#shoutout to my friend who took most of the pics

[apiigeon]

🌸🌸🌸

[rosyblooom]

could you please do lando and a stem girl who goes to uni but has a private life please

they don't know about us | ln4 smau

pairing: lando norris x private fem computer science major!reader a/n: this took me forever but hope u still like :) also, if you've got requests could u add if you want it to be smau or fic pls <3

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landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: Mind you, I just woke up... ]

[ tagged: yourusername ]

Twitter

Instagram

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption 1: 🕒✈️ ] [ caption 2: miami 👋 ]

[ tagged: yourusername ]

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: shoutout to the inventor of coffee i owe u big time🙏 ] [ caption 2: uhm i was just going to rest my eyes for 2 minutes?? good morning i guess💀 ]

f1gossip

liked by username, username, username and 12,057 others

f1gossip Y/N L/N, current girlfriend of Lando Norris, has been photographed arriving at the paddock for today's Miami GP.

Y/N's presence comes as a bit of a surprise, considering she was absent during practice and qualifying sessions, and rarely attends races. Speculation about a potential breakup has been rampant, but her appearance suggests that there might not be trouble in paradise after all... 👀

view all 793 comments

username she always looks so classy and put-together, i'm obsessed <33

username no bc am i the only who has no problem with her only attending a few races a year? some ppl don't have time to jet off across the globe 24/7 like

username it's the fact that they literally travelled to miami together and she still didn't go to quali or practice😐 the other wags do it, why can't she?

username i just know lando had to beg her to come smh

username why are y'all so rude omg?? some ppl are introverts...

username when you're in the public eye, you don't get to be "introverted"🙃 username that's an insane take wtf?

username GUYS i think she's a uni student cause peep lando's story a few days ago🧐 that explains why she's never at gps

username so? i'm a senior and i went to the aus gp this year username okay... do you want a cookie ?

username if a wag is at all races she's fame-hungry, and if she doesn't she's unsupportive like make up y'all's minds pls 🙄

Twitter

Instagram

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption: YOU DID IT!!! HE DID IT!!! MY BABY IS AN F1 WINNER OMFGGG🥹🥳👏 you deserved this so so much, i'm sooo proud of you ❤️❤️❤️ ]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

Twitter

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landonorris

liked by yourusername, _aarava, martingarrix and 2,005,872 others

landonorris Memories for life ❤️

view all 5,947 comments

username aw the 5th pic🥹

username do you think number six is y/n??👀 username 100%

username 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

username LANDO NOW WINS IKTRRRRR‼️🤩

username ofc y/n couldn't even be bothered to comment... and the most unsupportive wag award goes to y/n l/n!! congrats hun x

username y'all are weird YOU DON'T KNOW THESE PPL!! username it's the 'be kind' in ur bio for me miss gurl 🤡

username best day ever 🤧

lewishamilton 👏👏👏

(liked by author)

riabish sooo happy!!!

(liked by author)

username not ria being more of a gf then y/n oop username thanks for being such a good friend to lando, we love you💖

username next goal: beome world champion 👀👀

username yessirrrr

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: back to reality 💔 ] [ caption 2: jkjk it's not that bad, i don't cry nearly as much as i did in first year ����‍↕️☝️ ]

[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]

harvard

liked by yourusername, username, username and 29,063 others

harvard Final projects, theses, dissertations, and more! Check out what these soon-to-be graduates explored in some of their last assignements on campus.

Y/N's thesis navigated the intricate relationship between privacy and secure multi-party computation, enhancing data analysis while safeguarding sensitive information.

2. Steve's environmental science project examined urban development's impact on local biodiversity, providing insights for sustainable urban planning.

3. Nya's dentistry research poster explored new methods to improve dental implant success, promising better patient outcomes and oral healthcare.

—

We are celebrating the extraordinary members of the Class of #Harvard24 🎓

view all 127 comments

username 👏👏👏

username Awesome!

username Very good! Congrats to all these students!!💪

username wait am i tripping or is this y/n as in lando's gf y/n???😳 btw my biggest dream is to go to harvard in '26 !!!! 💕

username 😍😍

username streets are saying y/n goes to harvard so i had to come check and omg??��

username no bc wag AND harvard girly?? just looked at myself and sighed fr... username now i feel bad for talking shit🫤

Twitter

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yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: pulling an all-nighterrrr 😁 ] [ caption 2: nevermind, lando just made me promise to get some sleep :( ]

A few months later...

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yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: couldn't ask for better shoulders to cry on srsly 🙂‍↕️ WE DID IT MY LOVESSS 🎓❤️❤️ ] [ caption 2: this us? 😏 (corny, i know...) ]

[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]

lando.jpg

liked by daniel3.jpg, yourusername, carlossainz55 and 847,903 others

tagged: yourusername

lando.jpg 🍾🎓❤️

view all 4,037 comments

username a win for women iktr 😌

username wow i'm so happy for her omg 🫶🫶 (jealous too but mostly happy loolol)

username LMAO are we the same person?

carlossainz55 👏👏👏

username now she has no excuse anymore

username if lando's completely happy with it all, why the hell are u upset? 🤡

username 2024 really gave us lando's first ever win and now this?? we love to see it 😍

yourusername ❤️❤️

(liked by author)

username we love you y/n <333 username i hope you'll be able to attend more races from now on!! i love seeing you in the paddock 💕

username the way i still haven't fully processed the fact that harvard gave her a shoutout goddamn🤯

usernmae not you calling that a shoutout bye💀💀

username AAHHHH YAYY CONGRATS Y/N YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE ��🤍🤍🤍

0:33 ───ㅇ───────── 2:40

[estebanocon]

Another Singapore GP, another selfie dump.

[1] Nico Rosberg - 2016 WDC gave us a jump scare when he showed up, shoutout to my friend who's a big fan of his who he remembered and was probably the reason why he turned around to smile for this pic because I was so sure he was just going to keep moving down the line. 🥲

[2] Alex Albon - my fellow March Aries: always kind, always obliging and generous with his time, also came prepared with his own marker!! A true professional.

[3] Nico Hulkenberg - I've seen this man every year since 2017 and he's ignored me every single time and I was just going to accept that he was never going to give me the time of day when finally, this year he deigned to take a picture with me. 💀

[4] Franco Colapinto - this man could not be less interested in taking this photo BUT Y'KNOW WHAT? I give him major props for doing it anyway when he could have just ignored me.

[5] James Vowles - the last selfie I took at the Singapore GP! Luckily there weren't a lot of people where I was, so he kindly stopped for a second to take this before going on his way.

[6] Mick Schumacher - another fellow March Aries: most of the time he just signs stuff but that particular day he decided to take pictures with fans as well, which I'm so glad he did. 🥺

[7] Ayao Komatsu - we almost didn't recognise him because he was dressed in civvies on race day?? Anyway, please take good care of Esteban. 🙏

[8] Maya Heug - the only F1 Academy driver I asked for a picture and gotta be honest, I was just stalling so I could ask Rene as well. 🫠

[9] Rene Rosin - after we took this he immediately roasted me for not waiting until they left the paddock because "the picture will be nicer without the gate". 🤡

[10] David Croft aka Crofty - another one for the "I see them every year but I finally got their attention" folder. He always has earphones in so I had to wave my entire arm for him to notice.

[11] Martin Brundle - see above, except he doesn't have earphones in and usually just zips past us.

[12] Simon Lazenby - I just missed him in 2022 so it was good to catch him this time!

[13] Jamie Chadwick - I was surprised that nobody else seemed to recognise her this year but maybe it was because she's not driving? Anw, a nice surprise to see her again!

[14] Anthony Davidson - a friend of mine is a big fan so I've seen him a lot but this was the first time I asked for a pic. 😬

[15] Tom Clarkson - aka the guy who had to tell Max to mind his language during the Thursday press conference. 🙊 I know him as the host of Beyond the Grid and got to tell him I love the podcast, and he thanked me for listening.

[16] Lee McKenzie - Lee, Rosanna Tennant (who was also around!) and Ruth Buscombe (who I saw multiple times but the timing was never right 😭) are probably my favourite track-side reporters. This was my first time seeing Lee in person and I was so glad she took the time to stop for this pic!

[17] Aurélie Donzelot - I've been a fan of her work for years, since she was at Renault/Alpine literally changing the motorsport social media game. She's independent now and I still love following her work spotlighting women in motorsport on her podcast "Racing Lives" as well as her stories on Substack.

[18] Susie Wolff (featuring Jennifer the marshal) - I felt bad at first because my friends also wanted a photo with her and we could have taken a group photo but she was in a rush and only stopped for me. Later that night she saw us again and asked security to step aside so she could take pictures with my friends, which was very kind of her. 🫶

[ more of my F1 experiences ]

[mggssocks]

pov: ur a a-list singer/songwriter and actress. You were in glass onion w/ Madelyn who you ended up becoming good friends with and drew has a giant crush on you and you just pretty much tease him lol <3 (whitneypeak on Instagram as fc but most pics are from Pinterest)

madelyncline

liked by madisonbaileybabe, drewstarkey and 1,728,269 others

madelyncline happiest of birthdays to the ramen noodle lover that always happens to be asleep yourinstagram <3

view all 6,918 comments

yourinstagram why would u post slide 4

↳ madelyncline ur best picture tbh

↳ yourinstagram ykw ur so right

madisonbaileybabe gonna need financial compensation for the amount of times it took to get that first picture

↳ yourinstagram lunch on me tm

*drewstarkey followed you*

*****

yourinstagram

liked by zendaya, drewstarkey and 2,365,709 others

view all 15,863 comments

ynfan01 an EMMY AND GRAMMY WINNER SO ICONIC OF YOU

zendaya beyond proud of you

↳ yourinstagram ty, Z. love u.

madelyncline you’ve officially reached 2/4 of the egot status I love that for you

↳ yourinstagram stawpppp 🥹

arianagrande 🫶🏼🫧

↳ yourinstagram ty, love you and miss u soooo much

***

Madelyn’s Story:

Drew responded to Madelyn’s phone but you had it because you were taking pictures of her.

drewstarkey: tell her I’m single

You showed Madelyn and the two of you laughed about it.

*yourinstagram followed drewstarkey*

*****

Madisonbaileybabe

liked by jonathandavissofficial, yourinstagram and 1,285,092 others

madisonbaileybabe long car rides and lullaby’s

view all 3,938 comments

baileyfan91 PLS MORE S3 BTS CONTENT

yourinstagram why’s the sleepy guy kinda.. 🫦

↳ madisonbaileybabe please don’t get him started

↳ obxfan62 Y/N AND DREW?!?!&&:@&,$

ynfan13 STAY AWAY FROM HER RAFE

hichasestokes Drew’s head just got abnormally big

****

yourinstagram

liked by drewstarkey, carlaciagrant and 3,726,517 others

yourinstagram MET ‘23

view all 12,297 comments

ynfan19 you looked INCREDIBLE

drewstarkey 😍

↳ madelyncline stay away from my friend

↳ yourinstagram i’m a rebel so we now have to hang out, Drew.

↳ drewstarkey of course

drewfan87 not them lowkey flirting 😭

ynfan36 no cause why do I ship..

****

obxfanupdates

341 likes

obxfanupdates drew hanging out with y/n via Madelyn’s story

view all 79 comments

drewfan09 stopp Ik they’re hanging out just to mess with Madelyn but they’d actually be so cute

obxfan1222 they’re messing around but I think drew actually has a crush on her tho lol

↳ rudyfan87 who doesn’t though LMAO

ynfan028 no they were joking in the comments but I didn’t think they’d ACTUALLY hang out LMAOA

↳ obxfan76 ME NEITHER

*****

*3 weeks later*

drewstarkey

liked by nick_v_cirillo, madelyncline and 1,697,354 others

drewstarkey just in case you didn’t know, y/n l/n is the coolest person ever (this totally isn’t her making this post btw)

view all 9,726 comments

yourinstagram oh, me? Gee golly how sweet of you, Joseph!

↳ madisonbaileybabe now you know…

madelyncline ykw, i change my mind. I completely see why the two of you would be perfect.

ynfan198 it’s happening! It’s happening! Everybody stay calm! STAY F$@KING CALM!!

drewfan54 the legal name.. oh they’re fucking for sure 💀

↳ drewfan827 pls don’t put that image in my head 😭😭😭

***

yourinstagram

liked by madisonbaileybabe, carlaciagrant and 2,087,562 others

yourinstagram i really love drewstarkey he really is the best and I’m so in love with him (this definitely is not drew typing this caption just so you know)

view all 14,247 comments

arianagrande ???

↳ ynfan018 the confusion she must be experiencing rn 😭😭

↳ rudyfan91 she’s not in the OBCU (the outer banks cinematic universe) so she wouldn’t understand

dojacat fart

↳ yourinstagram yup

obxfan71 not him tagging himself as a personal shoutout 💀

ynfan61 I need to see where this goes

↳ drewfan09 the slow burn we didn’t know we needed

[antiv3nom]

asuka ask game? pick your favorite one

ok so i do enjoy asuka guiltygear but i have been thinking REALLY hard about asuka tekken as of late so we're talking about her today

also this took me WAY too long to post i apologize but it Is out here so yaaaay

favorite thing about them:

ok so legally i have to mention asuka's tekken 8 design because motherfucker WHAT were they thinking with that one. what the fuck was the inspiration. but i love it so much i cannot lie

other than that, i really enjoy her rivalry with lili and how moderately insane that bit has gotten, and i like how they've kept her a character who is a) defensively focused in her gameplay even among the generally aggressive play of t8, and b) has a generally down-to-earth feel to her despite. Everything. happening in tekken

least favorite thing about them:

so i was actually talking to a friend about this recently and she explained my feelings really well, its like. asuka feels like the protagonist of another story that isnt being told.

it feels like she has so much stuff that COULD be a really interesting plot focus for her but it just. hasnt been? like everything between her and feng COULD be so neat but its just been sort of...by the wayside for the past few games in favor of keeping up with the mishimas (new sitcom there btw)

favorite line:

asuka's quotes are fun but most arent super noteworthy unfortunately? its mostly pretty standard fare for fighting game open and win quotes unforch :( i will say though, i do really enjoy this win line in t8 from her:

It's not good to fight all the time. Well, see ya!

bc like. girl. what do you think youre out here doing rn. girl please

(note: i dont speak japanese so i couldnt say anything towards this, but i wonder if asuka speaks with a kansai accent/dialect in game? her being from osaka and all, itd be a cool little addition)

brOTP:

omg actually ive seen stuff between leo and asuka that's been fun before i really enjoy that, iirc theyre not super close in the main canon but i wanna say in the non-canon webcomic theyre friends? i think thats right? either way its a fun concept

OTP:

asulili...uwoagh........

fellas is it gay to buy your rival's dojo and fill it entirely with roses to get their attention? certainly not. certainly.

i do wish we saw some amount more narrative tension between them since most of it has sort of dissolved by t8 but i do think theyre really cute and as mentioned before i really do enjoy their whole bit its awesome

SHOUTOUT ASULILI WEEK BTW I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE BUT I AM HYPED ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE

nOTP:

i do not think i have been around long enough to see another pairing for asuka, let alone one i dislike, so i cannot answer this question LMAO

random headcanon:

spun my mental wheel of headcanon topics and it wouldnt stop spinning for like half an hour unfortunately so im just telling you that i think asuka would play baiken or may in strive

unpopular opinion:

i still havent been here long enough to know whats unpopular regarding her :,) although i think in terms of gameplay i think she's cooler than most people believe, though i do agree that her current iteraiton in t8 isnt very strong within the meta unforch :(

song i associate with them:

i can nigh on guarantee that it's because ive been listening to this song while thinking about her really hard recently but absolute zero by natori (banger btw go watch the music video it goes unbelievably hard), i think the lyrics arent entirely unfitting though!!!

favorite picture of them:

i really like this profile art option for her, the posing is fun and the textures on the clothing are really impressive

and then also i have to mention her preset 3 outfit which i LOVE SO SO MUCH

(apologies as i cant find a better example pic and do not feel like opening t8 at 2 in the morning on this day)

[kmomof4]

WIP Wednesday!!! Birthday fics!!!

My oldest and dearest fandom friends are celebrating their birthdays in the next week and a half and I am counting down the days!!! 

@hollyethecurious​ and @winterbaby89​ are both January babies and this year they are both getting a birthday fic from me!!! Shoutout to @motherkatereloyshipper​ for her manips of CS, and Snowing shown below in the artwork.

@winterbaby89​ is first, with her fic A Very Disney Proposal dropping one week from today!!

Twenty minutes later, Granny and Ruby were escorting him and David from the costuming area behind the scenes to the Princess Fairytale Hall in Fantasyland, where Emma and Mary Margaret were about an hour away from the end of their time greeting guests as Cinderella and Snow White. The ladies were on either side of the hall, so once the group got to the branch where they’d have to split to surprise their respective girlfriends, Granny took Killian left and Ruby took David right.

Granny cracked open the door to the hall and character greeting area to watch for the current guests to leave. The plan was to surprise ‘Cinderella’ before the next guests arrived.

~*~*~

Emma Swan waved goodbye to the family from Texas and turned towards the other side of the hall. She saw Mary Margaret bidding farewell to her guests, who were now heading her way. Suddenly the door to backstage opened and Cinderella’s Prince Charming stepped through. It took her a moment, but her eyes widened when she recognized her boyfriend, Killian. Her jaw dropped, but she quickly snapped it shut and schooled her features as he approached her, his gloved hand held out to her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Then, @hollyethecurious​ fic, A Mistress to No One, will be dropping a week from Sunday, on the 22nd. Her fic is inspired by An Offer From a Gentleman, Benedict’s story in the Bridgerton series by Julia Quinn. No artwork for this fic yet because I’m still furiously writing, but I will share pics of our favorite couple in their ball attire. Manips by @motherkatereloyshipper​. Thank you so much, babe!!!

  He began to approach her when he heard a wave of whispers behind him. The hair at the nape of his neck stood on end and a sense of anticipation gripped him. He knew he shouldn’t allow anything to distract him from his pledge, but his curiosity overwhelmed him and he turned toward the entrance of the ballroom.

It was as if time stood still. At the entrance of the room stood what he could only describe as a true princess come to life. She was dressed in a beautiful, shining blue gown whose skirt sparkled like diamonds. The bodice and sheer short sleeves were trimmed with silver detailing that flashed when it caught the light. Her mask was silver and had an exquisite swan detail around the right eye. Tendrils of blonde hair framed the other side of her face. But it was her gaze that captured his attention most. This was a woman filled with unadulterated joy. She looked around the room as if she’d never seen a more glorious sight than all the silly members of the ton dressed in their ridiculous costumes.

Her beauty was truly breathtaking, the way she held herself, the poise, the grace of her movements. She was radiant and he had to be close to her. Mary Margaret was completely forgotten as he strode purposefully across the room. Three other gentlemen had beaten him to the lady and stood around her showering her with praise and compliments.

She didn’t react as he would expect a lady of the ton to react. She didn’t lower her eyes demurely, she didn’t giggle, she didn’t act coy or as if their adulations were her due. She simply smiled at them. Or beamed rather. He held his hand out to her.

“Pardon me, gentlemen. But the lady has already promised this dance to me.” He gazed into her green eyes, which widened slightly at his bold pronouncement. He wondered if she would expose his lie for what it was.

She smiled and placed her hand in his. He drew her closer and then led her out to the dance floor.

~*~*~

Thank you for reading and sharing!!! Happy birthday in 7 and 10 days, @winterbaby89​ and @hollyethecurious​!!!

I am resetting my tag list for ‘23! If you’d like to be on it, please let me know either by DM, responding to this post, or contact me on discord. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll remove you, no worries!!

[umichenginabroad]

WEEK 8: LAST HURRAH

Hi everyone! If this is your first time coming across my blog, my name is Jules, and I’ve been studying abroad in Prague for 8 weeks now. I can’t believe I’m sitting here documenting my final week in this amazing city. This international experience has truly been one of the best decisions I have ever made and has gifted me with one unforgettable summer. Now let me jump into a quick recap of my week. (Side note: sorry this blog post is delayed; I will get into the treacherous reason why in my next blog.)

After coming home from Amsterdam, I immediately locked in to study for my Linear Algebra final. It ended up going super smoothly, and I am very satisfied with my overall grade and performance in this course. All the math classes in my program collectively took a field trip to Prague’s Technical Museum on Tuesday. It was interesting to see the impact of engineering on this country’s technology and industry through the development of automobiles, aircrafts, bicycles, and ships. I am so grateful to have taken this course in such a dynamic environment with equally amazing professors and classmates!

Before leaving our host country, my friends and I had to squeeze in our last family dinners. On Tuesday night, a huge group of us grabbed dinner at a traditional Czech restaurant that was actually recommended to us by Petra (our professor from Art & Architecture in the Golden City), which I thought was a very fitting last meal. One of the things that I loved most about this study abroad experience was the friendships I have built. Thinking about going back to school and seeing them around campus makes me so excited. The following night on Wednesday, my apartment had our last dinner together at a pizza restaurant right down the street. I’m going to miss living with them so much!! And after dinner, we of course had to end things off the Prague way by going out together one last time. Shoutout to my absolute favorite, Dog Bar, for giving me and my friends some of the most unforgettable nights here. 

Last dinners. && Final group pics.

On Thursday night after a full day of packing up, my mom and my sister arrived!! I spent the next few days showing them around my beautiful host country and giving them a taste of my life here for the past 8 weeks. Now, we’re headed to Paris, London, and Genoa to end off my unbelievably long summer traveling and living from suitcase to suitcase!!

Fam's arrival! && Last views of Prague.

To reminisce a little, here are some top things I’m going to miss about Prague (the little details):

The sun rising at 4:30 AM and setting at 9:30 PM.

The dogs running around politely leashless next to their owners.

The $3 high quality cups of coffees. 

The public transportation speakers announcing the stop “I.P. Pavlova”.

The Thai red curry and pad thai at the restaurant below our apartment (shoutout to Madame Lyn Restaurant).

The zig zagged walk from my apartment to the CEA CAPA center. 

The feeling of coming back “home” after a weekend away in a different country. 

I want to leave you guys with a couple recommendations I have for anyone who is looking into studying abroad in Prague or just traveling here. Feel free to reach out for a more extensive list!

Restaurants:

Venue (brunch)

Sweet and Pepper Days (brunch)

Pod Vysehradem (Czech)

U Tri Jelinku (Czech)

Bricks (Italian)

Trattoria Cicala (Italian)

Madame Lyn (Thai/Vietnamese)

Hanoi Square Restaurant (Vietnamese)

Masala Vodickova (Indian)

Big Smokers (barbecue)

Manifesto Market (food market)

Angelato Ujezd (gelato)

Cafe Du (great study spot)

Going out:

Karlovy Lazne, Epic, Duplex (three biggest clubs here)

Riegrovy Sady, Zahradni Letensky (beer gardens)

Dog Bar!!!!

Anonymous Shrinks Office (speakeasy vibe)

I’m feeling so bittersweet leaving my summer home, but every good thing must always come to an end. Prague and this entire experience will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you guys for following my study abroad journey and travel adventures!! I have loved being able to document my weeks in Europe. My last and final blog will be up next week covering a reflection of my study abroad experience and a recap of my time in Paris, London, and Genoa!

Jules Hwang

Industrial and Operations Engineering

Engineering in Prague

[bliss-tastic]

Super boop

And also slightly evil boop

Muse ask game: all of the even numbers

Boop

Thank you for the ask, it took me some time haha

2. Muse song that sounds better live -

4. Fav Muse cover - It has to be Can't Take My Eyes Off You because that's my gf and my song. Also I love the Sign 'O Times one soooooo much, I used to rip it from youtube to put it in my ipod. Those were the times.

6. Fav Matt dance - TIRO shuffle takes the cake. I like all of the weird (iconic) ones.

8. Fav mime - All of them are golden but Dom ATE the Italian one 😎

10. Fav non-studio lyric - Matt swearing and especially him swearing and having to mumble the rest of the line because the swear didn't fit. Hilarious.

12. Fav Muse member tweet - Matt's "Dominique Howard" one. And him getting his ass beat by Dom for it. Yes Dom get his ass

14. Fav jam/riff - all of the drum and bass ones. I actually crave them. And they go so hard!!!

16. Fav Chris pic - EXCUSE ME

NO WAIT

NO WAIT

THIS ONE UGH

18. Fav merch - I have T2L flag as my piano cover and that is so beautifulll also i love the big print of all the artwork incl singles

THIS ONEEE i will hang it up in my home one day cause i don't wanna ruin the walls of this rental. Buuut I love it so much.

20. Fav live moment - Matt's intrusive thoughts getting the best of him. Him slapping Dom's ass is no.1 Him randomly serenading Dom with TIRO. Just sheer Matt insanity. Special shoutout Showbiz being played LIVE WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

22. Fav guitar/bass riff /drum fill - I know Hysteria is very popular but i dieee every single time. The air feels fresher, my eyes feel clearer. Also Futurism yum

24. What's something you wish Muse did that they don't normally do - random pics. They are more private and i love that for them but I would die for the most random assortment of pics of them just popping on my feed at random times.

26. Fav Muse pop song - is Compliance a good answer?

28. Fav Muse piano/organ part - B&H!!!!

30. Fav Muse fanart - ALL OF THEM i love the art SO MUCH

32. Have you followed Matt's advice about not give a fuck if people think you're a pretentious wanker - nah bro i have ✨️anxiety✨️

34. Have you met any of the band - no 😭

36. Fav song to sing along to - lately it's been Verona but I love singing so all of them (yes even micro cuts)

38. Fav instrumental to play - Exo III my beloveddd

40. Fav live era - all of them for different reasons that could fill up essays.

42. Fav festival performance - one random one in Poland in 2016 because I WAS THERE and i got my semi-muser friend to take the 16h bus ride with me we had a blast

44. Would you block someone for posting too much Muse - never. Bring. It. On.

46. Best Muse fan community - as if anything could beat Museblr 😘

48. Have you ever taken part in old Muse easter eggs - there was this one thing during drones era but it was in main European cities and I live in bumfuck Estonia so I couldn't. So noo

50. Chris' curls or the legend of Pedro - I love both of them but curls for the win <3

52. Matt offered 50k£ for the first to go and perform shirtless, who? - Dom saw dollar signs when he said it so my money's on him

54. Mirror Manson or Glitterati - Glitterati was so iconic but let's let her rest. So Mirror Manson

56. Fav silly Muse video - the one where they all eat shit, it was just on my timeline a bit ago. Hi-la-ri-ous

58. Does the singer from Muse only have one tooth - TOOF

60. Fav Matt swearing in a song - all of them i love swearing it's so embedded in my vocabulary it's almost ruining my life. Swearing in Estonian (native), English (almost bloody native), Russian (broken but always gotta know the swears), Spanish (know un poco but like i said, gotta know the swears)

Again thank you so much for these!!! This was a laugh 😁

[darylspissslit]

I wanna take a moment to be cheesy about 2022.

Last year didn't start off too well. I was still dealing with a blood clot in my brain and the constant risk of it bleeding and causing another stroke or seizure had me stressed out. I was scared it would happen while I was holding my baby so I was scared to spend time with him and scared to be alone with him just in case something happened to me he wouldn't get hurt or be left unattended until I could get to my phone.

I was stressed over my child being behind on his development because he was born so early and doctors made us feel like we weren't working with him enough.

I had also decided at the beginning of 2022 to cut off the friends I had because they were bad for my mental health. They ignored me and made me feel unloved during my pregnancy and then after I had him in 2021 they didn't bother to check up on me or see how my son was doing. My son and I both had difficulty during the pregnancy. He was born 9 weeks early and was 2lbs when he was born and lived in the NICU for a month and I had multiple seizures and a stroke 2 days after having my son due to a bleeding clot in the brain. And none of my "friends" bothered to check on us. After that I tried to have a friendship with them but they made it perfectly clear that they didn't want to be friends unless I had something to offer and I didn't. I was recovering and being a stay at home mom with strict rules for people coming around my son and they didn't like that. So when 2022 came around I decided to cut all contact with them and I went friendless for about 7 months.

But then I decided to be on Tumblr a little more than I was. I met some great people on here that were really nice, accepting, and supportive. I started interacting more and following more blogs and it was nice to be part of a Tumblr community again (the Daryl community is so much nicer than the one direction community when I was on Tumblr forever ago). I write fics now. At a very slow pace but I am writing. It's fun. It may not be good but it's good enough for me because I have fun writing. I used to write one direction fics back in the day but that was literally in middle school so it's been a looong time. I love writing for Daryl. He's literally the best fictional man to exist and he receives no love in the show so I love writing him being loved 😭. And people like reading about him being loved. And every single like, reblog, and comment I get on my fics makes me wanna write more. Its crazy to think people are actually reading what I write and supporting me. I love literally everyone who took the time to read even just the first sentence of my fics. Y'all are amazing 💗💗💗💗

I also decided to try making friends again. My old roommate finally broke up with her boyfriend (he was the reason we moved out) her ex was a bad person who changed her and nobody could convince her he was as bad as he was. So when she left him and she needed a friend I was there. I liked being roommates with her but our other roommate (her bf) was trash so when my bf and I left I stopped talking to her. So it was nice becoming friends with her again. Now I have one of the best most supportive fun friends I could ask for. The past 6 months being friends with her has been better for my mental health than the past 4 out of 10 years I spent with my now ex best friend. My ex best friend has seen my son in person twice since he was born. My now best friend sees him everyday, watches him if I need to take a nap, sits with him at the house if the weather is too bad to take him out, helps me take care of him when she comes over. She is the best friend I could ask for. I know she's not on Tumblr but SHOUTOUT TO ALEX FOR BEING SO FUCKING AMAZING AND BEING THE BEST FRIEND I NEEDED THIS YEAR.

My son is doing better also. Beginning of 2022 he was still behind. But eventually we upgraded to sippy cups instead of bottles, he eats a little more solids than he used to even though he's incredibly picky. He learned to walk and now he runs and climbs. He's almost talking (I'm convinced my son knows how to talk and he just doesn't want to cause he makes almost talking noises all the time but when we try to teach him to talk he just smiles at us and stays silent). He has his own room now and he sleeps in a toddler bed (we call it his big boy bed) he loves his bed. He stands on it lays down in all directions on it. He like to lay backwards with his feet on the wall when he's watching movies. Speaking of movies he now has more than 2 favorite movies. His first favorite movie was Moana. His face would light up and he would smile and dance side to side when Moana was on. Then he loved Encanto. Now he loves Moana, Encanto, Turning Red, Frozen 1 &2, Wreck it Ralph, Ratatouille (he laughs when the mice are talking), Coco, and Luca. My son is doing great he's living his happy little life and I'm so grateful to be able to watch him grow up and become his own little person I love learning new things about my son all the time.

My relationship with my bf was strained the beginning of this year too. The stress got to both of us. He was having to take care of our son and me while also working. I pulled what weight I could but I know he was carrying us the whole time. I would have given up if it wasn't for him. We had our fights and even talked about breaking up but in the end we love eachother too much to give up. And I'm happy we didn't because after my deep depression lifted we were good again. We've even been tossing out little jokes about getting married 🤞🏽.

I no longer go to therapy and I'm off meds for now. I'm finally seeing a doctor about this pain in my uterus so I can finally get it taken care of after 8 months of extreme pain and discomfort during sex. I've also somehow lost 70lbs this year which is crazy to think about. I don't really look like I've lost it but I can tell in the loose skin around my arms, stomach, thighs, and even my breasts. I got to buy a belt for the first time in years since my pants don't fit and it's nice to put on a shirt that was tight at the beginning of the year.

Anyways this year has been a rollercoaster and luckily it had a pretty smooth ending. This year I'm hoping to make it one to remember. I have plans on going back to school, planning small family trips so my son can experience more than this town has to offer, I'm hoping to keep my only real friendship going, I don't plan on making new friends but if I do I hope they aren't secretly trash like the other ones were. I will not allow myself to be used or talk down to by people this year. And I will have fun and live every moment the best I can.

OH also this year I joined a discord server for people who live Daryl/Norman and I'm so happy I did because I don't know what I would be like now if I hadn't meet those amazing people who make me feel included and safe. We laugh about the stupidest stuff but we have so much fun. I've never had a group of online friends and it's one of the best things ever. Also because of that discord group I went to Los Angeles, California for The Walking Dead finale event and met one of the girls from the group in person who's also amazingly talented and one of my favorite fic writers EVER and we got to witness the finale of twd together. It was such a fun experience that I will never forget and I'm so thankful for that moment. ALSO I GOT NORMAN REEDUS' SCRIBBLY SHITTY AUTOGRAPH AT THE EVENT AND HE TOOK A SELFIE ON MY PHONE! I also got Paola Lázaro and Angel Theorys' autograph aka Princess and Kelly. Also also we bumped into Angel Theory in the hall at the event and she looked me up and down and said "pretty". I was shook. I melted. I have yet to feel ugly since that moment. And to think I had second thoughts about the outfit I wore that night 🤦🏾‍♀️.

There were a lot of first times for me on that trip. My first time on a plane, first time taking a far away trip on my own,first time going to California, first time in a city as big as LA, first time meeting an online friend, first time going to any big event, first time seeing a red carpet, first time seeing celebrities so close, first time getting a famous person's autograph, this some small things but was my first time on a rooftop bar, first time on one of those Byrd scooters, and kinda my first time walking around a big city. I didn't even need to go sight seeing I was having so much fun just being somewhere new.

HAPPY 2023!!!

[solarpearl]

fashion world! au

characters: zhongli, xiao, childe, albedo, diluc content warnings: none! ask to tag if you need it (i don’t mind!) a/n: shoutout to my bestie @stellarpredator​ who is the good ideas to my “childe captions like noah centineo” pea brain. similar to the scifi au i posted but much more organised. you guys are all beautiful you cannot convince me otherwise. what’s playing: umpah umpah by red velvet.

zhongli

zhongli is the ceo of fashion industry giant rex lapis inc. known for their sophisticated and elegant styling, most models would KILL to be able to work with RLI, much less work with the mr zhongli himself.

which it why it frustrates him to no end when you-- booked & busy fashion world modelling icon, never pick up his calls.

zhongli, pointing at a photoshoot you recently did with ragvindr: WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON’T??? xiao, employee of the year: mr zhongli please sit down the people are staring.

you never seem to spare him a glance at any of your important business meetings. everytime he comes up to you you’re scurrying away to somewhere else, everytime he tries to catch your attention with those amber eyes you’re staring intently at the paper cup in your hand. every single time you always seem to be somewhere else entirely.

zhongli feels personally targeted, which is why he doesn’t spare a second to corner you at the balcony of an afterparty.

he calls your name quietly, and you almost drop the phone in your hand as you whirl, eyes wide that someone had came in after you.

“would you give me the pleasure of capturing your beauty... and letting the whole world marvel?”

zhongli, thundering after you: PLEASE WE NEED TO TALK you, confused: EXCUSE ME PLEASE STOP CHASING ME SOMEONE GET THE PAPARAZZI OUT OF HERE

xiao

xiao doesn’t really think he’s fashionable, he really just throws on the same leather jacket each day and a graphic tee and call it a day.

unfortunately everyone seems to think otherwise, & after a chance encounter and his photo appearing in the magazine he’s well on his way to becoming the next top model.

a year into his career and xiao is on ALL the magazines, his face is recognisable worldwide, and he gets pretty embarrassed whenever his friends point at the huge billboard with his face on it.

yet none of his advertisements have him smiling (his friends says he doesn’t know how to, but he just scoffs at them) and there’s this strange melanchony as he can’t seem to stop thinking about the first photographer that first took his photo (and somehow made him smile??)

(that’s you baby you’re the only one who xiao smiles at)

so when he finally manages to catch you again in the next room over from one of his shoots..? his hand darts out before he can think.

“now that i’ve got you... i’m never going to let you go.”

pls read on all the funny ones are under the cut.

childe

famous soundcloud rapper streamer childe accidentallys like a photo of you on the ‘net, then lets it slip on stream that he thinks you’re really beautiful.

somehow his friends are suddenly daring him to comment on your post, & you have to wake up confused as to why the top comment with the most amount of likes is “barbeque sauce on my tiddies” from this verified guy, but hey, at least he’s cute.

childe: barbeque sauce on my tiddies childe's fans: get him boys

you manage to follow him back and the next day childe drops a shirtless pic on the gram and all his fans are screaming at him for being too obvious (you don’t even see it)

the caption? “i love you? i am you.” wise words mr centineo.

you: new vid dropping with childe tonight! the fans: OH MY GOD THIS IS IT THEY’RE ANNOUCNING THEIR RELATIONSHIP the video: shopping in snezhnaya (i made my best friend carry everything) the fans: fuck they friendzoned him

you two manage to keep your relationship a secret for a year before announcing it on a stream and the fans when absolutely ballistic.

“you and i make a great pair, don’t you think?” “sure, barbeque sauce on my tiddies.”

albedo

this is fashion world, and albedo’s at the top. he’s known as bold and fashionable but also stupidly hard to work with.

you, a model-in-training that happens to go to the same school as albedo-- and ready as hell to drop out any second.

you have the unfortunate pleasure of working with THE mr albedo himself for the last project of the year-- the most important one that makes up 30% of your grade.

its off to a great start when albedo takes you ‘shopping’ to ‘get a sense of your tastes’, only to stop and admire and sketch an hilichurl for most of the day before wordlessly carting off with a canvas of wet paint (decidely not a picture of you OR an outfit)

the next day goes just as well-- you spy albedo humming over twenty pieces of faux fur that look practically identical to your untrained eye. he goes away with four bags of mysterious fabrics and tells you to call him up tomorrow.

you arrive the next day wondering whether or not he'll put you in a hilichurl fursuit until he turns around with the most gorgeous piece that you’ve ever laid eyes on. you’re certain this isn’t the albedo you met on the first day.

"i needed to make a piece befitting of your beauty... do you not like it?”

diluc

you, popular media fashion influencer, somehow fucking makes it to one of the most elite fashion shows ever-- mondstadt fashion week.

(and you absolutely kill it, shut up.)

there, an outsider to all the glitz and glam and horror fashion, you find yourself lost and confused, and also terrified at all the parties that you seem to be invited to everyday.

you find your unlikely companion in fellow outsider-- quiet fashion ceo heir diluc ragvindr, an outside to the frivioulus runway, just like you.

he doesn’t do parties-- and he can’t strut the runway like his brother. he doesn’t even get how safety pins work (much to your chargrin, how is he supposed to take over a fashion company like THIS??)

it’s just sad that you two had to meet by sitting next to each other on a runway show, and how the person next to you is practically shoving you right into his lap.

“not a fan of runway shows, but i suppose there are worse people to be sitting next to.”

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

February

Split my time between OR and MI. Aka I went out to michigan to see Jared for the second half of the month

The weather in Eug was SO nice that month? See pic at top from hike with @everythinginstride + nathan. They know how to spice up a hike let me tell ya. Summit coffee and stroop waffels 👌🏻

In Michigan we stopped to get Detroit style pizza the night I flew in as per usual. Jared's bestie who I had yet to meet irl came which was awesome. And I got a cocktail with gummy bears which was extra awesome.

Lots of snow! So fricken cold! So much running and snow and stressing about slipping! But I also finally got to meet up with @neu-run and run irl (so fking windy and cold omg) which was very nice (and made up for the wind and cold)

Took a day trip to Grand Rapids! Went climbing and ate tacos. Ideal.

Took a weekend trip to Traverse City. Amazing.

We stayed at this awesome airbnb and it was on a farm and we got to chill with the goats and cows and feed them and they were so fun and friendly.

Explored Sleeping Bear + went to wineries + went to a distillery that had yurts you could hang out in and play board games + drove up the peninsula. Definitely has me thinking about the Bayshore Marathon some day 👀

Went to a birthday party for one of J's friends and it was so much fun and very college-party-esque. Plus I got to meet most of his friends for the first time (shoutout covid!)

[nugnthopkns]

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don���t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

it's loving my friends hours, folks

hi so. i hit 1.5k a bit ago and while i dont want to do a follow forever (did one for 1k, it took so fucking long), i do want to like. talk about my friends! because i love them. so here we go, time for emo hours here at james jamesvanriemsdyk dot tumblr dot com

to all of the people ive met and talked to in the past few months: i am so grateful to have met you. i am so grateful to be your friend, whether we talk every day or not, and it is such a huge fucking gift to know you and be known by you. i would give you all a little paragraph but then i would get out of control and this post would never end because i have a lot of fucking love in my heart okay??? i love yall a whole hell of a lot ( @goaliehugs​ @farfrombucky​ @andrewcogliano​ @couturriere​ @brockmcgrinn​ @boesersson​ @steadyfreddie​ @nicolasaube-kubel​ @alexvass​ @beauvilliers​ @girouxes​ )

to all the mutuals i see in my notifications a lot (and the ones i dont), the new followers and the old ones, all my super sweet anons, anyone who’s tagged a post with a lovely comment or who’s messaged me with sweet words: thank you. for just like - existing in the same timeline as me, and being wonderful, and choosing to be kind even though im a clown. i love you all a lot.

to @heckeyleague​ @iceburgh87​ and @assistantcaptainmitchmarner​ : im so grateful we still talk, if only every once in a while, and if only through streak snaps. it’s been, what, how many years? four? more? i look forward to snaps of your pets and the little glimpses of your lives i get every day. i love yall to pieces.

and here we go:

@fireworksatdawn​ : hi jayc. its, like, really hard to believe that ur essay comments on my fics led to this but - im really grateful. just, really fucking grateful. youre so kind and so loving and such a wonderful presence in my life and im so grateful that once c*vid has died down, we’ll, like. be able to see each other? fucking wild. thank you for all the fic convos and the tswift tiktoks, and the memes when im sad. i love you a ton, and im so, so glad you’re my friend. shoutout to philly as, like, a concept for giving me all the emotions i needed to write my heartbeat fics. (im still emotional about the fact that you tell me ‘its late for you, go to bed’ every time i stay up past 10pm. its the being known for me <3)

@pencilhoarders​ : my favorite flyers art witch. what an incredibly kind, talented soul you are. what a beautiful heart you have, really and truly. i love listening to you talk about your ideas and seeing your art process, and i love that your mind works like mine does, and that we really do understand each other. i love that you’re going after your dream and i know you’ll be incredible at whatever you decide to do post-grad - you’re simply too amazing not to be. thank you for sending me those anons about the canes what feels like forever ago; i am so fucking glad i get to call you my friend.

@majorpenalty​ : you are, without a doubt, one of my most favorite people ive ever met on this site. your life is fucking wild and you are so funny and kind and resilient, and i never want to not be your friend. i love losing my mind with you for five to eight hours on zoom, i love just being able to just exist with you even though we have half a country between us. you are so intelligent and strong and lovely, and you deserve every single good thing in the entire world. thank you also for sending me those wild ass anons, and for sending me all the videos of you singing trap bunny bubbles and tswift on snap (we have the yellow heart now uwu) and for just - being there and understanding. you are so brilliant and i cant fucking wait to watch you continue to grow and succeed. i love u so fuckin much.

@softgrantaire​ : hi, alex! kiss the cats and your baby for me and tell your husband i said hey. also, sorry in advance for how long and sappy this is about to be, because im already choked up thinking about it! so: i would not be the person i am today without you. its been a literal month since we became friends, but i literally have never felt more immediately loved or accepted by anyone in my life. you are, probably, the reason i felt comfortable enough to change my name in public; youre the first person i told i was deeply uncomfortable with my name and you changed it immediately, without fucking blinking, and i knew trans friends hit different, but i didnt realize how different it would hit til i met you. and its not just that, either, its the kindness and the trust and the mutual respect, and the pics and vids of jules and the cats all day, its being genuinely excited to see your name pop up on my phone screen, its the voice messages on my way home from work and its the sound of you laugh and the comfort that exists in the little space we’ve carved out for ourselves. i love being your friend, and i love that you’re my friend, and i want us to be that for a long, long time -  ill always be the nolpat to your g. i love you so fucking much, dude.

@codyglass​ : ngl, i typed your url and just like - froze, for a minute. because like. how do you talk about a friendship like this? how do you put it into words? how do you describe all of the laughter and the tears and the years we’ve had together? its the kindness for me, its the communication and comprehension for me, its the unconditional love for me. there isnt a place i feel safer than our friendship; there isnt a person on earth i love like i love you. thanks for all the late nights, all the massive fic concepts/outlines we’ll never write but always find solace in, for all the nolpats roasts, for all the hockey tears and all the real life tears too. for listening to folklore with me for the first time when it dropped, for understanding when i couldnt turn it off for weeks after, for getting the days i send you 30 messages in a row and the days i cant get out of bed. it’s so fucking insane that we’re friends, still - how fucking incredible is it that i met my best friend, who lives 1846 miles away from me, through fucking hockey of all things? youre the best gift life ever gave me, and its such a fucking blessing to be alive at the same time as you, much less to be your best friend. i love you to the moon and to saturn.

[seokmingming]

✨ Content Creator Year in Review ✨

The lovely @haniehae tagged me to do this!! 

First creation of 2020:

It appears to be this youngbin moodboard!!

Most recent creation of 2020:

it’s this suho moodboard!! it was a slight challenge getting all the colouring right, but i think i did okay :)

One of your favourite creations from 2020:

i really like this donghun one, i remember wanting to write something for it, but not having the time. the general concept was that you’re bffs and it’s his birthday so you take him to the local convenience store to buy whatever he wants and then walk back to your place (or his) to enjoy your snacks and just hangout and maybe later you go on a bike ride around your neighbourhood and just do whatever the heck he wants bc he deserves the entire world

A creation you’re really proud of:

this doyoung one was a very specific request, i wasn’t really sure about it at first, but a friend was able to see exactly was i was going for w/o me even saying anything, so that was a relief. i can’t just mention one, so i’ll also add this seventeen one, most of my moodboards use the same 3x3 format with 9 pictures, but this one has a different layout so i was very happy with the way it turned out, plus the story is cute too

A new style you tried this year and a work that uses it:

i started writing really cheesy blurbs for my moodboards for a bit. my favourites are this junhee one and this jacob one. it’s funny how they’re both food related and sickeningly cute. i wanna give a little honourable mention to this woong one bc even though the moodboard isn’t my best work, the story is too adorable not to give a little shoutout

A creation that took you forever:

i have no recollection of how long any of my moodboards take, they more or less all take roughly the same amount of time

Your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

the birthday moodboard i made for jinjin this year!! it’s just peaches and apples i don’t understand but okay

A creation you think deserved more notes:

uhh let me see, like everything i’ve ever made?? but i’ll mention a couple specifically. firstly, this bomin one, idk the idea of going on a late night ice cream and dessert run with your s/o or bff on his birthday is too cute for me. next it’s this youngtaek one, this moodboard isn’t necessarily my favourite one, but i think the concept is pretty unique and it’s got cats, so for that reason alone, it should have more notes. lastly, the dawon one, i was trying to make something that felt nostalgic and expressed the feeling of growing up and i don’t think i did a bad job, plus it was the first time i used someone’s baby photos in a moodboard

A new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

i didn’t join the fandom this year, but i finally got around to making my first verivery moodboard this year, my favourites are this hoyoung one and this dongheon one

A creation you made that breaks your heart:

none of them really break my heart, but i guess i’ll just put this youngmin one here, not bc this creation itself is heartbreaking, but him leaving his group was

A ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

this byeongkwan one has no concept, it’s literally just yellow flowers

A creation that was inspired by another one:

i really can’t think of any

A favourite creation created by someone else:

this dongheon set that @binminseok made after i dropped many hints, a piece that @queen-of-himbos wrote for me during the astro gift exchange (but i can’t find sadly) and this rocky edit that @fantasia-cream made which was a very pleasant surprise

Some of your favourite content creators from the year (also tag you’re it!! if you’ve already done it i’m sorry):

@binminseok @chawoongs @dkymm @adorablehoshi @xiaocity @dobbis @taesaqua @lixikan @today-we-will-survive @queen-of-himbos and i literally have no idea who’s still here making content and who’s not

And for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love:

this bakery younghoon moodboard, yes another food related one (i have more of those), i made this for a deobi challenge/event, but after it didn’t do very well, i lost motivation to participate, which was very disappointing, especially since the story that goes with it is the cutest. 

my pizza delivery boy chan moodboard, this is another moodboard that isn’t necessarily my best work imo, but the concept is very unique i think, how do i come up with these?? and the story is just, again, adorable. why did i write so much fluff

paperboy daehwi moodboard, so i came up with this concept after seeing him dressed like that in his pics and made the moodboard, but then kinda just left it in my drafts until my friend helped my create the story that goes with it, which i was very happy with

this guitar boy joochan moodboard is very aesthetically pleasing to my eyes

this messy road trip with hoshi moodboard, this was another board i struggled with colouring-wise, but i’m very pleased with the way it turned out

this subway eunwoo moodboard, it’s got nothing to do with subway except for the fact that he’s holding one in his hand, but i had no idea what to caption it and i think i’m hilarious when i’m not. also can’t go wrong with cats

and just bc my weird brain can’t end this with 6, i’ll add this yellow cafe sehyoon moodboard so that there’s 7 in this list. i specifically like this one though, bc most cafe themed moodboards have more of neutral colour scheme, but i’m in love with the brightness of this

[bridgecityswift13]

hi. so i’ve talked about this a few times on here but i usually end up deleting it but today i’m not. 2 years ago today (december 8th 2018) i was diagnosed with a massive brain tumor in my cerebellum. (also got my tickets to reputation but that’s not the point) this was the day my entire life changed. i started having pretty bad headaches in march of 2017 and i’m not one to complain so i didn’t really say anything. they got worse and worse to the point where i started throwing up and passing out at school so obviously my mom made me go to the doctors. i got a neuro exam (and passed) so it just sounded like migraines so he set up a CT scan just to be sure. my scan was a week later (friday the eighth) and the monday if that week i passed out in the school bathroom and went to the ER and they told me i had UTI and there was no reason of a CT scan. but obviously we still wanted one so we didn’t cancel it. i was fine the rest of the week. friday came and they told us they found a tumor in my cerebellum and that’s all the info they had. we got rushed to boston children’s and got another neuro test and a 3 1/2 hr MRI on my brain and spine (then my braces were on and they couldn’t read the scan so they took them off and i had to do it again lmao) not only did i have a tumor the size of a grape fruit but i also had encephalitis (inflation of the brain) which is almost more dangerous then the tumor. i was in the hospital for 11 days total. i had my surgery monday dec 11th but honestly i don’t remember much from that day. it was 14 hours long and it went really well!! they took out 80% of my tumor! recovery was hard. i had to relearn how to walk and i couldn’t move my neck because they cut through all my neck muscles. i was home in time for christmas and i went back to school on january 9th 2018!! i had my follow up app on january 11th and my tumors benign which i’m incredibly thankful for! it could have been so so bad and this was the best outcome we could have gotten! i have a genetic mutation called the braf v600e. the only treatment i had at the time was MRIs every 3 months. i’ve probably had my tumor since i was very young, it was very slow growing. about a year later we saw a little regrowth in my tumor so i started a very low dose of a chemotherapy thst usually used to treat melanoma but recently is being used to stop growth and hopefully shirk my tumor. (it won’t make me really sick and loose my hair because it’s such a small amount and also it’s a pill) i started thst last school year but then they warned us that it may cause me to be able to not have kids. so we stopped immediately and started the egg retrieval process. when thst was over i started my chemo again in like september of 2019. i’m gonna be honest, it’s been tough. they warned me about the side affects but i didn’t think anything of it until they were actually happening. i get sunburnt SUPER badly, my hair was thinning (it’s pretty much almost stopped now) i hsve a rash, my eyebrows are basically gone (they’re thinning too but i’m using a serum to help them grow) acne, fatigue, nausea, joint pain. and it’s really took a toll on my mental health, but the important part is i’m heathy. my tumor is stable and i’m heathy. this really sucked and tbh it still really sucks and it might suck for a while but i’m heathy and have an amazing support system and i’m so fortunate to have access to such great heath care. my heart goes out to anyone who’s gone though, going through, or will grow through anything like this or any other kind of heath scare at some point. i’m so so greatful for everyone who has been in my life the past 2 years. all of my doctors, my friends who are always there for me and most importantly my amazing family! also huge shoutout to my love taylor alison swift for being a constant in my happiness since 2008 but especially the past 2 years! i love u so much and i’m always gonna support and love u so so much nmw💓 im so incredibly lucky to be where i am today. it could be so much worse and i’m thankful everyday that it isn’t. i love all of u

this was 2 years ago today!

this was the day before my surgery (hi sabrina carpenter)

these were the week after my surgery. i had double vision so i had to wear an eyepatch for a few weeks

there’s me at christmas 2017 with my cousins looking rough but good for 2 1/2 weeks post op

but here’s me 2 years later!

if anyone is going through anything like this idc if we’re friends or not i’m here for all of u! 💓

also kinda just exposed myself with all the pics from 2017/18

thank u if u read all of this!

[zachnovak]

So I don’t normally log onto this account much so I haven’t seen any of the many messages and such I’ve been getting on recent posts concern some dumb drama. In a nut shell, some adults who act more like immature children from the Mean Girls universe love to make crap up and I was the current target as I.... was breathing? I dunno. Apparently I’m the anti christ or something and they haven’t gotten over that their attempts to cancel me and even cause me to commit acts of self harm with continued targeted harassment and involving me in drama I know nothing about have all failed. Frankly, it’s because I literally don’t give a shit. I come to tumblr to RP, make my posts, and then hop on my PS4, switch, class work, gym time whatever. I don’t care about drama or what’s going on in the RPC as I know it’s a shot show filled with drama and people trying gossip girl type ‘takedowns’ of others just for breathing in when they were suppose to breathe out.

Because of that crap I literally just sign on to in the RPs I’m in then close the tumble tab. I do not have a personal, I do not check out any tags other than for the face claims I use to get pics or gifs, and I go out of my way NOT to know anyone’s personal blogs or their aliases. If we talk on discord great, if not, great as well. I do occasionally make my own group and put my current one on hiatus as the recent drama turned me off but going to reopen it soon. I’ve just been part of a couple of groups since and currently. However, since some people are interested in my past here because of the nonsense, here we go.

I was on an RP called alegendreborn which was one of my first RPs on tumblr. It seemed great and welcoming. I picked one of their skeleton canons and was happy to be there. I got along with people but didn’t know how to reblog properly as I was new to tumblr and three way posts were extreme confusing. Apparently my inability to properly reblog them pissed off some of the members. Because of that I only really talked to one person in the RP who helped me learn how to reblog correctly. Also, my character had a pre-established connection to another as a ‘best friend’ so we had a couple of threads. However, I quickly noticed the min of that character could go 3 weeks to months without posting but pass all activity checks and would focus on bubble RPing with the same three muns. When this person ignored our thread for weeks I sent them three messages four days apart each that reminded them of the thread which I was told they’d post. On the last message I told this person I was ending our thread and requesting that staff change my characters group in an event they were running as they put our characters in the same group and I no longer trusted this person to post in a timely manner to me. I was quickly ‘invited to leave’ and had multiple members message me on Skype to basically tell me I was shit and an awful person for trying to get a reply I’d been waiting 2 months to get. So I left and never looked back.

I later joined an RP called warofthenewage-rpg which again seemed friendly but much more basic lore wise than the previous RP. I quickly noticed a character who was almost EXACTLY like a skeleton canon I had on an RP I made on a jcink forums RP two years before. I messaged the player of that character asking if he knew of my RP he said he did but before I could presue anything he instantly wanted to plot my character with his. I did message the main about it but was later told they ‘never got it’. We plotted our character as a couple as the chemistry they were displaying in our first few threads was very apparent and we loved posting together and could pop out paragraphs of posts minutes after the other just posted. Eventually, that min begun to became very controlling of how and what I was posting. If my character had a thought of his that wasn’t postive or lovey, he’d berate the hell out of me on Skype and threaten to end our plot. Apparently he had also been complaining the his friends in the RP and told them I posted ‘too many actions’ and that it made him feel forced to react in specific ways. That telephoned to other members and morphed into I was forcing him to do exactly what I told him to post and poweplaying/god modding him. Now I come from forum RPs and there to post A LOT and you progress the thread with each post. This is done so you’re not 30 posts in and you’re characters are still at the door that one of them knocked on in the very first post.

Eventually, most members begun to refuse to speak to me because of the complaining he did which they’d snowball into some out of this world epic drama. The staff even begun to be hostile, use the gossip blog to belittle my character, and would pretend not to receive my applications when I tried for additional characters or my wanted ads but use the info to create a very similar character or ‘update’ an existing one. Well, about 2 months of members ignoring me or belittling me followed, staff made it worse and the mun I had a plot with decided to when not telling me I suck and no one liked me, he’d say we still had our plot but then took my character out of the equation and made another character take his place. Naturally I was upset as I had been through months of harassment, belittling, and treated like crap by everyone in the RP because of this guy only to in the end be thrown away. I resolved to move my character on. I only spoke to him and two other people in the RP and one of them had a character that was insanely into my character. However, the guy I had the plot with was insanely sexually attracted to the face claim so when my character and this new one had threads, he tried to tell the RP and even the other mun that I was forcing them into posting and into smutting which was engaged by the other person in one of our threads. I was harassed by that guy for days until I dropped that plot and basically used a ‘reset’ option for my character. However, that pissed off the guy and I again was relentlessly attacked by him on Skype. After months of the members ignoring me for (to my knowledge, no reason as I never spoke with 98% of the RP) or insulting me and out right telling me to kill myself, an attempt was made and I was effectively gone for almost two months for recovery.

Almost a year later I came back and begun to remake my old jcink RP here on tumblr. It took me about 5 months to do and I dug up codes from codepen and codrops to use in the theme. I also copied the aesthetic from the jcink RP’s theme and brought it over. The RP was very popular and seen as one of the best designed and story driven ‘mutant’ type RPs around. However, an admin from another RP became very bitter at it and me. This admin ran an RPH and had their own RP in the same genre in the past. They were revamping it and noticed our RPs had a similar aesthetic, apparently monchromatic themes AKA a them that uses shades of white, grey, and black for most of its coloring was only allowed to be used by that admin. The admin attacked my RP and claimed I had stolen their theme and coding and even went so far as going into my coding and pasting selective bits of it. I was asleep when she made the original post and woke up to dozens of anon messages ranging from calling me a thief to demanding I kill myself. All my members were harassed in the same way and she had contacted all the RPHs I had asked for a shoutout or was on their spotlights of to ‘inform them’ and then openly attack them if they didn’t remove any mention of my RP and signal boost her post. She even went so far as to harass and threaten RPs I was on, that I was one, or that had a character that sounded anything like any of mine. I even had an affiliation thing started but many of those I had been added to messaged me that they were being harassed and I told them to pretend they didn’t know what was going on. I’d take the hit for them and spare them farther harassment and leave their RPs if they wanted as I was on most of them.

During this time I was recovering from everything I was being slammed with be anons and the RPs previously mentioned going off as well in some pity attempt to get revenge for... not being liked on their RPs three and two years previously? I also was collecting evidence that many of the codes this RPH claimed she made and in stole were in fact on codrops and codepen. A good amount I made myself but a large chunk were from these resource sites with some heavy edits so they’d work better on tumblr. I even had evidence that many of her own coding templates had codes directly from these sites and others with no credit given to them and her claiming she created all the coding on her own. I submitted it to many RPHs and many of them saw the error and how this person was very toxic in the community and was making more drama than helping it. Some ignored it outright as she was popular and I was just a nobody. It took 3 years to recover from it in terms of my reputation and I again shut down my RP for a bit as I had made another attempt on my own life as that person and her friends continued to harass me and attack me on their personal or RPH accounts.

The last bit of drama came when I joined an RP called Corinth Bay. At first there wasn’t any and I had long since adopted my, sign on just to post and then bounce method of being on an RP. I eventually got to know one member named Shane. @inthenamexofthemoon I think we became pretty good friends as we talked everyday for basically the whole day. We had plots, enjoyed posting, and just chatting. I noticed that RP was heavily cliquey and wasn’t aware that Shane was a part of the admin’s clique. This group had multiple issues with member complaining their characters were being ignored and people were bubble RPing with the same people over and over. I myself had to constantly ask people if they wanted to plot or just post and even the main had to post up announcement about ignoring starters to make closed ones and expanding who they post with. I also had questions on much of the lore of the RP as other than the origins of each supernatural species, the lore was very generic and vague. I asked around and got a lot of different opinions on what could or couldn’t be done by each species and just went with what was common among them all. Shane himself helped me a bit and I went with his suggestions which apparently were completely wrong as the staff had to talk to me on ‘breaking lore’.

After that, I expressed openly how I felt the staff didn’t like me and my concern that given how cliquey the place was, if the staff didn’t like me I’d probably be ‘exiled’ from the group as a whole AKA no one would post or talk to me. Which did happen with the exception of Shane. Others I had spoken to had long left and told me stories of the awfulness of some of the members and staff. So I begun working on an RP of the same genre that I had half finished years before. Shane was kept in the loop every step of the way and pinned and loved all the lore I showed him which I did to ensure it was both in-depth and easy to follow but also wasn’t ‘bad’ IE, offensive if certain things are mentioned. He loved it and ensured me it was great and pinned everything I showed him so he’d reference it when making his characters. Eventually I worked on it so much that I kept only the bare minimum activity requirements for Corinth Bay but obeyed the rules of activity to the letter. However, the staff ultimately removed me despite even admitting that they knew I still had a couple of days before failing the activity check and had actually ‘not counted’ a couple of posts I made for an event going on as I should have replied to starters for it first but it wasn’t a requirement. Also they used a blog to post up starters as many RPs like to do now only they were also slow to reblog them and never used the starter tags so they’d get buried quickly on the dash with everyone posting picture posts and what not.

Ultimately I gave up on that RP, didn’t need the toxic environment and finished mine. Shane got very quiet though and didn’t reply to my discord messages for a couple of days. When he did he suddenly got a bit hostile and everything in my RP WAS ‘problematic’ and because of that he wouldn’t be joining. I had no idea what he meant as before he said it was perfect and awesome so I asked what he meant specifically. Eveutally he told me a little of what he meant. Apparently there was racism as In the witch’s page mentioning that voodoo and other cultural magical/practices was a form of magic some witches practiced was both racist and cultural appropriation. Although voodoo was indeed a magical/belief practice used as a magical practice I decided to just remove its mention in the end. He also didn’t like that in the lore, there were female characters that were ‘bad’ and that was sexist. This I choose not to change as it’s sexist to say women can’t be villains and felt as just an excuse. Especially since my lore included many powerful women, men, and gender less entities that were villains, heroes, and neutral parties.

Eventually after opening, I decided to message the people I had previous posted with telling them the RP was ready and I’d love for them to check it out. Those from Corinth Bay I messaged were either aware I was making one and wanted to see it or were people Shane and I hinted to it being made and they had at least a slight interest in it. Admittedly, I also messaged blogs that came on the ‘recommended blogs’ part of the dash. Only those that were inactive according to the last few IC posts that were showing in their blogs. I know this gets a mixed reaction from some as some view it as a horrible thing even if the blogs are inactive but many MANY people also appriecate it and the fact that someone read their blog and was very impressed with their writing ability and character. I myself receive many of these messages on my retired blogs and don’t see an issue with it myself. Even if I did I’d just block the blog that sent it and never think of them again like a normal person.

One of the members I DIDN’T even know who they were apparently didn’t like this and decided to make drama over it. To this day I don’t know who this person even is or was when I was on that RP and still don’t as everyone drops and makes new characters when bored on there. Shane went fully 180 on me and turned vile and petty which is clearly to save face with the people on that RP. He knows me from all our talks and that the bullshit he spreads is itself false but still was a bit of a pity bitch for a while. Apparently the friend @stephwuzhere @loganlcrmans of the admin that tried to cancel me also wanted to rehash that old drama but was quickly shut down. I had no idea who this person even was at first as again, I don’t follow any tags and go out of my way to avoid personal blogs and ones like RPH, RPT, and whatever unless just asking for a quick shoutout to my RP. I had no idea that this person was also very toxic and involved in targeted harassment, grooming, and identity theft of various people in the RPC just because she didn’t like them at the moment.

I have decided to stay away from this shit storm despite some of these people still trying to drag me into it even though I literally haven’t thought about them for months and barely even remember they exist. I’ll be reopening my RP soon and hope that these people who live their privlenged lives will eventually get over themselves and do some growing up. I say their are privileged because you must be if you can harp on drama for months and keep dragging someone you have no connection or knowledge of. The rest of us, adults, have things like work, bills, school, friends, and trying to destress from watching our bank account get more and more empty to care about pity immature online drama. Especially when it’s bullshit like ‘he dared to remind me he exists’. Please, grow up and do better people. There is life outside of the internet and when you get too old to be in the RPC which is apparently a thing now, you’ll see just how stupid you were to make so much drama for no reason other than being pity, stupid, immature, brats.