#sibi talks about sibi
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tfw you unintentionally spoil yourself bc you can’t wait to read the fanfiction
#guess who started one piece#and fell in love with ace#i am so dumb but it’s fine#that man came on screen for .5 seconds and I was like#you. you’re the one#man do I know how to choose em#I’ll have you know he wasn’t even shirtless at the time#it was the freckles that did me in#(the being shirtless didn’t hurt tho 😳)#ughhhhh whyyyyyyy#why do I keep doing this to myself?#oh well. time to see how the alabasta arc goes#I am so dumb: a saga#ugh fml#sibi talks about sibi
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I think I’ve talked abt this before but the first ff I read was Harry Potter fanfiction on this site called elibs. It was used to make ad-libs, but people wrote whatever there (it ranged from fic to original writing to really kinky smut. Like some of the things my friends and I stumbled upon should not have been seen by preteens). My first fic was published there (I think I was 11 at the time, so it was pretty bad lol). Then, people would xpost their stuff on this website called xanga, which basically was like a blog website, where you’d make your own page. I had two pages up on there (one story was in Harry’s era, the other in the marauder’s). Around the same time, people were switching from elibs to quizilla, which was a site for quizzes that quickly became dominated by stories. They had to add a story section of the site bc the writing was so prolific. Again it was a mix of fic, original writing, and like crazy kinky smut. There were no rules, so people posted whatever. Then when I was like 13 a friend introduced me to ffn, and thru that I went to ao3, and then tumblr. I was posting on all those sites. I’ve thought abt posting my old works on ao3 on a dif account just bc like, while the writing is very cheesy, I am proud of my 11 year old self for doing it lol. Baby sibi was also writing original stories from even before I was able to write properly lol. If only I could get some of the mojo back…
#sibi talks about sibi#fanfiction things#the saga of ff websites#i think the fact that my introduction of ff was in such a chaotic space made me more accepting of dark fic and like weird shit#like what does it matter you know? I turned out fine 🤷♀️
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When I said I wanted to relate to a Hozier song, I didn't mean Cherry Wine and It Will Come Back 😭
#like wtf dude#I want the love songs the protest songs#like idk Talk or Be or NFWMB even#not the fucking traumatised ones#like the way he tries to excuse the abuse with good things about her in Cherry Wine just sends me back into times of when I do that#it's ugly and she beats the shit out of me but I swear she really loves me yk?#or It Will Come Back is literally me begging people to not let me close if they're just going to leave again#...anyways#rambles#hozier#it will come back#cherry wine#mortem sibi consciscere
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I refer to myself as a disaster a lot.
Recently I got a lot of positive feedback from people I don't even know that well (work colleagues, mainly) for how creative and smart and driven I am and how positively I impact them and...
Well, I am neither structured nor organized (I can act like I am, so...)
But since I'm not always destructive and actively try to not be destructive...
Maybe I should not call myself a disaster and more like... chaos on legs?
#yaaaaaay#therapy#sibi unpacks their stuff#but yeah seriously#I do talk negatively about myself#a lot#and I need to stop that#recently my mental health has been regressing a bit
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Second sketch batch of the Lady Bugs, this time with Lady Beetle and Lady Bug!
It took me... so long to figure out Beetle's hair... so long...
Visual note time, baby!
I made around twenty sketches for Binna's hair- I wanted something that was pulled up to look "short" because Marisol and Elle already have much longer hair, but I didn't want tit to be full-on "two uber shorthaired girls and two really longhaired ones".
Her surname was taken from Albert Koebele.
Binna's hair color ALSO took forever, but I'm happy I went with the brown.
I mentioned when talking about Siby that she was based off of Sailor Mercury, but a lot of the visual choices I made were inspired by Sailor Moon for this team- like how Marisol is the most visually distinct among the girls, and everyone else has more "realistic" hair/less shocking silhouettes.
I love drawing Marisol's hair. I don't remember the inspiration anymore but the cartoony swirls bring me joy.
I intend for every girl in this team to have a splash of red in their civvy forms, but I feel like I made Binna's red the weakest. If she keeps this dress I'm color swapping the polka dots and the bg white.
Marisol's outfit was not intended to be so heavy with the red, but honestly I like it this way.
Unlike the rest of the girls who are named after entomologists, Marisol's name is based purely off of the connection between the name Mary has with ladybugs and the fact ladybugs are beetles.
#character design#character concept#magical girl#magical girl design#Magical School Girls#MSG#ladybuf#ladybug aesthetic#pink#pink aesthetic#yellow#yellow aesthetic#lady bug#lady beetle
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sibi i can't. it hurts so much. and the fact that he's thinking about how it "damaged the memories he made with the members and fans"??? i would burn the whole world for him. he's so loved. i wish we could all tell him in person about how loved he is.
IT’S LITERALLY FUCKED UP I’m so upset tht I’m shaking I FUCKING HATE THIS SITUATION AND I HATE HOW HE IS MADE THE VILLAIN FOR SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EVEN DESERVE ONE SECOND OF HATE
I’m also so anxious. Like if he ends up having to leave the band, I will actually break (lets not even talk about it though so we don’t manifest it. YOONGI IS GONNA BE OKAY. BANGTAN IS GONNA BE OKAY. THE TRUE FANS ARE GONNA BE OKAY lets manifest this instead!!!)
Lets keep repeating this mantra and lets keep spamming weverse with love for him and lets keep streaming his music and lets keep reporting the people who want him and Bangtan harm. We can do this my lovelies and WE ARE GONNA BE OKAY TOGETHER WITH OUR 7 BANGTAN 💜💜💜
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SYBILL AND PETER
Sybill and Peter met in the library. Even though sybi isn't really a big fan of books, she really likes riddles. Which is something that studies exist. So after work she goes to the bookstore, not paying much attention to her surroundings. Just focused on studying and delving deeper into your beloved divinations.
Everything changes when she starts paying attention to a certain boy. He always went to the next session, taking my books, sitting in the same corner. This intrigued sybi. She wasn't much for paying attention to her surroundings, much less people. But something about him caught her attention, and that only made her more excited to study divinations.
Their first interaction was on a Tuesday, Sybi had a bunch of books and bad eyesight. She literally stopped in an available corner, just to sit down and organize her stuff. It was then that she looked ahead and realized that the boy with blond hair was right in front of her with those fat eyes wide open. She almost had a heart attack right there.
She apologized exaggeratedly, while the boy didn't even blink. He held some kind of comic in his hands, Siby was too nervous to notice properly. It was then when he was about to get up that he spoke. She said there was no problem with her staying, that everything was fine, she said with a smile on her face. So she was, totally embarrassed but she stayed. Of course she wanted to know his name, and as she was never a shy person she simply asked after a long silence. He looked at her a little measuredly, but responded.
"Peter. Call me peter."
Oh, Peter. Sounds like a hypnotic melody.
He didn't ask her name back, but she didn't mind anyway.
Then she started to sit next to him. They didn't talk, sometimes they looked at each other but that was it. Until one day, Peter spoke up. "Sorry, I didn't ask your name. And why do you read this?" His way of speaking was so comical that Sybi couldn't help it and laughed. Peter didn't understand, but he started laughing too. But later he will learn that the name of the girl in front of him is Sybill, she studies divination and signs. Hence the strange books.
The silence over the next few days began to be filled with conversations, laughter and jokes. To the point that books and comics are forgotten. Peter liked to cook, his favorite hero was Spider-Man, he also had a pet mouse. Sybill liked thrift stores, hot tea and cookies, children and had twelve pet cats. They learned so much about each other in weeks inside a bookstore. They didn't care about the place, they cared about each other's company.
Their first date was at a magic item store. Sybi said she would take Pete there, as if it were a necessity. They walked around the store, Sybi telling scary stories to make Pete scared, and Pete scared to death and making jokes at the same time. They ate so many things, talked about their tastes, showed photos of their pets. They discovered that they both prefer to stay at home watching movies while eating popcorn.
It didn't stop there, they went out a lot more. Going to each other's houses, or going to your favorite places. They loved giving each other gifts, going to waterfalls even though they didn't know how to swim, having pillow fights or just enjoying each other's company.
They started dating after six months, but before that they already considered themselves together. They wear matching rings, sun and moo.
The end.
| I apologize if it was bad or confusing, English is not my first language and most of the things I wrote using the translator. Anyway, I hope you like it.:3|
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Tell us the trivia pleasee 🥺🥹
where do i start. ok well, assuming you're a fellow newsies fan, you probably already know how christian bale didn't know newsies would turn out to be a musical and he wasn't thrilled about it but eventually just said fuck it. and he learned that cool ass lasso whip which wasn't even used in the final version at all
uhh moving on. when winona ryder was casted as jo for the 1994 version of little women, she hand-picked christian bale to play laurie! and also somewhere during that time chris first met his wife sibi blazic. winona introduced them to one another because sibi was her assistant
and speaking of bale meeting his wife. before that he never imagined himself being married (everyone in his family was divorced and so he didn't really have any healthy examples of a marriage) but when he met sibi it's like. it all made sense and he wanted to marry her after all (which is cute as all hells)
and let's talk about sibi some more. she's a stunt driver! she was driving one of the cop cars in one of the batman movies (obviously dark knight trilogy) and bale was extremely impressed by that
and in general christian really loves sibi and it's so cute. whenever he talks about her during galas or interviews or when he's receiving prizes he almost tears up and calls her all those sweet things. and it's just. <3
when chris was picked to play patrick bateman in american psycho at one point he was replaced by leo dicaprio, but he stole the role back again. and like he was very very dedicated to playing bateman (e.g. he learned to sweat on command). and regarding pat bateman, bale disclosed that he likes nothing about the character and he thinks the "sigma" movement is lame
he also has a bunch of stray animals adopted. 2 dogs and 3 cats if i'm not mistaken
batman trilogy spotlight. he's the first non-american person to have played batman, the youngest person to have played batman, and the third person that played batman who has won an oscar!!!
and also bale's debut was actually a commercial of pac man cereal. he was 8
and i think i'll stop here because i could keep going on and on but. yeah.
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Hi 😄 would you consider to do a post about your daily life in Japan ? Thank you
Thanks for the ask friend! My daily life is pretty relaxed, I actually don't start work until 11:30am, Sibi usually get to sleep until 9:30 or 10 if I have no plans.
I get to the school and log into the computer system and check my class schedule for the day. I teach elementary and Junior Highschool students mostly, so the preparations for my classes is pretty fun. The language we teach is really easy (for me, not them lol) so I just spent the practice times playing the games and activities we use.
One of my favourite lessons to prepare are the interactive lessons because we use a bunch of edutainment ROMs to teach reading and listening and they're a big hit of nostalgia for me.
I usually have my lunch time pretty late, around 2:30 because our first classes won't be until our students get out of school at 3:30.
Classes will go until 8:30 at night and then it's just a quick clean up and log out process, it never takes me more than ten minutes for me.
Occasionally, like this week, that routine gets changed up, we call them "working days" and it just means that we don't have our usual classes, we usually do these working days right before the big national exams like EIKEN or TOEIC so that our students can book special one-on-one lessons to focus on specific exercises. The stress for working days is pretty front loaded, since we have to plan a few dozen custom lessons, usually for students we don't normally teach, and we only have a few days to do it, then once we get into the lessons themselves it's pretty straight forward. To give you an idea of the content, 9 of my 12 lessons in the last two days have been focused on elementary level listening practice, which mostly involves sitting quietly while the student listens to a CD and then helping them repeat the important parts of a sentence so they can answer the question, two of them have been teaching high schoolers how to write emails, and the last one was just an hour of info dumping about my home country because the student is about to go on an exchange there.
Of course, all of this massive essay I've just typed doesn't account for student attitudes, being that most of them are just about to hit their early teen years, they can come to class pretty mad and completely derail any planned activities, or they could be super hyper and it takes extra time to move them on from one practice to the next because they just will not stop, but it's really rewarding to do all the dry set up work and see these kids come absolutely bolting towards the school because they are excited for class, or to stand them in the lobby in front of their parents, and watch them be impressed at their kid being able to do the full six sentence exchange with me at the end of a lesson.
I hope this is a good answer for you friend! Thanks again for the ask! I'm always happy to talk about school ahaha
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Nooo sibi jungkook's hands his hands they make me feel stuff
You guys want my death today LIKE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT JUNGKOOK'S HANDS ENOUGH BESTIES. We fucking don't. It's always "yoongi's hands this and this, tae's hands that and that" when we're talking about hand kinks BUT JUNGKOOK'S HANDS LISTEN HIS HANDS AREN'T TO BE FORGOTTEN BECAUSE NGNNGFNF
his hands literally scream masculine but gentle 😩
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I saw a spoiler earlier (just a glimpse) where a beloved character who was killed turned out to actually be alive. That got me in gear to catch up with the manga (I was like 15 issues behind) only to find out that said character is not, in fact, alive.
I don’t know whether to be happy I wasn’t actually spoiled or sad that said character remains dead (sad, 100% sad, no question)
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Sibi, do you think that ogc!OC and SA!OC could be besties?
They are both so cool and badass.
I have a secret crush on them ☺
OKAY I STAN OMGMGM I LOVE THIS!! 😏🥰💜
Also to answer your question OMFG YES I think they would be besties if they ever met fjadsfadsf I feel like ogc!OC would want SA!OC to tell her all about sex magic and SA!OC would loooveee to hear about what it's like to lead a restaurant. They would also definitely talk about gardening AND FJDASJF about threesomes FAJDFJ like they'd be all like "you too?? they're so fun aren't they?" fadfdfa
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Sad week for my kids' school this week. There were a series of follow-up messages. Anyway, this was the address from the headmaster.
My favourite part:
"Let us draw on a renewed commitment to live our best lives. To not postpone joy, to not delay telling people you care about that you love them, to not neglect your dreams. Because, as we have seen, sometimes the future we count on may not unfold as expected."
Tēnā koutou katoa, Yesterday, during our formal assembly, I delivered a speech to inform our students about the passing of a teacher, friend, and colleague. My address served as a poignant reminder of the fragile nature of life. Today, I stand before you under the shadow of a recent and profound reminder of life's fragility. I thought I would use this opportunity to talk to you about life and loss. This Monday, as many of you may already know, a member of our community, Mr E, collapsed while at school. Despite the valiant efforts of staff, students, nurses, and emergency services, and his subsequent care at Waikato Hospital, Mr E passed away. Following his return home to Aotearoa, Mr E had only recently joined us as a reliever, bringing with him two decades of experience from international schools across Asia. His journey underscores a life lived with purpose and dedication to educating young minds—a life that, albeit cut short, was undoubtedly lived to its fullest. His family's heartfelt gratitude to those who fought to save him reminds us all of the immediate and instinctive human response to help, to care, and to unite in times of crisis. His whānau have cherished their final moments with him, moments of profound connection and reflection. This event reminds us that we all have to confront the unpredictability of life. It beckons us to not only acknowledge our own mortality (meaning, we will all one day leave this world) but also to take action in living a life filled with intention and kindness. Every day presents a new opportunity to affect the lives around us positively, to make choices that align with our deepest values, and to leave a mark that extends beyond our own existence. I want to express my immense pride in the bravery and compassion displayed by our students, the Year 13 PE class he was teaching, who were first to assist Mr E. Their actions in those critical moments reflect the values we hold dear in our school—courage, compassion, and readiness to support one another in times of need. Equally, our school nurses deserve our deepest thanks. They stepped in with professionalism and care, ensuring that Mr E received the best possible support. We are indeed fortunate to have such dedicated individuals among us, looking after our well-being every day. I encourage everyone in this assembly hall, if you have the opportunity, to extend your personal thanks to our nurses in the Health Centre. Their service and commitment to our community are invaluable. Let us draw on a renewed commitment to live our best lives. To not postpone joy, to not delay telling people you care about that you love them, to not neglect your dreams. Because, as we have seen, sometimes the future we count on may not unfold as expected. Let us pledge to support each other, to cherish each moment, and to always strive towards making our world a little better, just as I am sure Mr E did through his years of teaching and guiding young minds. Our thoughts and prayers are with his whānau and loved ones during this difficult time. Whatungarongaro te tangata, toituu whenua As man disappears from sight, the land remains Sapiens fortunam fingit sibi A wise man carves his own fortune He tangata maarama maana e whakairo toona ara
(Keep in mind that they go to a boys-only school which is why all the quotes etc are all male-orientated).
Hmm. I hope they are okay. Only got this message (under the cut) for one of my kids (Max), so Wax is likely going to be clueless. I'll no doubt find out shortly when I pick them up from school.
Tēnā koutou katoa,
I am writing to inform you about a serious incident that occurred at our school today. I am aware that some boys may arrive home and talk about it. One of our staff members experienced a serious medical emergency and collapsed on the premises. Thanks to the prompt action of our students, staff, and emergency services, the staff member was quickly attended to and is currently receiving medical treatment at the hospital.
Our counselling service has made itself available to all involved and we encourage anyone who may need to talk to seek support.
Out of respect for their privacy, we will not be sharing the name of the individual involved at this time. We want to express our sincere gratitude to everyone who responded swiftly to the situation. Your quick thinking and compassion made a significant difference today.
Our thoughts and prayers are with the staff member and his family and loved ones during this challenging time. We will continue to keep you updated as appropriate.
Thank you for your support and understanding.
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Himi Adventskalender Last-Minute-Short-Story...
I am sorry. It is a short SxF thingy again. I have a lot of trouble thinking of what to do with the Prompts. Nothing turns out the way it should be. This one is total bullshit because the characters crushed my actual idea and now it sounds even more halfhearted then it would have been otherwise. I am really unhappy with me writing, which is why I wanted to stop doing it. But I more or less promised it and I don’t feel good with not even trying. Its just so hard lately. I can not come up with anything. I might decide to try to write without the Prompts, but I am not sure if that will make it better. What I really need is a muse. However... here is my entry for what actually should have been “Unholy Christmas” and let me tell you, there was suppose to be at least GxG too in this story, but we’ve seen last time what happened when I try to force myself to continue writing. So I decided to stop right after SxF. Anyway... here is what was suppose to be a story about unholy christmas with the so not unholy sounding title: “How about a smile?”
Siberu was pouting. And growling. And really, really willing to make it clear that he was absolutely and definitely unhappy, while he was laying on the bed, hands behind his head and angrily looking at a seemingly random place in the room.
When Firey came out of the bathroom, only dressed in a huge red towel that was wrapped around her body, he was still pouting. And when he saw her, he couldn’t help but start to complain. “I hate that!”, he started, while sitting up. “Its Christmas and we couldn’t even celebrate it. We didn’t even have time to get a damn tree because of all the fighting.”
“Usually…”, she began, while folding her arms infront of her chest, “you are complaining that you are bored if there is no fighting going on. I can still hear your words from two weeks ago, that you are soooo awfully bored, because there is no fighting, your beloved Green-chan is so awfully busy and your stupid brother – your words, not mine – always just wants you to learn stuff about this world and our rules. You were almost overjoyed when we had to go back to the battlefield and now you are complaining? Make up your mind, Bakayama.”
His pout grew even bigger at the use of his old nickname. “That is different. I mean, yes, I really like being on a battlefield and having something to do. But… its not like I want to do this almost all day and all night long for two weeks and on top of that missing the opportunity to actually celebrate Christmas. I mean, come on Firey. Christmas. That’s the day we first meet. Especially we should celebrate it.”
“You are just angry because you missed your chance for steeling a kiss from Green under the mistletoe this year.”
“And you are just jealous that I still do that every year”, he grinned in response.
“You just do that to piss of your brother, so why should I care?”
“I don’t want to piss him off, I want him to lose his pokerfaced for once and I am doing it for Green, you know that.”
“Do you want to convince me or yourself?”
He lets himself fall back into the pillow. “Why are you like that? I am sad about the fact that we couldn’t celebrate Christmas and you don’t even try to cheer me up.”
“You talk about kissing Green and then what me to cheer you up?”
“I knew you were jealous”, he grinned once more and she decided to just ignore him and turned towards her closet to find herself something comfortable to wear.
It was silent for a while and then he started to complain again: “I wish we could at least have exchanged gifts. That’s the best part of Christmas after all.” “What would you have given me then?”, Firey asked, while looking a little bit unhappy into her closet.
He thought about her question for a moment, his answer was not what she had expected. “I would have gone to London with you. We haven’t been there in a while and technically, this is were we started our relationship… so even more reason to visit that place around Christmas. Plus, I know you like it there.” She gave in to the urge to close her eyes and imagine that for a moment. Just the two of them. Walking though the streets of London, holding hands, Sibi teasing her every now and then… remembering old times… “I would have liked that”, she said then and turned around to look at him: “What would have you wanted in return?”
He surprised her once more, looking dead serious when he sat up again and answered “How about a smile? I haven’t seen you smile ever since that incident last month. I miss your smile.”
She tried but failed to give him a true smile and saw how his expression saddened. “I am sorry. Anything else that I can give you for the time being?”
“What would you be willing to give me?”
After a moment of seriously thinking about it, she grinned at him and let her towel fall down to the ground. The surprise in his eyes lasted for a few lousy seconds before a smug grin came to his face. “I guess that will do for now.” He got up and pressed her now naked body against his, leaning his forehead against hers, his eyes full of love for her, desire hardly visible under it. “Maybe I find a way to make you smile while we are at it”, he whispered before he have her a kiss full of love that only slowly turned into a kiss full of passion…
#Himi#Himi adventskalender#SxF#I don't know what is wrong with me#Why can't I write anymore?#I wanted that to be a gloriously dirty story#not like a smut#but... you know with dirty jokes#suggestive looks#and look what that turned into#we never were suppose to talk about London or that Firey has not smiled in a while#Sibi was suppose to simply complain about not getting any presents#any Firey was suppose to decide letting her towel fall to the ground would be a good gift for now#I don't even know where this How about a smile? thing suddenly came from#no idea what actually happened either#it just so happened that Sibi needed to say that#like... he decided he had to#and then I was like: "Shit! What are you doing? How am I suppose to get that dirty now?#Has anyone seen my inspiration?#I could use it right now#I want someone to sing songs of shippings and lovestorys and dirty smuts into me head#so I can go back to actually having fun writing a story#i am sorry#I mean to wish you a happy advent
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*taps mic* is this thang on?? haha anyways I’m lame but I wanted to talk about some thangs. I’ve only been reading BTS fanfics on tumblr for a year and I’ve only been actively staning the boys for 2.
I have read a bunch of bts fanfics of every genre and with every member and I’ve recently started reading ot7 x readers and as someone who’s poly I see a lot of... cracks
1. JIN AND HOBI ARE NOT BACKGROUND CHARACTERS.
in some fics hobi barely gets half a chapter let alone a chapter at all. i know and understand that writing a 8 person relationship is not easy. i dip my toes in writing so again I understand but It’s not a 8 person relationship if you exclude people that dynamic
giving Hobi a line or two and a smut scene isn’t good enough. making Jin pop up out of no where and cook y/n a feast and never be heard again is not good enough. if you’re going to make a OT7 fic make it OT7 lovelies. Hobi and Jin deserve more love ☹️☹️
2. SEX
losing your virginity to idk namjoons monster cock then getting railed by yoongi long slong is not gonna cut it. GIVE Y/N A BREAK!!! sex is not always a key to a polyamory relationship. Most ppl think that being poly means more sex no no no, what other connections do they have other than mind blowing sex? Why are these 8 people okay with being in a relationship? How do they settle with their dynamic? Who fell for who first? How do they express themselves without sex?
I don’t necessarily like slow burns fic but at least give it some time before the sexy time. 
I think I’m done? Lol please don’t get mad at me i I’ll literally cry I love every fanfic writer for sharing their beautiful brain with tons of people (beautiful brain?)
Anyways I’m rambling Here’s some OT7 fics I like a lot. I suck at words and reviews but here I go.
@hollyhomburg OMG DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BILY!! i love their fic it breaks down their dynamic and relationships with mc perfectly. It’s the perfect type of slow burn and everyone is relatable in some way. I love liv they’re a cutie and as soon as I’m done writing I’m heading right over to spam like and read the new chapter 🥺💗💗💗
@jellifysh LOVE LOVE LOVE Getting back Into the swing of things!!! Again the right amount of slow burn and the smooth way that OT6 includes mc into their cute dynamic. The boys slowly fall in love with mc for all the right reasons. And I’m sad that’s it’s ending soon but still Absolutely love Jelli and their story 💗
@borathae okay ALLL of sibi fics are AMAZING and sibi is lovely🥰 and technically Sanguis Alpha isn’t a ot7 fic really but still i love it!! I don’t wanna say too much to spoil anything but I wanna hug yoongi and jungkook and never let go (and curb stomp namjoon) also her friends with Hobi and Jin gives me life. I sit waiting every Thursday and Saturday for their updates 💗💗.
Okay bye xxx 🤓
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merlin and the no good, very bad magical illness
Summary: A mystery illness has swept through Camelot - or, more specifically, the sorcerers of Camelot. Arthur is at a loss, Morgana is angry, and Gwaine is, well, Gwaine is a nosy, stubborn bastard.
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur Leon/Morgana, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwaine/Percival
Warnings: descriptions of illness, brief mention of vomiting, sickfic, hurt/comfort
Word count: 4.8K
A/N: this is crossposted on AO3 and my main blog under the same title :)
~~~
“Numero quinque in maledictionem et damnationem et mortem sibi.”
The woman threw a handful of powder into the flame, closely followed by a shredded list of names, causing the blood red flames to shoot upwards, lickng roughly at the roof of the cave.
“Are you ready, my Lady?” Her lady’s maid asked.
“Yes,” the woman smirked, “we must make haste if we are to reach Camelot in time.”
~~~
On Tuesday, at six am, Merlin had come bustling into Arthur's chambers, throwing open the curtains and slamming breakfast onto the table as usual - almost as usual, because today Arthur wasn’t blessed with Merlin’s mindless ramblings. He would never admit aloud that he likes listening to Merlin talk - not that he needed to, his knights reminded him enough - but that didn’t mean he found it any less comforting.
“Good morning to you too, Merlin.” He grumbled, pulling the duvet back over his head.
“Busy day today, Sire, you have a council meeting in an hour, the final test for the new knights before lunch, an address at midday, and we are receiving Lady Mithiana this evening.” Merlin said in lieu of responding and didn’t look up from the clothes he started to fold.
Of course, Arthur thought, the speech.
Everyday for the past two weeks, one person had fallen ill on the stroke of midnight, and was dead within twenty-four hours. Gaius had never seen anything like it - there seemed to be no link whatsoever between those who suffered: six farmers, four maids, one stable-boy, one stonemason, one carpenter, and one nobleman who had been visiting. They did not eat the same food or drink the same water - they had none of them even met - and yet, they shared the exact same symptoms.
The citizens of Camelot were understandably frightened, and Arthur had regularly been updating them, trying to keep spirits high, and it worked, for the most part. For some reason, the situation seemed to be hitting Merlin harder than anyone else.
Just as Merlin was about to return the dirty plates to the kitchen, the chamber door flew open and Leon came running in, terror etched into his face and lacing the words he spoke.
“My Lord, there’s been another. It’s La-” Leon cut himself off when he spotted Merlin, immediately turning his attention to the servant. “Merlin, you’re here. It’s Morgana. She’s been taken ill.”
Arthur could feel a shift in the atmosphere as Merlin tried to bury his own feelings. Almost a year ago, Morgana had revealed to Arthur that she had magic, and he had started to keep a closer eye on her - something he was now ashamed of, Morgana would never do anything to hurt him. In that time, though, Arthur had noticed how close Morgana and Merlin were, and a small, selfish, jealous part of him had suspected their relationship to be more than close friends, but Leon’s horribly obvious love-struck gazing had put an end to that. What Arthur didn’t know was that a few months before Morgana had revealed herself to Arthur, she had magically flipped over her dressing table and smashed the mirror in a fit of rage, and that night, Merlin had vowed to help her control her gift.
Merlin took a breath as he assessed the situation.
“Leon, find Gwen and bring her to Morgana’s chambers - have her bring water and a flannel.” He put the plates back on the table and turned to Arthur, “Arthur, you must attend the council meeting - I know you want to be with Morgana, but you will be of more use to her and to your kingdom if you continue with your duties. I will let you know if there is news.”
On any other day, Arthur would have protested and thrown his cup at Merlin for his insolence, but the wavering resolve in his eye stopped Arthur, and he just nodded. He didn’t need to make this any more difficult for Merlin than it already was - Arthur could hardly acknowledge what he would be willing to do if Merlin asked.
~~~
“How is she?” Leon asked from the doorway of Morgana’s chambers. He had a ribbon in his hand which he kept folding and twisting, and Merlin recognised it as the one Morgana had given him for luck the day after they confessed to each other, when Leon had ridden into battle.
“She has the first symptoms.” Merlin said, taking the cloth from Gwen and placing it on Morgana's brow. “Her fever’s not too high, but the rash has begun.” He lifted her arm and noticed the rash was spreading too - he didn’t mention this to Leon, no need to give more cause for concern.
It was only going to get worse, and there was nothing Merlin could do.
~~~
“My Lord, I believe I have found a link between all of those infected.” Gaius said tentatively from his seat at the round table. All heads turned to Arthur but he didn’t realise, his gaze fixed on some unseen point in the centre of the table.
“Arthur?” Lancelot said when he didn’t even acknowledge that Gaius had spoken.
“My apologies, please continue.”
Gaius pulled a rolled parchment from his robe. “Yes, I may have found what connects each of those who have died, but I fear you may not like it.”
“Finding a link means we can find a cause, yeah? So that’s a good thing.”
“Very well. Your father never told you, but he kept a list of those he suspected to be sorcerers. I hadn’t seen the thing for some five months, until I came across it last night and realized this: the people who have died are the first fourteen on the list, and they have died in that order.”
“Let me see it.”
Sure enough, the parchment contained a list and there, in black and white, was Morgana’s name.
~~~
“My Lady!” The maid hurried into the tent they had set up just outside of Camelot. “Your spell, my Lady, it has affected the Lady Morgana, she has fallen ill, you must-”
“Leave me. I must fix this.”
The woman turned to her altar, quickly scrawling a name on a scrap of parchment and throwing it into the fire.
“Elevatis a maledicto maledictum mouit alium maledictio super fuve Merlin illo mortem iurabant.”
Morgana must be spared, but in her place another must go, and who better than the serving boy the king seemed so enamoured with.
~~~
The rest of the day passed in a blur, and whilst Arthur still had his duties, he had to visit Morgana before Lady Mithiana arrived, even though he knew that her condition would only be deteriorating.
At midday, he approached Morgana’s door, and as he drew nearer he heard the rumble of Leon's laughter over layed by that of Gwen. How can they be laughing at a time such as this? He fumed, wrenching the door open.
“What on earth-”
Gwen was sitting on the edge of Morgana's bed, and Leon had finally ventured inside, which was surprising, but not as surprising as the fact that Morgana was now sitting up in her bed, smiling weakly at Arthur who stood dumbstruck in the doorway.
“Arthur, there’s a draft, please shut the door.” She said, her voice a little rough.
“I’ll fetch Merlin.” Gwen said as she ushered Leon from the room.
Morgana still looked sickly pale, her hair brokenly framing her face in a greasy halo, and there were still patches of the rash on her exposed skin, but she was awake, and that’s all that truly mattered.
“How is this possible? Merlin said that you had the sickness, we didn’t think you would-”
“Don’t,” Morgana reached for his hand and tugged until he sat beside her, “please, I’m okay now so you can stop worrying. Lady Mithiana is due to arrive soon, and you must be there to welcome her. Hopefully I will join you both for lunch tomorrow, but for now please send my regards.”
Before Arthur had a chance to respond, Merlin crashed into the room, the medicine bag falling off of his shoulder before he belatedly remembered himself and straightened into a half-bow and told Arthur that Lady Mithiana had arrived not five minutes ago.
When Merlin and Morgana were alone, Merlin began his examination, which ultimately concluded that yes, she was getting better, and no, he could not explain it.
“Is there something wrong with me?” It was the first thing Morgana had said to him since before she had fallen ill, and the almost child-like fear in her voice stopped Merlin packing up his things.
“Quite the opposite - you’re as healthy as a horse. Not that you are a- that’s a strange saying, isn’t it? Who decided that horses were the epitome of health? Why not pigs? Or dogs? Or-”
“No. I mean,” Morgana took a breath and looked away, “Is there something wrong with me because I have magic? Why did I get better but no one else did? We both know that at least half of the people who have died were sorcerers, and they didn’t get better! What makes me so special? What if I'm cursed, Merlin? What if I'm cursed and this is merely the calm before the storm?!”
Merlin took her hand in his - he had never seen her in such a state, well, not since the night he found out about her magic. “You are not cursed; I would know, I would be able to tell. I promise, I will get to the bottom of this. For now you must rest.”
Morgana only hummed vaguely in response.
~~~
Lady Mithiana was waiting in the throne room. She and Morgana had been friends since before Gorlois’ death, and had remained so after Morgana moved to Camelot. In recent years, though, she had visited less frequently, having grown apart from Morgana.
“Arthur! It has been so long, how have you been?” She exclaimed, voice high and grating, hands outstretched.
“I am well, Mithiana, and must say that you look radiant as ever.” He said, kissing her hand. “I’m afraid that the Lady Morgana has been taken ill, but hopes to join us again tomorrow.”
“Oh, how dreadful - I do hope that she recovers soon.” If Arthur didn’t know better, he would have said there was guilt in her voice.
By the time Arthur found himself back in his own chambers, it was nearly eleven, and he was so tired that he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed that he had to undress himself. He wouldn’t have minded Merlin's company, but he had been under so much pressure lately that even Arthur had to concede that yes, Merlin did deserve a break.
~~~
Gwaine was a knight of Camelot, and he should not be getting into brawls in the tavern, especially not ones involving too many tankards of mead and very small, very sharp knives. In Gwaine’s defence, the bastard with the knife deserved a beating. Probably. Or maybe it was Gwaine that deserved it - he couldn't really remember much of the fight, only that he ended up with a deep gash on his arm that he couldn’t sew up himself because the room was spinning. Or maybe he was.
“Merlin.” Gwaine whispered loudly as the door to the physicians’ work room creaked open. It took him a moment to notice that it was just after midnight, which would explain the quiet of the room, but not the fact that Gaius was missing from his bed, and it certainly didn't explain the fact that he could still see candle light flickering behind Merlin's door.
“Merlin, are you still awake?” As Gwaine went closer to the door, he could hear a faint whimpering. Drunkenness and wound forgotten, he pushed the door open.
“Well. Shit.”
When Gwaine first met Merlin, he knew he had magic - it’s a wonder no one else knew because really, how can you plausibly explain an entire bench flying through the air? He never said anything, though, never even told Merlin that he knew, but maybe he should have. That morning, when Gaius had identified the link between the deaths, Gwaine had meant to find Merlin and tell him that he knew, tell Merlin that he was there, but Arthur had been in a bad mood and worked the knights until they could hardly stand.
Now, Gwaine regretted not sneaking away because there was Merlin, lying beneath the threadbare blanket, sweat dripping from his brow and shivers racking his body.
“I’m fine.” Merlin croaked, pulling the blanket tighter under his chin.
“And I’m the King of the castle. Merlin, stop trying to hide from me?” Gwaine pulled the blanket down so he could see his face. “ You have magic, don’t you?” Gwaine pushed Merlin’s hair back from his brow. A brief flicker of fear broke through the fever, but then Merlin leaned into the touch.
“Where’s Arthur?” Of course he wasn’t going to ask for Gaius, or Morgana, or someone who could help.
“You’re a bloody fool, Merlin. I’ll be back soon.”
On his way out, he saw that Gaius had yet to return, and he kept an eye out as he ran through the castle to the king's chambers - he would rather have gone looking for Gaius, but if the only person Merlin wanted was Arthur then he would deliver.
“Arthur!” He shouted, letting himself in and coming to stand next to the bed. “Arthur, it’s Merlin, he’s sick.” He shook Arthur's shoulders.
Arthur just rolled over and mumbled, “Why’re you in my dreams? Go away.”
Gwaine really didn’t have time for this, and he had half a mind to twat Arthur if only for his shite reflexes, but opted instead to tell the guard outside to fetch Gwen immediately, and send for George in the morning.
Waiting for Gwen - or Gaius, if he ever turned up - was torture, but Gwaine remained at Merlin’s side, trying to keep his temperature down as best he could. Never had the sound of heeled shoes been of such comfort to him.
Gaius returned in the early hours of the morning with a basket full of herbs which he immediately abandoned in favour of tending Merlin, despite the fact there was nothing they could do.
By the time the sun began creeping over the horizon, Gwen had worked herself into and out of a state more times than Gwaine could count - fussing about how she knew but never wanted to admit it, how she knew Lancelot knew and he hadn’t told her and oh lord is that a rash already?!
~~~
On Wednesday, Arthur woke just as the door to his chamber opened.
“I hope you’ve got me something decent this morning, Merlin, I don't know what you gave me yesterday, but I hope I never have it again.”
“You have a light breakfast this morning, Sire, and an early lunch with Lady Morgana and Lady Mithiana.”
That’s not Merlin. Arthur sat up and came face to face with George.
“Why are you here? Where’s Merlin?” He asked as he began to dress - he couldn’t deal with George today, especially not his brass jokes.
“I’m sorry, my Lord, I thought you had been informed - Merlin has been taken ill. I heard that he has the illness, do you think -”
“You’re dismissed.” Arthur called over his shoulder, already halfway out the door.
~~~
Merlin had started to show the third symptom a little before dawn - violent vomiting, which almost immediately turned into painful dry heaving because Merlin hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before.
That was when Arthur arrived.
“Why was I not informed that my manservant is ill.” He asked, stalking into the already crowded room.
“I did tell you, prick. You told me to go away.” Gwaine stood between Arthur and Merlin - subconsciously trying to protect Merlin, some part of him still remembering that Arthur didn’t know about Merlin's magic.
“I thought…” Arthur pushed Gwaine out of the way and came to sit by Merlin's bed, “I thought that was a dream. If I had known…”
They all sat in relative silence for a while, only the sound of Merlin dry heaving breaking the quiet until Arthur spoke again.
“This illness, Gaius, you said yesterday that it only affects those with magic?”
The words had such an effect that besides Gwaine squaring up, Merlin actually ceased vomiting as if he were waiting to hear what judgement would be passed, waiting to hear whether he would live or die.
They didn’t get to find out, though, because Morgana was now marching through them, rage and concern oozing from her every pore in equal measure.
“How is he?” she asked, and everyone pretended her voice didn't crack half way through.
Gaius responded, his words tight and even as if he was walking a tightrope of emotion and trying desperately not to fall off, “The symptoms are progressing as would be expected, my lady,” he bowed his head, “he won’t make it through the night.”
~~~
Morgana and Arthur still attended lunch with Lady Mithiana, and Arthur’s not sure he’s ever regretted anything so much in his entire life.
“My dearest Morgana, I am so glad that you are feeling better.”
There’s that guilt again.
“I heard about your manservant, Arthur, it’s simply dreadful! Oh, I can’t imagine how I would survive if my lady’s maid was ill - it’s almost impossible to find good help nowadays.”
Just the insinuation that Merlin was nothing more than ‘the help’ had Arthur physically biting his tongue and clenching his fists as Mithiana continued to speak.
“I heard yesterday that this illness was only inflicted upon those with magic.” She spat out the word as if it was the worst in the whole language, and Morgana couldn’t hide her flinch - not that Mithiana noticed. “Do you think that your manservant has magic, my Lord?”
He did, actually, and had for a while. He’s not sure when he first realised, perhaps it was after a particularly nasty run in with some bandits when one too many branches had fallen at a convenient time, one too many bandits had randomly dropped their swords and tripped over roots that Arthur is almost certain weren’t there a moment earlier. Despite his suspicions, he had never actually caught Merlin in the act, but he did start to notice more of the little things that actually went right - and the bigger things that made Arthur think that maybe, just maybe Merlin could somehow talk to dragons.
“The thing that confuses me is how does this illness know who does and doesn’t have magic?” Mithiana squawked smugly.
~~~
Morgana followed Arthur to his chambers after they had eaten, and, upon entry, they found Gwaine sitting at the table, spinning a knife back and forth though his fingers.
“Merlin’s hallucinating - only two new symptoms to go. Do you want to know what he’s seeing?”
Instead of answering, Arthur tipped Gwaine out of the chair and onto the floor.
“He keeps asking for you, Princess. He keeps asking if you hate him.”
“I do not-” Arthur shouted, slamming his fist on the table. “I do not hate him. He is my- he is Merlin and I cannot hate him.”
“We know, Arthur, but for now, do you remember what Mithiana said? She said ‘how does this illness know who does and doesn’t have magic?’.” Ever the rational one, Morgana took a seat at the head of the table.
“What are you suggesting? That a person is doing this?”
“Not a person,” Gwaine said from the floor, “a sorcerer.”
~~~
“Arthur? I’m sorry, please, I'm sorry. I would never hurt you, I promise, we would never - Morgana- '' Merlin mumbled, tossing about in his rickety old bed as Gwen tried desperately to dab the sweat and tears from his face.
“Gaius, he feels hotter.”
“Unfortunately it’s only going to get worse, my dear.”
“Oh god - he’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me, I don't want him to kill - he can’t kill me, I can't die, I can't live if he’s not there.” In a brief moment of clarity, Merlin groped for Gwen's hand and held it tightly, looking pleadingly into her eyes.
“You can’t let him kill me.” Merlin turned to the side and began throwing up the little water he had managed to drink.
~~~
Arthur, Gwaine and Morgana spent the better part of the day trying to work out who wanted to kill the sorcerers in Camelot, but kept coming up empty.
“No one has been executed for magic since I became king, so it can’t be some twisted type of revenge and if it’s not revenge then there is no reason for this to be happening!”
“Forgive me in advance, but Lady Mithiana arrived the day Morgana recovered, and was here when Merlin fell ill, perhaps she…” Gwaine stopped suddenly, as if the daggers Arthur was glaring at him had cut through his vocal chords.
“I appreciate your honesty, Sir Gwaine,” Morgana said frostily, “but I would appreciate it more if next time, you kept it to yourself.”
Gwaine, of course, was an idiot, and Percival could resist everyone except Gwaine, which is how they found themselves in the guest room currently occupied by Lady Mithiana.
“Gwaine, we shouldn’t be here.”
“You, Percy, are the one who actually broke in here, technically I just followed.” Gwaine said, throwing a wink over his shoulder along with some clothes out of Lady Mithiana’s case.
Percival stubbornly unfolded his arms and began to look through her vanity, “I only did it because you promised me blowjobs for the rest of the week.” He threw a hairbrush at Gwaine. “I’ll be holding you to that, even if we’re in the dungeons.”
“Kinky.”
“Shut up. There's nothing here anyway, we should really go.” Percy said, all but dragging Gwaine from the room.
~~~
When Arthur went to visit Merlin, only Gaius was there, and he tactfully excused himself. Arthur didn’t want to think about the implications of that, he didn’t want to think about the fact that Gaius was giving them some time alone as if it was the last chance Arthur had to say whatever it was that he needed to say. Maybe he would have felt better if he knew what he actually needed to say.
As it happens, Merlin was the first to speak.
“Gwen, you have to promise that Morgana will be safe. Arthur doesn’t know she has magic but she is good and kind and you have to save her.” He whispered and it took Arthur a second to realise that Merlin was still hallucinating.
“I know that she has magic,” Arthur picked up the cloth, gently trying to cool Merlin down, “she told me last year, remember?”
“But what about me, Gwen? I don’t want him to kill me.” Arthur’s almost certain that Merlin would have cried if he hadn’t started dry heaving again - no, not dry heaving, that’s blood.
“Gaius!”
It was another half hour before Merlin had calmed down enough to hear Arthur say in a voice almost as delicate as his thumb on Merlin’s cheek, “I could never harm you, Merlin, you mean too much to me.”
~~~
Gwaine still had not given up on his theory about Lady Mithiana and so had enlisted Lancelot to help him that night. They waited behind a pillar outside her chambers until, an hour before midnight, her door creaked open and she disappeared down the hallway, her cloak brushing the ground as she walked. The only other sound was the knights’ near silent footfalls as they crept after her.
~~~
Meanwhile, Merlin's tiny room was more full than it was built to be - Gaius, Arthur and Gwen sat dutifully by his bedside, and they were surrounded by Morgana and all of the knights, bar Gwaine and Lancelot.
Merlin looked even worse now: a combination of the fever, rash, vomiting, hallucinations and blood each hitting in full force.
“Gwaine and Lancelot should be here.” Arthur said, almost to himself. “Percival, you two are attached at the hip, where is he?”
“I- He told you what he thought of Lady Mithiana? He didn’t give up on that and he’s taken Lancelot to - I don't know, investigate?”
Artur nodded, brushing his fingers through Merlin’s hair in such a delicate gesture that he must have forgotten that they weren’t alone.
~~~
Lady Mithiana had waked a little ways into the forest, to a clearing by the river, guided along a path illuminated with a glowing orb that floated above her outstretched hand, until she reached a tent.
“Magic! I fucking knew it.” Gwaine hissed. Lancelot punched him in the arm.
“She must have some sort of altar in there and that's the source of the spell.”
“Alright, so we just have to destroy the altar before she either kills Merlin or kills us. That should be easy.”
~~~
The night was almost over - there were maybe five minutes until midnight and Arthur's not quite sure that he was ready to say goodbye.
Maybe if he didn’t, Merlin wouldn’t leave.
“Arthur. Where’s Arthur?” Merlin’s voice was a jagged whisper, each word clawing its way out on bloody hands and knees.
Arthur still hadn’t moved his hand from Merlin’s hair, “Hush, Merlin, you must rest.”
“No I- Arthur you have to listen.” His eyes were wide, and he grabbed onto Arthur’s wrist, “You are the once and future king, and one day you will unite the land of Albion. I have-” He paused, heaving, “I have brought you as far as I can, you must carry on without me and fulfil your destiny.”
Arthur was still reeling from the weight of the words when he felt Merlin's fingers go slack around his wrist.
It was so quiet that he’s almost sure the room heard his heart drop at the realization that Merlin was actually gone, and for good this time. And Arthur couldn't even save him like he had before when Merlin had taken the poison, or thrown himself in front of the dorocha to save Arthur. It was always Merlin saving him and he had never even said thank you.
The loud gasp that sounded a few minutes later didn’t stir Arthur from his brooding - he assumed it was Morgana, unable to hold in her tears, or Gwaine arriving to find his friend dead - but then the hand that was still loosely wrapped around his wrist twitched and then moved until it was holding his hand.
“Wonders never cease. I knew you were stubborn, Merlin, but cheating death? That’s impressive, even for you.” Arthur teased, trying desperately not to cry, squeezing Merlin’s hand as if he thought he would drift away.
~~~
Over the sound of their heaving breaths and pounding feet, Gwaine and Lancelot could hardly hear the burning tent or the screams of Mithiana melting into it.
Looking back, it may have gone a little smoother had Lancelot been allowed to make a plan, but Gwaine was full of righteous indignation and would hear none of it, so, when Lady Mithiana stepped outside the tent again, the two knights slipped past her, Lancelot waiting by the flap and Gwaine heading straight for the altar.
He was just about to flip the table when Lady Mithiana returned and stopped in the centre of the tent.
“I suppose I should have expected someone to find out. I certainly should have expected it would be you, Sir Gwaine. You and your lumbering friend aren’t nearly as stealthy as you think you are.”
“Why are you doing this? Why would a sorcerer, a powerful one at that, be killing her own?”
“King Arthur has always been good to me, and we used to speak of ruling over Camelot together. He has put his life at risk time and time again for the likes of that serving boy, for the likes of you, and if he’s dead, how would I rule alongside him?”
Gwaine shifted, his hand coming to rest on his sword, “That doesn't explain why you have brutally murdered fourteen people.”
“You and your band of misfits have wormed your way into the king's inner circle, and I don’t trust you - who knows what you are planning! I just want to protect the king.” Mithiana screeched.
“You’re off your fucking rocker.” Gwaine said, eyes flicking briefly to Lancelot who had yet to move.
“No, I just want to protect the king, I want to rule alongside him, and to do that I must first eliminate all threats to my power, and you have just moved yourself to the top of that list.” Her eyes began to glow and Gwaine realised that he had seen Merlin's do the same. Shit.
“Asphyx-”
Before she could finish the spell, Lancelot smashed her on the head with the hilt of the sword.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, lets just destroy this altar and we can go.”
~~~
When they finally reached Merlin’s chambers nearly ten minutes later, they almost burst straight in but the sound of hushed conversation halted them in their tracks.
“... really have believed I would hurt you?”
“I wasn’t sure, but I hoped you wouldn’t. It’s taken me years to get you to stop being such a prat - I’m good but not a miracle worker.”
“Merlin.”
#merlin bbc#merthur#leon/morgana#gwen/lancelot#gwaine/percival#sickfic#hurt/comfort#arthur knows about morganas magic#ratwrites
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