#shut up sharky

[sharky-the-idiot]

guys what if we had middlecase letters

[rococo-unofficial]

if i touched your hair would it feel like my hand was doused in vegetable oil?

"....This is.... Certainly a question. But there is a chance that would be the case!! I mean, there are no showers in here...."

[ADMIN NOTE: Fuckers couldn't even give Rococo a shower?????]

[sharkie-fandom-scribbles]

The neon lines on the clock read that it was nearing four in the morning. The clear, star-studded sky was visible through sheer window curtains, and the gentle burble of an aquarium interrupted the otherwise silent night. Choso stretched languidly as he shifted in the soft modal sheets on his bed, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck after sleeping. He’d been in a deep slumber, though he couldn’t recall his dreams, and he turned with a soft smile as he looked at you, twisted gracefully in the duvet, eyelids fluttering.

His heart clenched.

A rush of warmth filled him, a wave of affection. He loved you. You made him feel safe, protected, adored. And in return he made you feel the same. Secure that nothing bad would ever happen to you while he was there. That he would be by your side any time you needed him. You call, and he runs. Sometimes the emotion was all he could think about.

Amongst other things. One of which was currently throbbing between his legs.

Slowly, Choso shifted in the bed and palmed himself, stifling a groan as the heel of his hand worked over his cock. He rolled onto his side, moving the sheets a bit as they fell off your shoulder and leaned in to kiss the curve of your skin. You were ethereal in your stasis, the shimmer of moonlight through gossamer curtain illuminating you like the stars had condensed to your frame.

His love.

He pressed another kiss to your shoulder, smiling a little as you sighed in your sleep, rotating your head on the pillow and snuggling further into the soft covers. A third kiss, closer to your neck this time as he lay down behind you, his arm circling your waist as he brings you against him. The gentle curve of your ass rocks against him and he clenches his jaw in an attempt not to moan and wake you. Then he pouted, carefully getting up and repositioning so he’s in front of you, your arms twisted next to your head. He settles down with a content sigh, pulling you close, his nose brushing yours as he leans in to kiss your forehead.

His cock throbbed and the full-body shiver that resulted from it made him whine.

His hand gently traveled the curve of your hip and ribs up to your neck, where he cupped the back of your head, leaning forward again to press a kiss to your nose. A sigh leaves your mouth, and his eyes latch onto your breasts as you rotate, the sheets slipping a bit and exposing your skin to the room. The cool air from the vents above hardens your nipples and Choso is fixated.

“My love?” he whispers, brushing his knuckles against the swell of your skin. His thumb moves next, gently shifting back and forth, and you release another sigh, arching ever so slightly, legs moving to get comfortable. Chasing an impulse before he loses it, Choso leans in and takes your nipple into his mouth. On the same wave, he grips your thigh and drags your leg over his hip, the apex of your thighs slotting over his and fitting together like a puzzle piece.

You mumble incoherently in your sleep, letting out a soft whimper as he sucks. His cock is aching, damn near on the verge of combusting as he shifts his hips slightly, desperately, seeking any bit of friction he can get. He gently thrusts against your thighs, and he lets out a soft moan, but in his pleasure haze, he rocks against your clit and the sensation jolts you. Choso stills for a breath, making sure he didn’t bother you, and resumed his languid pace.  

“Choso?” Your voice is soft, breaking him from his trance and he looks up your half-lidded gaze. “What’cha doin’?”

“Y/N,” He breathes, nose brushing yours as he rights himself. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

You card a hand through his dark, silky hair and give him a tired smile. “You could have woken me up, baby.”

Choso nuzzled your throat and pressed soft kisses against your clavicle, shifting you in his arms. “Didn’t want to at first.”

You tilt your head back to give him more access to your neck, and you reposition your leg over his hip to lock the heel of your foot against the small of his back, matching his speed as he moves against your core. Heat radiated from your bodies, and in a fit of frustration, you threw the sheets and duvet from your body, Choso snaking an arm around your waist to pull you flush against his chest as he kisses your mouth, tongue gently dipping in and out like he was fucking you. Soft, desperate whimpers leave him, his emotions colliding in a breath-stealing wave of wantfuckneedloveyou that robbed him of his ability to think straight as he rutted against the juncture of your thighs.

“Baby,” he moaned as your hands speared into his hair and leveled his face to look at you. His eyes were glassy, breath coming in short pants. “Let me have you.”

Without breaking eye contact, you reached down and grasped his cock, which absolutely pounded in your hand, and guided him inside. As he eyes rolled back, you rolled your hips in controlled undulations, the thick head of him stroking hard. He held onto your hip like a lifeline, babbling incoherently as you fucked yourself on him, before cranking his head back and kissing him.

Minutes, seconds, hours, days? Who knew how long it lasted. The earth could have exploded outside but neither of you would have noticed, nothing else existed in this moment. Your bodies moved together in a rhythm that was so practiced and natural it was like inhaling and exhaling.

“F-fuck-” Choso gasped abruptly, holding you so tight that little bites of pain sparked across your skin. “Baby, ‘m gonna cum, gonna cum so deep, my love, cum with me, please-”

He babbled at this point, soft praises leaving his mouth, pupils blown, lips parted as he gazed up at you like a man seeing the sun for the first time after an eternity in the dark. Your orgasm arrived on a wave of heat that meted through your pelvis and shot his into overdrive, his cock kicking inside you as he filled you up.

Breathless, sated, enamored, and Choso all but melted against you, panting heavily as you rubbed gentle circles across his shoulders. You giggled then, kissing his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, before pressing your lips to his. When he opened his eyes, it was all love, shining adoration, peace.

“Y/N,” he whispered your name with such reverence that your heart clenched.  “My love.”

You smiled, “Yeah, your love.”

[theendsongabyssxv]

Bioware dangled the DILF-y Mage killer assassin and expected me NOT to create a Mage on my first playthrough for Dragon Age: Veilguard? IF THE MAN HAS AN ANTIVAN ACCENT TOO, I AM GOING TO GO ABSOLUTELY INSANE. This man’s about to be obsessed with my Rook (the new PC).

I don’t want some redemption ass love story as an apology for how they handled Anders, I am going to romance Lucanis Dellamort and I’m going to make him WORSE.

✨LOOK AT HIM✨

[shark--apologist]

look i dont wanna assume but based on the banner for your tumblr and that one shark concept that has been running around since moonfire faire 2020 i am surprise it took you this long to be an apologist for them

Oh

Don't get me wrong

I've always been a shark apologist

My whole life I've loved sharks

I just also love bones and death and-

Anyway

Sharks are one of my autism interests

I only just recently changed my URL to match my other social media handles

[cullxtheherd]

✨

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 ✨ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐮𝐩

[🆇]

“Fuckin!!!” He starts off strong but sniffles, scratchy throat hitching as he tramples through the hip-high grass, “Make my own damn cult, HURKULES!” It isn’t the first nor the last time that they’ll have a stupid, dumb, idiot, drag-out fight about absolute nonsense, but? As it always does in the heat of rushing, quaky adrenaline? This feels like the last.

Ready to pillage and plunder a lifelong companionship he wipes at the pollen sticking to the sides of his beet-red, sweating face. “This is the last, stupid, no-good freaking time,” His voice carries on and up the side of the mountain he is traversing on his way back to the trailer park.

The snarl of a nearby, wandering Angel barely phases him and, with ease, he plugs a fat, double barreled load right between their eyes. “S’posed ta’,” Hiking the shotgun up he rests it on his shoulder, booted foot kicking at the corpse to be sure it’s really dead, “Be all about chillin’, grillin’ and bonin’ fat bottomed babes and whoever else I feel like w i t h my brother from another mother, but NO!” He spells it out for emphasis, “Capital N, O. N, O, P, E for Charlemagne!”

It’s been a long time since he has let the world or anyone else get to him like this. Generally speaking he is as easy going as they come, but fights with Hurk always seemed to hit harder than the rest and this one is no exception.

Angrily he wipes at a salty tear daring enough to track down his cheek. “Hate you,” He repeats himself, volume increasing at the sight of another, half-rotten fence he’ll have to jump, “Hate, hate, HATE YOU HURKULES!”

The barbed wire over the top rail is rusted and without much thought he grabs his sweater from over his shoulder, drooping it over in a thick, semi-even fold. Hoisting himself up is easy but the ground is uneven below, deceptively-tall grass a thick cover and he manages to roll his ankle in boots. This adds to his haphazard afternoon and he curses long and loud in a string of expletives that would make his Grandmother proud.

Lost in his frustrations Sharky isn’t privy to the steadily encroaching danger he is in. “Ohh,” He’s focused on his favorite sweatshirt which is caught on the barbs, “What the fuck- f u c k i n g!” All at once he straightens, an authoritative, heavy huff of air commanding his attention. “What the fuck was that,” A country, back-water kind of boy he already knows what’s staring him down but he turns and? Comically slow, leveling his stare with an approaching bull.

“Oh, f-” For reasons unbeknownst to him he runs instead of hopping back over the fence. He and his shotgun part ways before he ever sees the other side of the pen, “Shit, shitshitshit!” Weeds and tall, sour grasses whip past him, one of them cutting his cheek. “Oh naw, come on mister bull!”

With little hope and no care for his palms and their wellbeing he flings himself over the opposing side of the pen. The bull, ever-so-smarter than Charlemagne, stops just-shy of the prickly barrier and lets out a low, long and guttural moo. Udderly Bovine Triumph™.

“Fuck,” An arm hangs, useless - the webbing between his thumb and pointer is hooked painfully, “The fuckin’ fuck outta you, man!” The animal stomps, chuffing angrily through it’s nostrils and Sharky jumps, causing himself a great deal of pain and discomfort, “Alright, alright! I’m sorry!!”

Three hours later and slightly more than one twenty four pack down the gullet finds him much worse for wear and hollering Blondie, “Once I had love!!” A three quarters empty bottle of Jameson dangles from his uninjured hand; he’s been saving this for a rough day since the Peggies moved in, “And it was a fuckin GAS!”

“Not sure that’s how it goes, Charlemagne.”

“Wha-” It takes a moment for him to focus around a blurring duplicate image of his relatively new friend, “Ah! Hah! Been wonderin’ where you been Dep!”

“See you’re having a… day, hm?”

Sharky snorts, agreement plain as day, “And it is turning into one hell of a night let me tell you- here!” He presses the bottle into the Deputy’s hands, “Join me- commiserate in my misery.”

“Honestly,” The bottle cap unscrews in acceptance, “Impressed you know what that word even means.”

“Hey, hey! Now I’ll have you know that,” He sways, a wide, happy grin on his face and an unlit joint between his fingers, “I got my damn degree, thank you very much.”

“Your G.E.D.?”

“Hell no!”

“…diploma?”

“Fuck that, no! Homie I am talking about a license to chill,” Without missing a beat he sparks up the hand rolled, “An absolute handle on life and the finer things within, Shorty!!”

Taking a beat amongst the flames and pumping disco music to make note, "Sharky-?" It is very strange to see him without it, "Where is your shirt?"

"My-?" In the heat of agitated excitement, "LOST MY FUCKIN SWEATER, MY FAVORITE GUN AND MY MC-FUCKIN COOL TODAY, DEP!"

[sharkiethedork]

I love having ocs

[cryptidsdad]

robert when he causes *bi panic* amongst pretty boys

[sharkieboi]

eternal dilemma of go to sleep now cause you’re tired but knowing you’ll wake up in 2-3 hours with at least 2hrs to your work alarm, or push and stay up for the next 2hrs and /maybe/ sleep until your work alarm goes off

[phase0exe]

rotates tails doll in my brain like a potato in the microwave

[sharky-the-idiot]

lilac made me post this

[rococo-unofficial]

[ADMIN POST]

....Uhm.... How do I make an intro post again????

OK HI GUYS IT'S ME, #2 ROCOCO FAN, SHARKY!!!! ON THIS LIL SIDE BLOG I MADE FOR THE SILLIES!!!!! ANYGAYS UHHHH ROCOCO ASK BLOG THAT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE MORE OF A SHITPOST THAN ANYTHING ELSE, JUST WANTED TO MAKE THIS LITTLE GOOBER :333

You can ask anything except for stuff that's like.... Sexual?? Like no asking to fuck. I'm not comfy with that‼️‼️‼️ other than that yeah, ask away, sillies >:D

[sharkie-fandom-scribbles]

First works incoming this weekend! Both NSFW content. One is a drabble of sorts and the other is a oneshot.

Requests are ✨OPEN✨!

The drabble is Toji Fushiguro and the oneshot is Ace. Hope y’all enjoy!

~Sharkie (she/her)

[theendsongabyssxv]

I’m playing a new Skyrim game and have my ragtag ass band of followers that cause chaos, especially amongst each other. Lucien, Kaiden, Inigo of course but also Redcap, Gore, Caryalind, Xelzaz and Remiel. Toss in my DB and Teldryn and it’s just absolute madness. Teldryn has a romance story mod that adds a 4-6 hour long quest and it’s SO FUCKING GOOD, the voice acting is TOP TIER! Teldryn Serious (and A Serious Wedding) is one of the best mods. I TEARED up while playing the first time and I just adore Teldryn so much. Not to mention learning about Kaiden, Gore and Caryalind’s personal stories and trauma is just heartbreaking and bittersweet (especially if your romancing them). I’d love to create my own follower mod someday!

[kaboodlekibble]

okaaayyyy Hi this isn't my usual yk,,Pizza Tower reblogging sprees but i finally made my OC ref sheet

(btw: Stuffie is her Stuffed Animal Companion,and Sts is basically whether someone is alive or not)

My favorite Orphan ever,Sharki

[harunayuuka2060]

Riddle: Senpai...

Ace: We're doomed. Riddle is angry.

Ruggie: We were just enjoying the phantom hunting...

The phantom princess: *claiming that MC is her first love and that they should tie the knot "as promised"*

The phantom princess: You've kept me waiting for so long! *pouts*

MC: ...

MC: *smiles* Who are you?

The NRC students: !!!

The phantom princess: Wh-Wha- I'M YOUR BRIDE!!!

MC: Eh~?

Floyd: Hey, Sharky? You a cheater?

Idia: Not to interrupt, but I doubt MC would cheat on Riddle.

Malleus: I agree with you, Shroud.

Ace: Uh... But MC-senpai definitely has a type.

*All of them looking at the phantom princess*

The phantom princess: *who has the same height as Riddle*

Riddle: ...

MC: Pft- *bursts out laughing*

Cater: Um... Bestie? I think this is not the right time to laugh at your own preference?

Trey: I don't think they're even aware.

Riddle: Asshole. *walks out*

Trey: R-Riddle? Wait!

*The Heartslabyul students followed after him*

MC: *stop themselves from laughing*

Malleus, Vil, and Azul: *looking disappointedly at them*

MC: *smiles at the phantom princess* My lady?

The phantom princess: Y-Yes? *blushes*

MC: *still smiling* *then shoots her with the special gun*

The phantom princess: Wha-

MC: Grant my wish. I want a gift for my fiance - Riddle Rosehearts.

The phantom princess: !!!

The phantom princess: *cries* *then disappears*

The NRC students: ...

Vil: How could you be so heartless?

MC: Hm~?

Leona: Well, we don't know how you normally socialize with phantoms. So I guess that's your problem.

Trey, Cater, Ace, and Deuce: ...

Riddle: *who's clearly in a bad mood*

Cater: I don't want to ask this. But are you okay, Riddle?

Riddle: Why?

Cater: Um, why?

Trey: *troubled laugh* We're just going to leave you for now.

Ace: Do you think MC-senpai and the phantom princess actually dated?

Trey, Cater, and Deuce: ACE!

Deuce: Why would you even ask that right now?!

Ace: What? It's not like Riddle-senpai is in love with them-

Riddle: ...

Ace: Wait.

Ace: Huh?

Ace: HUH?!!

Cater: I'm so disappointed with you, Acey.

Trey: We're leaving now, Riddle. And uh... I'm sure everything will be alright.

*them leaving his study*

Riddle: ...

Riddle: *groans to himself*

MC: Where is Riddle~?

Trey: He's mad right now.

MC: I'm not asking if he is, Trey~.

Trey: Right. But I don't think it would do any good to approach him.

MC: Hm~? *giggles* Trey~ I'm not good myself~.

Trey: ...

Trey: Fine. He's in his study.

MC: Thank you, Trey~.

Trey: *sigh*

Ace and Deuce: ...

Ace: It's quiet.

Deuce: Really quiet.

Ace and Deuce: ...

Ace: Do you think they have killed each other?

Deuce: Please don't say that.

Riddle: JUST LEAVE!

MC: Eh~ You're so unfair~.

Ace and Deuce: !!!

Trey: Riddle.

Riddle: ...

Cater: What's that rose collar they were wearing before they left~?

Riddle: That is my present to them.

Trey: I see that they brought you a tart and an earring.

Cater: *gasped* RIDDLE!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Riddle: Sh-Shut up!

Trey: You're not denying it.