#should of aimed for the head
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this was supposed to be just a sketch of my wizards new outfit but then I colored it...
#wizard101#wizard101 art#w101#wizzy101#wizard101 oc#texture go brrrr#if ur reading the tags i am pointing to the text in the sword#i am thinking the skeleton bits are her actual bones#like after novus at some point she gets caught up with the spiral powers#and her torso gets blown off#but wizard is immortal now so she gets up#should of aimed for the head#but losing her torso is worth saving dasein so its all good
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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i wna b able to put my legs behind my head again
#but i do hip stretches n stuff n its like 'this what you should aim for' and i can do tht straight away#so if my hips r fine why cant i get my leggies behind my head#i used to do it all the time idk wht changed#i dnt even hav a reason to wna do it i just think itd b a fun thing to b able to do#gna watch tutorials on how to do it#mayb im just too old to do tht now
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okay so. kind of a weird thing. i just finished the dp&w making of, which was reasonably fun but pretty missable, and right as it finished i realized that shawn and ryan ALWAYS used "deadpool" to refer to the character. never his name. i mean maybe once or twice that i forgot but virtually never. they and hugh did say logan and wolverine about 40/60, but honestly that still feels weird to me coming from a fandom context. and, idk. there's a gap there. it feels emblematic of the gap between the people who get to make this kind of movie (cis white men), and the people who don't (us, for the most part). and how what they see as the most important elements of the story and characters are fundamentally out of alignment with what we want. there's a lot of overlap, which is why we're drawn to this stuff in the first place, but it's never going to actually line up. idk it's pretty disheartening but we carry on i suppose.
#deadpool and wolverine#turns out the Slash Fan Experience gets more and more uncomfortable as queerness becomes more and more tantalizingly possible#(but never actually reached)#like in 2000 it was like. well obviously they're not going to have the male hero and his best friend kiss onscreen#obviously they didn't mean to tell that story. but we found it so we can have fun playing with it and making it ours.#but in 2024 it feels more like chasing the carrot tied to your head#deadpool#(YES i know there are lots of movies with queer people in them now. im talking about This Kind of Movie.)#(big budget. engages directly with the cultural mythos. aimed at a large audience. fun and easy to engage with.)#(the stuff that attracts fandoms)#(and the stuff that i tbqh LIKE. i like slick glossy expensive movies with great acting and fun characters)#(that are easy to watch but reward a second viewing)#(and i love characters with a cultural history that by all rights should be public domain at this point)#(like. i fucking despise the MCU but i loved it at first bc it was My Kind Of Thing so exactly)
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oh duazul... woman that you are.... mother that you are.....
#like listen. she raised the walking tornado that is camilla hui guo rou. as far as im concerned thats already a red flag#literally WHAT is going on inside her head i must know#very mindful... very demure..#im not sure telling her daughter's guards to hang back when she recklessly storms off into danger can be chalked up to being 'demure'#and like!!! she tells camilla she's not going to get involved WHILE BEING DIRECTLY INVOLVED !!!#tubeppa straight up says “if i tell my mom she'll rat me out to camilla” zero hesitation zero trust in her mother#meanwhile luzurus is convinced he should sit there and be passive + wait for things to come to him. hm. i wonder where he got that from#and thats not even touching on whatever the fuck kind of relationship she has with halkenburg#her (alleged)subservience to unma also fascinates me#she must be getting *something* out of this deal with unma so what is her aim?#GGRAHHHHH THESE WOMEN#i honestly want to get all the queens in a room and see what their dynamic is#succession war arc#queen duazul#hxh manga spoilers#mangacap#hunter x hunter#hxh#hxh ladies#screeds#q
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working on a lil mimsy moodboard ( ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩) . . !
#i know i should be working on this barou fic rn but also .#need to float around mihawk with hearts over my head#as a treat !!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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in staff meeting. cw suicide
coworker (jocular): this is not a cry for help btw, but how many times can you shoot yourself in the head before you can't hold the gun anymore?
me (completely serious): it depends entirely on what part of your head you hit.
#me stopping myself from saying the exact part of your head you should aim at if you're trying to kill yourself#because that is probably not appropriate information to share in a staff meeting lol#i did learn it in a neuroscience class though#not because i was trying to figure out how to kill myself. but i was like okay thank you putting that tidbit in my back pocket lol#he said he was trying to figure out from like a mystery novel standpoint if the number of gunshots could help in solving the mystery#i just love him going this is NOT a cry for help. [alarming thing that is completely irrelevant to the staff meeting]#guns cw#suicide cw#my posts#f
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watching amadeus. 1. these dudes are gay as hell, 2. I want to give stanzi a gun.
#when she threw that candelabra. she should have followed salieri into his room and aimed for the head.#marina marvels at life
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cw for discussing salary and budgeting
i'm supposed to be getting a job offer later this month to transfer into the company I've been working for this past year. and i know i'm getting the offer and it'll probably be decent since i'm in tech at a big corporate bank, but this will set the baseline for my salary and growth potential for the next couple years and I'm nervous. i got debts to pay off, you know? plus i have a male friend who got in last year with fewer credentials than i do and he's told me how much he makes, and i have another male friend whose level of expertise is similar to mine who should get his offer this week, and seeing how my offer compares to theirs is going to set the standard for my opinion on this company going forward.
idk I'm just yelling my anxieties into the void thanks for listening <3
#yasha at work#the joys of being afab in tech#I've been calculating budgets and scenarios in my head#in any case i should be able to start paying off my loans in earnest#plus I've been living on a. fairly tight budget? don't get me wrong I'm lucky and privileged and I don't need roommates which is fantastic#but every euro has a purpose. and depending on this offer i should gain 300-700 after taxes a month and if i keep an eye on lifestyle creep#i can give myself a little more leeway#i still have like 25k in loans to pay off#cw money#more rambling now: i have calculated three scenarios. lowest possible pay according to the CLA; pipe dream pay and middle of the road pay.#if i aim to put 500 a month into my loans‚ then in the worst case scenario nothing changes from now except i save slightly less#in scenario 2 and 3 i get to go back to vocal training. and in 3 i get more little luxuries and i save more money.#and all of these would be fine i just want to know which it'll be!!!#with me hopefully getting on t in the next 4 to 6 months i want to do vocal training so so so badly i am so scared of not being able to sin#SING lmao
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While we're in the prep phase for the Crusader...
...let's go through the Ideas Archive, explore the stuff that's shelved, canned or otherwise not happening right now. This'll be the new pinned post, so I'll use this as a place to put everything I'm currently working on, and what I might do at some point.
Current:
The Crusader, a mix of Burns Double Six, PRS CE24 and Rickenbacker 4001, combined with influences from Hamer, Gibson and Fender. Note: this build is currently in the wood prep phase (stripping pieces of mahogany and sapele door for use in the guitar body and neck) as of 21/11/2024, and will likely take a year at my current progression rate.
Shelved:
Fender Marauder Build (yes, I still want to do this. The Crusader evolved from this, so it's still on the cards)
Casino Humbucker Mod
G6122 Country Gentleman '62 Style
Crest Replica (NEW!)
Telecaster Bass VI (kit body, custom neck)
Lennon Les Paul Jr. Replica (kitbash)
Höfner Violin Bass from scratch
Canned:
Lerxst 355 Replica
Acoustic Rickenbacker 360/12C63
Telecaster-Shaped Red Special (TSRS)
Plausible:
A non-specific doubleneck.
Resonator acoustic (kit build)
Completed:
Fretless Stratocaster
Cherry XII/Tele-Shaped Rickenbacker (TSR)
So, let's review top to bottom.
The Crusader:
I don't need to explain this much, I've already made a long-ass post about this. As said above, it's a mix of a Burns Double Six, PRS CE24 and Rickenbacker 4001 combined with influences from Hamer, Gibson and Fender.
The design is set in stone, aside from the exaggeration of the upper horn. You'd understand if there was a picture around here of the Burns. In the meantime, I'll get on with describing the others.
Fender Marauder Build:
Not the wackiest idea here, not by a long shot. As previously described, the Marauder is the culmination of Fender's offset guitars, featuring the switching of a Jaguar, the lead-rhythm circuit of a Jazzmaster, parts of the trem system of a Mustang, modified to fit with the pickguard and general aesthetics of a Jag. It even gave the Starcaster, the only semi-hollow by my reckoning that Fender still produces, it's headstock, something Fender afficionados call the "running shoe", at least, that's what my aunt calls it. Considering the contour gets filled in by paint, it's not hard to see her point.
The issue with doing this one is that barely anyone does Marauder vibrato plates. And to do this from scratch? Yeah, I need to find someone who would do the specific metal pieces I'd need, that being the Jag-style metal plate for the lead-rhythm circuit, the switch plate for the pickup switches, the extra long control plate, and that Marauder vibrato plate.
Yeah, if I ever find somewhere that does metal parts out of aluminium or something, I'm gonna get them to do the metal parts of this. Next item on the list!
Casino Humbucker Mod:
This one should be self-explanatory - take an Epiphone Casino, stick some P90-sized humbuckers in there. The only caveat is that they have to be hidden and mounted via dogear P90 covers, which isn't too much of an ask; this guy in Manchester does custom pickups, even hand-winds them. Certainly sounds appealing, may go for those. Next one!
G6122 Country Gentleman:
Yeah, uh... this one's shelved with good reason.
For context, the G6122, more commonly known as the Country Gentleman, is one of Gretsch's most famous guitar models, up there with the Duo-Jet, the Tennessean (now Tennessee Rose) and the one that Malcolm Young gutted and modded for his purposes as the rhythm guitarist of AC/DC. Gretsch list it as the "Jet" but I have no clue if that's a different model to the Duo-Jet or it's a variation, or whatever.
My aim with this would be to make as accurate a recreation of the Country Gent as I could with the documentation and information present on the internet. That means making it with 3-ply maple veneer top, back and sides, utilisng the thumbnail inlays on an ebony fingerboard, slotted for 24.6" (24.75" if you measure from the middle of the nut), with the same style of tuner, the little plaque on the headstock, the vinyl/leather pad on the back of the body covering a backplate access hatch, and all around trying to recreate this mad thing.
The only downside is the cost, because I'd need to source TV Jones Filter'Trons (not hard), maple veneer (harder), Grover Imperials or lookalikes (very hard!), and figure out how to make a veneer press, and how to shape the slightly arched top and back in a 3-ply veneer, not to mention the Bigsby, all the spare parts, the flip-up foam mutes that Jimmie Webster came up with (and also patented).
In short, the entire project is shelved. For the foreseeable future, until I can source all this stuff myself. Onto the next one!
Crest Replica:
This is a new one, inspired by an admittedly newfound appreciation for the Gibson Crest.
...oh right, I should explain what that is.
The Gibson Crest, as a name, refers to 2 different models, respectively produced around the late 1950s to early 1960s and between 1969 and 1972, with a one-off model of the latter style produced in 1983 for that year's Winter NAMM show. Said model is in the possession of guitar collector and YouTuber Trogly, who runs the eponymous Trogly's Guitar Show on YouTube. At first, I thought he was a bit of a knob, or at least a bit naïve, but as it turns out, his show's a good way to pass the time, and satiates the GAS (gear acquisition syndrome) that guitarists seem to get pretty damn often (as far as I know).
The former is estimated to have been produced a total of no more than six times, each custom orders put in by Gibson salesman-clinician and budding guitarist, Andy Nelson. Due to the nature of being entirely custom orders, no one knows the exact specs as they would obviously vary between examples as each guitarist would want something unique.
The body shape is assumed to be reminiscent of a similar model that Gibson were producing around this time: the L-5CT, that being a jazz archtop around the thickness of a Gibson Byrdland, but with a Venetian cutaway, a singular humbucker, a toggle switch next to the cutaway on "deluxe" models (models with 2 pickups as stock) and a trapeze tailpiece paired with a "floating" or freely moveable bridge.
One example of the original Crest, however, had a thinline single-cutaway body with a Florentine cutaway, as opposed to the Venetian cutaway of the L-5CT. It featured a carved spruce top, maple back and sides, with a 7-ply bound top, and a 3-ply bound back, as well as a pickguard made not of plastic, but of alternating dark and light plies of maple.
Now, that's interesting, because (and this is a personal side tangent because this guitar is so very unknown because of Google's overuse of SEO and keywords) the only other guitar Gibson produced with a wooden pickguard that I can think of is the Gibson The Les Paul, produced between 1976 and 1980, and that was only because the way Norlin-era Gison constructed these things, everything was either wooden or metal, with plastic being used as little and as sparingly as possible. The switch tip was rosewood, the binding for the body was rosewood, the veneer on the headstock was rosewood as opposed to holly, the knobs were rosewood, the pickup rings were rosewood. About the only thing I can find that wasn't wooden or metal is the inlays, which are actual abalone, and the binding for the headstock, which appears to be plastic, though this might not be the case.
Point is, the guitar was designed with one main principle in mind: "Can it be rosewood? Yes? Make it rosewood." That's why they now go for around £35k and rarely ever sell.
But anyway back to the Nelson Crest. Yes, that's what I'm calling it, it's better than calling it Crest 1 or Crest Custom. The example I'm drawing from here had bound f-holes, was stained cherry red like most of the ES models around the time, and had an HS pickup layout, with the usual number of volume and tone controls, and a toggle switch in the usual mounting place for an ES model guitar, that being near the treble-side f-hole.
According to the source I'm getting all this from (an article on the Gruhn's Guitars website), it also had a Switchmaster tone switch and was wired for stereo output. The floating bridge, as it was an archtop, was mounted on a rosewood "foot" which was inlaid with mother-of-pearl decorations. The bridge itself, meanwhile, was your bog standard late '50s, early '60s Gibson ABR-1 without retaining wire for the saddles, while the tailpiece has the diamond ornamentation seen on a Casino/ES-330 while also incorporating a shield and coat-of-arms motif.
This motif is continued on the absolutely gigantic headstock, which had individual Grover Imperial tuners, and an inlay featuring a coat of arms with three Moorish crescents on the shield. The fretboard is given the top-level treatment of the era, as is to be expected of a custom build, with 3-ply binding all-around, and Super 400 inlays up to the 17th fret, unsurprising for an archtop. The truss rod cover, meanwhile, is a sort of merger between the typical shape for a Gibson, and the art deco movement which was starting up in the early '60s, with it being a trapezoid interpretation of the standard Gibson bell shape.
This is one of the few images I can find of the original style of Crest, in all its resplendent late 1950s glory:
As you can see, it's basically everything I mentioned above, down to the cherry red stain.
So, that's the Nelson Crest, in all of its custom and stupidly insane glory. It'd be an interesting challenge to replicate that thing, but that's not the one I want to replicate, not by a long shot.
The Crest that I do want to replicate, however, is more reminiscent of a short-neck ES-330 or, to be more conforming to normality here, the Epiphone Casino. This has its own subsets, referred to as Crest Gold or Crest Silver, for the style of the hardware, those being either gold or "brushed silver". Assuming I was mad enough to build this, I would have to either source vintage-accurate parts or get someone to make them custom.
As you can probably guess, neither sound appealing! However, ignoring that, let's get down to business. What is the Gibson Crest, in this latter format?
The Gibson Crest, in the 1969-72 styling, is a double-cutaway ES-style guitar, as you can probably guess. Now, a double-cut ES-style isn't surprising, both CMI and Norlin loved making those. The surprise comes from the features, starting with the short neck, with the join at the 15th fret. Now, normally, that's weird for an ES-style, they all have long necks, with a meeting with the body at the 19th fret. Why does this one have such a short neck?
Well, it's because it's a hollow-bodied guitar, like the ES-330 or Casino. Then again, that is no excuse, considering the ES-330 and Casino both had long necks at this time, even if the Casino returned to the short neck, dragging the 330 along with it whether it liked it or not (kinda miffed about that, I like upper fret access, taking it away on an electric guitar like the Casino is just annoying).
But anyway, the Crest has this short neck, and that's where the similarities to most ES models end. The toggle switch is placed where the first iteration of the 347 would place the coil-split switch, that being the lower horn, and that's about it for known similarities, with the other features being more reminiscent of the original Nelson Crest rather than an ES-330 or similar guitar from Gibson/Norlin.
Let's start with the pickups, which are mini-humbuckers, most certainly an interesting choice; apparently, the reason they chose P90s as the pickups for the 330 and Casino is because it was a "budget" model, and not because they were fucking cowards. That last bit's not important, though, so we can come back to it at a different time.
As with the Nelson Crest, the Crest Gold and Silver have a floating bridge akin to an archtop, though I cannot for the life of me remember if they're an ABR-1 like the original, or a pre-compensated bridge. It doesn't much matter either way, because the fact of the matter is that this guitar has some nice details to it. A 7-ply bound top, with a 3-ply bound back separated by a decorative strip, and a large heel cap which has a strap button screwed into it.
The electronics are the interesting thing. As noted above, the toggle switch was placed in the location where an ES-347's coil-split switch went, which may even be where they got the idea for that, but as is also noted above, the thing has 2 mini-humbuckers with individual volume and tone controls, and treble-side adjustment screws that go through the pickguard.
None of this is nearly as impactful as what the thing was made of, though, because I have been keeping that bit entirely shtum for surprise factor. Y'see, the Crest was made almost exclusively out of Brazilian rosewood veneer, which, for a time, was entirely phased out of Gibson as a wood option, before even becoming a protected wood by the Washington Convention. Trade in it is restricted, even now, and that means it is incredibly hard to get hold of it, even in veneer form.
Does this mean I am shit out of luck? Well, if I wanted to recreate the thing using the exact same wood, yes. If, however, I wanted to recreate the guitar with just any species in the family Dalbergia, rather than specifically Dalbergia nigra (note: that's the scientific name for Brazilian rosewood), I am not, in fact, shit out of luck, as most other species of rosewood (any wood in the family Dalbergia) is not restricted, and has not been under restriction for almost 5 years.
Here's a photo from Gary's Classic Guitars in case you were having difficulty visualising this thing:
I'll be including images like these for projects that are either replicas, or I feel need the image in some way or another.
So, the rosewood veneer isn't a problem. Why is it still a shelved project, then? Well, the fact of the matter is that we live in a capitalist society. Things cost money, both for the item itself and the labour required to produce it. In short, wood is expensive, and I don't have the money yet. You may notice that "too expensive" is a running theme, even in cases where half of the expense is the guitar itself.
To avoid getting depressing, let's move on (finally)!
Tele Bass VI:
So, you may be wondering, "why's this one shelved?"
The thing is, it wasn't intentionally shelved. It's just that I can't really do anything with it without finishing the Crusader first. I need fret wire, wood for the neck, a nut, and a truss rod. Not that many things, but it's also what I need for the Crusader, and in the case of that, I at least have the wood for the neck, and a nut, but that still leaves me without a truss rod and fret wire (which I also need for my acoustic because it's got fret sprout, but that's neither here nor there).
I was intending a maple neck for it, anyway, and I need maple for the fretboard of the Crusader. Maybe I'll be able to sort that at some point. Moving on!
Lennon Les Paul Jr.:
This one's hard to call "shelved" seeing as I've done jack shit with it for 3 months at this point. Do I want to do more with it? Yes, absolutely. It's just finding the werewithall to actually go do more with it. Part of it's been the stress of organising my college stuff, but part of it's also been laziness and just not being able to decide if I want to do it or not.
I'm sure you don't want me to bore you with this one, and you saw a photo of a replica on the previous pinned post, so I'll move on.
Höfner 500/1 Violin Bass Replica:
This one is very much a doozy, but it's at least sensible.
Höfner's been going for over 100 years, that's an accepted fact, something that makes sense to everyone. Their "peak" of iconicity, however, came in the form of Sir James Paul McCartney, who has used Höfner's basses since 1961. Now, since then, they've done plenty of reissues of his (two) different basses, the 1961 with its close pickups, and the 1963 with the wide, separated pickups.
So which one would I go for? That is a good question, because it's really not what I should be asking. What I should be asking in its stead is "do I want to learn Actual Violin Lutherie to make this thing", because the whole "Violin Bass" is not just a selling point, it actually is constructed like a violin. It's a chambered hollow body, like the Country Gent, but it's the size of a violin, with the construction to match, including the use of flame maple (or, to use its more apt name, fiddleback maple) for the back and sides. The top, meanwhile, is solid carved spruce.
Don't believe me about the body size? Look at this sub-model Hofner do, based on the one you can see in Get Back:
As you can see, the body is tiny in comparison to the length of the neck, especially when you compare it to an actual violin:
Look at the proportions on this, then look at the 500/1. Doesn't the neck seem so ridiculously long now? Anyway, that's gonna take some going at, and thus it's shelved for when I feel confident enough to actually do it, or at least to take a partial stab at it.
Now then, we've seen the ideas that I might get round to but aren't being done now for one reason or another. Let's look at the ones that won't be done at all, for one reason or another.
Lerxst 355 Replica:
To the average reader, that name's going to look like gibberish. To be honest, I don't blame you, the way it's pronounced feels like you're speaking gibberish as well. "Lurks-st". It sounds better if you try and put on a Canadian accent. Not full tilt Canadian, with all the "eh"-ing and being super polite, just a hint of Toronto.
Anyway, what's Lerxst? Or, more accurately, who is Lerxst? Lerxst is the nickname of Aleksandar Živojinović, a man known professionally as Alex Lifeson. He was the guitarist for Rush for as long as Rush had existed, until their semi-functional retirement after the death of their drummer Neil Peart. The remaining two members, that being Alex and the bassist Geddy, have performed together since, including at the Taylor Hawkins tribute concert and at the 25th anniversary concert for South Park.
Now, Lerxst has used many a guitar over the past 50 years, from that ES-335 he used in the beginning, to the large amount of PRSes he used between 1990 and 2010. His most famous, however, is the one this one is talking about: a 1977 ES-355 built by Norlin-era Gibson. It has T-Top humbuckers (named as such due to the bobbins having a slightly raised part in the shape of a T), 22 frets on a voluted neck, a 7-ply bound top (you saw me refer to this in the Crest section; 7-ply bound top doesn't mean the top is 7 plies of veneer thick, it means the binding is 7 plies thick, and is bound around a 3-ply top of maple-poplar-maple) with a 3-ply bound back, a Maestro vibrola unit, an individual set of volume and tone controls per pickup, a simple 3-way toggle, and the key part - a varitone switch, with accompanying bypass mini-toggle for the "raw" tone unmodified by the varitone.
The output jack's also mounted to the top, but considering it's an ES model, I wouldn't think that too revolutionary. So, what's a Maestro vibrola unit when it's at home? For that, we need to explain vibrato units overall.
The history starts with Clayton "Doc" Kauffman, who devised the first ever patented vibrato system in the 1930s, fittingly named the Kauffman vibrola. This worked quite differently to vibratos that we know now, as the action of changing the pitch was much more subtle, and was done through moving the arm laterally, instead of pressing the arm down to the body. The sound was meant to mimic a slide guitar (as that's where Rickenbacker's guitars originally started), but there was an ever-so tiny but incredibly crucial detail: the tuning stability was terrible. Guitarists such as John Lennon decided to replace the Kauffman units on guitars they were installed on with other models, such as the Bigsby vibrola, the second patented vibrato unit, and the first to see widespread commercial success.
The Bigsby works in a much more conventional way, using the standard we know now: push down to lower pitch, release to return to normal. Supposedly, it has terrible stability in and of itself, but that is from players who ended up being like Floyd D. Rose, who overused the vibrato of the Bigsby, requiring that they retune. The Bigsby wasn't intended for that; instead, it was only intended to provide a slight "warble" effect to playing, what some would term a "shimmering" effect.
This, in effect, is what Gibson's vibratos were meant to provide, starting in 1961 with the Sideways vibrola. I have an opinion on these: they suck, both in function and form. They copy the function of the Kauffman nearly wholesale, and the large folded up arm in direct contact with the nitrocellulose finish(!), well. Yeah, no, not for me. The Maestro, however, looks and behaves so much better. It functions like a Bigsby would, excepting that it doesn't copy the mechanism wholesale like the Sideways does with the Kauffman.
To explain this, let's go on a small side tangent about a Bigsby vs. a Maestro vibrola, because I assure you, this is actually necessary to the guitar.
The Bigsby works by loosening tension using the leverage of the tremolo arm to cause a deepening of pitch. It's kept in place and returned to normal pitch by a spring which is compressed in the action of using the vibrato unit. The Maestro, however, uses direct leverage on a bent piece of metal to cause the same loosening of tension and lowering of pitch.
This means that the Maestro, while more primitive, is easier to work with when restringing due to the fact that the strings are threaded into the tailpiece, which is then bent, changing the angle and distance between the tuners and the ball-end of the string, thus affecting the tension. The metal returning to its standard shape (because the force required to permanently change its shape has not been applied) is what returns the guitar to standard and proper tension (as long as it's been set up correctly).
The Bigsby, meanwhile, has a specific way of threading the string through the unit before sending it down the neck to the tuner and the nut. When restringing a Bigsby, there is a massive rigamarole if you don't have a Vibramate spoiler installed. You have to thread the string down from the bridge, under the tensioning bar, then up over the string bar, around it, and slot the ball-end on the tiny little post on the underside, so it can function correctly when the arm is depressed. I honestly wish I was joking about this. I have restrung a Bigsby once, and once was all the experience I needed. Never again. I heavily advocate for people to damn well use a Vibramate spoiler on their units, even if it's just because of a personal gripe.
Back to the point where we were, about... 8 or 9 paragraphs ago, the 355 generally came stock with a Maestro vibrola in 1977, so it's no surprise that Lerxst got it on his. It's even featured on the reissues from 2008:
These are the same reissues that have a Fucked Up volute on the neck that's approximately halfway between the nut and the first fret, as opposed to in line with the nut. If I were to recreate this, I'd at least fix that.
So, it all seems possible, right? Then why is the build canned? Generally, it's the fact of the varitone, specifically the chokes. How, the literal fuck, do those things work. If I ever figure how they work, then maybe this will move from the can to the shelf. But right now? Canned. Completely and utterly.
Next, please!
Acoustic Rickenbacker 360/12c63:
This requires much less in the way of explaining. The Rickenbacker 360 is a famous guitar by most stretches of the imagination, soldiered on by its incarnations as the 360/12, used by George Harrison, the 370/12 used by Roger McGuinn, and the 330/12, used by innumerable amounts of famous guitarists like Peter Buck, Johnny Marr, Pete Townshend and The Edge.
But y'see, those are electric guitars. They've got magnetic pickups and all sorts of gubbins in there. My idea with this was to see if you could just... get rid of all that, construct a 360/12 in the double-bound style without that central block and all the electronics, and be left with an acoustic Ricky 12, complete with the compacted headstock and a piezo if I felt like it.
Knowing what I do about how Rickenbacker's shit is made, though, that would require making the body in the form of back, then sides, glued with bracing and then the top, with two sound holes. I'd then have to find somewhere to fit a pre-amp, and make sure that it's the usual thickness before then setting the neck in, which itself would be a 5-piece construction of maple with walnut center stripe and headstock wings, adding the truss rod(s) and the fretboard, before finally assembling the metal bits onto it.
Doesn't sound too hard, sure, but if you look at this example of what the Rickenbacker 360/12C63 looks like...
Yes, that is the entire thickness of the body. It's approximately an inch thick and not all that acoustically resonant. It'd be good as an experiment, but considering I'm debating over getting a standard acoustic 12 at some point, it's canned for that reason. Onto the last canned build, and the last build that's overall a hypothetical.
Telecaster-Shaped Red Special (TSRS):
I laid this whole thing out in a Notepad file back in May or June, as we were finishing up the Cherry XII, as a proposal of "maybe this can be the next build," but I scrapped it a month or so later because I fell into a trap I've fallen into so often it might as well be my home: I wanted to recreate a specific thing, without remembering the way that guitar is constructed, and really, what that guitar is built out of.
You see, the Red Special, built between 1963 and 1964 by Brian May and his father Harold, is a very interesting case of guitar design, in that it was designed to feedback in an appealing way. The internal cavities were actually carved out in a very specific way in order to allow for this, and most copies of the thing do the feedback, but struggle to do it exactly like his. He also has his own brand of guitars mainly made up of official replicas fitted with either a standard Strat-style trem system, that being the BMG Special, or the more accurate design mimicking the original's trem arm made of a knitting needle and a bicycle saddlebag holder.
Now, having only a Telecaster body, I couldn't recreate most of this. I mean, where am I going to put all this stuff? And the neck couldn't be slotted for 24" scale length. It just wouldn't have worked. 25", like the Harley Benton copy, maybe, but then I'd have to modify the body to allow for a 25" scale, and then rout out chambers for controls, the cavity, and the trem system's springs.
Looking back on it, I think I had a grand idea, but had bitten way too much off to just go and do it. If I ever do get it in my head to recreate the Red Special, even without a treble boost circuit or a treble boost pedal, I think I'm not going to try and start from a jump-off point, and just go at it from scratch.
Now then, we've gone through those that've been canned, let's look at the ones that aren't shelved or canned, but aren't currently in play. I denoted them as plausible above, but I might go at them at a slower rate than the Shelved builds.
Non-Specific Doubleneck:
When I say "non-specific" doubleneck, I don't mean "bland-name EDS-1275" like a Chibson or a Gear4Music or Harley Benton or anything like that.
For one, the EDS-1275 isn't the only doubleneck out there, nor is it the only doubleneck Gibson ever made. Rickenbacker made a 12/6 doubleneck 360, fittingly named the 362, as well as the 4080 doubleneck which was a bass on top and your option of a 480/6 or 480/12 on the bottom. That latter one was most famously used by Geddy Lee on Xanadu, as well as the former on A Passage to Bangkok (a song about smoking weed, if you didn't know).
Here's him with the former, in a surprising tuxedo (white with black plastics) finish:
And here's him using a Fireglo 4080/12 back in 2015 for the purpose of playing Xanadu:
Anyway, that's a Rickenbacker doubleneck, but they're not the only ones to do this stuff. Fender also make doublenecks. Well, "make" is a strong term. This is the only one I know about:
This is the craziest doubleneck I've ever seen. It's a basic 12/6, but actually No It's Not. You've got an Electric XII on top, which is the only "designed to be 12 string" guitar Fender made pre-CBS, and the Marauder on the bottom, with the vibrato merged into the pickguard, and the 5 pickup switches and the kill switch and everything that makes it the Marauder.
If I ever decide "okay, let's make a doubleneck," and then actually go through with it, I think I'm gonna take some design cues from all of these. I'll probably also chamber it so it's not uncomfortable to play for long periods of time, and just hide the chambering under the pickguards because that's a thing that could work.
Now, the other plausible idea.
Resonator Acoustic (kit build):
You know how I said kit builds were out of the question? Yeah, I didn't believe me either.
Resonators are a really cool relic of the pre-amplification era. Like, they're the step between electric guitars with magnetic pickups, and the acoustic guitars we all know, minus the piezoelectric undersaddle pickup. They work by passing the strings over a bridge mounted to a resonator cone, and when a string is plucked, strummed or otherwise makes a sound, the cone takes the vibrations and amplifies them entirely acoustically. They were originally made by a couple companies before Rickenbacker came along and invented the horseshoe pcikup and, by extension, the electric guitar.
Those companies were National String Instrument Corporation, and Dobro Manufacturing Company. The former was founded in 1927 by George Beauchamp (anyone who knows the history of Rickenbacker will know that name), and John Dopyera, a Slovak immigrant who came to America with his brothers and father in 1908, sensing that war would soon break out in Europe.
Smart move, fellas!
Anyway, Dopyera and his brothers, Rudy and Emil, soon left National to form their own comapny, Dobro. Dobro is a name with double meaning, in this case - while it's an abbreviation of Dopyera Brothers, it's also the word for "good" in a lot of Slavic languages, leading to the slogan "Dobro means good in any language!"
Due to Beauchamp's work with Rickenbacker, though, resonators fell off the radar in terms of popularity. After all, they'd figured out a form of amplification that didn't use lots of metal, so resonators ended up failing as a product. Or at least, they did for a while. Nowadays, you can find many brands producing resonators, usually for the specific tone resonators provide: rich and metallic. They're seen nowadays as bluegrass and country music instruments, but you can see people like Mark Knopfler using them for songs as well.
Now, this isn't referring to a specific kit build. I found one that's kinda an ES-style thing, with 21 frets, so that's probably the one I'd go for, not least because I like upper fret access, but it's all dependent on if I still want to build a resonator acoustic after the current build, or if I'd want to do something else entirely. It's an odd thing, my mind.
So, what now? The completed section? Eh, not exactly.
I would do a small piece on the Fretless and the Cherry XII each, I really would - God alone knows I love rambling about these builds enough, this post is testament to that on its own - but I don't need to. I made a full post about the creation of the Fretless, and made multiple posts in the course of building the Cherry XII, starting back in January and leading up to June.
But other than that? That's all there is to this post. There's nothing more I can really do in terms of explaining my ideas. I may have more ideas in between now and whenever I revisit this concept, I may reshuffle things, shelve one idea or can another. But as for everything else? It's in flux, constantly uncertain unitl we reach and observe it. I can't really say what I'll want to build after the Crusader, because I haven't finished the Crusader. Hell, I've barely started it.
Hope you enjoyed reading this. If something needs explaining further for one reason or another, tell me, and I'll try and explain it to the best of my ability.
#guitar building#lutherie#fender guitars#rickenbacker#gibson guitars#takosader's ramblings - this time into the double digits!!!#holy shit we did it#10th in the series baybeeeeeeee#anyway there's swearing in here...#somewhere i think#too many things to put in the tags so i'll hit the highlights and do the small postscripts#one - yes i'm aware that the chokes in a varitone system are capacitors and inductors#the issue's not the construction it's the values and the tones; what's the point in making a varitone if it doesn't function like it should#two - i know trogly's crest is a different variation on a normal crest#i watched his video while writing that section and clocked it because of the full hbs and the longer neck#otherwise it's exactly the same as the late '60s crest#three - if some of these feel like they came out of left field it's likely because they did#a lot of the ideas were listed on day 1 of writing this but others got added while i was writing mainly because i wanted this to be complet#comprehensiveness was another aim. yeah - as if i'll ever wring comprehensive and understandable documentation out of my head#wow this is a long post#wasn't expecting the tags to be so big either#guitar#hofner doesn't have a tag on here#but i'll put it down here for completeness
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A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)
I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks
#history media#this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts#it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense#listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because#of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid#literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign#Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand#the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard#do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies'#Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them#and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid#buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with#him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty#it was not an external threat against it.#'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?)#henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter)#like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened#i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england#and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless#the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs.#the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age#ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head#also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family#if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻♀️#anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective#i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation'#anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye.#(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)
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Do farmer ancients have to cut the worm grass?
Is it any good to eat or is it just a weed? I imagine it could make a good garnish, I always imagine worm grass as homicidal green onion.
Also, what kinda tools/weapons do they use? Do they use guns to fight off predators or do they rely on spears and such, maybe electric spears as cattle prods to fend off the deer who shall not be named?
most likely they have to, yeah! can't have that shit growing tall and deathly dangerous to Them too. i can imagine that worm grass is often around the actual plots with the crops to keep em safe from smaller herbivors
you people and askin me what these fictional people stick into their mouths i swear sdjgklkcmsldmlk honestly anything living can be food if u prepare it well, so sure, yeah, worm grass is edible under Certain Circumstances. i can't help but think of it as some fucked up chewy gummy worm.....
usual farm tools are present! they have spade forks, axes (trees real, wood usually used for some building or woodcutting art, Sparrows' mask is made of wood!), shovels (Sparrows' favorite weapon of choice), scythes n so on
the weaponry is more sophisticated than what we get in game, absolutely. though electric spears as cattle prod i Do Really Like, you're smart
chemical warfare (pesticide can get wild) and guns are often utilized. each family has at least one designated expert at one of these and for Sparrows' family it's the elder twin brothers, Breeze and Inferno. took interest in the respective offensive crafts as kids and nerded about it hard. one of their duties is passing some skills on the other kids in the family- Sparrows is a pretty solid shot thanks to Inferno's endless enthusiasm for bullets in chitin covered heads
in the first Beppi noodle they are actually gettin ready to drop a lil pesticide dynamite stick shaped thing into a thingy- prolly their version of a silo
i've a Scenario
updated thought-thru version: all bugs in the game are things that naturally occur in the world (+ also lizards. to me.), so beastly centipedes were a thing even back then n maybe even more common. the red centipede thing happened when Sparrows was 18 and Not Yet in the respawn cycle. she likes putting her life in danger despite not wanting to die, apparently
it was scuttling through the streets, so you can imagine how much of an issue That was. the whole district capable of fighting (plus dumbo teen Sparrows) got together and hunted it down. when she managed to bump into it in an alley, it was already injured and stripped of a lot of its armor and she Still managed to waste like five bullets before actually getting the first head. the second one was a much cleaner, faster hit. mom grounded her for a month
later she even invited Breeze and Inferno to help her out with the spider infestation of Caper's underhang, that's how Euros met them. Inferno had the time of his fuckin Life shooting it all up while suspended upside down
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#as she got older her aim and hand got better thankfully#worm off the string post mass ascension with sparrows respawned in to help the iterators out in this empty world thought:#she would and Should intimidate Boreas by shooting a lizard thatd be Directly behind him readying to chomp him down. like the bullet flies-#-right past his head into the maw of the thing. older Sparrows is That confident in her aim. but also the puppets' shell can take a bomb so
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youtube
*reaches out my hand and grabs you* I have the power to subject non vocaloid people to pinop..
TW: for flashing lights
Mushroom mother analysis in my tags. ..
#vocaloid#pinochiop#i saw this video link wasn't posted anywhere on tumblr and thought i should share#(i will be gendering protagonist as 'she' and writer as 'he' for simplicity)#anyway to me in my interpretation the song is written about specific person's reaction to mental illness/neurodivergence.#the fact that mushrooms are growing on heads is a reference to mushrooms only growing in darkness and-#-and is a common anime trope to imply that a character is depressed or a shut in (shimeji situation did this) (also a panel in ohshs)#there is this familiarity between the singer and who she is singing to (presumably the writer) like these are the words of a past lover..#making it feel like the pinop almost HATES the protagonist of this song. that he was called the one with the 'mushroom mother'#but it almost feels like that protagonist does become obsessed a little with the idea of not catching a mental illness from pinop#but then in their obsession of 'not catching it' they start exhibiting like a hypochondriac ocd but for mentalillnesses#the 'your mother is a mushroom mother' to me is a teasing (almost child like) jeer almost felt aimed at pinop/writer.#to imply that.. because his mother gave birth to him she's a mushroom mother. because he is a mushroom (like a yo mama joke)#in my mind the writer is insulting himself here. that the chorus is insulting him in that teasey child's tone#anyway later in the song the protagonist gets more paranoid about others spreading their emotional toxicity to her.#and in her sanitation attempt she winds up hurting other people (implied i think. because of the violence of setting mushrooms on fire)#eventually though I think she stops seeing mental illnesses as a flaw and instead of 100% hating she jumps to 100% loving them#tbh this interpretation is the shakiest part (because why would she put on a mushroom on her head in the end) (what does it mean??)#I think it means that she's embraced being allowed to be publicly mentally ill. and she takes that 'being allowed' as permission to be crue#the protagonist was cruel and toxic even before this transformation#then the writer.. in some perspective thinks about how in retrospect her actions were hollow#the writer surmises that living in that cycle would feel emotionally unfulfilling .. empty.#the writer here is coping with what was done to them in the past.. the person that hurt them enough to write this song#then now that she has those mushrooms growing on her head/is depressed and so the chorus of mushroom mother returns to poke fun at her#and in the end i think the writer joins in in that gloating chorus#The writer feels mixed on celebrating an 'ex' being confirmed as something he was for having#but there is also the celebration of being petty. and the franticness those sort of mixed emotions would give u..#and in the end the writer thinks that in the future that the world will keep changing on it's view on the mentally ill#but because those ending lines are repeated twice i think he's implying that there is a cycle to it#that there is a resignation to the world moving and changing into something else but not getting totally better
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NSFW prompt below
I need to write a fic where Wade gets nasty with all the Alternate Universe Logan’s and him and trans Age of Apocalypse Logan fuck amazon style
#deadpool 3#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#Deadpool#I just imagine he fucks wade on the hood of the car fire all around and a bunch of angry sex noises#not to be that guy but it would be kinda hot for aoa Logan to be giving Wade back shots#using one arm to pin him down and the other to aim the hand gun at his head#ok maybe I should add some trigger warnings here#dubious consent#content warning#aoa Logan got to me ok
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ugly maths.
i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.
thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!
you... wanna see?
okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!
ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!
huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—
better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—
mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?
here, i can make it worse.
these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.
now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.
why ugly?
because it makes me ugly.
those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.
87, 75.
the thoughts are as follows:
• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.
• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.
• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!
okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:
that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.
4, 708.
ugly maths.
the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!
27.
mmmm.
6161, 1061.
5100.
87, 75.
12.
mmmm.
you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(
it made me :)
well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.
they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.
1.
have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?
i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.
oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.
ready?
838, 245.
(want a hint? the green numbers!)
838, 87. 245, 75.
9.6, 3.3.
ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!
the numbers make me ask new questions:
• why is it not good enough?
• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?
• is all this maths this really good for you?
no, it isn't.
i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.
ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.
ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.
i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.
#helia rants#cw vent#i'm okay but i'm not#this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks#it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here#i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read#bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths#and in turn starting to feel uglier too#i don't like looking at the numbers#i was doing well at the start of the year#but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote#i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense#the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too#i hate that this is what i've become#because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them#but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers#and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer#and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff#this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret#this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no#it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)
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I can’t believe they made me prefer Shyamalan’s adaptation. I can’t believe they’ve done this to me.
#like he did a bad job but he at least tried something#he failed but he was definitely aiming for something I can appreciate#the new one just took out all agency and everything important about each character#I’m not even talking about sokkas sexism#although that also shows a huge misunderstanding of the original to think that that needed to be taken out to update it#I’m talking about aang not even being allowed the flaw of running away from being the avatar and being a scared kid#he just goes out to fly around a while to like clear his head and gets caught in a storm???#pro tip if your plot is driven by coincidence it is a Bad Plot#him being a kid and being dragged into this world and responsibility is like Important and Good to explore#and also they didn’t they didn’t even get rid of silks being sexist btw they just don’t call it what it is#which is WORSE#he still thinks katara can’t fight or protect the village but all the boys can#they try to frame it like it’s just about leadership?? oh yeah?? why does he think he should be a leader and katara shouldn’t?#whats that called?#and yue works in the kitchen now to be more relatable?#they took the sexism out of his plot line and put it into the show itself#I need to stop adding tags but I could literally go on all day#I’m not precious about adaptations#it’s fine to change things#but if all the changes you make are just removing characters’ agency and growth and the POINT of them#those are Bad Changes#you did it Wrong#also they literally CLUNG to tell don’t show as a guiding principle#they didn’t do the most basic storytelling once#not once did they show something to us instead of just telling us what we’re meant to think over and over#first episode includes about five retellings of the opening monologue#aang TELLING gyatsu that he’s playful instead of once just showing him goofing off#this is fucking storytelling 101#all that to say the movie is terrible but it’s like funny and more like a failed attempt at something decent#this series is more like a successful execution of a bad approach to the story and I think that’s worse
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