#shoutout to my friend who told me to add the flame

[pantwolf]

Healing is great, and I'm making good progress

But old bones get dug up.

I'm remembering things that I locked away

Things safer to ignore.

I feel old wounds opening up, scars dissolve

So new flesh can grow.

Emotional neglect, a little here, a little there

A timer of sand.

I'm not the victim of a major crime, my cuts are small

But many makes mighty.

Each grain finds their friends against the wind

Making a mighty shifting dune.

Sometimes I feel trapped trapped by society

And me.

I feel like the last of my kind - alone

Extinct.

Even in the company of kin, I feel alien

Incomplete.

But running kept me alive and going

A sprint on all fours.

Filled my time with work and school

Ignored the flame in my soul.

I was lost in the woods. No luminous moon glow.

But it turns out I wasn't alone.

In the end, I found my pack.

And they found me.

Our old new wounds will close

And we will be free.

Now we howl and play in Moon's soft glow,

And my heart beats with renewed fervor.

Yet I mourn the life I thought I had,

How could a pup have known any better?

"Healing"

- Felix

(Commentary under the cut)

This is about trauma, healing, and found family. Werewolves, nature, and instinct. Autism, ADHD, and unmasking.

And journies.

I have spent a very long time under the haze of dissociation, I think. I'm coming to realize that I haven't been able to actually address some of the traumatic events in my life, because they were small (but consistent) patterns, instead of a single, obvious tragedy. More importantly, they were normal. I didn't know I was hiding my fears, shame, and sadness.

I was a bullied kid. I was an outcast; I felt like there were miles between my peers and I (shoutout to my childhood friends, y'all were the Real Ones). I don't think I was actually despised by my peers, but the bullying did its job; I assumed I wasn't welcome, so I kept myself small.

My dad had cancer since I was 6, on and off for 20 years. Thankfully, it was a mildly-aggressive and very treatable cancer. It was just the background radiation of our family until COVID got him in 2020. He was as old as my peers' grandparents. Add in the chemo, and he was always tired and dozing off. But he never complained about feeling sick.

With that radiation (the radiation metaphor has like 3 levels at this point), my parents relationship strained. I was kept awake many nights by my mom yelling at my dad, them fighting about something. My mom made it sound like he was abusive or neglectful, and that he didn't treat her right. I believed her. I mostly remember my dad as detached and emotionally distant, uninvolved. One time, I told my mom that I felt like dad didn't love me. I'm sure she used that as ammo to try to get him to Step Up or Be Better or something. Either way, you can only really deliver a bullet with a gun. If she did tell him that at some point, I'm sure it killed him on the spot. I really wanted to rebuild a relationship with him. I never got the chance.

Fast forward to today, and I have little to no sense of identity. I'm in my third try at college, the first two were nonstarters. I work retail, all I've ever known. I feel lost and stuck. I don't feel welcome in the common culture.

But im starting to open my eyes. I'm starting to feel again. I'm becoming more confident, I feel better, I'm expressing myself, and I feel like I actually have agency to become who I want to be. I've been in a dark tunnel for so long that I forgot what it was like to be content and happy.

If you, dear reader, take away anything from this poem and my tale, let it be that it will get better.

[mrkgrl]

Is it too early to hand out Teen Wolf movie stickers or---

Edit; I changed "boyfriend" to their names instead (I think the complicated feelings part makes more sense then tbh!)

[myelocin]

here, i’ll forgive my thoughts | kuroo tetsurou.

synopsis: what love once was, and what it now is. 

genre/warnings: hurt/comfort, post break-up, (mentions of past cheating)

a/n: shoutout to my ex for this content. u will never be as good looking as kuroo but u do give me some good content to write ab. (thumbs up)

ko-fi | commissions

“in case you wanted to know,” you start. “i feel okay.”

“do you, though?” tetsurou asks, his eyes on you. they’re golden, like he is, (as always.)

in flashes, you see what love used to be defined as. summers holding sunsets, and clarity despite hazy eyes. cherry flavored ring pops, dairy queen runs, and his navy blue jacket that always smells more like his conditioner than his shampoo. 

ollie murs’ please never fall in love again, where he’d hum the chorus instead of sing it out loud, because he used to say that the please was as if he didn’t have the certainty of your love just yet. 

truth is, tetsurou always had you. your love, your truth, your vulnerability, your certainty. he had a bottle of your perfume, happy, inside the second drawer of the cabinet in front of his bed, and a pack of hair ties that weren’t too thin because he knows it’s the kind you prefer. 

(preferred.)

you keep your hair down now, and it’s grown more than just a few inches past your shoulders. 

“if i break your heart again,” he prompts, inching closer. (you feel okay.) “would you forgive me?” he asks, then adds, “again?”

“i never forgave you for it in the first place,” you say, giving him the very core of what had always been your truth. 

he blanks. “then why are you here?”

“because i’m your friend,” you answer.

“i don’t have your forgiveness, though,” he responds, voice like he means to ask his question. 

in return, you nod your head. “as a lover you don’t, but as a friend you did no wrong.”

“so that’s just what we are now?” he blinks.

you stare at him, feeling okay. “what else can we be?”

he stares at you, in fondness for the sake of love or for nostalgia—you can’t tell. “we were everything. maybe we can be that again.”

so you stare at him back, the scars of your past hurt being the only traces of what you were shown on your face. “you cheated on me.”

“i’m sorry,” he responds, automatic. it’s always been funny to you how an apology was the next to immediate response a person would say even before letting the sin settle in their head. 

you watch him shift in his seat, before he clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “do you think a day will come where i’m forgiven?”

in response to that, you shrug. uncertainty had always been a double edged sword, but you suppose that for now, it worked in your favor. “i don’t think about it anymore, honestly.”

you pause, shifting in your seat, the words in your mouth just hanging there, before you eventually just say it. “you’re a different person when you’re angry, tetsu.”

tetsurou watches you, where your eyes trail from the walls then to him, and he knows you’re too far out of his reach. there’s a peace in your eyes, and the absence of a weight heaved on your shoulders. you smile the same, like you’re in love, and he supposes you are.

when you look at him, you stare like he’s just a friend, and not the sinner who warped your idea of what trust means.

“i think when something happens like that,” he hears you say. “a person doesn’t blame the cheater first.”

tetsurou stays quiet, but feels a lump in his throat.

in return, you continue, “we blame ourselves first, tetsu.”

you stare back at him, with fond eyes like you’re telling a story. you cross one leg up and over the other, and face him with your chin propped up on your palms. “it’s a shitty thing too,” you laugh. “i stared at the mirror and picked apart everything you told me you found beautiful and questioned it.”

tetsurou scrunches his brows, troubled. “you are—“

“i don’t need your affirmations,” you say, cutting him off. your voice is soft, and he finds that he hates it. there’s an absence of rage from your end that he finds hard to swallow, and it’s right there— where it dawns on him that you’re really not here with him anymore.

“--anymore,” you add, your voice like the finale he just realizes he isn’t ready for just yet. 

(then it’s pain, redefined.)

(pain looks like watching the fires around your heart dwindle down into flames that do nothing but light candles at best.)

“i’m still sorry,” he says.

“i know you are, but i don’t know if i forgive you, because the part of myself that had loved you was angry the last time i was her, and before i could forgive you—i forgave me.”

there’s silence, and like the silence that settled before, it’s you who shoos it away.

“i forgave my thoughts that it was all my fault. i forgave myself for loving myself too inadequately that i thought i needed you to be a piece to fill that love.”

“tetsu, as this, as friends, we’re okay. but i don’t know if i can ever forgive you, as what we were because i let the anger of the someone who had been in love go before she could answer anything about you.”

“i still love you,” he confesses, and you stare, unfazed.

but because there’s no anger left, with a soft voice, you say, “i loved you.”

(tetsurou stares, forgetting that even if the flames don’t flicker with the intention to rage—fire still had the intention to at least burn.)

[sourcherrybomb]

SoKai Week 2020 - Day 1 - Paopu Surprise!

Synopsis: Sora and Kairi decide to take a breather and share a Paopu Fruit with each other. However, Sora finds himself in for an unwelcome surprise when he finally bites into one... 

Sneak Peek: Sora could only imagine the dumb look on his face. This was not going the way he imagined it. Kairi had seriously beaten him to the punch?

Tags: Romance, Comedy, All Ages, F/M

Prompt for the Day: One Heart / Paopu Fruit

Words: 1.4k

Fanart By: asgardianartist (Fiverr / Instagram)

Native to the Destiny Islands is a particularly peculiar fruit in the shape of a star. Trinkets made in its image are seen as good luck charms and are even known to people who have never stepped foot on the world. But to the residents of the Destiny Islands, the paopu fruit means so much more than just simple ‘good luck’.

If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They’ll remain a part of each other’s lives no matter what.

All that time ago, before their adventures and misadventures, these were the words Riku told Sora. At the time, he got flustered when his friend teased him at the idea of sharing one with Kairi. However, it’s not as though Sora had completely dismissed the idea; the day right after in their secret place, in between the space of a rough drawing of he and Kairi, Sora secretly drew a hand giving her the fruit.

It wasn’t until Sora, Donald, and Goofy defeated Ansem the Seeker of Darkness that Kairi would find out. 

Not long after the Destiny Islands were restored, Kairi found herself in the secret place. Reminiscing while looking at the myriad drawings of various quality, she stumbled upon Sora’s addition to the drawing of them. After letting a tear fall out of her eye, Kairi herself adds to the sketch her own arm extended towards Sora, paopu fruit in hand.

It’s been more than a year since those events first transpired. Sora, Kairi, and Riku are now back home on the islands before their ultimate battle. 

Sora and Kairi, bathed in the twilight of the setting sun, sit on a paopu tree while passing the time away. Riku rests himself directly on the beach below them.

Sora, noticing his friend, asks Kairi, “Hey, why’s Riku all alone?”

“He said he needed time to himself,” she notes. “Let’s let him be.”

As Sora sits distracted by his silver-haired friend staring into the sunset-lit ocean, Kairi silently strengthens her resolve. She was going to share this paopu fruit with Sora, and nothing, not even the looming thought of Riku teasing them without end after the fact. And plus, it’s not as though Sora would be against sharing it with her. There’s that drawing of them, the race he and Riku did, as well as all the things he did for her during their first adventure together. With a battle to the death at their doorstep, now would be the best time to share any thoughts or emotions that have been lingering around…

But what if Sora is just being nice?

No! Kairi thinks to herself. She knows that Sora is basically a paragon of kindness who can be a bit of a dolt sometimes… Okay, many times, but even he should be aware of what repeated acts of kindness and/or heroism do to a person!

Before Kairi goes through an entire internal debate in the span of seconds, her arm subconsciously moves towards a paopu fruit she may have secretly left there when no one was looking. Although now that she thinks about it, Riku did stop by here before heading down to the beach. He did have this smug grin on his face as he passed by the two of them...

As more and more thoughts rush through her mind, Kairi’s hand has already brought the paopu fruit in front of Sora. 

“Here!” she says. 

“Huh?” 

Sora could only imagine the dumb look on his face. This was not going the way he imagined it. Kairi had seriously beaten him to the punch? The whole reason he wanted to bring her here was so he could be the one to hand her the fruit! Now his whole plan has basically gone up into flames and can’t even bring out any words besides a simple “Huh?"

As Sora mentally reprimands himself, Kairi silently chides herself for basically shoving the fruit in his face and not coming up with a smoother way of handing it to him. 

“Tomorrow’s fight will be our toughest yet,” Kairi says as she softly smiles. “I want to be a part of your life no matter what. That’s all.”

Sora, who at this moment currently is still in panic mode due to his botched plan, can only take the paopu fruit in hand.

Wait, Sora thinks as he looks up and smiles at Kairi. I might be able to salvage this.

“Kairi, I’ll keep you safe,” he tells her.

Not to be outdone, Kairi shakes her head. “Let me keep you safe.”

Raising the fruits to each other's mouths, Sora and Kairi each take a bite from the paopu fruits. 

If only this moment could last forever, Kairi thinks as she stares into Sora’s eyes.

Oh my gosh, this tastes horrible, Sora thinks as he does his best to hide his disgust. 

The young man has never tried the fruit before today, but he expected it to taste way better than the overly saccharine mouthful he got. To Sora, it tasted like someone had used a shovel to feed him a mouthful of sugar, or maybe like drowning in Pooh’s coveted honey! As much as he wanted to swallow the fruit and get it over with, the taste was preventing him letting it pass through his mouth.

Just power through it, pretty sure the legend only says I need to take a bit out of it, not eat the whole thing, Sora continues to think to himself. Ohhhh man, I really hope Kairi doesn’t make me eat more of this.

So are we supposed to eat more of this? Kairi thinks to herself. Honestly, the legend is pretty vague. Like, are we supposed to share one or feed each other one… Legends need to be worded better. 

As she goes for another bite of the fruit, Kairi can’t help but notice Sora’s face. Is it… twitching?

“Hey Sora, you okay?” she asks. “Can’t help but notice you haven’t gone for another bite…”

Oh crud.

“Yeah, totally!” Sora says, his mouth muffled by the sickeningly sweet fruit. “Just sav-ughh… Savoring the taste!”

“Hmmm…” Kairi raises an eyebrow. “Sora, would you mind swallowing what’s in your mouth right now?”

A look of terror flashes in Sora’s eyes.

“Sorrystillchewingonthisbite,” he says in a rush. 

Covering her mouth, Kairi mischievously grins. “Oh, is that so? Well, with the way you’re talking, I think I notice room for one… more… BITE!”

Before Sora could even react, Kairi shoves her paopu fruit into his mouth faster than one could say “Sora, Donald, and Goofy.” Sora, disoriented by the vicious sneak attack, falls over and swallows the excess fruit in his mouth alongside the chewed up slop that was being kept in his cheeks. As he writhes around on the ground, not from choking, but rather the fruit’s taste, Kairi begins to laugh harder and harder until she falls from the tree they were sitting on as well.

Down on the beach, Riku and his Replica nod at each other as they silently judge Sora and Kairi making a fool of themselves, casually forgetting the small audience just a couple yards away from them.

As Sora spits out the Paopu Fruit from his mouth, Kairi somehow begins to laugh even harder at the ironically sour face on his mug.

“Oh ha ha, very funny!” Sora complains. “Next thing we know, we wouldn’t have an issue rescuing Roxas since I would’ve bitten the dust anyways!”

“And I suppose me... dying of laughter would have… woulda brought back Namine in the process as well, huh?” Kairi asks in between heavy breaths.

Soon enough, Sora stops pouting, Kairi’s breathing becomes more relaxed, and the two of them start to quietly giggle.

As the fiery sunset fades away into a cool starlit night, Riku quietly leaves the island, leaving Sora and Kairi to their own devices.

The two continued to lie on the ground, staring into the night sky, stargazing like the two would always do when they were younger. Normally, Sora would be telling Kairi stories about the stars and various constellations. However, tonight the only sounds a person could hear would be the ocean waves washing up onto the shore.

Occasionally they would turn their heads and lock eyes with each other. Both had so many things to say to one another, but it was like no amount of words in the world could be used to convey their feelings and emotions.

However, neither person saw this as a problem. Whenever Sora or Kairi had something to say, but didn’t have the words, they would just tighten their grip on the other’s hand.

---

Hello there, the name’s SourCherryBomb and this little oneshot is the start of a return to form for me. I’ve written under a different name years before, but I’ve decided to wipe the slate clean. It’s for many reasons, the main one being that I cringe when I look at my old works. That’s just growth, I guess.

Shoutout to the Sokai: Destined Oath Discord server for introducing me to the SoKai Week 2020 Event and an even louder one to @paintedwithapalette​ for being my Beta Reader! Check her out, you’ll love her fics.

Thanks for Reading!

[innaminitus]

The one with veritaserum

About the series: What are you about to read is a series in a sitcom manner. This means the chapters are going to be only briefly connected to each other and you don’t have to read them all (you can start in the middle if you want and you should still be able understand what’s going on). Just as in sitcoms majority of the stories will have the beginning and the end (something like oneshots). Think of it as if you were watching Friends that I copied the title from.

AU: Hogwarts  

Pairing: Various (for now: Loki x Reader, Tony Stark x Reader)

Chapter summary: Steve has a major problem and you are more than wiling to help him solve it. 

Chapter warninigs: language

Chapter word count: 2458

A/N: As always I will publish the next part when this one hits at least 100 notes. (shoutout to the people who are reblogging or commenting these a few times just for the sole purpose of it gaining the notes lol, I can see you all)

I want you to create this series with me! Got any idea what could happen to our pals? Let me know! Let’s make this as awesome as we can, together! 

Tag list is open. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU’RE ASKING FOR A TAG IN THE COMMENTS OF THE MOST RECENT PART OR THROUGH ASK/PRIVATE MESSAGES (and that your blog is set on visible or I won’t be able to tag you)

Despite the cold you were sitting under the tree near the Great Lake, keeping yourself warm with a blue flame in a jar. Tony’s head was resting on your thighs, he was flicking through pages of an old charms book, searching for a spell fitting for a little metal man he’s built a few days earlier.

You looked at him over your potions textbook when he shouted “Ha!” and flicked his wand. The metal man made a screeching sound and moved; his palms turned to the ground and a beam of light shot from them, lifting the man up.

“Finally something worked,” Tony said and looked at you, adjusting his glasses. “What do you think?”

“It’s funny,” you laughed when the man swirled in air. “But I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“It is,” he chuckled and sat up. “But I am not going to tell anyone about it. Are you?”

You pretended to consider it.

“Maybe I won’t… But you have to convince me not to.”

He gently pulled your scarf.

“Well, as you know, I am a very good at convincing-“

Just as his lips were about to touch yours, you heard someone approach you. You turned your head at the shadow and smiled when you saw Steve awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“Hey, Stevie,” you unwittingly used the nickname you picked up from Bucky when you and Steve dated, and it caused Tony to raise a brow at you. “Do you need something?”

“I was hoping we could talk,” he said, avoiding your sight.

You and Steve didn’t talk much since your break up, mainly because of how unpleasant it was. That’s why you stood up without a word, squeezing Tony’s hand calmingly and promising to come back soon. If Steve wanted to talk to you in private, it must’ve been serious. After all, he would always talk to Bucky before consulting anyone else.

You walked to the shore of the lake and squatted, putting your hand into the cold water to encourage the squid to come up. When a big, purple tentacle dived from under the water, sprinkling you and Steve with droplets, he squatted next to you.

“So what do you want to talk about?” You asked, reaching to the tentacle and avoiding the suckers while tickling it.

“I- You remember when we broke up, I said something about us not being a match.” When you nodded, he continued. “It was because… I kind of… Cheated on you?”

“Is that a question?” You turned from the tentacle and looked at Steve, suddenly slightly offended.

“Sorry… Watch the tentacle… And after that I realized I can’t be in love with you,” the words were escaping his lips as if they were causing him physical pain.

“So you wanted to be with the other girl? Why are you saying it to me now?”

He took a deep breath.

“Because it wasn’t a girl.”

“What?” You gasped, at the same moment when the squid’s sucker attached to your forearm painfully.

“Shit, I told you to look out!” Steve shouted and jumped to you, trying to get the tentacle off of you.

“Oy! What’s going on there?!” You heard Tony shout from the distance and you quickly let him know everything was fine.

To say that you were shocked was an understatement. Steve was always surrounded by girls.

“Alright, so, just to make everything clear.” You looked at your arm with a giant hickey on it. “You cheated on me with a boy?” He took a deep breath and nodded. “Who?”

He was so uncomfortable it almost made you feel bad, but it was too late for you not to dig further. He was the one who wanted to talk, after all.

“Bucky…”

“You’ve slept with Bucky?!”

“If you’ll be any louder they will hear you in Hogsmeade!” He hissed. “And I haven’t slept with him, it was just a kiss, but… It was the kiss, do you get me? Like the one when you just know it’s the right person.”

“You mean the one we’ve never had?” You tried to joke, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood. “Alright. You kissed Bucky. What’s next?”

“That’s where my problem is. Nothing,” he sighed. “I’m… just… Hopelessly in love with him.”

You washed your hands in the lake, getting rid of the squid’s slime, trying to get your thoughts together.

Steve just admitted your relationship could never work out, because he was gay and in love with his best friend.

When the first shock passed, it actually made sense. Steve never dated any girl after you, and it definitely wasn’t because none of them was interested in him; once he and a few of his friends mixed different potions along with butterbeer and made him drink it, Steve was hot enough to set fire in any girls’ pants.

“So why don’t you confess to him? He kissed you, too, didn’t he?” You asked, aware that it was probably the worst advice in the world.

“He did, but we were drunk, it couldn’t’ve been sincere.”

Seeing Steve so hopeless made your heart twitch. Not because you still had feelings for him, but because he was always so good and honest, and him being hurt seemed absolutely unfair.

“I know what we’re gonna do.” You suddenly smiled madly. “But you have to host a party.”

*

It was Saturday, close to midnight when you sneaked out of the dormitory and, without shoes to make as little sound as possible, run through the dungeons to Snape’s storage room. Your heart pounded like crazy, but you were determined to help a friend in need. Even if it was a little illegal and could cost you a whole lot of house points.

When you reached the narrow, wooden door, you pulled your wand and pointed it at the lock. “Alohomora,” you whispered and smiled widely when the lock clicked and the door opened. You entered the storage and closed the door shut behind you. “Lumos.” Subtle light let you read the labels on countless bottles, jars, packages and boxes, mounting on the shelves. You let out a gasp. There was no way you would find the elixir you were looking for anywhere in this century. You decided to try your luck and raised your wand. “Accio veritaserum.” To your surprise a little, blue bottle fell from the shelf and hit your head. You grasped it just before it shattered on the floor. Neat, simple handwriting told you that it was indeed what you were looking for.

You slid it into the pocket of your heavy jumper and sneaked out of the storage, closing the door shut behind you. Adrenaline still rushed in your veins as you used a secret passage behind a tapestry and after a few steps and turns found yourself on the fifth floor. You reached the fourth armour and tickled a chipped brick next to it. The bricks moved, showing a wooden door.

“Can you open, please?” You asked politely, wrapping your fingers around the knob and smiling slightly when the lock let go.

As you walked to the party and the new song of Spellbound sounded form the radio, Steve almost run to you, trying to look as normal as possible.

“Do you have it?” He asked, just as excited as nervous.

“Of course I do.” You smiled cheekily and took the bottle out of your pocket.

Steve dragged you to the table with alcohols, quickly grabbing a cup and firewhiskey. He mixed it with pumpkin juice before handing it to you.

“Add it…”

You opened the bottle and poured a few drops into the drink.

“Do you think that’s enough?” You asked, wrinkling your nose and after a second thought adding a few more drops. “Alright. I’ll go talk to him first to check the ground and then you will take care of the rest, right?”

“Right.”

You saw the door opening and froze when you saw Nat and Loki entering the classroom. You haven’t talked to Loki since your fight and even though your heart was breaking, you were too proud to talk to him first. You wanted to clear things up, he made them even messier.

You turned your head from him at the same time he looked at you, took the drink and went searching for Bucky. You found him near the radio, looking through songs.

“Hey, Buck,” you greeted him with a smile, bumping your arm onto his.

He smiled back.

“How are you, Y/N?” He changed the music to the Wicked Sisters.

“Fine, fine… I made myself a drink, but it’s too strong for me.” You showed him your cup with heavy beating heart. “Maybe you want it? I only took a sip.”

He leaned on the table and shrugged.

“Sure, why not.” He took the cup, but didn’t drink.

“So, umm… And how’s it going with you?” You asked, desperately trying to keep the conversation going until he drinks the elixir.

“You know, it’s going. I’m a little sore after today’s Quidditch practice.” He massaged his shoulder, as if to prove it to you.

“Well, then, drink up! Nothing better to relax than firewhiskey,” you laughed, hopefully not nervously, but he chuckled with you.

“You’re probably right.”

The moment he put the cup to his lips was probably the longest one you’ve ever experienced, but at last you saw him take a big gulp.

“Firewhiskey and pumpkin juice is my favourite,” he said and wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “I didn’t know you like it, too.”

“Yeah, well, actually Stevie made it for me.” Your voice was tense. How would you know if veritaserum worked?

“Nah, I don’t like it when you call him Stevie, that’s only for me to use.” He shook his head and after a second raised an eyebrow, as if not exactly believing he said it out loud.

So it worked! Your stomach jumped with excitement.

“I won’t call him that if it’s bothering you,” you said politely and he murmured something that sounded like ‘it does’. “Talking about Steve…” You lowered your voice. “I’ve heard you two kissed when he was still dating me.”

Bucky looked at you with guilt in his eyes and took another gulp.

“Yeah, sorry for that. We were drunk-“

“Do you feel something for Steve? I mean more than friendship?” You tried your luck and was hoping you haven’t used your daily package of it.

Bucky seemed to be fighting himself, not wanting to say something, but eventually the veritaserum was stronger than his free will. You almost felt guilty.

“I think I actually might.” He looked as if he was himself surprised. “Why are you asking such questions?”

“Curiosity.” You shrugged, trying to hide your excitement. “If you do, I think you should tell him so.”

You had to tell Steve, the situation was perfect.

“You know what? Maybe I will…” He slowly nodded and gave you back the drink.

“Go get him!” You shouted after Bucky as he went looking for Steve.

Grinning, you waved to Tony who just entered the party along with Thor and Clint, and wanted to approach you when he saw you, but Thor dragged him to the alcohol table. You pushed yourself off the desk you were leaning on and bumped onto somebody, spilling a bit of the drink.

“Sorry…” You murmured and looked at the person, although it would be probably better if you didn’t.

Loki was wrinkling his nose.

“You’re drinking firewhiskey now?” He wiped it from his sleeve.

“Why do you care?” You spat out. “And it’s with pumpkin juice.”

He snapped the cup from your hand and smelled it.

“Smells weird.”

“Well, it tastes good.” You tried to take the cup back, but he was already trying to drink it. “Hey! That’s mine!” Nervously you grabbed it just as he was about to lean the cup.

Before you could think twice, with one big gulp you emptied it.

Stupid girl.

But that was better than Loki drinking veritaserum. You could control at least a bit of what you were saying if you knew you’ve drank it, right? And you weren’t feeling odd at all.

“Gods, you’re annoying,” he sighed and wanted to walk away, but you stopped him by grabbing his elbow. “What?”

You wanted to insult him. Curse, jinx, anything, but none of it was willing to spill down your tongue.

Because none of it was true or sincere.

“I don’t want us to fight,” you said silently, needing to get at least something off your chest.

“Shouldn’t have started it, then.” His voice was lowered as well, and even though he seemed to be blaming you for everything, he sounded blue.

“You started it. You pushed me away-“

“We’ve already talked about it and there was no good from it.”

“Can we just forget it, then? Start over?” You asked, not believing you were actually proposing such thing. Without veritaserum you would never force yourself to say it.

He just looked at you for a moment with disbelief.

“Y/N, do you really think I can forget it all?”

You shook your head. “No. But I think you can let it go.” You walked closer. “Please, Loki. We can work it out, I know it.”

“Can we?” He laughed unpleasantly. “You said you don’t need me. Why the change of heart?”

You clenched your teeth. If you could only hit him in his face.

“I lied. You know I did. Why are you making me say these things?”

He smiled again, this time cheekily.

“Because you’ve just drank veritaserum.”

The blood rushed to your cheeks, you felt as if you were to breathe fire and burn him to ashes. “You fucking-“ you couldn’t finish, so you weakly hit him in his chest. He just pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you. Whether you wanted it or not, you mirrored his moves. “How did you know?”

“Tony told Thor, Thor told Clint, he told Nat and Nat told me.” He murmured in your hair.

“So you’re okay with me dating Tony now?” You rested your chin on his chest to look at him.

“No. Very much not okay.” He shook his head. “But I need you, too, Y/N.”

You heard a grunting and turned.

“Am I interrupting?” Tony asked, his arms crossed.

“Yes,” you and Loki said in unison, making you very surprised.

This fucking veritaserum.

Loki stepped away and pushed you in Tony’s direction. You could see a glimpse of pain in his eyes.

“Very much not okay,” he said silently when Tony pulled you on the dancefloor, but your sight was still on Loki.

You couldn’t explain the aching of your heart.

___

Previous: The one with secrets

Next: The one with the duel

___

Tag list:  @lokislilslut @inlovewithmrstark @help-i-need-a-social-life@arcanethamin @nevaeh-potter15 @timetraveler1978@tanelle83@fuckythebuckybarnes @fashionlive15@tricksterwinchester@tvdplusriverdale @lovinnholland@fandomqueen74 @frenchfrostpudding @batmomphd@themusingsofmany @bwbatta @40sstuckys @imaginesxfandoms @daddyloki

[cafephan]

dan and phil play keep talking and nobody explodes: a summary

hoodie!phil i am immediately enthralled and this video isn't even a second in yet "you da bomb of our lives" they keep clothes fans give them which is nice shoutout to that lucky son of a gun 'philly' phil is insistent on everyone seeing speed supportive boyf dan has his back dan nudged phil's arm in a bro-esque manner they mentioned escape rooms finally i can relate as i have now been to one too "i think we're a lot nerdier than we think" why do they think we refer to them as nerds all the time "rest in peace environment" / "fuck you trees" "i'll punch you if you look at this" going to provide no context there have fun "DAD.... playing halo with me" nice save dan the wholesome howell blanket is always on hand "they'll see if we do a single glance..." how is dan going to go a whole extra seventeen minutes without glancing at phil i think he's going to implode they already did the tutorial but didn't show us yet phil can't remember the title of the game wow rip nerd!phil fic trope "this is going to be a mistake" "i can't speak if i'm under some kind of situation" mister english degree back again phil spinning dan around with those sweet sweet seconds of skin to skin contact (hand to arm) also lowkey hand porn look at his hands the curly hair and shaved sides from the side profile makes my heart warm sassy hand clicks from danny "beginnu" five seconds in i am already stressed for them why is this already the most intense video of this game i've ever seen i've watched like six different channels play it "there's, there's-" "no phil, i'm guiding you." someone likes to take control don't they during the wire puzzle you can slowly watch dan get more stressy look at his pursed lips and expressive strict hand gestures "there's an alien man with a triangle head and he's got a T coming out of his neck" their best friend mind meld really needs to come in handy here i'm still really enjoying dan's side profile i can't get over it "that's you selecting the module you dork" "guys we're nailing this" i was going to make the obvious joke but i won't we're classy here "shut up shut up SHUT UP" stressy dan is here to stay they did one wow who says youtube gamers can't game screw you comments "what everyone out there is thinking now is we need you to get the manual, phil" i think dan honey you just want to be in control again i know that was hard for you getting their last glances at each other in before they can't for at least five minutes opposite sides again why has this happened two videos after one another this is weird what is the post-baking video universe coming to "this is weird. now you're the person with the really bright face... wow it makes my hair look so much less white now that i'm here" "it makes my hair look grey... i promise i don't have grey hair" honey you're thirty years old it's going to happen inevitably sometime soon best to break us in gently i'm hyped for side profile phil dan quoting the marriage mantra of something old something new etc.... foreshadowing perhaps who knows with the way 2017 phan is going phil looks so confused he's like me facing every exam i've ever taken i've been cheated out of side profile phil ffs dan get your hands on him and spin him around i feel attacked "oh shit new stuff" literally everyone every few days when they upload a new gaming vid with no warning????? they know our struggle???? phil looks so focused i'm entranced "ayeeeeeeee" "oh god it's hurting my brain so much" stressy phil is a new experience but i'm digging it dan being the little shit he is just laughs all the time "stop freaking out!" stressy dan is still here despite having the opposite role they did two attempts and won them both wow they high fived yes for more skin to skin contact phil is reeeealllly making up for lost time by shamelessly staring at dan like seriously that was at least a solid six seconds of him staring oh and more glances i get it you're in love "kept calm under presh" more staring seriously phil are you aware the camera is still rolling "i hate to alarm you phil but what is your catchphrase on this gaming channel?" *awkward silence whilst phil realises he's being spoken to thus has to tear his gaze away* "ALL OR NOTHING" *resumes staring* seriously what is with him today subtlety ain't in his vocabulary p h i l i get it you're in love oh now dan's at it dan just got super close to the camera and did that creepy smile he has i was unnerved "i'm frickin terrified as diddly heck" they're back on their own sides balance in the universe has been destroyed do you reckon they're as insistent about which side of the bed they sleep on side profile dan is back welcome back old friend i missed you i thought he dabbed for a second but it's okay he didn't they're determined as fuck but i can already see dan's stressing yep there's the hurry up hand gestures "i'm going to explode.... literally" because of the intensity or because he can't stare at phil i don't even know anymore u decide dan's eyes just got really really wide they were like bulging "is the button yellow?" "no it's blue i told you it's blue!" welcome back stressy phil i hope you had a nice break phil's little "ooh" is so cute i want it as my ringtone "we did it? oh christ" stressy dan is really coming out to play in this symbols puzzle isn't he phil's expressive hand gestures aka he's beginning to panic too dan's doing some kind of gang sign okay boy you do you aaaaand there's the deafening dan scream for this video i can't believe we lasted a whole 17 minutes and 40 seconds without one rip headphone users it was nice knowing you stressy dan has never been more present phil is surprisingly calm(er) "dan come on" all of us all the time oooooh they couldn't last five minutes without a quick glance at one another could they jfc get a room they managed with three seconds to spare phil is giggly and dan is..... well, dan dramatic as ever my little actor that never was phil initiates skin to skin contact again why am i not surprised anymore "i was winding you up" dan says as he adds flames on top of himself in editing i am nodding furiously the camera pans back out and phil's hood is up who even is he "we could have died!" "but we didn't" *dan adds a halo above his head aka can't relate* "see if i worked in bomb disposal, i'd be cheeky like that" your colleagues would throw a bomb in bed with you "i'd be like ooh what's the timer steve???" the danxsteve fic coming atcha real soon dan's in an obnoxiously good mood now he has won a game and can freely stare at phil again "we could be bomb disposal experts" again expect the fic coming atcha real soon "what you just saw was two nerds that grew up playing puzzle games that have a psychic connection because they have no other friends defusing bombs" they literally said they go to escape rooms for their friends birthdays but alright i'll take the exclusivity they're considering coming back in hard mode YES I NEED THIS again i could have made the obvious joke there but i didn't let them know how you felt throughout that video type out long essays i dare you "subscribe if you're happy you didn't explode" "if you want to see us do that more challenging version where we might blow up... or not 'cause we're the best... disposers ever" "subscribe to us, have a good day, don't explode" the best advice comes in threes danisnotexploding AmazingBombDisposer