#should have just gotten some monkey flowers

[tggardens]

Some recent finds from the Heaps Peak Arboretum Native Plant Sale yesterday! It was a great event, very well run by the volunteers. Getting there about an hour early was the right move, and the "serious" buyers brought wagons or huge bags for their purchases.

I went to check it out and specifically limited myself to only a few plants so I didn't overload myself and take on too much this summer. The baby is almost 9 months old now, so I'll have a little more time but it would definitely be too easy to plant the entire yard and lose it all.

So, I can home with a Lepechinia fragrans or Fragrant Pitcher Sage, a Ceanothus maritimus "Popcorn" (a cultivar), and a Blushing Coral Bells. According to a brief Google search that one is not actually a CA native plant, but is actually from the east coast of the US and isn't invasive so it can live in a pot instead of being planted directly into the ground.

I should have gotten some monkey flowers from the small patch of sun we have. Good thing there's another sale in the fall!

[godmadeaterribleerror]

If You Only Knew Pt. 2

Main Masterlist

Read on A03! - Part 1

Tags: Soldier Boy/Female Reader, tooth rotting fluff, pining, emotions (oh no), smut (fingering, oral f!receiving, p in v)

Title from I Can See You by Taylor Swift.

Summary/Warnings: Request from an anon! Ben is experiencing feelings. Real feelings. For a woman. But his reputation his proceeds him, so trying to win her over is taking a while. Once he gets a chance, he simply fucking refuses to blow it.

Author's Note: Nothing better than making a man be down bad.

Word Count: 8.5k

He’d pulled out the fucking stops. Ben didn’t even know what the fucking stops were, but he’d pulled them out. He was going to make every goddamn romance in history look fucking pathetic. She was going to swoon and fall into his arms like a movie, and he’d kiss Her like the hero he was, and then he’d have Her forever.

Just Her. All for him. 

If Ben did this right—and he would, because he was a goddamn gentleman and not a fucking pussy asshole who would fail the first woman who’d managed to make his heart move—he’d get to have Her forever. He’d have one fucking person he didn’t need to prance around like a monkey for, who he could walk home to, smile at, and fucking mean it. One person he actually liked, who didn’t want to see him do a trick or say the right thing, who just wanted him. Who spoke to him without fear, but still with reverence, because Ben would make Her fall for him so fucking hard, she’d finally feel all these stupid goddamn emotions he’d been plagued with over the last year. 

Ben would do whatever the hell he needed to for Her feel this. This strange fucking pull to be near Her all the goddamn time, and serve her, and talk to her. He’d throw everything he had into showing Her that he felt it—more than he’d ever felt fucking anything—and that if She could feel it too, he’d never allow her to stop feeling it. He’d fucking worship Her. He’d be whatever She needed him to be. 

And She just seemed to want Ben to be Ben. 

Which made him fall harder. 

And made him all the more resolved to romance the fucking Christ out of Her. 

He was picking Her up. Standing outside Her apartment with a bouquet of flowers like some goddamn idiot. Shifting on his feet as he waited for Her, because her roommates said she was still getting ready, and Ben wasn’t allowed inside. 

Her roommates didn’t really seem to like him. Ben didn’t really fucking care what they thought. They weren’t Her, and she was the only one who fucking mattered right now. Maybe ever.

Christ on a cross, that would be nice. If She got to be the only thing that mattered to Ben. If Ben got to be the only thing that mattered to Her.

He should knock on the door again, because it could not take that fucking long to get ready for a date. Ben had done fucking everything—suit, shaving, shoes, cologne—and that had taken him five goddamn minutes. Maybe those fucking bitches were trying to talk Her out of this. Trying to tell Her that Ben wasn’t serious about her, and she shouldn’t waste Her time with him.

She needed to waste Her time with him. Ben was here to do fucking everything with Her, and that included wasting time. Together. If he had it his way, they’d waste time all fucking night, and then keep wasting it for another million years.

He needed to break that fucking door down. He’d fix it after, too, for Her. He’d do fucking anything for Her, and if she was having doubts, he needed to kill them-

The door swung open only a second before his fist went flying, and Ben felt like he’d gotten punched.

She was flawless. Fucking gorgeous, designed by goddamn heaven and sent to Earth like some star that never burned out. Ben had never seen anything like Her, in front of him and smiling. Perfectly colored lips and styled hair and sinful body, more beautiful every second because She was being beautiful for Ben. She always looked like a fucking incarnation of Ben’s fantasies and dreams—no matter what She wore or how she did her makeup—and he’d seen Her look like this a million times for charity galas, but it had never been for Ben.

She’d chosen that dress for him. She’d done Her hair because they were going out. She picked a lipstick she wanted Ben to see.

And if Ben did this fucking right—did this like She deserved—he could have that color staining his cock by the end of the night. 

“Hi.” She whispered, giving him a sweet smile, and Ben was going to fucking explode. “I’m sorry about my roommates. They’re protective.”

“Good.” He grunted, glaring over Her head. “You deserve to be protected. But they don’t have to fucking protect you from me!”

She raised Her brows, even as a faint, pretty flush crept over her face. “I don’t think that’s going to convince them, Ben.”

“I don’t give a fuck.” He muttered, moving his gaze back to Her. Christ, She was too goddamn beautiful. It was trapping him in a loop. “You look fucking hot.”

“Thank you. You, um, you too.” 

Her voice sounded breathy, and She was looking at Ben like she wanted to jump on him. He needed to keep that look on Her face for the rest of goddamn time.

The stops. Ben needed to pull out the fucking stops.

“These are for you.” He shoved the flowers into Her hands, scanning over Her pretty features to check that they had the intended effect. They seemed to. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and Ben could hear her heart do a little stumble in Her chest, so he was pretty damn sure they’d worked.

“Ben-“

“There’s paper in my car, too.” Ben jumped in, because She needed to know about everything before She formed an opinion. “And a fuck ton of pencils.”

She blinked at him. “Why?”

“You said you needed more paper and pencils.”

“I said-“ She swallowed, Her body leaning a little closer to his. That seemed good. “I said I needed more paper and pencils, so you bought me more paper and pencils?”

Ben frowned. He was pretty he’d made that damn clear. “What the fuck else was I supposed to do.”

“Nothing.” She smiled at Ben. The soft smile. He’d fucking nailed it. “Thank you, Ben.”

He grunted, offering Her his arm. “Are you ready.”

She nodded, disappearing back into Her apartment for only a second to put the flowers in a vase before returning, fucking smiling at him again, and letting Ben lead Her out of her shitty apartment building to his car. She looked fucking right in his car. The seat molded perfectly around Her, she was beautiful at Ben’s side, and this was where She belonged. Where Ben could touch Her—his hand curled into a fist in an effort to not touch Her, not yet—and she could be comfortable. In luxury. 

She deserved luxury more than fucking pussy Ben knew. More than the assholes who already had it, more than the brown-nosing dick-riders who chased it at Vought. Ben could fucking give it Her. She didn’t even have to ask, and he’d move the world onto a platter at Her feet. Because She was real, and beautiful, and so fucking sweet Ben got a little fucking high on it when She spoke. When She told him about all her students in the car, and giggled at his jokes. When She smiled at him in the golden light of the road, took his hand out of the car with sparkling eyes, and leaned into his touch as he guided Her into the empty restaurant.

He could get used to this. To the look of wide, blatant awe on Her face as they were led to their table—it was a nice fucking restaurant, and Ben had picked it out specifically for Her, so that was another damn good sign—and the way that whenever their eyes met, she’d give him that soft smile again.

“Ben.” She whispered as they sat down. “Where are all the other people?”

He shrugged, giving the waiter a curt nod as he poured the water and left them alone. “Not fucking here, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, I know that. Why aren’t they here?”

“Probably because I rented the place.”

She sat a little taller, and Her expression open as her lips parted and brow furrowed. 

“What’s-“

“The whole restaurant?” Her voice was barely a breath, and Ben frowned. 

“Obviously,” He grunted, trying to work out why the fuck this was freaking Her out. “Do you not like it?”

“Not at all, it’s just-“ She pulled her lower lip between Her teeth, fingers fidgeting with her napkin. “You didn’t have to do that. For me.”

Ben scowled. “Of course I fucking had to-“

“Ben-“

“Sweetheart, if I didn’t, people would be gawking at us all damn night. Sticking their fucking noses in your business, crawling up your taint like they’re always up mine.” Ben leaned forward, holding Her wide gaze. She needed to know he was serious. That She was damn worth this, and Ben would keep Her safe. Keep Her at peace, away from the fucking vultures and monsters, at Vought and in the media. “This is for us, babygirl. I’m not going let any fucking pussy bother you, let anyone look at you who you don’t want to. And nobody,” he shot Her a wink. “Is going to crawl up your taint but me.”

She giggled, Her body relaxing, and Ben counted that as another fucking victory. “That’s gross, Ben.”

“It’s true.” He shrugged, bracing his forearms on the table. “Until you say the word, nobody’s going to know fucking shit about us.”

“The waiters will know.” She pointed out, even as the pretty flush returned. “About… us.”

Christ, the word us had never sounded so fucking good. Ben never wanted to hear anyone but Her say it again. He never wanted it to mean anyone but them. Her and Ben. Us. Something he could defend and protect and keep just for them, together.

He chuckled. “The waiters will keep their pussy fucking mouths shut, if they know what’s good for them.”

She rolled Her eyes, but her smile remained. “You’d murder a waiter for me?”

She was joking. Ben would murder a waiter for Her, if she asked—She never would, but if she did, she wouldn’t even have to say please—but She was joking, so he just laughed.

“For you, I’d kill the damn president.”

Another fucking giggle escaped her. Ben wanted to bottle that sound and shoot it into his blood like goddamn heroine. “That’s not very American of you, Soldier-“

“Don’t fucking say it.” He raised an accusing finger at Her, even as a smile tugged at his mouth. “It’s Ben to you, sweetheart.”

She hummed, raising Her brows slightly. “Is it Ben for all the other girls, too?” 

“Wouldn’t know.” He leaned forward with a smirk, lowering his voice to the rumble that always seemed to make that slack, wanting expression pop up. “There aren’t any other girls.”

“Oh.” She whispered, and there it was. Ben had Her. So fucking close. “No girls?”

“No girls,” Ben’s voice was firm as he said Her name, because he’d had countless other women in his bed but none of them had been his. None of them had been even fucking close to what She was, what Ben hoped she could be to him. “I was damn serious, sweetheart. I haven’t fucked another woman in a year.”

She swallowed. “For me?”

He nodded, watching Her carefully, and she gave him a soft, slightly nervous smile.

“No sex?” She raised Her brows. “You must have a lot a free time now, huh?”

Ben laughed. It was loud and rolling through his chest, breaking the static silence of the restaurant because Christ, he needed to have Her. 

“Smart fucking mouth, babygirl.” He smirked, leaning forward. “Not wrong, either. You’re going to get a fucking master.”

He winked, and there was a soft hitch in Her breath.

“I’m getting a master?”

“I haven’t be keeping it in my pants for fun,” Ben drawled Her name, and he could get addicted to that flush and small gasp. “We’re going to fill up that free time together.”

“Oh. Okay.” 

She was gaping at Ben—practically fucking drooling—and if he grabbed Her face, he could kiss her. Here. Now. Blow Her fucking mind and fill that free time right here on the damn table. Fill Her on the damn table-

“What have you been using the free time for?” She asked. “While you’ve been, um, keeping it in your pants.”

He shrugged. He’d waited a year. He could wait a few more hours to fuck Her stupid. “Watched TV. Smoked.” He tilted his head at Her. “What do you use your free time for.”

“I, um, I don’t really have free time,” She mumbled, and Ben frowned. He’d have to fix that.

“What would you do?” He pushed, ready to mentally mark whatever he’d need to keep around for Her, once she had that time. “If you had the time?”

“Maybe a hobby?” She pulled her lips between her teeth, and if She kept doing that, they wouldn’t make it to actual dinner. “I could make art. Or write. Or bake.” She tilted Her head. “I think I just like making things. Seeing that I did something, and it was me. I did it.”

Ben nodded. He could get paint. And more fucking paper and pencils. And whatever the hell people used to bake. He didn’t understand Her making something shit, but Christ, he liked Her for feeling it and saying it. She was so fucking caring and sweet, he was going to lose his damn mind. “That why you teach?”

“Yeah, actually. I think it is.” She gave him an odd look. “What about you? What would you do as a hobby?”

Ben opened his mouth, and She shook her head.

“Don’t say drugs. Or me.”

He scoffed, and fuck, She looked hot when she was smug. “Fuck off, Sweetheart-“

“Was I wrong?”

“No.” He grumbled. “But I don’t fucking do hobbies.”

She snorted. “Everyone does hobbies, Ben. You just haven’t found one you like.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but he was still grinning. He didn’t know how the fuck She did that to his face. “What, you think I’m going to start fucking knitting, like some damn pussy grandma-“

“You could collect something,” She offered, and Ben might fucking die if She kept sounding so sincere. Like She actually fucking cared that he found something to enjoy. “Or do a sport-“

He snorted. “I don’t fucking do sports. No one can keep up with me, it’s not fucking fun.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She swallowed, and Ben didn’t miss how She glanced at his arms, and chest, and hands. How that expression like She wanted to jump on him was back. “How about woodworking?”

Ben raised his brows. “Woodworking.”

She hummed, nodding with a small, teasing smile. “It’s a very masculine hobby, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s probably that, or coaching little league.”

Ben chuckled, but his brain started to spin into images of coaching little league for their kids. And he’d be more fucking thrown by that image if similar ones didn’t flash through his brain all the damn time. If he didn’t constantly fucking imagine a real life with Her. If he didn’t think about it all the goddamn time, because She was it. Ben wanted all of Her, and he’d be damned if he didn’t give Her his own all once he had her-

Right before Ben could damn it, throw himself over the table at Her, and prove to her that he was damn serious about his with his mouth and hands and cock—that he’d never fantasize about fucking Little League for any other woman—the waiter interrupted them to get their orders.

Ben ordered first, and She just took what he was having. She didn’t even glance at the damn menu.

“You know,” he drawled Her name, raising his brows. “I just fucking eat whatever the hell people put in front of me. That food might be fucking shit.”

She didn’t laugh like he’d expected. She just gave him an odd, unreadable look, and moved on. It wasn’t until the end of the night, when the food was gone and Ben felt fucking high on Her laugher and beauty, that it was mentioned again. When he asked if the food was worth the risk, and that look came back, this time with a question that threw Ben right off his goddamn axis. 

“What’s it like?”

He frowned. “What’s what-“

“Having your life be a brand? Designed by Vought?”

Ben’s blinked. If it wasn’t Her asking, he would’ve stormed off with a roar. But that wasn’t some fucking gotcha question, meant to make his head spin and test his temper. She just wanted to know, so she could know Ben. And if that was all She was asking for, fuck him if he wouldn’t give it to Her.

“My job is the brand.” He shrugged. “And Vought is full of fucking pussies, but they do their damn jobs, I do mine, and we all fucking go home. That’s all it is.”

The Vought assholes went home to families, and Ben went home to cold, empty riches, but that wasn’t the point. Ben did his job, and he was fucking good at it, and the brand—Soldier Boy—was the fucking job. Simple as that.

“Do you like it?” 

Her voice was still fucking soft. She was going to goddamn kill him, if She kept fucking caring. If She kept making Ben think about how he fucking loathed it. It was filled with gold and wealth and fucking nothing. All the light was just cameras flashing. All the warmth only stayed on his skin, never sinking into his muscles and organs. All his co-workers were fucking pussy idiots. And that had always been enough. It had always been all he wanted.

Until it wasn’t.

Ben leaned forward, holding Her wide, open gaze. “I like that it got me to you.” He muttered, and that was the goddamn truth. “And you’ve fucking got me, babygirl. I meant it, there wasn’t a damn lady before you. Not like this. And I’ll keep fucking saying that until you get it. Solider Boy might be the brand, might be the job, but I’ll keep it in my pants for another damn year and pick up fucking woodworking if I get you. Understood?”

There was a long moment of silence as She scanned over his face—looking for whatever She needed to find—and Ben felt an itch on his skin and a prickle over his heart. It might be fucking nerves.

He didn’t care for it.

“Understood.” She whispered, and the nerves vanished into some sort of euphoria as She smiled at him. “Do you, um, you want to go? Back to my place?”

Ben’s grin was unrestrained and probably looked a little feral, but thank fucking Christ. He had Her. He didn’t have to keep it in his pants, because he had Her.

And when he stood up, picking Her up into his arms with a squeal and carrying Her out of the restaurant, he made a silent vow.

He wouldn’t give Her a single goddamn reason to ever leave.

And he’d start proving why She should stay right fucking now.

—————————

Ben’s really strong. And you’d known that—it was the whole Soldier Boy brand—but that didn’t stop you from being shocked by how that strength feels wrapped around you. Pressed right up against your body, arms flexing and muscles shifting under his shirt, his chest and shoulders like a rock, but still somehow comfortable and warm.

You’d like to stay here, in Ben’s arms and against his body, for maybe the rest of your life. It feels safe, but not like a cage. Like a blanket or shield around you, promising that harm wouldn’t even dare to look at you, because only a fool would try to attack something that belongs to Ben.

Fuck.

You don’t belong to Ben. Not in the way you’d want to mean it, where it’s your heart out of your chest and into his hands, and you never have to worry about it again. Never have to worry about anything again. 

It doesn’t help that it feels like you could belong to him. Like if you asked, he would keep you here. Maybe he’d carry you everywhere. Maybe he’d offer his heart back.

He won’t. You can hear his heart pounding, when you turn your head and press your ear to his skin. It’s loud and powerful, and you’d really like for it to move in a rhythm with yours. But you don’t know if you could keep up, and you’re terrified to learn that he wouldn’t slow down.

But your lips graze his neck when you breathe, and you could swear he shudders. That his grip on you tightens, and a low grunt escapes his throat that has nothing to do with walking to the car.

You’re too far gone. This is exactly what you’d been trying to avoid, trying to dodge and weave around with giggles and eye rolls. Belonging to Ben. Making your dumb little heart really believe that he’d care about you in a way that he’d fight for. Falling into him until he’s less taking you, and more being offered to have you. However he’d like. 

And God, if he asks to have you tonight, you’ll say yes. All your previous rules will fly out the window. Rules about waiting a certain number of dates, kissing first before going right into more, or ensuring that—when the sun rises the next morning—you won’t be alone in bed. Rules that would be pointless, because this is Ben and you’ve been dreaming about touching him for a year. He can never know you’ve lost sleep to it. To feeling heat between your legs at just the thought of him, to covering your face with a pillow because just the idea of him was enough to make you scream and moan and wake your roommates up.

Shit. Your roommates. 

You’re going to have to figure out how to justify to them that you will be seeing Ben again, because you hadn’t stopped feeling dizzy and drunk on him for the whole night, and now you’re gone—the last piece of your resistance to his advances gone, your will to not fall in love completely dissolved—and you won’t be coming back until Ben breaks you in half.

That if Ben doesn’t break you—if he chooses to keep you, just you, because for reasons you don’t understand he seems to only want you—but holds you close and stretches tonight into sixty years, you’ll never even bother to try and return.

You don’t know if he’ll want to keep you. He’s placing you in the passenger’s seat with careful movements, but brushing hair from your face with an unreadable expression and restrained hands. He kisses your brow before drawing back up, and he glances at your lips, but he doesn’t touch them. He doesn’t say a word, only closing the door behind him and walking around the hood of the car.

When he drops in the driver’s seat, his hands rest on the wheel, and he stares ahead with a frown. He doesn’t grab the keys from his pocket. He doesn’t speak, or look at you, or move. 

There’s a long and horrible moment when you think he’s done with you. Where everything tastes like ash and dust, and you can feel your body deflating and crumbling. Of course he wouldn’t want you. You’re normal and boring and wouldn’t look right on his arm. You’d fit there—you know you would, because you’d slotted right into him all night like you were meant to be there, and now that will haunt you for the rest of your life—but you wouldn’t dazzle and sparkle and flash. You aren’t a good accessory. You’d cleaned up best you could for this, but your clothing was cheap, your lipstick cheaper, and your hair styled by your own hands. Hands with little bumps on the fingers from writing, that you did your best to keep soft but also ended up dry, because your apartment’s humidifier was broken, and it’s the middle of winter.

You’re nothing horrible. Nothing worse than anyone else. But also normal. So painfully average, just another face that walked on the street. 

Ben should be with someone bright. Someone blinding who wore lipstick that cost as much as that fancy dinner, and clothing that could probably out-sell this car. Someone who had their hair styled by a team, because they were American royalty like Ben was.

Girls like you don’t get to linger in divinity. They don’t get more than a night.

And you might not even get a night. Ben isn’t moving or talking or teasing about how he’s going to touch you, so he might not want to. He might have been trying you on, and now he’s ready to throw you out because he’d realized you didn’t look as good on him as he’d thought you would-

“We’re going to my place.” He grunts, and you blink at him.

“Your place?”

He nods, and finally looks at you. He’s so handsome. You’ve never seen anyone have a face like that. You’d been being dramatic and lovelorn before, thinking of him as divinity, but there couldn’t possibly be another reason for him looking like that.

Untouchable.

Reaching out to touch you.

Ben’s hand cups your face, keeping your gaze trapped on his, and his words are a low rumble that rip through your body like a wildfire. Your skin and heart are ablaze, and you’re completely ruined, and he’s only talking.

“I’m going to touch you, babygirl.” He mutters, and you think you whine. “Going to fucking ruin you.”

This isn’t fair. He looks like he’s about to ask you a question, and you’ll never be able to give an answer that isn’t a breathless plea.

“Ben-“

“But,” he pushes on, smirking as your breathing start to get ragged. “I’m going to have you screaming my name all fucking night, and I’m not interested in having an audience. I fucking love you, but your apartment is goddamn fucking. Dramatic roommates who won’t let me fuck you like you deserve, too goddamn small, and not nearly fucking good enough for you. So come back to my place.”

That’s probably supposed to be a question. Ben’s tone didn’t sound like he was asking—more like ordering, or telling you what was going to happen—but he’s also not starting to car or letting go of your face, so you think he’s waiting for an answer.

It takes a moment, because you’re trapped in his voice, still echoing in your head. 

I fucking love you.

You don’t know if he’s aware he said that. If he is, it doesn’t seem as if he’s about to elaborate.

But he did say it. And he’s not taking it back.

You’re kind of done with testing the waters. With holding yourself back from what you want for the sake of your sanity. 

Sanity that’s already long gone anyway. Razed and wrecked and shaped into the same sound of Ben saying I fucking love you, all while touch you and looking at you and speaking to you, and you alone.

“Okay,” you whisper, and you can’t really imagine saying anything else.

Ben nods, his hand moves to your thigh, and you can feel something changing inside of you. His touch is so measured—so carefully controlled with a big, rough hand that kneads mindlessly at your skin—and it’s igniting your whole body up in a way you’ve never felt. It’s like lighting in your blood and water on your skin, soothing and electric and so completely consuming. 

He really is consuming. You’ve never met anyone whose very presence devours your every thought and nerve until you’re glowing from inside. Even if you weren’t being branded by his touch on your body, weren’t drowning in his cologne, you’d still only be thinking about Ben. He’d said you looked hot, and under his cannon-like attention—loud and powerful and demanding—you’d really felt like you were. He’d said there were no other girls, and you believed him because you could feel the words over your bones. He’d said he’d kill the president for you, and it had oddly been the most romantic thing any had ever told you.

Ben’s life was Solider Boy. Soldier Boy’s brand was America. 

He didn’t want to be Solider Boy with you. He didn’t care about Soldier Boy for you. 

And you’d never tell him to kill the president, but if you do get to ask for anything—just one thing for Ben to give you, and only you, because you asked for it—it would be that he keeps doing that. Keeps being consuming. Keeps looking at you like you’re all the stars in the sky, when you’re the one getting lost.

Because you’re so lost. You’d promised yourself you’d be careful, but now you’re lost in Ben, and you’d never chose to be anywhere else. Not when his hand on your thigh is a promise of being a master and filling free time. You’d love to waste free time with him. You’d love to get more and more lost in this odd sense of given security—Ben is here, and he’s built like a tank that’s designed to keep you from horror—for the rest of your life.

And you’d think that was dramatic, if Ben didn’t keep looking at you like that. Like you’re a rare treasure he’d found buried underground, and he’s going to make you shine.

You’re already shining. Just that look—full of promises and stoic, firm care–makes you sit a little taller in your seat, warmth sparking and pooling in your gut like an oil meeting a match.

The explosion is going to wreck you. 

You’re more than ready for it.

Ben parks outside of a shocking normal apartment complex, helps you out of the car, and half covers your body with his—his face bent down and hidden, you barely a shadow below him—before moving you inside. 

This is a normal building. You’re awestruck, how average this place is. You’ve heard about Ben’s house, but it’s further upstate. You’ve been to one of his apartments for a Vought party—and ended up mostly curled near him, but not against him, on a couch—but that was across the city. And this place didn’t have the marble floors and doorman and oil paintings. It was all stained brown carpet and small mailboxes, walking up concrete stairs and passing worn welcome mats.

“Ben?” You lean back to look at him, and he seems vigilant. Watching every corner you turn and tensing at every creek of the building.

He grunts, his eyes falling to yours—something that’s always rough behind them not softening, but becoming honed, and aimed all at you—and you take it as a cue to continue. 

“Where are we?”

Ben lets out a long, heavy breath, stopping in front of another, boring, generic door. “My apartment.”

“Oh.” You look around the hall, then back to Ben. He’s started to fidget with the keys. You didn’t hear him wrong. 

You’re still incredibly confused, right up until Ben pushes the door open.

This is more what you expected. Plush sofas and polished chairs, a glass table and expensive looking art on the walls. It’s a little different that his other apartment—there seems to be more personal things scattered across the room, bits of Ben left out on the side table and shelves—but not at all in line with the rest of this building.

And Ben must see all your questions on your face, because he leans down to whisper in your ear, his arms wrapped around your stomach and light stubble brushing on your skin. 

“Bought this place off the books.” He starts to guide you further inside, his hands rubbing slow, mind-numbing circles on your hips. “Place for myself, when I don’t want anyone intruding or interfering with my shit.”

You swallow. “Does anyone else know-“

“Just me.” He mutters, starting to kiss a very distracting line up your throat. “Not one damn pussy at Vought knows this place exists. Landlord thinks I’m a reclusive artist or some shit. Like I said, sweetheart. My place.”

Ben’s place. Just his place. For his shit. That he doesn’t want intruded on. 

It takes you longer than you’d like to piece it all together. In your defense, you’re a little overwhelmed—in all your wildest fantasies about Ben looking at you and meaning it, you still hadn’t manage to imagine this—and Ben’s not really helping your thought process at all. One hand has moved down to pull and squeeze your upper thigh, the other is still keeping you pinned to his chest, and his mouth has started to wander. Grow bolder. Wet, sloppy kisses over your collarbone and along your jaw, sucking a small bruise behind your ear and making you a little dizzy. 

But you slot it all into place.

And there’s not a thing in the universe that could save you now. Fuck, if anyone tried, you’d probably punch them.

“You’re serious about me.” You mumble, and Ben hums, the sound echoing around your head like a fucked up, love drunk lullaby.

“About fucking time you got it.” He mutters, his hands sliding up to grip your throat. It’s a light touch, barely any pressure at all, but Ben doesn’t need to be firm. He tilts your head slightly back, and you go all the way. Leaning on his shoulder, holding his darkened gaze with your own, slightly dazed one, smiling at him like an idiot.

You can be an idiot for this. For Ben, you’ll be a fucking fool, because you can be. There’s nothing else to do here. Nothing to work for. He’s won. You’re his. 

All that’s left to do fall down. 

Ben smirks at you, that hand on your thigh starting to drift further and further between your legs, and you don’t think he’s going to make this easy on you.

“Do you know how much I’ve fucking dreamt about this?” Ben drawls, his lips brushing over the corner of your mouth. It’s light, and taunting, and in perfect time with his fingers. Playing with the hem of your panties, knuckles occasionally bumping on your clit and making your knees weak, all while he continues talking. “I’ve spent fucking months working out exactly how I want to fuck you, babygirl. Thought about how fucking good you’d feel, wrapped around my cock, how pretty you’d sound screaming my name, how fucking beautiful you’d look all fucked out and wrecked under me, or against me, or fucking riding me. But nothing,” Ben nips at your ear, and you think you squeak. “Could’ve gotten me ready for this. Look so fucking gorgeous just here. Hardly ever touched you yet and you look like a dream.”

You’re going to lose your fucking mind. Ben’s hand has moved to cup you over your underwear, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding shamelessly onto him.

“Christ, sweetheart, already fucking soaked just from dinner.” Ben looks awestruck, his lips parted and breath hot on your skin. It just makes you more desperate. “You like it when I talk dirty? Like it when I tell you how much I fucking want you? How much I need you?”

You moan, nodding like a bobble-head, and he chuckles.

“Tell me what you want,” Ben says your name, pressing his thumb over your clothed clit, and you definitely squeaked that time. 

“You, want you-“

“How do you want me. Get specific, babygirl, want to hear-“

“I want you with me,” you gasp, rolling your hips in search of any friction at all, whining when his grip on you tightens. “Want to have you Ben, fuck- Want all of you-“

You might have ascended. Ben cuts you off with a strangling, heavy, starved kiss, and if it wasn’t the most carnal thing you’d ever experienced you’d have thought it was holy. It’s invasive and rough—his tongue down your throat and his teeth nipping at your lower lip, swallowing your moan when he rips off you panties and shoves one, broad finger into your cunt—but there’s something softer behind it. His hand stays on your neck, but only to tip you further back and grant him more access, never tightening enough for you to really feel it. Your legs give out as he starts to finger-fuck you at a brutal, unforgiving pace, but he also keeps you upright and steady. 

Ben pulls you apart on just his hand—palm rolling on your clit, fingers taunting and teasing on the deepest, most sensitive place inside of you—and he never breaks the kiss. You reach behind your body, wrapping an arm around his neck and running your fingers through his hair, and when you tug it, he groans. The sound moves through your whole body, fueling every bit of your arousal, melting you further into Ben’s body as he picks up his speed. He keeps a rough pace and firm pattern, drags your right up to the edge until you’re writhing against him and scratching hopelessly at his arm in a slight plea for more. You need more, you’re already inhaling him and filled with him but it’s not enough. 

When he finally crooks his fingers inside of you, everything goes white. It’s only Ben sucking on your upper lip and pumping his fingers through your orgasm, only his pounding heartbeat near your ear and ragged breath over your face.

He’s hard. Pressing right up against your ass, and hard, and big. He’s fucking huge. 

You need him. You need him now. 

“Ben,” you tug on his hair again—your voice breathy and weak as your head spins—and he hums against your skin, that sinful fucking mouth sucking small marks along your jaw. “More. Need more, please-“

“Patience,” he mutters your name, and you moan, shaking your head. “I’ve been waiting too fucking long to take this slow. Got fucking months to make up for. You’re not going to be able to walk for a goddamn year when I’m done with you, babygirl, so calm the fuck down, and take what I give you. Got it?”

You nod a little stupidly, and Ben draws back from your neck with a smirk, teasing along your pussy with those same, sinful fingers before pulling them away and—before you can even whine from the loss of him—bringing them to his mouth. Licking your arousal off his skin, never breaking your gaze.

You can’t be patient. It’s an impossible thing to ask, when he’s toying with you like this. When he looks like that—so fucking satisfied from the taste of you and cocky when you moan from only the sight of him—and wraps his arm back around your waist, keeping you steady as he kisses you again. It should be illegal to be this good a kisser. It’s like a drug right into your bloodstream, making everything just pleasure and Ben. He tastes like wine and smoke and you. That’s you on his tongue.

You’re going to fly out of your skin. 

“Please.” You gasp, tugging on his hair again until that same groan from before rumbles in his chest. “Ben, please-“

Ben squeezes your throat once before dragging it away, prying your hand off his head and kissing your knuckles with a softness that might be worse than the animalistic lust. It’s just a small, tiny second of care—silent, real affection—but you’re still going to go mad from it.

“You want my cock, babygirl?” He asks the question with the most smug grin you’ve ever seen. Like he knows there’s not a world where you’ll say anything but yes. “Want me to fuck you nice and dumb, take good fucking care of my girl?”

His girl. You’ve put it together that he really somehow means that, but it doesn’t change how the words are electric in your body. Your legs almost give out just from the sound of Ben’s deep voice saying them.

He tightens his grip around you, grabbing your chin and tilting your head backward. “Not a mind-reader, sweetheart, give me some fucking words-“

“Yes-“

The answer is barely out of your mouth when Ben hauls you off the ground and starts to move, walking into the bedroom and dropping you onto his mattress. This is Ben’s mattress. He’s slept on it before, and the sheets smell like him and have touched his bare skin.

You’re going to touch his bare skin. He’s ripping clothing off like it’s paper as you crawl backwards, and you barely have time to remove your dress—let alone take him in—before he’s prowling over you, his eyes gleaming and sparkling in a way that makes you start to drool.

He’s completely naked. You want to see him, see all that impossible, powerful glory that’s about to wrap around you, but you don’t get the chance before Ben starts to leave wet, open-mouthed kisses up your legs and your vision blurs with pleasure. He’s so good at this, and you’re not at all surprised, but it still makes every fantasy and wet dream you’ve had feel like a crude, faded sketch. The real thing is a work of art. You’d been joking when you’d called this his hobby, but he’s playing you like an instrument and molding you like clay. He finds his way between your legs, and stays there just long enough to work you into a frenzy. Broad licks up your pussy and flicks of his tongue over your clit, sucking the already burning nerve bundle into his mouth and letting his teeth graze against it until you’re grinding up into his face.

Then he’s moving on, leaving you dangling right on the edge and kissing over your stomach. Up your body until he drags you into a long, heavy kiss, silencing your every needy, high plea for release. He won’t let you have release. He’s kissing you far too passionately and firmly for you to do anything but melt further into him, but God you’re burning up from the inside and he won’t even let you move. He had dropped his waist to pin you down to the mattress, and you can feel him poking again your inner thigh, and fuck-

Ben rises up with a grin, and there’s the awestruck look again. He can’t keep looking at you like that. It’s going to kill you.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” He mutters your name, and you were wrong. That’s going to kill you. How sincere and blunt his words are, like they’re pure fact and not at all subjective. “Never seen a goddamn thing like it.” He rolls his hips against you, and you whine. “Look like a fucking angel.”

You want to tell him that he looks better, or at least thank him, but all you can remember how to do is moan, squirming a little beneath him as he chuckles. 

“You got something you need, sweetheart?”

He rolls his hips again, and your eyes almost roll back in your head as you nod. 

Ben clicks his tongue, leaning back down to speak against your lips. “Need you to fucking say it, baby.”

“Fuck me.” You gasp, because you’re past dignity and dancing around things. “Fuck me, Ben, please, fuck me-“

You yelp as he rolls you over, hauling you up onto his lap and impaling you on his cock in one movement. And when he starts to move—grabbing your hips and guiding them in a smooth rhythm with his thrusts—you know he’s not going to stop proving you wrong. He cares, and this is higher and better than any heaven you could’ve—and had—imagined. This is what’s going to kill you.

Because you’ve thought about this far too often, imagined this exact moment countless times, but it’s still more than you know how to comprehend. Ben’s splitting you open and bumping against all the right places inside of you, the angle pushing him so deep into your cunt there’s not a second where you aren’t on fire. He keeps alternating between wild, demanding bites—hickeys on your throat and shoulders—and gentle, hot kisses on your lips that swallow your every soft moan and whine. Your arms wrap around his neck as your try to drag him impossibly closer, and he smirks, his hold on your hips tightening as he starts to drill up into you.

It’s brutal and sudden and rough—his skin slapping on yours and his gaze burning right into your body—and if Ben wasn’t holding you up, you would’ve collapsed. You might be saying his name, might be begging for more, but you can’t hear it over a fogging haze of Ben, talking so dirty you’re surprised his voice alone isn’t bring you to release.

“Look so fucking hot, bouncing on my cock, such pretty fucking tits, fucking tight and warm, goddamn soaked for me-“

“Fuck,” you try to grind down onto him, but he’s too strong. All you can do is kiss on his jaw and pray he’ll give you more. “Feels good, so good, please-“

“Who’s fucking you good?” He demands, nipping on your lower lip and guiding you in a circle on his dick, smirking as you whimper from the sensation. “Fucking scream it, sweetheart, tell the whole goddamn world who’s fucking you-“

“Ben!“ You almost scream, and you’d be embarrassed if it didn’t immediately earn you another long kiss and groan of your name against your skin.

“There you go,” he mutters, snaking one hand around your body to rub at your clit. “Good girl, feel so fucking good squeezing my cock, so fucking needy-“

“Ben,” Your brow drops to his, and your nails scratching at his neck and shoulder blades. “Please, wanna cum, please-“

He cuts you off with a searing, almost violent kiss, growling down your throat. “Since you asked so fucking pretty,” he jerks his hips up in a rough, blinding movement, pinching your clit at the same time. “Cum for me, babygirl.”

This orgasm crashes through you like a tidal wave. Springing in your gut and washing your body in a burning but comfortable heat, filling your vision with stars and wracking your body with a pleasure you didn’t know you were capable of feeling. This is better than heaven. This is Ben kissing you through your high and still dragging you higher, rubbing his thumb around your clit and palming at your breast as you scream into his mouth.

And you don’t come down. Ben doesn’t stop, and you’re not sure if this is just a million smaller orgasms exploding like fireworks in your body, or if he’s trapped you in an infinite state of bliss, but the orgasm doesn’t end.

And Ben’s not done with you. 

He’s getting rougher. He’s still hard inside of you, starting to throb and lose rhythm with his movements, and you barely have the mind to gasp or whimper when he rolls you back under him, pulls out of you for a brief second, and flips you around onto your stomach. There’s a brief, cold moment where he’s gone—still hard against your thighs but no longer caging you against him—and then he drags your ass into the air, pushes himself back into your dripping, oversensitive pussy, and starts to hammer into you with a pace you can only describe as feral. His balls slap on your clit as he hits somehow deeper inside of you, groaning behind you as you grind back into him, and you’re still cumming. You don’t now know how that’s possible. You didn’t know your body could do that. 

You don’t really know anything but Ben right now. Thrusts becoming short and uneven, draping himself back over you to kiss at your shoulder and throat and behind your ear, pinching and rolling a nipple between two rough fingers, and groaning right in your ear in a way that just keeps everything going. 

Ben grabs your chin right as his hips stutter, turning your head to roar your name against your mouth as he cums. It finally brings you down—when he’s spent inside of you and pinning you to the mattress in his warmth—and you like out a soft, happy sound of content when he kisses your swollen lips with a gentler, easier pressure. It seems like he’s kissing you just to kiss you. Touching you just to touch you.

Laying with you just to lay with you.

“Christ on a fucking cross,” he mutters in your ear, pressing another small kiss to your cheek. “You’re so fucking good, sweetheart. Never going to go a week without this pussy again, best thing I’ve ever fucking felt.”

You smile, craning your neck back to look at him, and you’ve barely started to move before Ben’s flipping you one last time, keeping you caged between his body and the mattress.

And he’s grinning at you. A powerful, wide grin that would look strange on his face if it didn’t feel so natural. You rarely see Ben really grin—all joy and teeth and something unbridled and almost pure—at all, his expression usually rough smirks and more taunting smiles, but this is just Ben, grinning at you. 

And he looks like a human. He’s sweaty, short hair sticking up at odd angles and eyes a little brighter from his own release, and you really think this could be it. That he could be a life you’d be happy to lead. 

Because Ben’s got you. Outside of how he’d just fucked you within an inch of paradise, he’s also pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, and a longer one to your lips, before moving away to grab a towel and clean the mess he left between your thighs. He’s bringing you water and tucking you right against his body, muttering that you should get some rest before round two, because there will be a round fucking two.

“Ben?” You mumble, and he grunts near your skin in a silent acknowledgment to continue. “What… um, I don’t know what you- what we-“

“We’re together.” He grunts, and you let out a long breath of relief. You hadn’t even had to say the stupid, embarrassing question aloud. “Nobody’s touch you but me, and not one single fucking lady is getting their hands on me but you.”

“Okay.” You hum, wiggling a little further into his hold. “Good.”

Ben chuckled. “Real fucking good, babygirl. You’re going to get spoiled fucking rotten.”

You smile, and you’ll fight that later. You don’t want to become only a doll on a shelf just because Ben’s got you. 

But you also think you have him. And that if you asked for the world he’d try and figure out a way to put it into your hands. That if you demanded he not be an asshole about you continuing to work, he’d grumble but relent.

And you can live with that. 

You can thrive with it.

End Note: Once again saying I really think Ben just needs a cool wife to obsesses over and be violent for and he'd chill out.

If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[newkatzkafe2023]

Could you imagine what the others reaction would be to him being courtnapped and is WILLINGLY staying there? I mean given his abilities he could escape with ease, but just chooses not to unless he has something important to do.

Ohhhhhhhhhh this should be Hilarious🤣🤣

(Lmk Wukong) It's started when mk went to Flower fruit mountain for another training session, but instead he found a empty house. Mk immediately felt something was wrong and was about to call the others, when Wukong finally arrived but something was different about him.

(Mk) MONKEY KING WHERE WERE YOU AND...what are you wearing??🤨

Wukong was wearing new clothes as he walked up to mk and that's when he noticed the various expensive shopping bags, Wukong even had some fancy sunglasses. Mk was shocked and confused as he stared at Wukong

(Lmk Wukong) Oh yeah, I was courtnapped by a beautiful monkey woman a few weeks back, and i learned that she is rich, like seriously rich, she'll make the celestial realm look Poverish😎

The look on Mk's face was priceless, and he highly doubt the others would believe him even if he did tell them 😵

(MKR Wukong) The monk was worried about Wukong, he couldn't find him anywhere not even Pigsy or sandy knew where he was. Another week had passed when Wukong finally showed himself back to the pilgrims came and Fruity flew in the speed of light and hugged his face. The pilgrims were relieved to see him again even Pigsy was happy to see him but...

(Pigsy) MONKEY WHERE WERE YOU?! WE WERE WORRIED SICK!😠

(MKR Wukong) WELL MY BAD, I GOT MARRIED A FEW WEEKS BACK SO SORRY SIDETRACKED 😡

The pilgrims jaw dropped at what Wukong had said and soon they saw a very beautiful monkey woman with an air of elegance and wealth. The pilgrims even saw Wukong being Affectionate of you shocking them further. Though Fruity immediately loved you and began a beautiful bond.

(HIB Wukong) Wukong had came home to the children. Pigsy was definitely worried and had some rather intrusive questions but Wukong couldn't blame him he was gone for a few weeks. Wukong sighed and started to explain exactly what happened...

(HIB Wukong) I was courtnapped a few weeks back And I have a wife now😮‍💨

(Pigsy) EXCUSE ME WHAT?!🤯

Luier became a grenade of questions about you, Silly girl's was excited as well happy for her father. Meanwhile pigsy was shell-shocked at the news he received learning that his friend had gotten hitched and will soon be introduced to his new wife.

(NR Wukong) Li and Su were worried about him for a little bit, they haven't heard from his hyperactive behind for few weeks. Li was just about to go see if he could find Wukong until they saw a fancy car pull up by the garage. When the young couple walked put their jaw dropped at the sight. Wukong was in the most expensive suit they had ever seen him wear come out the fancy car, but ran to the other side and soon they saw a young monkey woman climb out the car holding Wukong's arm.

(Wukong) HEY YOU TWO, YOU MISS ME???😁

Li and Su were speechless at the sight, but snapped out of it and began to scold and Interrogate him for answers and for scarying them like that.

(Wukong) I'm sorry guys, I just wanted to introduce my Fiance Y/n, me and her are currently planning our wedding as of now���

Li and Su froze looking at you both in shock....that announcement just raised Further questions😦

(Netflix Wukong) Lin was immediately worried when Wukong disappeared from the village. She asked around if anyone had seen him, even ask Dragon king if he happened to see Wukong but nothing. She was super worried but soon she and Dragon king were invited to a giant fancy Mansion, making there jaw drop seeing it up close. Soon they spotted Wukong but he looked different, he had a little bit more Bulk and he was cleaner and looked so happy over all. He sat on a picnic blank with a female monkey as you both had lunch together.....

(Wukong) OH LIN DRAGON KING, COME MEET MY NEW WIFE Y/N!!!😆

Lin and Dragon king felt like their heads were gonna explode, Wife??? That means Wukong is married.....And his new wife is a adorable monkey girl who clearly has alot of money. This should be interesting

(BMW Wukong) Rumors are going around in heaven about Wukong's Sudden but very noticeable absence. The jade emperor with his Anxiety and habit of over thinking sent Erlang to go look for Wukong and see What his latest scheme is. Though what Erlang wasn't expecting was to find a giant mansion on the mountain, and many of the subjects in cute treehouses and playing on build playgrounds. Erlang was majorly confused until he saw something he can never unsee

(Erlang)(cover his eyes) Ahhhhhhhhh why?!😫

You and Wukong were sunbathing nude and was about to get it on with you, but Erlang just had to come here bothering Him

(Erlang) UGH MONKEY YOU NEED TO PUT ON SOME PANTS, and Second of all what are you up too and who is that woman

(Wukong) Well, I was about to give my wife some One on one loving until you came an interrupted

(Erlang) YOU HAVE A WIFE NOW?!?!?!

Oh no the monkey king has a Queen now. Everybody's worse fears have been realized😨

(Destined one) Bajie was running around looking for the destined one for a few weeks now, but to no advil. He even asked around to see if anyone has seen a Selectively mute monkey walking around, until he was told that D.O was living it up somewhere else and that's Bajie finally spotted the destined one.

(Bajie) THERE YOU ARE MONKEY,DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK I WAS...WORRYING IF SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, WHY I HAVE HALF A MIND TOO......

The destined one immediately lifted his paw to show a Ridiculously large engagement ring, and that's when he noticed you playing Chinese checkers with D.O. It didn't take long for Bajie to put two and two together and learned that he Now has a niece in law.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG💒

[exorciqsm-0]

Your lips, my lips >ᵥ_ᵥ<

Characters as different tropes

Characters-Eren Yeager, Monkey D. Luffy, Itadori Yuji

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EREN YEAGER - academic rivals

You were just about finished presenting your presentation in front of the class. You worked really hard on it and showed. from your pretty and organized slides, to your complex topics and information. Your presentation made everyone else’s look like shit. “Thank you for listening!” Sounds of clapping filled room. Then a hand went up. That ear to ear grin on your face, slowly turned to a frown as you realized who it was.

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“Teacher I don’t get it.” There he was, as laid back as ever. You sigh “Well what did you not get?” You asked. “Your whole presentation.” You wondered what he got out of doing this. Every single damn time you present or even when you answer a question, here he go with his annoying self.

“Who knows maybe you’re just to dumb to understand..” you mumble under your breath. “(Y/n) don’t be mean.” Your teacher being right beside you heard what you said. You roll your eyes. “Yeah (y/n) don’t be mean to little olé’ me.” He pouted. “I don’t understand how you could’ve not gotten it. There is a whole summary at the end.” You point to the board. “Maybe you just suck at writing.” Eren shrugs. “That’s enough Eren.” Your teacher finally decides to say something.

“It’s not my Problem that you’re dumb and have trouble understanding things. Maybe you should take a lower class Eren.” You glared at him.

“Or Maybe you could help me understand it then.”

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MONKEY D. LUFFY- love at first sight

Today was really boring. On days like these, there weren’t a lot of customers so things were pretty slow. You’re a server at a pretty well known restaurant called “The all blue.” And you’re bored out your mind. As you were day dreaming about what you were gonna do once You clocked out for the night, a group of 8 people walked in. You’re attention naturally gravitated towards them especially the one with black curly hair.

You couldn’t stop staring at him. It’s like he has some sort of power. The power in question being able to make you feel..weird but in a good way. This “power.” Really does have you in a chokehold because when he looked back, you were still unable to divert you eyes. (Girl get them shits checked out🤦🏾‍♀️) it’s ok though because it seems like he was going through the same thing.

“Oh so now you’re quiet?!? Answer me Luffy!!” The ginger woman next to him shakes him back and forth very aggressively. So that was his name ‘Luffy..’ a smiled formed on your face but it quickly dropped when you realized you still have a job to do.

“What are you even lookin-“ A man with blonde hair moves his face towards Luffy. He confused expression turned into a teasing one. “Oh?” He continues.

Once they were seated, you gathered the courage to go over and take their order. Hands Shaking as you walked closer and closer. “Hi I’m (y/n)! I’ll be taking your order! What would you like?” You put your work voice on. Everyone went around the table and when it finally got to Luffy who was still staring at you. “Luffy?” The black haired woman next to him nudge’s him. “This lovely server doesn’t have all day.” You blushed. Both at her comment and at the fact that Luffy couldn’t take his big doe eyes off you. “Excuse me..Luffy? What would you like this evening..?” You Look down at your notebook.

…

“You.”

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ITADORI YUJI - obsessed ex bf

For every other day now, you have been receiving gifts. First it was a bouquet of flowers. Next it was jewelry. And the most recent being a really pretty pair of shoes. At first you wondered who was sending you all of this but it was obvious. It was you ex boyfriend Yuji.

You decided to confront him about this on facetime. After two rings he answered.

“Hi (y/n)!” He grins as he looks from what could only be a tv to the camera. “Hey itadori.” His Cheshire smile quickly faded at the use of his last name. It use to be ‘yuji’, ‘baby’, ‘yuyu’, or even ‘pookie Wookiee’. “I have a question… is it you that’s sending me all this stuff.” You show the bouquet and shoes. “No….” He was obviously lying. “Do you not like ‘em..”

“That’s not it. It’s just…” you look back at the gifts. “Why are you sending me these.. Itadori we broke up..” “first off, stop call me itadori. It’s making me feel weird.” He pouts. “And second..”

“Can we talk in person..? this doesn’t feel right to talk about on the phone..”

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A/n: 𐙚🧸ྀི- if you guys I want I can expand on these and turn these into longer fics 😚

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[mjrtaurus]

Crocodile was very, very lost at this moment in time.

Physically he knew where he was: he was seating a dinner table, eating said dinner with Dragon and his in-laws.

In fact this whole trip was to meet his in-laws.

Well yes, he had technically met Garp dozens of times in Warlord meetings but those barely count and until recently he was under the impression that his mother-in-law had passed on.

So when Dragon put the opportunity out there, to sit and have dinner with his parents, Crocodile had perked up in interest.

He had methodically planned everything down to the last detail: from his suit (freshly dry cleaned and pressed, sprayed generously but not excessively in his favourite cologne) to the gift he had brought for the apparently not deceased (flowers were so blasé, he had come with an Eastern Lily Cactus in tow).

He had even made sure to acquire a well aged bottle of whiskey, suited to the Vice Admiral's taste exactly, thanks to his contacts at the Baratie.

He was a careful man. He measures 3 times before he cuts with a single practiced swing. He was a stellar business man, charming as all hell and damn good with his money. He was going to win this dinner.

(Never mind the little voice in his head that sounded too much like his lover telling that a dinner/first impression is not something you can win. He knew that already! Let him have his moment of hyperbole!)

But his cigar had been sent on a one way sea voyage trip, his fine clothes soaked through with sweat while helping firewood and doused in dirt from assisting Dragon in the garden.

He had been given some version of ‘shovel talk’ from that was both way too late and way too graphic, laced with cartoon-ish level threats to his safety if even the thought of breaking Dragon's heart crossed his mind. And to top it all off, he had gotten into an argument because apparently Garp still had an issue with his son (the criminal) being with yet another criminal. Said argument reached its end with Crocodile blurted out “Everyone in your family has either been a criminal or is still currently a criminal. That pillar of moral high ground you believe you’re atop of has eroded to such a point that I am resisting the urge to crane my neck down.”

(Not his proudest moment but he swore he heard a laugh before it was quickly disguised as a cough.)

So here he sat, in borrowed clothes (he was so certain these pants were…polyester but for his sanity he refused to check), staring down at the delicious spread in front of him and the sounds of clinking utensils and light chatter surrounded at least 3 of his senses.

He had realized a few things at all once.

1. He was woefully unprepared for a Monkey D Family dinner.

2. Dragon looked like he wanted to drown himself in his soup, he might just join him.

3. He definitely needs to get the recipes for these dishes, Gabriel and the boys would love them.

Crocodile is a man that’s all about image. Always has been. He’s fashioned a grand persona to hide the flaws. He wears a mask of stoicism, biting sarcasm, and vicious calm to hide the fact that he is still a deeply insecure and wounded man.

And Urpi? She sees right through it. She thinks it’s ill-fitting. She knows he will never be able to be comfortable- truly comfortable- like this.

Dragon had told her that he was a guarded man, and she believed him with all her heart. But to see it in the flesh, to see this man who held her son’s heart looking like he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was trying to convince her that he had his shit together? Oh, she couldn’t have that. Nobody deserved that.

The evening comes around, and she sends Dragon and Garp to tend to the snails (there are a lot of them this season, so there should be plenty of time for her and Crocodile to talk).

“You don’t have to hide around us, dear. I know it’s easier said than done but… there’s nobody here that you need to impress. This is a family to be a part of, not a competition to win.” And she can tell the precise moment that the cool mask cracks. For a split second, he looks threatened, and then he looks skittish.

“Take whatever time you need, dear. Family waits for family. In the meantime, come pick out some recipes you and the boys might like so I can copy them down for you.”

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Mother-Mother River Phoenixeclipse Jttw AU

The group passes by the Mother-Mother River. Macaque fights with himself and Wukong helps him to decide on a bad decision. Phoenix is oblivious to their bad ideas thinking they see her as a simple friend.

“Wow. What a surprise. Another fucking river!” Wukong yelled angrily. He could barely believe that he was still on this dumb mission.

“Wukong please don’t be mad,” Phoenix spoke up, they had just convinced him to come back again she really didn’t want him to run away again.

Oh, that’s right. Wukong stared at Phoenix for a moment before huffing, she was the reason that they were staying. If it hadn’t been for her damned shield than they could just take her back home without having to stay. It would be so easy, just to grab her and take her back to Flower Fruit Mountain.

He let out an exadurated sigh as he followed closely behind her. He should have just trapped her on the mountain last time she came over. She would have gotten over the Monk’s death eventually. The thought crossed his mind again, it was such a lovely dream. Unfortunately one that would have to wait until he found a way to break that damned shield.

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes.

“Brother monkey please calm down. We need to be resilient until we reach the Buddha,” Sandy spoke up with a shout.

Wukong just rolled his eyes again, the river demon was far too cheerful for his tastes. Turning he was about to start ranting again when he noticed his mate standing a ways back staring intently at the river. Curious he jumped back over to Macaque. He looked him over noticing how his eyes hadn’t left the water.

“Moon~ is something wrong??” He asked cautiously, if something was wrong then that was never a good sign.

“… Don’t drink that water,” was the only thing said. Wukong was confused but shrugged as they finally reached the bank. They were far enough back that no one else heard them.

On the river bank the group noticed a boat. Wukong stared at it for a while but after seeing it was a normal mortal woman he shrugged. He didn’t care to know why this woman was doing a man’s job and wasn’t going to pry. He was much more concerned with the way his Moon continued to stare at the water. His eyes dilated and his tail lashed back and forth, while his hands were clenched into fists while he hugged himself.

“Does anyone need a ride?” The woman asked with a warm smile.

“That would be great actually,” Phoenix spoke up with a grin.

Wukong examined the way that Macaque’s eyes snapped towards their soon to be bride when she spoke. The way his tail puffed up and the way his gaze snapped between the water and her. Something was up, and he was going to figure it out.

“Moon~ care to explain your nerves??” He whispered leaning against his mate’s ears.

The moment their eyes met, Wukong knew that something was brewing in his head. Some sort of plan that had him excited and desperate. What that plan was however was beyond him. Whatever the plan was, was probably fantastic if it was from his beloved Moon though.

“…” he didn’t respond turning away again causing Wukong to frown. He must have been really deep in thought.

>>><<< 

Deep in thought he was, Macaque knew what the river did. The Mother Mother River. It was right in front of them, it was right there. All he had to do was mix in some DNA from him and Wukong and then… the very thought made him drool.

Fuck, she would look so cute, nice and round with their cubs. So, so cute and delicate. It would be all the more reason to stay safe and protected on Flower Fruit Mountain. Where she was safe and provided for. Where she could raise their cubs happily. Where she couldn’t escape their grasp.

The thoughts pounded in his head. It was wrong, it would be so wrong to do that to her. She deserved to choose when she wanted cubs and Macaque was more than willing to wait for such a time.

But… it was right there. She could have their cubs growing in the next few months. They would have his Sun’s beautiful golden eyes. They would have her pretty brown hair. They would have his six ears. They would be so small, so cute, so- perfect.

He’s wanted cubs since before the attack on heaven. Both he and Wukong have wanted cubs for a long time. The thought that not only would they have cubs but their sweet merciful flame being the one to carry them. It sent him spiraling with a selfish desire.

It would stake their claim onto her. She could hate them for it. She would be theirs. She was theirs. But it could hurt her. The thought of hurting her gave him a feeling of disgust for not only the idea but himself for actually thinking about it. It could break her trust in them forever.

They had already slept together before though. It’s not as if she’d know that it was the water that did it. It could have just been that night, when they had gotten drunk. Of course she had been such a cute and flirty drunk.

So many thoughts flew through his head as he tried to tell himself that it was a bad idea. She wasn’t pregnant, she would have already had a few symptoms surely. It was such a long time ago. She would surely know that it wasn’t from that night. Unless… it wasn’t as if stone monkeys breed that often. There was no studies that showed how long it took for one to be with child.

Fuck!! He was thinking about it again! All it would take was one, tiny sip. Then she would be well and thoroughly claimed as theirs. The image of Phoenix draped in their silk sheets, heavily pregnant and barefoot in their nest. The very thought had Macaque purring, she would look so perfect.

*Snap* *Snap* *Snap*

“Macaque!” Phoenix suddenly yelled causing Macaque to flinch in shock.

His face burned when he noticed everyone staring at him. They were waiting for him to get on the boat. He grumbled a ‘sorry,’ as he jumped up onto the boat right next to Phoenix who was looking at him with a worried expression. As the boat began to move he felt her hand get laid onto his forehead.

“You’re not overheating,” she frowned, the worried expression not going away.

She was so precious. Seeing him concentrated and she was worried about him. It almost made him flush, but he refused to let that happen.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled forcing himself to pull away from her.

“Are you sure?” She questioned; her face still covered with worry.

Oh what he would do to keep her by his side. It would be so easy, all he had to do was… his eyes glanced at the water again. She wouldn’t suspect a thing, all she would know would be that she was gaining weight. How cute and perfect she would look, to see her shuffling around not only their nest but also just hanging around the island. Not out of their sight of course, she would have to be protected at all costs.

Feeling her hand on his shoulder he jumped back a bit. He needed to get those thoughts out of his head, they were much too dangerous to think about- But she would be bound to them not only as a mate but as the mother of their child, no their children. They could have a whole tribe of cubs, they would protect them, love them, feed them… She would breast feed them of course, while she grew another one.

No! They would want to space it out, wouldn’t want too many cubs at once. The first one from the water and after that they could woo her until she was sure not to reject them. If she had their child, she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to keep them away of course. She was far more likely to stay by their side, after all she wouldn’t be able to protect them alone. She would need help, their help~

“Hey! Moon! You’re distracted again,” Wukong hollered at him with an annoyed tone.

Just like that his fantasy popped and he was forcing himself to calm down again. The whole plan was stupid, it would be better to woo her some other way. Like courting her properly, with gifts, showing off their skills, providing food for her, scent marking her, court-napping her~

At the thought of that he felt Phoenix try to shake him and immediately he jumped up and into his Sun’s cloud. Wukong nearly fell off of it in shock as Macaque cuddled into him. Surprised at the turn of events but didn’t reject his mate from the cuddles. It would be even better if their flame was cuddled with them but the last time, he tried that he got decked in the face. Probably because he had scooped her up without revealing what he was doing, but that was besides the point.

“Must be in a bad mood,” Pigsy grunted with annoyance.

“You think?” Phoenix asked, looking up at the duo on the cloud. That was too bad, hopefully he would feel better soon.

“Moon what are…” His words were cut off when his mate whispered in his ear.

“The river below us is the mother-mother river… it makes those who drink it become with child,” Macaque whispered and all at once Wukong knew what his mate had been thinking.

Oh, that would be a perfect plan. The very thought of their sweet flame ripe and round with THEIR child, proving to everyone just who she belonged to would be perfect. Why did he look so nervous and worried about this? Of course he would agree to this plan. To have Phoenix brought back home not only as their mate but as the mother of their unborn child would be a dream come true.

>>><<< 

“Phoenix are you alright?” Tripitaka asked as he glanced at Phoenix with a worried expression across his face.

“Huh? Oh yes, I’m fine,” She laughed waving her hand.

“Are you sure my dear?” The boat maiden asked her gaze soft and kind.

“Huh? Oh yes. I’m perfectly fine. I was just worried about my friends is all,” they were friends, right?

They had stopped trying to attack the group a long time ago and started showering her in gifts trying to be friendly. She honestly wasn’t sure why they insisted on getting her gifts when they were just trying to be friends, but she also knew that they had an odd way of expressing emotions. So of course they were friends. She could say that confidently, after all why else would they had gotten so pissed off when someone tried to court her?

That had happened right after… that night. Her face flushed at the memory, but she quickly pushed it away. Neither Macaque nor Wukong had mentioned it again and they had all been drunk. It meant nothing, it was just a drunken mistake was all.

“We’ve arrived. I wish you well on your travels,” The maiden said with a slight bow as the group quickly got off of the boat.

Phoenix glanced up at the monkey kings who were still sitting half on top of each other on the cloud. She couldn’t help but smile, they must have just wanted some alone time. She was glad that they were so happy together. She turned around without much thought unaware of the argument that was being spoken between the two simians above them.

The group continued walking for a while. There was a town up ahead not too far from the river and they would make it far before night fell. It would be the perfect place to rest for a while, at least that’s what Phoenix thought. She just hoped that the monk in front of her thought the same thing.

Up above her there was a tension between the two monkey demons.

“Wukong I want to as much as you but it’s wrong,” Macaque growled lowly.

“But she will look so beautiful when she’s with our child. Just imagine it,” He whispered back sending a shiver down the six eared monkey’s spine.

“But we don’t even know if she wants cubs,” Mac tried to persuade his mate, he shouldn’t have said anything. Especially when all of his reasons not to were easily deflected.

“You and me both know that she wants cubs. Not to mention she was so good with the baby monkeys on the mountain. Remember~?” The thought was so tranquilizing, it made his whole body stiffen. She had been so careful and motherly when that baby monkey had jumped into her arms. She cradled it to her chest and cooed as if it were the most precious thing in the world, a beautiful little cub that cuddled up to her without any sense of danger.

“Just think about it. She would have to stop this stupid journey and come home with us. She would soon become ripe and full with OUR cubs. She wouldn’t be able to fight back against us anymore like that~ We would keep her safe, and provided for. No one would be able to take her from us,” Wukong purred into Macaque’s ear happily.

It was that last sentence that seemed to make the Moon Monkey crack. His eyes dilated into slits as his tail curled up with his mate’s. A deep purr rumbled through him and Wukong knew that he had won him over. They were going to have a cub! A precious little cub with their beautiful, merciful, Phoenix. The thought caused him to start purring too.

As dazed eyes looked back up at his, Wukong grinned. A kiss landed on his lips and Wukong leaned into his mate. Claws dug into fur as they both purred happily, neither letting the other go. Each were trying to practically devour the other. They only released each other when they heard that annoying pig.

“Hey! Master told me to go get water! You two have to come with!” Pigsy called, an annoyed look across his face. He clearly didn’t want the monkey demons to tag along, but to them in was the perfect excuse to get exactly what they wanted.

“Ugh!” Macaque dramatically groaned, hiding the thoughts that were in his head. They were going to make her theirs. She was theirs and NO ONE could take her from them EVER.

>>><<< 

 “Are you sure it was a good idea to send Sun and Mac with Pigsy?” Phoenix asked nervously glancing back towards the river.

“It should be fine. They don’t attack people anymore remember,” Tripitaka said with a shrug, one that had Phoenix grow more nervous.

Sure, the two hadn’t attacked any humans in their path recently but that didn’t really say much. As much as Phoenix cared for the two at this point it didn’t mean she trusted either of them to be alone. Especially with Pigsy who had a tendency to piss them off with his own arrogance.  

“If you say so…” She muttered quietly. They wouldn’t kill the pig demon, that would send both of them into a painful torture for hours. They weren’t stupid. Reckless and destructive? Yes. But they were not stupid in any sense of the word.

As if knowing they were being thought of, both monkeys suddenly appeared from the ground. Or more accurately a shadow portal. Wukong let out a loud hoot as he jumped out, twirling his mate into his arms. Phoenix couldn’t help but chuckle at their giddy nature.

“We’re back,” Pigsy said, breathing deeply as he held up a bowl of water to Tripitaka.

“We got you some too,” Wukong said holding out a bowl of water for Phoenix.

Initially she was surprised by it but as she thought back to the many times that the monkey demons had given her food she couldn’t help but smile. It was in their nature to take care of those they considered to be friends after all. She took the bowl from his hands not noticing the way his eyes twinkled with excitement.

If she had paid attention, she would have noticed the slight golden and purple glow that shimmered in the water. But as she closed her eyes to drink it thankfully neither color was noticed. She drank happily until the bowl was empty.

“Thank you!” She grinned truly thankful for their attentive nature.

“No problem,” Wukong grinned, a lovesick smile gliding onto his lips.

“Do you need anything else? Food? More water?” Macaque asked his tail thumping against the ground. His initial poor mood seemingly gone, though Phoenix still didn’t know how he came about that mood.

“No thank you. We should head over to the inn though, we’re almost there,” Phoenix said pointing towards the town with a grin.

“Of course,” Wukong grinned, both him and Macaque walking right next to her.

Usually, they would travel on his cloud or Macaque would hide in the shadows. It was odd for them to walk right next to her, not the first time they had done this, but it wasn’t often. At the change in demeaner, a strange feeling settled in Phoenix’s stomach. She narrowed her eyes, what did they do? Surely it was something if they were acting like this.

Just as she was about to ask, she heard Tripitaka and Pigsy groan. Her head snapped to look at them as she ran over to see them both kneeled over as they clutched their stomachs.

“Hey, are you two okay!?” She yelled, fear lacing her tone.

“My stomach hurts,” Tripitaka groaned laying on the ground, he sounded as if he was about to die. A part of Phoenix told her he was probably being dramatic, but she wasn’t for sure.

“I’m dying,” Pigsy groaned, now he was definitely being dramatic.

Phoenix immediately began using her gift of healing to help the pain go away for the both of them. She had no idea what was happening to them and was rather fearful on what was going on. She was so preoccupied that she didn’t even notice the elderly woman walk up to them until she spoke.

“Are you all okay?” Phoenix jumped at her words, looking up at the woman in shock.

“We don’t know what’s going on with our master and companion! They just fell over after drinking some water,” Sandy finally spoke up, as he tried to help sit Tripitaka up who was leaning against Ao Lie.

“Water? What water did they drink?” The woman asked, her face creased in slight worry as she pursed her lips.

Phoenix didn’t notice how Macaque bit his lip, at first it was with worry. She was about to figure out what they had done surely. No, she had no way of knowing that they knew what they had done.

“The water from the river,” Phoenix explained and as soon as she did the woman began to chuckle before she let out a full-blown laugh.

“What’s so funny!?” Pigsy yelled through his pain.

“The river, as in that river?” The woman asked pointing back at the river that they had taken the water from.

“Yes, that river. What about it?” Phoenix asked irritably, why would someone laugh while another is in clear pain.

She also wasn’t sure if it was the river that caused their pain. After all Macaque and Wukong had gotten her some water too and she was perfectly fine. Why would the water cause Tripitaka and Pigsy to be in pain but not her. Then again, she was immune to most poisons but surely there wasn’t a whole river that was poisoned. Right?

“You see, this land is a land of all women,” The woman began with a smile.

“Okay? Cool what does that have to do with-,” Phoenix cut in but was cut off by the woman who was telling the story.

“We have no men here, when a woman wants to get pregnant… they go to the mother-mother river. When the water is drank, it allows the woman to be with child,” She explained.

It took a moment before the facts set in. Tripitaka, Pigsy and Phoenix had drank water from the mother-mother river. They were all… PREGNANT!?

“What!?” Phoenix shouted in shock, her worry for her friends shut off when the fact that she herself was with child hit her brain.

Of course, she then pushed it away when she looked at Tripitaka and Pigsy. She had a female body; she was meant to carry children biologically… it could kill the two in front of her if they were to be with child. Their bodies clearly not designed to carry life within them as females did. It was a part of nature that way.

“So you’re telling us that... Tripitaka and Pigsy are… pregnant?” Sandy asked his shock evident across his face.

Behind them Wukong suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. He fell to his knees as he clutched his stomach deep laughter rolling freely out of him as he cackled. He had been so caught up in his plan for his beloved darling that he didn’t even think about Pigsy and the monk. He laughed and laughed unable to control his laughter.

Faintly he heard Sandy follow suit with the laughter. Of course, the river demon was also amused about the situation.

“What!? How do we fix this!?” Pigsy shouted angrily.

“Fix this? Aw yes. You must follow the river up to the source where the river begins in the mountain. Within the mountain is another spring, that is where one can choose to… terminate the pregnancy,” The woman explained calmly.

Almost immediately Phoenix felt herself relax; her friends would be safe. She knew that a child could not grow within them, it would die before their life could even begin. Her heart was pained at the thought, but she knew there was nothing that could be done about it.

“Wukong, Macaque, Sandy you three go find the spring and bring back the water,” Tripitaka ordered quickly, he was still clutching his stomach in pain.

Wukong’s laughter all but seized immediately before he looked up at the monk and scowled. He hated when the monk told him what to do. He had no right to… but that wasn’t what he was truly worried about right now. If they got the cure than his own cub… His face twisted into a snarl. Phoenix was carrying their cub! There was no reason for her to get rid of such a blessing!

“Hold up why should we fix your-!?” Wukong shut up when Macaque placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

It was a silent warning, it he kept talking it could ruin their well thought out plan. Or rather the plan that they both jumped into without actually paying attention to the consequences, even though they knew what they could be. Macaque knew that they were on thin ice, they were close to being found out. He couldn’t have that, they were expected to fix their companions’ fuck up.

“I drank the water too. Why am I not in pain?” Phoenix finally spoke up, a nervous look spread across her face.

“… It would probably be because you were born female. You were born female, correct?” The woman asked with a genuine smile.

“Yes. I was, I am female,” Phoenix nodded.

“Your body is accepting the child gracefully. However as neither of your other companions are well female they can’t exactly carry children,” The woman explained calmly.

The explanation calmed Phoenix a bit. They were like this because of their gender, in pain with the possibility of death looming over their heads. As for her, there was no threat to her with a child growing in her stomach.

“Sandy, Wukong and Macaque go get Tripitaka and Pigsy the water,” Phoenix said glancing at the three who hadn’t yet moved.

“What about you?” Sandy asked a worried expression across his face.

Phoenix stayed silent for a while. She didn’t know what to do taking the water would be the same as killing an innocent child that was growing within her. The thoughts of her family crossed her mind. She knew that her siblings would see her as a monster for a choice like that. Her master would be proud of such a decision, one that would prove that she didn’t feel what they felt.

She didn’t know what to do. Her vision blurred; tears threatened to fill her eyes but she fought them back. It would be dangerous to bring a child, a cub, on the journey with her. Right? But… they were only a few villages from her family. Surely, they would reach her cousins before the child was born. She had at least nine months, if not more not being human and all. She gritted her teeth as she tried to decide what to do.

Comment if you think I should make a part two. I thought about adding more to this but had changed my mind when I saw the word count... 😅

Part 2 - Mother-mother Spring

[as-i-watch]

Do you know what the biggest lie ever told in one piece is?

"There are only 5 devil fruits that can fly"

I mean Pell sounded cool when he said it but it has gotten worse over time with every devil fruit that appears.

Let's go down the list from least to most ridiculous DF users who can fly.

ACTUAL BIRDS:

-Pell [Bird Bird fruit: Model Falcon]

-Marco [Bird Bird fruit: Model Phoenix]

-Morgans [Bird Bird fruit: Model Albatross ]*

*Morgans is flightless in his hybrid form, but Albatrosses can naturally fly for long distances*

-Buzz [Bird Bird fruit Model eagle]**

**Buzz is a noncanon character from the movie One piece strawhat chase. He is a dog**

OTHER FLYING ANIMALS:

-Cub [bug bug fruit: Model rhinoceros beetle]

-Bian [bug bug fruit: Model hornet]

While bugs are known for crawling, these two tontatas have DFs who's species can naturally fly.

-King [Dragon Dragon fruit: Model Pteranodon]

Flying is the only natural thing that King does with his fruit. All the fire stuff is unique to King

-Kaido/Momonosuke [DF NAME UNKNOWN]

Momo can fly by summoning clouds and walking on them but dragons appear to have the innate ability to fly as shown with Kaido

BIRD BY TECHNICALITY:

-Toragatsu [Bird Bird fruit Model: Nue]

Torgatsu is a noncanon character from the One Piece x Kyoto art show. The nue is a chimera like creature from Japanese folklore that has the body of a tiger, head of a monkey and a snake for a tail. Alternatively it can be described as having the back of a tiger, the limbs of a tanuki, the tail of a fox, the head of a cat, and the torso of a chicken. It is a bird fruit because the name Nue also refers to the scaly thrush bird that the chimera mimics. Torgatsu can fly by summoning rainbow colored flames.

LOGIAS:

All known logia users [with the exceptions of Aokiji, Akainu*, Blackbeard &Caribou ] can fly via elemental propulsion. [*Akainu is in a different category]

-Ace/Sabo [flame flame fruit]

-Smoker [plume plume fruit](smoke)

-Crocodile [Sand sand fruit]*

*the presence of these 3 fruits alone in alabasta immediately invalidated Pell's statement*

-Kizaru [glint glint fruit] (light)

-Enel [Rumble Rumble fruit] (Lightning)

-Caesar Clown [Gas Gas fruit]

-Monet [Snow snow fruit]

PARAMECIA SHENANIGANS

-Shiki [Float Float fruit]

man can just straight up fly

-Trafalgar Law [Op Op fruit]

-Fujitora [Press Press fruit]

-Eustass Kid [Magnet Magnet Fruit]

The above manipulate their environment to create platforms that they ride on.

-Big Mom [Soul soul fruit]

Can use her soul to create constructs that she rides on

-Perona [Hollow Hollow fruit]

Can fly by turning herself into a ghost.

-buffalo [Spin Spinf Fruit]

Can fly by helicoptering his body parts.

IS IT FLYING IF I DON'T TOUCH THE GROUND?

-Akainu [Mag mag fruit]

Has been shown to use his magma to propel himself short distances but hasn't shown the ability to fly

-Magellan [Venom Venom fruit]

Can create pathways of poison that allow him to fast travel around impel down

FLIGHT BY TECHNICALITY

-Buggy [Chop chopper fruit]

his body parts can Float around within a certain radius of him, excluding his feet.

DOESNT COUNT AS FLYING

-Ms. Valentine [Kilo Kilo fruit]

Reducing her weight to 1Kg allows her to jump really high into the air and slowly fall down

??????

Karasu [DF UNKNOWN]

Can turn himself into a murder of crows and fly.

SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FLY AT ALL

-Doflamingo[string string fruit]

He flies by spidermaning his way through the air, sticking his strings to clouds

-Robin [flower flower fruit]

Grows several dozen arms that she fuses into a pair of wings

-Luffy [Gum Gum fruit]

Gear 4. Contracts and expands his legs with so much speed and force that it generates thrust.

There are probably some others that I missed but these are the major ones for where you are.

This a really cool categorization and also

Perhaps it was meant that only 5 DF like actually come with wings and the other ones just elevate their powers to do all that crazy shit

Or perhaps is further evidence Oda makes it all up as he goes along (most likely lol)

[shey-meine]

Whumptober 2024 - LMK fic

Like the rest of my fanfics:

' ' for thoughts

" " for speech

No triggers, don't worry, just some minor self-esteem issue

{honestly surprised how MK hasn't got trust issues yet, with how many times he's been tricked]

MK was in Flower Fruit Mountain, waiting for Wukong, who called him for something, but wouldn't say why. He patiently sat on the edge of the mountain, looking at the horizon. He hated being alone like this, with nothing to do, since it gave him time to think.

He tried to only think about happy things, like his friends, his family, what Pigsy was doing, revisiting the stories Mr. Tang would tell. But then, one of the tales made him remember about the calabash. Oh, the calabash. It was a HELL. Everything was “perfect”, sure, but it was so unnerving. He should've figured something was up sooner, he's so stupid.

‘I'm sure if it was anyone else they would've figured it out’ He thought to himself, sighing heavily in frustration. He then started thinking about all the times he was tricked. And there were many, where he should've guessed sooner. ‘I mean, what would a little girl be doing in the sewers, close to spider queen's lair?’

He brought his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly ‘And I shouldn't have trusted Azure so fast. Why would he be inside Monkey King's lair?! This makes no sense! Why did I trust him so easily?’

His thoughts started to spiral out of control, going from ‘you're so stupid, anyone else would've figured it sooner’ to ‘if I had known it before, none of my friends would've gotten hurt’. As he started to panic, he didn't notice Wukong getting closer, touching him in the shoulder when the kid didn't answer his name being called.

MK jumped slightly, tense as he looked at Wukong with wide and scared eyes, before realizing where he was once again and sighing in relief. “Oh, hey, Monkey King! Sorry, you gave me a scare. Did you find what you were looking for?” MK hurriedly sent a question in Wukong's direction, in hopes he wouldn't notice how he was tense before.

But of course, the king simply looked at him, worried. He got a little closer and sat down, looking at MK, looking for what to say. He took a deep breath, putting one of his hands on his shoulder “MK, bud, I know you don't like to talk about your feelings, but take it from someone who has been doing it for too long, you need to talk to someone.”

Mk just blinked, not sure if he should or shouldn't talk with Wukong about it. What if he started blaming MK for being so naive too? He didn't think he could handle someone he admired so much to think he was guilty. What if he decided to no longer have his as a successor?

Before he could spiral further into his own head, a voice spoke from the shadows “He's right, you know, kid? For once” the six-eared Macaque said as he got out of a shadow on the wall, leaning on it as soon as all his body got out. “I thought we already had this talk, at the theater? How you should talk about your feelings? I know I was tricking you” in a lower voice he complemented with an “again” before continuing “but I was serious about it.”

MK got mad at the mention of him being tricked, small tears forming at the corner of his eyes “That's exactly the problem! I fell for your tricks, just like I fell for Lady Bone Demon's, the fake reality on the calabash and just like I fell for Azure's acting!”

Both Macaque and Wukong were taken aback by the sudden outburst, but before they could react, MK continued. “I was so stupid! I shouldn't have trusted them! I-it didn't even make sense for me to trust Lady Bone Demon, even if she looked like a little girl! I mean, why would a random kid be close to Spider Queen's lair?! And the calabash was so obviously a trap! Anyone would've figured it out sooner”

He started rambling, tears starting to stream down his face as he started to finally let his emotions flow. He started furiously wiping his tears, not wanting to cry in front of his mentor and his ex-mentor. He opened his mouth to continue, but Wukong interrupted him before he could.

“Hey, hey, MK, it's okay, none of these are your fault.” He motioned his hand in front of MK, trying to calm him down “you were just trying to help, anyone in your position would've tried to help a little girl. And Azure always had a certain… charm, in tricking people. And, I'm sorry, but you got stuck in what?”

MK calmed down, his tears not apparent anymore, but he was still sniffling a little “In the calabash” MK answered in a small voice, thinking that, if Wukong didn't blame him before, he would definitely be mad he got himself caught in the calabash, but Wukong just looked at him as if proud “and you were able to get out, alone, I suppose. Great job, bud! [I have no idea if it's hard or not, I'm so sorry if it's inaccurate:/] Look, MK, if you hadn't helped them, they would've gotten what they wanted in some other way. You did what you thought was right, and got everything back to normal when was wrong, and that's all that matter”

Macaque cut him out “AND! Don't forget that these two were originally Wukong's problems, not yours, so the fault is not yours, is his, since he's a problematic monkey” he teased, trying to lighten the mood for the boy. He added, rather awkwardly, if this was even possible for the simian “And I'm sorry that I too dragged you into my fight with Wukong, I shouldn't have tricked you, kid”

MK felt both shock and relief. None of them blamed him for trusting the others, didn't think he was naive for trying to help, even if it resulted in something worse happening. Wukong got up and ruffled his hair. “Don't worry about it, okay? Just keep helping others, and if they are tricking you, we'll just need to make things right again, as we always do, fix everything.”

Mk laughed a little as Wukong messed with his hair, getting up, his body less tense, and his confidence better “Thanks, Monkey King. Thank you too, Macaque” the shadow monkey just gave a smirk “Don't mention it, kid”

Wukong got up too, smiling at MK, happy that the kid was feeling better. They proceeded to look for what Wukong wanted to show MK, which was the whole reason he was even up the mountain.

[fire-but-ashes-too]

get to know my oc!

thank you so so so much @flock-from-the-void for the tag <3

im so excited to do this, finally all the unnecessary traits I gave her will be useddd so so happy

gently tagging: @leisoree @rmgrey-author @digital-chance @maewrites13 @briannaswords @tea-and-mercury @anonymousfoz and anyone else who'd like to join :)

this is my forever beloved (and one of my first ocs that managed to not get tossed away) Giada from Flowers and Homicide (before it was murderous roses)

As I step in the lab, a rotting smell fills my nostrils. I'm seriously tempted to drop this crazy interview and go back home, but then I think of my boss.

And so I keep on walking through hell, knowing that the previously cited boss's rage would be even worse.

There's some guy cleaning a syringe near what I presume is a corpse (don't vomit, don't vomit, dont' vomit) and so I approach him and ask him if he knows where a girl named Giada could be.

After a couple seconds, he sends me off in direction of a room with glass panels, through them I catch sight of a dark, curly mass of hair and knock on the door.

"Hello, are you by any chance Giada?" the foreign name is still new on my tongue, I hope I didn't pronounce it wrong.

"Yes, that's me! What can I help you with?" she answers smiling brightly at me.

"I'm from Tumblr-News," I explain "I was hoping you'd have time for a couple of questions..."

"Oh! Sure! I'm on my break right now, so we have a good 20 minutes for talking"

Are you named after anyone?

Huh, interesting question. No, I wasn't named after a person, but an object. A gemstone. See, my family's half Italian and Giada, in Italian, means jade, also my grandmother's favourite stone.

I think she said something about a ring and a proposal.... doesn't matter though.

When was the last time you cried?

Ha haa... Is this really necessary? Yeah? Ok..Yesterday. I just'd just gotten my period and ice cream fell on my shirt. Don't judge, it makes me really emotional.

The period. Not the ice-cream.

Do you have kids?

Do I really look that old? Damn. And no, I don't have kids and don't plan on them.

Do you use sarcasm?

I believe sarcasm should be a love language. Yes I do, anytime I can, I love it, it's half of my personality.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Well, I'm a med student, so probably the overall appereance, if they're sleeping enough, if they're eating enough, stuff like that.

Also if they look like a murderer. Or like a person who killed someone.

Guilty, in general.

What's your eye colour?

They're jade, like my name. Just kidding, I'd love to have green eyes but I don't have them.

She leans closer to me and opens her eyes more than I thought was humanly possible.

I don't know if you can see through the glasses, but there is a bit of mud green in the brown, so technically my eyes are a bit green.

Mostly brown though.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I'm literally standing in a lab full of cadavers. What do you think?

Any special talents?

Oh oh I know this! I can lick my nose! Want to see?

she brings her tongue to her nose and makes a muffled scream while pointing to it.

I also have an apparently worrying knowledge about poisons and death, but I'm studying forensic, can you blame me?

Where were you born?

In an hospital? Duh. It was in San Francisco if you care to know.

What are your hobbies?

I've already said poisons but I'll say it again, they are super interesting, did you know we exist just because some ancient monkeys got high? many times, and those chemicals extended their brain cells and so they got smarter. It's amazing!

I also love magic, I've thought about joining a cult or something, but those people are mad. Worse than me. I've been to a session, and they were all dressed up strange, candles everywhere, there was the star on the ground, you know that star in the circle? That one.

But I firmly believe in faeries, coincidences do not exist, it's them meddling with our lives. You can't change my mind.

Do you have any pets?

I've always wanted a lizard or something like that, maybe a snake even if I'm low-key scared of them. They're absolutely stunning, but what if one bites me? They are super venomous.

But when I was little I had a goldfish, his name was Alastair, it was my favourite character from a book, can't remember which. It died after month.

It's buried in my parents' backyard. Poor little thing.

Any sport that you play/played?

I think you can tell that I'm not the sportiest person ever, but I was on the track team.

I absolutely sucked, but I was in it.

Oh and in winter I always went skiing with my family so also that.

How tall are you?

I'm 5.3 and I hate it. At least I can wear heels. But I usually don't cause they hurt my feet, apart from a pair of boots, those are my salvation. Sometimes I even wear them here, not today tho.. sorry I'm blabbering.

What's your favourite subject?

Oh, it's the first year I'm taking it but it's super interesting, it's called anesteti- anast- anesthesiology... Yeah anesthesiology. Hate the name love the subject. I think I like it because most anesthetics are also poisons.

But yeah, right now it's my favourite subject.

And finally, what's your dream job?

Coroner. Or working in the forensic squad.

Right now I'm in an internship, but if it goes well they might keep me around even next year.

"And that's it, thank you so much or answering, I'll leave you to... whatever you'll be doing" I smile uncomfortably and hug her quickly.

"Just in time, by break's over so I better get working"

She sets down her cup and shrugs on a white lab coat, quickly waves at me and just like that she's gone.

I walk as fast as I can, anxious to get rid of this disgusting smell.

[urmumsstuff]

So if yall want to know the origin of the this is why your single joke here it is

Flower wasn't really known for her temper, ironicly that went to the middle child who taught all his siblings, young and old new ways to apply curse words and put sailers to shame. Her mother often made said brother go pray after a slew of curses that would come forth.

So it honestly wasn't a surprise when flower tripped over a rock and ping pong balled down a hill in a series of unfortunate events that when she reached the bottom of said hill all they heard was the following.

"FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHER FUCKER, THAT HURT YOU RICH DICKED MORNING WOOD MUNCHER. EAT CARPET YOU FUCKING DICK. OH FUCKING SHIT THAT HURT! I HOPE THAT ROCK BECOMES SAND IN THE ASS CRACK OF A FUCKING GREASY FAT KAREN WHO DROOLS OVER HER COWARD HUSBAND. THAT FUCKING COW FUCKER"

It didn't have as much impact nor creativity and if said middle brother had heard it he would be disappointed giving her a 4 out of 10 but he wasn't there and therefore could not judge her.

The group reached the bottom of the hill to see her laying on her front in frustrated silence

"Do you need help?" The monk asked hesitantly

"No let me lay upon the bed of LIES I have fallen upon" okay there showed true to her twin but also the shame that radiated off of her.

"You look stupid"

"You have a face that is so ugly not even a mother could love you if she bore you from her flesh" wukong barked a laugh at the insult tossed his way.

"I see she agrees that you are ugly brother monkey-"

That got her up on her ass sitting and staring and fully interrupting the pig "you have no room to speak or open your mouth you dog welped, boarish whore. Your mother would deny she bore you into this world and the urge to force you to eat pork grows stronger with every step I take in your presence. You should not throw stones from glass houses you weak willed unsatisfying lazy pig. May your mother and mothers mother deny you from their family tree"

her eyes narrowing into dangerous degrees as she stared down the pig who looked rightly enraged to be told such a thing. She had the gull to bring ancestors into the conversation with a calm that wasn't like her words. Her words spoke rage of unknown degree but her voice was a deadly calm.

What followed was a fight a loud fight at that both cursing and insulting the threat of fists being thrown ever.

"You bare the mind of a half wit not worth the air he takes from the world"

"This is why no man, human demon nor Divine would look upon you in favor"

"Good I like being single, unlike you who can't seem to understand some girls would lay with you if you improved your heart and acted more in the interests of the mind and emotion then that of the flesh" that got her to pause for a moment

"Wait.. did we just make a this is why your single agruement out of the blue?"

The pig stopped to think the others watching with mixed reactions

"I do believe it has reached that point yes"

"Do you want to just say this is why your single instead of insulting each other to such degrees and agree we dislike each other?"

It was an olive branch of peace that the monk clearly wanted to be broached between the pair both having insulted the others ancestors to various degrees and other retorts.

"Do you want this swept under the rug"

"By the nine hells no I am giving some of your insults to my elder brother to add to his arsenal of things to spew forth for no reason"

"..."

There was silence again

"This is why you are single"

"Indeed it is, forever alone I am in my bed with only my own heart to keep me company"

"That is painfully saddening"

"No, that's your love life, I am content with how I am"

They talked more defusing themselves to a decent degree and making a contract or agreement of sorts to keep insults within a specified degree. Leaving them all wondering how it had gotten to that point

[cloud-somersault]

Just wanted to comment that I found your post about the five pillars of magic and who is proficient in which so incredibly interesting! I was actually kinda surprised that Little Star had no experience in Shadow because I’ve gotten the impression that Macaque had more of the role of teacher with them than Wukong did at that time, and he had MK delve into it a little, but I guess the circumstances were VERY different with Macaque actually training Star but manipulating MK to siphon his powers when they first met (actually intrigued about your take on that in the Constellations verse) but obviously you as the author have more info on the characters than we as the audience do.

Poor MK is the only one not proficient in an area yet 😭 but tbh considering he’s so young compared to the rest of them and has been training officially for even less (I guess approximately a year? Maybe more or less? Idk the timelines help) then I think he’s doing real good! My guess would be that he’s gonna master either Celestial or possibly Elemental first since I guess that’s some of what Wukong had been teaching him so far and we know MK takes after him a lot in certain areas? Plot twist would be if you have some mega angst planned and he ends up mastering Death first (I remember Wukong mentioning that the golden flowers of his birth might have appeared in the Underworld too?), orrrr maybe he’ll end up being a Jack of All Trades, Master of None? Anyway MK baby I believe in you 🧡

Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked that post, I should reblog it more so others can see 😭Macaque did have a strong role in training Little Star, but the prerequisites for training in shadow are difficult...and not exactly something that sounds fun. To Little Star, magic is fun first and foremost. I don't think they'd be interested (or patient enough) to train in shadow magic. Macaque would respect that.

Huh. 🤔If I had to explain in a constellations!way or how I see it happening, Macaque was manipulating the shadows in MK's heart and mind, pulling on that emotion of wanting to be a great student, powerful and cool enough so that Monkey King would be impressed by him. We know, at this point, that MK was wondering if Wukong thought he'd made a mistake in choosing MK as his successor. Macaque would've honed in on that feeling of inadequacy and used it to his advantage.

So, then, Macaque could give power to MK in that way. Once Macaque can control/see the shadows in someone's heart and mind, it's exceptionally easy for him to manipulate them. Macaque can give them nightmares, conversely, he can also prevent nightmares by this same manipulation (this will come up later). I'd like to think that he needs to have some feeling to go off of, y'know. A way to get his foot in the door. Training with MK in season 1 was Macaque finding that way in, and he grabbed hold of it, and...the reset of the episode happened. That's how I'd explain it, anyway. So MK doesn't know shadow magic formally. He's just felt it and somewhat controlled it...kind of.

No, MK is not proficient...yet. In Constellations, the first three seasons of the show took place in two years. Right now, in the epilogue, we are in...May! Of the third year (yes i have this fic planned down to the timeline, leave me alone). The epilogue will end in, roughly, September. MK will be training that whole time.

So he's been training for about two and a half years. I'd say he's making great progress! He's mastered the 72 transformations, and once he's directed his celestial magic to interact with all of the elements, he'll have crossed another milestone. For magic proficiency, we have to think...smaller. Like by individual spells. For an immortal, time is nothing. For MK? Every second counts, and he's learning fast. He's great at cloud-somersaulting already after his first attempt. That's fucking astounding since it even took Wukong some time to master. You're right that he's doing great!!

MK is focusing on celestial and elemental right now, yes. This will come up in chapter 6 of the epilogue. And! In chapter 3, Macaque and Wukong discussed the order of teaching MK the elements. In their minds, that means MK has a solid foundation in celestial magic, enough so that they can push him to do more elemental things.

Interesting that you'd mention death magic...what a plot twist that would be, indeed. 😁We'll have to see what happens. But! I do love the idea of MK being a jack of all trades. I just love characters like that. But, if I were to put a celestial primate in that category right now, it'd be Macaque. But that's just because he loves magic so much.

Wukong did say that MK's birth made golden flowers bloom in every realm (this is very important) along with an earthquake. So! Golden flowers from MK's birth are in the Underworld! Wonder what happened with them, huh.

Maybe we'll find out~ 😉

[ringlorn]

BLOOD

actions speak louder than words | blood, sender cleans blood off of receiver.

one.

"You ever get tired of being beaten up all the time?" the voice is as warm as the cloth is rough, wet cotton digging out off bits of gravel with the sting of blood beneath.

"You ever get tired of beating the same guy every time?" Nezha retorts while biting back a wince. "Sheesh, stop scrubbing so hard. You're going to take my skin off."

"You told me it just grows back."

"Am I supposed to grow new skin every time we spar?!"

"Why not?" his opponent snorts. "I have to pluck out my hair every time I make clones to deal with your extra arms."

"Oh yeah?"

"Next time I should just shave you bald before we fight."

Sun makes an indignant noise at that while Nezha laughs at him.

"Don't look so shocked, fuzzbutt. I doubt any blade can cut you when you're made of stone. You never even bleed." He was a little jealous of that, honestly—it's why Sun's always the one cleaning him up after their spats. "Cheater."

"Sore loser."

"Boulderbrains."

"Flowerboy."

"If you're gonna be so cocky, let me stab you first next time."

"Tch, your lame spear won't even pierce through my shirt."

"Sissy!"

"Weakling!"

This was going to take a while.

—

two.

"Sun!"

Whatever happened here, Nezha was too late to stop it. Instead he found himself speeding through the aftermath on his Wheels—dodging bits of rubble, searching through the ruins for that idiotic, stubborn, love-addled fool—his friend.

The person he—

Someone screams.

Nezha looks up in time to see a body falling his way, and catches it in his arms by instinct. He recognizes the armor as belonging to the celestial guards in the palace—but before he can ask any questions, the man coughs up a mouthful of blood in Nezha's face, expression wreathed in pain and panic, and dies. His hands are wet—looking down, the god sees them soaked in blood from a massive wound in the soldier's stomach.

Who did this?

A furious screech fills the air next, enough to shake the halls and make Nezha grimace in pain. He looks up and sees brilliant orange light, searing bright and raging. It's as if they've been cast into one of the King of Hell's cauldrons of eternal flame.

Sun.

Leaving the dead body behind, Nezha flies straight towards the light, his Wheels a tiny flicker against that horrific, endless inferno. Midway through, more bodies fall, raining from the upper echelons of Heaven like some grotesque parody of flowers. Silken robes, golden armor, sashes and capes adrift—all abloom in splendid shades of scarlet. He dodges them but not the blood, which dyes him in droplets, then patches, as more falls in a fine mist akin to rain.

Sun Wukong had always been skilled in shedding the blood of others.

Beyond the light, the skies are stormy; Heavenly lightning roiling to life at this blatant show of defiance. No god had ever defied its Laws; no monkey would start now, even if he considered himself a Sage equal to Heaven.

In the end, Nezha never reaches him. Once again, he only sees the aftermath, of the body forced prostrate before the throne, the eyes closed and limbs bound of the monkey awaiting judgment (once again) for his crimes. He convinces Erlang Shen to let him in once before the trial, shaking hands gripping those unresponsive shoulders to whisper an uncertain question.

"...Sun?"

His friend never answers, and for his efforts Nezha only manages to leave a pair of bloody handprints on his fur.

—

three.

With a well-aimed kick, Nezha sends a thug flying into the wall of the alleyway, their jaw making a satisfying crack as he slumps towards the ground. The others aren't much better off either, groaning in a heap or leaving smears of red on the concrete as they try to crawl away.

This is probably the last of his brother's men, the only obstacle in front of his path to being the heir. He's gotten more used to this body after training it up, enough that he can manage most fights without breaking a sweat, and certainly without breaking his skin.

Tilting down his sunglasses, Nezha squints at the sun in the sky before snapping his fingers at one of his lackeys.

"Deal with them by sundown," he snaps, "you how pops hates it when we leave a mess."

The man mutters an affirmative back with a low bow before taking out his phone to make some calls. Meanwhile, Nezha turns on his heel and stalks out into the streets, where he knows a car's waiting for him a couple blocks down. The city's quiet this time of day—too hot for criminals and decent folk alike, though the heat's never bothered him. He starts walking left before hesitating and turning towards the right instead, dismissing the bodyguards who try to follow with a wave of his hand.

Instead, he follows a winding but well-known path down a series of additional alleys before coming upon a pathetic-looking figure huddled in the paltry shade of a cardboard box. Without a word, Nezha drags out an arm with a familiar bracelet, inspects the fresh wounds on it, and holds his victim in place while digging through his pockets for disinfectant and band-aids. The person in his grasp struggles briefly, even clawing at his sleeves at one point, but quickly stills when Nezha snaps at him in authoritarian tones.

"Stay."

The struggling stops.

Spray, clean, apply, finish.

It's done and over in less than five minutes, Nezha shoving the freshly-bandaged arm back at its owner before getting to his feet to leave. A few steps out and he hears the telltale shuffle of the monkey debating whether to follow him; he shuts that down real quick with another barked order to stay put.

Helping Sun when he could was one thing, but outright associating with him would be too dangerous. This the first and last time he'll ever deal with him in person—after today his status will change, making it better to work from the shadows.

Back at the car, his bodyguard opens the door for him before hesitating.

"What?" Nezha glowers from behind his lenses.

"Pardon, xiao shaoye, but there's a stain on your sleeve. Should I take it for dry-cleaning?"

Nezha looks down; it's the sleeve that Sun had grabbed onto while trying to refuse treatment. Bits of red dot the expensive vicuna fabric, marring the light gray suit jacket with unsightly splotches. The color reminds him of stone.

"...I guess rocks do bleed after all."

"Xiao shaoye?"

"Leave it. I'll burn it myself later."

"Understood."

Earth is a lot different than Heaven in these parts—in Sun's case, it might as well be Hell. Slipping into the car, Nezha closes his eyes as the bodyguard shuts the door while his driver peels off into the streets. The image of the dirty monkey in the box overlaps with the memory of his friend in the past, striking in how far he's fallen since then.

Hey Sun, you ever get tired of being beaten up all the time?

If you are, then hurry up and remember.

Remember yourself. Remember me.

And take us home.

[handelplayssims]

Reaper's Rewards - Week 4

We’re back at it again! I finally managed to pull myself from Hades 2 long enough to do this. ...and there’s still FFXIV’s seasonal event. And Slay the Princess: Pristine Cut is coming out soon. AND Splatfest. Aaaaaaaaaaaa why is the everything everything this spooky season!?

Oh boy. This week is getting you the rarest ingredient. The Death Flower. Oh no. Luckily, I have somewhat prepared for this.

I have made an improvised gazebo. For sheltering plants simply just requires a roof over them. The cherry tree should flower soon and then I can do the grafting thing to get pomegranates and then the Death Flower ...though I have another thing to do, checking groceries daily. I think we can get a pomegranate fruit from them.

...also this week wink nudges you at flirting with death. ...Alexander is a teen so that’s kinda not for him. Also he doesn’t seem as interested in romance as others are, he’s focused on this goal too much! Haven’t even gotten crushes, which would definitely help with me defining his sexuality.

Anyway, goals! Newsletter, flirting or socializing with Grim, fullfilling an aspiration goal, which will be easy as pie, four memebers in this household, researching ambrosia again, and talking to three plants. Good to know.

Alex is awake and it’s time to do the gardening. I’m not getting lucky with Orchids on one grafted Lily so, lets graft another flowering plant and see… Worse comes to worse, I’ll try going to Henford and Tartosa’s flower stalls to see if there are Orchids in either of those.

Let’s see...neither Bella or Geoffrey have work today so let’s see what their whims… both of them want to have another kid. One I can kinda ignore but uh, two is uh, hmm. WELP. Well it’s not as if we can’t afford it at least. And Bella’s young enough.

...that being said, I’m being very distracted by the fact it’s SNOWING in Not!New Orleans. -grumbles- I know the devs said it’s to ensure that there would be snowy weather even in base game but it really takes me out that it snows in Not!New Orleans. Ah well, it’s fall so it won’t stick but it’ll be a reminder to get the weather device ready.

...with Bella’s beguile, I could kill Geoffrey via woohoo, aka death-by-overexhertion. Hmm. HMMMMMMM. Hmmmmmmm. We’ll see.

Ohp. Never mind. Bella’s expecting. Another kid, we shall have.

Let’s see, next whim of Bella is to make a Sim happy. Anyone in her contacts she hasn’t befriended yet? Marjorie De La Cruz! Local comedian. Let’s go say hi ...evidently Majorie is engaged to be married. The things you forget since it’s been an age since I played that household. Right, Majorie befriended, but is in too much of a flirty mood to feel good about it. Eh, fine’s fine, I suppose. But what’s this! A sister! ...who is 1 star famous so I can’t say hi. Alas. Ah well, friend made and donation got. Let’s head back home.

...oh you know what we could do? Baby Shower! Let’s set one up on Fridaaaa- Saturday. Because evidently there is a holiday preventing the party from being a reward one ...I really don’t have much to do with Bella at the moment so uh, just hang out until Alex – ohp he has chess – Venus comes home then.

Right, can’t do much with Alex but I can have him read the society newsletter. Death Flower is within reach so work on cooking, they say! Alrighty. Off to chess he goes.

Right, Venus’s next goal is to exchange a friendship bracelet. Easily done. Oh Besty Banks! My bestie my best pal! And that gets us done with the aspiration stage of the weekly quests. See! Easy! Next is to...earn gold on a slumber party. Oof. Going to take a day or two for me to actually do that. Anyway, I’m just going to spend some time playing on the monkey bars until 6:30.

Let’s see. Geoffrey wants to volunteer so let’s have him and Bella do that. We finally have some time with Alex so let’s get started with these Reaper quests.

...Researching Ambroisa is not popping up anymore. ...I’m going to give it a day but I’m not going to save in the meantime. Just in case… (God this event is so buggy!)

Speaking of buggy, our bulter is unable to repair stuff. Had an oven flare up and did nothing. Didn’t do anything with a broken sink either. Hmm.

Spooky house is startling everyone, only Geoffrey is the terrified. Well, our butler Kendall is as well but he’s non-controllable so we don’t care! But then both Alex and Venus are awake and scared. Rare. But with some needs management and some scared candles, they turned out okay. Making it time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Satoru Fujiwara in the Fujiwara household has stared a job as an Opening Act in the Entertainer career.

Gasp! Orchids! They grew on my spliced plant! Give give give! Alright, outside of the Orchids, we’re going to move to another lot with Bella and/or Geoffrey during Bella’s work from home today and then come back home and see if that resets the first thing. Otherwise, rip Orchid but we gotta re-roll this week again. -grumble-

Also it’s Night on the Town. Well, it’ll give the family an excuse to eat out somewhere. Right, new goals. Paint a mural and collect donations. Time to head out to the gym where I have placed down some local murals! Now murals go quicker when working with someone so Miko Ojo is teaming up with Bella to paint it. Right, 1PM and Miko has vanished. Time to rope in some of these buff dudes to try painting. Oh hey! Hi Johnny Zest, my adult step-son! Time to join me in painting. ...and then he leaves. Dang. Fine. We’ll call up Katrina Caliente and finish the mural with her. And I grabbed a bite from a seasonal vendor...forgetting it’s a holiday and I was planning a family dinner out! PLANS RUINED!

...anyway, I have a theory about the travel button. Like I tend to use the return home button on the sims, but instead, I should be manually moving home from the map! ...it didn’t bring back the ability to research. DAMN. RELOAD. -sighs deeply- So much for new child!

...OH NO. I’m doomed. Reloading didn’t bring the ability to research back. Right, let’s try a game repair… still failure. Time to try clearing the cache and turning off mods...which I don’t really want to do but it’s next steps. ...didn’t work. Shit. We’re doomed. Welp, time to make a bug report. And be sad.

It's several days later from the inital writing and I FOUND A WORKAROUND! I just had to start up a completely different file with a new Sim and have them research ambrosia. And I found this out only an hour before the next patch. RIP me.

So we're back to our initial day and restarted again. Next goal is to simply obtain a death flower. We need a pomegranate tree. I double-checked the groceries and YES! There is a pomegranate on offer. Wooo! Now it’s a matter of letting it grow, nabbing a cutting and nabbing an Orchid and fusing. And the in-game wait time of the fruit growing.

...OH MY GOD. I have five pomegrantes already. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Plant the fruit! Plant the fruit! I’ll give it an in-game week to grow before I go and find a room with a death flower on the gallery.

Bella wants to make something of excellent quality and I’m feeling like a gourmet dish.

A friend of Geoffrey’s has dropped by and he...hates children! Ohhh that’s argument worthy! An argument he evidently lost. Alas!

Anyway, Bella’s next whim is to mentor a child. Hmm. I think I’ll have her tag along with Venus today with the friendship bracelet exchange.

...ha! Having Bella play with Venus on the playset gave her the option to pick up the childish trait. ...eh. Not really feeling that. And then it popped up quickly after...and then goofball. Man! If you want those traits, play as a sea monster with other kids.

...I feel like a seasonal food stand. Surprised the park doesn’t have one. But you know what does? The area around the library! Get munchies there! And now to finally have Bella lecture Venus about saying sorry. Conflict resolution is not an easy choice to raise, after all!

Hmm. It's 9PM, only a little bit before bed, Alexander wants to listen to tunes. And the Grimaphone is right there. Might as well call up Grim before settling in for music. Say hi, hello! And with that, two more rewards claimed! Including the fancy portrait. Evidently it’s gigantic as all get out. I really don’t have any room for such decorations around here. But you know what I can do? Have Bella flirt with Grim! Hehe.

And with that, another evening sets. Will it be peaceful...looks to be so!

Anyway, time for a fresh and new-

Neighborhood Watch!

Advik Gupta in the Gupta household has started a job as a Nano-Simfluencer in the Simfluencer career.

Hayden Irvin in the Irvin household has died. Shockingly, Hayden botched a repair and was electrocuted.

Jillian Church in the Church household has died. No Cliffhanger here; Jullian slipped when rock climbing.

Windenburg: The Guzman household recently moved in.

Strangerville: The Mendoza household recently moved in.

Do I feel the effort to continue on? Not really. Let’s come back next week and get that Death Flower and other such new delights...if I come back. Patch is going to break mods and we’ll see how this all plays out with mine in particular.

[dear-ao3]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon

[velvet-wishes-candy-dreams]

I don’t know which fandom to request for 👀 uh, how about Camilo and Dolores (separate) with an S/O who’s ability is being randomly super lucky or super unlucky depending on the day? ☘️ Make it c h a o t i c . Gender neutral reader please :D -🐀

I mayyy have gotten a little too excited for this concept~

Warnings: None

Gender: Gender Neutral

Dolores

You know that one meme of the puppet monkey doing a side eye and then looking away? That's what every day feels like when she's with her s/o.

Don't take it in a wrong way, she adores this little quirk of theirs! However, it makes for a very eventful day.

Every day is a daily 50/50 raffle. Is it a lucky day or is it an unlucky day? Who knows!

Well, Dolores does get a headstart. At the moment she opens her eyes and gets out of the bed, if she hears a loud 'THUNK' or a very ecstatic cry of joy, then she'll know what kind of day it is.

That and also the rather foul weather outside is her next hint.

The first time, she thought it was her mother having another one of her moments. But after confirming it was indeed the working of mother nature, the view of her poor s/o slipping and falling on their butt because of some conveniently placed mud confirms her suspicions.

Think of Dolores as their guardian angel! If it's a super unlucky day, she'll try to help limit bad things from happening by putting her enhanced hearing to good use.

However, sometimes her gift can be her own weapon of destruction if she's giving her s/o directions on which way they should go, incidentally causing them to fall down a flight of stairs in Casita or accidentally upsetting one of the Madrigals because they might have said something that rubbed any of them off the wrong way.

With a little squeak, Dolores will try her best to explain it's just their ability acting up again.

....Only for her to see them somehow fall out the window because they wanted to look at a particularly pretty flower at the corner of her eye.

Their very lucky days are her days of rest. Dolores doesn't have to running left and right trying to restore peace in the world, and the sun is shining especially bright with it's comforting breeze every now and then!

Whether their luck benefits themself or others, Dolores will always be interested and equally delighted.

They found that one piece of jewelry they lost on an unlucky day? Wonderful!

They learned a game in less than 2 minutes? Terrific!

There are days that their super lucky days can get as equally chaotic as their super unlucky days, though. All they wanted to do was help the Madrigals find the toucan Antonia befriended, and they ended up with a dozen toucans perched on them. With the price of getting attacked by bird poop when they traveled to them. Dolores has never laughed any harder, and it's a story always told at the dinner table!

No matter what happens on a certain day, Dolores never sees it as a chore to keep them out of trouble.

If anything, it gives her an excuse to give them just a little bit more love and care than usual.

"This is not how I expected my day to go, but every day is an adventure with you, mi amor!"

Camilo

It didn't take the gorgeous, sunny weather to confirm it was going to be a lucky day.

It took the rather large jar filled with plenty of coins being handed to them by a very moody Pepa, lecturing her middle child and her husband for placing many bets on what kind of day it was going to be for them to know.

Yep, it was true!

Both Camilo and Felix stood there, taking their lecture about how wrong it was to place bets on something as childish as this, but that sly grin on Camilo's face proved that this wasn't their first rodeo.

In all honesty, Camilo sees his s/o's ability as a blessing more than a curse, especially their very unlucky days.

There was one time Mirabel caught the two in the act about to terrorize another poor, unsuspecting villager on the rooftop of an old home. If it weren't for Dolores hearing their plans and blabbing them Mirabel, they would have gotten away with it. Of course, when she got their attention, Camilo's poor s/o was so spooked, they almost fell down the roof it weren't for Camilo having an already tight grip on them, causing them both to fall in a frightened, tangled heap.

The two will get into some everyday mischief, and if their bad luck causes an issue where they get caught, they both will just blame it on their horrible luck.

Of course, this doesn't happen all the time.

Camilo will always look after his s/o on their unlucky days! He'll try his best to keep preventable incidents from happening like warning Pepa what kind of day it is so she doesn't storm on them or tidying up the simplest messes so they don't have to break their back trying to get a nice cup of water.

On their worst days, Camilo will help ease his s/o's neveres. The last thing he wants is a freak accident to happen while they're not in the right headspace.

"Easy, mi vida, easy. It's gonna be alright, it's over now."

Now saying Camilo gets excited for good weather is an understatement.

He takes after his father, he's totally whipped about his s/o, so their very lucky days are his best days! He'll stick by their side so he can see their eyes brighten at something good that happened.

Always hypes them up, even when the littlest sparks of luck work their magic in his s/o's day. Of course, as he always swears, the best luck they've ever had was "scoring the best Madrigal" as their lover, but sometimes they don't buy it if they don't play along.

Camilo enjoys the good moments, but sometimes the chaotic lucky days are what makes the days so good.

He's a troublemaker, so when he can't get away with blaming his s/o's bad luck on the consequences of his poor choices, he'll do whatever he can to make their day as wacky as possible.

Of course, not too wacky to put anyone in danger, but just wacky enough to know that there is some Camilo in it.

Even though the betting jar filled with coins from the previous bet wasn't planned, it still was a nice surprise for his s/o to be given on their glorious, lucky day.

Every day is a new adventure for them both. Their energies mix well with each other, and having someone like Camilo by their side always makes the baddest days seem brighter. After all, he's never one to stop until he makes everyone smile~

[lunar-wandering]

Sticky Soul Disease (AKA, the most chaotic thing to hit the Monkie Gang ever)

the amount of crazed energy i had while writing this is frankly off the charts

anyways only @smallpwbbles is gonna understand this one dkjfdlkjdlkfd

Word Count: 2.2k

Read on Ao3

There had been many things Mei had expected when she answered her phone that morning.

Ending up on Flower Fruit Mountain with everyone else, watching as the Monkey King steadily made his way up the wall while carrying a bucket of paint with his tail and a paintbrush in his hand, frantically painting the walls like if he didn't do it the world would come to an end, was not one of the things she'd predicted.

"So uh... y'got an explanation for this?" She asked, turning to MK, who had called her along with everyone else to the island. MK, in response, only gave a shrug, playing with the strings of his hoodie. Mei quirked an eyebrow at his silence, noting that he had his hood drawn up. "What's with the hood?"

"Bad hair day." Was MK's answer, pulling the hood slightly lower. "Anyways, I'm not entirely sure what's up with Monkey King, I just got here and he was... like this."

Everyone turned back to watching Wukong as he wobbled a little, looking almost like he was about to fall, before stabilizing himself and going right back to painting.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Pigsy asked, receiving a nod from MK as an answer.

"Tried. He didn't respond to me other than saying that his painting had to be 'perfect'." MK said, putting his hands in his pockets. "I'm honestly kinda worried."

Red Son looked at MK, then glance back up at Wukong, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he took in the monkey's appearance. Mussed up fur, a slightly hazy look in his eyes, the swaying-

The strand of fur that was coloured yellow.

"Say, Noodle Boy?" Red Son asked, gaining the group's attention. "How often would you say you've been fusing into Dawn?"

"Mm.... At least once a day? For the past week?" MK shrugged, having not really been keeping count. Red Son let out a sigh.

"Yeah, that explains it..." He muttered, before raising his voice so that the whole group can hear. "He's sick. It's this- this thing that can happen when you fuse too often, it's called Sticky Soul Disease or something like that, it's basically like a cold, but you also start emulating either the person you fused with or the people around you. One of the usual visual indicators is a streak of hair that changes colour and well... I don't remember Monkey King getting a dye job recently."

With that information in mind, everyone glanced back at Wukong, who, during this conversation, had managed to make his way further up the wall, whispering to himself as he doodled on it.

"...Painter MK?" Mei asked.

"Painter MK." MK confirmed, voice slightly muffled from how he was chewing on his hoodie string. He shook his head. "Out of all the things he could've started emulating from me, of course it'd be Painter MK."

"Could be a lot worse." Mei patted him on the shoulder comfortingly. "It could've been Party MK."

"Small blessings I guess..."

"Regardless." Pigsy interrupted, pointing at Wukong. "We can't just leave him like this. We have to do something at least- if it's like a cold as Red Son said, then he should be resting, not halfway up some wall."

"Yeah, good luck trying to get him down." MK snorted, "I tried for at least 10 minutes before I called the rest of you."

"There has to be something we can do." Tang said, turning to look at Macaque, raising an eyebrow as he saw that the shadow monkey had slowly started walking away from the group. "Macaque?"

Macaque froze mid-step, fur bristling as he turned back around, shifting from foot to foot.

"You knew Monkey King when he was younger, any ideas on how to get him to stop doing.... that?" Tang asked, briefly glancing back at Wukong (who had once again gotten higher up the wall), before focusing back in on the shadow monkey.

"Uh, no, sorry, afraid I've gotta skip out on this lil porty-" Macaque started, before abruptly cutting himself off, practically biting his own tongue as he slammed a hand over his mouth, realizing what he'd said and how he'd said it. There was a moment of shocked silence as everyone stared at him, processing what had just happened.

"....Was that-" MK started, only to be cut off as Mei let out a sound of dismay.

"Oh fuck not again." She whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand, squeezing her eyes shut as though she hoped that when she'd open them again this would all be a dream.

"You've gotta be kidding me. Two of you? At the same time?" Pigsy sighed, "What's next, is MK gonna get sick too?"

MK, outside of Pigsy's view, looked guiltily off to the side. Tang and Red Son gave him twin looks of suspicion, but were forced to put that thought on the back-burner, as Macaque, laughing nervously from their stares, turned, and started trying to run off.

Only to get tackled to the floor by Wukong, the Monkey King's new hair streak having swapped from yellow to a vibrant blue. The shock of hitting the floor knocked away Macaque's glamour, his six ears and scars becoming visible, along with a yellow hair streak.

...Which quickly swapped to a burning red.

"Get off of me you peach loving buffoon!" Macaque hissed, shoving at Wukong's face, trying to push him away. Wukong didn't budge an inch.

"You looked like you needed a hug!" Was all he said, before going back to squeezing the other, completely ignoring Macaque's struggling and loud swearing.

While the others focused on the two monkeys, MK slowly stepped back, tugging his hood to cover as much of his hair and face as possible, steadily sneaking away from the group. Red Son, noticing his sudden disappearance, leaned over and whispered something into Mei's ear.

MK summoned the staff, fully intent on vaulting away, only to be stopped in his tracks as Mei used her dragon speed to stand directly in front of him.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked, giving him a disapproving look.

"Uh... home?" MK tilted his head to the side, a very familiar nervous smile on his face. That expression didn't last however, being replaced with one of shock as Sandy appeared behind him, scooping him up.

"You okay MK?" He asked, giving MK a look of concern.

"Uh yeah, yeah I'm fine, totally fine-" Suddenly, MK's nervous expression swapped to one of angry frustration, squirming and kicking in Sandy's hold. "Let go of me-"

As Sandy readjusted his grip in order to still hold on to MK without hurting him, all the shifting around caused MK's hood to fall down, revealing the, as expected, red streak in his hair.

Tang pulled his phone out and took a picture.

"Yet another one for the 'this is why you need to take better care of yourself' slideshow..." He muttered, adjusting his glasses, before looking MK directly in the eyes. "We got you! We got this on camera!"

MK hissed at him.

-

Figuring out that the Monkey Trio was sick was the easy part.

The hard part, was getting them to fucking rest.

Sitting in the Monkey King's living room, Mei could only assume a day care would be easier to run, as she witnessed Dawn run by, laughing like a maniacal villain, streaks of purple and red in his hair.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!" Red Son yelled, jumping up from his seat and immediately going in pursuit of the fusion. "We told those two to not fuse under any circumstances-"

Mei stood up as well, ready to join the chase, only to belatedly remember the shadow monkey resting behind her, turning around and glaring at him with as much force as she could muster, Macaque shrinking back slightly.

"Stay." She hissed, channeling as much dragon energy as possible into the word. It was only when Macaque gave a hurried nod that she turned and rushed after the MK and Wukong fusion.

So of course, as fate would have it, when she and Red Son returned, her carrying fortunately docile MK while Red Son reluctantly carried a struggling Wukong, Macaque was gone.

Mei let out a world weary sigh as she put MK down in a chair, giving him a book to read as the Monkie Kid emulated Tang. Her phone dinged, and she pulled it out of her pocket to find one of her party friends had tweeted at her.

- Who's DJ'ing this party?

Underneath the text, was a picture of what was obviously Macaque, a bright yellow streak in his hair indicating exactly who he was emulating at the current moment.

"That fucker." Mei hissed, already crackling with energy as she left MK and Wukong in Red Son's "capable" hands, heading directly for the mall. "I told him to s t a y."

-

MK sat at the table in Wukong's kitchen. Macaque sat directly across from him, a silver streak in his hair, unblinking.

MK frowned, tilting his head to the side as he ate another peach chip. (He was, currently, emulating Wukong, as evidenced by the orange streak in his hair). Mei and the others had left him and Macaque on their own, them all having raced outside to try and get Wukong down from the wall as the Monkey King had gone back to doodling again. It had been fine at first, but now MK had to admit, the other was acting a little...freaky.

He wasn't entirely sure who the silver streak was meant to represent, but for some reason, just glancing at Macaque right now was enough to send chills down his spine.

"Uh... you okay Macaque?" He asked, barely suppressing a shiver as Macaque's eyes locked on to him.

"Oh, I'm...fine." Macaque smiled, and something- something about it was purely unsettling.

MK narrowed his eyes, shoving yet another peach chip into his mouth as he contemplated. Something about the way Macaque was acting felt somewhat familiar to him, but he still couldn't place- oh.

Oh. Oh no.

"Macaque- Macaque listen you better not be emulating who I think you are right now. Don't look at me like that- you better not be-" With every word out of his mouth, MK felt his craving for peach chips drop, a stronger need for dramatics taking it's place. "I- you just- blink motherfucker!"

Macaque shifted, smiling creepily as the shadows condensed around him, and MK did the first thing he could think of.

He screamed.

Almost instantly, the shadows vanished, as Macaque cringed, his hands flying up to cover his ears as his tail curled up in pain. The streak in his hair changed from silver back to yellow.

"Jeez kid, are ya tryin' to blow out my eardrums?" He asked, rubbing his ears to try and get the ringing to go away. MK blinked, registering the colour change- before leaning back, angling himself towards the doorway.

"Mei!" He yelled, "He's copying me!"

"I am not-"

"Mei he's copying me!"

-

"Okay." Mei panted, laying on the floor, staring up at where Wukong was almost at the ceiling, steadily running out of painting space. "I've given the thought some review, and y'know what? I think we need some more backup."

"My thoughts exactly." Pigsy said, standing up from where he'd been sitting in a chair, his head in his hands, having given up on trying to get Wukong down ages before Mei had. "Red? I'm calling your father."

"Be my guest." Red Son said- still dangling from the tree he'd falling into while trying to get Wukong down. Without further ado, Pigsy dialed the Demon Bull King's number.

It took a surprisingly short amount of time for him to arrive, considering he currently lacked the access to his son's fire teleportation. The first thing he did, was remove Red Son from his position of being stuck in a tree (to which he received a quiet "thank you, father").

The second thing he did, was stare up at Wukong in clear dismay.

"How long has he been up there?" He asked, to which Mei and the others shrugged.

"About an hour?" Sandy guessed, no one in the group having been paying actual attention to the time. Demon Bull King sighed.

Without further ado, he took a step back- before using his strength to leap up, and pluck Wukong off the wall, the monkey letting out an undignified shriek. Landing on the ground again, he held the Monkey King up from the back of his scarf, letting him dangle.

"It has come to my attention that you have once again not been taking care of yourself." Demon Bull King said, either not noticing or purposefully ignoring how Wukong glared at him with red eyes, the streak in his hair swapping from yellow to purple. "You do understand I had other things to be doing toda-"

Demon Bull King was cut off as Wukong, having had enough of being held, shifted back-

And kicked the larger demon in the face.

Demon Bull King's grip loosened in his shock, and Wukong used the opportunity to wiggle out, landing on the floor, and running towards his house. He stopped at the doorway, turned around, and stuck his tongue out at the rest of them, before entering inside.

Everyone was silent as the sound of loud yelling and crashing came from the house.

Mei sighed, before holding her hand up.

"Rock paper scissors on who has to go in and deal with....that?"