#sigh i love being an experiment
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hi mickey!! i’ve been on an off adhd meds for about 4 years so i’ll tell you my experiences with the two i’ve been on ☺️
the first one i was ever on was adderall and the first day i took it i genuinely got the worst stomach ache of my life. had to leave school early it was sooooo bad. but that happened ONCE and then never again so it was all good. genuinely helped me focus, for the 2ish weeks i was on it i did really well in school which was abnormal to me. i was on the lowest dosage though and i felt like i became kind of immune to it very quick so they upped me to the next dose and i unfortunately cant remember how that went at all but i figure it didn’t do much for me bc i switched meds.
the med i’ve been on longer is vyvanse which i have a love hate relationship with…bc. well. it makes me genuinely sick, like it just completely gets rid of your appetite. the idea of food, smelling food, looking at it, eating it. just can’t do it. i either eat before it or when it first kicks in bc unfortunately if you don’t eat while you’re on it the effects are worse. like you have to fight through the sickness so you don’t feel sicker? it also makes me wayyyyy social, takes away so much of my anxiety and makes me feel happy. my therapist said it’s because adhd can manifest as anxiety often times so it’s counteracting that. i don’t have an active prescription but i had one last year so literally like 2 weeks ago i had to do a shit tone of homework and i took the rest of my pills over the course of the week. and i got soooooooooooo much more work done than i did all quarter so that was great.
the crash after is INSANE though. it’s not uncommon to feel like super sad when it wears off and i vividly remember crying in school at the end of the day once bc it was wearing off and i started having an existential crisis. the nap after also crazy like just totally knocked out for hours. and the focusing and happiness will be gone but the icky stomach feeling will linger until u eat.
that’s just my experience but i hope it helped a bit :)
HII RO<333333 THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH MEEE!!!!!! it's so good to hear genuine experiences bc they can just differ so so so much. i had never heard about vyvanse so i wrote that one down for myself.
it sucks that the side effects can vary so much........ like damn can the medication just be Medication instead of taking away one thing and replacing that with like three smaller things??????? pls. when i got my antidepressants my friend told me all about her first two weeks (we had the same meds with the same dosage). she was like yeah you definitely have to eat before you take them or you'll get super sick, you have to take them almost at the exact time every day or you'll get sick + she had like stomach aches and she felt like she was gonna throw up a lot so she was just constantly chewing gum for the first two weeks and that scared the fuck out of me. bc. that's a lot of things lmao like is it even worth it all of that???? but then i had absolutely none of that NONE OF IT. the only time i feel sick is when i forget to take them...... but it's still good to know how it is for other so i can atleast BE READY FOR IT.
ok but you don't take them daily though right? just when you know you're gonna be more busy? is that just because you don't feel like you have to take them daily or you don't want to? my friend kind of does the same but the thing is... i am literally unemployed rn and i don't have school or anything but i still feel like i can't focus on anything so i'd probably be taking them on a daily basis anyway.. and i'm just wondering whether that's a bad thing or not. maybe it just depends on how well they actually work and whether or not they give me any big side effects............ sighh it's so upsetting that you just have to Try Them. pay for the session buy the meds probably suffer for some time just as an experiment lmao i love it
it's really good to hear that it helps with your anxiety too btw!!! i didn't know that it could do that and this is just making me wanna try it out even more i'd love to Not Be Anxious. whew what a crazy thought.
but i am very very very scared of the appetite loss though bc well...... i struggle with that anyway i just kind of forget about it and it's such a big task so the thought of taking something that could possibly make that even worse.............. is scary lmao this was one of the things my psychiatrist warned me about too
oh and also the crash after it......................... MMMMMMMM yeah that's a bit scary too just considering i tend to go through every single feeling and emotion on a daily basis anyway thanks to my good old friend autism. SIGHHHHH WHY IS IT HARD BEING OFF MEDS AND WHY IS IT HARD BEING ON MEDS PLSSSS
oke i kinda yapped but genuinely THANK YOUUU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT UR EXPERIENCE!!!!! now i know what to expect a bit more!!!! i hope you're having a good good day<333 love u MWAHH
#THANK UUUUUUU#i appreciate u sm!!!!#gonna go and look for an appointment time rnnnn#sigh i love being an experiment#ro <3#friends!!
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DISTRACTIONS sometimes its the drive to help and save our friends that pushes us to learn and to succeed. unfortunately its normally ''unethical'' to replicate that in a classroom setting. I ONLY JUST FINISHED THE LAST PAGE HERE, THE FIRST TWO WERE LITERALLY FROM LAST YEAR, N A FEW MONTHS APART. LOOOOK AT MY EVOLUTION. im very proud of this and bled REALLY HARD FOR THE LAST PAGE. PLEASE ABSORB THIS.
#gillion tidestrider#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#the last page honestly just took super long bc i dropped it for a long while. only recently wiped the dust off o it.#IM RLY PROUD OF ALOT O THINGS ABT THAT LAST PAGE#LIKE THE PERSPECTIVE N THE WIDE SHOTS OR WHATEVER#IT WASNT EASY BUT I MADE IT LOOK GOOD!! IM SO HAPPY WITH IT#I ALSO just really love drawing gillion as soooo small#just a little guy with the weight of the world bolted to his tiny tiny shoulders#n yknow what while im here ill talk abt the first two comics aswell. i like taking inspo from JTHM for this kinda stuff#more specifically SQUEE n the way his dad was just sooo honest and cruel to him. 'yeah its your fault my life sucks' n all that. i imagine#that gillion prolly dealt with alot o that too. i know weve already seen the elders#but i did initially imagine them to be very much like the Tallests from invader zim. they just hate this little guy. hes so small n lame#hes prolly had teachers like that im sure. i like thinkin about gills experience in school!!#i fell in love with him the moment he said that he wasnt good at being a student like girl ME TOOOO WAAAAAA#HE SUCKS In school and everyone is just sooo tired of him but they gotta put up with him bc hes the Chosen One#but GOD they wish they had someone more competent i bet. it was prolly a relief when they banished him#could u imagine being that? someone so insufferable that people sigh in relief when youre gone. poor poor gillion#ANYWAY THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS#TALK ABT UR THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS TOO DIPSHIIITT CMAAAHHNN
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multishipping is a superpower you neeeeeeeeeeed to have when you love getting into shitty gay media with found family because OF course they're going to make an incest map of all the characters and your otp will almost definitely not be endgame. of course they're going to pair the main guy and girl together as endgame just because. and I mean you COULD be a hater about it and curse the writers and throw a four year long fit but it's so much more fun when you just make your peace with the fact that this was always going to happen and pretend everyone is in a happy little polycule as they go through 18575879 different pairings you know aren't going to last because fandom and just the experience of being a fan is so much more fun that way!!!
#like one thing about me is i almost NEVER get the ship i want in any show ever#but WE PERSIST WE ADAPT#every ship has their moments! romance is dumb anyway but it's nice to see different characters connecting#some of yall were clearly not raised on glee smh#like as long as the characters experience new things and grow you know. a show is more than one ship#hsmtmts#glee#jane the virgin#never have i ever#love victor#community#xo kitty#there are sooooooo many of these I've lost count lol#heartbreak high#we are lady parts#walp#htgawm#pretty little liars#descendants#doafp#don't worry on the flip side i also support being a hater. god knows i was the biggest hater of the main ship on SO many of these shows#at one point#but it's just...easier for you...when you learn to make peace with allos being gross lol#like god knows i would NAWT write jafael or rina endgame in any universe#but at the end of the day...sigh...im just glad the lomls jane and gina are happy ig#i love seeing them all cute and happy and even the men have their moments sometimes#the only love triangle i have ever won in my life is cazzie and im still gloating over it 3 years later. so.#oh and maybe benvi ig#ginny and georgia#girlblogging.pdf
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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mike having that typical teenage phase of crushing on his best friend's brother and accidentally ends up having a wet dream about will and jonathan teasing him until he begs
#spicy byler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler#stranger things#jonathan byers#just... teenage fantasies are so strange in my experience of being one#i never had dreams on account of aphantasia but i consistently had daydreams about specific teachers and uh#im so glad mind reading is NOT a thing#anyways#i just like the idea of mike crushing on jonathan while still in love with will#will looks at him in disgust the first time he brings it up and is like MY BROTHER???? REALLY????#and jonathan doesn't find out until the two are in college during truth or dare and he's like What. while mike is still a lil blushy#then he sighs tiredly and goes alright. who's next?#🎸.wav
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it is literally not about legality, if you’re in your late 30s literally what are you hitting up 21 y/os for. Don’t you have investments to make.
#Astonishing number of people will jump on the ‘but it’s technically legal!’ defence#But will not answer my question of whyyyyyy. If your date sounds like PTA night and you need to parent your girlfriend#you have an age gap! And! You are the lamest loser on earth; that is fact; hope this helps!!#(Okay. Lowkey? I shouldn’t be thinking about this STILL. Given it’s been like a MONTH since#But I feel a lil let down and betrayed and I think I’m still kinda processing that… but I#I confided in my bestestest friend that an older man was creeping on me. And I expected her to have my back 100%#And idk— I think she’s just had worse experiences with men and has a higher tolerance to bad behaviour than I an asexual person do#But her response was along the lines of ‘you’re an adult; there’s no problem with it really;#can’t blame him for shooting his shot; it’s not really a weird age gap’#And worst of all— ‘maybe he just has an age kink; maybe he gets off on you being younger’#I have to say. I don’t care. The point is that I discouraged it several times and was getting increasingly uncomfortable with it#I feel like in that situation the thing to do is side with me especially when I’m telling you all this.#And like. Sigh i don’t know. I still love her with all my heart but it’s feeling a lil awkward rn#I’m still thinking about that and obviously I don’t want it to ruin the best friendship I’ve ever had#But it’s feeling a little forced right now. I expected her to have my back and for some reason her brushing this aside did make me#Feel completely invalidated and like I should just stop feeling weirded out and man up and discourage this man in words—#When the thing is there was NEVER any hint of interest. I don’t feel like I should have to dignify his behaviour in terms of interest or#Attraction. Because! I just don’t think you should be that forward with strangers repeatedly!! and if I think that’s weird then I’m sorry i#It won’t work with me! I don’t like it! I think that’s grounds enough to stop oh my god.#I’ll be seeing my bestie in a couple of weeks. Flying all the way out to England for her. I don’t want this to be awkward…#but something in me is just a lil heartbroken. Like I feel the girlcode was broken. We’ve always told each other#Not to let men affect our self worth or alter our boundaries. I feel like that was violated.#(ik she said that bc her bf at the time was 30 but like. Listen to my individual situation no? This one wasn’t about you I came for advice)#Rant
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ppl who have dated, been flirted with, had their first kiss, have had sex so on and so forth are so mean and condescending to ppl who are ugly and have never experienced that. im 25yrs old and have never even been kissed or flirted with or asked on a date. ppl recoil when they accidentally touch me. ofc i have no self esteem or confidence and feel repulsive and unloved. and you as a person who have had ppl flirt with you and WANT to touch you have no idea what that feels like and how that fucks up your self image
#and i have rape fantasies even if i hate rape and it makes me feel sick#just bc i am so fkn repulsive i cant ever imagine anyone wanting to touch me#sigh theres no reason for me to write an essay dissecting that but#it makes me feel sick bc i hate it and i dont want to#and those fantasies dont even make me feel good i just feel empty and sad#but idk. it really is fucking insane to have gone so long having been unwanted#and i cant even imagine someone being in love with me#or looking at me and finding me pretty#or wanting to treat me kindly and gently#that is incomprehensible to me#i cant imagine anyone wanting to kiss me just bc im me and they love me#but i can imagine someone finding me good enough to get off using even if im rlly fkn ugly 💔💔#anyway i just.. it makes me so mad lmao#that ppl who know what it feels like to be wanted have no understanding at all#ofc i hate myself. ofc i think im ugly. ofc i have low self esteem. u could never get it ..#but tbh i dont think love exists generally and i dont think most ppl experience love#everything is just abt being able to use others so like... idk tbh#like idk.. i dont think most ppl are human#is it really love to find someone pretty and wanting to use them? is it really that great to be so pretty that ppl wanna use u?#i dont think genuine connection and love exist among most ppl anyway so does it even matter in the end?#sigh now idek what the fuck im talking abt anymor#anymore*....
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my zatanna is transfem btw
#shes stated as unlabeled in my carrd bc i have my own thoughts on homo magi gender & sex and i cant like...#put all of that into my one-line bio so shes unlabeled (which she'd say herself if u were to ask!) bc its the most accurate to her feelings#but ill always be associating the trans(/fem) flag w/ her bc its also true#need to write that homo magi thing out tho dont i...long sigh.#that means it has to be coherent and i cant end it with “u get me?”.....longer sigh#me saying that is not in anyway implying that ill work on it any time soon whatsoever btw#just take note that i will write my own origin & general identity for the homo magi. it might take canon influences but yeah#giovanni is definitely a man who had homo magi blood in him but was raised in modern society and norms and therefore expectations and such#he worked to wield and harness magic as a tool (while he still appreciated it its different than direct descendants!)#while sindella has a more larger connection and life to magic itself being a direct descendant. love the idea of being made of magic!!#has a natural synchronization with magic/energy/soul/etc and its own way of enlightenment#they had managed to fall in love which is so sweet but they experience the life of magic completely differently!#zee has a natural disconnection from gender norms & such due to sindella but she still GREW UP in modern society w/ gio#homo magis have an innate agenderness to them perchance......idk wtf im saying im high as bawls#either way untuck queen xoxo
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um but seriously. why did they do that. why does balth smile at him like that. why does he call it 'genuine'. why are they impossibly in love. literally what is going through their minds. i think maybe they're cosmically entwined or something. no one else would ever do this.
#something you should never do is write 2000 words about them being sweet and in love the night before you will wake up to sigh not so#this may be a niche experience but its the one im having and. my god#anyone ever thought abt them#okay whatever i dont care#nmtd#nmtdaily#sorry for being this way in the tag
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i didnt really like the last scene of Primal (s2) but thematically it makes perfect sense and i can't be mad at it. Primal, besides being a visual delight of cartoonized gore & character design, is a story about the continuation of life. The second season could not make it more clear, with the emphasis put on the egg-laying scene, managing to imbue the long close-up of a cloaca with a sense of poetic wonder; and even more so, with the darwin episode, in which charles darwin explains primal theory before getting to play action hero. (this episode was honestly so shameless about having fun; it's a gem). This episode being the only one with dialogue that most of the audience would understand, as well as the only one breaking away from the main story, highlights its importance and makes it almost a demonstration of the series as a whole: one that openly chucks historical accuracy to the side to play with the concept of violence as a means of survival. what it doesn't mention, however, is the subsidiary theme of the importance of "family", aka the group one belongs to. It shines through with the main duo, and of course with the subplots of the giant and the vikings. With all this in mind, I can't argue against the thematic coherence and near necessity of the final sex scene--i may not have liked it, but it fits in with the narrative. As the caveman slowly dies from the wounds inflicted by the only being that could beat him (a godlike avenger), mira gazes at his paintings and gets a sense of his loneliness. They have travelled far together and while she may have found her village again, her previous lover is long dead. In many ways, they belong to one another and are "family" already (with the lizards too, of course). It's true that the scene, while quick, does not shy away in a classic fade-to-black--i'd call it off-puttingly intimate--but the series is very adult; it spreads intestines over just about every episode. And most of all, it's not grotesque or ridiculous--it's a tender rekindling of hope, symbolized by the dinosaur-riding daughter in the last images.
#trying to make my peace with this last scene sigh#i mostly feel like it confronted me with my discomfort with sex and the cognitive dissonance i tend to have#in which i will express disgust that is sometimes unwarranted. as sex is a human experience that has its place in narration like the rest#in this specific case primal was i think very much avoiding the trope of woman appears = immediate love interest#which was necessary imo bc primal partially appeals to somewhat unhealthy masculine ideals of bloody violent rage balanced by nothing else#and it could have easily turned 'just kinda edgy tho cool-looking male fantasy' exploiting the female character for tropes#which would have been boring at best as it'd run the risk of her being a cardboard cutout more than a character#whereas here she was used to further the general themes. which is way cooler and makes for a more rounded story.#conclusion: caveman & dinosaur action show made me have thought#pls watch primal. it's very good#primal#the associated tags are all kink lmao. sorry to intrude guys pls have fun#spear and fang#genndy tartakovsky's primal#chatterbones
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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i have a lot of passionate feelings about wrestling right now so i suppose ill go on about them in the tags
#being a gay man and watching wrestling is truly a unique experience#im very passionate about many wrestlers#and i definitely can feel more compleled by wrestlers im attracted to#but that rule is not always the case#like#attraction is not the rule and is only sometimes apart of it. i can be completely invested in a wrestler im unattracted to#making art related to wrestling also often feels related to my sexuality. i mean look at what i draw..but i def have more passion#if its fueled by my love for men and wrestling.#i also love wrestling itself as an artform#i want to be a wrestler myself#but i also want to create with it. art#be an interviewer. podcaster. make youtube videos on niche wrestling topics#i gen just want to do so much in the like field / with it#its literally saved my life multiple times#sigh#it has just. ignited passion in my life at times. i think its something really special#hope this makes any fucking sense jesus IM A GAY MAN WHO LOVES AN ARTFORM
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wake up babes, my favorite horrible little man is back in town <3
#swtor#swtor screenshots#we finally finished makeb! for him AND rhyst!! we're DOING IT#ch: alucren#imperial agent#my i love him i hate him has not at all reduced in his bg development as well he's just#man i can't get enough of chewin' on this guy and his WILD experience and justifications with life#lokin sighing at him a lot. and alucren being like 'you're the one who stayed'#lord. anyway. if you're like hey dot why are your agents in the same jacket- shhhh#shhhhh i tell you. shhhh. it's because it's hot. they're hot.#okay? okay. i'm a simple girl
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I don’t know anymore have a Caleb prepared to Fight for his bestie
“she asked for no pickles” lookin scene
#his character arc from goofy tall guy to Don’t Talk To Me Or My Friends Ever Again is WILD#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#in all seriousness this scene is based off of the concept of lars making his way onto the ship#caleb and beast both want him DEAD dead#also to explain emma:#she gained a genuine phobia from the trauma of her experience with lars and has nightmares about him like. 3 times a week#bundle that info with the fact that caleb and emma are quite close and badda bam you have the scene#technically speaking emma did ask for no pickles. she asked to not Be the pickles.#i’m normal about these two specifically i need to study their friendship under a microscope#to ramble about caleb for a second sorry-#he had enough soup before his death for the effects to. well. take effect. and he gained a rather mild form of amnesia but still Amnesia#he doesn’t fully remember darwin but knows in his heart that darwin is important to him so he stays near them when possible#(as a result from the trauma of being murdered) he sometimes has moments where he Shuts Down#but he’ll still try to be close to any of his friends ; though those moments bring him closer to emma because she’s usually the one to#guide him when he does that (she does it too)#he wants lars dead because he’s being angry ‘on behalf’ of darwin and emma his two favourite people in the world#obviously thats not really how it works but that’s what he feels is going on#’if not me then who’ type of situation with this guy yk.#also ALSO one time he absolutely destroyed felix because he found out that he’s been manipulating emma so there’s also that#caleb is VERY protective about emma actually. most of the time it’s unnecessary honestly#it only really becomes useful against the other spirits or against lars#like in the picture !! woah it comes full circle i know right#thats my cue to post the thing . sighs . caleb i love you don’t let lars hurt anyone else
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promised myself that i'm gonna fix up my notes from last sy so i can share it with upcoming humss students but i also keep going 'but what's the point'
#there were already so many from years ago who have posted and shared theirs#except theirs weren't as detailed; just the general summary for each topic#and mine are more detailed and i'm also contemplating translating them to tagalog#like this could serve as y'know. notes they could refer to to prepare themselves for the upcoming topics they'd tackle#but also...would i be robbing them of the experience to learn things on the pace their own teachers are setting?#in my own experience i only sought notes in the first few weeks of classes to ease myself into each subs and to learn what i'd be-#getting myself into#but i had fun just anticipating the upcoming topics without knowing anything about them#idk...is this just the result of me constantly mourning the state of the educational system in terms of the garbage curriculum and the-#general unpreparedness of most youths in choosing their tracks especially after the setback that the pandemic has brought on that are still#not given attention to by this garbage administration#combine that with the study of humanities & social science being looked down/underestimated by most filipinos#no wonder they're picking the stupidest and useless politicians & public servants. no wonder they're not paying much attention to the-#credentials of people they're electing to lead the country. ngayon letche-letche HGGSGAHSHAJS#anyway so many of the humss students i know chose careers that aren't consistent with their track and it's sad to see. sayang 2 years my-#loves :')#sigh......gonna do it now anyway#brain be very scattered rn. hate that <3#catdrain#rambles#non fandom
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.... OK I really hope I can keep this dude ♥
#miranda talking shit#Like... I just want him around me... Yeah. First visit I thought it may be how I felt. Now I'm like lol yeah#8+ hour visit later... Not even that I just... Am being used for sx like we talk so much#We talked about past experiences and love and children etc. Like... I guess we just vibe. Or rather I feel like we do#We make each other laugh and he seem to want to touch me and want to tell me about things#He talked about metal (or we about music but I'm not a metal head so) and he played songs for me#He found my reactions to them funny. Some song did some guitar thing and I was like “woah!”#He laughed and after the song went into explaining what it was. How it was done and such#“i wonder what you think about this... Or... Well maybe you won't care. But I think you may find it interesting?”#Me already clawing at the phone: yes yes I'm interested show me!!!#I love having people show me things willingly. Like even if it's embarrassing or whatever like hey I am going to love it#He showed Warhammer figures he had painted and talked about that#I love hearing people info dump like omgggg hiiii tell me everything uwu#I took up the... Idea of being fwb and being like... Exclusive about it. And he was like “I mean... I haven't really been seeing anyone els#Mainly bc I don't want to and bc it's so... -makes eye contact with me-“ me: tiring?”-deep sigh-yes so tiring.... “#He shared a lot of personal things in general and one thing in detail he definitely didn't have to#I mean I casually say I got daddy issues but that's like... Yeah my dad never cared for me and my siblings that's just how it is ya know#Idk man. Been a while I... Felt so... At ease and.... Open so quick with anyone. I liked Linus quick but not in this way#I hope I get to keep him around me for more... Like he's.... I think we have things in common but we are definitely still different enough#Want to learn everything I can about him. Plus he let's me be... Overly affectionate and serviceing him like an doting mom (how I want to#Treat everyone in my life but I know majority don't accept it). I get to bring him a drink and help him get dressed to go outside#Men who just goes along with how I want to express affection and not hate it is great#I mean. I don't think he have been touched this... Affectionately before either. I'm very intense and like.... Yeah it's like I'm in love#With you. Sorry I'm stroking your face and looking into your eyes and all :/#He just smiles. Me with basically heart shaped eyes and he's like: :)#Some nerdy brunette: hi (: me: omg? Spend all your free time with me???
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