#siggy lives

[intertexts]

gmmmmm

[mytyldotwav]

The contrast is VERY amusing to me

[tragedia]

thinking of perhaps adding my tabletop dnd characters to the roster, which includes: mei, a half-elven bard / sorcerer who's a seer; echo, air genasi druid who's a banished princess; and siggy, a wood elf oathbreaker paladin who's a vampire spawn right now.

[sigmarette]

Y'all I'm so socially clueless that when someone calls me a tr*nny I'm like

"I'm???? Part of a car???? Gods I hope it's not a Dodge transmission."

💀 bless my little autistic heart

[caracello]

trying not to be a kinner in the tags of a random person's post because it hit a sensitive spot.

[joshooop]

Welcome back to “Let’s Make Siggy’s Life a Living Hell”, the game show where I put dear old Sigma through the ringer for no other reason then “I just kind of felt like it.”

Part of a lovely smorgasbord of colorful characters, the rough sketch of lovely Sigma here is one of six yanderes in a little x reader fic I started as a fun little project (that quickly spiraled out of control, surprise surprise). Can you tell what kind of yandere he is? ‘Cuz I sure can’t. Please, I wrote the thing Iliveineternalsuffering—

Allow us to take a closer look at his character!

Sigma:

“The Lit Fuse”

Nicknames:

‘“It’”

‘Siggy’

Physicality:

Height: 5’4

Age: 21

Hair colour: A platinum blonde

Eye colour: Something unfeasible

Profile:

No wonder he’s always angry. He got named Sigma, of all things.

Not even Sigma male, like VLR Sigma. So the equivalent of an old man.

I know that I’m the only one who gets this reference, but I’m keeping it in because I think it’s funny.

Constantly short.

He’s the most Tsundere to ever breathe. Can’t go thirty seconds without insulting someone he cares about.

He’s exceptional at driving others away. He tends to bottle up his emotions until they explode, and he isn’t good at dealing with the consequences. This often leads to him feeling worse then when he began, which he then internalizes, which then stews,

Also our resident demolitions expert.

…It’s a hobby of his. (Dio) (Okay okay, I’ll stop with the VLR references. Carrot an author have a moment of joy?) (Yeah, I’m no Zero Jr.) (STOP)

He took the ‘destructive tendencies’ speeches to heart–why stop at emotionally destructive tendencies, he logiced. Keep stepping forward, he figured. So he went into electrics and mechanics.

Now, I’m not saying he’s crazy enough to carry explosives everywhere he goes. Except for the fact that he is and that’s exactly what I’m saying. He insists that it’s a safety precaution, that it doesn’t mean anything, but he would absolutely utilize it as a threat.

Playlist:

Higher–Lemaitre

SUCK IT UP–Rev cover

Personal Playlist:

Riot–Hollywood Undead

Here’s the link to the story if you want it lol, idk go wild—

(There is not much there 🕴️)

[daxite]

me, a huge ZE fan watching aoi getting absolutely obliterated in the poll

[omegapheromone]

Posts that make me whisper to myself, "it's just a fictional trope. It's just a fictional trope. It's j

Freud in the omegaverse

“we psychologically crave mating bites because our moms didn’t scruff us enough as kids”

Insufficient development of the oral stage results in a biting/nipping fixation too💀

“Um actually, I theorize that our Instinct-Dynamic (our id, if you will) is just a repression of our deepest desires”

“As a certified expert in women, I conclude that women want to be alphas because they secretly want to be men to gain the respect of their parents” (and Lord bless Karen Horney in this AU where she goes “uhuh and maybe all men who think their dynamic defines them are little pissboys? You ever consider that, Freud?? That you’re a litttle pissboy????”)

[twosides--samecoin]

Can we talk about how beautifully Lucy's character represents someone picking up Fallout for the first time?

She has all the perks she thinks she needs to have and is prepared as she thinks she needs to be until she barely survives her first fight against a raider. Dr. Siggi tells her if she insists upon being here, she must adapt. Lucy tells The Ghoul "I won't ever be like you" but has no idea what he had to do (or what she will need to do) to survive. She wants to be kind and fair to solve problems but utterly fails speech checks. She gets lost in side quests. She's shocked to learn her privilege when she sees a family of skeletons sat around a table who took poison together, and is forced to encounter it again when she says the "I recognize my privilege" line to Ma June and Ma June rejects her for it - getting by in the Wasteland is a life hard lived, one she can't understand.

And in the end she encounters a painful truth she couldn't have imagined. She finds what she's looking for and it's all fucked up. And her last move is still choosing kindness. She is faced with some bullshit "choose between two factions" decision that feels like it has no meaning in the face of war and cruelty. But when one door closes for her, another door opens for The Ghoul. So she chooses to follow him; to give back instead of take. And the world moves on. There's a billion more quests to follow. Lucy isn't done with the Wasteland yet, and the Wasteland is not yet done teaching her the game.

[calder]

never really digested the fallout show here did i. i think the first half is pretty great. doesn't work on the whole. heres a thought dump

i like maximus's arc a whole lot. he has the emotional range of lucy while being more thematically cohesive and incidentally funny. his immaturity is played for pathos and it's very succesful imo. a brotherhood deserter is a good perspective character. i like it when he asks lucy to make his penis explode.

i thought the power armor looked very silly in the trailers. then it looked very silly in the show but it felt intentional and i liked it. wobbling rigid tin can clowns

the shady sands shit among fans was annoying. fallout fans often latch on to misunderstandings to feel directly victimized. it really is the show's fault for being too scared to say the exact year shady sands exploded but "this means new vegas isnt canon" is the take of someone playing catch-up & looking for technicalities to justify their discontent

shady sands and vault 33 being IN LOS ANGELES shatters the lore of fallout 1 but that's not a ragebait headline that would make 3d fans feel like theyre being victimized on purpose so you rarely see it talked about. (i also dont think inconsistency is the end of the world but it feels like it precludes them from ever talking about the actual lore of Boneyard)

moldaver really doesnt make sense & the 'ncr remnants' lore is so silly and unsuccessful it's beneath acknowledgement

"the high clerics of the commonwealth" is REALLY GOOD. it probably didnt mean to synergize with the 'maxson cults' conflict mentioned in fo4 but those two details together are incredibly rich to me. i love to imagine that after fo4 some pissed off west coast brotherhood warpriests showed up and purged the east coast contingency for heresy. that's so good

the ghoul potion follows up on the ghoul potion secret plot in fo4. im also not sure if this was intentional but it rules

establishing that ghouls heal from wounds miraculously was necessary and cool

"ghouls need a drug to not flip feral" is fighting words. we're not doing that

the performance on siggi was wonderful. the creative choices around the character are very troubled.

i like how they introduce the enclave with a shot of a scientist putting a puppy in an oven. everyone knows how to write the enclave except bethesda. enclave guys should have to live with that

i like how the first shot of the brotherhood is a bunch of guys in white tees laughing and beating the shit out of a peer for no reason

i want a vaguely magical character to address the dog as dogmeat

we are definitely going to see new vegas NPCs portrayed by actors in s2 imo

[bravo4iscool]

i’ll never forgive bjorn for treating siggy bad, so take this🤪 (kinda fix-it, kinda not)

(bjorn ironside x fem!servant!reader)

tag list - @bumblebeesfromvenus @yazt09

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

“shhh little siggy,” you coo as you rock the small girl around in your arms. “do not cry, everything is okay.” she’s been fussy for hours now and nothing seemed to be able to calm her down.

you didn’t know what to do. you’d tried everything already. so, the only solution you knew was to search for your mistress aslaug. she made caring for siggy your main task but told you to search for her when you didn’t know what to do.

you keep the girl to your chest, a blanket draped over her as you make your way towards the great hall. surely aslaug would be there…

one of the men in front of the hall helps you open the heavy wooden door and you give him a thankful smile. once you’re inside you freeze. aslaug wasn’t there. or so it seemed.

two pairs of eyes stared at you. ragnar and…bjorn.

you slightly bow and press siggy to your chest. you knew bjorn wasn’t fond of his daughter. otherwise he would be the one caring for her, not some slave that his stepmother owned.

“i’m sorry my lord,” you hastily apologize, already retreating. “i—i was searching for queen aslaug.” you wince when siggy starts to cry again. you wanted her to stop, but you didn’t know how.

ragnar keeps his gaze on your before he stands up without a word. you swallow, your grip on the girl tightening. slowly the king walks towards you, extending his arms once he came to a halt in front of you.

“give my granddaughter to me, will you,” he mumbles and what where you supposed to say? no? you hesitatingly pull siggy away from your chest and give her to ragnar.

he smiles down at her once he cradles her in his arms, slightly rocking her around. “look at you,” he whispers. “are you making trouble, mhh?” he wants to know, tickling her cheek with his finger.

you carefully watch ragnar as he holds the little girl in his arms, your eyes drifting over to bjorn. the oldest prince still sat at the table, his gaze fixated on his father and daughter.

“come here bjorn,” ragnar waves his son over, his eyes never leaving siggy. “you have not seen your daughter in months.” you only stand in front of your king, head bowed.

bjorn doesn’t follow his fathers command. that makes ragnar scoffs and shake his head. “what did i expect?” he mutters beneath his breath before he looks up at you. “what’s your name?”

you lift your head, not daring to look into his eyes as you tell him your name. ragnar hums in acknowledgment and places siggy against his chest. “where do you sleep?” he asks the next question.

“queen aslaug gifted me a small hut,” you reply, fumbling with your hands. why would he want to know where you live and sleep? “my main task is to raise siggy.”

ragnar looks back at bjorn, than at you again. “you will move in with bjorn,” he then says and your eyes widen. bjorn jumps up from his stool.

you immediately shake your head, stumbling over your words. “my lord, i—i can’t do that!” you shake your head. but ragnar just scoffs and shrugs.

“you can and you will. i just ordered you to.” the older man ignored his furious son while he watches siggy giggle. “take two men and let them help you move,” he gestures, not bothering to look at you. “i want to spend some time with my precious granddaughter…”

you swallow and bow your head. you knew you couldn’t defy him. he owned you, he could make you do whatever he wanted… “of course my lord,” you whisper as you retreat to do as you were told.

-

the next weeks feel like pure torture to you. bjorn doesn’t look at you or his daughter, he doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t acknowledge you. he just comes and goes, always a new woman in tow.

you try to get siggy out of the house as much as possible so you both don’t need to witness it. it disgusted you. thankfully queen aslaug allowed you to stay with her during the day, helping her keep an eye on her boys.

“does he treat you well?” aslaug asks you one day and you freeze. could you tell her the truth? because right now, bjorn was treating you like a piece of trash.

you hesitate with your answer before you look at her, “he…does not hit me. if that is what you mean,” you mumble, continuing to braid siggy’s short hair.

aslaug purses her lips. “that is not what i mean,” she says, placing her hand on your shoulder. “tell me the truth,” she softly urges. “please.”

you look up from siggy’s hair and look at your queen. “he doesn’t talk to me,” you—truthfully—answer, biting the inside of your cheek. “i try to be out with siggy as often as possible because…because he keeps brining women over…”

aslaug hums along in acknowledgment, gently squeezing your shoulder. “you can leave and go back to you old hut, you know,” she says and you shake your head.

“i can not… king ragnar has ordered me.” you say in a whisper, averting your gaze. “i can’t just leave…”

“you can, if i make you a free woman.”

your head shoot’s up and you look at aslaug. “what?” your voice is breathless, almost not audible as you stare at your queen.

she smiles and squeezes your shoulder again. “i can make you a free woman. then you can take siggy and move back to your old hut. it would be up to you wether you want to still work for me or not…”

“thank you, my queen,” you breathe out, tears gathering in your eyes. “i don’t know if i can ever repay you for that…”

aslaug chuckles, “you taking care of siggy is enough payment.”

-

you stuff your stuff into a small leather bag, siggy strapped to your chest. you wanted to leave without bjorn noticing; you doubted he would notice anyways.

just when you were about to leave the door flies open and his hulking frame fills the frame. “where are you going?” he asks in a deep grunt, crossing his arms in front of his shoulders.

“i’m leaving,” you swallow. “i’m moving back to my hut.”

he slowly walks towards you, “you can’t do that. you know what my father has ordered.” his eyes fall to siggy on your chest and narrow.

“queen aslaug has made me a free woman,” you reply, placing your hand on the back of siggy’s head. “she gave me the freedom to chose and i decided that i will move back to my hut.”

your voice is firm and determined—you didn’t know where you got the confidence to stand up to him like that.

bjorn frowns and takes another step into your direction. “a free woman, huh?” his eyes bore into yours, something dangerous and unpredictable in them. “then we shall marry.”

your jaw goes slack as you stare at bjorn. “what?” that’s all you can say. you’re at a loss of words. why in all that’s holy did he want to get married to you? he had all those women and now that you’re a free woman he says that’s he wants to marry you?

“you’re a free woman now and siggy needs a mother, someone who’ll care for her.” bjorn shrugs, keeping his eyes on you while he talks.

a sarcastic laugh leaves your lips and you shake your head with a scoff. “maybe her father should man the fuck up and start to care for his daughter!”

“you know nothing about me and siggy,” bjorn snarls, grabbing the braid at the back of your head. “you do not know what she reminds me of, what she makes impossible to forget.”

you hiss in pain, having no other choice than to look at bjorn. “i lost my child and my husband,” you say in a low voice. “do you see me fucking everything with two legs and a dick? so you see me leaving siggy in the dirt?” your gaze is hard and your words hit him like nothing he ever felt. “every time i look at her i see what i could’ve had, being in her presence is painful for me but still i don’t behave like a child!”

you rip your head away from his grip and somehow manage to slip past him. he doesn’t move. you look back at him, and press siggy’s head to your chest. “grow up and learn to live with the pains of life, bjorn.”

-

you slender over the market, siggy strapped to your chest and a basket in your hand. it’s been three weeks, maybe four since you let bjorn’s hut and it was hard for you to believe but he actually made amends to see and get to know his daughter.

he was visiting almost daily and by now you felt sure enough to leave them both alone for two to three hours while you went to work for aslaug.

but right now you were alone, trying to run a few errands. siggy was babbling along and you smiled down at her. she was such a sweetheart…

you came to a hold in front of a vegetable stand, eying the few vegetables with a slight frown on your face.

“they’re all fresh,” the young farmer smiles, offering you a tomato. “harvested just this morning.” you smile at him and take the vegetable.

you turn it in your hand, looking down at siggy. “should we take some of those?” you ask her and she giggles along. you chuckle and look at the farmer.

“how much for a few of those?” you want to know, tilting your head in question.

the farmer smirks and takes the tomato from your hand. “i’ll give them to you for free. it’s not often i see such a pretty young lady roaming the market all on her own.” he winks at you and you feel yourself blush.

“why, thank you,” you chuckle while you place a few tomatoes in your basket. “this is very kind of you.” there’s a small smile on your face and a certain twinkle in your eyes.

just when you were about to leave you felt someone behind you and a hand extended to place a few coins on the stand in front of you. “don’t flirt with my fiancée,” a familiar voice threatens and you can see the farmer slowly nod.

you bite the inside of your cheek and turn towards bjorn. you stare up at him, ready to say something but all he does is—gently—grab your shoulder and pull you away.

“we talked about this,” you grumble as bjorn takes your basket, completely ignoring your words. “i said i won’t marry you.” you stop walking, placing your hands on your hips.

bjorn groans and turns around. “do i look like i care? i want to be the father my daughter deserves and you are the one taking care of her,” he argues. “it is only natural we marry. after all, i do not want to separate the both of you.”

he takes a step in your direction. “i know i made mistakes and i am sorry but i am willing to make this work out.” his hand itches towards your face.

“you don’t love me, bjorn.” your voice is a sigh and you turn your head away.

“but i can try.”

(excuse this shitty ending HELP😭. i’m debating if i should write a pt.2 tho😭)

[notjustjavierpena]

I think it’s time to pull the plug indefinitely.

Hiya! Happy one year anniversary to me!

It’s been a hell of a ride to be in this fandom during the last couple of weeks but now, I’m at the point where I’m just reminded of the bad more than the good. I’ve not written anything for nearly two weeks without feeling sick to my stomach. I can’t block from a side-blog which makes everything worse, so I am deleting my tumblr app and bookmark.

Hubby means so much to me. He lives on in my head 💖🥺 Perhaps he will continue on my AO3.

I’m so grateful if you have been reading my work during this year. You are a real one! Thank you for the love and support.

I scheduled a few posts for the future. Including this.

I’ll be back if I get back into a groove or Pedro makes me wanna give this community another go.

Love, Siggy

[idontmindifuforgetme]

don’t know if you’ve already shared (or if you wouldn’t like to) but i’d love to hear about your resolutions and goals for this year!

Hi so sorry for how late this is!! I have quite a few!

Ins —

Being more decisive. Trusting myself w calling the shots. Just making a decision and sticking w it.

Financial literacy

More reading. Just more.

Attacking things I’m uncomfortable with instead of shying away from them.

More silence. I don’t need to have my earphones in all the time

More time w family!!! I need to put in as much effort to connect w them as I do w my friends

Green tea every night

More pictures. I have a serious problem of just not being incentivized to take any

More scientific literature for fun!!

Piggybacking off that point—making it instinctive to apply things I study to real life situations. This is a niche one but it just helps me process stuff faster and I just think it’s a super dope learning technique

Pushing myself harder. It’s just not my preference to be mediocre.

Nourishing myself w my own affirmations. Cutting out my need for other people’s validation

Educational documentaries

Making more of an effort to connect w my Arab heritage

Being my natural self. It’s okay if I’m not bubbly all the time. Sometimes I just want to chill

Whole foods

Less phone time (I say this every year but like I want 2024 to be the year I’m truly disconnected/using my phone in a healthy way)

Body oils!

More tennis dates w friends!

10k steps a day

Sticking religiously to my hour by hour schedule

Keeping promises to myself as ardently as I keep promises to others

Being more bold w fashion!!

Hitting the gym 5 days a week

Reading more literature in Arabic and French

Learning how to cook. I cannot live off Siggi’s for the rest of my life lol

Exploring more music genres

Learning the piano!!

No longer feeling guilty for withholding information. Privacy is not a bad thing.

Getting more and more independent!!

Becoming the friend I want to be. Other people need to show up as well, but I can’t hold people up to standards I myself can’t reach.

Outs —

Centralizing luxury brands. Thinking that price equates to quality. The fact of the matter is quality equates to quality. Price is irrelevant.

Relying on snap judgment responses to situations. I need to learn to wait at least 15 minutes. I can be impulsive asf

Jumpiness. Nervous energy. I just want to be more calm and controlled in how I carry myself. I want to exude self-assuredness

Checking my phone first thing in the morning!!

Drinking less than 3 liters of water a day

Being available all the fucking time. If someone has an issue w me for being busy, maybe they’re not someone I want in my life in the first place.

Being too forgiving. Not immediately allowing someone back into my life doesn’t make me a bitch. Immediately running to fix things w someone doesn’t make me selfless. Being the bigger person in situations where I was nowhere near in the wrong doesn’t make me mature. It’s just symptomatic of a lack of boundaries.

Consuming dumb shit in the name of “keeping up w pop culture.” I don’t care about celebrity controversy #7282727. I don’t care about celebrity selfie #827226. It doesn’t elevate my life in any way. I legit just don’t care. And this goes for real life gossip w friends too

Taking too long to text back!! A day is fine, but sometimes I take longer and I think that’s a shitty trait to have. I can absolutely afford to respond to people faster.

Too much chocolate!! I’m a sweet tooth but I must preserve my skin/overall health

Motivation over discipline. I need to be attuned to discipline always.

Control freak antics. I can’t control people. It’s not my responsibility. They’ll act how they act. All I can do is control my reaction to it

Rumination/unhealthy venting. When I’m done w something, I’m done w something.

Overcompensating for other people’s shortcomings. It’s not my responsibility to coddle others. It’s okay if something is too much for me.

Having no boundaries w others. People aren’t entitled to private information. It doesn’t make me deceptive to withhold things—it just makes me selective. People need to earn private details about me.

Curating things I like. I simply like what I like. It’s not that deep.

[sigmarette]

You seem to give pretty solid advice on the games/creative media industries.

Dare I ask, what is the WORST job offer you have ever gotten?!

*sigh* this one's a fresh wound. I REALLY wanted to work for this studio too! [rips the bandage off and pours salt in the wound]

I shan't name names, but I was offered £40,000 a year at a company in Cambridge. I crunched the numbers- which might look different for me as a foreigner. With Immigration/Visa costs, bills, living expenses and basic bodily needs accounted for. As cool as living in Cambridge, and working within the historic scientific complex would be, I don't think living in a cardboard box down by the river is a smart move.

I love the studio in question, so I... I'm not gonna name drop them.

I am a very sad bitch

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep2

• dogmeat's introduction 🥺 • the enclave being shown as supremely evil because how could you incinerate live puppies 😭 • i want more backstory on siggi because i am curious if this is change of heart or like a mole • the super mutant hand needs to go from easter egg to reality next season forreal • i noticed siggi was drinking whiskey? to numb the pain of putting that cold fusion chip in his head--- i also wonder if he was drinking because he knew he wasn't going to make it • saw on reddit someone asking so it's the enclave who has cold fusion? and i'm still a bit confused about that because... i was thinking moldaver had something to do with its creation but then siggi knew exactly who lucy was... if the enclave is supposed to be a continuation of the pre war us government, then it feels like there's more tying the enclave and vault tec together than i thought

• in the escape scene, it seems like the other scientist knew siggi was betraying the enclave, but how? if they have cold fusion, was it obvious he was "stealing" it and trying to give it to someone else? maybe i have gaps in my knowledge here • siggi genuinely does seem like he's trying to do the right thing though 🥲 • dogmeat seeing that guy try to harm siggi and dogmeat fuckin' him up ❤️ • game dogmeat being referred sometimes as a boy and show dogmeat being a girl lol [love the gender doesn't matterism here gldfgld]

• the people who are enslaved work at the enclave being held there and escape meaning death • if these are namibia scenes where lucy is trekking, they are breathtaking, wonderful worldbuilding • lucy seeing a tumbleweed for the first time and going "the heck?" but then i like, remember she doesn't really know what "wind" is 😭 [and this also subverts the "tumbleweed blowing in the wind through a desert or desolate place" trope, i'm sorry but this a masterclass in comedy lmao] • her coming across some bodies but this time skeletons at a dinner table, a family of four i believe, all having taken poison, vault tech brand [a chilling scene but fallout is known for their hilariously placed skeletions so there's one with a cup of dirt in front of it] • probably the first time lucy is being confronted by hank and/or vault tec's lies, depending • lucy setting a [camp] fire, and me recognizing immediately it was a bad move [i watch too much stuff 💀] • i honestly' can't believe she took off her pip boy • dogmeat finding lucy 🥺 • it was destiny in so many ways because dogmeat is tearing that radroach the fuck up • siggi giving like a monologue in the most unsettling voice ever was so funny to me • siggi trying to tell her these animals [if you can call them that] up there are insane and genuinely in the nicest way possible trying to tell her she should go home • "question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether?" is some crazy foreshadowing • the cold fusion capsule glowing as he walks away • lord titus being an asshole and maximus doing the same to thaddeus lmao • lord titus "wanting to shoot something" and his stupidity leading to his own demise • [i like neither lord titus or the actor that plays him so dkfsdkgd] • dogmeat going into the yao guai den and coming back with a hand like it was sharing it with them 😭 • maximus being continuously disrespected and knocked down a peg, he doesn't deserve this 😞 • insane how close and somehow inadvertently hot on the trail lord titus and maximus was for siggi and dogmeat • learning squires appears to be a dime a dozen and that's one reason lord titus sent maximus deeper into the cave, the other is that he was scared • maximus seemed to be both disillusioned and struck with fear watching the yao guai attack lord titus--- so it was almost breathtakingly offensive when lord titus decided to blame maximus for everything and wanting him like, court martialed almost for this incident, despite maximus being small of gun and armourless, despite them both being scared, lord titus blames maximus for lord titus' own failings • "this wasteland fucking sucks!" love that running motif • anyways glad that guy died, next! • lmao this very disgusting man in a diaper or something being thankful lucy didn't shoot him but also drinking all her water 😭 • lucy getting a taste of wasteland selfishness and desperation gdfgdgfd • maximus belongs in a power suit • this chicken fucking man having the elixir to immortality or regeneration or whatever it is 😭 • and the chicken farmer, in a cameo, is a makeup designer and props department person 🙂 • in a beautiful shot, it looks like lucy is in the famous car forest or a replica of it • her trying to be convivial and people just not having it 😢 • filly is very fallout and i assume gamers enjoyed this scene because • everyone is in bizarre and comical mad max style outfits, iguana meat, giving metaton vibes • so i just read filly was named because it's a landfill but also there's the fact it was filmed in an airplane and automobile graveyard outside new jersey [close to philadelphia] and that there is a fillmore, california • also saw where it's modeled to look a lot like megaton and i thought this on first viewing • i didn't even realize cooper was already shown sitting and waiting, the crossing of paths was crazy • lucy seeing degeneracy first hand 💀 • lucy seeing weird shit and smiling because she, too, is weird

• cooper mysteriously and sexily watching from afar after cornering his bounty • "barv get in here" not ma june calling her friend to come and point and laugh at lucy • moldaver being ma june's client and that's why she shuts lucy down so fast after she asks about that pip boy • ma june saying lucy got all ten fingers, damn the writers were so • "i know that it can't have been easy for you up here, what with all the murder and the dirt" lmao lucy please • lucy realising vault tec's demonic saviour complex is very hard to preach about to wastelanders, people who have survived for centuries and without the help of the vaulties • lucy really is from the rich part of town because ma june was so insulted by her lies, she took her gun out • cooper, siggi, lucy intersecting was so crazy though • kind of wondering why siggi didn't wear a disguise as a wanted man • siggi trying to be nice and warning lucy to leave versus ma june harshly reminding cooper him and his ghoul kind aren't wanted in filly • getting chills that siggi is explaining to lucy what her vault experiment basically was as i didn't see it as that on first watch • siggi was telling her to go home because if someone smart realized who she was or where she came from, all hell would break loose • ok so cooper says the bounty went out from all six agencies but i could only think of three, wondering who they all are • ma june mentions she was given caps for siggi's safe transport out of filly, cooper mentioning a bidding war, is that why he shot siggi's leg clean off [probably did because bounty was dead or alive] • ma june getting people clipped by putting caps on whoever can take cooper down first 😭 • cooper smiling as all them people descend on him because this is the "the love of the game" shit he was talkin' bout 😭💀 • "all this murder makin' me hungry" cooper essentially • him eating those cherry tomatoes and then paying for them 🥲 • almost forgot cooper actually did get shot multiple times and kept goin', ghouls are somethin' else • noticing cooper gave ma june a nonlethal leg shot versus basically sending siggi to his demise with his • cooper stabbing not shooting dogmeat • cooper was about to shoot but lucy's candor and morality was a breath of fresh air, he was so shook lmao • he was so charmed, he kept walking, leaving him open to her shooting him in quite literally his heart [ok symbolism] 😭, smiling and everything • "well now that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs" lmaooo they created ultrajet for ghouls because jet isn't strong enough for them • lucy being immediately impressed with the t60 • i hate maximus had to lie because this was so "knight in shining armour" but why did he reveal his face to lucy knowing if the brotherhood of steel had found out this early about what he did, he'd be dead meat like • cooper almost shot that girl like three times ldgld • i genuinely think the tranquilizer effected him but just a teensy bit • siggi saying he could still make the trip and ma june saying he'd be lucky to make it to breakfast ☹️ • jim's limbs has be cracking up every time • them installing that robo leg onto siggi is the most gory and disgusting scene to me and i hope it gets worse • something oddly sweet about siggi saying lucy can take him to moldaver after nearly begging lucy to go back home for her own safety, she put her life on the line to save him 😞 • cooper getting mopped by maximus in that power suit sends • i didn't realize after maximus made cooper fall, cooper says "goddamn, that hurt" 😭 • "you drive that thing like a fucking shopping cart" and it's a power suit gldgfld • that snake oil salesman really was telling the truth, he maybe could've healed siggi • cooper petting dogmeat while giving them a stimpak, cooper showing a genuine smile while doing so • siggi really lost too much blood and i thought this back in filly • siggi saying the cynanide pill from vault tec was the most humane thing they produced, pre war was a dark time

[endlessthxxghts]

@notjustjavierpena inspired me - i'm finally writing a disabled!reader fic with the intention of sharing it with you all. why?

because i, siggy and i - and others alike - deserve the representation. we deserve the complexity of our sexual lives, the raw beauty and intimacy of it, to be heard and seen. and that's why although not many might be able to enjoy it as they would with an able-bodied reader, there will be another community, one that lies in the shadows, who will be able to see more of a glimpse of themselves than ever before seen.

and for those that are able-bodied that read this story and still find enjoyment, who still were able to find the beauty within - thank you. at the end of the day, we're all humans living uniquely beautiful lives. and i hope that i could provide you a mere glimpse into a life like mine.

dbf!joel miller x disabled!afab!reader, coming soon (within the coming week maybe?). a lot of the experiences i highlight in this story are real experiences i've gone through, tailored slightly for purposes of the fic, but these experiences - nonetheless - are real. i'm super stoked to see what you guys think.

thank you again to siggy, who has inspired me and given me the courage to write this. this (sweet and... pretty nasty..) one's for you. <3