#shitpot

[serialbxwl]

damn i forgot to post here oops

[fennecfiree]

stan marsh fanart i made with my mouse pad >w<

IM GONNA SOB

[lilisouless]

Kaz: its time...for the biggest bet of the year

Inej: first one to say an innuendo, dirty joke or comment, loses, even a subtle one

Nina: loser will face a terrible punishment

Wylan : attend to Alys´s piano recital

Jesper: anyone can lose...

(pause)

Jesper: okay, its not going to be Matthias

Matthias: coming from you, i don't know if its an insult or a compliment. But you are right, you in exchange won't last even three minutes

Inej: story of your life...

"everyone gasps"

Inej:...we are not in the game yet,right? I am not the first one to lose on the same game Nina and Jesper are competing, right?

Kaz: no no, we hadn't finished the countdown

"everyone nods"

Kaz: alright, three...two...one...now it begins!

----

Matthias: don't worry Nina, i won't want you to lose. So i won't give you a hard time

"Nina covers her mouth"

Matthias: sorry, i didn't mean to do that

Nina: Don't say "do that!"

Matthias: oh for Djel,Nina! I am trying to help you but its pretty hard when your mind its so deep in the gutter....

Matthias: okay, i hard myself , you have a point

Nina: thats it, i am moving out. I love you but i can't go to Aly´s recital and come back alive, you are too much of an easy prey. Please let me know as soon as someone loses.

---

Wylan: you want me to do what?

Matthias: please,Jesper will probably lose first anyway. So the sooner it happens the sooner she´ll come back so we may as well make him lose. Come on, Jesper annoys and pushes your buttons all the time, this is the perfect time to get back at him.

Wylan: But i am not so vindictive that i would make my own beloved boyfriend lose.

Matthias:

Wylan:

"both burst into laughter"

Wylan: yeah, that was the worst lie i´ve ever said

Click to see the loser (meaning the loser of the game, not meaning Kaz the permanent loser)

Matthias: come on Jesper, you know you are going to lose anyway , i want Nina to come soon

Jesper getting a nervous tick : you are not going to break me... no matter how ha...dificult it is to not make fun of you

Wylan: oh poor baby, you look stressed. Do you want to do something fun? Do you want to go and blow up some stuff? you know you like blowing up things with me, lets blow things together!

Jesper starts sweating

Wylan: aww you are sweating? but its not that hot...is it really that hot here?

Jesper: fuck you

Wylan: thats your job

"everyone gasps"

Wylan: no...no...NOOOOOOOOOO!

[naturestarstruck]

For Apothecary Diaries Fandom

MaoMao has turned into a small cat. Jinshi apporaches the said cat and with male brain, finds out that this is MaoMao. Immediately puts her on top of his head for no reason but to find it really adorable to put her annoyed cat form on top of his head.

Jinshi suspects Lakan to be the culprit and starts locating him. when he spots him.

Jinshi: *aproaches angerly* LAKAN!!! You are a piece of shit!

Also Jinshi: *Rolls up sleeves for a beat down* I'm gonna kick your ass!

meanwhile Cat MaoMao: (Just casually sits on top of Jinshi's head that made it look like she's controlling Jinshi)

[fanfictionroxs]

there's 3 types of reactions to airplane's literature:

the cucumber reaction: PORN WHAT PORN?! WHERE'S THE PLOT, BASTARD?!

the binghe reaction: SHIZUN TEACH ME FROM THIS BOOK! *shen yuan starts to teach him the plot*

the mobei reaction: *violently shaking airplane like it will exorcise him* WHO ARE YOU?!

[toothbrushfingers]

yk sometimes i see or hear someone talking about httyd irl and my brain just goes:

🫵🏻 😃

[problematicbots]

Historically accurate Jazz

[all-bart-and-bite]

Vegans: WhY dO yOu EaT aNiMaLs YoU wOuLdN’t EaT a HuMaN, rIgHt? Me: The law requires for me to answer with “no, I’d never” (don’t forget to lock your doors at night, kids)

[yuyuonabeat]

Me when some people on this app.

Let’s use our brains a little more. Shall we?

[corviisquire]

me scrolling past every sleep token related thing telling myself “ill watch it tomorrow” knowing that I will be too tired to watch it tomorrow

[fluffygiraffe]

I like ignoring my F/O's crimes. Unpopular opinion.

[viky-somebody]

Derivakats song Win It All if it was about Decked Out 2: I'll take the crowns and the coins, i can win it all

[anime-grimmy]

(imma just post my brainfarts I keep putting on my insta stories here too, so u have to suffer like my insta audience)

You ever just, get a sentence or joke stuck in your head, like you would a song? Just constantly repeating, like someone was insistent you get the joke?

Anyways, the horrible joke that keeps looping in my brain:

Vash: Trigun? Oh, yes, I have three guns, right here!

*flexes left arm

Vash: And here!

*flexes right arm

Meryl: And where is the third?

Vash: *mischieveous smirk

*looks down at his crotch

Meryl: You're such a disgusting man

[lesbiansupernatural]

Why did no one tell me soup is so fucking easy to make????

Just chucked some vegetables in a tray, drizzled over some olive oil, put it in the oven for like 20 mins, threw it in a blender with some vegetable broth and BAM. soup.

Feels like sorcery

[toothbrushfingers]

fishlout version