#short king advocate
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#ffxii#fran eruyt#balthier#Graceorsomething#short king advocate#final fantasy#ff12#video#my video#my stuff#music#the bunny ears overshadow him#suggestive
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there is something so poetic about a team of actual giants having to modify their corner technique to target the shortest man on the team for it to finally be successful mr Leo eye bags you will always be so so famous
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starfire/robin - short king advocate
#robstar#starfire#robin#teen titans#short king advocate#graceorsomething#theme was short kings and their partners so of COURSE i had to edit robstar
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#i haven't seen this tiktok posted on here and i felt the need to fix that#especially with all of the short kings prancing around my dash these days#short king advocate#tiktok#short king#lmaooo#tag your blorbos#the sole reason i redownloaded tiktok was so that i could download this video so. have at it
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Hell, man's still taller than my short ass. I'm 5'3"!
Sorry but not sorry, I cannot see Peppino being any taller than 5'6.
In fact, I cannot even see him being 5'6. More like 5'0-5'4.
Even if you removed all of his toonyness, no way he's taller than that.
Peppino is a short king and I love him for it.
.
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MY THOUGHTS ON DBDA SHIPS NO ONE ASKED BUT I DONT GIVE A DAMN:
Paynland: sue me but I dont think they would work as a traditional couple. They'll kiss once a week AT BEST. Nothing will change when Charles realizes his feelings, except for maybe pet names and also now Charles understand that Edwin's lap is a synomin to chair, no more desk sitting unfortunetaly.
Cryland: GIRL! I got so many thoughts on these two cant even share 'em all, but to keep it short, queerplatonic with kissing cuz they like it. Ill have to do a post just for them BECAUSE.
Palasaki: at first I thought something would happen between them (DAMN YOU PARASITES) but yeah now I prefer them as friends. Niko seems pretty uninterested in finding herself a partner, and I enjoy the besties dynamic.
Catwin: I hate it, but they should fuck at least once.
Payncrow (i guess?) : Monty, dear, you need to realize you were never even an option to begin with.
Kashi + Night Nurse: they should marry and retire to a cottage by the sea. Btw the wedding should be inside that whale.
Esther Finch + Tragic Mick: I like it cuz its funny, but overall no, but maybe yes. And you can't deny that they'd be a hella good looking couple.
That said, Jenny and Maxine are the real ones/ j
#btw by traditional couple i mean an aloromantic alosexual monogamic one#in short polygamy it is#dead boy detectives#crystal palace#niko sasaki#edwin payne#charles rowland#cat king#esther the witch#tragic mick#night nurse#kashi dbd#monty the crow#jenny the butcher#maxine the librarian#paynland#cryland#palasaki#catwin#I advocate for a V throuple between Charles Crystal and Edwin#niko will be their throuple therapist#sorry gurl🫡
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jake/rose // short king advocate
#american dragon: jake long#jakerose#american dragon#jake long#rose huntsgirl#vid#amv#song: short king advocate by graceorsomething
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heron/bradford // short king advocate
#bradheron#ducktales#vid#amv#its just an instrumental part nothing special#song: short king advocate by graceorsomething
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if ghilan'nain and elgar'nan are a couple it's gonna be so cool like i'd be so in love with their love especially if they betray each other by the end #divorce #loveloses 🫶
#also i would be forced to make a mv of that ''give me a man who is five foot six i'm a short king advocate'' song for them#I'M THE DRAGON FROM SHREK
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hii ik im like wayy overthinking this but just wanted to let u know that there was no shade meant in my tag i love ur art sm :’)
omg im so sorry, i thought your tags were really funny which is why i screenshotted them!! like ya he's looking down at em 😔😔😔
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Ok I’m gonna say it. anyone who draws Link taller than Zelda is a COWARD he is a short king first a horse girl second and just a little guy always. hope this helps ❤️
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HEY!... HEY SHORTY!
ft Jeongin
#sorry not sorry#i can't help it#i love my short men#i am a short king advocate#I like a real man looking like a lower case letter
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Remember, Remember
Alexia Putellas x Explorer!R
Sometimes being in a relationship with someone from a different culture can be hard, but so worth it.
3rd part in the Explorer! Verse. Pt 1 and Pt 2 can be found here.
Fluff. 10k.
We're officially in October and the leaves are crunchy so we're here for the Autumnal vibes. Again, this is a complete vanity piece, and may only make sense to those Brits out there but should be readable to everyone. For those who don't know what Bonfire Night is, good ol' wiki can help, here.
People wanted more of the team involved so this is my attempt at that!
I'm trying to get into my short fluff era but here we are 10k words later. Honestly, those people who can write short, snappy pieces, take a bow.
3rd part in the Explorer! Verse. Pt 1 and Pt 2 can be found here. Again, all can be read alone but are better together.
For those interested, this is the song playing in my head when I wrote this. Did I mention my dreadful taste in music? James Blunt is king.
You threw another log on the fire and with a sigh, moved back and settled more deeply into the rattan furniture you were sitting on. You lay your head back and take in the stars scattered on a blanket of darkness above you, smoke plume rising gently and disappearing into the inky abyss.
With the crackle of the fire being the only soundtrack to your evening, you noted the changing of the season in the crunching of the leaves on the patio, and the lack of cicadas chirping which had become the soundtrack to your new life in Barna.
It had been a few months since your accident.
You called it an accident.
Alexia called it an inevitability.
She hadn’t quite shook off her anger whenever reminded of what happened. She would turn quiet and mutter in fast-catalan to herself, something you learnt she would only do if she was really annoyed and didn’t want you to understand her; “neu estúpida, que fins i tot necessita veure tanta neu de totes maneres”.
But you had learnt the best thing to do in these situations would be to bundle her into your chest and give her your previously injured hand which she seemed to find comfort in massaging, as though reminding herself that there was blood running through the veins.
You’d apologise, and you’d thank her over and over again.
You knew she was never angry, she was scared.
But, you’d both worked through her fear and your trauma, you’d mended physically and mentally. Both going to therapy, surprisingly, after Alexia has insisted on it.
The usually stern captain was a massive advocate of the counseling, finding it helped her during her injuries and time away from the pitch.
You needed more convincing, talking to strangers about feelings did not come naturally to your keep calm and carry on attitude.
You were much more inclined to put on Paddington 2, lay on Alexia's lap whilst she played with your hair and pretended that she didn't know you were crying.
But after one-too-many nights waking up with a start after feeling trapped by your blankets, or on one bad occasion, shoving your girlfriend out of bed when her arm slung across your stomach had felt like a vice suffocating you, you had agreed.
For her.
You’d do anything for her.
You knew Alexia was relieved, with the shadows disappearing from your eyes. She told you that you had your spark back.
You think she was just happy she didn’t have to keep being the small spoon.
She did miss Paddington 2 though. She loved that damn bear.
You both found your rhythm. And you settled into domesticity that you never expected to adore so much until you met the blonde and you know… almost died.
Alexia looked at you every day like she couldn’t believe you were standing in her kitchen, or settled onto her couch when she returned from training.
It melted your heart every time that look was directed your way, and it tugged on your heart strings when you imagined her coming home to an empty house when you were on an expedition, worried about if you were dead or alive.
You swore to yourself that you would never let that image become a reality again.
But.
You had itchy feet. Naturally. You hadn’t changed that fundamentally as a person, and you knew a jobless, housewife in a high-rise city centre apartment you were not.
So, one day, you had sat Alexia down and held her hands in yours, and told her you needed a job.
“You do not need a job mi amor! I look after us, and you stay safe, I like it. me gusta cuidarte.” she’d proudly exclaimed, practically puffing her chest out like a caveman. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her.
“Of course I need a job, love. I am not making a life of walking around Barna, watching football games and being a beach bum.”
“I like your beach bum.” she’d retorted, childishly whilst you swatted her wandering hands.
“I know you do bebe…” you’d straddled her lap then and looped your hands around her neck, playing with her baby hairs at the nape of her neck.
You knew she loved that.
That was confirmed as her eyes fluttered closed at your ministrations. “But I want to build a life here and I know what I want to do…”
“Yes Mi Amor, anything you like, I will help you. I have contacts. I will support you in what you chose.” she’d giddily replied, seemingly doing a 180 on your career decisions once she realised it was a part of you cementing a life in Spain.
“Well you know, I’m kinda really good at what I do…” you saw her face drop slightly, though she quickly recovered, “well… what I did… you know. And I still love it, that will never change even after… everything…” you felt her squeeze your waist tighter at that. “but my skills outdoors, survival, foraging, working knots…”
Well.
She couldn’t deny that. - you had accidentally become barca’s unofficial shoelace captain after you’d tied Mapis boots once for her when she’d dislocated her thumb, and they had to be cut off. Suddenly you had a whole teamload of girls queuing up for your services, headed by your girlfriend.
She was the only one who got a kiss on the knee as you finished up though.
Alexia immediately declared it a pre-match requirement.
“Si?” she asked, somewhat desperately.
“So I am thinking. I would like to join the British Army.”
A breath of silence, a beat, maybe not even more than 3 seconds until…
“Si crees que voy a aceptar que te unas al puto ejército, estás literalmente loco!, No, No, Absolutely not.” she was up now, you tossed aside as she started pacing… whilst you were on the couch…
Laughing your arse off.
“Que. What is so funny tu idiota?” she took a pause in her pacing, her stern face directed directly at you, hands raised in despair.
“I’m only joking Ale!” you giggled to yourself, wiping tears from your eyes. “Come get back here you big oaf.” you dragged her back into your embrace.
“You are not funny.” You could have camped on that bottom lip as she pouted.
“I am a little funny.” you'd bantered, showing a measurement of how funny you thought you were with your forefinger and thumb, which she pushed together with a huff.
But you noticed that she didn't let go of your hand.
Softie.
“Ok not funny my love I’m sorry. No, never the army. I do not want danger. Or travel for months at a time. That part of my life is over.”
“sí, lo es” she’d mumbled.
“But, I do still have the contact urge to be outdoors. To share what I know. To show people the world.” you spoke with so much passion that she couldn’t help but nod. It was that same spark that she fell in love with.
“So, I have spoken to Mario…”
A smile appeared on her face. God. She loved that guy. He was a lovable rogue and she loved when he and his tribe of kids would join you at games. Sometimes she’d secretly watch you from the tunnel play with them whilst you all waited for the game to start. It made her heart flutter as they clambered all over you.
“... and he’s up for it too. If we go into business together. Guided tours and expeditions. Like how we met. But permanently. It would be based here, in Spain, and obviously I would be travelling but no more than a week or two at a time, and it would all be very low level and safe. Nothing big…. But if it makes you un…”
You were abruptly stopped in your rambling by her lips on yours.
“You don’t have to ask my permission mi amor. But I support you. It sounds fantastic. Perfecta para ti.”
You knew she’d support you but you still felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
“... but not. Like… exactly like the trip we met on. No? No falling in love with other women, si?”
You’d burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of your girlfriend at that. “No, my love, never.” you’d muttered into her lips.
As you sit now, in your tree-lined garden on the southern edge of the Montseratt national park, only a short commute from estadi johan cryuff, you couldn’t really imagine a more perfect life.
You’d moved away from the city not long after you’d built your business. Turns out alot of people want a tour that a record-breaking explorer was running, and that's how Christopher Colum-Tours became a massive success.
You were booked for years in advance.
Mostly because you made sure you took so few, but well paying jobs. You thought the name was hilarious, when Alexia didn’t you were sure it was lost in translation.
She assured you it was not.
You’d mentioned it in passing to her that you needed more space to store all of your kit, but you didn’t expect her eyes to light up and to wake up the next day with 20 different house viewings booked.
She was literally buzzing with excitement, dragging you around Spanish villas on the edges of Barcelona, pointing out coving and brickwork. You'd never been fancy, you didn't care.
Until you walked into the last house on the list. And you knew you would build your life there.
It was on the southern edge of the national park, more modest than the others you had seen but views from the master balcony were endless and beautiful. It was surrounded by forest and its garden wasn’t as sculpted as you’d gotten used to in these multi million villas.
It was a wild garden with a natural-styled pool and a built-in fire pit.
It blended into the landscape it was built within.
Alexia has found you on the balcony, giddy about beams and authentic features, and all it had taken was one look in her eyes before she was squealing with glee “It's this one isn’t it amor!”.
Alexia had tried to pay outright cash. But you had refused. You both went on the mortgage and you loved that, that piece of paper connected you.
When you tried to explain that to her she’d lovingly rolled her eyes, “only you would see the good side to tens of hundreds of euros worth of debt and interest, Mi Amor.”
But you knew that meant she agreed. And she loved you.
So no, you couldn’t really understand the melancholy that was settling over you at the moment.
You’d just returned from a trip to England for your brother's birthday. Even though you now lived in Spain you’d been able to go to more family events than ever before, with your lack of travelling the world.
You made the journey across every few weeks, usually when Alexia was away with a game or the national team. And you’d loved being more dependable to your family, with your nieces and nephews, being a part of their growing up.
Maybe that's why you are a bit sad now. It's November 3rd. The Spanish air was crisp but you couldn’t see your breath in the air like you could in England. The smell was all forest and fresh air. The days are still bright. There wasn’t a lingering fog in the evenings, or the smell of burning sulphur with the symphony of rogue fireworks being set off until the early hours.
Because this week was your favourite week growing up.
Mischief week, the firemen who visited your school had called it.
The week between Halloween and Bonfire night when kids lost their minds, hyped up on sweets and adrenaline. Bonfire displays all around your village and fireworks bursting the sky into life. You’d go to the cricket club display every year, warmed by the bonfire and cider. You’d eat toffee apples and hotpot. You’d spend the rest of the week sitting in your living room with the lights off watching the sky light up.
Usually you didn’t even notice what you were missing out on. But you had a home now. And you felt a little sad to be missing out on the festivities that your family group chat was organising.
But Alexia had just returned from National Camp. And she was always a bit down when she returned. Even if she pretended not to be. So you wouldn’t have delayed your return to Spain for all of the world.
You’d picked her up from the airport in your battered truck that she pretended she hated, spent a cosy evening together sharing food and soft kisses.
She’d gone to wash the plane off her whilst you wandered to your favourite part of the house and built a fire.
You tried to not drown in your own melancholy as you stared skywards. You heard the sliding of the patio door and you didn’t need to open your eyes to imagine your girlfriend making her way out to you. Cup of tea in one hand and ginger tea in the other. Scuttling barefoot with a blanket draped over her head adorably, muttering about you insisting on being outside.
And when you felt a warm mug pressed into your hands you knew your image had been correct, you couldn’t hide your shy smile as you felt a kiss being dropped to your neck as she settled on the other side of the garden furniture, legs draped into your lap. You enjoyed the warmth of her legs as you continued to look skyward.
You didn’t realise how much time had passed until you felt Alexia sit up next to you and stroke your hair behind your ear.
“¿Qué pasa mi amor?” she’d whispered into the silence of the evening. You turned your head towards her, “Nothing, love, sorry I was just in my own world for a second there.” you smiled at her, reassuringly.
“en tu propio mundo…” she muttered to herself, struggling for a moment with the translation. “Ah, well. I thought so, usually I don't need to even think it before you’re massaging my knee, I was practically kicking you there carino and nothing.” she’d laughed lightly, as you flicked her playfully on the nose, whilst still moving your spare hand under the blanket and digging into the flesh of her calf, glad she’d asked for what she wanted.
“Let me in ti mundo, mi amor. What's on your mind.” she asked, lovingly, whilst laying back down, suppressing a groan as your hands manipulated the tissue around her knee cap, digging into the tightness that you found there with practised ease.
“Nada, soy buena.” you’d replied, purposefully timing your reply with a particularly satisfying knead just under her kneecap, making the beautiful blonde groan loudly, “Shhh, Ale. You don’t want to give the neighbours a show.”
She lightly kicked out at you at your teasing comment, rolling her eyes, “We don’t have any neighbours idiota, unless you count that molesta goat that you insist on feeding when he turns up in the garden.”
“His name is Billy and he’s my friend. You keep Billy out of this.” you allow a beat of silence, “And he’s not a goat he’s a mountain goat, he’s manly, don’t upset him…” you raise your voice “Billy if you’re listening ignore her she’s being mean!... Hey! Ale stop kicking me! I am not a ball.”
“You're trying to distract me.” she says, plainly. “What are you thinking?”, the way her eyes look at you with so much love stops any lie that was on the tip of your tongue.
“It’s silly…” another huff from the side of you, “I’m just missing home a little but thats all.” you admit, and her face drops. “No, not home, sorry, England. Home is here with you. Obviously.” you panic, you don’t want to upset her, Alexia is home.
You don’t know what's come over you but you can’t stop speaking,
“It’s just this time of year, it's my favourite time of year that's all. I never missed it when I was away, I didn’t have time to. But now I feel so at home here. With you. That it just feels a bit weird to not be doing what I did growing up and if we had kid…” you stop yourself, eyes widening.
Her smile is breathtaking. Her eyes light up and it's all teeth. But she gives you an out.
“And what would you usually be doing at this time of year, mi amor?” she asks,
“You know… Remember, Remember, the 5th of November…” you trail off, speaking in that rhythmic way British school kids are taught. Her blank expression makes you continue “...gunpowder, treason and plot. No? Really? I’m sure I was taught he was Spanish.”
“Amor, you are speaking in riddles. Help me here.” she asks, with a laugh teasing her lips.
“It's Bonfire Night, Guy Fawkes Night, Fireworks Night… whatever you call it.”
“I think Amor, we call it a Thursday Night.”
“Oh. Yeah, no of course. Sorry.”
“Why are you apologising to me? Tell me about it. Tell me what you’d be doing.” she asks, so genuinely that it cracks your heart wide open.
So you do, you tell her.
You tell her all about what you were taught in school. About Guido and his gang of conspirators, about parliament, about gunpowder and about the plan to blow up the King. You tell her about hanging, drawing and quartering, laughing at her squeamishness. You feel yourself getting giddy as you wrack the corners of your brain trying to remember all of the story you were brought up on.
You tell her about penny for a guy, about kids sitting outside shops with their effigies for pennies, you tell her about your dad setting off fireworks in your street, almost blowing himself up, and then your mum insisting you go only to the official bonfire at the cricket club from that year onwards and watch the effigy being burnt on the enormous fire.
Alexia listened with rapt attention, and as you stopped for breath she spoke; “esperar, esperar, so let me get this correcta. Some guy 500 years ago tried to blow up cortes generales, so they graphically and publicly murdered him… and you celebrate that, as a country every year, by… kids begging and burning him on a fire you all go stand around?... In November?”
“Si.” you reply, with a smile and a nod, eyes moving back skywards.
“Estás todo loco” she laughs.
And you suppose it is. A bit mad, when you think about it really. But you were feeling a bit sensitive and a bit… mocked?
You felt like how you feel when someone would name-call your brother on the playground. You can do that. He’s your brother. But someone else can’t. Because that's your brother.
Alexia can’t mock your traditions. They’re yours. God knows you’d bit your lip throughout all of hers. I mean. If you could get through the explanation of a literal model of a pooping Alexia on your Nativity last year you felt like maybe she would get this. You even graciously accepted your own Canager from Eli with a smile.
You took a moment, a deep breath, you knew you were being sensitive, out of character.
You knew usually you’d join in with her laughter, maybe tickle her and have a fake argument about it just as an excuse to make up. But you weren’t really feeling it today.
“Well, let’s agree to disagree, yeah?” you turned and smiled, you moved her trouser leg back down under the blanket, gave her knee a pat and moved her legs off you to stand. Whilst she looked up at you in bewilderment, with wide, curious eyes.
“I’m gonna get to bed love, I’m really tired all of a sudden, going to get my head down before I wake myself up again, you okay sorting the fire and locking up?”
She nodded, lost for words for a moment, practically having whiplash at the mood swing. You didn’t let Alexia lock up, or sort the fire. They’re your jobs. Always have been. Keeping you both safe. So she knew you were upset.
“Amo…” she started but she heard the patio door slide closed and moved to throw some sand onto the fire. She noticed your mug of tea on the arm of the sofa where you’d been sitting.
And when she saw that it was still half full she knew.
She’d fucked up.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“....and then she said, estemos de acuerdo en no estar de acuerdo, and went to bed! And Mapi. She left her tea!” Alexia explained, desperately to her best friend, the next morning at training.
“...It’s only tea Ale.” Mapi tried to reassure her, “It means nothing amiga I am sure.”
“No, you don’t understand. And she was asleep when I went to bed and it wasn't even 10 minutes later. And then this morning, she was still asleep. She’s never still asleep. You know her Maps, she's up with the sun and…” the midfielder lowered her voice further,
“she always makes me a coffee with the cute foam heart and she didn’t but maybe she’s just tired, I thought, but then I looked and I saw she must have been up that morning because there was food out in the garden for that stupid goat… so was she pretending to be asleep to not speak with me?”
Alexia's voice got more and more panicked as she rambled on.
Mapis' heart melted for her friend, the panic in her face reminded her of the Ale who used to pace the changing rooms with her phone cemented to her hand waiting for word from you. Of the Alexia who missed games because she made herself sick with worry that you were dead somewhere. She hadn’t seen this Ale for a while. She needed to help.
“Keira! Come here!” Mapi shouted over to the red haired midfielder.
“Mapi! Shh. Don’t! What are you doing!” Alexia hissed,
“I think this is a British problem, Ale, we need an expert.”
“Well, why shout across the room? Lucy is standing right there.” Alexia pointed to the defender who was currently pretending her shin pads were lightsabers.
“Lucy thinks she’s Spanish.”
Alexia hummed.
Fair point.
“What's up guys? Skip? Why do you have that face on?”
“Say the thing Capi. You know… the spell thing.” Mapi painfully nudged her captain in the ribs… “Que?... Oh…. Remember Remember the 5th of November....”
“Gunpowder, treason and plot, I see no reason, why gunpowder treason, should ever be forgot. Yeah? Why are we doing nursery rhymes” Keria recited, without a pause. Looking at them both, curiously.
“See it is a thing!” Alexia exclaimed, hitting Mapi over the head, “tell her what happened Capi.” Mapi asked, as Keira settled between the two.
As her story came to a close Alexia began to finish up… “and then she said we should ‘agree to disagree’” at this Keria winced but gestured for her skipper to carry on “...and then she went to bed but didn’t finish her tea.” Keira audibly groaned at that, moving to grab the taller girl's shoulder.
“Sorry Skip, In British ‘agree to disagree’ means, ‘I’m really upset but I don’t want to talk about it’ and well… I think it's a crime to leave a cup of tea. She must have really wanted to get out of there.”
“But why! I don’t know what I did!” the blonde groans into her hands.
“We’ll figure it out, amiga” Mapi reassured her, rubbing her back sympathetically.
“Erm…” Keria looked up, unsure.
“What?” Alexia's head shot up, looking at her teammate.
“I don’t want to talk out of turn Skip.. but…”
“No, go on, help me, please. What did I do?” Alexia asks, desperately.
“You can be... Well... You can all be… a bit. Catalan?”
“Que?!” the captain exclaimed, “What does that mean? I am Catalan!”
“No, No I know. And it's not a bad thing. But. You know, there's a lot. A lot to remember, Saint Jordi, all the pan con tomate…the loud dinners, the touching, the human towers… the fire-devil thing. And it's great! I love it! I respect it, And I know she does too but…”
“But…?” Mapi and Alexia ask together, looking everything like school children at a lesson, pencils poised.
“But. And I am just guessing here…”
“Speak Keira or I will make you run laps.” the captain threatens.
“Maybe, you could… you know… try a bit… and I mean… a little bit. With some English things?” she finishes her sentence as a question, nervous to criticise her well-respected captain in any way.
“What do you mean! I do! I respect her! And all her things!”
“I know it's not on purpose Ale. But how would you feel if she said Sainte Jordi was silly.”
“It’s not silly! It's special, Mi Papi used to get me and Alba a rose every year and I still remember it now. I love doing it every year. It makes me feel… oh.”
“Yeah. And you know, me and Lucy come round for Sunday roast every month and you always go out.” she’d started now so she supposed, in-for a penny in for a pound, “and when she put an orange in your stocking at Christmas you laughed and told her it was a bad football and kicked it at her.”
Alexia looks at her teammate, cluelessly, whilst Mapi sniggers behind her hand,
“Alexia, It’s an English thing. Oranges don’t grow in England. They used to be a luxury so people would give them at Christmas to people they love. Like a sign of sharing?...and on pancake day you told her it went against your diet plan…”
“Didn't she literally fell a tree last year to make you your own Caga Tio? She asked me where Onas was from, I said Amazon and I'm fairly sure she thought I meant the rainforest…” Lucy joined in on the salt being rubbed into the enormous wound party that Alexia didn't even know she was hosting.
“Okay, Okay, I get it.” The captain said. Raising her hand. She felt terrible. She did go out on what she’d dubbed ‘English-Night’ when Keira, Lucy and sometimes Ona would invade her kitchen and cook weird food and watch English TV shows.
But she thought you'd want to enjoy your evening in English without her. And the pancake thing… well. It did go against her diet plan.
You never said it was a tradition.
She would have made an exception.
She'd do anything for you.
You happily went along with all of her things, she had never even told you about Caga Tio, you'd found out on your own and done such an incredibly sweet thing that Alexia had cried and slept with it next to her side of the bed for a week.
Not that she'd tell her teammates that.
She hadn’t realised you’d been trying to share your traditions with her and she’d been closing it down.
“Why didn’t she say anything?” Alexia asks helplessly,
“Because she loves you, and she doesn’t care as long as you’re happy I suppose… and also… because she’s English.”
This made her roll her eyes in frustration.
She felt ignorant.
She would fix this.
“Mapi, I need your help.”
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You’d managed to shake off your little moodswing by the early afternoon.
You’d spent the morning answering a few work emails and planning a few new routes. As you set off for your run you felt noticeably brighter, calculating that if you did a bit of a longer run than usual then Alexia should be back home when you returned.
Sometimes you did that on purpose, and went on a longer run so she would be home when you got back. Like when you go to the toilet in a restaurant and you're excited when your meal is at the table when you return.
A little treat for yourself.
God you had it bad.
You really wanted to spend time with your girlfriend, you felt a little bad about your moodiness and you wanted to make it up to her.
So when you got home from your trail run to a driveway with just your truck in it you tried to keep the sadness down. Training must have gone on this afternoon, sometimes that happened.
By the time early evening rolled around, you got a bit concerned, just as you picked up your phone it vibrates in your hand.
sorry Mi Amor, training turned into watching film, I will eat with Mapi at the canteen, see you soon, love you, miss you xx
You let out a little huff of annoyance to yourself. It's not Alexia's fault that you wasted your time together yesterday being moody. It's not her fault she's stuck at work.
At least her version of being stuck at work isn't being trapped under a mountain of snow and slowly dying.
Your little internal monologue of darkness makes you chuckle to yourself but your attention is grabbed by a knock on the front door.
“Hola Chica!!!”
You suddenly have a facefull of hair and are pulled into the bosom of a very loud and excitable Alba Putellas.
“Hi Alba! What are you doing here?” you ask, trying to not be rude but also wondering what has dragged the famously city-slicking younger Putellas out into the sticks.
“Que? Can a girl not come and spend the evening with their future cuñada? What's with the million questions hermana!” she blusters past you and into the entryway, leaving you standing with your mouth hanging open at the door as she settles into your sofa.
“... I asked one question” you mumbled to no one as you closed the door with the tornado now inside your home.
You explained that Ale was stuck at work, but Alba dismissed your apologies with a flick of her hand. “I'm not here for her, I’ve spent too much time with her, I think we should spend the evening together. Hermana to future Hermana.”
“Erm… sure.” You got on well with Alba. You got on well with all of Ales' family. They;d welcomed you as one of their own immediately. Eli had taken a vested interest in “getting you back up to strength” after your accident. That mainly consisted of not letting you leave the dinner table until eating 3 full plates of paella.
Usually though, Alba could be found in the bars of Barna, not in your living room, and you had a feeling that she knew Alexia was stuck at work. Which meant that Ale had sent her to spend the evening with you. And you hadn’t gotten away with your melancholy without her notice yesterday like you hoped you had.
Still, the thought of her sending her sister to keep you company warmed your heart.
Hours later your stomach hurt from laughing so much, and you felt ill with the amount of food you’d consumed. You and Alba had spent the evening watching telenovelas and cackling at the erratic storylines. Alba would insist every character was gay and you would nearly wet yourself with laughter when in 4 episodes she was proven right.
It's late when you hear the door slam in the hallway, you glance up at the clock and see its later than you even imagined.
“Hola cariño!” Alexia yells from the hall, and you can hear her shoes being kicked off and bag being shoved into the hall cupboard.
“Hola, my love!” Alba mocks back, voice high pitched and sounding resolutely nothing like yours.
You shove her by her shoulder as you rise to greet your girlfriend.
“Hola, my love.” you repeat as you greet her, settling into her open arms and nuzzling into her neck dropping a kiss against her warm skin you find there.
You take a deep breath of the taller woman. “Ale… why do you smell like… onions?” you ask, curiously.
“Vale, vale, I am going to bed before the show starts.” Alba interrupts as Alexia separates herself from you in order to reach across and slap her sister's head.
“Oh, Si? Si Alba, of course you can stay over. Thank you for asking.” she shouts sarcastically at her sisters retreating from. Grumbling to herself as she turns back to her.
“Oh behave you big grump you love it when she stays over.” you whisper, falling into her arms again, settling into her warmth. “Long day?”
You feel the tension leave her body now she's home. “Si… we got lots done though,”
“Good. Feel ready for the weekend then?” you ask, she had a game on Saturday and you know she preferred to be over prepared.
“The weekend?”
“Si, the game? Seville?” you ask, with a laugh to your voice. She must be tired.
“Oh, si, sorry, of course. I am tired mi amor. Yes. I feel ready.” she replies, moving to face you more closely, large hand cupping your cheek and dropping a quick kiss to your lips.
She moves away but you aren’t finished. You've had a long day of missing your girlfriend. And you pull her closer and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to hers and groaning when she accepts your tongue in her mouth. As you break apart for breath you hear her mutter a little ‘wow’, which melts your heart.
Seriously, only your world famous, drop dead gorgeous, professional footballing girlfriend can get so worked up over some heavy petting.
It's her turn to pull your lips back together and you enjoy swapping sweet kisses before you pull apart… “Al…” she's moved down to your neck… “Ale… why do you taste like… pepper?”
“Huh?” you can’t see her face as she continues to press kisses down your neck. “Don’t know what you’re talking about amor.” she seems to have decided she's finished with your neck for now as she takes a step back.
“I better go wash the day off me. Meet you in bed?” she asks, and who are you to refuse as you nod your agreement and start to tidy the living room as she leaves for upstairs.
“Hey?” you look up and she's popped her head back into the living room, “I missed you today.” she says, simply. Cheeky smile on her face.
Alexia was the most intelligent and complex woman you knew. But sometimes her ability to be so simple was the thing that made you fall so deeply in love with her. She missed you, so she told you.
“I missed you too, love.” you reply, softly.
She smiles satisfied, and moves from the doorway again. For 3 seconds until she reappears.
“Don’t go to sleep til I’m there por favor, I want to fall asleep together.” you feel your blush start to creep up your neck and open your mouth to reply before,
“Ay dios mio, perdedora! It's a shower, you aren’t going to drown. How do either of you get anything done!” Alba shouts from the top of the stairs, and your girlfriend's head quickly disappears again, before you hear a scream and the thunder of her scaling the stairs…
“vuelve aquí diablo!”
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You drummed your fingers on the steering wheel as you waited for your girlfriend outside of the training buildings. It wasn’t usual but she’d asked you to pick her up that morning.
As you’d passed her her morning coffee (foam art included), she’d taken a moment longer than usual giving you a soft morning kiss and breathing you in before she asked you to keep the afternoon free.
“I want to take you on a date, Mi Amor.” she’d mumbled, cutely, “Alba will take me back into the city, then you can pick me up after your session at the school, dress warm.”
“I haven’t said yes yet!” you’d teased, with a roll of your eyes, “and hey, what they say is true, el romance esta muerto! I am picking you up for a date you asked me on! Tut. Ale. You used to be suave.”
“soy muy suave.” she’d confidently replied. “You’ll see on our date… that you’re picking me up for”.
A cheeky smile and a pat on the bum later she’d chased Alba out of the house, and suddenly you felt like you were watching the vision that Eli had grown old too.
Two bickering Putellas sisters acting like teenagers on their way to the school bus, hitting each other and Alba chasing Alexia down the drive after one kick too many.
So, you’d done as you were told and after your talk with 28 school kids about basic survival skills here you find yourself patiently waiting for your girlfriend.
The door to the training facility opened and you were surprised to see Alexia emerge bundled up in far too many layers and knit hat cutely adorned on her head. She really was adverse to the cold. Usually she’d be the last to leave training, insisting on a team talk or taking extra free kicks, but she searched the car park eagerly and eyes lit up as she took you in in your beat up old blue pickup truck.
The next surprise she gave you was when she didn’t hurry to the passenger seat, instead making her way to your window and, when you didn’t move, knocking on it with a rap of her knuckles. You roll the window down with a quick of your eyebrow.
“Can I help you señora?” you ask, “Si, mover… por favour. I am driving.”
The absurdity of her comment makes you bark out a laugh, but you do as your told,
“Ale, you hate my truck.”
“I have never said that.”
“Yes you have. One million times. ‘Mi Amor, your truck brings our house price down.’...’Amor, your truck is warming the planet. I thought you liked trees.’...”Amor, your truck is so loud that I think a dinosaur is coming up the driveway…” you imitate, crudely but with a gentle laugh.
She just fixes you with a stern eye as she turns the key, a large grinding sound coming from the engine.
“In gear please Ale!”..."Ah, Si.” followed by the successful roar of the engine.
“Remember love, she doesn't have any heated seats, we listen to my Beatles CD cause its stuck in the player, and the gearbox is a little worn so please… be gentle”
“Weird, usually you aren’t asking me to be gentle.” she dryly replies, eyebrow arched and make you blush. She moves her hand to your thigh and you take it in both of yours as she asks about the school you spoke in, she listens with rapt attention and you bask in the way her eyes light up when she tells you about how Jana finally mastered a trick she’d been working on.
You’d gotten so lost in conversation and checking out your hot girlfriend that you’d forgotten to check your destination until you felt the truck come to a halt.
As you looked around you saw you were in a small car park, a familiar style building imposing in front of you.
A stadium.
You can’t help but be a little disappointed, if Ale’s idea of date night had transformed into football games then you may as well start just going to training with her to keep your romantic life alive.
“Oh. Lovely.” you’d hoped you’d infused as much enthusiasm into your tone as you could. Just happy to spend time with the blonde. “Who’s playing?”
“Barca.” she’d replied, getting out of the car and hurrying to your door, all the while holding her hand up as she hurried past the bonnet indicating to you that she wanted to open it.
She’d taken your hand in her large one and started to walk towards the stadium, you looked around and took in a few people milling about, some with unrecognisable kit on.
You don’t know if a temporary deafness had taken over your girlfriend but she ignored you as she pulled you towards the turnstiles. It was a much smaller stadium than your girlfriend usually played at, and it was quick to get into the grounds.
“Ah, gran admirador?” the steward asked, as he pointed at your trusty blaugrana laces, and you just smile and nod, no idea what's going on.
As you looked up you were at pitch level and you saw a familiar sight of… ‘H’ shaped sticks? You almost broke your own neck at the speed at which you spun to look at your girlfriend who was staring at you with a Cheshire cat grin splitting her face.
“We’re here to watch Rugby!” she practically cheers, clearly very happy with herself.
You’d always used it as a weapon to tease your football-obsessed captain-girlfriend with, that you had been brought up on Rugby. Your brother played and you’d spend weekends down at the Rugby Club cheering on at the side lines. Your dad followed the town team religiously and you’d been dragged down to London more than once for cup finals.
As your world got bigger your love for the game diminished but the familiar smell of tiger balm and clack of metal studs always managed to make you feel 9 again down at the local rugby club.
You felt a childlike giddiness erupt from your stomach as you took in your glowing girlfriend. “Ale, this is… this is…” you feel a bit emotional as you struggle to get your words out, your girlfriend saves you.
“Vamos! Let's go find the best place to watch!” Alexia drags you into the small stands which are sparsely occupied.
“I didn’t even know Barcelona had a rugby team…” you say as you take your seat,
“Si, they do. They were promoted in 2006 but have been struggling since… they are currently 4th in the league though and today they’re playing 3rd so it…”
You interrupt your girlfriend by pressing a kiss to her lips, unable to stop your affection as you realise how much she had researched for you. “Te amo.” you mutter into her lips. You open your eyes before her and see her sit with her eyes closed for a moment, smile teasing on her lips, dazed.
“yo también te amo cariño” she replies, opening her eyes, “now come, watch. They're kicking off.”
You thoroughly enjoy yourself for the next 80 minutes. You realise that you have never watched a sports game with Alexia. Usually watching her or if she wasn’t playing she’d be sat on the bench with the team.
She’d usually be too invested and serious to have a fun time. But here, without being impacted by the outcome, nor really having any idea what was going on. Alexia was clearly having the time of her life.
She was giving off serious big dick energy, sitting in her plastic chair like she owned the stadium, legs spread wide and ankles hooked as she took in the pitch before her. Alexia wasn’t into PDA, however, here she pulled you close to her as though you were in your living room, clearly happy that she wouldn’t be bothered by anyone at a sparsely populated Rugby game.
“Amor, comer aqui. Explain this to me… “ she'd gestured to the pitch before her with one hand and pulled you closer with the other, draping both of your legs over one of hers so your legs dangled between hers, and you sat sideways facing her as she rested her arm around your shoulders.
You tried to ignore the feel of her strong thigh muscle underneath yours. Noticeable even though two sets of heavy clothing.
She started to play with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as you tried to explain a scrum, mauls and drop kicks.
But you found yourself watching her side profile more than the game, her sharp jaw, the curve of her eyebrow. How cute she looked in her little barca beanie, eyes bright with excitement.
She gives your hair a little tug, “Mira el juego bebe…” she mutters, eyes still looking forward but a grin teasing her lips, “...I paid a good €8 for these tickets.”
You laugh and concentrate on the game before you, laughing at Alexia's commentary throughout, ‘you can use your hands! How is it even that hard!’ until a big hit where she would recoil into herself and muttered ‘nevermind’.
She would cheer every time someone kicked the ball and when you got into the game and shouted “Offside ref!!” she hushed you and insisted that it wasn’t, until you explained the offside rule was different and her mind nearly exploded.
It was a close game and you found yourself sucked in.
Becoming more animated until the final play of the game, Barca had possession and you couldn’t help it when you stood up and shouted, “stick it up your jumper… go on… RUN….ooooh!”, you looked down and saw Alexia looking up at you with wide eyes, a teasing glint in them, you grew flushed and sat down tentatively, “Amor, I have never seen you so… aggressive… I like it.” she decided, smirk on her lips.
Barca ended up losing but it didn’t take away any of the shine from the day, as you left the stadium you swung your hands between your bodies with excitement, “Ale, that was the best surprise date ever. Thank you.”
You noticed that a look you didn’t recognise flashed across her face as she opened the door for you, guiding you into the passenger seat with a kiss.
“Can we go to Casa Pepe for some dinner?” you ask, looking out of the window and taking in the darkened sky, “No.” she replied, which caused you to turn, and you saw a wry grin on her face, “date isn’t over yet amor, I have plans on plans. Sit back and enjoy the ride.”
Alexia then goes onto stall the truck and take off to a stuttering start, and because she was being so sweet you didn’t say anything but looked out of the window to hide your face.
“Shut up.” she chides anyway.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You’re confused as Alexia drives your truck off road and onto a beach just outside the main area of Barcelona. You see fairy lights in front of you and a huddle of cars and people milling around.
“What's going on Ale?” you ask, trying to take in the look on her face in the darkness of the cab of your truck as she reverses into a semi-circle with some other cars.
She doesn’t have a chance to answer before you are startled by a knock on your window and Mapis' face pressed against the glass with glee.
“You’re here! You’re here! Finally… Capi, can we start it now pleaaaase….” Mapi is silenced by her girlfriend who has made her way over and pulled her from the window. “Give them a second kjære, come, I need your help over here…” and Ingrid winks at you as she leads her excitable puppy of a girlfriend away.
You remain not having any clue about what the hell is going on.
Alexia has slipped out of the truck and moved around to your side, opening the door and you spin on the bench, widen your legs, and pull her between them.
She looks at you with a wide, open expression.
“Remember, Remember, the 5th of November…” she starts, which immediately causes the penny to drop, as you look to the scene on the beach before you.
A large unlit bonfire stands a safe distance from the trunk of your car, you continue to look around and see Eli ordering around most of Alexias team mates and even some backroom staff you recognise from the training grounds, as she stands in charge of what seems to be a crudely put together buffet table. Illuminated by fairy lights you see pots of steaming food which she stirs intermittently.
You even spotted Mario with his newly pregnant (again!) wife and his tribe of kids playing with a small football alongside Jana and Marta.
You can’t help the tears that come to your eyes at the scene before you.
“I am so grateful for you Amor…” she starts, “You have fit so well into my family and life that maybe I missed some things about your family and life…”
“No Ale.”
“No it’s okay, I know you love me. But I wanted to do this for you. But then… well. It escalated. I asked Keira and Lucy for help but then they got so excited about bonfire night that they kind of invited themselves, and then one person turned into another… and then, as soon as Mapi found out there were explosives and fire I couldn’t keep her away. And well, Ingrid had to come because she has a vested interest in keeping Mapis fingers attached to her body. And well. At that point it had got so big that I just invited anyone from the club who wanted to come, and their families. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind! This is the sweetest thing in the world… Is that…” you sniff up… “hotpot?!”
Alexia soon became old news as you scurried over to Eli and the food table, kissing her in greeting and falling into her embrace, there were bubbling pots of Chilli, Hotpot, Mushy Peas and even a tray of toffee apples.
Ingrid had come over and presented a tray of parkin that she had baked, beautifully presented in the elegant way that only the Norwegian could. “I hope this is right, I googled it and Mapi taste tested it and she was happy, but honestly, she’s happy if I give her dog food so i’m not sure she's the best judge.”
“Ingrid it’s perfect.” you assured her, the grin breaking your face convincing her more than your words.
“Can we set the fire yet!” Mapi had shouted across the set up, bottle of accelerant in hand that she had been spraying onto the pile of dried wood. A somewhat maniacal look on her face.
One of the physios took the bottle from her hand gently and pushed her towards Ingrid, taking over the situation when he recognised there was a chance the whole beach was going up in flames if she was left in charge.
As the fire grew and grew, everyone's faces were bathed in the golden light. The chill was still in the air and you felt a large puffy jacket being slung around your shoulders. Alexia standing behind you, resting her chin on your head as you settled back into her.
“Ale. Is that Guy wearing a Real Madrid jersey?” you asked, amused, as you noticed that the traditional effigy had a familiar football shirt on.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, amor.” she replied, laughter in her voice. Before you had a chance to tease her further she pinched your hips, “come on, lets get some food! I’m starving, and all this brown British mushy food smells so good…”
Well. At least she was trying.
You ate and ate, you don’t think you’ve ever been as full in your life. Alexia had spent all the evening before perfecting her hotpot recipe with the help of Eli and it was good.
She’d even shown you the burn marks on her fingers where the hot toffee from the toffee apples has caught on her skin.
Eli told you how Alexia had turned up at her house with Mapi, arms full of ingredients needing help to make traditional foods, which she then stressed over for the rest of the evening, whilst Mapi paced the kitchen, talking to her ‘fireworks guy’, because of course Mapi had a man with explosives on speed dial.
You’d told the story of Guy Fawks to an intrigued Irene, Mateo happily munching on a sticky apple on her knee. “Ah, I see… It feels like a cold San Juan. I like it” she’d declared, with an air of finality.
“So… they’re like, guisantes but… pulposa?” you overheard Parti asking Keria, as the ginger was gladly wolfing down a portion of mushy peas. “Yeah! Try them… you’ll love them.”
As a second passes before you hear a distinctive gag and Kerias laughter echoing around you think maybe Patri did not love them. Ona greedily scoffed her own portion down with Lucy looking on, proudly, “Te acostumbras amiga” she jeered towards her retreating friend, who went in search of the drinks table.
The fire dimmed but still fought on and you were shepherded towards your truck by your girlfriend, the hatch had been brought down and you could see that Alexia had stored every spare pillow and blanket from your house and made a cosy nest in the bed of your trunk.
She threw herself in, happy to warm herself in the nestle of blankets, always being more susceptible to the cold. Nose red and beanie pulled low down on her head. She opened her arms invitingly and you settled between her legs, watching the scene before you.
You watched as Alba and her latest girlfriend messed around feeding each other parkin. You watched as Mapi chased Pina around with a sparkler in her hand, the younger girl screaming for her life as Mapi cackled. You watched Eli cooing over Jona’s young baby, looking so confident with the newborn only an experienced mother could. You took in how Lucy seemed to eat her 5th bowl of chilli as Ona chatted her ear off.
The scene was perfect.
Only made more so as you felt Ale move her cold hands beneath your warm clothing, grabbing you around the stomach and resting her hands there, making you hiss at the contact, “buscar mi amor” she whispered into your ear, as you looked to the sky and watched as the familiar explosion of fireworks in the sky above you.
The whoops and hollers of the kids (and Mapi) warmed your heart, as you watched the display you let the the sound of the explosions and the ‘ooh’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ of the families and friends around you seep into your bones. The smell of sulphur invaded your senses and you settled more deeply into the woman behind you.
You quickly snapped a picture to share in your family group chat, quickly joining the tens of fireworks pictures from different displays as you all shared your evening, far away yet able to be involved, thanks to your Ale.
“Tell me about Bonfire Night, Mi Amor, I promise, I do not think it is silly.”
That much was obvious, with the effort she had gone to in such a short space of time.
You told her about the big fires the village came together to build. How it made your community stronger. The fireworks and how the sky lit up all week. The school projects and crude drawings of fires you would make. The toffee apples you would get stuck in your teeth and the parkin your mum would bake.
How the stickiness would sit on your hands for days. How your dad would always throw an unexploded firework into the bonfire without thinking, making him run away from the explosions behind him as you and your brother peeled over with laughter. How the cold would pinch your cheeks and you’d check the bonfire for hedgehogs before it was lit. How you’d spend days building a guy from your dads old clothes stuffed with newspaper. How you would run around with sparklers and spend all the next day picking them up from the streets with your brother and putting them into a bucket.
“It sounds fun, Mi Amor. I am glad you grew up with so much love. I get to benefit from it now.” Alexia had muttered into your hair, and pressed a kiss to your head.
You felt those memories wash over you, and knew that this bonfire night would be right up there with them, cemented as the best times of your life.
Yes, you weren't used to the sound of the waves as you usually watched the bonfire burn, and no, you usually weren’t stood on a bed of sand. No, your usual bonfire night would not consist of Alexia telling off Jana and Patri for sneaking in croquetas behind one of the parked cars, insisting they had to eat the British food prepared.
But the smiles were the same, people coming together around the fire was the same, the children laughing and family enjoying time together was the same, couples falling further in love and cuddling together for warmth was the same, the colours and the sparkles that lit up everyone's faces. The same.
“Thank you Alexia. For all of this. The rugby, this, it’s…It's… perfect.”
“You are perfect.” she’d replied, without hesitation.
You swatted her hand that still rested on your stomach, “Soppy.” you’d admonished.
“Not sorry,” she’d quipped back. You fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the sound of the fireworks popping above you.
“Our kids will celebrate bonfire night.” she’d let out, suddenly, with certainty. Finishing the thought you’d started to express days earlier.
Before you had a chance to formulate a thought she continued, “and pancake day. And they will watch Rugby. And football. And celebrate La Mercè. They will know about Sant Jordi. And Saint George.”
“Ale…” you’d let out, wetly, tears brimming in your eyes.
“They will be a mix of both of us. And I will marry you, you know? One day. We will be married.”
There she is again, with her beautiful simplicity.
You don’t really know what to say to that, and you let the silence take hold for a moment.
Where was the woman who blushed in embarrassment when she realised you’d understood her muttered Spanish compliments? Though, you suppose, you’d both changed together. Where was the woman you used to be who would refuse to stay in a postcode for more than 2 weeks?
“ain’t no mountain high enough” you softly sang at her, trailing your fingers down her arm, lightly, it had become your song, between the two of you, when things were bad with your PTSD she would hold you close and sing quietly, in the safety of your bed, her spanish lilt would settle your heart rate and the lyrics would melt the ice in your veins.
Her arms squeeze you tighter, both lost in the safety of your blanket fortress under the stars, surrounded by friends and family but you may as well be the only people on the beach.
“I can’t wait to ask you, officially.”
God if this setup was her idea of a date, you couldn’t imagine her idea of a proposal.
“I can’t wait to say yes” you replied, playing with her ring finger that was settled on your stomach, “officially.”
You moved back and kissed the tall blonde softly, passionately, until you’re interrupted by Mapi’s aggrieved exclamation;
“Espera! The Guy was ¿Español?”
#alexia putellas x reader#woso x reader#woso community#alexia putellas#woso imagine#alexia putellas imagine
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here's a resource to consider for those interested in/involved in/new to organizing: [PDF] the CIA's Simple Sabotague Field Menu (pub. 1944)
an excerpt from the section "General Interference with Organizations and Productions"
1. Insist on doing everything through “channels.” Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions. 2. Make “speeches.” Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your "points" by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few patriotic comments. 3. When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committees as large as possible—never less than five. 4. Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible. 5. Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions. 6. Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision. 7. Demand written orders. 8. “Misunderstand” orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders. Quibble over them when you can. 9. Do everything possible to delay the delivery of orders. Even though parts of an order may be ready beforehand, don’t deliver it until it is completely ready.
+ i would encourage people to read up on instances such as how the FBI sent Martin Luther King, Jr. a letter to get him to kill himself (+ Wikipedia), as well as the FBI infiltrating and harassing the Black Panthers for years (+ scan of 1974 Ann Arbor issue). There's also COINTELPRO, the FBI's widespread efforts to target, surveil, infiltrate, discredit, and disrupt various political parties domestically (+ 50 years ago, the exposure of FBI "undemocratic abuses" against civil rights and anti-war activists). Given the systematic punishing and push back against advocating for Palestinian rights and liberation, i would also advise people to read up on McCarthyism and the Red Scare (Wikipedia, National Archives, Miller Center) + The Attacks on Academic Freedom During the McCarthy Era, to start with.
it's important to read up on and understand the history of organizing in the U.S. and how the government has targeted liberation movements (particularly led by black and brown people). it is also important to be aware of tactics that have been used to sow dissent within pro-liberation/left-leaning organizations.
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Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!
I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.
Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!
It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎
➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.
➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.
Now for some task breakdowns:
"One-Time" Tasks
➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.
Sign the petition*
Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)
Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!
"Repeat" Tasks:
➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!
Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!
Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)
Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!
Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.
Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)
Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.
Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!
Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.
NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!
WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.
Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!
Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!
- V
#As promised! Sorry it took me longer than I originally anticipated. If I msised something please let me know!#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbda netflix#the dead boy detective agency#monty finch#esther finch#the cat king#the night nurse#dead boy detectives netflix#the dead boy detectives#jenny green#dbda resources#dbda task list
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Dp x Dc AU: Tucker gets hired by the JL to work on the Watchtower’s cybersecurity... He might have a few friends visit.
Batman looked over the application for visitors presented to him by Dr. Foley, who was nervously wringing his hands but seemed excited to talk about his two close associates, and it appeared that everything was in order for the pair to be allotted a short visitation time slot.
The paperwork was established by Batman himself after all, needing a way to permit non-members (His Children) to visit him at his office in the watchtower. Looking over Dr. Foley’s application, the invites to Dr. D. Fenton and Dr. S. Manson seemed to be somewhat warranted.
Dr. Fenton is a well known astrophysicist and Dr. Foley had been upping the security to reflect more complex physics models as the ‘lock’ mechanism for access to Watchtower servers. Dr. Manson was a more controversial figure in social justice but a biochemist to rival Dr. Pamela Isley, not to mention she was someone Bruce Wayne had met a number of times and not completely hated (though he was sure she hated him and everyone else in the gala). She was a fan favorite guest by his children and a great advocate for animal and human rights.
Batman approves the application, allowing their visitation for a few hours at a time once a week until the completion of Dr. Foley’s project.
He doesn’t hear much from it, nor from Dr. Foley, but things start to come down the rumor grapevine that the two guests were more than they seemed. Red Robin was the first to comment on it to him, and as practical and efficient Tim could be, there was a look of chaos in his smile as he discussed the two additional PhDs. He was stingy on details and that always meant something bad for Bruce’s mental health. A few others asked a few questions as to who exactly the pair were visiting, and Cyborg commented that they weren’t really doing too much to assist Dr. Foley.
Batman decides to intervene and meet these two for himself when he hears Constantine complain (not that the man wasn’t always complaining about something) about the two new magic users being way too OP for normal humans.
This is how the JL gets to become allied with Ghost King Phantom and Thorn (not Poison Ivy pt.2 as Robin insisted). Turns out they weren’t sure if the JL could be trusted with interdimensional politics, so Tucker spent the last two years gaining their trust to let Danny and Sam up here to ‘check the place out’ before they committed to becoming members.
Batman doesn’t even get to raise alarms at the espionage of it all because Red Robin has already programed their new badges and welcomed them on with open arms and a project to take down the LOA’s Lazarus Pits “safely”.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp crossover#dc crossover#danny phantom#tucker gets a job with the JL to do espionage and enjoys the benefits package while hes at it#tucker gets dental and 401k matching while also keeping an eye open for war crimes#tucker 'too fine' foley is thriving (respectfully) when working with wonder woman to get her passwords set up#danny is a huge fan and want to join but sam is adamant that they cant be so sure#sam is connected to the green and goes by the most goth plant hero name i could think of#ghost king danny#everyone in this AU has spent way too much time and money going to school and getting phds#except for tim of course#manson family scholarship is just taking change from her moms purse#chaos gremlin highschool dropout tim drake has already sorted this whole thing out before tucker or bruce could even recognize it
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