#should be good for the walkthrough tomorrow

[kuromi-hoemie]

she ended up being everyone's favorite (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟwould luv to have another trans woman of color i could talk with regularly if even just about work 👉🏾👈🏾 very excited!!!!! augh i hope she accepts the offer 😭😩 she really nailed the interview.

interviewed a very beautiful Afghani trans woman just now and I'm gonna be thinking about it the rest of the day.

[daycourtofficial]

Training Day

Summary: you ask Azriel to help you demonstrate some moves for training and it very quickly changes things

Author’s note: yeah this one just took on a life of it’s own I guess? Anyway, it’s lots of fun

“Can I use you tomorrow during the demonstration?”

Azriel looks up from his paperwork. The two of you were working in the library, a place you find yourselves most nights. You both enjoy working simultaneously - whether you both have paperwork, research, or personal reading. Most nights were spent on a secluded floor of the library. You two are down here so frequently, Clotho has stopped asking you to return the furniture the way it was, just allowing you two to use this space as your own sanctuary.

“I need a body to use when I’m showing the girls how to defend against an opponent,” you elaborate, and Azriel can’t help but notice a faint blush across your cheeks.

Azriel chuckles, but nods. He can’t say no to helping the priestesses, and he certainly can’t say no to you.

You two return to your previous attentions - you to your book, and him to his paperwork, which he finds much less interesting than you.

It started by the two of you using a table and chairs to work, but you had complained about reading for so long in the chair, that you rearranged the furniture so a table was pulled up to the couch you two are sitting on.

These nights started with you two across the table from each other, and tonight Azriel feels your toes pressing against his thigh, trying to form an entrance underneath his leg. You two now sit on the same couch, more often than not touching in some small capacity. The most recent nights start with you toeing your feet against his thigh, until he eventually grabs legs, sliding you down the couch, and placing your legs across his lap, draping his arms over them. When he’s feeling extra bold, or extra sleepy, he finds himself drawing patterns on your calves with his hands.

-

“Goooood morning!” You chirp to the priestesses, Nesta, Cassian, and Azriel. Azriel left the morning part of training early to bring you up for your demonstration and to talk to the preistesses and Nesta.

They all looked tired and out of breath, no doubt due to Cassian’s training.

“You can all sit for my demonstration. That way I become your favorite teacher.” You smile, eliciting a huff from Cassian.

“First, I want to say that while Cassian and Azriel are great teachers, there is one aspect to training that they cannot grasp. They do not understand what it’s like to be smaller than most of your enemies, to be at least 50 pounds lighter than most of your opponents.” You glance around, and the priestesses seem to be receptive, so you continue.

“Which is why I’m here. Cassian can spend 100 years teaching you proper balance, proper techniques, proper stances. But those things mean nothing if you cannot contextualize what you need to take down an opponent.”

“So today, we’ll be doing a little walkthrough of a fight. My opponent will be Azriel. The goal for today is for us to walk through, step by step, of a fight, and win. So, let’s start by thinking: what are some things that I need to think about when I’m facing Azriel. We don’t know anything about him, we don’t know who he is. We know what we can see, sans shadows. Most opponents won’t have control over shadows, so I’m sorry, but you’ll have to sit the demonstration out.”

With that, his shadows retreat, looking as if they too were looking to sit and watch the demonstration. Azriel doesn’t think about the fact that he didn’t tell them to leave, that they listened to you, not even seeking his approval for the command.

“So, what do I notice about my opponent?”

Gwyn speaks up, “he’s much taller than you.”

Another priestess speaks up, “he’s unarmed.”

“He has wings.” “He’s wearing protective leathers.”

You interrupt them. “All good observations. He’s bigger than I am, unarmed, but protected. These are all important notes when facing an opponent. So, what should I do first?”

Someone immediately yells, “kick him!” You’re pretty sure it was Cassian, but you let it slide. “Where am I aiming my kick?” You ask to the crowd. “His head!” You hear Nesta call back.

“Do we think that is the best course of action?” They all nod, you’re unsure if it’s just because they want to watch you kick their teacher, but you swing your leg out, aiming for his head, holding it right next to him when you ask, “why would this not be the best tactic for me?”

There’s a pause, then Emerie speaks up, “your foot won’t make contact with his head.”

While still holding your leg in the air, mere centimeters from his face, you pull a small chocolate from your pocket and throw it to Emerie. “Correct! I can’t make perfect contact, is there any other problem?”

Gwyn yells out, “you’re vulnerable to be pushed!” You throw another chocolate. “Excellent! Yes, since all my weight is on one leg, he could easily” you prompt, alerting Azriel to his next move. He simply pushes you a little, making you lose balance, “make me lose my footing.”

You stand back up and brush the dirt off.

“If I’m going to execute a move that leaves me vulnerable, I need to be very sure that I can execute it. My legs are not long enough to do so. And our opponents will not stoop down so I can attack them.”

Azriel crouches just a smidge, where if your leg were still in the air you’d be able to connect it to his face.

“When the odds are against you in a fight, you need to even the playing field. Do anything you can to subdue your enemy. A tactic I use frequently is messing with their senses. May I?” You ask Azriel. He nods, curious where this is going.

“My height might be considered a disadvantage, but it allows me to move faster and with more ease than larger opponents like Cassian.”

He rolls his eyes, ready to retort back, but you’ve started talking again. “Showing this in slow mo won’t give you a great idea, and it’s a bit more difficult to do, but here’s what I do. I use my opponents height to their disadvantage.

You plant your right foot on his left thigh. “What do small creatures do? They climb. So I plant one foot on a thigh, and use momentum to swing my other leg onto their shoulder.” As you say this, you swing your left leg over his right shoulder, him holding your right leg planted on his leg so you can move.

“from here, I have one leg secured to a shoulder, so I use that planting to bring up my other leg,” doing as you say, bringing your right leg onto his other shoulder, your legs holding onto his shoulders.

Azriel can’t breathe with you so close to him like this. Do you have any idea the effect this is having on him? How close you are to his face, to his mouth? He’s dreamed of having you like this, pressing you into a wall while he devours you like it’s his last meal.

Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, reminding him of where he is. “From here, I bring both of my fists out wide, gaining as much speed as I can before coming down on my opponent’s ears. This impact will leave their ears ringing, and could disrupt their balance if done hard enough.” You mime the motion, but only lightly hit his ears.

“Then I grab their face,” you say, holding the right side of his jaw, “and I smash my palm as hard as I can into their nose.”

Azriel knew you weren’t going to, but he could think of no better way to go than at your hands while your legs are wrapped around his neck.

You start to uncoil yourself from him, and it takes all of his self control to help you get your feet back on the ground. You start explaining why jabbing a palm through a nose is a good idea. The priestesses didn’t seem to think anything of you being on top of him like that, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cassian’s shit eating grin. He glances in his brother’s direction, wanting him to knock it off before he scares off their trainees, but Cassian mouths the words “loverboy” to him, while kissing the air, before pretending he was paying attention to you the whole time.

-

Your demonstration goes on for a bit longer, you and Azriel having a pseudofight that the priestesses eventually walk you through how to win. You have him pinned to the ground, and their cheers are so loud you’d think you had slain a dragon instead of taking him down.

You’re positively glowing at their praise, and the fact that this method of teaching actually worked. Before he could grow too accustomed to your weight on his chest, you get off of him, offering a hand to help him up, which he gladly accepts.

“Thank you for letting me beat you up today,” you giggle, as the priestesses start heading back toward the library, leaving you and Azriel behind.

He laughs, thinking about his next words, “how could anyone say no to letting you straddle their face and pinning them down?”

Your cheeks are on fire. The two of you were something, you just didn’t know what. On top of spending most days together, you two flirted constantly, once prompting Feyre to throw you in a cold fountain to cool you off.

But flirting was words, and these words were based in real actions you took. Sure it was to show the priestesses some defense moves, and maybe you had some ulterior motives, but you can’t pretend you didn’t enjoy seeing his face between your legs, even if you two were fully clothed in a self-defense seminar.

You were done with flirting that led nowhere, and before you can think about them the words are out of your mouth, “so if I asked you to do it again, with less witnesses and less clothing?”

You physically watch him shudder, at first you’re afraid you went too far, but then he leans down into your ear and whispers, “don’t make offers if you don’t want to follow through.”

You two have been dancing around whatever is between you two for too long, you think. The gentle nights spent in the library, the constant flirting. You spend more time with him than anyone. You’re terrified to move forward, but then you meet his eyes.

They’re full of lust, yes, but there’s an incredible warmth there. A softness, reserved just for you. He always looks at you with delicacy, as if you held his world and too harsh of a stare would break you.

You grab his neck, pulling him down to you as you kiss him. The first thing you feel is his wings wrapping around you, providing you privacy from the world, even though you’re alone in the training area.

Your hands clutch at his face, and your lips cover his, moving in tandem, as if your lips have found the place they belong.

His hands grab your ass, prompting you to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. You’re so caught up in the kiss and the heat of it that you don’t even realize he winnowed you two into his room.

You hardly take note of the room, just taking in his smell, his taste, his warmth. You’re not sure how long you guys are kissing, thinking of nothing but the way his hands feel holding you, amazed you two are still wearing any clothes, let alone being fully dressed, when you hear a cough.

You two break away very reluctantly, to see a very smug Cassian standing ten feet away.

“You,” he points directly to you, “owe me $50. Pay up.”

“Now?” You ask incredulously, your hair moving as you whip your head to glare at the intruder.

“Yes, now. It’s my money, and I earned it fair and square.”

Azriel’s confusion shown all over his face, you covered your face in your hands while Cassian says, “I bet her $50 that if she had you help with her demonstration and got on your shoulders like that, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself.”

“I- um - I didn’t know how to make the first move,” you say meekly, “and he seemed so sure of this working.”

You were so concerned he’d be mad that you manipulated this situation, but Azriel, while still holding you, tells Cassian, “I’ll give you $100 if you leave and don’t let anyone disturb us for a week.”

Cassian, always ready to make a quick buck, quickly agrees and scuttles out of the room, closing the door on his way.

“How do you go from not knowing how to make the first move to doing that?” Azriel asks, amusement shining on his face.

“Well, I thought my shameless flirting wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I had to take more drastic measures.”

He roars in laughter, and you can feel the vibrations through his chest. “You’ve always had my attention,” he says, looking at you the way a predator would, “but now you have my undivided attention. And I just paid a hefty fee to get us some time away from everyone.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at you as you giggle, holding onto him tighter, “oh no, a whole week with no distractions, whatever shall we do?” You ask, trying to sound distressed, but your giggles give you away.

“I think I stopped paying attention during your presentation, do you want to remind me again about depriving your opponent of their senses with your legs?”

You throw your head back in laughter, and he tilts your head down to capture your laugh in his kiss.

[the-californicationist]

Guile & Guilt (Ch. 09)

Soap/Reader - MDNI/18+ AO3 Link

WEDNESDAY — Evening: 2 days until the wedding

The worst part was the pretending. You thought that you’d be in the most pain when you were alone, sobbing in your room, clutching Marlowe like a comfort stuffie, but that wasn’t it. The hardest thing, actually, was smiling when you should be smiling. 

No, the hardest thing was staring down at his bed and knowing you had to sleep in it because why shouldn’t you sleep in it? What reason could you tell her that you weren’t able to climb into his sheets and smell his scent in your nose again?

You couldn’t tell her that the softness of his Rangers jersey felt like thorns to you now. You couldn’t tell her why you’d prefer to sleep on the couch, the floor, outside — anywhere but his bed. No. You had to smile, and it needed to be believable. It couldn’t be a masked grimace through tears like you’d been using to get back and forth from the coffee shop and your bed, unable to even make yourself a boiled egg. 

You’d come down, as planned, for the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night, and the real kicker — the stake that just twisted right into your heart — was that Johnny and his whole team would be down, too. Of course all the hotels (of which there were one) and the bed and breakfasts were booked solid. So, they’d all just crash here, as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing except for you. 

You were anything but ordinary. You were desperate for some sort of relief from the pain in your chest. Every time you looked down at your phone, you felt it. You ignored the 47 missed calls and the countless text messages, keeping it on silent no matter what. You’d gotten calls from him, from all of his friends, even one from Ghost. You didn’t return them. You thought he had even come to your door one night, but you didn’t answer it. You couldn’t. All you could do was tell yourself to breathe, to eat, to shower, and to make it to the next hour in one piece so you could get through this wedding without falling the fuck apart. 

“You all set in here, babe?” Pidge asked behind you, watching you stare down at the empty bed, “Johnny’ll be here in just a bit so be sure to claim the good side before he does.”

She laughed. You laughed. You sounded crazy. 

“Makin’ your favorite tonight. Chicken tikka,” she was talking to you like a parent talks to a child when they know something is wrong but are determined not to pry. 

“Thanks, Pidge. I’ll come help in a moment.”

“Alright,” she smiled again and shut the door. 

You dropped your bag and waited what you assumed was a normal amount of time before heading out into the kitchen, a brave mask on in place of your face.

She set you to work after you washed your hands, and you were grateful for it. Pidge was talking for you, retracing her steps from her hen do, telling you the parts she couldn’t remember. It was as if everything she’d said to Johnny had just disappeared into thin air, and you wondered how much of that was by choice or by accident. She didn’t even remember you getting a cab. 

Now, she was gushing about how amazing her photographer was, and how he was coming down for the walkthrough. You nodded when you needed to nod; you smiled when you needed to smile. 

“...told him you’d stand in for me at the altar.”

“What?” You’d missed something important. 

“The photographer needs to shoot Hamish and I, but we cannae be at the altar until our wedding, obvi, so I told him you and Lachlan would be the stag and hen for that practice shoot. Is that alright?” She was looking at you like she’d made a mistake. 

You shook your head,

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. No problem. Whatever you need me to do.”

The front door creaked open and you almost dropped the saucepan onto the floor. 

“Pidge?” His voice called through the house. 

“In the kitchen!” She called back. 

You stirred the sauce. 

He must have been staring at you because Pidge made a comment,

“We’re doing chicken tikka. It’s her fav, and I thought she deserved it after what I put her through last weekend.”

“Aye,” his tone was odd, “I’ll go drop my bag. The lads are on their way in.”

You could tell he left the room. It was as if your body could sense it somehow. You wondered if he was staring at the bed. You wondered if it would feel like thorns for him, too. 

Why would it? 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You screamed inside of your mind. Get it together. 

You stirred the sauce. It was the only thing you could do. If someone had tried to take the pan from you, you might have smacked them with it. 

Hamish came up beside you with the cream,

“Ready for me?”

“Sure,” you held your spoon away so he could pour it in. 

“Smells great. Go sit, lass. I poured you a wine. I’ll make your wee plate.”

You smiled at Hamish and marched yourself over to the table. Price came in and saw you sitting there, and after he said hello to Ham and Pidge, he sat next to you in some sort of act of mercy. Hamish poured him a wine as well and they caught up. Small talk. Just the weather. You performed your vanishing act, becoming invisible. 

Until you weren’t. 

His eyes bored into you from the hallway as he made his way into the kitchen. He was forced to sit all the way at the other end of the table, as far from you as he could be, next to Gaz and Ghost. 

Everyone was chatting, drinking, eating. And you worked hard to be unseen. But, he just kept staring. You felt his eyes when you took a bite, when you dropped your fork, when you wiped your mouth… he may as well have been pinning you down with his huge hands; you were so scrutinized. You felt like you were being dissected, a frog on a student’s desk, your heart plucked out for examination. 

What was he looking for? Forgiveness? Wrath? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to guess. You wanted to melt into the carpet like a fallen ice cube, to evaporate into nothingness so you didn’t have to feel his eyes on you anymore. 

Suddenly, you looked up at him, catching him. Only then did he look away. He must have seen something inside of you that answered his question. 

You cleaned up the plates, making an excuse to do the dishes while everyone else lounged in the den. 

Then, disaster. Hamish cut himself while putting away his knives. Blood rushed out of the cut and down his elbow, dripping onto the counter and the tile. You rushed over with a towel,

“Here, put some pressure.”

Pidge took over for you, and she told you,

“Go check Johnny’s bag. He’s got a wee first aid kit in there, I know he does.”

You looked around for Johnny to make him do it instead, but he’d gone outside to smoke with Price, so you jogged off to his room alone. His bag was on the bed, and you took a deep breath before unzipping it, staying tight to your mission. Then, you spotted the little red kit near the bottom. You pulled it out in a hurry, and the rucksack dropped to the floor, spilling its contents. 

“Shit,” you muttered, bending to clean it up. 

You tossed all the clothes back in, but you noticed a journal that had fallen out. It was splayed open, its spine facing you. Your hands shook a bit as you went to pick it up. Then, you saw the one thing you hadn’t expected to see: you. 

Your face was sketched out in careful detail. There were little scratches of pen for the shadows, and negative space for the highlights. Your eyes were looking off in the distance, and your smile was soft, almost like it wasn’t even there. You looked beautiful. 

You couldn’t help yourself. You flipped the page. You found a map, and a sketch with some attack dogs, but in the margin you saw Sonnet 91. You turned the page again. Your face was everywhere. Your body, your eyes, your hands… you were scattered across the paper in bright blue ink. Then, Sonnet 145. Coffee stains and what may have been blood marred the masterpieces he had left behind. You flipped again, and it was you. Pieces of Sonnet 29. Then you. You were on every page. All of the images of war and maps and guns disappeared and now it was just you, you, you.

Your heart slammed into your mouth and you couldn’t breathe. You thought of golden sunrises across the Urzikstani desert half a world away, imagining him sitting on the open tailgate of a Humvee with this book open in front of him. You thought of how closely he had watched you for months; how his hands had traced the curves of your body so beautifully sketched before you. How he had noticed the three freckles on the side of your eye, the ones you thought no one could see. 

You shoved the book back in the bag and ran back into the kitchen, first aid kit in hand. 

Pidge noticed something was wrong.

“You alright, hen?”

“Just squeamish,” you feigned nausea, pointing to Hamish’s blood. 

Johnny came back in from the porch, looking at you, distress creasing his brow,

“What’s happened?”

“Hamish…” You gestured at the injured man, pointedly avoiding looking at Johnny. 

“Don’t like the sight of blood, thief?” Price asked, using your nickname. In your periphery you could see Johnny stiffen at the comment, but no one else seemed to notice. Price continued, suggesting, “Why don’t we go for a walk.”

“Thanks, John,” Pidge smiled at him, glad that he could tend to you as she was tending to her fiance. 

You let yourself be led out of the house through the front door. Price had you by the arm, none too gently, you thought, and walked you into the cool night air, wrapping his jacket around you and shutting the door. 

He was relighting a fat cigar, letting the smoke linger in his mouth, walking slowly, aimlessly down the path, without a destination in mind, leading you nowhere. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, knowing the answer. 

“No.”

You weren’t sure why you told him the truth. He was just going to run back and report to Johnny. But, there was something in his eyes that made you think he genuinely cared, and you so desperately needed someone to care. 

“Have you listened to his side of it?” 

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

You didn’t answer. You wanted to say no, but something stopped you. 

Price stopped walking, his boots scraping in the gravel of the path, his bright blue eyes icy and a little sad. 

“Listen,” he frowned, “I’ve known Johnny a lot longer than you. I’ve seen him broken. I’ve seen him scared. I’ve seen him mad, and drunk, and happy, and beaten… but I’ve never seen him like this.”

You crossed your arms in his jacket, trying to find some warmth. Suddenly, you felt Price’s finger dig inside of the neckline of your shirt. You almost knocked his hand away, but he put up his other in a sign of peace. And when he found what he was looking for, he smiled. 

He’d pulled out Johnny’s dog tag from beneath your shirt, and you knew you’d been caught. Price held the coin up to you like the sacrament, discovering your shame, bringing your sin out into the open. In that moment, you wanted to bend down on both knees and take it into your mouth, and you wanted him to make you whole again with it. 

“This isn’t like him,” he said, the porch light made the silver gleam, and it blinded you for a moment, “He’s generous enough with his smiles and compliments, but he doesn’t give freely of himself. Not like this. Would’ve thought you’d known. He’s kept himself hidden all this time. But, not from you.” 

You cried. You didn’t want to. You bit your lip and furrowed your brow. You swallowed your spit and tried to breathe through the tears, but they came anyway. He held you to his chest, and you knew his tee shirt would be wet from your weakness, but he kept a steady hand on your back, regardless. 

He tucked the tag back into your shirt and it lay cold against that spot between your breasts; the same spot Johnny had kissed you when he’d taken your guilt from you the first night you’d been together, there, in his bed. You thought Price would make some sort of face, some judgment. But, he didn’t. He simply walked you back inside and held the door for you. 

You went through it on your own accord, and Johnny’s eyes were the first thing to greet you. He raked them over you like a forest fire, burning you from roots to boughs, seeing Price’s jacket over your shoulders and lingering on it for a while until you handed it back to his captain. 

“All covered!” Hamish chuckled, holding up his bandaged finger to you, “Sorry, babes.”

You smiled, 

“No worries. I think I’m just tired from the ride in. Gonna lay down early.”

Pidge caught your attention, 

“Don’t forget, you and Johnny have to make it before two. Pictures are at two.”

You nodded, retreating to what used to be a sanctuary. Now, it felt more like a cell. 

Your goal was to get to sleep before he could join you. You knew it would be too suspicious for him to follow you into his room, so you had the advantage of time. How strange it was to avoid what you had been craving. 

You climbed into the sheets, and you did your best to ignore all of the memories that kept rushing back. The smear of her purple lipstick across his soft earlobe haunted you like a ghost. 

THURSDAY — Midnight: 1 day until the wedding

He came in as quietly as he could, but you woke up anyway. You tried your best to pretend to be asleep, keeping your breathing heavy and long. It was pitch black, and when he sat on the bed, you heard the familiar creak of the coils. 

He pulled the covers back, he fluffed the pillow, he took off his watch, and then he just… laid there. 

You weren’t sure what you were expecting he would do. Wake you up? Demand your attention? You’d shut him out completely. He knew his company was unwanted. 

The dark voice laughed at you in your head. It knew the truth. It wanted him to fight for you. It wanted him to beg for your mercy. It wanted him to take you in his arms anyway, despite your protests. It wanted him to ignore your wishes. It wanted the animal in him to claim the animal in you, to remind you that you were his woman and that he could do with you as he wished. 

But, he wasn’t an animal. He was a man, and he respected you enough to stay on his side of the line. 

It was only when he thought you were well and truly asleep that you felt his finger graze the metal chain of his dog tags on the back of your neck, not heavily enough to wake you, but enough to feel that they were real. You wondered if Price had ratted you out or if Johnny had noticed himself. You thought it was the latter, knowing him.  

You passed out eventually, listening to the sound of his quiet snoring, your pillow soaked from tears that had spilled out across the bridge of your nose. Tears he wouldn’t be able to touch. 

THURSDAY — 2:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

Saint Patrick’s church was quaint, and the interior was minimalistic compared to other Catholic churches you’d visited before. There was something sort of liminal about the space, as if it were unfinished. You wondered what it would look like when it was full of people. 

You were standing at the altar, fake bouquet in hand, pretending to be a blushing bride. The photographer was very much in charge of this ordeal, and he was as outspoken as he was confident. 

“Okay, perfect. See? She’s perfect. Can you be perfect, too, Mr….?”

“It’s Lachlan. Lachlan Black,” he reminded him for the third time. 

“Ugh, okay. Lachlan. If only you were a little more memorable, but my brain just — whoosh!” The photographer, Gary, made a little noise and a motion with his hand like a bird flying through a window. 

“And you’re just too damn tall, you know that?” Gary sighed. 

He looked around the room, appraising all of the bridal party like a dealer at an auction, looking for the solution amongst the chaff. Then, he waved Hamish up from the front pew, getting him to stand. Gary looked him up and down, and motioned for him to sit again. With a snap of his fingers, he said,

“Hey! You. Mohawk. What’s your name again? You know what — that’s enough names actually. Mohawk will be groom instead. Nice and tall, but not too tall. Yes, yes… okay, thank you, Lachlan… buh-bye.”

You were face to face with Johnny at the altar. 

You felt the panic make your blood rush into your cheeks. It was hard to catch your breath. 

Of all the times you’d imagine being at the altar with Johnny, this was certainly not it.

You stared at your fake, paper bouquet and prayed in your mind, loudly, for a sudden plague. Toads, rivers of blood — whatever you’ve got, Heaven! Throw it down here, please. You begged for a miracle or a smiting. Either would do. 

The Lord did not oblige you. 

“Okay… better! Yes, this is much better. Cute. Can you scooch in a bit, mohawk? She doesn’t bite, I don’t think.” Gary winked.

Mohawk scooched in. You dared to look up into his eyes, and when you did, you knew you made a mistake. You were trapped in him and he was trapped in you. You felt like you were frozen in place, unable to breathe or speak or scream, no matter how badly you wanted to. 

You had a whole conversation with him in the span of those few seconds. You asked him why he’d been covered in someone else at the bar. You begged him to give you some evidence that you hadn’t seen what you saw. You told him about all the nights you’d lay awake, about all the times you’d thrown his tag into the corner of your room, only to crawl on your hands and knees to retrieve it, clutching it to you and feeling sorry that you’d done so. 

He was telling you something as well, but you couldn’t hear him. He was screaming it, you knew that much, but it wasn’t loud enough. 

Gary interrupted you,

“Okay, hold hands around the bouquet, pretty please…”

He grasped your hands, and it was so familiar, you almost melted into him. By some magical power, you held yourself together, but as the camera clicked and flashed, with every moment you lost a little more control.

“...annnnnnnd now the kiss? C’mon. We’re all adults here. This lighting is shit — forgive me, Father — and I can’t deal with the actual money shot being trash. Today, people!”

You hesitated. But, Johnny didn’t. He seemed to set himself, his mouth in a tight, resigned line, and then he held your face in his hands, just as gently as he always did. When he kissed you, he really kissed you. He didn’t fake it for the cameras, and he didn’t hide his passion from Pidge or any of the others. You couldn’t help but kiss him back, letting him guide you as he liked, his big jaw shaking a bit as he let go. 

“Perfect! Okay, and now the happy couple is smiling at the crowd…”

Gary took a step back into the aisle, and Johnny held up your hand in the air in mock triumph, posing for a gleeful moment that didn’t exist. You looked right at Pidge, but she was laughing at something Hamish had said, fully oblivious to the war raging right in front of her face. 

“Alright… well, I don’t know if I’d call that smiling, necessarily, but here we are. Okay. Mohawk, you’re done.”

The way Johnny dropped your hand made you feel like you were on fire, as if he could no longer stand to hold you, or like he had been burned. It was sharp, and you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Did you want him to linger? To profess his undying love in front of his sister and ruin her one special day? You didn’t. So you let his absence cut you like a blade, severing you like a limb from a tree. 

THURSDAY — 7:00PM: 1 day until the wedding

The rehearsal dinner venue, the Auchentoshan Distillery, was gorgeous. Johnny had spared no expense on the stylings, and there was food everywhere you looked. The cakes were elegantly plated, the roast hung shining, its drippings making the shank glitter, and even the boiled potatoes made your mouth water. 

Johnny had obviously arranged the table settings a few weeks ago, because you were sat right next to him and Price, across from Gaz and Ghost. Pidge was two seats down, and the rest of the girls were across from her and Hamish. Lachlan and the other groomsmen were on the opposite side. But, other than for the initial dinner, you hadn’t been made to sit by him much at all. He mingled around the room, talking to everyone except for you, making sure all of the cups were filled and all of the faces were smiling. 

He was an impeccable host. His charisma was electric. And he looked upsettingly handsome. He wore a kilt tonight, one of his hunting tartans, with a sharp button down embellished with gleaming pearl buttons. His shoulders were bursting through the fabric, pulling it taut against his wide back. If you looked carefully enough, you could imagine where his tattoo peeked through.

Gaz cleared his throat, whispering low,

“Have you talked to him, then?”

Your eyes tore themselves away from Johnny to stare at Gaz. You checked over your shoulder to see if Pidge had heard him, and he glanced at her, too. 

“No.”

Ghost spoke at full volume, not caring who heard him,

“Are you going to?”

Price dropped his fork so that it clattered on the plate, giving Ghost a chastising glare. 

“She’ll talk to him when she’s ready to talk to him, and it’s none of our bloody business.”

You didn’t hear much else out of Gaz or Ghost, but as they chewed their food, you could tell that they didn’t believe Price for one damn second. It very much was their bloody business.

And maybe it was. Price had certainly made it his business on your walk last night, and it seemed like your relationship with Johnny was slowly becoming everyone’s business. You had tried your best to return to that same old invisibility you were used to, but it wasn’t enough now. You felt like you were on full display.

“Excuse me,” you got up and fled to the bathroom.

When you opened the door, you saw Bekah and Anjali inside, freshening up their makeup. 

“Hey!” They said in high-pitched unison.

“Hey,” you replied, inching by them to get into the stall. 

“Where’d you disappear to the other night, babe?” Anjali called out to you through the door. 

“Just got too drunk. Took a cab,” you told her, hoping that would end the conversation. 

“Fuck,” Bekah laughed, “That was me, too. Did Cherise tell you about that bloke at Max’s?”

“No,” you said, captivated like a prisoner.

“Arsehole thought he could put something in my drink. Soap saw him and beat him within an inch of his fuckin’ life! You should’ve seen the man. Needed a damn doctor, so he did,” Bekah confessed.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you said, genuinely. Bekah was not your friend, but she didn’t deserve to be assaulted. 

Anjali laughed,

“Soap had to carry her out! She was stumblin’ all over the road.”

“Wasnae my fault!” Bekah protested, “But, he was a gentleman. Drove me home. Him and Gaz.”

“Oh, that Gaz is fine, no?” Anjali interrupted. 

“Aye. I thought Johnny might kiss me back, just this once, but he still didn’t. That lad is harder to wear down than the goddamn Pope, I swear. I’ve given up.”

“Didn’t you sleep together?” You asked, torturing yourself. 

“God, no! He won’t have any of us. Pidge thinks he has, but I’ve never slept with him. Definitely would though,” Bekah gushed. 

“Hasn’t Cherise?” Anjali asked.

“No! Cannae believe it. All this talk for being a big slut and he’s a choir boy,” you could hear Bekah’s voice get louder with her disbelief.

“Shame,” Anjali lamented.

“Aye, a shame,” Bekah agreed, “Was he a good kisser? He looked it. You were quite a pair up at the altar. Maybe he’d go for you, hen.”

You pulled open the stall door and joined them at the sink. Your hands were trembling. 

“Babes,” Bekah noticed, “Are you alright? You havnae seemed well since the hen do. You’re working too hard for this wedding.”

“I’m alright. I think I just need some fresh air,” you smiled, pushing your way out of the door.

When you walked back into the main hall, everyone was standing. A waitress with a tray found you and handed you a glass of champagne. You moved to the side around the crowd to see what all the commotion was, and it was Johnny. He was standing next to Pidge with his glass raised high, clinking it delicately with the side of his fork. 

“Alright, alright. Settle down,” he smiled at his sister, “I know Lachlan is the one supposed to be up here haverin’ about Hamish, but he was kind enough to give me his go because I needed to talk to my sister.”

His eyes found you and settled there, no longer scanning the crowd. You watched him take a breath before he continued,

“If you dinnae ken me, I am Johnny MacTavish, Sergeant of His Majesty’s Special Air Service —” he was interrupted by proud applause, “Uh, thank you. And I am the younger brother of our darling Brigette here. While I was away, Pidge has taken care of my life for me. She took care of our ma when she was ill, and she buried our da without me. She managed to keep the wee house from fallin’ into the river, and still she has time to volunteer at Saint Mary’s children’s ward on the odd weekend.”

More applause. He paused and went on,

“All that to say, my sister doesnae need anyone. But, love isnae about need. It’s about choosin’ to be with a person who makes you feel like you can be yourself, that you can confess to all the desires and the wants and the hopes and the fears that you have inside of you, and you know that they understand you. They see you for who you are, and they love you for it anyway. 

Love isnae patient, and it certainly isnae bloody kind. It loves to boast! And it falls prey to envy. Love is in a rush, and it eats you alive from the inside out. Love isnae about needing. It’s want, pure and simple. To Hammie and Pidge, may you live a hundred years, and may you want each other endlessly in each of them. Slàinte mhath.” 

“Slàinte mhath!”

You drank your champagne, numb and panicking.

Someone shoved a small microphone onto the strap of your dress, clicking it in place, and you stared down at it while everyone else stared at you, waiting.

You breathed into the mic, listening to your breath come through the speakers. You wanted to talk to him, to tell him you’d learned the truth. But, you were surrounded, literally, by all of his friends and family. There was no worse time for your truth-telling. So, you tried to lean on the speech you remember preparing, mashing it together with words that kept pouring from your heart.

“Hello,” you tried out a smile, “I’ve known Brigette for years, and she is the only real family I have. I’m not Scottish. I know the accent gives it away,” some polite laughter, “But, I’m wearing the MacTavish boar around my neck because Pidge welcomed me here with open arms and took me in as if I had been here the whole time. Like it was the most natural thing to do. She’s selfless in all the ways you should be, and she always promised that I would have a home with her. And I love her dearly for that.”

You spoke directly to Johnny, just as he did to you, 

“I’ve been thinking about selflessness, and about making promises. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who does the right thing, even when it’s hard. I’ve been thinking about the type of man who breaks a promise when he needs to break one, and I’ve been thinking about the consequences of our actions. But, when you love someone, the consequence is just… more love. There’s really nothing else, is there? You could get a shovel and dig until you reach the bottom of the earth looking for them, but there are no real consequences when you’re in love. It trumps… everything.” 

You paused for a long time. Johnny was captivated by your eyes, hanging on every word, and you’d been silent for too long. You said, directly to Pidge,

“So, I hope, when you’re wondering if you’ve done the right thing or not, and you’re digging around for the consequences of that, I hope you just keep pulling out more and more love. Just love all the way down. Forever. Cheers, to Hamish and Pidge.”

“Cheers!”

You finished your champagne and walked over to Pidge. Everyone was applauding and talking loudly again, laughing and sharing their own joys about the happy couple. You were overwhelmed, but you wanted to see her. 

Pidge held out her arms and folded them around you, clutching you tightly to her chest, whispering I love yous and thank yous into your skin. You kissed her on the cheek, whispering to her,

“I’m gonna step outside for a moment, are you alright for now?”

“Yes! Go. Take Johnny with you. When he gets sappy, he starts to hover,” she swatted Johnny away as he leaned in to kiss her, fighting through her protests. 

She gave in, melting into him and smiling as he planted a kiss to her cheek. 

“I love you, Pidge,” he said to her, not letting her go.

“I love you, too, Johnny-boy. And I’m sorry for all the mean things I’ve said. You’ve changed. I dinnae ken what’s gotten into you, but all this…” She looked around at the reception hall, “All this has made me realize that you finally see me, you finally see what I’ve been going through, and I’ve been unfair. Thank you, brother.”

He kissed her forehead, trying to blink away tears as he did so, lingering with his lips on her skin before removing himself from her embrace. 

“C’mon,” he nodded at you and took you by the hand, right in front of her, leading you out to the back courtyard. 

The distillery was situated right next to its water source, north of the River Clyde, and the waters churned from a pump run by the whisky makers. The flow of the water was invigorating and challenging, but the calmness of the lake itself was still and quiet; a dichotomy. It was the same within you, a roiling, tumbling sea of glass, ready to shatter.

Johnny turned and looked at you like he knew what you would say. As he approached you, slowly, he held up his hands, trying to hide that they were shaking, offering peace, carrying no weapon, for once. You unfolded your arms, still clutching yourself around your waist, waiting for him to prove you wrong, for him to confirm the truth you’d overheard from Bekah. 

“Are you willing to hear me now, thief?”

“I already heard,” you said, “From Bekah. And I saw your journal.”

He was speechless. All of the things he’d planned to say to you had dried up, and now he was left chewing on their remains. He put his hands on his hips and looked out at the water,

“I’m so goddamn in love with you, it hurts.”

He pinned you with his gaze, then. Watching you take in his confession. He continued,

“It hurts when I wake up, and it hurts when I go to bed. I dinnae ken how to stop it from hurtin’ like this. Feels like I’m burnin’ up, like I’m on fire inside of me. And when you left me, I…” he had trouble forming the words, “I wasnae… I couldnae ken how bad it would be. It was worse, somehow, and I was prayin’ to whatever god that would hear me for some sort of mercy. And I had none. Until I saw, or I thought I saw…”

He came closer to you, reaching around your neck and pulling out his tags just like Price had done. His eyes shone with unshed tears. 

“You made me hope.”

He took your hand in his and held it tightly, as tightly as he dared, and looked you right in the face, 

“I didnae sleep with Bekah, nor Cherise, nor Anjali.”

“I know.”

“I didnae want to, either.”

“I know.”

“I’m in love with you, mèirleach.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Johnny used his tags around your neck to pull you into him, kissing you harshly, not allowing you to let go. You kissed him back, pressing at him with your tongue, tasting the champagne in his mouth, feeling his shaven face bristle against your smooth cheek. He moaned into you, speaking to you in a low whisper,

“Please, mèirleach, forgive me.”

“Johnny, there’s nothing to forgive.”

He hugged you to him and you rested your head against his neck, finally able to relax into him after days of being on a knife’s edge. 

But, you were distracted by the sound of a loud knocking against glass. You turned back toward the distillery and saw Ghost tapping on the huge floor to ceiling window and pointing to a microphone in his hand. You looked down and realized you never handed them back the mic from your speech. You were still wearing it, and the red light was on. 

You showed it to Johnny, stunned by your own idiocy. He spun to see Ghost waving slightly, and the rest of the wedding party — hell, the whole distillery — standing behind him in shock

+=+=+=+=+=+=+

Chapter 10 (Ending)

[hourcat]

pierre/charles and "Hot Single Parent and babysitter/nanny"

18. Hot Single Parent and babysitter/nanny

It's embarrassing, Charles thinks as he waits at the stoplight around the corner from his street, that he's on his way home now and not, you know, two and a half hours later than what he'd told the babysitter. He hadn’t even been out for more than an hour in the first place, including driving to the restaurant—

It’s the last time he lets Carlos set him up on a fucking date, so help him. You should stop using those single dad apps, he’d insisted while they were standing in line to pay for their cafeteria lunches, I know a guy.

And sure, Charles had been a little skeptical, especially because Carlos isn’t exactly known for his judgment around the office, but it’s been ages since he’s been out for real—Hervé is his life from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep, and it’s been that way since he was born. There’d been no time for dating, or really anything that wasn’t his son.

But Carlos had been insistent that Charles would like this guy. He is fun, he’d promised, and Charles, because he’s terrible at saying no, had agreed.

Of course, that agreement had hinged upon his life-saving babysitter, Pierre, being available.

I'm going out tomorrow night, he'd texted after pulling into the preschool parking lot, are you around to watch Hervé for the night? Pierre, of course, because he is the most reliable babysitter Charles has ever known, is free—so it’d been set, and Charles had gone out after giving Pierre the usual walkthrough of the house even though they’ve done this plenty of times before. Pierre had smiled at him easily, nodded, promised that Hervé is in good hands (something Charles knows without even having to hear it from Pierre himself) and Charles had said I’ll be home by 11, you can use my card to buy whatever you like.

“Don’t worry, Charles,” Pierre had murmured, resting a comforting hand on his bicep. The warmth of his palm had seeped right through Charles’ dress shirt. “Go out and have fun.” His smile had gotten wider, then, and it’d only struck Charles there, moments before he was about to go out on his first date in over three years, that Pierre is handsome. Really, just—handsome is a tasteful way of putting it, which he’d begged himself to stick to because, again, date.

So Charles left. Drove to the restaurant that Carlos had texted him the address to.

And, half an hour in, he’d left. Max was—Charles is going to kill his coworker for this, making him think that it would be a good time. There’s no spark and Charles knew it the moment they’d sat down, but he’d tried to at least stick it out because, maybe he’s just rusty after all this time.

No. There’s no two ways around it, it is simply a bad date. Charles doesn’t even feel bad for excusing himself to the bathroom and then bolting because talking to drying paint would be more interesting than whatever had been happening between them.

He only remembers that he hadn’t actually told Pierre he was on his way home until now, though—five minutes away from his house, at the world’s longest red light. He grabs his phone to shoot off a quick omw back message only to realize, to his chagrin, that it’d died somewhere between the restaurant and here. Stupid Google Maps.

The light finally turns green, and Charles tries his damnedest not to speed the rest of the way back. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a romantic life right now. Hervé is the only thing that matters to him, really—he’s sure spending time making faces at his son and giggling with him over wooden puzzles would be a thousand times more interesting than whatever obnoxious commentary Max was trying to give about…shit, Charles doesn’t even remember. He’ll pay Pierre for the whole night anyway, because it’s only right, but…he just wants to be home. The sight of his driveway is a bigger relief than he could’ve possibly imagined. He all but tumbles out of the driver’s seat, locking his car haphazardly and practically skipping up his front steps to knock, once, on the door.

Wait, he realizes flatly, this is my house. He’s about to open the door himself when it swings backwards and…

There’s Pierre. The look on his face goes from at ease to surprised in a moment, and he shifts on his feet to balance Hervé on his hip, keeping him snugly held against him. “Charles,” he says, eyebrows high on his forehead. “I thought you were—on a date?” He steps aside and Charles enters his own house, entirely enchanted by the sight before him.

“Papa!” Hervé exclaims, reaching one arm out to grab for him. He doesn’t loosen his hold on Pierre, though. “Me ‘n Pear pizza!!” His face is so bright with joy, laughter twinkling in his eyes, and a lump forms in Charles’ throat at the sight of it: his whole world, babbling delightedly as the babysitter��is beaming his full attention right at him, both arms now keeping him carefully tucked close.

“Yeah, big man,” Pierre murmurs, and then turns to Charles, “I ordered pizza and thought you were, um, the guy.” He laughs softly, then shrugs. “It should be here any minute, now, so you two can—if you haven’t already eaten, I—”

“No,” Charles interrupts hastily, waving a hand. Pierre’s mouth closes, protest stopped. For a moment, he can only stare: Hervé with his cheek smushed on Pierre’s shoulder, Pierre’s hold so casual yet careful as they stand in the hall. His son is good with people, Charles knows, but this is different. The fondness rolling off of the babysitter in waves is different than anything Charles has ever felt before, even when he quirks his brows at the extended silence. Oh. “No, um, you should—you should stay for dinner, Pierre. It’s.” Why is he nervous? This is his babysitter he’s talking to, not some—some date he’s meeting for the first time. “I came back early, you should at least eat with us.”

Pierre’s eyes, already warm with affection for Hervé, light up even more at the invitation. “Are you sure?”

Charles is. “Yes, yes, of course.” He tilts his head towards the kitchenette. “I’ll pay you for the whole night, but you should at least stay for dinner. I—” he coughs. “I think Hervé would love that.”

“Pear, Pear!” Hervé exclaims in agreement. It only takes a few moments before Pierre is smiling hugely, nodding along. Charles feels like a whole ton has been lifted off his shoulders. He’s not entirely sure why.

[silalcarin]

There should be more fanfics/fanart about Squall and Angelo's friendship

I was watching this walkthrough of Dissidia Final Fantasy Opera Omnia, and among the Lost Chapters — specifically, The Ice Reaper chapters — more specifically, The Secrets of Silent Types chapter — there's a conversation between Rinoa, Eiko, and Trey about silent-type/taciturn/lonely characters and their love for animals.

Take a good look at what Rinoa says about Squall and her dog, Sant' Angelo di Roma:

"Squall and Angelo are like best friends."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It reminds me of two scenes in Disc 3 of Final Fantasy VIII:

When Angelo follows the party into Lunar Gate, and Squall silently reassures her that he'll take care of Rinoa:

And when the party is at Edea's House, where, if Rinoa is not in Squall's party, he has a silent conversation with Angelo before she arrives:

In a relatively short amount of time (since, officially, it's never been established how much time passes during the main narrative of Final Fantasy VIII), Squall did become like best friends with his girlfriend's dog after all.

Eeeeeeee~!

And~ now I want to see more fanfics and/or fanart of Squall and Angelo's friendship~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOTE 1: View the screenshots from left -> right.

NOTE 2: I am posting this before Opera Omnia ends its services. Tomorrow, Wednesday 2/28/2024 is the last full day of service for this iOS / Android video game! On Thursday 2/29, it will close its services for good.

RIP Opera Omnia, you will be missed~ ☹️😔😞🥺😢😭

[ricky-fitness-ukagaka]

Ricky Fitness Ukagaka/ Ghost!!

Hello anyone possibly seeing this!! This blog is going to serve as a documentation of making a ghost of Ricky Fitness, the drummer for the band The Aquabats! I don't really expect this to gain any traction as it's just going to be a place for me to keep all my info together but if you're interested by where this goes by all means please follow along!!

I had the idea for this ghost while I was at work today lol and it's been all I can think about so I really hope I follow through on this

Why Ricky? Years and years ago my stepdad got me into the Aquabats, specifically the Super Show and I was obsessed with it. Immediately Ricky was my favorite, I dressed up as him for halloween one year and actually had an aquabats themed birthday. Then in 2019 I got see them live when they went on tour. After that I sortaaaa forgot about them for a while until I saw them on their most recent Finally tour!! I saw them a few days ago and waow it brought back the obsession FAST!! I actually got to high five Ricky after the show and yea shit was back full force lol. Been binging the super show lately and just finished s2 and I'll move onto the radventure series soon.

I know I could (and probably should) make this about a more and wildly known character but anyone could do that, pretty sure most people aren't making Ricky ghosts so here I am

Timeline- I really have no idea how long this is gonna take as I have never done this lol. I'm still in school and have work so my free time is limited but at the least I would like this to be done before next summer starts. This may be a good or awful estimate of time but again I have no clue so...!

To make this I am using the ghost walkthrough by Zarla the creator of the Undertale AU, Handplates (my fav au🫶). I will link that guide at the bottom.

I haven't officially even started this besides downloading the template but I'm hoping to really start it tomorrow

This specific post will be updated every time I make progress on this . I have little coding experience besides customizing html code on toyhouse so I really don't know how long this is gonna take.

uhhh I think this is it for now so uh If you see this follow my main @sailinginstars 🗣️🗣️ tbh im not too active but ill try to be for this. anyways the guide is this

gn chat i gotta lock in if theres any spelling mistakes ill fix in the morning lol🤞 (07-24-2024)

[coeluvr]

I'm so glad we are finally talking about that first part of dying at the beginning because I remember choosing that option repeatedly in my first walkthrough and being like "lol what he's gonna do if I say no? Kill me too? 🤪" and he, in fact, did it.🧍

LOL 😭 Another thing I should have made clearer is that it wasn't him...

I was like "I'll make him say he'll go see them tomorrow so people know it wasn't him" but no one trusts him, with good reason for that, so some thought it was him asdfkfjjd

Well, maybe it's better if it's left ambiguous anyway... too bad I already said it wasn't him on here...

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Any fics with sweet sex with top Kurt plots good

If you specifically want top Kurt, here is the tab.

Here are some which are specifically sweet sexy moments (not necessarily top Kurt, but some personal faves of mine.) i'm always looking out for more, so please suggest. ~Jen

Tomorrow, Today Will Be Yesterday by flaming_muse

Kurt and Blaine in the future, when our now is their past.

~~~~~

Last First Time by misqueue

It’s not until the end of Kurt and Blaine’s second first date - the one after they finally, officially stop tiptoeing around their issues and feelings and decide to work them out and get back together in the spring before Blaine graduates from McKinley - that it gets awkward.

~~~~~

Do not Disturb By rainjoyswriting

Author's Note: I seriously wanted to write some smut, but wanted to write *not* the first time smut for once. Damn you series for reducing me to speculation. You should give us detailed, in-depth walkthroughs of how all of this is going to work so we *know*. Until then, just me trying to reconcile Kurt's relationship with sex with his relationship with Blaine, bless the little penguin.

~~~~~

Steal A Heart Verse by MochaCappuccino

Blaine offers to help Kurt afford Dalton by having him room with him. Kurt repays him by helping him through his family drama. Love, angst, adventure, and lots of sex ensues.

~~~~~

How Something Like Luck You Are by OhQuixotica

Kurt and Blaine have a crappy date, then make up for it on the playground, and Blaine never does find his shoes.

[bugbyte]

Today was good! I’m a little overwhelmed!

3:30 am posting because I’m feeling slightly wound thanks to today being a whole day, but it wasn’t a bad day?

Short version: bunch of appointments, thankfully all online, but after last week being stress central this was tolerable. I got my MMJ eval and it was quick and easy and if anything I over prepared because I’m so used to not being believed and having to back myself up with data. (Which I have to gather and keep for myself because medicine is apparently just a free for all where no one communicates with each other through the online app they have specifically so they can all access data about me from each other! Neat!)

Anyway that was a major relief and I was ready to cry because they said that this should work really well with the conditions and symptoms I have. I’ll probably write something up on the process later (because I would’ve liked a plain English walkthrough of what to expect but that’s ok) but I got my card from the state, which is all digital now, so welcome to the future, I guess.

We headed out to a pretty well reviewed and priced medical dispensary in the area and had a long info session on what would work best for me and landed on some low dose (for now) capsules and gummies. Then we got fried chicken because I’d had enough for one day and went home to see if it would work.

I took a capsule, ate my chicken, and waited. They did advise taking it with a fatty food (could’ve been peanut butter or avocado or anything really; we just got chicken for its uh, health…improving….properties….yeah that sounds right) It took like a solid hour and change to notice anything, and the effects were pretty minor.

I kept trying to explain what was happening to Delade but it was a very subtle thing and hard to get across. Basically the calmest I’ve felt in ages (bonus) and like a slight tiredness, like when you’re tired at the end of the day but not exhausted or like drugged tired if you take something to get to sleep and it hits hard. Just a nice soft calm feeling.

I got brave and tried adding in an extra half a gummy (watermelon flavor!) and that hit much more quickly and mostly just added to the soft feeling. Trying to put it in better words, it was like the different between laying directly on the hard floor, or laying on a puffy blanket on the floor. You can still feel the floor, but it’s much more comfortable than otherwise. I didn’t really feel particularly loopy other than finding a few things funnier than they probably actually were. I think I would compare it in drowsiness more to like…if you’ve been given an opioid after surgery or dental work or something, it’s kind of more like that than feeling just knocked right out. I always felt like these kinds of things gave me a sort of “cozy,” safe feeling while still being conscious enough to do some light things, and this was similar. Everybody’s different though so I might be a weirdo.

So yeah, it does work! I wasn’t expecting like a 100% change in pain levels, and this will definitely take some fine tuning to get right, but there was a difference for sure. I had the makings of a nasty headache after being stressed out all afternoon, which didn’t seem affected much by anything I took so that’s interesting. If I hadn’t had the headache I probably would have attempted some comic work but staring directly into a screen felt like a bad idea. In any case the sharp edges of the pain in the rest of my body got filed way down and I’m pretty amazed overall.

I know this can work now! So I can try again tomorrow! Hopefully with less stress headache so I can get a better gauge on how it actually feels! And hopefully try to draw.

So now I just have to figure out how not to feel weird about this talking to various doctors. Some recommended it, some I can imagine being less positive, but I think the anxiety about being judged is mostly in my head.

Anyway! It was a good experience overall, both the process for getting the card and actually trying the drug itself. If it’s something you’ve been looking into and have questions I can try and answer based on my (admittedly brief) experience so far. I only know how things work in NY, but being pretty anxious I get how it can feel more enormous to figure out when you don’t know the whole scope of a thing or what it’s like to actually do.

This entire thing makes me cackle btw because in fifth grade I won some DARE essay contest in school and I think got some kind of gift card I spent on art supplies, and a hat with the DARE lion mascot thing on it, which I think I still have and should probably start wearing for maximum dumbassery.

[pureplaysgames]

Amnesia Memories ~Ikki - Bad Ending Walkthrough~

For this walkthrough you'll be able to achieve all of Ikki's Bad Endings.

**The "LOAD SAVES" in this guide corresponds to the "SAVES" from the Good Ending guide, which can be found directly below.

Other Endings: Good | Normal

Recommended Route: Shin -> Ikki -> Kent -> Toma -> Ukyo

Gameplay

LOAD SAVE 1

August 1

Ahaha...

I'm fine.

Did I have work tomorrow?

Then, could you walk me to work tomorrow?

Yes, I'll see you again.

August 2

I'm sorry, I'll get ready quickly.

Yes, please.

Hey, Ikster.

I'll eat toast or something light.

Yeah, I will.

The customer is the enemy!

Welcome, dear customer.

Could you please repeat that?

Thank you very much, Master.

1 coffee 2 teas

Um... I can stand by myself.

We're not walking home together today?

Actually, I got a little lost...

August 3

I think we took the path along the railroad.

Yes, sir.

No, it's okay.

Ikki...?

What do you mean challenge?

August 4

Got it. I'll stay away from him.

It's okay, I'm used to it.

I just don't want to be alone anymore.

August 5

Nothing has changed.

Let's just let him go.

August 6

Oh right, I did forget. What a surprise...

May I get you anything, Madam?

It's okay, don't worry about it.

Which rumor?

August 7

What time was that train, again?

Do I know them?

August 8

She really is cute.

Do you think the rumor is true?

Okay, I'll wait.

I'd be okay holding hands...

Can I ask about Mine?

Do you dislike me, too...?

I wouldn't confess.

August 9

Please stop!

...I don't know if I should.

(Choose all options)

You could be nicer about it...

That really is too harsh.

I, um...

Maybe he feels lonely living on his own.

August 10

Sorry...

...I'm sorry.

Um, you're a little close...

...The fireworks are pretty.

...Go right ahead.

August 11

I'm going out with Ikki...

What do you know?

He told me to watch out for resentful people.

Dead Man's War

No, I wouldn't dislike it...

Um...

Can I see your packing list tomorrow?

August 12

I wonder if Ikki's fans will come, too.

I think I might be falling for him...

August 13

.........

(Orion, where are you...?)

(Who is that man...?)

August 14

He's a friend!

Thank you, Ikki. That'd be nice...

Do you like me, Ikki?

Well... Okay, then.

August 15

I think he's grown to like me now.

August 16

...I don't remember.

No, please, stop!!

Bad Ending 1

LOAD SAVE 3

August 20

Yes.

...Yes, I'll try.

...Let's go left.

Bad Ending 2

LOAD SAVE 4

August 25

...I don't dislike him, but...

Bad Ending 3

[plasma-tree]

He's growing like a weed.

He̶̓̋?

Ha… Yes. I'm almost certain he's a boy.

…When should we let your mother know?

N-… I don't know. I'm gonna be hone̶̓̋st, Ed, my childhood wasn't great, and I don't know if I can make myself involve her in our baby's life.

You're̶̓̋ not… Mad about that, are you, Ed?

No, darling. To be fair, I'd like to avoid your mother myself… For obvious reasons.

The̶̓̋n… Let's get the he̶̓̋ll out of here.

You mean to leave Ravenwood?

With you. Us. I wanna get away from the doom and gloom… And mo̵̿͠m.

Are yo̵̿͠u… Are you cool with that?

You know… I am. We should go somewhere that isn't so… Entertwined with death.

It'd be goo̵̿͠d for our baby… And good for us, too.

One condition… Can we get a second dog?

Hah, ye̶̓̋ah, we can. As soon as we get se̶̓̋ttled in, ok?

Deal~

You just go̵̿͠ back to bed, ok? I'll start looking for a new place. I'll handle it.

Thank you, love…

Alright… Hm.

No… Way o̵̿͠ut of our price range.

Nah… Can't affo̵̿͠rd that one either.

Hm. No̵̿͠.

Fuck it. Increase se̶̓̋arch radius.

Ooh… Look at that. Those̶̓̋ are really nice apartments… And the price is like… Wow. Crazy low.

Wo̵̿͠ah. It has a pool and everything, too. I know it's in Strangerville… But…

It's fine̶̓̋. I'm sure it's fine.

He̶̓̋ y… Hi. I wanted to ask if you had any vacancies.

You do̵̿͠?

Yeah. So̵̿͠rry. My name is Nyon Specter. N-y-o-n. Specter. Yeah, like a ghost.

Uh… Yeah, just o̵̿͠ne. We want to get a second dog in the future, though.

Pet frie̶̓̋ndly? Sweet!

Ye̶̓̋ah, I wanna check the place out. Can I come next--

Tomorrow? Ok. Ye̶̓̋ah, I can come tomorrow for a walkthrough.

Alright. Thanks. Around 1pm? Sure̶̓̋.

Ok. See̶̓̋ya then. Thanks again.

He̶̓̋y Ed?

Mm?…

I'm gonna be gone for a couple̶̓̋ of hours tomorrow. Like… From 10AM to 2pm.

[worldwright]

Good evening !

We're planning to move in middle june if we're late. omg i can't believe we're so close to this >.< i'll be OUT in no time and barely talking to my parents

i'm gonna prepare my meal for tomorrow (there's smth happening in my town, and we'll ate in a park with some friends, if i take pictures and all, i'll send you them over on discord bc i'm NOT putting my face and my town out there on tumblr, not even disclosing the event lmao, my father basically worked in digital security/hunt back when he was still in the military, so i know things too well), gonna make some onigiri with eggs in it

so i might be late tomorrow

Laika went to the groomer today, i don't like that since she doesn't smell like she normally does (i don't like artificial scents :/ hurt my nose), but she's an australian shepherd so it's needed

have a wonderful morning my friend !

yeah digital safety is good lol, I should probably start doing better myself (:

non-smelly dog?? sad :((((((( it's ok, she'll be stinky again soon 🥰🥰🥰

my friend and I finished the main story if cyberpunk 2077 last night, and I was so sad that it was over :(((((( AND THEN THIS MORNING THE GAME WAS 50% OFF ON STEAM??????? anyway I got it and now I gotta like. learn. how to play video games. or I could just fuck around in character creation lol

tattoo today and picking up the car for apartment walkthrough tomorrow!!!!!!!!

hope your potluck is fun!! have a wonderful evening, friend :3

[asoulofatlantis]

Yeah... he is that good.

This is ALMOST as satisfying as watching Jusis hit Rufus in CS4 XD Some people just deserve a hard punch in the face ;P

Right! Give it to him! He deserves it!

Well it was supposed to hurt!

Imagin someone who can even surprise Cao... this woman is going to be dangerous as heck. And when she eventually marries that man and they work together... urg, what a nightmare! Heiyuu will be unstoppable!

I wonder if the symbols on that thing have any meaning. Like that every Genesis stands for something. And all those somethings together, will form whatever is necessary to stop the end of the world.

Or something along the lines like this.

Oh so we know that already? I totally forgot ^^' But... influence life... was does that even mean?

Uh... I am not sure if I am happy about that or not ^^' But my grudge is probably totally stupid anyway, if Rean shows up here will probably be all buddy-buddy with her and I will feel like an idiot for being salty when he himself isn't... so... uh... hurray? ^^'

Thats tough. Like to get chased around by a caused Celis or...

Walkthrough says we have to do them both anyway eventually, so let just start with the first one for once. Maybe we work with Towa again... because I am not homesick enough yet XD

Something tells me that as soon as the game reveals who she really is we will all be: "OF COURSE!" after being shocked for a minute or two that is XD But seriously, I am at a loss. I have a few ideas, but they all sounds ridiculous if you think about them a bit longer. But there is no way in hell this isn't someone we know.

I almost forgot that I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning to check if my illness is better and because of that I have to wash my hair (I am a bit lazy with it when I am home sick, to be honest ^^') and then make my Steam Deck ready to be shipped, as I am sending it back because I am absolutely disappointed by it.

It was meant for gaming merly when I can not use my big (and expensive) tower-computer so I though around 700€ would spare me the money for a bigger and heavier gaming-laptop. However, I should have payed the extra money, as the Steam Deck is just... dare I say it? Cheap! From the 111 games I own (WOW!) only around 20 were Steam Deck compatible and there is no system behind it which one is and which one isn't. Cold Steel 1 is, but 2, 3 and 4 are not. Reverie is but Kuro 2 is not. Makes no sense whatsoever. ALSO Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons games who always come out for the Switch too, so should be ready for a Console like this, are not compatible either. Not to mention that it took my over half an hour to get that thing even running do to an issue that A LOT of people have for years now... this thing was just not worth 700€. So I send it back.

Eventually I will get a gaming laptop. Might be more expensive, but I will buy one for around 1000€ in a sale around black Friday or so if there is a good offer than and than at least I can not just play ALL Steam games, but also ones from the other platforms, like Sims 4 from EA for example. And I can use Tumblr for Live-Reactions and watch Videos and so on. Its really more convenient to begin with and thus probably worth the extra money.

Anyway, that said, I have to get the Steam Deck ready to get shipped back so this is were my little trip to Kuro 2 ends.

[anamazingangie]

Summer Snippets & Stories, Day 17: Investment

Rules /Ao3 Collection / #HotDaemyraSummer

Story starters: (feel free to use, edit, or reference in whatever way you see fit, though credit would be appreciated if they copied word for word!) 

.

Midcentury AU: You’d think their wives were cars not living breathing women with the way the men spoke about them. Talking about their tits, and trim little waists. The shoes, stockings, slips, and lingerie they bought to make them pretty. They seemed to think their wives were cars, too, she thought as she caught the end of their conversation; “Oh yes—she has been a wonderful investment, but I think it’s time for a new one.”  When she went to refill his glass, he whispered that she should come home with him. She dumped the pitched of ice water onto his lap, and after apologizing profusely told him, “You might want to invest in a new suit first.” 

.

Bridgerton/Antony/Kate/Regency Vibes!AU: Daemon decides it’s time to make a big investment, one his father would be proud of. He’s going to find a wife. 

.

The final question in the interview was simply, “What was your best investment?” And the answer was easy, “My family.” No quantity of money could compare, not to Daemon Targaryen. “I wish I had invested more in them, even.” He said, thinking about the anniversaries and birthdays he’d missed. The time he’d never get back.

.

He knew it was a terrible investment. There was a reason people didn’t buy medieval castles to live in, even small ones. It was in ‘good condition for its age’ which meant ‘still standing’ and not much else. The realtor couldn’t even find a way to be positive about it, it was that bad. Daemon was relieved when the walkthrough was over.  Rhaenyra however, was grinning. “That’s it! That’s the one!”  Arguments like, “It’s missing half its ceiling and it has a rat infestation,” were met with, “I know, it lets so much light in, and I’ve always loved animals.” She was clearly insane.  “Are you insane? It’s a horrible investment.” The realtor said when he called them. “Nope, just in love.” 

Tomorrow's word: Squeeze

[jasmine-otome]

KBTBB Switch: Eisuke S2 Twist of Fate Walkthrough

This walkthrough is intended for the Switch port of KBTBB.

Key: Happy Ending Good Ending Masterlist

Episode 1:

“Nothing.” ”Why are you kissing me like that?” ”Are you sure you won’t get mad?”

“It makes me happy.” ”I know, it’s hard.” ”It’s not a big deal.”

Episode 2:

“Please be careful.” ”Are you really leaving?” ”Please calm down.”

“I’ve never played darts before.” ”I will if Eisuke does.” ”Sounds fun.”

Episode 3:

“Fine.” ”Why?” ”Why can’t I see it?”

“Not during work…” ”Does it look good on me?” ”I should save it for special occasions.”

Episode 4:

“Did something happen?” ”Is it about the protest?” ”Can’t we do it tomorrow?”

“Please stop.” ”Don’t tease me.” ”I’m embarrassed.”

Episode 5:

“I didn’t look at it.” ”I found it while cleaning.” ”Why did you hide it?”

“The food here is great.” ”I’m a little tired.” ”Oh, I’m sorry.”

Episode 6:

“I want to stay with you.” ”Okay.” ”I’ll be fine alone.”

“I’m sorry.” ”I was the scapegoat.” ”Are you mad?”

Episode 7:

“Not exactly.” ”I want to show what I’m made of.” ”I want to stand on my own two feet.”

Move towards the man. Keep your promise to Eisuke. Be frozen with fright.

Episode 8:

“Yes.” ”I’m happy when it’s your day, too.” ”That’s not true.”

“Don’t go.” ”Go with someone else.” ”I’ll go with you.”

Episode 9:

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” ”That’s so like you.” ”Did everyone else know?”

“Now’s not the time for rude comments.” ”I wish I was always helpful.” ”I’m glad to hear it.”

[lottiexevans]

Lottie nodded a bit with a smile as she took another swig from her beer. "Believe me, I'd love to forget the possibilities," she laughed. "It's just hard to turn my brain off sometimes. But yeah, no. Even before I was a doctor, I never understood the attraction of that game. Who would willingly drown themselves for an apple? Or a bottle of liquor. Like…nah, I'm good. I could buy my own alcohol and not get some sort of disease or some shit." As a doctor, she didn't understand how anyone could play this game and risk all the potential injuries or diseases. As a regular person, a part of her got it. Wanting to prove something. But still, it just wasn't worth it. Especially not since there was no way she was going to risk fucking up her makeup. "People get weird and do stupid shit on holidays," she said with a shake of her head. "You should see some of the crazy stuff that comes into the ER on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Pretty much any holiday where someone has to carve something. Or use a chainsaw if they want a fresh Christmas tree or something." At the mention of requesting time off, Lottie nodded eagerly. "Oh I know what you mean. I'm saving all of my vacation time for Christmas," she laughed. "I'll work morning shifts and on-call shifts. I have about three weeks' worth of vacation time saved up, and I'm taking almost all of December off. I usually submit that in early to mid-February so they can't say it's not available," she said with a shrug. "There are other trauma surgeons there, so at least it's not like I'll be deserting them. But yeah, I'm sure the hospital is going to see quite a few patients that need banana bags tomorrow." Looking around the town hall at all the games and options, she shrugged a bit. "Well beer pong should be fairly safe as long as they're switching out the cups and stuff. The haunted walkthrough will probably be okay; I've been through it once, and it really wasn't scary at all. But…I also love horror things so my thoughts towards it may be different," she shrugged a little with a smile on her face. "Honestly, all of the activities except the apple bobbing are probably pretty safe," she laughed. "You just have to be careful with the drinking games like Good Witch Bad Witch and the flip cup games. Depending on what you're drinking, you can give yourself alcohol poisoning pretty quick."

Charlie's face screwed up even more as the list of potentials grew from just cold sores, and she shuddered slightly as she let out a groan. "Okay, ew, didn't even think of all that, but now I'm questioning it's inclusion even more." She eyed the tub of booze soaked apples, knowing that the number of participants that clearly didn't have an issue with sharing germs was more than enough to warrant a repeat at next year's bash. Even if she and a the others that shared her distaste didn't participate in the game, it still seemed popular enough -- a fact that she really didn't understand. "Oh em gee, same, except at the bank instead the hospital obviously. Like, we're not even open late, but people are still just super weird all day on Halloween and I don't get it. I totally asked for today and tomorrow off weeks ago just so I can enjoy the party. I feel a little bad for the people that have to go to work after this, with how many alcohol related games there are. Speaking of... see any that won't run the risk of giving me some sort of contagious disease?"