#sibi writes

[whiskeysorrows]

from the cannibal to his lover by Patroclus Minh

[Text ID:

my love,

i still remember the night they came — that is, i remember the dulled haze, the cocked barrel of a shotgun staring down at us. how, one summer, i crushed poppies between my palms. & how it stains now. the wailing splatter to blend with the crime. it’s sick:

the sight of your bones upon my bones, the taste of your flesh inside my flesh. here: my depravity. here: your love, your love. won’t you deny a starving thing this feast? i came here, stricken, stumbling, to be cast as both predator & prey. hoping, hoping whatever meal will reveal itself. i came begging for whatever cruel fists to glutton myself on. tender tendrons,

slick muscles to slip my tongue between. that autumn in the rain, every droplet like gasoline, your touch like a flitting flame on september night. your hands, your hands. the taming of a beast seeking rotted meat. your lips parted in muffled laughter (lips that tasted like ash & the scent of petrol & cheap rose wine from sainsbury’s). & my shaking, soaked frame draped in your leather jacket — the most patient lover;

a warm dinner baking in the oven. your belly rolls softer than bread bought fresh from the bakery in Soho. my tentative fingers tracing constellations in the drizzled dressing. & there are times when i can’t stomach a meal, your soothing smile churning in acid. times when my monstrosity casts itself unto the light. when you’d pull me closer to your carcass & point my teeth to your heart. (& when you hold me like all things desperate to be saved & when you murmur sweet nothing in my ear & when you hum billie holiday & —)

what a sin, don’t you think? this forsaken feast below darkened streetlights. our appetite consuming worship in devotion. in devoration. do you remember the night they found us? when they dragged me off your ribs, this prison between us. when peristalsis became confession instead of repentance. do you remember how your intestines gutted & spilled & claimed your name for their cage? how our apartment flooded with punishing blue light, how your mother’s favourite vase shattered under their brutal boots.

the day after they left, after i swept away the glass & broken beer bottles, after i punched the wall & tried to imagine you kissing away the bruise, i swore to myself i’ll be the animal they want. i’ll sing an ode to you while rome burns. i’ll be the moon in that holy night. 

my love, my love. what i mean is: i’ll wait a lifetime for you. i’ll gift my hunger your veins. i’ll howl this injustice at the sky like coyotes screaming. my love, my love, won’t you stay?

/End ID]

[berryberrykoo]

SIBII ARRRGH EHEHEHRB I LOVE THIS

im so so soft for them,, i missed them dearly <3

theyre absolutely made for eachother :((

"Jungkook is always plagued with guilt when he has to leave you for a business trip. His anxiety that you might be angry at him for not being present is especially high this time around and only your safe embrace can help him calm down."

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: married life!AU, mild Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Warnings: Jungkook is anxious, stressed & guilty, he cries, she is so comforting, hugs and kisses, needy sex, sloppy mutual masturbation, handjob, pussy fingering, penetrative sex facing each other, until he pushes her to her back and fucks her missionary, strength & muscle kink, he is so passionate and rough in missionary, I don't think that there are distinctive roles in this, I guess you can call it Top!Jungkook with a Mommy kink, she calls him Bunny at first before he fucks her to the state where she can only call him by his name, dirty talk, sensory deprivation in the sense that they fuck in complete darkness, they're so so desperate for each other, tears because it's so good, multiple orgasms for her, creampies, cockwarming as aftercare, with cuddles and kisses <3, they're fucking soulmates

Wordcount: 5.3k

a/n: i wrote this after kook's solo concert because he did it to me. i also reread THE angst chapter of aaol and i think this influenced me as well. i really want my kookie back

The plane wasn’t supposed to land this late. The plans were all ruined. 

Jungkook scans his eyes over the kitchen. Empty. Clean. He abandons his suitcase by the stairs leading up and walks to the fridge. He opens it. His heart stings. The plans were all ruined. He wasn’t supposed to come home this late. You made dinner for him. The prettily plated food is still on its original plate for him. You put a glass bowl over it to keep it fresh. 

“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out and closes the fridge. He feels so fucking guilty that he wants to throw up. He should have been there. He should have eaten your food and talked to you during dinner. He should have fucking been there.

You knew that he wouldn’t come home. He was aware that his text came way too late, but he still had hoped that you hadn’t started cooking yet. Of course you had. 

It has been longer than a month since he last was in Seoul and you always cook the grandest things as a welcome home surprise. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to cook, you do it because you want to. Which makes him feel all the shittier right now. He wasn’t there to appreciate it. He had one job - the most important job of all - and he fucking failed you.

Jungkook walks back to his suitcase and lifts it. He will carry it upstairs and then do the laundry tomorrow. He can’t be bothered tonight. It’s already too late. He already wasted too much time being his shitty CEO self.

The dressing room is empty and clean. It faintly smells like lavender in here. He knows it’s because you cleaned this room recently. Jungkook discards the suitcase by the dresser and leaves the room.

He takes a shower in the upstairs bathroom. He didn’t want to go downstairs yet. He is a little scared to do so. He shouldn’t have arrived so late. He is scared of your reaction. He gets so sad when you are disappointed in him. He hasn’t decided yet whether it’s his anxiety disorder talking or the truth, but he thinks that you will be angry at him.

He is angry at himself. He’s a fucking shithead of a husband. That’s what he fucking is. 

Jungkook manages not to cry in the shower even if he really wanted to. His feelings are eating him up alive. He feels so stressed. So tired. So exhausted. Work has been hell. And the fact that it was in a country he barely knew the language of and he had to be without made it even worse. He feels so drained. 

The shower doesn’t help. It cleans him, nothing more. Jungkook doesn’t put on clothes and leaves for downstairs. He uses the never ending city lights as his guidance. The wind carries the distant purring of the traffic to the windows. The slightly higher pitched pitter patter of his naked feet on marble floor is loud in comparison. The sound stops in sync with Jungkook stopping in front of the bedroom door. 

His hand is shaking. He has to hold it to calm down. He is so scared. You will be so disappointed with him. He wouldn’t even be surprised if you told him to sleep on the couch tonight. You never did so before, but things can change. One month is awfully long and he left you hanging today. He wouldn’t blame you if you sent him away. 

Jungkook takes a shaky breath for courage and steps inside. The room smells like home. Jungkook feels his throat tighten in emotion. This is what home smells like. And he was too late for it. He swallows down his tears and tries to walk it off.

The electric blinds are closed all the way, putting the room into complete darkness. Jungkook uses the light of his phone screen to tiptoe to the bathroom. He still needs to brush his teeth. He does so using his phone’s flashlight as the only light source. He didn’t want to turn on the big lights and risk waking you. Or maybe he didn’t want to look into his own eyes. He can’t bear to face himself tonight.

Jungkook leaves the bathroom door open and tiptoes to the bed. His phone screen gives off enough light that he can see you once he arrives by the bedside. 

You are turned to his side, resting your hand on his blanket. Your cheek is squished as you are sleeping halfway on your stomach. Your lips are parted as soft breaths leave you. Jungkook looks back at your hand resting on his side and gulps down the painful lump in his throat. You shouldn’t have had to fall asleep alone tonight. You shouldn’t have had only his memory to hold.

Jungkook picks up your hand so he could slip under the covers. You react to the gentle nudge with a hum.

“Mhm”, you let out and roll over, now showing off your back.

Jungkook is aware that you didn’t do it on purpose, but it feels like it. You turned your back to him and it’s his own fault. 

Jungkook tugs the blanket under his arm and touches your back. Up and down. Up and down. He feels you breathe. Your warmth is so familiar to him. He missed it so much. 

He missed you so much.

His eyes start burning.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers shakily and turns his back to you. He can’t face you anymore. It hurts so much. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to cry. 

The sheets ruffle as you move around again. Jungkook doesn’t feel the movement because you and he have separate mattresses and separate blankets to get the best sleep ever. You shared a mattress and blanket at first, but decided to upgrade your bed a year ago. Jungkook likes his mattress firm and his blanket thin, while you love to have a softer mattress and your blanket to be thick. And the little mattress movements as one of you rolled around or the blanket wars which once managed to wake you are gone as well. Changing one mattress and blanket for two was the best decision ever. You and he sleep like royalty these days.

Jungkook hears the sheets ruffle as you move around and then the sound of a hand sliding over soft sheets. Warmth touches his back. He tenses up, stays silent. You draw paths along his back, feeling him up. Seeing him. Just like he did all those years ago when you were still masked soulmates aching to be together. It became a little thing between you and him to trace the other in darkness as to make out if it was your other half. You became so good at it these days.

Your touch dances up to the nape of his neck after exploring his upper back. Jungkook shivers and aches to lean into your touch. He is scared to do so now. He already waited for too long to speak up. You’ll know that he is intentionally acting asleep to avoid talking to you.

You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are propped up on your elbow, using the position to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him.  

Jungkook exhales shakily, releasing all of his tension with a tremble. This just broke him. To be cradled and kissed. It broke him.

“Are you awake?” you whisper softly. The words swirl against his neck.

He nods his head.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

He hesitates. Should he be truthful? Will you be hurt if he was? 

He shakes his head. He can’t lie to you. Not like this. Not when you hold him so safely. Not when you have broken him with your embrace. 

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m sorry”, he presses out and sobs softly.

“Hey”, you gasp, straightening up, “hey, are you crying? What’s wrong?” you babble and roll him to his back so you could cradle his cheeks. You wipe his tears away, keeping close by resting your chest against his’, “what’s wrong, Bunny?” 

“I’m sorry for tonight. I’m so sorry for being late and, and not showing up. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, hey it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. The flight was delayed. You couldn’t have known.”

“I saw the food”, he confesses and squeaks sadly, “I didn’t show up, I’m so sorry. I should have texted sooner, I should have-”

“How could you have texted me sooner if you didn’t even know that the flight would be delayed?” 

Jungkook falters. He sniffles repeatedly, taking sharp gasps for air to regulate his breathing. What you say makes sense to him. He didn’t even think of it yet, despite it being the most logical explanation. So it was his anxiety disorder kicking in. 

You caress his left cheek while your right hand guides your pointer finger up and down along the bridge of his nose. You call this touch your magic touch because there is some sort of magic in it to calm down any sort of anxiety Jungkook experiences. Jungkook flutters his eyes closed and sighs as comfort overtakes him.

“Now tell me how you should have texted me sooner, mhm?” you ask in a soft, comforting voice.

“I don’t know”, Jungkook whispers.

“Of course you don’t, it’s impossible. The flight was delayed. It was an unfortunate series of events and not your fault”, you assure him, “unless you intentionally stayed away. Mhm is that it? Did you not wanna see me already, you sneaky Bunny?” you add in a joking tone, making Jungkook giggle.

He shakes his head, “no Mommy, I wanted to see you.”

“Good”, you say in a fond voice and claim his lips in a smooch. 

Jungkook gasps because he hadn’t expected it. The feeling finally seeps into his consciousness. He is kissing you. After thirty three days without you, he is finally kissing you again. Jungkook whimpers and hooks his fingers behind your head, deepening the kiss with trembling lips. He is kissing you again. He is finally realizing that this is happening, that he is back with you. He hooks his arms behind your head and pulls you closer, asking for your taste. You part your lips and meet his begging tongue, while your fingers explore the softness of his hair.

You feel a little dizzy from sleep. You didn’t have the deepest sleep tonight because you knew that Jungkook would come home and you subconsciously refused to find deep sleep. So when Jungkook got into bed, the rustling of his blanket woke you. The pull was instant. You needed to feel him, make sure that he was finally with you again. Your body didn’t expect to be in the current position for such a long time. Your arms are weak and your head is dizzy.

You break the kiss because exhaustion makes you do it.

Jungkook chases you, rolling you and him over so he was the one on top. His right arm rests around you just a little under your breasts, his left hand is cradling your cheek while his right hand is deepening in your hair as best as your texture allows it. He claims your lips in a kiss again, whimpering into it as his body seeks your closeness. Two layers of blanket are keeping you apart. Jungkook doesn’t think, he merely acts and pulls his blanket off of him. Next your blanket. He opens it and slides his arm under it. He takes you softly in his hand and presses you against him at the same time as his body sinks under your blanket. He trembles. It is so warm under your covers and from what he can feel, you are wearing one of his sleep shirts. He grabs a bundle of it and twists, needing you to be so much closer than you already are. 

“Please”, he begs in a shaky voice, tugging at your shirt.

You sit up far enough that you can take off your shirt. You throw it to the side and fall back down.

“Thank you”, Jungkook whimpers and cradles you against his chest. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and places his right hand on the back of your head to support it for you.

You wrap your arms around him, letting out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding in. You have him back. This is how your Jungkook hugs. Thirty three days without him are unbearably long. So long in fact that your skin started to unwillingly forget the warmth and softness of him. It comes rushing back again now that you are hugging without barriers.

“___”, Jungkook croaks and presses you closer, “oh god.” 

“I missed you too”, you whisper, burying your hand deep in his hair. You pull him closer. Your breasts squish against his chest, the pressure feels like heaven. It gets easier to breathe and releases you of tension you didn’t even know you possessed. You have your Jungkook back. 

Jungkook feels overwhelmed. He ached for your hug ever since he left. Thirty three days without you were hell. You are his constant in his life. When he comes home from work, you are there, hugging him and talking to him and falling asleep with him. When he leaves for work, you are right by his side, talking to him and kissing his cheek as he drops you off at university. When he has free time, he knows he can spend it with you. You are always there. You are his constant. The person who will always be by his side. The warmth he can always return to. So to go without you for more than a month was hell. 

“I missed you so much”, he confesses. 

“Me too, Bunny. Me too.”

You felt just as lonely without him. Years ago, you wouldn’t have batted an eye at the thought of being along for a month, but Jungkook changed you in the most wonderful of ways. He is your person, the comfort you most look forward to, the home you never want to leave. You have him by your side in the morning and have him back again by the evening. You share the last second of consciousness with him before sleep and share the first right after. And for the last month, you didn’t. You had to live without him and it was agony. 

“Closer”, Jungkook begs, “I wanna be closer.”

“Closer?” 

“Closer please.”

“Lie down on your side.” 

Jungkook obeys, keeping his arms around you. You seek him and slide your hand to his length. You brush your fingers over his tip, eliciting a trembling gasp from him. A small whimper follows. 

“This kind of closer?”

“Yes”, he squeaks and grabs whatever he can of your upper back. 

“I missed this feeling. You’re so soft.”

“I missed you too. Ah please.”

“Kook…”

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

His left hand naturally dances down your body, trying to locate your clit. You drape your leg around him, giving him access. He connects his fingers with your heat, sending electricity through you.

“Holy fuck, I’m sensitive”, you get out and moan. You take his cock and begin jerking it. He grows hard rapidly. Just as you soak his fingers at a rapid speed. You want him. He wants you. Too long you had to go without each other.

“Me too. Ah mhm”, he gets out and buries two of his fingers inside you. 

“Bunny….”

“Mommy…”

You cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his face and stub his nose with your own. Your hands work desperately between your bodies, the tension is growing embarrassingly fast. 

“Bunny, I missed you so much”, you keen and squeeze your eyes shut. It feels so good. His long fingers are filling you up while his thumb is rubbing circles on your clit. He is so sloppy and needy in his touch, which makes it all the better.

“Me too, Mommy”, Jungkook gets out and whimpers, “oh god.” 

Your hand is fast around his cock. You are calculated on normal days, but not tonight. There is no coordination in how you touch him, just pure and honest desperation. 

“I don’t wanna cum like this”, you croak.

“Close?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking stupid. Fuck”, you slide your hand to his hair so you could twist.

Jungkook moans, tilting his head back all on his own while his pouty lips brush against yours. You kiss without really kissing. Just featherlight touches, tickling moans and traces of your tongues. The tension between you and him becomes unbearable. You clench down on his fingers, feeling his cock throb in your hold.

“Bunny, I need your cock.”

“I need your pussy too, Mommy.”

“Good. Take out your fingers.”

Jungkook obeys, touching your hip instead. Neither of you care about the wet mess he leaves on your skin. It’s just another proof that you and he are finally reconnected again.

“Good boy”, you praise and shimmy down just a little so you can take his cock inside. There is no friction, no struggle, no pain. Just warmth and overwhelming pleasure.

“Holy fuck”, you whisper and push him in deeper. Past your entrance. Your warm walls engulf him.

Jungkook grabs you and accidentally scratches you. He couldn’t help it. He is with you again. No one feels like you. No one does.

“Ah!” the sound bounces off the walls. He trembles and pulls you closer, “Mommy.”

“Bunny.”

“Oh god, I’m home”, he whimpers and starts chasing you. 

Your leg is still around him, his thrusts go so deep like this. You are so filled up with him, so stuffed. You are eye to eye even if the complete darkness prevents you from seeing each other. But you don’t need light to see each other. Not you and not Jungkook. You have your hands and fingertips to see. You started it back in the stuffy sex club room you met in and perfected it over the years in your loving home. You know exactly how he looks right now and in return he knows as well.

“Bunny, oh god, my Jungkookie”, you get out and shake, pulling him closer by his hair. The darkness makes it feel all the more intense as you claim his lips in a passionate tongue kiss. The sounds of it mix with the desperate rutting your hips are doing. The rustling of the sheets is audible as well, as are the needy moans both of you choke out constantly. 

You are hot under the covers. Sweat has formed on the parts where you are pressed together. You pull each other closer regardless, basking in the heat because you had to live without it for far too long. This is the only way to melt with each other.

“I love you”, Jungkook gets out and kisses you again.

“-love- too”, is all you get out between your hungry kisses, but Jungkook knows regardless. Even without words he would know. From your kisses, your embrace and the way your pussy is convulsing around him. Jungkook knows every ridge, every bump, every inch of how you feel inside and being allowed to experience it right now is the only proof of love he needs. He is the man who you allowed to go in raw, even back when you pretended not to care. You claimed him and sealed his sweetest fate. You loved him enough that you wanted to be without barriers and you love him enough that you welcome him home right now.

“You feel so good”, you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.

Jungkook whimpers, spilling tears of ecstasy. He fucks into you, feeling his legs shake. He is so high on you.

This is fucking for the sake of reconnecting. This is emotional. Deeply, soul-consumingly emotional. Is it kinky? No. Will either of you last long? No. Will it stay in your minds as one of the most intense nights ever? Yes. Yes it fucking will. This is the kind of desperate, needy, passionate sex you can only have after you have been without each other for a long time. It is dumb. It is raw. It is carnal and it is the only good thing which comes out of having to be without the other. Because no amount of foreplay, kink or fetish will ever get you to the level of starvation than forced distance does.

And you are starving. Oh, you are parched and aching for each other. Jungkook fucks you as hard as he can, while you rut against him as roughly as you can. It results in these deep, fiery thrusts, which fills you with all his cock and in return makes him experience every inch of your pussy. 

You are burning up today. You are hot around him, as if you had a fever. Jungkook can barely breathe because of it, gasping for air between his desperate moaning. And you are soaking wet. Soft too. So soft. Jungkook scratches down your back and pulls you closer. His left hand cups your buttock and stills your hips this way. He pushes. The kiss breaks with your needy moan. You roll to your back just enough that Jungkook can prop himself up on his right elbow and use the angle to finally bottom out. Truly bottom out because the position finally gives him a chance to do so. Your leg is still around him, while the other is under his weight. You can feel his sculpted thigh shift and tense as he fucks you. His thrusts are sloppy and so perfectly uncoordinated that they seem coordinated. The mattress shakes because of it. 

You barely feel it because he is currently fucking the senses out of you. This is the kind of fuck which reminds you why he managed to steal your heart and the proof of why you could never want to leave him. It genuinely fucks every sense of control out of you and turns you into the neediest, wettest pillow princess in existence. Tonight it impacts you especially deeply, leaving you to arch your back and curl your toes.

“Bunny”, you moan embarrassingly high pitched, throwing your head back as best as possible while Jungkook shows off the strength of his hips, “Bunny, oh god. Ah Bunny.” 

“Mommy. So good, ah Mommy”, Jungkook moans and drops his head into the crook of your neck. He pulls you closer until your head rests on his right lower arm and you have his biceps brushing against your nose. The gentle headlock he has you in heals you from aches you didn’t even possess before. You are so safe like this. He smells hot. As if he is burning up.

“Bunny…”

You are burning up yourself, grasping his broad, muscular back as your only connection to sanity. He is making you cum and it’s happening soon.

“Don’t stop, please”, you beg.

“Mommy”, he moans and continues because he won’t ever ignore one of your begs. You don’t beg often, so when you do, Jungkook is overtaken with the need to fulfill your every wish. Which means a lot because he always wants to fulfill your every wish.

“You’re making me cum”, you choke out and sob softly as you hug him against you.

“Holy fuck”, Jungkook gets out and squeezes you strongly as your body falls into the high. You are so tight around him, burning up and throbbing. No wonder you are sobbing. Jungkook has to grit his teeth from how intense your orgasm feels to him and he isn’t even the one experiencing it. And there is one problem right now. He still needs it longer. He doesn’t know if he is holding back because he is greedy for more or if his body is just working this way right now, but he isn’t done even when you are already coming down. He needs more. He wants you longer.

You are soaking his cock, pulsating around him as you slowly recover and it’s fucking messing with him. He needs you. He needs you so bad.

Jungkook uses his strength and rolls you onto your back completely. His cock leaves you for a second, but you barely feel the disconnection as the darkness and your passed high leave you disoriented. Your legs are spread open, giving Jungkook a chance to take his cock and push it inside again.

Now you feel it. Now you’re whole again. You whimper, tensing up around him.

“Not done yet”, he rasps with his hand twisting the pillow next to your head. He bottoms out and chases you instantly. Fast and hard. He fucks the juices out of you, filling the air with the sounds of it just as he fills it with the sinful sounds of his naked body impacting with yours. The bed is sturdy and yet still croaks. His throaty grunts and guttural growls fill your ears as well. You know for a fact that he is frowning right now, gritting his teeth because he always does so when he fucks hard.

“Ju-Ju-Jungkook”, he fucks his name out of you. He is fucking his cock right against the spots which steal your sanity. You can’t stop getting wetter because of it. Every second with him feels fucking orgasmic, “Jungkook! Ah! Jungkook!”

You grip his arm. His muscles are so tense, bulging under your fingers as he drills you like an animal.

“Jun-Ju-Jungkoo-ook.” 

“Yeah, keep moaning my name Mommy”, he growls deeply and curses, “fuck, this is…fuck.”

“Jungkook, ah god Jungkook.”

“That’s it, Mommy. That’s it, keep moaning my name”, he encourages you and rewards you with harsher thrusts. Of course this wasn’t his final form yet. Not Jungkook. Not your husband. He will make you believe that the sex couldn’t get any better before showing you not to underestimate him. He fucks you deep into the mattress just as he fucks you deep into a blurred state of ecstasy.

You are utterly and entirely his right now. And you fucking like it, moaning his name as he rewrites your definition of pleasure one harsh thrust at a time. 

“I missed you”, he is using his deep voice to talk, “I thought of you, urgh, of you being mhm being cockstuffed with me, ah mhm I’m going crazy, Mommy. Fuck.” 

He could tell you everything right now and you would barely take it in. Your brain doesn’t work. You are so dumb right now. So utterly stupid. If you weren’t on your back, you would have drooled. Instead you sob his name and writhe desperately.

“Fuck”, Jungkook spits and growls. His hips stutter for only a second. This is how long he needs to find his composure again and then he is already drilling you again, pushing your body closer and closer to your orgasms, “have to go again?”

“Ye-yeah”, you keen, arching your back.

“Let go Mommy, I’m right here”, he tells you and cradles your cheek.

The touch is all that was missing. You break apart with a loud moan of his name and your fingers desperately twisting his hair. He fucked it out of you from the deepest parts of you, which makes it all the more intense. You can’t even moan as it happens. His name was all you managed to produce before your voice gave up on you. You can’t breathe either, lying there with your lips parted and your back arched as Jungkook drags heaven out of you.

Your second high gives him a hard time. The needy fucking he did brought him to the point where he has to let go even if he wanted to hold back longer. His cock aches, his balls feel tight and the tension in his stomach has reached a painful level. While your lungs aren’t working right now, his’ are working overtime, producing the neediest, quickest pants for air. He takes a deep breath and exhales it through his mouth, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

“I’m gonna cum inside”, he moans in a pitched voice. His hips stutter, but don’t lose speed, “gonna creampie your pussy so hard. Holy fuck, Mommy.”

You wrap your legs around him, closing your arms around him as well while your left hand buries itself deep in his hair and your right grabs his tense ass. You are barely present yet, but the need to feel him paint your walls gives you enough strength to pull him close.

“I love you”, he chokes out and lets go. He isn’t silent like you were. He is loud. Oh so loud that after a few seconds he needs to muffle himself by sucking on your neck.

“I love you too”, you whimper, “my loving counterpart.”

“Oh”, he sobs and pulls you closer, “my soulmate”, he squeaks and tenses up again, “no-not done. Ah!”

“Let it all out, fill me up Bunny. Please don’t hold back.”

Jungkook paints you white until it drips out of you and his body’s strength forsakes him. The comedown is intense. Because Jungkook never stopped fucking you even after your high stopped, you never got to calm down and because Jungkook fucked himself to the point of ruin he feels just as needing for your embrace.

“Are you okay?” he whimpers.

“Yeah. You?” you get out.

“Yeah.”

He shivers and twitches on top of you, blanketing you in under his body weight and the real covers. They slipped off his back in the rough fucking so that now, they are only covering your lower bodies. You don’t feel cold because you have him keeping you warm.

Neither you nor him can talk for the first few minutes, sharing forced silence as your brains try to relearn how to speak. His ears are ringing, you can feel your pulse in your head. You are both sweaty, the heat grows in your bodies now that you are so melted together. His cock softens slowly, still filling you up and keeping most of his seed inside. Good. You don’t want him to leave yet.

You finally have him back after more than a month and you would be a fool to break the connection sooner than necessary. You know that sooner or later you will have to stop this. Not only because of your important post-sex pee, but also because Jungkook can’t fall asleep like this.

At least this is what you believe. Jungkook is in the midst of drifting off to sleep. Jetlag, stress and exhaustion are finally catching up with him. Now that his mind is cleared of that initial dulling desire for you, it is finally truly sinking in that he is back home. And being back home means comfort and sleep. Still being inside and having you cockwarm him while your fingers are drawing hearts on his back forces even more sleepiness to the surface. He is home. Sleep can finally come.

“Bunny?” you whisper, scratching up his back gently. Goosebumps follow your touch. He shudders as you drag shivers out of him.

“Hm”, the sound barely wants to leave him. It tickles your neck.

“Are you falling asleep?”

He nods his head slowly.

“Don’t”, you chuckle softly, shaking him by his back gently, “the post sex pee.”

“I’m tired”, he breathes and sighs, “so tired. Work…hell.”

“I know, Bunnybaby I know. But spending your break from it having an UTI is gonna suck.”

“Not yet. Please.”

You give up fighting him, exhaling deeply through your nose. He sounds so needing of what you currently have. You need it as well. 

“Fine”, you say and fish for the blanket to pull it over your bodies, “a few more minutes.”

You hug him against you, cradling the back of his head. Jungkook sighs and relaxes on top of you.

“I fucking missed you, Kook.”

“I missed you too.”

[thanathicca]

Pathologic Fest Day 1: From the Other Side

Are AUs allowed on @pathologicfest ? Regardless, we are submitting an illustration of our 22nd century Thanatica AU, "imperare sibi maximum imperium est", anyway (ft. transfem Haruspex) :)

Image description is in alt text. News writing, as well as no text versions of the art, are under the cut.

The text:

(note, the fic itself may or may not have this version of the news - we will definitely edit it later)

Is this the end for Thanatica Labs?

THE CAPITAL, 1 OCTOBER 2165

Daniil Dankovsky, founder of Thanatica Laboratories and lead scientist of the first successful mind-uploading device AVA Project, has once again declined an offer of cooperation from a multinational company. The cooperation deal by Vector Tech, which would have netted Dankovsky a record XXX billion, would have Thanatica Labs give away their exclusive rights to the AVA blueprints and let the company build new AVA units with a tiered subscription program.

"We regret that the deal couldn’t be done," Mr. Telman, CEO of Vector Tech, has gone on record to say. "It’s a shame that Thanatica hoards all their progress under Dankovsky’s influence. Our company would have brought your AVA to the whole world! What kind of scientist are you?"

When requested for an interview, Dr. Dankovsky responded, “Thanatica has, and will always, stand with ethical practices. We are scientists who would not gate one’s life behind paywalls. The deal would have made a version of AVA with proprietary Vector Tech operating system, which has gone on record to sell people’s data to third parties, including intelligence agencies. Would you want data submitted the AVA, which would contain your most vulnerable memories, to be sold to the highest bidder? Would you want targeted advertisements in your brain? Moreover, the deal also mentioned using the subscription programs to access certain memories or even brain functions, which meant you could randomly forget the most important moments in your life, or even forget how to solve a crossword, just because you are a little short on money.”

Vector Tech has not responded to an interview request.

.

Plague “Panacea” safety put into question

While the so-called “panacea” for the plague has been lab-tested for human consumption with 100% efficacy, the contents has so far eluded researchers. A scientist of Thanatica Laboratories has been suspected to be its discoverer.

.

Thanatica founder indicted after siege

THE CAPITAL, 2166

A nation-wide warrant has been released for Thanatica Laboratories founder Daniil Dankovsky, 30, who is wanted by our Nation for unethical experimentation, medical negligence, and leaking classified documents from both governmental bodies and private companies.

Dankovsky has fled his laboratory in the Capital alongside his employees after the month-long siege of Thanatica, where he has been requested to reveal the contents of the so-called “panacea” of the plague. The creators of the “panacea” is also wanted for medical fraud and negligence, as well as rejecting government mandate to explain themselves in court, the Ministry of Health, and Ministry of Research and Development.

[van-goghs-smoking-skull]

Update: Due to Tumblr's decision to partner with MidJourney, I'll be moving to Cohost.

Music: https://cohost.org/downtempo-kestrel?page=0

Art: https://cohost.org/sibi-barknd?page=0

Writing: https://cohost.org/windblownsand?page=0

Everything else: https://cohost.org/van-goghs-smoking-skull?page=0

(My works/posts will be deleted from here as I move them over as separate posts on Cohost)

(Oooo, bonus, I can switch individuals posts on Cohost to 18+ without sending my entire blog to the void - no need to have an entirely different account for one whole fic.)

(If we were mutuals and I stopped following you, you didn't do anything wrong - it's part of the process of migrating. If you have a Cohost account, just DM me what it is and I'll follow you there, instead.)

(5/13/24, the export begins. It'll take quite a while, but once I have the full download - so I can sort things out offline - I'll only be around here for DMs. I'll be available otherwise on my Cohost blogs and I'll still be on Discord, so if you want faster responses, look for me there)

(Cohost went read only on 10/7/24 and will shut down entirely by the end of the year. If we worked out keeping in contact since, you'll know where I've moved on to. If not, I'm taking it as a sign you'd rather not keep in contact at all, so there's no point in posting my online moves here anymore. I'll miss you, but it is what it is, I suppose. I still hope life treats you well. Goodbye, old distant friends.)

[falchionier]

Latin Composition Part 6: Tips and Resources

Link to the masterpost with other parts

Some nuances worth knowing

Literary devices—here’s a nice list

Mute liquid Vowel combinations. A mute (b,c,d,g,p, or t) followed by a liquid (l or r) can count as a single consonant, as long as they are in the same word. This does not happen across words. So, amat rem viri must be scanned /u – – u–/. However, ille prope me can be /– u u u –/ or /– – u u –/.

I vs. J – Vergil famously scans Laviniaque in Aeneid 1.2 as Lavinjaque. Do what you need to make the meter work. I’d avoid doing it across too many letters though, and it’s frowned upon with 3rd declension i-stems. That is, avoid omnjum or proljum. (Though omnja is fine).

Iambic correption/brevis brevians— some words can become [u u] even when they’re ‘supposed to be’ [u —]. Be careful with this. It’s not very common except for mihi and tibi.

Some others include cedo, cito, duo, ego, homo, modo, puto, (ne)scio, uolo, ibi, ubi, mihi, tibi, sibi, nisi, quasi. Just don’t go too crazy.

A few stylistic notes

Apparently you don’t want lines in a row to have the exact same meter if you could avoid it, especially in hexameter

Leonine although end-rhymes were somewhat gauche, it was common to create leonine rhymes within hexameters across the caesura.

Try to avoid having too many words line up with the feet. Arma vi|rumque ca|no is far better than Vae tibi!| tu facis| aspera!

Use dactyls when you want to speed up the tone (either action or levity). Use lots of spondees if you want something to be grave or serious.

The first and last words of the line are the most important. Try to use word order to show extra-grammatical relationships. e.g.: saevae memorem iunonis ob iram.

Roman rhetoric preferred a level of "suspense" so that the last word or part of thought would be the kicker that brought everything all together.

Generally, less elision is better though you can play some fun games with it for ambiguity or tone. Aeneid 1.28 is my all time fave. Vergil even elides over his caesura to drive home how mad Juno is: et genus invīsum, et raptī Ganymēdis honōrēs.

Earlier poets (Catullus) elide more than later poets (Ovid). Don’t break your back over it though, and don’t ruin your artistic vision for it.

The last the syllables of an elegiac distich are usually a two-syllable word, but that’s mostly just for love poetry. Three-syllable words really ought to be avoided though.

You should generally avoid ending a line with a pronoun or a single syllable word, with noted exceptions, like forms of sum.

Tutorials

Writing Latin verse from Classical Journal (1957)

An introduction to Latin lyric verse composition by Lupton, J. H. 05

Progressive exercises in Latin elegiac verse  by Gepp, C. Granville This book has an intensely in-depth list of "do's" and "do-nots" for more advanced poetae

A series of lectures with notes—this one goes pretty in-depth, both Greek and Latin. I’d def read other stuff first, but it’s a decent course to really solidify knowledge.

Resources while writing

Logeion/Retro — Eng-Latin dictionary

Latinitium dictionaries— Both Lat-Eng and Eng-Latin, but less info on attestation and quotations. Use the two in tandem!

Wiktionary— good info on vowel lengths in oblique forms

Gradus ad Parnassum-- AMAZING resource: acts like a thesaurus and also gives syllable quantity. PLUS it has a list of words by meter!

Macronizer my beloved. Great for checking your meter

PHI Latin texts – searchable for attestations and all kinds of good stuff if you’re worried a phrasing isn’t Latinate enough

Musisque Deoque – searchable archive of Latin poetry from the beginning to the 1500s. Search by word, meter, and more! Great for finding examples or if you’re worried about if something sounds good or bad.

Tyrtarion – listen to lyric poetry as music (since it’s supposed to be a song). They do a better job than most.

Aeneid scanned--

Negenborn – multilingual Catullus guide, including scansion!

[siberianchan]

Comparision: MB Rouge et Noir vs. Majohn F9

Hello there, I'm currently basking in my 5 minutes of fame off having my snake fountain pen ask answered by Neil Gailman.

Since I am currently, as @thegrimshapeofyoursmile said, fame let me introduce myself.

I am Sibi, I am a writer of fantasy, historical fiction and everything queer under the sun - and I collect fountain pens.

Recently I finished editing a novel that was a lot of hard, rewarding and enlightening work. Neil's posts on creative writing and him encouraging people in his asks cheered me up a lot during the first round of editing.

And then there's the fact that I named the pen Crowley for obvious reasons.

It was my holy duty as an elder tumblrina to be all parasocial about it.

The pen I was - and still am - so chuffed about is a Montblanc Heritage Collection Rouge et Noir Serpent. (They also have a Spider one).

(Yes. It is that expensive. No, I am not rich. I earn a decent wage and have disposable income which I can - and did - save up. I am pissed that our economy is so nightmarish that this is genuinely a privilege.)

A few folks reblogged the ask claiming the pen was a Majohn F9.

Fair enough, Majohn specializes in copycat designs and the F9 is a copycat of the Rouge et Noir (they also did one for the spider themed one). They make nice pens.

I own a F9 myself. It was this pen, in fact that convinced me to save up and reward myself for a MAJOR milestone with it. That milestone being having finished that novel.

Considering all the mix-ups, I thought about comparing the two of them and make a list of how to tell them apart. The F9 is a rightfully popular pen and I really don't want people to try and find the pen they saw in the Neil Gailman ask, then die of shock at the price tag. Neither do I want people to order a F9 and then be disappointed that it doesn't look like the snake pen in the Neil Gailman ask, then not give it a chance just because of that.

Sooo here we go!

I got my F9 about two years ago and I love it. However, the paint quickly started to chip due to friction with other pens, so I kept it at home. (I since then updated my pen roll.) Since then, the paint has developed tiny bumps and bubbles and has a rough feel to it. Probably deterioration. At least the chipping should be no issue with proper storage, that was my bad.

The Rouge et Noir is my first modern MB all others are vintage flea market finds, so it remains to be seen whether the resin will act the same. I never heard anything about it, so I honestly doubt it would happen. (Cause let's be real, we would make a huge and justified stink about it)

Sizewise: no difference. Same length, same circumference. The MB cap screws nicely on the F9. Vice versa not so much, the grip section of the f9 is a bit thicker and the cap is actually a little larger than that of the MB. Serious kudos to Majohn for sneaking in subtle differences while keeping the overall proportions the same.

The clip is the biggest visual difference, with MB putting in a rather detailed snake, whereas the F9 sports a beautiful, stylized dragon with a wing on top. I know people who specifically prefer the F9 because they like dragons and the F9 is a beautiful, subtle dragon pen. Also good on you, Majohn for sidestepping the Montblanc Crest on the finial.

The snake design on the nibs is exactly the same with the only differences being the shape of the breather hole, the size mark on the Majohn and the individual brand markers (and the fact that the grain on the tip is flattened on the upside on the MB which . If your main argument for a pen is the snake on the nib and the snake on the nib alone - stop reading now and get the F9.

(I do think the MB nib is a hint bigger though and it looks like it was molded with the snake design while it is etched on on the F9 nib.)

Weight wise - even fully inked, with 30g the F9 is significantly lighter than the MB who clocks in at 35g after having been inked and in use for about 8 pages of writing. Some people don't like heavy pens, so that's a consideration to make.

Now the big question: how do they write? I inked them up with Diamine's Bloody Absinth, tried them and... Well, both are lovely. I bought the F9 with a fine nib in stainless steel, it is perfect for little notes in the margins or a detailed doodle of my bored coworker. The nib is quite stiff, s no line variation. The inkflow is quite juicy and it writes without issue or scratching. Good. Pen.

The MB comes with a 14k gold nib that has a beautiful stinginess to it (not that my pettiness gets much use out of it). Since I have developed a love for broader nibs when writing I got me an M and I do not regret it. Especially when you like sheeny inks a broader nib and the ability to get a little variation in the ink flow make your writing just POP. I am utterly in LUST with this.

So... which one would I recommend?

Honestly, they are both great. If you have the Rouge et Noir as a grail pen, you chosen well and I wish you good luck hunting one down. But... this pen will not be an everyday carry. It will spend its days in my showcase or on my desk when I write short stories. It will be treasured and cherished (and insured) for it's own artistic merit and the craftsmanship that went into it, but also for the achievement it stands for. (And yes, also because I call him Crowley.) This is an 800 dollar pen. I will NOT take that to the office. Or anywhere near my family.

If you want a fancy looking everyday carry pen with a cute snake on the nib - go for the F9.

(I bet similar conclusions can be made about the spider themed Rouge et Noir and F9)

But also... have me being a happy little gremlin about having gotten my grail pen.

(Also I will definitely not buy any pens this year. Let's focus on and enjoy what we have r.n.)

[best-underrated-anime]

[Test Poll] Format #2

This is to test what format would be best for the poll posts during the tournament. The media featured are Chinese BL novels (danmei), and propagandas are.. lorem ipsum text because I’m too lazy to write something from scratch. No trailers, but I’m putting images as placeholders for where the trailers should go. Just vote as if this were actually part of the tournament, then later I’ll gather some feedback. You may also leave feedback in the replies of this post.

Group B Round 1: #B1 vs #B2

#B1: Comatose scientist wakes up in post-apocalypse world

Summary:

Genius scientist Ruan Xian was in a coma for several years. Once he opened his eyes, his waist no longer felt pain, his legs had healed, and he could jump around. Unfortunately, the artificial intelligence outside had ran out of control and ushered in the end of mankind.

He is found by the android Tang Yibu and taken back to the human base. However, it seems Tang Yibu has misunderstood him to be one of the same kind… Ruan Xian is definitely human… or is he?

Learning the existence of another “Ruan Xian” who looks just like him but older, Ruan Xian is suddenly unsure.

#B2: Man who grew up in radiation shelter meets an outsider for the first time

Summary: An Xi has lived in the shelter his whole life. It was dangerous outside, they said. So when an outsider stops by the shelter, his curiosity is instantly piqued. He nicknames the man “Fei Tu*” because he comes from the wild world outside.

Fei Tu dreams of a life that’s not just surviving and hopes to journey to the paradise beyond the sea. He tells An Xi stories of the outside world, and An Xi realizes just how small of the world he has seen.

*Fei Tu means “Wasteland.”

Propagandas, visuals, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#B1: Comatose scientist wakes up in post-apocalypse world

Title: Happy Doomsday (末日快乐)

Genres: Action, Adventure, BL, Mature, Mystery, Psychological, Romance, Sci-Fi

Trigger Warnings: I… don’t remember

Propaganda:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed id ne cogitari quidem potest quale sit, ut non repugnet ipsum sibi. Nihil opus est exemplis hoc facere longius. Equidem, sed audistine modo de Carneade? Non pugnem cum homine, cur tantum habeat in natura boni;

Quod autem principium officii quaerunt, melius quam Pyrrho; Audio equidem philosophi vocem, Epicure, sed quid tibi dicendum sit oblitus es.

Mihi enim satis est, ipsis non satis. At ille pellit, qui permulcet sensum voluptate. Portenta haec esse dicit, neque ea ratione ullo modo posse vivi; Nam et complectitur verbis, quod vult, et dicit plane, quod intellegam;

#B2: Man who grew up in radiation shelter meets an outsider for the first time

Title: Wasteland and Sabbath / Fei Tu and An Xi (废土与安息)

Genres: Action, BL, Psychological, Romance, Sci-Fi, Smut

Trigger Warnings: …I also don’t remember

Propaganda:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed id ne cogitari quidem potest quale sit, ut non repugnet ipsum sibi. Nihil opus est exemplis hoc facere longius. Equidem, sed audistine modo de Carneade? Non pugnem cum homine, cur tantum habeat in natura boni;

Quod autem principium officii quaerunt, melius quam Pyrrho; Audio equidem philosophi vocem, Epicure, sed quid tibi dicendum sit oblitus es.

Mihi enim satis est, ipsis non satis. At ille pellit, qui permulcet sensum voluptate. Portenta haec esse dicit, neque ea ratione ullo modo posse vivi; Nam et complectitur verbis, quod vult, et dicit plane, quod intellegam;

Vote for the one you think is better!

[ardenrosegarden]

At the core of the Breton conflict, epitomized by the custody battle over Arthur, was a relatively straightforward political issue: the extent to which Brittany would be permitted to exercise local autonomy within the Angevin Empire. William of Newburgh adds an element of romance to his retelling of events in 1196, much as he had done in his account of Arthur’s christening. William’s 1196 portrayal suggests that the Bretons viewed the contest as a struggle for Arthur’s soul. The fulfillment of the Breton Hope was at stake. William writes that the Bretons ‘puerulum sibi Arturum sub magno hujus nominis omine nutriebant’ (were raising the little boy Arthur for themselves under the great omen of his name) and that the magnates of Brittany would not hand him over more on account of a certain suspicion than on account of due caution. Again William scorns Arthur and the Britons.

John’s was not a smooth succession to the throne following Richard’s early death (6 April 1199), and his supporters undertook to discredit Arthur with even greater vigor. They attacked the duke of Brittany’s character and judgment and questioned his ‘Englishness’...

...In England the response was varied. On behalf of John stood the celebrated knight and earl of Pembroke William Marshal (c.1147–1219). In the Histoire de Guillaume le Maréchal (c. 1219–26), there is an exchange between the archbishop and the Marshal over who should be chosen to replace Richard I. The archbishop declared that Arthur had the stronger claim, but the Marshal vehemently opposed elevating Arthur to the throne on that grounds that:

Artur est en felon conseil Si est eschis e orgeillos, E si nos l’atraiom sor nos, Mal e ennui nus voldra querre, Qu’il n’eimme pas cels de la terre.

(Arthur has treacherous advisors about him and he is unapproachable and overbearing. If we call him to be over us, he will seek to do us harm and damage, for he does not like those in our realm.)

The Marshal, who himself held a fiefdom in Longueville, Normandy, characterized Arthur of Brittany as a foreigner unsympathetic to English interests. This instance of reported speech was written roughly twenty years after the event described, but it may nonetheless reflect ideas circulating in 1199.

Christopher Michael Berard, Arthurianism in Early Plantagenet England: from Henry II to Edward I

[purple-possibilities]

I think I’ve talked abt this before but the first ff I read was Harry Potter fanfiction on this site called elibs. It was used to make ad-libs, but people wrote whatever there (it ranged from fic to original writing to really kinky smut. Like some of the things my friends and I stumbled upon should not have been seen by preteens). My first fic was published there (I think I was 11 at the time, so it was pretty bad lol). Then, people would xpost their stuff on this website called xanga, which basically was like a blog website, where you’d make your own page. I had two pages up on there (one story was in Harry’s era, the other in the marauder’s). Around the same time, people were switching from elibs to quizilla, which was a site for quizzes that quickly became dominated by stories. They had to add a story section of the site bc the writing was so prolific. Again it was a mix of fic, original writing, and like crazy kinky smut. There were no rules, so people posted whatever. Then when I was like 13 a friend introduced me to ffn, and thru that I went to ao3, and then tumblr. I was posting on all those sites. I’ve thought abt posting my old works on ao3 on a dif account just bc like, while the writing is very cheesy, I am proud of my 11 year old self for doing it lol. Baby sibi was also writing original stories from even before I was able to write properly lol. If only I could get some of the mojo back…

[whiskeysorrows]

you ever just expect to die at a certain time and now that time is approaching and somehow the sound of laughter and the sun rise over the bridge is making you think twice but also you know that it'll always get bad again and this light is doomed to blow out. yeah current mental state rn

[borathae]

sibi sibiii how do you think our ogc, aaol, and ihyily couple celebrate their 10th year anniversarry?🥺🥺

Goshshsh I love this question 🥺 I feel like all of them would do something totally romantic 🥺 also, why can I see them going on a trip for it?? like literally all of them?

OGC Couple

would definitely go somewhere snowy

they LOVE colder destinations

actually, scratch that

they would go on a trip to New Zealand

rent out bikes and travel the islands

they'd sleep in hotels, guesthouses, tents and campervans

they'd take way too many pictures

and stay at places for as long as they want to

they would definitely want to make memories

and see as much as possible of the country

also obviously, there will be steamy tent sex :)

highkey? they'd do an intimate two-on-two vows renewal under the starry sky on the day of their anniversary

and Koo will cry like a cutie because he loves her so much

AAOL Couple

I see them wanting to city sightsee

Europe

they'd go on a trip around the continent

and look at as many cities as possible

they would definitely only stay in luxurious hotels because Koo insisted

he likes treating her as his queen and she just accepts it

oh my god so much hotel room sex

they'll have a romantic dinner on their anniversary day and afterwards they'll stroll through the city holding hands

so many photos will come out of this day

and they'll have the sweetest, most emotional sex at night

with whispered vow renewals during aftercare cuddles <3

IHYILY Couple

somewhere tropical and warm

you know, to get those honeymoon vibes again

they will have asked Yoongi for babysitting duties of their daughter

to which he agreed under the condition that they will babysit his daughters too once he's going on a trip with his wifey

bahhah it's only fair

they will definitely use this holiday to get some well deserved and way too rare two-on-two time

swims in the ocean, strolls along the beach, exploring new restaurants each night

I can also see Tae befriending random locals wherever he goes

he'll take lots of pictures

and she will collect ever little memorabilia for her scrapbook

because she plans on making a scrapbook about this trip

Tae will end up collecting and picking up stuff as well just so she can have it <3

lots of sex because they have so much catching up to do

I see them doing a vow renewal on the beach with some champagne

they definitely write them out so she can put them in her scrapbook <3

This was so sweet gosh 🥺💜

[moonstruckbyy]

Why do you want to be with me ? She asked.

There's this one feeling I've always chased. The one that makes everything else disappear. Some call it meditation. Some call it flow. Some call is zen. I know that's the only feeling, that feels most right to me. Writing gives that feeling all the time. Lifting does and even boxing does. And when I'm with her, it's the same.

- Liquor, ladies and loathing, Sibi G.

[ezralva]

in canon it breaks my heart to know he’s gone still especially because i would do anything for my younger siblings like he would. i kind of raised them and they are my life so i got hurt so bad when it happened and seeing this video. and then the shipper in me got hurt too AND yes i can separate the source from my ship!! i don’t want judgement but it hurt both ways!! ://

you said you wrote about bringing oniichan back? i hope to read

Yeah. Anon me too 💔 I think it's just weird if atp we're still delusional that he didn't die or gonna come back. No he's not gonna come back and that's the end of his story in the original. He died protecting his loved one and that's what he always wanted so it's a beautiful parting in its own way. I just...love Choso and Yuuji so much and it is very clear that Yuuji makes him so happy. We've seen how he always smiled gently only when he was around him.

Oh that's nice to hear. You must be a kind older sibIing then ☺ I really respect older siblings who take care of their younger siblings! Mine are like that too. Even till now, after we all have our own little families, they still prioritize my comfort before their own which is very touching. I think older siblings have big hearts and will always love their younger siblings even after they become full-blown adults.

Ahaha so im the type who lives by and gets very influenced by canon. And I will always prefer canon settings than unrelated AUs for my fics. I just recently, ever since ch 269, have constant HC about how to bring Choso back still within the canon setting and I know the only way not to get hung up about it is to write them down. I usually share my writing with my friends first and if we like them enough, I will publish them. But I haven't actually written anything so it might take a while or long time. Also, whatever I'm gonna write, that'll be choita fics...and Yes, I'm a choita shipper, if it's not clear enough. So if you're not into that ship, then it might not be what you're looking for lmao.

[allegra-j-joann]

Hi 😄 would you consider to do a post about your daily life in Japan ? Thank you

Thanks for the ask friend! My daily life is pretty relaxed, I actually don't start work until 11:30am, Sibi usually get to sleep until 9:30 or 10 if I have no plans.

I get to the school and log into the computer system and check my class schedule for the day. I teach elementary and Junior Highschool students mostly, so the preparations for my classes is pretty fun. The language we teach is really easy (for me, not them lol) so I just spent the practice times playing the games and activities we use.

One of my favourite lessons to prepare are the interactive lessons because we use a bunch of edutainment ROMs to teach reading and listening and they're a big hit of nostalgia for me.

I usually have my lunch time pretty late, around 2:30 because our first classes won't be until our students get out of school at 3:30.

Classes will go until 8:30 at night and then it's just a quick clean up and log out process, it never takes me more than ten minutes for me.

Occasionally, like this week, that routine gets changed up, we call them "working days" and it just means that we don't have our usual classes, we usually do these working days right before the big national exams like EIKEN or TOEIC so that our students can book special one-on-one lessons to focus on specific exercises. The stress for working days is pretty front loaded, since we have to plan a few dozen custom lessons, usually for students we don't normally teach, and we only have a few days to do it, then once we get into the lessons themselves it's pretty straight forward. To give you an idea of the content, 9 of my 12 lessons in the last two days have been focused on elementary level listening practice, which mostly involves sitting quietly while the student listens to a CD and then helping them repeat the important parts of a sentence so they can answer the question, two of them have been teaching high schoolers how to write emails, and the last one was just an hour of info dumping about my home country because the student is about to go on an exchange there.

Of course, all of this massive essay I've just typed doesn't account for student attitudes, being that most of them are just about to hit their early teen years, they can come to class pretty mad and completely derail any planned activities, or they could be super hyper and it takes extra time to move them on from one practice to the next because they just will not stop, but it's really rewarding to do all the dry set up work and see these kids come absolutely bolting towards the school because they are excited for class, or to stand them in the lobby in front of their parents, and watch them be impressed at their kid being able to do the full six sentence exchange with me at the end of a lesson.

I hope this is a good answer for you friend! Thanks again for the ask! I'm always happy to talk about school ahaha

[euphoricfilter]

Ella has this playmate ot7 fic that finished recently , and a new camgirl kook fic and ahe s so cool, from harrow i rlly love collateral and some oneshots but she writes cool stuff, sibi has the rlly cool sanguis alpha and magnus venatio series and also her filthy halloween stuff and other fics i have to go through (sibi writes amazing subby men 😍) and bonny has do many cool hybrid fics argh

eee i gotta make sure i’m following all these people 👹

[purple-possibilities]

Like Father, Like Son

Rating: Teen

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of prostitution, like slightly dark? Gritty maybe is a better descriptor, Naruto world taken seriously.

Length: 1888 words

Pairing: MinaKushi, Minato’s Canonical Dad x Minato’s Canonical Mom

Genre: romance, drama, slight angst (we know how these two ended up), crack taken seriously

Summary: the story of Minato’s parents, and how that influenced Minato’s decisions, and his courtship of Kushina. Inspired by this post about Minato being extra.

Like many children in ninja villages—and truly, just children in general, since the Warring States Era and the formation of the Ninja Villages—Namikaze Minato is an orphan. His father was a self-taught ninja from a small village on the boarder of Kaze no Kuni, while his mother was a kunoichi from Tsuchi.

Though Minato's parents had died when he was young, he was old enough to remember them. He was old enough to understand why his parents were forced to hide away from their home countries, old enough to know when and why he had to hide and lie.

He was old enough to understand why tousan had to escape in the night while he and kaachan had to flee in the cover of tousan's sacrifice distraction.

He was old enough to understand why he and kaachan had to lie about their ninja training when they immigrated into Konoha with forged papers so realistic that not even Konoha's infamous T&I, or their renowned Yamanaka clan could tell the difference.

He was old enough to understand why kaachan was forced to work in the way she did, why strange people would spend an hour or two, or sometimes even the whole night behind the door to his mother's room, why she made him leave when some specific visitors stopped by, why he eventually came home to find her laying in bed, blooms of red and shocks of shiny white against her cold, still skin.

He was old enough to remember it all—to want to change it all, one day—but his mind would always take him back to one specific memory.

His most precious memory of all.

The love in his parents' eyes.

Minato could recite the story word for word, with how much his kaachan told it—how much more she would cling to the words after tousan was gone.

Kaachan was from Iwagakure, having sworn her life to the Tsuchikage and the Tsuchi no Kuni daimyou as a kunoichi of the Rock. Touchan truly had no allegiance—his skills had come from a talent with chakra and a necessity for self-defense.

So when touchan had seen a group of Suna-nin abducting a woman, he did what any good man would do.

He saved her.

Touchan had followed after the Suna-nin in secret, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Touchan was not sure he could defeat the two Suna-nin on his own, but he knew that with the help of the right environment and a few tricks, he could come out victorious.

With his wind chakra aiding him in both speed and his strikes, touchan caught the first nin completely off guard. As the second nin—the one holding kaachan—noticed his partner listing to the right—before the dead body could hit the ground—touchan had just as swiftly eliminated the other, catching kaachan in his arms.

Unwilling to linger at the scene, touchan carried kaachan away, until it was safe for them to stop. When touchan untied kaachan's binds, she couldn't help herself.

Kaachan pulled touchan into a kiss.

It was in that moment that kaachan fell in love with touchan. Both were alone in this cruel ninja world. The shinobi nations were in the midst of the second Great Ninja War. People were dying left and right, hundreds every day.

Who would miss one kunoichi? Who would recognise one self-taught man from the edges of Kaze no Kuni?

Who would give up on the chance of happiness, love, and family, when the world had taken so much from them?

He remembers asking his parents how they knew they were in love after just one meeting.

His mother always answered, “A selfless act of kindness in a cruel world is a rare thing to be treasured. When you find that, especially when you're alone and hopeless, it's easier to leave behind the entirety of your harsh, unfriendly life for even just a single moment with such a person."

When Minato asked his touchan, his father always answered, "There is not much kindness in this world, not much any single person alone can do to fix that. We work hard, we may try to help others, but that's not going to get any one man very far. Kaachan has a fire in her, a toughness, a resilliance which cannot be crushed. She is fierce in her mind, body, and soul. As a man forced to grow and survive on his own, I know just how valuable, and how rare those traits are. I had desperately craved for companionship, for a family, and your mother has the strength and resilliance to ensure our story will be longer than most."

At the time, Minato didn't truly understand what either of his parents meant. But as an orphan, as a boy all alone, who had witnessed the worst of the world and wanted to make it better, who had his world stripped from him in a place that should have been safe, with the weight of his parents sacrifices on his mind and the desperate urge for a family once more...

Minato fell in love.

All he knew about love was what he'd seen from his parents. With no advice, no one to turn to, Minato did the only thing he could:

He emulated the fond, much told memory of how his parents fell in love with the percotions, strong-willed, resilliant Uzumaki Kushina.

And like a blessing from beyond, like a gift from his absent parents, Uzumaki Kushina—who had only ever glared and grumbled at Minato before then—had fallen in love with him.

It hadn't been hard to use the shadow-clone jutsu and then henge them into Kumo-nin. It wasn't hard to find Kushina all alone, after tricking the ANBU who followed her with a genjutsu laid out by Uchiha Fugaku's sharingan.

It wasn't hard for Minato to gently disable (but not disperse!) his own clones, to catch Kushina in his arms, to take her to "safety" (as if she were in any danger at all).

It wasn't hard to attract her heart and capture it—not with his boyish good looks, his patience, and most damning of all—

Kushina's lonliness and desire for connection.

With her home village destroyed and Mito-sama recently deceased, there wasn't a better time for him to put his ploy in motion. Maybe to a civilian that might seem callous, but to a ninja, that was just smart planning.

What did it matter if he was using her grief and loneliness to his advantage? His company would heal that for her anyways.

(Besides, it was his grief and lonliness which drove him to do it).

Minato would grow up to be a lot of things: a hero and a curse, a soldier and a leader, a husband and—just briefly—a father.

Minato would not go on to share the story of how he got Kushina to love him with his son. Minato would instead go on to emulate his father, sacrificing himself in the hopes of giving his child a shot at a better life.

But that was for later. In this moment, in the shoddy comfort of the bachelor apartment allotted to orphaned ninja-in-training, Minato put the pieces of his plan together.

Minato was old enough to retain memories of his life before Konoha, before his parents were taken from him, but only one memory stood out.

And so he remembered.

And so he took the past and made it his present with dreams of the future on his mind.

Fun Facts!

I imagine Minato's mom to be blonde like he, Naruto, and Deidara are, while his dad has red hair similar to Kushina and Gaara. His mother's hair was smooth and straight while his father's was spikes like Minato and Naruto.

The ninja who killed Minato's father were sent after his mother for desertion. Another Iwa-nin had caught sight of her and reported back to the Tsuchikage. The nin were sent to kill Minato's parents but were instructed to bring Minato back alive in case he was useful. I kind of puts Minato's massacre of those thousand Iwa-nin during the Third War into a new light...

Fugaku only agreed to help Minato because when he initially refused, Minato accused Fugaku of not being able to do it. Fugaku, like a certain other Uchiha we know, was desperate to prove himself. Minato didn't tell Fugaku about his plan, he just dared Fugaku to trick the ANBU.

Minato had to practice with his clones for weeks to be able to fight them without them "popping." He ended up having to use a seal on them to make them more resilliant. It was his first time working with fuinjutsu, and what sparked his love for it. Kushina's interest only heightened his own.

Yes, Minato's dad only went along with kaachan's feelings because he was lonely and she was strong. Relationships have been built on less. He was a very pragmatic man. He did genuinely fall in love with her though.

When Minato and his mom immigrated to Konoha, she had to pretend to be a civilian with no ninja training to avoid suspicion, and be offered asylum as a Hi no Kuni refugee. As a foreigner (even one posing as a Fire Country citizen) and with the growing number of refugees, it was hard for her to find a job, so she became a prostitute. She was killed by a nin who was triggered and experienced a panic attack/flashback. He fled the scene after, and ended up letting himself get killed during his next mission. The case of her murder remains unsolved—not that the police did much investigating. There were more pressing issues to deal with at the time.

The harsh life Minato lived—as a fugitive and then a refugee and orphan—is what led him to want to be Hokage. He wanted to save people from the pain he and his parents suffered.

Kushina's spirit (and declaration to be Hokage) is what attracted Minato to her. His father's words of finding someone strong and stubborn enough to survive in this cruel ninja world is what made him decide she was the one for him.

Kushina is dumb. So dumb. Didn't catch on even once. Fell for the plot hook, line, and sinker. Even when, years later, Minato shared the story of how his parents met with her, Kushina did not piece his plan together.

Due to Minato using "Kumo"-nin to carry out the abduction, he made their already poor reputation in Konoha worse. This was further exasterbated when real Kumo-nin actually tried to kidnap Hinata.

Minato sacrafied himself that night when Kurama was unleashed on the village, because all he could think of in that moment was the way his father sacrificed himself to save Minato and his mom. It clouded his judgement from more logical options, like, I don't know, not casting a suicide jutsu to trap half a tailed beast in his minutes old son and his soon to be dead body.

Kushina was delirious from pain meds, having an tailed beast extracted from her, and her own hotheadedness. It was a bad mix.

In the end, Naruto learnt that rescuing a girl is the way to her heart, following the Namikaze family tradition of courtship.

AN: So, uh... This got darker than I thought. The post that inspired this was so cute too. I wrote this a few weeks ago on a night I was too busy for this bs and yet it would not let me rest until it was released. I wrote this after being challenged prompted by @books-n-guns, as crack is my apparent specialty (we been knew, I know. After the LeeKaguya fic I think I solidified my place in this fandom). I hope you enjoyed it!