#shove it up my ask

[sword-and-stars]

are you a proshipper?

Bestie please I’m an adult with a job

[optimusprick]

“I’ve been asked this many times—Yes, I may have a Megatron figure in my collection... but it’s for sentimental reasons only. Not for the other reasons you all seem to think...”

•

If you want to support me and expand my collection, the link to my other post.

[shitpostingkats]

I'm sorry I'm still not over Riz taking the High Fantasy Equivalent Of Speed except no one remembers he weighs 25 pounds soaking wet so instead of Calming The Hell Down like we all know in our heart of hearts Riz would do if he actually took properly dosed stimulants he just sprints through all 9 phases of hyperfocus and ascends to neurodivergent godhood and starts solving mysteries you've never heard of and then becomes paranoid that someone's gonna take his memories so he goes up to a pirate and asks them to tattoo his red string conspiracy board on his flesh

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Continuation of my other post here, the autobots have come close to figuring out that Optimus is the sire but Optimus is way too moral to spark up an subordinate so they don’t look into it more

Skywarp stole the evidence, Ratchet doesn’t notice cause he and Optimus are too busy with the baby for any fun private parties

[glassedplanets]

a few months ago giffy was like "haha hear me out, what if tattoo au" and then we blacked out and talked about nothing else for like three weeks

[warning-heckboop]

Was going to write a little ficlet to go with this, but. Vaccine tiredness is killer.

A little bit of art for the FOP Nature au by @bunnieswithknives. I cannot recommend checking it out enough.

[teastainedprose]

homelander x fem!reader who RELIGIOUSLY sleeps with a stuffed animal (me and my 20 y/o giraffe with no stuffing in his neck are totally not projecting here)...

he spends the night at her place for the first time and sees it laying on her bed, he teases her for it but is also just slightly jealous because "why do you need this old thing when you've got me?"

"What the fuck is that?" There's equal parts distain and disbelief in Homelander's voice as he plucks up the red plush toy from your bed, turning it over in his hands as a frown tugs his lips down.

"A Charmander," You reply even if you know he has no idea what that is. You busy yourself with turning the covers down as you crawl into bed. Sighing, you Homelander's gaze flicks between you and the large plush toy of a sleeping cartoon creature, one brow lifting. "Ah, right." He rolls his eyes, lips twisting in distain as Homelander squeezes the stuffed animal between his hands. The sleepy placid smile never leaves the Charmander as he briefly sneers at it. "That clears everything up," Homelander quips before dropping the stuffed animal back onto the bed. "Didn't know I was fucking such a childish woman," he goes on with a tone that's almost playful. Almost. You're used to this. Homelander isn't the most mature man. "It's soft and comfy to cuddle." You grab the plush as you settle down in bed, already pulling the covers up over your shoulder as you tuck the stuffed animal in with you. It's your bed the two of you are sharing tonight. Your pillows. Your well-worn sheets and buttery soft blankets. Homelander's bed may be the height of luxury, but it couldn't beat your own for sheer creature comforts. A content sigh escapes you as you burrow down, tucking your chin atop the stuffed animal's head. The perfect pillow. "You're really going to sleep with that- That thing while I'm here?" Homelander asks, voice incredulous as he crawls in beside you. He's quick to tuck himself about your form, never leaving any room for you to breath. Homelander nuzzles into the crook of your neck a moment before settling his chin on your shoulder. His arms snake about your middle, tugging you flush against him as Homelander releases a sigh akin to a put upon dog.

Then he huffs. You can sense as much as see the glare he's giving the toy as you glance up to him.

"Are- Are you jealous of my Charmander?" "No," it's a petulant grumble as he turns to press his face back into your neck. He nuzzles again before his teeth graze the sensitive flesh there and then he bites. "M'just not interested in an audience." There's a growl to his voice and you swear he sounds territorial. Over a plushie. You laugh and the sound turns into a delighted shriek as Homelander moves over you, teeth clamping on your neck as his hands roam over your body. Somewhere along the way, Homelander makes sure to pluck your stuffed animal free of the covers to toss it onto the floor.

[sketchy-tour]

Okay listen I got distracted while working on my ask doodles. BUT LISTEN THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT cause I was listening to an early 2000s playlist on spotify and realized... Reboot Wally would so be a blink 182 fan. And you SO know he would sing that mess at karaoke. A dork. I love him.

Reboot AU belongs to @/bloodrediscream (Man I do not need to tag them for just my silly doodles.

I WILL HOWEVER tag @kawaiialeisha because I feel like you'd appreciate this

[sabotourist]

You see there's a crucial difference between Spartans and Freelancers. Between their fucking insanity.

Spartans were indoctrinated as children. They are finely curated artisan crazy.

Freelancers are the results of some people looking around for the most fucked up individuals they could find and cherry picking the most batshit headcases possible.

See, it's artisanal insanity versus fully organic insanity.

Both results in people willing to jump out of airplanes or whatever.

[cupophrogs]

Please tell me Drew has given CatNap the finger, or some other sort of insult. (That might've almost ended in death.) Shame the last thing he sees won't be Drew's fabulous Minecraft Creeper (Aw man.) boxers. Ú-Ù

Absolutely.

“I think I took a few years off my life, I laughed so hard! Ah… stuff’s funny as hell, I’ll tell you what.”

[scrunckled-idiot]

Can we possibly get a giant medic being nice to a tiny? :3

I know that medic wouldn't give two shits about a tiny child or smth, but maybe this tiny is so young and adorable to the point that he genuinely cannot be mean to them.

Just a silly little thought :3!

fiiiiine he can be niiiice ig

i feel like if he tried hard enough he can be really caring. but then again he has empathy issues like me so WHOMP WHOMP.

[sword-and-stars]

Hope all is well <3

Thanks for checking in, friend! Actually I’ve been very much a little bit in the bad place, lately; I tend to go tumblr lite when I’m experiencing the horrors, so you had pretty great timing.

I’ll be alright; I always am. ♥️

[your-unfriendlyghost]

I’ve been seeing a lot of things talking abt how Steve’s dad being an alcoholic and is this confirmed or smth or did we all just become a hive mind on this??? Because it does say in the book that Steve doesn’t have the greatest relationship with his dad but I don’t remember anything about alcoholism? Did I miss something In the text or was this something confirmed outside of the book/movie I don’t know about??

Good question. Instinctually I wanted to say it was canon, because it seems so engraved into his character for me, but yeah no I just re-skimmed the book for it- All it says is that Steve's dad “...told him about once a week to get out and never come back. It kind of bugs Steve, even if his old man does give him five or six bucks the next morning to make up for it." (Pg. 105)

So yeah I guess that's just a headcannon then/mass hallucination lol.

I mean, it is a solid theory, considering alcoholism is something that could easily lead to erratic behavior like that- I mean, kicking your son out at night but feeling guilty(?) enough to give him $5/$6 by morning? (Keep in mind that's roughly $50/$60 in today's money!) It definitely seems like the sort of actions that'd be brought on by angry drunkenness and then regretted* once he's sober, so I can see why folks flocked to it. But uh yeah it's not technically canon! Ig it's just as possible that his dad just has serious rage issues, completely on his own.

*I'm using "regret" loosely here. To me the money is because of regret, but one could argue that it's more just to keep Steve quiet. I'm gonna stick to thinking of it as guilt though, because the messy human-ness of that is more interesting to me personally

Speaking of which, I think a similar mass hallucination is the idea that Steve's mom abandoned him! This one's less extreme as I think more folks know it isn't canon, but it does still feel relevant to the topic lol. This is a headcannon I only go for sometimes, but a lotta us treat it like it’s canon when it really isn’t. She’s never mentioned, for all we know she’s like, mom of the year or whatever. (Well ig not mom of the year considering Steve’s always being kicked out…but that’s another can of worms lol)

[johnslittlespoon]

Buck showing up to visit Bucky at collage and suddenly all whole campus is talking about that freshman with the scary older biker boyfriend

Stop It I'm Going To Start Biting Things 👍🏻

in my Head, john starts spending every weekend at gale's since during the week they're both busy with classes/work respectively... so yk surely instead of taking the bus every time, gale's in the area occasionally to pick him up from campus and give him a ride...

lol john gets jealous when he comes out of class the first time this happens and finds a group of giggly college girls hanging around gale while gale politely chats and waits for him on his bike, but john can't do shit about it in public bc yk. gays. in 2005.

so when they get back to gale's he makes sure to leave his mark(s+++), bossily pushing gale down onto the couch and crawling into his lap and attaching his lips to his neck, all cranky and mouthy about "they were ready to jump your bones, gale" and gale stifling a laugh because as if that's not exactly what john did the moment the door closed behind the two of them. he finds his impatient possessive grumpy puppy endlessly endearing and sweet <3

[seagull-scribbles]

I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers

[Continuation of this]

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.