#shooting up

[everyone-is-emptyy]

[heroinangelz]

♡ I just want to be high with you ♡

"whats it feel like?"

"theres a chill....dont forget it passes.. and you'll see, I'll see you there ♡"

~Breaking Bad - Jesse And Jane (Episode 11)

[al1cemadn3ss]

No matter what i do someone will always see me as an addict

When the see my arms they will see my bad habits

The scars i have go up and down and side to side

The track marks are fading but the scars are hard to hide

People look at my body and see that ive lived

I've been through hell and back but i still try to give

All i want is to make them all proud

My addictions were digging me into the ground

Am i able to control this monster forever?

Its the hardest thing I've had to endeavor

Every day i keep trying to believe in myself

I never imagined i'd destroy my own health

~kh

[explicette]

[shmingleping]

Love the sound of the fans going or most especially music ~ $uicideboy$ ~ when that whole hearing thing is happening from iv cola.

[byt5bn5]

[queentorri]

In his mind he didn’t do anything wrong to me. But when those words came out of his mouth, “I love her, I can’t stop loving her. I’ve tried”. My world shattered. It wasn’t like I didn’t know he didn’t love me but I pretended he did because it got me through the grief, the loss, the emotional trauma. I just wasn’t prepared for him to shatter my facade in that capacity. He touched me, held me, but the entire time he wanted to be there with her, his ex girlfriend. I gave him physically, emotionally, everything I was capable of giving… and for him. I was just someone who he needed in those moments. But, I was not someone he chose, or someone he could ever want to choose. So there came the flood gates, the pain, the tears, the emotional agony was draining. In that moment, I wanted to not exist. The weight of wanting to take my last breath hit me so hard. I wanted to swallow a bottle of pills, no that’s not what I wanted. I wanted a needle in my vein because, it kept me breathing once before. Surely, it could do it again. I found some dope hoping it would help me forget the words that came out of his mouth, that it would make me forget the way he touches me, the way he doesn’t love me, doesn’t want to, I wanted it to make me forget his name. It did not. I proceeded to answer his call when it came after 3 days of being with her, not me. I answered. I was so happy to hear his voice, my favorite voice. I was happy to take the bare minimum from him as long as he came back to me. To where he doesn’t want to be. “But he came back”, I officially became that female. The one I said I would never be. All the years of recovery down the rain because a man younger then me, didn’t say I wasn’t enough but basically said I’d never be her. That shattered my heart in ways that I didn’t imagine possible. And it hurts, every text, every call, I answer… but I’ll never forget that I’m not her. He loves her. He’ll always love her. But some part of him came back to me, but I can’t forget he wishes it was her. What the fuck am I doing? Begging him to stay, when he will never love me. Where did my strength go? Where did my resolve disappear to? When did my mind decide that, the lack of a man loving me was enough to let my deadliest demon back into my life. I’m fooling myself, telling myself I can manage this. I can’t quit putting the poison into my arm, but it’s just another form of self harm. I’m trying to convince myself, convince my inner addict to please not do this. Please don’t throw everything away. I’m trying to convince me and my junkie, we don’t need this. But god, it feels so fucking good. It doesn’t make me forget his name, but it helps me feel the pain less. It makes the fact that I’m nobody’s favorite person sting less. It makes me able to work my crazy job and not be so tired. I’m running myself into the ground. I’m terrified where this can go. I’m trying to fight it but after 4 years apart, the needle went back in and I’m trying to find the strength to pull it back out. I’m terrified. Why did I let myself fall in love, I’ve seen too many fall for love. I thought I was capable of putting my intelligence above my emotions but here I am, loving a man who will never love me. Doing my bad habit, trying to keep my head above water. I’m drowning. I can’t let them know, I fell for love, I can’t let them know, I let him break me, and more importantly that I still love him despite everything that happened. I can’t let them know that I’m lost. I can’t let them know I was falling apart and I needed help but no one was around. I can’t let them know being alone was my downfall. They thought I was a different person, that I was stronger that despite everything I went through I had everything together. They would be so sad, they would blame themselves. It’s not their fault, no matter how pretty I dress her up, & put a fake smile on her, she’s always been a junkie, & the idea that she was enough for him kept her grounded.. but that when he said those soul shattering words, her resolve broke. Their daughter committed their biggest nightmare, over love.

[my-blank-stare]

Tonight marks the first time I’ve ever shot up heroin intravenously. Finally understand why people say it’s as good as they say it is. Especially on top of a high doses of benzodiazepines.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY HIGH RISK LIFE THREATENING BEAVIOR I DO NOT IN ANY WAY CONDONE IT!! DO NOT MIX BENZOS AND OPIATES!!

2024.28.29

[alcoholiclin]

i wanna drink i wanna drink i wanna drink i want to drink so bad god i want a drink i need to drink fuck im supposed to be sober but i feel like i have to have a drink right now or i'll die god i need a drink so bad i want to drink i want to drink i want to drink and do pills and smoke weed and take psychedelics and shoot up god i need something in my system right the fuck now or i'm gonna explode

but i cant. i have to stay sober.

[heroinangelz]

[xproblematiquexx]

[alienspoonss]

Just a reminder that I'm willing to sell personalized videos of me using Fetty and Speedy Tina😜 Just hit my inbox and we'll talk!

[tabithatarbutton]

Ladylake fl please help

I moved here 4 days ago fron pa i only brought a little bit now im fucking dying please pm me if your in the area

[shmingleping]

Things I hate about shooting coke:

The sting when the needle goes in sometimes

I can never stop at 1 or 2 shots

The way it completely fucks up my arms more than dope ever has

The feeling of those wounds when the drug is kinda more or less stuck in your skin

The abscesses, other types of wounds, the scars, skin discoloration bc of all that

Loving it as much as I hate it

Feeling trapped again just when I thought I might be done with heroin (or was at least going to give it a real try)

I hate this. I wish I never got into any of this.

[leroyfuntoy]

she slammed meth