#show me one instance where I was rude to someone who didn’t deserve it

[beachbabey]

Maybe if you were nicer to people who read your stuff and people like your fellow writers, you’d get more notes and stuff, just a thought

literally nobody asked for your “thought”

I think you misunderstand my “lack” of friendliness with some people on here as me not being “nice”. Just because I’m not churning out love letters to literally anybody who gives me attention or being best friends with everybody doesn’t mean I’m not “nice”. Just because I’m not reading much right now and don’t have enough time in my day to give all of my mutuals and fellow writers the attention they deserve (and I really wish I could, but I just don’t have the time, I absolutely despise not being able to give them my full attention and time to read their writing, I hate when all I can do is reblog without tags or comments) doesn’t mean I’m not “nice”

And as far as readers go, some of us have boundaries, some of us aren’t comfortable being affectionate with LITERAL ANONYMOUS STRANGERS ONLINE

I don’t owe you OR anybody my affections and attention, remember that

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! I've been in the Hannibal fandom for two years now. Rewatched the show many times and yet Will Graham still confuses me like no one else. Hannibal's design is complex but somewhat understandable after watching the show again again. But Will's design is like a loophole. He can empathise with the killers. That means he can understand them. If he can understand them then why does it feel good for him to kill them? How does it work for him exactly. Does he feel for the killers? If he felt for the killers then what about his violent tendencies towards them?

I've always thought that he is like a God. A God of the killers. The killers offer him their design and he takes sacrifice in return of understanding. But how does his psyche work exactly?

Hello! Oh yes, Will is a very confusing character - it’s his defining trait, and I think that’s because he lies to himself, to others, and to us as an audience. He wants one thing, wants to want another thing, does the third thing, and making sense of it is a complex process.

I think Will’s empathy is a big red herring. I agree with Freddie here: he understands killers because he’s one. He has an almost supernatural gift that helps him recreate the situations almost exactly as they happened. He understands what motivates killers, he might sympathize with them, but I think he might also envy them their freedom to be what they are. They are a reminder of what he is and what he can’t allow himself to have. But most importantly, they are a way for Will to find a compromise with himself and feel better about his true self. Killing bad people is an excuse to justify his darkness, but I don’t think it’s a part of his design per se. 

I agree with you that Will is like a God - he and Hannibal both are. That’s one of the things that separates them from others and elevates them above everyone else. Let’s make an overview of Will’s victims.

1) Hobbs. Hobbs was a monster and Will killed him. But it wasn’t about justice and righteousness, not according to him. Killing a person and feeling pleased that you saved someone versus liking the act of killing itself are drastically different things. Many police officers have to kill in their line of duty. Very few of them get off on the act of murder. Those who do are killers, and they are especially dangerous if they immediately try to follow it up with another murder. Will never once says he liked killing Hobbs because he made this world better. When asked, he says that he felt a sense of power. This is a motivation of many actual serial killers. If Will was just glad that he saved Abigail, he would know it's normal. He wouldn't have been almost on the verge of a break-down and haunted by Hobbs. So it’s not about helping others, it's about murder, even if the victim was a monster.

2) Stammets. Will had no reason to try to kill him (which he admits to doing). Based on his and Hannibal’s talk, he understands that he just wanted to feel what he felt after killing Hobbs, and this makes him panic. So again, no someone. He’s chasing the high of killing someone, and Stammets is the most appropriate victim. 

3) Ingram. On the surface, it looks like Will wanted to avenge Peter and himself by proxy, hence pulling the trigger on Ingram. However, after Hannibal manages to stop him, days later, Will complains about losing a chance to feel how he felt when killing Hobbs. Murder high is his main motivation again - everything else is background or an excuse, depending on your reading.    

4) Randall. Will threw away the gun on purpose to make the murder more intimate. This is not about justice and this is not about protecting himself because by doing this, he reduced his chances. Will also beat Randall up until he wasn't moving. There was no reason to snap his neck. Mutilation, cannibalism that followed, keeping his suit, admitting he enjoyed the murder and calling it his design - this is about murder and WIll’s love for it primarily. The design part is especially important: based on it, we can conclude that Will loves a performance just like Hannibal.  

4) Chiyoh and her prisoner who Will set up. Chiyoh was innocent and didn't deserve to die. Her prisoner might not have been guilty - in fact, Will was the one to suggest that, and yet Will still set him up. It was a game and he was an observer - he lied in waiting for Chiyoh’s scream. He then turned the body of a losing party into art. Very creepy and very like Hannibal.

5) Chilton. Will clearly explained his motivation: he wanted Chilton to pay just because he wanted to be famous and messed with Hannibal by writing his ridiculous book. Will showed no remorse and admitted he did it on purpose.

6) Police officers he set up to be killed by cooperating with Francis. The ones he stepped over without a second look. They were innocent and they were a collateral damage. Will is a cruel God who doesn’t bother with mere mortals as long as it fits his purpose. In this case, his purpose was freeing Hannibal. Everything else was still a blur in his mind. 

7) Francis. Enjoyed the murder, admired the blood, called the situation beautiful.

8) Bedelia. She's innocent in comparison to Will and his body count. If Will faced no repercussions and continued getting more and more people killed, she had every right to go free. But God doesn’t have to be fair, and Will proves it by targeting her. 

What does it all say about Will’s design and philosophy? Apart from Godlike attributes and indifference toward collateral damage, I think Will is led by his bloodlust - he just tends to control it and direct it at specific targets. 

Will might prefer to kill “bad people” in the first two seasons, but it’s the process of murder that excites him. So I see his righteous choices as a preference that helps him justify his dark nature partly, not the core reason for his violence. Hannibal seems to be moved by his interest in human nature and his hunter instinct, but Will, I think, is a truer killer because he actually feels drunk on murder. Unlike Hannibal, he looks downright euphoric when/after he kills Randall and Francis. In TWOTL, Hannibal is more focused on the fact that his dream came true and he and Will killed someone together, but Will seems primarily caught up in the murder after-shocks themselves. Hannibal thinks about Will, Will thinks about how beautiful blood looks under the moonlight.

So, post Fall, I believe that at first, Will will stick to killing bad people like murderers, but once some times passes, his need for justifications will fade. He’ll move on to rude people, only his rude will differ from Hannibal’s. Hannibal doesn’t differentiate between genders and ages, but I think Will will. He’s interested in a feeling of power, like he himself says, in a sense of dominance, so he’ll look forward to a fight. He won’t be interested in attacking a teenager like Cassie, for instance, because the power imbalance is too prominent. But as soon as someone more equal does something Will heavily dislikes, something that wakes his bloodlust (a personal insult, physical or verbal abuse toward other people/animals, etc.), he’ll attack. He’ll be careful - he knows how to avoid being caught, but it will still be unpredictable and passionate. Will is a storm to Hannibal’s calm.

Then there is unpredictability. Hannibal tends to plan everything methodically. The only times we see him being impulsive is in Europe, where he’s descending into self-destructive mode, so it’s not a norm for him. For Will, though? Will consists of unpredictability, and Hannibal is fascinated by it.I think Will is going to kill when an impulse strikes. For example, he might go shopping, without having any dark plans, and end up murdering someone because the circumstances pushed some unfortunate soul onto his path. Will might or might not display the body depending on his mood. Today he can be in an artistic mood, but tomorrow he’ll be in a violent and impatient one, wanting to destroy the body entirely and leaving a total mess behind.

How Will would prefer to kill? In my opinion, in an intimate way. It doesn’t mean he’ll be weaponless, but something like a knife would fit his tastes well. He’d be able to feel it plunge into his victim’s body, tearing through skin and muscles, etc. - personal and intimate. Akin to what he did with Francis - his feral half-snarl, the way he paused after stabbing him before opening him up - it was dark and mesmerizing. Will might get into strangling, too, because it takes a lot of time and it is even more intimate. It might end up being his favorite. So, I can see him using his hands or small weapons to fully sense what he’s doing to a victim. This is something that he has in common with Hannibal because from what we saw, Hannibal also enjoys more intimate and prolonged murders that give him a glimpse into a person’s pain and struggle for life.

[mc-lukanette]

I haven’t watched the new episode but I heard it was awful. Do you have a fix-it that I can pretend is canon?

- Marinette is stressed, and extremely so; her schedule is more hectic and the kwami have been keeping her busy with teaching her any guardian rules/lessons they know from their limited knowledge that she might not have gotten from Fu since he hadn’t had the time to teach her due to what happened.

- Because of these factors, her dates with Luka have often been interrupted and constantly replanned, only the cinema date being anywhere near complete due to her giving him the guitar pick necklace. Luka is trying to be respectful and not pry, but can’t help being disappointed whenever she leaves.

- Eventually, Luka talks to her on the matter, concerned for where she goes and how she always seems anxious when she does. Marinette assures him that she adores him, but she has... things that she has to do, and even though she wishes so badly for it to be different, she’s forced into this situation and she’s so sorry for it.

- Luka is pained by the secret she’s forced to keep, but gives her a sad smile and ends the conversation there. She can tell that he’s putting on a brave face from the slump as he walks away.

- Later on, Marinette is walking down an empty street, muttering to Tikki about the situation, when an unfamiliar form descends from above and lands in front of her. Tikki quickly conceals herself and Marinette goes on the defensive, recognizing that this must be an akuma. “Who are you, and what do you want with me?!”

- The akuma reaches out... and gently takes her hand in his. “We have a date planned today, Marinette, and I want to make sure that we get to finish it this time.” “...W-what? Wait--Luka?”

- In that instance, someone from a distance screams at the sight of the akumatized Luka, yelling for someone to call Ladybug. Luka faces them, muttering, “You’re disrupting us,” his sentimonster helper using their ability to make the person and even the phone they were trying to use go completely silent, much to their shock. Roger, who was nearby at the time, approaches and gives a speech about defending Paris, then tries to attack Luka, but Luka uses his own power to flash Roger back to where he was a minute ago (meaning Luka’s sentimonster is an equivalent to Silencer whereas Luka himself is similar to Viperion); this happens to put Roger in the middle of the street - where he’d originally been directing traffic - and he has to dodge an oncoming car.

- “Luka!” Marinette states, panicked. “You can’t do this! You’re akumatized, you’re not thinking!” In response, Luka settles his hand on her shoulder. “I’m thinking perfectly well, and all I can think is about how you’re so burdened by something that I could never help you with. Now I can, and I’ll stop anyone or anything from bothering you or interrupting us, so we can have the date you deserve.”

- It’s at that moment that Marinette realizes that this akuma literally just wants her to have a nice time and that’s the sweetest freaking thing she’s ever heard.

- She can’t help being torn. On one hand, this is an akuma who will inevitably cause havoc, and she stops akuma as Ladybug... but on the other, this is Luka and she’s so touched and this is an offer for them to finally have a date not interrupted by an akuma because he IS an akuma, and she’s felt so bad ditching him before so this is a chance to remedy that.

- Marinette can see Tikki peering at her judgementally from her purse, but the opportunity is too tempting to pass up and Marinette agrees to go on a date with him, exciting Luka as he enthusiastically tugs her closer so they can walk together.

- Cue montage of Luka recreating their dates, though this time where she can actually enjoy them without interruption. Luka and his sentimonster occasionally use their powers and Marinette clearly hesitates, but he dotes on her so much that it’s hard for her to not want to continue their dates.

- Meanwhile, Shadow Moth probably: Wh--where the heck is Ladybug???? (there’s also probably a moment where Luka mentions Shadow Moth and Marinette uses the opportunity to gather some information)

- During one of the recreated dates, Chat Noir shows up and manages to snatch Marinette away, jumping up and out of harm’s way while trying to find a place to hide. He ducks into an alleyway and is about to go on about how neat his save was when Marinette huffs and asks, “What do you think you’re doing?!” “...U-uh, saving you?” “I didn’t need saving! We were on a date!” “You were on a what now.” “Chat Noir, it’s very rude to interrupt someone’s date. “I’m sorry, Princess, but I’m still stuck on the fact that you said you were dating an akuma--”

- At that moment, a hand clamps down on Chat Noir shoulder. He stiffens and turns, seeing Luka there and very much not happy. Luka squints, asking lowly, “What did you call her?”

- Chat Noir can only weakly look back at Marinette, who waves apologetically at him right before he’s yeet’d off into the distance. The sentimonster gives chase.

- Marinette does eventually leap into action as Ladybug once she recognizes that okay this was amazing and incredible and I’m officially de-stressed but Luka is akumatized and there is definitely a rule against Ladybug dating supervillains.

- Naturally, when Ladybug arrives, Luka’s first concern is what happened to Marinette. Ladybug tries to get him to back down and points out that he won’t even remember any of this once de-akumatized, but Luka insists that, “It’s okay. Marinette will remember.”

- Ladybug is internally like okay but can you not, I’m trying to fight you here and you’re making it difficult.

- Ladybug tries to negotiate/convince Luka into getting de-akumatized, until Chat Noir shows up on the scene again, the sentimonster following after. The fight itself is significally difficult and limiting; if they make any loud, disruptive noises, they’ll be silenced, but if they try to fight Luka directly/physically, he can zap them back to where they were a minute prior; knowing Luka, he could even engineer it so that one of them perhaps gets trapped if they’re not careful.

- Post-deakumatization, Marinette meets up with Luka and gives him a long overdue kiss. Luka is stunned, having been prepared to apologize for getting akumatized, and asks her what he did to deserve it, to which Marinette explains that he’s amazing and she’s happy to have him.

- They end up talking and Luka apologizes for trying to pry about her secret, but explains about his dad and the mystery behind his identity (foreshadowing the conflict for a future episode: I'd have the whole Jagged thing be a different episode so it gets proper focus). Marinette insists that she understands and he has nothing to apologize for, but pauses and laments that their dates might very well continue to be interrupted.

- Luka hesitantly starts to ask if she thinks it’d be best if they broke up, but Marinette cuts him off to insist otherwise. She wants to make this work with him but it’s complicated and she literally (stressing that it’s not a trust issue) cannot tell him why she leaves all the time. Luka smiles reassuringly and points out that a perfect song doesn’t exist and that every song goes through edits. Marinette asks what he means and Luka explains that he can’t help wanting to be selfish and spend time with her, but also that the knowledge of them dating is enough.

- Marinette, considering this, realizes that - yeah - not going on dates doesn’t mean they can’t be in a loving relationship, and maybe they can stop planning dates and get together right after she deals with akuma instead. She’s been a mess because of stress and that’s caused even more problems, so it doesn’t make sense to cause herself more stress by breaking up with Luka; she needs to take care of herself.

- The episode ends with Marinette in her room, some of the kwami being a bit chaotic/loud but Marinette being completely unphased and talking excitedly to Luka on the phone about their recent date “after that crazy akuma attack,” as Luka can’t hear the kwami due to their voices not breaking through technology.

[thefanficmonster]

Rumors

Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤

Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.

He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 

Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.

“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“

The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.

“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.

There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...

“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“

He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.

Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:

(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)

“Corpse would never date a slut like her“

“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“

“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“

“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“

###

bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.

And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.

“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“

Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.

But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.

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[draw-back-your-bow]

Shoot Your Shot | C.K

My Masterlist | Request Guidelines | Send a Request

Pairing: Clark Kent x fem!reader

Request: “Hey! I just read “A little white lie” and I have to say it’s amazing! And I had a request! Can you do one where Clark Kent has a crush on you but like you don’t know and he gets jealous when you and Barry Allen hang out or make jokes because he thinks you guys like each other, but in reality you two are just friends. And it isn’t until like Kara points it out or teases him about his crush on you and you find out he has a crush on you, and in the end you guys get together!” | Requested by Anonymous

A/N: This fic is also taking place pre-COIE and pre-Superman & Lois (for obvious reasons). Therefore, it contains no spoilers for Superman & Lois (and COIE). Just so everyone knows, I’m going to stop mentioning if my Clark Kent fics contain spoilers after the season is finished. Also, I’m horrible at coming up with titles so please stick with me.

Summary: Clark wants nothing more than to ask you out, but he worries that a certain scarlet speedster may have beat him to it.

Warnings: Champagne consumption, a curse word, misunderstandings

Word Count: ~3.1k

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Throwing your head back laughing, you lightly slapped Barry’s shoulder at the joke he made. He was grinning at his own cheekiness, and his pride in himself only made you laugh harder.

“Since when have you known so many dad jokes,” you wheezed, trying to catch your breath, “You’re not even a dad.”

The scarlet speedster next to you held his hands up in defense, “What can I say, they just come to me.”

You snorted, walking besides him into the cortex. You were both still in your superhero attire, having successfully finished defeating a meta-human criminal who was terrorizing the city.

Your and Supergirl’s teams had joined forces to stop a group of fugitives who were traveling throughout the multiverse. However, their base of operations seemed to be somewhere on Earth-1 or Earth-38, therefore making your collaboration necessary.

However, one thing was different about Supergirl’s team, it temporarily included the Girl of Steel’s cousin, Superman.

Of course, you didn’t mind the extra team member, especially one that wore a skintight suit that made sure each muscle got the attention it deserved.

Regardless of his superhero outfit, you were happy to be working with Clark. Maybe a little more than happy if you asked the butterflies in your stomach that fluttered whenever he was around.

Clark was everything any woman could ever dream of. You, Caitlin, Iris, Frost, and Allegra had reached a consensus on that. Although you hated to steal Felicity’s simile, Clark was like Barry in Oliver’s body.

While you were not romantically attracted to either man, you couldn’t deny that they both had characteristics, that if combined in the right way, would equal the perfect partner.

You didn’t want to jinx yourself, but from what you could tell, Clark was exactly that.

Exiting your daydream about the male Kryptonian, you shook your head, occupying your mind with thoughts other than your ‘coworker’. For instance, a random crack on the wall.

However, the universe seemed to have other plans because just as you started to forget, Kara called you over to where she and the man you were trying to avoid were studying footage on some monitors.

Straightening your posture, you left Barry’s side and made your way over to the super-cousins.

Standing next to Kara you cleared your throat before asking, “How can I help?”

Kara pointed to the monitor which was showing the security feed of the bank before the attack. She began explaining, “Before the fight, the alien was nowhere in the room-”

Kara’s voice faded into background noise as you zoned into Clark’s expression. His eyes were squinted, deeply focused on the video. And you couldn’t deny that him not sparing your arrival a glance, hurt.

For someone who was allegedly the embodiment of good, you felt like he was being awfully rude. But hey, you suppose he didn’t gain such a great reputation by getting distracted from catching the bad guys by his friend that admired his every move.

Brushing off Clark’s unacknowledgement, you zoned back into what Kara was saying.

“So it might be possible that their powers include some sort of invisibility or teleportation that might be hard to fight head-on, therefore making that the best plan.”

You nodded, not quite having heard everything she said. But knowing Kara, she was probably right.

“So, you agree?” Clark asked.

You sputtered, not knowing what exactly you agreed to. “Uh, yeah. Why not?”

Kara grinned, glancing between the two of you as you tried to control your accelerating heart rate. ���Great! We can leave in a couple hours. I’ll go tell everyone else.”

Your eyes widened as she walked away. “Wait, what?” you stammered.

Clark nervously scratched the back of his neck before turning to you, “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this. Kara kind of cornered you with the idea. I’m sure we could figure something else out.”

You cut in, “Sorry but, what did I just agree to?”

Despite having super-hearing, Clark seemed to not have heard your question as he continued, “We don’t even have to act like we’re… together, we can just be friends, good friends.”

The dots started connecting in your mind as you figured out what exactly Kara suggested. Oh, no.

You had to pretend to be dating a guy you liked… a lot. This situation had a one in a million chance to happen, and you’re not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

Pro, you would get the chance to “date” the man of you and the rest of Earth-38’s dreams. Also, you would get to have at least one perfect evening with him in case things went sideways.

Con, “dating” you may cause him to realize how much he did not want to date you. It could also ruin the platonic relationship you both already have.

Another pro, if things did go wrong, he would go back to Earth-38, you would stay on Earth-1, and you could pretend like the whole thing never even happened.

Okay, 3-2. The pros outway the cons. So you made the logical decision and sputtered out, “No, I mean, yeah. I’m totally fine with doing it. We’re friends right? Great friends!”

Mentally hitting yourself, you winced at your lack of chill. You had to get that under control if you were going to pretend to be his girlfriend for whatever reason.

Now that you think more about how little you know about the situation, it’d probably be best if you asked Kara for another debrief on the mission.

Nevertheless, Clark nodded at your words, not seeming to mind your weirdness. “Okay,” he told you, “I’ll see you soon.”

Nodding at his words, you held back a wince until he left your line of sight. The second he was gone, you slapped your hands onto your face, “Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why must I act like I was born yesterday around him.”

From across the room, a voice piped up, “Yeah, that was hard to watch.”

Snapping your head up, you saw Cisco rolling around in a chair.

“Was it really that bad?” you groaned.

He nodded with a sympathetic frown on his face, “Yep. Like, ‘Barry trying to hide his alter-ego’, bad.”

You threw your head back in frustration. “Seriously?! How am I supposed to keep it together for an entire mission? I don’t even know what we’re doing! I zoned out the second Kara started explaining it to me.”

“Let me guess, you got lost in his mesmerizing eyes?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms defensively, “No… I didn’t, I swear.”

Cisco let out a noise of disbelief before continuing, “Well, you're gonna have to figure something out. It was painfully obvious that you’re like, in love with him.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, throwing a pen at him as you left the room.

“Ow!” He yelled, “You can’t deny the truth!”

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After learning what exactly your mission entailed and getting dressed, you and Clark entered the doors to a gala. The type that neither of you had a high enough salary to get invited to.

But thanks to some light hacking done by Cisco, he was able to score an invitation. Though there was only one, so you had to go as Clark’s plus-one.

Picking up a flute of champagne from a waiter, you knocked it down, not minding the slight burn. Before you could place your glass down in exchange for another, Clark swiped the flute from you with furrowed eyebrows.

“You may want to slow down a bit, we may be here for a while until they decide to show.”

You hummed in acknowledgement rather than agreement before taking two more flutes from a passing tray, handing one to him.

“Well, I have to drink enough for the both of us since you can’t get drunk, Mister Liver of Steel.” you quipped, already starting to feel the alcohol loosen your tongue.

Of course, you didn’t plan on actually getting drunk. Just a little tipsy. That would be the only way you had a chance of surviving the night.

“Still,” Clark interjected. Taking your second glass just before you could feel the liquid stream down your throat, “I don’t think Barry would be very happy if I let you drink and fight.”

You rolled your eyes, “To be fair, there are a lot of very strict people on both our teams. Plus, I feel like Joe would have a more explosive reaction than Barry.”

Clark subconsciously tapped his fingers on his glass, taking a sip while he scanned the ball room. “Well, he sure does care a lot about you.”

You took your flute back from him in a silent agreement that you would take it slow.

“Barry or Joe?” you joked.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Clark send you a small glare, causing your lips to curl into a smile around the rim of your glass.

Before he answered the question, the communication system in your ear crackled to life.

“Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3.” Cisco checked.

You rolled your eyes at his antics and let out a quiet chuckle. Turning on your microphone, you addressed him, “Cisco, we use these same comms for every mission. You don’t have to test them each time.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyways guys, the multi-bandits aren’t-”

You interrupted him, turning to face Clark so it wouldn’t look like you were talking to yourself. “Multi-bandits?” you questioned, taking another sip of champagne to smother your laughter.

“Duh,” Cisco defended, “ ‘Cus you know, they’re thieves traveling through the multiverse.”

You and Clark shared a chuckle before he reassured the engineer, “Yeah, Cisco. We get it.”

You could almost sense Cisco beaming through the comms as he replied, “Obviously.”

“But anyways,” Cisco continued, “The bad guys aren’t gonna show at the gala. We picked up some Earth-46 vibrations in an abandoned factory a few miles outside the city. Kara and Barry are already headed there now, so you two can head back to Star Labs.”

You relaxed at the news. Now that the mission was over, you had successfully completed it without losing your chill over Clark.

The Kryptonian slowly nodded, processing the information before suggesting, “Maybe we should stay just in case something happens. Do you know if all the fugitives are in the factory?”

You gaped at his proposition, not knowing if you could make it through this entire event without letting your partner know of your infatuation with him.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t split up if they’re planning their next heist or something,” you argued.

Clark furrowed his eyebrows at your objection, “But if they’re not, some of them could still be planning to come here.”

Before you could open your mouth retortion, Cisco cut in, “The Man of Steel has a point, if they do decide to show, then I’d be best if you two stayed. I’ll update you both when Kara and Barry finish at the factory. Peace out.”

With that, the comms went silent and you sighed at your current predicament. You were so close to freedom, only for it to be snatched from your grasp.

Noticing your melancholy, Clark shifted on his feet trying to decide what he could say that would lift your spirits.

“I’m… I’m sorry for suggesting that we stay. I wasn’t thinking about how you may have wanted to go help Barry.”

You lifted an eyebrow at him giving him an incredulous look, “It’s not just Barry you know, Kara’s with him too.”

He shifted again, avoiding your eyes, “Yeah, I know. But, you know… you and him-”

You effectively cut him off, shushing him with your finger, “I’m just going to stop you right there and say that there is no me and Barry or Barry and I or… whatever. There’s no me and anybody. As in, I am completely single, one and only, lone wolf, you get the point.”

Your voice faded out as Clark nodded. Somewhere throughout your rant, his gaze locked onto your eyes, refusing to look elsewhere. You returned his stare, only breaking for your eyes to trace over his jawline before landing on his lips.

Pulling your hand away from his face, you cleared your throat, averting your eyes, “Uh, sorry. I got carried away. Anyways, I’m not with Barry, I’m not even interested in him like that.”

Under his breath, Clark repeated softly to himself, “You’re not interested in him.”

You nodded at his words. Your breath hitching when he offered you his hand.

“Dance with me?” he asked.

You opened your mouth to respond, but nothing came out. So instead you opted for a small nod, before grabbing his hand and swaying with him to the classical music.

After much mental debate, you took a chance and decided to lay your head on his chest. You felt his heart beating underneath the fabric of his suit, and thoughts of waking up on his bare chest crawled into your mind.

After a few seconds of hesitance at your decision, you relaxed on him, thankful that your plan didn’t backfire.

Swaying on the dancefloor, you and Clark melted into each other's arms. When being in a room filled with actual couples, your fantasy of being with Clark became a little more real.

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Returning your gown to the storage room of S.T.A.R. Labs, you turned off the lights before exiting into the hallway.

The night felt like a dream. If not for the rapid beating of your heart that still hadn’t calmed, you would have thought that you were running a fever and had hallucinated the entire evening.

You absently hummed to yourself, reliving the night in your head. You both had danced for what felt like hours. Then, when he noticed your feet getting tired, you conversed with other guests, keeping up the couple charade even when you both knew that it was no longer necessary.

Finally, leaving the party in limo so you’d both conform with other invitees, you rested against his shoulder the whole way back to the Lab. His arm wrapping around you halfway into the ride, pulling you closer to him.

Gleefully skipping down the hallway, your steps came to a halt when you heard voices around the corner.

“Clark!” You heard a female voice groan, Kara? “You can’t be serious. You both were swooning over each other the entire time but you didn’t even ask her?!”

“Kara!” Clark shushed, before exclaiming in a hushed voice, “Keep it down, someone may hear you. And it wasn’t even like that, we were just good friends enjoying each other’s company.”

You knew that you shouldn’t be eavesdropping on their conversation, especially when the use of super-hearing would be able to reveal your presence. But this involved you, so technically… it was completely alright.

“Sure, because you definitely talk about good friends nonstop and travel across the multiverse just to see them.”

Your heart raced inside of your chest at the notion that Clark traveled all this way just to spend time with you. You were pressed up against the wall, beaming at the news that Clark talked about you.

In your excitement, your buzzing legs bumped the wall, causing a noise to resonate throughout the hallway. The muffled whispers in the room came to a halt, and you brought your hands up to your face, knowing that you’d been caught.

Knowing that they could easily look through the walls to see the identity eavesdropper, you stumbled out from behind the corner, your eyes dancing around the room, refusing to meet their gaze.

“So…” you trailed off, bouncing on your heels, “I really enjoyed going undercover with you.”

Clark’s face was bright red, rivaling the appearance of a tomato. Kara’s reaction was similar to his, her having a flabbergasted expression painted across her face, surely thinking cliches like this only happened in movies.

The female Kryptonian rapidly glanced back and forth between the both of you, waiting to see what would happen next.

But before she could watch the next events unfold, Clark cleared his throat, “Uh, Kara… could we have the room?”

Kara hesitantly nodded, backing out the door. Now with Kara gone, it was just you, Clark, and the deafening silence that now engulfed the space.

Clark started with a shaky exhale, “I didn’t mean for you to hear all that. Really, I just got carried away, with my feelings, then I told Kara and they just… snowballed.”

He rubbed his hand over his face giving a muffled groan, and you awkwardly bounced on your heels while fiddling with your thumbs. You knew exactly what he was trying to say, because it was exactly how you felt.

“What I’ve been trying, and failing, to say is… will you go out on a date with me?” he blurted out.

Letting a grin spread onto your face, you frantically nodded before throwing your arms around him.

“Yes, I would love nothing more than to go on a date with you Clark!” you professed.

At your words, Clark beamed into the crook of your neck, enveloping your body with his wide frame.

Eventually pulling back from the hug, you both gave lopsided grins to one another, not quite believing that your dreams came true.

But as you both walked out of S.T.A.R. Labs, hand in hand, you knew that this was only the beginning of what would be a long life by each other’s sides.

▣▣▣▣▣ Thanks For Reading! ▣▣▣▣▣

[imasimpforshanks]

Hello! For the Alphabet Request, could I get the angst Alphabet with Sanji or the fluff alphabet with Zoro, thank you so much! :)

Angst Alphabet - Sanji

a/n: thank you for requesting! I chose the angst alphabet but I kinda regret it now because omg ANGST IS SO HARD IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT!!! but anywaysssss I hope you enjoy <3

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

Easiest answer ever. Yes. Sanji would take all the blame upon himself regardless of it really was his fault or not. Even if he wasn’t present at the time of the accident, he’d still blame himself and say it was his fault for not being there for you or being prepared for anything. He’d never forgive himself.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

It’s impossible to even imagine this man breaking up with you, ever. Seriously. He’s so passionate, and once he’s in love, he’s in love. There is no going back. BUT, I suppose, on the outrageously slim chance that he did break up with you, he would do it in the kindest way. You wouldn’t even realize you’ve been broken up with.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

If he were to make you cry, it would be entirely accidental. In fact, even then I can only picture Sanji making you cry tears of happiness. If he were to be the cause of your tears (one’s that aren’t tears of joy) he would beat himself up. He can’t stand seeing those he loves cry or upset in any manner.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

Denial would be the first emotion he expresses. It’s not possible, right? You can’t be dead. You’re not dead… because if you really were dead, it means he’s lost the light of his life. He’d be practically inconsolable for a very long time. Nothing would be able to bring back his usual liveliness. Cooking loses its appeal – I mean there’s no point if you won’t be the one enjoying his food. The Straw Hats are unable to do anything to bring back some of that fire. They get so desperate that Zoro even intentionally tries to cause a ruckus, but Sanji doesn’t react at all.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

His insecurities are the one thing he would never dear show to others. Not only would it result in endless remarks from Zoro, but, he doesn’t want to have to deal with the pitiful comments – ‘you’re not useless’, ‘you are wanted and needed here’, ‘we all love you’. Sure, he understands people are just trying to help and be reassuring but it just makes him feel worse. So, instead Sanji deals with this the only way he knows how: bottling it all up and putting on a façade.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

Fighting with you is something he hates doing. He never allows anything to get to that point. Sanji can’t risk losing you over a fight (no matter how big or small). Instead, he will apologize immediately, completely agreeing with everything you are saying. However, if it’s something he feels really strongly about (i.e your safety) he will sit you down and communicate calmly.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

The events of Whole Cake Island continue to eat him up. He knows he did it for the sake of the crew and the safety of the Baratie, but Sanji can’t seem to forget the way he disrespected his captain and hurt the people he loved the most (and the one’s that loved him too). The part that really makes him messes with him is that fact that Luffy forgave him instantly. To be honest, he wasn’t expecting Luffy to stay mad or hold a grudge, because well… that’s just not what he does. Even so, Sanji’s conscience is constantly telling him that he doesn’t deserve to be on the future pirate kings crew despite apologizing and being forgiven.

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

Being away from you for long periods of time is one of the biggest causes of pain in the relationship for Sanji. He misses you like crazy and often finds himself distracted while thinking of you.

During the early stages of a break-up Sanji is likely to be a bit more reserved, choosing to keep to himself a little more. His usual enthusiasm lacks a little bit of oomph. Sometimes, late at night, when everyone else is asleep, he makes his way to the kitchen where he sits in the dark, cigarette in hand and quietly cries to himself.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

He would be FURIOUS. Not at you of course. At whoever the hell thought it was okay to hurt the love of his life. He would be in god mode and rampage to find the son of a bitch that would ever dear to lay a hand on his partner.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

Death glares are a staple in the Sanji jealousy inventory. He’ll glare at anyone who seems to be taking too much of your attention. He also becomes a lot more clingy, using any and every excuse possible to be near you at all times. It can become a bit much at times, so if you tell him to reign it in a little, he’ll try his best.

There is one person that he refuses to let you spend any time with. Unsurprisingly, that is Zoro. He gets extremely jealous if you pay even the most minimal amount of attention to Zoro mumbling lots of “Stupid mosshead, why the hell are you spending time with him anyway?”

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Something deep inside me wants to say yes. But, he is far too kind-hearted to take away someone’s life. It is a possibility though, if the other person was to kill his s/o, or anyone else on the crew. However, for the most part, Sanji would just beat the person/people black and blue until they can’t walk, talk, or eat anymore. Basically, he won’t kill them, but they would wish they were dead after he’s finished with them.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

When he was a child, he lost his mother. She was the only person in his family that truly loved and cared for him (okay his sister did too, to an extent). His mother believed in his dreams and passions. She treated Sanji like a true human being. Losing her was devasting and made him feel more alone than he had ever felt before.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

It’s very rare for Sanji to ever make any kind of mistake with you. He remembers every date, anniversary, achievement and milestone regardless of its importance. He doesn’t speak rudely to you, lash out at you or direct any sort of violence towards you.

So, the worst thing he’s probably done is accuse you of liking Zoro more than you liked him, because you would train and workout with him. It wasn’t that it was a serious or harsh accusation, it was just that this was a conversation the two of you have had time and time again.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?

Sanji occasionally finds himself waking up in a sweat, breathing heavily. He doesn’t have nightmares too often, but when he does, they are horrifyingly vivid. It’s as if he is a starving boy again fighting for his life. OR it’s as if he’s that lonely good-for-nothing screw up of a child, locked away in a cell. It’s frightening just how realistic these nightmares feel and to bring himself back to reality all he does is find you. He needs to hold you, look at you, smell your scent, hear your quiet snores… anything. You are his safe place, a sign that everything is alright.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

He wouldn’t get mad at you. It’s extremely unlikely (though not impossible). The only possible instances that could happen is if you were to disrespect his passion and talent for food. But lets be real… why on earth would you even do that in the first place.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

Whole Cake Island was a real game changer. So much was revealed about Sanji that he never wanted anyone to know. He was terrified you would think differently of him knowing that he was a ‘failure’ (note: you didn’t think of him differently at all). However, the part that really put a strain on your relationship was how you thought he had betrayed not only yourself, but the crew too. It really was a whole rollercoaster of emotions, but in the end the two of you were able to work through it, coming out stronger.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

This man is quick to anger. Even though his reactions are usually harmless, what’s to stop him from one day completely just blowing up and doing, or saying, something to hurt those he cares about.

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))

Of course, he would be upset if you rejected his confession, because a beautiful individual has just turned him down, but honestly, he’d just continue treating you as he always. has

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

There are definitely no scars - battle-related or self-inflicted - on his body (that we know of). However, mental scars are a different story. He has plenty of those from his childhood, as do a large proportion of one piece characters.

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Never in his life would Sanji do something to break your trust. The closest it came was the incident on Zou and Whole Cake Island, it certainly looked as if he had betrayed you and broken your trust entirely, only for you to find out it was the complete opposite.

Many people think Sanji is the type of individual to cheat in a relationship. While I can see where they are coming from with this opinion, I strongly disagree. This may be an unpopular opinion, I’m not too sure, but, Sanji would never be disloyal in a relationship. Treating women properly is such a big part of his personality to the point where it is practically embedded into his muscle memory – he acts on instinct. So of course there will be times where he’s paying a little extra attention to some lady but there is no ulterior meaning to his actions – its simply his firm belief that all women deserve to be treated and doted on as the queens they are. Additionally, during the Dressrosa arc Sanji truly believed he was in a ‘relationship’ with Viola and as soon as he knew that he was trying his absolute hardest to pay attention to Viola and only Viola. His mind did wonder off to Nami and Robin but he would scold himself for that (and feel free to correct me on this if im remembering incorrectly – it’s honestly quite possible that I’ve made this up entirely LMAO it’s been a while since I’ve read and watched the dressrosa arc).

So, let me sum up again: No. Sanji has never done anything that has broken your trust.

(my apologies I really went off for a second there I’m SO sorry).

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Oh boy, he’s practically incapable of going five minutes without seeing you. He misses you so much it’s crazy. Your presence is so soothing for him, so he gets really antsy and anxious in your absence.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

I seriously can’t see him lashing out at you at all. He would never physically lash out at you but, there may possibly be potential for him to say something harsh in the heat of the moment. It literally wouldn’t even be because of anything you’d done in particular. It’d just be a build-up of things and then you happen to be the closest person and the next person to say something, and it tips him over the edge, so he snaps. He apologizes as soon as the words leave his mouth.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Sanji hates, and I mean hates being unable to help those that he cares about. It’s one of the few things that makes him feel weak. He has a kind heart and is always wanting to protect those he loves, so he does everything in his power to be ready to move in an instant. He remains aware of his surroundings, and is always on guard so that he can defend and strike when the situation calls for it.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

The most obvious object of Sanji’s hatred is Zoro, however, I wouldn’t say it’s hatred. It’s a classic rivalry that is thankfully not rooted in any true ill will.

One other thing Sanji has absolutely no tolerance for is the inappropriate or rude treatment towards women, and food. On many occasions Sanji has actually physically and verbally fought others over their treatment of women and food.

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

I know this is meant to be serious and super angsty but, my mind automatically went to the clear-clear devil fruit LMAO. Its canon that the clear-clear fruit is something Sanji wants but can’t have because it’s currently in use by another person. (to make up for this not angsty idea I’ll do another one).

Growing up all Sanji ever wanted was a family that loves him and treats him kindly. Sure, he had his mother (before she passed away), and to an extent he had his sister, but he never truly experienced a loving family growing up. However, the moment he met Zeff & the Baratie gang and then the Straw Hat Pirates he learnt something important: Family isn’t always blood.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

He tears up. A lot. He’s so conflicted between wanting to spend your final moments with you but also not being able to handle that pain. Ultimately, he decides to endure, holding your hand tightly and whispering everything he’s ever wanted to say - all his dreams about your future together and how he saw that playing out etc.

[ardentperfidy]

i’m only a little ashamed to say this but i actually shed tears when taylor and buck said they loved each other

and not the happy kind

because, even putting aside anything buddie-related, this just felt so BAD for buck. i think we were supposed to be reading this as buck taking bobby’s advice and actually talking to taylor and things turning out well, but, like… they really didn’t?? taylor was pulling back in their relationship and being distant and rude to buck, buck had to be the one to pry the truth out of her with pointed and firm conversation, he practically had to give her an ultimatum, taylor consistently rejected buck’s offers of emotional support and help, even at first when he showed up in oklahoma, and then she has the audacity to say she loves him for it?!?

it just all feels so one-sided, so about buck trying desperately to be a better partner to taylor and instead of her meeting him halfway, she lets him do all the work and then says she loves him for it. that’s NOT healthy. i honestly can’t think of an instance where taylor has provided support for buck, other than maybe when she brings him coffee and tells him to shower after eddie’s shot. it’s not inherently bad for one partner to need to shoulder a bit more of the labor when the other is going through something, but we just haven’t ever seen them have what feels like a mutually supportive tough moment. and it also picks up on strains of an early bucktaylor scene, when he invited taylor to what ended up being the awkward double date with albert, and it was all framed as buck being an asshole to taylor when she clearly showed up to hook up! and it wasn’t like she’d been some devoted friend to him prior to that either, where he was repaying her kindness by being a jerk. so she hasn’t necessarily done anything to earn his friendship and has in fact been a little shitty for wanting to just hook up again but it’s presented as buck is selfish, buck has to be the one to do better, to be better than buck 1.0.

idk, I think especially in the context of buck’s past, this just all feels so sad and icky to me. it feels like such an abby 2.0, where it’s all about what buck can do for someone else, how he can help them on their journey, and we never see buck with romantic partners who care to help him on his. which makes me want to cry again, because i am the captain of the evan buckley just deserves better ship.

[thisisthefanfic]

Soothe You

pairing: Hunter x fem reader

Category: hurt comfort, fluff

Warnings: angst, brief innuendo

Rating: PG

note: for my dear friend Lynn, it’s not my best work but I hope it makes you smile 💞💞💞💞

Being part of Clone Force 99 wasn’t an easy job at all, full stop. They were loud, rowdy, and every job they took was very dangerous, and when they weren’t on a mission? It was still as wild. Not many people meshed well with them either, and they were well aware of it, Crosshair would scowl at people so harshly sometimes that would be all it would take to scare someone away, but luckily they had you there.

When you first showed up on the job as their new mechanic, the first thing Wrecker bellowed to his brothers was “WE GOT ANOTHER!” Leaving you a little more concerned about exactly how hard this new assignment would be, but it turned out pretty well. You were a very hard worker, and very pleasant to be around, the only time they had seen you snap was at some rude patrons at 79’s and when you shot some droids when they needed some help, but your dedication sealed the deal. It didn’t matter what the task was, you worked it through til the end whether it was fixing their ship up, helping Echo with his cybernetic parts, or being a comforting presence, they all liked you a lot.

Especially Hunter.

Echo was the first to notice the way the Sergeant would watch you, a soft look on his face as he’d shuffle his feet, and when he decided to mention this observation to Tech one day quietly, he was surprised to see him get a mischievous look on his face and call over Crosshair and Wrecker, claiming they needed to do something about it. Their plan started with testing the theory a bit more, and they couldn’t help but snicker watching their vod pout a bit as he watched you work on Echo’s arm, Wrecker laughed even louder when Hunter spoke up “(y/n), can you check something with the engine real quick? It....sputtered.”

You didn’t notice his crush on you at first, but you certainly felt the same way about him, how could you not when he looked like that? Not to mention how skilled he was and that voice...it was too much. Now, actually telling anyone about those feelings was a different story, but apparently the rest of the Batch had apparently hyped Hunter up once they finally got him to open up, and he approached you one day with a handful of flowers from the fields nearby, telling you “I looked in that field for hours, but none of the flowers came close to your beauty, but these were the best of the bunch,” leaning closer to whisper he had added. “It’s not near as good as you deserve, but I hope you like them mesh’la.” You thought you’d combust from happiness at the moment, but instead you let out a happy squeak and Hunter almost melted.

You two had been dating for almost a month now, it hasn’t gotten too serious yet since you were both busy and wanted to take things slow, he refused to do anything you were 120% comfortable with and would glare at the boys whenever they made any jokes about you two. He was really the best, and he loved having you around even just to sit and look at the stars or help each other with a project, he had never smiled this much before you, and his brothers noticed. It was perfect, slow and sweet, but of course life outside of your relationship wasn’t always so nice.

Hunter and his brothers had a very difficult job for sure, and that came with lots of tension and instances of very grumpy or upset clones, and you did your best to make it through it and be a good shoulder to lean on, but sometimes it felt like a little too much to handle. You’d been having a rough day, and the problems with the ship you were trying to fix didn’t seem to be getting resolved and you finally snapped from the stress and threw your tools down to go outside, needing to escape the dark hull of the Havoc Marauder.

“I just can’t keep doing all this,” you huffed out once you found a tree to lean against, hugging your knees to your chest as you let out a sigh. “I’m failing them...” burying your face in your knees, you closed your eyes and tried to calm down, not wanting them to see you like that.

You could faintly hear the Batch off in the distance returning to their ship, Wrecker loudly laughing about something before it got silent, they must have noticed you weren’t there. Stiffening a bit, you hoped they wouldn’t find you right now, but when you’re dating the leader of Clone Force 99 who has enhanced senses, you weren’t going to be alone for long.

“Cyar’ika?” you heard next to you, flinching a bit. You knew he was quick at this tracking stuff but that was too fast. “Are you hurt?” He asked with a worried frown, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder as he kneeled next to you.

You tried not to look at him, feeling tears start to build up from his worry and gentle touch, but he gently turned you to face him. “(y/n), can I hold you?” He asked carefully, and that broke your restraint as you sobbed and let him cuddle you to his chest like a kitten.

“I’m sorry,” you hiccuped. “I’m just upset and I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I’m failing you.”

“Cyar’ika, you’re not failing me, you do more work than we do at times, and not feeling good isn’t a failure, its just a sign that you need some help and love,” he shushed you as he ran his hand through your hair, his rough voice calming you slowly.

“But how do I make it stop? I don’t want to be this way all the time.” You sighed.

“When I get overwhelmed, I go to my bunk and lay down to take deep breaths, and I think of things that make me feel good—like you.” He grinned. “You’ve seen how I get when I get sensory overload, that stuff happens to all of us. You help me through it, may I help you?”

Looking up after a moment, you were met by his earnest eyes as he seemed to hold you tighter, refusing to let you go til you felt better. Smiling softly, you nodded. “Yes please...”

You yelped a bit when he stood up and scooped you up, still holding you to his chest as he walked to the ship, ignoring his brothers who started asking him a million questions, scowling at them as he held you protectively. “Where are we going?” You whispered as he swatted away Tech. “My bunk,” he flushed when he noticed your look. “No no not like that! It’s just the closest quiet spot.”

Reaching his bunk room, he laid down and let you rest next to him, pulling his weighted blanket over both of you as he let you get settled. “Now what?” You asked with a giggle.

“Just lay down and close your eyes ok,”

He answered.

Closing your eyes, you almost rolled back over to gape at him when you started hearing humming. Staying still, a small smile spread across your face as you listened more closely to him. If anyone had told you Hunter was a great singer you wouldn’t have believed it but your proof was laying next to you.

He mumbled some of the lines of the soft song he was singing, but his rich voice and gentle hum was slowly helping you relax into a drowsy state. You started to hum along with him, and after a brief pause, he sung with you with more confidence, curling against you tighter as you both started to drift off to sleep.....

*********************

Blinking your eyes open, you stretched slowly before turning over to look at Hunter, smiling at how peaceful he looked in his sleep. Unfortunately the peace was interrupted when someone started knocking on the door. “Breakfast is ready, hurry up, it will be cold in about five minutes, or eaten by us in ten.” Tech said through the door, walking away with a sigh as a ruckus came from another part of the ship.

“Kriff how long were we asleep?” Hunter yawned as he woke up, frowning a bit from the sudden noise of his brothers. “Ah they were fine by themselves I’m sure. How are you now mesh’la? Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you Hunter,” you smiled at him, before asking. “Have you ever sung around anyone before?”

Looking a bit sheepish, he shrugged as he sat up and replied. “Ah no, I didn’t think I was very good and didn’t want the boys making fun of me.”

Sitting up, you threw your arms around him and gave him a kiss, smiling when you felt him return it, a pleased hum rumbling from his chest. Pulling away, you sighed. “Thank you so much, that means a lot to me that you trusted me with that, I love you so much cyare.”

“I love you too, and thank you for trusting me to help you.” He smiled, helping you to your feet as you both got up.

“Oh and one other thing,” you grinned as you reached the door. “I’ve never heard you talk so much like you did yesterday—and in your sleep.”

Trotting off to get your breakfast before it was eaten, Hunter followed after you sputtering “In—in my sleep? What did I say? Come back!”

[burnedbyshoto]

a brush of luck

— In a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. —

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, cursing

word count: 4,229

a/n: this is for the bnaharem collab and I was super horrible and was not ready and i just woke up and threw this together please dont hate me uhuhuhuhhh see the masterlist here!!!

message to join my tag list!

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“Hey, y/l/n, you forget this!”

Your hair was falling into your face, your face flustered, and your binders filled with paper seemed to be liquid as they slowly fell to the ground.

Kaminari stood behind you when you turned around. His lips were picked into a kind smile. It was a teasing one too by the small glint in his eyes while he held onto your backpack and phone. A look of self-realized stupidity washed over your face when your head threw back into a groan. How stupid were you, really?

“I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, throwing your things onto the nearest desk. You felt the tips of your ears burn with embarrassment when Kaminari helped you slip on your backpack and pocketed your phone in the jacket pocket. “I swear I’m the most forgetful person in the world.”

“Well, you do really clinch the title of the person who would forget their head if it wasn’t on their shoulders.”

Snorting, you shoved him with your shoulder, and he helped you regather your things with a low groan.

“Let’s see the tattoo,” you grin, ready to head out once again. Groaning loudly, Kaminari didn’t seem to want to give in to your demand, but still, with a twitch of his eye and a shove of his sleeve, he showed off his arm. “You know what, I’m going to say it—”

“I’m going to say it, I don’t care that you broke your elbows,” Kaminari finishes the phrase with you with a snort.

“Do you think it’s the first thing out of their mouth or matching tattoo?” you asked curiously when you blond best friend also prepped to leave the classroom for the day. 

“I hope its the first thing out of their mouth, imagine how fucking ultra sexy foxy hot that would be,” Kaminari moaned, his eyes rolling to the back of his eyes at the thought. Gagging at the visual horniness of that thought, you walked away, grinning at the way that Kaminari stumbled over his feet to catch up with you.

This was the world you lived in, the world of soulmates.

You weren’t sure when they had first started, but you know that it wasn’t always a phenomenon that was around. When you roamed the internet looking at old, old stories on soulmates, these theories, these worlds were built on one single concept.

They wrote about a world of black and white for everyone until that fateful moment, or matching tattoos for everyone. But no, this world was much more complicated, much more detailed. Yes, in the world there were a lot of theories that ended up being true, but the thing they didn’t see coming was that every couple — every polyamorous relationship consisted of a unique theme.

Kaminari’s soulmate was linked with tattoo’s, and the purpose behind said symbol was unknown, unheard of until he met them. Yours, as you could guess and know, was also different. Pressing your fingers against the pen that sat on the inside pocket of your uniform jacket, you smiled when Kaminari’s arm was thrown around you.

“At least you’ve never lost or forgotten that pen of yours, that would be dangerous!”

“I promise I will never ever forget it.”

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You sat on your bed nearing midnight. You were cocooned into your blankets flipping through your Hero Lawbook that you were supposed to have read months ago, but now finally was. Humming to yourself, you read through the apparent laws and the not so evident laws.

For instance, there is a law that Pro Heroes are not allowed to eat off the edge of buildings anymore! American transfer students had littered so much it became a law!

Snorting to yourself, you flipped the page.

But something warm pressed into your forearm, the most heated energy that sent shivers down your spine. It was comforting as it was ethereal. The second your body recognized the feeling, the Hero Lawbook went soaring across the room, and you grabbed your pen that was waiting at your side for ages now. 

Hi, sorry I’m just able to get back to you. I had a bunch of homework and friends who just let me leave them.

Smiling to yourself, you twirled the pen in your fingers and scribbled down your response:

It’s all good, I’ve been studying this entire time too, was just bored and didn’t respond to you earlier today!

Your soulmate theme was straightforward and quite comprehensive — it was dubbed the Forearm and Pen theme (you hated that theme). You could communicate with your soulmate by writing with the pen on your arm, but it only worked with that pen, nothing else.

The year you were to turn sixteen, you received a pen from literally out of the blue. You remember celebrating New Year with your class in your first year at U.A.; it had been an enjoyable night! Everything in life was still going fantastic, and your class was finally past the excellent friend’s point and felt like a genuine family. You remember hugging and telling everyone good night, still being fifteen at that point, and stumbling back to your room exhausted.

When you had gotten back to your room, you didn’t even undress; simply tugging off your pants and removing your bra, you threw yourself onto the bed. But you had landed on something stiff and painful, groaning your hands shuffled for whatever it was that you fell on, and when you grabbed it, you froze at the sight of the white box. 

Was this a gift?

Your entire life, you had always wondered if you did have a soulmate, most people you knew after all had soulmate markers that appeared since birth. But you were perfectly normal. You saw all colors; you had no shared pain; there was no tattoo, no mind link, no dream meetings.

Nothing.

You were normal.

Sighing, you opened the box, hoping that it was from someone you at the very least respected.

Inside was a silver pen.

You blinked your eyes rapidly, unsure of what you were looking at, there were no initials, no engraving, nothing. 

It was an exquisite pen, and despite what you thought, it was very, very light. Frowning, your fingers pushed down on the pen, but there was nothing that came out, was there no ink?

Shrugging, you dragged it against your arm feeling the way that the cool tip delicately massaged your arm. It felt nice.

“Holy shit!”

Your eyes saw the pretty grey silvery ink on your forearm. It stood out against your skin, the ink appearing nowhere else but your arm, and then it hit you.

This was for your soulmate!

With excitement tearing through you, your exhaustion no longer bitting on your skull, but the overwhelming need to know that this was for your soulmate shook you awake. Twirling the pen in your fingers, you couldn’t help but start writing.

OMG HI

You sat there staring at your forearm, unsure as to what to do next. What do you do next?

Hey?

If your heart could be anywhere but your chest, you were nearly positive it existed within your throat at this very moment. This was nervewracking, holy shit.

Sorry, you don’t know me, but I’m ___ ___.

You frowned when you tried to write your name, it was stopping you.

It seems that we do have some rules to this entire thing.

They responded back to you, and as if they could hear you, you groaned loudly.

This soulmate shit was already stopping your excitement, it seemed.

From that very first night, the two of you were able to discover a few things. First off, anything too personal was not allowed to be written out. So names, location, and gender were the biggest ones. Birthdays were not, and you were quick to find out that both of you were still fifteen. Second of all, just because you couldn’t figure out where exactly you both were located, you did manage to put together that you were both in Japan. Third of all, your soulmate was a Hero in Training just like you and was a male. Last, of all, you were quick to realize that you were in love with the way your body felt like it was gently warming up whenever he messaged you.

I think I deserve a round of applause.

You grinned after writing your sentence, your eyes watching while the warmth filled your body and his writing slowly appearing on your forearm.

Did you not forget anything today? I find that hard to believe.

You had to suppress a scream.

WELL, IT HAPPENED! I GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO BRING BACK TO MY ROOM WITH ME!!

Weren’t you the one who forgot to bring your entire backpack to school the other day?

NO! I said I almost did, but my bestie got it for me!

How do you forget everything? I think you should try to make a list to make sure that you always have things you need for the day.

... I do… but I always lose the list, and im always running late…

You’re the worst…

Congrats bbg, I’m your soulmate

The world really doesn’t want to bless me with a good life, it seems…

HEY, THAT’S MEAN!

The two of you banter for what seems like hours, the night sky fading from blackness to the deep blue of the sky right before the sunrise. You had spent the entire night curled into your pillow, your face shoved into the soft fabric to suppress your chortling snorts because you geniunely enjoyed interacting with your soulmate. But it was late, and you both had classes early that next morning.

Okay, asshole, I need to sleep! I got this stupid test tomorrow that I did not study for. I'll write to ya tomorrow!! Goodnight!!!

Don’t be rude to your soulmate :( but goodnight, and good luck on that test, sorry for keeping you up.

Smiling at his words, you put the pen to your forearm one last time.

I will never ever accept your apology for making me stay up, I love talking with you, goodnight soulmate, sweet dreams.

You placed the pen down, your eyes fluttering close, heavy with sleep. But still, no exhaustion could suppress the fluttering warmth in your body when words appeared on your arm. 

Sweet dreams, soulmate.

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“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned when you sleepily slammed into the person standing in front of you. 

Blinking tiredness away from your eyes — poorly at that too — you focused up at Shouto. Grinning, you waved at your classmate, who looked almost as exhausted as you felt and definitely looked.

“It’s okay,” he nodded at you stepping to the side so that the two of you could walk side to side.

“You ready for that test today?” you asked after moments of silence.

You and Todoroki Shouto were not as close as you would like to be. Since day one, you had always had a thing for the duality of a man, and while it was mostly superficial feelings derived from the fact that he was attractive above anything else, it still made you awkward around him. At the time, your feelings were still holding you down, you always fully believed that you had no soulmate, so you thought maybe you could sweep him off his feet. It was rumored that his scar covered up his own soulmate mark, so there was no way for him to know who his soulmate was.

Selfishly and embarrassingly, you hoped that you could have him.

Then you met your soulmate, and things changed.

But now you and your classmates were all eighteen and held the world in your hands, yet you couldn’t speak to him usually still.

“There’s no test today?” Shouto stilled, his eyes narrowing in confusion, and your eyes screwed too.

“Isn’t it… Friday? We have a Hero Law test?”

“Y/l/n,” Shouto snorted a grin spreading across his features, “It’s Wednesday.”

If there was a god, he would shoot you right now.

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment while you walked faster to the classroom, Shouto keeping up with your pace easily, he was taller than you after all.

“Shut up,” you warned, your gaze not reaching Shouto’s who was staring at you.

“I wasn’t speaking.”

“I could hear you thinking!”

Shouto put on a smirk, his eyes teasing you, and his mouth dropping to speak, but there was a loud interruption.

“Y/L/N-CHAAAANNNNNN!!!!”

Both of you turned to see Kaminari chasing after you, his arms waving, looking out of breath.

“YOU FORGOT YOUR JACKET AND TIE!”

Shouto chuckled beside you, and you stared down to see that you were, in fact, only wearing half of your uniform. If there’s a god, he will end you now, you thought.

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You're not serious right now, are you?

Going on three years of knowing your soulmate, or at the very least talking with him, you thought you had a good understanding of who he was. He was strong, powerful, and kind. He came off a bit standoffish at times but was the dumbest person you’ve ever known. Common sense was not his friend, and that was okay. 

Even at times when the two of you had your differing opinions because it did happen, it never snowballed more into a small annoyance that the two of you would apologize for and move on. But this was something that shouldn’t have had become a fight, it shouldn’t have been anything more potent than a difference of opinion, but when you suggested entertaining the thought of when the two of you would finally meet, he was uncharacteristically cold. 

Hurt by his tone, you told him, and he said you to grow up until it became this written fight.

Why couldn’t you talk about meeting?

Why didn’t he want to think about what would happen when the two of you would meet?

It was getting ugly for no reason, a fight just to fight, and it was making you nauseous.

But he crossed a line that couldn’t be fixed when he wrote a simple sentence:

Just because you’re my soulmate doesn’t mean I have to love you, meet you, or marry you.

So there you sat, your bottom lip trembling with tears streaking down your blotchy face. He wasn’t being serious, was he? There was no way… no fucking way this was him. The warmth that flooded your body with his new message felt ice-cold, poisoning you from the inside out while you read it.

You're my soulmate, but I have no obligation to do anything with you now or ever. The world chose you for me, not me. I didn’t choose you. I don’t owe you anything here. Soulmates are bullshit and don’t fucking bother messaging me again if you expect me to fall in love with you just because our “souls are connected”

It was needless to say that you didn’t respond back, not because you felt like he should love you because of your connected souls, but because your sobbing and broken emotions left you curled into a ball, ready for a sleepless slumber to take you.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“You don’t look too hot,” Kaminari told you, hitting you with his foot when your bleary and puffy eyes stared at your best friend.

Kirishima and Mina, who were sitting beside him, elbowed him at the same time, berating him for his insensitive comment. You could feel Sero and Bakugou staring at you, their eyes concerned and curious. 

“What’s eating ya up?” Sero asked, and you found a rock-forming in your throat when you shrugged.

“Soulmate problems…”

“That was fucking obvious,” Bakugou rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his water. “Tell us the problem, not a stupid summary.”

Surprisingly that’s all it took for you to come undone, and you explained what happened with tears falling down your face and a sniffling nose. There was a lot to tell them about it, and you showed them the pen while explaining the entire story. They listened to every word you uttered, faces concern but taking in everything you said.

“You’re an idiot,” Bakugou spoke the second you were finished, his eye twitching while he glared at you. You swallowed thickly, placing the pen on the table while Bakugou edged closer towards you. “He’s not wrong, you know, stupid fucking soulmates are just this irrational solution to an irrational problem. Love is much more complex than that, and you don’t seem to have been fighting for him in that way either, sure you seem like good friends, but that doesn’t give you the right to expect him to love you. But he was a complete fucking dick about it, so I say kill him.”

Your — and all of the rest of your friend group — eyes widened at his words. With nothing to follow him up, you all continued to stare at him while he munched on his food.

“WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING EXTRAS LOOKING AT!”

“Is Bakugou a love expert?” Mina’s stage whispered to the group.

“He almost was, but then he said to kill y/n’s soulmate, so probably not anymore,” Kirishima responded back.

“SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

It took four days before the warm feeling shot through your body again.

Fuck, I'm really sorry, I was a complete fucking dick. I said a lot of things, and i didn’t mean to say I was angry and upset, and I know that you're upset, rightfully upset, but i don’t want to lose you.

No matter how long it took for him to get back to you, your heart squeezed with euphoria and poison, your hands moving to grab your pen in your pocket.

It wasn’t there.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.

You tore apart your room, trying to find the silver pen but you couldn’t find it.

Stay as mad as you want, I just… please talk with me soon, even if it takes five days. I'm sorry, soulmate.

Frustrated tears poured down your face, nausea almost making you wheeze when you stared at the words you wanted to reply to.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

One day after he apologized:

Don’t want to bother you, just wanted to apologize again and say that I miss you, talk to you soon.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Five days after he apologized:

I’m not really sure if this is normal or not… I'm not really… educated when it comes to romance and shit like that, especially when it comes to someone being upset with the other… my female classmates told me that I should expect a response from you soon. I'm really sorry, please write soon.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

So it seems that i’ve fucked up to the point of no return. I'm sorry, I miss you, I love you. Maybe one day I can reconvince you that I'm your soulmate for a good reason, but I guess I’ll have to work on that.

It had been fourteen days since he had apologized, and you sat in your room with tears streaming down your face. You wanted to respond back, but even fourteen days of tirelessly searching U.A.’s entire campus, ripping it stone by stone, there was no finding your pen. Every day without fail, he gave you an update of his day and another apology. Every day they got more hopeless, more pained.

This was his last message for a while, he needed time to work things out with himself now, the strain of this and graduation coming soon being too much to handle at the moment. 

Wiping your tears for what felt like the hundredth time within this past twenty minutes, you stood up on your wobbly legs to go downstairs for water. You were dehydrated and absolutely needed to get out for both fresh air and water.

Walking down the stairwell with swollen eyes, you groaned when you slammed into a body when you opened the door to the common area. 

Shouto blinked down at you, and you felt your throat clampdown at the pained look in his own eyes.

“Have you been—”

“Are you—”

You both spoke over each other, and despite the horrid feeling coursing through your bones, you cracked a smile.

“I’m getting water,” you explained with a shrug. “Long night ya know, just needed to replenish my system so I can cry some more.”

Shouto stared at you, and with horror, you realized precisely what you had said.

“Oh my god, ignore me!” you squeak, covering your face trying to move past him, but Shouto seemed to be curious now and followed after you.

“What’s making you cry?” he asked while you rush to the fridge to get your glass of water.

“What’s got you upset?” you counter downing the cup of water.

Shouto sighed, leaning against the counter of the island in the kitchen. “Would it be weird to say its soulmate issues?”

Swallowing the water in your mouth, you shook your head, a tired smile on your face, “Embarrassingly enough, my issue is also with soulmate stuff.”

A joyless chuckle escaped his mouth, and Shouto’s head tilted backward. You studied his jaw and the way his body seemed tense, too tense.

“What happened?” you press gently standing next to him, shouldering him gently.

“I fucked up, and now my soulmate won’t talk with me,” he says slowly, his head nodding while he glances at you. “I guess telling your soulmate you don’t want them is a bad thing.”

You snorted, nodding your head in agreement, “It’s not just a bad thing, its a super fucked up thing.”

Shouto sighed in agreement, and there was silence when you took another drink of your water.

“I didn’t know you were in contact with your soulmate, though,” you smile wistfully, your hand twirling the cup on the counter. “How’d you meet them?”

“I actually don’t know who they are,” Shouto admitted with pursed lips, and your eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “I have that soulmate thing where you write on your arm, and they can read it.”

Showing off his arm, you glanced at the pale skin. You nodded your head when he pulled out a silver pen that looked similar to yours.

“Well,” you shrug your shoulders, motioning him to write. “I’m no expert, but let’s see if I can help you get your soulmate to forgive you.”

“T-They haven’t responded to me in two weeks…” Shouto’s voice cracks, and the number burns a hole through your stomach. “I’ve written every day, but no answer. I don’t really know what to do, and all the girls in the class don’t really know what to do. Bakugou also said to go fuck myself over it, so I don’t think I really have had any help.”

Ignoring the twisting in your stomach, you willed your weirdness away to shuffle in your seat, “Well, you haven’t asked me, asshole, come on, let’s see what I can do.”

Shouto chuckles, his head nodding, “That is true, but to be fair, you’ve been anywhere, but in the dorm these past few weeks.”

“I lost something,” you mutter embarrassed, but you shake away your problems and point at his wrist. “Write an apology.”

You watched when he wrote, the words expressing his apology and love seeping through the silvery ink on his wrist. You told him to add things to delete things, but in the end, it ended up feeling like a genuine and sincere apology. You watched his pen leave his skin and a warmth shot through your arm. 

Shivering, you looked at your arm, trying to see what your soulmate had written to you even though he said he was going to stop.

The words he wrote appeared on your skin.

Your eyes widened when you stared at Shouto, who was also staring at your arm. 

Your eyes met in an almost world-altering way. This entire time, for three whole years, the two of you had been by each other and never knew. Midnight conversations wasted through ink instead of face to face. Your heart hammered in your throat, and tears once again poured from your eyes when you both stood at full height, staring at each other.

Todoroki Shouto was your soulmate — he was yours, and you were his.

“I’m so sorry, y/n, I don’t know what happened to me. You didn’t deserve that, and fuck, I’m so sorry—”

“I lost my pen, and I couldn’t respond back, I forgave you, but I had no way of reaching back! But I was always forcing myself onto you—”

You both interrupted the other, and now you stared at each other, drinking in the presence of each other and belittling yourselves for not knowing sooner; looking at it now, it was just so obvious. You can’t help it and pull him into a hug. His strong arms wrap around you, and you can hear his hammering heart on your ear, and it fills you up with the familiar warmth when he writes you. This seemed to be a brush of luck it seems.

“Can I kiss you, soulmate.”

“Please do.”

[coldmorte]

So i have some unpopular opinions; i feel like Dutch doesnt sleep around as much as people would like to think. He probably likes the fact that people think that of him, even if its not his style. Also...i dont think Dutch and Molly have any chemistry.

Howdy! (ASK 1 OF 2)

I apologize it took me some time to actually reply to this, especially because it is such a great ask! I definitely agree with both points made here, but I was debating how I wanted to write a response (and how far to take it).

Anyway, I'm open to hearing unpopular opinions! I know I have plenty of my own, so I'm not really one to judge others (as long as there is mutual respect) ☺️

My response is fairly long, and it deals with some sensitive topics. I decided to add a cut to this first ask, just to be safe! 💜💜💜

(Warning: SPOILERS below)

In regard to Dutch sleeping around, there are a few reasons why I don’t think he does it as much as it is often implied/assumed (I’m primarily limiting this to the timeframe of RDR2, Ch. 1-6).

First of all, Molly explicitly says Dutch doesn’t show her a lot of physical attention, even though he is her SO. If he’s not sleeping with her much, I doubt that he is going around with any other women at this time. He seldom leaves camp, outside of doing missions, so it is unlikely that he would meet up with anybody not in the gang. It just doesn’t seem plausible to me, as it would put him in a vulnerable position.

Dutch complains multiple times - including to Molly - that he is under stress and concerned about the Pinkertons closing in on them. Why would he go around outside the camp sleeping with random women? It would put him at the risk of being seen or reported on, and I believe he is smarter than to take on the unnecessary danger. Generally, he doesn’t spend much time in civilized areas, unless he needs to.

Not to mention, stress can be a real inhibitor of sex drive. For the entirety of the game, Dutch exhibits various degrees of anxiety and depression. I believe the gang and his personal safety were of much more concern to him, thus diminishing his interest in sex.

Speaking of the gang, I don’t personally see Dutch as sleeping around with the women in it that much. He did have a relationship with Susan in the past. Whether anything was still going on between them or not is uncertain, but if there was something, it probably was not serious or very frequent. In RDR1, he also suggests that he slept with Abigail, but if this happened, I doubt it would have occurred during the events of RDR2. They hardly ever interacted, and when Abigail did talk about Dutch, it was almost always in a negative manner. Dutch also showed some interest in Mary-Beth. However, I don’t think it went beyond flirting. She didn’t show much interest in him, and I think word would have gotten around if he tried to force anything, especially to Arthur (I am not going to discuss the events of RDR1 in any more detail here because that is a whole different conversation). But other than them, who else in the gang? There were not enough interactions with other women to suggest there was anything between them and Dutch.

Also, sex was considerably more risky in 1899 than it is today, and the means of contraception were not as dependable. For instance, The Pill didn’t go onto the market for another 60 years, and it was more difficult to get ahold of other birth control methods. This was partly because there were not as many technological advancements in this field and because there were a few laws that prevented reliable access to contraceptives (ex: The Comstock Laws). Condoms were arguably one of the easier birth control methods to find, but they still were not as widely available then as they are today (the quality was arguably not as good either). As I understand it, some searching was generally required to get ahold of condoms (usually in more civilized areas, which Dutch tried to avoid).

Dutch is a very contradictory character. My point in bringing up birth control is because although on some level I think Dutch probably would have liked to have actual children, I do not think he was serious enough about it to take any risks that might have led to an unwanted pregnancy during the timeframe of RDR2. As I mentioned, he was under a lot of stress with the gang. A biological child on top of that most likely would have overwhelmed him, and it would have required a long-term commitment to not only the child, but to the mother as well. I believe Dutch was smart enough to recognize this danger, and since birth control methods were not as widely available or reliable, he would not have wanted to sleep around too much (unwanted pregnancies were relatively common during this era).

I’ve written in the past that I believe Dutch had a certain degree of self-consciousness underneath his pride, so I do agree that he probably would have liked people finding him attractive or seductive. These traits emanate a sense of power and confidence, which would have provided a more favorable presentation of himself to others. These perceptions certainly would have helped to conceal his own self-doubts and insecurities, so he would have welcomed them, rather than try to refute them.

Now, in regard to the chemistry between Dutch and Molly, I agree. I think it was a pretty bad relationship all around. I don’t see its flaws as being entirely one-sided.

I will get into this a little more on the next ask, but I will discuss a few things here first.

Starting with Dutch, I will admit that he could have treated Molly a lot better. Even if he wasn’t happy with her or the status of their relationship, he should have seriously talked to her more. She deserved that, at the very minimum. There were a few instances where she tried to get his attention, and he just brushed her off. Again, like I said, even if he wasn’t very keen on the relationship anymore, he should have at least been honest about that. Then, as I already discussed, he had some mildly flirtatious conversations with Mary-Beth. I certainly do not think this helped matters. It was rude the way he insulted Molly for bringing up his interactions with Mary-Beth and how he pretended he had no idea what Molly was talking about.

Onto Molly, I don’t think she was perfect either. I know Dutch didn’t talk with her nearly as much as he should have, but she didn’t seem to show a whole lot of support for him in return. Dutch expressed that he was feeling stressed and not up to much physical activity, to which she got quite upset. She seemed to turn some arguments towards herself and her needs, with little regard for Dutch’s wellbeing. I do think she was selfish for demanding him to give her something he did not want to give/could not provide. Also, she refused to help the gang find leads or assist with chores, even when told to do so by others (ex: Dutch and Arthur). She tended to act above everybody else, claiming she wasn’t a servant to the needs of the gang as a whole. Though I can respect her sense of independence in that regard, it did show a sense of entitlement. Even Dutch donated to the gang funds, and as the leader, he was the one responsible for overseeing the vast majority of missions they engaged in. Molly was the only person who really did not contribute much. (Side note: Even UNCLE - the laziest bastard in the West - helped with leads and contributions!!)

I will get into this more in the following ask, but although I know she loved Dutch to an extent, I think part of her fascination with him was rooted in infatuation. Little is known about her background, but it is canon that she came from a wealthy and influential family in Ireland. I think part of the reason why she liked Dutch so much was because of the powerful position he held. She frequently lashed out at people who she perceived as challenging the reality of her “love” for him, such as Abigail and Karen. In one instance, Molly even went so far as to slap Karen across the face because she thought Karen was talking negatively about her. There was no evidence to prove or disprove Molly’s beliefs, but it did show that she was pretty sensitive about criticism (whether it was perceived or real) in regard to her relationship with Dutch.

Now, Dutch was wrong to use Molly’s fascination with him and his role in the gang to seduce her. But like I said, both of them had their issues. It was just a bad situation from both sides, and I do not think it should have happened in the first place. I don’t necessarily blame one more than the other. To be honest, I think they each deserved someone who fit them better.

And if I am being even MORE honest, I think Dutch should have stayed with Susan. She loved him, and he made a big mistake in ever giving her up. I believe the events of RDR2 would have turned out very differently, had he kept her closer.

(Ending note: Outside of serious posts - like this one - I know I make quite a few jokes about Dutch on my blog in regard to sexuality, but I do not mean for much of what I say in that regard to be taken *too* seriously. I don’t particularly want to discuss my personal life in the text of this post, but I will say that even if Dutch was a person I knew in real life, I’m not sure I would seriously want anything to happen between us. However, that is another matter entirely that has nothing whatsoever to do with him. I absolutely LOVE his character to death, and my blog will remain dedicated to his role in the RDR story for as long as I am around! That is all that should matter!!!)

Also, it is perfectly fine and normal to separate fiction from reality! It is okay to alter interpretations of Dutch (and/or Molly) for the sake of artistic expression, as long as the reasons can be justified. Furthermore, it is fine to disagree with me!!

I just hope this response gave you a thing or two to consider. Thank you again for sending your message in!! 💜💜💜

[conaionaru]

Woman’s game (Ivar the Boneless/Hvitserk)

The other shoe drops

Synopsis: Ivar leaves and Skuld is in mortal danger

Warnings: violence, slow descent into insanity, angst

The next morning, Skuld woke up early to buy wood ash soap while Ivar got ready for his departure. "Skuld!"

Queen Aslaug stood behind her and stared her down like a predator stalking its prey. "Yes, Your Grace?"

"Let's take a walk." She took the earl's daughter by the hand and led her away from the common folk to the Great Hall's steps. "Tell me what you think you are doing?"

"I am buying wood ash soap. I want to bleach my hair. I am sure it would drive Mother mad when she returns. And I think I would make a pretty blonde." Skuld teased charmingly, trying to ease the tension around them.

Aslaug scoffed and clenched Skuld's hand tighter. To the eyes of the other's, they might have seemed like two bonding women instead of rivals. "That is not what I mean, and you know it. I can see when a person is smarter than they pretend to be. You, for instance, are far more intelligent than you let on."

"Is this about Ivar, My Queen?" She fluttered her eyelashes innocently, a mischievous spark hidden in her eyes.

"Of course, it is." They continued their walk inside, Aslaug sitting down on her throne to seem more powerful. It was just like Ylva scolding her children while sharpening her weapons, a power move. "What are your intentions?"

"I assure you, I mean no harm to Ivar."

"Then why are the thralls walking around town talking of what you two do in bed? Margrethe is buying moon tea for you, and everyone signs your praise. They think him a monster."

"They gossip as women tend to do when bored. I ordered Margrethe to do a task for me; what she did after is not my fault. I am as angry as you are. No one should know what happens in anyone's bed. That is between the lovers themselves."

Aslaug scoffed and leaned closer to seize Skuld up. "So you and Ivar are really lovers... It is not just a rumor?"

Skuld strode up the steps, smiling at Aslaug reassuringly. "I swear I mean no harm to Ivar. He intrigued me with his sharp mind and tongue. I enjoy his company, any form he is willing to offer me. Everything I did was out of curiosity and affection. I can't claim to love him yet, but I care for him and his happiness - his wellbeing."

Kneeling at Aslaug's side, she took her hand in hers and looked up with vulnerable eyes. Whispering the secret, she wanted none to hear. "It is like he bewitched me. I can't sleep without him near, and every time I hear him laugh or see him smile... It's as if I finally found meaning for what I am meant to be."

Aslaug nodded and smiled at her. "That is good; Ivar deserves a nice woman. After what lies Margrethe spread before..."

"If I could do anything to make those rumors stop..."

"Leave that to me. Go along now. You have hair to bleach." She sent her off with a smile. Skuld walked away and sighed in satisfaction. The whole Aslaug is a threat thing was solved easily. Margrethe did as she was bid, thinking she was saving her own skin, only to help Skuld.

When Ivar arrived at the docks to depart, he looked at her strangely. "What happened to your hair?"

"Don't you like my hair, Ivar? Don't you think I am pretty anymore?" She teased; the blush on his cheeks was proof enough of the answer. He liked it but was too prideful to admit it, especially in front of his brothers and father. "I wish you good fortune on your journey. May you come back victorious and well."

"So you will not forget about me while I am away?" The truth was, she would probably sleep with somebody in secret, but he doesn't need to know that. She was a woman with needs, and gods know when he will return.

"Oh Ivar, how could I ever forget a man like you? You gave me many things to remember you by. And when they fade... I will pray for your return day and night." He smirked at the answer and turned to leave, the new crutches making him taller. It was strange to look into his eyes without having to crouch or kneel.

He fell soon after but crawled on, not showing a hint of pain or humiliation. Cripple or not, the man was truly remarkable. When he departed, Skuld pretended to watch him leave like a lovesick girl.

Flocking people at her side wasn't so hard. She complimented the merchants at the stand and bought gifts for people. Smiling at children and helping older people carry things was another approach she used. Within a week, she was loved by the people. Her room was always full of young girls that complimented her and played dress-up with her.

They plaided flowers in their hair and gossiped of the boys they liked. Whenever they asked her of Ivar, she pretended to tear up or just gave them minimal information. How good of a lover he is, how he may seem evil or rude but is very affectionate when alone with her. Some things were true; others were complete lies. After all, she couldn't say that he choked her in bed and she liked it.

They walked through the town, hands full of expensive fabrics to have dresses made from. Giggling with every step, Skuld looked back at the girls behind her and smiled. "Imagine all the fabrics and gold from the new land Bjorn wants to explore. All those pretty things and alcohol they might bring back."

"And all the pretty male thralls!" They laughed out in glee. Skuld looked back in front of her so she won't trip but was met with a shieldmaiden with a strange shield.

"Come with me." The tall brunette ordered, glaring at her with a harsh tone.

"And why would I do that? I don't even know you. Who asks for me?"

"The Queen does."

Skuld looked at the shield and shook her head. "That is not the seal of Ragnar Lothbrok."

"It's Lagertha's!" One of the girls that followed her called out in realization. Before Skuld could process the information, the shieldmaiden snatched her by the arm and dragged her away.

As Skuld was thrown over the woman's shoulder and carried off, she could see people fighting. Lagertha infiltrated the city to take over as Queen. Maybe Gunne was right, and she really needed the dagger after all.

So she pulled in out from her cleavage and slit the shieldmaiden's throat. The dead woman fell to the ground, and Skuld climbed off her to run to safety. Someone grabbed her from behind and tried to wrench the weapon from her hands.

The girl slammed her head against the attacker's face a few times till the grip loosened. She slipped free and stabbed the warrior in the chest. With a grunt, she pulled the dagger out. Someone hit her over the head with a shield, and she hit the floor, groaning. It wasn't enough to knock her out, but enough to make her stop fighting.

They dragged her to an empty house and threw her in like a dirty rag. "Stay here and wait!" Skuld sprung from the ground and glared at them, seething. She ran for the door but was pushed back easily.

"You will pay in blood for this! You and your stupid Queen!" They slammed the door in her face and left her in the darkness.

Skuld marched up and down the hut, cursing under her breath. "They left me here, and now look what happened. I will gouge out her eyes and make her stupid lover watch."

She repeated the last sentence, like a mantra and prayed to the gods for guidance and strength. Walking holes into the floor proved futile, so she sat down with her back against the wall and glaring at the door. "They will probably try to punish me for killing those shieldmaidens. Let them try."

The hut was small, one-room max with no furniture or window, obviously meant as a prison cell. She could feel hay under her ass and the cold bite of winter on her cheeks. Her eyes never left the door, the deafening silence around her suffocating. Twisting the ring on her finger, Skuld stared the door down with determination.

"All this time buttering up Aslaug and Ivar, and in the end, it was Ragnar Lothbrok's ex-wife that got to me. Hjordis would laugh at my foolishness." She chuckled and leaned her head against the cold hardwood. Closing her eyes, she took deep breaths to calm her anger. Lashing out now would do Skuld no good; she needs to save her energy so she can fight back when they open that door.

Her eyes snap open, and she smirks in glee. Pulling herself up on all four and search the ground for something. "Weapooon, where are youu?" Other than a pair of chains in the opposite corner, Skuld found nothing. Even those were useless; strangling someone with them would require her, pulling them closer to the bolts. Too much work and doing that would mean a struggle.

The blonde sighed and leaned her head back against the wall. She let her head fall into her hands and tapped her foot against the floor. The flow of time was hard to keep up with in here. She could be in here for an hour or maybe only half. There was no way to tell. So she tried counting instead.

"One, two, three, four, five..."

Drawing was fun when she was small and the coal from England new, when all she could do was doodle runes and flowers, now when she was thirteen, it wasn't so exciting. But the boys were training in the yard, and she didn't want to be a shieldmaiden.

She liked herself more like this; in her family, everyone was a fighter covered in dirt with bad manners. Despite being an Earl, even her mother didn't spend time on her looks until it was really necessary. So Skuld did her best to look as good as possible.

Mother had no problem buying her anything she wanted, what she wanted that she got. A smile here, a whine there, hug, fake tears, and she had the prettiest dresses within a week. Egil always complained that she was a spoiled little brat, but Skuld was more of a princess. Earl's daughter or not, she was made for royalty and ruling.

All the women told her that she was beautiful and graceful. She deserved to be pampered and complimented. Who else out there was as perfect as her? Beauty was her dagger to wield, less messy than the real thing. A courteous smile and sweet words, and everyone ate out of her hand.

The other girls in Yugar flocked around her like meek little sheep, trying to gain her attention and friendship. You say they look pretty or that you like them, and like naive children, they believe every word. Mother always said it was dangerous to live in a perfect world; it was a nasty place filled with greedy and stupid people. It's your decision on which side you want to be on.

Her brothers were the stupid ones, running after girls, fighting, burping, and farting to make themselves laugh. Their mother, on the other hand, was smart, which meant she was greedy. After all, she was an Earl and ruled the people easily. Skuld was greedy, too; she wanted to hold power as well. So ambition would be her other dagger, this one sharper and more fatal.

"Skuld! Come watch Egil make a fool of himself!" With glee, the girl shot from her spot on her mother's throne and run outside to watch Egil fail at flirting.

"Five hundred and thirty-eighth, five hundred and thirty-nine..."

She sighed and banged her head against the wall once. Daggers... That's what she needed, real daggers to carve out the shieldmaiden's hearts. Beauty and ambition would do her naught now. What would she do? Try to seduce the forty-year-old mother or her loyal lover? Maybe some of her shieldmaidens. Undressing always made people speechless, mostly because they didn't expect it. But women still fared better. It was the man that lost all common sense when their cocks got hard.

Women just crossed their legs, scowled, and talked. That's when sweet-talking came in handy, and by morning they were laying naked beside her. But that wouldn't work on the usurpers. Real weapons would serve better.

Again she hit her head against the wall and watched the ceiling. If there was some light in here, she could at least watch the shadows there. But the room was one huge shadow on itself. All she could see was darkness and her own bright dress and hair.

Her hand throbbed as she picked at the fresh scabs of her bloody knuckles. Skuld had hit the door in her rage as if she could beat it down. It didn't work; all it did was make her angrier and tired. Oh, so tired. She could sleep and hope to wake up in her own bed at home, instead of a small dark cell. The more time passed, the smaller the room seemed to her. With one last bang against the wall, she slumped down to sleep, bored of the world around her.

In her dreams, she was back at home, five or four, sitting in her father's lap as he sat on his high seat, ordering people around. Mother always said he was soft, which made him stupid and unjust. He got swayed easily, but on the battlefield, he was invincible. Well, he used to be. Until he got beheaded in Frankia,  he got no burial, the boat they burned was empty, maybe he was in Valhalla, perhaps not.

She could care less, barely remembering his face or voice. Sometimes, in her dreams or memories, Skuld sad his fair hair and a small beard. Othertimes he had no face, just a blank head. She never looked above his neck. Why should she? The sigh of the kneeling people in front of him was prettier. She imagined herself in his place, what she would have done. But never came up with an answer. What was the point anyway?

The dead were dead, and she was alive for now. The past was an anchor tying you to the realm of reality so that you wouldn't get lost in the clouds. But right now, she wanted to fly the highest she had ever been. Far away from all this bullshit. The furthest distance away from this hut that probably had spiders and rats hidden inside. Away from the shrinking walls and haunting darkness. She was Skuld Ylvasdottir. The only daughter of Ylva the Brave, Earl of Yugar, the Lioness.

Skuld was a lion as well, a cub, but a lion nonetheless. She wouldn't beg them to let her out. Instead, she would scream her throat hoarse and spit blood on them if needed. Lions aren't afraid of anything, not the dark or death itself. "When I get out, they will no longer call me a naive child or lion cub. I am a woman, vengeful, and ambitious.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Okay.

No one cares about my two cents but I feel like saying a thing.

Do I think this is absolutely the end of the Western toku fandom? No, honestly. If the Mouse can’t stop leaking and piracy, Toei can’t stop all of it. It will definitely start having to come from small circles/shady places, but they are not gonna be able to stop all of it. I think it might slow stuff down make it harder to access, but if people stick w/ it, it won’t disappear (also subs will get worse bar certain services).

Tbh, I’m not entirely convinced there’s a genuine threat either, at most might be a scare tactic, however I strongly support the fansubbing groups’ decisions to not risk it. In cases like this it is way better to be safe than sorry. While it’s disappointing to lose access, it’s in no way worth them risking getting sued or anything like that, esp since they’ve done it on their own time for free for so long.

But I do also have to admit that I think there’s a portion of the Western fandom (esp the American one, I think, as an American, but I could be wrong) that brought this on themselves/the rest of us. It’s not so much an issue in smaller circles, where I try to stay, but I’ve felt for a long time that the ‘mainstream’ ‘general’ toku fandom in the West is… Very, for lack of a better word, toxic. There’s a certain sense of entitlement and arrogance? So many people who seem to totally lose the fact that we are not the target audience. That’s not to say one can’t criticise (I’ll be the first to say that I have things I disagree w/ in shows), but I’ve in many places seen people say things that utterly baffle me, and esp in the Western fandom there’s this attitude that some toku, KR in particular ‘isn’t actually for kids anymore, more adults watch it.’ I see people making wildly inappropriate comments about actors (whoever started that rumour about poor Noa, the challenge to fight you still stands). Stuff like that. The sort of elitist attitude I felt from the whole Amazonz thing.

But the fact is, it is a kids’ show, and we, Westerners, are not the target demographic. Sure, we do represent a portion of sales, but we’re not where bank is. Toei doesn’t care if you won’t buy a Sentai toy bc the girl isn’t yellow, or whether you hate all the characters. We’re not the target viewers. For all I whine up the wazoo and joke about fighting Takahashi, I have no illusions that he cares what I think or that I have any power/can do anything about what was done. I can critique and say I disagree, but ultimately Toei doesn’t care what I think (although I’ve given them some solid cash bc of Horobi and Fuwa… ;^^). I think there’s some large misconception that the Western fandom is more important than it actually is. I’m not saying we’re not part of the equation and we don’t give them money and it wouldn’t behoove sales for us to have access to the shows, but that I don’t think we’re such a substantial cut that ‘losing’ us or having Western consumption slow down will be a large blow to them—at the very least, from their perspective, we wouldn’t be.

Also… There’s this attitude of invincibility? Japan’s not some distant, exotic, magical land of mystery. Toei has a public social media presence. There’s absolutely multiple people at the company who speak and read English, at least, fluently, probably even other languages. You put stuff in places where they will see it, they will see it. I may not be a huge fan of Shirakura’s producing style and I don’t know what he’s like as a person, but I do have to say I respect the grace w/ which he handled getting (twice?) confronted by piracy/leaks by simply saying ‘you/we’re not supposed to know about that.’ And I know those aren’t the only instances (I remember when Nachi was announced as part of the cast, someone was asking him about Thouser, who we were, to quote Shirakura P. ‘not supposed to know about’ at the time).

Basically… It’s the same thing as people harassing fansubbers for not being ‘fast enough’—we were never entitled to these shows, esp not for free. Yes, us getting to see them did provide Toei w/ revenue, but we are not the target audience, this was never an official release of the show or anything else. It was something that some people who were interested in the shows/genre did out of the kindness of their hearts to share it w/ us on the down low. We were not owed anything, we do not deserve any super special treatment. We invested our time, by our choice. It’s sad to see the access go, but again, we were never entitled to it, it was just something people did to share something they cared about, and their well being is more important than getting the shows free.

Of course, I do understand being upset. I’m very disappointed. Maybe support movements to get the shows legally easily accessible in the West? I heard stuff about there being people advocating for that. Alternatively, and not like anyone who would do this is following me or near my blog, maybe don’t brazenly show leaks and mention benevolent piracy to people in the company? For one thing, you’re putting the leak and/or fansubbers in the crosshairs when they’re just trying to do something nice, and you’re being tactless and rude in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if Toei was on the side of turning a blind eye towards the sharing bc of the sales, until it started getting shoved in their faces. What started as a fun, well meaning way of giving access to something enjoyable that other people might not be able to get to was twisted into some sort of… Weird, entitled, toxic, arrogant, demanding mess by people who… I dunno. Forgot the circumstances? Were so full of themselves they didn’t care? Didn’t understand the situation?

Either way… Congrats, guys, you ruined it for everyone. Thanks.

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Unexpected, To Say The Least (ObeyMe Fic)

Okaaayyyy so... this turned out differently than I wanted it to, but these types of things happen when you leave a wip in your drafts for months (╬▔皿▔)╯ but it’s still good. This is a part 1, so stay tuned.... depending on how long it takes me haha.. ha. 

~~~~~~

Scribbling in a notebook, a red night light from the window right next her defining the flyaway strands of hair on the top of her head, Aviyah was blissfully unaware of the stares from her classmates. Resting her chin on her closed fist, one leg crossed over the other, black boots bobbing up and down to the tune she had stuck in her head. She was so calm, so much calmer than she had been in weeks.

Aviyah, a human in a world of demons and angels, had arrived in Devildom two months ago. At first, she was unnerved by the close attention she gained from all the demons, angels and the other human she met. Lord Diavolo, who had also taken a liking to her, ensured that it was just because she was a different species to them. She was weak, a helpless being compared to the Avatars of sin she was living with and angels of heaven she had some classes with. Demons fed off souls, and it was an angel’s job to protect those bright balls of light in each human, so it was only right that they kept a close eye on her. Especially when the future king himself had ordered the seven strongest brothers in all of Devildom to keep her safe for the duration of the exchange programme.

But it wasn’t that. Aviyah was sure of it. She had gained unworldly attention for her entire life. Boys seemed to bow at her feet, begging her to let them serve her each and every whim. Girls clung to her, wanting to be friends with such a kind-hearted, beautiful, smart person- and also wanting to meet her every demand. Aviyah, having been raised by good-willed parents, didn’t take advantage of this strange power she seemed to hold over everyone she met, although she did accept the odd gift from colleagues and classmates on that one special day a year, mainly because she didn’t want to be rude. She hardly asked for anything in public because it would cause quite a stir, everyone in the room darting around to take care of the task she had so graciously offered them. All she wanted was an item from the top shelf, but now she had twenty boxes of cereal that she really didn’t need. 

She expected, being in a world of magic, spells, and potions that could kill or force someone to love you, that she would be safe from all the unneeded, and frankly unwanted, attention. Yet, lo and behold, the first day she arrived here, in a much colder climate than she was used to, both the Avatar of Greed and the Avatar of Envy threw their coats at her, only for her to get consumed by the jacket of the largest man she had ever seen, the Avatar of Gluttony. And she hadn’t even made a pact with them yet!

“I’m telling you, there’s something up with her.” A muttering came from the other side of the otherwise bustling classroom. It was just before their lesson would start, everyone was getting themselves ready to learn about different species of man, except for one group of, shockingly, demons and angels.

“Mammon, won’t you admit your true feelings?” The dark-toned angel smiled softly at the second-born brother. Truly, he felt an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of his stomach too, something he couldn’t even begin to describe, but would never admit it himself. He was sure it was something sinful, something against his very being, and would only confess when the time came. 

“What feelings! I-I ain’t got no feelings.” A horrendously red blush appeared immediately on Mammon’s entire face, noticed by all those involved in this small huddle over a desk.

“You don’t even deserve her. You already get to spend so much time with her! It’s so unfair!” The purple-haired otaku tried to bite his lip, he really did, but the jealousy for his brother grew too high, bubbling over into the trait he most represented. Envy.

“That was only because Lucifer made me! I didn’t even wanna babysit that human!” Mammon barked back, not meaning the words but needing a distracted from the embarrassment he could still feel colouring his cheeks. The two butted heads often, but this time it was literal, immediately starting to throw punches to defend the one they held so dear. Several people tried to get between them, the male human even getting his own strike to the jaw, and all hell brought loose in- well- hell.

“Guys! Stop!” A higher-toned, feminine cry, although thick with command and low with anger, echoed over the room, every single one of the occupants freezing in an instance, even those that weren’t involved in this little scuffle- or under the young girl’s pact.

Crouching beside her male counterpart, who had been thrown to the ground by the force of being hit, was Aviyah, the one they had been fighting over. With one hand on Solomon’s back and the other holding his hand to keep him upright, she glared at the two that had been previously brawling in what was meant to be a safe place. 

Aviyah rarely used her unknown power to command people. Or was it the pact? She couldn’t tell any more, but at least it worked. 

“Are you alright, Solomon?” Disappointment turning to anxiousness etched in her expression, Aviyah let go of the sorcerer’s hand and back- once she could tell he could hold himself up-, only to move her’s close to his face, cocking her head to get a better look at the cut bleeding through his white-haired fringe. Being in such close proximity to the woman, and earning so much of her undivided attention, brought many hateful gazes to the man, but he didn’t care. He was thriving off it, in fact. 

“What? Are you worried about me?” No better was the time to tease her, to see that eye roll she did so well and hear that exasperated sigh as she dropped her hands, all previous nurturing gone from her posture as she stood up. 

“You just got punched in the face by a demon and still have the wherewithal to joke?” She muttered, wondering to herself if he was the one with supernatural abilities. Well, he did, he could use magic, but she wondered if he had his own special ability since birth. Could that have been the reason they were the two, out of the entire human race, to be chosen for this life-altering program?

Once she got to her feet, she turned to see Mammon and Leviathan, both with their heads lowered in shame. They had angered their... Goddess? Master? Friend? They didn’t know what to call her, having been the first two to make pacts with her, but there was this force, this unspoken voice that drew them to her and made them bow at her feet. Or want to, anyway.

Before Aviyah could even start to berate them for losing control like that, they had even transformed into the demon-forms, a stern voice cut through the entire scene. Students pinned themselves to the wall, trying to get as far from the fighting as possible, so they seemed to surround them like hawks, eagerly watching, waiting for the two to be punished by such a soft-spoken, angelic figure. 

Now in the doorway, however, was a man. With black hair as dark as the most inner depths of Devildom, red eyes as angry as the fire that sprouted from them, and an expression that has killed in the past, the man glared at the two, not even wanting to look in the direction of the girl in case she too saw his wrath.

“You two. With me. Now.” The words were curt and entirely ineloquent, nothing like that eldest would usually speak, showing how deeply enraged he was. The two quickly scurried after him, for once keeping their mouths shut.

~~~~~~

Biting her lip, Aviyah couldn’t take her eyes off that door, now empty after Lucifer had guided his younger brothers away. 

“It was me, wasn’t it?” She spoke loud enough for the people closest to her to hear, but a whisper full of regret did not go unnoticed. 

“What do you mean, Avi?” Simeon stepped up to try and ease the look of worry that they all saw on her face, but she stepped away, afraid for anyone to even touch her. What if he, Simeon, the nicest, most modest person she had ever met, went into a jealous rage too?

“They were fighting over me, weren’t they?”  Aviyah’s voice cracked as she clutched her fists at her sides, avoiding looking at anyone directly, scared it’ll put them under the curse she seemed to have. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to pull families apart. She just wanted to have no one know who she was. 

“Avi,” Simeon uttered again, but it was too late. Aviyah had already made up her mind, collecting all her resolve in one solid sniff and running out of the room, hoping she could catch the brothers before something too bad happened. 

~~~~~~

“What do you think you’re doing, having a fight like that in the middle of class? Do you think it will make you seem strong? Seem manly? Because it won’t! It only makes you seem needy.” Lucifer’s booming voice shook the paintings on the walls, giving Aviyah some clue as to where he had taken the two. She followed the shouts of pain and anger, running as more and more tears grew in her eyes. She didn’t want to do what she was about to do, but she needed to. She didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. To get jealous. Not when it was all the people she actually cared about.

Finally, in an empty classroom where the shouts seemed the loudest, Aviyah found the door still open ajar, standing just out of sight so she could listen in, waiting for the right moment before anything too serious happened. If that hadn’t happened already, that is. 

“You made a fool out of me! The student council! Not only that, but you made Aviyah look so defeated! I won’t let you argue like this anymore!” Lucifer raged on with a temper that rivalled Satan’s. “I may just have to claim her myself.” 

The comment, although almost a whisper, shot everyone in hearing distance into full-blown madness, both Levi and Mammon charging at him, demanding how he thought he had the right to even suggest the idea. Before they could make contact with each other, Aviyah cried out, desperately begging them to just wait.

All attention on her now, as usual, the men’s eyes went wide. She was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks at the sight of the brothers, who were always so comfortable with each other, usually so familiar, fighting like this? Over her? It broke her like it broke their relationship. 

“I can’t do this anymore. I want to go home! I’m not happy and I never was! Please! Let me go home!” She lied, straight through her teeth. She had never been happier than living here, in Devildom, with all their brothers. She enjoyed her time listening to them bicker playfully, not like they were now. She enjoyed watching Levi play his games. She enjoyed eating with Beelzebub. She enjoyed reading books with Satan. Being dressed up by Asmo. Listening to Mammon’s wild get-rich-quick-schemes. Napping with Belphie. Even with Simeon and Solomon, who she didn’t get to see as often as the others. Luke was fun to cook with- even though he seemed a little apprehensive of her. She enjoyed all her time here but right now, in times like these, when it felt like everything was her fault.

“Avi, what’re you saying?” Mammon’s voice broke, between all the yelling and the way his heart broke at her tone and words, and his brows knitted together tightly. Levi froze up, not knowing what to say in response to her sudden outcry, and Lucifer felt like he could steal her away right here and now. Never before had he felt so out of control.

“I’m sorry, It’s all my fault. I need to leave, go home. I need to get out of your lives because- because I’ll ruin them.” She hiccupped, choking on the tears that clogged her throat, and she tried to hide how sad she was by holding her face in her hands. Her knees shook, her body- just as frail as they had always suspected. It took so much energy for her to say these words and not completely breakdown.

“N-No, it’s not your fault. W-We shouldn’t have be-been fighting.” Levi made a move to step closer, to wrap his arm around her, to help her feel better, but both Mammon and Lucifer shot him a glare so deadly it made the room cold. 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” Aviyah continued to stutter through her words, her tears interrupting her usually melodic, smooth voice, as she felt the indignation in their eyes. 

“This always happens. It was a mistake to choose me. I... I’m going to go to Diavolo now and tell him this was wrong.” She tried to steel herself, to seem strong enough to walk through these halls alone and leave Devildom for good, but it was no use. They could all see how distraught she was.

“Always happens?” Lucifer muttered, confusion written all over his features. 

“There’s something inside me, there always has been. It makes people so hateful for one another and I can’t do that to you all. You’re a family, I won’t tear it apart. I-I need to...” Aviyah led off, not knowing what else to say. Memories of her past, all the friendships she had unknowingly, unwittingly, torn apart because of what? Because she was desirable? Because she was pretty and smart and kind? No amount of adoration was worth this. None of it.

The room was silent, deathly so, no one knew what to say. Have Levi and Mammon just ruined their chances to know such a wonderful person? And not just a person, but a human. Someone they were never meant to befriend. Someone that should fear them and hate them for who they were, for what they represented. But no, she showed them care and love and compassion, what they believed only a human could give. 

So, with no one left to tell her no, to not go and stay with them because they needed her so badly it hurt, she started to turn back to the door.

“Wait, Aviyah. Just... Just wait.” Shockingly at a lost for words, Lucifer turned to his desk, where his D.D.D laid, and picked it up. Aviyah started to refuse him, to say this was the right thing to do, this was the only way they could live calm, happy lives, but he continued to use the communication device, calling together a meeting that would change everything.

~~~~~~

“Tell them what you told me,” Lucifer instructed in Lord Diavolo’s conference room, having called a meeting of the student council together. Everyone looked at him with suspicious gazes, having no real information on why they were here, Levi and Mammon stressing out like they were about to take the most important, most difficult tests in their lives.

“Lucifer, this isn’t going to cha-.”

“Just say it.” The words were demanding, but the tone was soft, very shocking for Lucifer- until it was for Aviyah. He always seemed to have a soft spot for her. Like Mammon. Although for different reasons. 

Aviyah lowered her head, eyes still damp from her earlier confession, thinking about what she was about to say. After a brief but deep sigh, she lifted her gaze again, but only as far as the edge of the table she sat at.

“Since before I can remember, everyone I’ve met has... wanted me.” She bit her lip, not knowing how else to say it. It always felt like someone was trying to win her over, to win her as a price to show everyone else that they were the one she chose.

“No matter who it is, they say they love me or they’d do anything for me. And no matter how much I tell them to stop, they just get more outrageous. They give me elaborate gifts or take me places I wouldn’t normally go. They shower me in a love that I never asked for until they can’t anymore.” Aviyah’s voice cracked again, tears rolling down her cheeks again as she remembered the people that bankrupted themselves to win her over and the others that have lost their health, their friends, the ones who loved them, all to impress her in one way or another. 

“No matter how many times I say I don’t need it, they’ll keep doing it. It’s not until I say I don’t want them or the things they give me that they stop. I thought it’d be different when I came here, but when you guys started fighting...” Aviyah finally worked up the courage to look up, gesturing in the direction of Levi and Mammon, who blushed when she made eye contact with the both of them. 

“This is why we’re here? Because those two were acting childishly again?” Satan sighed to himself, upset that his reading time had been cut short. He wouldn’t even address the panicked feeling that arose in him when he heard the solemness of Aviyah’s tone.

“You’re almost as seductive as me, Avi! Aren’t you lucky to have so much in common with me? Someday you too might be able to bring down a country with your looks.” Asmo leaned into her, ignoring how saddened she seemed by the statment. The next move she made shocked everyone.

“I don’t want to do that! I want it to stop! I hate it and I hate myself for it!” She yelled after pushing Asmodeus so strongly off her he fell right out of his seat. Every time she brushed him off she had never actually been physical. Who was she, a human, to push off a demon? Better yet, how did she have the strength?

“Hey, did you see that?” A whispering demon mentioned to his brother, noticing the flicker of light that sparked in her eyes in her yelling. Even though her words broke their hearts, it was hard not to bring it up.

The outcry caused the prince, stern-faced compared to his usual jovial smirk, to peer at her closer. “I see. Lucifer, do you think she’s..?”

“Yes, I do. It would explain everyone’s... erratic behaviours around her.” Lucifer, not wanting the entire picture drawn out for her and his brothers, interrupted the prince. The information would be hard to hear, for Aviyah most of all, and an off-handed comment was not how he wanted to break the news to her.

“But where are her features? She’s an open-book, we would have seen something by now.” Satan, catching on, eyed her as suspiciously as he had Lucifer in the past, watching the tears roll down her cheeks as she tries to calm herself down. She never yelled like that and felt awful for what she did, but was too scared to even speak to anyone else, let alone touch or apologise to Asmo for her supposed violence. 

“Would someone tell us what’s going on? I-I mean, Levi might be confused, is all.” Not wanting to seem idiotic for asking, Mammon jumped up before shying away again, not being able to cope with the girl’s silent crying.

“Avi, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.” Asmo, along with Beel, tried to be some sort of caring figure in the room of inquisitive stares. 

When Beel tried to put a hand on her shoulder, she jumped away. “P-Please! Do-Don’t. I... I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“It’s possible she hasn’t been... awoken yet.” Diavolo couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea. It would be just like the innocent human, if that’s what she truly was, to not have the necessary experiences she needed in life to prove their theory correct. Lucifer couldn’t help but blush.

“Awoken?” Aviyah’s voice, now somewhat tamed but hoarse from her crying, looked up at the prince. Had he an idea? Could he cure her? Could he take away this curse, gift, whatever it was? Could he end all this?

“Well, depending on your immediate ancestry, it’s possible your power needs to be... unlocked, in a way. It’s clear you’re no mere human. You even seduced dear Barbatos, and he never even blushes at my comments.” Diavolo laughed again, gesturing with his gaze to the corner of the room where his butler was clearly fitting the urge to comfort the girl. She quickly looked right back at the prince the moment she noticed this. 

“If I’m not human, then what am I?” 

“Well, my best guess would be a succubus, but seeing as you have more human features, you could be a cambion, a hybrid. We’d have to ask your mother.” Diavolo, as usual, was much too nonchalant with the subject of Aviyah’s supposed species, a topic that would and will change her life forever.

Silence filled the air for one.

Two.

Three.

“WHAT?” Four. They made it to four seconds of silence before Mammon stood up again, shrieking, along with the female in question. Succubi and the topic of hybrids had yet to be discussed in her classes, ironically that was today’s class, but she had a clue what they were from just hearsay.

“You think I’m a demon? But I grew up in the human world! I have human par- well the people that raised me were human... But I never felt the urge to have anything in excess or trick anyone into stealing their money- sorry Mammon- but how could I be a demon?” The tears were gone, replaced with a look of pure confusion that turned to utter disbelief with a hint of ‘what if’. What if he was right?

“The people that raised you? Don’t tell me you were...”

“Adopted. I have two dads who found me on their doorstep. I have no clue who my biological parents are.” The uneasy feeling that meant Diavolo could be right started to rise as Aviyah admitted a part of her past she had never told anyone. It seemed like everything was out in the air now.

“Perfect.”

“This is a problem. Succubi and Incubi have a duty to bring all demons back to Devildom in case they go rogue in the human world. This parent of yours will have some answering to do.” Lucifer, recovered from his bashfulness in an effort to act like the vice-president he was, got furious about someone disrespecting the laws Diavolo had put in place to protect the humans he seemed to so dearly care for. “Dumping you on some couples doorstep will require some serious consequences.”

The whole room shuddered at the idea of what punishments Lucifer was thinking up at this moment, but luckily someone thought to turn the conversation away from that.

“You say she needs to be awoken? I know one way of doing that, but I don’t know… prepared for that she will be.” Satan smirked a side-eyed look Aviyah’s way as she tried to process all this information. She was a demon, or half of one anyway. To think, all those crazy white mom’s at her elementary school were right. 

“I’d be more than happy to volunteer in any way I can.” Asmo started to cosy up to Aviyah once again, making it very clear what the one way of awakening a demon seemed to be.

“No! No, that’s fine, Asmo! B-Besides, I’m not a virgin, so we’ll have to find some other way to awaken this power if you think that’s what I have.” Beetred and edging off her chair to make some distance between the flirt and herself, she almost didn’t hear the snickering from some of the other demons in the room. 

“Oh, deary me.” Asmo tittered to himself, Satan covering his mouth to try and suppress the chuckle that threatened to leave his lips. He didn’t want to make the girl more embarrassed. Mammon joined in, although much louder, just to not feel left out, and Levi blushed furiously, but he knew exactly what everyone else seemed so excited about. As usual, Beel was too distracted by the food laid out by Barbatos to care what was going on now that Aviyah was no longer crying. 

“Aviyah, I’m afraid to say it’s not the act of sex that awakens a demon… It’s the, uh.” Lucifer tried to inform her, he really did, but the stutter that threatened his usually composed manner halted him from doing so. 

“You didn’t cum, did you, Avi?” Diavolo’s brows frowned sincerely, but the wavering of his lips told her he too was trying not to laugh. Aviyah’s cheeks blossomed darker, the embarrassment from her first time flashing through her mind once again and her face screwed up in embarrassment. For her, this situation couldn’t possibly get any worse. 

“Your Highness, if you wouldn’t tease her so much, there is another way to awaken her demon form.” Barbatos, unexpectedly, intervened, shocking everyone in the room but Aviyah. He had always had a sweet spot for the huma- well, hybrid. 

“Yes, yes, Barbatos, you are right. My most sincere apologies, Avi. Lucifer, we’ll come to the House of Lamentation tonight. Prepare the Grimoire.” And with that, Diavolo stood to leave.

“And why not now? Wouldn’t it be best to do this sooner than later so she can learn to control it better?” Satan scowled, earning his own from Lucifer for being so upfront. The prince only chuckled.

“I need to do some… investigating first. You, Satan, of all people, should know what is needed for the ritual.” Satan’s brows frowned suspiciously at the prince as he made his final departure. 

“What does he mean, Satan?” Aviyah leaned into the demon’s side in order to get a clear answer for the first time today and Satan’s gaze finally left the door. 

“He needs your progenitor. He’s going to find your mother or father.”

[catgirlxox]

Ben Is Too Good For His Own Good

Aka a "cinnamon roll", if you will. Yes, I'm writing an essay on this. 

So it's nothing new that Ben has this "second chances" philosophy, but that is indicative of the possibility that he would let himself be in damaging relationships in hopes that the other person would change or improve. 

There have been various instances of Ben kind of just brushing off being treated poorly. I wouldn't say that this makes him a push over or anything like that, but I never see any of these things being pointed out. They're just kind of laughed off.

Just the other day, in fact, I had someone privately DM me saying that they don't believe Ben ever had any trauma or side effects from his lifestyle, even questioning “what nightmares” I was even referring to. 

On top of that, it's a very common thing in this fandom to state things like "the girls deserved better than Ben." I'll always be of the opinion that Ben is the one that deserved better, and I have plenty (logical) reasons why, but that’s besides the point. 

Even though Ben is so forgiving and cooperative, giving everyone a second chance to change, it just doesn't sit right with me that we should just be okay with some of the horrible things that are being justified here. That doesn't mean you should hate these characters. I mean, Ben clearly doesn't. But it honestly says more about him than any of them. 

It says a lot to me when I see Ben seeing the best in someone, even when they've done horrible things in the past or are in the midst of doing something bad to him. 

One example, which I keep bringing up on this blog, is the episode "Vilgax Must Croak." Besides everything else that Vilgax had done to him in the past, in addition to throughout the episode up until this point, Ben was still shown believing that Vilgax could have tried to save him by jumping in front of Ben to shield him from a (seemingly extremely destructive) blast from Attea. 

Things like this also explain why I don’t support shipping Ben with Attea, but that’s besides the point too...

Of course, even if he did save Ben by doing this, Vilgax was only manipulating the situation to make it look like he was trying to save Ben when he was really taking the chance to break himself free of the handcuffs. 

But, even so, this seems to mean that Ben believes that Vilgax does have it in him to do something good. Ben was admittedly shocked by what had happened at first, but by the next scene where he turns back to human, he's got his guard down enough for Vilgax to take advantage of the situation again and shoot him in the back. Because, please realize, if Vilgax didn’t “save” him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot him in the back. 

But anyway, in conclusion, as the title states, he's too good for his own good. 

The next unfair circumstance which displays the same thing happens in the episode "No Honor Among Bros." I am aware that the following is uncharacteristic of Rook and had only happened because Rook was under the influence of a substance, so I want to acknowledge that, but I am mostly focusing on Ben's actions here.

Ben and Rook eventually are set up against each other in the tournament, and, besides the fact that Ben already doesn't want to fight anyone needlessly, as shown by his previous match against Malice where he was BEAT UP FOR THREE HOURS...

...he clearly holds back while fighting Rook in this match, too. 

The one time he actually hits Rook with a decent shot, which knocks Rook out temporarily, not only does he immediately go check on him to make sure he's not badly hurt, but also turns back to human, leaving him somewhat more vulnerable then he would be as Upchuck. 

This seems to mean that he trusted Rook wouldn't take that chance to hit him right back. And unnecessarily hard too, at that. 

This knocks Ben down, making him lose the fight. The important thing to take away from this is that, regardless if he just chalked it up to Rook not being himself, he still didn't seem to hold it against him, besides just being slightly annoyed. 

So, basically, he got his ass beat multiple times only because he was holding back for the other person's sake. He's too good for his own good. 

Then there's also Kevin and Tetrax. Both are former "criminals", albeit for different reasons, and Ben still had it in him to befriend both of them. This is probably due to the fact that they've built trust over time, and fought evil together to protect others, including each other. 

I don't like to look past the fact that Kevin, while admittedly not entirely in control of his powers at the time, has tried to kill Ben on multiple occasions. But, like I said, Ben has grown to trust him and they have each other's back, so there’s no need to really expand on those two all that much. 

Then there's the sad story of Elena. 

You could argue that the reason it's difficult for me to look past Elena's “mistakes” is because she was given little to no chances to redeem herself. And perhaps there is some truth to that. 

However, there has been a scene which seems to be what is considered "redeeming" - when she attempts to sacrifice herself to save Ben. 

And while Ben himself seemed extremely moved by this at the time, clearly not holding any hard feelings towards what she had just done to him throughout "Revenge of the Swarm", I can't say that I feel the same. 

I can't say that I feel the same because Ben's life would not even be in danger at this point if she didn't attempt to suffocate him. Should I see her as a “hero” for saving Ben from herself? 

Especially when it’s evident that she had enough self control to attempt to commit suicide, but somehow not enough to not attempt to kill Ben again once she realized that her suicide attempt failed. 

Ben: “Elena! They’ve been controlling you! You’ve got to fight them!”

Elena: “They’re not controlling me, they are me! And I am them!”

Another thing about her predicament that I don't understand is whether or not her choices are voluntary. The other characters say outwardly that "the chips are controlling her", while she, in response, claims that they are not controlling her and instead, that they "are her." 

Elena: “They give me what I want! They fulfil my deepest desires! Even the ones I don’t know I have!”

She also claims that the chips want what she wants, and because they “are her” they give her the ability to get everything she might want. By that logic, she would want everything that had happened up until this point, which is crazy and inexcusable. 

If she is the chips, implying there is no other Elena inside that is the “true” Elena, and she genuinely wants to do things like stalk Ben and attempt to kill him, then I don’t see a way to excuse or justify that.  

But then, in the midst of choking Ben to death, Julie tells her that she couldn't seriously want Ben to die, which Elena responds to seemingly confused or unsure for the first time, and only states it must be what she wants, before claiming that she really did care about Ben. 

I’m sure Ben would agree that she could still be redeemed at this point. He would probably still agree she could be redeemed after all that I’m about to go over as well.

And, while this is evident since he did state the following, believing, once again, that there is still good in someone who had done horrible things:

Ben: “There was enough of my friend left to save my life.”

She still came back to make the situation worse instead of taking the chance to redeem herself. 

Unfortunately, unlike I suggested earlier, and instead of leaving it at that after surviving her suicide attempt and traumatizing everyone in the process, she returns in "The Perfect Girlfriend" impersonating Julie, being the cause of Gwen suffering a pretty significant injury, and, let’s not forget, attempting to kill Ben once again. 

It’s even worse that she chose to do so at such a vulnerable point in Ben and Julie’s relationship, considering that they had been arguing lately, even in the beginning of that very episode. I’ve actually had someone claim that this episode proves that Ben’s idea of the “perfect” girlfriend is someone who does everything he says and may as well have no individual personality. And, because someone I think is credible enough to speak on Ben’s behalf believes that to some extent, it just shows me that it’s possible many other people in this fandom might believe the same thing.

To me, it simply seemed as if he believed that his relationship with his girlfriend was finally improving, which is a good thing. It doesn’t seem all that unreasonable for him to not question why they were suddenly getting along much more than before. Why would anyone question their relationship with their significant other going well, especially after going through a rough patch? 

Regardless, after realizing the reason why this was the case, he must have also felt horrible about not noticing sooner, which sucks. He’d be seen as a jerk for questioning why his girlfriend was being so nice to him had he done so, but he’d be seen as a jerk for not noticing that it wasn’t really her all this time anyway.

I hate to keep flaming her, but Elena chose to put him in that position since the chips allow her to fulfil “all her deepest desires”, apparently. Because that's what you do to someone you "love." 

While Elena's story wasn't continued past Ultimate Alien, the Ben 10: Omniverse comic "Parallel Paradox" did attempt to tie up loose ends. 

Before I continue, I have to state that the comics are not technically "canon.” However they are official source material and therefore should be accurate to canon. So, for clarity, and for those who haven't read this comic, Elena here is basically presented as if she is voluntarily a criminal. She's apparently stealing tech for money, working for some other higher level bad guy, and clearly has a grudge against Ben after what had happened. 

I’ll provide the relevant pages below, but Elena states that Ben was “rude” to her the last time they saw each other...when, in the moment she is reffering to, she had impersonated her way into Ben’s living room and had the nerve to get into an argument with him when she was clearly in the wrong. 

But Ben himself wasn’t even being rude to her in that particular scene, either. He was trying to explain why what she was doing was wrong. He only resorted to using the Ultimatrix once Elena resorted to violence herself.

At the end of "Parallel Paradox", it's revealed that Ben feels like Elena hates him, despite all that she's done to him. Which is interesting, since it doesn't seem to me like he's done anything to her to give her a reason to hate him. Not even supposedly being “rude.” It seems like it should be the other way around, really. 

I know that I wouldn't hesitate considering filing a restraining order against someone who stalked me, attacked my friends, kidnapped my significant other, lied to me, and then attempted to kill me twice. 

But Ben? No, AFTER ALL THAT...he actually wants to help her and wishes she didn't hate him for no reason. 

Or maybe she doesn't have a grudge against him for what he did do, but rather what he didn't do, in her view. The irony is that Ben clearly would do anything he could to help her, she just isn't accepting that help. She just wants what she wants and will stop at nothing to get what she wants. 

She seems to constantly be putting the blame on everyone but herself. And the first step to changing for the better starts with changing oneself by changing old habits and actively working to do better. It's even more sad that she doesn't seem to realize just how much faith Ben does have in her, despite the horrific stuff in Ultimate Alien. 

If she really loved him, she shouldn't let him down. But at this point, I don't know if that's the case anymore. 

Anyway, at the end of the day, what astounds me the most is that Ben isn't mad at her. I mean, he should at least have serious trust issues by now! It really puts things into perspective and explains why there even is an alternate future where a pairing like Benkai can happen. 

If someone like Kevin, who hated Ben as a kid and actively tried to kill him, can become his best friend, and if someone like Elena can also get away with causing so much unnecessary harm to Ben without so much as a displeased glance, why wouldn't he give a girl who just likes to bully and pick on him another chance? 

I still don't believe he deserves that, but I fear that is it is extremely likely, even if it comes from a good place.

And because he gives everyone 764845786448578 chances. 

[moody-bloosh]

Honestly??? Super pissed at cheating Bruno!! He has the AUDACITY to run around with other ladies and then feel sad when you leave him???? Reality check hun???? You should write a third part where the reader's moved on and possibly in a relationship with someone else and it's Bruno's turn to feel depressed 😡😡

Anonymous said: I would LOVE a finish to the cheating Bruno fic! Does she leave forever and find happiness?does he kidnap her?so many questions😭 or is this one where we have to decide? Love your stories keep up the good work

Anonymous said: can i request a continuation of cheating bruno?? 💖💖💖💖 i’m IN LOVE WITH IT. the angst is gourmet tier. full of angst on his end where as reader is getting back on her feet and dating other people and living her life while he suffers and cannot help keeping tabs on her. in this instance he deserves the suffering imo. (maybe even use the post break up prompt of “we keep showing up in the same places because we always had the same interests”)

[ chapter navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 ]  

Oh, cheating!Bruno, what a wild ride you were to write. I was really so so touched by all the response this fic has gotten ;;;; Thank you, thank you for giving it lots of love!!!

(alsO, if you guys have any other characters you wanna see for this kind of au, please ask away! it’s terrible but i just love the angst of it *cough, cough* Cheating!Risotto soon)

there’s nothing I can do for you (Bruno Buccellati)

There’s too much on your plate right now, literally. Yet again, you’d made too much food. You were too accustomed to sharing a meal with someone, someone who could no longer stand by your side, no. Someone who had chosen to leave your side. God… Your lips quiver as the beginning of tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes.

Don’t cry. Don’t think about him.

No matter how tempting it is. He doesn’t… he doesn’t deserve any forgiveness.

But you do cry and you do think of him. You thought that putting your name down on those divorce papers would be the hardest part. But you found you were sorely mistaken. This crushing loneliness, this burning isolation, it was painful, so so painful. Your tears fall to the ground like blood dripping from an open wound. 

You cry yourself out for now.

So you can smile someday.

Your eyes are still tinted with the faintest of reds but you can’t delay it any longer. The food would get cold and that would be rude. You remember that you haven’t managed to properly introduce yourself to your neighbors. Which you supposed must be a blessing in disguise as you now had a way to dispose of the extra food. 

At least, at the very least, it wouldn’t go to waste.

So with that in mind, you stood in front of your neighbor’s door, a plate of food in your hands. You stood there for a few torturous seconds until your neighbor had opened the door.

There was a slightly surprised look on their face as they considered your presence standing in front of their doorstep.

“I’m sorry, I- I made too much,” you said. “And besides, I forgot to introduce myself, but I just moved in to the apartment beside you and I wanted to say hello…”

Your neighbor had considered you for a moment. Now at least, they had a face to match to the crying. The walls in your apartment complex were surprisingly thin, a fact that you were not aware of yet. They had an easy smile on their face as they gently took the plate of food in your hands.

“Thank you, but I think, food tastes better when you’re with someone. So let’s eat this together, alright?”

Ah, that kind smile, those gentle words. They were so, so familiar.

You couldn’t let yourself fall for that again. You… were so lonely. Maybe, maybe just a bit, just a little. It would be alright.

Right?

For a moment, you are filled with uncertainty. Such kindness was suspicious… such kindness was worrisome. But… you couldn’t let Bruno dominate your thoughts any longer. You couldn’t turn away kindness for fear of it hurting you the way he did. Bruno was Bruno. He did what he did and that was all in the past now. You couldn’t keep isolating yourself, you were different now. Reaching out to other people, making new bonds…

You were letting go of him.

So you have to let go of me too, Bruno.

Shamefully, keeping tabs on you, learning of your whereabouts, what you were doing now from second hand sources. Like a stubborn child chasing after fireflies, trying to keep them from escaping his grasp. So he too, could not bring himself to let go of you.

He doesn’t speak to his lovers anymore, when he’s with them, all he can think about is you. Your face, tearstained, refusing to look him in the eye. When he embraces them, he wonders if you’re embracing someone else too. When they call his name all he can hear is your voice, calling out for someone else, someone who was not him. The thoughts are unbearable, almost as much as the emptiness and the coldness of the home you once shared together.

When he lies in bed, alone. He wonders, had you felt like this too? No, he knows that you felt it. Perhaps, you’d felt even worse. How did you manage to endure for so long? How did you find it in yourself to look him in the eye and send him off with a kiss? How did you manage to stay despite it all?

Because you loved him desperately. So you stayed even when it hurt, so you stayed even when it felt like the height of idiocy, so you told him you loved him even when you knew it was futile, so you dealt with the heartache and the loneliness.

Because love makes fools of us all.

He shouldn’t have started anything with other people in the first place. He should have ended everything with his other lovers when you’d first confronted him. He should have taken that lifeline you tossed out to him over and over again. But he didn’t do any of that and so now here he was drowning under the waves of heartbreak. And you were no longer there to toss him lifelines. He was suffering now and it was all his fault

He took for granted the fact that you had loved him so much. Breaking your heart over and over again, your love for him was bound to dry up.

Today, he is desperate, even more so than usual.

The last photo he received of you, he had to make sure that it was taken recently. You actually looked… happier now. Happier than when you’d been together, happier than when he’d last seen you. Such a far cry from the tearful, broken person who’d begged him for a divorce the last time. No, you’d been happy together once.

How could you smile like that? The last time he’d seen you smile that brilliantly, the last time he’d seen you look that radiant, wasn’t it on your wedding day? No, there had to be times when you were happy with him. There had to be. And there were, you would tell him when you met at court, when you held him as he broke down in your arms and held you tightly as if that would keep you from leaving.

There really was a time, when you were happy together. Just that, given everything that had happened to the two of you now, it was easier to remember painful things. It was easier to remember cold sheets and tearful nights than it was to recall pleasant evenings, passionate evenings, and carefree, cheerful days.

His finger caresses the recent photograph of you. He imagines he is holding you again, he imagines that he hadn’t ruined everything yet. He imagines that he is the one standing beside you and holding your hand in the photo. He imagines that beautiful smile is directed at him.

You really were so exquisite, so lovely.

He realizes too late the consequences of his actions.

Some twisted part of him wants to delay the cracking and crumbling of your relationship, wants to keep you in the same place as him. But he understands now, he was the only one left. You had already moved on. You’d taken the first step when you’d left and decided you wanted nothing more to do with him.

And you were better off for it, he realizes.

He loves you. He loves you. 

He loves you so much it physically hurts. 

That was why…

The mail lands with a dull thump on your doorstep. At the very top were your divorce papers, finally signed and completed.

So I let go, let go, let go.

[disfordevineaux]

Chase x Julia (Chasulia) Headcanons

Part 1

Requested by @mimeless​ & @cyborglovesong​

Height difference. Enough said. 5′11 vs 5′2

Chase will do something, impulsive, against Julia’s wishes which will cause them both to get into trouble by Chief. Julia is already in lukewarm water with Chief (let's not even get into Chase’s stance with Chief, he’s basically just a tool to her at this point let’s be frank) and is devastated by this: ‘I’m not angry, just disappointed’ lecture they will both receive.

Following this will be the moment she does ‘snap’. It will be a cataclysmic event in which Chase is thrown down a flight of stairs breaking every bone in his body, metaphorically speaking of course. He will be put in his place and forced to stay there and reflect on his actions. The dynamic is forever changed, Julia has asserted her dominance as the bigger brain and it has terrified Chase.

Chase does take the time to officially apologise for his previous transgressions in a formal way. During the time before, he briefly touched on the notion of his wrongfulness towards her character but never completely said ‘I’m sorry’. He would sometimes trickle in a ‘well, you know I’m wrong so-’ or an ‘I guess you were correct all along-’ here and there. Her forgiveness (but insisting that she will not forget) soon weighs upon his good conscious and good-natured soul and devises up a script of repent he will definitely butcher upon presentation. Julia will be touched simply by the effort he put into trying to do the right thing and mend things as he bumbles it and makes sure he is aware of her appreciation and acceptance of his apology. On conditions.

Once Julia officially takes the lead in their partnership, people often mistake Chase for her assistant and or bodyguard because of how he is now forced to step back from the situation and mill about, shadowing her.

Julia begins to match Chase at his own ‘sass’ game and starts peppering in quick quips whenever she can. At first, they aren’t always the best but with enough practise and dedication, she is incredibly good at taking a jab at him.

Chase is very good at giving Julia compliments riddled with unintentional insults - a Complisult, Part insult, part compliment. Reference: Britta from Community.

‘‘You should stop taking slander from people Miss Argent, you deserve better than disrespect from those below you. Someone as ‘self-declared’ intelligent as you should be able to come up with something witty in the moment. You can practise on me if you need. I have thick skin.’‘

Chase does not have thick skin.

Julia will comprise a list of things Chase must and mustn't do for them to be able to work together without complications and for his own safety. All copies are laminated (waterproof) and she even made a mini one for his wallet. The main point on the list he will attempt to revoke will be: ‘Chase shall not drive any ACME vehicles unless given express permission from Julia Argent.’

Chase will always hold the umbrella between them when they need to share one on a rainy day because he always forgets to bring his own. He tells Julia that she should walk a little faster when he holds it above them both and Julia retorts that he should simply walk slower, as it’s not like he ever has anywhere important to go, being him.

Chase unintentionally memorized Julia’s coffee order, hot and cold. He insists it’s because she always makes him go and get it but that is only a small contributing factor.

On that note, Chase will sometimes volunteer or suggest to get her a coffee, even when he doesn't want one himself. He just sometimes feels like being nice, only to Julia because she always is nice back.

Chase becomes oddly willing to share his food with Julia or even go get her food and make sure she’s happy with it. He is the one who will send the food back at a restaurant if it wasn’t what she asked for. He tells her that life is too short and pain-ridden for settling for subpar food and that he is happy to make sure she is free from that.

They both agree that marriage is completely overrated. Chase insists it’s a financial scam used by the property market and bank organisations to force money stricken couples into overspending and gathering unneeded debt to commit to the social norms of companionship, as well as the source of overpopulation. Julia sees marriage more of a poor means of expressing one's true love but can see where Chase is coming from. Chase insists it’s a money-laundering scheme set up by patriarchal ideals no longer relevant in society and that it has nothing to do with love, just money.

Long stakeouts often consist of simple conversational fillers that turn into a critical analysis of the society and the poor way it operates, in Chase’s opinion. Julia just enjoys the stimulating, rather educated conversation, even if he often unravels once Julia puts her very unerring 2 cents in about how the world isn’t all bad.

Julia is far too nice in Chase’s opinion. Especially in regards to him. He will often state how if he was her, he would have been much harsher to himself. Julia finds this self-reflection a welcomed sign and in a moment of teasing, she then comments that he’s right and that she will be much harsher and unforgiving to him from now on. This wasn’t the desired outcome Chase was hoping for and ultimately regrets ever saying something.

Chase will fight anyone who disrespects Julia even to a minute degree. He jokes, in an unusual way to outsiders that insulting Julia is ‘his and only his job.’ that it is a ‘privilege, not a right’. At first, Julia didn’t find this funny but after an uncomfortable interaction with a slightly sexist and condescending governmental man, witnessing Chase sucker punch him right in the face in broad daylight allowed her to fully understand and appreciate the point Chase was cryptically trying to convey in a really bad way.

Julia insists that she can fight her own battles, like a functional adult. Chase says that he never said she couldn’t, that throwing that hot coffee over the rude officer and shoving the snobby personal assistant who said Julia looked like a knock off career barbie doll into the lobby ornamental fish pond was strictly based upon personal previous gripes with said individual.

When given the chance to relax and not feel like he is being rivalled, (why does he feel this way? Toxic masculinity forced upon him throughout his entire childhood he still can’t seem to shake or get away from, that’s what) Chase is endearing with his loyalty. It’s the best way he can show affection, romantical and non-romantical.

After screaming it far too many times, Chase has been banned from saying ‘LA FEMME ROUGE’ ever again and Julia stipulated that if he even murmurs it in his sleep she will take legal action against him for every penny he has. Chase at first took this with a grain of salt and yelled it as loud as he could laughing in defiance as she grimaced. The next day, Chase had a young man ask if he was in fact, ‘Chase Devineaux’ while waiting in line for coffee. Once he said yes, all the man said was say; ‘you’ve been served’ and handed him a formal document to say he is being sued by Julia Argent. Whom had, overnight, copyrighted the saying: ‘La Femme Rouge’ and is formally suing him for unlawful use of her saying in a public space. Chase no longer questions Julia’s intentions from this day forward and is equally terrified and in awe of her follow-through.

Julia has also banned Chase from using puns or wordplay in lieu of Carmen Sandiego’s name. With the previous threat having substance he does not test it. Chase still tells Julia for someone whose passion is history and literature, she lacks the theatrical flair that comes with it and thought someone like her would appreciate the wordplay, especially when it comes from someone whose first language isn’t English.

It’s safe to say that Chase becomes additionally thoughtful in his actions, more so because he doesn’t want to upset Julia by making an easily avoidable mistake. He wasn’t completely devoid of forethought, he just didn’t take time out for it, now he does.

There weren’t many instances before where Chase smiled, not being a cocky smirk. His genuine small smile is a welcomed thing they both enjoy at the right time.

It doesn’t take Julia very long to figure out that mints were a substitute for his cigarette addiction he later tells her is a ‘European thing’ when really it’s something he started doing at 14 to 1) look cool and 2) because he liked it. Now it mainly quells the stress that pools inside him. It started out with more mints and no cigarettes, then slowly adapted to all cigarettes and no mints. She makes an effort to always have some with her so he doesn't smoke as when he does because his clothes reek and also because it’s incredibly unhealthy. It’s especially apparent when they are in close quarters for days on end. Julia comments on how diligent he is on his appearance and insists that smell is a part of that too. Chase tries to deflect the awkwardness of Julia’s care and comments: ‘’Didn’t know you were so focused on my looks Miss Argent, I’m flattered.’’ Although, this comment immediately backfires as Chase found that this just made himself feel horribly more awkward with what it may imply.

Julia never thought or expected that Chase could talk with a hushed voice or even in a warm tone about normal things. Seeing him casually, sitting comfortably slouched as if relaxed in his car seat is humbling, comforting and humanising. It reminds her that he is, in fact, just another person trying to do their best at whatever they can.

Chase slowly comes to expect and enjoy Julia’s informational talks and explanations. When actually listening, because he has to now, he understands their relevance to the case on hand and finds it like watching the history channel on TV, except the presenter isn’t an unattractive 80-year-old man with an unbearable cockney accent. Her voice is oddly pleasing when not forcing himself to be angry at every second of his existence. He notes that she is a very good speaker.

Julia teaches him to slow down and Chase guides her on taking what’s rightfully hers.

Chase is a good shot. He is the type of person who is better with their hands than their mind. For some reason, it’s the one thing he doesn’t brag about when he really could be, as he is a really good shot. Julia learns of his skill and implores him to teach her. Absolutely vexed at the idea that he can finally teach her something he accepts. He teaches her well and with great success until they are kicked out of the shooting range because Chase decided to show off. He shot down every lane hitting each target in the head, chest and groin perfectly exclaiming that you get ‘triple points’ for combos. The manager of the range and other customers found this incredibly insensitive but with how joyful and upbeat it made him, seeing him smile with genuine happiness, Julia couldn’t help but laugh along too, accepting the lifetime ban from the range with pride.