#short term AND long term
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“as a tribute to her connection and dedication to the kennedy family” so that’s the story we’re sticking to alright! a diamond ring with a binding pattern all around it, called the unity ring. oh okay
#“jackie wore this ring often’’#she wore this way into the 70s btw even while married to onassis someone sedate me#just thinking about how bobby gifted jackie this ring right before his campaign in 1968#very much a monumental moment. Hm.#oh and btw it’s called the UNITY ring. interesting.#he could’ve literally gifted her this ring any other year but it was That specific year which would have signified so much change for them#short term AND long term#almost as if the ring was meant to signify some sort of private gesture only privy to them#rfk#bobby kennedy#jackie kennedy#robert kennedy#robert f kennedy#jbk#bobbyjackie#kennedy for your thoughts
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my ass needs a reason to go outside...
#i need to get out of their apartment#short term and long term#i want a roomate or someone to coexist with in my space#iv kinda been feeling droopy since i got home in this aspect
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Mightier Than The Sword
Gerson had one regret, but now Alvin has many. A fancomic about my thoughts and theories and who -and what- the Knight is!
While not directly connected, I'd say this one is in the same vein as the Deal With The Devil series! Hope you enjoy!
Alt text for this comic under the read more:
Page 1
Panel 1 - Wide shot of the interior of the Boom household. Several monsters are gathered in a clean-looking hall, dressed in somber clothing and talking quietly in small groups. The monsters include QC, Cat Mom, Toriel, Asgore and Mayor Holiday. Father Alvin stands waiting at a door in the hall as his sister, a red-headed turtle monster in a pink dress, exits through the door and speaks to him. “Alvin…he’s ready for you.”
Panel 2 - Mid shot as Alvin prepares to enter the room. Ms. Boom steps out of the way, and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Both of them look somber.
Panel 3 - Alvin enters the room, mostly dark and lit by a few candles on a nearby desk. Gerson Boom is lying on a bed ahead of him, watching him enter. Alvin closes the door behind him and says, “Father, I’m here.”
Panel 4 - Alvin approaches his father, lying in bed. The bedroom has a few amenities, including a footstool set off to the side, a large rug bearing the delta rune, and a massive bookcase filling the entire back wall. A few books and papers litter the ground. Alvin bows his head, and says, “The hammer is ready for…for afterwards.”
Gerson just smiles, and responds, “Wa ha, is it? Well, it’ll do fine, I suppose.”
Panel 5 - Closer shot of Gerson extending his right hand towards Alvin. He’s smiling still, content with where he is. “Come here, son.”
Page 2
Panel 1 - Closeup as Alvin takes his father’s hand in his own, and clasps it tight. “Whatever you need…I’m here,” he says from offscreen.
Panel 2 - Alvin kneels by his father’s bedside, still clasping his hands. Gerson says, “Of course you are. Wa ha…you’re such a good and kind man, Alvin.”
Panel 3 - Closeup on Alvin as he just holds on to his father’s hand. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes.
Panel 4 - Focus on Gerson as he holds up a hand to conspiratorially whisper to Alvin. “And I know I can trust you with a secret, right?”
Panel 5 - Closeup on Alvin as he looks back up, face earnest. “...Of course.”
Panel 6 - Gerson holds up one finger as he speaks to Alvin. “I told your sister I had no regrets, but that was a BIT of a fib! I’m afraid I have one regret…”
Panel 7 - Side view of Alvin as he learns closer, his face now worried. “Father?...”
Page 3
Panel 1 - Focus on Gerson as he leans back on his pillow, looking up at the ceiling. “I wish I had started earlier. Writing stories, I mean. Seein’ you an’ your sister’s eyes light up whenever I read you a new chapter…and then seeing all that joy from so many young folks after those stories were published!” he says, looking wistful.
Panel 2 - Alvin watches on sadly as Gerson continues, “It was the greatest feeling in the world, Alvin. It’s what life’s all about, y’know. Helping the young folks grow.”
Panel 3 - Gerson closes his eyes and looks back towards the ceiling again, still wistful. “So, I wish I’d started writing stories sooner.”
Panel 4 - Closeup on Alvin as he bows his head, still holding Gerson’s hand. “I truly do cherish those times you read to us, father…” he says.
Panel 5 - Closeup on Gerson as he closes his mind with happy memories. “Me too, Alvin. It’s a shame…I’ve still got so many tales to tell! But–”
Panel 6 - Gerson is interrupted by a round of hacking coughs. His time is fast approaching.
Panel 7 - Gerson settles back in to his bed and says, “The Angel’s given me SO many good, happy years. Doesn’t seem fair to ask for more.”
Panel 8 - Closeup on Alvin as he continues to hold his father’s hand tight. “This doesn’t seem fair, either…” he says, tears still pricking at his eyes.
Page 4
Panel 1 - Insert closeup of Gerson as he smiles at his son. “That’s life, Alvin!” He doesn’t seem bothered by his imminent passing.
Panel 2 - Side view as Gerson leans in closer to Alvin again, hand raised, back to sharing his secrets. “But, knowin’ my secret…there’s something I’d like to ask of you.”
Alvin faces his father with seriousness. “Anything,” he replies.
Panel 3 - Closeup on Gerson, as he looks hopefully at Alvin. “You have a good heart, Alvin. I want you to know this joy, too.”
Panel 4 - Gerson continues in the next panel: “Please try writin’ stories of your own, alright?” Closeup on Alvin as he looks shocked and a bit worried by the request.
Panel 5 - Mid shot as Alvin holds up a hand to Gerson in protest. He says, “Father, I…I have no talent for writing fiction. Not like YOU.”
Panel 6 - Closeup on Gerson as he refutes his son: “Hogwash! I know you can.”
Panel 7 - Wide shot as Alvin stands up, and looks around the room. “No, I…”
In the foreground, there’s Gerson’s desk, currently showing some lit candles, some paper, an inkwell, a notebook, and his favorite fountain pen.
Page 5
Panel 1 - Closeup as Alvin grabs two objects off of the desk: the small notebook and the fountain pen. Offscreen, he says, “If you just…”
Panel 2 - Back at Gerson’s bedside, Alvin pulls up the footstool and puts the pen and notebook in front of him, intending to use it. He faces his father, and says, “Tell me your ideas, I could write them down, and–”
Gerson interrupts him: “‘Fraid it doesn’t work that way, Alvin!”
Panel 3 - Gerson holds up both of his hands and smiles as he explains: “My tales are between my soul and the pen. You’ll need to make your own.”
Panel 4 - Gerson watches as Alvin, tears in his eyes, looks down at the notebook and pen in hand. “I–I cannot…” Alvin starts, looking despondent.
Panel 5 - Side view of Alvin as tears continue to stream from his eyes. He says, “Not without you!” In the background, in grayscale, there is a scene from Alvin’s memory: Gerson reading a book to his two children by the fire. Gerson looks happy, and both kids are enraptured, with Alvin clinging to a cat doll that looks like Seam.
Panel 6 - Closeup on Gerson, his face now more worried and pleading towards Alvin. Gerson says, “Y-you can… It’s all I ask…”
Panel 7 - Gerson turns away as he’s again interrupted by a round of terrible sounding coughs. Alvin stands holding the notebook and pen in the foreground.
Page 6
Panel 1 - Horror comes over Alvin’s face as his father continues to cough loudly, clutching his chest. He realizes that his father might be close to death now.
Panel 2 - Wider overhead shot as Alvin turns away from Gerson, looking frantically around the room. “No! Not yet!--” he says desperately. Gerson is still racked with coughs.
Panel 3 - Closeup as Alvin grabs the candles from the desk–
Panel 4 - And then pulls a book from the bookshelf, with the delta rune on the front –
Panel 5 - And then finally pulls out what appears to be a beaded rosary, with the delta rune made of beads at the end of it.
Panel 6 - Wider shot as Alvin places the objects in front of him, candles to the side, holy book in front of him. Gerson can only lay there as he does so, trying to catch his breath.
Panel 7 - Front view of Alvin as he clasps his hands together in front of his face, the rosary threaded between his fingers. He closes his eyes and bows his head in prayer. “Angel…Angel above! Please, heed your servant’s prayer!”
Page 7
Panel 1 - Closeup on Alvin as he continues to pray, the candles glowing around him. He keeps his eyes shut even as tears well in them. “I know you call back my father’s soul, but please! Please refrain!”
Panel 2 - Gerson desperately reaches a hand out towards his son, shaking, but unable to reach him. In the foreground, the fountain pen sits on the footstool between them. “A-Alvin…” Gerson’s voice is shaky now.
Panel 3 - Aerial shot as Alvin prays over the book, and Gerson is still confined to the bed, only able to watch. “This world still NEEDS his gifts!” Alvin says. “I pray to you, don’t take them from us now!” The shadows around Alvin start to grow strange, not matching the candlelight.
Panel 4 - Gerson continues to hold out a hand, now not looking well. “No…”
Panel 5 - Closeup on the candles as they spark to life, now glowing stronger.
Panel 6 - A strange bright glow begins to emanate from Gerson. Behind him, the books in the bookcase all rattle and shift as if in a localized earthquake. The colors of the room grow brighter and stranger.
Panel 7 - Still reaching out a desperate hand, Gerson lets out a soft breath. His soul, an upside-down white heart, comes up from his body. On the footstool in the foreground, the fountain pen also begins to levitate, as if by magic.
Page 8
Panel 1 - Front shot of Alvin as he continues to pray desperately, his head bowed and hands together. “Grant us the love shown between his soul and the pen!” Behind him, the colors have grown stark and bright, and a shadow resembling the angel looms behind Alvin.
Panel 2 - Alvin looks up to discover something amazing and terrible: Gerson’s soul has been drawn to the fountain pen, and begins to flow down into it.
Panel 3 - Closeup as Gerson’s soul is completely absorbed into the pen, hovering high over the bed.
Panel 4 - The candles turn strange blue and pink colors, and the books in the bookcase shake and rattle relentlessly.
Panel 5 - Extreme closeup on Alvin’s eyes as he sees this miracle; the light of his father’s soul reflected in his eyes.
Panel 6 - Closeup as the pen suddenly drops, and clatters back on to the footstool.
Panel 7 - Wide aerial shot as the room very suddenly goes completely dark and silent, the bright colors and lights now gone. Alvin stands up and backs away from the bed, still clutching the rosary, his face filled with horror. Gerson now lies unmoving in his bed, having passed away.
Page 9
Panel 1 - The same shot as the first panel of the first page, with the other monsters waiting in the hallway. No one says anything as Alvin emerges from the bedroom, leaning on the door for support, his head bowed. Everyone in the room knows that Gerson has just passed, although they don’t know the rest.
Panel 2 - An establishing shot of the forest and mountains surrounding Hometown…the skies are a dark, gloomy gray.
Panel 3 - Above shot of Gerson’s newly dug grave. At the bottom of a small pit lies Gerson’s hammer, covered in his dust. Politics Bear stands over the grave, holding a shovel.
Panel 4 - Closeup as the shovel begins to dump dirt over the fresh grave.
Panel 5 - Another closeup of Gerson’s headstone, with bundles of fresh funerary flowers laid in front of it.
Panel 6 - Wide shot of Gerson’s funeral. Alvin stands over his father’s grave, reading last rites from one of his books. Lots of monsters are in attendance, including Alphys and Undyne, Napstablook, the Holiday and Dreemurr families, and more. A very young Kris, Noelle and Asriel are present, but Dess is not. Everyone is dressed in dark mourning attire.
Panel 7 - After the funeral, Toriel approaches Alvin and puts a hand on his shoulder. She says, “Beautifully said, Alvin. I know your father is watching proudly by the side of the Angel.” Alvin looks distant and mournful.
Panel 8 - A closeup of the fountain pen laying forgotten on the desk in Gerson’s room. Gerson is, perhaps, not actually with the Angel right now.
Panel 9 - Back at the funeral, Alvin bows his head, eyes closed. “You are too kind, Toriel,” he says.
Page 10
Panels 1-3 - We see the seasons pass through the changing of the trees…from the barren white trees of winter, to colorful pink blooms for spring, to the bright oranges and reds of fall.
Panel 4 - Sometime much later, Alvin again enters his father’s old room, alone.
Panel 5 - Much of Gerson’s room has remained untouched. The fountain pen still sits on his old writing desk in the foreground. Alvin steps inside, and carefully turns on the overhead light. “It’s been years,” he says.
Panel 6 - Alvin cautiously approaches the pen, which seems to loom large ahead of him. He hesitantly picks it up.
Panel 7 - Alvin places some blank pages on the writing desk. “Surely…”
Panel 8 - Alvin sits in front of the blank pages, still holding the pen cautiously. “Surely by now, I can do it.” He’s going to try writing.
Panel 9 - Closeup as Alvin dips the pen in the inkwell, and it comes away full of ink.
Panel 10 - Closeup as Alvin holds the pen over the blank page. The pen trembles slightly in his grip.
Panel 11 - Alvin tries to put pen to paper, but he’s still trembling. He looks down with great anxiety. “I…I…”
Panel 12 - Closeup on Alvin’s face as he looks more panicked, shaking and sweating. In the background, his memory of his father’s soul being absorbed into the pen plays back at him. This is still his fault.
Panel 13 - Closeup again as Alvin’s hand shakes uncontrollably, and the pen with it. Ink spots begin to dapple the blank page–
Page 11
Panel 1 - Alvin’s shaking hand accidentally knocks over the inkwell, and it spills black ink all over the blank page.
Panel 2 - Alvin picks up the ruined paper and folds it in half to try and stem the ink spillage. He quietly curses to himself.
Panel 3 - Closeup as Alvin holds his head in his hand. It’s clear that this isn’t going to work. “I can’t…”
Panel 4 - Closeup as Alvin puts the ink-stained paper back on the desk, and quickly grabs up the pen and inkwell.
Panel 5 - Taking the pen and inkwell, Alvin exits his father’s room again, head bowed and expression sad.
Panel 6 - Left behind, the folded paper slowly peels apart and unfolds…
Panel 7 - To reveal that the spilled ink has created a rorschach ink blot image of a titan.
Page 12
Panel 1 - Wide shot as Alvin trudges down the streets of Hometown, alone. His head his bowed, and he’s still clutching the articles he took with him. It’s almost nighttime, and the sky is dark. “I cannot bear this kind of burden,” he says to himself.
Panel 2 - Shot from behind Alvin as he approaches the school building. It’s dark, and no students or teachers should be there. “Maybe you belong where you always have…”
Panel 3 - Now indoors, Alvin continues down the empty hallway towards a particular destination. “With the youth.”
Panel 4 - Alvin opens the door to the storage closet at the end of the hall. It opens with a soft creak. “Teaching. Telling stories,” Alvin continues to say to himself.
Panel 5 - Alvin places the fountain pen and inkwell on a small shelf in the storage closet. The closet is almost completely black.
Panel 6 - The inkwell and pen are left on the shelf as Alvin closes the door behind him. His expression is mournful as he locks these reminders of his father away. “Inspiring someone better suited,” he says, hoping this is a suitable escape of his responsibility.
Page 13
Panel 1 - But in the storage closet, the objects are subject to something else already there: the grand Dark Fountain. The pen, ink and papers all fall into the darkness of the fountain–
Panel 2 - And start to change, the pen seemingly turning into liquid itself–
Panel 3 - As the pen falls deeper and deeper into the dark, the liquid begins to reshape into something new, something resembling a person–
Panel 4 - Until it lands on empty ground, now a person in knight’s armor, knelt over and holding his head in his hands.
Panel 5 - The Knight comes to, and starts to become more aware. He’s dressed in armor resembling the dark metallic sheen of the fountain pen, his mask resembling the pen tip. A bright deep red cape flows from his shoulders, and a single red-orange feather tops the helmet. “Where…am I?”
Panel 6 - The Knight again touches his helmet with both hands, as if not sure exactly what he is.
Panel 7 - Interior shot of the helmet, which reveals a figure much like Gerson…but much younger, more idealized-looking, with colors not matching his actual self. A Dark World interpretation. “WHY am I…?”
Panel 8 - A closeup of the Knight’s hand, slightly trembling.
Panel 9 - The Knight stares down at his own hands as realization begins to flood him, or at least something that looks like realization. “Wait. I see why. I KNOW.” he says.
Page 14
Panel 1 - The Knight holds up his hand, and a sword appears in it in a flash of lights. The sword resembles the tip of a fountain pen, almost split neatly in two. “I serve the Lightners! That is my purpose!” Says the Knight.
Panel 2 - The Knight draws the sword back with great fervor and determination. His thoughts echo around him in strong letters: “A purpose so bright, so clear…”
Panel 3 - In the final panel, the Knight drives the sword into the ground, causing an eruption of black ink-like material to spew from the ground…the creation of a new Dark Fountain. In the fountain itself, words reflect his purpose: “I EXIST TO GIVE THEM STORIES FOREVER.”
#lynx art#deltarune#deltarune fancomic#gerson boom#father alvin#the knight#and a host of other very short cameos#cw: parental death#cw: character death#HOLY CRAP I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS DONE#this one took so dang long to do#I may have uh. Gone overboard on the colors there honestly#but yeah I've had this rattling around in my head in terms of Knight theories forever#and FINALLY got the actual Scene for it in my head enough to express that in art
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This all the damn time!
#autism#living with autism#actually autistic#autistic adult#adhd#adhd brain#audhd#adhd adult#short term memory#long term memory
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i feel like the fight/flight/freeze model of fear responses applies in the long term as well as the immediate. like in the aftermath of the event, do you lash out at every perceived instance of a threat? or do you practice avoidance, refusing to tread similar paths to the one that led you into danger before? or do you remain forever trapped in that moment, reliving it, unable to move on?
#🐉#and it doesnt necessarily follow that a short term response will correspond to a longer term one#you can be a short term flyer but long term fighter. for example.
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Recognition
#I worked on this for too long and now I can't really be satisfied with it but I can accept the fact that it is 3am and I should sleep#Okay time to ramble about monsterhaul. So obviously its something of an atypical form which means it isn't included in fan content too much#but when it is usually Nemoto's (for lack of a more eloquent term) fusion gets the spotlight which is fair and cool I love it too#However there is definitely something to be explored in the fact that Rikiya represents the violation of abstinence from err. contact#Which makes him interesting to be mushed together with the very literally and symbolically touch-averse character that is Chisaki.#And when placed before Kurono there's appeal in putting two characters normally so laden with inhibitions into a#situation where those are somewhat repealed by existing inherent filth and the dispositions of a third party.#Good concept. Anyways there's also the secondary factor I got caught up thinking about in this piece pertaining to#the escalation of Chisaki's severity in action and Hari's continued support in spite of the other's ever-decreasing resemblance to#the kid he met years ago as Chisaki abandons internal and external standards#In short I'm unwell#Going to ignore this for a while now so I don't scold myself for the anatomy#chronohaul#kurono hari#hari kurono#kai chisaki#chisaki kai#orb draws#mha#bnha#my hero academia
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ADHD & Forgetfulness
Future ADHD
#ADHD#ADHD post#ADHD & memory#long term memory#short term memory#working memory#forgetfulness#I tend to forget things all the time#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#Future ADHD (Facebook)
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i’m actually grateful for apple tv+ who seems to be able to believe in their tv shows despite ‘low’ ratings.
based on wikipedia, they have 76 ongoing shows (drama + comedy):
- 27 of them were ended but 13 of them had at least 2 seasons which brings us to a 18% cancellation rate after their first season
- 18 of them (23%) were miniseries so their end is justified
- 21 of them are renewed but if if you add the 13 series that had at least 2 seasons, this brings us to a total of 35 shows that were renewed which is a 46% ratio renewal rate
apple tv+ renews half of their shows and i think we should be thankful for them in a time where netflix and amazon cancels 90% of their shows
#like any other streaming service would have cancellled foundation by now#but we’re getting a 3rd season#swagger ended after 2 seasons but we still get a second season! you bet your ass we would never had it on netflix#the quality of these shows are also a factor in this that's for sure#but still. i think whoever is running apple tv+ has the right idea in investing on the long term vs. short term#and we all should be starting to pay more attention to their shows!#apple tv+#apple tv#this whole text post started casually but then i had to back it up with real numbers lol#but yeah anyway. watch severance! watch mythic quest! watch foundation! watch silo!#damn i also just saw that they renewed platonic
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people are rightfully worried about AI and its influence on media and artists today but what really has me shook in the back of my brain is that 15-20 years from now we're gonna see tip-of-my-tongue discussion threads from covid gen adults who swear they remember an episode of spongebob where the characters stood around talking about the cybertruck's new jellyfishing compartment all while being bombarded with random cuts of mr krabs screaming and subliminal messages about the world ending in 2036
#it's already hard enough to track down lost media with false memories and mandela effects#imagine what it'll be like when the false memories were rooted in fake content ripped from real things#we're in the short term consequence phase rn where we're seeing the impact on jobs and creative fields#give it a decade and we'll be seeing the long term effects on culture and generational experiences
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The sillies!! Might gonna change Demon Laios' design later and I still need a name for whatever this AU is
#dungeon meshi#delicous in dungeon#dungeon meshi AU#au#winged lion#art#fanart#doodles#digital art#what do I call this#Some people thought that it was manipulating Laios in the comic but no it legit wanted to be human#ive got a short comic in mind to explain out its reasoning why#But it sorta doesnt care what happens to Laios in the meantime so ermm#As you can see Demon Laios is in fact getting confused by his multiple heads#He also has trouble keeping a complicated form because his small human mind isnt built for keeping track of so much#When he was transformed into a monster by the winged lion in cannon his mind was warped too to accommodate#but he doesnt get that here....... so uhhh he might not be OK long term!!#I dont have anything particularly planned out rn#Mostly just vague ideas#dungeon meshi spoilers
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Nygmobblepot Text Meme
#Gotham#gotham text posts#tumblr text meme#oswald cobblepot#edward nygma#nygmobblepot#finally got around to making a nygmobblepot text meme#short and sweet but to the point#used it as an opportunity to improve/redo prior nygmobblepot text posts so that's now off of my long term to do list#when i tell you that last text post has lived in my head rent free FOR YEARS i'm not exaggerating#probably think about it once a week and i never fail to crack up#showed it to my fiance and he let out an exasperated sigh then after a heavy pause he was like: it's not wrong but damn it#so glad i get to torment this man for the rest of our lives <3#my gifs#mine#risqué
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mb-art interactions featuring ratthi (with a surprise appearance of the electrical gloves lol)
#the murderbot diaries#tmbd#tmbd fanart#tmbd sketch#murderbot#tmbd mb#asshole research transport#perihelion#tmbd art#ratthi#tmbd ratthi#krita#honestly it's been so long since ive actually interacted with any canon tmbd stuff and i don't really remember what happened in the books#(yay short term memory go brr (not))#so like 90% of the shit i draw is just headcanons#but that sketch at the top is totally what happened after art was like “i don't want to lose you too”
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listen i just don't think that leafpool should get heaven married with a guy from a very brief fling she had as a young adult (the consequences of which ruined her entire life) that treats her poorly in most of their interactions, would not defend her when their relationship came to light, and is shown to be a shitty husband and neglectful father in his relationship afterwards. but idk this is still going to happen when crowfeather dies anyways and the only potential conflict in this happening whatsoever is going to be feathertail being offhandedly mentioned to be petty and jealous about it or something. because warrior cats can't let a woman win and especially cannot let leafpool win
#the more time goes on the more i CANNOT get the leafcrow appeal in any way but a doomed one#even if they werent as bad for each other as i think theyd be why would she want to dedicate her afterlife to this guy#i remember when the 'will graystripe pick silverstream or millie in starclan' debates were going on people were (fairly) like#'ummm why would he choose the girl he high school dated for a couple months over his long term wife'#and i get that. even though silverstream is based and millie is cringe i do get that#but why doesnt the same logic ever apply to leafpool and crowfeather LOL#not saying crowfeather should be with feathertail or nightcloud either though obviously LOL#Listen. the only reason why crowfeather remains attractive to leafpool after their fling is because she hasn't known him enough#to get over that initial idealisation and fantasy that drew her to him in the first place#she wanted out of the clans and then it got cut short but she STILL wants out of the clans but now it's MORE unrealistic#she is projecting that desire onto him like crazy and that is the only reasoning i can think of for why she can even stand that guy
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RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.
I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.
With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.
I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.
A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.
I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.
But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.
Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.
#i think the idea that Curly did nothing is both true and also not for he did something but it was nothing in the bigger picture for Anya#he put himself between her and Jimmy but that just prolongs the ineviabiliy of their interactions when he cant hence the seen where she tol#Jimmy. He thought he was helping by being honest but it just made Jimmy panic harder and flip on him because Jimmy doesnt plan like Curly o#anyone else does for that matter hes so short term. Curly also is in a way but its also hes concerned with the long term to far away#either way he did nothing for Anya directly which is the problem as hes not direct in social situations while Jimmy is overly direct to put#it lightly. I think the irony is more so in the fact that he understand the dead pixel now and can't choose not to see it. rather than any#thing with Jimmy choosing to do this. It's like the point is he has to kinda be the person he was to Jimmy but to deserving people and#realizing how bad their dyanmic was and not to fall into the same placating behaviors and maybe prioritize his choices because in a way Jim#already took away his choice by doing literally anything he did in the story because the only choice would have been to punish Jimmy atp bu#hoped he could find a better option backfired then and it still backfired now#ask#enigminho#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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Okay but the confirmation that the Granddaughter is supposed to have reached a state of tranquility and detachment but hasn't, and is instead aggressively and desperately shoving down all of their emotions without being able to excise them has sent them to the top of my faves list immediately.
I'm also really looking forward to seeing if the Fold wizard on deck survives whatever just happened, because I would love to find out if all Granddaughters have actually excised their emotions, or if in reality, they're supposed to be practicing tranquility but don't actually have a grasp on that until later, after their Realization. I would not be surprised to learn, especially after Artifice's whisper last episode, that this is something of an initiatory secret that isn't meant to be fully understood until later, once Realization has been had.
#as a long time spock fan. character type of all time.#yes please give me the anxiety and self doubt and feelings of failure beneath the utterly calm and controlled exterior YESSSS#honestly i think a lot of people dont take kindly to that kind of initiation cuz it can cause negative internal issues but#ngl i do like it. i do think knowledge exists that simply must be experienced to know#that cannot be conveyed before someone is ready for it and must be obscured in some way#even if it is harder to deal with in the short term#LIS student has opinions about forms of knowledge? shocker#unend spoilers#midst spoilers#unend#midst podcast#the granddaughter#midst meta
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the end of ck is like, if you are a protagonist whose main character arc is being haunted by your dead brother and your friend has just recently developed powers allowing her to raise people from the dead, is it really a coincidence or is it just the doomed narrative coming for you?
#kaz brekker#six of crows#hear me out: kaz's long term revenge plan against pekka being cut short by inej making sure pekka doesn't come back to ketterdam#is intentional storytelling#*bangs pots together* kaz not having the last word against pekka is symbolism for his unfinished arc with jordie!!!!#leigh left a jordie shaped plot hole in soc by purpose and oh boy is our boy going to go through it if there's ever a sequel#v:text
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