#should go without saying but biphobes do not fucking interact

[ultfreakme]

Just this week, I had to interact with extremely racist rhetoric about Asians with a de-ager that genuinely put me in a bad spot mentally, but i dud it becayse i thought that person coud be educated. Since 2021, I've had to watch as droves of people commented & replied & posted racist, xenophobic, biphobic arguments about JayJon simply because they didn't enjoy teen Jon. Arguments saying Jay, who in the story is an immigrant freedom fighter, is a terrorist. Arguments saying Jon right now is better off dead which mocked teen Jon fans for finding any aspect of Jon's bisexuality relatable.

I've been trying to be polite & mostly keeping my thoughts offline the wider Internet & public platforms for YEARS. I know of multiple POC (specifically Asian) Jon & Jay stans who have had to go inactive or delete accounts, because certain people have decided even EXPRESSING, merely saying you like Jon as he is now warrants a witch hunt & microaggressions which they assume is "harmless" because they're unwilling to examine any of their own biases. On top of that, rn many queer DC creatives are also constantly getting harassed and literal war criminals are being upheld as good writers, purely for fanon ship reasons.

Do you have any idea how fucking tiresome it is, to fight conservatives who want my meager rights gone online spewing homophobia because Superman came out, alongside comic fans who gladly take up similar arguments just to get their headcanons to be real? Do you have any idea the mental toll it takes, seeing a character who represents real life struggles of fighting against colonialism who LOOKS so much like thousands of queer POC kids, be called a terrorist & a villain because he is in love with a white character?? Not for any grand reason. SOLELY because he's paired with Jon.

Why should we be nice & polite when all it has gotten me in return is trying to explain to people that hey calling freedom fighters terrorists in a story about US hegemony and saying the bi rep is "not correct" is just fuelling bigotry?

But when teen Jon fans make stupid jokes & give slight pushback, we're the bad guys.

You are not the victim. There's literally thousands of you and like, 10 of us who consistently post. DC comics does not have a grand agenda against you, white boy character enjoyer.

The least we ask for is to leave us alone & just let us enjoy canon Jon in peace but we can't post a meta thread or fanart or fucking ANYTHING without people calling us fake fans & throwing in a little bigoted comment to top it all off. Block us. Again, there's like 10 accounts.

Go through the tumblr tag rn, 90% of it is kid Jon posts. We can't have that fucking 10% though can we? No,that'd be the....idfk the DC agenda of the totally scary homeless freedom fighter boy manipulating the pure, totally powerless white boy who can literally topple nations if he wanted and is a grown man. 👏👏👏👏 congrats, you've identified the Agenda & defeated The Evil by putting down POC characters, their struggles, & looking down upon bi repbecause it diesnt specifically fot your vision of bisexuality or your experience. Oh and also, a bunch of marginalized DC craeatives probably hate you. You know, with all the insults thrown their way for their efforts (because Conservative Propaganda man and War Criminal will get the queer experience far better than the trans activists & queer writers).

[scoobydoodean]

The only issue I've ever had with DeanLisa is that it reads too much to me like the "I've met you only a handful of times and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" ala Disney Princess + Prince trope, and I just can't stand that trope. That's just a personal preference though

But I've never had a problem with Lisa herself - I think she's really fucking cool actually, and that she really did care about Dean. I think they both were reaching for an ideal, a dream, and they found solace in each other, but the circumstances that led them together (the second/third/fourth) time were not conducive to a lasting relationship.

I think it's more biphobic to be super anti DeanLisa tbh? (as a concept, not saying you have to ship them). Bc it's denying that part of Dean, like people really wanna dive deep into Dean's queerness in the way he interacts with men, but it's incredibly biphobic to then deny a relationship he had with a woman that meant a lot to him. That relationship doesn't take away from his queerness, he's still bi even while he's with a woman. Sure, I can see the argument behind comp cishet relationships and how that's bi/homophobic, but I think in this situation it's more nuanced than that? There's so many factors that lead into Dean going to Lisa (mainly feeling completely abandoned by everyone..which...he more-or-less was, be it on purpose (Cas) or not (Sam)) after such incredible trauma, he's obviously going to go to someone who he can find comfort in, that he already knows, who cares for him and he cares for back...I don't think that's comp cishet

I guess I lived in my own little SPN bubble bc I had no idea people hated her so much until fairly recently, as I started seeing posts and stumbling upon old fics where she's written as a nasty bitch for NO good reason

I appreciate your thoughts on them, tbh bc I feel like I don't ever see people talk about them or it's in a very disparaging way

Yeah I agree with you. I have no problem with people just saying "I don't like it. It just isn't my thing. It's boring, it doesn't appeal to me, I do not vibe with it, I like another ship better, he should have gone to Cassie instead, I don't think the storyline ever should have been done because of x,y, z" etc. What is sooo weird to me is people who can't live with just saying they don't like it and have to make the fact that they don't like it some kind of moral issue and/or talk about it in a way that ends up just displaying their own (internalized or externalized) biphobia and misogyny (edit: and even ableism—because I have seen that one quite a bit too).

I have seen people say:

Lisa and Dean are both used up because they've had so much sex with other people and therefore the relationship is nothing more than an expression of their mutually low standards, where simultaneously neither of them are good enough for the other because they have had too much sex. (Which was then back tracked to Dean being the only one who is all used up from all the sex he has had, because we wouldn't want to be misogynists).

Dean and Lisa's relationship is conservative christian (as someone raised in a conservative christian home, I can assure you that is not the case).

Dean and Lisa is a heteronormative relationship and is therefore bad. That is... not only very debatable, but based on what? Why? What is so "heteronormative" about it? I'll pay someone $50 if they can tell me without being biphobic, homophobic, or misogynist, or basically line for line describing a post-canon or AU destiel fic they’ve recced before just replacing Lisa with Cas. (Having a home is heteronormative? Parenting a child? Living together? What is it? I can never get a straight (heh) answer.)

Dean/Lisa is biphobic. Again... why? Because Dean is with a woman? Do... do we know what bisexual means? Are we sure?? Because it sounds like—frankly—the queer community yet again being one of the more biphobic communities around, and saying bi people are only interesting and acceptable when they are in same sex romances, and otherwise they are heteronormative and bad and wrong and boring. Which is a great thing to make bi people on the internet (whether you count yourself among them or not) read. Like. I think the way we interpret many characters who are not explicitly and openly bisexual as bisexual has also in some sense poisoned people into treating bi-ness as like... an exciting accessory, instead of a sexuality. Which is again—not how bisexuality works, but is how people on Tumblr often seem to treat bisexuality when they act like it is an accessory being thrown on or taken off by a character. "Well Dean isn't wearing his bisexuality accessory right now since he's in a 'het' romance, so he is not shiny enough and I am not interested in him". It's just fucking weird and it makes me uncomfortable.

Also, I don't know why this comes as a shock to some people, but calling something "het" is not inherently an argument proving that thing is bad and wrong, and suggesting that it is is also fucking weird.

Edit: Another one I forgot—"Dean is messed up/'damaged' therefore Lisa should never have allowed him in her home". Because we think people with PTSD shouldn't be shown kindness by people who don't have PTSD, I guess, and people without PTSD should avoid people who have PTSD at all costs.

Like. It is no secret that I utterly despise Sam/Amelia. But you know what I don't do? I don't go around calling it heteronormative, or applying my weird conservative christian leftovers about sexual purity to the relationship, or saying Sam was too messed up in the head and a "normal" woman never should have allowed someone so "damaged" to be in her life, in order to shout from the roof tops how "problematic" it is for them to be together. I just say "I don't like it because Amelia is not an enjoyable character to me. I find her extremely awkward and uncomfortable and I don't like the way she talks to Sam and don't understand the romance."

[crucifythenburn]

Dear bi blogs,

I just had to unfollow a supposedly bisexual blog because they kept reblogging biphobic rhetoric, and honestly, wtf man. Like, bi women barely have any safe spaces as it is. I don't need to see how 'bi women need to stop complaining about how Lesbian's won't date them boohoohoo' without a shred of nuance on a fucking bi blog! You look stupid and your contribution to the degradation, dehumanization, and infantilization of bi women is not progressive. It's lazy and I'm tired.

Like, yes, call out lesbophobia in the bi community. Yes. I'm here for it. I'll cosign it. I'll reblog the shit out of it. Because a Lesbian's boundaries are hers and they should be honored and respected just like any other woman's boundaries should. But that doesn't mean that you get to hop the fence and participate in biphobia as some misguided attempt at solidarity without being dragged by your ears for it just because you're a fellow bi. If a women-loving-woman won't date another women-loving-woman solely because that woman is bisexual, guess what? Guess. Fucking. What. Did you guess? No? Well let me help you. *bangs pots and pans* That is biphobia. And the reverse would be lesbophobic. Honestly, this isn't fucking hard.

I understand that there is a ton of nuance here that I haven't the patience to unpack in this post (but if you want to go that route I have ample capability and time today), but the fact forever remains that unless someone's sexuality somehow contributes to your oppression, having an aversion toward an individual or a group based on that sexuality is, by definition, phobic. That is a real thing. No mental gymnastics required.

And I know this is a crazy concept, but you, as a bisexual, are allowed to call out biphobia, whenever, wherever. And while everyone is entitled to the intellectual laziness of preference, everyone is also allowed to have their biphobia challenged and to die mad about it. So how about show some solidarity with actual bi people, and stop trying to win the Woke Bi Olympics by co-signing those who think it's undesirable to have the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, regardless of how that capacity is even fucking expressed sexually. These people don't deserve our solidarity.

Do better, bi blogs. We need you.

[thyfavouritegay]

Thy Favourite Gay: Intro to Me

Hello! ‘Tis I, Thomas, AKA thyfavouritegay here on Tumblr. My blog is... sort of (completely) a mess of things, so I write this to be a me masterpost. In this post, I will be going over numerous things, including: fandoms I am in/will interact with, some triggers and DNIs, as well as some fun facts. This, I predict, will be terrible to write as well as read, so I suppose I should get started.

Fun facts:

I am a mild grammar/spelling nerd, and although I am trying to not to bug people with corrections these days, I will talk in what my friends (both real-life and online) call a “Shakespearian”, “old English-ish”, and “fancy as fuck” tone quite often. I like calling it my “heretically incorrect mocking of old English”, but I’ll take what I can get.

I am genderfluid, omniromantic, and asexual. To me, this is to say that my gender changes and shifts---which is why I say “default to they/them” instead of just “they/them” because I don’t want to be seen as bearing unchanging pronouns, I can feel romantic attraction to all genders in different ways and attraction ratios (like, male:female:enby umbrella, how often to I catch feelings for each) but do not feel comfortable using the labels bi or pan because of the assumptions and biases behind them, and I feel no attraction to anyone sexually. If you have questions, feel free to ask me (not because I am queer and have any manner of obligation to explain myself, but because I enjoy rambling)!

I have way too many OCs, help. Also too many fictional worlds.

I am bilingual! I am fluent in English and French (my native language is English though), and am also learning Norwegian and Japanese.

Organizational Tags

I use ‘em. Here is a link that will take you to a post explaining all of them!

Fandoms I will/have interact(ed) with:

Podcasts:

Welcome to Nightvale

Brimstone Valley Mall

The Bright Sessions (Including TCT and TAMA)

The Scarab Archives

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality

Look Up

Comics (Includes manga, webcomics, and other things of the like):

Hanamonogatari

Batman

Astro Boy

Superman

Whisper Me a Love Song

Animated TV shows and movies (Cartoons, anime, and other of the like):

Steven Universe (Including SUF and the movie)

Death Note

Yuri!!! on Ice

Dead End: Paranormal Park

Centaurworld

Spiderverse series

Astro Boy

Nimona

Gravity Falls

Barbie Mermaidia

The Owl House

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Avatar the Last Airbender

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Unanimated TV shows and movies:

Star Trek (Specifically TNG and DS9, with some LWD, SNW, VOY, and TOS)

Good Omens

Umbrella Academy

The Barbie Movie

Community

Goncharov.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Heartstopper

Gameboys

Racket Boys

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Books:

Artemis Fowl (And sometimes Alex Rider in relation)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (Including the rest of the universe)

Iron Widow

The School for Good and Evil

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Plays or musicals:

Romeo and Juliet

Hamilton

Games:

Dungeons and Dragons

Plants versus Zombies (One and Two)

Undertale

Deltarune

Undertale Yellow

Triggers and DNIs:

Warning: This may be a triggering section for people, therefore reader discretion is advised! Stay safe! If you choose not to read this bit, that’s cool too! Enjoy my blog!

DNIs:

Pro-shippers

Supporters (not just fans, people can consume toxic media without supporting the toxicity of it) of the oh-so-popular Dream

Ableists, racists, islamaphobes, anti-semites, misogynists, aphobes, biphobes, homophobes, Zionists, and transphobes (This shouldn’t need to be said, but I will write it anyways because sometimes people are just stupid on the internet.)

People make fun of others for innocent interests and/or unchangeable things about themselves.

Triggers:

Kidnapping 

Self-harm

Suicide

Rape/sexual assault

Trafficking (not traffic itself)

Eating disorders

[scrapyardboyfriends]

2021 Emmerdale Wishlist

(I was inspired by @softlass27 and wanted to do one of my own)

Some Overall Things

- More community involvement. I know, I know Covid, but hopefully they’ll be able to ease the restrictions before the year is out so it still applies. And aside from that, they need to work within the restrictions to do better. I still thought that clothing exchange in the cafe was a really good attempt to allow different characters to mix.

- In general, they need to really figure out how to work within the covid restrictions better because it has been very noticeable at times and the whole show has felt like it’s been a slower pace, including individual scenes and it’s a problem. 

- More appropriate story lengths. I’m tired of these never ending stories that just meander along. 

- Better story structure. Stories seem to either magic into being or they’re so slow to start you wonder if there is a story. I just want stories to have proper lead ins and build up and actual climaxes that feel worthwhile. And I want to understand the point of a story both as it’s going and for sure once it has finished. I don’t want to have to keep asking the question, “Is it going somewhere or is this just bad writing”.

- Work on relationship stories. Stop putting terribly suited people together. At least try and build relationships up naturally and allow them to have some time before just shoving them together. Stop having other characters talk about how people should be together. I want to see the actual couple together and understand why. If a couple isn’t working, actually break them up. Cheating stories can work but make them happen for an actual reason and not just cause you feel like drama. 

- In general, work on motivations for characters because so many people this year have just done things for little to no real reason. 

Character Focused things

- I too am willing to wait till the 50th Anniversary for Robert’s triumphant return. Enjoy that dad and son time Ryan, your time will come. Hopefully post pandemic restrictions and when there’s a new decent producer who has some robron nostalgia. 

- In the meantime, I would like the show to allow Aaron to become a real character again. While, I’ve very much been fine with his massive break this year because it’s given me time to process him not having a tall blond glued to his side, I would like it if he got a bit more screen time next year. And I would like for that screen time to include interactions with characters that are not Liv and Chaddy. I’d love to see him get a friend, whether that’s Mack or someone else, I just want him to have someone else to talk to. I would also like to see him have an actual story even if he is a supporting character, but make him a consistent one, not support to the support and not just a cameo for an episode or two. I’d love to see him have more to do than a relationship story but if he must, for the the love of god at least put some amount of effort into it. Or just let him go on random bad dates that he gets to talk to his new friend about how no one is right. 

- I want Chaddy to break up. Whether it’s actually a cheating story or they just realize how unsuited they are for each other after all, I don’t care. Let the Christmas wedding curse persist. (In lieu of that, I want them on screen as little as possible together and if they are they better not be having any problems or be overly sappy and if I hear more than one or two “Graaacieees” I’m out)

- As for Liv, either Isobel can get a big break with her music and Liv can take a never ending trip to Dublin or they need to do better. If she stays, I want to see her become an adult. I want to see her make some choices about her future, get a job etc. I’d still like them to explore what a relationship means to her without having it be a plot point in the next abuser’s story. That still means something to me and I’d like to see it on screen for real and not just in the background. 

- For the love of god give Matty a story. Let him date, let him and Amy finally get together but like...do it better this time. Let him move out of Moira’s and stop being a footnote in her stories. Let him get promoted at the HOP or get a new job. Go back to his transition story. Let him interact with his friends more. Just almost anything really. 

- With Charity, we all know Vanessa will be back eventually and they’ll put them back together, so in the meantime, I’d like to them to start figuring out a balance for her. I agree somewhat that the regressive behavior she’s engaging in now feels a little ridiculous but that’s mostly because it’s baseless. They need to find real reasons and motivations for her to have her scheming fun the way they did with Robert and Cain. So first things first, I would get her the hell out of the pub because that was always a bad idea. I want her back in a business that allows her to wheel and deal and scheme without it always having to be random criminal activity. I also NEED them to allow her to say she’s bisexual on screen and to own that and to stop having writers put in those stupid unnecessary biphobic jokes. And they need to allow her to realize that she’s okay on her own and that any growth she had wasn’t only down to Vanessa. 

- For Cain and Moira, I want them to actually stay together this time and not immediately get broken up by something absurd. They can be tested, but only so they can prove that they are really working on their issues. 

- I’d like Laurel and Jai to get through their grief and stay together. 

- I want Jamie to get a fucking back bone and break free of Andrea altogether and break free of Kim too. I’d be cool with him and Mack actually being friends. I’d like him to get a real love interest too. 

- For Mack, I want him to keep being the snarky, fun breath of fresh air he has been but I’d like to ground him a little bit too. I want him to find something real in the village, whether that’s a friend or a love interest. Jamie and Aaron are good friend options for him. Just someone to give him a real solid tie to the village and give him some to talk to/confide in. If they wanted to make him bi, I would not be opposed. I’d also like him to make some progress with Moira in the next year so that doesn’t remain stagnant. 

- For Kim, I want this stupid story with Cain to already be over because it’s based on nothing. I know she’s supposed to get a love interest and I’m already dreading it. I do want her to get a love interest but I want it to feel real with real feelings and not come out of nowhere like I expect it to. I think Kim needs real connections in general. That brief period where she was friends with Rhona was good. They should give her another friend. Just. something to make her feel less like a cartoon villain even if she still is an antagonist. 

- I want someone to run over Luke and Wendy. I want them the hell out of Vic’s life and the hell out of the village. I still can’t fathom why they ever introduced them or had them stick around. 

- I need Harriet and Will to go away. They’re useless and they’ve overstayed their welcome at this point. I want to free Dawn because I feel like she could be a decent character if she wasn’t shackled to them. If the Malone story FINALLY ends with Harriet and Will both leaving, that would be a miracle. 

- I want Dan and Amelia to move to Croydon so someone else can have their house. They’re just not relevant characters anymore. 

- I want the new vicar and his son to be good characters and for more of their family to come in, hopefully female family members so there can be more women of color on the show too. But also I just want them to all be good characters with good connections and good stories. 

- If Marlon and Rhona are going to get together again, I want them to actually work out as a couple because I’ve quite enjoyed their friendship over the years and I think they could work as a couple again if they just maintain what they’ve had and don’t ruin it. 

- I’d like this whole stupid Al story to blow up in his face quick so we can move the hell on. If Al’s going to stick around, I need him to do something interesting. Either ground him more and give him better relationships or have him go full villain. 

- For Gabby, I want to see her continue to grow and get more adult stories, once that don’t include her meddling in people’s relationships. I’d like to see them explore a relationship story with her too. If she wants to realize she’s bi or something too and that she and Liv are meant to be, I’d be fine with that too. 

- More Jimmy and Nicola but don’t use that screen time to destroy them. 

- For Meena, I’d like them to tone her down just a bit and resolve the weird petty stuff between her and Manpreet. I’m cool with them exploring her and David but I don’t want it to feel as rushed or haphazard. 

- For Amy, I kind of want Tracy to just blow the whole Frank thing just so she can deal with the consequences and move on. Or just have her tell Matty as they’re getting closer and have him be like “eh my mum killed Emma so this is fine” and then it brings them closer. I just want it out there so it’s not hanging over her head anymore. I also just want her on screen more and with Matty and being friends with Vic. 

- For Vic, other than being free of the Posners, I’d just like her to reclaim her life a bit more, maybe see her at the HIDE more, maybe catering more, maybe a better love interest.

- I’d like to see Billy get something decent too that’s not just another lame attempt at brothers at war with Ellis. Let him find a career he likes, make a new friend, finally make peace with Aaron, something. 

- Ellis can move to Dubai. 

- Sam and Lydia just need to keep being their perfect selves. Give them some fun little stories. 

- The Mandy/Paul/Vinny saga needs to END now. There’s just no reason Vinny should be keeping all of this quiet. It’s dumb. Paul needs to go. Mandy needs to steal Paddy away from Chas or something. Vinny needs to hang out with Sam and Lydia and Samson again and maybe find a better career than whatever scrap jobs Aaron can throw his way. 

- Belle needs to go back to maybe being a vet and maybe date someone that’s not an affair?! 

- Leyla and Liam need to just stay together or break up for good. 

- Rishi needs to stop being treated like a child.

- Tracy needs to just have this baby so we don’t have to hear about how she’s pregnant anymore (though I have enjoyed the reprieve lately) Are we sure Nate can’t go to prison after all? 

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[theenjoninecollective]

Hey, I'm just asking this out of interest because I want to understand other people's thoughts. So I don't mean to be rude or anything, ship whatever you want. But why did you choose to ship enjonine over enjoltaire, as the later is such a popular one?

Mod @viridescentlights 

Is this your way of flirting, hmm? If it was, it’s not working the way you want it. That aside, you say you want to understand and that it’s out of interest, but if it was, why the question at the end? That’s downright condescending. Simply put, your ask never meant to respect our opinions, in the end. In what way does this benefit you at all, hmm? I ask this because the timing of this ask, though given in January, is suspect. Fandom activity in Les Mis has been quite low, but it always has been given the fluctuating interest of people towards it. Furthermore, there are different factions in the group, and I’ve observed that your group is very active. So why bother us, when your group has enough fan art, fanfic, and whatnot? We’re busy enjoying on our own. It does not matter if it’s popular because that is our interest. Unless you want another fic war because you’re bored? Pfft. You could’ve asked in a better way, you know? We could’ve organized a sort of fic exchange and whatnot! Instead you go ride on your high horse and be demeaning. It’s annoying already. 

So, if you want an exchange, just let us know, mate. It’s not that hard to do. Plus, it’s fun. I’ve been able to do one with a good friend who ships enjoltaire. Why destroy when we can make art, mate? Let this be our enemies-to-friends-to-maybe-partners story, yeah? Haha. But seriously. Do not do this rude ask again. 

Anyway, I’ll let my friend do the nuanced discussion. Ta. 

Mod @decembersiris: 

Just because a ship is popular that does not mean I’m going to ship it. Often times now most of my ships are not the popular ones because in the fandoms I am in, the more popular ones end up being really toxic, I have found. And this includes Les Miserables and the enjoltaire ship as well.

Why I don’t ship enjoltaire: the ship itself

I have watched the musical and read the book. I have also watched multiple films and TV series such as the 2012 movie and the French 2000 miniseries. Of course there are more out there and more that I have watched but I’m not going to go into detail, because the point is that I am well reversed in the mediums of the story itself. And in all that I have watched and the book that I have read, the ship does not appeal to me. In the book, it is explicitly said that Enjolras hates Grantaire. And that immediately puts me off against the ship because why would I ship a couple where one of them completely hates the partner. That does not tickle my fancy, regardless if Grantaire loves him. I understand that there are multiple Greek references to homosexual couples to represent Enjolras and Grantaire, but frankly, I don’t care. And I’m allowed to not care. For me, just because there is symbolism, that does not mean the ship is without a doubt canon.  Because as Hugo wrote, regardless of the symbolism, Enjolras hates him.

As some enjoltaire shippers throw at enjonine shippers, that we are homophobic because it is written in the book Enjolras has not interest in women. Yep, I understand that that is there. However the way Hugo shapes this information leaves a lot to be interpreted. Enjolras may not be interested in women RIGHT NOW because he’s so focused on his revolution. That is very possible and very real, that he may not want to establish a relationship because he knows what is at risk, that pursuing a relationship will only lead to further tragedy because he knows what he is doing is putting his life at risk. The way I interpret this sentence though is that he is not interested right now because of the revolution and also because Enjolras, to me, is asexual. Just because he isn’t interested in women DOES NOT MEAN (and many enjoltaire shippers willfully ignore this point) he is interested in men. Enjolras could very well be asexual and not interested in anyone at all.

As for the musical, I appreciate the friends dynamic and I enjoy the interactions they have. But for me, that is not enough for me to ship them. Often times friendships and especially male friendships are default labeled as homosexual which to me is erasure of genuine male friendships which isn’t right. So I appreciate the friendship between them, but that isn’t enough for me to ship them.

Why I don’t ship enjoltaire: the shippers

A huge reason I do not ship enjoltaire has to do with the shippers. At first I could tolerate the shippers but as they became more and more harassing of pretty much the smallest ship in the Les Mis fandom, I began to get pretty frustrated with them. Which resulted in my hatred of the ship as well. Granted, not all enjoltaire shippers are intolerant fucks, but a lot love to overstep their boundaries. They, for some reason, cannot stay in their lane, and continuously harass enjonine shippers and infiltrate the enjonine tag with their bullshit. It’s almost as if they’re so insecure because not everyone ride or dies with their ship that they have to go and ridicule the enjonine shippers. And they frame in the guise of “enjonine shippers are homophobes!” and cry about it in our tag. Calling us homophobes just because we don’t ship their ship is incredibly ludicrous because shipping is FUN and HARMLESS. I don’t care what you ship as long as you stay in your lane and don’t try to force your ship onto others! Those who can’t differentiate between real life and fiction and real life and shipping need to take a step back and reevaluate their lives.

I think it’s funny because many enjoltaire shippers call us queer erasure in an attempt to come off as “woke” which is quite hypocritical on their part because they know that many of us enjonine shippers either view Enjolras as bisexual or asexual. For them to call us that, to me, shows just how ignorant and pigheaded they are; they are fake woke, bashing us for not believing what they do when people are allowed to have different opinions. They’re the ones blatantly ignoring the possibility that Enjolras is asexual or bisexual or even both which, I could turn onto them and call them acephobes and biphobes. But I don’t go to their tag and post a plethora of reason as to why I hate enjoltaire and call them acephobes and biphobes.

Regardless of whether or not enjoltaire is implied in the text, that does not mean I have to ship it either! The ship does not appeal to me. Even if they frickin kissed in canon, the ship would not appeal to me. Victor Hugo could rise from the grave and scream that Enjolras and Grantaire fucked and I would not care. I would not ship them because I don’t like them! For some reason, enjoltaire shippers have their heads so far up their asses, demanding we ship their ship because it’s “canon” through symbolism. They critique us for “not have comprehension skills of the book” but guess what, there are so many people who don’t ship canon! There is nothing wrong with that! And enjoltaire isn’t even confirmed as canon! As far as I’m concerned, it’s all headcanon because nothing confirms a solid relationship. Symbolism can be interpreted. The great thing about literature is that everything is up for interpretation and not everyone has to believe the same thing. There are so many ships out there that go against canon but for some reason enjoltaire shippers think they should get a free pass and everyone needs to ship their ship because their ship is homosexual. But that’s not how fandoms work. Enjoltaire shippers do not have the  right to ridicule enjonine or any other ship just because they think they’re more woke than others for shipping a gay couple.

There was a point where I came close to multishipping Enjolras with Grantaire as well as with Éponine but that concept sank so quick. It’s because of intolerable enjoltaire shippers that I refuse to ship Enjolras with Grantaire and ship him with Éponine even harder.

Why I ship enjonine

In all the different mediums of consuming Les Miserables, I always found myself absolutely adoring Éponine and that’s because I found myself relating to her more than any other character in Les Mis. She is an endearing character with many flaws, feelings, and complexities about her. When I actively found myself liking a character, I’m most likely going to find a ship for that character because I want my characters to be happy and paired. I was also drawn to Enjolras for the very reasons his friends are drawn to him. He’s inspiring, charismatic, and someone who has his flaws as well, who has done wrong for what he believes is right. Both characters are complex because of their beliefs and who they are and I adore them for that. Because of this I want them both to be happy and why not let them be happy together? Éponine could not be happy with Marius because Marius loved Cosette. She could find that happiness with Enjolras! Yep he might not be interested in women because he is focused on his revolution, but the beauty of fanfiction allows authors to tweak canon to suit their fantasies. And there is nothing wrong with that. That’s the whole purpose of fanfiction. The idea of having my two favorite characters get together makes me happy and anyone who thinks they can police my happiness can fuck right off. This ship has gotten me through some of the toughest times of my life and I’ll be damned if I let other peoples’ shitty and harmful opinions devalue that.

The fact that both of these characters have not interacted makes things even more interesting because of the potential they have! I also believe that if they had interacted, their dynamics would be very interesting to see unfold. Because they are both so headstrong and firm in their beliefs, it would make for such engaging fics and it has. I’ve read many enjonine fics and they are so well written and so fun to read because they feel so genuine and sincere to the characters that it makes me ship them even harder. While sparse, there is beautiful enjonine art out there and as a shipper, it makes me giddy.

Not only that, I have met some very sweet and interesting people in the fandom. While very small, most enjonine shippers are so openhearted and encouraging and because of this ship I have met beautiful people made a few friends as well. They have been nothing but kind and have helped me grow as a writer. Because of them my love for enjonine is as strong as it is. While I may not actively participate in the fandom for now, enjonine is the hill I’ll die on. They are my otp because they have helped me through such hard times and as a result made me so happy. So what if I don’t have canon to validate them? So what if other people adamantly despise the ship? If they despise me too, fine by me. I don’t need that negativity and toxicity in my life. I’ll do me and ship what I please and that’s enjonine.

[starkinventor]

How to uplift & love bi and pansexual people in the rpc (& hopefully always??) even if you yourself are not bi/pansexual:

please note this post is in direct response to the post made by @goblinrph about lesbians because someone decided it would be cute to say the post was biphobic (spoiler: it wasn’t). this post is specifically directed at bisexual/pansexual women as the main topic of discussion is focused around wlw relationships.

listen to women who say they’re bi or pansexual. we’re not lying or making shit up because we “can’t decide” or “want both at once”. we’re attracted to people who fall on either end of the gender spectrum and people everywhere in between!

if a character you’re playing is revealed a bi or pansexual, do not continue playing them as hetero. not only is that rude af, it perpetuates the belief that bi/pan people don’t exist. 

do not write a character as bi/pansexual only on paper. what i mean by that is don’t say they’re bi and then refuse to write relationships with women. i get it, it’s easier to get interactions if you say they’ll sleep with men but that’s erasure dude and it’s not cool. 

UNLEARN BI/PANPHOBIA. it’s so easy to say ‘well they just can’t choose’. it’s just not true. i’ve been told irl that women won’t date me because i’ve been with men and men just fetishize the fuck out of the fact that i’ve been with women. none of this is okay.

to that end, stop fetishizing wlw relationships in general. our sexuality is not a performance. it’s not here for strictly pornographic consumption. it’s not cute to ask someone to have a threesome the minute you find out they “like both”. that goes for rp too - don’t have your male muse ask a bi/pan lady to have a threesome, and don’t have your female muse ask a bi/pan man to “let her watch”. it’s gross on both ends.

actively support bi and pan women. this one should go without saying. we’re real and we’re valid just like lesbians.

take an interest in bi/pan muses. make that female muse who’s in a wlw relationship! make that male muse that’s interested in mlm relationships! but if you’re going to make a bi/pan muse, they need to be bi/pan. not just pretending for interactions. 

the terms femme and butch apply to all wlw relationships. 

reminder: wlw relationships are valid as fuck and should be represented as more than just performance for the hetero gaze.

[mattandsaraproductions]

Catching up on Batwoman, having intentionally skipped it for a few weeks so I could watch the first few episodes (I haven't seen 6 or 7 yet, so this is based on the first five episodes only) all in one go, and despite the overall good quality of the show, I’m disappointed in one specific change from the comics. We don’t see this scene:

So, one reason I miss this scene is because it’s a powerful scene. But it also has Kate actually say she’s gay. Which so far on the show, we don’t see. We see Kate’s relationships, with Sophie in flashbacks, and Regan in the present. And that’s good. They aren’t trying to avoid showing that she’s a lesbian. And yet. We don’t actually see Kate tell anyone that. Not only do we skip over the part where Kate’s sense of duty refuses to let her lie to advance her career, we skip over the part where she says she’s a lesbian. In ep. 3, Thomas Elliot makes an offhand reference to Kate being a lesbian, but again, she never says it. It takes until ep. 4, and that’s as a voiceover/letter to Bruce.

My other problem with losing that scene is that it unintentionally re-focuses Kate’s decision. In the comics, she refuses to put her career above who she is, and refuses to put the life she wants over the ideals (”a cadet shall not lie”) she believes in. That’s why she’s so broken afterwards (in a way that the show’s Kate isn’t shown to be) - because Kate believed in the military, and is gutted by being rejected by staying true to it. She refuses to hide who she is in part because telling the truth is what she ought to do as a cadet. Look at this scene. We see exactly how difficult this is for her. In the show, on the other hand, this decision is presented more like Kate choosing between the military and Sophie. We lack an equivalent to the scene above, so all we have is what she says to Sophie afterwards.

So to me, watching the show we never get the sense that Kate chose herself over her career. Worse, there’s the idea that Kate is play-acting a cadet, that because she’s rich she can come out and not have any problems with being kicked out of the academy. She asks Sophie to go on a Mediterranean cruise with her, she’s flippant about the whole DADT thing, and Sophie contrasts her own life with Kate’s by saying it’s a “luxury” to be offended. That’s a completely different character to the comics, in a way that I’m not convinced the showrunners understand. Look at that scene above, and then watch the flashback scene in the show.

OK, there’s my issues with the flashback scene. One more thing:

What in the biphobic hell do the writers think they’re doing with Sophie? We get this weird conversation between Kate and Mary about how Sophie is married to a man. That scene needed to go like this: “Wait your ex is married to a man?” / “Yeah? She’s bi”. Instead, we have this awkward bit where Mary goes “Is she bi? Bicurious?” It comes off as the writers trying to show that they know the lingo, but they clearly don't understand anything. How did that make it beyond the first draft? Worse, the show doesn't actually present what the truth is here, because we get no discussion or any insight into Sophie’s own life.

It’s this oddly biphobic thing, making the Designated Love Interest married to a man so she can have angst about still having feelings for Kate. Like, the issue is that one of them refused to hide who she is for her career, and the other was willing to do so. That would still color their interactions even if Sophie were married to a woman. Because it’s been years, and she thought she moved on, but oops she maybe regrets what she did and still has feelings for Kate.

I’m sure the writers think it’s clear what they’re doing, but it’s not. It’s not clear between a) Sophie is bi and hasn't told her husband; and b) Sophie is a lesbian who decided to stay in the closet for various reasons. Neither of those is bad, but the show needs to choose. The writers need to demonstrate that they understand this difference, and make clear what the story here is. Because without telegraphing what they mean to be writing, the unfortunately biphobic third option is: c) Sophie is bi which means she’s actually a lesbian because bisexuality isn’t real. 

Since we lack any sense of Sophie’s perspective, that’s a possibility. And it shouldn't be. But after that weird scene with Mary, I don’t know what the writers want me to think. The issue shouldn't be that Sophie is married to a man, it’s that she lied about her relationship with Kate. Except - that issue isn’t between Sophie and Kate. It’s between Sophie and her husband. Kate’s feelings here mean fuck all. It doesn't matter why Sophie decided to remain closeted. The idea that a character should have a say in another person’s relationships because they used to date is... kind of toxic? And I in no way trust the writers to see that. And I really don’t like character-focused morality, especially in the Bat-family. “Batwoman is right because she’s the lead” is no better than “Batman is right because he’s Batman.” 

So, how do the writers want me to view all this with Sophie? As far as I’m concerned, if understanding what a character is thinking/feeling requires me to read clickbaity interviews, then the writers have failed this city show.

[5hfanfiction]

a reason to smile in the morning

check out my wattpad @ longer_hours if you wanna se more of my works ! wrote this in like half an hour also and didn’t proofread so have fun ! 

Camila thinks college is just the best. 

So she misses her mom and everything about Sinu’s presence. And she misses her dads bad jokes because let’s face it, hers aren’t any better. And don’t even get her started on how much she misses Sofi and her dogs. 

Sure, she gets homesick. But like, she’s only two wish hours away from home. There’s a train on campus that can take her right home. She doesn’t see an issue. 

So college is pretty great. 

She hasn’t really made a group of friends yet, but she’s never been the type of person to need social interaction. And going to a big school is really nice because she can stay in on the weekends and not have to worry about being that girl that stays in on the weekends. 

She went random and ended up with a great roommate, Dinah, who gives her just the right amount of talking to not have to worry about losing all social skills. 

And the freedom. That’s her favorite part. There’s like, an hour or two of classes every day and then literally nothing else. It’s amazing. She went from a six hour school day, a seven hour work day, three hours of homework, and maybe some sleep, to two hours of class and then 22 hours of free time. She likes it. 

(And she could go on about the food, so she won’t start because this isn’t about that).

(But they have the best cheesy bread in the dining halls omg).

She might’ve been premature saying that the freedom is her favorite part. Camila has always had a tight schedule that she followed, so her favorite part is probably getting to find one here. It’s easier to follow a schedule when you have so much time to fill too, because naps can be a part of it and everything is just so happy. 

So, she does basically the same every day. 

Wake up. Sleep for a few more minutes. Wake up again. Hit snooze again. Finally actually wake up cause Dinah groans in her sleep meaning the beast a second away from killing Camila. 

Throw on some sweats, because like she’d try to look nice, but it’s an 8 am so why bother?

Throw on some socks. Throw on some shoes. Go brush her teeth next to the pretty girl doing her make up in the bathroom. Go back to find a suitable shirt. End up picking a big sweatshirt.

And then class and then nap time. 

And it’s nice for a while, following a schedule that allows for so much downtime, but her schedule is the same every day and it doesn’t take long for things to get a little boring. Usually she’d attempt to make more friends but she has some and she doesn’t want to lose the grip she has on them, so Camila does the next best thing to kill time. 

She makes a tinder. 

Now, Camila has had a tinder before. She’s had many tinders before actually. She has a habit of making one with the goal to hoe it up, then deleting it after like an hour cause she’s bored of boys. 

This time though, Camila sets it to girls, cause why not? She’s always been openly bisexual, but boys are so much easier. 

She prefers girls but she can’t remember ever not being a nervous wreck around them. 

Her first girlfriend was a few years ago. They met at a pride parade and Camila thought she was just the most beautiful thing to exist. A friend gave her an in and Camila somehow got through the nerves and made a move with some shitty pick up line. Although her dorkiness worked, she remembers very vividly having such extreme anxiety that she actually almost called an ambulance cause of chest pains. That girl turned out to be a bit of a biphobic lesbian, and a bit of a psychopath, so that didn’t really help with her nerves.

Her second girlfriend was equally, if not more so nerve-racking. Camila still can’t really place why she’s always the one making the moves if she gets so nervous doing things, but she also knows most girls never do shit and end up flirting for months until an outside source needs to come in. 

Her third girlfriend doesn’t exist yet. So tinder might be what she needs to meet someone now that she’s an adult at college and ready for an adult relationship. 

She ends up deleting the account three hours later. Not really because she’s bored just because she can’t really imagine ever having a chance with any of the girls she matched with. 

Dinah yells at her because if they matched then they’re interested why would Camila not accept that, but Camila is just like, super insecure. Like what if it was an accident? 

She had only had the balls to message one girl but she probably hadn’t noticed since the account didn’t exist very long. She never really messages people first but something about this girl was calling out. Camila felt like she had to do something or she’d regret it. 

Messaging “hey” probably wasn’t the most attention grabbing action though. She got a reply, just “hey back :)” and like, that’s kind of why she deleted it. This girl was like, not just pretty but pretty pretty. And she looked a little familiar? Camila couldn’t help but feel like the thing was a joke somehow. 

So she decides to forget about the pretty girl with the dragon fly tattoo. 

Dinah still gives her enough shit to force her to go out that weekend. It’s a Friday afternoon when she finds out Camila deleted it so later that night she finds herself at a sleezy frat party. 

The going out lifestyle really isn’t for her though, and she realizes after the third drink spilled on her. 

She stays out til 3 am with Dinah and her friend Normani, and although she didn’t like the party scene, she is glad she spent more time with Dinahs friend, she’s intimidatingly pretty but her and Camila really got along once she started talking more. 

She’s going a little girl crazy by the time she finally falls asleep. 

She spends the weekend telling herself to focus on school. Focus on actually going to the gym and on eating healthy since there are so many options now. She tells herself it’s fine to go over a few months without kissing a girl (is it really?) and she tells herself to just not think about girls. 

And by the time someday night hits it has worked out in her head. 

Now here’s the twist. 

It comes Monday morning. 

Camila follows the same routine every day. And when you follow the same routine every day, you’re going to end up seeing the same people every day when you do your things that happen to overlap. 

She wakes up. Doesn’t really wake up. Feels Dinah’s threat. Force herself to throw on some socks, some shoes, some pants. and then she goes to the bathroom. And then she brushes her teeth next to the pretty girl who’s doing her makeup. 

So she’s seen this girl every day for months now, leaning into the sink putting on eyeliner and she’s had a couple of thoughts passing. Not a lot, because it’s an ungodly hour. One, being that the girl wakes up too early. Two being, hey ! we must have the same scheduled classes! 

But now, the only though in her head is that she can’t for the life of her find a reason as to how !!! she missed !!! the dragon fly tattoo on the back of there neck !!

She literally can’t hold in her gasp when she makes the connection. It takes her a second and she figures she must look like that calculating meme thing but she literally gasps and turns as quick as she can to face her own mirror. 

It’s a small bathroom, but the girl is three sinks away, but any hope that she didn’t hear the gasp is immediately gone when she turns got glance at Camila, just for a second, then turn back. 

She brushes her teeth, probably unhygienically fast, then books it back to her room and gets to class ten minutes early. 

She can’t believe this. 

She’s been brushing her teeth next to tinder dragon fly girl for months! She hasn’t noticed how perfect bathroom girl is for months! Tinder dragon fly girl and bathroom girl are the same people! Jesus Christ! 

-

So now she can’t get this girl off of her mind. 

She tries to, she really really tries not to think about her because it feels creepy, but she can’t help it. 

She sees her in the bathroom, and nowhere else. Every single day she sees her in the bathroom. 

Are you allowed to pull moves on people in the bathroom? Camila feels like it’s weird to pull moves on someone in the bathroom. 

Fuck. Camila is childish too. So it takes everything in her not to start laughing whenever she goes into the bathroom just because of how awkward she feels. 

She also wonders if she girl even knows what’s going on in her head. Maybe the same is going on in hers?

She hates that she didn’t see it coming. After thinking about it, it’s probably because she never actually got a good look at the bathroom girl. She had piercings and black hair and she was SO intimidating! How was she supposed to risk a glance at her? 

She thinks the girl probably recognized that it was Camila though. She always glances over when the door opens, or at least Camila has seen her from her peripheral vision. 

It’s kind of embarrassing. Cause like, she probably only swiped right because she knew her. Camila thinks that’s a thing? Don’t people just swipe right on people they know sometimes? Just to see if they’re interested?

“Yeah, sometimes,” Dinah agrees with a scoff, “but that’s like, with friends. That’s like a joke. You guys don’t know each other. You just see each other every day." 

Camila kind of regrets telling Dinah. 

"And wait hold up, how come y'all never said anything to each other before? I talk to everyone in the bathrooms, maybe I know who she is?”

“Because Dinah! She’s intimidating! She’s so cool looking I couldn’t-” Camila argues, lowering her voice though because she still has no idea where this girl lives on her floor and she knows how not soundproof the walls are. “I couldn’t risk looking stupid. You know how awkward I get.”

“Hmm,” Dinah agrees, leaning on her desk in thought, “I’ll keep an eye out, but if you can find her, outside of the bathroom of course, I think you should make a move." 

"Oh yeah, you know me. That’s totally something I’m capable of,” Camila sighs, making Dinah laugh. 

She thinks maybe she could make a move if she figured out who this girl was, or where she was, or how to talk to anyone. But also she can not, because she’s only ever seen this girl in the bathroom (i.e. why she’s called bathroom girl up until now). 

So much for her “adult relationship”. Longing after a girl she literally sees for two minutes a day. 

She brushes her teeth as quickly as she can for a while and then goes back to the bathroom once the girl is gone to do the rest of her morning routine. Just because Camila knows staying in an awkward place isn’t a good idea, and the longer she spends next to the pretty girl, the higher the chances of her fucking up are. 

Camila always gives herself shit for not remembering what it was from her profile. Like why did she not remember her as her name instead of “tinder dragon fly girl”. 

She’s tried walking around and looking at doors cause some of them still have tags from the first weeks, but most people have taken heirs down for other decorations by now. 

At every floor meeting she sees her, and at every floor meeting she tries her best to be funny but not too obnoxious (one time the girl laughed at her joke, she didn’t see it but she did hear it and she swears an angel got it’s wings). 

She finally finds out what room she’s in when she sees her leaving one morning, and the eye contact literally almost kills her. (It doesn’t kill her but it does stunt her long enough for the girl to get away before she can try to catch up and strike conversation). Unfortunately, her door holds no name tag, but on the bright side now she can make up as many excuses to walk by the door as possible. 

Camila is a bit of a mess over it for a while, but then she gets busy, she gets sick, she gets stressed, and then. the semesters over and she still hasn’t done shit. 

She works over break, tries to not think about girls, or one girl. Doesn’t do a lot. Doesn’t think about school too much either.

-

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Camila says under her breath incredulously as she enters the bathroom for her 8 am months later only to be greeted by the tinder-bathroom-dragon tattoo girl. 

What are the odds, that once again, the only person that has to be up at this hour is the only person she can’t really stop thinking about. 

(She has stoped thinking about her, really because she felt a little creepy at a certain point she forced herself to stop. But she just knows this is about to throw her into a downward spiral. 

She tells Dinah about it, seeking advice but only receiving laughter, uncontrollable laughter. So she turns to her older, wiser friend Ally, and Ally is convinced making a move in the bathroom wouldn’t be weird at this point. 

And also agrees with Dinah that Camila is a huge pussy if she doesn’t do anything at this point. 

(Camila still doesn’t get why it’s up to her but whatever. 

They have a floor meeting to introduce new people on the floor, that’s when she finally gets it. 

She’s leaning in, Dinah’s leaning in, and Lauren is her name. 

“I’m Lauren, I use she/her pronouns,” she says, picking at a loose thread on her jeans and Camila doesn’t mean to react noticeably but Lauren’s voice is so beautiful and her face is so beautiful and Camila thinks that making her smile would be so beautiful and she almost tries to talk to her but Lauren dips from the meeting as soon as she gets the chance. 

So now Camila is like, hooked. 

Once again, she has every morning with Lauren in the bathroom. Which anyone who lives in dorms knows, the odds that you’re going to see someone that many days both semesters is not likely! Camila is convinced it’s a sign for her to get her shit together and do something. 

And she’s trying to! She goes to fill her water up like five times a day now that she knows Lauren’s room is next to the bubbler. And she goes to the laundry room to “check for empty machines just sos he can walk by more. And she sits in the lounge for hours just in case Lauren decides to be the bold one. 

But nothing works!

Sometimes she sees her in the line at dunkin’, but that’s almost as bad as the bathroom considering the size of the line she’d have to wait in. 

Something in her changes at this point though and she decides to be less stressed and more appreciative. This girl is so pretty, and intimidating but honestly seems really nice if Camila ever grew a pair. And Camila has decided the butterflies in her stomach are nicer than not having anyone to feel this way about. So instead of stressing, she takes a minute to adjust and then decides she wants this girl in her life more. She thinks she’d make things really happy. 

Plus she thinks it’d be a really cute story for when people ask how they meet. 

She learns in psych about how associating certain things with certain things can make certain things more or less appealing, so Camila stops wondering why waking up is becoming easier.

She makes plans in her head, she thinks of any other possible ways to go about this, but somehow her mind is made up for her one random morning. 

She wakes up, goes back to sleep, wakes up, actually gets up, 

She never really let herself look at Lauren, mainly because she was afraid of what that eye contact would do to her. But for some reason today she risks a look. 

And she’s so so so so flawless, so beautiful, so gorgeous that it doesn’t take more than second for Camila’s plans to fly right out of her head and the words to fly right out of her mouth. 

"Um, I’m sorry this might be weird…” Camila starts, and the girl turns, wide eyed at the fact that Camila is actually talking to her, “I just, I try to make it a rule not to make a move on someone in the bathroom, but would you ever wanna do something other than brush our teeth together?" 

And Camila was wayyyy right, tinder girl, bathroom girl, Lauren’s smile is so so so much more beautiful than her mascara face. 

[neoplasmic]

butch/femme discourse post. kinda it ended up being abt smth else

ok so basically i have a lot of different opinions on teh butch/femme discourse and i avoid discussing it because i really don't care that much its not a hill i give a shit to die on plus u are not really the people that i want to be fighting with online but i think that if i just liek ruminate on it real quick itll be out of my head its really complicated. on one hand afaik bi women have always used butch/femme and the Discourse is like a new thing. it seems like there's a suspicious amount of thought going into who bi ppl sleep with (new and interesting point of discussion as im sure youre aware) but on another hand i can understand why ppl think of it as a lesbian-specific term, im not oblivious 2 the fact that some men will just suddenly appear out of the deepest pits of hell for the opportunity to sexualize lesbians & i can see the worrying undertones of teh hypothetical scenario where a man sees a woman call herself butch and then go on to express attraction to men or whatever, plus again i just dont really care, not getting 2 use a label isnt a fucking death sentence youll be okay. the thing that does piss me off though is that every single time without fail someone always includes something abt how its abt rejecting men and bi women are Available to men or what not. like. you can just say its lesbian specific. you really can just say that. we're not fucking dumb right? like we can agree that we are not dumb? we know the difference between a bi woman and a lesbian right? different things? yeah? saying bi women are "available" to men like we're commodities to be consumed, or somehow tainted by our relations with men, should they be present, & unable to love a woman on the same caliber as someone who isnt bi is really just... all im saying is some of u need to invest more time in the incredibly simple art of just thinking for 5 seconds before you say something. like i don't know how you don't realize how you sound. i know by now that biphobia is, like, a made up concept to non-bi people, but u don't think that there's anything weird about specifically fixating on our attraction to the opposite sex when we... enter same-sex relationships, or wlw / mlm spaces... u dont think that we do that intentionally? u dont think that we r seeking out a same-sex relationship on purpose? and why is it your business? its the same redundant shit as a het woman going like "woe i found out my husband is Bisexual, and now i lock my windows at night lest he sneak out when i sleep and succumb to the wretched call of the Other Side... how unfortunate that i am left to keep watch over him..." it really just comes back to the myth that bisexual people cannot be monogamous and we're all whores and carry cooties from our past loves or whatever. its ridiculous and it makes me writhe in pure agony to think that i might have to explain to someone in 2020, the fabled year of the Inclusitivity, why that's a bad thing to perpetuate like it shouldnt be so, so, so fucking obvious if youve ever interacted with a bi person or actually know what one is, but i guess we let the “m-spec” thing catch on so... maybe not that last paragraph or 2 had little 2 nothing 2 do with teh butch/femme labels but this one will. imo the stag/doe shit is so embarrassing like its so transparently just replacement butch/femme... u guys are funny LOL -- down to it being a bi woman specific thing??? why r u so obsessed with compartmentalizing :sob: please log off... its just in your head anyway tl;dr - if u want 2 say butch/femme is a lesbian exclusive thing, whatever but stoppppppp making it abt bi women's Residual Man Contamination or whatever. at the age that most of you are it should not have to be explained to you that it's literally biphobic rhetoric

[ageofdragon]

The problem with the idea (the general, often used idea) of fandom innocence, isn’t that children in the fandom shouldn’t be allowed to make mistakes or be denied a community to grow, learn, and explore.

It’s that people don’t want to Correct children, they want to do their best to excuse children to the point of never confronting them out of fear you’ll ruin their “fandom innocence”.

Children in fandom can absolutely be allowed to make mistakes, they shouldn’t be crucified for not knowing*. But that also means when they make mistakes and someone says to them uh, don’t do that cause it is racist, homophobic, biphobic, bigoted, etc. there should not be 500 people rushing to tell them to chill they’re only children and throwing those labels around “casually” is wrong.

…like No it’s really not. I mean if you are sending unrelenting hate and death threats to a child, fuck you. But someone telling a child their wrong and they need to fix their behavior or risk growing into a bigoted adult is absolutely within reason. You can let a child explore and still correct them when they need to be, because sometimes children are wrong and you can honestly not expect a child to learn the right thing by letting them keep on trucking as they are.

No one ever has learned a lesson by doing the same thing over and over, receiving no guidance or consequences. Not to mention, there is a big problem of people nowadays (in fandom, among other places), drifting by without constructive criticism and going Oh Well I’m a child so no harm done, up until they become adults and then use the excuse Well no one ever criticized or corrected me before.

*Also children need to understand that by entering an adult space fandom, they risk being mistaken and treated like an adult at times. And I do consider Dragon Age overall to be an adult space, the level of gore, sex, and mature content in DA games alone (much less the fandom) is not for children under 17. Even if they don’t actively go out of their way to find it in game. Which is just my personal opinion, ultimately it is up to others more qualified (parents, guardians, older siblings, etc.) to make that decision, but I didn’t even feel comfortable interacting with the fandom until I was 18 (and I started the games around 15-17 and didn’t let my siblings play until 16).

Like no in general fandom every adult needs to be aware they may be interacting with a child and take that into account. That falls on the adult if they fuck up and also this is no excuse to “accidentally” solicit a minor, you shouldn’t be soliciting any stranger honestly like wtf???

No I mean when a child decides they are big enough to be involved with an adult fandom, an adult-centric fandom discussion, or follow adult blogs they need to be aware that unless stated they will be assumed to be an adult too. An adult on the other side of the screen isn’t going to automatically know and there are spaces and conversations that are assumed to be adult spaces and convos because you can’t censor every single space on the idea a child might wander in. And as much as it pains and excludes children There Is A Reason. Seriously tumblr has always worried me because I know there are children out there being exposed to nsfw and adult content and there isn’t really a way to stop that for certain, without them finding an easy way around the censorship or limiting access to adults who want to access it.

Adult spaces are just as important as child-friendly fandoms and adults need to be just as aware when entering child-spaces (which has been a major failing on adults parts, looking at the sexualized children fandoms like MLP and SU. Fuck You Guys)

So yeah, Fandom. All of us need to get better at it, cause the protecting children but not really and useless, corrupt censorship targeting “fandom adults, who are too old to be in fandom” are really a big fucking problem for 2017 that go hand in hand.

[dandymeowth]

Various screencaps of REGs telling people they can’t identify as queer and/or that queer is not an identity or isn’t real, all taken from this post. This is provided as part of evidence that, yes, acephobes/discoursers are absolutely saying we can’t be or use queer. Also, hey, check out how many of them are transmisogynistis, radfems, biphobes, transphobes, etc! and use a lot of anti-progressive/anti-sj language (like “identity politics”). It’s almost as if their rhetoric is related...

I have removed the REG usernames in the following captions to avoid their interacting with this post, and to slightly no-platform them. Anyway, they read:

bigballofwibblywobbly: Well you created an argument about something that wasn’t being talked about. I was talking about individuals who don’t identify as anything but queer.

Not saying we should apply it to the whole group. But you’re a terf so it all makes sense.

[REG/radfem 1]: queer isn’t an orientation??? its a reclaimed slur like god i love being a part of the lesbian gay bisexual transgender reclaimed slur for homosexual community. you’re an ace inclusionist ofc you want to reclaim slurs never used against you and think queer is a separate orientation. the lgbt community will never be the queer community or the ‘everyone that doesn’t completely conform to heterosexuality’ community lol

[REG 2]:  Yeah queer isn’t really a coherent identity in and of itself. I see “sapphic” being used in much the same way now. Like I understand that figuring out who you are is difficult and people may want to use words that are sort of? Vague and noncommittal? But queer quite honestly does not mean anything in the sense that as it’s own identity it says nothing really about who you are attracted to or your gender identity. It’s [post cut off at this point]

[REG 3]: That and its fucking vague as fuck? What does it even mean? So many non-LGBT people claimed that they’re LGBT bc they’re “queer”, when they’re just cishet polyamorous people or cishet kinksters or cishet aces or cishet aros or cis aroaces like…. that slur isn’t for u. And people who are LGBT but identify as q*eer are still LGBT? Why do u need a slur in the acronym if you’re either L G B or T? What’s the point? What does it add?

[REG 3]: Then you’d go under the bi umbrella Identity politics are so ridiculous jfc u don’t experience some new form of oppression and therefore need a community based around it just because you are mga but don’t like the label bisexual for urself.

[REG/radfem 4]:  “Queer” could mean that you are a guy who uses nail polish or that you have a turtle pet.What’s the point of this word?What does it represent?What’s your axis of oppression?What experiences do you share in common?What’s the fucking point of identifying as “queer” other than to pretend that you’re special and oppressed?

feminismandmedia: I love how you say that people who are attracted to multiple genders are pretending to be special and oppressed.

Fuck off you twit.

[REG/radfem 4]: Sexual attraction is about sex not gender.There are only 2 sexes so you’re either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.It’s not that deep, trying to give a special name to your sexuality doesn’t make you opressed and it’s actually disrespectful to actually opressed people.

[REG/radfem 5]: You shouldn’t be identifying as q*eer freely without consequence because it’s a slur.

[REG/radfem 4]: Why are you oppressed?What’s the base of your oppression?How is society systematically aimed against you?If you’re actually oppressed why do you use such an ambigous and nebulous terminology with no concrete meaning to describe your community?Since it makes it harder to acknowledge you as an oppressed group? “Fam. I like all genders. I like dick and vagina too. I’m queer too” You’re bi, congrats, you may be affected by homophobia(oppression) if you date a same sex partner.“Oppression” is a strong and assertive word, you can’t just throw it around.

bigballofwibblywobbly: My god I hate TERFs. Fall off a bridge. Thanks.

Seriously? Do we now have a quota of oppression to fill? You want every dirty detail? You disgust me.

Also I’m not bisexual thanks.

[REG/radfem 4]: “Do we now have a quota of oppression to fill” Yes it is called being oppressed.I said that the person who said they liked dicks and vaginas is bisexual, not you. You hate us cause we’re right and you know it, I would hate us if I were you too. Just bc someone called you she instead of zir in the supermarked once doesn’t mean you’re oppressed Bethy, get your shit together.

bigballofwibblywobbly: I love how they erase my queerness to fit their argument.

[REG/radfem 4]: What am I erasing? Lmao, what’s “queerness”?You still haven’t answered what it means, bc it means nothing, it is a word made for straight kids feel special, a homobhobic slur actually.

bigballofwibblywobbly: My pal. I already said. I like all genders.

[REG/radfem 4]: …so you’re bisexual therefore only oppressed if you date a same sex partner like I said.

bigballofwibblywobbly: Wow. That’s some nice biphobia you have too. Bisexual people don’t become straight if they are in a relationship with the other gender.I’m not bisexual anyways.

(Also on that last one, calling being nonbinary a white thing? lol)

bigballofwibblywobbly: Well guess I don’t belong in the community. Congrats your gatekeeping has cut out people who like multiple genders. Top notch. Really.

[REG 6]: Aren’t there other words for liking multiple genders other than a slur?

[REG 7]: Um OP polysexual falls under the acronym without using a slur and is an umbrella term for multi-gender attraction….

Bonus under cut.

The following cap is a separate post made by a REG that is capped for no-platforming purposes and to prevent their interaction. It was shoved into the ace positivity tags because discoursers seriously just straight up hate ace people and don’t want them to exist. 

The post is about how “real” LGBT+ people hate the word queer and don’t identify with it except as a comeback, implying anyone who identifies with or uses it regularly is actually not LGBT+ and instead one of “the mogais”. It compares people reclaiming queer to white people using the n-slur and neurotypicals using the r-slur.

The post uses the phrase “cishets in denial” and I honestly think that truly encapsulates exactly how discoursers are seeing being LGBT+. 

It fits right along with that “if you are attracted to the opposite sex you’re not lgbt” post. 

It fits with the idea that more people are identifying as LGBT+ because it’s “trendy” and are actually fakes and liars, an idea spread and supported by cishets, truscum, anti-sj, radfems, etc. This comes as no surprise as MOGAI was coined by a nonbinary person, and that has been the driving force behind the hatred for it.

It also fits with how “sga” is pulled from conversion therapy because that’s literally how the people behind and supportive of the concept of conversion therapy look at being LGBT+: that it’s a phase, you’re just jumping on the bandwagon, you’re in denial, this isn’t the “real” you, etc. 

The post reads:

[REG 8]: Lol, seriously? There is no better way to show that MOGAI is made up of mostly cishets in denial than how heatedly they fight to use the word “qu**r”. If they paid fucking attention, they’d know that actual members of LGBT don’t really want to be called that, that most LGBT folks only use it to fight the balance of power that qu**r causes and that they aren’t going to cast away the history of the slur just because it’s supposedly a trendy umbrella term.

It’s the same way white people whine about their “right” to use “n*gga” when black people say no, or NT people claim “freedom of speech” when calling anyone and everyone “r*tard*d” despite decent human beings explaining why that’s fucked up.It’s so damn annoying…

danni-rants: And this is in ace positivity why again

queerautism: You heard it here first folks. Everyone who fought to reclaim Queer as an act of rebellion and empowerment… was actually cishet all along. Same for neurodivergent people who can’t be more specific than ‘queer’ about their identity. And everyone who keeps trying to turn it into a positive term and build a community around it. Also my nonbinary pan ace ass apparently lol

Simply Amazing.

[drake-the-incubus]

Unpopular opinion: Most callout posts nowadays are just people finding a reason to whine about things without doing research on what the topic is about.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

So you’re right! You’re absolutely right. I’ve gone through twenty call out posts, and they’re... nit picky. I can’t trust shit in them and half the time it’s wrong.

It’s not a tool of protection but rather dog piling and honestly it’s scary how well it works.

I saw one about shipping the other month, and while I don’t care much for what ships are what, I found myself gag at the end.

At the end of it, on a small sidenote which wasn’t even MENTIONED they talked about the person being abusive.

I was horrified and had to go down a rabbit hole because that was important.

Like half the things people spend hours on don’t even matter half the time. Like really, they don’t mention it. I’ve seen someone say, “saying queer” is a horrible offence.

Being pansexual is biphobic.

Being ace/aro is homophobic.

Nonbinary folks are transphobic.

Being trans is misogynistic.

At this point I see a form of oppression or bigotry thrown around and I spend five hours on the one topic to make sure if it’s okay.

Fuck I saw someone calling POCD pedophilia just the other day, and as someone who knows how distressing it can be to deal with intrusive thoughts, and having my psychology knowledge, I was horrified.

People will really go out, use what should be informative words, as buzzwords, and sling around misinformation as a way to condemn people they dislike.

I mean in full disclosure, without ASKING first, someone said I was a MAP/MAP supporter by having one follow me. On which I, a CSA survivor, who never interacted with anything with it and didn’t even involve myself, was put onto a blocklist. Someone who was a mutual at the time informed me of it, and I had to go in and see.

I didn’t even know, there was no verification, the person just followed me. I never got taken off of it. I spoke to them about it, and even told them how distressing it was, and they hardly addressed it.

I’ve seen callouts about someone pointing out there was a rapist in a community, for stalking.

I’ve seen a callout accusing someone of stalking, for them using stat tracker on their blog to tell their stalker to fuck off.

I’ve seen people be called transphobic, for SUPPORTING NON-DYSPHORICS AND NONBINARY PEOPLE.

I’ve been told outright, I’m ableist, for calling myself autigender, because my autism messes with my gender perception. And also accused of saying every autistic person is autigender, and that I’m saying my gender is autism gender. I didn’t realize your gender was cis or trans either.

So anon, I agree, to an extent.

I’ve seen callouts mentioning people who literally support Nazi rhetoric. I’ve seen people condemned for racism and it proven with no change in pace. I’ve seen people condemn child predators, rapists and abusers. On another blog I’ve called out exploitive and abusive tactics in a community I’m in.

I can agree most callouts are shit. I can say I haven’t seen one prioritize abusive/predatory behaviour in a while that I haven’t made or wasn’t made in a specific community, but I can’t strongly agree. Because it erases the issues at hand.

On one hand, fuck callout culture, on the other, I enjoy being warned of Nazis, racists, predators and unsavoury folk in that category.

Part of the issue with callout posts are, accepting with a lack of information.

People lie on the net, and the issue with accepting callout posts is, not knowing when the post is wrong, or not reading past the beginning and accepting it without evidence.

Note, some callouts are made to disenfranchise those who are marginalized, because it’s easy to paint them in a bad light.

I think it should be mandatory for everyone to learn how to spot cherry picking, obscuring information, and false information on a callout post.

If you’re not researching topics in the post, and verifying information, you’re part of the problem.

Also then there comes in, fake callouts. Callouts made for fun, or made as a joke, taken seriously.

Half of these callouts are reblogged by folks who go and say, “critical consumption” and “critical reading skills” whilst I’m watching them blur what a predator is or a pedophile.

A 30 y/o pursuing a 22 y/o can be extremely creepy, but I’m sorry, that’s not pedophilia, and saying it is, a) infantizes the 22 y/o, b) waters down the definition of pedophilia.

I’ve seen 18 y/o’s get called pedos for dating 17 y/o’s in callouts, or heaven forbid they’re a year n a half older and date a 16 y/o. All three of which can graduate and go to college depending on life circumstances.

I’ve seen a 20 y/o still be in high school because they failed so much, he was in my class.

I’ve seen a 26 y/o paint a 16 y/o as a pedophile for having a crush on a fictional... 16 y/o.

I’ve seen ppl condemn 16 y/o’s for making sex jokes, acting like it’s unhealthy of them, and then paint an adult as predatory for making a sex joke, on... their social media, “because of course minors follow them”.

Which is stupid. I don’t even have a lot of followers... I don’t know any ages. I don’t know their stances except shinigami eyes doesn’t label them as red.

And I block porn bots on sight.

I don’t know how a blog with over 20,000 followers or more is supposed to keep track, but apparently.

Necrophiles are okay so long as they don’t support a “homophobic relationship” which is a gay twink being submissive in a relationship with a Dom hunk. Because that’s not realistic.

HC’ing Asians/Autistic people as Asexual is dehumanizing, the callout post screams as ace Asian and ace autistic folks.

So all in all, I can agree, and disagree. Most callouts I see are bullshit. But I don’t know about most callouts. It’s not defineable because I can’t look at every callout made these days I don’t know where to look. But they were once capable of harm reduction and someone thought to weaponize them. But that happened during a lot of old rules added to websites. Road to hell... yadda yadda.

I’m sorry for the word vomit, I’m not great at articulation, I’m like dead tired and decided to answer this.

MAP discourse, Discourse about shipping, discourse about pedophiles ain’t tolerated on this post. I’m not engaging, fuck off. I mentioned it as examples, but fuck, they’re triggering to actually get into and I don’t feel like throwing up into the toilet.

Actually discourse can fuck off entirely, discourse is dumb.