#sigh. i dunno
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
eepy
#it feels very weird to be back in my dorm for the summer#last summer was so bad. I was so lonely the whole time it almost killed me#and Im feeling that start to creep up on me again even though I hung out with a friend for hours yesterday#and im talking with online friends basically all day#but idk. I called my mom today and she was looking at facebook the whole time I called her (i could tell)#and I always feel so so worthless no matter what I do#I try so hard but I just!! cant connect with people! in a meaningful way!#I want to be in an active groupchat. a friend group thats always buzzing#to hop in vc and not feel trapped by my own problems with socializing#people reach out to me and i thank them and dont really come back (because im introverted and also because I feel so annoying all the time#people say im nice but sometimes I do genuinely wonder if thats all i am#like i am nice! but thats it. no one wants to talk to me beyond that because im also insufferably awkward and annoying#but in brief exchanges hey at least im nice!#sigh. i dunno#I have no self confidence and I feel guilty for doubting the people who are nice to me#or not trusting when they say they like having me around#because I just. I cant believe it. I dont get it. I dont like having me around and Im ME lmao#as I say so often in my head#if it makes you feel any better im constantly crushed by guilt and shame 👍#shut up me
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
eehghhghbhhbb sysmates dont look
I miss the sense of security my old relationship had. I miss knowing i have people i can always always go to. Our anxiety has been horrible lately and since im a holder i get the worst of it. It really sucks. I hate not feeling like im good enough or that im unloved for doing my job. Because when im anxious i get afraid nobody actually cares, or that my anxiety is giving everyone else problems. Im scared of being a burden. I feel gross
#silver sads 💧#sigh. i dunno#it sucks#i wish i didnt have all these complexes given to us by our old trauma#i was allowed to grow up but my head is still where i was hurt. where we were hurt. its not fair#i hate being an anxiety alter. i wanna be a normal headmate again
0 notes
Text
ooooo you wanna send me doodle requests so bad ooooo
1 note
·
View note
Text
men will flay their soul bare before trying to talk about their feelings lol
#i have another page with prime id like to post but im still fiddling with some details. sigh#issss this too much for the main tag? i dunno#megatron#optimus prime#megop#my art#maccadam#or do ppl just use#transformers#now#g1#spark stuff is such interesting fanon to me. bring it back. can anyone hear me
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
To tie a horse with it's own mane
#msorry for being not so active. again..sigh#the pills should start kicking in but i dunno. trying to draw#team fortress 2#tf2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 engineer
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to like tea so bad. How can I possibly hate all the tea I've tried???
#i mean its impossible that i hate all tea right???#im gonna get back into trying teas. i bought some lemon ginger tea today. i dont like the taste and it makes my teeth hurt#maybe peach tea next???#blueberry tea maybe???#i dunno. im not sure id like the flowery teas#i tried huckleberry a few weeks ago and also didnt like that#sigh. maybe im not built for tea#unrelated
891 notes
·
View notes
Text
And I just have to tell you that I
Love you so much these days,
#homestuck#dirk strider#bgd#brain ghost dirk#jake english#dirkjake#hs2#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck epilogues#candy epilogue#admin draws#fanart#i cant even pretend im normal about my own art or this song im sorry#im tryna think of something to say abour this and i keep thinking about the lyrics and i GRGRHHHHFHFJG#i dunno man. i love plastic beach. i cant say anything here that is not gallbladder-achingly cheesy#but just. i dont know.#jake keeping a little bit of dirk in his heart all those years. even if bgd is 'all' jake hes still in the memory he carries#when i listen i find myself stuck between which singer/verse should be jake and which should be dirk. but the answer is simple#theyre both both.#jake thinks hes the one singing abour getting abandoned. but really hes the one losing himself in the substance#and dirk. dirk is the one watching him lose himself. but since hes just a part of jake. yeah.#'i have to tell you that i love you so much these days' both as something jake is saying to dirk and what jake wishes dirk was there to say#hes so alone in that reality. even if he might not admit and go so far as to imagine dirk saying it. its something that deep down#he aches to hear. the man who has deemed himself unlovable and incapable of love. he still wants to hear it despite himself#he still wants to say it despite nnot being able to bring himself to even process that emotion#sigh. see what happens. i cant talk aboht it bc a single line turns intoTHIS
258 notes
·
View notes
Note
If this was a game, I think a fun gameplay mechanic would be like a friendship meter. The friendship meter is affected by how you interacted with others. And if you have a higher friendship meter with people, they'd be more willing to help you. For example, companions with higher friendship do more damage when pomni takes them with her. Or another example is because ragathas kinda like the shopkeeper if she has a higher friendship her prices will be cheaper but if her friendship level is low they'll be really expensive. You can raise the friendship meter by going on side quests with the others or using positive dialog, and negative dialog makes the meter go down. Idk I just thought that it might be fun.
I like this idea. And you know what, FUCK IT.
AN AU OF AN AU!!!!!!! WHICH IS ALSO CANON-DIVERGENT FROM THE HARLEQUIN AU LMAO I TRULY AM AMAZING /j
THE AMAZING DIGITAL SOULS-LIKE!
I CAN"T seem to avoid the concept of "What if the Harlequin AU was a game instead", THE UNIVERSE KEEPS PUSHING IT TO MY FACE LIKE MY YOUNGER SIBLINGS WHEN THEY SEE A COLORFUL THUMBNAIL sighs....... back to my Shadow of the Colossus boss osts bullshit..... (affectionate)
The Amazing Digital Souls-like is a Non-canon compliant Alternate Universe (that's also a game rather than an actual fantasy world) of the Harlequin AU, where a stylized souls-like VR game called "The Marvelous Mechanical Harlequin" came out at some point during the rise of souls-like gaming.
Waking up in a well-lit main lounge of a manor, the new, amnesiac Harlequin player is met by "Bubble", a Butler Blimp, and "Caine" The Puppetmaster (whom is VERY VERY LOUD btw), claiming to be the only one who can "help her" in her current predicament.
As to be expected, she's very much on the verge of a mental breakdown, barely keeping it together while attempting to make sense of the world around her. (seriously, who thought pitching this game who sucks people inside of it to the public was a good idea??)
The Puppetmaster then proceeds to infodump everything the Harlequin player should know:
That this is a souls-like game;
she is a Harlequin Puppet in the middle of a TERRIFYING ROBOT apocalypse!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCARYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that she has to go on a boss-rush type of playthrough IF she EVER wanted to have a chance at getting out!
He'll also be the game's official guide, to which the player is having trouble digesting all this information (not surprising at all.)
When asked what's her name, she can't remember and begins crying onto the floor again (lmao skill issue). The Puppetmaster then picks one at the top of his head; "Pomni", which she reluctantly takes because it's better than having nothing.
From there on out, Pomni undergoes through a series of hardships as she dies (in a video game!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIND YOU, SHE DOES NOT DIE IN REAL LIFE!!!!) over and over again, attempting to defeat various bosses, who are the NPCs. She gains more and more confidence in the battles, but she's still quite the nervous wreck otherwise.
But hey, at least she's getting quite close to Caine, right? He's so nice, and sweet, and very caring of her, careful to reassure her that she's doing a great job with the tasks. There's also a deja vu in her head that's telling her this is somehow familiar, and his presence is a comfort to her.
Surely, everything's all fine and dandy, right?
... right?
Little did this Harlequin know, there is a DARK secret to all this.
And that is the fact that the late bosses aren't just regular boss AIs, they're OTHER PLAYERS trapped in a boss's body, for some goddamn reason. She finds this out when she accidentally does a good chunk of damage to a boss's heart, making them able to speak to her for a bit before going back to being hostile.
With that in mind, Pomni has to DELIBERATELY hit their very durable hearts, if she wants them to be reform as normal players as the hearts imprisoned the ACTUAL avatars of the players.
The Puppetmaster is taken aback, but seems to let Pomni do her way reluctantly.
Once they are freed however, they become Pomni's allies, but they seem... unnerved by the Puppetmaster and tend to avoid him. Every time Pomni asks them why, they're just quiet and looking away. Otherwise, they seem to be grateful and helpful to Pomni about anything else.
This of course, raises Pomni's suspicions of the game's advisor, but she still needs to comply with the rules of this world and thus, has to keep throwing herself to the wolves over and over again.
By the time Pomni frees the Maddened Princess of the Theater, The Puppetmaster declares her ready to face with THE FINAL BIG BAD HIMSELF, The Patriarch of Puppets, an "evil entity who transformed everyone into horrible Puppet monsters". Everyone scoffs silently.
Pomni, according to him, must defeat the Patriarch as the final step to video game freedom.
But by the time Pomni arrives to the final arena, The Patriarch attempts to have a conversation, and seems to be struggling with himself.
The Patriarch explains that his boss body contains "Able", someone who was close to Pomni in real life, who entered in the hopes of making his brother leave the confines of the game. He was able to remember details due to his admin access. Caine only agreed to leave IF he was capable of defeating all the bosses without using his admin abilities, "just like old times".
It was only until his late game run when he figured out (after a heated argument) that the original AI gamemaster, the very heart piece on Caine's chest, took over Caine and was making him act like a manipulative monster. When he tried to pry the heart piece away, he got sealed in the Patriarch's body as punishment.
The Puppetmaster may be unable to revoke his admin access, but it can be sealed off.
Able's been stuck ever since, but still secretly had a bit of access to the game codes if he did it on the low, an oversight by The Puppetmaster, and thus, managed to gain some semblance of control over the Patriarch's otherwise very hostile and bloodthirsty AI just in time for him to talk to Pomni.
The Puppetmaster denies these accusations, and advises Pomni not to believe the boss's manipulative words.
Pomni now has two choices.
>Kill The Patriarch of Puppets, or >face The Puppetmaster.
"Kill the Patriarch of Puppets" ending:
if Pomni decided to not believe Able, he loses his control over The Patriarch and the final boss fight begins. Once Pomni is victorious, The Puppetmaster then congratulates Pomni, but reveals a secret: That there was never an exit.
Pomni simply passed the final test, and now, she's ready to become a boss herself. Try as she might, she cannot escape this and she becomes "The Mechanical Jester of the Circus", the new final boss of the game. All her movesets are reconfigured to become the boss' attacks.
Able resets to normal, now forever trapped to be The Patriarch as The Puppetmaster corrects the previous oversight. The others are reset to become bosses again.
A new player joins, unaware of the horrors that awaits them.
Sad ending :((( How very tragic....
"Face the Puppetmaster" ending:
if Pomni decided to believe Able, a boss fight still ensues but this time, The Patriarch of Puppets is only the Penultimate boss instead of the final stretch. Pomni frees Able, who reforms into his original 'card deck' avatar and regains administrative access to the game.
The Puppetmaster accuses Pomni of breaking his heart and breaking game rules, and thus, has to battle with him IN ONE GO. There is no more reset button for her.
But Able comes in clutch and ensures her that HE will be the one to make sure Pomni can come back as many times as possible to finish the fight and free Caine.
Once Pomni is victorious, The gamemaster heart piece breaks, and Caine is knocked out. All the blocked out memories return to the players.
(Able's design belongs to sm-baby btw!!!!)
Apparently, the VR game was revolutionary. Players could physically enter the world and be immersed in the game's astounding graphics, creative boss rushes and open world exploration aspect. It did VERY well initially, but not well enough to stand the test of time.
Player numbers eventually dissipated when the brothers moved on to greener pastures (so the game didn't have updates), and the AI gamemaster was heartbroken for essentially being abandoned. As a result, any new players that entered the game could not escape, simply because they all forgot they had access to the menu from the very beginning. lmfao
When Caine rediscovered the game and wanted to replay it for old time's sake, the same fate befell him. The gamemaster recognized one of his creators, and took over his entirety, becoming The Puppetmaster.
Able followed suit, wanting to let Caine out but he was sealed into the Patriarch's body before he could succeed.
Pomni, who's actual name is "Penelope", was Caine's significant other in real life and got worried that Caine wasn't responding to her calls while she was on a business trip. She tried contacting Able, no response either.
When she finally arrived to their apartment, The Marvelous Mechanical Harlequin game was on, and recognizing it to be the brothers' old souls-like game, she put on the headset. And from there on out, the story begins.
The other players are able to forgive Caine's actions, and not pass lawsuits once they are able to go back to the real world. Now, with the gamemaster gone, the game has become somewhat active again, though this time, it was the others (and additional new people) hopping in back into the game just to hang out and maybe do some DLC boss rushes implemented by the brothers.
It's pretty epic, y'all. Happy ending yippie!!!!!!!!!
Now if you'll all excuse me... OWIEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY ARM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
#thanks for the ask!#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc au#harlequin au#tadc harlequin au#The Amazing Digital Souls-like#AU..... of an AU lol#pomni#caine#tadc able#pomni x caine#caine x pomni#showtime shipping#showtime ship#tadc showtime#I bet there some people who wants to ask me “But Ziku why didn't you go with this idea instead”#ERMM!!!!!!!!! I wanted to be silly that's why!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE#This is what happens if I tried REALLY HARD to be canon-adjacent with an au#I dunno. I may continue this; maybe not; who knows?#sigh. I need rest badly#I think I pushed myself way too much today#not good. not good at all#.... kinda worth it though
302 notes
·
View notes
Text
FSM and Lloyd parallels... Garmadon and Arin... Sora and Wu can anyone hear me hello
#sigh can't stop thinking about it#it's all I see#People keep saying it's the family's curse with first students#but you forget he has two#Dunno just feel like it mirrors The First and his children more than the whole “shitty job with our first students” cycle#Mainly because one is “successful” (Sora)#if both of them turned that would be different#But Sora is still on the path while Arin veered#So it matches Wu and Garm more#rugrhrhgr💥💥💥💥#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#lloyd montgomery garmadon
189 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man, I love Rui's birthday card this y…
Wh. Where'd he go.
#If you can't tell who my favorite character is I dunno what to tell you#How long did this take me? Yes.#All the items are separated from the bg too (Grouped in some layers bc I'm not a masochist)#All this for an idea I probably will bail on. Sigh.#pjsk#project sekai#prsk#should I tag card edit…#I think I will. Its funny#project sekai card edit
248 notes
·
View notes
Text
"The drums rolled, and the crowds roared; and that, though no one knew it, was the end of the bright hope for a democratic Republic."
-R. R. Palmer, Twelve Who Ruled
#I remember when I first read about robespierres death in detail in a book#I was so moved that I just sat there n thought about it for an hour with much horror#but its kind of amazing discovering this community online because I had no idea others would feel just as strongly#but theres all these amazing posts and art today and I dunno its kind of cool that I'm not alone in my strong feelings about this I guess#frev#frev art#french revolution#robespierre#maximilien robespierre#thermidor#sigh#art#illustration#history art#history
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
greek man save me......... save me mad scientist save me
#dr ratio#hsr dr ratio#honkai star rail#honkai star rail fanart#artists on tumblr#if you see the mistakes no you don't sigh#i dunno. had fun rendering this one#getting better at rendering i think maybe#last piece of 2023 and first piece of 2024 man startin' off with a bang#i enjoyed this process but i think i am learning that i need to practice the art of doodling because this took so many hours#i can't do THIS much every time i wanna make a finished piece lol i'll go insane#but for now i like how this turned out :)
344 notes
·
View notes
Text
“haven’t got all day, Sergeant…”
full image on my twitter!
#dunno how much of this i would be able to show so i had to crop his ass *humongous sigh*#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#cod art#soapghost#ghostsoap#my art
408 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can't get enough kisses.. 💜❤️
#young royals#wilmon#simon eriksson#wilhelm#wille x simon#my gifs yr#I dunno y'all *sighs*#anyway missss them! 💜#taking any chance they get! ❤️#so in love 🥹
129 notes
·
View notes
Note
What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
123 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hit 120 kirbyliker12liker12s on the bird app and took various art requests 😙😙😙😙😙😙wow this looks slightly more insane without context
#kirbyliker12art#sigh. tagging time#magolor#magolor epilogue#fecto elfilis#elfilin#bandana waddle dee#susie haltmann#ribbon kirby#kirby#morpho knight#taranza#oh that tagging was a lot more bearable than i thought it'd be#why is garfield there ??? i dunno dont ask me
464 notes
·
View notes