#shrek is really depressing
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jaypgartifacts · 1 year ago
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homestuck 🤝pokemon scarlet & violet
time shenanigans
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stealingpotatoes · 6 months ago
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But you don't like it ? Because I didn't like the last 3-2 episodes very much. I really liked Jecki, Yord and Sol. But…we know what happened to them. In ep 8. They made Vernestra into a total monster. I loved Acolyte and still do, but I didn't like the ending. It just went downhill with the show. And I miss the cool characters so much I'm depressed :'(
I was wondering what your overall feelings are about it all.
i feel like i've shared my opinions a couple times so instead of that, here's some of the shit my brother said while watching the show:
[about yord] "hes wearing his mums bedsheets and a travelodge towel"
[about vernestra and sol] "they've DEFINITELY got freaky"
"padawans have a rat tail to yank on if they get out of line"
"[abt vernestra] shes even dressed like shrek"
me: this show canonised gay pregnancy brotes: mpreg? me: no sorry brotes: no mpreg? this is a shit show
"[during the entirety of episode 3] what in the vegan parenting"
"they're basically just vegans with the force"
"quora digest did yoda have balls"
"the jedi are just intergalactic cps"
"racist shrek and… the zestatron 3000"
"thats why she brought him so she could say slurs and be like its fine my padawan is gay"
"i told you they'd bring yoda back! hes cheap"
brotes: [about yoda] any hand can-- me: any hand can go up the ass
"this show is chekhov's butter knife"
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toffeesbabbles · 5 months ago
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Back at it again with the incorrect quotes generator, using this one. I picked my favorite ones LOL. inspired by @/stellocchia LOLLL
Epic sanses + Killer + Cross for funsies!
(disclaimer; they may not fit all exactly but they got the "but its funny" pass)
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Cross: I'll offer you some friendly advice-
Killer: I don't want your advice.
Cross: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
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Epic: First one to reply is gat
Epic: *gay
Epic: Wait...
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Killer: Why are you on fire?
Color: This is how my day is going.
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Killer: How late were you up last night?
Epic & Cross, in tandem: Me?
Killer: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.
Killer, to Color: You.
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Delta: If I run and leap at Color, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.
Delta, running towards Color: Coming in!
Color: No! I’m holding coffee!
Color: *Drops coffee and catches Delta*
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Delta: Name something you believed in as a child that you no longer do as an adult.
Color: Myself.
(damn 😭)
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Epic , lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.
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Cross: What are you doing here?
Killer: I could ask you the same question.
Cross: I live here. This is my house.
Killer: I should probably ask you a different question.
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Color: You want some leftovers?
Delta: What are those?
Color: You've never had leftovers before?
Delta: No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.
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Killer: *raises eyebrows*
Delta: Put those back down!
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Killer: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack.
Epic : That's the truest statement I've ever heard.
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Delta, texting Killer: Text me when you’re home safely.
Killer: I’m home dangerously.
Delta: Stop it.
Killer: I’m home lethally.
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Delta: Cross, my old friend!
Cross: I think you tried to kill me at some point.
Delta: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.
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Cross: Last night I found out Epic is a sleep talker.
Color: Oh, really?
Cross: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
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deafeninggalaxycandy · 3 months ago
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✨️KENNY MCCORMICK HEADCANONS✨️
TW: mentions of drugs, death, alcohol, weed, sex stuff (not nsfw just sex related things. I mean it's Kenny, cmon)
• Kenneth James McCormick
• He/They/She (Genderfluid)
• Born on March 22nd, 2004
• 5'8"
• Pansexual
• Kenny was depressed for a long time about his immortality and never being able to die fully while being in constant pain and having added ptsd from his deaths.
• Eventually, he decided to drown his pain in drugs and alcohol since he'd just come back the next day
• He's done every single drug he could find. Mostly cocaine, painkillers, percs, and Xanax
• He's still kind of perverted but that toned down as he got older, and he got into more serious relationships
• Biggest pothead in the universe. He is never not high as fuck unless he's with Kelly or Karen.
• He's not violent, but if you hurt his friends, sister , or girlfriend, there's a chance he'll kill you, but a guarantee he'll break at least one of your bones.
• Kenny has died 1,600 times so far. 1,473 if you exclude the 127 times he died before the age of 10.
• He keeps a positive attitude because he's terrified of becoming a miserable abusive drunk like his father. Also, it takes a lot to really get him pissed off. He has a high tolerance for bullshit.
• Humans are 75% water; Kenny is 75% mango Arizona
• He makes incredibly gross (but funny) sex jokes
• He listens to every genre of music. His main favorite artists are lil peep, eminem, outkast, smash mouth, and green day
• His favorite movie is shrek 2 (he loves the entire series).
• Kenny was born in Texas, hence why his mom and brother have the accent, but they moved a year later after authorities found out about Stuart's "relationship" to the underage Carol.
• He works at McDonalds as a dishwasher in the daytime (like mother, like son)
• He bounces between jobs a lot, but he makes it a rule to never be unemployed for more than a month
• He mostly eats blue Taki's and Sour Patch Kids
• He's amazing at art. He spends a lot of time sketching (mostly anime characters or porn). He's drawn on his and Stan's converse.
• He also gives everyone piercings and tattoos including himself.
• He does track in High-school. He's used to running for his life so he's pretty fast.
• He's covered in scars, bruises, and cuts. Since nobody remembers his deaths, he has to make up some lie for anyone who asks, so he doesn't seem crazy by saying "Oh I fell off a bridge yesterday." Usually, he just keeps his shirt on to avoid questions.
• He gets pretty decent grade. Bs and Cs sometimes an A. He's not dumb but he has ADHD so he zones out a lot and isn't great at focusing.
• Kenny has a special drawer that he keeps all of Karen's gifts, cards, and paintings in.
• Eventually told Karen he was Mysterion. He retired the costume but keeps it around just for the nostalgia.
• Kenny's skinny due to him not being able to afford food, but he's still pretty strong.
• He hangs out with the goth kids and tells them stories about his deaths.
Yall Carol is literally 26, Stuart is 42, their oldest son is 13 💀💀💀
but also Kenny is the best. I love him. 🫶
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astridhoff03 · 7 months ago
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A Loveletter to the How to train your Dragon-Trilogy
I love this trilogy so much because it is a safe place for me, this world is a safe place, these characters are a safe place. I am eighteen years old and still doubting myself sometimes. Growing up is not easy and this trilogy shows us that perfectly. It thought us that letting go isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. It thaught us to do things your own way, to discover yourself and your strengths. It thaught us that true friendship will never end. That true love can exist in our worlds, it doesn’t matter if it’s romantic love or love between friends. Love is Love. Since the first movie we witness how Hiccup finds his own way and comes into his own, to become a Chief, a friend, a soldier, a husband and a father. His whole story touches me so deeply because I see myself in him, this is also why I love the whole trilogy and the shows and short films equally. They tell his story. I believe there is a Hiccup in every one of us. This whole Franchise has just giving me a feeling of pure joy and it feels like Home for me. After seeing all these movies and shows after a so long (and seeing them a hundred times) it was like coming home, that a part of me will always feel joy when I think about httyd. I am dealing with Depression so for me it’s like a little saving grace when I see or hear something httyd releated. It became part of my life again and I am so grateful that it is. It’s for me at least one of the best stories in cinematic history that were ever told. I don’t care if there is now Sipder Verse, for me httyd will always have the status as a superior trilogy, that I love to revisit and think about. It isn’t just a trilogy of movies or a simple TV-Show to a movie, it’s a journey about growing up. I have a lot love for this trilogy because I basically grew up with it alongside the Trilogies Madagascar, Shrek and Kung Fu Panda. I have so much love for this franchise in general, I just really enjoy it for what it is: a magnificent story about a boy and his dragon, who became best friends and will forever friends even if millions of miles parted them. Hiccup and Toothless will always love each other even if they are separated for their own safety, they grow together and they will always remember one another and the beautiful memories they share. There will always be something that connects them. IT’S YOU AND ME, BUD. ALWAYS. This why I love all of The movies and shows (tolerate T9R now to some degree) and it’s sometimes hard for me to see, when people hate on this movies and shows. Especially on the hidden world. I know not everyone likes it but they have to understand it’s hard to see for someone who loves it. I heard from some people that the hate in the fandom kinda destroyed their existence with httyd. I personally don’t want that because httyd appeals to some many and means to so many others so much. It kinda makes me sad to see, because httyd gives me one of the best feelings of enjoyment and inspiration that I never felt before. I know I can’t change some minds, but I just want to say all this, because everyone deserves understanding and respect. I know I posted in the past some hatred stuff against T9R and I regret everything of it, because I can now understand and feel with these people.
Last but not least I hope this franchise will again bring some more people together and the same happiness I feel with it. In some kind of way we share all the same love. We love the httyd franchise. ❤️‍🔥
Never let the dragon flames burn out in your heart, it will always be there in good and bad times. We have all THE HEART OF A CHIEF, AND THE SOUL OF A DRAGON.
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torturedblue · 1 year ago
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It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles
Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!
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First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss
Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them
Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.
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I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy
MURDER THE SHREKS!
“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽
Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing
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Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:
“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀
“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world
“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀
“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.
“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂
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Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭
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I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao
All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂
The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together
Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭
And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own
I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.
Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌
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Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy
Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣
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They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)
The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹
“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”
“No! We accept you!”
“You can come live with us! We accept you!”
“WE VIBE!”
Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹
The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there
“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”
Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂
“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”
“That was really heartfelt Raph”
I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation
Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️
Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD
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Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration
Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho
SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN
Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…
The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore
Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr
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Hangman:...You never just asked me what my best Valentine's Day ever was. Rooster: I don't want to hear about some pimple-faced kid from your boarding school giving you a hickey. Hangman: No, that's not it. It was a long, long time ago, when I was alone, laying in bed in a hospital room after I had a bad emergency landing during a routine hop, my original time at TOPGUN. I was really depressed around this time, and I felt like no one in the world cared about me. Like if I disappeared from the Earth, it just wouldn't matter. And then I hear a knock on the doorframe, and I look up...and I see your face. You brought me some chocolate milk from the hospital cafeteria and asked if I wanted some company. And I said, "Sure". And then you went on to describe the entire plot of "Shrek 2" to me because you couldn't believe I hadn't seen it.
Rooster: It's not as good as the first one, but it's more fun!
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salty-an-disco · 11 months ago
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Hey bud! If you had to give your favorite voice a favorite movie, what would it be? And would their matching vessel like or dislike it?
I know this wasn’t the assigned task, but I couldn’t resist–
Here’s me headcanoing a fave film for every single voice and their respective princess’ opnion on it–
Hero: Shrek 2. No it is NOT just because of the Holding Out For a Hero scene, tho that is a very nice scene that always makes him start bouncing on his seat the moment it starts playing. It isn’t Default Princess’ favorite (she prefers Shrek 1), but she still appreciates the satire and subversion of common fairy tale tropes and the exploration of Shrek’s character here.
Contrarian: The Emperor’s New Groove. It’s memeable, it’s funny, it has such iconic characters, what else could he ask for? Stranger likes what they saw of it well enough, but they can’t really bring themselves to focus on a movie for the entirety of it. Would rather be doing something that requires them to be proactive.
Cheated: Fight Club. I haven’t watched Fight Club myself, but from what I hear from it, sounds like something Cheated might enjoy. Razor isn’t allowed anywhere near a TV.
Cold: Inside Out. Am I projecting? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not. She watches Inside Out over and over again, imagining those little emotion guys as some of its friend, and getting a weird tight feeling in its chest when the control panel starts going gray because of Riley’s increasingly depressive state. Spectre likes the movie :)
Paranoid: Paranorman (I didn’t realize how similar those names are, but holy shit that’s funny), she finds Norman’s struggles to fit in and being seen as a ‘weirdo’ relatable and finds the way he’s fascinated with horror weirdly compelling. Both the fact it’s a stop-motion movie, and that it’s ‘children’s horror’ helps Paranoid feel safe watching it, and she doesn’t even jerks her arms once! Nightmare finds the zombies funny and gets… weirdly emotional during reveal at the end.
Hunted: The Lion King. It’s pretty, it’s colorful, the scenery and characters makes it feel at home, and it’s really compelled by the lion hamlet storyline. Beast tries to paw at every animal on screen and starts howling sadly when Mufasa dies.
Opportunist: Says it’s The Devil Wears Prada, but actually, it’s Legally Blond. The musical, specifically. Constantly has ‘Gay or European?’ playing in his head. Witch also loves The Legally Blond musical and is constantly grumpy that it’s also Oppy’s favorite.
Stubborn: Kung Fu Panda. It has FIGHTS, it has a panda struggle to become stronger, it has a compelling emotional core, he loves that shit! Adversary prefers John Wick, personally, but she’s also cheering for that white leopard guy every time he’s on screen (yeah, she knows he’s the villain, so what?).
Broken: Winnie the Pooh. It’s comforting and so nice to watch! It always makes them feel better. Tower doesn’t concern herself with this kind of leisure.
Smitten: The Princess Bride. Do I need to explain this one? Damsel also likes it, though she prefers Enchanted; especially the animated bits, she finds animation much more compelling than live action. :D
Skeptic: Knives Out. The mystery is compelling, the characters are engaging, and the set design! Skeptic could spend hours dissecting every frame of this movie and he did. Prisoner thought the culprit was too easy to figure out.
Extras–
Long Quiet is very fond of the Rio movie, while Shifty really likes Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (she’s also fond of The Lego Movie :))
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ifearzombies · 2 years ago
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Yet MORE Headcanons about life in the HoL
Previous post here with links to the other two: [x]
- On days that Levi’s depression is REALLY bad, you pull the futon into his room and you and Mammon keep him company.
- You have more contact with the Human Realm than you did your first year and call friends and relatives. Every call, without fail, is interrupted. Usually by Mammon.
- Asmodeus has been given clearance to have fun with your friends in bed. He does NOT, however, have clearance to have sex with relatives. Your single friends visit with Asmo a lot and the next morning you talk with them over the phone or at the table about how talented he is. He LOVES it.
- You have a weekly trip to Wail-mart for condoms and lube. They have a bag ready for you every Friday at this point. If you’re a fem!MC and forget one week, the next bag has a pregnancy test.
- You told Satan there’s a musical called ‘Cats’. You two now sing songs from the Broadway show and have gone to it several times. You don’t talk about the movie version. Satan has decided the movie doesn’t exist. His favorite cat is Rum Tum Tugger since he’s defiant to Munkustrap.
- You wanted to watch ‘Ratatouille’ with everyone. Barbatos was horrified the movie even exists and destroyed the disc in your hand. You tried to tell him and the more you tell him, the paler he gets. The movie gets put on the banned list. This also extended to ‘Secret of Nimh’ and ‘Flushed Away’.
- Between working out with Beel, pampering and fashion with Asmo, etiquette lessons with Barbatos and Lucifer, and Belphegor helping you sleep more peacefully you are healthier than you’ve ever been.
- You’ve learned a lot of magic and you and Solomon taught some of your friends. A few of them want to go to RAD for a few years. You’re working out details with Diavolo and the Celestial Realm, but Diavolo is ecstatic.
- You got Beel the 5lb gummy bears and worms. Also a few of the giant Hershey kisses. Beel hadn’t known there were snacks that big and he was so happy to find out. Though he struggled to eat the bear. It was pretty cute.
- As a gag gift you got Asmo one of those 55 gallon drums of lube. It backfired because he absolutely loved it and he took it to an orgy party with cubi later that week.
- You’ve just now sworn off singing any songs dealing with depression or dark topics. You sang ‘I was meant to be yours’ from Heathers and like with the ‘My R’ incident, house was in mass panic. Simeon was asked to counsel you again and he still was a bit confused but was glad you were OK. Solomon, however, laughed his ass off.
- You found out some of your older relatives were super uber religious and hated everyone but Simeon and Luke. And then you found out one was racist when they said something horrible about Simeon. Simeon had never heard the slur before, but once you explained the meaning, he cried. Satan nearly went to the Human Realm to teach them a lesson, but you reassured they weren’t worth it. They weren’t your family anymore. Everyone in the Devildom was. And you were cutting that relative out. You also cut the super religious ones after they insulted your demons. 
- You watched ‘Shrek The Musical’ with Levi and Mammon. You’ve caught them both belting out songs from the soundtrack. You filmed both of them.
- You jammed out to ‘Like a Prayer�� and Simeon joined in. Asmo then said the song was about sex and Simeon nearly passed out. You explained that it’s actually about being so in love with God that the singer feels he’s an actual boyfriend/man in her life. You debated heavily on this while Simeon had a panic attack. It’s ‘Like a virgin’ that’s about sex.
- You bought Belphie one of those space globes that turn the room into outer space when the light goes out. He and Beel love it.
- You’ve discovered songs about the Devil promoting evil actually really hurt Diavolo’s feelings. Especially ‘When You’re Evil’. He caught you listening and he nearly cried and asked if you thought he was really like that. You had to reassure him that was not the case. Beel heard the song and was just confused why his name was confused with other people in there.
- A few relatives were concerned you decided to emigrate to actual literal Hell. Those whose opinions you ACTUALLY care about, you invited them with permission from Diavolo and Lucifer. By the end, your relatives loved your chosen family. Some of them send gifts to the Devildom just for them and each item sent is treated like a treasure by the recipient. 
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nitewrighter · 10 months ago
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Watching Disney's "Wish"--No idea what to expect but mostly here for Chris Pine. Pray for me.
-Old school storybook opening sequence which is clearly meant to be evocative of Snow White, Pinocchio, etc. But it's very hard to play it straight in a Post-Shrek world.
-Jesus the world's most painfully expositional dialogue.
-Oh god the body language and the timing of the expressions... Disney has only had one (1) Heroine Concept since they popped out Moana and none of them have been as compelling as Moana.
-Rosas has Duloc vibes. Disney really did not consider the post-Shrek implications of this writing and worldbuilding.
-TANGLED REFERENCE.
-Oh god the Seven Dwarf Besties. Like... to what end??? Who is this for??? This is too many characters for one scene??? If they aren't in the title maybe don't dump 7 on your main character???
-Every time I hear that the Queen and King were originally written to be a villain power couple I'm soooo depressed at looking at this queen. I do like this character design.
-CHRIS PINE THIS IS WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
-ANIMATION REFERNCE.
-Aw hell yeah that's actually a damn good villain turnaround.
-Goddammit yeah again making the Queen ignorant of the whole evil king thing is sooooo disappointing and boring compared to the concept arts.
-Eyvind Earle inspired backgrounds are pretty good.
-This is a really creative concept with very interesting worldbuilding implications but goddamn Disney is just falling so hard back on what it thinks is fun and poppy and marketable and also the music is being pulled in like 5 different directions.
-Why is there a raccoon in the Mediterranean.
-Snow White Wishing Well reference.
-GOD the 'Well that just happened' dialogue.
-Is that a fucking Luma from Super Mario Galaxy.
-Alan Tudyk is here now.
-Oh so this is gonna be a *heist* movie. That's why she's got 7 besties.
-...again kind of disappointed that the Star is basically just a Luma and not a heavily ADHD-coded guy like we saw in the concept art.
-Bro the music in this is SO ALL OVER THE PLACE. IT'S PAINFUL. Chris Pine's villain song was just upbeat pop. Like practically Hanson. And then there's a song that's just.. literal straight up political revolution played completely straight.
-Saba's gonna fuckin die.
-You can tell Chris Pine is having so much fun being a campy charismatic villain he deserves such a better song than the one he got.
-Mage hand!!
-Maleficent ass magic effects.
-Man the movie did *not* set up the tone shift sufficiently.
-Jesus this is a specific ass political revolution song.
-I think this is the first Disney Princess to start, like, a full-on coup.
-Okay so they had to make the queen good so that Asha wouldn't be completely obliterating the government.
-Damn there's just a guy in full Peter Pan costume I guess.
-...straight up Fairy Godmother name drop. I THOUGHT THAT CLOAK REFERENCE WAS BUILDING UP TO SOMETHING.
-This movie is like 80% visual references to previous Disney Films--JESUS ENDING WITH THE MICKEY MOUSE EARS FIREWORKS AND A WINK.
-like... I get that it's Disney's 100th anniversary but it's also like... you could have made a short celebrating that and let this like.. be an actual movie.
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calcitedraws · 2 months ago
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FENS DIARY
Tw: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, brief mentions of sexuality and Fen being generally sort of creepy and trying to rationionalize it.
Around 2,300 words
This was supposed to be a few entries and I got too invested lol and I use y/n because I'm old school. Also when Fen says 'Im not a girl' that isn't indicating a bio or gender identity I was just including the fact that they're nonbinary.
November 17th
I haven't written in a while, eh? After… what happened I sort of shut down for a while. Even now I want to shut down, but my dad always said I should face things head on. Ok, as my therapist used to say: if I don't know how to word something I should just say it as plainly as I can to get started.
I'm in pain.
I can't sleep I can't eat and I can't fucking breathe. The only person making sure I have a moderately healthy sleep/wake cycle is Dandelion, and even then he doesn't seem to mind if I sleep on the couch all day as long as he's fed.
I'm packing to head down to the funeral and I came by my journal. I don't even know why I'm doing this. This is fucking stupid.
I'm scared of seeing them. I haven't seen my mom or siblings in… 5 odd years? I never even came out to them. I'll have to explain so much that I'm just not in the goddamn mood to. I don't even think they want to see me. Dad told me that once they figured out the whole situation that they didn't take it well.
Dandelion keeps curling up in my suitcase. If he behaved better in crates, I'd bring my little man with. But he chews on the bars and yowls, so I'm leaving him at one of those pet boarding places.
November 19th
I don't want to go tomorrow. I'm sitting here at this shitty hotel desk that's sticky in this shitty hotel room that smells like booze and mothballs. There's a weird mark on the carpet and I can't decide if it's old blood or a shit stain. Either way it's suspiciously big. The people in the other room keep having really loud and bad sounding sex, all the damn time. Like, literally, their headboard is apparently against the same spot as mine, because the thumping keeps me awake. I tried to move my bed and found another stain that I'm convinced is blood. I put the bed back and slept on the tiny couch in the room. I'm pretty sure there's bedbugs on every fabric surface.
OH MY GOD THOSE TWO ASSHATS ARE HAVING SEX AGAIN!!! WHY ARE THEY BLASTING THAT ONE SONG FROM SHREK 2 I HATE THIS HOTEL
November 20
I'm just sitting here. At this sticky desk again. I don't think I can do this. It's 3:30 AM and I can't go back to sleep. Waiting for my sleeping meds to kick in.
My therapist always said that the best time to journal about something is when it's the hardest to think about.
I wish I had someone. I like to think soulmates exist. Maybe Dad was right and that's all horse shit. Maybe I should just throw myself into oncoming traffic instead of going to his funeral.
I've been paying more attention to cars recently. Funny how many look like my dad's.
I think the meds are kicking in? No clue, maybe I'm just too angry to think.
—---------------
It's 8:10 AM and I need to leave in 20 minutes.
I've decided to go, because I owe it to him. I think I'd hate myself more if I didn't go.
What do I even do if I see my mom again? Is she even my mom? Am I allowed to wave if she spots me? Will she even recognize me. I can recognize her. I've been cyber talking her Facebook. Her husband and her just got back from a weekend trip to the Bahamas.
I haven't dared look for my siblings. I miss Sherry.
Had to take a minute to reign myself in.
I'm glad my aunt (my dad's sister) took care of the funeral prep. Shes nice. Haven't talked to her in a half a decade, I should send a nice letter after the funeral.
The thought of coming back to that house alone is killing me. No more face times. No more random phone calls. No more sending him pictures of weird stuff Dandelion did.
I need to head out soon. My hair is greasy. My eyes hurt. I look like shit. But I have to go.
I forgot to charge my phone last night but there should be enough juice in it to get me there and back. Don't know where I'm headed since I've never been here. My dad said I wouldn't like where he lived because it's crowded. Maybe I can just throw myself into oncoming traffic after.
—----------------
I think I met an angel.
I got lost after the funeral and my phone died. I started crying in the middle of the side walk like some fucking weirdo when I spotted them.
They were so cute, in their cozy sweater and jeans. They asked what was wrong and I said I was lost and that my phone died.
They actually lead me back to the hotel! Apparently they live here in the city too but near the outskirts. I never got their name, I'm such a fucking idiot.
I've always felt like there's been a wall between me and other people. But with them… I didn't feel that. I felt I had known them all my life.
Shit, here I am rambling about someone I just met after going to my dad's funeral.
It was awkward. Like, painfully awkward. No one approached me. My dad's funeral was closed casket, which all things considered, makes sense. But I felt like if I opened that casket it'd be empty. It was a weird feeling.
I didn't know any of his friends and only Sherry showed up to the funeral. I don't know why but that somehow made everything worse. Sherry couldn't even look at me. I didn't stick around long afterwards. She looks so different from when I last saw her (why did she go blonde?) but I recognized her instantly.
I'm packing up to head home. I technically don't need to go until tomorrow but the longer I stay here the more I feel the need to itch the back of my throat with a shotgun. At least at home I can cry into Dandelions fluffy belly.
January 8th
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Guess who's forced me out of rotting in my bed? My boss threatening to fire me if I don't log on and do my job!
A fair point, but fuck him anyway.
I said I'd log on today and he seemed satisfied.
So here I am instead, procrastinating. I can't keep my eyes open for very long. I mean, I logged on and have been reading meeting notes. That's progress.
Dandelion has been very accommodating with allowing me to randomly pick him up and cry loudly into his fur.
Oh! I found a new cat! Her name is Queenie and she's a little black cat. I found her right outside the hotel I was staying at before the funeral. I thought she had that lethal cat bloat I had heard about, but she was just really pregnant! Like, ready to pop pregnant. She gave birth on Christmas and now I have a small army of tiny black and orange kittens! I woke up to 6 of them on Christmas morning. They're all so small and cute and they won't stop meowing very very loudly. I got Queenie spayed as quickly as I could afterwards.
Queenie warmed up to my quickly despite being a stray. I named her that because she's a little diva. The amount of times I had to separate her and Dandelion from fighting over mutually favorited spots is well, embarrassing since these are two adults. But now? Queenie just lays on top of Dandelion and he seems to enjoy it.
Why am I jealous of two cats?
January 15th
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Oh my God I found them. The person who saved me and lead me back to the hotel, I found them!
Ok, so, I'm a penetration tester, which means I hack into systems. It's boring so I never talk about it. But, the job we were handed made us pen test a random hospital and I found them! They went in for a checkup recently and I found their data while spelunking! I took a picture of their government ID before I could stop myself.
I can't believe I found them! I clicked on a random name because I liked the way it looked and it leads me right to them! I know it's them, because the ID card looks like them and says they live near where they said they did.
I've been looking at our star signs. I also found their social media and they're so chatty! I think they just think their friends are watching because they post sporadically. I scrolled through everything I could find during my lunch break.
Oh my God I sound insane. This is insane and totally illegal. I need to step back and calm down.
January 25th
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I tried!! Couldn't step back couldn't calm down. I've been cyber talking a stranger for like, a week now.
But I've come to a revelation: I'm very greasy. I haven't showered in… no clue to be honest. I only realized because I accidentally leaned against the sliding glass door and my head left a strong imprint on the glass.
I haven't changed my bedsheets in a while either. Or vacuumed, or cleaned the kitchen, or swept the patio. So instead of any of that I have spent the entire afternoon paralyzed on the couch in sustained fear. Dandelion has joined me.
February 4th
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I finally got fed up of being greasy and took an actual shower instead of sitting under the water staring at the floor and disassociating for like, half an hour. The sheer amount of dead skin I scrubbed off is embarrassing.
*Y/n* (the name of my angel) talked about spring cleaning early online. They even have the link to their favorite songs to listen to while cleaning. I recognize some of the songs but most of them are new to me. Maybe if I listen to the playlist it'll make me want to clean?
Update: It did. Managed to clean the kitchen and living room before getting tired. Maybe I should start working out again…?
Feb 14th
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Y/n is single! (Very good information to know)
When I clean I just put y/n’s play list on and I'm suddenly full of energy.
I think it eases the loneliness. I miss my dad.
Feb 20th
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I've discovered something about myself that I can't unlearn. I think I have a praise kink?? I was watching my favorite show with Dandelion and one of the characters that kind of looks y/n said ‘good girl' to the main character and. I got so horny I had to pause the show and sit in silence. I'm not even a girl. What the fuck just happened? I think the cats know because they've been staring at me judgementally all afternoon.
March 1st
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Lasagna is my enemy.
April 29th
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It was my dad's birthday yesterday. He would've been 46 today.
I sort of shut down for the entire month, again. House is a fucking mess. Only think I can manage is taking care of the cats, who don't seem to mind the mess.
I just wish I had someone. The house is pretty quiet. Sometimes I put the TV on to avoid how quiet it is. I miss talking to my dad, about literally anything. The weather, what my cats were up to, about my dad's new girlfriend of the week, literally anything. I miss how funny he was. I remember when I was in secondary school how him and I would watch TV every Friday night and eat Mac n cheese from the box.
May 1st
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I think I'm in love with y/n?? Is that a thing you can do? I had a dream we went on a date to a coffee shop and then we went home and made dinner and I kept making them laugh and smile and when I woke up I just burst out sobbing. I literally couldn't calm down for who knows how long.
But I want something like that! I want it so badly! I want to make them dinner while they talk with me! I want to cozy up to them on the couch while watching a movie! I want to hear them breathe next to me at night!
So I might've done something maybe unethical. I located their IP Address. Which isn't bad since I already know their physical address and their safe with me and it's not like it's illegal to find it!
May 10th
—------
So I did something stupid. I did something really fucking stupid I hacked into their email. All it took was a phishing scheme and bam, I was in. And Lord knows how everything is connected to emails nowadays. I'm a criminal now. I've been reading their emails for like, three hours. I mean… the government can like totally see your emails so it's not that big of a deal?? Right???
Oh my God I'm a criminal now!
But I'm learning so much!
May 18th
—-----
The time has come. Queenies kittens have all found new homes, I can't have all these cats in the house. But I kept my favorite kitten; Cali, the little calico. Short of Hotel California, My dad's favorite song.
Cali is a menace against society. He's chewn through wires, eaten pillows, and I've had to take him to the vet twice for eating batteries. I don't think another family can handle him.
I like to think he gets this from Dandelion, who despite being well over ten years old still chews on wooden furniture.
June 19th
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I've been trying to find a way to say this that doesn't sound bad. But like, I literally can't? So I'll just say it.
I broke into y/n’s phone.
I'm not doing anything bad! I just want to see what they're up to! I won't use this to hurt them so it isn't bad, is it?
I've been watching them play candy crush for 45 minutes. They're bad at candy crush but something about that is so cute! I've downloaded candy crush. Maybe I can play the same levels at the same time as them…?
I've also been eating meals with them. They watch stuff on their phone as they eat and I've started eating at a regular schedule again. But their diet sucks so much?? Why the fuck are they eating gas station sushi so often? I'm scared they'll get worms!!
July 1st
—----------
What if my cats tell me neighbor I got high???
July 2nd
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So um, I tried edibles for the first time yesterday. You'll never guess how it went.
Anyways, high me decided that cleaning the entire house was their sole mission. Thank you, high me.
July 19th
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I finally gathered the courage to go into my old room.
I only had the attic room because everyone had their own rooms and I was sick of sharing with Sherry. So, my dad fixed up the attic and gave that room to me for my 10th birthday. When everyone left, I took over Sherry's old room. Mom only left the mattress and headboard, so it didn't feel like Sherry's anymore. All that's left is the thumbtacks from her old posters.
Anyway, my old room is just how I left it. Dusty, but the same. I even found Howie, my old plushie! I took all of Howie's stuffing out and it's in the wash right now, but they still have the old lavender satchet I put in them. I don't know what to replace it with, to be honest.
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stealingpotatoes · 2 years ago
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Do you know where Yoda is in your Anakin-raises-Leia au?
Is he still chilling on Dagobah, with occasional visits from the X-many greats grandkids?
Did he see Anakin, Ahsoka, and (later) Obi-Wan trying to raise a baby and think Absolutely Not, they need Adult Supervision?
Did he choose to stay near Luke like OT Obi, but as a mysterious bog gremlin instead of sand wizard? is he punking any imperials that try to enter - think Shrek vibes
Is he taking advantage of the Vader free universe to go around looking for their lost padawans?
did he immediately retire to a vacation world, leaving saving the universe in his lineages' hands as he sips space piña coladas and watches the sun set?
Is he doing a mix of everything?
yeah he's pissed off to dagobah as per usual!! so yeah shrek vibes but on dagobah not naboo ): really not much difference, though Anakin and Leia do (carefully) visit a few times to get Jedi guidance or whatever! but yeah just bc vader isn't here doesn't mean yoda's 1. safe or 2. in a mental state to be a jedi after losing so many ppl he taught ): lad's in his depressed swamp boy summer
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askfallenroyalty · 2 years ago
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Fanon sans is boring cause they try to make him cool. Sans is at his best when he sucks ass and does jackshit and only opens his mouth to be annoying on purpose and he has a 5 year old mustard stain on his shirt
^^^^ so true so true. people want to scrub him clean and make him into a DeviantArt OC template and I say leave that filth on him! let him be a depressed nasty and useless little funny man. I love him and he's awful and he's also kinda great. It's really endearing that he cares so much for Frisk even if he sucks at being actually useful to their safety cause he knows they can time travel. like he's got layers. insert Shrek joke here.
but yeah tbh as much as I'll complain and find this character assassination annoying its fine. like it's fine. I stay in my lane and they stay in there's. I don't tell them what to do, they can have fun and do whatever as long as it's not harmful to people. I'm too tired to care what this fandom does as a whole 😔
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theshiningprincess · 8 months ago
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What's your history with the Donkey Kong Franchise?
Well it all started when I first moved into my family’s new house back in 2010 (it was because my father had a new job), when I first went to my new elementary school at 3rd grade I tried making friends but none of them would be interested in me, and already I was feeling home sick from my old home. That was until when DKC Returns was just about to be released the same year, and in some ways it would have helped me coped myself from being lonely from school not getting friends at the time. (Keep in mind I’m not really the best when it comes to making new friends cause ether they aren’t interested, or just straight up ignore me). And after I finished the game I saw DK as the heroic figure more than the villain figure most people see him as and developed a crush on him since I could see him like Shrek but more floofier. As I started to become interested in both gaming and otaku culture (all because of someone I used to look up to but now despise because they will become my gr00mer soon) I learned more that the series was connected to other series like Banjo Kazooie and Conker which I love also. As years when on my parent’s divorce and most of my middle school friends ditching me off made me have this downward spiral of depression and anxiety from socializing with other peers in my High School years. I mostly socialized on social media where I could make friends with people who loved my special interests, because I thought it was the more quicker and easier way to make friends. But unfortunately that would take a turn when I was gr00med and manipulated badly by an idol I used to look up to, who was secretly a P3d0… It was a experience I may never forget, it was horrible, and what’s worse was that they’re twin brother wasn’t as better ether, they would often harass and break my boundaries by saying things like that they wished I was like someone else, and even when as far as telling me DK doesn’t like me in a rude way…
It is now 9 months later since I cutted ties with them and I still feel haunted by that experience… But thankfully my love for DK never changed, and I know that he still loves me in my heart. And I know he wouldn’t want to see me so sad… ;3
I LOVE MY FLOOFY BOI!!!
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sorensolsikke · 6 months ago
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[introduction post
bottom text]
hola, my name is soren – after that owl from the zack snyder animation movie which was probably an allegory of nazis??? – i am seventeen, hungarian, queer and audhd. i am also an alterhuman, and i have a fursona. if you are ready for the deeper shrek-like onion layers of my personality, you can find me curled up like an angry snake on the bottom of the post.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆✧・゚: *✧・゚:*。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
here i am, delivering my beloved labels, only for you<3
i am pansexual, poly (but right now in a closed and comitted relationship) and genderfluid. here's a link where i explain my gender, if you are interested, and my pronouns page. anyways, please choose to use any pronouns you find suitable for me, including my neo/xenopronouns: ze/zem, sol/sols, wave/waves, abys/abyss, drae/dragos, pup/pups, bee/bees (i don't demand anyone to use them, i just like to think about myself by these).
i am a dragonkin with golden retriver hearttype, otherlinks other than cheetah and barn owl are yet to be discovered!! lately, i realized i don't like to be called nonhuman, therian or otherlink. I prefer being called alterhuman, -kin, and otherhearted, because even tho i feel disconnected from humanity itself, i'd like to embrace my own human side the same way i do with my animalistic one. here's a link for further explanation.
i am a burnt out highschooler, studying biology, can't wait to study my special interest [psychology] in a university. i make art, but usually would rather not post about it.
plus because i really love typology, my mbti is infj-t, melancholic-sanguine, enneagram is 4w5 sx/so with a strong 2, big five is RLOAI.
i like to mess around on my account, i have lots of reblogs, some og posts and i may vanish sometimes for a couple of days. this blog isn't for creating content, but for my own entertainment. my tag for original posts is #soren's hoard of words
DNI if you are a general shit of a person towards anyone who didn't hurt you or others, so if you are intolerant. DNI with mostly nsfw content. other than that, i would be happy if you interacted with me or my posts!!✨🤍✨🤍
tw: sh, healing from depression
i've spent the last couple of years with recovering from depression, different types of self harm, and generally trying not to kill myself. i have spent two weeks in a psychiatry, and i have been on therapy for five years now. i am proud that finally i can say i am doing great!! for more loredrops, stay in tuneee
(i am no fictionkin as alterhuman, but i like to collect these guys. if it's offensive towards anyone, please educate me)
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sixty-silver-wishes · 1 year ago
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"Let things that happen onstage be just as complex and yet as simple as they are in life. For instance, people are having a meal, just having a meal, but at the same time, their happiness is being created, or their lives are being smashed up."
- Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
With that in mind, let's talk about the Shrek 2 dinner sequence.
No, seriously. While perhaps not as intricate and dramatic as Chekhov's Ivanov, which tells the story of a man's decline into depression through heartbreaking subtext in the dialogue between himself and his peers as he gradually alienates himself from them, the dinner sequence in Shrek 2, I believe, is a three-minute masterclass in a similar sort of storytelling to the one that characterizes many of Chekhov's dramatic works. Chekhov was a big advocate of the "show, not tell" principle, and the Shrek 2 sequence demonstrates a fabulous exercise in this sort of writing, assisted by genius camera angles. I unironically love this sequence and how much it can tell us about writing- it demonstrates a complex show of dramatic tension and subtext, pacing, character dynamics, and cinematography, while also progressing the wider story and balancing the drama with the Shrek franchise's style of humor- which is not an easy feat to pull off. I really want to talk about this sequence and dissect it, because it's honestly taught me a lot as a writer.
So for context, in case you haven't seen Shrek 2, Shrek, an ogre, and his wife Fiona are having dinner with Fiona's parents, the king and queen. Due to a magic spell, Fiona has been permanently transformed into an ogre after falling in love with Shrek- which she gladly accepts, but her parents do not. With them is Donkey, a comic relief character. Due to the curse, Fiona's parents locked her in a tower until her "true love" could rescue her- which, of course, turned out to be Shrek in the previous movie. We see in this sequence that Fiona's parents have different attitudes towards the couple; later on in the movie, it's revealed that her father was the Frog Prince, contributing to her parents' opinions on magic spells impacted by "true love's kiss."
So, onto the scene.
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First, we get an establishing shot of Shrek at the table, which is zoomed out to show Fiona and her mother sitting on either side, and Fiona's father on the opposite end. Obviously, two characters on either side of a long table is an easy way to show they are opposed to each other. Although the characters haven't spoken yet, an uncomfortable mood is quickly established- Shrek's facial expression looks uneasy. Behind him is a stuffed hawk and a fireplace- perhaps a nod to the fact that ogres are seen as predators to be hunted with torches and pitchforks. On either side of Shrek are two candelabras; he is surrounded on three sides by fire and the lighting is primarily cast upon him. The hawk's talons are also pointed down directly at him, and the scene is lit in an ominous red light.
The next few shots establish all the conflicting moods that will be at odds during the scene. Queen Lilian is, if you will, attempting to be an "ogre ally." She attempts to be accepting towards Shrek and Fiona's decision, but is still clearly uncomfortable. King Harold, however, makes no attempt to hide his contempt. It's him and Shrek- again, seated at the opposite ends of the table- who will have the most direct conflict. (Perhaps this is a small detail, but Lilian and Harold are dressed in pink and blue, respectively- feminine- and masculine-coded colors that contrast with each other. This may reflect their adherence to conservative societal norms, specifically relating to gender roles and relationships.)
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No dialogue has been spoken yet, and the conflict is still being established. We get a POV shot of Shrek's plate, consisting of escargot and multiple different kinds of utensils, after Shrek nervously picks at it. The composition of the plate and utensils is complex, elegant, and orderly, again highlighting that Shrek is out of place.
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The silence is first interrupted as Shrek picks up a snail with his fingers and bites into it with a loud crunch. The first domino has fallen; Shrek foregoes the utensils to eat in a manner familiar to him, creating a marked contrast with the way we assume Fiona's family will eat. Afterwards, we have a shot of Harold looking even angrier; Shrek has broken a social norm. Shrek smiles with his mouth full; we get Lilian looking even more nervous as she eats her escargot with a fork, and Fiona drinks from a glass of water.
Fiona, who is unwillingly assigned the role of mediator between the two parties, belches after drinking the water- a behavior expected from Shrek. She excuses herself politely, which is understood as an attempt at keeping the peace. However, Shrek cracks a crude joke ("better out than in, I always say!"), and they both laugh as the second domino falls. Lilian and Harold look uncomfortable; Fiona laughing at Shrek's joke and displaying chemistry with him communicates that she is on Shrek's side, not theirs. Noticing their discomfort, Shrek and Fiona stop laughing and appear dejected.
The tension is built further as Donkey enters. Donkey plays up the comic relief the entire time, but also adds to the tension more than he diffuses it. While friendly, he's loud and messy, and while Lilian looks at him curiously, Harold treats him rudely, shouting "bad donkey; down!" Fiona again attempts to ease the tension, explaining that Donkey helped rescue her. Donkey proudly agrees, but then demands a bowl for himself from the waiter. Shrek facepalms and says "oh boy;" there is now another conflicting dynamic in the room. Donkey, who has no interest in conforming to social norms, heightens the tension as Shrek and Fiona attempt to appease Fiona's parents.
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Another domino falls. Shrek drinks from the bowl of water given to him, which is supposed to be used to wash his hands. Fiona gets his attention, and dips her hands in the bowl to signify its purpose without making it obvious to her parents that Shrek doesn't know what the bowl is for. Shrek doesn't pick up on the hint, and attempting to be polite, compliments the Queen on the "soup," even using the spoon- once again, trying to conform to the cultural norms of Fiona's parents. However, this time, he's supposed to use his hands and not utensils, as opposed to the escargot, where he was supposed to use utensils and not his hands. The only lines exchanged in these few seconds are:
Fiona: "um, Shrek?" Shrek: "Ohh, sorry. Great soup, Mrs. Q." Fiona: "No no no, darling."
However, through the action and the subtext given from the background of the film, the audience knows the tension is heating up. While only a few lines of dialogue are exchanged, we know from the few seconds of the "soup" sequence that Shrek is having more difficulty conforming, Fiona is having more difficulty keeping the peace, and her parents are having more difficulty masking their discomfort. Donkey seems completely oblivious to the conflict, paradoxically heightening it through contrast.
Queen Lilian starts the first actual conversation of the scene, a minute and 22 seconds in. She asks Shrek and Fiona where they live. As the audience, we know that they live in a swamp, but Shrek and Fiona don't want to say that because they want to appease Fiona's parents. Fiona answers, "Shrek owns his own land." This carefully-calculated answer isn't a lie, but it's not the whole truth, either. "Land" could mean anything, and the idea that Shrek owns land is an attempt to present the idea that Shrek is assimilated into the dominant culture. As ogres are presented as second-class (or should we say Shrekond-class) citizens in the Shrek universe, the idea that Shrek owns land may communicate that he is wealthy and conventionally successful, and is able to climb the social ladder and provide Fiona with the life her parents wanted for her.
Shrek, still nervous but playing along with what Fiona has laid out for him, confirms that they live in an "enchanted forest, abundant with squirrels and cute little duckies." Again, this is an attempt to console FIona's parents. But Donkey, unaware of what's going on, interrupts with, "what? I know you ain't talking about the swamp!"
Another domino falls as Shrek attempts to silence Donkey, but Harold latches onto this line, instead of keeping up the crumbling façade that everyone else (sans Donkey) is trying to uphold. Sarcastically, he responds with "an ogre from a swamp? How original," as Donkey laps from his water bowl. Now that Fiona's parents have acknowledged Shrek and Fiona as "living in a swamp," it becomes even harder to diffuse tension, as this is something they find undesirable. Because Donkey has confirmed it, Shrek and Fiona also can't fall back on the "enchanted forest" excuse they used earlier; it also affirms the stereotype for Harold that ogres live in swamps. Through his “how original” line, Harold is commenting that Shrek is not assimilated and fits the mold of a stereotypical ogre- perhaps suggesting he believes him to fit other ogre stereotypes, such as being monstrous, crude, or aggressive.
Despite the fact that Harold is now fully committed to heightening the tension, Lilian still attempts to resolve it- deepening their own rift of conflict. She comments that it will be a "fine place to raise the children," trying to reconstruct the idea that Shrek and Fiona can still live the nuclear family life that she wants for her daughter. However, this is immediately shattered, as Shrek and Harold- shown again from opposite ends of the table- choke on their food in shock- Shrek because he and Fiona are not interested in having children at the moment, and Harold because he doesn't want his daughter having children with Shrek.
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To recap, before the dinner, Shrek and Fiona shattered two of the King and Queen's expectations: 1. Fiona has married Shrek, an ogre. 2. Fiona is now an ogre herself. However, at the dinner- a minute and 53 seconds in- they have shattered three more of their desires for Fiona's married life:
Shrek, Fiona's husband, cannot perform conformity through manners and etiquette.
Shrek and Fiona live in a swamp, and not somewhere expected for a prince and princess.
Shrek and Fiona are not currently interested in having children and raising a traditional nuclear family- and if they did have children, they would be ogres.
From here, the tension still keeps rising, and the scene is only a little over halfway through. We get another POV shot from Shrek's perspective, as he coughs up the spoon- the symbol of performing that etiquette- and it bounces across the table towards Harold. Fiona, Lilian, and Donkey all look at Shrek in surprise; Harold looks at him in disgust.
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Shrek continues to express his discomfort while being polite, saying it's a bit early to be thinking about children. Harold makes no attempt to hide his prejudice, saying "indeed; I just started eating," blatantly implying that the idea of Shrek and Fiona having children revolts him. Lilian responds with an irritated "Harold!" and Fiona says "Dad, it's okay," but Shrek has refused to let go of the argument, feeling insulted. He responds with "what's that supposed to mean?", trying to force Harold to voice his prejudices expressly.
The argument is now in full swing. Harold responds to Fiona (while gesturing at Shrek with the spoon) with "for his type, yes;" Shrek answers angrily with "my type?" Harold hasn't yet explicitly voiced that he doesn't like Shrek because he's an ogre, but at this point, it's completely obvious. Donkey finally picks up on the tension and excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but returns quickly to the table as the main course is brought in. Harold and Shrek glare at each other from across the table as the background music picks up into a waltz and the camera shows the waiters walking around the table with an elaborate meal- the setting of an upscale royal dinner is more forcibly established, but Harold and Shrek are no longer interested in playing up appearances.
Lilian and Donkey see an opportunity to make one final attempt to diffuse tension with the arrival of the meal- Donkey jokes, "Mexican food, my favorite!" (despite the meal resembling a Medieval European-style feast) and Lilian encourages everyone to eat, which Donkey enthusiastically agrees to. However, Harold and Shrek refuse to let the argument go.
Harold violently grabs a lobster from the table, saying, "I expect any grandchildren from you would be..." and Shrek grabs his own plate, angrily responding, "ogres, yes." Shrek is the one to drop the word "ogre,” which everyone has mostly been avoiding this whole time (aside from Harold’s “ogre from a swamp” line). In this, he displays he's unashamed of the fact he and Fiona are ogres, a pointed insult towards Harold, who is clearly prejudiced against them but refuses to say so explicitly.
Lilian cuts in with a "not that there's anything wrong with that," and then a pointed, "right, Harold?" She's still trying to downplay the conversation and keep the peace, while wanting to communicate to Shrek and Fiona (especially Fiona) that she's not prejudiced against them, (even if she is, albeit to a lesser extent than Harold). Harold then makes an explicitly prejudiced statement relying on stereotypes of ogres- "No, no- that is, if you don't eat your own young!" while slicing through the lobster with his knife.
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Fiona responds with a shocked, "Dad!" before Shrek fires his own retort- "we usually prefer the ones who have been locked away in a tower!" and tears apart the roast turkey on his side of the table, biting into it forcefully- a show of rejection against the etiquette he has been expected to display. As we know from previous context, this line is a thinly-veiled insult at Harold and Lilian, who had locked Fiona in a tower throughout her childhood and adolescence. Furthermore, Shrek is here communicating that Harold is a hypocrite- he criticizes Shrek's ability to be a parent, but also neglected his own daughter.
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Fiona gives an angry "Shrek, please!", but Harold immediately picks up on the barb, responding with "I only did that because I loved her!" From there, the argument fully escalates, turning physical as a food fight breaks out. As both Shrek and Harold fully disregard manners and social etiquette, poor Lilian sadly remarks, "it's so nice to have the family together for dinner" with a distraught look on her face as food flies past her. The argument culminates in Shrek and Harold fighting over a roast pig and the characters all shouting each other's names in a last-ditch attempt to stop the fighting (and Donkey shouting his own for comic relief). As we get a final shot of the destroyed dinner scene, Fiona- who has attempted to mediate the argument this whole time- runs out without a word, as both Harold and Shrek give each other angry glances.
From here, the rest of the film unpacks and resolves the arguments built up in this short three-minute scene. What started as a quiet dinner quickly, but gradually, evolved into a full-blown argument about bigotry, societal norms, and family expectations- all themes that carry the character arcs of Shrek, Fiona, Lilian, and Harold. The genius about this scene is that the tensions were always there from the beginning; the majority of the conflict started before the actual physical fight- happening, as Chekhov said, as "complex and simple as in real life."
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