#should of aimed for the head
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this was supposed to be just a sketch of my wizards new outfit but then I colored it...
#wizard101#wizard101 art#w101#wizzy101#wizard101 oc#texture go brrrr#if ur reading the tags i am pointing to the text in the sword#i am thinking the skeleton bits are her actual bones#like after novus at some point she gets caught up with the spiral powers#and her torso gets blown off#but wizard is immortal now so she gets up#should of aimed for the head#but losing her torso is worth saving dasein so its all good
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i wna b able to put my legs behind my head again
#but i do hip stretches n stuff n its like 'this what you should aim for' and i can do tht straight away#so if my hips r fine why cant i get my leggies behind my head#i used to do it all the time idk wht changed#i dnt even hav a reason to wna do it i just think itd b a fun thing to b able to do#gna watch tutorials on how to do it#mayb im just too old to do tht now
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working on a lil mimsy moodboard ( ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩) . . !
#i know i should be working on this barou fic rn but also .#need to float around mihawk with hearts over my head#as a treat !!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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in staff meeting. cw suicide
coworker (jocular): this is not a cry for help btw, but how many times can you shoot yourself in the head before you can't hold the gun anymore?
me (completely serious): it depends entirely on what part of your head you hit.
#me stopping myself from saying the exact part of your head you should aim at if you're trying to kill yourself#because that is probably not appropriate information to share in a staff meeting lol#i did learn it in a neuroscience class though#not because i was trying to figure out how to kill myself. but i was like okay thank you putting that tidbit in my back pocket lol#he said he was trying to figure out from like a mystery novel standpoint if the number of gunshots could help in solving the mystery#i just love him going this is NOT a cry for help. [alarming thing that is completely irrelevant to the staff meeting]#guns cw#suicide cw#my posts#f
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okay so. kind of a weird thing. i just finished the dp&w making of, which was reasonably fun but pretty missable, and right as it finished i realized that shawn and ryan ALWAYS used "deadpool" to refer to the character. never his name. i mean maybe once or twice that i forgot but virtually never. they and hugh did say logan and wolverine about 40/60, but honestly that still feels weird to me coming from a fandom context. and, idk. there's a gap there. it feels emblematic of the gap between the people who get to make this kind of movie (cis white men), and the people who don't (us, for the most part). and how what they see as the most important elements of the story and characters are fundamentally out of alignment with what we want. there's a lot of overlap, which is why we're drawn to this stuff in the first place, but it's never going to actually line up. idk it's pretty disheartening but we carry on i suppose.
#deadpool and wolverine#turns out the Slash Fan Experience gets more and more uncomfortable as queerness becomes more and more tantalizingly possible#(but never actually reached)#like in 2000 it was like. well obviously they're not going to have the male hero and his best friend kiss onscreen#obviously they didn't mean to tell that story. but we found it so we can have fun playing with it and making it ours.#but in 2024 it feels more like chasing the carrot tied to your head#deadpool#(YES i know there are lots of movies with queer people in them now. im talking about This Kind of Movie.)#(big budget. engages directly with the cultural mythos. aimed at a large audience. fun and easy to engage with.)#(the stuff that attracts fandoms)#(and the stuff that i tbqh LIKE. i like slick glossy expensive movies with great acting and fun characters)#(that are easy to watch but reward a second viewing)#(and i love characters with a cultural history that by all rights should be public domain at this point)#(like. i fucking despise the MCU but i loved it at first bc it was My Kind Of Thing so exactly)
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watching amadeus. 1. these dudes are gay as hell, 2. I want to give stanzi a gun.
#when she threw that candelabra. she should have followed salieri into his room and aimed for the head.#marina marvels at life
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cw for discussing salary and budgeting
i'm supposed to be getting a job offer later this month to transfer into the company I've been working for this past year. and i know i'm getting the offer and it'll probably be decent since i'm in tech at a big corporate bank, but this will set the baseline for my salary and growth potential for the next couple years and I'm nervous. i got debts to pay off, you know? plus i have a male friend who got in last year with fewer credentials than i do and he's told me how much he makes, and i have another male friend whose level of expertise is similar to mine who should get his offer this week, and seeing how my offer compares to theirs is going to set the standard for my opinion on this company going forward.
idk I'm just yelling my anxieties into the void thanks for listening <3
#yasha at work#the joys of being afab in tech#I've been calculating budgets and scenarios in my head#in any case i should be able to start paying off my loans in earnest#plus I've been living on a. fairly tight budget? don't get me wrong I'm lucky and privileged and I don't need roommates which is fantastic#but every euro has a purpose. and depending on this offer i should gain 300-700 after taxes a month and if i keep an eye on lifestyle creep#i can give myself a little more leeway#i still have like 25k in loans to pay off#cw money#more rambling now: i have calculated three scenarios. lowest possible pay according to the CLA; pipe dream pay and middle of the road pay.#if i aim to put 500 a month into my loans‚ then in the worst case scenario nothing changes from now except i save slightly less#in scenario 2 and 3 i get to go back to vocal training. and in 3 i get more little luxuries and i save more money.#and all of these would be fine i just want to know which it'll be!!!#with me hopefully getting on t in the next 4 to 6 months i want to do vocal training so so so badly i am so scared of not being able to sin#SING lmao
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A.J Pollard’s biography on Edward IV was so cringe lol (generic; minor but frustrating inaccuracies; intensely judgmental at times and oddly dismissive at others while never considering the broader context; entirely diminished and trivialized Elizabeth Woodville as both queen and wife of his main subject in the name of "defending" her; created a false dichotomy between Edward and Henry VII’s styles of ruling and lauded the latter at the former’s expense even though Henry literally followed Edward’s example for the very things Pollard was criticizing Edward for; had a downright nonsensical and thoroughly misleading conclusion about Edward’s legacy & Richard’s usurpation that was based entirely on hindsight, Pollard's own assumptions, and the complete downplaying Richard’s agency and actions to emphasize what Pollard wrongly and misleadingly claimed were Edward's so-called 'failings', etc, etc)
I wanted to buy his book on Henry V but after reading this shitshow and the synopsis of that book, im guessing it's going to be 10x worse, so...no thanks
#history media#this was written months ago im posting it to get it out of my drafts#it wasn't necessarily BAD. it was generic and readable. but it was very disappointing and misleading and its conclusion was just nonsense#listen I have no patience for the dumbfuck idea that edward somehow had the ultimate responsibility for his own son's deposition because#of his 'policies' during his reign. like I said it's based fully on hindsight and entirely devoid of actual context. it's bafflingly stupid#literally everyone expected Edward V to succeed his father and 'both hoped for and expected' (Croyland's own words) a successful reign#Edward V's deposition was richard and solely Richard's fault lol this should not be difficult to understand#the reason Richard's usurpation was possible in the first place was bcause everyone expected E5 to succeed and didn't expect Richard#do to what he did. nothing would have happened without his initiative and decisions. it had nothing to do with Edward's 'policies'#Edward's policies were fine. henry vii - who pollard vaunts to no end - literally *followed* them#and claiming that he failed to unite England under the Yorkist dynasty is just plain stupid#buddy if he truly failed at that then neither Richard III nor Henry VII would have thrones lol. both emphasized continuity with#him when aiming for the throne. like the whole point of 1483-85 was that it was a conflict WITHIN the 'Yorkist' dynasty#it was not an external threat against it.#'his legacy failed' his legacy didn't fail his brother destroyed it (while also presenting himself as his heir because logic what's logic?)#henry's victory was very much the triumph of his legacy (a claimant chosen by his supporters as the husband of his daughter)#like this is really not my interpretation it is literally what happened#i'm not trying to glorify e4 but his son did inherit the throne in a more advantageous circumstances than any other minor king of england#and frankly than most other adult kings. dumping blame on Edward's literal corpse rather than acknowledge Richard's agency is so tasteless#the problem isn't that edward made a mistake in trusting his brother. many other kings including Henry V also trusted theirs.#the problem is that his brother was willing to break that trust in a way that was unprecedented and broke all political norms of that age#ie: Richard's usurpation occurred because of Richard who re-ignited conflict to make himself king. please drill this into your head#also btw this illogical 'interpretation' is based entirely on Charles Ross' hatred and derision towards Elizabeth Woodville and her family#if you agree with this inteterpretation you agree with his vilification of them 🤷🏻♀️#anyway if you want a better interpretation that's actually analytical and looks a relevant rather than a flawed retrospective perspective#i would recommend rosemary horrox's 'richard iii: a study of service' and david horspool's 'richard iii: a ruler and his reputation'#anyway one last time: STOP downplaying Richard's agency and actions. historians who do this are stupid and embarrassing. bye.#(i should really post horspool's glorious takedown of ross and Pollard huh? it was very entertaining to read)
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Do farmer ancients have to cut the worm grass?
Is it any good to eat or is it just a weed? I imagine it could make a good garnish, I always imagine worm grass as homicidal green onion.
Also, what kinda tools/weapons do they use? Do they use guns to fight off predators or do they rely on spears and such, maybe electric spears as cattle prods to fend off the deer who shall not be named?
most likely they have to, yeah! can't have that shit growing tall and deathly dangerous to Them too. i can imagine that worm grass is often around the actual plots with the crops to keep em safe from smaller herbivors
you people and askin me what these fictional people stick into their mouths i swear sdjgklkcmsldmlk honestly anything living can be food if u prepare it well, so sure, yeah, worm grass is edible under Certain Circumstances. i can't help but think of it as some fucked up chewy gummy worm.....
usual farm tools are present! they have spade forks, axes (trees real, wood usually used for some building or woodcutting art, Sparrows' mask is made of wood!), shovels (Sparrows' favorite weapon of choice), scythes n so on
the weaponry is more sophisticated than what we get in game, absolutely. though electric spears as cattle prod i Do Really Like, you're smart
chemical warfare (pesticide can get wild) and guns are often utilized. each family has at least one designated expert at one of these and for Sparrows' family it's the elder twin brothers, Breeze and Inferno. took interest in the respective offensive crafts as kids and nerded about it hard. one of their duties is passing some skills on the other kids in the family- Sparrows is a pretty solid shot thanks to Inferno's endless enthusiasm for bullets in chitin covered heads
in the first Beppi noodle they are actually gettin ready to drop a lil pesticide dynamite stick shaped thing into a thingy- prolly their version of a silo
i've a Scenario
updated thought-thru version: all bugs in the game are things that naturally occur in the world (+ also lizards. to me.), so beastly centipedes were a thing even back then n maybe even more common. the red centipede thing happened when Sparrows was 18 and Not Yet in the respawn cycle. she likes putting her life in danger despite not wanting to die, apparently
it was scuttling through the streets, so you can imagine how much of an issue That was. the whole district capable of fighting (plus dumbo teen Sparrows) got together and hunted it down. when she managed to bump into it in an alley, it was already injured and stripped of a lot of its armor and she Still managed to waste like five bullets before actually getting the first head. the second one was a much cleaner, faster hit. mom grounded her for a month
later she even invited Breeze and Inferno to help her out with the spider infestation of Caper's underhang, that's how Euros met them. Inferno had the time of his fuckin Life shooting it all up while suspended upside down
#Spot says stuff#rw#oc tag#as she got older her aim and hand got better thankfully#worm off the string post mass ascension with sparrows respawned in to help the iterators out in this empty world thought:#she would and Should intimidate Boreas by shooting a lizard thatd be Directly behind him readying to chomp him down. like the bullet flies-#-right past his head into the maw of the thing. older Sparrows is That confident in her aim. but also the puppets' shell can take a bomb so
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youtube
*reaches out my hand and grabs you* I have the power to subject non vocaloid people to pinop..
TW: for flashing lights
Mushroom mother analysis in my tags. ..
#vocaloid#pinochiop#i saw this video link wasn't posted anywhere on tumblr and thought i should share#(i will be gendering protagonist as 'she' and writer as 'he' for simplicity)#anyway to me in my interpretation the song is written about specific person's reaction to mental illness/neurodivergence.#the fact that mushrooms are growing on heads is a reference to mushrooms only growing in darkness and-#-and is a common anime trope to imply that a character is depressed or a shut in (shimeji situation did this) (also a panel in ohshs)#there is this familiarity between the singer and who she is singing to (presumably the writer) like these are the words of a past lover..#making it feel like the pinop almost HATES the protagonist of this song. that he was called the one with the 'mushroom mother'#but it almost feels like that protagonist does become obsessed a little with the idea of not catching a mental illness from pinop#but then in their obsession of 'not catching it' they start exhibiting like a hypochondriac ocd but for mentalillnesses#the 'your mother is a mushroom mother' to me is a teasing (almost child like) jeer almost felt aimed at pinop/writer.#to imply that.. because his mother gave birth to him she's a mushroom mother. because he is a mushroom (like a yo mama joke)#in my mind the writer is insulting himself here. that the chorus is insulting him in that teasey child's tone#anyway later in the song the protagonist gets more paranoid about others spreading their emotional toxicity to her.#and in her sanitation attempt she winds up hurting other people (implied i think. because of the violence of setting mushrooms on fire)#eventually though I think she stops seeing mental illnesses as a flaw and instead of 100% hating she jumps to 100% loving them#tbh this interpretation is the shakiest part (because why would she put on a mushroom on her head in the end) (what does it mean??)#I think it means that she's embraced being allowed to be publicly mentally ill. and she takes that 'being allowed' as permission to be crue#the protagonist was cruel and toxic even before this transformation#then the writer.. in some perspective thinks about how in retrospect her actions were hollow#the writer surmises that living in that cycle would feel emotionally unfulfilling .. empty.#the writer here is coping with what was done to them in the past.. the person that hurt them enough to write this song#then now that she has those mushrooms growing on her head/is depressed and so the chorus of mushroom mother returns to poke fun at her#and in the end i think the writer joins in in that gloating chorus#The writer feels mixed on celebrating an 'ex' being confirmed as something he was for having#but there is also the celebration of being petty. and the franticness those sort of mixed emotions would give u..#and in the end the writer thinks that in the future that the world will keep changing on it's view on the mentally ill#but because those ending lines are repeated twice i think he's implying that there is a cycle to it#that there is a resignation to the world moving and changing into something else but not getting totally better
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NSFW prompt below
I need to write a fic where Wade gets nasty with all the Alternate Universe Logan’s and him and trans Age of Apocalypse Logan fuck amazon style
#deadpool 3#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#Deadpool#I just imagine he fucks wade on the hood of the car fire all around and a bunch of angry sex noises#not to be that guy but it would be kinda hot for aoa Logan to be giving Wade back shots#using one arm to pin him down and the other to aim the hand gun at his head#ok maybe I should add some trigger warnings here#dubious consent#content warning#aoa Logan got to me ok
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ugly maths.
i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.
thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!
you... wanna see?
okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!
ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!
huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—
better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—
mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?
here, i can make it worse.
these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.
now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.
why ugly?
because it makes me ugly.
those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.
87, 75.
the thoughts are as follows:
• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.
• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.
• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!
okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:
that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.
4, 708.
ugly maths.
the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!
27.
mmmm.
6161, 1061.
5100.
87, 75.
12.
mmmm.
you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(
it made me :)
well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.
they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.
1.
have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?
i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.
oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.
ready?
838, 245.
(want a hint? the green numbers!)
838, 87. 245, 75.
9.6, 3.3.
ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!
the numbers make me ask new questions:
• why is it not good enough?
• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?
• is all this maths this really good for you?
no, it isn't.
i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.
ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.
ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.
i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.
#helia rants#cw vent#i'm okay but i'm not#this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks#it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here#i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read#bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths#and in turn starting to feel uglier too#i don't like looking at the numbers#i was doing well at the start of the year#but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote#i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense#the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too#i hate that this is what i've become#because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them#but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers#and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer#and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff#this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret#this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no#it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)
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I can’t believe they made me prefer Shyamalan’s adaptation. I can’t believe they’ve done this to me.
#like he did a bad job but he at least tried something#he failed but he was definitely aiming for something I can appreciate#the new one just took out all agency and everything important about each character#I’m not even talking about sokkas sexism#although that also shows a huge misunderstanding of the original to think that that needed to be taken out to update it#I’m talking about aang not even being allowed the flaw of running away from being the avatar and being a scared kid#he just goes out to fly around a while to like clear his head and gets caught in a storm???#pro tip if your plot is driven by coincidence it is a Bad Plot#him being a kid and being dragged into this world and responsibility is like Important and Good to explore#and also they didn’t they didn’t even get rid of silks being sexist btw they just don’t call it what it is#which is WORSE#he still thinks katara can’t fight or protect the village but all the boys can#they try to frame it like it’s just about leadership?? oh yeah?? why does he think he should be a leader and katara shouldn’t?#whats that called?#and yue works in the kitchen now to be more relatable?#they took the sexism out of his plot line and put it into the show itself#I need to stop adding tags but I could literally go on all day#I’m not precious about adaptations#it’s fine to change things#but if all the changes you make are just removing characters’ agency and growth and the POINT of them#those are Bad Changes#you did it Wrong#also they literally CLUNG to tell don’t show as a guiding principle#they didn’t do the most basic storytelling once#not once did they show something to us instead of just telling us what we’re meant to think over and over#first episode includes about five retellings of the opening monologue#aang TELLING gyatsu that he’s playful instead of once just showing him goofing off#this is fucking storytelling 101#all that to say the movie is terrible but it’s like funny and more like a failed attempt at something decent#this series is more like a successful execution of a bad approach to the story and I think that’s worse
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Honestly the writing surrounding April wasn’t great in 2012 (okay it was at times a goddamn mess and they had too much going on there, streamline things people) but I don’t trust people who really (obsessively even), seem to hate her and yet apparently love and adore that shows versions of Donatello and Casey.
Please.
#TMNT 2012#I’m sorry but Donatello and Casey were often annoying and it wasn’t as if April was exuding ‘make boys act shitty’ toxins from her pores#it was mostly messy writing tbh#like it’s not actually that big of a problem the boys were pretty shitty at the beginning … it just didn’t have great character arcs for it#Like only time I can sorta get mega April hate is really when she calls the turtles “mutant freaks” after her dad gets mutated#but like I’m more irritated by the fact donatello when he learns a lesson gets constantly hit with a reset button next time he sees her#and Casey learns not a goddamn thing#Like teaching boys not to be weird to girls in romance isn’t a half bad character arc or lesson to teach#Esp when the show’s primary demographic aim is probably young boys#but the trouble is even the show was weird about April at points#‘The fuck: why did the show tie april up like that?’#is not something I should be asking myself#Like in retrospect people freaked about april kissing Donnie in that big foot episode as ruining donnies potential to move on#but donatello has ‘learned a lesson’ before only to have it seem like it never happened next time#so did she really? Let’s think about that in context a bit harder folks#like I hear it gets better like in season four but godddaaaammmnn#Like how is splinter not putting his head through a wall from bashing it into it in frustration given his back story#this splinter has the patience of a saint when it comes to his second youngest frankly#2012 TMNT criticism
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i dont use spotify but i did end up doing a new install of poweramp almost exactly a year ago because i switched phones so here's what's the top of the "most played" category. i wanna be involved too LOL
#now this is not a list of the things i most listened to - because the way poweramp categorizes plays seems to be like#how many times you specifically click on a song#and i listen to everything on shuffle forever. my method of listening to music is put the thing on shuffle and press next until i find#something i wanna listen to and then put that on repeat#and i dont think poweramp classifies finding something on shuffle nor does it classify repeats as more plays#BUT these songs were specifcally clicked by me a bunch so thats something LOL#not the top 10 because my settings make only the top 8 visible in a screenshot HFJDKHJD BUT if u wanna know#9 was kage asobi (another jump into the new world song LOL) and number 10 was the poet and the muse from alan wake 1#as u can see i was listening to the liella subunit album a LOT and specifically i was clicking the different songs often#largely cause i was trying to get a handle on the new girl tomoris voice HJKDS but also because 5yncri5e sounds FANTASTIC#especially a little love like kinako and tomori OWN that song they song so so good in it#also for some reason i remembered that portugal the man song from like the far off year of 2010 and it was stuck in my head a lot hjkdhd#triage is great i dunno its just a really fun song to listen to. i was also so very shocked by the video that shidou. is a dad. LOL#mkdr/dscf is just an addicting song so i definitely was aiming for it often#idol is just a very good song also LOL#and hanako by atarashii gakko is so fun everyne should listen to atarashii gakko#also like most of these songs i like partially becaue they make me think of specific ocs but im too lazy to say which ones are which LOL#but thats another reason they were clicked on rather than shuffled to. thinking about.....ocs HJKFSL
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me like ..... am I a bad teacher .......because I make class fun and my students laugh ........ surely this is wrong ........
#actually that's not really the guilt#the guilt is that I feel certain I'm not stopping or preventing the cheating the way that I should be#or enforcing the rules consistently#i just have this horrible nagging feeling that I'm letting them get away with too much#and it isn't good for them or me or the school#but also like. my class is fun. they are paying attention most of the time to the text and engaging with it in a variety of ways#i enjoy my job (most of the time) so i am not burnt out and bitter#i think i'm opening some real doors for them and isn't that what matters?#and yet!#anyway this has been the voice in my head over and over and over the past couple of weeks!!!!#because there is a lot of cheating that goes on. just generally. and shenanigans i don't approve of and all of that#and there is this part of me that wants to be a hard-ass#not because i think i should be and not because i'm putting that pressure on myself#but because i don't WANT to let them get away with everything! it's important to me that i sometimes catch them out#make them face the consequences of their actions#in a meaningful way!#idk i guess i just need to keep aiming for that without feeling that i need to remove any element of fun#or personality from my room#idk idk just musing aloud
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