.

Masterlist

Warnings: Yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour, slight dub-con, graphic penetrative sex, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR pls im not tryna get arrested or anything

Word Count: 4K 

a/n: thanks to @gucieguciekook​ for requesting !! hope u enjoy lol <3

Expectation ≠ Reality

You have had enough.

From the moment you agreed to marry him, Jungkook had been getting steadily worse and worse. He had always been possessive to a fault, but you mistakenly saw it as a sign he truly cared and treasured you. You cooed over his obsession with littering hickeys all over your neck, blushed when he called you ‘Mine. Only mine.’ When he asked you to move in way too quickly, you thought it was a sign he was committed to your relationship.

How wrong you were.

Not that he isn’t committed, of course. God, if there was ever a word to describe Jeon Jungkook, it was committed. He is obsessed with you. He slowly started cutting you off from the outside world, persuading you to stay in when your friends invited you out, and convincing you they were terrible people when they inevitably stopped interacting with you. You had cut out everyone else in your life because of him. 

Your parents:

babe, they don’t approve of our relationship because they don’t want you to be happy with your own life, they want to control you and treat you like a kid. you don’t need them anyway, you have me. 

Your coworkers:

i called in sick for you today, babe. you don’t need to go there anymore, i have more than enough money for the both of us. 

Even your pet:

your cat? oh, i’m sorry baby, she got hit by a car. no, don’t cry, baby, now you can give all of your attention to me instead of that rancid furball. 

Jungkook had isolated you and exhausted you to the point where you agreed to marry him, convinced it could not make your life any worse. 

Again, you were wrong. 

With his ring on now your finger, Jungkook is even more assured of his ownership of you. You are no longer allowed to cook or go into the garden, both deemed as dangerous activities where you could somehow be harmed by a vegetable peeler, or maybe grass cuttings. You have no access to the internet, and the only books you are permitted to read are simple, dull books with no plot or dusty old historical text books, obviously the only things Jungkook is certain wouldn’t give you ‘silly ideas to confuse your pretty little head.’ 

~~~~

“Jungkook,” You murmur, voice muffled as he presses your face into the pillow.

“Yeah, baby, say my name just like that.” He grunts, attempting to tug off your skirt with one hand while the other is fisted in your hair. You roll your eyes and shift your weight so he can take it off properly. After he had separately ripped all your pants at some point in his haste to take them off you, you had realised it was simply easier to wear something less finicky.

As soon your lower half is bared for him, he starts running his large palms greedily over your skin, for his own benefit rather than yours.

“Fuck, look at you.” He mutters, before digging a thumb into a bruise he had left on your ass. You yelp and he chuckles lowly behind you. Just as you expect, he presses firmly on the bruise and you clench your teeth, burying your nails in your palms and refusing to make a noise. He waits for a second, but you remain stubbornly silent. 

“Huh,” he says, “I guess baby’s pain threshold has risen a bit, yeah?” He strokes a possessive hand between your shoulder blades and you repress a shiver, before he loops his arm around you and lifts you onto your hands and knees.

“I guess I’ll just have to fuck you harder then.” He resolves, before shoving himself into you roughly.

Jungkook is not small, putting it lightly, though you hate to afford any kind of praise to that bastard. He is long, and thick, and you really hadn’t been very turned on at all, just letting him do what he wanted so that he’d leave you alone, so you don’t blame yourself too much when a scream bursts out of your lips. You can barely hear his smug laugh behind you over the burning sensation in your core. He doesn’t give you any time at all to adjust, roughly pumping himself in and out as you try to hold in your whimpers.

“So fucking tight, baby.” He grunts in your ear, punctuating his words with harsh slaps against your thigh, “You sure you can handle my cock?” This is his offer: Admit that I’m hurting you, admit that you’re weak and at my mercy, and I’ll stop. That’s all you have to do.

You clench your teeth and press your face into the pillow again.

He sighs behind you, though you can tell he’s quietly pleased, before pulling out of you and walking away. Him yanking out and leaving you roughly stretched and exposed to the cold air is almost as painful as when he shoved into you in the first place, and when he returns you resent yourself for feeling the slightest hint of relief. 

He is carrying a bottle of lube, normally used for when he decides he wants to fuck your ass instead. You tense up, preparing to swallow your pride and beg him not to — it’s been a while and you’re not sure you can take the pain — but he senses your fear and smirks.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m just gonna make it a bit easier for you.” As he speaks, he’s slicking up his cock and soon enough he’s getting back up on his knees and taking ahold of your hips, pushing himself in slightly gentler this time. 

The coolness of the gel soothes — but doesn’t eradicate — the burn and Jungkook has started to move in long, rolling strokes inside you that are almost pleasant. 

“See, baby?” Jungkook coos as his hands move around to stroke your stomach, “I don’t want to hurt you, you have to know that. I hate hurting you, but you never tell me to stop. You have to know your limits, baby girl. You’re just not strong enough.”

His words — though patronising, and awful, and the kind of thing that make you want to whack him in the neck with one of those massive historical tomes he provides you — are spoken in that soft, Jungkook tone that he used to make you fall in love with him. It reminds you of those days when he was just Kookie, your cute study partner with a bunny smile and a pretty singing voice and broad muscly shoulders that flushed along with the rest of his body when you complimented him.

The Jungkook that you know him as now — the one swiftly bringing you to a reluctant and resentful orgasm — is the opposite of soft. He is rough and impulsive and controlling and you honestly fear what would happen if you tried to ask him for a divorce. He wouldn’t let you go, probably. He’d just laugh at you, and then shove you down and fuck you to make you remember who you really belonged to, like he is doing now.

You try to contain your pants as Jungkook starts a series of staccato thrusts. You are sure Jungkook would hear you, even over the obscene sound of his hips slapping into the back of your thighs, and would be obnoxiously proud about it for the next month. He would already be smug enough having made you come, which you have given up trying to stave off because Jungkook — damn him — is really good at fucking you until you can’t remember your own name. 

He reaches around to pinch your clit harshly and you decide that now is as good a time as any to give up your last remaining vestiges of pride. You come with a piercing whine, clenching around him rhythmically until his hips stutter and you feel the unpleasant sensation of warmth spilling into you. He doesn’t stop, pumping every last drop into you and then dropping on top of you, pinning your body to the mattress. 

After a while he rearranges himself so that he is spooning you, arms wrapped stiflingly tight around your waist, and his now-flaccid cock still tucked inside you. You grimace. Jungkook had always fallen fast asleep after sex, but now you are wide awake, hyperaware as he snores behind you. You don’t know what you’ve become. You hate him. But sometimes he says things that make you wish he wasn’t a monster, that make you wish he was the boy with soft smiles and expressive eyes that you had fallen in love with. You live for the resurgences of that humanity, because it is the only thing you have to look forward to, apart from the eventual day when Jungkook finally snaps and kills you.

~~~~

“Jungkook,” you say over breakfast, and he looks up with his cheeks full of pancake.

“Yes, my angel?” He asks, eyes twinkling — he loves when you say his name — and your breath catches, and for a second everything is perfect and you are having breakfast across from a boy who loves you more than anything. And then you see the annoyed glint in his eye — you hadn’t immediately answered his question — and you come crashing back to bitter reality. 

“I-” You start, then stop, unsure of how to phrase the question into a compliment, that way Jungkook is more likely to give you what you want.

“Say what you want to say, baby. You know how I hate to be kept waiting…” He gives you a shark’s smile. 

“I… I really loved all the books you gave me.” You tell him, making sure your voice is exactly the correct tone of gushing admiration.

“Really?” He replies, a pleased expression on his face as he strokes your hair back gently.

“Yes, and I- I was wondering if maybe… I could have some more?” 

His hand drifts down to rest at the hollow of your throat. It curls slightly.

“N-not that I’m not grateful-” You stammer, “B-But… I liked them all so much I read them too quickly, and now I have nothing else to do with you’re gone.” You end the statement with a playful pout, and you feel your self-loathing level up a notch. 

“Baby, you have to remember to take your time with things like that.” Jungkook grinned, standing up and getting his briefcase. You move to the door where you are supposed to administer a farewell kiss before he goes to work, just like always. 

He smiles, satisfied, before looking sideways slightly so you can get up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He reaches around to squeeze your ass quickly, smirking when you squeak in shock.

“Don’t be greedy baby, take what you’re given.” He tosses a ‘Love you!’ over his shoulder as he goes, and when you call it back the words taste sour on your tongue. You wonder if you had ever uttered those words sincerely. 

~~~~

You had been thinking Jungkook had forgotten about your request for books, so when the doorbell rings at six o clock and you answer it to see a cute delivery boy with a bundle of books tucked under his arm, you are surprised to say the least. 

“D-Delivery for Jeon Jungkook?” He stutters, and you had been expecting him to have a slightly high, nervous voice so the deep, thick drawl shocks you in more ways than one. You can feel yourself melt just looking at him. His eyes are so… innocent, just like Jungkook’s when you first saw him. His nose cutely scrunches as his blond hair — longer than Jungkook’s — falls in soft clumps over his eyes. He huffs a lopsided breath and the light strands flutter about momentarily, before settling back just where they were. You think you’ve fallen in love.

You realise you’ve been staring at him this entire time, but to be fair, he has been staring right back, and you feel yourself become flustered.

“Uh, yeah, that’s me. That’s my package.”

“Sorry ma’am,” He starts in his honey voice, before grinning. He seems to gain confidence due to your flustered state. “-but this package is addressed to a Mr Jeon Jungkook, and you certainly don’t look like a ‘Mr’.” He mutters as his eyes drag up and down your form. You are only in your nightie — Jungkook always likes it when you wear pretty, flimsy things — and this stranger’s gaze is making you blush in a way you know Jungkook wouldn’t be happy about.

“Yeah, that’s… uh, that’s my husband. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Your husband, huh?” The delivery boy does not seem put off by the mention of a husband, in fact, he seems almost spurred on by it. “And where is Mr Jeon Jungkook right now?”

“He’s working late. He would normally be back by now but he called and said he’s spending the night at the office.”

“Working late, huh?” The delivery boy repeats in that cocky drawl, and oddly enough, it reminds you of Jungkook. “You know, if I had a wife like you waiting for me to come home, I don’t know if I’d even make it out of bed long enough to go to work in the morning, let alone stay there overnight.” 

Your eyes widen as your cheeks darken, and his open, bright laughter is the nicest thing you’ve heard in months.

“What happened to the nervous delivery boy?” You spluttered indignantly, and his laughing slowed down, though his eyes were still twinkling. Just like Jungkook’s used to do.

“He relaxed when he realised you were just as affected by him as he was by you.”

“Who says I’m affected by you?” You ask boldly, and then immediately retreat a step when he moves towards you. 

“You’re giving yourself away, sweetheart.” He smirks, before advancing another step into your home. “You know… empty house… husband at work… it seems a waste not to use this opportunity.” He waggles his eyebrows at you, and you scoff, forcing him back with both hands until he is outside the door again. He lets you push him with a brow raised lazily.

“That sounded like a line from a bad porno, and I’m pretty sure Jungkook would literally kill me if he found out.” You fake a laugh, covering up your very real and valid fear that Jungkook would actually kill you.

“Jungkook’s the possessive type, huh?” 

Yes, you scream internally.

“Well, I’m pretty sure no husband would like delivery boys sleeping with their wives.”

“What about delivery boys visiting their wives during the day?”

You pause, hands floating in midair, about to take the parcel out of the delivery boy’s hands.

“Huh?”

“I could come around in the day while your husband’s at work-” He sped up when you raised your brows, “-not to do anything, or at least, anything that you’re uncomfortable with, but just to talk. I can tell you’re lonely.” You scoff and roll your eyes, ignoring the fact that he’s absolutely correct. You turn back to him, ready to decline his offer, when you see his puppy eyes. Your resolve crumbles.

“I don’t know,” You had no way of telling what punishments Jungkook would submit you to if he found out. He didn’t even let you talk to your parents, so you could hardly imagine he’d be pleased with you chatting to young, attractive men while alone at your house.

“Come on!” The delivery boy wheedled. “He’d never know. He’s practically asking for it, he leaves you alone day after day, all you have for company are these stupid books!” A dismissive gesture to the collection of Austen, Dickens and Shakespeare you are carrying. “Aren’t you bored? Don’t you want a little excitement?”

You tiredly fumble around for an excuse.

“I don’t even know your name.”

“My name’s Taehyung.” He introduces himself promptly. “I’d like to visit you tomorrow at lunch time, if that’s alright.”

“You sure you don’t have a delivery then?” You ask hopefully.

“I don’t.”

You release a weary sigh.

“You’re going to come no matter what I say, aren’t you?” He responds with a blinding grin.

“I love that we’re learning things about each other! You can already anticipate my actions,” He starts listing off ‘facts’ on his fingers, “you know my name, I know you’re trapped in an unsatisfying marriage-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Taehyung.” You shut the door firmly, cutting him off.

You hear a muffled ‘can’t wait!’ from the other side of the door and if you happen to blush and giggle like a lovesick schoolgirl it doesn’t matter because no one else is there and therefore it cannot be proved.

~~~~

Taehyung starts paying you regular visits. He keeps up his job obligations even when he’s off the clock, bringing you food that Jungkook wouldn’t let you eat, newspapers since Jungkook doesn’t let you know what was going on in the outside world, and even snapshots of his day. 

Taehyung is an aspiring photographer. He has a small apartment outside of the city and an obsession with strawberries and a dog called Yeontan. He has a life, a life that you are desperately beginning to yearn for. Taehyung tells you once that he wishes he could take a photo of you outside, because he knows this perfect spot — a field full of wildflowers and sunshine that would compliment your beauty perfectly — and you burst into tears. 

You tell him, as he rocks you gently in his arms, that you are trapped by Jungkook. That you hate your husband more than anything. That you can’t remember the last time you felt the sun on your skin. And so, quietly, carefully, the two of you begin to plot.

It is not as simple as calling the police. Jungkook has enough money that there is no crime he cannot buy his way out of, no officer he cannot bribe into submission. No, you have to disappear completely. You begin passing along your possessions to Taehyung so he can take them back to his place, gradually, so that Jungkook doesn’t notice you are withdrawing from his life one pair of shoes at a time. 

You daren’t risk taking any money of Jungkook, but Taehyung tells you it isn’t a problem, which is slightly strange since you know Taehyung must have quit his delivery boy job so that he could see you every day, and surely he could do with some extra cash. You tell yourself it’s sweet that he doesn’t care about material things, he just cares about you.

“What are these?” Jungkook asks one morning, when he is greeted not with eggs sunny side up and a kiss, but a stack of papers.

“A divorce contract.” You tell him, trying to ignore the waver in your voice. He only raises an eyebrow at you, and you blanch.

You had been expecting yelling, threats, maybe even violence. Taehyung had begged you to just leave without a trace, and abandon Jungkook to his own horrid life of loneliness, but you just can’t do that, even if it is the safer option. There is still a small, pathetic part of you that clings to the idea of Kookie, the boy with wire-rimmed glasses and carefree smiles who always accepted your help with questions he couldn’t answer. Even though you know that side of him is now long-dead, if it ever even existed in the first place.

However, Jungkook is currently subverting all of your expectations. He sits there calmly, leafing through the papers.

“These don’t make any sense.” He remarks. You attempt to snatch them back, but he holds them out of your reach.

“Yes, well, I wasn’t really expecting you to read them.” You reply, embarrassed. The fake contract had been your idea, a way of telling Jungkook you wanted a divorce without actually saying the words. Of course, you had expected him to fling them into the fire, or something equally as dramatic, not read through them carefully and snort at all the typos. 

“I understand.” He declares eventually. “You want my attention, so you’re pretending that you want to leave me. Very funny, baby.”

“That’s not true!” You burst out, cheeks burning. “I am leaving you, divorce contract or not.” 

“Hush, baby, you know I don’t like it when you lie.” Jungkook purrs, his eyes burning dangerously.

“I don’t care what you like anymore, Jungkook.” You respond, suddenly furious, “I’ve spent so many years as your wife, being terrified by you, being controlled and miserable. Now I’ve got Taehyung, and I’m finally happy! I love him, Jungkook, not you. I’m leaving.” 

You turn away and storm to the door, but hesitate when you hear Jungkook chuckle.

“If you think you are liberating yourself by going to Kim Taehyung… you are wrong, baby.” 

“H-How do you know his family name?” You ask, fear starting to invade your mind.

“I know a lot of things about Mr Kim,” Jungkook spits, and his anger starts to bleed through. “He is not who you think he is, baby. Are you sure you want to go?” His patronising tone is the last straw for you. 

“I’d rather die than stay here with you.”

“Who knows, baby, Mr Kim might just fulfil your wish.” You blanch again, hesitating with your hand on the lock, a breath away from freedom.

“Y-You’re just trying to scare me.” You stutter, and you hear him sigh behind you.

“No, baby, I’m trying to warn you, but you insist on being so, so dumb. I don’t like to see you hurt, remember? But, if this will teach you a lesson about how lucky you are to have me, I guess I’ll have to let you go. Just remember, baby, when you’re with him and it’s not all you expect it to be, I will be coming for you.” As he speaks, he rises from his seat and moves across the room until he is right behind you, his breath ghosting on the back of your neck as you stubbornly refuse to turn, hand still poised on the latch.

“I’m not coming back.” You whisper, and you feel a huff of laughter against your neck.

“No, baby, I’ll rescue you, and take you back. I promise, you’ll be counting the days until you’re in my arms again.”

~~~~

Jungkook watches from the window as your harried form disappears into the distance. Cursing softly to himself, he turns on his phone and pulls up a number he is loathe to possess. 

“So, she left you, huh?” A cocky voice drawls across the line.

“Shut it, Kim.” Jungkook snaps, “She’s still my wife, she still belongs to me.”

“Oh? You didn’t sign the divorce papers?”

“Yes, very funny by the way, Kim. ‘I hereby announce that Kim Taehyung has been our mother’s favourite from the moment of his conception.’ You should’ve become a comic instead of a criminal.” Jungkook reads a line from the fake files. 

“Well, I could say the same to you, baby brother, allowing your wife to leave you like this. It’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in years.”

“Half-brother.” Jungkook growls. “And she hasn’t left me.”

“The tracker I planted on her begs to differ.”

“She’s just…” Jungkook huffs, “Confused.”

“No, she’s just got good taste, obviously.”

“You really are pathetic, stealing your little brother’s toys like this, hyung.” Jungkook taunts. “Soon, very soon, I’m going to come and get her back. I better not find her too broken when I get there.” 

Jungkook hangs up, mutters a curse under his breath, and then starts planning the inevitable gang war he’s going to have to embroil himself in because his wife can’t keep her damn legs closed.

[sugar-petals]

BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense. 

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS  ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex. 

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈  ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈  THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now. 

tarot mlist | ko-fi

----

for anon:

[ratsoh-writes]

Matchups you say hmmmmm??? Also omg I wasn’t gonna send one in but I kept seeing all the ones you did and they were so cute so I just had to join in;) thank you for doing these!! Also if you have a lot, feel free to ignore this one<3

Main personality traits: I use she/her pronouns, I’m bisexual, and Idk if this is helpful but from quiz results (that were done just for fun lol) I’m a kindness soul. I’m pretty socially awkward, but I try my best to make an effort when I talk to people. I’m very talkative once I get comfortable with someone and I love to joke around and be silly with the people close to me. I love the feeling when you’re joking with someone and you both get so giddy with laughter (it’s one of my fav feelings). I do tend to get drained socially and need alone time every once and awhile. I make an effort, no matter what kind of day I’m having, to be nice to people because you don’t know what they’re going through. I have been told I have rbf (resting bitch face) and not a lot of people tend to approach me because of it and I’m constantly being asked if I’m okay or if I’m mad when around other people, but most of the time, I’m just chilling. I think it’s a mix of social awkwardness and the rbf but who knows? Food is definitely the way to my heart, I love eating good food with good company I just get so warm and fuzzy when cooking/eating with loved ones;) I’d say my love language is probably quality time, and food (is that one of the love languages?? If not it should).

Strengths: Having dealt with a lot of judgment myself, I don’t tend to be a judgmental person. I’m a good listener, I’m good at reaffirming and hyping up those close to me when they need it, and I’m good at seeing if someone is uncomfortable in situations and acting accordingly, such as getting them out, changing the subject, speaking up, etc.

Weaknesses: I’m a sh*t communicator when it comes to my own feelings, especially when they’re negative, and I find it really hard to put them into words and because of this I tend to bottle a lot of things up. When I snap, it’s not usually anger it’s mostly just, exhaustion, tears, or a total shut down because of the bottling and while I’m working to get better, it’s still a bad habit I have. I also tend to procrastinate, I have a hard time with big social gatherings, I can be forgetful, I can be pretty stubborn, and I get very insecure (about my feelings and my appearance/body) and tend to beat myself up over a lot of things.

Pet peeves/odd habits: I have sensory issues so I cannot stand flashing lights, sudden loud/shrill noises, loud chewing/mouth noises, itchy fabrics (those are the main triggers). I hate angry yelling, laugh tracks in shows, vomit and when its used as comedy in the media, and the dark. I also really hate alcohol and drugs, I don’t care if others are having fun with it, you do you and I’m not gonna judge you for it, but personally it’s a trigger and I don’t like being around it or people while they’re under the effects of it. As for odd habits, I never have the comforter on the bed because it gets too hot and I sleep with only one or two thinner blankets, I hate having doors and windows open, and burning candles makes me nervous and I’ll never let them burn for more then ten minutes.

Hobbies: I love to draw, play/listen to music, paint nails/do nail art, play video games, go on walks (not runs I am deeply out of shape), go to cool shops/places, and as mentioned before cook/eat with loved ones.

No no’s in a relationship: not respecting my boundaries, pressuring me to do things I’ve said I don’t want to (not like going to events or stuff because getting out of your comfort zone is important sometimes, but with more serious things), constantly interrupting me without noticing or caring, being judgmental, and jumping to conclusions without having a conversation with me.

I hope that wasn’t too much! Thank you for doing these!! I hope you’re doing okay and are hopefully having a good day/night;)

hmmm there's quite a few boys who fit you pretty well. Let’s take a walk on the wild side and go with CASH (swapfell papyrus)!

First of all, the two biggest points are: your humor and aversion to drink and drug. The sense of humor is pretty self explanatory. Cash just wants someone he can joke around with. It doesn't necessarily mean elaborate pranks all the time, just teasing and giggling together is great too. For the drinking, cash is an ex alcoholic and drug addict. He’s been sober for a few years now, but obviously needs someone who wont be a temptation to him. 

Cash is one of those guys who’s very social and needs a lot of stimulation to be happy. He’s an independent adult and wont get mad if you need a day to yourself on occasion. He might be all whiny though since he’s a dramatic b*stard lol. 

Cash takes people as they are and won’t expect anyone to change for him. Unfortunately both of you are crap at talking about your own feelings. It’s just something you both will have to learn together. 

dating cash includes:

so you like nail art? He’s always down to be your test dummy. If you ever did cash’s claws, he’ll wear the art with pride

just a warning, cash is ridiculously easy to hype up. He just loved being excited and goofy! If you’re in a playful mood, it’ll only take like .2 seconds to get hi right up there with you lol

cash is picky when it comes to the food at his own home, but going out he has a rule that you should try everything at least once. Even the really sketch stuff. No regrets in this house

if  you’re wondering, the second best was bruiser

[red-writing-on-asylum-walls]

FebuWhump Day 4: Impaling

Starring my good boy Maxis from Inherently Good!

Warnings: child endangerment, blood, crying, severe injuries, impalement, traffic accidents, dramatic rain

----------------------------------

Milo doesn’t see the truck coming because he’s too busy trying to beat the lights at the zebra crossing. He can’t see it because his hood is up and his hair is in his face, plastered down by the pouring rain, drenching the world in smears of color and muffling all sound.

He doesn’t see the truck.

But Maxis does.

Max sees the truck coming and there’s no time—no time for the truck to stop on the slick pavement, no time to push Milo out of the way, no time to call him back to safety, no time do anything.

Except for one thing.

Max leaves Cody screaming on the sidewalk, launches himself into the street with green energy already sizzling from his fist. He hopes its enough.

Time doesn’t slow down like it does in the movies.

Everything happens in a fraction of a second.

There’s a boom as Max makes impacts with the semi-truck, the hood collapsing like wet paper. The truck swerves, its trailers screeching as it tips and slams into the road, swinging across the sidewalk and knocking lampposts over like toothpicks. Its front end smashes into the opposite side of the street, concrete and metal and glass erupting into the air like an industrial volcano. The trailer still has moment and is chewing up the sidewalk. Cody dives into a shop, scrambling away from the front with the rest of the patrons as the back end cleaves through it, showering them with brick and mortar but thankfully little else. The metal framing of the trailer and the truck is warping, bending, its bonds straining against its own weight until they snap. Jagged pieces of metal whip off through the air, hissing cables and steel bolts writhing for a few seconds before embedding themselves into walls or the ground.

When it finally falls still, it is with the heavy groan of something enormous being laid to rest, its death rattle a tick of cooling engines and the settling of a steel frame.

It is still raining.

No one can see past the great wall of the truck, can’t make their way around where it is bent from one side of the street to the other. Sirens are already wailing in the distance.

Cody tries to leave the shop, his glasses cracked and his palms scraped, tries to climb over the upended vehicle, screaming for his friends. An adult holds him back, tries to comfort him, tries to tell him it’s not safe. Cody only screams.

Milo can hear him, distantly, like he’s miles away.

His ears are ringing and his heart is pounding and it’s hard to breathe. He feels dizzy, like he can’t quite get the world to stop spinning, like it won’t come into focus. His head hurts and there’s something hot smearing down the side of his face with the cold rain. His palms sting, his jeans are torn and bloodied, and he thinks maybe he fell, somehow.

“M-Milo…?” Max’s voice, closer, worried, hesitant. Milo blinks, tries to shake the static from his head, and looks around.

Max is hunched over him, arms spread, braced against the chunk of concrete Milo is leaning against. When he sees Milo looking, he smiles, shows that silly gap in his teeth, “Haha, wow, that sure was s-something, huh? Are you okay?”

“I…” Milo swallows hard, tries to turn to see what’s going on.

“Hey, Milo!” Max’s cheery voice is somewhat strained but it draws Milo’s attention back to his face, “Uh, h-how’s your head? Does it hurt? I hope you don’t have a, uh, a concussion.”

“Max…? What…” Milo struggles to put pieces together, his gaze darting away from Max to search the rest of the scene. It’s so hazy through the rain. Everything looks like it’s been through an apocalypse, concrete and metal and bits of glass all over the place.

“Milo. Milo! Milo, look at me!” Max tries to get his attention again, “Just—just stay right here, okay? H-help is c-coming. It’ll be okay. Just stay still, all right. Are you listening, Milo? Don’t. Move.”

“What happened…?” Reality is oozing back into place and with it, fear. Milo whimpers, cold and soaked and hurt and confused, braces his hands to stand up.

“Don’t!”

Milo flinches, falling back against the concrete slab as a sharp pain flares in his leg. Max is talking to him but Milo’s attention if solely focused on the steel beam digging into his thigh. It’s not terribly deep but it’s bleeding and it hurts and it scares him. Milo hiccups in fear and pain and grabs at the bar, his hands slippery, paws at the spot where it’s stabbed him, wants to tear it out.

“MILO LOOK AT ME!” Max shouts and Milo jumps, turning a watery gaze up to his friend. Max smiles but it’s thin and tepid and it looks like it hurts him to do it, “Milo, it’s okay. It’s n-not that bh—“ He takes a moment to catch his breath, ducking his head a little before he resurfaces, “It’s not that bad. You’ll be all right. B-but I need—need you to l-leave it in, okay? I know it hurts b-but you could bleed out if you remove it. Just—it—leave it…”

“Max…” Milo whines. He wants a hug. He wants a hug so damn bad, “Max, I’m s-s-scared…I w-want my Dads…”

“I know,” Maxis breathes, his voice quivering, “I know, Milo, I…I’m scared too…I wish—“ He breaks off, grits his teeth, expression crumpling into pain in a way Milo has never seen, “I wish Hector were here…”

And for once he sounds like a frighted little child.

“Y-you should…sit down…” Milo says, wants to reach out and hold Max because he’s cold and they’re both soaking wet and they’re both scared.

Max’s grin is lopsided and painful, tears swimming in the corners of his eyes as he looks down at Milo,

“I, uh, I can’t. Sorry.”

He can’t? Why can’t Max sit down? He must be tired, standing like that over Milo. He must be tired and cold and his arms are shaking and he’s crying, so he must be tired! Milo’s about to protest Max’s denial but then Milo shifts his injured leg a little and Max gasps in pain, a sound that chokes off into a whimper and Milo looks. Really actually looks this time.

The piece of metal in Milo’s leg isn’t that deep because something stopped it.

Something slowed it down before it could get too far.

Milo traces the piece of metal up, up, up into Max’s side, tearing through his shirt, sprouting like an obscene extra arm. Milo can see the rest of the piece poking out from behind Max. It must have been flying through the air and the only thing that saved Milo’s leg from further damage was Max getting in its way.

Max’s t-shirt and shorts are already stained red and soaked through.

And he’s still fucking smiling.

Milo begins to cry.

“Hey, hey, no, c-come on,” Max says gently, far gentler than he has a right to with a steel beam as thick as Milo’s arm through him, “It’s g-gonna be okay, Milo. It will all be okay. Help’s almost here! Th-the sirens—the sirens are c-closer! We’ll be home—nhg, home soon. Just hold on a little bit longer.”

But Milo can only sob, choking on his tears, as Max continues to comfort him.

The blood runs down Max’s leg and begins to drip onto the pavement. The rain washes it away.

“Just keep look—looking at m-me,” Max says in a shaky voice, “I’m r-right here. You’re gonna be okay, Milo, I swear. J-just—just…nh…” He wavers for a moment, body slackening, and the metal digs sharply into Milo’s leg, making him yelp. The noise jolts Max awake again and he shakes himself, forcing on that smile again, “S-sorry, got a little, ah, dizzy. We’re gonna be all right though! C-can you hear that? The—the sirens—they must be here now. They’re gonna—gonna get us out of this. Just keep looking at me, Milo, just look at me.”

Milo sobs, pressing the heels of his hands into this eyes as the first of the emergency workers make their way over the upturned semi, “H-h-how can you kh-keep sm-smiling? Why!? Why are you s-s-still smiling!?”

Maxis beams, bright and honest, chuckling weakly even as his arms and legs are shaking from cold and weakness, even as his blood continues to pool in his sock, even with tears on his cheeks, he beams at Milo,

“Because that’s what heroes do! They always keep smiling!”

[albatris]

Hi hello I hope you're doing well and getting read to sn00ze soon, STS! Saturday! Yes! Cause you're an artist and a writer, I was wondering how much the two mediums bleed into each other? Does drawing something out help you visualise it better, or do they not really interact much at all?

hello hi hey there and happy storyteller saturday :D thank you for the question!! I hope ur having a cool day B)

and even though you sent this yesterday you telling me to sn00ze is equally applicable today as it is almost every day of the week so................ yep, I’ll be sure to get onto that at some point. you’re probably going to make a >:c face at me for answering this at 3:06am

anyway! this is an interesting question! and a good one! unfortunately it may not have a very interesting answer?

my initial response was gonna be that they don’t really bleed into each other at all, but then........ nah, they kinda do

(and then about halfway through typing this draft I was like But What About Undertow, and my response became “oh yeah they definitely do”, but I’ll get to that in a bit)

but yeah! I think my writing definitely influences my art! both in the sense that I tend to draw mostly story stuff, ‘cause I like my stories and drawing is fun, but also in terms of like....... inspiration! usually I have a pretty good image of stuff in my head already while I’m writing, n sometimes this image will make me go “hell yeah I vibe with this I wanna draw it”, but the art itself generally turns out nothing like what I envision and usually takes a life of its own ‘cause I’ll just end up drawing whatever looks cool hahahaha

so I get some neat experiments and doodles and weirdness in various art pieces that definitely stemmed from story daydreams, but probably aren’t super related to the story itself in the end :P y’all don’t see much of this stuff ‘cause I mostly just post character drawings lmao

(this is bc I’m most confident with character drawings, and I will fistfight Drawing Backgrounds And Scenes in a wendy’s parking lot any day of the week)

but kinda hopping back up for a sec, one example that IS related to the story is like

drawings I’ve done that are centred in ATDAO’s unreality aren’t actually a super good representation of what the unreality is actually like? or I mean. they could be. they can be! but the drawings are centred around very literal concrete representations of glitchy weirdness

whereas in the story itself (at least to start with) there’s much more a focus on the general looming Hey Something Is Horribly Wrong vibes and, like, the unravelling and bleeding together of senses, the way the narration changes (ie the way your own thought processes slowly start becoming completely foreign to you), n just........ glitchy weirdness, but not glitchy weirdness that you can visually represent, glitchy weirdness that is canonically in the category “you can experience this and have no way to process it because a human mind is not equipped to translate it and your senses have no way of taking it in”

n then I bring the body horror in full force but that’s neither here nor there

existential terror and uncanny valley vibes r hard to draw, y’know? so the drawings mostly just wind up as me having fun with the aesthetic hahaha

but yeah, art stuff stems from story daydreams, it’s very rare that story stuff will stem from art daydreams

character drawings were something I started doing just ‘cause I liked my characters and I was vibin, but they ended up being the one exception in that they DO tend to actively inspire the decisions I make in the story itself, unlike my other art

written descriptions of people are a weak point for me, generally I’ll kinda know at least the key aspects of what folks look like, but the descriptions I come up with on page are always frustratingly vague............. n drawing them out helps me fill in the blanks and give my descriptions a bit more life and personality IMO, ‘cause I mean

there’s little things about people’s appearances that are pretty personal, little quirks or habits they have, etc, that I wouldn’t think of in writing, whereas in art they just crop up naturally

and also sometimes I’ll write a description of a character or have an image of them in my head and I’ll be like Yeah This Is Them but then when I draw them my hands will just make their own decisions

and whatever the hands create is Law and Official Canon as far as I’m concerned, I will always trust the hands over my initial plans when it comes to characters, and they have not failed me so far

and now that I’ve gone on a whole spiel about how (outside of helping me pin down character details) creating art isn’t generally something that inspires a lot of story development or daydreams, it’s time for me to completely contradict that because, like I said earlier: Undertow

this is a WIP that came into existence purely from art inspiration! basically I came up with Aster’s design on the fly because someone was like “it’s genderqueer pride day” and I was like Oh Sick Time To Make A New Genderqueer OC

most of the characters in Undertow were drawn and designed long before I had any clue who they were or what their deal was. the entire premise of Aster as a character was born within like two hours from one silly doodle. then I was like “BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD FRIENDS” so I drew some friends, who ended up being Kit and Meg. n their relationships with each other and the kind of story in which they find themselves all just kind of spiralled out from a series of silly doodles and took on a life of their own :P

I think it’s a different scenario since Undertow exists purely as a vessel for shenanigans and self-indulgent nonsense, so I was feeling a lot less pressure to be grounded and serious, I could just throw things around like “amnesiac clairvoyant delivery driver with an illegal magic crime truck” and “necromancer who doesn’t believe in magic who wants to reanimate a t-rex to honour his dead wife” to see what stuck and I had no need to be like “hm, but is that Realistic, though?”

unrestrained summer fun!

it’s easier for me to let myself daydream in relation to art when there’s none of this pressure, which I think is what separates Undertow from my other projects c:

plus Undertow is the one WIP of mine that I’ve always pictured in a kind of episodic comic format, though I lack the skill set or the patience to pull this off hahaha

as such, most of my development for it comes in the form of messing around with the artistic side of things!! as it should be, I think

anyway that’s enough from me I think, thanks for reading, have a fantastic day, hope you see some cool birds (if you do please tell me about them)

[xianglingslesbian]

oh I'll give u a character alright: Izuki, Kiyoshi, Riko and Aomine <333 technically that's four, but what goes around comes around (I'll keep this circle of love goin forever buddy)

VICCCC ily my man <33 thank u!!! aight putting this under a cut bc it got long

Izuki

Why I like them: izuki’s just overall so amazing! he inspires me to give my best in the stuff i do, and although it sounds a bit silly i try to be a person that he’d be proud of. his puns are hilarious and well-thought-out (as a person who loves words and word jokes, i’m naturally drawn to him lol). they’re also a way to take the heat off the team, he’s so hardworking and never views obstacles as obstacles, rather as hills he must climb to find newer skies. he’s also rather clever and employs his brains to great effect when his body fails him! izuki embodies the meaning of ‘eagle’ in the truest sense - waiting to strike when the time is right and not failing when it is.

Why I don’t: *sweats* can’t really think of a reason i don’t like izuki, at all??? i guess he can overwork himself a lot and tends to keep his true emotions hidden which could lead to misunderstandings between friends (although this is totally headcanon territory lol)... i also didn’t like the ableist comment he passed on hayama (“i’m just glad you weren’t smarter than me”). but i think he can (and will!) grow from that kind of stuff, he is that kind of person so yeah no particular reason for me to dislike him at all

Favorite episode (scene if movie): how dare you make me pick s3 e8 izuki vs kasamatsu, hands down. i know its like cliche or whatever but that moment just told me so much about izuki as a character? he’s willing to do what it takes to win, he’s adaptable and dependable and he doesn’t let shit get him down ever. it’s gorgeous

Favorite season/movie: s3, he got some fantastic moments in there!! although i will say i loved the spotlighting he got in s1 in the seihō match

Favorite line: “Fear isn't a bad thing. There are some things that can only be done by cowards.” this is first of all such a nice thing to say. ‘fear is not bad’ is just... so fucking wise? keep in mind that this boy is 17, i’ve met 30 year olds who are less mature. secondly it feels like izu’s speaking from experience?? like he has a lot to be scared of, i’m sure. particularly of falling behind and being a burden to his teammates. but it’s that ‘cowardice’ that drives him to practice so so hard. that visceral terror of weighing on seirin is what pushes izuki beyond his limits - which is why here he can empathise with furi’s fear, and knows how best to employ it.

Favorite outfit: look i hate last game w/ a passion but that lil tie/shirt/hoodie thing he had going? that was literally so cute. izuki in general has a p great fashion sense but his last game outfit takes the cake <3

OTP: hyuuizu oh my god i could talk for years about them but since this post is gonna be very long i’ll refrain. just. they are perfect they are fucking perfect

Brotp: kiyoizu!! kiyoshi is izuki’s biggest enabler and i love that for him <3

Head Canon: izuki can be very very passive aggressive when he’s angry at someone/sad and gets cold and withdrawn. it’s not fun to experience but tbh if you upset him you probably deserve it

Unpopular opinion: izuki should’ve been naturally better in canon. it’s not fair to shaft him and give the ‘trier’ thing off to himuro. that being said i am p happy with who he is as a person

A wish: i want to know how izuki felt after middle school! izuki’s and riko’s backstory focuses so much on hyuuga its dumb >:( he also would’ve been demoralised but he didn’t quit bball and i would like to know his thought process!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: i. uh. i guess izu quitting basketball. because i genuinely cannot see that happening. it brings him so much joy, he should never stop cold turkey. i can imagine old man izuki hobbling about a court giving little kids pointers and making them laugh T-T

5 words to best describe them: “big brain caffeine-powered clown baby” 

My nickname for them: babyzuki/izu/shunshun

Kiyoshi

Why I like them: lots of reasons! kiyoshi is an admirable person. he’s strong, yet friendly and gentle, and he loves his team above all else, which i just find beautiful. i find his manipulative side also pretty cool, bc it shows off how multifaceted he is.

Why I don’t: this is more of a fandom reason but i really dislike how kiyoshi is always said to have had the greatest impact in hyuuga’s story. he badgered and manipulated hyuuga, and while some may argue hyuuga needed that push, it only worked bc hyuuga had had time to think about shit. he’d also been given space by riko and izuki (two integral parts of his life whom the fandom looooves to sideline for uwu kiyo//hyuu). 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): yousen match (can’t pick the episodes)! i loved the backstory we got for kiyo vs mura and i loved how kiyoshi was willing to smile and play but also refused to lose. he truly stole the show despite kagami being the one to finally take down murasakibara, it was gorgeous <3

Favorite season/movie: s2 for sure. kiyoshi wasn’t allowed to shine much after yousen imo - all the focus was on hyuuga kagami and kuroko, and to a lesser extent izuki. not complaining, but yeah

Favorite line: “Let’s go have some fun.” i know it’s kinda cliche but i do love how kiyoshi’s always thinking about playing a good game and enjoying basketball. he wants to play because he loves it and as someone who loves a sport as much as kiyoshi loves b-ball, that love is so poignant and tender

Favorite outfit: practice clothes! kiyoshi looks great in pink <3

OTP: kiyohana. hateshipping amirite ;)

Brotp: kiyohyuu! i love them as friends so so much <3

Head Canon: kiyoshi is half-iranian on his mother’s side and is muslim. i won’t say too much because i am not muslim myself, i need to do more research into this but i’ve had this headcanon for quite a while now!

Unpopular opinion: he should be bullied more for the fact that his canon power is having yaoi hands

A wish: kiyo finds something he loves as much as b-ball. he can’t canonically play at this level again, so if he found another sport/competition/anything, it’d be amazing

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he should never become demoralised. kiyoshi at heart is a dreamer, so let him dream, let him look towards tomorrow with a smile always

5 words to best describe them: “useless dreamy dumbass cheerleader clown”

My nickname for them: kiyoyo, bc my feelings about him have yo-yoed a lot lmao

Riko

Why I like them: im a lesbian, next. /j i love her because she’s so tenacious and driven. yet she’s also kind and gentle, and never loses her humanity. she cares, and she cares hard. she’s so fucking smart too like... coaching a hs basketball team at 17 against players of NBA calibre and making them win? i could never. seirin without riko is nothing.

Why I don’t: i dont like the constant slapstick of her beating up her boys. also, i dislike how the narrative forces her to act ‘feminine’ and then has the boys think of it as nothing. like first of all if someone like her offered me a kiss i would so take 100, and secondly... why is a girl’s worth so tied to her femininity? it’s awful

Favorite episode (scene if movie): her sending in furi vs kaijō, early in s3. it was an exceedingly smart move that could have only come from her knowing her players’ strengths and weaknesses intimately, and being a brilliant coach. just amazing <3

Favorite season/movie: all of them! riko has some amazing moments each season, so i can’t really pick

Favorite line: “Humans grow. Don't act like you understand when you don't even realize that!” here, riko knows and knows well that she is in her element. momoi might have the data, but riko understands adaptability and knows how to predict stuff. in that way, one can draw parallels between takao vs izuki and momoi vs riko: takao and momoi are recon experts, whereas riko and izuki are strategists. momoi uses raw data; riko manipulates the data to her advantage

Favorite outfit: idk if this is exactly an outfit but her glasses are so cute oh my gosh. (i’d kill to see her in a leather jacket tho)

OTP: rikomomo!!! i’m 100% sure that momoi’s fixation w/riko’s boobs is just... repressed lesbian sentiments. also sports girlfriends gimme

Brotp: hyuuizuriko. i hc that hyuuizu were tgt since elementary school and riko joined them in middle school so... childhood friends feels!

Head Canon: riko knows how to shoot a gun. her father owns one so it makes sense

Unpopular opinion: riko does not need to have bigger boobs in fanart. please stop sexualising a 17 year old girl

A wish: white suit riko please

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her ever leaving behind sports in any way shape or form. it’s her thing. in the same vein, she should never have to change herself or become more traditionally feminine to be ‘appealing’

5 words to best describe them: perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect

My nickname for them: ai/riri

Aomine

Why I like them: aomine is just a pure, hurting young man that deserves help. he’s passionate, and his fire died down out of no fault of his own. that fire’s reignition through kagami is one of my favorite scenes <3

Why I don’t: he’s perverted as hell and i dislike that. it plays into the ‘brutish dark-skinned pervert’ stereotype which is yikes. also i thought we were done with pervs in anime

Favorite episode (scene if movie): s2 seirin v touou when kagami enters the zone!! aomine’s finally happy and it’s so amazing to watch <3

Favorite season/movie: s2, he finally got happiness and peace of mind

Favorite line: “You’re the best!” there’s just so much of pure joy in this line. he’s so so beside himself that he finally has someone he won’t destroy. kagami sees aomine the person, and that person is so happy, it’s beautiful

Favorite outfit: the leather jacket from the finale lmaooo he looked so cute

OTP: AOKAGA BABY i could write an essay tbh

Brotp: aomomo!! theyre such good friends and bi/lesbian solidarity too!

Head Canon: aomine cannot dance. he has stepped on kagami’s feet multiple times. he has also attempted to twerk when drunk. kuroko recorded the whole thing and uses it as blackmail in case the puppy eyes and “but aomine-kun you didn’t fist bump me back” don’t work

Unpopular opinion: more a fandom thing, but you all need to stop making aomine the aggressive/possessive top/‘seme’. it’s racist as fuck

A wish: aomine goes pro. it’ll be amazing for him, a huge challenge and kagami will be there too so its a win-win ;)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he quits again/b-ball loses its allure. aomine at heart is someone who needs passion to drive him so i just want that passion to always burn bright within him

5 words to best describe them: “bastard baby needs a hug”

My nickname for them: dai-chan, momoi rubbed off on me

[ragnarachael]

Promises Promises

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2,135

Summary: Steve wishes you’d stop reminiscing when you’re literally bleeding out in his arms.

Warnings: blood! gunshot wounds! Age Of Ultron Steve Rogers! mentions of dead things! my tears! (if you remember the AOU deleted scenes, you’ll be ‘pleasantly’ surprised.)

A Note: this was literally meant to be for a challenge with one of the writing blogs i follow, but it didn’t follow the theme/prompt at all so here we are! this is in celebration of Avengers: Endgame coming out!

masterlist

“You’re okay, you’re going to be fine,” Steve said firmly as he started to apply pressure to the bullet wound, which caused you to cry out loudly in pain, smacking a hand down onto his armor covered bicep.

Your nails were definitely leaving marks in the leather.

“S-Steve-”

“Y/N’s down, I need someone to come and take her to the carrier!”

Steve was in Captain mode, looking around the deserted streets of Sokovia as he kept applying pressure, rattling off more orders over the coms to the team.

It all just sounded like buzzing in your ear.

“Steve,” you cried out once more as he pressed a little more on the wound, frantically moving your hand that scarred the leather to his face to turn his head down to you.

“Hey, it’s okay, everything is going to be okay,” Steve reassured you softly, his hands twitching almost as if he was going to cup your cheek.

“Steve, we’re out of time,” you spat, your breathing picking up a considerable amount as his head finally stopped trying to look around the area and keep his eyes fixed on you.

“Don’t say that. Do not say that,” Steve insisted sternly as you gently gripped his face with your one hand a little tighter as he tried to look where he heard more gunshots, your other going to his hands on your bloody abdomen.

“I k-know.. I know you don’t like it, but Steve,” you started before swallowing hard, “I don’t think we have a choice this time.”

You could feel Steve’s jaw clenching under your touch, finally your eyes connecting with his glossed over, pain filled ones.

Steve let out a shaky huff and leaned his face into your hand slightly as he shut his eyes to keep the tears from leaving them.

“I promised you, Y/N-”

“I’m aware of that fact, yes,” you said quickly before letting the cough you felt coming on out, turning your head to not cough directly into your boyfriend’s face.

You finally recovered from your coughing fit, grimacing at the metallic taste of blood finally hitting your tongue.

“This is just a promise you’re gonna have to break, Captain.”

Steve could tell you were weak in that moment. He could notice how pale you were, see a vibrant red color in the back of your throat as you started to try and find more words to say.

He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.

“Does anybody read me? We need some help over here!” Steve exclaimed desperately now, trying to keep his voice steady as he shifted on his knees above your body, keeping the pressure steady and apologizing profusely as you let out small pained whimpers.

“Y-You know,” you barely started, coughing roughly as your thumb rubbed over his cheek bone, “this reminds me of our f-first mission.”

You turned your head to spit out what you thought was spit that accumulated in your mouth, trying to hide a shocked expression when you saw the crimson color you knew all too well.

“Where you got stabbed in the leg?” Steve questioned suddenly, his brows raising as his eyes seemed to sparkle down at you in the sunlight.

“Y-Yeah. H.Y.D.R.A Base?” You grunted, shifting a little bit on the road you were still laying on, Steve letting out a quiet puff of a laugh.

“Yeah. Nat caught us making out in the Quinjet,” Steve said fondly, finally getting a small smile on his face before looking down at his hands that were still pressing down on your still bleeding wound.

You let out a breathy laugh.

“She was always onto us before we said we were dating.”

“That’s because the first day I met you she was there,” Steve explained, hearing his com in his ear start to make a static noise. He huffed before moving one hand from your stomach to tap on it, completely ignoring the fact there’s blood all over his hand.

You let your hand fall back onto your other that was resting close by where the wound and Steve’s other hand stayed as you tried to hold back a noise of pain while Steve tried messing with his com, taking in a deep breath the best you could.

“R-Remember that one mission,” you started, swallowing roughly to keep speaking and fighting the fatigue that was trying to put you asleep, “w-where-”

“Y/N, I know what you’re doing, you’re going to be fine,” Steve grunted and flicked the com a little harder in is ear before he could hear Tony yelling loud and clear.

“Hello?” Steve said aloud before his hand went back onto your wound, causing you to let out a weak cry in pain.

“Rogers? Where the hell have you and Y/L/N been! Everyone’s almost on the carrier-”

“Y/N’s been injured,” Steve reasoned loudly as he cut off Tony, “gunshot in the abdomen, she’s losing a significant amount of blood.”

In the midst of the two leaders conversing over the com that was still in your ear, you carefully sat up some, hissing in pain as Steve kept one hand on the entrance wound and the other helping you sit up before he watched you pull out your com from  your ear and chuck it down the rubble filled street while Tony started asking where you two were located.

“Uh, we’re um,” Steve stumbled as his head started spinning around again, absentmindedly pulling you closer and into his chest as he started to eye walls colored with graffiti.

He grimaced as he looked at the wall that had his face on it with the bright red letters “FAŠISTA."

“There’s a wall covered in graffiti.”

“Okay? What’s the graffiti look like, Picasso?” Tony quipped before Steve sighed, feeling you start to try and curl up into his chest.

“It’s me with red eyes and the word “fašista.” F-A-S with a little arrow on the top-”

“Oh, that’s where you two are at? How romantic,” Natasha butted in sarcastically, blasts being heard over her side of the coms as Steve rolls his eyes before turning his head back down to you as you started to cough again.

“You’re doin’ great, sweetheart,” Steve said encouragingly as you tried to keep drawing in deep breaths.

“Steve, I-I don’t think I’m going to make it,” you said carefully, slowly looking up at him. Steve just shook his head and started to gently rub your back with his bloody hand.

“Tony sent out reinforcements, you’ve got this.” Steve was definitely starting to lose his cool facade and starting to replace it with panic.

You started to laugh but it only lead up to be another rough cough followed by more blood.

Steve was quick to at least pat your back gently as you spat before you started to lean back into his arms, almost panting from just that alone.

“Does reinforcements translate to Natasha and Clint?” You questioned, shifting a bit in Steve’s arms as you started to blink slowly. Steve let out a small huff of a laugh, starting to rock with you in his arms a bit.

“With our luck? Most likely.”

You held back your laugh and just smiled painfully in return, trying to ignore the searing pain that was still flowing through your body.

You could have swore you watched Steve tug his com from his ear and toss it down the street, but you couldn’t really tell.

You’re not even sure what was happening anymore. It felt like your perception of time was being warped while the ringing in your ears only started to really intensify.

Steve talking to you sounded like you were miles apart in a cave but you were just in his arms.

“Hey, hey, stay with me, alright? They’ll be here any minute,” Steve said softly as he tried to shake you awake. You blinked up at him slowly, sniffling a bit.

“‘Member that one time we- we..” You started, your words progressively starting to slur more the further you got into the sentence.

Steve didn’t know whether he should have encouraged you to talk for a moment, since you should most probably save your energy, but at the same time he knew he had to keep you awake the best he could.

He really hoped those reinforcements Tony promised hurried the hell up.

“Which time, doll?” Steve questioned gently, loud enough to gain your attention once more. You smacked your lips as if you had cotton in your mouth before finally speaking up.

“That one time we.. w-we uh, our firs’ date?” You mumbled, you grip starting to loosen.

You started to feel like you were floating on a cloud.

Steve smiled sadly and nodded as you kept looking at his face almost as if you’d never met him.

“Yeah, we went to the carnival. I won you that huge stuffed dragon you keep next to your window,” Steve reminded you as his eyes started to sting with a new set of fresh tears while you blinked slowly.

You didn’t seem to register what he said in response.

“Steve?” You asked quietly, Steve humming in response as he quickly moved a bit closer so you could keep your voice at the same volume and so he could hear you better.

“I.. I dunno if I ever said this to you, b-but..” You swallowed thickly, your face barely scrunching up at the blood that was built up in your mouth, “I lo-love you.”

Steve could feel his heart jump to his throat in an instant. You two hadn’t really said that in the relationship yet. He had a whole night planned and everything to say it to you.

He closed his eyes tightly and let out a soft chuckle as he smiled softly over at your paling face.

“I love you too, Y/N.”

He watched you weakly break out into the biggest smile that always always makes his heart stop and want to just tuck you away from the world and just hold you for the rest of his living days.

“Really?”

If you weren’t dying, he would have joked with you in that very moment about how silly that response is.

“Of course I do, Y/N. I’ve loved you since you beat me at our first sparring session.”

Your smile never faded as Steve felt one of your hands weakly tugged at the collar of his suit.

Steve didn’t need you to speak anymore in that moment and was quick and careful to connect your lips in a gentle kiss.

However, he was quick to pull away when your head started to fall back as if you had no control over it. He moved to cradle the back of your head, his face starting to contort into worry as he noticed your eyes finally shut.

“Y/N?” He asked, gently shaking your limp form, feeling his tears finally push over to start trickling down his cheeks as he moved his bloody hand that’s from your abdomen to check your pulse.

He stopped right before his hand touched the clear skin of your neck and quickly moved to wipe his hand on his leg, grimacing at the texture before deeming some of his hand acceptable to check your pulse.

Steve really didn’t know what he was expecting when he found none.

He let out a huff of a breath, slowly trying to take in deep breaths and keep himself calm as his other hand moved from your neck to the small of your back.

You were really gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

He doesn’t know how long he spent holding your body to his as he cried. He doesn’t know what was happening anymore. Steve was never one to let his emotions get to him on a mission, but he couldn’t help himself this time.

He just lost one of the best things that’s happened to him since he rejoined society.

Steve had finally stopped crying completely and had started to shift your body around in his arms so he could start heading back to the carrier when Natasha had finally showed up.

“Hey-”

Natasha’s voice was cut short the second Steve turned around with your body in his arms.

She was too late.

The walk back to the carrier was silent.

Steve and Nat didn’t speak. Nothing was exchanged as they walked past their fellow team members onto the carrier where all of the people that they’d saved cowered and cried in thanks for the Avengers for saving them before anything got worse.

Steve laid your body out on a bench that was empty and just sighed as his cleaner hand ran through your tangled hair.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t keep my promise."

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 12

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; Chap 1 ; Chap 2 ; Chap 3 ; Chap 4 ; Chap 5 ; Chap 6 ; Chap 7 ; Chap 8 ; Chap 9 ; Chap 10 ; Chap 11

Masterlist : here

AN : Hello ! In this (longer) chapter, you get to sketch and paint Jake, but both fail to really focus on your work... and things get messy. Also features awkward moments, silliness, unspoken words, and a slight bit of angst. As always, I hope you like it, feel free to share your thoughts and/or criticism, thanks for reading me ! (Also, another AN at the end)

Chapter 12 : Would you model for me ?

Around 1 pm Mandy took off, saying she had to go downtown to buy some fabric, taking a reluctant Josh with her with the excuse that he'll help her carry everything. Everything froze when she winked at me before closing the door, letting me alone with Jake. Just sitting together at the table felt awkward, but I was afraid my heart was gonna leap from my lips if I opened my mouth to say something. Jake got rid of his ponytail, helping me putting the dishes in the sink before clapping his hands together.

- Should we start ?

Nervousness began slowly fading away as minutes passed. Quietly, he sat on the chair, legs crossed and hands resting on his lap, intently watching my every move as I was preparing my easel, turning the vises to adjust it to my height. Definitely curious about the whole thing, Jake popped from behind it, handling me my worn out pencils.

- Isn't one enough ?

I couldn't help but smile at this.

- They don't all have the same lead.

Jake frowned ever so slightly and I instinctively took his hand in mine while he let me.

- Look, I said as I traced a noticeable line on his skin. This pencil has a B lead, which means it's kinda greasy contrary to the H leads, that's why it left a mark. See, I explained while tracing another line on his hand with another pencil, this is a 6B, the higher the number, the greasier the lead. For H leads it's the other way around, feel how this one is hard and dry ? We use H leads to sketch and B leads to draw details.

It suddenly came to me that I was rambling and a rush of embarrassment came over me as I let go of his hand, apologizing.

- Don't be sorry, I learned something. And it's really cool seeing you so passionate.

Jake smiled and our eyes met, making me aware of how close he was. Reporting my attention to the pencils and faking being busy, I circled him to open my laptop.

- Since you won't be able to move I'll at least let you choose the music.

I heard his laugh behind my back and let him tap something into the search bar. Soon, the sound of a guitar blared through the speakers as he bopped his head playfully, enjoying his pick. Jake took his seat, placing his hair behind his shoulders and ears and looking straight in front of him, in my direction, dead serious like I was about to take his mugshot. He didn't seem awkward nor stressed at all, taking this way more seriously than his brother did. Standing up from my spot, I came to him in order to place him the way I needed him to be.

- I already have this angle, I mumbled as he let me put my hands on his jaw to lightly turn his face to the left. Let's try this one, please raise your chin and look in my direction.

He didn't answer nor moved, just kept his pose as I started quickly sketching, trying not to think of how powerful he looked. Face halfway turned to the side, chin raised proudly, head lightly titled backwards, a rebel strand of hair resting on his cheek while he looked down at me, unimpressed. He was a really good model, standing still with patience and understanding fast what I wanted and how he needed to pose. I let him took breaks between every portraits, telling him earlier that he could move while I kept drawing the small details on his face that I had left unpolished, so he could rest longer. Jake was feeling at home, and doing so. By the time I finished the last pencil portrait, he found his way to the kitchen, bringing us two beers that he took from the fridge, opening mine for me and placing it at my feet where it wasn't risky to stain any piece of work. Sipping his, he stayed behind me, incredibly stressing me out just by staring at my hand put some more shading on the paper version of himself.

- Damn you're talented, he exclaimed next to my shoulder. Do I really look this good ?

His face got just next to mine, between the portrait and me, and I rolled my eyes playfully to hide my bashfulness. He was too close, too close and too pretty, and too in a relationship.

- Fishing for compliments, Kiszka ? Aren't your ego fed enough with these ?

Ignoring him to report my attention to the canvas didn't cut it because Jake faked having a heart attack and let himself fall on Mandy's bed. Finishing the last details, I took a look at my work, pleased with myself. This day had be great, work wise. Some days your hand just refuse to obey, and others it's the exact oppositive, you feel like you have the power to draw anything that crosses your mind. Jake being the model might have helped with that, because it was fairly obvious (at least to me) that his portraits were the best of the series. There was something to them, they seemed to stand out, to glow while the others looked dull in comparision. And I feared my classmates were going to notice it. Clueless as he was, there was no chance Jake will, though.

- Come on, we still have one to do and I'll set you free.

The December sun had already declined a while ago but even if the day was still young I wanted us both to have a free evening, I couldn't monopolize all of his spare time. Behind me, the brunette still lied unmoving on the bed, playing dead. I couldn't help a smile from tugging at the corners of my lips while I rolled my eyes at the sight, gently pushing his foot with mine.

- C'mon Jake, let's go.

He didn't move, body lying on his side, face buried in the covers.

- Jake ?, I called softly.

Did he fell asleep ? I took a step forward to see but could only notice his chest rising peacefully. Was he that tired ? Should I wake him up or let him nap for an hour ? My hand slithered to his knee, pushing it gingerly, but he kept still. He couldn't sleep here, I didn't know when Mandy would come back, and his sleep schedule might get messed up if he slept too much at once. So I knelt on the mattress slowly, sinking on it as it took in my weight. My fingers wrapped around his bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze.

- Jake.

Out of the blue, the boy jumped, grabbing my hand and screaming at me, making my heart pang with panic. That jerk burst into laughter, proud of his joke while my brain was barely figuring out what just happened. When it did, Jake was rolling on his back with a hand holding his belly, letting me slap his arms repeatedly while I showered him with insults for scaring me, completely unabashed and unbothered. When he finally had calmed down, he grabbed my wrist, starting a battle between us where I tried to make him let go of me, struggling to get my arm back, but it wasn’t difficult for him to handle me. Swiftly, he took my other wrist in his free arm and sat on the bed, capturing my waist and lifting me like I was as light as a feather. Ignoring my complaints and yelling in his ear, he placed me on his shoulder before dropping me unceremoniously on the mattress, making it dangerously bend under both of our weights. Both giggling like madmen, I continued trying to escape his hold but it was all too easy for him to block my legs with his when I kicked, and secure both of my wrists in his hand, making it impossible for me to move.

- Okay, I forfeit ! How can you even do that ?

- I did some wrestling in highschool.

Jake's proud smile nearly reached his ears, cheeks flushed and hair completely disheleved. It instantly calmed me down, replacing my laugh by the infamous fast tempo of my heart beating hard against my chest. My smile slowly began to fade away, nervousness taking its place, a tension I didn't know was there making itself way too present now, filling the heavy and warm air between the two of us. Jake seemed to have noticed too, because he lost his smile. For several seconds we just looked at each other in the eye, exchanging out of breath pants and unsure stares. My legs were still locked around his, and my wrists deeply burried in the pillow above my head where his hand kept them in place. The intimate proximity of his wrestling hold kept us close, connecting his pelvis to mine, the realization sending a pleasant wave of heat through my loins, butterflies fluttering their way in my stomach, making me shiver. It seemed to last forever, and yet it was over in an instant. I felt my hands being released slowly and the next thing I knew he was on his feet, back turned to me, straightening his locks. What the fuck had just happened, my brain kept repeating while I imitated him, mouth suddenly dry.

- Should we do the last one ?, Jake offered.

He was back at his seat, and his bright tone, whether it was forced or not, made me feel less awkward for a moment. It didn't last, though. As I stood behind the canvas with my brushes in hand, the intense staring was unavoidable. He had to look my way, so I had no choice but to endure it, trying to be as quick as possible while painting his eyes to avert being more awkward than I already was. I didn't know what he was thinking about, but his eyes were glaring holes through me, making my fingers shake as I tried to concentrate on the purple lines I was tracing, gulping down my beer to give me some confidence. These hours were probably the longest of my life, as painting Jake's face let plenty of time to my mind to run wild and ask a hundred of questions. The music didn't help at all either, the playlist Jake had chosen reaching its end in the middle of our session, abandonning us to the unwelcoming arms of silence. I was growing more uncomfortable as time passed, and Jake whose job was just to motionlessly look at me must without a doubt have noticed the way my face fell.

- Can I ask you a question ?

- Yeah, of course, you can talk I finished your mouth, I replied without looking up.

- Are you and Josh an item or something ?

His voice seemed to echo in the deafening silence of the room. It actually made me put down my brushes, body stiffening, standing still. Did I hear that well ? My head raised up from behind the easle, studying Jake's features for any sign of a joke. What really put me in a panic state was that he was dead serious.

- I'm sorry ?, was all I managed to say.

Boy oh boy did I needed another beer. Jake looked downright awkward now, shifting uncomfortably on his chair and rubbing the palms of his hands on his jean's.

- Are you like, y'know... dating ? Maybe it's not my place to ask, he added quickly, but I always see you guys together these days and you barely answer my texts anymore so I figured-

- We're not.

Me cutting him abruptly took him aback but he closed his mouth and nodded, taking that as his clue to not pursue this conversation. Jake looked apologetic now and I sighed through my nose, putting down my brushes once again.

- I like Josh, I said sincerely. Like a brother. And I know he feels the same.

There was absolutely no doubt about it, I could feel it. And even if I was wrong, if Josh was interested he would've made his move a long time ago, the boy had plenty of occasions, starting with the first time he crashed in our dorm when we were drunk. Now that I was thinking about it, I was relieved he didn't see Mandy and I as more than friends, and even so thankful that he was this kind and safe boy because inviting someone to sleep over after drinking had not been my smartest idea. Josh may have looked soft and cute, but he was still a man, not a child.

- Sorry I was being nosy.

- It's alright, I see where you're coming from.

And I meant it. In retrospect, Jake had reasons to misunderstand. With the whole « he's taken » situation I started spending more time with Josh and less with him, without him knowing why and just seeing the visible tip of the iceberg. It was no wonder he jumped to that conclusion, Josh was a very touchy-feely boy and it was so easy to give in and mimic his behavior, showing our affection towards each other with gestures on a daily basis. And his flirty self didn't seem to be that popular with the ladies with the exception of Mandy and I who found him and his pickup lines hilarious. Add to the mix the whole situation with Jake's girlfriend and Josh's protective attitude and you'll had the perfect misunderstanding. Briefly, I wondered if any other people saw us like that. Sam and Danny for example, or just students we passed by on the halls while being obnoxiously loud.

- It's cool you two get along so much.

I didn't know what to respond to that except a confused affirmative sound. Now was it just me or was Jake beating around the bush ?

- Okay, we're done, you can come take a look at yourself.

The brunette jumped to his feet, taking a few long steps to stand by my side, admiring my work with a shocked yet delighted expression on his face. And while he studied the painting, I studied him, his happy expression making me smile from ear to ear, eyes unable to look away from his face, like they didn't have enough doing so for the whole afternoon. Jake was excitedly pointing to small details, amazed by the fact that I had caught them, noticing in the process things he never witnessed himself on his own head. His fingers hovered dangerously over the fresh paint so I took his hand away as a reflex to prevent him from messing up.

- Easy boy, let it dry first. Hold on, I said before giving him his hand back, what happened to your middle finger ?

- It's silly, I dropped my amp on it. What's funny is that Josh wasn't even the one worrying about it, it was Sam. He was running everywhere saying we had to call a doctor over, he thought my nail was gonna fall off it made him freak out.

The memory of it made him chuckle, and his cheerful expression warmed my heart.

- You really have a beautiful smile.

Jake's laughter came to an abrupt stop and it was his time to observe me now, probably noticing how fast my face changed color to a darker shade while I realized I just complimented him out loud.

- Oh yeah ?, he replied with a smirk. You really have a beautiful stain.

Oh no, I thought I had been extra careful this time, acrylic painting was a pain to get rid off. My clothes would be possibly ruined now and it was starting to be difficult to find an unstained outfit to wear, as I refused to put on an apron. While I was squirming to find paint on me, Jake took a step closer.

- Here.

The moment I raised my head he booped my nose, making me blink a few times before I realized something wasn't right. The tip of my nose felt strangely cold and if I crossed my eyes I could see a purple stain on it. Fucker just put some paint on my face.

- Oh you wanna play that game with me ?

Next thing he knew, a purple line was crossing his cheek and the glare he gave me at that moment while I could barely contain my laughter made me run for my life. Jake was quick to chase me, wooden palette in one hand, the other dodging the different items I threw his way in an attempt to slow him down. We looked positively crazy, running around the kitchen table shouting and screaming with a mix of fear and excitment. It was exhilirating and some memories of our race in the hallways a few weeks ago flashed through my mind. Jake caught me between the sink and the table, blocking the way out with his body, holding the palette full of several nuances of purple in the air like a weapon of mass destruction.

- You thought you were gonna get away with it ?

- Pleasepleaseplease, I laughed out of breath, not my clothes !

- You're lucky I'm feeling merciful today.

Two of his fingers dug deeply in the paint before spreading themselves on my forehead, other hand keeping my face in place while I slipped to the floor in order to escape. When my butt hit the ground Jake's did the same, smudging the paint on my forehead and even wipping his fingers on my cheeks. Quick to reach the palette, my tainted fingers caughed his jaw area, leaving four distinct lines of paint on his mouth and chin, shaking with laughter as his eyes widen as big as they could. In a desperate attempt to run away, I climbed over his leg, crawling my way back to the bedroom before I felt myself being pulled backwards, crying for help.

He went as far as lifting my sweater' sleeves to mark my arms too, and we laid on the kitched floor completely spent, giggling stupidly and playfully elbowing each other in the ribs.

- I missed it, sighed Jake.

- Body painting ?

- Spending time together.

That made my heart constrict painfully, and my smile drop. Jake didn't see, as we were both staring at the ceiling, exhausted. I never expected that he would enjoy hanging out with me enough to miss it. Guilt invited itself to the party, causing me to shift awkwardly on the ground.

- Me too.

I replied with a low, shy voice, barely a whisper, but I knew he was close enough to hear it. It was sincere, I had missed it every single day. And I could only wish for us to spend moments like these for the rest of our lives. But it remained and will remain a dream. And as it all came with a price, sobs began coming down my throat as soon as Jake had left the dorms.

The week passed quietly, with me succeeding in handling all of my homework to my teachers and earning some praises in the process. We were Friday, after our last lecture together with the twins before Christmas Holidays came in. Lunch took place in the staircase because Josh thought it was an important date or something about returning to our roots before not seeing each other for two weeks or something. To be fair, we didn't care as long as we were together for our last meal of the year, having ordered fries and burgers to mark the occasion, chatting excitedly about our plans.

- Christmas Holidays are for stuffing your stomach and drinking to endure family gatherings, stated Mandy while stealing some fries from Jake before he handed them over.

- And here I thought Christmas was about sharing, to think I did it wrong all those years.

Jake's sass earned him a flying frie that he grabbed and ate while Josh took the opportunity to explain his long list of things he wanted to do, speaking with his hands and nearly slapping his brother multiple times in the process.

- First I'm going hiking, then I want us to play some music at home with our family, he added looking at Jake, then I'll decore the tree and put the star on top, and then bake some Christmas cookies, and OH we'll sing some songs in front of the fireplace, and exchange gifts, I already have Ronnie's one she's gonna love it, you stand no chance in being her favorite brother this year Jake.

Squinting my eyes, I kept listening as he rambled on about some gigantic Christmas market in their city that you have to be careful not to get lost in it, and wearing animal sweaters and drinking eggnog and I just... lost track. Some part of me really hoped Christmas was his favorite holiday and that he wasn't that enthusiastic about every single one because then I'd start sending « get well soon » cards to their family.

- What about you ?, I asked Jake, completely ignoring Josh's endless monologue now a background noise.

A sheepish smile played across his face while he idly played with his food.

- Mina's birthday is around the corner so I already made a reservation at a local restaurant. Then I want to bring her to a spot near the mountains I found one day when we were hiking. If the sky is clear enough we'll be able to see the stars. I'll give her her present there.

- It's the perfect plan !, encouraged Mandy.

- Right ? Last time we spoke on the phone she said she had something to tell me so I can't wait to go home.

I could see we were all uncomfortable and that she was faking cheerfulness for his sake, because none of us were excited about it, not even Josh who took a bite of one of his fries only to immediately put it down with the others. Contrary to him, I forced a smile, not wanting to spoil Jake's enthusiasm. To be fair it was a fantastic date idea, and somehow it made me feel worse. I just genuinely hoped that girl knew how lucky she was.

AN² : Next chapter will be in a week or more because I have some stuff to do work-wise, also to give me time to write more, but mainly so that you really experience that Christmas Holiday without Jake. Now am I a bitch ? Maaaaybe, but I thought it’d be interesting to do! See you!

[artificialqueens]

nobody knows where we might end up, chapter four (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr)

“Dr. Cain told Dr. Miller who told Dr. Edwards who told me that she saw you two practically ready to bite each other’s heads off in the hallway a few days ago.” Dr. O’Hara ends her statement with a bite of her salad, eyes expectant.

“Jesus, what is this, the hospital from Grey’s Anatomy? Do y’all ever actually work or just gossip here?” So maybe she’s feeling a little grumpy about it. Also because she’s not sure which time it is that Dr. O’Hara is talking about.

AN: Thank you so much for the sweet responses to this story! I love it so, so much. In this chapter, we have soft baby gays in the past, and a bit of hospital gossip in the present. Writ is the most wonderful friend and beta ever.

(then)

“Has anyone told you that you’re nuts? ‘Cause you’re nuts.”

Vanessa’s staring at Brooke’s review for the midterm, and holy shit. The colour coordination. The diagrams. It’s as if she’s going to be graded on artistic ability.

Brooke snorts at her dumbstruck face. “Honestly, it helps me to consolidate all the information, making it all pretty and organized. It’s helpful. My notes aren’t as extensive as yours, though.”

Brooke reaches out to grab Vanessa’s midterm review, a haphazard collection of handwritten notes that she’s meticulously copied again and again. Vanessa’s found a strategy that works for her, especially when it comes to information heavy subjects - rewrite, rewrite, rewrite.

Though it does make her notes look a bit chaotic. And unreadable to anyone who isn’t familiar with her handwriting.

But hey, it works for her.

“Organized chaos, is what mine is.” Her wrist aches with a phantom pain as she thumbs through the pages, remembering the strain as she wrote line after line.

Vanessa leans over the table, looks over at the diagram that Brooke is drawing of the renal system. Her coloured pencils are spread out beside her, because of course Brooke has coloured pencils to make her diagrams even more pretty.

Vanessa picks up the yellow coloured pencil, a smile playing on her lips. “Don’t forget this one when you have to colour in the pee.”

Brooke wrinkles her nose. “Ugh, when you say it like that-”

Vanessa snickers. “Nephrology is wack. I’m glad we’re both in agreement about that.”

“It is cool, though.” Vanessa can see the gears in Brooke’s brain start to turn as she traces a finger over the diagrams that she’s drawn on the page. “Like the fact that sodium is so involved? And the amount that our body retains water is totally dependent on balancing concentration levels in a substance, which is something we learned in what, grade ten? I love it.”

“You’re cute when you’re all excited over pee.” Vanessa can’t help but cackle when Brooke groans at her statement.

“I’m not excited over pee- ”

“Yes you are. Pee lover.”

“Hush.” Brooke lifts up her notes to lightly smack Vanessa’s shoulder with them, making her squeal and lean back in her chair. The action nearly makes Vanessa fall off, and when she catches herself on the edge of the table, the two of them are laughing hard enough that Vanessa’s sure that a librarian is going to come to shush them at any second.

They get back to work after Brooke goes to the bathroom (‘don’t get too excited about going pee in there’), finishing up their respective midterm reviews and quizzing each other. Vanessa checks her watch, sighs as the time for her 6 pm lecture ticks closer and closer.

“I gotta go.” Vanessa doesn’t want to. Switching to a different lecture so that she can spend more time with Brooke would be silly, right?

She tells herself that for now.

“Have fun in class. I’ll study nephrology all by my lonesome.” Brooke fake pouts up at her, and Vanessa rolls her eyes good naturedly.

“You say that as if you’re not going to have the time of your life.”

Brooke sticks her tongue out, a gesture that Vanessa returns right back at her. She pauses when she’s packed up all of her things, letting the words rush out before she loses the nerve to say them.

“Hey, if you’re still studying in the evening and don’t have dinner plans, wanna come over later? I was planning on making something in our suite kitchen. We can keep quizzing each other while making food, if you want.”

Because, yep, that’s the only reason she’s asking Brooke to hang out even more today. To study while they cook.

She’s so transparent that she can see through herself sometimes.

Brooke blinks up at her before grinning, and she’s back to her shyness from when they first started talking. “Yeah. Sure, that would be fun. We’ll be even more prepared for the midterm then.

Yep. Prepared for the midterm.

Vanessa will take it, though. Because really, school is the priority, right?

She grins at Brooke. “Perfect. I’ll text you when class is done?”

“Sounds good.” Brooke waves her phone around in her hand. “I’ll be waiting.”

“I bet you will. Now go back to learning about pee so you can quiz me about it later.”

Vanessa skips down the hallway as Brooke groans, smiling to herself. The two hours of lecture she has to get through before their dinner better fly by.

“Silky. Silky. What have I done?”

“You’ve inv-“

“I’ve invited her over to make dinner together, Silky!” Vanessa practically yelps it, vibrating with nervous energy as she dances around their suite’s kitchen, pulling ingredients that she had bought earlier in the day from the communal fridge and cupboards.

“Do you think she even likes stir fry? I just bought the stuff in the morning ‘cause it’s easy. I didn’t think I was gonna invite her for dinner. ” Vanessa punctuates the last four words with raps on the counter.

Silky munches away on her own dinner at the table, watching her as if she’s a nature documentary. “Who doesn’t like stir fry? It’s easy as shit and always tastes good.”

“What if she has some sort of weird stir fry trauma? Had food poisoning with it and now hates it more than anything in the world?“

There’s a rap on their door, then, and Vanessa looks at Silky in panic.

“Well, now you get to find out. I’m taking my dinner to our room.” With that, Silky takes her plate, shutting the door behind her.

She can do this. It’s only another studying session, this time with food involved. She opens the door to the suite, finds a wide eyed Brooke behind it.

“Hey, I brought two bite brownies for dessert? I wasn’t sure if you liked chocolate or not, but two bite brownies are always good, and they were in the campus store, and-”

Vanessa can’t help but melt as Brooke cuts herself off, drawing in a breath. Did she really have anything to worry about?

“Sorry.” Brooke looks at her sheepishly, taking a step into the suite when Vanessa holds the door open more to let her in.

“For what?” Vanessa grins at her. “You like stir fry?”

They work together as a team, chopping the vegetables and making the noodles like a well oiled machine while tossing questions from the nephrology unit back and forth at one another.

“True or false,” Brooke starts as she drains the noodles, “Renin secretion is influenced by potassium.”

“False.” Vanessa points the spatula at Brooke. “Sodium influences it. Low sodium means that more is released. ”

“Perfect.” Brooke grins at her, bringing the noodles over so that Vanessa can pour the stir fry mix on top. “You’ve been killing all these questions.”

“So have you. I feel pretty good about this unit.” Vanessa sticks her hand out for a high five, one that Brooke returns. “What do you say we take a studying break and eat?”

They curl up on the couch, and Vanessa barely has a chance to bring a bite to her lips before Brooke exclaims loud enough to be heard by the rest of the floor. “Vanessa, this is so good!”

“Yeah?” Her answer is muffled by her bite but she’s thrilled nonetheless, feeling like she wants to get up and dance around. It’s a feeling that only increases when Brooke nods.

“Yeah. I’m definitely gonna need seconds. Maybe thirds? Kind of want to sneak all this back to my room with me. Who knows?”

Vanessa grins. “No need for that, B. You can always come back and we can make it again.”

Brooke points her fork at her. “I’m going to take you up on it.”

“Why else do you think I offered?” She knows that her grin in Brooke’s direction is stupidly happy, solely for the fact that Brooke is reflecting the same facial expression back at her.

Vanessa likes her. A lot. More than just in class, more than when they just study together.

Not that it’s a big deal.

Brooke nudges her side with her elbow. “We spend so much time talking about school and class-”

“-and currently pee, thanks to the nephrology unit-”

Brooke snorts. “-and currently pee. As I was saying, we barely have the chance to talk about anything else, it’s so rare. So, I want to know you more. Tell me something.”

“Like what? That’s an open ended question.” What does Brooke even want to know?

Brooke shrugs. “I don’t know. Tell me more about your family, maybe?”

Vanessa leans forward in her spot, taking a sip of her drink before she speaks. “Okay. Well, it’s me and my mom and my older brother. And my abuela. We make a nice little unit.” She loves her family, really does. Misses them like crazy while she’s at school, especially her mom's cooking, which she appreciates now more than ever after having being made to cook for herself.

“That sounds nice. Are you all close?” Brooke leans her cheek on her hand, listening intently, and her focus makes Vanessa flush under her gaze a bit.

“Yeah. Real close. My mom’s always been supportive, y’know? Through everything. Gotten a couple of ass whoopings along the way, but they’ve always been deserved. I was a demon child.” Vanessa thinks back to herself as a kid, giving her mom more stress than she deserved at the time, acting out.

“But we’re closer now. Which is nice.” Vanessa shrugs, smiling a little. She needs to call her mom soon, catch up with her. “Being away at school makes us appreciate each other more.”

Brooke smiles back. “She sounds like a lovely mom.”

“She is.” Vanessa nudges her. “What about you, what’s your family like?”

Brooke shrugs. “They’re okay. I like being away at school, if that tells you anything.”

Vanessa raises an eyebrow. “That bad, huh?”

Brooke shifts in her chair, trying to explain. “No, not bad, per se. Just…stressful? Wound up?”

“That’s not easy, though.” Vanessa’s glad that her mom isn’t like that. She wants to do the best she can, make her happy, but her mom never acts as if she’s anything but proud of her.

“No. It isn’t.” Brooke fiddles with the couch cushion beside her. “They’re just always expecting perfection on my end, y’know? And I’m trying to give it to them. I want to. I should be able to.”

Now that makes a lot of sense. It explains Brooke’s need to do the absolute best, her panic that sets in when she feels like she hasn’t studied enough. The way Brooke calms down during their study sessions when she starts to understand things better.

“You can’t, though. No one can. No one’s perfect.” Vanessa has to resist an urge to grab Brooke’s hand, rub her thumb in little circles over her palm. “You can only do the best you can.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Brooke doesn’t look too convinced.

“If everyone was perfect, we’d all be boring as shit. Nothing fun to make us all different. We wouldn’t have anything to still work towards, either.” Vanessa pulls her feet up on the couch, scooching closer to Brooke. “You work your ass off and it already shows. I’m sure they can see that.”

Brooke bites her lip. “I hope so.”

“If not, I see it. Everyone else here sees it. You’re amazing.” The words tumble from Vanessa’s mouth before she can stop them, making her want to clap a hand over her mouth.

Way to make her feelings known. She’s probably gonna scare Brooke off.

She wants to take the words back, apologize for overstepping, but Brooke’s smile is soft on her face. “You’re the amazing one, helping me study and feeding me and being more than amazing company.”

“I’m glad I sat beside you during our first class. Not that I had a choice.” Vanessa thinks back to their first lecture, where she had come in late and it had been plenty embarrassing.

“All I remember from that class is how much your leg was shaking for most of it.” Brooke looks at her with a grin. “Thank goodness you don’t do that all the time.”

“I was nervous! It was the first class! Plus, I was sitting beside you and you looked really intimidating.” It’s true. Brooke looked mean at first glance.

Brooke looks at her in surprise. “Really?”

Vanessa scoffs. “Please. As if you didn’t know that already. You were glaring at me the whole time.”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry.” Brooke’s cheeks are pink. “In my defense…I was nervous too?”

Vanessa snorts. “Sure, whatever. It’s all good. Your tune changed real fast as soon as I opened my mouth to talk to you, anyway.”

“How so?”

“You got all shy on me.”

Now Brooke is the one to look indignant, eyebrows raised to contradict her statement. “I did not.”

Vanessa snickers. “Yes you did. All stuttering on your words and shit.” As if Brooke doesn’t make her stumble on her own words, too.

“That is completely false and you know it.”

Vanessa is about to retort, words on her tongue about how she’s nothing but truthful, but then Brooke is tickling her sides, making her squirm on the couch.

“Playing dirty!” Vanessa sticks her hands out to tickle Brooke back, give her a taste of her own medicine, but Brooke doesn’t even flinch under her touch.

“Wait.” Vanessa pauses, narrowing her eyes. “You’re not ticklish?”

“Nope.” Brooke pops the ‘p’ at the end of the word, with a grin at Vanessa that is way too smug.

“Unfair!”

Brooke giggles at her dramatics and it spurs Vanessa on further, flopping herself lower onto the couch.

“Unbelievable. Not even ticklish.”

“But you are. And it’s a fact that I will absolutely use to my advantage.” Brooke looks too happy, too thrilled about the turn of events.

Vanessa fixes her with a look. She wouldn’t. “Don’t you dare.”

“Don’t I dare what?”

“You know exactly what-” Vanessa shrieks because Brooke tickles her again, climbing on top of her as they’re both giggling.

“Mercy, mercy.” Vanessa holds a hand up and Brooke acquiesces, stopping. It’s then that Vanessa notices that Brooke is still on top of her, close enough that she can smell her shampoo, feel her hair that’s falling in front of her face and brushing against her arms.

Woah.

Brooke evidently notices at the same time, her eyes widening. She’s about to say something, maneuvering her arm so that she doesn’t fall off of Vanessa when-

“Sup, bitches?”

Vanessa groans, dropping her head against the back of the couch. Typical.

“Hi?” Brooke climbs off of Vanessa at lightning speed, straightening herself out in the couch beside her.

Silky fixes them both with a knowing grin. “Don’t mind me, grabbing a snack.”

Vanessa sighs as Brooke is back on her side of the couch, introducing herself to Silky as she fixes herself a sandwich.

Moment gone.

(now)

Vanessa pulls off her gloves, gown, and mask, tossing them into the waste disposal before washing her hands. She grins as Dr. Michaels comes up behind her, smile of approval clear on the woman’s face.

“Nice job, Dr. Mateo. Off to a great start.”

Her first surgery at her new job? Successfully completed. Sure, it had been a simple ablation procedure, but Vanessa feels great.

She’s been hired here as the cardiothoracic head for a reason. She’s gonna show everyone that the chief made the right decision.

“Thanks. You were great to work with in there. That ablation was smooth.”

“You’re damn right about that.” Dr. Michaels holds out a fist, and Vanessa bumps it right back.

Dr. Michaels pulls off her scrub cap, holding the door open for Vanessa to go through. “Lunch?”

“Absolutely.”

They grab a table in the cafeteria, joined by Dr. O’Hara and another doctor that she’s never met who looks like she should still be doing her undergrad degree. Vanessa sticks out a hand to introduce herself.

The woman shakes it. “Dr. St. Clair. Cardiothoracic resident.”

Vanessa’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “You’re a resident? I swear I thought you were-”

“An intern?” Dr. St. Clair laughs, shaking her head. “Yeah. I get that a lot. Looking young as a doctor isn’t the most helpful in getting patients to respect you.”

“So,” Dr. O’Hara’s voice is conspiratorial as she takes out her lunch, “what’s the gossip on you and Dr. Hytes?”

Vanessa nearly chokes on her sandwich. “What do you mean?” It’s interspersed with coughs, prompting Dr. Michaels to pat her on the back.

“Dr. Cain told Dr. Miller who told Dr. Edwards who told me that she saw you two practically ready to bite each other’s heads off in the hallway a few days ago.” Dr. O’Hara ends her statement with a bite of her salad, eyes expectant.

“Jesus, what is this, the hospital from Grey’s Anatomy? Do y’all ever actually work or just gossip here?” So maybe she’s feeling a little grumpy about it. Also because she’s not sure which time it is that Dr. O’Hara is talking about.

She and Dr. Hytes have fallen into a routine of sorts for their joint consult on the upcoming surgery. Vanessa feels like she’s defending her fucking thesis from the way that Dr. Hytes continues to question her abilities concerning the procedure. It’s absolutely infuriating, and lead to many shouting matches in the conference rooms.

The Brooke she remembers from undergrad would never have been like this. Disrespecting her at every turn, acting like a fucking bitch. Acting like she’s better than everyone else. But Vanessa knows her, and Dr. Hytes is not. Vanessa has never wanted to put her in her place more.

But she’s also just started. She doesn’t want to look unprofessional and get fired before she can make any leeway as an attending surgeon.

Besides, if she gets fired, it means that Dr. Hytes wins.

“You didn’t answer the question.” Dr. Michaels and Dr. O’Hara look like a buddy cop duo, resting their elbows on the table, while Dr. St. Clair watches attentively.

“She just rubs me the wrong way, that’s all.” No way is Vanessa going to bring their history - ancient history, at that - up to her coworkers. No one else’s business.

Dr. Michaels shoots a conspiratorial look at Dr. O’Hara. “Seems like a lot of emotion for just rubbing someone the wrong way.”

Vanessa shrugs. “Maybe I’m just an emotional person.” It’s not a lie, not really.

“Not only from you,” Dr. O’Hara lowers her voice, “From her, too.”

“Yeah?” Vanessa raises an eyebrow.

“Mhm.” Dr. O’Hara nods at her. “I’ve seen that woman have maybe five emotions max while working here. She’s usually unflappable. Since you’ve gotten here, though? The woman is pissed.”

Vanessa can’t help the satisfied smile that settles on her face. “Good.”

Let Dr. Hytes be pissed. Especially since she’s been causing Vanessa so much grief. It’s what she deserves to feel.

“See!” Dr. O’Hara points at her. “There’s something you’re not telling us, and I know it. We’re gonna find out.”

Vanessa snorts, taking another bite of her sandwich. “Good luck with that.”

“Dr. West, you wanted to see me?”

“Come in.” Dr. West’s voice is warm when Vanessa knocks on her office door, though it does little to assuage the way her heart feels like it’s sinking in her chest.

She doesn’t know why the chief of surgery has called her in for a meeting, though has a sneaking suspicion it’s about a certain neurosurgeon attending. Maybe Dr. West has had it and wants to get rid of her - Vanessa wouldn’t be surprised if Dr. Hytes has complained about her. The bitch.

“I wanted to touch base with you about your first few weeks here, see that everything is going away.” Dr. West is smiling at her, and doesn’t look too mad - perhaps a good sign?

“It’s been great so far. Everyone is incredibly welcoming.” Not a lie, for the most part - not that she’s going to bring up Dr. Hytes, not when her and Dr. West seem like they’re friendly with each other.

“That’s good to hear.” Dr. West is looking at Vanessa with an expression she can’t quite decipher, and it makes her want to squirm in her seat. She can’t tell how much the chief actually knows.

Vanessa’s pretty sure that Dr. West hadn’t been in the attending locker room in the morning. when Dr. Hytes had interrupted her conversation with Dr. Miller about ICU stay lengths at her previous hospital, muttering that it seemed to be counterproductive for patient health. So maybe Vanessa had to give Dr. Hytes a piece of her mind - so what if such arguments are becoming a daily occurrence? As long as they’re not disrupting patient care, Vanessa’s going to fight back every time.

Vanessa’s not one to take things lying down. She doesn’t care if the other doctors in this hospital are. Dr. Hytes doesn’t scare her. Sure, the way her eyes narrow in her direction and the way she stares down at her make her heart feel like it’s  beating a little faster sometimes - but it’s just adrenaline.

“So.” Dr. West leans forward in her seat, opening up her clipboard. “A change I implemented here a few years back when I became chief was more opportunities for interdisciplinary collaboration. More work with doctors outside our immediate disciplines - to build more connections between everyone despite all of our differences and interests.”

“Okay.” Vanessa nods, not sure where Dr. West is going.

“I understand that you already have a joint surgery coming up with Dr. Hytes soon.” Dr. West looks up from her clipboard, holding Vanessa’s gaze for a little too long.

She tries her best to keep her face neutral. “That’s right.”

“How has the preparation for the case been going so far?”

Vanessa channels her best poker face. “It’s been alright, thank you. Dr. Hytes is incredibly smart.” Not a lie.

“I’m glad you think so.” Dr. West goes back to her notes, pushing her glasses up on her nose with her index finger. “One initiative I’ve started with new surgery hires is having them shadow surgeries in a few other disciplines. Have the opportunity to see how others do things, ask questions about unfamiliar procedures, participate in interdisciplinary information sharing.”

“I see.”

“I know you’ve been here for a few weeks and seem to be settling in well. Would this still be something that you’d be interested in?”

From the way that Dr. West is looking at her, she’s not sure if she has a choice in her answer. “It would be pretty educational to shadow in some other disciplines. Haven’t done that since I was a resident.”

Vanessa isn’t lying, per se. It would be pretty cool. It’s just that she already as an idea of who Dr. West wants her to shadow for neuro already-

“I think it would be a great idea for you to shadow Dr. Hytes for one of her procedures, especially before your joint one in a few weeks. You can get to know her a bit more. We can start with that.”

Fuck.

“The surgery is to remove an arteriovenous malformation. Do you happen to know what that is, or do you need a refresher?” Dr. Hytes sneers it at her as she braids her hair back (still as blonde, still as long as it used to be) and Vanessa wants to smack the smug look off of her face.

“I’ve taken neuro, Dr. Hytes, my memory isn’t that shit.” Vanessa scoffs. Of course Dr. Hytes is on her high horse already.

Vanessa is not looking forward to shadowing her in the least. She doesn’t care how she operates, she doesn’t give a shit over how people fawn over her. Hell, if it weren’t for their joint surgery coming up, she probably would have found a way to decline Dr. West.

But at the same time…she needs intel. Needs to know what to expect before they have to step into an operating room as colleagues, so that it doesn’t blow up in their faces.

Doesn’t mean she has to be happy about it.

“If you say so. Keep out of my way in there. This is my surgery, and I’d like to keep it running as smooth as the rest of the ones I do.” Vanessa rolls her eyes at Dr. Hytes’ words. So damn cocky.

“I want to be here as little as you do. As if I’d want to be up in your face during this. Chill.” She pulls on her scrub cap, one with little dogs all over it that she couldn’t resist buying as a resident. It remains her favourite.

“Whatever. Just don’t get in my way.” The words are cold as Dr. Hytes pulls on her own scrub cap, and Vanessa has to suppress a groan because of course .

Dr. Hytes’ scrub cap has little cats all over it. Typical.

“Fine.” So what if Vanessa’s a bit haughty when she says it? “As long as you don’t get in mine.”

The growl that emanates from Dr. Hytes in response is enough to make her smirk more than she should.

[drowseoftaylor]

a concept: a fun day on the beach with Brian! like playing in the water / volleyball / chasing each other / whatever you'd like to write!! and you're both soaked and sandy so the cuddling is uncomfortable but you snuggle up anyway because you're so happy uwu

fun in the sun with Bri?? oh hell yes

--

The sun radiated down on you from the clear blue skies above on that 90 degree day. The five of you had travelled down to Brighton Pier for a beach day by the seaside. It was a rarity that a heat wave would pass though the UK and since the boys now had free time after being back from ridge Farm, you were determined to make the most of it.

There you lay face up on Brian’s yellow and blue striped towel and a distant umbrella to your right shading the both of you. Freddie, John, and Roger went to go grab some drinks for the five of you while Brian and you lay in the sun and chat the moments away.

As a comfortable silence lay upon you and your love, Brian moved to plug his finger over a bendy straw that lay over the edge of a plastic water bottle in between your two relaxed bodies.

You had your arms crossed over your eyes and your chest heaved up and down as you took a deep breath and breathed all of the scent of the saltwater and sun tan lotion in. He moved the straw up and out of the bottle and used his other arm to prop his head up and lay on his side. He let the ice cold water droplets drip from the straw from your parted lips and then slowly down your neck and down your sternum until it reached the top of your bikini bottoms.

“What’re you doing, baby?” you asked smiling and dropping your arms around his neck as he looked up at you adoringly.

“Cooling you off...” he said trailing off as he lent down and licked a stripe from the top of your bottoms, up your stomach, between the valley of your breasts and then stopping at your collarbone and coming back up to place a sweet kiss to the corner of your lips. You let out a shaky breath and a drowsy yet sweet look creeped upon his face.

A small giggle fell from your lips and you quickly pushed his shoulder so he fell flat on his back and you laid on top of him, your arms crossed on his chest as you put your chin down on your forearms and looked up at him.

“You look so perfect in the sunshine. I never get to see you in it because we live in such a cloudy place.” you said quietly and starting to draw shapes on his toned bare chest.

He took a towel and propped his head up behind him and started to run his hands up and down your sides which made you lazily smile. His touch always made you melt.

“Hmm, that reminds me, y/n.” He said shifting to sit up and both of your sweaty skin peeled off each other and you sat on your knees next to him as he rummaged to get something in this beach bad next to him.

He pulled out a long and slender baby pink box and handed it to you. You sheepishly took it and looked up to him.

“What is this?”

“A little something for my sunshine.” He said tracing a heart shape on your knee as he leaned on his elbow and cocked his head to the side, looking up at your as you opened the box. Your face lit up as you saw a yellow sun charm on a black velvet string that glowed on this bright and sunny day. Simple, but beautiful.

“Oh Brian, I love it. It’s so pretty.”

“Turn it over, love.” He said sitting up.

You did what he asked and a small ‘B’ is engraved on the back of it. 

“This is so sweet, I love you.” You say giving him a lingering and deep kiss as he reciprocated and moved behind you so he could put it on. He pulls your hair to one side of your shoulder and gives it a kiss when he clamps the necklace on.

“Hmm, so bright.” He mumbles in your neck and pulls you down with him onto the sand as your back falls on his torso causing you to squeal with excitement.

“What’s bright? The sun?” You say still laughing and giggling as he lightly tickled your torso.

“No silly, you. Your laugh, your smile. It just makes my world so bright.” He said sweetly smiling as your sweaty and sandy bodies mesh together but you didn't mind. Not when it came to Brian. No matter where you two where, it was just the two of you.

You were just about to turn your head and kiss him when footsteps come up behind you.

“If you two aren’t trying to get arrested for public indecency then I suggest you two stop.” Roger says handing you a red slushily and Brian a blue one while shaking his head dramatically.

“Taylor, you’re right dumb aren’t ya? Public indecency is when you're nude in public, not cuddling.” You laugh as you lean back into Brian once more.

“Yeah, I know, but seeing you two like that is just as bad.” He says kicking a little sand your way and Freddie and John snicker.

“Come, swim with us, y/n!” John says slipping his shirt off and Freddie doing the same. Roger already grabbing his shark floatie.

“You coming, B?” You say putting your drink down in the shade and standing up while reaching out for Brian’s hand.

“No, lovie. Just gonna sit and watch for a bit, yeah? I’ll join you in a bit.” He said kissing your hand and giving it a little shake side to side.

You smile sweetly at him and grab Freddie’s hand as you race towards the water and the four of you start splashing each other and squealing at the coolness of the ocean blue water.

Brian stays back to admire his summer loving girl having a blast and smiling so wide which made his heart jump. 

His sunshine. 

--

Hey!! This is my first blurb and I hope you all like it! Thank you to @im-addicted-to-queen for this really cute idea. feedback is always appreciated :)

[jungxk]

slkgjfslkdfb i'm so excited that you're writing the next chapter! but also take care of yourself and take your time! i enjoy your presence on this hell site regardless if you're writing! also curious of what made jungkook your bias if you don't mind me asking?

😭😭why are you so sweet i love u!!💝💝💝💝💝ive written about half of it now so i’m hoping to get it up within the next few days so fingers crossed!!!

and ofc i don’t mind you asking bb i hope You don’t mind that i’m about to go on a jungkook rant😖so i got into bts in my first year of uni in 2016 just as bst came out. i still maintain that that was their best ever comeback. but anyway within the first few seconds jimin was the one that made me😦bc he just looks so! otherworldly handsome in that video they all do but jimin particularly! i think that’s why he’s so special to me out of the boys he’s always gonna be That guy for me uno. also we have the same birthday so can i say Soulmate!!!!!

but anyway my jimin bias lasted for exactly 0.2 seconds bc then jungkook moved to centre in the choreo and oh. my god. my body had a physical reaction fshsghs like chills and everything! his stage presence, visuals, voice, bst rlly brought out the best in him. there was also this particular frame i have screenshotted which is the EXACT moment i knew i wouldn’t be able to get over this guy for the rest of my life rip

like how beautiful is his makeup and styling and stage presence here it’s working perfectly together like a well oiled machine FUCK. this is what i mean about bst being the pinnacle of their career don’t @ me. but ANYWAY this was the move that made me go okay. dunno who this guy is but he owns my ass now so there’s that lol. to this day bst jungkook is still my ultimate weakness, i blush just thinking about him PLS !

but the way jungkook climbed to love of my life status wasn’t rlly from his looks, vocals etc tbh. i wasn’t new to kpop at this point and what rlly struck me about him was how goofy and Himself he was in every show, he’s a silly boy and he acts like one and doesn’t give a shit and i LOVE that, i’m enamoured by that vulnerability and sincerity. i mean if i was a celeb i don’t think i’d be able to show my real self on camera as much as he does tbh, but even if he is putting up a persona which is totally understandable, jungkook’s ability to come across as genuine and Real in a sea of male idols that are constantly trying to be “cool” and “manly” is unmatched imo. he never hesitates to look like an idiot in front of cameras just to make others laugh and i adore that. that boyish quality about him just so endearing, i think because he remains polite and humble throughout it which also another massive seller for me. it’s probably bc he’s the youngest to have been around cameras so he literally grew up in front of the camera if that makes sense? but yeah those things also enhance his already good looks for me so my heart still often flatlines when i see a particular low quality, no makeup, acne scarred, chubby and tanned pic of him😖that’s my favourite jungkook fyi! don’t get me wrong i love made up suited up stage jungkook - but no makeup jungkook? with a few pimples and 10kg heavier with a tummy and tanned ASIAN skin that isn’t made to look 5 shades too white? big nose big teeth eye crinkles smiling jungkook? he is My Love. nothing more i can say.

i think another big factor in him becoming my bias is that in a weird way, me and jungkook have a lot of similarities that i wouldn’t expect to share with a boy like him? we’re both perfectionists, both really introverted and enjoy time to ourselves, both love to sing, to draw, to create in general. we’re both pretty shy and we also have a habit of starting stuff and never finishing it bc we’re passionate about so many things at once. he’s also the baby of the group and i’m the baby of every group too lol. we’re also rlly laid back in some instances like maybe even Too laid back at times (ie spacing out a lot and Not Speaking) but then when it comes to something we care about we give it 110% until it kills us. i rlly empathise with that quality in him and i understand that constant need to better oneself even with a trophy sitting in my hand. don’t get me wrong we’re also polar opposites in other ways like i HATE sports and i’m not patient enough for photography, can’t dance for shit etc etc lol but i think our fundamental ethos lines up nicely. plus, he’s a 97 baby and i’m a 96 baby, and i always think “wow if we went to the same school we’d be in the same year!” bc my school was split up like that lol. he’d be one those boys that i’d probably bully from ages 12-15 but then he got hot in our final year and suddenly i avoid him like the plague☠️

so yeah i guess jungkook being my bias isn’t so much to do with his idol abilities but more who he is as a person. i empathise with him a lot and at the same time get a lot of comfort knowing that someone like him - who i share these traits with - succeeded. i enjoy seeing him do well but ngl i have a competitive streak so watch out babe!

HOWEVER i should mention that although jungkook will always be My Guy and #1 in my lovesick heart, i technically am triple biased for jungkook, yoongi and jimin. if those 3 ever had a kid it’d be me but i guess that will take another ask to explain! thank you for this question tho b it put me in a rlly good mood💖xoxo

[let-me-make-you-proud]

Tangled: The series Q&A with Chris and Ricky.

This is a recapitulation from today’s (July 1st, 2018) Questions and Answers sessions with Chris and Ricky on the Tangled Discord Server.

They did their Q&A sessions separately, so the first part of this post are from Chris session, while the second part is from Ricky’s session.

Chris’ session.

Q: Was any form of martial arts used as reference to Adira’s fighting style? A: Tt’s tough to keep her style consistent because our board teams rotate and so do the animators... you’ll see the style change a bit.

Q: I noticed that Rapunzel's new outfit is really reminiscent of Belle's blue-white dress in Beauty and the Beast, only more geared for the wear and tears of adventure and long distance traveling. Was that an intentional nod by any chance? A: Not intentional. We just wanted her to be a little more... flexible. Adventurous. We worked very hard on it.

Q: Where did the inspiration come from for Adira's outfit? A: Adria’s was very much Ben’s creation. I believe it’s very influenced by Korean costumes.

Q: How did you design her personality? A: Well, we wanted her to be intimidating, yet funny and quirky. We all have friends like that! She needed to have this feeling that.... You don’t know whether to trust her or not!!!

Q:  Does the caravan have an actual name? A: Ya know? It doesn’t! We just called it the caravan! 

Q: How do you decide on the perfect names for the characters you introduce?  A: I tend to spend a lot of time on names. They mean a lot to me. I pick some and the writers pick some. I can’t really discuss how we come up with them.

Q: Is it confirmed that Cassandra is 23 years old? A: No age’s are confirmed. Only Rapunzel.

Q: Who is one of your favorite characters to work on? A: Well, everyone knows I love Cass. She has my heart!!! Isn’t she just the coolest? I’d want her as a best friend!!

Ricky

Q: Who is Ricky? A: I am a writer on the show so I help come up with what happens in each episode/the overall series and write the scripts...so essentially what the characters say, do, etc.

Q: Is there a particular episode that's already aired that stands out as a favorite of yours? A: Fav episodes of mine are: Pascal's Story, Quest for Varian (I wrote those so I'm partial) and I have a lot of love for Return of Strongbow, Rapunzel's Enemy and In Like Flynn.

Q: My friend was wondering how to write for animation, it's one of the forms they can't wrap their mind around. Like how to go about it and little tips to remember. A: For one, writing for animation isn't all that different than writing for live action. We format our scripts in the same fashion (well, tangled scripts have their own style, but overall it's the same). There is a particular focus, at least for me, on writing visually compelling action lines/descriptions so that my work and intention is clear for the story artists. Live action may have a little less emphasis there. But overall it's the same concept.

Q: Are there any particular shows you cite as influence when writing for Tangled? A: Ummm... different things influence the different writers/Chris/Ben, etc. I am sure that many of the visual artists/designers/board artists are influenced by different shows like that.

Q: I remembering reading something that said that the story for Tangled The Series was all figured out, that even before the show started airing the idea for the ending was already figured out. A: Well... It is and it isn't. Meaning, there is are... We'll call them "goal posts" along the way that were established very early on and the challenge of the show is building stories in between that build to those and do those moments justice. It kind of goes like this: Touchstones/key moments of the series are established, then we map out each season with those in mind (think of it like you have pillars and then the season arc is the roof held up by those pillars).

Q: How do you go about writing female characters or do you simply just portray them as a character first without special attention to gender? A: We just do our best to get inside each character's head... Be they female or male or horse or chameleon... and then write their character as true to who they are as we possibly can. There is a lot of discussion in the room when breaking story about "would Rapunzel do X or Y" and after a while, the characters become second nature to us. I have spent as much time with Rapunzel as I did in high school....so you really get to know them.

Q: So you have a rough outline for the series and as you go you flesh out ideas? A: Yes. There are certain things that we've always known would happen. Like, with Varian, we mapped out which episodes in Season one he would appear in and how his character would progress (so, ep 3, 9, 13/14, 20-end). The specific "how" wasn't always there. That becomes part of the story. How do we get Varian from A to B in each episode so by the end he is no longer a cinammon roll.

Q: Which character do you personally enjoy writing for the most? A: My favorite is King Trevor. As far as the mains, I mean, IDK  it depends on the episode. I love writing Rapunzel when she loses her cool a little bit. I love writing Eugene quips, I love writing Cass snark.... it depends on what they're doing.

Q: I do like how it seems even what can be considered filler episodes progress the story and characters in some way. A: Yeah, filler episodes.... yeesh not a term we like haha. The thing about a series is that we are always building character or establishing something. So yes there are eps that don't talk about the rocks or feature the main villain, but they show where the characters are in their particular place and time. Also, if you look at the season as a whole, you'll see that it mirrors the movie in some ways. There are moments in the movie that are straight up silly and fun and then there are scenes that are all badass action and then there are sad, dark moments and our episodes are like that. Some are Rapunzel's enemy and they are silly and fun and some are Quest where they are super dark

Q: Who is your least favorite character to write for? A: Hopefully this isn't a cop out, but I don't really have one. Like, I might say King Frederic in the first half of season 1, but then In Like Flynn comes around and it's so fun to lean into how much of a square he can be.

Q: How excited were you to finally introduce fans to the mysterious Baron? A: We were super psyched to finally get to use the Baron.

Q: Speaking of the darker parts of the show, are there any surprising limitations in place at Disney as to how dark you can go? Some, I'd imagine are obvious (no swearing, explicit content)- but are there any that'd surprise people? A: There are things that Disney doesn't let us do, but usually they aren't with "dark" things. THey're usually with some phrase they don't like or something. Like I wrote a line in Quest for Varian where Eugene calls Owl a "cold blooded bird of prey" and even though he was actually joking about Cassandra, we got a note that they didn't want to deceive children into thinking that owls are cold blooded when they are in fact warm blooded. Stuff like that is surprising.

Q: What there ever a character or an idea that you liked but had to be changed or removed (At least in season 1)? A: Definitely. I am the worst in the room because I get super attached to a lot of ideas and stories and characters and when they don't happen I get feisty. One I will reveal/can talk about was in Pascal's story. There was more of Pascal's journey to the tower in there and I had a scene of Pascal seeing a long blonde braid and getting happy, thinking it was Rapunzel. But then it turns out to be this dandy/crappy minstrel whose story kind of mirrored what Pascal was going through and he sang about how his girlfriend left him and at first Pascal thought he found a buddy, but he quickly got super annoying so Pascal bailed. I really liked the minstrel. I was sad he didn't make it in. He was so silly.

Q: In Quest for Varian the line "We're gonna get squished!" was that a Disneyfied line or was Varian just being a dork? A: Ummm...the squished line I can't remember honestly. We wrote that episode 2 years ago so sometimes it's hard to remember where they all came from.

Q: In the movie Raps hides behind Eugene a lot, and now in the show I've been noticing recently it's Eugene who's hiding behind Rapunzel, and that kinda body language totally sticks out towards their development because it shows how much braver and stronger Raps has become and also how Eugene trusts Raps, isn't as totally hung up on his ego, and also knows there's someone who can and wants to protect him, so my question is, are moves like these written into the script or are they mostly storyboard choices? A: I would say that much of the credit for the staging of the shots goes to our awesome storyboard artists. Certainly, there are times where we might write something like "Rapunzel steps forward and draws her frying pan" but other times, it might not be so specific and just as we pay a lot of attention to how Raps would act, they do as well and they work so hard to bring that out.

Q: What did you think of him (Varian) when he was first thought out and how his story progressed? A: Well, when I first got there he was just a name on an index card. And his trajectory was roughly laid out in that he would start out a friend but end up a foe. I didn't think of him as a kid initially, that came from someone else (either Chris or Shane) and I remember being worried about making such a young kid a villain because...and this is going to sound weird, but I was like "Can we punch a 14 year old in the face? Because if he's a villain we might have to do that." So I was skeptical at first, honestly. But the more we got into how he behaved and how quirky he was he just became super fun and sweet and then he fit naturally into the world.

Q: Is there a certain line that stands out as a personal favorite for you that you've written for the show? A: There are certain lines. One of them is when Rapunzel blows up the tower and they ask her what she's doing and she says "Letting down my hair" because it was fun making that famous line into a badass line. And everything Eugene says when he gives Max the tour of the tower. And when Eugene is confused about Chutney I laugh because that is based on a guy that I saw in Target trying to explain chutney to one of the workers who didn't know what it was.

Q: If you could do a crossover with another Disney Show/Movie which one would you want to do? A: Hmmmm... I think Enchanted. Would be cool to see Rapunzel and Eugene get thrown into New York with a slightly more street-smart Giselle.Or to see them go to Andalasia .

Q: Why is it Eugene hasn't had issues with his near death death? A: Well, he has mentioned his near death. He brings it up in Pascal's story and then in quest he talks about it. I think Eugene isn't the kind of guy that holds onto things like that. Like he might hold on to emotional hurt, but I think he looks at that as one of many close calls (okay, probably the closest call) he's had throughout his life and now that it's behind him, he faces it with humor.

Q: If you could turn another Disney movie into a series which one would it be? A: If I could turn any Disney movie into a series it would be Incredibles.

Q: Is there any music genre that fans might be surprised to find Rapunzel liking if she were to hear it? A: Hmmm... I think Rapunzel is the kind of person that would be open to anything. It's hard to imagine her hearing something and NOT liking it or at least giving it a chance.

BONUS WITH RICKY

Comment: Dude, Eugene's tour to Max through the tower was so funny, hahaha. Ricky: They cut a line out of the tour, which I was sad about. It was something like "See this stain on the floor? That's my blood. Seriously look at all that blood! Oh, boy, I am a bleeder." Comment: I loved Eugene's comment about Max climbing Rapunzel's hair when they were escaping the tower. Ricky: Hahaha yeah sometimes Eugene has to call out the strangeness haha. All of that is kind of paying homage to the movie. Like when he says "YOu should know this is the strangest thing I've ever done!"

Comment: I know it won't happen in the show, but it's stuff like that that makes me wish we'd be able to see Sora from Kingdom Hearts appear in the show. Eugene would be a goldmine of meta commentary on all the bizarre shenanigans that come with everything pertaining to Kingdom Hearts. Ricky: And to the Kingdom Hearts mention, it would be fun to do a crossover like that, but we can't really do crossovers like that. Every now and then I try to throw in an obscure Disney name or reference and it always gets caught (sulks).

Comment: I loved Lance's line in today's episode about the bee pheromones being  on the table in a drinking  cup. Ricky: LOL yeah. That was Jeremy's line. Tonight was his first episode (he started in Season 2 so he's a "new" writer this season). Comment: When you say Jeremy do you mean Jeremy Jordan? Ricky: No I'm talking about Jeremy Shipp. Jeremy Jordan doesn't write, he just sings like a god damn angel.

Ricky: Fun facts about tonight's episode: the lady that called Raps a "Clod" was voiced by Eden Espinosa. Also the first version of the story had Quaid as an old, out of work actor that the gang dresses up as a Sheriff. And then of course, the story evolved from there and stuff.

Comment: About Eugene dying, I would think the reason that's not mentioned much it's because Eugene simply isn't the kind of person that would hold to that stuff (Since we already know the show doesn't shy away from those kind of topics, for example, the King still dealing with Rapunzel's kidnapping even though she's been home for months now, and Rapunzel still dealing with her first 18 years with Gothel). Like, the characters don't get magically better, they keep dealing with stuff even after everything is done, and I think that's really cool. Ricky: Yeah. We show that Rapunzel still holds on to stuff. And Eugene does too (you see in the movie he has some issues and changes his name as a result), but Eugene covers a lot of that stuff with humor and sarcasm.

[lxveille]

May I have Mingyu + 70 for the 100 ways to say I love you? Thank you!

100 ways to say i love you (requests closed)WC: ~ 2360 ; paranormal!au

It’s almost three in the morning when your phone goes off. You stumble out of bed and only just read Somin’s name on the screen before you answer wearily.

“You need to get down to the research center now,” she tells you, something electric and anxious in her voice.

“What’s going on?” you ask, still rubbing sleep from your eyes.

“They finally got one.”

That wakes you up.

You’ve been working under Dr. Nam at Central Research Center of the Preternatural for almost a year. Your department has long been underfunded and ridiculed quietly by others for its distinct lack of actual study subjects. You’ve run analysis of trace remnants of extraterrestrial activity and gone on numerous dead-end trips following calls reporting UFO sightings. But there’s never been a successful, proper study done an alien life form. It’s hasn’t been possible without any captured beings.

Now, evidently that has all changed.

You stand next to Somin on one of the upper walkways of the facility and stare down at the shatter-proof glass walls of the enclosement. You’ve passed it so many times, never sparing it a glance, because it had always been empty. Now that there’s a living creature inside, it looks smaller than you remember.

“It looks… human,” you comment in a whisper, unable to tear your eyes away from the unconscious form that lies in the middle of the sanitized, closed-in floor.

“I know,” Somin answers, “Dr. Nam says it might be some kind of cloaking adaptation. But look at the preliminary vital scans.” You force yourself to turn your attention to the chart your colleague is holding out. Your eyes widen at the information it contains. From body temperature and the double-pulse alone, it’s evident that whatever’s inside the enclosure is not native to this world.

“Certainly not human,” you murmur, and something about Somin’s smile in response makes you feel a bit queasy.

You’ll admit that work was less stressful and exhausting before subject A01 came in. Budget constraints mean most of your time on the observation deck is spent alone. It only takes a few hours of your first shift before the first time you find yourself speaking out loud to the extraterrestrial.

It’s a silly thing to do. A01 still seems a bit delirious from being knocked out during those first few hours after he comes to. He barely looks towards where you are, and seems more preoccupied with running his hands over the smooth glass that traps him in. He doesn’t seem to come back to full awareness until the second day in the facility.

Several hours into your second shift, you comment lightly, “A01, I don’t know about you, but I think the doctor’s got his hopes up a bit high if he thinks there’s gonna be an 02 or a B anytime soon.”

He shows his teeth; some of them sharper than a human’s would normally be. Then you realize he’s smiling. Almost chuckling even – at what you’d said, or at you, or something. You press your clipboard flat into your lap, staring at the alien with surprise.

So begins your working theory that A01 understands human language.

You run it by Somin first, who quirks her head and looks at you like you’re the one who ought to be in the enclosure. “I’ve never had A01 even respond when I’m doing linguistic runs,” she tells you.

It’s decided then it’ll be good to keep the observations to yourself. At least until you have more to go on, you tell yourself.

The worst is when you’re tasked with checking vitals or sample collection.

There’s a button on the panel beside the door into the enclosure that releases a gas into the chamber that renders A01 unconscious. Protocol says you should never open the door if the alien is awake. It’s too hazardous for the study, as well as for the security of the research center as a whole.  

But there’s a look of recognition on A01’s expression whenever you approach the panel that tugs are your sympathy for the being. And there’s a rough time he has coming back after the fact, the hazed and uncomfortable stares he gives at blank spaces of the glass, barely responding to any stimuli at all for many hours afterwards.

He’s been at the facility for two months when he comes right up to the clear wall just as you approach the control panel. He places one hand against the glass, looking at you imploringly, and you swallow thickly, fingers already position to release the knockout gas.

You move your hand away from the panel, and your gut twists when you see him smile softly in response from the other side of the glass. Tilting your head back, you scan the overhanging walkway for anyone else.

“I’m sorry,” you say, pressing one hand over your heart to try to emphasize your sincerity before it moves to push the button.

When he comes back too, freshly bandaged from the blood sample you’d taken, you’re still on observation duty. He stumbles over to the spot closest to where you’re sitting and sways slightly where he stands, steadying himself with one hand against the transparent walling.

“A01, do you understand what sorry means?” you ask; you’ve tried, since Somin first told you about her differing experience with him, not to speak so much to him. While your theory about his comprehension still lingered on your mind often enough, it seems like a bad idea to try to prove something the linguist on your small team already seemed convinced of.

But he nods, and mirrors your earlier gesture of place one hand over your heart. In his case, you realize, it’s only one of his hearts.

You stand slowly, leaving the clipboard behind on the bench as you come up to the enclosure. Standing toe-to-toe to him, with only several inches of industrial strength glass separating the two of him, you let yourself ask, “Do you call yourself anything? Anything different from A01?”

His eyes scan over you and you think you must have broken some kind of protocol when you hear a low voice answer, “Mingyu.”

Or if that hadn’t been against regulations, it’s certainly some kind of wrong when you leave the interaction out of your observation notes.

Two weeks later, you’re assigned to take vitals once more. Dr. Nam had recently put in changes to the nutrients being provided to A01 – to Mingyu – and is looking now for any changes in his system resulting from that.

Mingyu comes up to the same spot he’d been the last time, when you’d apologized before knocking him out. He gives you the same beseeching look he’d had last time, and this time you waver more than before. A few long minutes go by of you checking that there’s no one else in this sector before you place one hand on the glass of the door.

“If you promise to stay away from here, Mingyu, I don’t have to use the gas.”

He takes several long strides backwards, retreating from the door.

This is a bad idea, some more practical voice inside your head chimes in. It does not win out.

Mingyu seems taller, somehow, without the glass between the two of you. Anytime you’ve been this close to him before, he’s been unconscious, unable to watch you as closely as he is now.

You start with pressing the thermometer to his forehead, taking note of his usually cool temperature while trying not to meet his gaze. He doesn’t say a thing, standing still and cooperative as you listen to one of his heartbeats.

It’s just as you’re switching to check his second heart the Mingyu lifts one hand up to your cheek suddenly. You look up at him abruptly; practicality says you should get away now, but you stare at him instead, speechless as his cold fingers brush lightly over the skin of your face. There’s something almost gel-like in his touch, and you wonder how it is no ones taken note of his skin exuding any kind of substance before.

“You’re warm,” Mingyu notes, hand coming to rest on the side of your neck with fingertips still pressing lightly at the underside of your jaw. He’s smiling once again, and somehow you feel more like subject than scientist.

“Why don’t you verbally respond to Somin or Dr. Nam?” you ask, trying ground yourself back in the priorities of the study. He removes his touch from you, his fingers curling slightly as he looks at his own hand as if looking for something. “Mingyu?” you prompt him for a response, and he glances up from his hand to smile a little wider at you.

You think you might be in trouble.

Sometimes Mingyu will be the one to say something first now.

He asks, for example, if you’re still warm. If you’re tired. If you’re happy.

Most troubling is when he asks if you’re still sorry.

He peers at you through the glass, looking not at all like he meant for the question to send as strong a pang of guilt through your system as it does.

“This is my job,” you reply as steadily as you can. He may not know what jobs are, you realize only after you’ve already spoken.

“That isn’t an answer,” Mingyu says, hand coming up to the glass. It leaves behind a small smudge of something – perhaps the same secretion you’d felt upon your skin – when he drags his fingers down a few inches. It makes you nervous for a reason you find difficult to place. But it’s the same kind of nervousness you felt in middle school, back when your science teacher paired you up for a project with the class president.

Somin calls out sick the next day Mingyu’s due for his vitals checked.

He smiles when you tell him as much as you come up towards the door. He doesn’t come up towards the same area to meet you, and you presume he hopes you’ll still allow the same deal you’d given him last time.

Just as before, he stays still and lets you go about with all the measurements and procedures you need to do without complaint. Even when you go to take a sample of blood from his arm, he simply holds out one hand and watches as the syringe fills with the dark, thick fluid that runs through his veins.

“Can I touch you again?” he inquires as you’re packing up all your supplies. It draws your attention back to him immediately, your eyes widened with surprise that he’d ask such a thing. He smiles when your eyes fall upon his face, and you stand up straight to come back to your prior spot in front of him.

It’s for research, you try to reason as you nod. He brings both hands up to your face this time, eyes fluttering shut for a millisecond when he first makes contact with your skin.

“Can you tell me…” you start hesitantly, shuddering lightly from the chill of his touch and gel-like substance he smooths over your flesh as his fingers move from your cheeks to your shoulders and down to your arms. You aren’t sure if you’re glad or not that you’d worn a short-sleeved shirt to work today.

He gives a small, puzzled-sounding hum that reminds you to finish your inquiry.

“What is it on your hands right now?” you finish at last, and you feel a familiar flutter of nerves when he chuckles breathily.

“It helps to understand,” he says vaguely, lifting one hand back up to your jaw. His palm drags forwards slightly until only the very tips of his fingers are left on the underside of your chin, tilting your face up so you can’t avoid eye contact. “To be with.”

Your brow furrows. “I don’t understand,” you admit, as if it weren’t already obvious from your expression.

“I love you,” Mingyu tell you calmly, like it’s the same as saying he enjoys your company or commenting on the differences in your natural body temperatures.

That’s enough to make you stumble back from him, your heart suddenly thudding with a confused panic. This is wrong, impossible, and against every regulation there is in the facility.

“You don’t know what that means,” you accuse, and Mingyu frowns.

“I feel it,” he offers as if it will make everything clear. Long legs carry him across the space between the two of you easily. You ought to turn and run, lock the door to the enclosure behind you, and maybe even press the panic button. Mingyu raises one hand and lets it hover just over your cheek; not touching, but asking for permission to do as much. “I want you to believe me.”

He sounds saddened, hurt by how quickly you’d denied any meaning to his words.

You glance towards his hesitant hand and back to his eyes before nodding faintly. He doesn’t smile, his features too focused in on taking in every micro-moment of your reaction when his hand cups your cheek again. He rolls his lips together contemplatively as he watches your shoulder loosen slightly.

His feet shuffle a little closer to yours and his face comes in closer than he’d been before. He murmurs another I love you just before his lips press against yours. It’s different, almost inexplicably, from kissing a human. Something in the texture of his tongue and the taste in his mouth is utterly foreign. For a brief moment, it occurs to you that you ought to panic; that you don’t know if his species may be capable of salivating something deadly upon will.

The worry melts away when you feel his thumb brush against the juncture of your ear and your neck, rubbing a trail of something new that leaves an odd, warming feeling against the soft skin.

Mingyu releases your lips just when you think you might lose yourself entirely to the sensation.  He pulls back just far enough that he can take in your expression. His mouth quirks up into a curious smile.

“Do you believe me?”

You’re definitely in trouble.