#should just tag this as

[jtl07]

jt (finally) watches warrior nun - s1 e8 (pt 3)

Okay final thoughts about e8 before I finally move on to e9 (also apologies if this comes out more disjointed than usual - seems like the franticn energy from last night was some kind of pre-cold energy because ugh my throat is not well) — in this rambling session, I want to talk about the blocks, namely the time when Ava successfully gets through 20 feet and how that connects back to those key scenes in e3.

But before that, can we take a moment to talk about Beatrice and touch in this episode? After so many episodes of her not touching people, she touches Ava and Lilith here, both to soothe when they’re in obvious distress:

Which is also such an interesting contrast to the distance Beatrice gives Ava in the hall:

Yes, it’s like she wants to give Ava space, to reassure that Beatrice is there but isn’t pushing, that she only wants to help - but I can't help but also recognize that Ava isn't experiencing pain in this moment, that there's no “excuse” for Bea to lean on that would allow her to, well, lean in - with physical comfort that is. But she does it verbally with the quiet in her voice, the focus in her eyes.

In a way it’s similar to the hallway scene in e3 after the embrace:

Both of those scenes feature Beatrice trying to get Ava to open up - and eventually succeeding. What’s interesting is that in the hallway scene in e3, it's Ava that's angry, and she's asking for Beatrice's belief, her trust. In the hallway scene in e8, Ava's scared, and Beatrice is asking Ava to trust her - again.

But I can't help but also wonder: How did we get from this:

To this:

(Side note: Getting screenshots of this moment made me love this scene even more because gosh, the way you can see how Beatrice falls for Ava here is just - ugh, KTY and Alba, y'all are the besttttt)

But instead of going the route of comparing the differences, let’s compare what’s similar.

So in both, we have Beatrice reacting on instinct, the instinct to comfort and soothe. Additionally, it’s during an act of trust on Ava’s part, trust in Beatrice to keep her safe. Episode 8 however, has the added depth of Ava trusting Beatrice with her deepest fear, and Beatrice promising her that it she’ll do everything she can to make sure it doesn’t come true. (Which gosh, how beautiful is that, to have that kind of devotion in your corner?)

But also, preceding this scene was Beatrice giving trust to Ava with her revelation. And what’s so meaningful is that Ava doesn’t treat her any differently after having learned this about Beatrice - she continues to give Beatrice her trust, in fact gives more because she tells Beatrice her fear. (And maybe it was because Beatrice had shared earlier that Ava felt like she could share with Beatrice. Trust is a reinforcing cycle in that way)

Also, both of these sharing moments were when they were each facing their fears literally: When Ava calls out Beatrice, it’s due to Beatrice kinda acting like a monster, a thing to hate; When Beatrice nudges Ava to think deeper on her fear, Ava’s encased in stone, alone.

But then they each take the other person's fear, looks at it, looks at them and says, yeah, that’s scary, but you don’t have to be afraid. Ava tells Beatrice that she’s beautiful; Beatrice tells Ava she won’t ever be left alone.

To connect back to my previous commentary about fear and anger and want: they each see the want underneath the fear and offer it to the other person, without any conditions or expectations, just pure and unconditional.

And maybe that’s why Beatrice is so … astounded when Ava comes through the blocks - just look at her face! - to have that trust returned, to be given the opportunity to give that kind of gift to someone else. And yes, Beatrice still catches herself, but the moment is there, the experience was shared: the exhilaration that comes from trust given, trust returned, trust proven - and trust making possible to overcome something seemingly impossible together.

(Huh, that makes me think also about Ava’s fall in s2 - that perhaps it was because of Beatrice’s overflow of emotions that somehow helped the halo recharge and for Ava to miraculously - impossibly - come back to life…)

Actually one more thought: The way Ava falls through the last of the blocks and into Beatrice's arms reminded me a bit of a trust fall - yeah, you're supposed to be not facing the person, but Ava didn't know Beatrice was going to be there (the last time, Ava fell on the ground). But Ava just like, collapses into Bea:

Fuzzy screenshot is fuzzy but there's no standing up from that. She has no balance, no further power it seems. Ava put her all into the last couple steps - put Beatrice's promise to the test, really. And Beatrice, even though she was caught unawares, still catches her, is joyful even to be given the trust to do it:

(This scene~~~~)

Okay I think the cold medicine’s kicking in, time to call it. Hopefully I’ll get to e9 this week (man I was hoping to get through both seasons before Aug 15 but at this rate, I have no idea lol) but I also just want to say thanks to y’all for reading and liking and reblogging!

[daisyofwaterdeep]

had a dream I went to a hozier concert and mr. hozier stopped singing and pointed to me in the crowd and asked me to go get him some extra crispy tofu and a blueberry shake for after the show and then the crowd passed his debit card to me and when I got it I could see his real legal name was Horace Bob-omb

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[s0up1ta]

toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls

[mylittleredgirl]

that moment when you cross the point of no return with a character should be accompanied by a specific chime i think. like 🔔 congratulations! this one has been installed in the Permanent Collection and you will never stop thinking about them as long as you live

[gentleralts]

i'm a genius

and if anybody else out there with access to a button press wants to make these pins for themselves i've included a sheet to print out under the readmore

as long as you're printing this in portrait orientation without margins on a 8.5x11 inch sheet of paper, this should print out in the correct sizes for 25mm buttons and 37mm buttons respectively

apologies if tumblr shrinking the image size makes the image quality not so great if you print this out as it is, i'd suggest putting it through a threshold filter so it just uses black ink

[fesenmoon]

no fucking way

[isjasz]

📸📸📸 (screenshot redraws :D)

[sexlapis]

obsessed with the idea of nanami just putting you on his lap whenever he gets the chance 💭

watching tv? you’re on his lap watching whatever he’s watching. working at his desk in his office? you’re on his lap watching him scribbling all over random paper work you couldn’t care less about. you’re playing video games? you’re on his lap just because he wants to watch you play the game you like spending his money on. you’re on the phone? he’s putting you one his lap, so now you’re both on the phone. you’re doing work? yeah, you’re on his lap and his chin is looking over your shoulder to admire your writing. you just got back from work? he’s putting you in his lap and listening to you talk about your boss and annoying coworkers.

just nanami putting you on his lap whenever he wants to!

ps i made a little fic abt it <3

[ketzzzel]

lunch

[keymintt]

a comic/zine about coyotes

[cj-the-random-artist]

Is this my best comic ever?? Nope. Do I think I characterized either of these two particularly well in this comic?? Not really. Did I spend an unreasonable amount of time on it to the point that it would be a waste to not post it?? Yes, yes I did.

I really committed to this one, spent a lot of time on those backgrounds and treated myself to ample suffering with the perspective, which is not my strong suit but I am happy with how it ultimately looks. Yay perspective and background practice!!

(Tbh I shouldn't talk like I think this one sucks, I think I've just been staring at it for so long that my brain has decided it's not good and it's actually way better than I think it is, and honestly I am quite happy with it. The artistic process really is something, isn't it?)

The inspiration was basically me reminding... myself... to take breaks sometimes... by drawing for several hour stints during my only little bits of free time. Which totally tracks. Probably. But I've been rolling around in my brain this idea that Lambert is a very uptight people pleaser and anxious workaholic, but Narinder, at least since adjusting himself to the circumstances (which probably took at least a century, maybe two) has discovered the joys of self care, and has made an active effort to chill tf out. This has not made him any less terrifying to the cultists (save for Lambert's closest disciples), nor has it made him friendlier to really anyone but Lambert (and maybe his siblings), but he sure has found some serious peace of mind. That said, I can't place what his motivations are here. Perhaps he is secretly concerned about Lambert's sanity, because he doesn't want them to turn into what he was, or maybe he's just trying to steal away some quality time with his one and only friend, but regardless of the reason, I spent too much time on this for nobody to see it, dang it.

That said. Enjoy this silly little comic that I spent way too much time on, and I hope this silly comic brings you some joy today.

[doodlecrumb]

Marauders fandom!! You have been summoned. Look! It’s a James! Feast thine eyes! (I’m sorry, do what you want. I’m not the boss of you. Have a nice day.)

[ciderjacks]

dad issues

+

(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)

[feelo-fick]

"it feels like just yesterday you wanted to kick me in the throat..."

"that WAS yesterday! good times..."

og post :]