#should use this for a prompt generator game at some point

[neproxrezi]

everything wrong with elon musk's dogshit elden ring build

elon musk recently bought a blatantly boosted poe2 account and started trying to pretend he knew what he was talking about with it. while you could definitely in part put this down to... his general... everything... i think this was influenced by his elden ring build getting roasted a while back.

@luciferhimshelf has prompted me to go through his build and pick apart everything i see wrong, because while i think people get the general idea it's horrendous, i really want to go through it ALL

ALRIGHT. some of these are excusable first playthrough mistakes, and some of them are fucking baffling

he's in the mountaintops of the giants with 1009 hp. this is WAY less than you should have by this point. for anyone curious, i used a build calculator to check and he hasn't kept the debuff from hugging fia, which is a shame because it would have been very funny

he has 31 vigor, which governs your health. the general agreed end point for your build is 60 vigor, which bring you to 1900 hp. he also has a talisman equipped that gives you +5 vigor, endurance, strength and dex, MEANING HIS ACTUAL STAT IS 26 VIGOR. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE 26 VIGOR AT THIS POINT

the spirit summons are... strange. having three equipped at all times is a really odd decision. two of them, Skeletal Militia (1) and Banished Knight Oleg (3) are reasonable choices, though by this point you really could have replaced them with something better - especially skeletal militia. the middle one, Marionette Soldiers (2), is more odd, but it's not a shit-tier choice. the odd thing here really is that he has three summons in his hotbar and no healing flasks - which i assume are in the quick access. i'd love to see his split of hp and fp heals too, because of the next one...

38 mind is a really strangely high amount to have. you don't need this much, ever. the only reason you might need this much is if your only spellcasting staff is lusat's glintstone staff (which is the one he is using), because it makes all your spells more expensive in exchange for dealing more damage. this should not be the only staff he is using.

and i know it's the only one he uses because for some reason he seems to be equipping all his weapons at once. i actually did this on my first playthrough of a souls game so i can't trash talk this one that much but it is still really fucking strange, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS HEAVY ROLLING IN THIS IMAGE. WHY IS HE HEAVY ROLLING WITH THE +5 ENDURANCE TALISMAN EQUIPPED

the more things i point out, the more inevitable i feel my descent into madness will become

why does he have two shields

i can understand multiple weapons. i don't like it but i understand it. two shields makes no sense. you should never have two shields

"oh but lunne maybe he has two shields because one parries" both of his shields are uninfused, and their base ash of war is weapon skill.

there is no reason to have two shields equipped.

i'm going to try and push past the fact he has two shields equipped, and move onto the weapons and spells

the weapons themselves are reasonable choices - rogier's rapier is a free weapon pre upgraded with a nice ash of war, and moonveil is a very powerful weapon and he has an intelligence build. this makes sense.

however, i would be an idiot if i did not point out that the reason elon musk is running an intelligence build, is absolutely 100% without a doubt because he thinks he is intelligent.

68 (62+6 from the helmet) is an odd choice - there is a spell that requires this amount, however i am not convinced he was smart enough to find it. if i had to guess, i would say he is probably just working toward 99

with this in mind, i looked at his spell choices. i can make out that he is running zamor ice storm, night comet, magic glintblade, comet, and loretta's greatbow. (i found out there is a wider crop of the image after scrutinising it, and it turns out i was right anyway)

these are extremely odd choices for your five spell slots.

the fact he has five spell slots really is the piece de resistance here. the funniest thing about this whole image. i'm sorry i put it off, but i really had to savour this.

you get two spell slots at the start of the game. one is bought at the roundtable hold. one drops from the red wolf of radagon, a mandatory boss on a casual playthrough taking on every legacy dungeon they find. a fifth one drops from demi-human queen maggie, in mt gelmir near where he would have been doing a quest to get that staff.

all the other memory stones are acquired through puzzles.

he is running an intelligence build because he thinks he's smart, but he could not solve a single puzzle.

he also took a photo of the screen instead of a screenshot.

[txttletale]

NOT asking this as a gotcha, I'm 100% sincere, can you point to pieces of AI art that you feel are interesting uses of the medium? Because I'm not philosophically opposed to it, but at the same time I've never seen anything that wasn't naked bandwagon shilling by the same people who pushed NFTs

sure! i think a classic of the medium is secret horses

(i sadly don't know who made it, but i've seen it around and fallen in love). this is everything AI art should be, imo, taking advantage of the liminal dreamlike quality of the medium and using titling and framing to say something about the piece that wouldn't exist if it was presented on its own. secret horses...

my favourite band, everything everything, released an album last year that made use of AI generation, both for the album's art and for small portions of the lyrics (interestingly, they've refused to say which lyrics are AI written and which are human written, which adds another layer of intrigue to me -- the only lyric that they've confirmed is AI generated is the title of 'software greatman', which forms the haunting, powerful chorus of the song that gets deconstructed into electronic incoherence. other highlights include the album art, part burning skyscape, part incomprehensible machine. what is the machine? is it a camera? a monitor? a train? does it matter?

and finally from this album cycle i adore the hallucinogenic exuberance of their video for i want a love like this:

in terms of dedicated artists working primarily within the AI medium, i'm a huge fan of @reachartwork, a really innovative artist who keeps blowing me away with evocative and interesting pieces and pioneer in ethical and cooperative AI art techniques. i'm an especially big fan of their grotesque and uncomfortable 'tooth machine' series:

as well as their desolate, bleak, alien landscapes:

(hole in the sky / river lethe )

and their project, the @infiniteartmachine, a model that produces art based upon algorithmically generated prompots -- effectively a long-term art piece.

finally, i'm a very very big fan of @roborosewater-masters, a bot that makes AI-created magic the gathering cards. this might not parse as 'art' to some people, or be interesting to analyze as such, but to me, someone obsessed with games and game studies, i think that the mix of synctactically correct magic the gathering rules text and abrupt non sequitur makes for really striking and funny pieces that prompt me to think about what the limits of games and gaming are

these are just the artists and pieces i can name off the top of my head, but i hope that they're representative of what generative art has to offer when it's not being done by grifters chasing the lowest common denominator.

[flamingpudding]

DPxDC Family Week June 24 (Day 7)

Prompts: Distant Relatives | Engrave

A/N: This is what I believe some would call straight up crack :D

AO3 Link: DPxDC Family Week Contributions

How do you tell your great great great great great (how many greats do you add when the child is the x-generation after about… how many years again? Danny had lost count) grand nephew that the ghost king, he just summoned, with an old family heirloom is his granduncle of many generations?

"Batman. Why does the pendant you gave me summon the fucking Ghost King?" Danny heard a familiar man in a trench coat say next to his nephew (he decided he needed to keep it simple there were too many greats to count)

The batman grunted glaring at the man, Danny blinked finally recognising the guy.

"Aren't you the guy who sold like a tenth of your soul to Ellie's spouse? I am sure I also heard Lucifer complaining that Mammon got more parts of your soul than he has." Danny mused as he looked down at them in his eldritch form. Noting how his nephew tensed as he got past that pathetic wall of protection.

Honestly all the protective engravings he had gifted his nephew and nieces through out generations were a hundred times better. How else would a place like Gotham survive on only Lady Gotham as spiritual protection from ghosts of the Ghost Zone and his former rogues that still liked to mess with his children, nephews and nieces? At least Jazz's branch of the family was safe from them this way. He had baby proofed the entire town or better every town a part of his branch family lived in.

"So, trading game, why did you summon me?" He would have liked to stay hidden, you know? The branch family had long forgotten their relation to the Ghost King and Danny had easily accepted that. His own child of chaos had not so much and preferred to play with the earth family branch but that's besides the point. They had used the pendant to summon him, with his own personal engraving. Did that mean they remembered or did his son let something slip to his cousin?

"Trading game." Someone snorted and for the first time since he got summoned Danny noticed the audience around him. His eldritch form did the equivalent to stunt blinking as he straightened up and took count of the children of his nephew. Baby Ghost, Baby Menace, Baby Stalker and Baby Stabby were there.

A gasp left his lips. A Baby Ghost was sick! In a puff of greenish smoke his eldritch form was dismissed and he changed to his favorite 20 years old Phantom form, rushing past his nephew and trading game.

"You poor baby! I didn't realize you were this sick! If I had known I would have done something way sooner!" He fretted as he inspected one of his nephew's babies, hovering around the boy poking and prodding the little guy, well little to him anyway.

"Who are you calling a baby?! Get your fucking hands of me!" Danny only hummed, patting the baby's head, only a little sad that he couldn't look at his face as Baby Ghost was wearing his favorite red explosive helmet and was on duty.

But on second thought seeing their cute little uniforms live was way better than when he had watched them through his ice mirrors. "Don't worry little Red Hood. You will be feeling a whole lot better soon. Your Uncle Danny will make sure of it."

"The fuck?" The sick baby probably looked at Danny like he had gone insane and the ghost king could only laugh. Good had it been long since he interacted with the earth branch family let alone humans. Maybe he should start accompanying his youngest to his visits to earth.

"Constantine! I thought the sigils were supposed to contain him!" He heard his nephew grunt and Danny grinned over his shoulder at them.

"My little nephew. I granted you way better engravings than this pathetic wall of protection." As if to prove a point he flew around the babies, stopping by the youngest and pulling his sword from him. There were gasps of shock as well as complaints and he couldn't help the laugh as little Baby Stabby tried to lunge at him but got held back by the eldest Baby Menace. He just held the sword towards his nephew and trading game as he held his palm against it and let his power flow. Soon the sigils he had placed on the sword as a homecoming present to the youngest baby, when he started living with his nephew, started to appear, glowing and shining.

"You… you engraved your sigils on things the bats own?!" Disbelieve clearly coloring the trench coats' voice as the man paled. His nephew appeared to be close to start brooding like he had seen him do a couple of times through the ice mirrors. Danny returned the sword, huffing amused how little Robin instantly inspected the sword again, the engravings no longer visible.

"Of course I did. I promised my sister a long time ago that I would always protect her children. Though the engravings were certainly hard to hide from one of your babies."

"Sister? Babies?" Baby Stalker aka Red Robin aka little Tim asked and Danny coed. This baby always reminded him of his best friend Tucker and he was glad to have a technology adept child in the family again.

"Yes your great great great uh…" he stopped thinking how many greats he needed to add and ended up sighing compromising with: "...your grandmother many generations ago."

"How many of our things did you engrave?" His nephew finally grunted out, trench coat guy definitely looking like he was having an aneurysm by now.

"Don't remember, decorations, jewelry, toys, weapons, I think I even engraved your belt buckle." The ghost king shrugged, he honestly didn't. Ellie liked to joke that he was way too protective of the earth branch with the amount of protective engravings and sigils he had put up for them without them even knowing. She was still a little cross with them when they started forgetting about their ghostly part of the family after Jazz died.

There was a distinctive frustrated sigh and for a second Danny did feel bad for his nephew. Maybe he should not have just simply spewed everything but he couldn't hold himself back when he saw the sick baby. He was protective of his family, sue him. At least he hadn't given any of his nephews potential mates a shovel talk yet, not like he had with Ellie's spouse anyway. Jazz had banned him from using Fright Knight's Soul Shredder on humans after he had mentally scared and traumatized her first boyfriend with it. Apparently the guy had been too weak to handle it and lay sick in bed for a while after his return from the nightmare realm.

That reminded him! Turning around he flew up to the sick baby again who flinched back from his touch. He ignored that and only made a calming thrilling noise, calling out to the baby's sick core.

"Get the fuck away-"

Poor baby must be suffering badly from uncontrolled anger and ghostly intermittent explosive disorder. No wonder he hadn't developed any of his powers yet. That Disorder tended to be violent, especially the ghostly kind. Carefully letting his power wash over the baby, Danny coaxed out the little underdeveloped core. Usually he would make sure to do these kinds of things for any of his children, nieces and nephews in a safe environment but this was an exception. It was a sick baby core that would receive long lasting damage if not treated.

Gasp resounded as the tiny core came out of the baby's chest, not wasting any time Danny refresh the ectoplasm in it and removed the corrupted one. He then sent the core back into the baby's chest patting him where it sunk back into the body.

"There you go! Should be all good now!" A second after he said it Danny blinked at all the weapons that were pointed at him. He flinched a little as Baby Menace let electricity spark near him.

"WAIT THAT IS THE GHOST KING YOU IDIOTS!" Trading game screamed, apparently finally waking up from whatever stupor he had been in.

"So? He did something to Todd. Who knows what that was." Danny cooed, he knew Baby Stabby cared, his own youngest was similar in that way, just more chaotic in his display of affection, which also earned him his title. Little Damian was also the most intune with ghostly etiquette next to Baby Ghost, considering the reason for the nickname Danny gave him.

"And he can destroy entire dimensions! Do you guys want to doom us all?!" Trench coat countered very much insistent that the babies pull back their weapons.

Danny in return only huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. Like he would destroy the home of the earth branch. That man was talking rather rudely to them and he was also stopping him from bonding with his nephews' babies. "Buzz of trading game. This is a family matter and if the babies want to bond then we will bond."

After a moment of consideration he added. "Also don't talk to them like that. They are royalty and I will not have you disrespect them."

With a wave of his hand a green portal opened below the man swallowing him. Being nice Danny decided to drop the man off in his own home. He was the one that taught his nephew how to use the pendant again after all. But he wanted to be left alone with his family. Before his nephew or the babies could panic he smiled brightly and said. "Don't worry I sent him home to his house of mysteries or whatever he calls it. So we can have some family time! Besides, my In-law wouldn't be happy if I harmed his contract even if his soul is a trading game among the demons…"

They all shared a look and seemed to take the ghost king's words for it. Especially as litte Jason finally got out of his shock, patting at his own chest and mentioning that he indeed did feel better. Saying that there was no Pit Madness in his mind anymore, huh so that's what the Disorder got called on earth.

They instantly questioned Danny of what he did to which their ghostly uncle only smiled at the once sick baby without answering. He would have Frostbite to take a second look soon though, just to be safe.

"You mentioned us to be royalty?" The gruff voice his nephew put on when on duty resounded and a warm smile spread across the ghost kings face to the wonder of the bat-clan present.

"I thought that information got passed down through all the generations like the summoning pendant." The ghost king tilted his head. "You do know your part of the Infinite Realms Royalty right?"

"We… are royalty? For real?" One of the babies slowly asked and Danny grinned at them.

"Of course you are. In fact, the little Baby Ghost here-" He flew up to Jason, the once sick baby and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Is the fifth in line should neither my children, nore Ellie or her children want to take over the throne when I don't want it anymore and don't feel like bothering on waiting for someone to beat me in a succession battle."

"Red Hood is? Shouldn't it be like Batman or Robin?" Little Tim asked and Danny sadly shook his head.

"By earth standards, sure. Not by Ghost Zone standards though. They don't have a core, it would be different if they develop a core after death but right now? It's baby Hood here who is in line."

"So… to sum it up." The oldest baby started packing his weapons away and Danny felt just a little bit disappointed but the youngest had his sword out. So maybe a bit of bonding would still happen now that the earth branche knew about their relationship again.

"B is a descendant of your sister which makes him royalty and in turn all his children, blood and adopted equally? And Red Hood is even in line for the throne of another dimension because he has, what you call a core?"

"Yup." Danny popped the 'p', he was about to explain more considering his nephew had adopted quite the stoic look and the babies did appear to become slowly a little too overwhelmed. When a red portal opened and his own son decided to join the family reunion.

"Dad! What is taking you so long? Aunt Ellie is sending me to fetch you cause she thinks you're skipping your meeting with the observants again!"

"KLARION?!" Baby Stalker shouted and Danny blinked. Oh right, his own baby boy liked to bond with his cousin's babies. When was the last time his baby boy visited earth? Oh the babies were taking on fighting stances. How sweet of them! Even his nephew was tensing up and looked ready to fight.

"Baby Spook, are you here to bond with your cousin's again?" Sue him, he couldn't help the excitement. His little chaos was the most interested in playing with his earth branch family compared to everyone else in the ghost branch, including Ellie's children. They liked to mess with entire dimensions though and nearly caused at least three wars in the last ten years. They had also inherited Ellie's ire in regards to the earth branch forgetting their existence. That's why his youngest son had taken it upon himself to teach and bond with the little ones here.

"Bond?" Little Tim questioned while his son sighed.

"Beings of the Infinite Realms bond via fighting. How else are we going to teach babies how to protect themselves and become stronger?" The Lord of Chaos explained in exasperation like he was talking to a toddler. Considering their age differences he kind of was, Danny mused.

"Hold on, does that mean all the times you spent attacking was…?"

"Me bonding with you babies, yes. My siblings as well as older cousins aren't interested so of course that leaves me, the heir and superior cousin, to take care of our earth bound family."

"Even when you messed with the watchtower?"

Klarion arched an eyebrow at Batman. "Just because you are the oldest among the earthly doesn't mean you're any less of a toddler."

"Klarion." Danny warned, his cousins might be babies by ghost terms but that didn't mean he could act all arrogantly with them. Danny might have spoiled the boy since he was his youngest child but he surely had raised him better than that.

"No bonding today, Dad, you do have a meeting scheduled." A sigh left his lips, he guessed it was time to return. The disappointment must have been written all over the ghost king's face as his son huffed in amusement. "Maybe next time, Dad. You can come alone… if you get away from the observants."

"Alright, alright." Agreeing, Danny flew over to the summoning cycle and picked up the pentant before floating to his nephew.

The boy took a step back from him but Danny just smiled and continued forward, placing the pendant around Batman's neck. "My calling card, little nephew. We don't exactly have phones in the Infinite Realms. So use that to call me any time, though now that you guys got reminded about your relation to me I will make sure to come visit more often and not just watch and protect you from the other side."

"See you later Amadillos"

"Bye Bye Baby Bats!"

With that he didn't leave his nephew and the babies time to respond as he opened a portal and he and his son returned to the Infinite Realms, where an angry Ellie was waiting for him. Oh boy…

Meanwhile the bat clan exchanged looks slowly digesting the information dump that had just happened. They had just wanted to have Constantine check on the engraving they had on a family heirloom that happened to be similar to one that was found on an ancient egyptian summon plate and had caused some rather dangerous events.

Who would have thought that the Ghost King himself would tell them that they were apparently related and royalty in another dimension?

"I am so going to rub it in Roy's face that I am Royalty." Red Hood broke the silence.

"I always knew I was of royal descent." Robin added holding himself even prouder than before.

"Am i the only one losing my shit here that B and Robin are apparently blood related to Klarion? Also… just a warning I am going to start digging into the Family tree now." Red Robin informed with a glint in his eyes hidden behind his mask. He was definitely not asking for permission to do so.

"The Ghost King kept calling us babies though." Nightwing sounded amused, watching at how his brothers were taking the news and wondered how the rest of the family would react.

While Batman on the other hand was brooding and appeared to be severely constipated, probably thinking of all the worst case scenarios and most likely trying to figure if he needed a contingency plan for their newly discovered interdimensional family or not.

John Constantine on the other hand awoke back in his home and let out a long and suffering groan with the new knowledge he gained. Apparently the ghost king's in-law had a contract with him and now he also couldn't even be rude to the bats anymore because they were royalty and he would be screwed and potentially risk his entire existence should the Ghost King take offense. He was fucked the next time he had to deal with the bat-clan again.

[riding-the-sunset-bird]

A character reference based on all four Steps of Our Life! It's only "sort of" a height reference as well since obviously they're not 100% accurate (the devs don't have specific heights for everyone to my knowledge).

I did dig into the code to try and get characters at their "normal" heights but there are other matters at play too (example: Nicolas is obviously "taller" than he should be because he needs to be pushed upwards to be visible enough above the game's text box; likewise with other very short characters).

Still, this should serve as either a nice reference guide for every character or a "height reference" in the sense of getting an idea of which characters are shorter/taller than others.

I'm also going to detail some extra notes below the break, including posts from GB Patch's Tumblr that reference any defined heights (with Cove being the obvious one) or general height things, as well as some more stuff about the MC's height in comparison to the three love interests depending on what you pick.

Cove's height is listed on GB Patch's FAQ as 4' 1" in Step 1 (also stated as "mostly average, perhaps a bit on the short side"), 5' 4" in Step 2 (in-game this is defined as "very tall" on the MC's potential height spectrum, as that is the only option considered on par with Cove's height), 6' 0" in Step 3, and 6' 4" in Step 4. A fun fact is that Cove's final height was originally 6' 3" (191cm) instead.

Derek in Step 2 is under five feet tall (this post also lists Cove as "around 5 and a half feet tall" which you could take as either close enough to 5' 4" as stated above or a potential original height he had that got changed). In-game, he's "short" but not "very short", as having your MC be "very short" will prompt narration telling you that you're shorter than Derek, whereas "short" only has you relate to him in smolness generally.

Step 4 Derek is "mostly average." He wouldn't be considered tall nor would he be considered short. His youngest brother Nicolas will "probably end up as a similar height to him" once he's more grown up.

Step 4 Baxter is "taller than average, but not especially tall."

I've been informed that, on the Our Life Patreon Discord, Step 4 Derek's height is listed as 5' 9" (175cm) whereas Step 4 Baxter's is listed as 5' 11" (180cm), so those are their defined heights. Before that, both of their heights had jumped around somewhat. A post from 2019 said that Derek was 5' 11", but a post from June 2021 said that Baxter was 5' 11" and Derek was 5' 9" (so consistent with the Discord). Then there's also another post from July 2021 (you'll have to scroll down for this one) that listed Baxter at around 5' 10" while Derek was 5' 8"/5' 9". If you're insane enough to try and use the character reference too, then Baxter would actually be around 6'1" at minimum since he's taller than Step 3 Cove (though you could also make the same argument that this means the mom trio of Pamela, Noelani, and Kyra must be decently tall as well since they're so close to Cove on the character reference).

I don't have any experience with GB Patch's other game, XOXO Droplets, so I don't know what ages the characters are in it, but since both Shiloh and Jeremy are characters seen visibly in Our Life, I thought I'd also mention that they're listed as 5' 10" and 5' 5" (or 5' 5 1/2") respectively in XOXO Droplets. Jeremy also apparently grows to 5' 8" in his 20s and he's 22 in the Our Life Cove Wedding DLC (I don't think this is spoken of in the game specifically but he's labeled as 22 in the code).

As for the MC and how their height plays into things, "tall" and "very tall" as well as "short" and "very short" tend to be considered the same for the most part in the game's code. It's not that there isn't a difference at all (I would say it's still notable), it's just that sometimes the game may be more vague about height differences. My post about Errands references this where you don't need more athletic points due to being "very short" instead of "short" to give Cove a piggyback ride.

A guesstimate I'd make is that about 5% of the time, the game will take note of whether you're "very tall" instead of "tall" or "very short" instead of "short." Otherwise, you're either "generally tall," "average," or "generally short." There are also other instances (usually with Cove) where the game might just check if you're either generally tall (around Cove's height) or not generally tall (i.e: definitely shorter than him).

This is actually relevant to the heights because, following all above information, one would assume that Step 4 Derek is average, Step 4 Baxter is tall, and Step 4 Cove is very tall going off the MC's potential "height spectrum" of very short, short, average, tall, and very tall, but it's not entirely the case.

A "tall" MC (generally tall) will look "down" at Step 4 Baxter just as he will look "up" at them or they'll look directly at each other if the MC is "average," same as Step 3 Baxter, but--

when the game has any instance of differentiating between "tall" and "very tall" (they never do this for Step 3 Baxter so the base assumption would have to be that he's just average height), things change.

During Baxter's apology in the wedding of his Step 4, Baxter dips his chin to look at the MC if they're "short"/"very short," levels his chin to look at the MC if they're "average"/"tall," and then lifts his chin to look at the MC if they're "very tall." A generally tall MC still has to lean down to kiss him if they choose to do so though.

Also, during the intimacy scene with Baxter (either in his office or his living room), if the MC is "very short," "short," or "average," it states that Baxter is taller than them. If they're "very tall," then Baxter is shorter than them, but a "tall" MC is "almost the exact same height" as him.

This is all a really long-winded way of saying that GB Patch referring to Step 4 Baxter being "taller than average but not especially tall" might mean that he's some infuriating middle ground between average and tall where he's not quite one but not quite the other either (which honestly is very Baxter of him so I can't even be mad).

[melled42]

Ai makes me sad for humans. thing about content creation is its really the one thing humans can do with no wrong answer. But we're so concerned with algorithms and money that now people think there's a mathematical answer to it. "If I just put in the right prompts and steal the right things, I win art, which js something you can and should want to do!" Instead of something you create being an unholy amalgamation of your life, influences, and what makes you you, it's just a combination of what's already been pushed on you by corporations and all the bias we have in post colonial times.

I also worry about a generations of creators who don't go through the process of creation. It's not like the whole "people are scared of the advancement of technology, we used to warn that paper would make kids not know how to clean slates!" Type fear. Art us a series of choices, both conscious and subconscious. I've even argued this in video games, how older games with more limited engines had to bake in their lighting and design instead of having it done for them, and those choices made for a different vibe, especially in horror. The more you have done for you, the less you put yourself in the piece

I had my husband spell check a comic for me a bit ago where I realized, mid reading, that I had put a LOT of my own issues in that story and character without even realizing it. So much so I had to cover my face and ears in embarrassment while he looked it over. To make something is to make choices and those choices tell you things about yourself you might not even realize, sometimes not even until someone else takes a look.

Idk if it's an autism thing, but I've always seen art as a form of communication. You're taking a little bit of you and showing it to someone, and they're taking a little bit of them and showing it to you. As someone who always felt like she was talking to people in a different language, it's freeing to be able to share things in a way I have more control over. If you're not putting that you in your work, I worry some people are never going to find that euphoria of communication in the way I did. That's so isolating.

I feel like art is a good chunk of what makes us human, and it's the one piece that lasts after we're gone and forgotten. If we stopped making new things, what's the point?

[giveafike]

Hi can you write Ben Shelton x fem reader where reader is also a pro player and her and Ben are like close friends and team up to play mixed doubles in like the us open and it's kinda like friends to lovers and they being all flirty on court and eventually admit feelings to each other?

TLDR: STORY! Tennisplayer!fem reader x Ben Shelton friends to lovers. Sort of took them flirty on and off court. Tried to build it up. Mention of Bryan Shelton and Tommy Paul cameo, thanks for stopping by, kings.

Word count + info: 17.6k! SUPER LONG STORYTIME w dialogue! (over an hour's worth of reading, ouu you're well fed tonight)

Character Inspo: Just a sweet girl, like "girl-next-door" girl. Listened to "After the First Kiss" - Faye Webster writing this (cried on first listen, enjoy the link), if that helps you envision sweet, cute, pure vibes. No specifications are mentioned (except a general "shorter" height than Ben).

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW - no warnings - slight mention of cheating and gaslighting.

Azzie Notes ✚: Hi my sweet munchkins! I'm so sorry anon, this took so long to come out but life got busy + then tumblr had this unavailable for me when I queued to post which tbh was a miracle bc I was rlly unsure while writing this, and I took my own time to reread and rework it, but idk guess I have writer's block, sorta? It doesn't feel like my best work... be brutally honest w me in ur feedback when u finish reading.

And then also there's a part that was just v vulnerable for me to write, but I couldn't really imagine the scene playing out any differently. Essentially, Y/N's dialogue about her ex - that's my lived experience...erm, so I was just tinkering of ways to rewrite it but I just couldn't think of anything else to fill it with.

Anywho, boy do I have a lotta requests coming up! Be patients w me pls! Also anon, "d" you are a genius, I'm so excited to write ur prompt hehehehe, but sorry if it takes some time :(. I got a Holiday surprise coming up, I'll lyk by the end of the month what that is, but OOOH, SFW Shelton nation, prepare urselves! How are we doing otherwise? Let me know! Are you taking good care of your health in these cold months + wrapping up? Make sure to get your vitamins in! Also, is my tumblr ugly? Should I make a colour theme and redo my masterlist properly? Help?

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Beyond the Baseline - B.T.S

The relationship between you and Ben Shelton was like watching day and night play tennis. Seriously, how could you be friends? What did you even have in common? What would you even talk about?

You, polished, textbook perfect, poised. A steady player who never lets emotions show on the court. Confident but never loud about it. After a win, you’d offer a graceful nod to the crowd, maybe a modest fist pump, but never more. Your game was a masterclass in precision in every shot calculated, every movement on and off court methodical. Fans admired how you dismantled opponents with strategy and patience, and your flawless form made it look effortless. Off the court, you were polite and kindred, smiling, making everyone feel at ease without even trying.

You were the embodiment of calm, pristine tennis. If anyone wanted an example of “playing by the book,” they’d point to you.

And then there was Ben Shelton.

Ben, who was your complete opposite. Loud, unpredictable, made waves and was unapologetic, and yet, utterly captivating. His game thrived on power and chaos, booming serves, fast sprinting bursts across the court, and reckless dives to the net, every point celebrated with fist pumps and wild energy. He lived for those moments that made crowds roar, he basked and riled the stands. When you calmly shake hands with your opponents, Ben chats effortlessly at the net, teasing, joking, and slapping his opponent’s back with that infectious grin. Impossible to dislike, even when he was cocky. Off the court, he was just as loud, just as alive when socialising. If you were a quiet, steady river with your course set, Ben was a wildfire, impossible to contain or predict.

Yet, somehow, despite your differences, you clicked.

It all started that first year on tour at a crossover event where the tours shared a venue. After a long day of matches, you found yourself in the players' lounge, neatly perched in a plush chair, legs crossed, posture upright and as perfect as ever. You still had that composed, in-control air about you, ready to handle anything gracefully.

Then, in strolled Ben Shelton.

He collapsed into the chair across from you, manspreading like it was his personal throne, slouching so far down it was a wonder he didn’t slide onto the floor.

He glanced at you with a lazy grin, his curls messy and unruly, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Y'always sit like you’re posing for the cover of Tennis Monthly?” he asked, amusement laced with that accent of his, no intention of introductions or small talk.

You blinked, taken aback for a few seconds. “I-...what?”

“Yeah,” he continued, sitting up a bit as he waved a hand at your upright posture. “We’re off the court. Y'know, you can relax, right?”

You stared, completely thrown off by his audacity. Who starts a conversation like that? And how do you even reply to that? You didn’t even know him well, yet here he was already challenging you. Your lips broke into an awkward, tight line as your mouth was still agape, trying to find words to respond - not that you needed to, it seemed like Ben had more to tease you about, clearly enjoying your confusion with a wider, gummy smile.

“Don’t tell me you play tennis like this too, all tight 'n rigid. That's so boring.”

It took a moment, but when you finally brought your eyes up to his, you burst out laughing. His nerve! “You did not just say that,” you managed between giggles, shaking your head in disbelief. “My tennis form? Really? You want to talk about form and play?”

He shrugged, not even a little apologetic, enjoying the riffing as his feet rested against the coffee table filling the gap between you two. “Just sayin' loosen up. This isn’t a press conference. I mean, d'you even know how to slouch?”

You shot him a playful, mock-serious look, tucking a strand behind your ear as you leaned forward, your arms resting on your folded legs. “I can slouch.”

His eyebrows shot up in mock surprise, folding his arms over his chest. “Oh yeah? Prove it.”

You paused, narrowing your eyes at him in a challenge. Slowly, way more dramatically than necessary, you leaned back in your chair, gently scooting down an inch on the chair, still keeping your legs crossed but allowing just enough of a slouch to break your normally perfect posture. You looked more uncomfortable than anything, your back now curved, while every other inch of your body remained proper.

Ben snorted, shaking his head, eyes gleaming with amusement. “Wowwww,” he said, barely holding back a laugh. “Look at you. A real rebel huh?”

You rolled your eyes, bringing yourself back up to sit properly, but couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips. “I’m not trying to impress you, you know.”

“Oh?” he cocked his head to the side like a puppy, his grin turning into something softer. “Too late. You already have.”

Your heart skipped a beat, his words catching you completely off guard. There was something about the way he said it, teasing, but with an undertone that made butterflies dance in your stomach and your skin buzz. You found yourself opening your mouth to respond, but just like the other attempts, nothing came out. You just stared at him, feeling completely disarmed by his effortless charm. He didn’t push, just grinned and waited, like he was used to leaving people speechless.

How much confidence could a guy have, and how could he play it off so casually that you don't even mind it?

And in that moment, there was no awkward silence, no need for formalities. Just easy, unexpected banter that flowed naturally and lingered in your mind for longer than you'd like to admit. It wasn’t what you’d expected from someone like Ben, but somehow, it felt right. He opened a side of you within a few conversations, a side that took years of coaxing from some of your closest friends. You couldn't even explain it, for everything you both were and were not, somehow ying and yang, a mountain and a streaming river, you were opposites and yet fit together like a landscape. He’d broken through your perfectly composed exterior, making you laugh and talk without even trying, and for some reason, you didn’t mind at all.

And now here you are, present day, strolling through an Australian mall at midday, looking the ever-polar opposites.

You strode in your knitted cardigan top and straight-leg pants while Ben towered over in a casual t-shirt and his signature stupidly short black shorts. Your arm was casually linked with Ben’s, your steps in sync like this was second nature. It wasn’t unusual for you two to walk like this; in fact, it would be strange if you didn’t. Over time as you both got to know each other, it had started as a joke but became a habit, something along the lines of Ben not wanting you to get "swept away by the crowds". You shared this easy closeness, the kind that people would easily mistake for a couple, but it was just the way you were.

Or at least, that’s what you told yourselves.

“Hey,” Ben’s voice interrupted your thoughts. You blinked, realising he was watching you, that knowing grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. His finger was pointing at a poster right beside a warm small shop.

“Didn’t you mention that necklace before on call a while ago? Wanna go in and have a look?”

You shook your head, brushing it off. “Oh, no, I was just-”

Before you could finish, he was already steering you toward the small store, his hand warm on your shoulder. “C’mon, just looking, right? Besides, you need to get somethin' while we're here. Not like you can't afford it.” He flashed you a wink that made your stomach flip.

The two of you stepped into the warm-lit shop, drawing a few amused glances from the few other customers and the shop assistant. It only really occurred just odd you two looked, Ben in his usual casual attire, slouched with his hands in his pockets, striding while examining the glass displays and you, neat and polished, hands folded and shy.

Ben leaned close, glancing over the cases as if he actually knew what he was looking at. “So you’re gonna match with me and get one of those silver chains, right?” He tugged at his thick metal chain with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at you.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back a smile. “Yeah, Ben, because that would look so ‘me,’ right?”

He snorted. “What, scared of a little edge? Imagine the next headline: ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’ ”

“Or,” you retorted, arching a brow, “it could just read ‘WTA Pro Loses It With a Clear Cry for Help.’”

He chuckled, his laugh low and genuinely amused. But then his expression softened as he caught sight of the delicate rose-gold necklace you’d been admiring. “Alright, alright. Let’s see the one you’re actually into.”

You glanced at him, surprised he remembered the specific piece. And the next thing you knew, he had the case brought out by the sales assistant. The delicate rose gold chain necklace with its beautifully intricate pendant sat in front of you. It wasn't long before the cool metal met your fingers as you gently hauled it out from its bed and into your hands, your breath hitching as you studied it dozens of times, trying to engrave it into your memory. Before you could think twice, you broke your trance and handed it to him.

“Help me put it on?”

Ben’s brows shot up, but he didn’t hesitate. “Turning this into a whole trust exercise, huh?”

“Shut up,” you muttered, turning around and sweeping your hair aside.

“Turn around,” he said, his voice quiet with a flutter of nervousness.

Obediently, you turned, holding your hair up and out of the way, feeling his hands slip around to clasp the necklace at the back of your neck. His fingers brushed your skin, surprisingly gently, and suddenly it was hard to focus on anything else but the feel of his hands there. His fingers trembled ever so slightly, his large digits fiddling with the small dainty clasp. You couldn't help but feel hyper-aware of his touch as you let out a small gasp, only for you to hear; the way he just barely grazed your neck for fleeting milliseconds, how his breath was ghosting over your ear in steady, focused breaths, how his tongue stuck out ever so slightly as he focused, his eyes honed in on getting this one thing right just for you - it was far too much.

You swallowed, realising this was the first time he’d ever been this close in this way, this… tender. A part of you wanted to step forward, break the tension, take the necklace and put it on yourself, the burning, buzzing sensation being oh so overwhelming to the point where it felt you might evaporate on this spot, right here right now. But realistically even if you really wanted to, you couldn't force or make yourself move, the feeling was like a drug, coursing through you and this was your euphoria, your high, something you hadn't felt in a long time, or maybe ever and you had no intention of cutting it short.

You gently bring your gaze up from your shoes, to the mirror and stare at him, running your eyes over his face. It's just a necklace, he's just helping you, c'mon get it together!

“There,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and you felt the clasp fall onto your skin. But he didn’t step back right away. His fingers trailed down, skimming the nape of your neck, and for a second you thought - no, you knew - he was about to say something else, he took a sharp intake but then hesitated and remained in his silence. You look up in the mirror, seeing him still staring at your neck, and your hair, slowly meeting your eyes in the mirror before he realises he's been caught. He stepped back, his familiar grin slipping back into place, and the moment passed like a puff of smoke.

“How does it look?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, breaking free from the dizzy haze you've created in your head.

“Looks good,” he said lightly, and you hated the way your heart twisted at the easy casualness of his tone. He flashed you that infuriating smile, the one that made you both want to slap him and pull him closer at the same time.

“Yeah,” you said, your voice tight, almost irritated that you felt this intense pull that didn't seem to affect him nearly as much as it affected you. “Thanks.”

Your hand delicately took the pendant between your fingers, toying with it as you both stared at each other in the mirror entranced for a few moments, something shifting. You turned back to the display, focusing hard on the jewellery cases even though you could still feel the phantom warmth of his hands on your skin. You forced yourself to breathe evenly, to ignore the way your heart was racing, to pretend like everything was fine.

But as you looked at your reflection in the store’s mirror, the delicate gold resting against your collarbone, you couldn’t help but wonder if he knew, if he could feel it, too. The slow, insidious shift between you, the way everything had started to mean something when it was supposed to mean nothing at all. It wasn't the first time that Ben had done or said something that froze you, but it seems as though every encounter grows in its intensity, and worse, builds more confusion and haze inside of you.

“Guess that means you’re getting it, right?”

You gave him a shy smile breaking from your thoughts, turning around on your heel, still feeling the heat lingering on your neck. “I… think I might.”

As you admired the necklace in your hands, Ben flashed you a grin and excused himself, slipping off towards the main counter. You assumed he was just idly browsing or looking for something to keep him occupied while you made your decision. But when you turned to check on him, you saw him whispering something to the cashier, glancing over at you with a suspiciously wide grin.

You squinted, realising too late what he was up to. Just as you started toward him, the assistant who’d been helping you gently tapped your shoulder.

“Miss?” she said, her voice sweet but carefully practised. “We actually just got a similar collection of rose-gold necklaces in. You might want to take a look.”

You shot her a polite smile, still watching Ben out of the corner of your eye. “Oh, I think I’ve found the one-”

But Ben was already flashing his card to the cashier, sending you a playful wink and sticking his tongue out between his smile, before your assistant intercepted you again with a dazzling necklace display. By the time you returned to the counter, Ben was leaning casually, arms crossed, the structured paper bag already in his hand.

“Ben!” you hissed, reaching for it.

He laughed, holding it just out of your reach as he leaned in, his grin bordering on smug. “You don’t remember mentionin’ it twice, right?” he drawled, dripping with his usual playful tone, the same one that had you engaged from the day you first met. “Couldn’t risk lettin’ ya walk away from somethin’ you actually like.”

You smacked his arm lightly, only making him laugh more as he ducked away, looping his arm casually around your waist to draw you into a side hug. The warmth of his touch lingered, his hand resting comfortably at your hip. It was the sort of touch that should’ve felt natural by now, but somehow, it left you flustered. He was supposed to be the loud, obnoxious friend who made everyone laugh. So why did it feel like every touch, every sideways glance in your direction, especially today, held a weight that left you breathless? You hated that it was him, the one person you thought you’d never lose your cool around, who could make your composure slip so effortlessly.

“Don’t go gettin’ all mad,” he said, that easy grin still in place, his accent softening in a way that had your stomach fluttering. “It’s just a little token of your winnin's.”

You mumbled something about unfair tactics, even as your hand settled into his. He finally laughed, still holding your bag and chuckling as he looked around the mall. His gaze landed on a clothing shop just ahead, and his face lit up.

“Alright, you got your shiny new necklace. Now you’re helpin’ me pick out a hoodie,” he said, giving you a grin that could only be described as downright cocky. “Let’s see if I can look half as put together as you.”

“Fine,” you replied, barely suppressing a smile, “but don't expect me to return the payment favour, that's on you.”

Ben just laughed, letting you walk in first before he strolled in behind you. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Once inside, Ben beelined for the hoodies, pulling out everything he could get his hands on without checking the tags or sizes. He held up a dark blue one with a shrug, grinning as he tossed it in your direction. “This one’s a classic, right? Nice and oversized?”

“Ben,” you said, giving him an exasperated look as you held the fabric up, it's nowhere near his size, way too small. “This wouldn’t even fit you like a sleeve. This would be a corset for you. Besides, since when do you need an oversized anything?”

He chuckled, looking down at his broad shoulders and long frame. “Point taken. Let’s see, you’re gonna have to help me find somethin’… refined. Like me.”

You rolled your eyes, but reached for a khaki cream-coloured hoodie, holding it up in front of him. “This one’s got ‘actually dressed himself’ written all over it.”

Ben took it from you and pulled it over his head without bothering to even look for the changing rooms, letting it settle over his broad shoulders and across his arms, the fabric fitting perfectly. He adjusted the sleeves, smoothing out a crease as he caught your eye with a playful smirk.

“So, how do I look? All cleaned up, or just half?”

You stepped closer, straightening the hood and smoothing the fabric across his chest and shoulders. “Not bad,” you said, nodding approvingly. “Maybe the best-dressed you’ve ever been for casual attire.”

Ben cleared his throat, a small blush creeping up his neck before he made a funny face at you and pushed your face away with his palm, making you laugh. You reached up and tugged the hood down over his face in response. “Stop it! Do you ever act normal?”

From underneath the hood, his face was hidden but the smile in his tone gave him away. “Normal? C’mon, that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

He yanked the hood off, reaching for another hoodie, examining a grey one this time. He pulled the cream hoodie up over his head, and just as he tugged it up, you realised his T-shirt was trying to come with it. Without thinking, you reached over and tugged his shirt back down, cheeks warming as he slipped into the hoodie with a cheeky grin.

“Good save,” he said, finally adjusting the fit with a little salute. “Now I really gotta make you my official stylist.”

“Oh, if it means I get to stop you from embarrassing yourself in public, I’ll do it,” you replied with a grin.

Ben just rolled his eyes sassily as he watched you inspect the look as he pulled the grey one on. “Don’t go givin’ me too many compliments now. Might go straight to my head.”

You laughed, giving his chest a final pat. “I’d say we’ve got it just right.”

After a long day of shopping and conversing together, the last thing you needed was more conversation, you couldn't wait to take yourself to your hotel room and sink in everything that had happened and everything that had been felt. As you took your small bags from Ben's hands you stood in the elevator, engrossed in the gossip Ben was subjecting you to, something to do with car dealers. Somewhere along the way, Ben had even pressed the button to your floor himself.

By the time you unlocked your door, it was almost automatic; you turned to face him, assuming he’d say goodbye and let you get some rest. But he strolled right in, still mid-sentence, as if he had every right to be there. You stood in the doorframe, breaking your smile and shaking your head, mouth agape as you realised what just happened.

“Ben... did you just follow me into my hotel room?” you asked, crossing your arms as you watched him plop down on your bed like he owned the place.

“Pfft,” he scoffed, “don’t flatter yourself. You ain’t got nothin’ in here worth followin’ you for - ‘cept maybe more of that wild fashion sense you got.” He shot you a teasing grin, his eyes flicking over to the small shopping bags you’d set down on the dresser.

You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, so now you’re a fashion critic too? I didn’t hear you complaining when I helped you pick out those hoodies.”

He laughed, that easy, familiar sound filling the room, and leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I still think you coulda gone a little crazier. All that walking around and y' bought tiny, little things like that necklace. Real tame, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to smile. “It’s called being tasteful, Ben. Not everyone can rock 'big and bold' like you.”

He gave you a mock-offended look, his drawl growing thicker. “Well, we can’t all be boring, now can we, darlin'?”

You felt a flicker of something under his words - the teasing words hung in the air longer than you expected, and you felt a jolt of something, nothing you could name, but enough to make you look away first, pretending to busy yourself with the bags again as you cleared your throat.

“Right,” you said, voice light, “because you’re the definition of exciting. The guy who almost bought a novelty koala mug for fifty bucks.”

“Hey, c'mon now, that mug was a steal,” he shot back, eyes glinting with amusement. “And besides, who’s gonna stop me? You?”

You giggled softly, flopping down beside him on your stomach, your elbow brushing the bedspread as you kept a careful inch of space between you. The gap between you felt electric, buzzing with that familiar charge you both pretended not to notice. “I already did, remember? I’ve saved you so many times from a lifetime of tacky souvenirs. You’d be drowning in cheap tourist mugs if it weren’t for me.”

Ben’s face softened, his smirk fading into something almost thoughtful as he rolled onto his side, propping his head up with one hand. “Guess I owe you, then,” he said quietly, his tone lower, like he was sharing a secret.

The room seemed to hold its breath, and you swore the sunlight dimmed just a little, softening the angles of his face. For a heartbeat, you thought he was going to say something more, something that would change everything between you. You caught the scent of his cologne, warm and fresh with a hint of spice, and your eyes flickered down to his lips, wondering if he’d noticed the way you’d frozen like a deer in headlights, caught between teasing and leaning in, unsure if you were daring him or daring yourself.

His gaze dropped, almost imperceptibly, to where your fingers played with the loose thread on the edge of the bedspread, and it was like he saw right through you. The air crackled, the tension stretching out like a taut string, ready to snap making you feel all sorts of woozy. You knew if you moved, if you even breathed too deeply, it would shatter whatever fragile moment this was. He was watching you so closely, noticing everything, the angle of your face, the way your hair fell, the way your breath caught just a little too fast, the tiny smile you couldn’t quite hide.

And then he grinned as he caught your smile; a lazy, crooked grin that made your heart skip. The vulnerability in his eyes flickered and was gone, hidden behind that familiar playful charm. It was safer that way, easier to laugh it off than to admit there might be something real between you.

You nudged him gently with your shoulder, letting out a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding, aching from the sincere moment but almost glad it passed. Almost.

“You definitely do,” you said, your voice deliberately light.

Ben chuckled, a warm, rumbling sound that made you feel both safe and entirely off-balance. “Deal, you got it. How about some snacks? But, if I’m buyin’, you can’t go pullin’ that health-nut stuff on me. It’s gotta be a proper snack run, none of your boring, practical choices.”

“Oh, I’m so there,” you replied, half laughing, half trying to mask the flush that was still heating your cheeks. “Just don’t get all whiny if I veto your terrible taste.”

He sat up, giving you a mockingly serious look, his expression exaggeratedly grave. “Whiny? I don’t whine. I’m just... persuasive.”

“Sure you are,” you teased, feeling the tension still lingering about in the air.

You reached out to push his shoulder playfully, but he was faster. His hand caught yours, fingers curling around yours in a way that sent a spark racing up your arm. For a second, everything went still, the noise from the street outside faded, and the weight of the bed shifted beneath you, but all you could feel was the heat of his palm against yours.

It was Ben who let go first, his eyes gleaming with that familiar mischievous spark. “9, don’t be late,” he said, pushing himself off the bed with a careless grin.

You watched him head for the door, your pulse still racing in your chest. “I’m never late,” you shot back, trying to sound unaffected despite the way your voice wavered, light and teasing.

He paused in the doorway, throwing a look over his shoulder, his eyes softer than usual, almost expectant. “We’ll see about that,” he said with a wink before disappearing into the hallway, leaving you staring at the closed door, still lying on the bed, with a strange, buzzing feeling beneath your skin. You couldn't help but feel the heat rise to your face, your hand on fire from the interaction as you stared around, dumbfounded from the passing moments.

Later that night, you headed to the hotel lobby, the low hum of late-night travellers and the clinking of glass doors filling the space. You spotted Ben before he saw you, leaning casually against a column in a purple hoodie, scrolling through his phone with a barely-there smile tugging at his lips.

He looked up the second the elevator doors opened, and whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t you in a simple top with the sleeves pushed up and cargo pants, like you were trying too hard to look like you weren’t trying at all.

His eyebrows lifted, a grin spreading slow and wide. “That’s what you’re wearin’?” he said, not even bothering to hide his amusement.

You scoffed, furrowing your brows, shoving your hands in your pockets before muttering, “Yeah... what’s wrong with it?”

He rolled his eyes, but you caught the way they softened, something playful and gentle mingling with the mischief. Without saying a word, he dug into his bag and pulled out a well-worn hoodie, its cuffs fraying slightly and the colour slightly faded from too many washes. “Here,” he said, thrusting it at you. “You’re not goin’ anywhere with me like that.”

You gave him a long, unamused stare. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” he shot back, voice dropping lower, teasing. “Don’t make me beg.”

You snatched the hoodie from him with a huff, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the fabric as you slipped it over your head. It was massive, swallowing you whole, the sleeves dangling well past your hands. You tugged at the cuffs, rolling them up clumsily and folding the bottom into your waistband so it didn't completely swallow you up as Ben watched with a satisfied smirk.

“Better,” he declared, like he’d personally fixed a crisis.

“Happy now?” you asked, your voice sharper than you’d intended, but you couldn’t help the way your heart picked up speed when he looked at you like that like you were more than just some friend he dragged along on a whim.

He just grinned and nodded. “Let’s go.”

The grocery store was nearly empty, the white-lit aisles stretching out like pathways to nowhere. The two of you wandered slowly at first, examining small differences side by side, until you found yourselves in the snack aisle, surrounded by walls of bright, neon packaging. Ben was in his element, zeroing in on the loudest, most ridiculous options like a kid in a candy store.

He plucked a bag of neon-orange chips from the shelf, shaking it lightly. “Alright,” he said, his tone suddenly all business, “What’s your stance on cheese puffs?”

You glanced at the bag and back at him, raising an eyebrow. “That’s not food, that’s...radioactive material. Nothing should be that orange.”

He gasped mouth agape before forming a pout, side-eyeing you. “Loud and wrong, but okay...”

You snatched the bag from his hand, tossing it into the cart anyway. “Fine. But we’re getting something that won’t kill us on the spot too.”

“Oh, here we go,” he groaned, watching as you added a box of granola bars to the mix with a self-satisfied smile. He shook his head, grabbing the cart handle and steering it down the aisle with a flourish.

“You’re no fun.”

“Somebody has to be the adult,” you said lightly, your shoulder brushing his as you walked.

The cart squeaked slightly as you rounded the corner, stopping to examine a box and before you knew it, Ben had snuck up behind you, his hands on your waist, lifting you off the floor in one swift movement. You barely had time to react before he dropped you, albeit with a slightly abrupt drop, laughing into the cart like it was the most natural thing in the world. You gasped, grabbing at the edges of the cart to steady yourself as he pushed forward, his laughter echoing off the empty shelves.

“Ben, what are you doing?” you demanded, half-exasperated, half-laughing as the cart picked up speed.

“Shoppin’!” he said nonchalantly, his voice lilting with barely suppressed giggles. “What’s it look like?”

You tried to glare at him, but the sound of his laughter, the way he moved so easily beside you, pulling you into his orbit, made it impossible to be mad. He flipped the hood over your face without warning, almost like payback from your antics earlier and you yelped, fumbling to throw it off your face as he made a dramatic show of spinning the cart around in circles in a wide arc, as if he were doing doughnuts in his car, laughing as you swayed and clung to the sides.

“Ben, you’re insane!” you shouted, but it came out more like a giggle, and you knew he’d hear it for what it was; a thrill you couldn’t quite hide.

“Yeah, but you love it!” he shot back, slowing the cart and landing it to face him, just enough to meet your eyes, the world narrowing down to the space between you. His smile was softer now, more intimate like he’d forgotten you were in a brightly lit grocery store at all.

For a second, you forgot too. Forgot about the shelves stacked high with candy and cereal, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead as your world came back from spinning and went straight into those puppy-dog brown eyes that always invited you so warmly. It was just him, and the warmth in him, the way he was looking at you like he could see straight through all the walls you’d built up.

Then he blinked, breaking the moment, and you cleared your throat, holding your sides tighter like it was armour. “C’mon,” you said, your voice a little too casual. “We still need to get some popcorn.”

His smirk returned a flash of teeth and mischief. “Only if I get to pick.”

“Fine,” you said, hopping out of the cart in a not-so-gracious way, almost tripping and falling over before you found your feet, while he squeezed his eyes shut and stifled a laugh. You ignored him and nudged him aside as you led the way, leaving him and the cart behind. “We’re not getting any of that sugar-loaded nonsense.”

“Deal,” he said easily, falling back into step beside you, close enough that his arm brushed yours with every step as he leaned onto the shopping cart's handle. It was comfortable, this back-and-forth, like a dance you’d both practised without realising.

The rest of the trip was a blur of bright colours and easy laughter, you vetoing his most ridiculous choices and him sneaking them into the cart when he thought you weren’t looking. There was something electric in the air, a charge that made you feel light and breathless. Every time your eyes met, it was like the world shrunk just a little more, leaving just the two of you standing there, suspended in a moment that neither of you wanted to end.

By the time you left, the night air was cool and crisp, and the city lights blurred into a haze of gold and blue. You carried your small, modest box of granola bars easily while Ben lugged a full backpack and a crinkling, overstuffed plastic bag of brightly coloured chaos, bumping your shoulder with his as you walked.

“Y’know,” he began, adding a lazy warmth to the night air, “if you think for one second that’s the last time I’m gonna put you in a cart, you’re wrong.”

You huffed out a small laugh, shaking your head. “Oh yeah? You're planning on carrying me around as part of your personal grocery haul from now on?”

He shot you a playful grin, his smile wide and easy. “Might just make it a habit. You fit in there pretty nice.”

Rolling your eyes, you bumped his arm with yours, but the warmth lingered longer than you expected. “You’re a menace, you know that?”

“Hey, I don't hear nobody complainin’ ‘bout bein’ chauffeured around,” he shot back, his eyes glimmering in the low streetlights. “And don’t pretend you didn’t love it. Saw you smilin’ the whole way.”

You tried to hide your grin, biting down on your lip. “I was not smiling.”

“Sure you weren’t,” he said, his voice dipping into a teasing drawl, and you knew he saw right through you. He always did, with that irritating, endearing way of his.

He kept walking, and you fell into an easy stride beside him, the silence that stretched out feeling warm, and comfortable, the kind that made you feel like you didn’t need to fill it with words.

As you cross the street, your fingers accidentally brush his for a split second, and you both tense up, the smallest contact sparking between you like static. But he didn’t pull away. Instead, he shot you a quick, almost shy smile before looking up at the half-lit sky.

“I’ve got an idea,” he said suddenly as if the thought had just hit him. “There’s this café I saw online, right? Said they’ve got the best breakfast sandwiches in Australia. And it's like, a 15-minute walk from the hotel.”

You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Yeah? And what, you’re planning to drag me out of bed before dawn just to try a sandwich?”

“Exactly! You read my mind!” he yelped excitedly without missing a beat, clearly not hearing your sarcasm. “We’ll beat the crowd! No lines, best seat in the house. Plus,” he added with a wink, “you look like you could use a proper breakfast after that grocery store workout.”

You gave him a sceptical look, though a smile tugged at your lips. “Fine. But if it’s some overhyped, greasy thing, you owe me.”

“I’ll take that bet,” he said, flashing that confident grin that made it impossible to say no. The walk back to the hotel was quieter, the playful back-and-forth giving way to a comfortable, unspoken understanding that neither of you wanted to break. After many attempts at trying to close the door on Ben only to be interrupted by "Wait, one last thing before I go"'s and many, many awful jokes, you finally found yourself drained as you collapsed onto your bed. You quickly set a reminder for his ridiculous plan, and a dreadful 5am alarm was made, leaving you with not nearly enough time to rest after the day's antics.

The alarm dragged you out of a deep sleep way too soon, feeling like you had just fallen into slumber. You groaned, fumbling to silence it, barely managing to swing your legs over the side of the bed before realising you were still wrapped in Ben’s hoodie, the fabric heavy and warm, smelling of cologne and well, him. Blinking blearily, you forced yourself to move, your mind foggy with sleep, the hotel room still wrapped in low shadow. The chill of the early hour made you pull the hoodie tighter around yourself, the soft material a comfort against the cold.

When you finally stumbled downstairs to the lobby, he was already there, leaning casually against the doorframe, one hand shoved into his pocket, the other holding a steaming ceramic cup of coffee. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, and you noticed the way his eyes went wide for a second before he quickly masked it with a crooked smile. His hair was messy, and he looked like he hadn’t been awake for long, but the sight of him made your chest feel oddly light. You were still half-asleep, your hair barely brushed, eyes slightly open, and wearing his hoodie like it was a shield against the early morning chill.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, his voice rough and deep with sleep, the sound of it washing over you like a warm wave. There was a hitch in his tone, something unsteady and unguarded, and it made your stomach flutter in a way you couldn’t quite explain. "You look... cozy."

You tried to rub the sleep from your eyes, barely registering his words. “What?” you mumbled, blinking up at him.

The lights in the lobby were harsh, making you squint, and you fumbled with the hood, pushing it back slightly. Your fingers felt clumsy, too heavy, and you knew you looked a mess. No makeup, hair lazily brushed, the sleeves of his hoodie falling over your hands like a second blanket.

His gaze lingered, and he cleared his throat, glancing away quickly like he’d seen something he shouldn’t. “I, uh... you’re wearin’ my hoodie,” he said, a slow smile tugging at his lips despite the awkwardness in his voice.

“Didn’t think you’d be, y’know, sleepin’ in it.”

Your cheeks warmed, and you shrugged, still too groggy to care much. “It’s comfortable,” you muttered, your voice muffled with sleep. “I just… forgot to take it off.”

He was quiet for a beat too long like he was turning your words over in his mind, and you noticed the way he was looking at you, really looking, like he was seeing something he hadn’t expected. You wanted to say something, to break the strange heaviness of the moment, but your brain felt slow and thick with exhaustion, and all you could do was yawn and shift your weight from one foot to the other.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice softer, a bit hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if he should keep pushing. His eyes were bright despite the early hour, lingering on the way his hoodie hung loose on your frame, the oversized fabric almost swallowing you. “Well, it... looks good on you. Real good.”

You ducked your head, a sleepy laugh escaping your lips, trying to ignore the way your heart skipped at his words. “I’m sure it does, c'mon let's get going if we want to beat the queue or whatever,” you teased, though there was no bite behind it. You didn’t have the energy for anything but honesty, and you were still caught up in the warmth of his hoodie, the way it felt like a shield against the morning chill.

His grin softened, and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking suddenly self-conscious. “Nah, I mean it,” he said, his drawl slow and unsteady. “Didn’t know you’d make my old thing look that good.”

You shrugged again, feeling your face flush as you ducked your chin deeper into the collar of the hoodie. “Guess I’ll take that as a compliment,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes still half-closed, struggling to focus in the dim lighting.

“Yeah, you should,” he said, the words coming out a little too fast like he couldn’t quite control the way they slipped out. He was still watching you, his gaze almost tender, his usual confidence faltering in the face of your sleepy vulnerability.

You felt an odd sensation bloom in your chest. Something soft and unsteady, and you weren’t sure if it was the early hour, his deep, sleep-rough voice, or the way he couldn’t seem to look away from you. You fumbled to roll up the too-long sleeves, your fingers barely managing to fold the fabric back, and Ben’s gaze followed the movement, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite name.

He hesitated, then stepped closer, his movements careful and unhurried, like he was testing the boundaries of whatever this was between you. He lifted his coffee cup, its warmth radiating outwards as he held it just inches from your face. “Here,” he offered his voice still that deep morning rumble that made your stomach twist. “You look like you could use this more than I do.”

Ben handed you the mug, and as you took a sip, your fingers barely brushed his, such a small, fleeting touch that it might as well have been an accident. But the warmth of it lingered, and Ben’s eyes, still sleepy but more awake than yours, didn’t stray from your face. You were too groggy to notice as you took a deep gulp of the warm coffee. It was rich and comforting, exactly what you needed to get moving, and you barely caught the way Ben's gaze softened as you closed your eyes and sighed contentedly.

You held the mug back out to him, half-smiling as you blinked against the morning light spilling through the windows. “Okay, I'll admit, it’s good,” you admitted, handing it over with a sleepy grin.

Ben grinned back, his tone suddenly lighter as he accepted the mug again. “Mhm, damn right,” his drawl thick in the early hour, the kind that always made you feel just a bit more awake than you were ready for. His voice was deep, still rough from sleep, and you felt a strange flutter at the sound of it, so different from his usual light-hearted teasing. He looked like he wanted to add something further, but instead, he raised the mug to his lips, pausing for the briefest moment before taking a sip from the exact spot where your mouth had just been.

“Let’s go,” he said softly, his voice a little rough, almost hesitant, and you nodded, letting him lead the way out into the slowly illuminating streets.

The walk to the café was quiet, but it was a different kind of quiet now, one that felt heavy with things left unsaid, with the strange intimacy of the moment lingering between you like a secret. Your footsteps echoed against the pavement, and you felt more awake with each step, the chilly air biting at your face and the faint light from the rising sun glinting off the windows above. Ben was walking a little too close, his arm brushing yours every now and then, and you noticed the way he kept sneaking glances at you as if he was trying to memorise every detail, the way his hoodie pooled around your hips, the faint shadow of sleep still lingering in your eyes and on your pouted lips, the way you hadn’t bothered to fix your hair or hide the bare honesty of your face.

“Don't think I’ve ever seen you this early before,” he said suddenly, his voice breaking the silence, low and rumbling like distant thunder. “No makeup, no fancy clothes. Just... I don't know, man, just you.”

You looked up at him, squinting a little against the first light of dawn, and tried to muster up some kind of retort, but all you could manage was a half-hearted, sleepy smile. “Disappointed?” you teased, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Not even a little,” he said, and the sincerity in his voice hit you like a punch to the gut. He smiled, the edges of his mouth curling up in that familiar way that made your heart skip, and you found yourself smiling back without even realising it, feeling lighter and warmer than you had in a long time.

The two of you arrived at the café, footsteps slowing as you got closer. But when you reached the door, your heart sank. Not a single person lined up. The café was dark, the interior shrouded in shadows, and there, taped to the inside of the window, was a handwritten sign that read: Closed. Opens at 7 AM.

You blinked at it, still half-asleep, your shoulders slumping as disappointment settled in. “Ben,” you dragged a hand over your face before narrowing your eyes at him, “you’re telling me I could’ve slept for two more hours? I thought it'd be open sooner!”

“Hey, who needs sleep?” he said, shrugging without a hint of regret. He gestured to the empty curb across the street with a grin. “C’mon. Let’s sit it out. I’ll make the time fly right by.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. Despite the chill in the early-morning air, you settled beside him on the curb, arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you rested your chin atop your knees. The street was quiet in the way only early morning can be, just the two of you and the distant hum of a waking city.

Ben stretched his long legs out in front of him like he owned the street. There was something so easy about sitting there with him in the silence, the air crisp and the sky just beginning to lighten with the first hints of dawn. You watched the horizon, focusing on the deepening shades of indigo and pale gold, the familiar comfort of the city awakening inch by inch. It was strange how easy it was to be around him, how your guard dropped without you even noticing. His presence was effortless, and the way his eyes rested on you every now and then, like you were someone worth seeing, made you feel something you didn’t quite want to name yet.

“You know,” he murmured, a hint of his usual humour in his tone, “you’re not half bad at relaxin’ after all.”

You shot him a soft glare, lips twitching. “Are you trying to say I’m fun?”

“Hmm...I’d say a little more than fun,” he replied, his smile widening. “But let’s just leave it at that for now. At least no one’s in line, so we’ll get the best seat in the house when they do open” He glanced over to you as he leaned back on his palms.

You chuckled, glancing at the empty street. The entire street was silent, just the two of you in the quiet stillness of dawn. You relaxed a little, sinking further into the oversized hoodie that smelled like him, comforting and familiar.

After a while, he nudged you with his shoulder, his eyes up to the sky but his voice low. “You ever notice how I always seem to get you roped into these side quests of mine?” he asked, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Errands, random snack runs, you name it.”

You shot him a sideways glance, fighting back a smirk. “Oh, I’ve noticed. You have a knack for it, Ben. You’re lucky I can keep up. You nominated me for laundry duty last week too.”

He let his head back with a laugh. “Well, you’re good at it.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to help the smile that pulled at your lips. “Or maybe you’re just lazy.”

“Nah, it’s ‘cause you’re the only person who’ll actually come along for the ride,” he admitted, his gaze settling on you with a softness that made your heart skip. “Anyway… why don’t you ever bring a boyfriend along on one of these little errands? Not like you're short on admirers.”

His question caught you off guard, and you looked away, staring out at the sunrise as your thoughts turned inward. It was a topic you rarely touched, one you hadn’t even realised you’d been avoiding until now.“I don’t know,” you said softly, your voice distant and hesitant. “I guess, maybe… it’s just easier this way?”

“No one special you’re hiding from me, huh?” Ben’s tone was gentle, almost teasing, but his eyes held a genuine curiosity. He wanted to understand.

You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat. This was a part of yourself you rarely shared, a shadow you’d kept hidden for a long time. But the stillness of the morning and the warmth in his gaze tugged at something deep inside. “There was someone,” you admitted, barely above a whisper. “A while ago.”

He didn’t say anything, just watched you, the usual teasing gone, replaced by quiet patience.

“He... he liked that I had my life together, y'know? Like I was this 'go-getter,' always calm and composed,” you said, slowly letting the words surface. “Or at least, that’s what he told me. He said he liked that I wasn’t flashy and that I didn’t draw too much attention to myself. I think he appreciated my quiet confidence, and how I could go with the flow. Looking back, I think it was because he thought it made me easier to control...” You let out a short, hollow laugh that didn’t reach your eyes.

“I didn’t even realise when things shifted,” you continued, voice more firm now. “When he went from showing genuine interest to making all the decisions. It must've been gradual, but it felt like it just happened one day; I don’t know when it started. Suddenly, he was calling all the shots, and I thought I was just being a good partner. Compromising. Making space for him. Letting him be himself. But I didn’t see that, bit by bit, I was putting myself away.”

Ben’s jaw tightened, but he remained silent, his attention urging you to go on.

“He’d ignore my texts for hours, sometimes days, and then act like I was overreacting when I brought it up. But God forbid I missed one of his calls during training or when I was away on tour. If I couldn’t stay up late to talk, he’d make it into a huge deal. We’d set times to call, but he’d never follow through—and always with some lame excuse.”

You paused, drawing a deep breath, eyes fixed on a point in the distance.

“And then there were the arguments,” you said, voice tightening. “About the most impossible things—like how I didn’t spend enough time with him. How could I when I was half a world away? Or how my career always came first. He said I was boring, that I wasn’t spontaneous enough. But whenever I tried to change, there was always something else wrong. No matter what I did, it was never enough.”

Ben’s expression darkened, a flicker of frustration tightening the corners of his mouth. His hand was on the curb next to yours, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his skin—grounding you.

“Maybe he was jealous,” you said, the words almost to yourself. “That’s what my mom said. Jealous of my success, or of the fact that I had something I loved that wasn’t about him. He knew exactly how to make me feel small. Every victory, every career milestone, he’d twist it, make me feel like I was failing him. Like I was always letting him down. I thought... if I could just balance it all if I could make him happy, he’d love me the way I needed. But honestly? I don’t even know what I needed anymore, not when he was the one telling me how to feel.”

You swallowed, the bitterness of those memories heavy on your tongue.

“No matter how much I shifted or tried to be the girl he wanted, it was never enough. There was always another criticism, another reason why I wasn’t good enough. I was too selfish, too focused on my career, too indecisive, too... everything. And I believed him. I thought I was the problem. That I just couldn’t make him happy.”

A light breeze swept through the street, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, pulling your knees close as if to shield yourself from the weight of those memories.

“He was... God, Ben, you should've heard him. He was so relentless when he wanted to be. It felt like every part of my life was under a microscope, every single decision, every single choice; it was all wrong. All the things I loved, the things that made me proud, they just started to fade away, like they’d been drained of colour.”

Your voice cracked slightly, but you pushed on, finding strength in the words you’d never fully voiced before.

“I started to lose myself in a spiral. Everything felt so ... grey, so heavy like I was wading through water. I thought... isn’t this what relationships are? Compromise, sacrifice, working through the rough patches? That’s what I kept telling myself. I thought if I just tried harder, if I carried the weight for both of us, then maybe he’d be happy again, like how he was in the beginning. But I started wondering if I was even cut out for love. I mean, what does it even mean to love someone, really? All I knew was that I kept losing myself in the process, and it still wasn’t nearly enough.”

You exhaled, as the quiet of the morning felt almost too peaceful, the faint chirping of birds contrasting with the heaviness of what you were saying.

“And then he cheated,” you continued, your voice flat. “When I found out, he didn’t even try to deny it. He just looked at me, fatigued, and was like, ‘What did you expect with the way you treat me? Don’t be so naive.’ But you know what?”

You paused, a strange light creeping into your voice.

“It was almost a relief. Him cheating... it was my way out. For the first time, I had a solid, undeniable reason to leave. I didn’t have to keep convincing myself that I needed to try harder, or that it was all my fault.”

Your voice softened, carrying vulnerability.

“I don’t even know if I ever really loved him, or maybe, I don't know how to love. Maybe I just loved the idea of being loved or being enough for someone. But the truth is, I don’t think I even know what love is supposed to feel like. I gave everything I had, and it still wasn’t right, I felt so drained like a vampire had me. Maybe I’ve never felt real love, or maybe... maybe I’m just not meant for it.”

Ben’s silence was heavy beside you, his gaze unwavering, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. The shame and rawness of your words made your throat tighten, but you kept going.

“I stayed until I had nothing left to give until I got cheated on, and even then, I couldn’t tell you why. It was like I was trying to win a game I didn’t even understand. And in the end, I realised... I never even had him, not truly. I was always chasing something that wasn’t there. It was always a losing game, and I was the only one playing.”

Ben’s gaze was steady, the weight of your words hanging between you. Then he spoke, his tone warm and sincere. “You don’t deserve someone treating you like that. Not ever. I-"

He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before he continued.

"I can’t even imagine doin' that to you. You’re more than enough, you always have been. You don’t need to change a single thing for anyone. Man, I like you just the way you are because I know you, and I know you’re worth so much more than what you settled for with that dick.”

A tear slid down your cheek, carrying all the hurt you’d kept buried for so long. You weren’t crying, not really, but his words had found their way past all your defences, and something inside you softened and broke open.

“Do you really mean that?” you asked, your voice small, almost scared, your eyes searching his.

Ben’s eyes locked onto yours, and something in his expression shifted. For a moment, he seemed almost stunned, his face softening, his features melting with a tenderness that made it hard to breathe. He reached out slowly to cup your face with his hand, as if afraid you might pull away, and when you didn’t, he gently wiped the tear from your cheek. His fingers lingered, brushing against your skin with a touch so careful it made your heart ache.

“I mean every word,” he said, his voice low and steady, barely more than a whisper. “I see you, Y/N. I’ve always seen you.”

His words hit you like a wave, and the tears came faster, though still silent. Ben’s expression softened even further, and he pulled you into him without hesitation, wrapping a strong arm around you, and holding you close. You pressed your face into his shoulder, feeling the warmth and solid comfort of him, and slowly, you let yourself sink into his embrace. He didn’t speak, just rubbed your back in gentle circles, his chin resting on top of your head.

After minutes had passed when the tightness in your chest had started to fade and the early morning warmth grew warmer, you felt him smile against your hair. He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, and he said with a playful grin, “If this is all it takes to get a hug outta you, I should’ve asked sooner.”

You couldn’t help it, you let out a small, breathy laugh, rolling your eyes even as you stayed close to him, nestling your head before you lifted it up.

“Oh, shut up,” you said, smacking his shoulder lightly. “If I knew you were gonna use emotional blackmail for free hugs, I would’ve kept my distance.”

He chuckled, the sound low and comforting, and the warmth of the moment settled between you. You pulled away, wiping your face with the oversized sleeves of his old hoodie, the one that had become yours. The quiet returned, peaceful now, the sun creeping higher in the sky and washing everything in shades of soft orange and pink.

You sat together in silence, shoulder to shoulder, the pain slowly ebbing away as the world woke up around you. There was something different between you now, a shift that neither of you said out loud but both of you felt. For the first time in a long time, you felt a weight lift, and you let yourself relax against him, the silence and small conversation comfortable as you felt relief and warmth flow through you.

By the time the café finally opened, you and Ben had spent two hours huddled together as the sun began to bathe you two, and sharing quiet laughter as the world slowly woke up around you. The anticipation of the legendary breakfast had both of you giddy and a little loopy from the early start, making the time fly by.

But when the doors swung open and you finally got your hands on the much-hyped breakfast sandwiches, reality hit. The sandwiches were mediocre, wayyy too salty and the coffee was disappointingly weak. The "famous" breakfast sandwiches that Ben’s TikTok video had promised would be life-changing were, frankly, a letdown. Yet, it didn’t matter at all.

The two of you slid into a corner booth, expecting to sit across from each other, but Ben surprised you by scooting in right beside you, his thigh pressing lightly against yours. He stretched his legs out under the table, claiming the whole space as his own. You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into his warmth as you sipped your disappointing coffee.

“This is the most underwhelming breakfast I’ve ever had,” you said, crinkling your nose as you picked at the sandwich.

Ben chuckled, flashing you a mischievous grin. “Guess I owe you a better one, next time” he teased, nudging your shoulder with his.

“Damn right, you do,” you shot back with a smirk.

Ben’s arm rested casually over the back of the booth, his fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, sending shivers down your spine. Every small, careless touch, his knee nudging yours, his fingers grazing your hoodie, made it harder to ignore the fluttering in your chest. With each laugh and shared smile, you felt something shifting between you, something that made it impossible to see him as just a friend, especially after being so vulnerable earlier.

As the café started to fill with the morning crowd, you remained on the same side of the booth, your legs tangled comfortably under the table. There was an easy closeness between you now, a kind of unspoken understanding like you were sharing a secret that only the two of you knew. When he reached over to brush a crumb from your lip as you talked, his fingertips barely grazing your skin, you felt your cheeks heat and words stutter, but you didn’t pull away. The sun rose higher, streaming golden light through the café windows, and the warmth between you felt softer and more real than any disappointment over a bad breakfast. Ben’s presence was grounding, and for the first time in a very long time, you felt genuinely at ease, like the weight of your earlier conversation and all your own personal baggage had lessened, transformed into something lighter by his easy smile and gentle touch.

By the time you both decided to leave, you were still laughing over the overhyped “legendary” breakfast. As you stepped out onto the sun-drenched street, Ben’s hand slipped into yours with a light squeeze, like always, as if to say, I’m still here. I’ve got you. The simple gesture left your skin tingling, and your heart racing just a little faster.

You walked together down the slowly waking street back to the hotel, shoulder to shoulder, arms looped together, a warmth lingering between you that had nothing to do with the sunrise. The world around you was coming alive, but it felt like you were still living in that quiet, private space you'd created in the early morning hours, a small bubble of warmth and closeness that was just yours. Of course, it couldn't last long, not with training and matches coming up alongside personal commitments and whatever else, but having this quiet time together was more than rewarding.

As the café faded into the past, so did the warmth of those golden moments, but the echoes lingered. It wasn’t just the memory of his hand brushing yours or the way his laugh had chased away the lingering shadows of your conversation. It was the way he lingered, so effortlessly, so relentlessly, in the quiet spaces of your life.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him as your tour carried you to different cities. The way his hand had slipped into yours so naturally that morning replayed in your mind at the oddest times: during practice serves, mid-flight naps creeping into your peaceful dreams, even while unpacking yet another suitcase in yet another hotel room. It wasn’t like you wanted to be distracted, but Ben was everywhere, his presence stamped into your routine as if he’d always been part of it. And it seemed as though he had no intention of loosening that grip he had on your mind. Calls and messages were frequent as days blurred into one another, conversations that felt simultaneously too much and not nearly enough. Ones that'd have you squealing in bed as you reread over the texts or have you clutching your phone tight minutes after hanging up, savouring the small moments. The banter was still there, as effortless as it was grounding, but now it came with an undercurrent you couldn’t name, something unspoken threading its way through the pauses between your words. Ben became a comforting constant amid the chaos. He was always just a call or a text away, his presence a steady anchor even when everything else felt transient. And while you were grateful for the familiarity, it didn’t stop the butterflies that erupted every time his name lit up your phone.

Like tonight.

After a gruelling match and a hurried dinner that barely counted as a meal, you finally collapsed onto the hotel bed. The quiet of the room felt foreign after the noise of the day, but it was a relief until your phone buzzed on the nightstand. The call started with Ben’s face filling the screen, eyebrows raised and a smirk already in place.

“Hey, stranger,” he smiled in a sing-song tone.

“Oh, spare me,” you said, rolling your eyes but smiling despite yourself.

" 'Spare me?' ” Ben scoffed, kicking back and grinning at the screen. “Girl, you’re acting like you’re the only one with a rough schedule. What’ve you been up to? Post-match feast, or just a sad granola bar?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Neither. Quick and quiet dinner after the match, some bland pasta with a wilted salad, the usual. Real glamorous stuff.You already back to your hotel?”

“Hours ago,” he said. “Caught the highlights of your match, though. That backhand winner down the line? Chef’s kiss.” He mimed a dramatic kiss to the camera. “You’re out here stealing the show.”

“Please,” you said, rolling your eyes, and shrugging. “It wasn’t even my best match. I’ll take a win, though.”

“Don’t be modest,” Ben teased. “Meanwhile, my highlights reel was probably just me sweating buckets with my shirt clinging to me and yelling after missing a forehand.”

You smirked. “Nah, you’re too busy being ‘America’s tennis heartthrob.’ I’m sure your fangirls don’t even notice the double faults.”

Ben groaned, throwing his head back. “Not this again.”

“Oh, come on,” you grinned, teasing him. “Tall, built, All-American golden boy? I’m shocked they haven’t made you into a wax figure yet! ATP should get on that, the more I think about it.”

He leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. “Is the golden boy charm working on you?”

You blinked, caught off guard, furrowing your brows. “What..? No. Shut up!”

Ben chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “Hey, I was just checking. You're the one who brought it up.”

“Yeah, well…” you said, flustered, fumbling for a comeback. “I mean, I guess it’s a little funny. The way they’re all obsessed with you, I mean.”

He smirked. “Smooth save.”

“Whatever,” you muttered, looking away. “At least you’re not lonely on tour. You’ve got Bryan. Built-in travel buddy.”

Ben scrunched his face up. “Oh yeah, great idea! Let me just grab dinner with my dad after a match so he can spend two hours lecturing me about footwork and his ‘good ol’ days.’ ”

You laughed, before breaking into a pout. “Poor, poor Bryan. He just wants to hang out with his son, and you’re out here running from him.”

“I’m not running,” Ben said defensively. “I’m…um, strategically avoiding.”

“Sure you are.”

“And anyway, no one here’s like you,” he added, his tone casual but his gaze steady.

That caught you off guard. “Yeah-w-what?”

Ben’s smirk deepened. “Don’t choke now. Where’s that quick wit of yours?”

“Shut it,” you groaned, your face heating up as you pressed your face into the mattress.

“Aw, you’re blushing,” he teased, leaning closer to the camera. “Cat really got your tongue this time, huh?”

“Ben, I swear to God,” you said, groaning and burying your face in your hands and dropping the phone.

He laughed, clearly triumphant. “It’s okay, you’ll get me back at the charity doubles event in a few months. I’m counting on you to carry me.”

“Carry you?” you said, grateful for the change in topic. “I thought you were the unstoppable Ben Shelton. 'Big serves, big shots.’ "

“Yeah, yeah, but doubles is different,” he said with a shrug. “Doubles is all about teamwork. I’ll take your instructions. Like Federer and Mirka, except, y’know, cooler.”

You laughed. “Cooler? That’s a bold claim.”

“Why not?” he said, spreading his arms wide. “They’re classy, they’re unstoppable, and they look good doing it. That’s us, right? Total power couple energy.”

“Power couple?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“On the court,” he clarified with a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it professional.”

“You’d better,” you muttered, shaking your head, though you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

As the call ended and the screen faded to black, you lingered in the quiet of your room, your pulse still racing in the aftermath of his teasing grin. Your fingers traced the necklace at your throat, the metal cool under your touch, but the memory it carried, the warmth of his hands, the way his eyes had softened when he fastened it, made your chest feel full and tight all at once.

You had to admit, Ben Shelton was infuriatingly good at leaving you in this liminal space, caught somewhere between wanting to roll your eyes and wanting to let yourself fall completely into whatever this was becoming.

With a sigh, you pushed yourself off the bed and rifled through your suitcase, finding his hoodie tucked neatly inside. It was a lifeline, an anchor to him when the distance felt like too much. The fabric was soft against your cheek as you hugged it to your chest, his scent faint but unmistakable, as if he were still there, filling the room with his easy laughter and ridiculous charm. It was almost maddening how easily he got under your skin, how his words lingered long after the call had ended, tangling themselves with your thoughts and leaving you guessing.

Was he just being Ben? The not-knowing was intoxicating in its own way, a thrill and torment that made your stomach flutter and your mind race long into the night until you could fall asleep, and even then, he graced your dreams with his warmth that you could never get enough of.

For Ben, the feelings weren’t any simpler. He leaned back against his hotel bed, the phone still warm in his hand, the smile he’d worn during the call refusing to fade. You always had this way of leaving him grinning like an idiot, proud of his one-liners that caught you off guard but tonight felt different. He loved catching you off guard, how you’d try to fire back some clever retort only to stammer and fall silent, just like the first time he met you. It wasn’t just funny to him; it was endearing, that quiet vulnerability you didn’t even seem to notice. And God, you were beautiful, even in that post-match haze, hair damp and face free of makeup, exhaustion softening your edges in a way that only made you look more real, more you. He wished he could've seen you in person; he could stare at you like that for hours and still turn back for a second glimpse, never getting enough.

He sighed, rolling onto his side as his fingers hovered over a photo on his camera roll, the one where you weren’t looking, too focused on a menu, brow furrowed like the decision was life or death, another one of you in his car, casually on your phone, followed by another photo and another. He couldn’t help it; his chest tightened at the memory of moments like that, the way you made the chaos of his life feel lighter. Then there were the little things: the protein bar with your teasing note that you threw in his bag during a practice one time, or the way you seemed to know exactly when to check in when you could read how he honestly was.

It scared him sometimes, how easily you crept into his thoughts, how much he wanted to be the reason you smiled the way you had tonight. And yet, even as the thought tightened in his chest, Ben smiled again, already counting down the days until he’d see you at the charity event, knowing it just couldn't come sooner.

The atmosphere at the event was electric, a blend of effortless fun and star-studded tennis. Neon lights pulsed along the edges of the court, casting playful shadows on the buzzing crowd as a DJ spun upbeat tracks that thrummed in your chest and made the ground pulse. It was far from a serious tournament, more like a party on a tennis court, where fans and players mingled, indulging in casual games and champagne-laced banter.

You smoothed down your navy skirt, the silky white bow in your hair fluttering lightly as you stepped into the tunnel, the buzz of conversation growing louder. A little blush, a sweep of mascara, and a touch of concealer made you look radiant but understated; the only jewellery you wore was the rose-gold necklace Ben had gotten you, gleaming softly against your collarbones under the venue’s lights.

“Ready to dazzle?” another player teased as she passed by, her racket slung lazily over her shoulder. You shot her a grin, zipping up your bag as you mentally prepared for the night ahead. But before you could take another step with your bag now slung over your arm, a hand wrapped gently around your wrist, tugging you back into the shadowed corner of the tunnel.

You turned quickly, your startled expression melting into a mixture of exasperation and amusement when you saw Ben. He was leaning against the wall, grinning like he’d been waiting for this exact moment.

“Subtle as always,” you teased, arching a brow, even as your chest tightened slightly at the sight of him. It had been months, and somehow, he looked the same but different, more confident, more composed, yet just as unmistakably Ben.

He tilted his head, his grin spreading slowly. “What can I say? I like to make an entrance.”

“By sneaking up on me?” you quipped, folding your arms but unable to stop the small smile tugging at your lips.

“Better than yelling, don’t you think?” He pushed off the wall, stepping closer, his presence filling the space between you. For a moment, the noise of the crowd outside felt distant, the thrum of music fading into the background.

He let his eyes roam, taking in the bow in your hair and the soft gleam of the necklace he’d picked out weeks ago. “You look…” He trailed off, his voice softer now, tinged with something he wasn’t saying. “I mean, wow.”

You felt your cheeks flush, the warmth crawling up your neck as you shifted on your feet. “Don’t start, Shelton,” you muttered, though your voice lacked any conviction.

“What? It’s a compliment.” His tone dipped, quiet but teasing, as he leaned just enough for you to catch the faint scent of his cologne. “Guess I forgot how good you clean up...y'know while still bein' all proper.”

You tried for a quick, witty comeback, but the words stumbled and caught in your throat when his eyes met yours again, warm and intent. It was like he saw through the polished image you’d carefully put together for tonight, straight to the version of you he knew best: messy hair, sweat-soaked, exhausted after a match.

“Ben...” you started, voice faltering as he smiled.

“Missed this,” he murmured, stepping even closer as he studied your face, his gaze lingering on your lips. “Missed you.”

The simplicity of it hit harder than you expected, your breath catching as he pulled you into a tight hug without hesitation. His arms wrapped around you with a sure, steady strength that made your chest ache, one hand splayed against your upper back, the other resting lightly at your waist, rubbing up and down with his thumb. Your cheek pressed into his shoulder as you let yourself lean in, your arms slipping around him.

You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach him properly, your nose brushing the soft skin of his neck. He smelled faintly of cologne and something clean, and when he bent slightly to press his face against your hair, the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down your spine.

Neither of you said anything at first; the hug lingered just long enough to toe the line between friendly and something more.

“Alright, lovebirds,” a voice called from behind, breaking the moment. You glanced over to see Tommy Paul strolling by with a smirk, holding a tennis racket slung over one shoulder. “Save it for the courts.”

You pulled back quickly, a small laugh spilling out despite yourself. Ben groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Ignore him,” he muttered, his other hand still resting lightly on your waist.

You shook your head, biting back a smile as you looked up at him. “Guess I should’ve known you’d bring your fan club with you.”

Ben chuckled, his thumb brushing against your side before he let his hand drop. “They’re just jealous,” he teased. Then, his grin turned sharper, more mischievous. “Besides, you’re Mirka tonight, remember? That makes me Federer.”

You rolled your eyes, already turning back toward the tunnel’s exit. “Then let’s hope you’re half as good on the court as he is.”

His laugh followed you, rich and unbothered. “Careful, Mirka, I might just have to prove it to you out there.”

You smirked, stepping forward toward the light of the court. “Right. I'll see you out there, Federer.”

Ben chuckled low behind you, the sound carrying as he followed. “Better bring your A-game, Mirka.”

You both stepped into the event space, the pulse of music and hum of voices a vibrant backdrop. A waiter with a tray of champagne flutes passed by, and Ben grabbed two, handing you one. “For courage?” he teased, raising a brow.

“Or patience,” you countered with a cheeky smile, clinking your glass against his before taking a sip. The bubbles tickled your throat, a pleasant warmth settling in your chest.

The two of you drifted toward the edge of the court, lingering for a moment to take in the scene. Fans were scattered around, some waving excitedly as they noticed you both, others engrossed in their own games. The energy in the air was contagious.

“You nervous?” Ben asked, glancing down at you, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned closer.

You scoffed lightly, tilting your head toward him. “Pfft, not even a little. You?”

“Only about carrying you,” he shot back with a teasing grin.

You laughed, a genuine, carefree sound that had him grinning even wider. “Big talk for someone who hasn’t even warmed up yet.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” he said, taking a sip from his glass, his eyes never leaving yours. “Trust, I’m plenty warm now.”

The look he gave you was so direct, so warm, it sent a shiver down your spine. For a second, you almost forgot where you were, his gaze holding you in place. Then, with a soft laugh, you shook your head. “Careful, Shelton. I might start to think you’re flirting with me.”

“And if I am?” he replied, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.

You didn’t answer, the sudden heat in your cheeks making you glance away. But Ben stepped closer, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse quicken. “You’re kinda cute when you’re quiet, you know that?”

“I’m not quiet,” you retorted, though the slight stumble in your voice only made his grin deepen.

He shook his head before he got pulled into some conversation, the night stretching out with laughs. It wasn't long before it was your turn on the courts with Ben for mixed doubles with fans. The game was as lighthearted as the crowd’s energy, every point a mix of banter, champagne-fueled laughter, and effortless coordination between you and Ben. You didn’t know if it was the bubbly coursing through your veins or just the sheer ease of being around him, but the nerves that usually gripped you on a court had dissolved into something bolder, something exhilarating.

“Hey! Didn’t know you could slice like that,” Ben teased, coming up beside you after you returned a tricky serve with a clean, low shot. His grin was wide, boyish, and entirely too charming.

“Didn’t know you cared enough to notice,” you quipped back, tossing him a look over your shoulder.

His laugh was low, his eyes sparkling under the court lights. “Oh, I notice. Don’t worry about that.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away as he moved to stand closer, his shoulder brushing yours. A fan on the opposite side sent the ball flying long, and you let out a small cheer, reaching up for a high five. His palm smacked yours, but instead of letting go, his fingers lingered, curling slightly against yours to hold your hand in his big one as he leaned down just enough for only you to hear.

“Careful now,” he murmured, his voice dipping, his thumb grazing your palm. “Don’t make me think I need to keep you around full-time.”

Your stomach flipped, and you blinked up at him, thrown off by the sudden softness in his tone. “Keep up the compliments, Shelton, and I might start thinking you’re sweet.”

“I can be sweet,” he said, his grin turning a little cocky as he finally released your hand. “But only when you’re around.”

You were saved from having to respond by the start of the next point, though your heart was far too distracted to focus properly. Ben, however, didn’t seem fazed, his energy casual and relaxed as he sent a gentle lob to the next fan on the rotation. Between rallies, he wandered back to your side of the court, resting his hand briefly on the small of your back, rubbing it softly. The touch was fleeting, but it left a trail of warmth in its wake.

As you finished another easy point, Ben jogged toward you. “So, is this your strategy? Win them over with that slice and then charm me into doing all the work?”

You laughed, spinning your racket in your hand. “Oh, puh-lease. I’m doing most of the carrying here, Ben. Admit it, you’d be lost without me.”

“Lost? Nah.” He stepped closer, his voice dropping just a fraction. “Distracted? Definitely.”

Your breath caught, the weight of his gaze lingering longer than it should have. But before you could respond, another cheer from the crowd broke the moment. He stepped back, grinning as though he hadn’t just thrown your heart into overdrive.

By the end of the set, the champagne had smoothed the edges of your usual reserve, and the energy between you both crackled with something unspoken but undeniable. When you reached for another high-five after the final point, he caught your hand and tugged gently, pulling you just a step closer this time.

“We got a nice win,” he murmured, his eyes flicking down to yours.

“Mhm, and I got a nice partner,” you replied, the words falling out before you could think better of them.

His grin softened, his hand brushing lightly against your lower back again. “Careful. I might start thinking you’re trying to charm me.”

“And if I am?” you shot back, your eyes coy and big as your newfound confidence was fueled by the buzz in your veins and the way he was looking at you as if no one else in the world mattered.

Ben’s laughter was warm and rich, a blush spreading across his cheeks that wasn't just from the game. The way his eyes stayed locked on yours said everything. “Then I’d say it’s working.”

As the event wound down, you and Ben exchanged a few last high-fives with the fans. The laughter and excitement of the crowd hung in the air, but as the noise began to settle, there was a familiar, charged silence between you two. The playful teasing, the flirty glances, it was all still there, but now it had a weight to it as if the evening had somehow shifted to a different gear.

Ben caught up to you as you started to make your way toward the exit, his smile flashing as he fell into step beside you. "So, what do you think?" he asked, voice low and teasing. "Pizza? Just us? The rest are going to a restaurant downtown, but I thought we could hang out n' catch up."

You raised an eyebrow, the suggestion making your heart skip a beat. There was something about the idea of more time with him, just the two of you, that sent a rush through your chest. “Pizza?” you repeated, the buzz from the champagne still swirling inside you, but now mixing with a touch of curiosity. “After all that, you want to drag me to some random pizza joint?”

Ben grinned, his eyes full of mischief. "It's not random. It’s a little hidden gem, just a few blocks away. Trust me, it's worth it. You won’t find better pizza around here, Ben approved.”

You glanced at him, your internal struggle between teasing him and playing it cool warring inside you. There was something in the way he said it, an undeniable charm in his voice that made you want to go. The idea of quiet, easy conversation with him, without the crowd, the friends and the noise, felt too good to pass up.

"Alright, fine," you said, rolling your eyes but giving in. "But if this place turns out to be some dive with soggy crust, I’m blaming you.”

Ben laughed, his grin widening. “Deal. You’ll love it, though. I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

The two of you began walking down the street, and the air between you seemed to settle into something new, something more intimate. The world around you felt quieter now, each step taking you farther from the noise of the event and closer to something more personal. With every step, the liquid courage from the champagne seemed to melt away, leaving behind a fluttery, almost nervous feeling in your chest. Maybe it was the lingering heat from the flirting, or maybe it was just that you were walking with him, alone.

“So,” you asked, trying to keep it light, but your curiosity bubbled through, “how many people do you drag to these random pizza spots, Ben?”

He chuckled at that, his eyes flicking over to you for a brief moment, amused. “Honestly? Not many. You’re the first one, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow, surprised. “Really? I’m the first person you’ve brought here?”

Ben shrugged casually, his grin widening with the playfulness that was so typical of him. “I don’t usually do this kind of thing. But when I find a place this good, I kinda want to share it with someone who'd 'ppreciate it, someone who's... worth it.”

His words hung in the air, and for a split second, everything between you seemed to be still. You could feel the warmth in your chest, the closeness between you suddenly feeling charged. You fought the urge to let it show, instead meeting his gaze with a playful grin.

“Well, lucky me, huh?”

“Lucky you,” Ben echoed, and his voice softened just enough that you noticed. He turned slightly toward you, his pace matching yours, steady and relaxed.

By the time you reached the pizza place, the small talk had faded into a comfortable silence, both of you still trying to make sense of whatever was happening between you. You hadn’t crossed any line yet, but with every moment, it felt more inevitable that something was to change. As you walked inside the tiny pizzeria, the smell of fresh baked goods hit you immediately. The cozy, intimate atmosphere felt like a world away from the high-energy chaos of the event. Ben led you to the counter, and even though the tension between you was still palpable, it had shifted. It was no longer the playful, teasing kind of tension, it was something else. Something unspoken, but undeniable.

You had no idea where this was heading, but with Ben by your side, you were curious to find out.

You walk back toward the venue, the buzz of the event now a distant memory, stomachs full from the pizza that somehow tasted better than it had any right to. The tiny pizzeria, tucked away in a quiet corner, had been the perfect escape. The laughter that had flowed freely while you ate had washed away the tension and the drunken buzz that had clung to you both all night. It had been easy, lighthearted, comfortable, like nothing had changed, even though everything had.

As the two of you strolled back under the glow of the streetlights, a comfortable silence settled between you. The air was cool, a light breeze weaving through the night. The only sound was the rhythm of your shoes on the pavement. Yet, inside, you both felt the weight of what hadn’t been said.

Ben’s hands were stuffed in his pockets as he kept pace with you, his easy stride matching yours. But something had shifted in him, his smile softer, his eyes more attentive as he glanced at you. “You look really good tonight, you know that?”

You laughed lightly, rolling your eyes as you shook your head. “Ben, you keep saying that,” you teased, “What’s the deal with you tonight? You want something?”

He grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners, genuine and unguarded. “Nah, I'm just sayin' 'cause it’s true,” he said, a slight shrug of his shoulders. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

Your stomach fluttered, the compliment hitting you harder than you expected. You’d heard him say things like that before, but tonight? There was something different in the way he said it. Something quieter, more sincere.

“Okay, okay,” you said with a grin, trying to mask the effect his words had on you. “I get it, I look good. Thank you.” You laughed at yourself, but Ben’s gaze never wavered from you.

Ben chuckled, his tone light but steady. “I mean it,” he repeated softly, then added, “And that necklace we got... It’s perfect for you, made for you. Looks really good on you.”

You touched the pendant on the necklace, the one he had picked out for you earlier, and it felt foreign now. Warmer, more meaningful, like it was holding a piece of the night with it. “I think you’re just saying that to flatter me,” you teased.

“I’m not,” he said seriously, his voice dropping slightly. “You really do look good. I mean you’ve always looked good, but tonight... I dunno, it’s sumn' else.”

You caught the sincerity in his words, and your heart thumped a little harder. Ben, usually the jokester, was being serious now. “Well,” you said, your voice almost breathless, “Thank you. I’ll take it.”

He smiled, a playful glint in his eyes still there, but it was softer. “Of course.”

There was a long pause as you walked side by side. The city’s lights flickered around you, the hum of the night settling into a comfortable silence. But then, something shifted. You couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“So, Ben…” you started, your voice tentative. “Are you like this with every girl you meet?”

His stride faltered for just a second, and he turned to look at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean, like ‘this’?”

“Flirty,” you let out a breath at your boldness, a teasing edge in your voice. “Like making everyone feel like they’re the only one. Are you always so... charming?” You paused, gathering your courage. “You do this with every girl?”

Ben stopped walking, his hands sliding out of his pockets as he processed your words. He tilted his head, studying your face before shaking his head.

“What girl do I have around me or talk to, besides you, Emma and my mom?” His voice was calm, but there was an honesty in it that made your chest tighten. “You’re the only girl I ever talk to like this, spend time with. So no, not every girl.”

You blinked, surprised. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really.” He looked at you like you were asking the most obvious question. “You think I’m like this with every girl I meet? I only talk to you like this.”

That honesty hit you harder than you expected, your breath catching. You hadn’t realized how much you’d assumed about him until now. His words made your heart race.

You glanced up at him, trying to make sense of it all. But his expression said everything you needed to know.

“Yeah, duh, c'mon, Y/N” he grinned, a sincere, slightly confused smile spreading across his face. “What makes you think I’d mess around like that? It’s only you.”

You stopped walking, your mind racing as his words sank in. “Wait,” you said, a disbelieving smile spreading across your face, though your brow furrowed. “You’re telling me, you don’t talk to anyone else like this? You don’t hang out with other girls?”

Ben chuckled softly, his hands back in his pockets, but his eyes serious as he looked at you. “Nah, you’re the only one I ask to hang with. You’re the only one I text first when I’m on tour. You’re the one I call to mess around with.” He smiled like he was telling you the simplest truth in the world. “So yeah, it’s just you.”

You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding in your chest. Every word Ben had said felt like it was pulling you under, a current that you could no longer fight. You hadn’t realised how much you needed to hear him say those things until the weight of them hit you, until his words finally opened the floodgates in your chest, making your heart pound. Could it be that he valued you just as much as you did him? You let out a slow breath, the air feeling heavier now like you were standing on the edge of something monumental.

“Ben…” you whispered as you halted in your tracks, your voice unsteady but determined, a sigh escaping your lips.

It didn’t make sense. You’d always assumed Ben had people around him, always figured he was surrounded by fans or other girls, but hearing him say that you were the one, the only one, hit you in a way you hadn’t expected. You opened your mouth to try to verbalise the swirling thoughts in your head, but the words stuck, so instead, you let the silence sit between you. Then, Ben took a slow step closer, his tone shifting from casual to something more serious.

“Can I be honest with you?” His voice was lower now, the playful edge that usually made everything feel light gone.

You nodded before you could even stop yourself, feeling your heartbeat thud in your chest. There was no going back now, not with the way he looked at you.

He took a deep breath before he began, looking down the street before turning to face you.

“I like you,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “Like, I really like you.” His gaze held yours, unwavering. “I know it’s probably not the best time to say it with everything going on, with our tours and us barely seein’ each other, but I can’t just let this hang on. I can’t just let it pass and regret not saying somethin’ later. I’m not that dumb.”

He exhaled like he was trying to shake off the weight of what he had just confessed, looking at you like he was unsure whether you would run or stay.

“You’ve got this way of, like... pullin’ me in, y’know? I don’t even know what to do with myself most of the time. I try to act like it's all cool like I’m just messin' around, but I can’t stop thinkin' about you, ever. And I never thought I’d be the kind of guy who gets wrapped up in somethin' like this. But here I am.”

You blinked, not sure if your heart was beating too fast or too slow. His confession hung in the air, heavier than anything either of you had said before. It was raw, and it made your chest tighten.

“I know we got months apart, and I know you probably think I’m crazy for sayin’ this now, but I had to say it.” He took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just... It’s just you.”

You stood still for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. The weight of his confession settled over you, his words still hanging in the air, thick with meaning. Your heart raced, and you could feel your pulse at your fingertips as you tried to process everything he had just shared. Ben took another step closer, inches away from you, his eyes never leaving yours. There was an intensity in his gaze that made everything feel surreal like you were the only two people in the world. His voice softened as he spoke again, this time with more emotion than before, his words raw and unguarded.

“You know,” he started, his drawl even more pronounced now, “ever since we first met, I wanted to be in your circle. I wanted to be around you, be close to you. But when I saw you with that necklace, and my hoodie, laughin’ and lookin’ up at me like that, God, Y/N, swear I could feel my heart meltin’ right then. I don’t even know how to explain it. It just felt like... I dunno, like everything clicked.” He paused, his breath catching as if he was just now realizing how much those little moments had meant to him.

“And when you told me about your ex, Jesus, I wanted to-” He cut himself off, a flash of anger flickering in his eyes, but he quickly controlled it. “I wanted to kill that son of a-” He stopped himself again, shaking his head as if shaking off the anger.

“Not that it matters. But what matters is that I want to show you what real love is. What real care feels like. What a real man’s like, y’know?” His voice dropped even lower, barely above a whisper. “What you deserve, and then some.”

He leaned in slightly, his hand instinctively reaching for yours, fingers brushing lightly, but lingering longer than necessary.

“Hell, if you gave me a chance, even, just, like, 20 minutes?” He let out a breath, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, but there was no humour behind it, only sincerity. “I’d give you the world, and more, in that short time. Until you told me enough. But I need you to know that... it’s real. It’s all real, Y/N. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t.”

You stood frozen, your mouth slightly parted, trying to catch your breath. His words hit you like a wave, each sentence making your heart race faster, your chest tightening as the weight of everything he said settled into your bones. You couldn’t speak for a second, lost in the gravity of what he had just revealed. The vulnerability, the truth in his eyes, the way his words laid bare a side of him you hadn’t seen before, it was all too much, and yet everything you hadn’t realized you wanted.

A sigh escaped your lips as the words came tumbling out of you.

“You have no idea what you do to me.” You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping you, but it was one of relief, one of release. “You drive me insane, Ben. Every time you’re around, every time you look at me like that, like I’m the only one in the room, it makes me feel things I’m not sure I know how to handle. I can’t even explain it to myself, let alone to you. It’s like I’m constantly trying to push it down, but every time you smile, or, God, when you do that thing with your eyes when you look at me like you’re the only one who really sees me…” You trailed off, the words too big to say all at once. You exhaled, shaking your head, but the relief was already washing over you. “I’ve never felt like this before. Not even close.”

Ben was quiet for a moment, his gaze softening as he listened. You could see the understanding in his eyes, the way he was holding back, yet completely tuned in to every word. It was different now. You felt his grip on your fingers tighten just slightly as if grounding both of you at this moment, a silent assurance that you weren’t alone in this confession.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low and gentle. “You don’t have to hold back with me.” He stepped closer, his other hand lifting to gently cradle your face, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a slow, deliberate motion that made your breath hitch. “I’ve felt it too. All of it. Every damn time I’m with you, I can’t stop thinkin’ about how much I want this. Want you.”

Before you could respond, before you could even process the depth of his words, Ben pulled you in, unable to hold back anymore. His lips found yours with a sudden, overwhelming intensity that took the air from your lungs. His kiss was deep, full of everything that had been unspoken between you two for so long, full of everything you needed and more. His hand at the back of your neck held you steady as his other arm wrapped around you, pulling you flush against him, the warmth of his body sending a wave of heat through you.

The late night wrapped around you like a blanket, the streetlights casting soft pools of light across the footpath, but it was the brick wall behind you that grounded you. Your back pressed against it, your hands instinctively finding his shirt, tugging him closer as if you couldn’t get enough. You felt his heartbeat against yours, steady and strong, in sync with the way your pulse quickened in response to him. Ben’s lips moved against yours with a kind of desperate gentleness, his kiss unhurried but passionate and purposeful, as if he was trying to pour everything he hadn’t said into this single moment. The world felt far away, all that existed was him and you, the weight of his confession still settling in the space between you, the understanding, the desire.

When he finally pulled back, it was only enough for your lips to part, breaths mingling between you, your chest rising and falling as if you had just run a marathon. His forehead rested against yours, and his hands slid from your face to the small of your back, holding you steady as you both tried to catch your breath.

You were still tangled up in the magic of his kiss, in the rawness of this moment, where everything finally made sense. The world seemed to slow down as you both stood there, foreheads pressed together. The air between you was thick with something unspoken, your breaths were still heavy, your heart racing, but there was also a quiet sense of relief as if you’d both been holding your breath for the longest time.

Ben leaned in slightly, his smile playful yet soft, his gaze locking with yours as the quiet of the night settled around you. "You know," he said, his voice low and teasing, "for the first time, you’ve got me completely speechless."

You couldn’t help but giggle at the silliness of it all, the way he always knew just how to make you laugh, how to make everything feel lighter. The sound of your laugh made his gummy smile widen, and before he could say anything else, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, your heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with the night or the streetlights around you. It was just him.

Everything felt right at that moment, the electricity in the air, the warmth of his touch, and the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the world. Maybe you and Ben didn't make much sense together to everyone else, but to the two of you, it was clear as day.

[seffen]

It's been a long time since they've been here.In fact, I've been cold to them for a long time. But recently, at my leisure, I decided to remember them, it was nice.

It's been a long time and I've been able to rethink a lot of the stories, but the main points in the story remain, and I'd like to tell them. But I strongly doubt that I have the patience to draw it all.

Shamura is still one of my favorites. I wanted to make him the most controversial character. I drew his image when there was still no crown on his head.

I remember Shawmura saying he caught his crown in a net, this prompted me to headcanon that his crown was not meant for him. I've had this headcanon for a very long time, and in the early artwork you can see that Shawarma uses a regular spear and doesn't use the crown due to the fact that he couldn't quite curb it. But it's worth saying that later on he was able to curb it like no mortal would be able to. I can say that Sharuma had very high self-esteem when he was young.

Callamar, I think he's getting unduly neglected. And I don't like that he's portrayed solely as a coward. I like that he can be very cunning and very self-loving. And I wanted to revisit one point in his story. I wrote earlier that he was relatively at ease with the role of a mortal, but now I think that's not true. To explain, Kallamar as well as Leshy and Narinder were gods from childhood, from early childhood, because of this their adaptation was the most difficult and one could say unbearable. Imagine being on top all your life and losing everything in one moment, it's very difficult and the only happy moment is that Kallamar is alive.

And I can also see that Kallamar has various hobbies that would seem strange or creepy to many people and all of them would be about bodies and their insides. Given that Kallamar personified disease he had a lot of medical knowledge, simply because his region was the most commonly affected by it, and because Kallamar was very hard to please as a god. But we should not forget that he was primarily a god of disease, not medicine. Under him, in general, it is better not to bring up these topics at all or risk repeating the experience of Tom Cardy's poor guy from Red Flags.

I love Hekat. I share those who see her as strong, independent and very responsible. The way in the game itself she was ahead of all her brothers as if taking everything upon herself after Shamura received the head grass. Also, according to her headcanon, she received her crown like Sharuma already at a conscious age and she managed to live in the settlement and was a loyal follower. This experience, as for me, made her more down to earth, even though her character was hot-tempered.

If we talk about her life before the crown, then even before that Hecate was a respected woman. She was one of the students, and her word was very important. Because of this, she was also very popular among men, although none of her marriages were successful, and not because of bad relationships. Those years were very difficult times for the gods and this also affected the followers. You can say that there were difficulties with survival.

Now, you could say she is on a well-deserved vacation, although at first she helped her brothers adapt for some time, but still, despite how difficult it was for them, they are no longer children and she is tired of dragging them by the hand everywhere.

Well, and Leshy, the youngest. I can't say anything new. Those who have seen it before know that in my universe he has a daughter from a yellow cat. I would like to devote more time to his spouse. Something that I would also rewrite and change my mind a bunch of times. He is definitely not as simple as he seems. I had an idea with a breakup, but it is too large-scale and I repeat that I am not sure that I can implement it. I can say that the cat is not local and has not lived in the lands of the ancient faith for most of his life, he came from distant islands that are his native home. The main reason why he swam away from Tula is that he is wanted there and if he is caught, he faces capital punishment.

I guess that's all for now. I would write more, but there's already a lot of text here.

And there is no Narinder here. I just didn't want to draw him, maybe next time.

[anakin-skywalker-always]

Fluffy 🌸 with Clone Wars Anakin please? 🥺🥺 with maybe Ahsoka and Obi-Wan shipping them?

The Long Game

Pairing: Clone Wars Era!Anakin x Jedi!Knight Reader 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: Nothing too bad, but due to the nature of the Clone Wars obviously there is potential mentions of death/loss/wounds etc. I am Australian and therefore swear words aren’t worth a warning for me, but I shall place a warning here regardless. As always, let me know if you think there should be something listed here. 

Words: 1.5k - sorry its very short, I'm hoping a part 2 will be requested <3

Author’s Notes: ahhhhh! Thank you for the request @darthgloris I hope this is okay I had a brief idea and I ran with it, hope its still fluffy enough for you! 🥰 This was requested via my Emoji Request Prompts

Anakin was nothing if not arrogant, egotistical and, surprisingly talented to boot. As a youngling he excelled, as a Padawan learner he saved Senator and friend Padmé Amidala’s life more than once. Now, as General Skywalker, Anakin felt like he had grown into himself, grown into his power. It felt limitless, he was limitless. Anakin often had dreams of spreading himself thin, extending his power across the galaxy like a blanket, keeping everyone and everything safe.

He thought highly of himself, it wasn’t a secret. And, he didn’t think it was particularly a problem. He was the Chosen One, was he not? If anyone in the Jedi Temple was allowed to peacock a bit, it was him. 

Well, that’s how Anakin rationalised it to himself anyway. Besides, Anakin did not like playing the long game. What was the point when he could sieze everything he wanted now? 

Regardless, he had a sharp learning curve when it came to his own Padawan learner, Ashoka Tano. The snippy young girl challenged him more than most. He saw so much of himself in her, the power, the strength, the raw talent. Frustratingly, Anakin saw his faults in her too. Occasionally, the arrogance being something that Anakin couldn’t ignore. Like right now for example. 

“Please Kestis the only reason you were moved from youngling to Padawan,” Ashoka paused, pointing her spoon at her young red-headed friend. “Is because the council wanted to try and mellow out your Master with the responsibility of a child.” 

Anakin cringed as the young boy - Cal Kestis - pouted at the breakfast table. Anakin could sense Obi-wan’s displeasure from beside him, he saw his old master holding his tongue, allowing Anakin to take the floor in order to berate his Padawan. 

Unfortunately, she had a point. And, embarrassingly enough, Ashoka’s argument came straight from the kitchen, so they say. Well, his mother, Shmi, used to say. Anakin remembered expressing the same frustration only a few weeks prior. Jedi Knight, Jedi Master, Council member and friend, Y/N L/N, was unable to join Anakin and Ashoka on a crucial mission in the outer rim, due to the passover of her new, young apprentice: Cal Kestis. It perhaps wasn’t the most fair or patient thing for Anakin to do, but he blamed the boy and focused all of his frustration on the twelve-year-old. 

Fuck it, Anakin thought. He had to admit to himself, he was a little jealous of the boy. He could not help but want to be the center of your attention, at all times. Which isn’t a very Jedi thing to want. But Anakin wanted more. He always did. He always felt distracted, like he was slipping away from his mental fortitude the more he thought of you. You were playing some kind of long game with him, and he didn’t like it, the guessing, the pining - it all kept him up at night more than the war had. 

Anakin supposed he was ought to be worried about it, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He pined after you, and all he wanted was for you to maybe, even consider him more than a work colleague. 

“Ahsoka.” Anakin said sternly, as he pushed his Jedi mandated food around his Jedi mandated plate with his Jedi mandated fork, not bothering to look up at his young charge. “Watch your snippy mouth.” 

“She’s not wrong, Master.” Meekly, Cal Kestis mirrored General Skywalker across the table. Anakin felt for the young boy then. Anakin looked up, finally taking in the boy. With his fiery hair and splattering of freckles across his face, he seemed inherently sad, with his lips held tight in a line. Anakin couldn’t help but remember the same expression on his own face as he made his way around Watto’s junkyard. 

“Do you not like your Master, young Kestis?” Obi-wan sensed Anakin’s mind was far, far away, the anxiety rolling off him in thick waves. 

Cal looked up, quickly, at the two Jedi knights in front of him. He felt like he was in shock, as if the air had been torn from his lungs. Of all the questions he expected to be asked, that was not one of them. 

“No!” Cal defended, adamantly. “No! Well yes!” The young Padawan could feel the heat rise to his pale face, heating the back of his neck. General Kenobi quirked an eyebrow at the boy, urging him to continue. Kestis sighed, gathering his thoughts once more. He was embarrassed. “I am afraid I am too attached to Master L/N.” He started. Anakin felt his lip twitch, fighting a smile at the honesty from the young learner. Cal continued, “I don’t want to let her down, but my lightsaber skills are not where she wants them to be, I need more training but I am afraid to ask.” 

From the corner of his eye Anakin watched as Obi-wan opened his mouth. He knew what his old master would say: Just ask, Padawan. That is what the master is there for, to teach. But Anakin knew what it felt like to want more. 

“I would be happy to provide you with additional combat training, Padawan Cal Kestis.” Anakin leant back in his chair, both hands happily resting behind his head, left ankle at home on his right knee, lips comfortably in a smirk. 

Long game it was. 

Your eyes scanned the meals room in the Temple for your Padawan learner. You knew that you could use the force to locate him, if you wanted. But, your relationship with Cal was still so new, and somehow that felt like encroaching on the young boy’s privacy. 

Besides, there was another presence in the large dining hall that almost overwhelmed you. Anakin Skywalker. 

Arrogant, talented, intelligent, calculated, The Chosen One, handsome, flirtatious. You weren’t sure where you stood with Anakin. You longed to call him friend, but you were ultimately convinced he saw you little more as a colleague. 

Despite all that though, he was a hard man to escape at the best of times. And now, since Cal and Anakin’s Padwan, Ahsoka Tano, were friends, you knew that Anakin would always be around. 

You couldn’t help the schoolgirl flutter that it striked into you. It was exciting, you supposed, to finally have something a bit easy on the eye about constantly. It certainly made the war a little easier, to do missions with Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. 

Eventually, Cal’s beautiful bright hair shone like a beacon for you. You began to weave your way across the room. You couldn’t help to admit that you’ve become attached to him, you deeply cared for him, his wellbeing. As much as you loved the Jedi, you often thought of Cal playing, running free with kids his own age. Not becoming a soldier on the front lines of an intergalactic war. Perhaps that was why you slacked on Cal’s training. You simply wanted him to be loved, to be happy, to be a child. 

All of the fondness you held so tightly quickly got packed away once you realised who Cal was sat with. Approaching the breakfast table you clocked Anakin’s relaxed figure. The effortlessly beautiful set of his lips, the way that his eyelashes curled upwards, you were convinced his demeanour was larger than life. And, maybe, perhaps, you let your eyes wander for a beat longer than what was socially acceptable. 

Gently you placed your hand on Cal’s shoulder, perhaps it was because you were his Master, or maybe it was something deeper, something maternal, but you always felt more at ease when you had him close. With a slight bow of your head, you opened:

“Morning to you Master Kenobi, Ahsoka.” You took a moment to lick your lips, your whole mouth had gone dry, but you tried desperately to save yourself from Anakin’s piercing gaze. “General Skywalker.” The rest greeted you verbally, but Anakin said nothing, just a simple tilt of his head. You held Anakin’s gaze, his blue eyes held something else in them, you felt like he was playing some kind of game. You didn’t mind game, but only if you knew the rules, and Anakin was one to make up the play as he went along. You felt Cal clear his throat, his body lurching under your hand.

Finally, you broke the contact with Anakin, ruffiling Cal’s hair, and placing his braid behind his ear. “If you’d excusae us, my Padawan and I have much to do.” 

Anakin waited for at least 30 seconds for you and your Padawan to start walking away before he turned in his chair to follow you out with his eyes. 

Ahsoka watched as her usually oh-so-clever and suave and calculating Master watch Cal Kestis and his Master leave the dining hall like a Lothal Cat waiting for its owner to return. She couldn’t help but smile, Anakin’s pining was hilarious, and Master L/N was a good choice. She turned to share a look with Master Kenobi, and to Ahsoka’s delight he was chuckling softly to himself, coving his smile with his hand, playing it off as if he was simply stroking his beard. 

Ahsoka knew Anakin thought he was playing some kind of long game, but it was going to be a painfully long pining. Not if she was going to have anything to do with it.

------

P.S This is a side account, my main is @mayhemories, so I will be answering any comments with that account but rest assured it is still me :) <3

Much love, El. 

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi!! I just found your blog and 😭😭 you're so talented, like, what?? I def need more!!! I dunno if this is how it works, or if you're still doing the dirty asks game, but I was thinking maybe E,K,U and S (or Z!) for Johnny?

Have a lovely day!! oh, and well, happy new year 🙂‍↕️

Prompts are from this ask game and part of my ongoing list of answers! You can also find A, B, C, D, and V already answered for this boi.

Warnings for...well...they are dirty asks so be prepared for sexy and sexual content 😉 including (but not limited to) discussion of oral, somnophilia, ummmm tickling? emotional unavailability? and idk other stuff. MINORS DNI.

Happy New Year! I love ya! I appreciate you taking the time, dearie 💜 Happy reading... 😈💋

K - Kissing

So this...implies some romance that's not typical for Johnny. His kissing is less emotional and more intense and deep--but seriously, it's not an indication of his longterm interest or level of affection. (There is an exception to this which is Johnny has no problem giving hickies. He will mark. you. up. ((He can't be marked in the same way due to healing.))

HOWEVER, those small, nonchalant pecks--if Johnny ends up smooching you and it doesn't lead to sex, it wasn't in the middle of sex, or especially if there's no one around to see it,--that's THE REAL DEAL. Something utterly devoted has sparked inside him if (and when) Johnny slows down to kiss you. Or slows for any reason, really.

In regards to where Johnny likes to kiss or be kissed? Again, he's not much of a kisser. He's big on touching and groping and tickling, since he's a goofball and true 'player,' i.e. Johnny is nearly always playful, but once there's a connection made with you, he...

okay, so, the thing is, he actually does like to be kissed, and the place that drives Johnny wild is above his dick, right at his adonis belt, that v-cut, the pubes. This is so ridiculously intimate/possessive/reverent; he can barely handle the conflicting drives to melt beneath or conquer you. Strange thing...he would have thought the proximity would just make him want a blowjob but instead he's a goner.

U - Underwear

Commando. Easy-Access Man. Next question.

LOL, just kidding. Mostly, Johnny wears nothing, certainly not with his Human Torch second skin. He used to wear boxers but lost too many of those to a smoldering heap. No point.

On women? Crotchless panties are his favorite, but there's this new trend of booty shorts--he's very, very into them. Generally, he would have thought anything less-is-more would be best in his eyes, but there's this kinda *pop* in the stretchy fabric when it jumps over the swell of your ass...mmhmmm IT'S GOOD.

S - Sleepy Sex

Sleepy morning? You are 100% welcome to wake him up with some head or ride his cock to your heart's content, but Johnny himself doesn't usually start stuff first thing. This goes hand in hand with him being unable to slow down much. He's all about releasing tension before bed though. A good romp to tire him out and calm the mind? Absofuckinglutely. No, he doesn't particularly care if you were already asleep. You'll thank him later. Don't worry. It's always worth your his while.

Z - Zones

Classic man. Go for his neck or his crotch. Johnny is a #basicbitch in this respect. It feeds his ego to be touched all over--duh, he's got this glorious bod, you should want to touch him,--but he has never been a fan of biting, on him or on others. Since he's just about always in the mood, it does not take a lot of foreplay to get him ready.

E - Extra Info

Unpopular opinion: I imagine that perhaps the ultimate show of love/devotion/possession to Johnny is not marriage and all that normal stuff but, instead, if you let him brand you.

He works hard and focuses to not burn people, so you allowing him permanently claim you as his--which he would not do in a casual way, not with random hookups and one-night-stands, not until he is sure that word won't get back to Sue who would kill him--shows a level of trust he didn't believe he would want much less earn.

Johnny is aware he's a ridiculous and kinda stunted man-child emotionally. He's smart enough to know that. Johnny will never stop being grateful to the woman who can stick around, see past it, and grow with him...playfully, of course. You should never stop roasting him about the man-child-ness.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[aclassitag]

Announcing Krem Week!

#kremweek2024 — 22-28 July 2024

background art credit: @xfreischutz [link to original post]

*text prompt list under the readmore

This year will mark 10 years since the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition! In celebration of that anniversary and the game that gave us our first trans character, here is a prompt list - and dates - for any who would like to participate! All sorts of creative content is accepted so long as they are not A/I generated. (See examples below)

*If you want to portray Maevaris Tilani instead, that is also fine!

Please read the guidelines!

If you have any questions, reply to this post and I will do my best to answer :)

Prompt list:

1 — Anniversary 2 — Euphoria / Expression 3 — Casual / Formal 4 — Family / Love 5 — Respite / Fight 6 — Play / Satiate 7 — (Free space!)

Guidelines:

Use the tag: #kremweek2024 (@ this blog is fine too) — If you want to portray Maevaris Tilani instead of Krem, that is also welcome! Please @ me so I can rb :) For non-Tumblr folks that somehow got here: You may post submissions, please link your socials. You may choose one of two prompts in a day or do both. You may also combine as many prompts as you want from any or all of the days into a single work, just mention it somewhere.

Types of content allowed:

Illustration and writing are the most obvious forms of art allowed, but they're not the only ones! Literary arts fanfics, drabbles, poetry, plays, lengthy headcanon/meta posts (for headcanon and meta posts, minimum of 100 words+) Visual arts doodles, paintings, graphic design, photoshop memes, photography, animation, tiktok skits, abstract, fiber arts (embroidery, knitting, etc), ceramics Audio art fanmixes(curated playlists), original or cover songs Other crafts are also welcome! e.g. culinary, resin, woodworking, etc etc ..essentially, whatever type of art it is, I'll accept it so long as it falls within rules and is related to Krem or Maevaris :) For things that are more abstract, do include an explanation of your thought process on how it relates to Krem. E.g. you made Krem's Seheron Fish Wrap or Rice Pudding, take photos of your cooking, and post that (with the explanation that it is Krem's recipes) - that's an acceptable submission! You're allowed to explore different mediums everyday! You don't have to stick to one form of art for the whole week. I will be attempting to schedule reblogs in the 'prime time' for engagement, and in the interest of fairness, things like headcanon posts, fanmixes, and WIPs will not take priority in that time slot over fully rendered illustrations or complete fanfics. They will still be reblogged, but scheduled for other time slots.

Content Rules:

No A/I generated content. (Specifically GenAI content) As above, any and all forms of art is welcome. It must be human made, and by you. The whole point of working off a prompt is to explore a creative process, anyway - do yourself a favour and just enjoy making something! It doesn't have to be pretty! No reposting of other people's works. This must be your own creation. Obviously, no transphobic content. No harrassing others over their specific headcanons - be it in regards to any trait or quirks that come with being a person. People come in all sorts of wonderful variety, please respect that. In addition to above: No whitewashing, racism etc. Please note that Krem is not pale-skinned in canon, and I will not be reblogging content of him being portrayed as pale. 18+ works need to be labelled. On this blog, its tagged as "#adult art". Please add content warnings as appropriate. (E.g. portrayal of binding with bandages should have a warning label of "cw: unsafe binding", etc.) If your post/submission is lengthy, please insert a read more. This helps readability on the dashboard. Progress / WIPs are fine too!

General tips:

First and foremost, do what you are able to! Don't feel pressured to complete a full week if you need to take care of yourself first. Some people work on the prompts before the week even begins, and only post it day of. You are not required to do this, but if you really want to fill something for each day, this helps reduce stress day of.

Mod things:

The mod isn't from the Americas, so due to timezone differences, there may be a delay in reblogging people's works. Either way I will not reblog the moment that it's posted in order to screen properly. Posts will be queued between 30mins-1hr apart, if there are multiple entries being submitted at the same time. All submissions will also be requeued after a week for later perusal :)

[abarbaricyalp]

Hi! How about 19 or 23 for the hand-holding prompts?

Well, I was going to put those together, but then the mood got a little too serious for 19 23: Holding hands under the table

There was not just Sarah and the boys.

There wasn't another immediate Wilson sibling, despite Sam continuously trying to trick Bucky (and convincing Sarah to play along every now and then) into thinking there was a lost brother. But both Paul and Darlene Wilson had siblings, so Sam and Sarah had a ton of cousins and whatever the next generation would be to them. Darlene's family, the Blakes, mostly lived on the other side of New Orleans. The other Wilsons lived down the coastline, towards Texas. Paul and Darlene had settled on Delacroix as a kind-of mid-point between their families.

Sam talked about long summer trips that always had to be a Thing as far as planning went, because wrangling two young kids for hours in the car was not a two-way-one-day kind of affair. He talked about weekends spent in New Orleans, or showing his cousins around all the bayous of Delacroix. He talked about threatening to run away to the pine forests of the Louisiana-Texas border when he was a teenager, because he'd spent so many summer weeks exploring them as a kid.

Bucky hadn't met any of them, except for the odd cousin who drifted through town and came to say hi to Sam and Sarah. Time went on and families grew and big gatherings were less likely to come to fruition. Besides, Sam was busy and it's not like Bucky could just go to the smaller functions with Sarah. (Well, he could, but he wasn't going to. That would just be...imposing, probably)

But there was Paul and Darlene's Celebration of Life 25th Anniversary and almost everyone had said they'd be there. And despite the fact that Bucky got such bad cold feet the night before he slept on the boat to avoid being even more overwhelmed, Sam still told him to come. Please. It was always the please that got him. He'd deny Sam very little in the world, truth be told, but once that please was out there, he was a fish on a hook.

Sarah kept saying not everyone was there but Bucky couldn't believe that. There were so, so, so, so many people. The same creeping dread that had plagued him the night before was back, curling at his stomach and keeping a flush high on his face.

He wanted to make a good impression, but that was difficult even for the best life partners. The fact that many of these people probably already had an opinion of him was making it much worse. The fact that it was Sam and Sam deserved the sun, the moon, and all the stars was the real nail in the coffin. Everyone here should know that and instead, there was Bucky on his arm instead.

It was interesting to keep catching Sam's features in other people's faces. He knew Sam took more heavily after his mom. Many of the Blakes had the same gap in their teeth and his high cheekbones. But someone had come up to him almost immediately when he arrived--an older woman that Sam didn't seem to recognize, but hid well--and grabbed his face as she said in a watery but proud breath, "Oh, you look just like him. I can't believe it."

And then she'd disappeared and left Sam blinking at nothing.

It was interesting too to see how many of the younger generations of Wilsons did look like Sam and Sarah as well. All tall and regal in a way Bucky didn't think should be genetic but apparently was. It was the hidden features where Paul came out on Sam's face. Their eyes, namely. Apparently they glinted the same way. And the crooked set of their mouths. "Oh, trouble," one of Sam's aunts had said halfway through a scheme of his and a cousin's. "No, no, no. Paulie used to make the same face. You go sit down. Have some cake." And she shooed him off, away from some strange beer bottle bowling pin game construction.

Sam talked like Paul too, Bucky learned from other people at the event, the handful who talked to him when Sam wasn't beside him. Sure, on the TV, for sure. But also just as he meandered around the party and cajoled stories from people or pitched into his own epic tales. (No, he had not actually caught a three foot long fish recently, nor had he battled a horde of aliens in Oregon the other day. There were, like, six max)

Bucky picked up stories about Paul and Darlene too. People telling him about silly things Sam had done in high school that his parents had as well. The way Sam was carrying on their memory in everything he did now. One man from the church swore him to secrecy and gave him Paul Wilson's old sermon's book, which was filled with lectures he'd given, but dozens and dozens of stories he hadn't shared. Lots of them pertaining to Sam.

"I just knew," the man said, patting Bucky's hand on the journal, "One day I'd be able to give this away to someone else to take care of. You can't give it to him." This was imperative in the deal. "But you must remind him of what's in it, always. And you can't die," he added seriously, teeth clicking together with the force of his words. "I was gonna give it to his friend from the military, but he died before he came back. I wouldn't have ever gotten it back. Sam would've had it. You can't let him have it."

This was more responsibility than Bucky was expecting. Sarah had told him to distract the kids and make sure people didn't take half the strawberry pretzel cake in one go. (Three different people were culprits for this and Bucky had to stop a whole different, younger, person from taking a quarter of it at a time.) And it was a responsibility he didn't fully understand. Still, Bucky nodded, just as seriously, and put the notebook in his backpocket. He'd have to stash it in the truck later because his backpocket was for Sam's hand, but Sam was helping set up the slideshow inside, so he was safe for now.

(When he'd asked about the man, Sam had said he was his godfather. He and Paul had been closer than twins growing up, but had drifted apart as Sam and Sarah grew up. Still called now and then, but not regularly. Sent the same birthday present every year, but it was never late)

Thankfully, the meal was inside. Not thankfully, Sam, Sarah, and the boys were, of course, at the front of the hall and Bucky could only hide behind Sam's shoulder for so long.

The slideshow full of images of Paul and Darlene as kids, as young people, and their life as a couple and a family played on the stage. There were so many pictures, Bucky didn't think it would have to loop over. Sam explained why there were some gaps, where albums or cameras had been ruined in storms or other catastrophes. It only took a few moments for Sam to grab Bucky's hand beneath the table.

His fingers were shaking and, when Bucky looked up at him, his throat kept bobbing as he swallowed and swallowed and swallowed.

"Sweetheart," Bucky whispered, leaning forward to be close enough for only Sam to hear. "Are you alright?"

"Don't sweetheart me right now," Sam breathed back, eyes squeezing shut for a few seconds before he opened them again. His waterlines were wet, eyes shining. "I'm fine. Just...don't let go of my hand. Please."

Bucky nodded, took the opportunity to kiss Sam's shoulder, and sat back in his seat. He put both hands around Sam's, one to tangle their fingers together and one to trace nothing designs into Sam's skin. Sam squeezed his hand in acknowledgement and then loosened his hold again.

Many different people spoke. People from the church, people from the foodbank, which Darlene had helped run apparently, their friends, their family. Someone talked about sleeping on the Wilson's couch for two weeks while she figured a safe way out of town, how the Wilsons didn't know her from anyone but opened their door to her anyway, that she named her daughter Darlene.

Sam squeezed his hand and Bucky squeezed it back, moving his thumb along the length of Sam's fingers, back to his knuckles, and up the next one, slow and constant and firm.

The last person to speak was a woman Sam knew, but who Bucky hadn't gotten to talk to. She had just been finishing her conversation with Sam when Bucky had found him again earlier, stuck around long enough for Sam to make his introductions before she was pulled away. She knew Paul and Darlene from around town. Wouldn't say she was a best friend, more a busy body, but she kept an eye on them, so lovely and young as they were, perfect little children too.

"And that's where I'd like to end the speeches for tonight," she said. "With their children. Sam, Sarah, your mama and papa wouldn't have asked for a better legacy in life. Watching you grow up, in the face of joy and adversity, with grace and poise and dignity and elegance. The world was better to have your parents in it, but the world is just as good since you are both here too. We all know of our hometown superhero, but you both, and your parents, were super long before there were any aliens and wings and suits involved. At celebrations of life, I do love to look at the future of these memories. Paul and Darlene are in the best, kindest, strongest hands. This entire room is their future, but you were everything to them and now you are all that they are too."

Sam's throat moved again, but before Bucky could understand what he was doing, Sam had turned and collapsed against Bucky's side, face against Bucky's shoulder. His hand was shaking so badly, it was making Bucky's arm twitch. Bucky kept holding onto him, having to stop smoothing over his hand so he could wrap that arm around Sam's shoulders, hand against his head.

Sam cried silently against his shoulder, warm tears soaking through Bucky's shirt quickly. Bucky adjusted his hand so he could hold Sam's more firmly.

"I've got you," he murmured softly. "It's alright. You're alright."

"I miss them so much. I just want them to know I love them."

Bucky pressed a kiss to the top of Sam's head and stayed there. "They know, Sammy. Of course they do."

"They made me. Of course everything I do is them. I'm who I am 'cause of them. And no one else knows their name."

"Baby, look at how many people came out to celebrate them. They know. They all know."

"It's not enough. I'm not doing--" Sam voice stuttered off and he clung onto Bucky's hand even harder.

"They love you, Sam," Bucky said softly, kissed his head again. "And they're proud of you. Everything about you. You are a miracle."

Sam swiped at his eyes quickly, took in another stuttering breath. "How many people are looking at me?"

Pointedly, no one was looking at him, but that was a terrible answer. "The cornbread just refreshed, so everyone's fighting over the biggest pieces," Bucky said instead. "No one's looking at you."

"Mrs. Miriam can't cut an even slice, even if angel wings were waitin' for her afterwards," Sam said. Bucky let the posturing go without comment. He wiped his eyes again, sniffled, and then cleared his throat.

No sooner had he sat up than one of the cousins' little ones came tripping over and climbed into Sam's lap while her mom shouted at her to leave him alone. "Mr. Sam," she said seriously. "I want to fly. How do I do that?" She waved a bat plushie for emphasis.

Sam laughed, watery but stronger. "Well, you have to eat your vegetables," he said seriously.

Instantly her nose scrunched. "Even the okra?" she asked.

"Especially the okra!" Sam cried out in affront.

"Okra is gross," Bucky agreed with her conspiratorially.

The girl thrilled with vindication and launched into a story about how she broke her arm leaping off of a tree (another thing that must be genetic because Sam and Sarah had done that too) and Sam caught his breath while listening to her. He squeezed Bucky's hand again.

Bucky squeezed it back and did not let go.

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Ellie Williams X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute, and Fluffy Prompt [Full Version; a heavy WIP at this point!]

• Takes place after the events of the second game;

• Some details may be changed quite heavily [not exactly for certain yet; just a possibility] in the near future, when I work upon this idea again;

• Parts within this instalment + their transition indicted via the use of Roman Numerals;

• There will be more!

!TW(s): Mention of loss + death + guilt linked to it, implied suffering from depression, mention of theft/criminal activity, depiction of a dystopian atmosphere (an apocalypse + elements of horror), mention + presence of blood, implied mention of violence/a violent atmosphere + violence in general, implied having to commit murder + manslaughter, implied suffering from anxiety + separation anxiety, mention of a kidnapping + possible abuse + murder in general, a general lawlessness, being wounded, presence of weaponry (both implied and physical), mention of a car crash, an implied break-up, swearing, mention of maiming/body mutilation, implied sexual occurrence taking place - if I’ve missed any, please feel free to let me know; thank you!

Care for Each Other/Not Anymore

I

It didn’t take Ellie long to decide she should leave Jackson again. What did she have left there, anyway? Sure, there were the remnants of a past life, including what she’d built alongside Tommy, Maria, and the others who’d decided to join them along the way, but now that she’d lost Joel, Dina, and Jesse, what was the point in fighting to keep what was gone alive anymore? All that was left was a memory - a singular memory, combining each moment she spent with each of them into a dark void of regret, and even heavier a portal for crushing guilt to ambush her the way it did, every night she lay in Wyoming, wondering where she should go next, now that so much of what had made up her own life had been burnt down to nothing, but a few ashes, and unashamed drops of tears separating them.

She had to try and harden her heart against all of what had taken place, and she decided to make further decisions as she packed up what she knew she’d need into the last rucksack she had left, the others she’d ever got her hands on just broken and worn mesh she kept under her bed in the makeshift town they’d all put together in Jackson, a few years ago now. She knew it wouldn’t be enough, eventually - of course she did; nothing lasted forever, that much had already been made clear to her, several times before now. She sighed gravely; the anger was still there - no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get rid of it. She only hoped she could try and dissolve it the further she ended up travelling, if ever she did end up going through with it.

That wasn’t to say she liked to engage in the thoughts of a doubtful mind. If anything, they only ended up frustrating her. She forced the last of her canned goods into the bag, before pressing herself up off of her bed, only to falter again when she noticed the guitar Joel gave her stood - lonely, and grim - in the corner of the room. Her eyes darkened a little, and she tried to ignore the emptiness she began to sport again, but she couldn’t forget it, rolling her eyes, before she walked a little half-heartedly and unsteadily toward the instrument. Though she knew it didn’t make her feel the way it did before - and was certainly hard to play, with two fingers less than what she’d had before - she couldn’t give up. Joel wouldn’t want her to.

In a way, neither would she, or Dina, but the excess thinking only added to the pain she tried to conceal all over again.

She carefully slung the guitar over her shoulder, the weight feeling only too familiar, and for a moment she was cursed to remember every word Joel had sung to her, a few years ago. She grunted, shaking her head subconsciously as if it would do anything to conceal her, but - again - there was nothing she herself could do to fix what had already been inflicted upon her. Maybe she’d come back one day - who knows? However, for now, she saw no other option, but to take her travels elsewhere again. She wouldn’t go too far, though, she speculated - if she was needed, then she could be close by, just-.. not here. Anywhere, but here again, at least until the near future.

Once she’d got outside, she whistled for the new Shimmer - a steed she’d managed to steal from the stables without recognition, given the WLF’s costing the loss of her old mare, as well - and her mare whinnied in response to her call, before tossing her head slightly, and then offering it for Ellie to stroke. Of course she couldn’t resist - whoever could, a creature so beautiful? She smiled softly - at least there were some things still light and warm in the world that had grown so much colder overtime. She pet her companion’s neck, before attaching her rucksack to the mare’s saddle. For a moment, she couldn’t help, but hesitate again, looking back in the direction of the city she missed, when it hadn’t been wounded by so many demons the way it had, before, so many unnecessary deaths it made her herself feel dead inside, to some extent.

She knew she shouldn’t dwell on it for too long, forcing a smile back up at Shimmer, before she climbed onto her steed’s saddle, unhitched her, and eased her with grave reluctance into a trot, back away heavily from the farmstead. She wondered if she’d regret it, eventually, and she guessed she had only herself to blame, when she found herself in almost completely new territory.

II

You yourself weren’t always content with your own life. Things had taken a toll on both of you, as was often the case in situations like these, with the ever progressing apocalypse and all. You hadn’t been subject to much of a childhood to enjoy, either, and often had to shed blood just to get by, and the blood aforementioned that you and your family spilt was not just the blood of the infected, old and new.

You leaned heavily against one of the hitch posts you and Shalyla, your half-sister, had set up all on your own. The others were often busy either finding more supplies, or running a perimeter check. The rotor often ran like that; the days were full of theft without consequences, blood-shed where needs be, and sleep where sleep could be had. How else could your lives be lived, when constantly at threat of things alive, or dead?

“Lyla,” you acknowledged gently, as she appeared around the corner of one of the wind-battered tents to the right of your frame. You wondered if she’d been crying again, noticing that her eyes were red, as a loose strand of light blonde hair stuck freshly to her left cheek, before she brushed it away, and smiled a weaker than usual smile back at you.

“It’s a quiet night, isn’t it?” She mused, not daring to look back at you like before as she, too, leaned upon the post also unoccupied beside you. You didn’t know what you could say to appease her thoughts, nodding slowly, before you bowed your head a little, feeling utterly useless and colder than you ever had before. “It’s not been this quiet, since-”

“We’re gonna find her, Lyla,” you managed, a pained expression on your face as you spoke through the lump forming within your throat, nodding determinedly as your eyes shone a little more in the darkness as soon as your’s too grew wet like her’s had, earlier, ever since the moment she’d come back to you, and declared your and her little sister missing, after you’d allowed her to go off one morning with your sister, as well as your mother and closest associates, here. You still blamed yourself, sometimes. Still thought about her, every moment of every day, wondering if maybe - just maybe - she could still be alive out there, waiting for you to come find her again. “She’s not gone; she was never gone - we can’t just say that she’s-”

“But what if she is?” Lyla interjected through gritted teeth, her voice sounding a little more strained than it did, before. You didn’t blame her, if it were a sign of hatred; you only hoped that she was directing it toward you, and not yourself. It was your ignorant idea anyway, you never thought she could just up and disappear like that, but you guessed you probably should have, right?

You scoffed to yourself, before shaking your head gravely as Shalyla watched after you, as if silently begging for you an answer to your and her new problem in life, as things often go. You didn’t know if you’d be able to reciprocate her gaze, without letting your façade drop, revealing every second of pain you’d had to endure, since the day she’d gone. Instead, you kept your head low, hands fisted at your sides as you fought back the tears, not wanting to inflict anymore pain upon Shalyla, too, alongside you. You certainly didn’t notice the way she scowled down at the ground after that, her eyebrows furrowing together as if she were trying to figure things out again.

“You need to sleep,” you murmured simply, your voice threatening to tremble again as she rolled her eyes, before turning to face you completely as if ready to protest again, but you got there before she could, enforcing a sharper tone to your voice no matter how much it cost you mentally to do so toward her - especially her, after everything the both of you had been through together, at this point in time, hearts bleeding together every night; every second, of every day, and still you didn’t know what else to do, as you hardened your heart against her again, before allowing the following command to slip your lips all over again: “you heard me, Lyla - go to bed, okay? We don’t need you out here right now; the others’ll be back soon, and I can take over the next search with someone else, instead, okay?”

You couldn’t deny that it hurt, seeing the shattered expression now residing upon her face, in response to your harsh words. She shook her head defiantly, but the look of disarray and betrayal of sharp juncture didn’t go remiss by your gaze, even before she’d made to try and argue again, like she had before.

“But, no, you - you can’t do that! You promised me we’d go together,” she hissed, and you sighed heavily as you nodded gravely, making every recollection that you had in fact made such a promise to her, not long ago, now, “what, so you’d rather me not help you, when she’s my little sister, too? Our family, and nobody else’s? Is that just the way things are now, between us? Because I don’t think I like it, at all; the - the way you’re making things go, now. Look, I know you’re the ‘big boss’ around here, but-”

“Lyla,” you began again a little more exasperatedly, but she didn’t budge, continuing without hesitation with new vigour against you, but at that moment you heard the approach of heavy hooves on solid ground, and you found you couldn’t hear her anymore, looking toward the entrance of the temporary camp you’d all set up together within the remnants of Dixie National Forest. What it used to be, anyway, before the apocalypse had begun to spread further and further across the country, soon becoming unmanageable on all sides of the gambit.

Olivia rode in first, looking positively panic-stricken as her grey standardbred neighed beneath her in what sounded like it could be a confused state of fright, her rider panting above her as the two came to a stop a few paces away from you and Shalyla.

You didn’t hesitate, rushing up to her and her steed as you held the mare’s reins, and anxiously looked up at one of your closest friends over the years, her cheeks looking whiter than they ever had before.

“What happened?” You asked a little more breathlessly, but there were still dangerous undertones beneath your words, Olivia easily looking shaken by them herself as she tried to recover herself further, before managing one word that easily sent shivers down your spine, whenever you were cursed to hear it, the way you did again, then, your heart already pounding too fast, especially when you began to grow more intensely aware of the absence of Bianca, another of your and Shalyla’s companions as you tried to fight the growing apocalypse together, even in the earliest of years, somehow. “Bianca,” you managed, your eyes widening all the more as your hands shook a little alongside Olivia’s, but still it took her a moment to speak. The dreadful word came when you least expected it.

You extended your left hand toward Shalyla, as if requesting her help, but before she could even get to you, you heard just about the most dreadful of screams. You dropped the reins, and before you even knew it you were making for the stable, only briefly looking back toward the two of them only to make out the word ‘hunters’ slipping from Olivia’s now paler than usual lips.

There was only one thing you knew for sure, now: the hunters had fucked you over before, but when it came to family, you would do anything to stop them, no matter what that meant for yourself, at the end of the day.

III

Ellie couldn’t deny that she hadn’t made it very far, before she encountered another wave of infected. However, they weren’t focused on her - not yet, anyway. Where the Stalkers were travelling, alongside a mere few Clickers, was another wave of commotion she had yet to discover in a hunt of more clarity. In a way, she knew she may be better off just turning Shimmer around, and finding another way to get by. But she was too tired to make a few more shortcuts to get where she believed she needed to be, right now. A new atmosphere; new - if not permanent - home; a new beginning to her life. She had to get it right eventually, right?

She drew her slightly trembly right hand across her eyes, eyelids drooping heavily at this point, but she slowly followed behind the infected, surprised none of them had yet noticed her, though she travelled far behind them enough to guarantee at least a delayed battle, if it had to come down to one, this far into her journey. It only became an action easier regrettable, especially when she saw the too familiar black motors ahead of her.

IV

“How far?” You began again a little apprehensively, galloping alongside Olivia and Shalyla, the two looking almost as wary as you did, right now.

As others travelled close behind your trio formation, you wondered how far you’d actually make it against the hunters, without having to suffer more and more losses of the team the way you had, the fights you’d encountered before with the group. Olivia looked as if it terrified her; the thought of even speaking again, and you wondered what just had they done to her, before she’d returned to you, minus Bianca beside her, the way they’d gone earlier that day.

“Utah, on the border,” she breathed a little shakily in response to you, not once her gaze moving from where it was, now. You were certain, even then, that you’d kill as many of them as you could, before they could bring you down with them, somehow, if ever they managed to. “We’re close,” your companion added, and you subconsciously glanced toward your sister, wondering what she herself was thinking about, during this tense moment in time. You didn’t have to wonder, much longer.

“The hunters,” she began slowly, through the strain of gritted teeth, “do - do you think they-?”

She could hardly contain her composure, grimacing ahead of her as tears brimmed into the pools of her eyes, lighting them up in the dark the way they had, earlier, before Olivia had returned with such a grave announcement, the way she had. In some ways, you wished you didn’t know what had been plaguing her current thoughts, now.

“We won’t know what happened, until we find her, okay?” You murmured, and Shalyla tensed up, not sure as she reluctantly glanced back toward you, as if she were trying to determine if the answer you’d given was good enough, or too vague for her own liking. You didn’t give her time to consider enough, not wanting yourself to delve too far into it, though it made something within you shatter a little more each time you thought about it, knowing you should try and at least show you cared more, because you truly did; you never intended to convey to her any notion otherwise, the way you could see you had, now. “Look, Lyla,” you began again slowly, Olivia ducking her head a little as if ducking herself under an invisible branch, “I told you before that - that when things go missing, l-like a pet, or a pen, or whatever - it can be found, right? It isn’t gone; she isn’t gone, so she can be found, and we’re going to find her - promise me you know that, please, before we get to them-”

“You think they’ll kill us, don’t you?” Shalyla guessed, and you winced, not sure how to answer at first, but the dejected expression on your sibling’s face made it so much easier for the words to roll harshly off of your tongue, before they lingered, and burnt at the atmosphere around all of you, ready to strike at the hunters with new, and much - much fiercer - velocity. “That - That they’ll-”

“They’re not going to kill us, Lyla,” you interjected simply, your voice a lot bolder than it was, before, “I just want to hear you say it, before we rip their throats out, and have to wait again until later to talk again like we do - you get that, right? So promise me, please - it has to be now, okay? Not later, not tomorrow - now, because I can’t have you going in there without you knowing through to your bones that we will come out of this a family again, okay? Will you do it? Please say you’ll do it, Lyla - say something, at least - for god’s sake, say something!”

“I promise,” she managed, and you couldn’t help, but smile softly over at her, glad that she at least still had some faith in you, even after everything that had taken place, by now, but neither of you had much time to dwell on it, before the gunfire started, and you were torn from your horse’s saddle again.

V

Of course Ellie remembered them; how one had callously - specifically - crashed into the side of the car she and Joel had been gifted a few years ago, to get her to where she needed to be delivered, before, only for Joel to save her the way he had, realising something she still - and probably would never know, now - had no clue at all about, given that he’d lied about the result of the ordeal at hand, before. These cars - they belonged to the ruthless hunters, a group she’d been hoping to never run into again, for a little while now. If it weren’t for the screaming and rapturing gunfire she heard nearby - a few paces away, now, from the infected - she knew she’d probably avoid them, but that wasn’t who she was.

Instead, she pressed on, but sometimes she still wondered why she was even bothering with helping anyone, anymore.

VI

You guessed you still had some things to learn about the hunters, or - more specifically - the cruelty of people, as a collective. You fell from your steed, an agonising grunt escaping you as you hit the ground, the back of your head violently colliding with the solid surface beneath you, leaving everything suddenly quite blurry and darker than the world ever had been, before. You winced, hearing the laughter of the hunters, and the cries as well as shouts of your companions. You felt lost, for a moment, but it came somehow with a sense of peace. You couldn’t deny - shamefully - that you thought of how things would be, if you just let go of everything, and allowed the sensation to take you away, instead of carry you further into a life of oftentimes pain and torment, the way it had, before.

But you couldn’t leave your family. You pressed yourself up off of the ground, gritting your teeth fitfully as glassy pains ran through your right shoulder, what felt like the warm oozing of blood leaking from it, beneath your current and often usual attire; dark grey jacket, a usually dirty green top (all the more worn whenever you yourself went out on territory cleansing runs like these), already staining a little with the blood that escaped from your wound, the way that it was, now.

“Y/n!” You heard Shalyla cry for you from a few paces ahead of where you’d fallen, her keeping a hold on the reins of your horse as you tried to pull yourself fully off of the ground, and back up onto your toes, but you couldn’t hold yourself for long, cursing shakily as you had to grip unstably onto the tree, your left shoulder making it a bit easier for you to do so without your muscles giving up on you the way they did, within your right arm. “Shit,” you thought you heard her utter as more gunfire sounded out, the laughs dying down steadily, but you couldn’t see where the new bouts of commotion and sheer rage were coming from, now, the hunters being hit from an opposite angle not quite in view, yet.

Your head reeled from the pain of every explosion that sounded out following your fall, you even having to try and cover your ears pretty much unsuccessfully to try and stop it from hurting as much. It was then you remembered Bianca, and wondered where the hell they’d taken her to, now. If they had got her hands on her, anyway, before you’d showed up alongside the others to try and take them all back down, again.

“There!” Another of your friends cried out, as if to answer your question, and your heart dropped in an instant when you noticed the struggling and quite limp figure of who was unmistakably the splitting image of your ex-girlfriend, but still close companion to your cause, and very own family, Bianca.

The emptiness came back again, and you found your eyes glued to her as they darkened, watching how blood occasionally spluttered out from her lips, as her chest rose too fast, then too slow, as if she were still trying to cling onto whatever life left she still had within her, after what they had done to her, not too long ago, now.

“No,” you managed, not sure what else to do, at first, as everything seemed to fail you, your legs stuck where they were, small tears being allowed to leak down your cheeks as you watched the struggle go on, fury burning through the last of your veins; the very core of your own soul, in its entirety. If there was anything left that you knew, now, it was nothing short of how you knew for a fact that someday, and somehow, you would make them all pay. They were still trying to take everything away from you, and for no good reason whatsoever, and for once it would be nice if you could avenge those who had been taken away from you wrongfully, if only the day could come sooner, by now.

As soon as you could move, you ran for her frame, before allowing your legs to fail beneath you once you’d finally reached her, and could carefully ease her body close to your own. You paid no attention to the remnants of gunfire that rang out around you, instead trying to protect her frame as she shook fitfully within your arms, a horrific gurgling sound escaping her lips more consistently than her heart was managing to beat, at this point. You burned with it, your hands hardly being able to stop shaking as you allowed yourself to get lost in her again, crying quietly as you connected your forehead to her own, lifting your left hand up to the top of her head as if you were afraid of them targeting her still, though she herself had gone beyond caring about what may, or may not happen to her, at this point, her being virtually on death's door herself, already.

"Y/n," Shalyla's voice rang out above the two of you, but you paid her no heed, even as she grew more desperate to try and get you and the others out of the situation again. "Y/n, please, we - we have to go! They're distracted, now's the time that we have to-”

"I'm not leaving," you spat, your voice shaking as she faltered in response to your words; your sharp tone, despite the pain that was interlaced within it, making up its very core, the way that it was

now. “I can’t, not - not without-”

“She won’t make it,” Olivia managed dejectedly, and you faltered yourself this time, your heart somehow dropping further than it did before as you shook your head gravely, not wanting to hear such words from anyone, especially not her and the others; people you considered heavily to be your family, therefore much involved and clued up on how much Bianca meant, and still means to you, the way she did ever since you’d even first met her, somewhere back in Palmdale. You couldn’t be sure what part of the city, now, considering it had been a few hefty years ago, now. “Y/n, please, we can’t stay here,” she begged, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore, stuck on the notion that you could save her, somehow, if only you still could; if only you’d all got there faster than you had, meaning maybe that she wouldn’t be in such a poor state, now. “She’s already bled out too much,” Olivia insisted slowly, “besides, we don’t even have the resources enough to keep her going long enough for us to get back to Dixie!”

“What? So you’d rather just - just abandon her here, without even trying to keep her with us?” You questioned hoarsely, your throat burning with each word as a lump grew within it, making it all the more harder to speak as the gunfire went on behind you. “You of all people should know, Olivia, that that is not what we do here,” you spat, before you carefully gathered Bianca up, and off of the ground, no matter how much it further pained your right shoulder to do so right now, in the state that it was. “Get me one of the kits!” You called to the few companions still waiting there behind you and the others, as the ones gone were assisting in the bloodshed of the hunters that had decided to mess with you and your friends one too many times, now. “Didn’t you guys hear me? I need a kit - now!” You cried, evidently growing all the more desperate as every second passed by, Bianca’s strained and raspy breaths growing ever quieter as you did, indicating a steady down spiral of life, in its last moments, for her, only breaking you down more than anything ever had before, before this moment in time. “Please,” you begged, as they all warily looked amongst each other, not sure what to do, but they themselves knew that it was too late for Bianca, as well, no matter how much it pained them alongside the others to think in such a grave manner as they were having to do so, right now. “Fine,” you uttered, burning with the pain and sheer agony of it all as you stared them all down for a brief moment, before returning your gaze back down to Bianca’s bloody frame, “I’ll take her back there, myself, and patch her up there - I don’t need you guys’ help anyway; not anymore.”

But you didn’t get very far - of course you didn’t. Not before the incoming wave of infected that had been trailing - ever so attracted to the commotion at hand - had fallen upon you both, but - in a way - the idea of dying didn’t scare you anymore, not if it meant you could be with Bianca again, as well as less of a burden to the remnants of your now fractured - clearly - family and friends, not too far away from you both, now.

VII

You guessed the future had other plans for you, still, though you couldn’t imagine why.

Ellie had managed to create quite a hole within the numbers of the hunters who had decided to ambush you, and your family, as was oftentimes the case, whenever she found herself involved with them, somehow. She didn’t care to call it luck anymore - what would the point be? In some ways, she didn’t know why she ever considered it in such a way, before. It was skill - of course it was. She carefully pulled herself up into one of the trees the hunters had taken to hiding within, and - with a cry of alarm - another revealed themselves, making to shoot her down, but she got to him first, managing to swing herself recklessly from one branch to another, before she brought her legs up and over herself to kick the man down from his post. He fell, of course he did.

She didn’t hesitate to aim her own gun down at him, before pulling the trigger, and embedding a couple of bullets or so into him, one lodged in his throat, the other in his forehead. She didn’t bother to watch him die, looking out for any others, but the area had fallen relatively quiet since she’d taken him down. Although, she could have sworn she’d seen other attackers here. They didn’t look like hunters, but she still knew she should be cautious in her next steps, nonetheless. Instead of taking any further rash movements, she dropped down from the branch she was clinging to, before looking timidly around herself again, and wondering if the other life forms had since then run off, as if they were scared she’d take them down, too, if they’d even noticed her, that is.

She couldn’t say she’d got much of a look at them, but what she did get was enough to determine that they were preoccupied, no matter what the situation at hand might be. As soon as she was satisfied that she was now alone again, and - hearing the approaching wave of infected she knew she should at least try and avoid, just for the purpose of her journey and current mental state - she ran back to Shimmer, and sought to continue her journey.

VIII

Of course it ended up being you who had to interfere in that. Sure, you’d tried your best in the end, to keep yourself and Bianca safe, but there were too many of the wave to clear, and you couldn’t get any further than you had managed, so far. It would have probably been a safer bet, that you’d picked up more ammo than you had, at the start of this very day. In all fairness, though, as you fought harshly in your head with your doubtful consciousness - you didn’t know the infected would come with a helping of hunters, the way that it had, today.

Bianca started fitfully within your arms, a pained expression on her face as she looked up at you through dark and hopeless eyes, small tears lingering within them, only for you to delicately brush them away whenever you could, without hurting her in the process, somehow.

“I’m here, baby,” you cooed in a strained manner, a dejected look upon your own face as if you were trying not to break down in front of her again, only for you to remember that you said you wouldn’t call her that anymore after you’d both broken up recently, but it had slipped from your lips so fast that it made your heart ache with everything surrounding it; the memories, especially, before the fight you’d had with her had taken place, before, “I’m here, okay? I - I’ll never leave you again, I promise, I-”

The infected were getting closer, clickers twitching fitfully in the distance whilst their contemporaries howled with frustration and anger, as if they were still trying to figure out how to get to you both, somehow, when you were just on the other side of the willow tree they were approaching, tears streaming down your cheeks no matter how much you tried to fight them back, alongside the girl you held in your arms, still.

Bianca tried to speak, but her lips moved soundlessly, and were dreadfully pale. You shook your head, lifting your left hand up to her right cheek, prompting her to wince a little at the touch upon slightly sorer skin, but she nonetheless allowed herself to melt into it, her heart pounding faintly in her chest, still, though it had a few moments ago felt as if it were just on the cusp of giving up, the way that it had been, before.

“Just rest, now,” you added gently, “you need it, okay? If you won’t do it for me, do it for yourself, and the others - please; Bianca, I-.. we need you - we always have, and we always will, just-.. stay with me, please; don’t - don’t go - not - not like this, okay?”

Your throat felt raw; it was taking you a lot, not to just put your gun to your head, but you knew that wouldn’t do you any good, now. You had no more bullets left, anyway, and you couldn’t leave Bianca and the others, no matter what divisions you find yourselves in, the way you were, right now - or, at least, you thought you were, after they’d neglected to patch her up the way you’d begged them to, earlier.

“Please,” you pleaded again, your voice coming out as more of a whisper, this time, it cracking almost as consistently as your whole existence was, with it, and you silently cursed her at the same time for letting her eyelids grow heavier than they ever had, before. “Bianca, just - just stay with me, okay? Stay with me!” You cried, and your shoulders shook as you began to break down, not sure what to do with yourself anymore.

“Run,” she managed, and her voice was so small, and wet with the blood that had been escaping her too quickly, the way that it was, now, but you didn’t dare leave her like that; you couldn’t, and - even as you could hear the infected growing ever closer to the tree - you still didn’t leave her side, not until the others had found you again, before descending upon the infected, and leaving you feeling nothing, but numb inside, and out, without her beside you again, the way that she had been, all those times before.

IX

By the time Ellie had successfully made it around the wave, only having to eliminate two of the Infected in the process, the group were gradually beginning to struggle, a couple more being bitten as they tried to keep the life forms away from you, as well as their horses. Your eyes never left Bianca’s frame, your heart aching steadily with the distance, and you struggled whenever the odd Runner or Stalker tried to get close to her, only to be shot down by Shalyla, noticing the dejected expression on your face that did finally make her cave in to trying to protect the girl again. Besides, she knew it would be horrible for her, to have so much pain inflicted upon her by the hunters, only to be worsened by jaws and claws of the Infected that had decided to join the congregation, here.

She’d successfully downed another, when Ellie grunted, decided to give in, as she readied her gun again, but she was alarmed by a piercing cry as you struggled against Olivia’s hold, desperate to get to Bianca’s now lifeless frame, seeing as Shalyla had now run out of bullets herself, deeming her body more vulnerable that it ever was, before. It didn’t take much longer for you to break free from your friend’s hold, you elbowing her in the stomach without thinking, before you bolted toward Bianca again, and took on the approaching Runner yourself. Of course, without any weapons to defend yourself with, by now, such a fleeting notion was not met with much luck, on your part.

You’d succeeded to avoid being administered any bites from the enemy, but soon it had you down on the ground, yourself, you trying to fight back tears still as you gritted your teeth against it, holding it as far back as you could from getting any closer to your bare neck as it almost had, whilst you’d had your guard down, for a brief moment. A second or two, at least, just so you could look over at what you’d lost so quickly, and unexpectedly, before you’d returned your gaze to the creature, scowling up at it with nothing, but pure hatred behind your darkened and weaker gaze. Ellie could see what was coming, even before it did. You were due to lose, if she didn’t step in; everyone was distracted, held up in their own battles - even poor Shalyla; this was more than what the group had expected there to be, and soon there’d be more Infected of them than there were true people, before.

She didn’t think to describe them as ‘good’; could people even be good anymore, or had the way things are now driven them all to insanity, as well as nothing, but a bold red greed clouding each and every one of their visions? She hoped, in some ways, that wasn’t all true, especially not for herself. She’d only ever done what she had to protect the people she loved, and nothing good seemed to come of that anyway. She sighed, before clicking the safety off of her weapon, and aiming it steadily at the Runner still snapping its jaws above you.

“Here we go again, I guess,” she remarked under her breath, before positioning her finger on the trigger as best she could, and allowing the bullet to slip from the barrel without a moment’s hesitation. The doubts came after, as the bullet embedded itself into the enemy’s head, splattering its blood upon your face as you winced a little, but it wasn’t something you weren’t used to, so it didn’t bother you much. What did, though, was how you couldn’t see where the bullet had come from, nor could you determine who had been the one to shoot the Runner down for you. You couldn’t think about it for too long, before another Infected - a Clicker, this time - stalked toward you, shrieking horridly as if in a nightmare, but again - from nowhere you could decipher - it had been shot down faster than it came.

You narrowed your eyes toward your invisible defender, and - for a moment - you believed you tricked yourself into seeing the hoof of a horse behind the brushes opposite you that Ellie was currently hidden behind, almost grinning with how comical the situation was, you still trying to see her, though it seemed useless to do so, at this point, but at the same time she wondered why she even cared, searching through the lens of her guns’ spyglass to seek out anyone else in need of her assistance, like you had been, a brief moment ago.

There were tons of them. Both Infected, and suffering humans. She took down as many of the snarling and clicking creatures as she could, though she still couldn’t think why she’d even bother, at this point in time. She’d lost so much as a result of this whole mess of an apocalypse, and still she was fighting. Maybe one day she’d figure out why, considering there seemed to be even less to fight for, now, the way that she had been, before.

The distraction of the rapid gunfire was enough to give you time to recompose yourself. You eased yourself toward Bianca, a pained expression on your face as you surveyed her quietly, not sure what to do with yourself, anymore. She still had her emergency pistol tucked away in her jacket; the hunters hadn’t found it, that much you could tell, not that they’d have any need of it, anyway. It looked like they’d been beating her, more than embedding bullets within her wherever they could. There was a horrible moment, you found yourself thinking of your little sister again - had they done anything like this to her, too, if they’d ever even managed to find her before you and the others could?

You scowled, cursing yourself for your wandering thoughts, the way that they were, and made you feel even more shattered and tired than you’d ever been, before. You slipped her pistol out of its secret holster, before you scavenged for the shiv you’d gifted to her for her birthday, a small engraving of her favourite animal upon its blade, followed by the initials ‘B.W.’, for ‘Bianca White’, and you faltered as soon as your left hand fell upon what felt like its sheath. You hesitated for a moment; it didn’t feel right to be taking it off of her - it was her’s, after all, and you wanted nothing, for it to keep being her own, no matter where she was, now.

You sighed, before nodding gravely, and taking it out of the sheath though it pained you to do so, and not just because of the way your right shoulder continued to throb, the way it did. You promised to return it; of course you did, even if she couldn’t hear it anymore - it was rightfully her’s. Besides, you only needed it to fight the remaining Infected that dare come any closer to her off, now, if your helper allowed you to do so, anyway, seeing as they were so insistent on doing them in, by themself, the way that they were, right now.

Eventually, there were too many for just Ellie to handle, on your behalf. You stabbed the shiv into each of them, digging it as deep as you could within their rotting bodies to try and help her as well as yourself as best you could, for Bianca’s sake, as much as your own, though you didn’t care whatever the future had in store for you, anymore, after today - not now. You fancied you did quite well, but even thoughts such as those you didn’t care for anymore; positivity such as that had left you, with the loss of Bianca, as dark as it made you feel inside, and outside, with no hope of rising up to the surface again. You believed that would end up being the case, anyway. Who wouldn’t, during times like these, now?

There were only a few more Infected that had to be taken down, but they weren’t anywhere near you, anymore, so Ellie diverted her attention again, and you warily surveyed the situation. Two more had gone down, by the time you’d made your decision. You crouched down beside Bianca again, your bottom lip trembling a little as you carefully returned the shiv to its sheath, after wiping it delicately upon one of the fallen leaves surrounding the area. You then lifted your left hand up to her right cheek again, remembering how she’d told you the day before that she’d been thinking about things for a little while, before she asked if the both of you could meet up and talk a little later today. The blow was worse, when you remembered that that wouldn’t be happening for you both, anymore. Not today. Or tomorrow. Or next year.

Not unless you did something about it. You grimaced, pressing your lips into a thin line as you gritted your teeth again, looking behind you to make sure the others were distracted. They were, still finishing up their own fights as you felt for the pistol to make sure it was still tucked away within your own holster. You allowed a small sigh of relief to escape you, before you smiled feebly down at her below you, only for it to falter as soon as you were reminded of the situation at hand here; you should have got there quicker for her. You could have saved her - deep within you, you knew you could, and that almost hurt you more than anything else ever had before, but not as much as it felt, to know she was just gone, now, not lost, just gone, with no hope of revival.

You nodded gravely, trying to accept that fact, but it was impossible, so you brushed over it, and leaned down for a brief moment to delicately connect your lips to her own, no matter how much it pained you to do so, not caring at all about the blood that stained your own lips from hers’, the way it did after you’d kissed her the way you had, so soft as if you’d been afraid you’d break her, if you lost yourself within her again.

“I love you,” you whispered shakily, even if she couldn’t hear it; you just wanted her to know, before you could try and end everything the way you hoped you could do so, soon. Whether it could reunite the two of you again, you didn’t know, but you were more than willing to try. The others would be fine, now; you were sure they would be. What would be left of you, anyway, if you didn’t do this, now? You pressed another delicate goodbye to her forehead, before forcing yourself to your feet again, and making to get far away enough from the others, so they couldn’t stop you like you knew they might try to do so, if you stayed there beside her body to do it, instead.

You should have known even that wasn’t good enough a plan, as Ellie caught onto your disappearance in almost immediate effect, before she noticed how the brambles you’d been perched by before shook as if somebody had passed through, or over them. She didn’t hesitate, before guiding her mare forward to chase you as fast as she possibly could, but it didn’t take her long to catch sight of you again, the barrel of the pistol pressed to the left side of your head as if you were ready - right then and there - to take everything away again, but she couldn’t let you give up like that, though she couldn’t think why; she’d seen it happen before, but nothing could be done to stop it by herself, or Joel.

No matter who you were, she couldn’t let you suffer the same fate, not for no particular reason, anyway, that might prompt her to want you dead, though it made her feel bad to have such a thought in response to the matter at hand, here. Perhaps that was why she hesitated for a moment, lifting her gun back up as she held Shimmer to a standstill below her, so she could get a good aim to try and shoot the gun out of your hand, perhaps, if she could manage to do so, anyway. It was no doubt to her that she could; she’d handled things with much precision, before, and this time was no different - of course it wasn’t. She readied her finger upon the trigger again, her eyes narrowing a little as you seemed to be crying quietly again, somehow making her ache a bit more to hear such a painful sound escaping you.

She couldn’t hesitate any longer than she had - not now, as she drew in a deep breath, and pulled the trigger, but the gun didn’t fire, and she cursed quietly, but she didn’t have the time to react any further as she was suddenly grabbed from behind by the collar of her hoodie, only to be pulled off of her horse again, and pinned to the ground like she had been, the day she’d lost Joel. It only brought the memories back again, exactly what she’d not wanted to happen, the way it did, but it didn’t last for long. Not when someone was suddenly standing a few paces away from her, commanding the attacker to let her go for reasons currently unbeknownst to her, if there were any, anyway.

It never occurred to her that you had as much power as you did within the group, but she guessed she didn’t know you like that, as she lifted her gaze, only to find that you were holding a gun to the attacker’s head, the way you were, now, and for a brief moment, she knew it was all over; she’d been caught, and maybe you’d get the others to kill her, so she never expected you to give her the freedom that you did, especially when she’d effectively invaded what she supposed could be your own territory. She wouldn’t take that for granted, no matter what the cost might be.

X

She didn’t know why, but she decided to go back to where you and the others were residing; the pull of fatigue was enough, at this point, to dissuade her from travelling any further than she already had, from Wyoming, now to the remnants of Dixie National Forest. She stayed there a little while, and already she knew half of the group’s names like she knew the back of her hands; the chords behind her melodies. You hadn’t left the tent you’d disappeared into, the interior dark and miserable like nothing she’d ever seen before, besides those abandoned buildings she’d been lucky(?) enough to come across. That was a fact still questionable to her, however; how all her explorations had made her feel, after all this time, now. Most of all, she wondered a lot about you, and that annoyed her, in more ways than one.

One way would be that she’d only just met you, today. Well, she hadn’t even met you, yet; you’d saved her, but hadn’t in turn said a word to her, at all. You were dismissive with your companions during their interrogation of your choices, in regard to what should be done with her, given none of you knew her, the only thing they had to go off on being how she’d assisted in the fight against not just the Infected, but the remaining hunters, alongside them. It irritated her so much, that she couldn’t focus properly, almost losing another of her fingers as she chopped off some chunks of the bread she’d been offered by your sibling, Shalyla.

It wasn’t half bad, when she’d finally got past the stage of preparation, not that it was needed, anyway. She could eat as if she were starving, and aching with it, but she didn’t feel like presenting herself in such a manner, too tired to be too ravenous anyway, even if she had been running quite low on her own supplies, lately.

“Where did you come from?” The girl asked her, and the question made her tense up a little as her skeptical gaze met with great reluctance the stranger, given that she’d not yet put a name to her face just yet, like she had already most of the others who had been a little more communicative toward her, as if they saw her as a friend, and not a possible foe, somehow, even though they’d only just met her, today, and not known her for years like she assumed they had each other, by now, although she’d not been made aware of any record of them, at all.

“Why d’you wanna know?” She questioned in turn, before swallowing down another chunk of the bread she’d picked off from the part she’d been given, earlier. “You wanna use it against me?” She guessed, and Shalyla frowned, looking a little disappointed, but she guessed she understood why Ellie would think in such a manner about her and the others in residence, here. Ellie softened; truth be told she felt guilty, in a way, for reacting like that, so she decided to answer her question anyway, albeit relatively quite vaguely, regardless of such a kindness as it was, given the situation she was finding herself in, by now. “Boston,” she admitted, her voice a little quieter than it was before, but not because she wanted it to be a secret; she just didn’t have much willpower left to talk a lot about it, anymore, “I’ve been in many other places, since then, but-.. yeah, I’m originally from Boston.” Shalyla appeared taken aback; Boston was quite far from here, after all, but even that was probably an understatement in regard to the true placements of such areas, compared to others against it. “Are you just from around here, or-? What’s the deal with you guys, anyway?” She inquired, genuinely finding herself quite curious into the new group’s own origins, in comparison to her’s and the others back in Jackson, but she deemed it understandable for now, given she only recently had just met them as a collective, the way that she did, earlier, having to save pretty much all of the remaining’s asses, including your’s and Shalyla’s, from a gruesome as well as certainly untimely death.

She didn’t know if she should find it comforting, or not, though, to determine that most of the people here were her age, or something just above it. She shrugged the thought off, instead picking at her bread again as she awaited patiently for the girl to answer her the way she’d had to answer her own question, a brief moment ago, now.

“Me and my sister came here from Palmdale,” Shalyla answered nonchalantly, “some of the others said they came from around there, too, whilst most of our new friends came here from Constance, or Colorado.” She smiled softly, and Ellie couldn’t deny she felt a bit safer, by now, everyone seeming more-.. well, friendly, than she expected them to be, especially after one of the others had put a gun to her head, earlier, only for you to chide them for doing so the way that you had, then. “We’ve never had anyone come from as far as Boston, before,” she remarked, “the others won’t believe it.” She then winced, before adding quickly, as if she were afraid of putting pressure upon Ellie when she’d not even decided to make any commitments here whatsoever, just yet: “that’s if you decided to tell them, of course; you don’t have to, nor do you even have to stay here, if you don’t want to.”

Ellie nodded slowly; thoughtfully, but she cursed herself for doing so, after that, reminding herself that she hadn’t exactly been planning on falling into another group, even after everything that had taken place, recently. She sighed heavily, before shrugging, and forcing a smile up at the girl before her as if still trying to hide her pain from her, as well as the others; she’d been doing stuff like that for a little while, now, not sure what else she could do, in a situation such as this one, or what had come before with the whole Wolves situation with Dina, as well as her new nemesis, Abby.

“What exactly do you guys do here? How - How do you even protect yourselves, in a place like this?” She pried, but regretted it almost in an instant, knowing how that sounded as soon as the question had slipped from her lips, like that. “No offence, by the way; I like what you guys have got going, I just-.. it’s not-.. y’know-..” She rolled her eyes, evidently a little frustrated with herself as she averted her gaze awkwardly, but Shalyla thought nothing of it, answering as best she could, especially after Ellie had gone so far as to defend them, earlier; she deserved what they could give them, and explanations were more than included in such a pact as this one was.

“Much?” The girl guessed, and Ellie appeared taken aback again, before reluctantly nodding, and appearing relieved once it appeared that Shalyla understood what was being asked of her, a bit more, now. Perhaps she understood too much, Ellie thought, as the girl grinned to herself, before looking over her shoulder toward the rest of the camp space beyond the tent Ellie had been given space to rest within, for a little while. They could all see that she needed it, and though they were at first hesitant to provide her with such hospitality, you smoothed them right out by commanding them to set up the space for her anyway, seeing as she’d done a lot for yourself as well as the rest of them for no particular reason or prompt to do so, today. “I can see why you’d think that,” she admitted in a little more of a strained manner, but nonetheless as willing as her voice had been, before this point in time, “we don’t have great defences, that’s for sure, but-.. there’s not a lot left to get here, I guess, not with the hunters and all, and the WLFs alongside them. You probably had it better back in Boston, right?”

Ellie couldn’t deny that she’d flinched a little in response to Shalyla’s mention of the Wolves, but she tried to cover it up as best she could, pretending to cough into her right hand, only to almost choke herself in the process with another chunk of bread - it was almost finished, now, and the sight was almost enough to deject her, if it weren’t for Shalyla’s speaking up again, taking her mind back off of it, and focusing her back onto the situation at hand, here - real life, as it was, she guessed, although some parts of it still didn’t feel real enough for her. How she was still alive was one thing that evaded her understanding, at this point.

“Shit, sorry,” Shalyla began timidly again, as if she’d just been pinched for forgetting something imperative, though Ellie herself couldn’t think of anything else she might need, right now, besides a stronger will to live, alongside a drink of water, maybe. “You’re dry, right? I’ll go and get you something to drink; I just got so distracted with introductions, and stuff, I’m really-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ellie managed, her voice cracking a little before she began coughing a little again, in the end having to spit out the bread she’d been working on in the meantime just in case she got herself into anymore danger with it, again, like she almost had done so, before, if her awareness hadn’t kicked in the way it did, a brief moment ago, now.

Once Shalyla had gone, you decided to take up the mantle, though she hadn’t seen you leave the tent you’d disappeared into, once, before now. You were out of sight, at first, lingering warily to the right of the tent she was perched beneath, before you drew in a barely audible shaky breath, and decided to reveal yourself to her again.

“Something wrong with the bread we gave you?” You asked, and she appeared a little startled, just briefly, her gaze warily falling upon you, before she tried to find her voice again to answer the question you’d so unexpectedly posed upon her, the way you had, just then, without giving her a moment to recompose herself the way she’d been trying to do, before you’d decided to come out of the shadows again, the way you had, a brief moment ago, now.

“Why? Were you listening to us, or something?” She retorted, but you didn’t bother to answer her question, though you knew you probably should, considering she’d done you yourself alongside the others an honourable service in fighting alongside the group, earlier, even if she weren’t apart of it at all, just yet.

“I asked you a question,” you uttered a little dismally, “we’ve done enough for you already, it’s your turn to start giving explanations, now.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, before averting her gaze again, though she didn’t miss the pang of emptiness she felt as soon as she’d allowed her eyes to leave your’s, the way she did, just then.

“Nothing’s wrong with it, apart from the fact that it’s a little stinky and hard, but-.. yeah; it’s decent for a chunk of bread wrapped up in some dusty tin-foil,” she remarked, and you raised your eyebrows, trying not to smile, though it surprised you in turn that your lips had almost curved upward in response to her comment, like they did, just then. “That a good enough description, for you, or-?” She asked, and you didn’t bother responding, slipping back around the corner the way you had, before, and she appeared a little disappointed in response to your hasty reaction, only to be further puzzled when she noticed Shalyla hurrying back over, making her think maybe you’d decided to slip away when you’d caught sight of her, before Ellie even could.

What she couldn’t understand, was why?

XI

“Don’t mind my sister, by the way,” Shalyla remarked, as she and Ellie walked slowly the perimeter around the campsite, “she’s-.. well-.. she-..”

The girl sighed, finding words failing her as she remembered the way you used to be, compared to how quiet you were, now.

“Could weird be a good word for it? What you’re tryna get at, here?” Ellie offered, and Shalyla winced; she didn’t dare think of you in such a way, not when she knew everything you’d had to endure, anyway, to reach a point such as this one, but she didn’t fault the stranger for it, knowing she had only had a couple of encounters with you, so far, none more revealing than the last had been, anyway.

“I guess - in some ways - you could say that,” she mused, and Ellie raised her eyebrows, evidently a little more skeptical than she had been before, in regard to you.

“Alright, well - how do you see her, then?” She inquired, and Shalyla would think for a brief moment, not sure if it would be fair on you to talk about what had happened to you, after your and her little sister had gone missing, the way that she did. Neither could she imagine the thought process taken place within your head, now that you’d lost Bianca, too, alongside her, and some of your other peers, here.

“I guess-.. a good word for her would be-” she paused again for a brief moment, as Ellie watched her with nothing, but a curious expression upon her face, though she were still quite weary after the fight she’d had to endure alongside you and the others, earlier, “loyal. Mostly in the sense that she’s - well, quite family-orientated, I guess.”

Ellie couldn’t help, but scoff, trying to hide that her action then led to her feeling guilty for doing so, the way that she had, then.

“It seemed like she was more than ready to give herself up, earlier - what would have happened to you guys, if she managed to?” She speculated, and Shalyla smiled sadly over at her new - hopefully - friend, before she again averted her gaze, not sure how to describe what must be plaguing your mental state, at current, as she’d puzzled upon, before, a brief moment ago, to answer Ellie’s previous question in regard to your behaviour earlier with her being nothing more than positively ‘strange’ and unfeeling.

“Even if she did do it,” Shalyla began slowly, ready at your defence in the most friendly and awkward way as she could to avoid any new confrontations within the campsite, “I’m sure she did it, with the eyes of a martyr; she’s never done anything otherwise.” She then stopped, before timidly turning toward Ellie who faltered at the girl’s side, warily looking over at her as if still expecting someone here to turn upon her, and shoot her behind the back, somehow. “Look, I-.. I know things are awkward between the two of you now, but-.. I’m sure, if you decided you actually want to stay with us, she’ll come around to you being here, eventually,” she added gently, and Ellie rolled her eyes; she didn’t like the sound of having to wait for that to happen, as she looked over at Shalyla’s shoulder back toward the tent you had disappeared within again.

“And if I don’t want to stay here?” She inquired, and she didn’t miss how her new companion’s eyes seemed to darken at such a possibility, only making her feel worse for wear, somehow, than she was, before. “What would happen, then?” She pried, and Shalyla tried not to appear anymore dejected, somehow, but her will failed her as she forced a smile back up at the girl before her, before she turned her face awkwardly away from her all over again, like it had been between them before, Ellie beneath the tent they’d cleared out for her, whilst Shalyla had supplied her with a spare chunk of bread, hardly talking to her at first in the process of doing so.

“I guess we’ll just have to see, right?” She added, and Ellie appeared thoughtful - gravely - in turn, before she nodded her head slowly in response to Shalyla’s answer, vague as it was.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t right, however, as Ellie schemed quietly in her head as best as she could, right now. She hadn’t decided yet, whether she wanted to stay here, or venture on further than she had been able to do so, by now, so what would the harm be, if she tried to force your hand a little more than she had done so, already?

XII

She waited until it was quieter than it was, before, pretending to be fast asleep until she was certain that she could get around without a heightened risk of discovery, as well as suspicion surrounding her. She recalled her and Shalyla’s conversation; she needed to make a decision, soon, but not before she’d eased her thoughts concerning you, and why it had been that you’d accepted her here the way you had, earlier, rather than force her out the way she’d believed you would, despite her aiding the group’s attack against the Infected, as well as the hunter that had tried to take over your family’s territory once again, like so many times before. You’d lost count of them all, so far, except from the numbers you’d all managed to kill within the groupings they sent toward you.

Ellie kept low, moving quietly as she warily looked around her, before moving a few paces ahead, only stopping to check herself again whenever she heard voices close by. She moved when they faded away, hearing nothing, but the horses nearby braying, and snorting as she grinned subconsciously, though she couldn’t herself imagine why. She found this moment - although dangerous, as the group didn’t know enough about her to determine that she was truly sound a companion - quite exhilarating, and - plainly stated - therefore quite fun. It wasn’t like that for long, however, as she had to quickly dive out of sight of the two straggling figured passing by your tent, her just lingering on the outside of it, by now, so close, and yet so far. They took a while to move, and she found it painful having to stay where she was as they discussed awfully random topics like their hair, alongside palm trees on tropical islands she’d never herself been to.

It was only when they brought up the hunters again that she grew interested in what they had to say, tilting her head partially as she listened to them in sheer silence, her body tensing up a little as she did to try and focus herself more, somehow, her hands trembling just slightly as she did, trying to make sense of things even more than she had managed to do so, before, though she couldn’t deny it was difficult, at first, until this brief moment in time.

“Do you really think the hunters would take her?” One of the figures asked, another girl who looked something around a similar age to her own, but she didn’t take much notice of either of them, mainly focusing upon the words they were sharing with one another the way that she was, now, gaze averted skeptically toward the ground beneath her, by now.

“Who, Kylie?” The other replied, and the first hummed as if to indicate that the figure aforementioned was the one who she had been referring to, previously. “Why wouldn’t they? C’mon, they would have seen her defenceless out there, and thought nothing of the consequences, right?” They reminded their peer, and the other would frown, before nodding gravely as Ellie awkwardly shuffled in place, feeling a lot more uncomfortable here than she did, before, her body beginning to ache a little again with the weariness still washing over her, from before. She had travelled a long way, after all - of course she still found herself tired, the way she was, now, but she couldn’t let it stop her, as she listened on, whilst - at the same time - she urged for the two to go on walking, so she could slip into your tent, and try to get a better impression of you, somehow.

“Yeah, but-” The girl began again, only to have her speculations shot down faster than any bullet could ever travel, before.

“She was a kid, Dianne,” the other reminded her dismissively, as if he just knew he was right, and that was the end of the argument, prompting Ellie to roll her eyes subconsciously in response to the peer’s arrogant personality.

“I know, I just-.. think of what it’d do to Y/n if she ever found her there, o-or - or had them tell her that they chopped Kylie up like their other unfortunate captives,” Diana continued, this time a little quieter as if she feared you’d hear the two of them. Of course you did; if Ellie could, right outside your tent, who was to stop their words from reaching your ears, too?

She wouldn’t be surprised, if that was why the second of the pairing - Chris, short for Christopher, by what she’d gathered earlier from Shalyla as well as general conversations going on around her since she’d even arrived here - led Diana away, leaving herself alone to her own thoughts again, all of them almost as lost as ever, now that you were linked to some other missing person, now - a kid, no less. She wouldn’t let her intrigue be stalled any longer, as she pressed herself to continue her journey, before she finally reached the front of your tent, and slipped through the part of the cover left undone, as if you couldn’t even be bothered to do up its zipper anymore.

XIII

By the time she’d got there, you were still awake; you’d heard something coming - you weren’t sure what it was. You were half hoping it would just kill you; take all the dark thoughts away, but when Ellie slipped through the bottom half of the tent flaps, you knew nothing would ever change, again. You just - well, knew. You raised your eyebrows, her straightening herself out as she brushed down the dirt upon her jeans, watching you cautiously as you scoffed, before you brought your left hand up to your face to wipe the last of the sleep from the corners of your eyes; it had been building up for a while, that much you could tell, by now. You hadn’t allowed yourself to sleep for a while; the nightmares only came back in more velocity than anything else ever had, before.

Ellie couldn’t help her expression softening, when she noticed how dark and sunken your eyes seemed to be, in the natural light of the moon.

“If you think you’re some sort of Houdini getting in like that, I think you should just leave now,” you remarked, your voice barely audible, and she couldn’t help, but grin in response to your comment, certainly finding it more than amusing, though she couldn’t exactly pinpoint why, at this point.

“You really don’t like me being here, do you?” She guessed, but you didn’t answer, not sure what to say as you slowly rose from your bed, before moving toward the stainless steel bottle you’d perched upon the makeshift cabinet opposite your bedside table, a small vase stood upon it next to a little black box she found much intrigue linked to, though she couldn’t imagine why, a guessing game starting within her mind as she tried to link objects that could fit within a container of such molecular size.

“Coffee?” You offered, and she would appear taken aback, before reluctantly meeting your gaze again as if she’d just reawakened herself to the world around her, wincing as soon as she noticed the expectant look hiding behind the dark orbs of your eyes before her.

“Who drinks coffee at an hour like this?” She questioned, in turn, and it was your turn to fight back a smile, bowing your head again as you poured yourself a cup of it, before setting the bottle back down in its previous place, and awkwardly shuffling as you tried to find another answer for her again.

“People who like to keep their wits about them,” you answered patiently, “even when their at their weakest.” Her eyes tracked you cautiously, as though you were a being unpredictable to her; a silent creature - no, a gracious hunter, tracking its prey, but she didn’t think of you as being one of the bad ones, despite not knowing you as much as she knew your sister, Shalyla, by now. “You ask a lot of questions,” you added a little more exasperatedly, before sitting heavily back down upon your bed, as miserable looking as it was; she could tell you’d hardly used it, and you feared this of her; how she was recognising such things and linking them to you, but you didn’t dare tell her to stop for fear of what it - in turn - would make her think, or expect of you, then.

“Is that a bad thing for you, or-? What’s the big deal, here?” She pried, and you grunted, but she knew through the bemused look upon your face that you were accusing her of doing it again, though it didn’t bother you as much as you seemed to make it out to do so, earlier.

“It’s not a bad thing, it’s just-..” you sighed, having to try and find the right words again to explain your thoughts and feelings on needless topic for her - you didn’t doubt it would soon become a recurrent thing between you both, if she ever decided to stay with you and the others in the near future, somehow, “it’s annoying, okay? That’s all.”

You frowned, recognising the impatient tone that had escaped you, only making you feel worse than you had, before; you didn’t like snapping at people like that, that much was clear, right now.

“Then it seems we both have a problem, right? If I do decide to stay, though I don’t know why I’d even bother to want to, right now - you know I’d still ask questions, don’t you? You’d want me to leave, as fast as I came, wouldn’t you?” She assumed, and you appeared thoughtful for a moment, perhaps considering such a anecdote for a beat too long than you should have, flashes of different possibilities flickering through your mind, but there was only one problem with that; Bianca was gone, and you'd never be able to see her again, now. It made your heart sink, slowly but surely, as your gaze subconsciously fell upon the little black box Ellie had taken much notice of, earlier, before you both had even started talking evenly, like this. Her gaze followed your's, and she grew ever intrigued by the situation at hand, here. "There's a ring in there, isn't there?" She guessed, and infinitely correctly before she even realised it, but you ignored her observation, pressing your lips together grimly, for a moment, before you - more suddenly than any movement you'd ever made, got up to press a small shiv to her bare neck.

She faltered as soon as it happened, unable to react quickly enough as you pressed her with your free left hand roughly against the cabinet behind you both, rattling it a little as you did, but it didn't last for long, you tensing up almost as soon as it stopped, and that was when she noticed the small tears clouding your vision; the pained, but unsuccessfully hidden, look on your face as you tried not to let your façade drop again, though it certainly seemed to have done so already, whether you were aware of it, or not, Ellie couldn't tell, looking back at you defiantly even as the blade lightly pierced her skin - the moment you remembered yourself, scoffed, and allowed the shiv to slip from your fingers before it fell down to the ground beneath the both of you, as you made to turn your back on her vulnerably all over again.

She could have grabbed the fallen blade, dug it into your flesh, and watched you bleed, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, still recovering from the moment, and the unusual spark she'd caught within your eyes.

“You’re right,” you managed a little more hoarsely as you picked up the little box within your hands, the index finger of your right brushing over the inscription upon the surface of the container, still gilded, but fading slowly over time. “Maybe we do have a problem,” you uttered, and she didn’t know what to for a moment as you turned back to her, your gaze briefly meeting her own again, before it flickered back toward the ground as if afraid of being trapped within her own bright, but nonetheless tired orbs - much like your own - somehow. “Maybe we always will,” you added a little quieter, and she narrowed her eyes as you seemed to offer up the box to her for a reason unbeknownst to her, as of this moment in time, “take it.”

“What-?” She continued, and you rolled your eyes in response, before pressing it closer to her, insistent upon the matter though it still hurt you to do so, somehow, as if you were still dreadfully attached to the ring even now that Bianca was gone.

“Take. It,” you repeated a little more firmly, and she couldn’t do it, shaking her head as she even eased the box back into your palms, before closing your fingers delicately over it.

“I’m not here to steal from you,” she stated gently, and you softened again, your heart skipping a beat, taking you aback as you winced, her smiling softly over at you as the moment began to feel unreal, all over again, “look, I-.. I know that things haven’t started out great between us, but I want to show you that you can trust me, okay?”

It was hard to just plainly say ‘no’ in response to her offer, her eyes somehow ensnaring you again as you tilted your head partially, wondering why you felt so lost again, but safe, all at the same time, as long as she were there before you - this-.. this more than confident stranger, who’d saved your life more than once, already. You sighed, before forcing your gaze away from her own no matter how difficult it was for you to do so.

“How am I supposed to do that, then?” You inquired, and - in a dumbfounding moment of peace, yet rippling confusion - Ellie meandered around your still sunken frame, before she sat down upon the edge of your cold bed, and patted for you to sit beside her.

Of course, you hesitated, but she expected that from you, at first, but she didn’t let it deter her, as she smiled kindly up at you again, before offering brightly up the words in a slither of apprehension, alongside some hints of trepidation: “let’s talk, and see how far we get, shall we?”

XIV

You’d never talked that much, before. At least, not in a few years, now. She listened patiently to every word, and you felt like a child again; actually at peace, and contented with yourself, but since the day of the Outbreak had taken place…

You didn’t notice the tears that escaped your eyes again, until one slipped slowly down your cheek, and you stopped talking for a brief moment to clear it away, not starting again until you felt you could, somehow, the feeling of her left hand resting upon your right shoulder encouraging you to continue, or was it just that you’d managed momentarily to fight the lump in your throat back, allowing you to speak all the more without it threatening to break you down again?

“It’s funny,” you mused, and she narrowed her eyes a little over at you, as if trying to comprehend your comment, but she didn’t dare interrupt, instead distracting herself by admiring a little freckle residing just underneath your right ear, “that things can change so quickly, isn’t it? One second, you think everything’ll stay the way it is; you won’t lose what you’ve built, or been gifted, and then - j-just-.. out of nowhere-.. everything seems to just-.. disappear, I guess.” You paused again, unsure of whether you should go on for fear of what she’d think of you, if you did, though you couldn’t imagine why you even cared anymore; things had been hurting non-stop, lately - if she wanted to pick up a gun, or the shiv you’d threatened her with half-heartedly earlier, she could, and you’d gladly allow her to end your miserable existence with either of them, maybe even both, somehow. You sighed, a shaky thing, and still she didn’t say a word, wanting you to be able to vent to her, but she guessed - at the same time - the sound of your voice was calming to her, and she feared that speaking up herself would mean she wouldn’t be able to hear it again like this, tonight, a thought she found disturbing, but nonetheless strangely warming, as she again allowed her gaze to fall upon your side profile, a faint smile playing on her lips as if it comforted her to know you were still there, and not rushing off again, somehow. “I still think it’s my fault,” you admitted a little dejectedly, and her heart sank a little alongside your’s as she shook her head subconsciously, though she didn’t yet know what it was you were attributing such a notion toward, the way that you were, now.

“What do you mean? What’s your fault, exactly? From what I’ve heard, you’ve done nothing wrong; the hunters took Bianca away, and where Kylie is concerned-”

“Don’t,” you interjected, a little panic-stricken, and she faltered, noticing the worried look upon your face; how your eyes widened as another tear managed to fall down from your chin, to your right hand. You winced, feeling it, and she frowned, not sure what else to do, though she wished there was more she could say, somehow, to convince you that none of what had taken place could ever be used to fault you. “You - You don’t understand, okay? Things have been-..” You cursed quietly as you got up off of the bed again, though it pained you to do so.

“I understand you,” she contradicted, after a further brief moment of silence had passed between you, and - though her voice was quiet, it was filled with a bold degree of certainty, “a few years ago, my best friend turned right in front of me; I couldn’t save her - I still think about that day.” You tensed up, reluctantly turning your head a little as you heard the bed creaking again; she had got up a moment after you, and you could almost feel that she stood a few paces away from you. It was unbearable, feeling as if you couldn’t breathe again, the way it had been whenever you and Bianca were together, before. “Do you think that makes it my fault? She saved me; if she didn’t, maybe things would have been-..” Ellie faltered alongside you, before she fought back the doubtful thoughts again; the accusations still residing within her, though she was trying to prove them wrong, for your sake as much as her own. “A little after that, I met this guy named Joel,” she continued, but it was hard to keep herself stable, her voice trembling a little more than it did, before, especially as you half turned to face her, a pained expression on your own face as you wished you could take the pain away from her, somehow, seeing it had impacted upon her a great deal much like your own had been doing even more so, now, “I thought-… I thought I finally had a father, and - and these people, they-.. they came, and they-..” She couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t fight as hard anymore, as the tears came spilling down her own cheeks, as it seemed to grow ever harder for her to breathe, alongside their steady fall. “They took him from me, okay? They took him, and I tried to stop them, but-.. but they-”

You shook your head slowly, your heart aching fitfully alongside her own as you subconsciously inched closer to her, but you winced upon doing so, not sure what to do; you didn’t know if she’d want you to try and comfort her like that - why would she, if you’d both only just met one another earlier today? Why would you, in turn, even want to, then, not knowing her as long as you’d known the others; your own sister, and mother? You averted your gaze awkwardly, though it pained you again to do so for reasons unbeknownst to you, but soon she found it within herself to continue, no matter how much it continued to pain her to do so, like she did, then.

“The girl I loved back where I stayed with them,” she continued slowly, as though every word came from the suspension of agony, pronounced by the struggled and strained breaths that accompanied them, made everything within that moment in time all the more harder for the both of you to bear, as drew closer to breaking down further with each word, and you tried desperately not to through your arms around her again, “she left me too, and I should have seen what I was doing to her, but I didn’t, because I wanted to avenge him; I wanted to-.. to stop them all; to hurt them like they hurt me, and I tried - I swear I tried, okay? But it wasn’t enough; I didn’t kill all of them-.. Abby-..” She winced, reminding herself of the name she’d been cursing for so long, now. “I let her go,” she murmured a little more dejectedly, and your expression softened further as you glanced back up at her, somehow seeing more to her than you ever had before, the moment she’d first presented herself to you, “so don’t you dare try and say that I don’t understand you, because I do, okay!? You don’t think I go through every day, now, just - just wondering continuously what would have happened, if I did things differently? Huh? You don’t think that I’ve blamed myself before, for stuff like that? Well, you’re wrong, because I have; I’ve blamed myself every. Fucking. Day, for everything that happened, before, so please don’t just think that you’re alone in this, like I did, before, because you’re not alone, okay? Nobody is.” She fell quiet then, after her voice had cracked once more, her chest rising and falling quicker than it ever had, before, since she’d arrived here, as she tried to catch her breath; tried to keep herself together again, somehow. She failed, miserably, at that, but still she tried to keep that from you; safely at bay, just enough for her to muster up a few more words, though her entire body seemed to ache with the reminder of it all, somehow. “You know that, right?” She added, and you didn’t know what to say, for a moment finding yourself fighting back tears alongside her all over again, before you couldn’t fight it back anymore, and had your arms wrapped around her now shaky frame.

The next moment, she didn’t know what happened, but there was one thing she knew: she’d never felt this safe, before.

XV

Since that moment, you’d both been practically inseparable, to the point that the others were starting to talk under their breaths about the two of you. You’d even heard, once, that rumours were going around about you being Ellie’s bodyguard, and-.. well, you didn’t know what to think about that, but the thought of losing her did make you tense up, and have to take a short moment alone to try and recover yourself for her, as well as the others - of course - somehow. Since these rumours had been circling, you’d both been a little more - private, with one another, only going together where you couldn’t be seen, though neither of you could determine exactly why you were doing so.

You determined that there was nothing to it; this whole-.. scenario, you mused, trying to fight back against the guilt that washed over you, whenever you were reminded of Bianca, again. Ellie, too, took on a similar approach, often reminded of Dina, whatever she was doing, now.

On one of the next cold evenings; she couldn’t determine which one, now, considering there has been a few, at this point, she leaned heavily against one of the tall oak trees, wondering subconsciously at the survival of such natural elements such as these, as well as the occasional bushes lining the area. You didn’t reveal yourself to her, at first, warily lingering a few paces away from her, the brambles aforementioned serving as a good hiding place, for you, though you weren’t sure what had even driven you to hiding, the way that you were, now, your hands shaking a little as you tried to think of what you could say, before you shrugged the fear away, and pushed yourself finally to journey toward her, trying to make as little noise as you could, wanting to see how she’d react if you did so, sneaking up on her the way that you were, now.

You wondered if she’d get mad at you - if she’d be pleased with you, but you were too out of focus to think for too long on any of the possibilities lingering before you, right now, getting ever closer to her with every small step you took, to get to this point in time. She couldn’t deny she’d not seen it coming; how you’d suddenly emerged behind her, before making a snarl-like sound to try and scare her, somehow, just a fleeting moment of what you felt comfortable enough to do around her, right now, especially after the moment you’d both shared with each other before in the safe confinements of your previously grim-looking tent, before.

“Shit-!” She whisper-shouted, as she whirled around to catch sight of you behind her, now laughing quite heartily as she rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help it as a small smile fought to appear, and though she managed to restrain it just enough, the dimples still appeared despite the restraint, and it didn’t hesitate to make your heart stutter in your chest, as you acknowledged that you’d got her to smile, at least a little, as it hadn’t been something she’d done a lot in front of you, since her very arrival here.

You couldn’t help yourself, as you thought silently that you wished she would show it to you more often; the smile she tried to hide away from you, still, even after you’d both revealed so much to each other, before.

“Admit it,” you encouraged teasingly, after you’d managed to recover from the fits of laughter that had rolled over you, the way that they did, a brief moment ago, now, “admit that I managed to actually scare you, this time.”

“Fuck off,” Ellie remarked, after scoffing, but you raised your eyebrows, determined to win against her, somehow, “you did not scare me; I knew it was you before I even turned around.”

You grunted, as if generally frustrated by her stubborn protestations, but you giggled, all the same, still finding it funny, the way she fought for her cause, despite how you’d definitely caught the way she jumped, after you’d performed a make-shift - and hopefully Oscar worthy - snarl behind her, the way that you did.

“Yeah, right,” you commented nonetheless confidently, and the smile only grew upon her lips, though she’d done her best to try and subdue it, again, as if afraid of what you’d think of it, if she gave it away to you, too much, though she couldn’t imagine why the idea terrified her - all she could think of, was how she’d lost those she’d given up so much to, and how she didn’t want to make the same mistakes again, especially not now that she’d found you, and had found at least some form of happiness again, whether it would end up being temporary again, or not so inconsistent, she didn’t know, and - in some grim ways - she was certain she would never want to know, not where the two of you were concerned, the way that you were, now, somehow. “What are you doing alone out here, anyway?” You questioned, and she winced, keeping her gaze stuck to the ground beneath her as she awkwardly hugged herself to free herself of some of the cold around her, whilst also providing some amount of comfort to her nerves in doing so, not that she really needed it, but-.. it was nice to have, anyway - who could question something like that so readily?

No-one, she hoped; you certainly didn’t pull her up on it, and she thanked whatever she could for that aspect of you; your discretion - you didn’t have to question her on things you didn’t suspect her on, and - during times like these - she couldn’t be more grateful for that from you, at least - right now, anyway.

“If you’re really so concerned about my whereabouts enough to even follow me wherever I go,” she began a little more indifferently again, as you almost froze in response to her foundations of the question you could just feel on its way to a sharp arrival, the way that it was, now, she briefly lifted her gaze to look up at you again, and you couldn’t explain how your throat ceased up, feeling her eyes upon you, again. It was enough to make you want to turn, and make a run for it, before she could finish the accusation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, even after the question had finally slipped from her lips, only to arrive delayed within your ears, the way you couldn’t deny it did, then. “Then I guess I should ask you, too, what you’re doing out here? I thought you were supposed to be on duty with your sister-”

“She let me stay,” you explained timidly, and Ellie raised her eyebrows in turn, evidently in disbelief of your previous statement, but you guessed you could understand why; you were often quite committed to the perimeter runs you all had to make together eventually, to clear the area of any straggling infected, as well as of any blood thirsty intruders who were blatant in their not meaning well for any of you, here. Thus, you knew she probably deemed this moment to be unusual for you, especially as you’d gone out of your way to stay just so you could be around her, like this. “Albeit reluctantly,” you added, after an exasperated sigh, and that made a bit more sense to her, grinning as she averted her gaze down to the ground again; she imagined it would have been an awkward conversation between the two of you, but she couldn’t imagine why you would have requested this of Shalyla, for her, or just yourself. She winced; the notion had come up so quickly - too quickly, that you would have done this for her, and she knew this could be her treading dangerously, and it didn’t exactly make her feel good about herself, especially after what had happened between her and Dina, before.

“So-..?” She began again awkwardly, but couldn’t bring herself to continue as she awaited a further response from you, hoping you could make the atmosphere clearer for her again, the way you had before, with your arms around her like they had been, at the time.

“So - I’m here, aren’t I? What? Did you want me to go?” You inquired, evidently curious as you narrowed your eyes over at her, as your heart pounded almost too fast against your ribcage to the point that it only left you all the more frustrated again, carrying out the way things were between you both, right now.

“No-!” She answered, as if taken aback by your assumption, and you raised your own eyebrows again, trying to ignore the flutter you felt within your stomach at her interjection - it could be that you’d just eaten something you shouldn’t have eaten, or whatever, anyway; there was no point in worrying about it too much - right? You felt a little more uneasy, then, but tried to hide this from your expression, focusing your gaze intently upon her own as she stammered for a brief moment, as if trying to find the right words to say again. “I - I just meant-.. I meant-..” She groaned, evidently just as frustrated - or more - than you were, even trying to shrug it off as she cleared her throat, and bowed her head back down, again.

“I know what you meant,” you reassured her gently, and she faltered upon feeling your right hand resting upon her left shoulder. For a moment, she found she couldn’t look away from you, her eyes stuck on your’s, and you didn’t know what to do, feeling your face growing warmer than it ever had, before. “Shit, sorry,” you began again a little quieter, before withdrawing your hand from her, though it made you both feel a little emptier as a result of you doing so, the way that you had. “I wanted to ask you something, but-..” You fell quiet again, everything feeling too warm around you as you tried to recompose yourself again, a pained expression on your face as soon as you gave in, not sure what you’d had in mind, anymore, the way you had it, before.

“Allow me to guess, then,” Ellie stated, and you felt a little less hopeless, watching as she pushed hearse off of the tree, a faint smile playing on her lips as she, too, tried to think of a reasonable thing that you may want to ask her for some reason unbeknownst to her; she never expected she’d be on completely the right lines, especially when it came to her first try of the makeshift game you two shared together, “let’s see-.. you - hm. Do you-.. wanna be my bodyguard, or something? I just feel like that’s something you’d wanna do don’t know why, so - y’know, correct me if I’m wrong - if I’m ever wrong, okay?”

“Actually,” you spoke up again, before she could make further guesses, “you’ll never believe this, but you’re right - I - I was thinking, and-”

“Wait, h-hold on,” she managed, and you faltered in place to anxiously look over at her again, “seriously? Of all the things you’d wanna ask me - that’s what you’re going with? Y/n-”

“What? You didn’t think I’d want to protect you, or something? I basically try and protect everyone here-”

“Yeah, but you’re not their bodyguards, are you? They’ve never referred to you like that, and you have never referred to yourself like that, before,” she contradicted, and you rolled your eyes, evidently growing to be frustrated again, especially when all you wanted to do was defend her, like you did the others; it didn’t exactly matter what they called you, you mused, so why start now? “C’mon, there’s got to be something else you wanna ask me - isn’t there?” She pried, and you shrugged, though there were things, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say any of them, to her; why would you, when they didn’t exactly matter, anyway?

“I just-.. thought-.. I don’t know,” you murmured a little awkwardly, “Ellie-”

A familiar snarl sounded out somewhere behind her, and you faltered, your eyes widening as soon as your gaze fell upon the Clicker a few paces away from you both, by now.

“Fuck,” she spat, the situation becoming sharply clear to her, only now, as she looked over her shoulder to see the enemy trying to seek the two of you out, somehow - slowly, but surely, anyway, despite its lack of sight over the years, “it must have heard us talking-”

“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” you reassured, but she took out her shiv anyway, moving cautiously to the left of you just in case she was needed, here, but you managed to take out the unfortunate being clean, except you seemed to forget that there would always be a straggler, wherever another straggler may go.

In this case, it happened to be a Runner who’d followed behind its companion, the way it did, just then, easily catching sight of you as you grinned sheepishly over at her, hoping - for a strange, brief moment - that maybe you’d impressed her, somehow. Maybe that was partly why you didn’t notice the other one, only hearing it when it was too late for you too so much about it, but luckily Ellie was way ahead of you where this one was concerned, throwing herself toward it before it could get to you, before she struggled with it for a little while, you not sure what to do as you helplessly looked on, stricken by a panic you’d never felt before, making it hard even to move, now, somehow, but she knew what she was doing, thrusting the Runner against the tree behind it, before she swiftly embedded the blade of her shiv into its bare neck, it beginning to gurgle as blood ran down from its mouth, and - of course - the wound.

You hoped you wouldn’t be blamed, if you looked away as she dragged the blade across the left and right of where she’d not cut it, yet, only making a slow, but sure death more likely than it had been, before. When she was finally done with it, she allowed the body to drop to the ground after retrieving her weapon, before she warily looked back at you, trying to catch her breath again as she did.

“Some bodyguard, huh?” She remarked, and you winced upon catching onto the sarcastic tone she’d adopted into her voice, as the comment was made.

You flushed a little, bowing your head as you tried to search for an explanation in regard to your previous behaviour. She didn’t need it, but she couldn’t help, but find the way in which you stammered over your words for a brief moment more amusing than the movements of the Infected attackers had been, a brief moment ago, now.

“I - I panicked, I-.. I don’t know what happened, I’m really-” You managed, but she shook her head subconsciously as she crouched before you, her expression softening all the more as her gaze met your own again.

“It’s okay,” she reassured you gently, “we all make mistakes, remember? You more than me, though, clearly.”

“Yeah, yeah, way to rub it in even more,” you murmured a little faintly, evidently embarrassed again, only making her grin even more over at you, to the point she couldn’t bring herself to fight it back much anymore, especially not around you, when things were finally more - at ease - between you both, now. You looked nervous again, even fidgeting with your fingers a little, as she cautiously looked around the two of you to make sure there were no more of the stragglers around, but she couldn’t say she saw any, or heard any, by now, for that matter. She expressed relief, before making to get up off of the ground again, when you continued cautiously, as if you were afraid of what she’d say, next, if whatever you had planned in mind came out wrong, somehow: “Ellie-”

It didn’t come out, at all. She offered you her right hand, and you seemed to tense up a little again, words forgotten as you stared at her offering for a little while, before allowing your gaze to meet her own again, somehow, without any panic befalling you whatsoever. Instead, it was replaced by a feeling of contentment, and the warmth that came with it, filtering in through your chest, back up to your face again; you only hoped she didn’t notice; that maybe the trees were enough to block the sun from making it all the more clearer to her that you had somehow found yourself beginning to blush, somehow, as she encouraged you to get up off of the ground alongside her, knowing the two of you probably shouldn’t stay out here for too long, for fear of discovery by all types of things, but - mostly - she wanted to ensure that you could both just - be, in the confines of a safe place together, where you could hopefully talk without interruption, somehow, and that was why she found herself leading you back toward your tent, all over again.

XVI

Of course, people talked when they saw the two of you, and you rolled your eyes whenever you heard them. Besides, nothing weird was going on, but they always made it seem like there was, somehow. Ellie kept her head low, as you asked those you passed nonchalantly how their days were going, before you both finally got to the flaps of your tent, and you held one of them open to get her inside.

“So - that was-” Ellie began awkwardly, as you said: “I’m really sorry-”

The both of you fell quiet, your cheeks flushing again as she winced, though a soft smile fought to play on her lips again in response to this development.

“You go first,” she offered, albeit timidly, and you raised your eyebrows, before you shook your head timidly, managing a wary smile up at her as you lifted your right hand up as if to offer the gesture back to her; the bandage made it a little difficult to do so, but she knew what you meant, and she hesitated, before deciding to accept your offering, though it made her feel guilty in a way, wondering what would happen if you spoke first, instead of her; where you both would be, now, together, but she tried to push it away, trying to tell herself it was probably just a stupid, small thing like her own remark turned out to be. “I was - er - basically just saying that it was - awkward, out there; tense - all those people - y’know,” she appeared a little embarrassed, and you frowned, before nodding gravely - it certainly had been, though you wished it wouldn’t be like that again; the way it was, when you and Bianca had started seeing one another more often than you ever had, before, in front of the others. It still made your shoulders slump a little, as your heart in turn sank from its original place, to think she was truly just-.. gone, now, no matter what; you never thought you’d lose her, like that, before, and so it just- “what did you want to say?”

You appeared taken aback, wincing as you recovered your train of thought, but it had never happened like that, before.

“E-Er-.. I just - wanted-.. t-to-.. shit,” you uttered, evidently a little panicked, and she couldn’t help, but grin sheepishly over at you, as though she saw past your panic with no trouble at all, her eyes glinting ever so slightly as she did.

Others would probably just tell you to snap out of it; things felt so - strange, today. Although, you couldn’t deny they’d been that way, since Ellie had first arrived here, the way that she did, before.

“Well, you know where the toilet is, right? Don’t do it in front of me - ever, okay?” She commented, and you rolled your eyes, though it was an effort to fight back the giggle that wanted to escape you, the way it did, then.

You sighed, before shaking your head gravely, and she tilted her head partially, her eyes narrowing a little curiously over at you as you tried to find the right words again, wishing the fluttering that began again in your stomach would dissipate as fast as it had come, but - to no avail - it stayed there, all the same, throughout this moment in time, for too many reasons unbeknownst to you, though the feeling was nonetheless familiar to you, at this point in time. Especially after what had taken place between you and Bianca, before.

“You know I didn’t mean that,” you mustered up, eventually, and she raised her eyebrows skeptically again, only making your face burn more as you kept your gaze stuck down at the ground beneath you, wishing you didn’t find it hard to talk to her all the time, whenever you were especially close to her, like you were, now. “I just-.. I wanted to say-..” You grunted, as if frustration was overwhelming you, by now. “Ellie-”

“Take your time,” she cooed gently, and you felt even more numb when you realised she was stood ever closer to you, her right hand resting upon your left shoulder again as her eyes now bore into your own, as if searching for something you yourself didn’t even know you could find there, somehow - it was almost like… she could see - everything, about you, all in the space of a few seconds, and you didn’t realise you’d neglected to talk, until she herself spoke up again, clearing her throat as if trying to regain focus herself, somehow. “Look, maybe-.. maybe you’re over-tired,” she mused, “have a nap?” The idea did sound quite appealing, actually, until you no longer felt her hand delicately squeezing your shoulder the way it did, before. “I can go, if you want me to-? I don’t want to interrupt, or anything, if-”

“No,” you managed weakly, and she faltered, her expression softening as she glanced back at you again, before she could even reach to open the tent flap up again, the way you had, a brief moment ago, now. “I - I just-.. shit, I’m sorry,” you began again, and the soft smile fought with Ellie’s conscience again, “okay, I think I know what I wanted to say before.”

She fully turned toward you again, curious as she awaited for you to continue, before she realised maybe you wanted her to prompt you to continue, first, though she couldn’t imagine why, you looking a little apprehensive as if battling yourself over whether she’d want to hear what you had to say, or not, somehow. Of course she had to appease you, smiling softly in your direction again as she directed you to sit down again beside her upon the edge of your bed, which you did so, with a further great reluctance, this time.

“I’m listening,” she reassured, and you warily smiled back at her, but it didn’t linger long upon your lips, before you’d averted your gaze again, fidgeting with your fingers as she wondered how bad this could possibly be, somehow, compared to what she’d had to say, earlier, in regard to the suspicious gazes of those probably eavesdropping, for all that the both of you knew, right now.

“It’s probably stupid, but-..” You began again nonetheless nervously, her listening patiently to every word again as you pondered, her focus never faltering, even when you found yourself stammering and stumbling over your sentences again, the way that you did earlier around her, as well. “I just-.. I wanted to say - I’m sorry,” you stated, and she looked confused again, but that didn’t prompt her to interrupt, her knowing better than to do so, especially when you made to continue again shortly after that brief moment, your eyes darkening a little as you thought back to Bianca all over again, “the others, if - if they’re making you feel uncomfortable, I can-”

“No,” she interrupted gently, and you appeared taken aback again, your heart skipping a beat as she rested her left hand softly upon your’s, and you couldn’t help it as you allowed your gaze to meet her own again, prompting you to have to fight back a shudder, though you weren’t sure why, a pained expression on your face as you kept your head low, again, knowing you couldn’t lose control of yourself - not now. Although, you did wonder what it would mean, if you just inched a little closer to her than you had, already. “It’s fine; they don’t make me feel anything like that, okay? Don’t worry,” she cooed, and you expressed relief, “to be honest, when I see them looking at us, I find it just-.. well, comical, I guess - it’s like.. they don’t know what to make of us; it’s hard not to laugh, whenever I think of them, and see them like that.”

You smiled softly back at her, evidently relieved as you looked back at her again, your heart pounding too fast the way it had been, before, though you weren’t sure why, and were scared - at the same time - you’d put everything together, soon enough, in regard to your feelings toward her presence around you, the way it was, now.

“Good,” you responded, and it relaxed her to hear how exasperated you sounded, whilst the smile still reflected through your voice, right now, suggesting you were at least more at ease, than you had been, a little earlier, by now, “that - that’s good.”

“It - It is, isn’t it?” She reflected alongside you, as she herself smiled a little more warmly back at you, though her heart stuttered in her chest as she did, somehow. Silence passed between the two of you again, and she felt her face growing too warm alongside your’s the longer her eyes were locked within your own bright orbs. She rubbed the back of her neck, managing a breathy ‘so’ as she tried to bring herself back to the moment in real time again.

You winced, realising you’d got carried away in her eyes again as you rolled your own orbs at yourself, before awkwardly clearing your throat, and bowing your head back down again.

“We should-.. probably-”

“Yeah,” Ellie agreed, reluctantly, as she made to get back up off of the bed again, though it made her feel emptier than before to do so like she did, then, “I’ll, er - I’ll see you tomorrow, again, right?”

“I should think so, considering I am your bodyguard, now, aren’t I?” You reminded her, the smile playing faintly upon your own lips again, alongside her own, now, as soon as she were reminded of your and her previous conversation, together.

“Oh yeah; the inexperienced bodyguard game,” she mused, and you pouted a little up at her, but she maintained her view, until she decided she couldn’t leave such a title in the air, anymore, “I’m just kidding - you know I am; you’ll get there, eventually - I know you will, even if takes you years to do so.”

She stopped before the tent flaps again, her heart jolting a little as soon as she heard you voice her name gently again.

“Tomorrow,” you began timidly, “we’ll be on duty together; Lyla’s okay with it, so-.. I was thinking, could I - show you someplace? I, er-.. I like going there to think, sometimes, and I was hoping maybe you’d like it there, too - it - it’a okay if you don’t want to - of course it is, I just-”

“I’d love to,” she reassured you, and you forgot how to breathe all over again, your eyes hopelessly locking with her own again, “you’d better get some sleep; I expect my bodyguards to be up bright and early for me, no matter how inefficient they may be, sometimes. Tomorrow, yeah?”

You expressed relief again, smiling a little sheepishly up at her, before you nodded, and managed to find your voice again, somehow, though it seemed it easily went away all over again, regardless, whenever you found yourself in the blessing of her presence, again.

“Tomorrow, bright and early,” you confirmed a little breathlessly, as if still trying to recompose yourself, somehow.

She appeared more at ease, again, though she hated the idea of having to leave you, the way that she did.

“Good,” she responded timidly, “I look forward to seeing you there.”

“I’m glad; I look forward to seeing you there, too,” you returned softly, and she lingered for a brief moment, trying to hide the pained expression on her face that came with having to leave you, the way that she knew she should, but she knew she couldn’t stay there all day, as she nodded her head faintly, before managing a quiet ‘night’, and pushing herself to leave, whilst the hurt process - for the both of you, this time - seemed to begin, dreadfully all over again.

XVII

You hardly slept, that night, tormented by old memories you’d made alongside Bianca, whilst your heart pounded too quickly against your ribcage again.

“Oh, c’mon,” you heard her say in your head, whining and appearing a little disappointed as you sat back down upon the edge of your bed again, finding yourself anxious that you’d only make things worse, if you tried to continue dancing with her, the way you had, then.

“I’m sorry,” you responded, the edges of your vision hazy as you imagined one another together, her arms around you as her eyes silently begged you to get up again for her, at least one more time, anyway, before you both had to go back home again to the others, like you had to do so as well - albeit nothing but begrudgingly, every time before, “look, maybe-.. maybe I’m just not graceful enough to learn this; maybe we should just-”

“We’re not going back home; not until I set this right,” she’d responded, that day, making it all the more harder to breathe as you’d glanced back up at her, nothing short of timidly, as if you were afraid of just making things worse, somehow, if you didn’t convince her to give up on you, the way you wished she would, now, before it could grow to be too late for her to do so, already, surely a prospect not too far away, at the time, “look-” You remembered how she’d sighed, sounding exasperated with the moment; how she longed to hold you close again, the way she had before. “Maybe you aren’t graceful, enough, or it’s the fact that maybe you just need to trust me enough to let me lead.”

You remembered how you’d smiled, then, as she’d offered you her right hand to help you back up off of the bed. How you’d then taken it within your left hand, before allowing her to spin you around as you’d advanced up before her. She’d giggled, then, and for a brief moment, you wished you could hear it again, somehow. That was when the angels came.

Your eyelids fluttered open again lazily, and everything was much too bright; the sun glared through the material of your tent, not strong enough to fight it back as you groaned, turning away from it, but it wasn’t enough to make the atmosphere any better, or easier to handle, for you. You grunted, raising your right hand up to your eyes to rub them; you didn’t notice the two of your companions, their shadows blurred beyond recognition, as of this moment, until they finally decided to speak up, and therefore startle you when you least needed them to do so, right now.

“Jeez - it looks like you had another of those rough nights, am I right?” Diana remarked, and you rolled your eyes upon recognition of her voice, a few paces away from you, by now.

“Hi, Diana,” you replied awkwardly, your voice straining a little aa you sat up, groaning as you did as if your back pained you as you stretched your arms upwards, trying to prepare yourself hastily for the day ahead of you, arrived much too soon, “what do you need, now?”

The girl appeared a little dismayed, as well as puzzled, looking toward Shalyla, as if the two had the ability to Shine with one another, somehow.

“You’re meant to be riding out with Ellie, today, remember?” Your sister reminded you gently, and - of course - Diana being Diana, couldn’t resist to tease you as best she could, to keep the dark parts of you away from hurting you again, somehow.

“More like riding on Ellie,” she remarked, and you tensed up, taken aback by her comment as Shalyla winced, trying not to giggle in response to her as you rolled your eyes, trying to hide that what she’d said had most definitely had some effect on you, no matter what it meant to do so; you didn’t dare think too deeply on it, shaking your head gravely, before you began to recall what you’d been planning on doing today; how you’d wanted to show her an old Campground of your fancy; you’d often felt quite safe there, at times, the parties the previous owners held being of a bright time for you and your sister, until - of course - Outbreak Day had come, deeming it no longer usable as long as danger were on the horizon, which it very much still was, now, no matter the talk of some distant cure you’d heard, over the years.

“Shit, okay,” you murmured, quickly getting out of your bed to try and get yourself ready as fast as you possibly could, trying your best to ignore Diana as much as you possibly could, though you couldn’t deny her comment had got to you, more than anything ever had, before, somehow.

“Wow, that was quick - right, Lyla?” She continued, and Shalyla awkwardly nodded, though she knew it would probably be inappropriate for her to begin heightening her own suspicions, as well, given that she could somewhat sense a connection between you and Ellie, especially the day after she’d first arrived, here.

“That it was,” she mused, and you rolled your eyes again, evidently annoyed at the both of them, by now.

“I wonder why-”

“Look, I don’t know what you guys are thinking, but-.. there’s nothing going on, between me and Ellie, okay?” You interjected a little sharply, but Shalyla knew you; she heard the hesitation in your voice; noticed how your expression softened when you spoke her name again before them. You sighed heavily, as the two of them shared a half-hearted look of knowing, though - at the same time - they didn’t exactly know what to think of the notion itself, at play here, between the two of you, now, especially after Bianca hadn’t been gone for long, by now, the way that things were. “I need to go,” you murmured, sounding a little more dejected than before as you meandered around the two of them, more than certainly avoiding their gazes, but you knew you couldn’t hide from them forever; you’d just have to deal with that fact, as you strolled resignedly toward the stable area, having to fight off - as you went, somehow - the painful memories of you and Bianca again.

XVIII

Ellie was already ready, and waiting for you to join her, guiding her mare slowly toward the edge of the clearing as you slowly approached, a pained expression on your face which you tried to hide, until you’d edged closer, and had to finally lift your head up to her again. She smiled softly, before waving over at you, and you timidly waved back at her, before jogging the rest of the way over to your black stallion, Gizmo. Christopher was holding the reins of his bridle, evidently waiting impatiently for you to get to the two, and once he finally saw you approaching, he kept the steed steady as you climbed on, hauling your right leg over and your foot into the stirrup, before you pulled the rest of yourself up, and steadied yourself within the saddle, thanking your assisting companion as he offered the reins to you again.

You could feel her gaze flicker over to you again as you winced, trying not to glance over at her, no matter how much you wished you could do so, right now, your heart skipping too many beats at a time as you kept your head low, and gestured with your right hand for her to begin the journey out, if she wished to do so.

“I thought you were going to be doing the leading, today?” She mused, and you rolled your eyes, forgetting yourself, as she subconsciously grinned in your direction, sensing the frustration rolling off of you, though she wasn’t yet sure what the cause of it seemed to be, during this brief moment in time.

“Sorry, I guess I’m just tired after-..” You sighed, before running your right hand over your eyes again, as if it would wake you up some more, somehow. “Whatever; last night was rough, that’s all,” you added a little more dismissively, and she raised her eyebrows, but didn’t have much time else to react, as you squeezed a little Gizmo’s sides, prompting the stallion to snort, before he began to walk toward the entrance of the forest surrounding the area, where the trails usually began, the way they did, here.

She winced, quickly easing her mare into a trot alongside you as the two of you - at first - briefly travelled in silence together, until she managed to bring herself to speak up again, knowing she should, given that the journey would be awkward, if she didn’t manage to do so, but at the same time, she couldn’t help, but find herself longing to hear your voice again, somehow.

“What’re you thinking about?” She inquired, curious, and you tensed up a little, but tried to ease yourself up again quickly, as to not worry the steed below you.

With great reluctance, you turned your head toward her, and she smiled softly again back at you, though she tried to keep it faint as best she could, not wanting to be too optimistic around you, though it was hard for her not to be, though she still couldn’t imagine why, somehow.

“Why would you want to know?” You questioned, not unkindly, and she fell quiet again for a brief moment, trying to find the right words to say again.

“Look - I can see something’s wrong; if you just talk to me, maybe-”

“There’s nothing wrong,” you interjected a little too sharply, and it even hurt you to hear it, especially when you noticed that she appeared a little dejected, now, alongside you, as if it had pierced her much too deeply for it to be a normal reaction, if you really didn’t mean as much to her as you feared you didn’t right now, still. You sighed heavily, and she warily glanced over at you again, wondering if maybe there was something else she could do for you, but she wasn’t sure; it still grew hard for her to read much of you, though she wished she could do so even more, by now, no matter what the situation at hand, here. “I just-.. it’s like I said earlier; I had a rough night, El - that’s all there is to it, now,” you managed, and she frowned, before nodding gravely in response to your half-hearted claim, the way that it was, then.

“Look, if you wanna go back-?” She suggested, and you winced, subconsciously gritting your teeth as you did; you couldn’t fathom the idea of having to turn back so soon, especially when a part of you was still eager to spend more time with her, somehow, without it appearing suspicious for you to want to do so, though you couldn’t imagine why anyone would view it in such a curious light as the others back at the camp were, now, somehow.

“No,” you managed, and she would appear a little taken aback again, though - in a curious way - it relieved her, however, her heart skipping a beat as she smiled down at the reins again, thinking about how nice it would be, if things weren’t so risky the way that they were, now. If things were right with the world again; or - at least - somewhat more peaceful, anyway. She dreamt of many things, but it always seemed like - especially now - they would never come true, no matter how much she wished they could, sometimes, especially now. “I have to show you this place; it - it always helps me, when I need to think about things; it should do the same, for you, and we’ll probably get the bonus of being able to take out the infected, whilst enjoying the sanctity of the area around us,” you insisted, and she appeared a little more at ease again alongside you, grinning a little back at you again as she wondered how she’d never noticed the way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight, before. “Is - Is that okay?” You asked, your voice suddenly - smaller, than it was before.

“Is what okay?” She inquired, appearing a little puzzled; she’d got too distracted by the glimmer in your colourful orbs, to take any notice of your previous statement, the way she had the ones that you’d voiced to her, before, until this brief moment in time, now.

You appeared skeptical alongside her, wondering what she, too, was thinking, but - nonetheless - you decided to answer her, anyway, knowing you shouldn’t think too deeply about it, the way that you had, then.

“Would you-.. still like to go to that site, with me? Y’know, if you’re up for it, and stuff - I just-”

“I’d love to,” she interjected gently, and you faltered as soon as her gaze met your own again, “you know I would - Y/n-”

“Good, that - that’s good,” you managed a little softer, as if you didn’t want her to hear you, then, as you kept your head low, trying to keep breaths even, and a sense of ease about you, but you found it difficult to maintain around her, though you couldn’t understand why, still, feeling safe around her, and as if you enjoyed her company more than perhaps you thought you should, the two of you only still recently acquainted, after all, at this point in time, “thank you; it - it means a lot to me - it really does, I promise.”

“Then I’m glad for it,” she added, in turn, “but we should probably hurry up; it’s getting a bit colder out here already, and I’m not sure, but I think I can hear some signs of undead life nearby.”

“Undead life?” You mused, and she grinned again, before shrugging a little sheepishly, and allowing a brief second for her gaze to fall upon you once more, the way it did, then, her heart beating much too quickly alongside your’s, but it didn’t stop her from buzzing at the feeling, all the same, especially not when you were with her, the way that you still were, now, and hopefully could for at least a little while longer, anyway.

“You know what I mean,” she answered in a vague manner, and you playfully rolled your eyes, before deciding to play dumb, though - of course - you knew what she meant; of course you did, especially when you heard the faint clicking and groans sounding out amongst the creaking of trees and shaking of brambles, nearby the both of you, the way that it was, now.

“Infected?” You took an uncertain sounding guess, and she raised her eyebrows in your direction again, but she didn’t bother to answer you, instead teasingly claiming you to be an idiot, before you protested playfully alongside her, the smile sounding out beneath your words all the while.

Again, you found yourself distracted in the good things that were still living, whilst she, too, began a replay of the dreams in her head, but it wasn’t until you’d both made it to the alternate campsite that she knew for a fact that maybe - just maybe, things could be okay again - for now, anyway.

XIX

You dropped down from your steeds’ saddle, first, admiring the area; it was standing well, regardless of all that had taken place, recently. You couldn’t deny, though, that you missed the way it was, before the events following Outbreak Day had taken place, the way they had, before.

“Ruby’s Inn Campground-?” Ellie read off one of the rotting signs in the area, before she - too - dismounted her mare, and jogged up to you, as your eyes perused the clearing.

“It’s a resting place,” you mused, and she raised her eyebrows over at you, before looking around her as if to check the two of you weren’t followed her; even if the area were as nice as you’d insisted it would be, that didn’t mean it was safe from any more - aggressive - disturbances. “So - what do you think?” You inquired, sounding a little nervous as she perched her rucksack upon a stump sticking out of the ground, bare and worn, weeds growing around its edges as if the wild were taking it over still, abandoned RVs and all.

“It’s - quiet, for sure,” she answered slowly, as if thinking of everything she could merit it for, though she’d seen many places, by now, and couldn’t bring herself to be much affectionate toward them, especially not after Joel had brought her to the Science and History Museum back in Wyoming, a few years ago, now.

“Makes it easy to think about things,” you added delicately, and she couldn’t help, but smile a little half-heartedly down at the ground again, not sure what it was exactly that brought such a reaction upon her, however. Sometimes she wished it would stop; that she could just run away again - maybe it would be better if she did; she could go back to Jackson, try and sort herself out again, but there were so many things telling her she should stay; that things wouldn’t get any better, even if she decided to return the way she had thought of doing so, a brief moment before, now.

“It’s also-.. certainly - well.. peaceful, I guess, but-”

“You don’t like it?” You guessed, trying to hide that it had dejected you a little, to think in such a manner, the way you had done, then.

“Of course I like it,” she contradicted, but it sounded strained, and you knew you shouldn’t have wasted her time, wincing as you gave the clearing an almost apologetic and forlorn look, as if you intended to move back onto the original trail again sooner, rather than later, but she couldn’t let this moment end so fast, catching your right arm within her hand as you tensed up again, your heart pounding too fast again as soon as you felt her skin against your’s. “Hey, I didn’t mean to say that I wanted to go so fast, did I? Let’s stay and have a little look around for a while, shall we?” She suggested, and you appeared a little more at ease, your eyes glinting back at her as you beamed softly in her direction, somehow making it harder for her to breathe as soon as her eyes locked with your own again, somehow, without her feeling lost within herself, again, as well as guilty over Dina; what had come before, between the two of them, in comparison to where she was now, with you, wondering where everything would start; how it would undoubtedly end all over again, in the near future, most likely.

She sighed a little shakily, before clearing her throat awkwardly, and averting her gaze as fast as she possibly could, though it pained her somehow to do so, by now.

“I - I’d love that,” you managed, trying not to allow your voice to tremble, and she expressed relief, then, the guilt that had flooded over her a brief moment ago soon faltering as she beamed sheepishly over at you, before offering you her right hand to hold, which you accepted from her, without hesitation.

You were certain you would have lost control of yourself; your senses, right then and there, before her, though you weren’t sure what you’d do, startling yourself a little as you thought to glance down at her lips, your heart pounding on much too confidently as her eyes grew a little lighter alongside your own, somehow, before she gave your hand a gentle squeeze, and eased you out of your tight consciousness: “where would you like to start, first?”

XX

“They used to host parties, here,” you recalled slowly, “even before the Outbreak got-.. well-.. really bad. I guess they did it to boost morale, sometimes; things felt so low, so slow; time just seemed-.. redundant - it still does; of course it does, with everything still-.. y’know.” You sighed a little exasperatedly, and Ellie wore a thoughtful expression upon her soft facial features, not daring to look over at you again after it had made her feel too much all at once, again, the way it did, a brief moment ago, now. “Anyway, there were some really fun times here,” you added a little more timidly, as if embarrassed at yourself for not stating that generally, before.

It was then she couldn’t resist a faint glance over at you, noticing the pained expression on your face, as if you were still plagued by such memories playing within your head, at a recollection of such a place as this one.

“Not so fun, anymore?” She guessed, and you tensed up a little, prompting her to wince slightly in response to your reaction, as if you’d been struck by a crowbar all of a sudden, an evident and unseen strength to her words that she now wished she could take back faster than she’d even said them, then.

The silence that befell the both of you didn’t last for long. You managed a weak smile over at her as if to console her, only making the achey feeling worse within her, though she couldn’t imagine why; you being in pain seemed to be enough to pain her, by now, even though it had only been for a few days that you’d both known each other, by now.

“You could say that,” you answered truthfully, returning your gaze to the bare sight that lay before the both of you, the way that it did, now, “things-.. just haven’t been the same, since-..”

You sighed heavily again, and she didn’t dare question what was going through your head, right now, knowing it wouldn’t be appropriate - nor would it even be easy - for her to do so, given the way it made her feel, to see you so dejected as you were, a brief moment ago, now. Instead, she decided to think on what the parties might have been like, having never been able to attend one, herself, before.

“Did you dance?” She asked, her voice a little quieter, but nonetheless sheepish and playful, as the two of you continued to walk slowly side-by-side around the wild RVs left behind, by now.

You appeared puzzled, at first, by the question, side-eyeing her slightly for a brief moment as you tried to figure out what she could mean, until you finally decided to give in, not in the presence of enough awake mental capacity to figure it out for yourself, right now, especially not after the night you’d found yourself having, a few hours ago, now.

“Did I what-?” You replied, none the wiser, and she couldn’t help, but playfully roll her eyes in response to your own question, before she teasingly nudged your right arm with her left elbow just to ensure that you knew she didn’t mind your previous state of sheer dumbness and part ignorance, as presented within you, before.

“At the parties you went to,” she clarified, and you then understood completely, your heart sinking a little again as you tried not to let the pain reach your eyes again, no matter how much it wanted to do so, right then and there, Bianca filling your mind and soul again, the way she had, so many times before, now, “did you dance at them?”

“Not much,” you answered vaguely, and she appeared half-bewildered; half-exhilarated by such a response as that one was.

“‘Not much’? Are you kidding me, right now? Y/n-”

“Okay - not a lot, then,” you corrected yourself half-heartedly, as she raised her eyebrows again, but you continued before she could protect anymore than she already had, a brief moment ago, now, “I guess I just-.. I never really cared for dancing as such, okay? I’m not even that good at it, anyway.” A soft smile seemed to play on your lips, but she didn’t need to ask why, before you continued on a little softer than you did, before. “Bianca-.. she-.. tried to teach me, sometimes,” you added, and Ellie’s expression softened again at the way your voice seemed to tremble a little, sounding a lot more strained in will than it ever had, before, in all the times she’d ever heard you speaking, before now, “that’s how I met her. I-..”

The smile collapsed almost as fast as it had come, and her heart sank alongside your own, a pained expression on your face again as she tried to think of the right words to say that could try and bring you back to her, somehow.

“You haven’t danced, since then?” She guessed gently, and you seemed a little frustrated with yourself, smiling sadly back at her, before shaking your head a little faintly as if it were hurting the very core of you to even move, at this point.

“There’s-.. not been much point in trying, anymore, since we-.. yeah,” you murmured, and Ellie knew the feeling, nodding gravely alongside you, before a perhaps risky idea struck her hard in the face, and she suddenly found herself wielding a lot more energy than she ever had, before.

“Then.. why don’t you try and dance again, now-? Maybe it would be easier - who knows? You might even enjoy it more-”

You scoffed, and she tilted her head partially over at you, standing her ground as you shook your head, wondering why she’d even think something like that, right now.

“You seriously think I’d want to do that, again, after everything I’ve told you, today?” You murmured, and she shrugged, unperturbed, before nodding as if she weren’t afraid of what you might say in response to her doing so, right now, your connection to Bianca, and all that playing quite an overbearing prominence, here.

“Yeah,” she answered simply, “why not?”

“El,” you uttered a little exasperatedly again, and she watched you keenly, though still with an expression of solidarity, alongside sympathy; she understood how you felt, losing Bianca the way you had, as well as your little sister, and she then knew - of course she did - how difficult it was to go on with life after such occurrences, but she didn’t want you to lose sight of the things that made life seem more-.. full, sometimes, regardless of the losses you can have, sometimes.

“Look,” she began slowly, her eyes expressing caution, as well as concern, as she held your hands carefully within her own, blocking your way forward as she tried desperately to restore your faith in what was lost, somehow, all whilst she found herself wishing more than anything that she could do the same for herself, after everything that had come down upon her before this moment in time, by now, “I know it’s hard, but-.. you can’t give up on what makes you whole, okay?”

“Ellie-”

She didn’t heed your interjections, eyes full of a new determination you’d never seen flare up within her, before, the way it did, now, eyes still locked confidently and contently with your’s, to the point it got hard for you to breathe in their wake, all over again.

“I didn’t know Bianca,” she began again sharply, but her voice didn’t grow less soft than it was, now, only making it harder for you to not break yourself down, all over again, especially before her, when her eyes were seeking something deeper than what she could determine on the surface of your gaze; she was trying to breach even your soul, perhaps, and sometimes you feared it was working, and much too quickly, at that - perhaps that was what Shalyla and Diana meant, when they’d made the comments they did, earlier, “but I know enough to determine that you both were close, okay? I’m sorry for what happened; I’m sorry I didn’t come and help you guys fight any earlier than I did-”

“What? Ellie, that’s not-”

“But she wouldn’t want you to give up on the little things you both loved to do, the most,” she concluded even softer, and that was when you gave in, faltering as though you knew she was right; Bianca probably hated you right now, for the way you’d been acting, recently - dejectedly; typically broken apart since you’d realised she was just - gone, the day you’d first met Ellie, the way you did. You cursed a little shakily, and she smiled apologetically over at you, as if still afraid that maybe her approach wasn’t as good as she’d thought it might be, a brief moment ago, now. “So, what do you say? Am I right, or-? Am I right?” She inquired, and you hesitated, surveying her a little skeptically, albeit with a somewhat warm gaze, as your heart beat steadily alongside her own again.

“Jesus, Ellie,” you murmured a little timidly, again, as if frustrated, but she somehow knew you better than that; she knew you didn’t mean it in a bad way, just perhaps in a oh-my-god-why-is-she-so-persuasive-way.

At least, she hoped that that was the case here, anyway, considering the situation at hand, here.

“C’mon,” she complained, almost whining, and certainly pouting over at you as you rolled your eyes again, before shrugging in a dumbfounded manner, and questioning your existence as you took a long time - somewhat purposefully, at least, just to get her to react some more, the way that she was now, practically begging for you to give in to her, at this point, but still you wouldn’t give, only making her all the more impatient, as well as frustrated, alongside you, but you weren’t so quick to give in like that, before you spoke up again, wanting to at least know why she was so eager to see you dance again, all of a sudden, the way that she did, now.

“Why? Ellie-”

“Okay; I guess I get why it would sound weird, or pointless, but-.. I’ll put it this way; I want to dance with you; you - you could maybe teach me some things, if you want?” She suggested, and you groaned, evidently finding the idea nothing short of a hassle, at this point in time.

“I don’t need to dance with you, El,” you reminded her a little more matter-of-factly, but she didn’t stand down, only grinning all the more as she watched you with an all-knowing gaze, as if she could see right through every part of you. It was humbling, nonetheless, the way she could see you, like Bianca could, before. Your heart stuttered again, and it was hard enough to hide it, the way you tried to do so, right then and there again. “I’m your bodyguard now, anyway - remember me?” You asked a little more dismissively, and she rolled her eyes, before uttering ‘boring’ under her breath, but the lift of her lips’ curves told you she didn’t mean it - of course she didn’t; not anymore, anyway.

“Sure, but that doesn’t change a thing,” she stated plainly, as you tried to seek an easy way out of this, but - at the same time - part of you wondered if an escape was what you really wanted, especially when she were here with you, the way she was, now, “yes, you’re my bodyguard now, and guess what that means? I expect you to guard me at all times-”

‘Even on the dance floor,’ you both concluded, and you sighed heavily, wondering how you’d even found yourself here, at this point, with her still beaming expectantly over at you, eyes aglow with things you wished you could decipher as easily she seemed to be able to do so, everything a part of you, despite your only recent acquaintance, here, at this point in time.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this, but-” you sighed again, as you awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck using your right hand, what looked like a faint blush invading your cheeks and earlobes as you tried to avoid her gaze again, only to fail miserably as you did, somehow drawn in by every glimmering part of her being, effectively ever since you’d both first met one another, only to gather you enough to give into her completely with a lot more ease, as you grinned stupidly back at her, and couldn’t help the words as they steadily escaped your lips, and much too brightly - “where should we start?”

XXI

You weren’t expecting it to go the way it did; weren’t expecting how she learned as fast as she had to do what you could remember, your heart pounding too fast the whole of the way.

“You’re a natural at this,” you remarked, and she appeared a little embarrassed, as if she were still trying to hide something from you, but you could tell it wasn’t something fatally serious, as her lips curled up at the edges a little into a soft and sweet smile.

You couldn’t think much during that moment; you just noticed the way your heart slipped a beat, especially when your gaze tried hard not to fall upon the smile the way it wished to do so, a brief moment ago, now.

“Yeah, well, you’re clearly an excellent teacher,” she claimed, as the two of you warily kept hold of one another, feeling much too close together, without being able to part any further than you wondered if you should, right now.

You narrowed your eyes a little, even raising your eyebrows in her direction as you tried not to give into her too quickly, all over again, the way you had before.

“Possibly,” you agreed half-heartedly, though you knew you weren’t as good as she was making you out to be; Bianca had often tried to flatter you, as well, even when you accidentally stood upon her toes, at times, “or-” Her easy demeanour seemed to falter again. “You already know how to dance, and this is just an excuse to dance with me - what do you think, El?” You inquired, and she looked speechless for a moment, as if trying to find a way to escape this situation, somehow. “Don’t worry about it; I appreciate it, anyway,” you soothed, and she expressed relief, though she wished it didn’t flatter her as much as you had managed to, like you did, then, a roll of goosebumps prickling along her arms as you twirled her a little, and she warily followed your lead.

“Where did you learn how to do this, anyway?” She pried, and you winced, as if it were your turn to be embarrassed, now, somehow.

“You really like asking questions, don’t you?” You returned, and she appeared taken aback, remembering how Joel had once commented upon her inquisitive nature, a few years ago, now, before he’d taken her away from the fireflies the way he did, then. She still felt guilty for that, sometimes; the way she’d reacted to it, but she still found it difficult to think about how he’d lied to her like that, the first time she’d questioned such a rescue. “El-?” You continued gently, and she winced, realising she’d faltered in her step, before she managed to recompose herself again, and managed a faint apologetic smile over at you somehow.

“Sorry, I just-.. I don’t know what happened, I’m sorry - am I doing it right, now?” She inquired, and you tried not to ponder too much upon what might had crossed her mind the way it did, a brief moment ago, now.

“You’re doing it perfectly,” you reassured her gently, and she expressed relief, evidently glad, though she wished she could try and hold back the vulnerability you managed to pry out of her, “and it’s probably not that interesting, but - to answer your question - I learnt this in a violent assassin cult out in the Alps; it was part of our control regiment.”

Ellie raised her eyebrows, evidently surprised as she tilted her head partially, the glint in your eyes somehow appealing to her as being not entirely a truthful one, right now.

“Seriously?” She replied, and you - in turn - grinned sheepishly over at her, before shrugging your shoulders vaguely, prompting her to roll her eyes playfully, before she gently punched your shoulder, prompting you to giggle barely audible as she shook her head, tilting her head partially over at you as she awaited your true knowledge, genuinely curious to hear more about your own experiences, especially seeing as you seemed to understand her a lot more than some other people she’d met here ever had, before.

“It’s true,” you insisted, not very convincingly, as she snorted, before uttering ‘you dick’ as she had to try and stifle her own rising giggles, in response to your own, alongside her.

“C’mon,” she whined, evidently eager to know, no matter how boring the truth might be, in this case.

“Fine - you caught me,” you gave in as you timidly smiled over at her again, before warily averting your gaze as if you were afraid of allowing a wrong look to show; to grow too obvious, though you feared - at the same time - it wouldn’t make a difference, at this point. Not when you’d both caught one another looking at each other like that, before. “That wasn’t true-.. well, no - it feels like it was close to the truth, anyway, but admitting that my mother forced me into dancing lessons is so dull, isn’t it?” You guessed, and she raised her eyebrows, grinning over at you, in turn, as she hesitantly made to wrap her arms around you, again.

“It’s good enough,” she reassured you, before silence befell the both of you, as your eyes locked with one another, hearts pounding too quickly again.

“El,” you managed slowly, and she appeared nervous again, even as you allowed yourself to return her embrace, the way you did, then.

“You know anymore moves, at all? You are the teacher, remember?” She reminded you, but the smile never left her face all the while, though it seemed a little more weak, this time.

You couldn’t help it, as you giggled softly again; you couldn’t deny that it felt good, being here with someone again, like this, but it didn’t stop the faint ache that eroded you down gradually slowly, over and over again.

“Look, if this - if this is just an excuse to get close to me, I quit,” you remarked, and she raised her eyebrows again, though it amused her to see you a little more flustered than you were, before; the blush that invaded your cheeks again, somehow, after she’d raised her right hand timidly up to your left cheek, now warm with the blood that pulsed just beneath her palm.

“No excuse, don’t worry - besides,” she continued a little more brightly, as if anticipating what it could mean for you both, being able to be this close to one another, by now, “if I want to get close to you-” She inched even closer, and you tensed up even more within her arms. “I could just go somewhere people will shoot at me, and then wait for you to shout at me for doing so,” she speculated, and you winced - in turn - knowing she was right.

“Fair enough - so, what do you want to-?” You both faltered, hearing the click of a gun a few paces away from you, but it was too late to react to it, the bang sounding out before either of you could even open your mouths to speak, or shout, and she didn’t know what to do for a brief moment, time seeming to slow down and blur around her, as soon as she noticed the blood beginning to pour down from your right side.

XXII

Once the gun-shot had rung out, you didn’t know much of anything anymore. You’d felt the bullet; you didn’t need to look down and see the blood slowly beginning to pour out from where it had sharply penetrated you. You remembered Ellie holding you; saying your name, then shouting. But after that everything got-.. hazy.

You imagined you were back in Bianca’s old apartment, warily watching her as she poured you a generous glass of white wine.

“That much?” You remembered saying, and she grinned sheepishly over at you, a mischievous glint forming within her eyes as she offered you the glass, and you keenly accepted it from her, no matter how nervous you truly were, knowing that if you got drunk now, what might you end up doing before her, and how would it impact your relationship with her, as close as it was, now, after everything that had taken place recently, especially with your little sister going missing not too long ago, now, and all.

“What? You scared of having a little fun, now?” She teased, and you winced, before awkwardly shaking your head, as she smiled sweetly over at you, your heart skipping a beat at a time again. “Drink up; you need it - no, you deserve it, especially after-.. y’know,” she cooed gently, before she winced a little herself, and cleared her throat a little regretfully, busying herself with her own portion, now.

You sighed heavily; you didn’t want people to think they should pity you, or Lyla, for what had happened; you knew it was your fault, and being given sympathetic glances as opposed to spiteful ones didn’t exactly make life any better than the way it was, before this moment in time.

“Why did you bring me here?” You asked a little blankly, avoiding her gaze as she dejectedly, as well as warily, glanced back at you, a pained expression residing upon her face again.

“Your mom, she - she asked me if I could-”

“Great - no, fuck this,” you uttered, but she blocked the door a little exasperatedly before you could get up and flee from her again, and you faltered as you lingered timidly before her, your eyes darkening a little as she tried to catch her breath, as if your closeness to one another had knocked the life source out of her chest, somehow, the way it did, then. “B-”

“She wants the best for you; you know that,” Bianca explained gently, “Y/n, look at me-”

“Can you please just-”

“No - look at me, and then maybe I’ll consider letting you leave, okay?” She bargained, and you groaned, before begrudgingly allowing your eyes to lock with her’s, all over again.

You’d never felt so small before; her eyes were whirlpools of green, flecks of brown, and sometimes you wished you could live within them forever, if only she’d let you, and you had the courage to ask her if it wound be possible for you to do so, somehow. She warily lifted her right hand up to your left cheek, and you tried not to shudder, goosebumps swarming your arms; you were glad you’d decided to wear a shirt, that day, rather than one of your old vests that always seemed dirty, no matter how much you tried to clean them, after a few more further scuffles as you seemed to encounter now, almost every day, here.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insisted, and you almost yelped at the way the words rolled over you, but you managed to swallow it back, your face feeling numb, and tongue feeling heavy as tears began to invade your own whirlpools again, somehow.

“Don’t,” you warned softly, your voice briefly trembling, and her heart sank at how strained your voice sounded, as if you were in danger of breaking down again, if she pushed any further than she had, already, but she couldn’t let you go on like this; she hated it, seeing the way it seemed to burden you, every day, since the moment the accident had taken place, or kidnapping - whatever it was that had happened to her, the way it did, before.

“Please,” she begged, and you fell quiet, your eyes warily searching her own as she winced again, and tried to swallow the lump that was beginning to form within her own throat, the way that it was, now. “Nobody could have known what was going to happen that day - you know that, right? Y/n-”

“What did my mom ask you to do?” You asked weakly, though you cursed yourself for it, as she frowned again, before bowing her head a little, and releasing her hands from you again.

“She just-.. asked if I could try and distract you for a little while - that’s all,” she reassured you gently, and you nodded gravely - of course you believed her; you’d believed everything she’d ever told you, before this moment in time.

“Well, I think you’ve done a good enough job of that already, so-”

“No, I haven’t,” she contradicted confidently, and you grunted as she held you back from the door leading back out into the too-long and eternally dark hallway, “look, I said I’d be happy to let you go earlier easily, but I’m not - not until you crack a smile for me, at least. Can you do that, for me?”

You couldn’t deny you tried, but it didn’t exactly do much to fight your corner. Begrudgingly, at least.

“Not like that,” she remarked, evidently frustrated, but it didn’t stop her from smiling timidly over at you, again, though it pained her to do so, whenever it resulted in a pained expression flooding over you, on your part of the warm exchange, “I want a genuine smile, okay? And neither of us are leaving here today, until I get one - understood?”

You sighed, and she grinned from ear to ear again, her eyes glinting as you shuffled awkwardly upon the spot, wishing you could just disappear already, if it meant you could curl up and die somewhere much further away from here.

“B - this isn’t-”

“Am I understood, or not, Y/n?” She pried, and you rolled your eyes again, before begrudgingly deciding to give in again, knowing that maybe you should do so, just to make her happy, if it did end up making her happy, anyway, by the end of the day, long as it felt, right now.

“Yes, boss,” you murmured a little exasperatedly again, “so - what do you wanna do, exactly? Or what did my mom suggest we do here, today?”

“She wants me to teach you some things,” she answered vaguely, her eyes glinting even more as she did, your heart skipping a beat painfully as you couldn’t help, but scoff, as a smile fought to show as she took a sip from her own glass of wine, before she leaned a little apprehensively against the bar behind her, again.

“So, let me get this straight,” you began again slowly, as if trying to keep your demeanour precise, no cracks left on show, anymore, the way they had been, before, in response to her attempted consolidation of your self-determined well-deserved demons, “my mom wants you - my personal bodyguard, and kinda best friend - to teach me some things, that aren’t - I’m assuming - anything to do with killing Infected, or those hunters?”

“That’s right,” she answered a bit too brightly, and you raised your eyebrows even further, somehow.

“So we’re not going to be doing what we’re supposed to be doing, basically? We’re just going to be-.. procrastinating, or-?” You guessed, and she scoffed, before rolling her eyes playfully in your direction, only flustering you even more as you winced, and timidly hid your face from her again, but that didn’t mean she missed how embarrassed and slightly red you had found yourself appearing, in response to her previous reaction, the way you did, then.

“I wouldn’t call it procrastinating,” she mused, as she swirled her wine a little, before gesticulating her head toward your own as if to remind you of its existence, given that it was still standing quite alone on the bedside table, the way it was, now. You grunted again, this time more frustrated at yourself for being so negligent again, as you lifted the glass off of the surface within your left hand, and hesitantly raised it up to your lips. The liquid wasn’t quite sparkly - perhaps it had been sitting for a while, the last time it had been here. You couldn’t help, but appreciate it anyway, the sharpness taking you aback as you even spluttered a little at the taste, but once it had settled, you couldn’t help, but drink more, your eyes brightening a little as soon as it had started to get the better of you, the way it seemed to be doing so, by now. It pleased Bianca, to see you enjoying such pleasantries again; you’d been a lot more - subdued, since what had happened, before; it had hurt her to see it, more than anything ever had, since that moment in time. It was nice - being like this with you again. It had been, since she’d first met you. She smiled to herself a little as she thought about that fateful day; how your eyes glinted as soon as she had spoken to you, once her sister had introduced the two of you, a few years ago, now, after Outbreak day had officially been announced, before. “It’s not procrastinating to keep yourself healthy and happy, especially when it comes down to things like - well, drinking and dancing, I guess,” she hinted, and you faltered, feeling cold all over at that; you wondered if you should just get up and run now, before you embarrassed yourself in front of her even more, somehow.

“Wait-”

Bianca pouted, noticing the worried look currently residing upon your face again, the way it had, earlier, after she’d brought up your mom’s intentions again, the way she had, before.

“C’mon - it’s not like I’m gonna shoot you; it’s just a bit of fun, okay? Don’t get so panicked over it-”

“How am I supposed to do that, when I don’t know how to dance? Like - at all?” You questioned, sounding a lot more breathless than you did before. You also looked like you wanted to be sick, as if you wished to force the words back down where they came from, but it was far too late for that, now - even you knew that, no matter how much such a fact harrowed you down to the bone, especially when presented in front of her, the way that it was, then.

“Wait, what? You don’t know how to dance?” She mused, looking like it was hard to not burst out laughing right now, no matter how much she wished to do so, right then and there, at such a revelation.

You sighed heavily, before bowing your head again, wondering how much mercy she would have on you, right now, if she could have any, at all, knowing that about you, the way that she did, now.

“Don’t look at me like that, okay? I sign your pay check, remember?” You reminded her timidly, avoiding her gaze like the plague, though you could still feel her eyes boring into you, the way that they were, now.

“And you won’t stop, no matter what, will you? I’m the one keeping you safe right now, aren’t I? Anyway, the one thing I can promise you right now, is that I won’t laugh, okay? Just - explain. You’ve been going to those campsite parties with me for years, now, and you’ve never learned how to dance?” She questioned, and you rolled your eyes again, wishing she’d just drop it; you didn’t like to be reminded of things like that, especially when they could hopefully be easily rectified, anyway.

“You’ve never noticed?” You pried, and she winced, before shrugging truthfully, because she genuinely hadn’t, at all; she’d often found herself more immersed within the experience - or, failing that, in you, but that didn’t mean she’d noticed your lack of a dancing spirit. “I guess that’s understandable,” you mused a little worriedly, before trying to inject a little more brightness into your voice again, “we both know that I’m excellent at coming up with excuses for things, anyway - right?”

She appeared a little skeptical, but you didn’t have time to react to her doubtful look, as she sighed exasperatedly, before pushing herself off of the bar, and offering you her now free and softly enticing hands.

“On your feet, then - it’s time for you to learn, if anything,” she decided, as you warily glanced up at her offerings, prompting your heart to pound much too fast against your ribcage again. “C’mon,” she encouraged a little impatiently, but nonetheless amusedly, as you brushed off the fear that tried to shake you, picked up your drink again, and allowed her to help you up off of the edge of her bed once more. She giggled, noticing the way you almost fell forward, as if you were tipsy already, despite still having a relatively half-full glass left. She didn’t know how she’d done it, but she’d almost finished her own glass, already, but she knew she should try and drink it slowly, wanting to keep herself responsibly mindful for her sake, as much as your own.

“So, how - how do we-?” You began, as you tried to recover from a burst of giggles that had awkwardly escaped, as if trying to relieve you of the embarrassment you’d faced, falling upon her like you had, a brief moment ago, now.

“First of all - stop stepping on my feet,” she advised, and you winced, shifting your ground again as you apologetically smiled up at her again, but of course she’d already forgiven you - how couldn’t she, when you’d been the centre of her world for so long, now?

“Yeah, well - you put your feet under mine, B - what did you expect to happen?” You teased her gently, your eyes locking helplessly with her own again, to the point that you couldn’t quite get yourself to look away, anymore, especially when you both were this close, your bodies almost brushing together as one, the way that they were, now.

“I only did that because I had to; you were gonna fall on your face if I didn’t - you realise that, right?” She reminded you, and you appeared a little flustered again, but not just because of her statement; it was the feeling - her hands running up your back a little. It was so hard not to shudder again, you having to try and think of other things just to stay calm, and not break down that easily in front of her, no matter how much you wanted to, during moments like these that you both found yourself sharing, the way that you were, now.

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” she interjected gently, “d’you know what? I’m gonna tell your mom to let me give you dancing lessons; you need them, that much is already clear, right now.”

You rolled your eyes, evidently frustrated by such an observation, but it didn’t stop the smile invading your lips as you held onto her shoulders, your heart beating steadily alongside her’s as long as you were gazing into her eyes, the way that you were, now.

“I believe you,” you admitted whole-heartedly, and she didn’t know what it was about the way you said it that made her eyes want to drop down to your lips again. She could only just hold herself back, focusing her eyes upon your own as she smiled sheepishly over at you again, wondering what she’d done to deserve a warmth like this, especially during times like these.

“You’re so stupid,” she remarked, and you giggled, subconsciously connecting your forehead to her own as you both couldn’t help, but laugh together, chests heaving and falling as you tried to recover again, reminding yourself of the situation; how you needed to keep a clear head, if you wanted to learn how to dance for her, somehow.

“You’re stupider,” you returned, and she scoffed, and you didn’t know how your faces had got any closer than they did, then.

“Oh, really? Well, I think you’re stupidest,” she stated, and suddenly it got hard to breathe, the two of you holding one another even closer, somehow, your clothes brushing against each other a little as you admired one another, the air growing somehow even hotter than it ever had before around the two of you, the way it was, now, “what do you have to say about that?”

You didn’t know what to do; didn’t know how to even think anymore. You tried to catch your breath again, but it had never been so hard to do so, the way it was, then. There were so many things you wished you could tell her, but - all the same - you were terrified. Why would she ever want to try and start something of a new life with you, anyway? Your heart dropped at the thought, and your eyes darkened. Bianca appeared dejected, as soon as you pulled out of your embrace, the way you did then.

“Y/n-?” She began, but you shook your head, slinging your rucksack over your shoulder as her heart began to pound again; head began to spin, at the possibility of her losing you again, somehow. She couldn’t let it happen again, as she caught your arm within her right hand, and you reluctantly stopped in place, forgetting how to breathe all over again.

“B, we can’t-”

“Why? We’re not even doing anything wrong - Y/n, please-”

“I love you, B,” you admitted weakly, and she faltered, her heart skipping a beat again as her grip loosened upon your arm, but you couldn’t bring yourself to rush off again, keeping your head low as she tried to process your words, only to fail several times over; she didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way for her - not in a million years, even, and now that you’d said the words, she didn’t know how to react to them, at first, staring after you tearfully as she tried to catch her breath after you, but it was as if her heart was stopping her from doing so, pounding as fast as it was, right now. “I’ve always-.. but we can’t be like this, because if we do, it’ll just make things worse, okay? And it’s nothing like what it was, before, from what I’ve heard anyway - I just - I want-” You faltered, your voice cracking more regularly, now.

Bianca slowly turned you to face her again, her heart slowing just enough for her to begin to concentrate somehow, as you kept your gaze low, and had never felt so vulnerable, before.

“Then let’s go - away from here - can we?” She asked, and you appeared taken aback again, evidently not expecting such a request from her, after you’d confessed to your feelings for her, assuming she’d hate you if you did, somehow, not that you wanted her to, anyway - of course you didn’t; you just couldn’t hide it anymore, especially after you’d spent so long just - wondering, what it would be like, to be with her, the way you were, now. You could still feel the faint pulse of what felt like electricity running beneath your skin, at her looser grip on your arm. It made everything-.. so much brighter, than it had ever been before, now.

“You’d-.. want to - after-?” You inquired slowly, appearing puzzled as she beamed over at you, before slowly easing your face back up to her’s again, the fingers of her left hand resting delicately beneath your chin, now, only making it all the more harder to think clearly, somehow.

“Of course I would,” she answered truthfully, and you couldn’t help, but grin up at her again, your eyes a lot lighter than they ever had been, before now, “Y/n - I - I’ve been in love with you since-.. since fucking Palmdale - I loved you, even then, I was just too-..” She sighed heavily, and you didn’t know how to explain the relief that flooded over you; how it started with a warmth flooding the depths of your stomach, before it began to swarm your upper body, a small tear leaking down your right cheek as you giggled softly, before leaning forward to delicately press your lips to her own, no matter how much it scared you to do so, before she’d smiled at you like you were her world, as much as she was, and had always been your’s, too.

“Fuck, that - that was-..” You managed, after breathlessly pulling away, though it had been a delicate thing to start with. “B, I-”

You both faltered, hearing something crashing in the hallway outside; it sounded like it was something tinny, like one of the trash cans you’d both passed by, and that’s when you heard the notorious clicking of an invading Clicker staggering by. Bianca rolled her eyes, evidently annoyed that your and her time was being interrupted by the stupidest of things, such as the infected could be, sometimes.

“Assholes,” she remarked, and you sighed heavily, before making to remove your own shiv from its sheath, but she caught your arm before you could do so, prompting you to appear taken aback again as you glanced back at her, so many questions pouring off of you, despite their silent conveyor. “They aren’t coming in here - leave them,” she stated boldly, and you raised your eyebrows again, but you didn’t dare protest against her, knowing that when she was confident, there was no way that that confidence could be knocked down, not even by a herd of incoming clickers flooding the establishment, even if there were that many out there - it didn’t sound like there were more than a couple - not yet, anyway. “Besides, I’ve worked on that door for ages, now; it’s stronger than you think it is - trust me, I’ve tried to break through it myself; it’s not happening,” she boasted, grinning a little again as her chest puffed out a little, as if she were proud of her remodel of a simple defence system.

“I fucking love you,” you stated, before throwing the shiv away, and kissing her just a little more passionately. It would be a lie, if you said you’d both slept at all, that night, but you knew the Resistance wouldn’t be particularly happy with either of you, the bastards its leaders were. You couldn’t deny it was nice, though, as well as quite flustering to think about, again and again, to have a moment with her like that, as Clickers screeched their frustrations outside the room, as if trying to find you both still, but Bianca had been right; you didn’t know what she’d done with that door, but boy did she strengthen it just enough to hold them all out, no matter how hard they bashed and clambered against it, the way they did, then. You loved that girl, and now that you knew she loved you, too, you didn’t think anything could ever take you away from one another, but you guessed you thought wrong, before you found yourself crying and bleeding out within Ellie’s now shaky arms, all over again, the way you had, before.

You guessed you’d just have to live with it; time doesn’t stop for the good moments in life, no matter how hard you fought for it to.

~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed it! Thankfully, it doesn’t seem as if it is breaching the text-block limit this time, so I managed therefore to fit the whole instalment into this post! I look forward to further exploring this idea, and certainly hope that you’re looking forward to the next one, with me! Have a lovely rest of the day, everyone!

As always,

Your ever faithful, H.H. ❤️

[yamujiburo]

✨YAMUJIBURO F.A.Q.✨

Should've made this a while ago! I'm starting to get a lot of the same questions in my inbox nowadays tho and I feel bad for clogging up y'all's timelines with the same questions haha

GENERAL QUESTIONS

Who are you?

I'm Kiana, I'm a queer, Japanese Jamaican woman, and a Director/Storyboard artist at Disney Television Animation.

What are your pronouns

I usually go by she/her but I don't really mind any pronouns~

Where did you go to school?

California College of the Arts (but I dropped out when I was hired at Disney)

How did you get hired at Disney?

My bosses found me on twitter through my Team Rocket fanart. They liked my drawing style and asked if I wanted to take a storyboard test. I did, I passed, I got interviewed and moved to LA two weeks later to start storyboarding.

Is this a repost blog??

No, you might know be better as @kianamaiart. This is just my Pokémon sideblog where I post exclusively (for the most part) Team Rocket and Pokémon art.

What does your username mean?

It's a combination of the main 4 Team Rocket members' Japanese names: Yamato (cassidy), Musashi (jessie), Kojiro (james), Kosaburo (butch)

What program and brush do you use to draw?

Default brush in Storyboard pro

**************************************

GENERAL POKEMON QUESTIONS

Who's your favorite Pokémon?

What are your favorite ships?

Any ship with Jessie. Yamushipping, Rocketshipping and Hanamusashipping are my top three!

Who do you ship Ash with?

I was a big Pokéshipper when I was younger but nowadays don't really feel strongly about any of the ships involving the kid characters. I'm also in the "Ash is aroace" camp.

Do you have any trans headcanons?

You can find em here along with other headcanons! It should be noted that I don't usually marry myself to one hc (unless it's for a specific AU I'm trying to build out) and love seeing various interpretations of a character! Trans woman Jessie, Trans woman James, Trans man James, Genderfluid Jessie, give em to me!

Do you play the games?

I've played all the mainline Pokémon games and very much enjoy them! But I am much more invested in the anime and the characters in the anime.

**************************************

HANAMUSA AU QUESTIONS

Where can I read all the comics in order?

Here! I update anytime I make a new comic and list them in chronological order (since I just draw comics at random points in the timeline as they interest me). This post also already answers some of the frequently asked questions about this AU like: How did Jessie and Delia meet? What are James and Meowth up to? How old are Jessie and Delia? etc.

What does "Hanamusa" mean?

Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.

When does this AU take place?

It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.

What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?

Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.

If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?

Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).

Who do you think Ash’s dad is?

I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.

Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?

That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.

Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?

Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.

You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?

I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!

Who does James end up with in this AU?

No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single

Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU

I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!

What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?

Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.

Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?

I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.

Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon

Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon

Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?

Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.

Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?

Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.

Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?

Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.

Will you ever put this on webtoon?

Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~

[nondelphic]

Hiiii! May I ask for some advice? After a really long time of not writing fan fic, I recently started getting back into it but have been struggling… So I started using a little bit of the chat.ai help me but I feel icky about it but at the same time, I’m constantly struggling with writers block and being burnt out… What should I do?

i'm actually really glad you asked this because i've been preparing a post about using ai responsibly for writing, might just post it here lol:

tldr: this post isn’t about using ai to generate your story for you. it’s about how to utilize ai to enhance your writing process while still keeping your voice and creativity at the forefront.

the rise of ai has stirred up a lot of talk about ethics, originality, and how much tech should really be in our creative space. as writers, our work is highly personal, it's a reflection of our thoughts and experiences. so it’s totally normal to feel icky about bringing ai into the mix.

here's a hot take, though: ai isn’t here to replace your creativity. it doesn’t get the deep, emotional layers that only a human writer can bring. sure, ai can generate text, but it doesn’t really understand what it’s saying. that’s where some of the ethical concerns come in—if we rely too much on ai, we risk losing that personal touch that makes our stories resonate.

on the flip side, when used thoughtfully, ai can actually boost your creative process instead of taking away from it. think of ai as a helpful assistant, it can take care of some of the boring, tedious stuff, giving you more space to focus on what really matters: writing your story, your way. it’s not about letting ai take over, but using it to support and streamline your process.

this is not a post about my experience with ai, but i have to say, that as someone with adhd, ai has been a game-changer for me. it helps me keep track of my ideas, organize my thoughts, and even manage my writing schedule when my brain is all over the place. it's like having an extra set of hands (or, you know, a brain) to help me stay on top of everything, so i can focus more on the actual creative part of writing.

the key is to make sure ai never overshadows your original voice or creative vision. ai should be a tool that helps you bring your ideas to life, not something that writes the story for you. if you’re curious about how to use ai in your writing process while keeping your authenticity intact, here are some tips to do it responsibly:

brainstorming ideas: when you’re stuck on a plot point or character development, use ai to generate prompts or ideas. these can spark new directions for your story, giving you fresh perspectives to explore.

dialogue experimentation: if your dialogue feels flat, try using ai to generate conversation snippets based on your characters. it might not be perfect, but it can give you new ideas for how your characters might interact.

synonym suggestions: tired of using the same word over and over? ai can help you find synonyms or alternative phrases, keeping your writing fresh without losing your voice. i've found this very helpful as an ESL writer!

outline generation: got a rough idea but need a structure? use ai to create a basic outline, then tweak it to fit your vision. it’s a great way to get a head start on organizing your story.

character backstories: use ai to brainstorm character traits, backstories, or names. you can take these ideas and expand on them, adding the depth and personality that only you can create.

quick research assistance: save time by using ai for quick facts or historical details. it lets you focus more on storytelling and less on getting bogged down in research. (disclaimer: never 100% trust what an ai generates, fact check everything). i've found it a great starting point if i have a very niche question for my research.

editing help: use ai for basic grammar and spelling checks to speed up your editing process. just remember, it’s your judgment that will shape the final draft, not the ai’s.

plot analysis: use ai to scan your draft for plot holes or inconsistencies. it can help identify gaps in logic or missing links in your storyline, giving you a clearer idea of where to tighten things up.

tone consistency: ai can help you maintain a consistent tone throughout your story by analyzing your draft and suggesting adjustments where the tone shifts unexpectedly.

pacing adjustments: ai can review the pacing of your story, highlighting sections that may be too slow or too rushed, helping you find the right balance.

character consistency: track your characters' traits, behaviors, and dialogue to ensure they remain consistent throughout the story, preventing out-of-character moments.

theme reinforcement: use ai to analyze how well your themes are being conveyed across the narrative, suggesting areas where you might strengthen or clarify your message.

draft comparison: if you’ve gone through multiple drafts, ai can compare them to highlight what’s changed, what’s been improved, and what might have been lost in the revisions.

to answer your question more personally, i think we can never please everyone, and ai will continue to be developed and get better and better. i understand feeling icky about using ai, and you might get judged for it, but do what you need to do, tbh.

i have found myself in a writing routine where i use most of the advice above in my writing process. i write most of my work myself, but i use ai as a tool to bounce ideas off of, and it's been a life changer. i managed to finish my first novel draft with the help of ai, and it fuelled my creativity to have "someone" (or rather something) to feed my ideas and help them identify what i could do better.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Pocky game w/ various HH characters part 1/3

I want pretzels so bad rn it's not even funny

Characters: charlie, vaggie, angel dust, husk, sir pentious

Notes: read is GN for everyone but vaggie and angel, Angel's reader is male, vaggies reader is fem, bonus hcs of what i think their favorite flavor would be- take it with a grain of salt because admin has only tried the og flavor and the cookies n creme

CWs: edit

CHARLIE

oh she loooooooves stuff like this and shes definitely going to bring it up if you dont bring it up!

very understanding if you tell her you dont want to play the game, she doesnt want to force you- however she is over the moon if you agree

meets you in the middle and gives you a kiss, probably does a little "mwah!" sound to add to the general light heartedness of the activity

excited and she loves sweets so she might eat her portion a little faster than you

likes all the flavors but always finds herself coming back to the original, can never go wrong with a classic

VAGGIE

not much of a sweets person but if she doesnt have anything going on shes likely to do a game or two with you

is aware of the game but has never played it, at least if this is a timeline where she doesnt date charlie because charlie 100% would get her to do it with her

unsure if its supposed to end in a kiss but she does keep that in mind when playing the game- neither works too slow or too fast on her end- she doesnt want to come off as too into it... not that shes not into you of course! she just doesnt want to come off as desperate if that makes sense

does it for you most of the time because she knows it makes you happy and it doesnt bother her

i think she would be an almond crush enjoyer!

ANGEL DUST

it should come as a shock to absolutely no one that hes going to use this as an excuse to try to flirt or tease you; even more if you clearly show some feelings for him or if you two are already in a relationship

sighs.. he would make it a point to nibble on the stick in a way to try to get under your skin in one way or another.. its like when people get freaky with popsicles

game ends with a kiss, hes well aware of it when you take the pocky out and he is READY

comments on how nice it tasted, likely winks, can see him asking to do it again

i feel like he would like the strawberry flavored ones.. though im unsure if thats because of his color palette making me think that or if he would actually be a strawberry enjoyer.. maybe a crunchy strawberry enjoyer

SIR PENTIOUS

has no idea what the game is so youre going to have to explain it to him, he gets way too into it because of what it implies- if you were suspecting he had a crush on you this is kind of a confirmation because theres no other reason he would jump at the oppurtunity

all talk until the game actually starts, he kind of just freezes up or slows his tune a lot... didnt actually expect you to agree, or think about what would happen if the game actually started

barely meets you in the middle due to his nerves, and i can honestly see him pulling away at the last minute

its not like he doesnt WANT to meet you in the middle, its just that its a little overwhelming! and this would technically be his first kiss with you! if its going to happen he wants it to be more special!

dork... but it doesnt help him in growing the nerve to approach you to ask you out

has never heard of pocky so im unsure of what flavor would be his favorite

HUSK

i dont think he would be all that interested, he might think the game is a little dumb actually.. on top of that i dont personally see him as being much of a sweets enjoyer so its more likely for him to turn you down

while derailing from the posts prompt, if you were to substitute the pocky with something thats more up his ally he might be more inclined to give it a try... though im unsure of what you could replace the pocky with and keep the basis of the game intact

actually, he doesnt really partake in games like that- the ones that can lead to something thats typically romantic. its just not his cup of tea

i can see him being a bit of tease, but i dont think this meshes well with his style... might do it to humor you though

does NOT eat much of the pocky, and he prefers the bit with no chocolate- might take one nibble to please you but thats it

if you two are already dating, though, hes going to lean into the kiss

no favorite flavor due to the above mentioned "hes not a sweets guy"

[sunstone-smiles]

One Loud Game of Hide and Seek

Original request: "Hey! I just noticed you are considering writing for tickletober! I was wondering if I could please request some ticklish Scanlan for day 4, prompt "upside-down"? Thank you and good luck!!!"

Author’s note: Happy Day 4 of Tickletober everyone! And we’re celebrating with my first Vox Machina fic! Here’s Day 4: “Hide and Seek” and “Upside Down” from August’s Tickletober List and Nim’s Lovely Tickletober List! I hope you enjoy! (P.S: Happy (belated) Legend of Vox Machina season 3 release day!)

Series: The Legend of Vox Machina

Characters: Scanlan, Vax, Keyleth, Pike

Word count: 1,358

Summary: Scanlan is the first one caught in a game of hide and seek, so Vax gets a mischievous idea to use Scanlan to his team's advantage instead of letting him go so easily. 

---

“Scanlan, where are yooou?”

Vax’s voice sings. There’s footsteps. Quiet breathing. Mostly darkness. A sliver of light seeps below the crack of the kitchen cupboard, the place where Scanlan has squeezed himself into to hide.

The twins of Vox Machina had got into some sibling banter about who’s better at stealthing and who’s better at perceiving. Thus, a friendly competition was proposed. Vex and Vax roped four out of their other five party members into a game of hide and seek to prove their point, splitting them into even teams of three. 

With how things are looking right now though, Scanlan might be regretting that he agreed to play against someone with a solid track record for successfully slinking through shadows without a sound. 

Scanlan waits and listens for a moment. Another pair of footsteps. Then another. All three of them are here. He hears the chatter of Keyleth and Pike trying to communicate with their teammate, Vax, about the whereabouts of Scanlan’s location. 

His source of light is blocked as their shadows approach. He remains silent. After more discussion, their shadows pass and the footsteps continue. If he’s going to make a break for it, now would be the time to do so. 

Scanlan quietly pushes the cupboard open, then peeks behind it. Vax, Keyleth, and Pike have their backs turned. Perfect. He tiptoes out of the cupboard and towards the door. 

Stealth, however, is not on his side today.

“There he is!” Keyleth spots him.

Run.

Scanlan takes off for the doorway. Before he makes it halfway, Keyleth curls up her fist and a vine sprouts from the ceiling. It whips towards Scanlan then wraps around his leg, yanking him up off his feet and dangling him upside down over the ground.

“We got him!” Pike cheers. All three of them approach Scanlan as he sways from the remaining momentum of his trap.

“Okay, okay. You found me,” Scanlan admits defeat. “I’m out. Now will you put me down?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Keyleth raises her hand.

“Hold on there, Kiki.” Vax stops her, a smile on his face. “We don’t know where Grog and my sister are yet. Maybe Scan-man knows where they’re hiding.”

Scanlan crosses his arms from his upside down state. “Well, I don’t. So you can stop searching here because you aren’t going to get any answers from me.” He turns his head to the side, eyes closed, with a stern, determined look on his face. 

…Silence. 

Honestly, not the response he expected.

He caves into his curiosity and lifts open one eye, only to be met with Pike smiling up at him with her own arms crossed together.

“So you do know where they are.” Pike’s smile curves to a smirk.

Damn it, Scanlan. Usually you’re a better liar than this. “Okay, so I might know the general direction of where they went, but I can’t just give you an exact location,” Scanlan changes his story.

“Well, then we should take this opportunity to have some fun, shall we?” Vax rubs his hands together and moves behind Scanlan. Scanlan watches him with a confused gaze, but when Vax gives a quick tweak to his sides that jolts through his form like a tickly thunderwave, the pieces all come crumbling together.

Scanlan cranes his neck to look up at Vax with wide eyes. “Oh no, Vax! Don’t–”

“Too late,” Vax smirks. He presses his fingers into Scanlan’s sides. The gnome releases a screech of laughter as the ticklish shock courses through the entirety of his smaller form. He flaps his arms wildly like a baby bird attempting flight as uproars of giggles spill from Scanlan. 

“Vahahahax!” Scanlan finally clamps his arms down and kicks his legs in the air. “Thihihihis is sohohoho cheheheating!”

Scanlan’s movements cause him to swing, although Vax mostly keeps him in place as his skilled hands in lockpicking maneuver their way into hard to reach spots that easily open the door to more of Scanlan’s squeaks and giggles.

“You’re playing hide and seek against a master of stealth, my friend. The odds were never in your favor to begin with,” Vax smiles and moves his hands down to Scanlan’s upper ribs, causing a high-pitched squeak to come from the gnome, as high as some of his highest notes.

“Ooh, bad spot?” Vax teases.

“Ohohohokay!” Scanlan gives in, “Grohohog and Vehehex are hiding in the gardehehehen!”

“The garden is a pretty big place,” Keyleth places a finger to her chin to think; her mouth curls with a smile. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

“Keyleth? Was that a rare tease I heard from you just now?” Vax says astonished, but with a proud undertone.

“Hehe, sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Cohohome on! Thihihis is getting ridiculous!” Scanlan remarks through his laughter.

“Nah, we’re just getting started,” Pike smiles. She hops over to Vax and Scanlan. “Keyleth, could you lower Scanlan for me, please?”

“You got it,” the Air Ashari places her hand in front of her. Her palm flashes a warm glow for a moment as the vine follows her hand downward. 

With Scanlan now lowered right above Pike’s head, Pike hops up and grabs Scanlan’s wrists from his sides, pulling them over his head (or in his reversed state, below his head) to allow Vax complete access to wiggle his fingers further up his ribs.

Scanlan screams with laughter and paddles his unrestrained leg above him. The smile that usually pairs with his charismatic features has, somehow, grown even more charming when it’s filled with giggly joy.

“Nice thinking, Pike,” Vax compliments.

“Thank you kindly,” Pike bows her head to accept the compliment with a grin.

“Pihihihike!” Scanlan tilts his head back and opens one eye for a second to make contact with a grinning Pike. “I lohohove it that you’re sohoho strong, but nohohot when you use your strength against mehehehe!” He attempts to tug his arms free with no luck against the mighty Pike.

“What is going on in here?” a new voice calls out from the doorway.

Vex, Keyleth, and Pike halt in their tracks. Scanlan releases an encore of residual giggles as he begins to catch his breath. All four of them look over to the doorway to see Percy throwing his arm up to face palm.

“No, scratch that. Do I really want to ask when Scanlan’s involved?” Percy says.

“Percy! We’re playing hide and seek! Do you want to join?” Keyleth asks.

“I thought hide and seek is supposed to be a quiet game. I could hear Scanlan all the way down from my workshop,” he takes a step into the room. “And would this explain why I saw Vex trying to squeeze Grog high up into a tree earlier?”

“Ah ha! So that’s where they are!” Pike exclaims.

“There’s only one tree in the garden big enough to fit Grog,” Vax mentions. “Thanks for the help, de Rolo. Come on! Let’s go!” Vax motions for Pike and Keyleth to start running out of the room with him.

“Hey, hey, hey! You’re not going to leave me hanging here, are you?” Scanlan catches their attention before they leave.

“Oops! Sorry!” Keyleth holds out a hand to flip him upright; the vine grows around his waist like a rope and quickly lowers him, laying him down on the floor. She then runs off with the others, smiling as she disappears behind the door frame with Vax and Pike. 

Scanlan sits up grumbling to himself and rubs his side as leftover tingles from the tickling begin to fade. Percy chuckles under his breath and leaves the room. At first, Scanlan glares in the direction of the empty doorway, knowing his hide and seek team has already lost their chances of winning. However, his expression soon eases into a relaxed smile.

 It’s going to be hilarious when they catch Vex and Grog from their hiding spot. 

Scanlan stands from the floor, straightens his clothes, and dusts himself off.

“If you can’t beat them, join them,” Scanlan says to himself, then runs out of the room to catch up with the rest of his friends.