#should I speak?
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Me when I don’t talk: am I… boring?? :(
Me when I talk: o no am I… annoying??? D:
#cyn vent diary#introvert#overthinking#ah yes the never ending cycle#should I speak?#should I not speak?#should i do it?#lmao nope#every time I open my mouth it’s just: *regret*
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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love when senshi just kind of goes
#i should start drawing him like this more often#i have a bunch of senshi doodles#im speaking#senshi#dungeon meshi#senshi of izganda#big post
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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one of the first things i noticed after moving into ~*~my house~*~ is that (probably because it's on a street that gets a lot of pedestrian traffic to/from the nearby corner store) a lot of people were tossing litter into the front garden bed. liquor bottles and vapes and plastic wrappers and the like. which, you know, gross, please don't do that, we live in a society, but also where the fuck else are you supposed to put it? there's no city trash cans on this street.
and, well, we were tearing out most of the plants in those front beds anyway because the previous owner of the house made some very odd garden decisions ("endless landscaping" the house listing said, and if by "endless" they meant the sheer quantity of biomass that needs removed, they were right) and we want to put in more drought-tolerant native plants, so i went online and spent about $100 on a large sturdy outdoor trash can and set it up in front of my house. (quite cheap as house-related purchases go; i spent $100 on gravel last week.)
guess how many liquor bottles i've had to pick out of my garden since then? ZERO. and it's really convenient for ME when i'm coming home with an empty boba, or opening mail out by the mailbox, or picking up the yard a little bit. and according to @combat-epistemologist (who does more yard work than i do) people walking past have actually thanked us for installing the trash can, which is extremely cool. i did a civic service!! i made my neighborhood better!!! i'm helping :D
#the trashcan speaks#idk. feels good to actually tangibly make the world around me just slightly better for everyone#i should go to more city council meetingssssss#housepoasting
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I need everyone to take this quiz right now and reblog what element they get
[EDITED: The link is dead but I'm happy to see everyone's result and reaction to this 💗]
#i dont see peoplw poating this here so i thought I should start it first#also the result I get is actually almost accurate??? crayyyzyyy#asuka speaks#reblog game#quiz
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sometimes katsuki gets really dramatic (but let’s be fr when isn’t he) and acts like you ghosted him when you don’t respond to his texts in thirty minutes. not in a creepy way, just in a dramatic, needy way.
he’s not worried or anything, he checks his phone every few minutes to see if any texts from you have come in. it’s a force of habit, because you usually respond pretty quickly but after a while it gets a little weird. and then he sends you a text and another one and unconsciously he starts spamming you a bit. again, not in a creepy way. just an annoying needy whiny dramatic baby, way.
“what’s up, bakubro ? you keep checking your phone.” katsuki doesn’t look at kirishima, eyes glued to his phone when he just grunts out an “‘m fine.”
and then kaminari just has to open his big mouth. his voice playful as he speaks “uh oh, trouble in paradiseee~?” katsuki scoffs, telling the blonde to fuck off.
and he isn’t worried..not at all. until he thinks about it and maybe there was trouble in paradise ?? were you maybe ignoring him ? what’d he do ?
you look up from your notebook at the sound of your phone vibrating. oh, it’s katsuki ! you smile just seeing his contact pop up.
“hi, katsu !”
silence, no response. you try again.
“…hello ?”
you hear a scoff from the other end, and some shuffling before your boyfriend graces you with an answer. “look at your phone, you idiot.”
“hello, katsu.” you snort. “yeah, yeah. hi.” you can practically hear the roll of his eyes through the phone, you giggle and your boyfriend huffs through the speaker.
it’s then that you see the wall of texts from him “oh, did you text me ? my bad i was studying.”
there’s a faint sigh of relief “‘s fine.”
“were you worried ?” you tease.
“fuck no. just—“ a sudden pause then katsuki grumbles “answer my texts next time, moron. bye. don’t overdo it while studying or i’ll kill you.”
“meanie !” you giggle, and when he hangs up you send him a text.
we can study together next time, just so you don’t flip out again 💗😚
katsuki scoffs a mean laugh, then sends you a middle finger.
#..i thought about this at work do not perceiveee#i just love overdramatic suki i lub lub it#idk if this was even coherent im hungry for food and him#like i wanna eat him#worst case scenario he’ll pop up in your room and bother you /ask you wtf u were doing for so long#like nothing should stop you from talking to your loving doting perfect boyfriend fuck you#..now cuddle him#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#cash speaks <3#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki drabble#katsuki bakugou drabble#lbakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo fluff#katsuki fluff#katsuki x y/n#bakugou fluff#katsuki bakugou x you#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n
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ok gayboy
#LOTUS PERSONA ART LETS GOOOOOOOO IT ONLY TOOK ME FIVE FUCKING MONTHS#this is for the three ppl that follow me and know about persona eat up my loves 😍#i love narcissistic bastards who are doomed by the narrative he's a keeper fs#(idk anything abt akechi except hes a gayass detective and loves pancakes and is a tsundere /JJJJJJJ)#he has this sopping wet quality about him that i adore very much. it's the homosexuality i think#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#akechi goro#goro akechi#lotus draws#bro why is his hair so fucking hard to draw it's like chuuya's but if he used a straightening iron#speaking of him this is the hair color i wish he had :(((( my fav hair color frfr it exceeds every other one#the light desaturated brown with hints of russet MWAH MWAH#anyway it's three on a school night i think i should sleep ig😔
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It's funny how opinions can change over time for instance I used to want Bruce to be a good parent but then I realised how fucking boring that is to read at the end of the day comics are soap operas and I'm here for the drama
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#character development <- for me not for bruce#give that bitch some regression#but yeah i think there is a fine line with bruce and his parenting#like imo he should be trying his best but failing spectacularly at it#all his actions should come from his own fucked up sense of duty#anyway i think ive mentioned this before#but someone just liked one of my really old posts#talking about good parent bruce and how hes important yada yada yada#and reading it made me go#i dont agree with this bitch she does not speak for me >:(#so setting the record straight#.... until i change my mind again lmao
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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@eydilily 's gempearl designs r so gorgeous i had to draw........ also a swap?? ft. some nzsl bc i was briefly possessed by the spirit of. hands.
#gempearl#shiny duo#ooooohhhh idk how to tag. what's the etiquette?? kinda don't wanna do the main tag for ship stuff?? aughhhh#disclaimer the sl might be a bit iffy. i haven't learnt any since high school but the online dictionary is pretty good so i'm HOPING :)#ik the sign for ''if'' is slightly off; the thumb should touch the chin. anyway :)#the idea of creaking gem who can't speak PLUS warden pearl who's sensitive to noise.... SIGN LANGUAGE IT'S PERFECTTTT. tho i mayyy have ove#looked how pearl is reading the sign (is she blind??) WHOOPS. it's probably fine 😬#my art#also hello eydilily if you see this i hope it's okay for me to draw these designs!! they are just SO GOOD i was SPELLBOUND when i saw themm#the texture and colours of the original..... OUGH. STUNNING.#mcyt
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"You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself." Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
#art donaldson becoming the most interesting character to me#i'm just obsessed with his jealousy and desires#he's so opaque bc he rarely speaks up but he's an open book when you know how to read him#that much jealousy should have consumed him entirely from the inside we're lucky he's still standing#“was anyone going to tell me about this parallel or was i supposed to notice it by myself?”#i say as never check the tag bc i'm easily annoyed#this seems like an obvious parallel considering the next scene that happens with tashi but i never realized it before now oops#nasty snake donaldson they will never take you away from me!!#art donaldson#tashi duncan#patrick zweig#challengers
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look i’m rly not getting cashgrab sellout nostalgia bait tour from this for many reasons. the main one being that they’re building upon the original concept.
they could’ve made tour announcement posters with a TBP png and call it good, but no they filmed a whole promo for it and left this in the description:
hinting that there’s much more to the universe that they’re going to tell throughout this tour, i’m guessing through sets, costumes, and gerard’s little speeches between songs. maybe something more..
then there’s the political undertones. i don’t think i have to say much about this considering the election happened just last week and the band is very politically vocal. and the announcement IS for a north american tour. the gaudy dictator imagery, a fascist regime. come on.
then there’s the fact that they have absolutely been cooking this for awhile. first of all there’s the secretary
i don’t have to spell it out for anyone, this shit is a CLEAR parallel. THEN there’s their TBP performance at WWWY.
the background looking like the blank slate of something in the very beginning of its creation. plain black and white, the band in all black. then, there were the simple backgrounds, pointing towards obvious themes throughout the album.
it’s a rough draft, each projection is a frame in the storyboard. they knew this was coming, this performance WAS the rough draft in the making.
i’m sure the money has been good for them since the reunion, but they’re not just treating this as a means for the payout. this is a whole fucking production. and we all saw how much they put into the reunion tour. so yeah, we’re in for so much more from them.
basically we’re fucked.
#I KNOW I’M ONE TO TALK. YEAH I’M BIASED. BUT LET ME SPEAK#this is hella rough bc i rly should b working rn but i had to get this out#i add refs later#mcr#my chemical romance
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breaking the sky sword.... beauty!!
#orv#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#ever makes art#i drew punisher with short hair first which i think suits yjh better.... but then i remembered that im pretty sure he has long hair#logically speaking this technically should be in my bookmarks series. but the tonal dissonance is too profound LOL
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is brooksquirrel even a real ship i dont think ive seen it before. anyways i think they should both leave their husbands and get together please.
#fighting artblock rn#im just speaking my truth i think these girls should at the very least hang out#stormfur was SO hard to design for literally zero reason omfggg#warriors#warrior cats#warrior cats art#squirrelflight#squirrelstar#squirrelflight wc#squirrelflight warriors#squilf#brook wc#brook where small fish swim#brook warriors#brook where small fish swim warriors#bramblestar#brambleclaw#stormfur#stormfur wc#stormfur warriors#my art#squirrelstar warriors#squirrelstar wc
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someone asked if i had ever drawn gojo with his scars, now i have :>
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this outfit i swear im gna get called out as a fake gojohater#its not my fault its the best one he gets#speaking of which i am enjoying the relative bliss before this fight n this outfit are animated sighs i already know its gna b mayhem#but ths neither here nor there ths none of my business#anyway this gojo took a lot longer than it should have also but i had some mishaps with th pose >:/ iykyk#i also wanted to like. toe th line with his expression between unsettling and relaxed if that makes sense??#mostly i didnt want him to look too genuine#idk how successful i was but i am Happy with it i think#or maybe its just the exhaustion talking#tbh im past exhaustion i think i spent over 14hrs drawing today i have been up since 7am and i am pretty sure my blood is energy drink#rings dinner bell gojolikers come get ur food#anon who asked i hope u enjoy! ty fr the request even if it was gojo /silly
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