#showing up late to my own fest with this post lol

[homosociallyyours]

The Surprise Party

by homosociallyyours multi, 400 words, E

Harry gets surprised with 30 dirty firsts on his birthday.

Written for @dirtythirtyfest

[helluvapurf]

Thoughts on latest HB ep "Ghostf**kers" (*now that I've regained a bit more energy post-Halloween weekend lol*):

So the newest ep of HB has came & went from what I've seen- aaaand naturally feels like the best time for me to finally ramble about it now that its settled in my brain some more .3. Thoughts (+Spoilers) below~ NOTE: Most of this -does- get a lil rant-y below sooo... read at your own risk lol .w.;;

First things out of the way to start things off on a good note, the Pros:

To start off with... FINALLY we got some Millie focus for a major episode plot (-or more specifically, focus that doesn't get revolved back to Moxxie somehow lol)😭👏👏. Even if Millie's spotlight here did have to be shared with Blitz for a good chunk of the ep, their friendship was actually genuinely sweet & compelling to watch (esp. their backstory & how Millie was allowed to stand up for herself, give him space, BUT also coming around to acknowledging the good in Blitz, when it all came down to it🥺👏). Which ngl, after these previous episodes reigning down HARD on this dude... idk, just felt refreshingly wholesome to see for this series, yknow?😊

New villain Rolando was pretty cool, and surprisingly spooky to watch as the second-half went on oml- .o.;; While I'm still a teensy bit confused how his powers/demon lore work (at least to what we already know about Hell limitations crossing to the human world, ex. succubi & their crystals), his underwater monster vibe gave some fun visuals to watch up until the climax. I'm not 100% familiar with John Waters' works, but damnnn he should take up voice-acting more often ngl~ 👀

FINALLY MAMA TILLA MAKES AN (on-screen) APPEARANCE 😭😭Her whole vibe & Blitz's clear love and regret over what happened to her... hhhhh my whole heart ;n; 💔

That pink client lady (Rita, I think her name is?) who assigned the hotel mission? I dig her vibe, its cute~ :3

I.M.P. feeling like a legitimate workplace family for once, with even Loona & Moxxie getting a nice lil moment towards the end?? More. Of this. Please. 👌👌

Even with the lil undertones of the Stol*itz drama from the past couple eps, I very much appreciate Blitz (+the show itself) acknowledging that what's been going is NOT a breakup ('cause... yknow, they never actually dated to begin with lol🤷‍♀️). It may not 100% fix how messy that particular narrative's been handled as of late (which I'll get to in a sec-), but eh... its a start in the right direction, I guess? .3.

Enjoyed all the colorful flashback looks given, never would I have thought I needed mercenary!Millie with a fluffy ponytail til nowww hlkjlk😩❤️

Aaaand as for the not-so-good bits (imo), aka the Cons:

Pacing felt kiiiinda all-over-the-place, I'll admit; like one min we've got a whole intro & a half to deal with Blitz's whining fest (+some other pointless banter at the hotel)... then the next it feels like we're breezing past Rolando's whole presence as the "big bad" villain. Which... idk, I guess I shouldn't be too harsh on given the production drama behind-the-scenes (aka: the leaked content that had to be cut & redone awhile back)... buuuut yeah, its just one of those things you can't help but take notice of, critique-wise lol 🤷‍♀️

The humor wasn't... exactly at its strong point here, mainly just a lil overdone in the sex joke department imo though I guess thats kind of "par-for-the-course" in the Hellaverse series nowadays, so lol

Now, idk if this may be an unpopular opinion or not; but was I the only one who felt like Blitz's month-long mope fest over Stolas was rather... OOC, all things considered? .-. Like, okay its one thing for Blitz to still be (understandably) upset over how the last two eps went down (but being the "boss" he is, continues working anyway to keep I.M.P. afloat, like in the latest HB shorts)... but for Blitz of all people to just randomly use ALL his company's funds on useless junk, force his daughter Loona to stay up all night/not go home, drive Moxxie in a panic from all the budgeting issues this past month was just... wut- 🤦‍♀️ ...Mind you, this is meant to be the SAME Blitz who not even a few episodes ago begged Stolas to not take away the Grimoire (aka the key to his + his employee's livelihood), clearly being willing to do anything to not lose all that he holds dear. You seriously expect me to believe he'd be the type to throw that all away (for a WHOLE month)... all to simply whine over some blue-blooded bird not noticing him? ...Yeaaaaah sorry, but I'm gonna have to call bs on that, chief- 🙄

Kiiiinda tying in the last point, but as much as I enjoyed the tense thills gained from the "Rolando enters Blitz' mind to make him see his own flaws/past mistakes" sequence... I do have a few issues with some of these other "flashbacks" added to the mix: 1) Loona's groin kick towards Blitz in "Seeing Stars" (*wasn't Blitz's fault since ALL he did was tell her to be nice to clients... and was right about to apologize to Loona just seconds before the kick 😒*) 2) Blitz pushing Stolas' hand away in "Ozzies" (*which Blitz only did after Stolas hide his face/didn't defend Blitz during the song*) 3) Stolas' hurt expression at the end van scene of "Ozzie's" (*mind you, taking place while Blitz is rightfully standing up for himself/telling off Stolas for being a privileged creep all of S1*) 4) Stolas trying to present the Asmodean Crystal gift in "Full Moon" (*a whoooole mess in of itself I already covered prior-*) 5) Stolas angrily walking away from their pool fight + trash-talking Blitz in the "Motherf**kers" song + drunkenly dumping his problems on him + making out with a whole other dude in front of Blitz (*again, a huge mess I covered prior but TL;DR... most of that WASN'T fully-Blitz's fault in those instances??😑*)

Like... I dunno man, I don't mean to sound like I'm just ragging on Stolas per-episode as of late... but these last few points just keep giving me mixed signals than any genuine idea as to WHY Blitz even has these "feelings" growing for Stolas, atm?🤨For any canon couple in fiction, I WANT to see reasons for why they work best together, what kind of interests/aspects they've got in-common, what special "spark" is there that helps them stand out above all the other dynamics in-canon... but from what I see so far on Blitz's end (& the narrative continuing to guilt on him being "the problem")... it honestly feels more like he's only now fallen for Stolas out of pity... not because of any genuine affection or attraction :/ Which... ngl, sounds like a really sad precedent to send for a main-endgame couple, regardless of series genre imo... 🤷‍♀️

-------

Soooo yeah, all that rant-y rambling aside... not a bad ep in the grand scheme of things! 👍👍Here's hoping the last few remaining eps (+possible shorts) for S2 keeps up the good work! 🙏

[alacants]

tennisblr exchange/fest: follow-up poll and questions

thanks to everyone who showed enthusiasm for a potential tennisblr fic/art/fanworks event!!

about 75% of respondents who expressed interest in participating indicated that it would depend on timing and format, so here are some questions about timing and format.

important note: if you too are mainly on tumblr, you should know that there is ALSO a fic exchange happening via the tennis rpf discord!

my Vision was for a multimedia event—currently thinking fic, art, and edits/fanvids tho see below on that—so planning to move forward in some form but when/how is up in the air. open questions about format below the cut—namely, exchange vs fest. thoughts welcome in replies or via dm/ask if you prefer!

i was initially envisioning a classic secret gift exchange via the ao3 platform. (you are matched with a recipient -> you create a gift for them -> you post your gift to the anon exchange collection on ao3 -> the exchange collection goes live -> creator names are revealed.) a few cons here: everyone has to get an ao3 account, ao3 isn't the ideal platform for graphics and video. also depending on how unique your artistic style is, posting anon might be sort of besides the point. lmao.

having said that, the one major advantage ao3 has is great admin tools—particularly, mods/admins can see who has finished and posted their gift. this is important because the worst-case scenario for a gift exchange is that someone ghosts their recipient, and if it's up to each participant to post their work to their own tumblr, this becomes exponentially more likely. no matter how many check-ins there are.

so if it's an exchange ao3 is the way to go. however the other option is NOT an exchange but an open prompt fest, which could also be fun!! i'm personally fond of the exchange format (when you're creating for someone i think you're a little more motivated to think about people/ships/ideas that might not have otherwise occured to you) but maybe we don't need two??? an open fest would also allow for more people to participate on the fly, as irl allows, and potentially for people to create a wider variety of work like moodboards, playlists, etc.

eta: what i mean by open prompt fest: everyone submits prompts (as general or specific as you want, e.g. "anything focused on zhang zhizhen", "sincaraz uni au", "naomi osaka edit to number one fan") -> the mod/admin blog posts all the prompts anonymously -> you create based on whatever prompts inspire you -> you post during the posting period!

this is possibly too deep in the weeds for most people to care lol but if you have thoughts i'd be happy to hear them!

(and yes once timing format etc is decided on there will be a dedicated blog... just waiting to roll that out until further decisions are made. @oof-ouch-yikes-stripes is going to help out with admin and ideally we'll get one more person on board!!)

[kingsofeverything]

Thank you to anyone out there who’s read anything I’ve written, left kudos, commented, or messaged me to chat about anything I’ve written. I appreciate you so much 💛

🟨Remember Me Before You ~294k .E. Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

🟪Spring Fever ~4K .E. Harry’s finally out of the first trimester. He and Louis celebrate.

🟦As You Wish ~25K .E. Harry wished Louis free, and life hasn’t been the same since. Written for @onedirectionbigbang

🟥Southern Comfort ~5K .E. Girl!Direction. At a lavish engagement party thrown by her fiancé’s family, Louis meets what seems like a millions aunts and uncles and cousins, but only one stands out: Harry Styles, a gorgeous brunette in a red dress who makes Louis blush like she might catch fire. Written for @wankersday​.

🟩Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) ~7K .E. Everyone Dreams eventually, and everyone’s Dream is different, but all Dreams have one thing in common: They send the Dreamer on a Quest to find their Magic. It’s been months since Louis started his Quest to live as a hermit in a cave in the middle of the woods and he’s not about to let some new guy disturb his hermitage. Written for @1dastroficfest​

⬜️Just Pretend ~90k .E. Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn’t date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she’s spending the weekend with her mom. Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they’re dating to keep their kids happy. Written for @1dsilverfoxfest​

🟧honey, honey 100 words .NR. a villanelle style poem and drabble inspired by the song “Daylight” and written for @harryshouseficfest​

🟨Late Night Talking ~50k .E. Louis Tomlinson has a new album coming out and a second world tour on the horizon. Promo season gets underway with a stop at Late Night Talking, the late night show hosted by Harry Styles, and Harry Styles just happens to be the man who blew a chance to date Louis a decade ago. Written for the @1dreversebang based on the prompt and gorgeous gifs by @deludedandlostcause

🟦Midnight ~10k .E. “Alphas are for fucking and pheromones,” Louis said during their first conversation, when he was moving into the building and Harry offered to help haul boxes up the stairs. “I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.” Louis relented when his Omega friend Zayn intervened and asked if he was also capable of moving his couch by himself. All Harry’d wanted to do was be a good neighbor. Now, here he is, half a year later, balls deep and four months into a no strings attached, sex only situation with the Omega of his dreams. He’s still not sure how it happened.

The rest of my Annual* Writing Self-Evaluation is under the cut:

It's been a weird year for me w/r/t fic writing! I wrote my longest fic so far by very much a lot. It was a labor of love and for most of the 8ish months I was writing it, I was feeling very down about my skills and writing in general, but I was having fun with turning New Girl into a larry fic, so I carried on, and I came out the other side ok I guess?

I modded our yearly @wankersday fest and the @harryshouseficfest despite promising myself I'd only do wankfest, and the stress of it solidified that decision lol. No more modding for me (except wankfest).

I wrote 9 fics this year, the lowest number of fics per year since my first year writing, and I posted my first ever fic in October and still wrote 5 fics that year. 6 of my 9 fics this year were for fests. That's more pressure than I usually like to put on myself, but I survived, and here's what my year looked like:

Number of stories posted this year: 9

Word count posted this year: 490,127

Stories with the most:

Kudos: Remember Me Before You (713)

Comment threads: RMBY (656)

Bookmarks: RMBY (605)

Work you are most proud of (and why):

Remember Me Before You my New Girl AU, more than twice as long as the next longest thing I've written, it's really just a love letter to the show. Posting it as a WIP while I finished the last bit was daunting because it's the first time I've done a WIP that wasn't complete before I started posting, but it was so fun! The comments fueled me and I loved chatting with you guys as it was going. Some of you were already New Girl fans, some hadn't seen the show, some starting watching it because of my fic??? it was an experience!

Work you are least proud of (and why):

Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) for the @1dastroficfest. It was tough to get started and I think I tried like 4 different ideas for that prompt (The Hermit tarot card), but then Megan @homosociallyyours was like 'what if you took it very literally' and thankfully that worked! This was the first time I've ever been legitimately worried about meeting a deadline.

A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I'm never any good at picking snippets. I usually ask Nic @louandhazaf to assist, but this is part of a snippet I posted earlier this year, so... this is from Just Pretend, my older, divorced larry meet and decide to fake a relationship for their kids fic for @1dsilverfoxfest

According to his mom, he started flirting at two days old, and he’s only gotten better over the last forty-five years. Harry's had about that long to earn a doctorate in dimples. He wields them as he moves closer, pressing his chest against Louis’ palm and lifting his left hand to cradle Louis’ jaw. Cool despite the heat they’ve borrowed from his body, the touch of Harry's rings sends a shiver down Louis’ spine. His heart beats harder as he leans in. 

Louis’s never been a fan of tequila, but the sweet, peppery liquor is hardly perceptible under the taste of lime on Harry's tongue and the swirling, spicy scent of his sweat, deodorant and cologne. Three in the morning is only marginally cooler than midday and after working all night, Louis is damp with sweat and beer and he smells like it. Thankfully, Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He cups the side of Louis’ neck, fingertips toying with the ends of Louis’ silver hair, tickling and sending a thrill through him as he inches closer.

Grabbing hold of Harry's hips, Louis shifts his stance, stepping one foot between Harry's and sliding a hand around to splay across his lower back under the blousy hem of his half-buttoned shirt. Tilting his head, their noses bump, and Harry pulls back, wet lips parted, panting. Louis hardly has time to breathe before Harry guides him into another kiss, holding him so tightly that his forearm presses between Louis’ shoulder blades while his hand cups Louis’ neck. 

Hunching over Louis, his other hand tight on his hip, Harry bends him backwards—dipping him as if they were dancing—and Louis gasps into Harry's mouth. Hungrily, Harry sucks kisses over Louis’ jaw, down his neck to the hollow of his throat, dragging plush lips over the rough two-day beard Louis hasn’t bothered to shave before setting Louis back on his feet. 

Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i can't pick one. i'm terrible at picking favorites! but i will say that every person who read rmby as a wip and commented as they went, you guys are the real mvps of my 2022 fic experience.

A time when writing was really, really hard:

all year. no joke. and i know it seems stupid to say because i've posted almost half a million words this year, but i struggled to enjoy writing for much of this year. deadlines really fuck with my head, so i'm hoping to avoid those next year

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

my entire fic for @wankersday in may. it's my first ever time writing girl!direction so i was very nervous and the whole thing surprised me while i was writing it and it continues to surprise me whenever i remember it exists

How did you grow as a writer this year:

idk man. i wrote a kid fic! and i wrote girl!direction. so that's 2 never before things in 2022

How do you hope to grow next year:

tbh i hope to grow in my ability to experience fomo and live with it. i hope to continue to strengthen my ability to say no lol. i'm only planning on writing for wankfest this year, so who knows what'll happen

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

nic @louandhazaf is always in this spot. she's my #1, my best friend, the other half of my brain, and the only reason i write

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

doesn't it always? though tbh nothing specific i can think of at the moment

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

just write. and listen to @roseanddaggerpodcast :D

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am going back to school in january, so fic writing is being bumped way down the list of my priorities for 2023. like i said above, i only plan to write for @wankersday in may, but tbh idk if i'll be able to. Other than that, I’m looking forward to recording @roseanddaggerpodcast

Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

well, i drafted this post weeks ago lol and since then i've been tagged by @larryyouknow @jacaranda-bloom @louistomlionson @allwaswell16 @haztobegood @louandhazaf @chai-hat-tea @larrysballetslippers and i'll also tag

@londonfoginacup @bananaheathen @disgruntledkittenface @fallinglikethis @sadaveniren @jaerie @lululawrence @absoloutenonsense @alwaysxlarrie @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @cyantific @littleroverlouis @onlythebravest and if i tagged you in an answer above, consider yourself tagged here as well

*All answers should be about works published in 2022

[theendofeverafter]

Apple White: A Character Study (Chapter 3)

We’re back in business!

I watched Spring Unsprung last night intending to write a separate post about it, but I realized a few minutes in that it wouldn’t make for a good solo post. Apple spends the majority of the special under the topsy-turvy spell, meaning she wasn’t acting of her own free will and can’t really be held responsible for what she did or said (nor can we examine her character). So I’ve decided to combine Spring Unsprung and Way Too Wonderland into one post. That one will be coming soon. For now, please enjoy my write-up of Apple’s character in Chapter 3.

CHAPTER 3

(Side note: why has it taken me until now to realize Raven’s makeup is the best in the show? Suits her perfectly.)

(Side note: if Ashlynn lateness curse is tied to noon, not midnight, how was that ever going to work with her story? Was the ball gonna be a brunch? An afternoon tea party?)

I think it’s interesting (and a good character choice) to have Apple help Ashlynn work around the rules of her destiny. While Briar is ready to yank the stepsisters off the stage, Apple uses her clever nature to make the best of the situation. But she never tells Ashlynn that she shouldn’t have to wait on her stepsisters, especially since they’re so mean to her. This also makes me wonder (a bit off topic) why Ashlynn, now a rebel, has to listen to what they say. Is it a magical constraint? Is it learned behavior that she’s having trouble letting go of?

(Side note: WHO is Duchess’s mans? 🤨)

(Side note: THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED)

I still don’t know what to make of Apple and Ashlynn’s friendship. I know that Apple has been close friends with Briar and Blondie for a long time, and Ashlynn and Briar have known each other since nursery (rhyme) school, but it seems like Ashlynn and Apple didn’t have a lot of interaction until they started at Ever After High. Adding the strain on their friendship that occurred during True Hearts’ Day (and Apple’s mini-feud with Briar during Thronecoming), it’s surprising to see them chumming it up so much in these episodes—and that Apple was the first person Ashlynn wanted to take with her. Perhaps she was being nice because Apple was right there?

Apple seeing a movie with Daring, hm…

(Side note: sorrynotsorry I love these besties)

(Side note: tbh I prefer Ashlynn’s original voice actress, but Karen Strassman still does a great job)

(Side note: Dexter was TRIFLING for asking Raven out in front of Cupid lmaooooo)

Bruh the way Apple is cringing at Raven and Dexter’s awkwardness is so funny. At least she’s being supportive!

(Side note: idk how anyone could hate Raven and Dexter together tbh, they’re so cute)

“I say we pitch in and do something!” Apple says. (30 minutes later) “We just have to be patient and think positive thoughts”

How did Apple still manage to go to the Forest Fest :////

Junior year! Arguably Apple’s worst. She was immature as a sophomore, but the events of Dragon Games are tough to beat. Let’s see how her character changes after summer break.

Apple volunteering Raven to work on the yearbook instead of asking her first…hm…

I can’t fault Apple for not wanting to look bad in the yearbook. Have you taken a look inside yours from high school or college? That shit looks BAD. And she’s supposed to be the future queen of Ever After. That’s prime gossip rag material right there.

(Side note: Raven’s response to seeing Poppy and Duchess flail through the air was to take a picture instead of using her powers to help them lol)

(Side note: I must point out that in my story Poppy and Sparrow used to be a thing, and now Duchess and Sparrow…Poppy definitely seems like the kind of person to be chill about those sorts of things. Not Duchess though 😂)

(Side note: Bunny and Alistair really got their own episode 🙄 thankfully Kitty has had enough of hetero nonsense and is our sole source of entertainment here)

(Another side note, I know: do Maddie and Kitty not feel any existential dread at the fact that the narrators can alter and rewind their lives? Make them do things they don't want to do? Change their relationships with the people around them? Isn't that a gross violation of their personhood?)

Why is Bunny Apple’s wicket keeper?

Was that Apple’s first detention?

This is probably my favorite picture of Apple and Raven:

(Side note: She’s here she’s amazing we love her)

Wow, Apple and Raven finally learned to get along. What a surprise

(Side note: for story purposes I cannot support the last scene of Tri-Castle-On…except that most of the kids featured there could be the children of the endgame pairings I have in my story) SPOILERS BELOW

Idk who the person with gray hair would be (though I have a few ideas), but from left to right: Raven and Dexter, Chase and Justine, Duchess and Sparrow

CONCLUSION

You can see instances of Apple slowly starting to adapt her Royal ideology to be a better friend, which is good. I don't know what would have sparked this change over summer break, but I'm sure people like Ashlynn, Briar, and Raven really appreciated it. It seems like she was on an upward trend until the Big Event of junior year, which is a little heartbreaking.

Previous reviews: Legacy Day/Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Thronecoming

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Your answer to anon's question about your favorite character makes me wonder: what was you first incest ship? Also, do you think there's a particular reason this kind shipping that piqued your interest?

oh you’re so silly, my first naughty ship was Sirius/Regulus of course!

but now that I think about it, it was sort of a weird winding journey to get there 🤔

I think like a lot of people I had a bit of a crush on Sirius black as a child, so he was my favorite Harry Potter character from early on, and then when I started flittering about the internet looking for fan content, I gravitated towards him

one of the first fics I ever wrote was Unable are the Loved to Die and that was wayyyy back in…oof, 2005? Between Books 5 & 6, sometime when I was either in late elementary school or early middle school. And contrary to the fic’s final form on FF.net a few years later, it was originally….not overtly incestuous 😝 I think I *wanted* it to be though. Because it still *felt* that way, my preteen brain probably just hadn’t really realized just what it was I wanted to explore.

then I discovered LiveJournal, a little past its prime unfortunately, but back then a lot of accounts and blogs were still up so I dove in *deep* and ended up finding a Sirius Black big bang that I gobbled up, and it was all pretty normal gen or Sirius/Remus stuff (that pairing was called “puppy shipping” back then)….until…the last posted fic in the fest showed up, which was written by a woman named Annie who, according to her LJ, was a classic lit major (We can already tell this is a dangerous combination for someone as pretentious as me).

her fic was called Palimpsest and it had the most gorgeous art by a creator called magrat_me. It was also explicit Sirius/Regulus, the first I’d ever seen. And I fell SO HARD in love with it.

the fact that the first incest fic I read was so beautifully crafted and written by someone with actual literature experience was probably a big factor in why the pairing stuck with me so hard. I bounced from that author’s profile to a bunch of other LJ folks with similar levels of syrupy, pretentious, flowery writing styles and in the course of like a week I think I read every Sirius/Regulus and James/Regulus fic on the site

I wish I could have chatted more with that author because everything I’ve ever written has literally been her fault. But she was a real adult and had clearly moved on from most of LJ and fandom by the time I found her stuff so I just sort of lurked. I did reach out once, years later when I saw the links to Palimpsest were broken and I felt like I might *die* because of it. (Idiot me hadn’t yet learned the hard lesson of saving online content.) And she was sweet enough to not only respond to a DM on a site she hadn’t touched in years but also to resend me the fic 😭 which I now guard quite closely, it’s not gonna get away from me again lol

after my fall into degeneracy I actually went back and changed that first fic I wrote, Unable are the loved to die. It’s properly cesty now, as it was always meant to be 😅

modern discussions about the morality of consuming questionable fiction and protecting children from iffy fic content and such always seems so alien to me because it never came up in my own formative fandom years. (I’m sure it was around, I just skirted by it.) no one anywhere at any point in time in my early days of hoovering up every Sirius/Regulus fic I could find mentioned anything about it being “wrong”. So I never internalized any guilt or shame or confusion. When teenage-me realized how dark my fiction preferences were turning it seemed pretty clear why.

I just find it interesting. I have a pretty normal and stable life, and so the darker and more bizarre corners of humanity are fascinating in a way that happiness just isn’t. “Well adjusted person lives life of moral correctness” is just zero percent interesting to me. And I’ve never felt it went deeper than that.

I’ve always been confident in my ability to consume media critically, and without the need for the works themselves to guide me directly towards the correct opinion. Looking back now this is largely thanks to my mother and her willingness to share any book with me that I wanted to read, and get me to any film I wanted to see. Sometimes things would be scary or wrong or offensive but that just meant it was time to think about *why* and get some good practice handling those feelings.

my family doesn’t read my fanfiction, but they all *know*. My partner in particular is a pretty good sport, love him lol. But my mother has read a bit of my original fiction, which is all just as deranged. And the only question she’s ever asked in response to forty chapters of brothers fucking and murdering each other is: “when are you going to get off your ass and publish something people can buy?”

now that I’ve spewed out an entire confessional on how I became infected with a fifteen year-long Sirius/Regulus brain rot and then diverged into a topic you didn’t even *ask* about…how about you?

let me know if your journey was just as crazy or if you’re a normal person 😅

[kanmom51]

JM DID post for JK’s birthday

Good morning to all.

And a good morning indeed.

I went to sleep last night (more like at 1:30 am after JK’s live) thinking:

“No, this can’t be.  There is no way in hell that JM didn’t wish JK a happy birthday online”. 

I mean, even if I would have thought JM didn’t wish JK happy birthday privately (which I didn’t), JK let us all know that JM was there, came to him, home, to wish him happy birthday.

But JM never, I mean NEVER missed wishing JK a happy birthday for us.  

Yes, for us.

Cause we know he did it in person, it’s written black on white a couple of lines up and I sure did post it the second I saw it last night o his live.

Coming online, saying happy birthday to JK, that’s not for JK, that’s for us.

So, JM not sending JK wishes for his birthday, I won’t lie, I was disappointed to say the least.

Oh ye of little faith.

Shame on me.

Shame.

How could I have so little faith in our JM, JK’s Jiminnie.

If only I would have waited up for another hour or so...

Cause JM...

JM he never fails, never faulters and NEVER misses posting a blessing for JK’s birthday.

* Disclaimer:  all times showing are my times, I state the KST in my post.

“Happy birthday to my/our dongsaeng”.

To those that still wonder what dongsaeng means, yet again:

This isn’t JK blowing out his birthday candles on live.

He’s not wearing the same outfit either.

That is, for those who wonder.

This is a different moment JM’s posting.  Telling us, I was there first?  Lol.

JM posted on 2/9/22 at 00:43 (KST), 12:43 am.

You’d think that’s the end of it.

All satisfied, JK did a live, JK told us JM came to see him, JM told us just the same, a little late to the party (or was he?)...

But no, it wasn’t.

*Another disclaimer: I’m assuming the order of these next two posts only because that’s the order they appear in my notifications.  

Cause 2 minutes later...2 minutes.. 2/9/22 at 00:45 (KST), 12:45 am, JM came back right at us...

Notice there is no use of of the word dongsaeng when JM’s talking about Hobi’s wishes.

As much as he says “our dongsaeng” in his first post, in his previous one too, from 31.8.22, I guess that he’s keeping the use of the term dongsaeng all to himself.  

I was thinking to myself: why did JM post the second post of Hobi?

There are 3 options I can think of:

First would be that I guess JM realised showing us a photo of JK in the dark without context was too much for our little minds to take, so he made sure to show us that under those specific circumstances, the ones where he took the photo of him blowing out the candles, Hobi was there with them, lol;

Second would be showing us the photo, showing us that Hobi was there with them, kind of tells us this all happened the previous night, as Hobi was out with RM on JK’s birthday night.

Third: he, or more so, they were fooling around (fast forward to Hobi’s comment...), “having fun”.

I’d say t’s either of those or all of them together, lol.

Not over folks...the story ain’t over yet.

Cause same minute exactly JM’s posting Hobi’s beautiful eyes,  JK comes back to us too...

JK posted 2/9/22 at 00:45 KST, 12:45 am.

This isn’t right after JK’s live.

It’s not a few minutes after.

This is over half an hour after he ends it, more like an hour and a half.  So, what was he waiting for?

Perhaps for one last birthday blessing...

You know...the one that came two minutes before his own post...

And then, coincidently he posts at the same exact minute JM posts his second post for the day.

A coincidence indeed.

One of those to add to the pantheon of JM and JK coincidences...

But wait...

Who better to say this than JM himself?

I guess we’ll never know who the first one to press send was.  You know, JK uploading 2 photos might have taken a couple seconds more than JM’s one photo, so maybe he was the one to post first...don’t know and doesn’t really matter now, does it?

Not finished here folks...

Because then we have this too, in reply to JM’s post with Hobi’s photo:

That’s Weverse translation that is a little different than Papago:

Now, didn’t I always say that Hobi is the founding member of the Jikook fan club?  And don’t I always say that Hobi is also the big bean spiller?

Well, I know it’s not as clear cut as some of his other mess ups, but...

Hobi’s comment: “you look like you’re having a lot of fun” 

Hmm...

Is this Hobi commenting on JM’s 00:45 post talking only to JM or is he actually talking to the two people that posted at the same exact minute?

I’ll leave it with you to decide.

Ok, so JM he’s the one to open the birthday celebrations with his 31 August post and the one to close the celebrations with his 2 September one.  Quite the event organizer JM is, lol.

I personally do have thoughts as to why JM posted when he did, not earlier.  At this point I’m going to keep them to myself though (I know, I know, not very nice of me, but it is what it is, lol).

I’ll leave you with this...just cause they are so goddamn cute...

[pumpkinpot]

MHA at a CON or FEST

Hi, so over the last couple day I have been going to the local Fan-con in my state and I was curious while there what some of the MHA characters would be like as panel or meet and greet guests and you as a vendor. 

Hawks- He is a fan favorite. For him I’d imagine the tickets to meet him would sell out almost immediately and if someone was lucky to catch one late, it would likely be from a peddler outside the stadium. He is so good with his fans very professional in his hero costume, taking pictures and signing things. (he kind of has to be.) As sort of a subliminal messaging thing, he’d keep some of your merch just strewn on his table, like it was just left there and would send feathers to you periodically throughout the day to let you know he’s thinking about you, or has some major tea about a crazed fan. You’ll know which depending on the frantic-ness of the delivery. 

Mirkou- She is so unashamed about her nerdiness. You cannot convince me you two don’t ren and, "women with swords" is her aesthetic. So don’t expect her in her hero costume. Not the one she actually works in at least. Her meet and greet costume is a modified knight-core version with chainmail and leather. She had a special bit of her armor etched with a little symbol of your two’s design. like a crest of your love... lol... nerds.... Preferably she can see your table from where she is, so she can point you out as her (royal title). “for I am their knight, and they are my Queen/King” is what she says all Stokely. Don’t expect to much professionalism from her, she’s too excited.  

Aizawa- How TF someone got him to do a meet and greet is beyond me, but he’s not happy about it. Its too loud, too crowded and he’s often asking himself why this big of an event is important to hero work and if its safe to have so many heroes in one place. (its a pretty big target.) But he’s amiable enough. He does it mostly because some of his students are there and so are you. At first he’s rather fitful, but when a little kid hands him a picture of a kitten drawn by them he softens. Its a complete coincidence he became the children's favorite. Parents wondering why their child chose a homely gremlin over Hawks. When he has any time free he’s watching you wow people with your own products just in awe of your passion, but behind that is a small excitement building for the epic sleep that yall are having tonight after such an involved day. 

Bakugou- You cannot convince me he isn’t into this. For a couple reasons. One he gets to show off a little bit. I feel like the Bakugou that would get big enough to have a meet and greet is not the “I’m better than everyone,” guy we’re used to, but he does like the idea of seeing what kinds of people flock to him. It’s def not what he expected. Book nerds, and introverts. If you’d have told him that was his fan base, he’d have laughed in your face, but now that he’s seeing it with his own eyes the pieces start to click. its very “every Hufflepuff needs a Slytherin” vibe. (though I don’t think Bakugou is a Slytherin, different post different time.) He actually begins to enjoy the time. Its not as loud as the other panels despite the doubled mass at his stand. When he has any time away from the greet table he’s with you, checking out the food truck district. of course their is a radius so he’s not swarmed, but he does tip the staff really really well.

Midoryia- Despite going to so many cons for Allmight stuff when faced with his own booth, and seeing his own fan art, Midoryia becomes very, very overwhelmed. This results in a lot of check ins with you and sloppy smiled pictures. It’s not that he tries to be awkward, but people constantly telling him how much they love him makes him wonder if he ever became so overbearing to his mentor. After a while you make some arrangements to move your booth into veiw of his and after that, his demeanor completely changes. Not having to stare at the art booth with only his face in various mediums staring back at him, but you with your passion sprawled out across a table and your friendly smile. It gives him courage to relax a little. Overall he’ll only do those kinds of events if you are there. If you’re not public with your relationship, how long will it take the public to realize you’re always so close?

Ochako- Baby girl is eating it up! Not because of the crowd per say, but because of the smiles. She’s had to use her quirk to save lives so many times, I could see her floating peoples hair and floating up to make funny faces behind people in photos. Her and some of the other hero's decided to get in on a corner of the meet and greets together so they can interact with fans together. (photobombing each others pics and such.) When she has the time she’ll sneak off to you with a churro in each hand with a social battery check in and a mandatory water check. If you’re feeling drained she’ll ask one of her assistants to watch your booth while she floats you both somewhere to watch the crowd from above.  

Mina- She is too hype for the occasion. Her and Ochako def got a space near each other. She goes above and beyond for her fans, decorating her whole booth in flower vines and twinkle lights. she did it for the gram for sure. She is great with her people and loves to ask them actual questions when they meet her. “how are you really babydoll?”, “tell me about your day.” and is the queen of complements. when she’s on break she’s with you hyping up your booth to anyone within hearing distance. “hey! have you all seen how amazing my love is?!” she def is out here to do the most in the best way.

Kirishima- Baby boy is nervous. He’ll never admit it if not forced, but he’s never been to an event like this, as a guest or greeter and the sheer magnitude of it all is.. daunting. It isn’t until he sits down and actually people watches the line of fans ready to meet him does he calm down. specifically a little boy with foam hands of his signature fist to fist in hardened mode. (Like the Thanos gauntlet you can buy at walmart) The kid was so excited to meet his favorite “shark” and it was that day that Kiri saw how far that comparison (him to a shark) actually went. He overall realizes his fan base is mostly made up of people like him. People who didn’t feel like they had the right bits in their bones to fit into society. He loved being that oddball for them. At lunch he sneaks away with you to eat junky foods hidden in an empty stage room or somewhere secluded. He’s got so many stories about so many cool people and keeps a copy of the pictures of his favorite fans for himself. to remind him why he does what he does. 

[arse-crack-thistle]

gifts

rwrb and the five love languages | part two

in which june struggles to have a nice valentine’s date with nora

June never expected to care this much about a stupid holiday like Valentine’s Day, but here she is, practically renovating the apartment to give her girlfriend a perfect night. She strings LED lights around the entire living room ceiling and uses Command hooks to drape the sheer, white Ikea curtains she bought on sale months ago in preparation for this. The lights glow pink through the curtains, making the usually neutral-toned living room appear like Aphrodite’s palace. June’s moved the coffee table into her room and replaced it with a fluffy blanket and a picnic set-up to rival TikTok lesbians.  All she needs now is Nora, if only she weren’t stuck at school.

The texts say, Will be late! Data mining for the gods! [Monet X Change gif] I want to be home with you though. Will bring noodles! And chocolate! Scratch that, I ate the chocolate. Sorry.

June knows she shouldn’t be annoyed because Nora has no idea what she’s coming home to. She also knows who she got into a relationship with—a brilliant mind that’s constantly moving parsecs a minute and has a hard time communicating her feelings. June has to remind herself that Nora loves her even if she doesn’t always show it.

That’s what tonight is for. It’ll give them time to slow down and just be together. Break the routine. Talk or not talk. She doesn’t expect it to be mushy or obnoxious—June isn’t a super, flowery romantic herself—but she does want another sentimental moment to hold onto forever.

Like the night of the 2020 election over a year ago. After Alex and Henry slipped away and everyone else was celebrating in their own groups, Nora pulled June into a storage closet at the venue and kissed her point blank, leaving no questions in her mind that their dabbles the months before meant something more than spectacular.

Or like six months ago when Nora asked her if she wanted to move in with her. She didn’t do anything particularly special, but she slammed her laptop shut while June was throwing on one of her sweatshirts and asked her to stay—to take the second bedroom because Nora needs space sometimes—but to stay with her because she was her favorite person. June answered with a happy “yes,” and Nora got up and kissed her. They didn’t talk much more about it; June just packed up her room at the White House and let the world think they were very best friends.

June pours a glass of wine and waits on the couch, flipping through social media. A few hours ago, her brother posted a picture from the Valentine’s gala he and Henry threw for the London queer youth center. Alex, Henry, Bea, Catherine, and even Philip and Martha hold champagne flutes with cheeky smiles on their faces. The POTUS account has a sweet yet posed picture of her mother and Leo. She likes everything she sees, from the various celebrities she follows to the photos she’s tagged in by fans. The time on her phone reminds her Nora’s now over an hour late.

She texts her, Home soon?

Ten minutes later her phone dings. Need more time. Almost done!

You are aware it’s Valentine’s, yes? And that we had plans?

Yes!!!! But flexible plans, right? Not like we can’t eat noodles and make out later. Will leave soon though. Promise.

I got food covered. Just get home please.

June sighs. She thought she made it clear this morning that they deserved a night with no distractions. God, they need to talk; she’s afraid to, but nothing will get better if she doesn’t say anything and if they don’t try.

The charcuterie board spread she copied off of Pinterest has been sitting out for a while so she moves it from the floor to the fridge. “Soon” for Nora could mean an hour. Empty coffee mugs line the sink. An open pack of weed gummies sits on the counter, hardening. Binders of paperwork and schoolwork collect on the kitchen table. There’s so much Nora in here. June redecorated the living room and kitchen when she moved in, but Nora’s managed to touch everything.

She smiles. If this were Alex, she’d be pissed at the mess, but it’s Nora. The beautiful, erratic mess that is Nora. The girl who can have four different shows on at once and can still get shit done. The girl who always burns pancakes when she tries to cook breakfast for June. The girl who never fails to kiss her first.

June won’t lose her. So she sits down on the floor, runs her fingers over the fleece, and waits. And drinks more wine.

Sometime later, when a key turns in the lock, she downs the last sip in her glass and sets it down. Some old love songs play from her phone, the ones she and Nora love to make fun of. She hears her girlfriend curse when her key gets stuck, and then she bursts through the door and catches herself before she could slip on the hardwood.

“I know you said you got food covered, but I got noodles any—Whoa! You did all of this?” Nora walks into the living room with takeout bags in her hands and stares, mesmerized, at the ceiling. Her contacts must’ve been bothering her because she has on her back-up glasses.

“Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day,” June says and reaches for Nora’s hand to pull her down.

“I’m sorry, June. I had no idea. I thought we both hated this holiday, so tonight wasn’t that big of a deal. But this—this is beautiful,” Nora says, having a hard time meeting June’s eyes.

“Thanks.” June rubs Nora’s hand with her thumb. “And this isn’t really about the holiday. I just wanted to give something nice to you—to us—just us. With no distractions.”

The strings from “At Last” by Etta James play from the phone. The curtains billow from the air blowing out the vent. As much as she hates to ruin the moment, June has to start the conversation.

But Nora takes a deep breath and talks first. “I know I’m a bit all over the place but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I just have a lot going on.”

“I know, but sometimes it feels like you don’t care about us as much as I do. It feels like an afterthought to you,” June says.

“That’s not true, June! Come on! You know me.” She grabs June’s other hand and squeezes.

She squeezes back. “You don’t act with feelings in mind, but I know you have them. And I know it’s hard for you, but I need you to share them with me more. I need a reminder that you care every once in a while.”

Nora’s quiet. She uses her arm to wipe her eyes, knocking her glasses off.  “I—I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.”

June’s chest collapses. She wraps Nora up in her arms. “I’m sorry, Nor. I don’t mean you’re not enough for me. I love you so much. I—”

“No, I understand. I just—I need help with that. I need you to tell me when you need more—maybe not after the fact like now but—”

June laughs and pulls away. “You’re right. I have a stewing problem. I just assume you’ll eventually get it.”

“Yeah, don’t assume that.” Nora laughs too—the big kind that shows all of her teeth. “Reign me in when I’ve been off for too long. And know it’s not on purpose. I’m seriously spiraling in my own head the majority of the time.”

“Ha! And a hot head it is too.”

They both pause and look into each other’s eyes. And bust out into laughing fits. June makes a fart sound with her mouth, and Nora tackles her. They rumble around on the blanket for about forty seconds before June’s wine glass tips over and surprisingly bounces instead of shattering.

The girls take that as an opportunity to stop and pour some more glasses of wine. Nora preps the takeout while June brings the charcuterie board back to the indoor picnic. Nora changes the music to some weird techno shit, but June snatches the phone. They compromise with One Direction, which makes no sense since 1. June only knows their last album and 2. Nora definitely remembers the story of June turning down the advances of one Niall Horan when she did the daytime talk show circuit after her book deal was announced.

Either way, they stuff their faces and end up cuddled on the floor.

Nora interrupts the moment. “Before we get to sexy time—"

“Jesus Christ.”

“I just wanted to give you something. I would’ve saved it for your birthday, but I can get you something else.” She pops up from the floor and jogs to her bedroom. When she reemerges, she’s carrying a bunched-up blanket. “I didn’t have time to properly wrap it because—you know, you weren’t going to get it yet—although, it probably wouldn’t’ve been wrapped later either—but anyways, happy Valentine’s Day.”

She crouches down and hands over the present. She smiles and bops up and down in anticipation. June unwraps the blanket and sees a book.

It’s one of those photobooks you can get at Walgreens, and on the cover, it reads, “Catalina June Claremont-Diaz and Nora Elizabeth Holleran are NOT good friends…” June flips it over. “They’re fucking GIRLFRIENDS!” Inside is page after page of pictures as early as the day they first met and as recent as New Year’s Eve a month ago. A lot of candid pics they take of each other—Nora’s favorites. A lot of sleepy, cuddle pics—June’s favorites. It’s so perfect.

“Nora—this is—wow.” She feels the tears coming. No one has given her anything like this before.

“I’ll be better—”

“So will I.”

“No matter where my head’s at, I’m always thinking of you—just 50 million other things as well,” Nora says and cups her chin.

June leans in. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nora kisses her, and everything wound up in June relaxes. Her body is so warm. “Best Song Ever” starts playing.

Cue sexy time.

check out the rest of my rwrb and the five love languages series: part one, part three, part four, and part five. (links to come as they’re released)

so this could be for quality time or gifts, but i decided to go with gifts since i had no other ideas for it! it’s definitely not my love language (quality time for the win!) but i had to write something lol. so i made it sapphic bc everything gay is better! <3

rwrb romance week | @rwrb-fests

[nightswithkookmin]

Memories 2019 was jikook fest. I think memories 2020(if we even get one due to covid) will be very tk focused, because they’ve been spending a lot of time together since September, growing close again after their friendship started to grow distance. Idk, I just feel like Jungkook is focusing a lot on Tae recently compared to Jimin, this isn’t me over reacting, there’s so much tk content than usual. Run 116 for example, anyone with eyes can see jikook was off. LGO comeback vlive. Grammys reaction

Uhmmm....

I get these kinds of questions a lot, and often when I do, I find I usually do not know how to go about answering it...

These concerns you raise are shipper problems lol and honestly I'm not that kind of shipper? Lmho. I'm more into alt shipping which means I place more value on the quality of Jikook's interactions, as little as those moments may be, than who BigHit decides on as their star ship for a season.

And often when I get into another ship, it's mostly because I am interested in how that ship affects the dynamics of Jikook.

I am curious to know what BigHit does with memories 2020 as well. Mostly because I believe they dumped all their Jikook 'intimate' moments on us in memories 2019 to try and neutralize the alleged brewing scandal revolving around Jikook since Rosebowl and the me too movement that hit the Kpop industry which set of this whole chain reaction with the impromptu vacation and the subsequent Jikook -involved with girls scandal' -allegedly. Bighit don't sue me please. Lol.

But ever since those moments happened, I had a feeling BigHit was moving to normalize Jikook's intimacy to throw sniffers off Jikook's metaphorical queer butts while simultaneously putting a leash around their necks in order to control and prevent any future such occurrence where Jikook's secret could be outed resulting in a potential scandal.

It is why I said I felt BigHit had been moving to mangae Jikook, presenting them as more of a brand than a ship within BTS.

I don't think they would want to go out of their way to specifically highlight Tae kook in memories 2020 simply because they are not trying to cover up any Tae Kook secrets or to normalize Tae kook's intimacy- because Tae kook isn't real. If we see more of Taekook or any other ship in memories it would be because they gave BigHit moments- memorable moments, which is what Memories is about no?

The objective of memories is to showcase moments that BigHit feels is iconic, memorable, beautiful and a reflection of the bond between BTS. That's what memories is.

And the fact they kept highlighting Jikook in Rosebowl should tell you the kinds of moments they consider iconic- JK nibbling Jimin"s ear believe it or not is super Iconic.

I keep saying BigHit bangs on the intimacy of the boys. Which means very often they are where the intimacy is. If Jikook is giving them beautiful iconic moments they can cash they will serve us Jikook. If Taekook, VMin, Sope, or Namjin does that too they will serve us them- it's business nothing personal really.

So it's not a question of whether they are showcasing Taekook over Jikook or Jikook over any other ship.

BigHit values the quality of the interactions between these boys which is why they invest so much in it and go through so much trouble to produce content like Soop or Rookie king which focuses on healing and repairing the boys' bond from time to time.

I mean have you seen Tiny Tan or BT21? Have you seen the level of animated love and connection they generate between these fictional versions of the boys? That's the level of love and closeness they want from the boys in real time for their own marketing agenda.

Jikook is often their go to because their intimacy and bond is not contrived or convoluted or riddled with high tensions and Jikook themselves are more than happy to perform and display their bond and give us iconic moments for the cameras. But where Jikook for whatever reason cannot give them those moments they would look to other pairs for it. I think I have talked extensively about BigHit and BTS ships already. Kindly check that out for a better understanding of my point of view on this topic.

And you are right about Tae and Kook spending a lot of time together this year- but how does that affect the quality of Jikook's relationship? I think I would be more interested in discussing that than worrying about a DVD slated for a near future where I might not even be alive to witness lol- chilee this Corona Virus has me moving scared lately. Pray for me, my moma and my cat. Lol

Listen, Jikook is real in spite of all of these things you mention honestly. Jungkook and Jimin are having bomb sex and doing the gay whether BigHit highlights another ship over them or not, whether come December JK wishes Jin or Tae a happy birthday, whether JK kisses another member's calf or sits on Tae's laps and bounce up and down, and whether Jimin throws himself at RM or not.

I really do not have a problem with the way they both choose to interact with the other members within the group. I just observe those interactions and allow it to inform me on their individual personalities, their state of mind, their emotional maturity levels, whether or not they are growing as individuals, whether or not they are both expressing themselves the way they want to within their dynamic etc. It's their love journey not my fantasy. I support them, I don't ship them.

And I gotta ask, what is it to you if BigHit highlights Taekook in the next DVD? Would that hurt you? Taekook are a part of BTS too and talents within the agency that BigHit have a moral and legal obligation to promote and market just as they promote and market Jikook you know?

It's their shippers isn't it? Fucking psychopaths! Lol. I feel you. I'm not a fan of shippers in general. I think you have to try and move past their annoying, braggadocious, anti Jimin, anti JK, anti Tae, toxic shopping tendencies shopping men for their biases, stealing other ships dynamics and superimposing the faces of their bias onto Jimin or JK' moments- Tae and JK deserve better supporters. Hashtag free Taekook. Lol.

I think you should try to understand Tae kook's dynamics for what it is because believe me Tae Kook give better insight into Jikook in the Vminkook's dynamics.

As for the Run episode, I think I have already put up an analysis of it in a recent post? Chilee. I am waiting for the behind the scenes of episode 117 because I think I spotted a bit of Jeonlous there when Suga and JM were wilin there for a second.

These two episodes were shot sometime during the On era when Jikook were not together together as I've been saying since the onset of my blogs. These episodes are not proof that something is wrong with Jikook now. They just show that something was wrong with Jikook then...

Whatever happened with them in the On era, they moved past it and got back together- like they always do. They always do. They are whipped on God I swear! Lmho. I want to talk about them in this era- yea yea I know I already put up a blog on that but it focused on their MV and roles in the music video and I want to talk about their relationship dynamics 😥

Somebody ask me about that!😭

And it's funny you say with episode 116, 'everyone with eyes could see there was something off between them...' my question is why didn't y'all see that in February when it happened??

You don't need loud moments like these to finally notice when the ship you support is having issues honestly. Chileee. You is 10 months late I think. They moved on, we moved on. This is a new Jikook era baby and Jikook are back with their shenanigans. Lol

This dismissiveness, bigotry, skepticism, treating a ship as a fantasy and not as individuals and the human that they are is how Taekookers and every ship in BTS think their ship is real lol. They will ignore and dismiss all the questionable moments that happen between Tae and Kook and run with the few seconds of skinship they see Taekook do- it doesn't work like that you know? But I guess these are shipper problems and I can't relate.

Oh and when you say there is so much Taekook content than usual..... I want to talk more about this too👀

I want to talk about VMinkook's dynamics next- in a separate blog perhaps? But y'all keep asking me about Minimoni and Yoonmin😒

Should I?

Signed,

GOLDY

[parispixiegirl]

Protective/Concerned Shane Madej, A Partial List

(because that’s my jam 🤷‍♀️)

Practically the entire Sallie House ep, but especially behind the scenes when a freaked out Ryan runs out of the house and Shane chases after him and convinces him to come back and finish the shoot (thanks to @wetookanoath for the info)

“Hey, careful man.” When Ryan steps too close to the Door to Nowhere in Return to Winchester Mansion

At Ohio State Penitentiary where Ryan goes under a chained-off section of the prison and Shane sounds mildly panicked. “What are you doing?” Ryan looks a bit surprised by his tone. “I’m investigating.”

Bobby Mackey ep, the closet door with a ‘Danger, Keep Out’ sign and of course Ryan goes to open it. Shane: “It says Danger, I wouldn’t go in there!”

The Haunting of Hannah Williams ep, where Ryan hardly kept his eyes off Shane (even when AJ the medium was talking) for reassurance. And Shane outright yelling at the demon (lol) after Ryan said he felt his arm burning.

An ep I can’t remember (sorry) where Shane doesn’t let Ryan finish his 7 minutes and comes to get him because he could hear Ryan getting spooked

Shane flatly replying “He’s trying his best.” on Twitter after someone pointed out a typo Ryan made

Defending the whole Hannah episode and Bergara’s integrity in a long-ass Reddit post

Loey Lane postmortem: show feet request. Ryan begins stripping off his shoe and Shane warns, “That’s not what he’s after! You’re gonna do it? That’s gonna end up on a—“ (I’m assuming a fetish site or something)

Watcher Weekly #11: When Steven reveals a video of a stressed-out Ryan screaming out loud in the office late at night after they filmed SWAT, Shane looks over at Ryan with a worried frown. “You were yelling? That’s not healthy.”

When Shane bought a round of beers and they hung out in his hotel room at 4 am after Ryan got traumatized at the Old City Jail

Watcher Weekly Plus #3: the Final Girl question, Shane gets visibly annoyed when Steven implies that Ryan would die in a horror movie first because Ryan knows all the tropes. Shane: “He knows them but he wouldn’t follow them.”

Forrest Fenn ep: Shane glaring at Buzzfeed’s legal guy. “With all due respect, what kind of fucking game are you playing here?” (that was hot)

From Schaumburg’s Student Fest livestream (thanks to @eerie-watcher ‘s tingly shyan video):

Interviewer: You’re sick of Ryan aren’t you? Tired of working with him?

Shane: Yes I am pretty fed up with him...and that’s why I chose to start a company with him. (laughs)

Interviewer: But you cannot agree on this ghost thing! You cannot agree—

Shane: (interrupts defensively) No! But surprisingly we do agree on pretty much everything else. That’s the beauty of it.

And of course, all the other times on location Shane “it’s just a plant/the wind/a big metal thing” Madej moved closer to Ryan, made a joke, and/or antagonized the ghosts when he saw his best friend freaking out, which is a whole other list on its own. 👻💕

[damnzawa]

Hi! For your AU fest, can I request a afterlife! bakugou x reader x Todoroki, where bakugou used to date the reader but towards the end he kind of mistreated her. Reader dies and Todoroki is some sort of death god/spirit who falls in love with her! Bakugou feels really guilty and fights his way into the underworld for you. Then reader picks one! (up to you haha) sorry this is kinda long! Thank you so much! 😊

FIRST LOVE — T. SHOUTO

Note(s): oh wow,, a new post ?? congratulations me! anyways, i’ve been mia lately due to animal crossing so please pardon my lack of new posts. i’ll try my best to finish all the requests before school starts! enjoy :)

Warning(s): Lil angst i think,, also King Explosion Murder is your ex lol

—

In all the years you lived on Earth, you’ve hardly experienced love. Years and years, you’ve been asking yourself, what was your fault? What was the sin you committed that gave you a bad karma like that?

All those years and not a single drop of love was given to you. Of course you grew used to it, but still, you yearned for it. You craved for it. So much that you were desperate for someone, anyone, to show it to you.

It was that desperation that led you to your ex-husband, Bakugo Katsuki.

He was kind in his own way, fiery, feisty. He did things his way and didn’t let anybody get on his way. Maybe it was his looks or that damn personality of his that made you fall. But nonetheless, falling for Bakugo Katsuki was the biggest mistake of your life.

He was cruel. Menacing. Cold. He wasn’t the man you pictured him to be. What he first showed you was only a facade, a mask to cover what he truly is: a monster.

In all the years you lived on Earth, you’ve never really felt love. Not from your parents, siblings, nor from the husband you cherished with your whole heart. So, it was ironic that when you finally left the face of the Earth that you finally felt it.

You feared death. You dreaded the time when your heart stops beating and you stop breathing. You hated the silence that came afterwards. Everything about death was bad. Until you realized that your death was the beginning of something new. Something beautiful. It wasn’t the end. It was only just a beginning of a new chapter.

The man in front of you was different from Bakugo Katsuki. He wasn’t aggresive nor have anger issues. If anything, he seems like an empty shell. A hollow and broken one at that. But despite that, despite the cold feeling in his heart, he showed you love. He gave you all of his love. Even if it meant none was left for himself.

Todoroki Shouto was the God of Death. Yet despite his title, he wasn’t as menacing as it sounds. In fact, he’s soft. He wasn’t the living demon you expected him to be, he was so much more than that. He was your saviour. And he was also the one who made you experience what love is.

But it made you feel guilty. Was love supposed to make you feel guilty? It was sad. Love was never supposed to be sad. (Or so you think.)

It was sad because the love wasn’t mutual.

“It’s ok, Y/n.” He said in his usual soft voice but the look in his eyes betrayed his voice. He was hurt. Deeply. Of course he was. It was the first time he loved someone and he was rejected. “I’ll wait for you. And when the time comes, I’ll be here for you.”

“Shouto.” You placed a hand on his cheek to which he happily leaned into. “Don’t. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Love yourself before you can love someone else, Shouto.” You smiled sadly at him. “And when that time comes, I’ll be happy to accept your affections.” Your hand left his face, making him frown. The warmth it left on his face was slowly disappearing. “Besides, I, myself am not ready yet. You know this Shouto.”

He sighed and nodded. He respected your decision and frankly, you were right. It seemed that you’ll be practicing what you preached too. So, it made him a bit glad.

You and Todoroki stayed friends, even after the rejection. Honestly, you expected him to leave, shut the door on your face, but he didn’t. Instead, he stayed with you, the both of you finally learning to love yourselves first before others. He stayed with you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. He stayed with you through all the bad and good times, as you did with him, and for the first time in forever, you were finally ready.

You were about to say it. Those words that Todoroki wanted to hear. You opened your mouth to say something when suddenly a commotion was heard in the distance. A very familiar one.

“Let me see her! Fucking damnit! Get out of my way extras!” You felt you heart drop at the voice. It was him. Bakugo Katsuki.

“Y/n. Stay here.” Todoroki instructed you but it was too late. Your feet moved on instinct and started running towards Bakugo. You didn’t know why but hearing him made you want to see him badly, for some reason. You didn’t know why but somehow, you forgot about Todoroki for a second.

Katsuki.

Katsuki.

Katsuki... died?

Arriving at the scene, your breath hitched once your eyes fell on a certain angry blond. It was him, in the flesh. Standing there with that trademark scowl of his.

“Shut up dumbfucks! I don’t fucking care!” You were about to approach him when a hand found it’s way on your shoulder. Glancing back, you saw Todoroki with a worried expression on his face. He wasn’t worried about your well-being though. He was worried you’d leave him for Bakugo.

“Shouto. It’s ok.” You flashed him a smile, as if to reassure him that everything will be fine. “It’ll be done in a jiffy.”

Removing Todoroki’s hand from your shoulder, you approached Bakugo, who instantly calmed down at the sight of you.

“Katsuki.”

“Y/n.” Bakugo teared up and immediately hugged you. “I’ve been searching everywhere for you, you goddamn extra! I even made a deal with some of the fuckers above just to meet you!”

“Katsuki-“

“I know I’ve been fucking cruel to you. I’m not the best at this shitty things. But, come with me, Y/n. We’ll start again. I promise I’ll be better.” Your mouth went agape at the amount of emotions Bakugo Katsuki gave off. Regret. Grief. Sadness. Despair. Love. It shocked you to the core.

“Katsuki.” You called him once you recovered from the shock. “Go home.” This time it was Bakugo’s turn to be shocked.

“What the fuck? What do you mean?”

“Go home, Katsuki. I don’t want to.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to?”

“Katsuki, have you considered my emotions when you planned all of this? Have you thought about what I would feel?” His silence gave you the answer you needed. “See? I’m tired of this, Katsuki. I don’t want this anymore.”

—

Todoroki hasn’t seen you for weeks ever since the Bakugo incident. He was worried about you. Were you ok? Were you eating well? Were you sleeping ok?

Heavens, he just wanted to know you’re ok.

“Shouto.” Your voice snapped him out of his train of thoughts. Todoroki immediately stood up from his throne and engulfed you in a hug. He felt relieved. Glad that you were ok. Glad that you were here. Glad that you didn’t leave him.

“Someone missed me.” You joked, but you both knew it was true. In all honesty, you missed him too. But you needed the time to figure things and your feelings out.

“You suddenly left without a note. Of course I’d miss you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You needed time.”

“Even so, I worried you.”

“It’s ok.” Todoroki gave you a small smile. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“Hey Shouto. Remember the question you asked me?”

“Hmm? Of course I do. It makes me cringe everytime I think about it.”

—

What happened? What the fuck happened? One second you felt flames engulf your body then the next you were lying on a boat. Boat to where? You didn’t know. But it was giving you the creepy vibes for sure.

Upon further inspection, you spotted a few boats nearby, all headed at the same direction as you. The people in it were just as confused as you were. Where were you exactly? And what happened?

After what seemed like eternity, you finally reached the shore. You reluctantly stepped out of the boat and took a quick look at your surroundings. It was foggy, overall looking like a horror movie. Oh my God, were you gonna die?

“You already did.” A voice interrupted to you. You turned around and saw a dual hair colored boy, infront of you. His answer confused you. You already what?

“You already died.” What? Your face paled at that. Then suddenly, memories of you being trapped in your burning home came flashing back. Oh God. Oh God. You really are dead.

But why aren’t you covered in burns?

“It’s just that.”

“Ok, stop reading my mind.” You glared at the man infront of you. “Who are you anyways?”

“My name is Todoroki Shouto, and I am the God of Death.” If your face went pale earlier, it went pale-r than before. Did you just talk back to the fucking God of Death? Oh shit, oh shit.

“Yes, you did.” You glared at him. “But I don’t mind. Just answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Do you want to be my wife?” You choked at that. What the fuck? Was he for real? You just barely met the guy! You were sure he doesn’t know you too!

“Yes, that’s true.” He replied to your thoughts. “Let’s get to know each other then.”

Was it possible to kill the God of Death?

—

“You were clueless back then.” You giggled. “And honestly, you still are.”

“I’m offended.” Todoroki replied, but the smile on his face grew at your remarks.

“Good. I want you to be.” You joked. “But jokes aside, is that offer still on the table?”

“What?”

“Do you wanna be my husband?” You asked him with a grin on your face.

“Sure, I guess.”

“You guess?!”

Bakugo Katsuki was your past, and now Todoroki Shouto was your present and possibly your future.

[savnofilter]

FLF Day 2

𝐀𝐬𝐮𝐢 𝐱 『𝐆𝐍』𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ(s): Thalassophobia — Fear of deep/dark water. party planning gone wrong.

↬ ᴄʀᴇᴅs: x, x.

↬ ʀᴍ: february love fest

↬ ᴀ/ɴ: i need to stop posting mad late hhh- LOL so like my information about frogs maybe wrong in this because i couldnt have been bothered to fact check it,,, aNYways if there is anything wrong with the phobia part (or frog part vknfj) that needs to be fixed, lmk ASAP! we’re here for a good time, not a bad one. this one isnt angsty like the other one but i hope it still does it justice. <3

Asui had planned a birthday get-together for you and your friends to celebrate your most recent birthday.

she had spent days coordinating it, double-checking people could attend, and even had a cake specially made for the joyous occasion.

for her, we all know how natural it is for her to enjoy spots like this. places with enough sunlight exposure, the warm sand, AND a nice cool/scenic ocean? this was literally heaven (couldn't beat ponds tho).

she didn’t think or fathom the idea that anyone could have a fear for it so the party was brainless, easy, fun.

“You’ll see — ribbit.” Tsuyu smiled as she tapped the passenger seat for you to climb in on. 

You were skeptical, climbing in anyways for your beloved girlfriend. You didn’t know what to think when she had told you to wear something light, prepared for anything. You trusted Asui with your life so you were at least sure she wouldn’t do anything with the intent of hurting you.

intentionally.

you were without a doubt excited before you had arrived at your destination. your mouth dried up and you couldn’t help but feel the twists and knots start to form in your stomach. you clutched at the bag as you started to bite your lip, your overall demeanor changing.

your girlfriend glanced over to look at you, softly frowning at your anxious posture.

“Is something wrong?” You perked up at the question, quickly trying to change your look. You pulled a bright smile and nervously laughed, hand resting on the back of your neck.

“I’m-I’m just fine! Do I look fine?” You ask nervously, your unsteady facial expression showing off your true feelings.

“...No” 

“Oh”

it gets quiet in the Jeep wrangler, the gentle sounds of cars passing by and nature consumed your hearing for a few moments. sadly it had grown awkward. you shifted to talk before she takes the mic from you.

“I just-”

“Is there-”

“...”

almost as if you both were in sync, you apologized and paused once again. you couldn’t help but laugh at how silly it was, a snicker starting from you and a training effect of laughter coming from her. arguably, sometimes it was awkward between you both with her blunt but meek nature and this often happened.

“You go first.” Tsuyu encourages, unbuckling her seatbelt and shifting so she could have her full attention on you.

oh. you had forgotten the reason why it had become awkward in the first place.

“I um…” You mumble, twiddling with your fingers as you unbuckled yourself as well, eyes checking back at her as you spoke. “I’m afraid of water. Like — really deep water. Ocean deep water.”

she listened to you talk and nodded her head in understanding. her bottom lip pouted, looking down as she realized.

“I’m so sorry Y/N — ribbit — I didn’t even think to ask you if you liked the beach or not.” Tsuyu frowns, hands coming up to clasp yours as she starts to think of something else. “Do you want to go somewhere else? I can cancel the trip.”

“No no, it’s okay! I’m okay.” You smile sheepishly. You flinch once she glares at you, her eyes stern.

“N/N…” 

“Tsu…”

She sighs, shaking her head. “You know I don’t want to make you do something you’re uncomfortable with. 

You nod sternly. You squeeze her hands and bring up the back of her hands for a kiss. 

“I-I promise I’m fine! I just can’t get too close or deep… or I’ll faint.” You shift your eyes away, mumbling the last part.

“We’ll move the party.” 

“No!”

“Yes. For your own good — ribbit.” She grabs her phone and starts tapping away. You sigh feeling guilty but this was to be expected. She was the type to not even have a chance of something going bad if it could be avoided. “We’ll just have to celebrate at our house.” 

You felt bubbly at her persistence, smiling a bit before leaning over to kiss her cheek and buckling in as well once she was ready.

“I love you~” You teased. 

She doesn’t say anything but give you a playful look back, softly blushing but trying to keep it at bay. 

“I love you too.”

[prettyoddfever]

The Seattle Ryden story isn’t real.

(google the Seattle Ryden theory if you’re not sure what I’m talking about... I just had to google it myself to see what the whole deal was).

I actually appreciate the enthusiasm & creativity of a good conspiracy theory, but I also think it’s important that it doesn’t replace reality. There’s so much fiction in the current pre-split Panic fandom that’s taken for fact just because people want it to be true, or maybe they hear it repeated so often that it seems like a commonly accepted fact.

WHAT WE DO KNOW HAPPENED IN LATE AUGUST 2007:

The band did a string of shows & appearances in the UK (Decaydance Fest, Kerrang Awards, Reading, Leeds). The last show was on August 26th. 

Then they flew home from the UK. It looked like Ryan flew to NYC to spend a few days with Keltie (there were pictures of them hanging out in places like Central Park and they did this photoshoot). I’ve seen people guess that the other guys went home to Vegas & Chicago for a couple days. I’d rather just leave that blank and say idk/idc.

P!ATD’s next show was Bumbershoot in Seattle on September 1st, so they had a few days off.

Meanwhile, Keltie threw Ryan a 21st birthday party on August 30th at Angels & Kings in NYC. There were a ton of pictures and you can see that some of Ryan’s friends were there: Travie McCoy, Gabe Saporta, and Eric Ronick (who was from NYC). Most pictures focused on Keltie & Ryan, though, so idk everyone who was there. 

I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal that Ryan’s Vegas friends he’d been hanging out with in 2007 or his bandmates weren’t there. It just seemed like a NYC thing. Ryan hung out at Angels & Kings with Keltie and her friends earlier that summer too. Plus, Travie McCoy had a birthday party at Angels & Kings that summer with a cake that looked very close to the one Ryan got. Their bday parties were good publicity for the new bar. But the point is that we don’t know the exact reason why Ryan’s other friends weren’t there. I know some people have guessed that Jon, Spencer, and Brendon wanted to go home for a couple days before Bumbershoot. I’ve also seen people guess that Keltie was toxic/abusive and wouldn’t invite Ryan’s friends who lived outside of NYC. All I know for sure is that Brendon & Spencer weren’t allowed into a lot of the nightclubs & parties that Ryan was at in fall 2007 because they were under 21 (sometimes they’d walk the red carpet and then have to leave while Ryan & Jon got to stay lol). 

The day after Ryan’s birthday (August 31st), Ryan and Brendon did an interview for Fuse that was chopped up to use in all of those Videos That Rocked The World episodes (here’s an example from the first episode). I was hesitant to rely purely on my own judgement when I started this account, but at this point I feel safe stating that this interview is definitely uncut footage from the overall VTRTW interview.

Brendon wore his grey hoodie a lot during that season. Ryan tended to mix his outfits up more often, so it’s easier to date pictures by what he’s wearing. Yes, the picture at the top of this post looks like it was most likely taken in late August after the UK trip (but that still doesn’t tell me anything significant).

I wanted to confirm that the Fuse interviews were done on August 31st for sure before I shared that info, so I emailed someone who worked on that set. She passed some other contact info along and three very kind people looked into their old emails & call sheets to let me know the date/location of Brendon and Ryan’s interview: August 31, 2007 in New York City. 

I talked to the director and the executive producer in charge of production for the Videos That Rocked The World series. There’s a chance they were wrong and the interview was in Seattle... but they each said the same thing separately so I’m going to share it as something to consider. 

Either way, the interview was absolutely on August 31st. That part is 100% certain. So the romantic motivation for Ryan to meet up with Brendon is erased once you factor in the fact that they had a work obligation the morning after Ryan’s birthday.

THE SEATTLE THEORY WAS WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE BAND

Ok even if the interview had never happened and Ryan therefore had a totally different motivation to join Brendon the next day... the theory still doesn’t make sense lol. Here are a few things to consider:

The band members talked a lot about how they were basically nocturnal in summer 2007. They’d stay up all night and sleep during the day. Ryan & Jon also talked a lot in 2008 about how they were still practically nocturnal on tour – they’d wake up in the afternoon, eat dinner in the middle of the night, and usually didn’t go to sleep until after the sun came up. So if the whole Seattle story were actually true, it still wouldn’t be unusual for Ryan to go about a normal routine in the middle of the night.

Yes, Brendon changed a line in That Green Gentleman to joke about Ryan while they were doing an acoustic show at the Space Needle in Seattle in October 2008. Do you know how many times Brendon spontaneously changed lyrics to joke around?! Or changed that specific line in That Green Gentleman to be the name of the city they were in that night? That doesn’t feel like a remotely notable event to me.

Please don’t ruin Northern Downpour by dragging it into the Seattle theory and making new fans honestly believe that the song is somehow a Ryden thing. People are wildly misinterpreting some interview quotes (possibly because they don’t understand Ryan’s role in the band), so there’s more in this post about Northern Downpour.

Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Brent all talked about how much they loved the Pacific Northwest starting from the first time they played a show there in fall 2005. The boys were from a desert area and talked a lot in the early months about how they hadn’t had the chance to travel much (except Brent had been to Canada). Each time they visited Seattle or Portland at least one of them would mention how they loved the weather, trees, etc. That is true. However, I really don’t get how their strong appreciation of Seattle starting in 2005 is somehow linked to an affair in 2007??

WHERE DID THAT PICTURE EVEN COME FROM

It’s SO important to look at where a story is coming from and how you know something. Does anyone know who the fan is who shared the picture above? and what their original story was? It’s repeated a lot but I’ve never seen a source, a direct quote, or anyone who even saw the original person’s post (which is super weird). The whole Seattle story sounds about as reliable as the current fandom’s “funeral picture” tbh.

I learned the hard way to never trust stories behind pictures unless I recognized the account who was sharing them because there was a big problem in 2006-2008 where some fans would steal other people’s pictures, claim it was theirs, and then invent a story about meeting the band. Usually they would crop out or draw over the original person (and the picture-stealer would just spin a story about how they looked ugly that day, didn’t want their face online, didn't want the band to know who was sharing the story, etc). I’m not saying that the picture above isn’t authentic! I have no idea what the original person said or where it came from. I’m just trying to point out how it’s so important to think critically and not blindly trust whatever fun story you hear. 

[the-astro-ace]

WIP Challenge

Rules: tell us the titles of all the WIPs you are currently working on right now and a little about them. Then tag five other writers.

I was tagged by @spiritofcamelot!  Thank you, friendo!

*Stares at the 119 files on my harddrive that I consider “WIPs” - many having more than one fic in them* Um *Glances at my Gdrive that have even more* UM

For simplicity’s sake, I’m just going to do all the ones (not including ones for Merlin Bingo or other fests) that I’ve actively worked on since the new year lol

Disclaimer: While I hope to finish and post all of these at some point, some of them I’ve been working on for months to years now and are still nowhere close to being finished, and may very likely never get finished.  So, if you want to take one of these ideas and write your own, just ask! 🥰

Also none of these have an official title picked out, so you all now get to see my wonderful WIP file names alsdkfjalsdkf

As for tags: I can never remember who of my friends actually likes these games, so if you want to do this - this is your invitation to say I tagged you!

Merwaine Tangled AU - What it says on the tin.  Merwaine as a Tangled AU.  Featuring Merlin as Rapunzel, Gwaine as Eugene, Aithusa as Pascal, and Sigan as Gothel.  I really hope to finish this, but I’m still trying to work out the details of the ending.  It’s 75% outlined, I just need to, you know, finish it

Lamia and Servant of Two Masters - After Gwaine remembers what he did under the Lamia, he feels horrible and guilty, and manages to convince himself that Merlin must hate him now.  Merlin confronts Gwaine over why he’s been avoiding him, and reveals that if he were to be mad at Gwaine for being a jerk while enchanted, he’d be the biggest hypocrite - because he’s done the exact same thing

The Veil of Time Brain Vomit - Merlin goes missing.  After fruitless days of searching, Gwaine is contacted by Freya, and learns that Merlin’s been dragged to an parallel dimension, and will need Gwaine’s help to get home.  Freya sends Gwaine to this parallel world, and he finds himself in Camelot if Arthur had been killed during Sigan’s siege on Camelot, and now has to find Merlin and get him home

Time Travel Mess - 500 years post-canon, Merlin decides he’s fed up with Destiny and is going to go back and fix things.  He finds his younger self, and is willing to go through any means necessary to keep the same mistakes from happening again.  Basically: if bitter, angry, and more powerful S5 Merlin met S3 Merlin.

Hermit Merwaine -  A fluffy oneshot lol.  Merlin, as part of his magical study, goes to spend a couple months “alone” on a mountain (quotes because Aithusa is with him lmao).  Gwaine comes to visit him anyway.  Just the three of them having a nice night together after not seeing each other for a few weeks.

Merlin Brainwashed 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO - (Not actually a sequel to anything.  I just have it titled that because it’s my second fic about Merlin getting brainwashed.)  “Wyllt” wakes up with no memory.  Morgana, the queen of Camelot, tells him that they are friends, and that he is one of her most powerful allies against their enemy, Arthur Pendragon.  It makes sense.  That is, until Wyllt starts talking to one of the captured enemies, Gwaine, who tells Wyllt that his real name is Merlin, and that he is actually one of Arthur Pendragon’s closest friends and allies.

Weird Sleeping Beauty AU I guess - Merlin is kidnapped, and is cursed to a slumber.  LUCKILY it forces him to astral project.  So he goes as a “ghost,” gets Gwaine’s attention, and Gwaine manages to rescue him!  Yay!  Except there’s one problem: they don’t know how to wake Merlin up.  (Based on the WIP title, you all can probably guess what it is lol.)

Gwaine & Aithusa - Divergence right before S5 starts.  Gwaine is captured by Morgana and taken to Ismere, and is tortured for information (and because Morgana’s angry and sees him as a good way to let out that anger).  However, Aithusa, still traumatized after the Sarrum and only trusting Morgana, sees her doing this and his horrified at Morgana showing such cruelty.  Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she finds herself seeking out Gwaine to see if he really is so evil.

Merwaine and Injured Aithusa - Gwaine finds an injured Aithusa while on patrol. After a failed attempt to sneak medical supplies from the infirmary, Merlin finds out.  And then Gwaine finds out Merlin and Aithusa already know each other.  Cue shenanigans as the two of them try to secretly raise a baby dragon in the castle, and also fall in love while doing so 👀👀👀

HOPEFULLY MERWAINE ONESHOT - Merlin reveals his magic in front of Uther sometime late S3.  Whoops?  Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, and Elyan help him escape, so he goes to find Gwaine.  This is supposed to just be he and Gwaine traveling and falling in love while literally waiting for Uther to kick the bucket  so Merlin can go home alskdfjasdf

Elyan and Gwaine Confession - While imprisoned by Morgana and their hope fading fast, Elyan and Gwaine get to talking about regrets they have.  And at the top, is that neither of them have confessed their feelings to the one they love (Elyan to Percival, and Gwaine to Merlin, respectively).  They both promise each other that if they do get out, they’re going to tell the subject of their affections, and they’re going to make sure the other does

Forest Spirits and Knights - Gwaine gets injured by bandits, and flees into a forest that is supposedly haunted.  But to his surprise, he is rescued by a knight living there, Lancelot, and is healed by the knight’s consort, a forest spirit named Merlin.  Cue him falling for Merlin, feeling guilty about it because Merlin’s in a relationship with Lancelot, before learning that forest spirits aren’t monogamous after Merlin tries to kiss him alkdsfjlksdf

[gerec]

Fantasy AU - Charles/Jean

So I started a number of fics that I never finished in time for Rare Pairs Fest, which I’m sort of bummed about because I liked the prompts a lot and the ideas that were starting to form; I just couldn’t quite find the motivation to get them to completion ugh. But I’ve decided to post what I have written of these stories so far, in the hopes that sending it out into wide world might get the Muse excited about picking them up again lol.

Pairing: Jean/Charles, implied Erik/Charles, implied Erik/Raven Warning: Non graphic (non sexual) violence towards an underage character 

@lachatblanche‘s Prompt: Charles and Jean have always had a very special relationship, ever since she was young. No matter what happened or who passed in and out of their lives, that bond has always remained strong and unbroken.

Nothing has ever come between them. And, if Jean has her way, nothing ever will ...

Note: The tenses are a little wonky here but it would all get cleaned up in a final edit if I wrote more. :D

-----------------------

Green, they say, is a fitting choice for a bride, representing harmony, and renewal, and the freshness of Spring.

Blue, they say, is an apt pick for the soon-to-be-Queen, to rule at the King’s side bathed in his colors. 

Instead it’s the color red that Jean chooses for this long awaited day, the hue of blood, and of fire, and the sacrifices made along the way.

x

Jean understood that she had a different life once, with a mother and father who loved her, and who did their best to dote on their only daughter. Theirs was a poor but relatively happy existence, in a mud-caked village with a long forgotten name. She could still recall vague snippets of their life together on that farm; her father tending the sheep while her mother worked the loom, and days spent growing herbs and tomatoes in their tiny garden.

And then one day, her powers came, and everything she’d ever known changed in an instant.

“Those are good memories, Jean,” Charles had told her once, after she woke up in tears, crying desperately for parents who were long gone and buried. “It’s alright to hold on to them, and leave the other ones behind.”

But she would never let herself forget, even if she could; the weird angle of her mother’s broken neck, her limp body thrown clear of their overturned cart. Her father’s tear stained face as he cried out to the heavens, calling Jean ‘a wretched witch’ for killing his beloved wife. The villagers’ mocking words as they dragged her eight year old self, kicking and screaming to the pyre, tying her to the stake.

Her father turning away without a word, as they set the wood beneath her ablaze.  

She had called out for him then, and also for God; for someone, please anyone, to save her from a horrific fate. Instead they all stood by and did nothing, too afraid to show a little girl either mercy or restraint. It was their hatred, and their terror that stoked the sleeping fire at her core, unleashing the devastation that would engulf everything in its wake.  

They found her alone and unharmed on top of the pyre, and the entire village around her reduced to nothing but ashes.

It was his face that she saw when she first opened her eyes, and his brilliant mind that reached out to welcome her in. He looked upon Jean with tender kindness and care, without the judgement of those who had known her all her young life. The relief she felt brought fresh tears to her eyes, for no one – not even her own parents – ever understood what she was, or loved her as he did without fear or reservation.

Don’t be afraid, Jean, he said in her head, as strong arms cradled her gently against his breastplate. I’ve got you now, darling girl, and I promise you’ll be safe. No one will ever hurt you again, I swear it.  

Please, she answered, and it was so easy talking this way, without the wasteful inaccuracy of the spoken word. Can I go with you, wherever you live? They don’t want me here…and my father…

Can’t hurt you anymore, he said, his inner voice rough with feeling, brimming with such hurt and anger for the evils of men. She knew that his name was Charles, and he was searching for more people like them, with special gifts that were unappreciated, and often misunderstood. I would have you stay with me as long as you wish, he whispered in her head. Be my family, Jean, and I’ll be there for you, always.

I’ll stay with you forever, Jean vowed, with every fiber of her being. I’ll always be by your side.

x

She finds him awake in his room late into the night, bottles tipped over on the table and strewn carelessly on the floor. He’s been crying, his eyes rimmed red and shot through with blood, body huddled in a ball on his four poster bed. Jean wants to weep too, seeing him suffer like this, watching him crumble under the weight of such utter betrayal.

It’s a relief that he doesn’t realize the truth of it; that it was three people and not two, that has hurt and deceived him.

“How could this have happened?” Charles asks, eyeing the bottle in his hand, speaking not to Jean but to the quiet of his half empty quarters. “Why didn’t I see it when it was right in front of me?”

Once, he would have seen clearly through Jean’s calm exterior, plucking the gnawing guilt from her thoughts as easily as ripe fruit from a tree. He would see both the conflict and the shame, and catch the barest hint of remorse, hidden behind a wall of steadfast determination. He would see the motive behind all of Jean’s lies and machinations, and know that she did it for him; to protect him from those who would do him the most harm.

“Shh,” Jean says instead, folding him tenderly into her arms, a reversal of roles to the many nights he held her close and chased away the bad dreams. “It wasn’t your fault, Charles. Never yours.”

“I just can’t believe—” He shudders as Jean rubs his back soothingly, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “My sister…and Erik…how could they, Jean? Why?”

His mind is a maelstrom of confusion and pain, his shields non-existent – safe in the presence of the only one left he can trust. There are others of course, like Hank and Ororo, and even the Summers brothers Alex and Scott; but none he loves as he’s always loved Jean, who shares both his vision for peace and his formidable power.      

“I have no answer for you,” she says, because she knows he doesn’t truly want one, no matter his words. “And certainly none that will make things right.” She strokes his hair from his forehead and kisses him gently, and lays them both carefully onto the bed. “But you still have me, Charles, and I swear to you – I’ll never leave you, not now. Not ever.”

He smiles, and brushes her cheek with his fingers, and does not stop when she takes his hand and presses it against her breast.

“You’re so very beautiful, my darling girl,” he murmurs, stroking her long auburn hair, eyes filled with an ocean of unearned grief and pain. “We mustn’t. It’s not right,” he adds, after Jean kisses him, slowly, gently, coaxing his mouth open as he lies helpless in her embrace.

But Charles is drunk, and Jean is a girl no longer, and everything that happens next is as inevitable as the sunrise.