#sian able

[raycatzdraws]

Happy New Year! Here's to strengthening friendships, learning new skills, and summer camp!

The December art is @theelvishfiddler's robot oc! Thanks for letting me model them, Sian!

2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013

[pawstepsinthesnow]

ngl I think everyone should get themselves hopelessly obsessed with a deeply flawed piece of media at least once in their lifetime

it's good for you

[negrowhat]

2024 BL Superlatives

Thanks @lurkingshan for bringing this back!!!!!!!!! Sorry if mine is super long, but I did taper it down a bit.

Best Love in this Tub Scene- For Him. For Him is not a good series. At all, but that TUB SCENE???? 10/10. Honestly I loved the main couple and I wish I could extract them from that horrendous series.

Best Snot-Nosed Kiss Between A Husband and Wife-Meet You At The Blossom. The first kiss in the first ever uncensored Wuxia DID NOT disappoint. It was so sweet and passionate and I know it was freezing cold in that room because there was snot everywhere and I loved every moment of it. Also the makeup department did a good job of making them both look so sickly.

Fave Bittersweet Happy Ending-Love for Love's Sake. I think this series was perfection and it made me cry buckets. I know the series technically ended happily, Myungha and Yeowoon were together, but it hurt me that Myungha had to find his happiness beyond his life. But he did achieve ultimate peace. It felt bittersweet to me and I did cry about it for several days.

Best Make Up Dickdown-Love in the Big City. Go Young's relationship with Young Su was toxic as fuck BUT that one makeup sex scene they had was the best love scene in the whole series. I'm all for a good dick down to combat a heated argument.

Best Torn Up Contract Reaction-Love Sea. The second Tongrak ripped up his contract with Mahasamut the gloves came off. Mahasamut didn't waste time kicking Tongrak's sperm donor's ass and we all cheered! Mahasmut is such a MAN.

Best Use of an Umbrella-Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. That very ending scene when Juyeong picks Dohoe up from school. It's raining outside and Juyeong is just smiling so brightly and it makes Dohoe smile and Dohoe sprints across the courtyard to meet Juyeong. It was the first time Dohoe ever looked genuinely happy. It was so fucking perfect.

Best Wet Dream had by a 124 Year Old Man-Century of Love. I was going to say Fox Vixen Vee because what a masterpiece of a dream that was, but we're here for San's first wet dream. It was filled with so much emotion. A confession, tears flowing, passionate kisses, and San stripping Vee and himself down. Only to be awakened by a glass of water tipping over. What did that glass of water signify??? Grandpa San's first nut in 100 years. Epic. San could deny Vee all he wanted but that dream confirmed he was sexually attracted to that man.

Ugliest Wedding-Wandee Goodday. Okay I adore OyeiCher but their wedding was so unpleasing to the eye. I hated pretty much everything about it but I did cheer for them getting married. They're truly one of the best already established couples I've ever seen..but they really should've called Namnuea to plan the wedding.

Most Daring Rescue-Two Worlds. Tai rescuing Kram from his father's clutches after Phupha and Jao abandoned him. Tai infiltrated that site like a fucking ghost. Putting on that undertaker costume to swoop in and save his boy who had practically given up on life. Oh I loved the way Kram clung to Tai and how Tai was just so calm and collected. Sure Phupha helped but he deserves no praise.

Messiest Cooking Competition Not Televised-This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans. Between the cheating, lies, deception, and SEX that competition would've been a HUGE reality TV hit. And if Chef Oab had put up cameras in the restaurant everyone would've been able to witness his hot, horny, and inappropriate relationship with a contestant.

Best Dream Relationship-4 Minutes. Wild GreatTyme's most organic and healthy relationship was a dream sequence in Tyme's dying brain. His 4 Minutes was the best version of that relationship.

Best English Lesson-Jack & Joker. Definitely the most emotionally charged English Lesson I've ever seen and now I feel a tingle whenever I hear the word 'Confess' or 'Promise'. Jack was not at all subtle about letting Jack know he wanted him by his side.

Best Popsicle-Dick-Sucking Entendre. Every You, Every Me. Sian came around that corner wearing only a towel and sucking sensually on a flesh-colored-phallic-shaped popsicle. He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing and he just wanted Blue to know that he was ready to suck him off whenever he wanted. Bravo.

Best Series I Never Got-Your Dear Daddy. BECAUSE WHERE THE FUCK IS IT??? I've been waiting for Fluke Pusit and Saeng Nuea impatiently for entirely too fucking long. GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

[dearyuls]

#. — chae yul x reader (she/her pronouns used.)

#. content warnings! — extreme yandere behaviour, failed recovery, obsession, stalking, kidnapping, murder, violence, blood and injuries, gore.

#. word count! — (so far) 13,500.

#. < full fanfiction, slowburn, no update schedule just whenever I feel like writing. only three chapter have been written so far, slow updates. also being crossposted on ao3 and wattpad as “ hand in unlovable hand”

#. > 0 | 1| 2 | <

PROLOGUE.

He swore to himself that this would be a new chance, he wouldn't waste the second chance at life that Eun Sian had graciously gifted him, in not ruining his life, that was all he could do in thanks to his dear person...well. Ex-dear person.

It was only one picture, he wouldn't let it get out of hand again, he probably wouldn't see you ever again, fate was cruel like that, and more than anyone, he knew he couldn't bend it to his will, even if he were to break all of his fingers doing so.

He had been moved far away from Sian, all on his own. A fresh slate. And, now he had no school to preoccupy himself with, he figured that finding a job would be the best thing for him to do in order to try and get his life back on track from the disastrous place he had steered it to, he blamed himself for it all, so, he decided he must be the one to fix it.

His father had given him the money to move in, and apart from that, he had no contact with his family in the slightest, he had no family left that wanted anything to do with him, he had no support system, and with this came more reason to job hunt, with no money he wouldn't be able to feed himself, or pay the bills he had.

Since he was already skilled in photography, that was the easiest first step in his mind, he'd build up a portfolio and become a photographer for events ,such as weddings, and put his prior experience to use.

It was a somewhat warm day in spring, Yul stood outside, camera in hand, snapping pictures of the scenery around him, he was just wandering around, finding whatever he saw pretty he wore a plain outfit, all black, with a hat on so that less of his face was visible, he was aware nobody that knew him could be here, they had actual lives to attend to, but, the thought of it happening but him on edge, he was lucky to be holding his camera or he would've bitten his fingernails half to death.

" At least it's a nice day out.." he mumbled to himself, as he moved to snap a photo of a water fountain that he had found in the middle of one of the nearby parks, surrounded by the greenery it made for an aesthetic picture, just what he was looking for.

CLICK!

The shutter went off and Yul waited to check the photo on the screen...

Fuck, He'd have to retake it, he couldn't have that person standing in the frame.

He looked up, he had to see if whoever you were had moved, and, it was as if the first domino had been pushed over, you were looking away, it appeared an orange butterfly had caught your attention, so you didn't make eye contact, but Yul felt his heart speed up. The rays of sunlight painted your face, the gentle breeze made your hair flow ever so slightly..and you were just wearing the cutest outfit..he wondered what Sian would look like if she wore it.

He slapped himself in the face. He hated the way he thought, he needed to stop thinking about her, it wouldn't get him anywhere. He wanted to change, it was what she wanted. He knew Sian would never wear a skirt like that, what a dumb thought.

By the time he'd finished his self argument, she had already gotten out of the frame, and Yul hesitated before taking another picture, he wouldn't delete the first photo, something compelled him not to.

He bit his lip, harsh, almost like trying to draw blood as he went back to the first photo, infact, your presence there seemed to elevate the scene, maybe it was better with you in it... the more he looked at the photo the more he seemed to agree.

He shook that feeling off and kept walking, he had to learn to do something by himself without the thoughts of her creeping in.

By the time the sun started setting Yul had already gone home, he felt strange, unable to take anymore pictures. His mood had turned completely dejected. It hasn't been all that great after getting out of hospital, he had been miserable despite trying, and today he just started to feel worse.

He was on his computer, which sat on a little desk in the left corner of his room. And was clicking through the photos which he had taken, figuring out which one would be the best to show to professional companies, he had only found two of actual quality for that day, and he clicked right, going to the next one, the one with that girl in it.

He zoomed in, and in and in.

He just sat in his dimly light room, illuminated by a single lamp, with his eyes pressed to the computer screen. Staring at you, Unblinking.

He stared, and stared, and stared.

It didn't take him long to realise he was being creepy, this behaviour wasn't right. He needed to stop.  In the short time he was at therapy, he had been taught a few ways t stop himself when he got all worked up like this, but, it was a shame he couldn't remember a single one of them.

It had been some time since he showed proper interest in anyone, and, you were just some random girl, he wouldn't let it get any worse again, he didn't even know your name or anything, plus he didn't even know anything about you.

Despite the kind look on your face and your general demeanour, you could still be a serpent lying beneath.

Why was he even questioning any of that? He didn't even know you, why was he trying to figure out what kind of person you were? He shook his head, minimising his gallery before closing his computer completely, maybe he was just feeling vulnerable and this is why his strange feelings started to act up again..

Yul had no other explanation outside of it being that, so, he decided to try and sleep it off. He got up from his desk and draped himself over his bed, staring up at his empty walls. With no pictures spread over them, it didn't look right, he could just imagine her face staring back at him...but she wasn't there. She had abandoned him she was horrible she was

Something he no longer needed to worry about, he reminded himself. He had no right to be angry.

He just needed to search and find something to overwhelm the still lingering feelings he has,  or he needs to actually get better, one of the two, he'd settle for.

[mikkalia]

Angstpril 2025: Day 1: Forgotten

Greez decides Cal needs more clothes than the jumpsuit he left Bracca in and some old ponchos.

Greez gives him a Look when Cal finally stumbles out of his room later than usual, feeling like he's been headbutt by a dozen or so phillak -- which isn't that far off, actually. Cal blinks muzzily at him, still not quite awake, when the captain throws all four arms in the air and goes, "That's it! I'm done. I refuse to allow this to go on any longer. Cere, look at him!"

Now Cal is blinking at Cere, thoroughly confused, and still not awake because he spent two days exploring Zeffo on very little sleep, and he needs caf in his system now, please. Cere's smile is poorly hidden by her mug, but there's definitely concern in her eyes. Cal doesn't know how to feel about being able to decipher her expression so easily. They're not that close yet. Whatever it is, must be worse than Greez's theatrics imply.

"What's goin on?" He doesn't stumble into the galley. Not at all. He's graceful. Balanced. BD is absolutely not recording him right now. He glares at the little droid.

He's yanked away from the caf maker by the back of his jumpsuit. Greez bundles him away from his precious galley and towards the now open door of the ship, the ramp pulled down and everything. They must've landed on Voor Sian when he was sleeping.

"Nope! Don't even think about it." Cal grumbles, reaching back. BD-1, the traitor, chitters a binary laugh at him a he scurries to follow. "You can have caf after."

"After what?" Cal whines somewhat pathetically.

After, apparently, he picks out new clothes.

Greez finds the closest store to them on the waystation they've stopped at and all but shoves Cal inside, threatening to withhold both caf and his favorite flavor of nutribars if Cal doesn't pick at least a week's worth of clothes because one jumpsuit is not enough, especially with how much physical activity he's been doing and the mud he's been rolling in and the various bodily fluids he's been splattered with and, well, yeah.

Okay. So. New clothes.

Cool.

Except not really, because Cal stands surrounded by hundreds of fairly decent quality clothes and for some reason he feels like running away.

Or crying.

BD-1 beeps questioningly. It's right next to his ear. Cal should hear it. He even fixed his hearing aids recently, so they're better than ever. But it sounds like he's coming from underwater.

Overwhelmed, he reaches for the sleeve of a nearby shirt and then stops when he catches sight of his hand. Specifically the sight of dirt and traces of blood in the creases and shoved under his nails, streaked on his forearm where the sonic didn't quite reach because he kept his arm wrapped around his chest to brace his sore (and probably cracked) ribs against the vibrations. Cal takes his hand back from the clean shirt and tucks his arm around himself again. This time, it's less of a brace and more of a pathetic excuse for a hug.

The last time he picked out his own clothes, they were second-hand and not at all clean and all that he could get. He tried to buy big so he could grow into them, but he'd been small at twelve. Too small to risk buying something big enough to wear for a couple years before buying not- new clothes. It'd been a hazard.

Before that, his clothes were provided. Sure they could add some embellishments here and there as long as they weren't too showy.

He doesn't know how to choose.

Greez interrupts his spiral, bustling into the building with bags already on his arms. Cal swallows thickly. How long has he been standing here? Long enough for Greez to grab everything from his list, but the latero is very effective when it comes to restocking his kitchen so that it doesn't mean much.

"Find anything you - hey, what gives?"

Cal shrugs helplessly. "I didn't -- " his voice croaks something terrible. He flushes bright red and swallows again, but being caught under Greez's confusion just seems to make everything worse. He wipes the back of his hand against his eyes roughly then tries again. "I didn't know what to pick out."

Greez shrugs. "Start with your favorite color, then go from there."

Favorite color.

Cal glances at a nearby rack of clothes and realizes....he's forgotten what his favorite color is.

Did he ever have a favorite color? Surely he did. Everyone does. But what was his? How could - how could he forget something like a favorite color?

He doesn't notice his breathing getting rough until Greez is already at his side, two hands on his back, one rubbing up and down comfortingly and the other a solid reassurance. Cal wheezes around bruised ribs and tears in his throat and tries not to notice the way the world wavers. BD calls out for someone, something Greez repeats, and Cal's being led off to the side and sat on a stool that is only vaguely uncomfortable. He tries to hunch in on himself, but Greez is too quick to shove him upright.

"You know, I didn't know what busted ribs sounded like before I met you," Greez is saying, his voice tinny. Cal blinks rapidly, mouth working in an attempt to apologize for....freaking out, for the dirty clothes, for exposing Greez to the sound of busted ribs, for everything. "Nope, none of that. Just breathe, kid. We've got all day."

BD cuddles close to his ear and starts sounding off their established pattern. Cal latches into it gratefully, closing his eyes as he follows along. It's in the same cadence as Master Tapal's meditation mantra, the one he always clung to when he struggled on Bracca. He wouldn't let himself actually meditate, but the comfort was always nice. The peace.

Cal loses track of time again. He blinks, and there's a bottle of eater in his hand, cap missing. He blinks again, and half the water is gone. and He blinks again, and the ambient noise from outside is rowdier. He no longer feels like he's going to unravel at the seams, but he's wrung out and feeling raw.

BD bewoops and Greez squeezes his hand where it's held between two of his. Cal takes a sip of water, ignoring the shake in his hand.

"You back us?" Greez asks quietly. Cal nods. "Good. Good. That was a pretty rough one, kid. You wanna tell me what it was about?"

Cal shakes his head, pauses, then nods. He opens his mouth, but the words don't come out at first, a sad little croak of noise. He hurriedly takes another sip of water, then, "I don't know my favorite color," he admits. "I know I had one. I just...don't remember it."

Greez stares at him and -- well, Cal knows he's not going to make fun, but he still squirms in place, averting his eyes.

"That sucks," Greez says bluntly. Cal nearly chokes on his startled laugh. "That's really, truly something awful, Cal. I'm sorry." Now that the mortification of being so overwhelmed is over with, he can turn red in embarrassment over having some sort of attack about a color. Greez sits back thinking for a bit, which is fine with Cal. He keeps breathing and not spiraling. Finally Greez snaps his fingers. "I know! Let's start with your favorite poncho. Find something in that color and go from there. That's a good alternative. Narrow down the selection."

As much as Cal wants to curl up in bed with his headphones blasting at the loudest volume possible, he does need more than one set of clothes, and Greez's idea does sound good. His favorite poncho is blue and grey. There's plenty to choose from without making him want to run.

Greez nods as if he sees the agreement on Cal's face. "Good. And who knows," he adds as he helps Cal stand and kindly ignores his knees buckling, "maybe you'll figure out what your favorite color is. Or get a new one entirely. The possibilities are endless!"

Cal smiles as BD whirls in agreement, suggesting that maybe Cal's favorite colors can be red and white just like his paint job.

[xencthlu]

Welcome to your local Temple of Dibella. One part temple, one part art gallery, one part community art centre, Dibella is as hands-on a goddess as anyone could want. You're going to get your hands dirty.

This is actually an unusual build for me, in that I made it for my specific roleplay character, Sibyl Delphyn Sidile. Most of my public roleplay builds (part of my public roleplay projects!) are generic spaces intended to slot into your roleplay whenever, where ever you need them. This one is a bit more specific.

Pictures again courtesy of the ever-wonderful @princesspurpleblob. We took way more than 30 pictures, so strap in. This is going to be a long one.

I wanted to put a bunch of flowering trees around, but it turns out we only have one of those (the flowering gingko) so I had to settle for just very colourful trees. Gyae said it looks like a Rembrandt. I take that as a win. Be welcome!

This is the temple main hall, for services and sermons and such. I don't do a lot of cobbles, so I was very proud of my altar. Sian suggested going very red for this space, and I was surprised how hard it was to manage that. There's not a lot of red lighting in game?

The back of the room isn't nearly so important, but I didn't want it to be bare, either. I think there's some rich details back here.

Office immediately adjoining the temple, for private meetings and advice. I feel like relationship counseling happens in here.

The smaller of the two clergy bedrooms is attached to the main temple hall. This is for a lesser priest.

Upstairs from the main temple hall is an art gallery. I like to imagine this is filled with the work of people local to the temple, all at varying skill levels, who used the temple's ateliers and donated what they made. I'm most interested in temples as a community institution. We took so many shots in the art gallery, and I just can't include them all if I want to show off every part of the build. I'm already at 19/30 of tumblr's post limit?

Here is the band hall, for the traveling musician, the local flutist, and the hapless beginner. You have a closet on the left there, and then the tailor's workshop in the corner, and the high priestess' bedroom on the right. I like to think local art classes and performances are pinned on that bulletin board.

The arches that are normally where I've put doors are lovely, but I knew I wanted to squeeze as many art ateliers into this build as I could, so I had to hard section off rooms. I'm really proud of how this counter turned out as a workspace.

The High Priestess' bedroom comes with a lovely bay window you can lounge in. I think it was the bay windows that made me need Willowpond in my life, honestly. Those rugs are my favourite in the game.

Did you know writing is an art? So obviously Dibella needs a library.

The study is attached to the hall-library. Princess changed my mind on this room - I thought it was simple, she thought it was elegant. She said it was her favourite room. I've come around to really liking it.

The painter's atelier is, I think, the real star of all the art workshops. I wish I could show all the great shots Princess took in here. This was actually the last part of the build to be finished. I needed furnishings from u46 to polish it off. Look at that muller board in the background! Totally worth it.

On the top floor is the dining hall. There's overhead lights if you need a brighter space to roleplay. They're off by default because Sian thought it looked more romantic this way. You might not be able to tell now, but that corner near the stairs was originally one of my problem spots. I left it empty for the longest time because I wasn't sure what to do with it. It wouldn't be a good space for another seating area. I'm happy with how I fixed it.

Aaaand I hit the post photo limit. I can't show you the kitchen (cooking is ART,) the outdoor seating space with its own altar, the upper floor patio date nook, or the secret ritual room under the waterfall. Damn. I thought I was doing such a good job pacing myself, too. Well, if you're looking for a Dibellan temple to roleplay in, look me up on home tours @xencthlu. If you like what you see, give my build a recommendation so other roleplayers can find it. :) There's even more to see and discover I couldn't show you here.

My only regret is that I don't have the requisite 3 white cats every Temple of Dibella needs. (I'd screenshot my source, but *gestures helplessly at the photo limit.*)

[the-aleator]

endeavour musings xxi

featuring: exeunt iii

Thursday is coded as Cyril Morse: (1) he's associated twice with Horatius, from Lays of Ancient Rome, once in a voice-over and secondly when he quotes it in the beginning of the ep. According to book!canon, "he [Morse's father] could recite all of Macaulay’s Lays of Ancient Rome by heart;" second, Morse pays off his debt; third, he's having heart trouble, which Thursday brushes off with "a turn or something," exactly what Cyril says in Home. (Of course, by the end of the episode, we also see the other Thursdays coded as family for Morse: Sam shares his news, Joan hugs him, Mrs. Thursday gives him a Wed Special)

I'm still trying to understand the ending: I do think this is one of the places where it's supposed to be vaguely ambiguous, but the more you think about it the more it dissolves into a incoherent mush--I think trying to shove BV and a COW and Thursday into 90 minutes was WAY too much. I also think the ending is problematic because: -in order to make this work, we have to totally ignore the fact that 7e3 happened -we have to make the leap that Morse went out to meet Lott but was saved by the deus ex machina Bikers and only then told them about Tomahawk / Lott -- I think if we decide that Morse told them beforehand as insurance, he has actually committed premeditated murder. Which obviously would make him morally culpable than Thursday. And I find the coherence of this ending problematic: either we have Morse be innocent but saved by the narrative, or guilty of conspiring to murder and justified by the narrative. -magically, Morse has re-recovered his idealism from s8e2: then it was Morse insisting that Sian was "nothing to anyone" and Thursday arguing, even as the lone man, she was "something to us," something to "me at any rate." Part of my problem with this is that, up to this point, we have seen Thursday put everything on the line for that principle: up to and including his career, his marriage. How many times has he nearly died for it? Well, half a dozen at least in canon. Except his children -- but I can't believe we're supposed to think that Thursday should let himself or Sam be stabbed to death.

- Thursday arrives at exactly the right time for Sam to still be in the toilets and to nearly be stabbed to death -I do think that the distinction between the actual stabbing and the cover-up needed to be more delineated in the show. One of the big problems I have here is that the cover-up, according to what we're shown or told, is totally unnecessary. Sam was still in the toilet. Are we supposed to think that Thursday is trying to protect his son from...being a witness? From being found out doing drugs?-- altho if he was just a witness (which he is), that would be fairly easy to obfuscate--the episode establishes the Biker gang are very capable of indiscriminate violence. Or are we supposed to think that Thursday is terrified of being arrested for murder? If it's supposed to parallel Neverland, that is. Or Sam being arrested for murder? But again, that assumes that Thursday wouldn't step up and say he did it, which he clearly tells Morse. -the reveal of Raymond Kennett as Peter Williams seems like a plot device to pile on emotional angst but not actually do anything. We couldn't have gotten that Jakes reveal scene??? -I honestly feel like either leaning into this situation: ie, having Thursday cover up that Sam did kill Tomahawk might have worked better? Or just having Thursday die.

-The problem with making the forces of Corruption so powerful and evil in this series that Corruption has totally sealed up BV, and will be able to shut it down again. Driven Thursday out of London 2x -- with the threat of death on his head. And yet, it turns out to be Lott, whose easily dealt with. It just doesn't work for me. And yet another narrative trope I really don't like: the Corruption is so widespead so evil that they can't trust anybody else. Except, we know that's not true in canon (ie DCI MacNutt) so it's just a narrative convenience. -the Conga trauma line that takes place in s9 to make this happen, on top of what has already happened to Thursday in the whole series + and his own traumatic backstory makes this seem totally character-breaking. On the one hand, we have Thursday saying over and over again that he will do anything for his family, but in order to make it believable in the show, so many separate things have to be applying pressure at once it seems a lot like character derailment: he's leaving Morse, he's totally burnt-out, actual trauma of BV where he nearly died being reopened, he's ill, Charlie, Sam, actual murder attempt. -Strange never manages to mention his wife's name or Thursday's (his FIL!) name's ever again. Neither does DeBryn -- even though they have no reason not to. Everyone in canon forget they exist. (Yeah, I'm playing around in a v meta way here, but also I think if you decide to anchor the Thursdays so strongly in canon, you have to expect that!)

-Yeah, he can forgive Violetta actually murdering people but not Thursday defending himself and his family. QED.

[loremori]

Martin Freeman (58/366)

Sherlock 2010–2017

Writer & Creator Mark Gatiss Steven Moffat

*Modernized version of the Conan Doyle characters.

T4.E2 The Lying Detective (2017) Directed Nick Hurran T4.E3 The Final Problem (2017) Directed Benjamin Caron

We need to talk about the elephant in the room. I really hate the last episode of the series. Secret sister? Were Gatiss and Moffat possessed by Marlene King when they wrote the script? Nothing against Sian Brooke, she is a magnificent actress. So if I have to choose an ending it will be the end of the previous chapter. I wish the hug had nothing to do with 'the cheating' part. Only two men finally lower their barriers and try to seek solace for a completely avoidable death. Understand my point: JW failed to protect his wife, attacked his (only) friend, is not able to take care of his daughter, resorts to alcohol, hallucinates his dead wife, and has suicidal thoughts. Was it necessary to also fail in his marriage, when Mary was still alive? I think it's too much for one man. So... They go to celebrate SH's birthday and months later, JW and Rosie, return to 221b Baker Street. End.

**Of course, the cherry on top would be an explicit johnlock's end.

[ross-hollander]

The Inner Sphere, but...

...I have shuffled around the assorted 'hats', and/or invented some for those who didn't really have much of one to start.

The Draconis Combine is a company town that takes up a large chunk of the settled galaxy. In theory, it is governed by the Coordinator, Dragon and Dragon's Child, Praised Upon Ten Billion Tongues, and so on. In practice, it is the megacontractors and corporate empires who exercise day-to-day power. The Coordinator is less a figurehead than a kind of museum piece, carefully preserved in a serene palace to be revered and ignored in equal parts by the business sector who have seized rule. Their armies suffer for this- every invention the state can buy from itself for fantastic sums is, regardless of if it's any good.

The Free Worlds League are fanatically liberated. Their systems are unimpeachable in equity. Every citizen votes, every vote is counted, and the count is ignored in favor of the whim of the Captain-General, who really decides things. Attempts to explain this to your average Leaguer will go totally disregarded. Ballot boxes (or electronic vote-cast booths) are as ubiquitous as water fountains or payphones. Voting is how the common citizen is able to establish democracy, the Eagle, and the Captain-General. Abstaining is literally a crime for most major polls. Blindly following orders is for other states- the will of the people (as declared by the Captain-General) is the only voice a Leaguer will harken to.

The Federated Suns has no official ruler. There is a Steward Prince, but in the faith they keep, there can be no King or Queen of the Suns until such time as they 'achieve' it. The last King was Hanse, but his line is lost to obscurity once more with the ruin of his kingdom. What this means in practice is a culture of competitive governance; Steward Knights and Bannerets seek to create the domain which will win the plaudits to 'achieve the throne'. This ranges from merely ensuring all their citizens have clean water and good food, to launching campaigns to capture stretches of foreign territory for the glory of the Federated Suns.

The Capellan Confederation describe themselves by what was once an insult made against them: "The one who would conquer the Confederation must figure out where it is first." Ever since the first Chancellor swung open the Gate of Welcome on Sian, it has been Confederation law that any planet may count themselves part of the Confederation (with a regular freighter or two of goods dispatched as 'ransom' to earn their place). Thus this power is a loose alliance, fiefs and planetary councils and tin-pot dictators. In wartime, though- well, wartime against people who aren't themselves -outside pressure compresses this loose mass into an indomitable, solid block.

The Lyran Commonwealth is the galaxy's sole font of civility and polish, according to the only reliable history books, which are of course Lyran ones. Under the authority of the Archon, all are protected and cherished subjects of royal benevolence. It is generally considered that if it weren't for the sheer number of planets the early Archons amassed, the Commonwealth would have collapsed ages ago, but with their massive well of resource have a sturdy enough base that they can continue making a problem of themselves. Tradition is their watchword: be it mensur or just the old-fashioned recipes, tradition is the active tense of loyalty to the Archon. And everyone is loyal to the Archon.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Hello Hello~

I noticed that you had a masterlist for AfterL!fe and I wanted to ask for Day with a calm and supportive boyfriend who Day always goes to when he needs to recharge after overexerting himself with all that exercise he does. Please and thank you!

Day - With a Calm & Supportive Boyfriend

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

🍁Maple anon, you have no idea how happy I am that there's another person who remembers this game! The tears of joy that I cried could make a second Lake Ontario. Anywho, it's been a good minute since I thought about this game, but I did my research so I should be able to write Baby Day properly for you! This post is written in the third person~! The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Mona Lisa” by Dominic Fike. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤

❝𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖊 𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉– 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖔 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖐 𝖔𝖋 𝖆𝖓𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖊𝖑𝖘𝖊~❞

. . .

🍫  Sweet Baby Day(‘s) would mesh well with someone calm and supportive! Spontaneous and energetic people like him need a partner who works as their anchor to truly live their lives well. So, like Nine, Day considers his boyfriend to be very close and important to him but in a more romantic way. The cute mint-headed man is a bit slow on the uptake so it might take him a bit to realize he has romantic feelings for someone. However, since his boyfriend is calm and supportive, he's likely also patient and can wait until Day realizes his feelings, which the puppy boy greatly appreciates.

🍫  Because Day's energy is practically endless his boyfriend will have to be used to running around and participating in high-energy activities with him. If the sweet boy notices that his love is getting tired though, he'll insist that they both take a break and do something more calm. He's perfectly fine doing fewer physical activities even if he prefers to move his body, so things like cuddling, playing video/board games, or just listening to his boyfriend read aloud are acceptable for Day.

🍫  After a long day of playi– er… I mean working, receiving a nice bath and massage from his boyfriend is like a blessing for Day. Hell, even just getting a glass of water or sweet lemonade will do him just fine, since his heart squeezes -in the most pleasant way- whenever he's gifted something by his sweetheart. Doing nightly stretches after eating together is one of his favorite things to do before bed; not only does it limber up his joints and loosen his muscles from their tense state after a day of dealing with vengeful spirits, but Day also gets to spend time with his love.

🍫  On the supportive side of things, Day is also incredibly thankful to his beau. His lover lets him freely express himself and lets loose his energy during missions, so long as the mint-haired man knows when to hold himself back. Making sure to rein Day in whenever pushes his body a bit too hard in the heat of the moment and treating all of the injuries that he may have suffered. Also letting him call you whatever cute or funny nicknames he comes up with off the top of his head and cheering him on during and after his practice drills and exercises.

🍫  Most times, it would be Day, his boyfriend, and Nine in a group of three, with the occasional tag-along from Kir, Aitachi, or Sian. The likelihood of the couple spending a lot of time alone is pretty low just due to the puppy-like man's extroverted personality. Day simply loves people and he loves his friends and boyfriend; why hang out with just one when you can hang out with a whole group of people who you cherish? However, the others can read the room quite well and will readily give the pair some alone time to have a cute date every once in a while.

🍫  Speaking of the other members of Noctu; over the time that they've all spent together, they've grown incredibly protective of one another, so you best believe that Day's boyfriend got a full interrogation from each member. They don't play around, okay? They won't tolerate anyone hurting their precious sunshine dog boy. They'll smack a bitch.

. . .

❝𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊– 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖔 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖐 𝖔𝖋 𝖆𝖓𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖊𝖑𝖘𝖊~❞

🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤•♡•🌤

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[camisoledadparis]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … December 2

84 BC – Gaius Valerius Catullus, Roman poet of the 1st century (d: 54 BC); His love poetry was never surpassed in ancient times, and influenced a great many poets, both ancient and modern. Tibullus, Propertius, Horace and Ovid imitated his techniques, and, during the English Renaissance, English poets such as Ben Jonson and Robert Herrick attempted to capture the quality of Catullus (unsuccessfully) in English.

Most of Catullus's poems are short; in a few concise lines he is able to create an experience of love, friendship, or sometimes bitterness and anger either at his mistress (whom he called "Lesbia") or at some person he despised.

Although most of his poems are about heterosexual love, a good number of them are devoted to the love of boys. These are particularly lusty, some of them very funny, and all of them explicitly sexual. (Since many editions of Catullus prudishly omit these poems, and since almost all translations are severely bowdlerized, only one edition in translation is recommended, that by Peter Whigham.)

For example, in a gay rape fantasy Catullus promises to throw his pal Aurelius a beating if he finds out he's toyed with the young boy who he'd been saving for himself:

... you bastard, you're willing to provoke me, Ah, then you'll feel my dire retaliation, feet spread and strapped, back-passage widely gaping, reamed all its length with radishes and *mullets! *mullet - a European fish

In one poem, the poet comes upon a young boy "stuffing his girl." With a wink to Venus, he "stuffs" the boy as "poetic justice." Since Catullus was a contemporary of Caesar, his pederastic poetry is characterized by the basic prejudice of the period: "taking" a boy is a manly act, but allowing another man to do unto you what you did unto him is sheer depravity.

Another of his poems:

This scenario is ridiculous and too funny, Just now I cought my girlfriend's little boy Wanking. If Dione approves, I took him With my hard-straining cock.

We would call this sexual abuse. For the Romans it was different. Assuming the boy Catullus assaulted was a slave, the worst he'd have to do was compensate the slave's owner for property damage.

Catullus also wrote love poems for his male lover Juventius. In Roman society, homosexuality itself was not an object of criticism, only the adult passive/penetrated participant in a homosexual act. We assume that Juventius is the younger, passive partner of Catullus, probably a teenaged boy, who at least in one poem cruelly rejected catullus..

756 – Abu-Nuwas al-Hasan ben Hani Al-Hakami (d.814), best known simply as Abū-Nuwās, was one of the greatest of classical Arabic poets, who also composed in Persian on occasion. Born in the city of Ahvaz, in Persia, where his father was from southern Arabia and his mother was Per-sian. His first teacher was the poet Waliba ibn al-Hubab (died 786), a master who initiated him into the joys of pederasty as well as poetry.

Although in the modern world, the Islamic countries are known as those most hostile to male love, it was not always so. In earlier times in the Moslem lands, famous Iranian and Arab poets such as Hafiz i-Shirazi and Abu Nuwas praised and rued the charms of boys (whom they plied with wine and seduced). Sufi holy men from India to Turkey sought to find Allah by gazing upon the beauty of beardless youths. Storytellers included gay love tales in the Thousand and One Nights. Artists like Riza i-Abbasi amused kings and princes with exquisitely wrought erotic Persian miniatures and calligraphies. Mullahs and censors railed against male love, but men of all walks of life, from Caliphs to porters, delighted in it and all looked forward to being attended by fresh-faced tellaks (masseurs) in the hamam, and "unaging ghilman (youths) as beautiful as pearls" in paradise.

I die of love for him, perfect in every way, Lost in the strains of wafting music. My eyes are fixed upon his delightful body And I do not wonder at his beauty. His waist is a sapling, his face a moon, And loveliness rolls off his rosy cheek I die of love for you, but keep this secret: The tie that binds us is an unbreakable rope. How much time did your creation take, O angel? So what! All I want is to sing your praises.

Originally trained in theology and grammar, Abu-Nuwas gained his great fame as a poet who excelled in lyrical love poetry, in lampoons and satire, and in "mujun" - frivolous and humorous descriptions of indecent or obscene matters. As with many other Islamic poets, he particularly celebrated in his poetry the love of wine - and boys. As one of the earliest Arab poets to write lyrical love poetry about boys, his achievement and influence helped to bring the genre to great heights.

In the Bath-House In the bath-house, the mysteries concealed by trousers Are revealed to you. All becomes radiantly manifest. Feast your eyes without restraint! You see handsome butts and shapely trim chests, You hear the murmuring of pious formulas, One lad to another: "God is Great!" "Praise be to God!" Ah, what a palace of pleasure is the bath-house! Even when the towel-bearers come in And spoil the fun a bit.

The only woman who played an important part in his life was Janan, a slave girl, but, because of his libertine conduct, she never trusted the sincerity of his love. When she asked him to renounce his love of boys, he refused, saying that he was one of the "people of Lot, " with reference to the Arab view that the Biblical Lot was the founder of homosexual love. Abu Nuwas was sexually interested in women or girls only when they looked like boys, but even then he considered their vagina too dangerous a gulf to cross. As he said (symbolically): "I have a pencil which stumbles if I use it on the front of the paper, but which takes great strides on the back." He also wrote about the pleasures of masturbation, which he saw as inferior to the love of boys - but preferable to marriage.

Samoan man, plus size, slightly muscular, sweet and kind looking

1899 – American Samoa is obtained by the United States. It has no law against sodomy, making it the only “free” jurisdiction of the United States.

1943 – Steve Rubell (d.1989) was an American entrepreneur and co-owner of the New York disco Studio 54.

Rubell and his brother Donald grew up in a Jewish family in Brooklyn, New York. His father worked as a postal worker and later became a tennis pro. Rubell was also an avid tennis player, but decided against playing professionally.

Entering Syracuse University, Rubell completed bachelor's and master's degrees in finance. While attending college, Rubell met Ian Schrager, who became a lifelong friend and business partner. Rubell and Schrager were both brothers of the university's chapter of the Sigma Alpha Mu fraternity.

Rubell joined the National Guard, returning to New York after a tour of duty in a military intelligence unit. He worked at a brokerage firm after his return. Rubell then decided to start his own business and opened two Steak Lofts restaurants, one in Queens, New York, and the other in Mystic, Connecticut.

With the help and knowledgeable influence of disco promoter Billy Amato (Smith), executive vice president 20th Century-Fox Records, Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager were introduced to the dance and disco market in early 1975 by John Addison of La Jardin. Rubell and Schrager opened two clubs, one in Boston with John Addison from La Jardin, the other, called The Enchanted Garden, in Queens in 1975, which later became Douglaston Manor. In April 1977, they opened Studio 54 in the old CBS Studio on West 54th Street that the network was selling. Rubell became a familiar face in front of the building, turning people away and only allowing entry to those who met his pedantic standards. Rubell also dealt with the club's celebrity patrons, ensuring that they were thrown lavish parties. His approach worked and the club made $7 million during its first year.

In December 1978, Studio 54 was raided after Rubell was quoted as saying that only the Mafia made more money than the club brought in. In June 1979, Rubell and Schrager were charged with tax evasion, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy for reportedly skimming nearly $2.5 million in unreported income from the club's receipts, in a system Rubell called "cash-in, cash-out and skim." Police reports state that cash and receipts were in the building and were hidden in the ceiling sections of Rubell's office, where both he and Schrager worked. A second raid occurred in December 1979. The pair hired Roy Cohn to defend them, but on January 18, 1980, they were sentenced to three and a half years in prison and a $20,000 fine each for the tax evasion charge. On February 4, 1980, Rubell and Schrager went to prison and Studio 54 was sold in November of that year for $4.75 million. On April 17, 1981, Rubell and Schrager were released from prison after which they lived at a halfway house for two-and-a-half months.

In 1985, Rubell, who was closeted for most of his life, discovered he had contracted HIV which later progressed to AIDS. He began taking AZT, but his illness was furthered by his continued drug use and drinking, which affected his compromised immune system. A few weeks before his death, Rubell checked into Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City under an assumed name, to seek treatment for severe peptic ulcers, kidney failure, and hepatitis. He died there on July 25, 1989. Rubell's official cause of death is listed as hepatitis and septic shock complicated by AIDS.

1946 – Gianni Versace, Italian fashion designer born (d. 1997); Italian designer of both clothing and theater costumes. He was influenced by Andy Warhol, Ancient Roman and Greek art, as well as modern abstract art; he is considered one of the most colorful and talented designers of the late 20th century.

Gianni Versace met Antonio D'Amico, a model, in 1982. The couple embarked on a long-term relationship that lasted 15 years, until Versace's untimely death. During that time Antonio worked as designer for the Versace sports line. Versace's will left his male partner D'Amico with a pension of 50 million lire (about $26,000) a month (for life), and the right to live in any of Versace's homes in Italy and the United States. D'Amico now runs his own fashion design company.

One July morning in the summer of 1997, returning from his customary walk on Ocean Drive, Versace was gunned down outside his ocean-front mansion in Miami Beach. He was murdered by spree killer Andrew Cunanan, who committed suicide shortly after the murder. Versace was buried in Lake Como, Italy.

1976 – Erik Everhard is the stage name of Mitchell Hartwell, a Canadian pornographic actor and director, known for gonzo pornography films (porn's version of "reality" tv).

Everhard is a Canadian national of Ukrainian ancestry. In 1995, he moved to Vancouver, British Columbia to attend university, at which time he made his first forays into adult films. Everhard's adult film career began in Canada performing for websites. At the urging of friends and colleagues, he moved to Los Angeles in 1999 to pursue his career. His first shoot in the United States was for director Jules Jordan.

After securing himself as a performer, Everhard began directing videos for Anabolic and Diabolic Video in 2001. In 2003, he landed a distribution deal with Redlight District. In 2005, Everhard left Redlight, suing the company for breach of contract. He won the suit. He was then hired by Evil Angel Video. After shooting several films with Evil Angel, Everhard returned to work with Jules Jordan.

Everhard performed in about 2,400 films in his pornographic career.

1980 – Ricky Godinez, known by his stage name Ricky Rebel, is an American singer-songwriter, dancer, musician, and recording artist. Politically, Rebel is known for at once being pro-Donald Trump and advocating for LGBT rights.

Rebel was born in Upland, California. He began training as a gymnast at the age of 7 years old, and ranked 15th in the state of California at the age of 11. Rebel began training in classical ballet and jazz dance styles around the age of 11. Rebel immediately entered dance competitions at the regional and national level. After some years of competitive dancing Rebel then began acting, and performed in musicals like Annie (1991), Oliver! (1992) and Phantom (1994).

In 1996, Rebel started working with the band No Authority as their lead vocalist. Since 2010 Rebel has been performing as a solo artist Ricky Rebel.

As part of his commitment to advancing gay rights in the United States Rebel performed at the 2014, 2015, and 2016 "Out at the Fair" festivals at The San Diego County Fair. Rebel also performed at Gay Pride festivals in major cities like Phoenix, Long Beach, Orange County, Palm Springs, San Diego, and Las Vegas. Also, in 2015 Rebel performed at Matinee festivals in Las Vegas and San Diego.At the 61st Annual Grammy Awards Rebel wore a pro-Donald Trump jacket. He stated, "I'm reflecting millions of Americans out there who voted for Trump. Keep America great. That's right, baby. We are here. We're here all around the world, 50 million of us. My name is Ricky Rebel and I'm a reflection of America."

Rebel has since attempted to appear with political commentator and public speaker Milo Yiannopoulos at a concert in Honolulu but the event was cancelled by the venue when they learned of Milo Yiannopoulus's controversial statements and alleged pedophilia advocacy.

1992 – Cason Crane is an American mountain climber. In 2013, he became the first openly gay mountaineer to scale the Seven Summits.

Crane is the oldest of five children born to David W. Crane, the president of NRG Energy, and Isabella de la Houssaye, an international lawyer, in Mercer County, New Jersey. He lived in Hong Kong between the ages of one and six before returning to Lawrenceville, New Jersey. His younger brother Oliver Crane is an American adventurer and rower.

Crane attended Princeton Day School through his eighth grade year, along with the rest of his siblings. In 2011, he graduated from Choate Rosemary Hall, a private boarding school in Connecticut, where he competed in a number of sports. He came out as gay at the age of 14; both his parents and his school were supportive, although he experienced bullying by classmates on occasion. After deferring for two years to travel to Lebanon and Israel and climb the Seven Summits, Crane joined the Princeton University Class of 2017, majoring in history.

Crane summited his first mountain, Mount Kilimanjaro, as a 15-year-old freshman in high school with his mother. He described it as a "gateway mountain" which piqued his interest in mountaineering. As a junior, following the suicides of Tyler Clementi and one of Crane's friends, he was inspired to raise awareness about suicide among LGBT youth through mountain climbing. This led him to start the Rainbow Summits Project, with the goal of climbing the Seven Summits—the highest mountains of each continent—in order to raise funds and awareness for the Trevor Project.

By the beginning of 2013, a year after starting the Rainbow Summits Project, Crane had successfully climbed five of the Seven Summits: Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Mount Elbrus in Russia, Cerro Aconcagua in Argentina, Carstensz Pyramid in Indonesia and Vinson Massif in Antarctica. In May 2013, he reached the summit of Mount Everest in Nepal, guided by New Zealand climber Lydia Bradey, the first woman to summit Everest without using supplemental oxygen. Crane's successful ascent of Mount McKinley in July 2013 at the age of 20 marked his completion of the Seven Summits, making him the first openly gay man to have done so. By the completion of the project, Crane had raised US$135,000 for the Trevor Project.

2013 – This is the first official day that LGBTQ couples in Hawaii, both residents as well as tourists, may marry in the Aloha State

[ovenstavern]

oh. my. goodness. its like 3am in my area and i just finished a nightlong binge on the manhwa, Secret Alliance by Creator Lero. if i had to put it into a genre, i’d say its a psychological thriller, and…

ho. ly. shit.

i was never a visual novel or “comics” person, but holy fuck. this blew me away. i discovered a tik tok about it, with the nutshell plot of “stalker crossdresses as a girl to stalk his object of attraction, who is afraid of men” and quickly gained an interest. but as i read further into the manhwa, it was so much more than that.

before i get into the details, i warn that the manhwa has dark topics such as stalking, obsession, attempted suicide, assault, sexual harassment, and trauma. the ramble (and spoilers) is gonna be below the cut. stay safe and healthy yall

okay. ho. ly. shit.

so, i don’t even know where to begin. the first few chapters introduce our main characters, eun sian and chae “yuri”. right off the bat, you quickly realize eun sian’s intense fear of men. you can already tell that she has some trauma with men, and as you continue to read, you find that her paranoid mother perpetuates and reinforces that fear; a helicopter parent to the extreme.

not only that, you can immediately detect that something isnt quite right with chae yuri (even before it was revealed he was a guy).

i dont really wanna explain the whole story in its entirety, as i believe its a story best experienced. but what i will go into is the amount of love that was poured into this story. it still astounds me

the characters are complex, and their personalities and actions are deeply rooted in the trauma that they went through. eun sian and chae yuri’s relationship is so toxic and wrought with manipulation and co-dependent, and it was written so well. it beautifully illustrates how two people that come from two different, but toxic households often can find themselves in a toxic relationship for the both of them, as they have no other reference for love.

and speaking of relationships, yujin’s and eun sian’s relationship makes me want to squeal and giggle and they’re just so cute!! i loveee at the beginning, yujin subverts our expectations and ends up being a playboy who loves the feeling of being wanted. it gives him sm room for development, and makes his relationship with eun sian so much sweeter.

yujin and eun sian make a deal that he helps her get over her fear of men, while eun sian helps yunjin get together with chae yuri. in the earliest stages of their relationship, you can tell that yujin was able to ground eun sian and reassure her when needed. even beneath his playboy exterior, his caring nature shone through, especially for her. meanwhile, eun sian makes yujin want to be better for her (and if you seen a very old post, you know how i feel about that). i loved their friendship at the beginning, and i loved their romance at the end. they’re so healthy for each other and im glad they got together in the end

and speaking of the ending?????? sjdkdndkddjjdksjdsknsnz. i loved it so. much. it was just so fulfilling. i won’t spoil it, but it touched my soul to its very core, and i couldnt think of a more satisfying note to leave it off of.

the depiction of trauma felt very realistic and well written too. eun sian’s breakdowns felt so well done, and not once did it feel like the story was calling her “crazy” or “hysterical” even if other characters told her that she was. and actually, all the relationships felt so realistic, its astounding.

and the character development was so… empowering. it was amazing to watch the moments eun sian take back the parts of herself that her abusers took, it was amazing to watch yujin transform from a playboy to a golden retriever boyfriend. i just… love love love!!

i do wish they delved into yujin’s backstory a lil more, gave hyunee (the best friend) a more influential role, and did some more with yunjin’s blackmail when he found out about chae yuri, but all in all, i loved it. i started reading at 11, and kept reading til 3. its an absolute page turner, and extreme kudos to the artist(s) and writer(s)! you have my respect

to those who want to read it, the sites i read the manhwa either has a subscription service, or an insane amount of porn ads and porn pop up browser tabs. just for viewer discretion. if it sounds like yall can deal, please read! you won’t regret it. ill definitely be revisiting this manhwa again and again. its that good

have a wonderful day yall! im finally gonna get some sleep

[dearyuls]

#. > 0 | 1 | 2 <

CHAPTER TWO.

> please read the prologue (0), for content warnings.

Yul couldn't believe how well it went! He hadn't done anything strange or creepy and was able to sort out everything for the job, which he would be doing tomorrow – it was a little soon but, Yul wasn't going to turn down his first opportunity to make money, since he has no other ways anymore, but it was better that he didn't rely on his parents anymore, he didn't want anything to do with them. Plus, he didn't have anything better to do with his time, and when he had nothing to do, it was difficult for his mind to not end up wandering, and he couldn't just spend his time trying to sleep it off.

He'd pulled his hood back up, stuffing his hands into his pocket as he made his way home, he definitely deserved a smoke after holding it together like that.

He could hear the faint voices of people talking in front of him, but he paid it no attention, he didn't even look up, all he wanted to do was make sure he didn't end up talking to anyone.

His instincts to fight struck as soon as he felt somebody grab him, his hand balling into a fist, ready to push whoever it was away from him – until he looked down at the girl, and then the man she was with..had she just called him her boyfriend?

Being assumed as a man was nice for him, due to his facial features, most people assumed him to be a tomboy...it was a good feeling.

Yul evaluated what was going on for a second before deciding to go along with it, he knew firsthand how bad harassment could end up being, it would be nice if he could at least help, he didn't help strangers very much, he was ever so selfish, all of the time, but since you had pulled him in, he supposed he would do what he could.

...Damn, he was persistent, he didn't even give up after the girl grabbed him...he almost winced at how hard she was grabbing his arm...he thought she must be really scared....he remembered how he felt that time in school...he wasn't in a position to stand up for himself then, but he was now. It wasn't even about the girl for him.. it more felt like he was doing it for him in the past.

He only held the knife with him in the case anyone was to recognise him and bring any harm to him, and he knows that since he looks feminine, he is likely to be at the brunt of male harassment too...the latter was closer to the situation at hand, so, he was pretty lucky.

His eyes had darkened as he watched the man shrink back....oh, it felt good. He felt adrenaline.

After watching him walk away, he looked down at you for the first time, he hadn't even bothered to check who had grabbed him before deciding to step in, it wasn't as if he had any friends here, so he doubts checking who you were would've actually changed anything, and when he did. Fuck. He recognised you immediately.

You were that girl from before...in the photo he took.

You were grabbing onto him...so close to him.

He couldn't believe it; you had somehow found a way back to him...did this mean something? You had grabbed him, not somebody else...did that mean you thought he would be able to protect you? Did you think of him as more than a man than that scum?

Yul was getting too ahead of himself, he shook his head, he didn't know you, you were just some nice-looking girl he saw, and happened to bump into twice, there was no need for him to start thinking anything strange. You'd definitely just thank him and be on your way and never see him again. He wasn't even in the mindset to be interested in anyone again! He hadn't stopped thinking of Sian fully yet, and then on top of that he was completely unstable, he hadn't changed at all, despite trying his best.

He was stuck in a tangent in his head before you started to speak, he'd never heard your voice the first time but... he thought it was cute, you were apologising to him. It had been quite a while since he'd heard an apology from anybody, he didn't feel like he deserved one, even if you had cause him any bother, stopping someone from being possibly assaulted wasn't something he would've actively avoided.

You'd even invited him to your work so casually...you didn't even know who he was...so why were you doing that...had you really felt so bad about it? He was no better than that man for what he'd done in the past, he didn't deserve to be treated so kindly.

He was unsure what came over him when he offered to walk you home, why would you let some strange man that you didn't know do that? He remembers distantly in the past he specifically stated not to do so... to make it even worse he stumbled on his words in the worst way possible, and he said it so casually as well.

He seriously wanted to drop dead in that moment.

He had no problems with stalking in the past, it was rather normal to him, but he wasn't a stalker anymore, he didn't want you to go thinking he was one then somehow figuring out who he was! He needed to fix his mistake... you probably thought he was a weirdo now! He panicked internally, this was the one thing he didn't want to do, this is why he avoided people, he knew something like this would end up happening—

As soon as he scrambled out an apology for what he said, you.... Laughed?

You hadn't found fault in what he'd said, you weren't stepping away in fear.. he was surprised, really surprised.

His eyes were wide as he stared at your face, just listening to you.

You had a really warm laugh, it felt welcoming and soft.

He wasn't really even sure what you said afterwards, he hadn't fully been paying attention, he felt like he had been put into a trance, by a siren or something of the sorts, and before he could recognise it, you were already walking away from him, and all he could do was stare at your back, until he could no longer see you.

Yul didn't follow you; he was kind of tempted, only to make sure you made it home safe of course, he had no ulterior motives...but. He had something more important to take care of.

Yul walked down the path going the opposite direction to you, fast and quiet, he didn't want attention to be drawn to him..and he didn't want to get himself caught.

In complete silence, he caught up to that creep from before, but instead of making himself known, he just stayed following him, a few paces away, nobody else was out in the area, so it wasn't like someone would bring alert to him.

After a few minutes, Yul finally saw his opportunity, he smirked, watching the man turn to walk down a barely lit alleyway, away from the public eye, Yul increased the volume of his footfall, wanting his presence to be made aware of.

The creep turned around, his movements were rough, and he looked down at Yul, who was glaring up at him, his pupils dilated.

He stepped away; Yul stepped closer.

" Did you really think I'd let scum like you get away ,huh? " His voice was deeper than when he had first spoken, he was now trying to be scary, or pose as some kind of threat. It didn't seem to bother the guy though.

" I left your girl alone man, whaddya want from me? " He had a sour expression on his face, and was clearly hostile. Was he stupid? Yul had already heard him threaten that he wasn't done with you, he didn't want this man to bring harm to such a warm person...something in him couldn't allow that...Sian used to be warm. Then she turned cold. It was all that assholes fault.

This creep reminded Yul of him...his mouth twisted into a deranged smile; he couldn't control the raging emotions inside of him. Scum like this shouldn't even be allowed to live--- you didn't even like this man, he had the full right to do whatever he pleased!

" You were going to do something to her right? " Yul chuckled, pulling the taser out from his back pocket, and within seconds, the man was writhing on the floor. Yul walked over him, looking down at him with his legs on either side.

Hm? The man hadn't passed out, but he wasn't' moving very much..perhaps the voltage hadn't been raised high enough. Whatever...more fun for him at least.

" You fucking—" Yul kicked the man in the face, blood dripping out from him nose.

" Go on, finish what you were gonna say. " He glared at him, his voice taunting as he stayed stood over him, he wasn't going to purposefully get closer to this man than necessary, He couldn't explain why there was so much anger flooding through him, it felt like his blood was passing through his body in raging tidal waves and he couldn't stop it from overflowing.

He kicked the man again, this time his stomach, making him keel over, grabbing at the now bruised skin to protect it.

Yul could just keep beating the guy up..but he didn't want this stain on the earth any longer...all people like this shouldn't be given the gift of existing, Yul was a firm believer in that fact, he would just be doing everybody a favour by doing this..not just you.

If only he hadn't cared what she thought of him...he would've been able to kill that bastard before, but, at least he could take his anger out on this creep.

He put his taser away and slid the knife back out from the inside of his sleeve, grabbing the handle and spinning the knife around in his hand.

Yul's eyes quickly focused on how the mans throat tensed up as his mouth opened..he was about to scream..! Yul couldn't have himself being caught, he needed to do this and run.

Before he could think Yul's foot was smashed down onto his throat, restricting his flow of air, making sure he wasn't caught.

He put his weight down on him, hearing a gargled choke for air come from him, he moved his foot around a bit to torment him, crushing his windpipe.

" Don't think you'll get saved so quickly--- did any women ever get the chance to scream when you got your hands on them, freak? " Yul patronised him; he didn't know whether his accusations were actually on the point or not but, he didn't care, there was no way he just randomly woke up like this, Yul was justified! It was okay for him to do this.

" I'm going to kill you. " He stated, stepping away from the mans throat, hearing rushed intakes of air... Yul missed the feeling he got when he was in control of someone's life...such a dark, bloodied feeling...but it made him feel so good..! he could go insane! The thrill of it, it just made him so excited!

He had just taken a big step back from his progress, but he didn't even care. He wasn't getting far anyway...these feelings are okay once in a while, right? He can't just completely let himself be depraved of it.

His grin intensified, his eyes drilling holes into the man as he dropped to his knees on top of him, stabbing the knife in and out of him mercilessly.

He'd needed this...ever since that day..he needed this!

He laughed to himself, cruelly, as he drove the knife into the man's chest, blood splattering all over him, he didn't care, this wasn't his favourite outfit anyway, he could just incinerate it.

He didn't just stop there, he stabbed the man in the abdomen, multiple times, then in his throat, just to make sure he was definitely dead, and without thinking he scooped the mans eyes out, they were already closed, he had definitely died quickly with how many vitals Yul had stabbed, there weren't even any tears streaming down his face like a most people have when they feel pain.

It was a bit of a struggle pulling them out since they were pretty well connected, but he managed to do it anyway, he had probably seen so many nasty things with those eyes, even in death he didn't deserve to keep them.

Yul stood back up now, admiring the deceased body, that he'd just killed, he didn't even remember stabbing him that many times...but, he was scum. He deserved it.

Yul wiped the smudge of blood on his cheek on his sleeve, he was lucky he was wearing black, and that it had grown dark, so nobody would be out, and nobody would be checking down this alley anytime soon, he pulled his hood which had fallen down back up over his head to disguise himself and he walked back home, like nothing had even happened – he didn't feel bad at all for what he'd just done, he was just imagining the man was blonde, and that he had long hair, and it felt so good to finally get that out, better than any stupid therapy session he'd tried to go to.

His urges needed to be satisfied, and if he didn't have any love to obsess over, violence would certainly do the trick as well.

On your walk home, you'd called Iseul, she was very worried about you and insisted on keeping the call going even an hour after you'd arrived home, you'd locked the door, locked your windows, and made sure you kept a baseball bat next to your bed in case you needed to attack when you woke up – perhaps you were overly worried about the situation, but better safe than sorry!

You'd told your boss as well, and he'd sent you a few messages in concern.

Shin

Are you doing okay, did anything happen to you?

Shin

You can take the day off tomorrow if you're not feeling safe to go outside.

Shin

Would you like me to come over to your house?

You replied to him letting him know you were okay with coming in tomorrow, you were okay, and that he didn't need to waste his time coming over, he'd have to be up early the next day, so you didn't want to waste any of his time, when, you felt weirdly safe. Although he was often dry when he messaged you, he really did care for you, he got like this whenever you were sick as well – you were grateful that you had a boss that was so nice, even though you reassured him you were certain he would stay up worrying about it, that's just the kind of person he was, the kind of person anyone would be lucky to have in their life you thought.

Thinking of that creep, you couldn't believe that had really happened, you weren't one to draw attention to yourself, but you still managed to have a creep loitering after you.. what horrible people. You were so glad that you'd found a sweet guy to protect you...he did look sort of shaken up after what happened, he was staring at you, he must've been scared, you thought, you really did feel bad for the guy...Yul wasn't it? What a nice name.

You hoped he'd stop by your work so you could thank him properly, you were still terrified, so you couldn't properly show your gratitude in the moment..,which was understandable, but still! It didn't feel right, especially when he'd instilled such a safe feeling inside of you, talking to him had made you almost forgot what had just happened, he was soothing. You really wanted to see him again. He was pretty cute when he messed up his wordings and his face got all red. You snickered to yourself as you thought about that turn of events.

Returning home, all you really wanted to do was sleep, you were too stressed to stay up and watch a show you liked, you knew every sound you heard around you would make you paranoid, so the best thing you could do would be to try and sleep it off, you didn't think that man would end up following you home after he'd already walked so far in the opposite direction, and you were pretty sure your apartment had CCTV as well, you'd be alright..

You hugged one of the plushies on your bed close to your chest, pretending it was a real person as you managed to drift off to sleep.

Tomorrow would be another long day you supposed.

--

Upon your arrival at work today, you almost died of shock, Shin ran over and hugged you, when you came in, asking if you were sure you were in condition to work and patting you down to see if you were alright and if you had any injuries you hadn't told him about. – even if you did have some it wasn't necessarily his business, you thought.

" I'm telling you I'm okay! Seriously don't worry about it! " You tried to calm him down, he wasn't a very affectionate man, so it was kind of strange feeling his arms around you, his hair kind of tickled when it hit your skin, you were jealous of how much of it he had.

" As your boss, I should've been able to de-escalate the situation for you, next time something like this happens, I won't let it stand. " He pulled back from the hug, holding your shoulders tightly as he looked into your eyes, with his usual serious gaze.

You smiled. " Thanks for the concern, really. " You spoke quietly, gratitude seeping through, you did appreciate his kindness.

" You're my friend, obviously I'd be concerned. " He replied, still holding you by your shoulders, you lightly pushed him off, he really wasn't a touchy person, so it just felt strange. Even stranger he referred to you as a friend, he wasn't really one to point out such relationships either.. he really did turn soft when he was worried.

" Now, get back to the kitchen, I think I smell burning. " You found sincere moments grew awkward when you let them linger for too long, so you broke the mood with a joke, not wanting him to start telling you how he planned to protect you whilst you were trying to setup the bakery.

" Say anything more and I'll start thinking you're the boss. " He took the hint, jostling back with you.

Today was full of surprises it seems; he was never really a joker.

" Please call me if anyone bothers you today. " You nodded, and he went back to his work in the kitchen..something in there smelt really good today, you'd have to try and figure out what it was.

Then, Iseul rushed in, practically mirroring Shins movements with you...too many hugs today for your liking.

" Are you suuure you're still free tonight? I don't wanna push you past your limits if you don't feel safe going with me! I mean, I'd like, totally understand if you'd rather stay at home after such a traumatic night! " She spoke frantically, worry was evident in her words as she looked you up and down, like you were about to just drop dead infront of her.

" Why is everybody so worried..? I'm okay Ise, If you're still free then I'm still free. " You smiled at her, but, she her face hadn't changed.

" Seriously. " You added on in the most honest tone you could muster.

" Okay..but, if you ever feel uncomfortable at any point, we can go home! " She persisted and you nodded, with a sigh.

People showing so much care for you made you pretty uncomfortable if you were honest, you just kind of expected to go through your life without concerning anyone, and somehow you had managed to worm your way into their hearts without even trying, you had no idea how you did it.

She then proceeded to tell you about her own evening after you hung up the call and how she couldn't sleep because she was so worried she just had to see you and make sure you were actually fine – it was kind of endearing to watch her ramble about you, but, again you felt bad about invoking such things, like maybe her day would've been better if she didn't know you at all..people can be so stressful and confusing sometimes.

Afterwards she ran to the kitchen, and you could kind of overhear her talking to Shin, but you weren't sure what about, you couldn't hear them properly, with the most of your attention being about, well, doing your job.

Tuning people out of your head was something you often did growing up; it was an easy skill for you now. .

Standing behind the counter, of the now opened bakery, you tapped at the counter, waiting for customers to come in, and praying to yourself nothing bad would happen this time, you still wondered if that guy would be coming back..perhaps he'd just ignore your invite, you probably wouldn't go to some random girls work if she invited you there either, but it's not often you speak to unknown people to begin with.

Thankfully, halfway through your shift nothing bad had happened yet, you were on your lunch break, sitting in the lounge room with all the other employees, the shop temporarily shut.

You were eating some of the snacks you'd brought in your bag, eating actual food in front of people was something else you weren't a huge fan of, so you just stuck to small things which wouldn't take too long, you were quiet, and so was Iseul, who was sat next to you, until you heard a loud gasp from her, looking over, she shoved her phone in your face..at maximum brightness as well. Squinting, your eyes adjusted to the bright screen as you took in what she was showing you.

A dead body had been found this morning by a local jogger – in some random alley, apparently it had been brutal....could that have been you? Your eyes widened slightly, if you had been forced to go anywhere with him...was that what he planned to do to you? Was he still out there waiting for you? You may have been uncaring about many things but, that didn't mean you just wanted to die like this.

" Can you believe it? That's only like ten minutes away from here! That's suuper scary don't you think?? " Her voice was loud, and picked up the attention of your other co-workers.

" Yeah..I saw the victim was a guy, a big one as well, that's even worse...can you imagine how strong the person who killed him must've been? " a girl from the other side of the room gossiped back with her, and Iseul replied back, leaning forward, with interest.

Oh? Wait what if...? No, no, the man who saved you wasn't really defined as big you wouldn't think..but, if it was the creep then, you could possibly see him waiting and killing Yul since he couldn't have you...and your heart was racing..you didn't want to be the reason some sweet guy died! That would be on your conscience forever!

" They don't even know anything about the killer, other than they were wearing black! They aren't sure whether it's a guy or a girl... " ....that means it couldn't have been the creep. He wasn't wearing black....You were still concerned but, at least that meant your involvement was minimal.

The conversation continued, and you lost track of it, despite Iseul originally starting it with you, you weren't really a big fan of gossiping, so you just sunk down into your seat and pretended like you weren't there.

The conversation continued until Shin coughed, saying that maybe it wasn't an appropriate thing to talk about at the workplace, and so everyone and so you fell into silence.

At the end of your shift, you walked out of the doors with Iseuls arm draped around your shoulder.

" I'll come pick you up in two hours, so get ready! But if you change your mind about it at any point, tell me! I seriously won't be upset at you, I promise! "

She reassured you again, to which you told her you were definitely okay – it was good to go out once in a while, and since it would be your day off tomorrow, with it being a Sunday, it didn't matter if you slept in really late due to tiredness.

You made it home without a hitch, nothing bad had came your way this time, so you considered yourself lucky again, and now you needed to get out of work mode, and get into hanging out mode.

You kept the same outfit on, you weren't even sure where you'd be going, so you didn't see it fit to change, when your outfit was already cute enough, and you didn't want to go outside reeking of pizazz.

The time passed without you even realising it, you couldn't really recall what you'd been up to before hearing the ringing of your doorbell, and you walked over to answer it.

Your friend stood there, with her hair pinned up into two ponytails, it was a nice dark red, kind of like blood—a bit of a weird comparison, but you couldn't name many red things, and inside of the ponytails were braids, it was a pretty style on her..you'd kept yours down, because keeping it up just ends up being annoying, and it takes effort to actually style it, and you didn't really care about the gaze of other people enough to try and appear better to them.

She wore a one-piece black dress, with a leopard print jacket over it, she also wore heels to make herself taller, which she didn't even really need, she was already 5'6,

" You didn't even dress up! Ahh you're sooo borinnggg!" She complained, stomping her feet a little, like a child, you laughed dryly. " Well, you never said what we're doing...and, you know I don't like to dress up, unless it's alone in my room, to myself. " You replied, stepping out of your house and locking the door...you were pretty sure you locked the windows as well; you hoped you did.

Guilt was hard to ignore when it felt so present, you enjoyed spending time with her, and, it was nice that you had a work friend who actually wanted to hang out with you when the two of you were out of work, but, you were already thinking about coming back home and going to bed, that probably meant you were a bad friend...but you didn't mind.

" Didn't I? Weelll...You're really gonna stick out dressed like that..we're going to party girl! " She grabbed you by the hand and started to walk with you, and you walked slightly behind her, judging by her attire you'd be going to a bar or a club...ugh.

..Maybe ugh was a bit too judgmental, you hadn't actually been to one before, so you shouldn't act so snobbish about it, although you were pretty certain it wasn't your type of scene.

" Y'know, you always seem so lonely, I wanna make you some friends! Orrrr something more if you're lucky! " You grimaced as Iseul looked back at you laughed..you definitely weren't going to enjoy this night out...you could just hope it wouldn't be awful,

" I don't really need any of that though..I'm happy with how my life is now, lonely and

all. " , it seemed like she just couldn't understand that the quiet life was ideal for some people, like you.

" Your only friends are me and your boss! Come onnn try and socialise juuust once...for me? " You hated that she was talking to you like she was talking to a toddler, but you bit your lip and focused out, listening to the clacking of her heels on the floor as she dragged you by the hand, you noticed she now had some bright red fake nails on her, they were nice, they suited her personality, vibrant and in your face.

The music violated your ears as you closed in on where Iseul had taken you...great. A crowded club full of drunk people, just where you wanted to go after a long day of work.....you knew that Iseul frequented places like this, but she usually invited other friends, seeing her post about it on social media, you rarely posted yourself, but if you did it was because you saw a cute cat on the street or saw a pretty looking cloud or something stupid like that. This was the first time she'd invited you to with her.

You thought the two of you may have looked like a couple, with you gripping at her hand harder, you hadn't realised how nervous you were, gritting your teeth as you could hear her talking to some guy outside, and then the two of you walked inside, yet again you hadn't been paying well enough attention to what was going on, too busy trying to convince yourself that the time would pass quickly and that you wouldn't end up dying here...

" I'm gonna go grab us drinks! " Iseul turned to you, yelling at you over the music, and you covered your eyes, nodding, staying on the spot as your watched as your friend was able to weave in and out of the crowds with ease, as you stood motionless, not even moving to the music.

People bashed into you and stepped on your feet, and you just stood and stumbled and tried to get yourself out of the way of the people in the room with you, your eyes scanned the room as you looked for her, but, you had no idea where she was getting drinks from, or how long she'd take, so for now you were alone.

Clutching the strap of your bag tightly as a support helped give you something to focus on, it felt like your senses were being assaulted, there was a reason you didn't come here.

Five minutes had passed, and Iseul hadn't came back yet, you'd started to look around for her, mumbling quiet " Excuse Me"s to people as you sifted through them, and now you couldn't see where you'd came in from which made you even more stressed! Your palms were growing clammy, and you could feel every strand of your hair and hear every single breath you took – it was getting uncomfortable alright, but now you couldn't tell your friend you wanted to leave, since she'd seemingly disappeared somewhere.

The music seemed to grow louder the longer you were there, voices merged into each other as people were yelling across the club, all of them were dressed the same, you were really sticking out, this was the antithesis of a good time for you.

It felt as if the room was spinning around you, as the loud pop song felt like it was making the floors vibrate, or maybe they were vibrating? You weren't sure. At least you'd worn basic trainers so it was easier for you to walk around...your aim was to find a bathroom and go and text Iseul, but, the flashing lights around you made it impossible for you to see if there was a sign for the bathroom, and, walking in and out of people didn't seem like the best idea, especially when it felt like your chest was closing in on itself, you really wanted her to come back, it was becoming suffocating inside. The room just seemed to get smaller, and denser, it felt like everyone inside was purposefully intruding your personal space...you were pretty sure somebody just grabbed your arm, you yanked it away and kept looking, there was still no sign of her..

A couple more minutes passed and now you were getting anxious. What if something had happened to her and you were here panicking about yourself?

You had to try and look for her more...you walked around, eyes darting in every direction, compared to you, sure she stood out, but in a room full of people the exact same...it was too hard. You didn't like it.

You'd only came to this place because she told you to, and then she has the nerve to leave you on your own...how terrible...next time she asked you out you'd definitely tell her you were sick, as payback.

A headache was starting to come up, and you reached a hand up to hold your head, looking around, you swore everyone in the room was staring at you, they had to be, you were hyperventilating... you needed to get outside so badly, you were pushed and shoved around as you were trying to find anywhere that wasn't here to go and try to recollect yourself, hands were over you, or maybe you were imagining it... looking around again you finally found some form of security, there was a set of stairs, there had to be less people upstairs right?

Without a second thought you ran up the stairs, it really felt like you were about to pass out, you didn't feel right at all...had someone drugged you without you realising, even though you didn't drink anything yet since Iseul hadn't come back..what If there was a new way of drugging that you didn't know about! Anxiety filled you as you stumbled up the stairs, holding onto the handrail. There were a few people upstairs but far less, since the music was quieter and there was no atmosphere...you could presume everybody huddled up here were people like you who were dragged along by their friends.

Up here there was a lot of seating, where people could just sit and drink, and a restroom, as well as a large balcony. You figured that was your best shot, some fresh air was really needed, especially knowing you'd have to brave the downstairs area again in order to get out..unless you could jump off of the balcony! You weren't too fond of breaking your own legs though...so that was probably out of the question for you.

Shakily walking out onto the balcony, you took a seat on the floor, there weren't any seats out here...you guessed people just came to smoke and then leave.

You pulled your knees up to your chest, inhaling the best as your could as you tried to calm your hammering heartbeat down, you could hear it so loudly in your ears, you really wished you hadn't came. You could've been at home right now....This was the worst experience of your life...at least yesterday it was over quickly, it felt like you'd been here for hours upon hours.

Taking your phone out of your bag, you texted Iseul, asking where she was, if she was okay, and if she could meet you up on the balcony, you gave it a few minutes, and after getting no reply you called her, you were desperate to reach her.

You let the phone keep ringing, but she didn't pick up, meaning you had been left completely alone. You sent another text, telling her to call you as soon as she looked at her phone, you then put it away, just in case you ended up putting it down and then forgetting about it.

Had it started to rain..? You felt a wetness staining your knees. Looking upwards you saw no clouds in the sky, just a plethora of stars, so many that it made you feel lonelier, ah, you had been crying.

--

Yul was glad that he had so many repeats of the same black hoodie, or he'd be screwed, he'd fully cleaned the other one, and disposed of it, and he was wearing the exact same outfit again, although, he kind of regretted it...it was really hot in here with how many people there were, he was allowed to stand in areas blocked off to normal people though, so, bonus for him. His hood was down, and his hair was fully out, since he wouldn't be able to see properly if he didn't.

He'd taken quite a few photos by that point, and people were ignoring his presence there, he didn't like the type of women who wasted all their time in clubs though, so it's not like that bothered him at all.

His shutter clicked as he took a photo the moment the club lighting changed at the chorus of a new song, and it was a pretty sick picture, at least to him, he checked it out as he gazed into his camera. Everyone looked so good, this would definitely get the club a better reputation if they were showing pictures like this! He was glad he decided to take on the job, it seems maybe he did have an actual talent, who would've guessed, seeing the pathetic loser he was before.

Wait...was that? His eyes narrowed, bringing the camera closer to his face, zooming in on the picture as much as he could, he couldn't quite make out the facial features but..he was sure that was...you in the background. That same girl from yesterday..! Now he had two photos...with you in them. Lucky him.

He bit his lip after thinking that, that was a bit too creepy.

What were you even doing here? In that outfit as well...Had you came here by accident? He laughed to himself at the thought, he didn't let his questions linger before he continued to work, he wasn't getting paid to be a detective, afterall.

Looking through the camera roll, he was certain he had enough photos for the club owner to be happy with...he needed a break.

He knew there was no smoking inside of the club, but he figured there'd have to be somewhere outside he could go. He placed another hand on his camera to steady it, and to make sure that nobody smashed it up on accident doing a wild dance move, God. Everybody here looks insufferable. If he was trash, what must these people be?

Walking up the stairs, he saw a sign saying smoking was permitted there, and he quickly went towards it, this was so deserved after all of his hard work! Maybe if he'd started to work before, he'd have a better feeling when he smoked instead of a dull emptiness.

Upon first glance he didn't see that anybody was there, so he pulled out a cigarette, and then his lighter, leaning himself against the railing by his arms, looking up at the clear sky, it was a beautiful night outside, when you weren't stuck in a stupid, stuffy building surrounded by drunk people.

His purple hair was blowing in his face every now and then, he shook his head to move it back into place,

...Odd. He felt odd. Was somebody watching him? His gaze darkened, it was a good thing he had his taser on hand...what if it was the police? What if they'd somehow figured him out? His body tensed, he turned around a fraction in the direction he could feel the eyes from, using his peripheral to just check what sort of threat he'd have to be dealing with, acting like he wasn't actively looking would do him better, as it made him look less suspicious.

There was nobody in the direct corridor behind him... it was clear...his eyes were drawn down, where two wide eyes were staring up at him.

He jumped, almost dropping the cigarette as he realised you were there " Fucking hell-" he cursed, turning fully to face you, before he actually saw who you were... what a strange series of coincidences.. it really was you from before.

Wait were you...crying? He tilted his head, not wanting to get any closer to you, he'd only ever been close to one girl before and well...he didn't want to evade your boundaries. He thought you must still be upset about what happened yesterday...he would tell you what he did but, he didn't want to end up scaring you even more.

" Hey..." His voice was softer than before, he put his cigarette out and squished it beneath his foot, as he crouched down infront of you. " You're the girl from yesterday right? " He repeated your name, and you nodded with a sniffle. " Are you okay? Why're you out here alone? " He wanted to reach out and wipe your tears, but...you sort of looked good with teary eyes.

You hadn't replied, and he sat down on the floor with you now. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do it, he didn't know you, or anything about you, you weren't even his friend, you were just some girl he kept running into, who gave him a really warm feeling. You meant nothing to him. He shouldn't try to get any closer to you than necessary.

Perhaps he felt bad for never being able to comfort Sian when she needed it, so he was trying to makeup for it, he was just being selfish, and doing this for himself, He couldn't care for another person who isn't her. He knows he can't, that's just who he is. He wasn't just feeling drawn in by the way you were looking at him...that just had to be something else.

" My friend...dragged me here and then abandoned me..." You spoke meekly, and Yul looked over to you, he had a tired look on his face, it didn't look like he particularly wanted to be here either.

" I got overwhelmed so..I came up here...and now I can't bring myself to go back downstairs.." Your voice was more of a mumble now, but he had trained his hearing to be sharp, given what he'd done...he needed to make sure he was able to hear anything, so it wasn't an issue for him.

" So, you didn't want to be here? " He asked, and you shook your head, he wasn't sure how he managed to come outside and not see you for so long, he felt a little stupid.

You were clutching onto your legs, you really didn't look like you wanted to come up here. " Bad things keep happening to you, I guess. " He couldn't help but laugh in your face, he felt a little remorse after you looked away from him, but he couldn't think of anything more comforting to say, and he didn't want to somehow make things worse by saying something unhelpful.

" Maybe its you...bad things only seem to happen to me when I bump into you, Yul. Which is seeming to be a recurring issue lately.." You joked back with him, he hadn't expected you to do that...he was a little surprised. His name.. You had remembered his name... That was sweet of you. You seemed so nice, how had someone looked at you and decided to take you here.. were they trying to torture you or something?

" You should try avoiding me then. " He looked back up at the stars, not noticing that you'd stopped crying now, maybe if he did he would've made a comment about it.

" Not until you come to the bakery. I need to repay you for yesterday, you really did help me a lot.i—I was really grateful for that. I just didn't know how to word it, I'm not good at talking in general. " The tone you were speaking in was so soft and gentle, he couldn't remember the last time anybody had been so kind to him. Were you this nice to all strangers you met?

" You really want me to come that bad? Well, I'll see if I'm free sometime next week, don't start expecting anything out of me though. You don't even need to thank me for what I did, I'm sure anyone would have. " He wasn't sure why you wanted to see him so badly, he didn't want to end up getting closer to you, he couldn't get close to...others.

He had already thought of you a few times on his own, he didn't want to start being like that again.

" But, You were the one who did it. I want to show my gratitude. " You weren't giving up were you? He sighed, supposing one trip to see you wouldn't do anything too bad to him, he had already memorised the name of the place you'd told him to go to, for no particular reason of curse.

" Fine, Fine. I'll be there, I guess. " He decided that he'd been outside for long enough and so he stood up, but, he felt a sensation on his lower leg.

You had reached out to grab his leg, only with two fingers, pinching the fabric of his jeans. "...wait." He stood and waited, looking down at you.

" Sorry to keep asking you for things but...could you help me get out of here please? I really can't find my friend and I get too overwhelmed on my own—I mean it's okay if you don't want to I can just stay out here but-"

He cut you off, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you up to your feet.

" You just wanna go home right? I'll help you out. " His other hand returned to his camera as he held your wrist tightly...he had quite a grip.

He started to walk back inside, pulling you behind him, he figured this was the best way to make sure you weren't separated, he didn't stop to lookback at you, just focusing on remembering his way out, he didn't want you to have to stay there any longer when you looked so sad, especially given how nice you could be despite it.

His grip was bruising, he sometimes was unaware of his strength, yet you didn't complain or ask him to let up. He thought that your skin was soft, and nice to the touch, he'd appreciate it whilst it lasted, since he didn't plan on having to make contact with you again. He'd already grown too close to you in your short moment outside, he was kind of glad you were doing bad and weren't able to keep a longer conversation, it was better for him that your interactions remain short.

Getting downstairs he could feel you gripping his wrist back, your fingers digging into his skin, he really could tell you weren't comfortable here.

Guiding you through the crowd, he finally managed to get you outside, letting go of you once you were across the street from the club.

" Thank you so much again , Yul! I'm sorry for bringing so much burden onto you. " You apologised to him again..you sure did like to apologise. He wasn't really used to hearing such words, it was kind of a shock to him. He wasn't completely hating it, though.

" Really, it's nothing, all I did was walk you outside. "

" I think you did a little more than that for me, but, thank you. " Why did you sound so warm all of the time? He didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. " I'll be getting home now..I know the way don't worry! Thank you again. "

Yul didn't say a word in return as he watched you walk away again, this was exactly like yesterday. He still wasn't sure why you had been pushed to him twice but, this had probably just been a coincidence.

His purple eyes bore into you again, watching your figure get further away.

Making sure you got home safely wouldn't hurt...right?

[jewishcissiekj]

6 Republic issues to go but I'm done with everything up to Revenge of the Sith so obligatory Siege of Saleucami post

PUT YOUR HAIR BACK UP AND CLOSE YOUR FUCKING SHIRT NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT THOLME Like this picture jumpscared me on so many levels, I know he made fun of Qui-Gon for stinking but in this exact moment I know you could smell his stench from whatever a mile is (I'm not American)

I like the scarf & goggles a lot, they really fit him and are a nice addition to his fit, wish he'd kept them in the later issues

Oh they're so in lesbians with each other they told me themselves

More blyla but also. Aayla's so stunning here in such a particular way I'm just like Bly fr (in love with her)

Look I love T'ra Saa but her and Tholme's relationship's so funny to me. Literally one of the most gorgeous women ever and this fucking guy. Her not being able to smell (not having a nose) is probably a big factor in dating Tholme bc I'm now convinced he stinks in general

This fight mirroring the Mustafar battle I'm so ok and alright and fine about it:)))

Okay but seriously WHAT THE FUCK was CODY doing on Saleucami. Because that's 100% Cody. Why is he there and did Obi-Wan send him to watch over his other boyfriend I need to know everything

She's? Once again? Absolutely Stunning???? I love the thing inside Quinlan's mind and she served cunt

Sian Jeisel you are so loveddddd

Star Wars: Republic #74-#75, #77

[skyflyinginaction]

Sian is not close to yuri as Yul would like to believe she only comfortable with her since she is viewed as another girl not a man.

What Yul said here means that he can be close to her in a way that she can’t when she is with guys If we go over in the beginning we can tell how much Yul’s projection is taking over.

An example of this is in the mall when Yul and Sian sit down at a table Sian opens up with her boyfriend to Yuri the reason She is able to tell these things to Yuri is because she is another girl. 

When you analyze this conversation, You start to take notice of Yuri's expression when Sian talks about him.

then this part Yuri was asked to stop. 

throughout the conversation, Sian was saying the things that Yul wanted to hear when Sian stopped talking about her feelings when Yuri felt discomfort.  

As Hyuanee puts it better Sian is nice to girls she rejected, This is true for Yuri by being careful around her in this entire conversation Sian avoids being confrontal about her emotions, especially with the issues at hand because she is worried about hurting Yuri's feelings. Sian is sparing herself from hurting Yuri's feelings which is why she is careful not to say anything that upsets her. Yuri never allowed Sian to vent her feelings to him when Sian does Yuri flat-out blocks it if it makes him upset. 

This example is proven true when she doesn’t tell Yuri that she got the job at the restaurant

because she knows that she will be upset if she finds out her prediction is true when Yuri walks in.

So yeah, Sian is not close to Yuri in that way Sian avoids talking about her true feelings to her. 

For Yujin it's different, Yujin noticed her fears when they first met and gave her the relief that she needed,

when she is with Yujin she is less afraid of him. Yuri’s presence doesn’t inspire relief as Yujin's would.  

when Sian is vulnerable Yul explots it taking advantage of her condition by dressing as a woman to enter her life. When she is dealing with Yul dressed as Yuri she has to dance around certain topics to avoid upsetting Yuri but she doesn’t with Yujin. 

Yujin allows Sian to be vulnerable and vent her own feelings to him and respects her boundaries, 

 

When she talks to Yujin she is able to tell her true feelings to him You don’t see her have this sort of moment as she did with Yuri You don’t ever see her at all acting as herself with Yuri. 

If you ask more how much closeness this is I would say Sian and Yujin since there were a lot of moments where you can see vulnerability. 

[unsaintness]

Oooh that's nice, Monika is my favorite as well but I find myself more relatable to Tsugino Haru personally ^^;

I love secret alliance alot but the ending.. left a lot to be desired is how I'll put it. But no for real, Eun Sian was missing out the whole time.

Also I reeeeaaally enjoy talking to you if that hasn't already been obvious, I'm really glad I get to be able to talk to you though so thank you!!

-👁️

Tsugino Haru? Hell yeah I love him sm he's so silly.

EUGH yes the ending was so ass urghhh I hated ittt

Awhh no need to thank me! It's nice to talk to you as well, again sorry if I'm not really on time with my replies. I can reply a bit quicker right now